The Bill Simmons Podcast - Saints-Rams, Succession's Brilliance, Team USA's Demise, Minshew Mania, and Million-Dollar Picks With Mallory Rubin and Joe House | The Bill Simmons Podcast

Episode Date: September 12, 2019

HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Mallory Rubin for Mallory’s Most Intriguing, in which she shares her five most intriguing story lines of the week in football, including: Chip Kelly's uncertain future at UCLA, a rough start to the Jets' season, backup Jaguars QB Gardner Minshew II, and more (2:15). Then Bill connects with Joe House for Million-Dollar Picks (52:27). Finally Bill, House, and Mallory discuss another wild episode of HBO's 'Succession' (1:29:12). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today's special episode of Thursday Rolling here on the Ringer Podcast Network is brought to you by ZipRecruiter. Hiring can be a challenge as codable founder Gretchen Huebner discovered. She needed to hire a game artist for her education tech company. She went to ZipRecruiter.com, posted her job, found the right person in less than two weeks with results like that. It's no wonder four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day. Right now, try ZipCruiter for free at zipcruiter.com slash BS. ZipCruiter is the smartest way to hire. We're also brought to you by Square, which is more than a credit card reader. It's a whole system of tools built to help grow your business from online stores to access to business loans. Go to square.com slash go slash BS to see how you can take your business from square one to

whatever's next. Loans subject to credit approval and issued by Celtic Bank. Remember FDIC. We're also brought to you the ringer.com and the ringer podcast network where next week we are premiering a brand new podcast called the hottest take. It is exclusive to Spotify. It is going to be multiple times per week, probably four. And each week, it's a seven to eight minute episode. That's it. Where we just have a take and we sell the shit out of it. And it'll all make more sense when you actually hear it. But this is an idea we've had seven different versions of this idea.

And then we find Atlanta on this. But I'm really happy with it. It's actually probably the most fun podcast for me to do, especially because it's short. You just got to go all in the whole time. But anyway, follow the hottest take on Spotify because that is launching on Monday. And I promise you, you will enjoy that one.

Coming up, Mallory Rubin is going to do Mallory's Most Intriguing. Joe Haas is going to come on and talk about Team USA. And then we're going to do Million Dollar Picks. And then Mallory is coming back and we're going to talk about succession, which is just on an unbelievable run right now. That's all coming up first. Our friends from Pearl Jam. All right, Mally Rubin is here. She is, on October 1st, going to be the editor-in-chief of The Ringer.

But she does Mally's Most Intriguing every week. Last week was a roaring success. Oh, I'm thrilled to hear it. There was a lot of Lamar love. Both of us were all in on Lamar. We tried to warn America something great was going to happen. And then something great happened. And I think that was the most excited I've ever seen you. I haven't known you really since. Did we know each other when the Ravens won the Super Bowl because Ray Lewis cheated? I'm not sure what you're referencing in the second part of that. We didn't know each other, did we?

But in terms of the first part, no, we did not. No. Yeah. So this is the happiest I've ever seen you from sports. It was a special moment. I mean, I think that the happiest you've ever seen me from sports was probably the Orioles clinching the AL East, which was like, I literally brought me to tears and also happened to happen on my birthday,

which I still can't believe was real life. But this is definitely the happiest you've seen me from any sort of football thing. It was incredible. Lamar looked amazing. You were just texting me letters.

They weren't even arranged as words. I was also doing the thing where really for no reason I was sending you the exact same messages on three separate text threads that we were on. Yeah.

Like you may be, in case you missed them in one spot, here they are again. I just assumed you blacked out. It was bliss. So I don't know what this is going to mean

long term for him as a fantasy guy, but he is, I would imagine, they're playing the Cardinals this week. I would imagine he's starting everywhere,

but I feel really vindicated though. I like the way the Ravens look. Granted, they're playing the Dolinals this week. I would imagine he's starting everywhere, but I feel really vindicated though. I like the way the Ravens look. Granted, they're playing the Dolphins, but I still feel like what we said last week was what mattered. They've created an offense that is tailored specifically to him. Exactly.

And all things he's good at. And he looked great. That's right. And also part of being a good player and a good team and a competitive team is actually annihilating the bad teams. True. Really, truly, fully dominating those games.

And they did that. And I think more than even the touchdowns, more than the perfect pass rating, though. Again, you know, why not mention those things? Might as well mention them. Yes. Touchdowns, perfect pass ratings. It's fine. The ball looked so crisp.

It did. It looked so crisp and sharp. It felt like, you know, the sound you make when you crack open a steamed crab. That was what I heard every time one of those balls zipped through the air. The sound that when I post-mated Jenny's ice cream last night

and cracked it open. The best. The best. I can't believe that you didn't get nine pints. Three people eating. Well, I told you I got three pints for me and my two children. And I followed up and asked per person. I said, no, there's just one each.

It's confused. Yeah. It's the height of laziness when it's still relatively summer and it's hot outside. And I have two kids and my wife is out and we all look at each other and we decide we want ice cream and we can't drive three minutes to go get ice cream. This is our culture now. Laziness or efficiency? That's how I was feeling. You're using that time. Because we were watching yesterday, the Beatles movie.

There you go. You're using that time in a valuable way. I actually have not seen that. Yeah. You would like it. You'll cry a couple of times. I'm sure I will. All right.

Let's do most intriguing. Okay. Number five. We go backwards from five to one. You're most intriguing people of the NFL season week two. Yes. I just want to issue a caveat

to say that it should go without saying that Lamar, Kyler, that matchup is obviously number one in my heart, but I am going to exercise some willpower and not put Lamar on my top five this week. Right. Just for the sake of a variety.

It's almost like the Apple, when they do the new podcast chart or like the hottest podcast, when they do the new podcast chart and it's like the hottest podcast, but they're all new podcasts. But like the staples like this one. Right. Kind of get discounted. Assume Lamar is still at the top of the chart.

Right. And assume I'm one of the most listening podcasts out there. Thank you. So number five, a little twist for you. Yeah. Because you told me last week,

you know, don't limit myself. Go anywhere I want with this. Right. Could be non-NFL. Starting with college football. Okay. This is something that NFL fans will be interested in. The Chip Kelly watch is on, folks. Oh! Because UCLA Bruins football

is officially must watch train wreck television. I cannot believe how bad things have gotten at UCLA for Chip and how quickly it is an absolute debacle in Westwood. Now recall, they hired him November 2017 to replace Jim Mora. Jim Mora was supposed to come in, much like New Heisle before him, etc. On and on the list

goes. Even the battle in LA, right? Make sure that UCLA could compete with USC. And Jim Mora had competitive teams for a while, obviously, at Josh Rosen, elite recruiting classes. He was fired because he went 4-8 and then 5-6 in his final two years. Chip Kelly last year went three and nine. And so far in the season, he is 0-2 with losses to unranked Cincinnati. The score of that game was 24-14. The fabled Chip Kelly offense put up 14 points. And then they lost to unranked San Diego State 23-14. They lost to San Diego State? I didn't even see that. Folks, it's not what you want. Wow. Does San Diego State even have a football stadium?

Oh, I mean, the Aztecs are a legit program. But this is just full-on ineptitude for UCLA. It can't be the way you start, period, there. And it definitely can't be the way you start when you bring in Chip Kelly, and then he has a 3-9 first year. So why do I bring this up now? Because they're playing No. 5 Oklahoma this week in what should be like a signature national showcase game for the program and is instead a game that has led UCLA, and this is not a joke, I swear this is real,

to give away tickets to the football game. Really? They are giving away four free tickets to current season ticket holders for a game at the Rose Bowl against number five Oklahoma. So they're worried it's going to be like half full. Well, last week, and again, last week was not against Oklahoma. But, you know, the Rose Bowl sees nearly 100,000 people, right? There were, I think, 36,000 people there. And it's freaking hot. It is.

It is warm out. If it's during the day, it's brutal. So the question is, what has gone wrong and is there time to fix it? The offense, 98th in national scoring offense last year, 75th in total offense so far this year, 119th and 127th in those metrics. So that's concerning. And I think just as alarmingly, it's a personnel thing. When Chip Kelly was at Oregon, famously, he was always able to win and compete, including

playing in a national title game without having recruiting classes built around four and five star players. That was one of his great skills. It was so much about his system and his offensive genius that it didn't actually matter. He was able to make players other people didn't think could be stars into stars in his system. What's happening here so far is that there's been a mass exodus, a ton of transfers, and he's so far at least not bringing in elite recruits. Because there's that Nike paying for players. He's got, I mean, he's got Adidas, like UCLA is an Adidas school. All right, so he does have a shoe company paying for players. That's good. Actually, wait, hold on. Hold on. Excuse me. UCLA is an Under Armour school now.

Okay? Under Armour deal. Under Armour money. New uniforms. All of that. The recruiting class last year was 47th nationally. Do you know where UCLA is? Like, which part of the world UCLA is in?

It's always unbelievable to me that the California schools don't get half of all the good players. But they usually do. Like, that's the thing. That's what makes this so astounding and so truly alarming. Well, can I ask you a Chip Kelly question just as somebody who knows nothing? Yeah. Part of what made him succeed at Oregon, other than Nike's deep pockets, where he was really cutting edge with the offenses he was running.

And people were saying he was a genius. But now those offenses are pretty standard now, right? For being cutting edge. They're not even cutting edge anymore. It's just kind of how everyone plays football. So what makes him special in 2019? Well, I think that's officially the question to start asking. Is he continuing or able to continue to innovate beyond

what the original Chip Kelly template was and is? Because if he's not and he doesn't have the players who are going to be able to, I mean, look, they're in the Pac-12. They're going to play, obviously, USC and then they're a program of enough merit to bring in a team like Oklahoma. They have a ranked game against Washington State in a couple weeks. They have legitimate teams on their schedule all year. They're going to have to play Arizona State, Stanford, Cal, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So until, like, days before their opening game this year, he hadn't named a quarterback. It was a three-person competition. It just seems like there's no clarity on what's even happening there. And then you look at what's

happening on the field, they're not able to put up points. It's like, where are the plays? Where's the innovation? Where's the innovation? Where's the genius? The thing is, the genius is coming into town this week. Like, that's Lincoln Riley now. Yeah.

The Oklahoma head coach. He's the new Chip Kelly. Well, the genius is in Foxborough. All right. Lincoln Riley can swim in his wake. Baker Mayfield.

Yeah. Heisman, number one pick. Kyler Murray, Heisman, number one pick. That's the lastan number one pick that's the last two years the last two quarterbacks for Lincoln Riley in Oklahoma

now he has Jalen Hurts the Alabama transfer right yeah Jalen who lost his job to Tua yeah lost his job to Tua

at Alabama transferred to Oklahoma I believe he has nine touchdowns in his first two games they have 119 points they're like third in scoring offense

first in total offense something extraordinary. I mean, again, opening games against weak competition. But the Oklahoma offense is the thing that the Chip Kelly offense used to be and people thought it was going to be. I mean, UCLA, it wasn't like everyone was saying, oh, Chip is washed.

They were in a battle with Florida to get Chip Kelly. This happened with Buddy Ryan way back when. He had the 4-6 defense on the Bears and revolutionized what we thought NFL defenses could do. And then he kind of rode the fumes of that to the Eagles where he just had an incredibly talented defense that was like historically loaded. But people thought he was pulling the strings

kind of more than the talent in the defense or that it was even, but it was really the talent in the defense. And then by the early 90s, people figured it out and that was it. I wonder if that's what happened with Chip Kelly. It might be. The thing is, like, you look at somebody like,

I mentioned Washington State. Look at Mike Leach. He's still running the Mike Leach offense and his quarterback, who we're going to talk about shortly, folks, his quarterback last year was the leading passer in the country, Gardner Minshew.

So it's not like he hasn't been able to sustain that success, right? So why can't Chip? What's the contract? You know what my offense would be? What would your offense be? It's my Madden offense. Five wide receiver, shotgun, spread it.

Got people cutting across, people going deep, running picks on each other. Unstoppable. I can't believe... I know I've beaten Kyle with it. Have you? Yeah. I can't believe that you as a gronk man

don't have more affinity for a personnel set with at least a tight end. I have the tight end in there. It's five wide receivers, but the tight end's a little bit off the line. Okay. Yeah. No running backs?

No running backs? Yeah. You don't need to put James White out there and then stealthily turn him into a receiver? Okay. Don't need it. Quarterback calls play, just sees the line of scrimmage and goes,

who's number four? Speaking of stunning collapses, maybe not so stunning. Is the Jets season already over? That's number four. It feels like it. It certainly feels like it from the Jets fans that I know who have already just like, oh my God,

it's not even mid-September yet. So that's how it felt just after game one, right? Yeah, before mono for Sam Darnold. The 17-16 loss to the Bills, 17 unanswered points. And even by the instant Jets-Adam Gase standard, a really astonishing press conference to explain or really not explain anything that had happened in the game where he said, and I quote, that's the beauty part of being a head coach.

I can basically do what I want. That was in response to someone asking about Ty Montgomery's snap count. Like, if that's your response to talking about Ty Montgomery, how are you going to talk about Sam Darnold having mono or Le'Veon Bell getting an MRI on his shoulder or anything actually consequential? When do we think Sam Darnold had mono? Because they got the ball back

with like a little less than three minutes left down one. They only had to go 40 yards at home for a field goal. And they looked like an absolute shitshow. I don't know. I mean, I think that's a question after today's announcement because it sounds like he's going to miss a lot of time. Unclear how much. One of the things that they said is that he's lost a ton of weight,

so then you wonder about his physical readiness last week even to play. What was his conditioning? What was his stamina? Maybe that did have some sort of effect. I don't know. But I think it's one of these Jets stories where the instant reaction on Twitter and on the internet was like, lol, mono. And it's like you're saying, it's one of these Jets stories where the instant reaction on Twitter and on the internet was like,

lol, mono. And it's like you're saying, it's actually not funny. It's a serious illness. And it is a terrible way to derail the beginning of Sam Darnold's sophomore season. But because it's the Jets, the impulse is to say,

oh my God, like how many things are going to happen to the Jets? It's only heading into week two. And they're on Monday night football. They have the Browns game on Monday night. The Browns are obviously also coming off a disappointing week one. And this kind of like instantly feels like a must-win game for both of these teams.

If you look at the Jets' schedule, there's a real chance, especially with Donald out, that they could start the year 0-6. Like a real chance. Did you see what happened to the line? Today after the mono announcement? The Browns went from minus 3 to minus 7. Yeah. I mean that seems reasonable, right?

Trevor Simeon is going to play quarterback for this team. Not as reasonable if you actually watched Sam Darnold last weekend. But go ahead. Give us the schedule. The schedule is Browns this week. Loss. New England in week 3. Loss. Bye in week 4 loss bye in week four very

very fortuitous bye week placement there good for the Jets fans just emotionally they get they get a brief reprieve early in the season and then it's

Philly, Dallas and New England again that is a brutal brutal opening stretch that's 0-6 unless Le'Veon who by the way

they might be injured we're not sure about him but he would have to go nuts in one of those games so Le'Veon, who, by the way, they might be injured. We're not sure about him, but he would have to go nuts in one of those games. So Le'Veon Bell, unclear what the severity is. He's got soreness in his shoulder, getting an MRI.

CJ Mosley, their big ticket, former Raven, one of my favorite Ravens. He was good in the first half of that Jets game. He looked fabulous. They gave him a huge contract. He's hurt.

Sounds like he's progressing well, but it's unclear when exactly he'll be back. They already lost Quincy Inouye for the entire season. First round draft pick from the past draft, Quentin Williams, not practicing right now. Ankle injury.

They have a lot of injuries mounting. They had to elevate Luke Falk. A lot of Washington State talk on this podcast so far. I was not expecting this. From the practice squad to get ready to be the backup quarterback for a Monday night football game. That is not the place you want to be in week

two. And then Gase, all of this Gase stuff. His announcement today of the Darnold mono illness was so bizarre. Like even by the Adam Gase bizarreness scale standard, here's what he said. 14 has mono and will be out for this game.

You can't say your starting quarterback's name. 14. He then continues, so Trevor will be starting. Okay, big for all of our Northwestern fans. So now he says Trevor's name? Yes. Why didn't he say like nine is starting or whatever number it is?

I know, right? This is strange. And then he continues, and Luke Falk will get elevated at some point and be the backup. So that would be that. That's how he concluded. Then, the other thing

that happened this week is that Manish had a report in the Daily News that when Gase was still with the Dolphins,

he, okay, the story starts, he preferred, he was in love with one quarterback. He fell in love with the tape thatins, he, okay, the story starts, he preferred, he was in love with one quarterback. He fell in love with the tape that he was crunching, the film that he was studying. Oh, it's Baker Mayfield.

Okay, fine. Like, probably a lot of NFL front officers and coaches thought Baker Mayfield was the best quarterback in the draft. That's fine. Here's, here's the zinger, Bill. He reportedly also preferred Josh Allen to Sam Darnold.

Oh. And did not, quote, didn't believe that Darnold had star potential. So that's the thing that's now out in the world. And even though he wasn't

the Jets coach, it doesn't matter. It's like the thing that people are talking about is that Adam Gase... That could be made up. Sure. I mean, that could be somebody

just leaking that to Manish just to screw over Adam Gase. It's definitely possible. Sure, maybe. I mean, that could be somebody just leaking that to Manish just to screw over Adam Gase. It's definitely possible. It's just that the general tenor around Gase and the team makes it kind of hard to doubt anything you hear. It's one of those situations. Pretty quickly got into that place. Again, you go back to the way he was talking after the Bills loss

and just like the line played like shit. The receivers played like shit like, the line played like shit. The receivers played like shit. The DBs played like shit. You know, he wasn't actually using foul language in person, but he was pretty willingly throwing entire units. You can kind of see why Peyton Manning liked him, right? Because he's a dick. And Peyton Manning is a Hall of Famer of all time

who's like, sure, I kind of like this dick. He just says his mind. Sure. And he can handle it. But if you put somebody like that with a young team and a young quarterback

in a big city, it might not be a good idea. Is that going to work? I don't know. It certainly didn't work in Miami. I made excuses for him when he was in Miami

because the roster, they did so many weird things for that it was even hard to evaluate if he was a good coach. Right. But I don't like anything he's done so far

with the Jets. He just seems kind of like a jerk. Never forget that this is a man who once said that the internet and social media are pollution of the brain. Well, he might not be wrong on that. That might be the smartest thing to say. I just want to say one thing on Mono.

Yeah. Because I do think people underrate it. And I think it all stems back to a famous Brady Bunch episode in the mid-70s where it became, you know, it's a sitcom. That was one of the formative shows of the 70s. Everybody under the age of, I would say, 35 has seen every Brady Bunch probably. Right. Kyle? I mean, over 35, not under 35.

Kyle's like, what's the Brady Bunch? I had mono, though. I just didn't watch all the Brady Bunch. 35 and over, I would say, at least knows all the Brady Bunch episodes. Right. And they kind of made light of Mono. And it's like, yeah, you can actually die for Mono. You can get Mono in school

and not come back for two and a half months. Right. Everyone's like making kissing jokes, but it's not good. It's weird. It would be like Sam Darnold might have leukemia. We wouldn't be like, oh, oh, oh. But Mono's like really bad.

It's a terrible thing for Sam. I feel bad for him. I feel bad for Jets fans. And I wish that it's not realistic to wish for the Jets fans to be able to enjoy a winning football team.

I think the Jets fans are post. Post winning? Post football enjoyment. I wish that they. It's now post apocalypse for the Jets fans. It's just every, you know,

we did a, we did a theme day in the preseason, like basically the, the tale of the tape of Jets Giants dystopia right now and who had it worse. But the thing was that there was like reason for positivity and excitement in both cases, you know, you're going to make fun of Eli Manning all year. Right. Boy, do we have a lot of fodder for that already just after week one but Dave Gettleman

if you can talk yeah I mean if you can talk yourself into Danny Dimes which I personally can't but some delusional Giants fans

seem able to do is that what we're calling him now Danny Dimes that's uh that's the nickname out in the world yeah the Jets fans the biggest thing

they had going for them this year was at least we're not the Giants, which is a nice place to be if you're the Jets fan. You've lost that already. You've lost it already. And the Giants could,

they could beat the Bills this week. Who knows? The Bills are minus two. If you're going to be 0-6, I mean, the back two-thirds of the schedule

is much easier, but still, at a certain point, you have to start thinking about, especially when you're in the same division as the fish tank, as Miami,

do you tank? Do you try to get Tua? You're heading into an outstanding quarterback draft class. And if Gase ultimately is not a Darnold believer, then at some point, and I like Sam Darnold. I'm not nearly as enamored of him

as some of the other quarterbacks from that draft class, but I do like him. If Gase doesn't, at some point you have to move on. And then it starts to become a bigger story than just the Jets, because we'd be on the heels of

potentially two of the top quarterbacks taken in that draft class, two have to move on. And then it starts to become a bigger story than just the Jets because we'd be on the heels of potentially two of the top quarterbacks taken in that draft class, two in the top 10, teams moving on from them while they were still on their rookie court contracts. Like, I don't think it's gotten to that place with Darnold yet, but you might see that conversation pick up

in like five weeks, which is pretty wild. Could trade him. Yeah. I mean, the Cardinals traded Josh Rosen because they had the first pick and they wanted to take Kyler Murray. What a tough beat for Fennessey.

It's really rough. Fennessey was all in on Sam last year. He still is. In like a really dramatic way. He's very partial to Sam. He loves Sam. We have a lot of sad Jets fans here. It's very tough for them.

I wish them well. And I hope that- I don't think you have to say that there are sad Jets fans. I think that comes with the territory. That's like saying they wear green uniforms. The Jets fans are just sad. Listen, that's another thing.

They're like Rick in Walking Dead. They're just like covered in zombie guts and just trying to survive. Two follow-up points to that. Covering in the zombie guts, that's a smart move. That sounds strategy. That's so that they don't smell you

and sense you when you walk through. That's what the Jets fans should do. The question is, can Adam Gase identify the football equivalent of covering yourself in zombie guts to get to the other side of the fence that you're trying to reach? I don't know if we have the answer,

but you mentioned the green. Those new uniforms are really rough. That's the other thing. Yeah. You changed an iconic uniform on top of everything I really like the uniforms what are you doing

alright alright number three when are we getting a G Minshew now not yet oh not yet wow

who's number three can Dak Prescott keep it up yeah Dak attack so much talk in the offseason as always

obviously about the Cowboys and in particular, obviously, about the Cowboys, and in particular this offseason about the Cowboys' contract situations. What should Dak be paid? What did he want to be paid? Were the reports about what he wanted to be paid right? This was a persistent story. And all of the conversation around his value and his prospective contract, Jerry Jones saying, he's our guy, we're going to extend him, but not being able to actually agree to a deal. All of that was against the backdrop of them actually extending numerous other players.

Like, obviously, Ezekiel Elliott was holding out, and that took a while to resolve, hanging out in Cabo, et cetera. But he did end up getting a $60 or $90 million deal. Cabo, overrated. I can't say I've been. Can't really swim. What do you mean? You can't swim.

The undertow might take you out go to you can't swim you might the undertow might take you out and you get killed by sharks can I ask a question are you going there to swim though

I don't know is that the point what's the point of going to a beach place if you can't if you might die when you're swimming is the proposition

of Cabo doing like the breaststroke in the ocean I think if Cabo had not as cool of a sounding name yeah

would be way less cool yeah but that's a huge part of it people are like yeah I'm going to Cabo that's a huge of a sounding name, it would be way less cool. Yeah, but that's a huge part of it. People are like, yeah, I'm going to Cabo. That's a huge part of it. It's all about the marketing. Well, don't swim because you'll die. It's all about the marketing. And don't swallow water because you'll have the shits for four days.

Have fun. That's my take on Cabo. Save the shitting talk for our impending succession discussion. Please save it for later. So Elliot got his contract. Demarcus Lawrence, Jalen Smith, Lyle Collins, all that. And then Dak comes out in week one and has his pay me game, right?

25 for 32, 405 yards, four touchdowns. They crushed the Giants. It's the Giants. Great fist pump. Oh yeah. I think Dak might be the number one fist pump guy other than when Brady is like really fired up. But when the touchdown, he'll go toward the sidelines

and he'll do like the full, get his whole body into it, like almost jump in the air fist pump. I think Kyle would, Brady can do it, but I don't think as consistently as Dak. He's not like leaving the ground too often. No, but Brady will get there. But I think Dak is day toto-day the best fist bumper. Are you saying there might be a chance that Dak Prescott is slightly more mobile and athletically inclined than Tom Brady?

I think Tom Brady's more mobile. No? Is that what you're saying? Tom Brady's figured out a new way to run at the TB12 clinic. He retrained his legs. He's so mobile. Mobile 42-year-old. Just all the drills, running away from strawberries.

Really keeps you fit, folks. Here's a strawberry. Oh, no! Oh, no, it's a Starbucks run! Practice this. Fist pump toward the avocado, Tom. It's like you're reaching for an avocado. Reaching for some kale. Dude's 42. He has more hair than he did 12 years ago,

and he's faster than he was 12 years ago. Yes. And it's all natural. The hair for sure is natural. What a mane on him. Yes. Unbelievable. No other explanation for how his hair looks like that.

Listen, sometimes people use better shampoos. Yes. Better oils. A thickening shampoo. That must be what it is. That's what it is. What sort of conditioner do you think he's using? An expensive one.

Yeah. Maybe some mousse, some product to help with the volume. Listen, his wife's from Brazil. They have some tricks over there. Nice, healthy head of hair on him. Yeah. Yeah. It looks great.

So Dak, we can skip over Dak. No turnovers, no sacks. Perfect passer rating. Dak was great. Is it sustainable? That's the question. They're playing Washington this week. Washington's defense is a little sneaky, but I still think it'll

be great. Right. It's the Kellen Moore offense. The question for him is whatever, the late Sunday game against a good D and they're down eight. Right. And there's like five minutes left. Is that your guy?

But I feel the same way about Jared Goff. Yeah. I don't know if I trust Jared Goff in that situation. Okay, so that's a perfectly fine comp because Jared Goff just got his contract. Right. So when is Dak Prescott getting his contract? That's really the question.

I mean, the Cowboys have the most wins in the NFC over the last three years. And in that span of time, he's earned $2.7 million. That's ridiculous. It's the Dallas Cowboys have the most wins in the NFC over the last three years. And in that span of time, he's earned $2.7 million. That's ridiculous. It's the Dallas Cowboys. Would you rather have him or Jacoby Brissett? This year or for a certain number of years in the future? Would you rather have Jacoby Brissett at 15 or Dak at 35?

I'd rather have Jacoby Brissett at 15. Sure. Yeah. I mean, you always have to factor in. I'd rather have G. Minshew at four. Wow. I mean. Fucking have to factor in I'd rather have G Minshew at four wow I mean fucking G

the Mississippi mustache there's like real I can't wait save it save it let's keep moving do you think that Dak can sustain it

that's the question right because the Kellen Moore offense first year coordinator motion play action letting Dak throw the ball deep, which he's actually really good at and wasn't able to do before,

taking advantage of the Michael Gallup glow-up, Amari Cooper, all of Dak's numbers since Amari Cooper arrived in Dallas are actually legitimately better. The ageless wonder, Jason Witten, back not using Tom Brady's shampoo, it turns out.

Shaved it. But will Dak be able to keep it up? I don't know. So here's the thing. One last thing, and then we'll move on. Gallup's really good. I actually think. And he's not a sleeper because people were treating him in their drafts and auctions like he was a sleeper.

Yeah, he was a huge training camp type guy. The sleeper was out. But I don't think Dak's ever had two receivers at the same time like this. Right. And then, I mean, even he has Randall Cobb in town now. And again, he has Ezekiel Elliott in the backfield. He can also run. He, meaning Dak, can also run. And they're playing behind an elite offensive line. He's never been in an offense this good. And you can very reasonably ask what a quarterback's skill and value is independent of that. But the way football works in 2019 is that you have to actually assess the system. The quarterback does play in the system. That's what you're paying for

is whether the personnel and the scheme can work together. I feel the same way about him as I do about a few other quarterbacks. I think when they have the lead, they look awesome. And when they can just play differently and have a different mindset. Derek Carr was like that on Monday night. He had the lead the whole game, you know, and he was able to kind of play it safe and do smart things. And the question for me with these guys is always what happens when you're down a TD with four minutes left.

And I'm still not a thousand percent sold on Dak on that, but we'll see. Yeah, no, I'm with you. It's still an open question, but I think this is the, maybe the most confident that we've had, that we've been able to feel. He was playing the Giants who we ridiculed all offseason. The Giants are awful. I will say with Gallup, there is a world in which he gets like 1,100 yards and 13 TDs this year. Do you have him on one of your fantasy teams?

I have him on one of them. I think he's legitimately good. Yeah. So, all right. We're taking a break. Then we're going to the final two. Let's take a break to talk about Amazon Kindle. Read as much as you want from over 1 million books

that are available on Kindle Unlimited. They put over 1 million eBooks and 5,000 audio books at your fingertip. You can easily switch from reading to listening when your eyes need a break. million books that are available on Kindle Unlimited. They put over 1 million eBooks and 5,000 audio books at your fingertip. You can easily switch from reading to listening when your eyes need a break. You can choose from a rotating selection of current issues from popular magazines. Books may be added and removed from time to time, but with a variety of genres and titles to choose from, you can enjoy popular titles or discover your new favorite series. You know what's on here.

Well, Mallory ran to the bathroom, so she would be making loud, happy noises if she knew this. But Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Yeah, that's on there. We also have My Mother Was Nuts. Did I write that? And a whole bunch of other ones. Read anywhere on the bus, on your break, in your bed, whatever device you prefer, like your phone, tablet, PC, or e-reader. When you're reading a book, the Kindle app will automatically sync where you left off along with any bookmarks, highlights, or notes. So you can

start reading on one device, pick up on another. That is an underrated strength of this thing, by the way. For a limited time, you get three months of Kindle Unlimited for just $1.99 by visiting amazon.com slash BSP. Make sure you type it all in lowercase, amazon.com slash BSP for three months of Kindle Unlimited for just $1.99. All right, back to Mallory. All right, two left. One of them is going to be G Minshew. Which one though? I don't know. You tell me. Number two. Okay. Saints, Rams, revenge game, rematch. Yes.

So, revenge game talk is kind of stupid. You can't actually get revenge for one of the most egregious no calls in sports history in the NFC championship game, which kept you out of the Super Bowl and allowed no-calls in sports history in the NFC Championship game, which kept you out of the Super Bowl

and allowed the Rams to go in your place in week two of a regular season. You can't get revenge for that. Can you get revenge on all the ways you choked in that game as well, other than the call? Can you get revenge on yourself? The nine different ways they choked, including winning the toss at OT

and fucking it up anyway, including completely mismanaging the clock, including blowing a lead in the Superdome in the first half when it was like Jared Goff and down double figures, the game should be over. The Saints won in week one

against the Texans, but there were plenty of confounding moments that could have led to a different result there. The Texans got the ball less than a minute left and scored in two plays. Two plays. Two plays.

The first play. Sean needed two throws. The first play, DeAndre Hopkins is somehow open. He's the best receiver in the entire league. He's open by two yards.

And then the second play, they're blitzing. They're blitzing Watson for some reason. There's like 40 seconds left they don't have timeouts and just hit stills right down the middle of the field

I was confounded it it was a very strange game but at the end of the day they won huge like 58 yard field goal

right as time expired that and then 58 yard field goal because freaking Bill O'Brien was giving them a 10 yard pad with 6 seconds left that's when you blitz here's the because freaking Bill O'Brien was giving them a 10-yard pad with six seconds left.

That's when you blitz. Here's the thing about Bill O'Brien. He stinks? Definitely shouldn't be making decisions as a de facto GM right now and also probably shouldn't be a head football coach in the NFL. Other than those two things, they're fine. Other than those two things, he's doing great. Okay, so Revenge game. So, the inherent premise is slightly flawed, and yet, that's

the glory of being a sports fan, is that that feels real. And it feels real to the players, too, clearly, because the narrative heading into this game, the tension and the energy around it is really palpable. That's a cool and kind of rare thing for week two.

So, it's in LA. The Saints coming in as the road team. They got all this lament talk that they're carrying with them still. This is a thing we'll never forget. And then you have the Rams on the other side. Literally, people have been writing about this this week that on Wednesday, all of these reporters were huddled around Roby Coleman's locker asking him about the play. He was obviously

the defensive back who had the... Blatant isn't even a strong enough word, but the blatant pass interference on Tommy Lelous that wasn't called

led to a rule change, an NFL rule change in the offseason but the blatant pass interference on Tommy Lillis that wasn't called. Great play. Led to a rule change, an NFL rule change in the offseason so the PI can now be reviewed. Everyone's huddled around asking him. And Sean McVay walks by and shouts, how many times can you ask the same question? So the teams are processing this in a totally different way. The Saints want to talk about it because it's fuel for them. And the Rams can't wait to move on. Tlaib, that's a totally different way. The Saints want to talk about it because it's fuel for them. And the Rams can't wait to move on.

Tlaib, that's a New Orleans problem. It's not an LA problem. I just love this shit. Here's the thing though. Fuel to them can be a bad thing, not a good thing. Because it's a distraction? It's not just a distraction. I just think this is good advice to have in life.

And there's been a couple of times in my life where I wish I had just gone forward and not dwelled on something that happened backwards. And it does seem like they've dwelled a lot on the backwards this season. And that was one of the reasons why I didn't like them in that division. Unfortunately, for that prediction, their division sucks. And the Panthers, I don't think Cam completed a pass now he's by oh this will run before the game tonight but yeah um I Cam just doesn't look the same to me right the Falcons were the Falcons were a coaching and whole thing debacle and they like Matt Ryan just didn't

look good and put did his usual Matt Ryan garbage time routine. And then the Bucs, the Winston thing, he might be out of the league in five weeks. I don't know what to expect from them. I know. People talk about the Pats lucking into a division,

but I would say the Saints have also lucked into a division would be my take. It does feel like one of the rare week ones where most of the divisions already seem clear. And that probably won't be

what we're saying in a few weeks, but a lot of teams really seem completely When Lamar has 20 picks by week nine, and we're like, remember when we thought

the Ravens were a lock? How dare you? Are you on my side or no? I am on your side. Are you? I'm just teasing you. I'm on your side. I am 100% on the Lamar side.

We're all going to be on the right side of history with Lamar. Kyle, do you believe him? Kyle was here when I wanted the Pats to draft him. All right.

I just want to say one more thing because we're going to talk about this game with the House of Million Dollar Picks. The Lions stayed at two and a half all week. Yeah. I thought for sure it was going to be three. Okay. I thought it would move to three. It never moved. It's two and a half, which means Vegas thinks the Saints are better than

the Rams because you get three points at home. Right. Now, the Saints indoors, outdoors has always been a thing. If you told me the line was going to be a half point off a three, I would have guessed Rams three and a half, not Saints, not Rams two and a half. Right. And I don't really understand this. I actually feel like people might be still sleeping on the Rams, but we'll get to them when we do the picks.

I think people have just assumed they're just not last year's team anymore, and I actually disagree. So, talk about that later. It's hard to get excited about Jared Goff. It's just hard to get excited about Jared Goff. It's easy to get excited about Aaron Donald. I don't want to blaspheme the Saints fans here,

but were they like super fired up for Drew Brees on that Monday night game? Okay, so that is... I thought he had 10 terrible throws in that game. But that's the other thing. That is the... He looked old to me in that game. That's the last point that's probably worth making.

The way that that game ended, regardless of everything that led up to it, the Texans game, this thrilling, rejuvenating kind of victory. Then you head into this game that you're talking up as this revenge game. If they can win this game, they start not only 2-0,

but these two kind of narrative building surge games. Breeze, you start to ask, how much longer can he play? Is this it? Are we going to be able to send him off with a championship? And then you have to start asking, is this going to shape up to be like a really special season for the Saints?

Especially, I agree with you about not looking in the past, but that is part of sports. That chip on your shoulder from the one that you felt, not that you let get away. Can I bring a Boston team into this? That someone else robbed you of. Red Sox boon home run? Grady Little?

There you go. I have one last Saints point and then we'll get to G. Okay. There's a world in which Kamara, we come out of this season and we're like, that's the best offensive player in the league. Yeah.

He's unbelievable to watch. He's unbelievable to watch. It seems like they have just turned him up a notch, which was the big talk during fantasy in July and August. It's like, Ingram's gone.

Are they going to turn him up a notch? Is there going to be a lot of Latavius Murray? What's the volume going to be? But I feel like, I feel like they were in third or fourth gear with him these first two years trying to make sure

he didn't have too much of a wear and tear this year it seems like they're in fifth gear with him yeah he just doesn't move like other people move you know when he

is out in the open field he can do absolutely anything and when he isn't it kind of doesn't matter because you know he's going to be able to get into the open field because he can make every single defender miss he's like

as strong as a boulder but if a boulder had the most expensive running shoes and also the fastest 40 time like it's just absolutely mesmerizing to watch I thought that McCaffrey was the better fantasy pick

heading into this season, just strictly because of how high his floor is, because the volume, because of the carries and the receptions that you know he's going to get. And Kamara is more big play dependent. But when you watch Kamara for literally one play, you have that,

why would I ever want to watch anybody else instead of him response? And there are only a handful of players who give you that Saquon I have them 1A, 1B as you know

I think Saquon is the best football player of all time but wait what about Nick Chubb Nick Chubb had third but

I think Kamara's just in a better offense because poor Saquon's by himself like he broke a 59 yarder in that Cowboys game and it's like, oh man, here we go.

And then the Cowboys just look around and go, all right, that's not happening again. And they just take him out. Kamara is pretty hard to take out in that

offense. You're a conspiracy guy. Yeah. You heard any conspiracy thoughts about Golden Tate intentionally failing his PED test so he didn't have to play

for this Giants team? What do you think? Like he actually just took PED. He went to the intentionally failing his PED test so he didn't have to play for this Giants team? What do you think? Like he actually just took PEDs. He went to the store and bought PEDs. Just kidding. Number one on Mallory's most intriguing is... The Mississippi mustache. Gardner Flint Minshew II.

And folks, there's no Gardner Minshew I. His name is just the second. What? What a fucking icon. It's true. His name's the second, but there's no first? Oh my God. There's so many incredible stories about him on the internet this week.

Including from Roger Sherman. Yeah. Someone in his family, his grandfather, I believe, won his name in Beowulf. It's just, it's amazing. It's a very rich family text. Now. I will say he came into that game last week.

We talked about it on the podcast on Sunday. And we're like, who's that? We look it up. It says G Minshew in the thing. So we start calling him that online. And then he's just completing passes. Yes. And the passes that weren't complete were dropped.

All three. He never threw a bad pass in the whole game. All three of the incompletions were dropped. He threw a no-hitter when he came in. Cold. So, I do want to say, record as a caveat, the Nick Foles injury is legitimately sad.

That sucked. That's a bummer. It's impossible not to celebrate and fall in love with the Gardner-Minshew story, but it came at the expense of Nick Foles. We lost him in the first quarter. Every one all offseason. I don't feel sad.

Because he has a huge penis? He took a Super Bowl from me. I see. Okay. I don't feel happy. I don't feel sad. Broken collarbone? I just feel dead inside that we didn't win that Super Bowl. I think you have enough. Not sure if you or anyone else has ever mentioned this, but you have six, so you're fine. It would have been seven. You're fine. I think you have enough. Not sure if you or anyone else has ever mentioned this,

but you have six, so you're fine. It would have been seven. You're fine. I think you're fine with six. Quarterbacks get hurt. You're so greedy. It's unbelievable.

It's unbecoming. No, I did. I feel bad because it was kind of like finally Nick Foles has his team and he loses a quarter. It's over. For him,

he's got the big contract. He's got the moment, the team. He's going to start. It him, he's got the big contract. He's got the moment, the team. He's going to start. It's going to be his time to shine. From the Jaguar fan perspective, it's just not Blake Bortles, which is the only thing that matters to anyone, right?

They just wanted somebody cool again. And now they have Gene Minchu. Well, that's true. They do. So who is the Mississippi mustache? Yeah. 23 years old. Sixth round draft pick out of Washington State.

Part of the Mike Leach air raid tree. He is a fascinating person and player. He had a really interesting career arc to this point. Very quickly for anyone who's not aware, he started at Northwest Mississippi Community College. Okay. Then, so he was not a touted recruit. And was in Last Chance U.

Then he goes to East Carolina. Okay. Then graduate transfer, going to use his last year of eligibility somewhere. Where's it going to be? Well, guess where he almost went? Alabama. Yeah.

Almost wound up at Alabama. And he knew that he was going to be behind Tua and at that time, Jalen. He knew he wasn't going to play, but he wanted to be, he was basically at the moment where he said, and this is many, many people have written about this. Many people are saying that he wanted to be a coach. He's like, I'm not going to be an NFL player. I'm going to be a coach. I want to learn from Nick Saban. What an incredible experience that will be. He's like, he's the most cowardly person I can learn from. Nick Saban. Don't do this. The guy who won't go back to the NFL.

This is just, of all your indefensible bits, this is the worst one. Come back to the NFL, Nick Saban. What are you afraid of? Why? Why are you scared? He's not scared of anything. He's going to be the,

he's going to have the most championships of any coach in college football history. Great. He's tied Bear Bryant. Cool. He's literally the, at the pinnacle of achievement in his profession. He is the best of all time.

He's the best coach of anyone in a sport that just exploits student athletes and doesn't pay them. Great. Congrats. And nothing, nothing untoward or foul happens in the NFL ever. A pr. Yes. Great. Congrats. And nothing, nothing untoward or foul happens in the NFL ever.

A pristine league. Look at it. He couldn't handle the hottest kitchen, so he went to a nice, nice little semi-hot kitchen in college, college football.

Good friends with Belichick. Maybe Belichick didn't want him to come to the NFL. Steve Spurrier was like a joke on the Redskins and then went back to college and was fine again because college football, it's like, do you even have to work 40 hours a week in college football? Look at Chip

Kelly. Everyone thought Chip Kelly was going to be the Steve Spurrier thing. Right. That's not happening. Nick Saban going to Alabama. Nick, first of all, man, it makes me mad when you do this. Nick Saban had won a championship at LSU. Okay. He had won a championship before the Dolphins tenure. It wasn't for him. When he talks about his Browns tenure. Was it for him because it was a harder level? Oh my God. Was it for him because he needed to go easier?

Can I make one more point here? Does he? It is not easy to consistently win at Alabama. That is one of the great misconceptions in the world. When he took over, Alabama was in a huge rut. What he's done there is literally historic. Great. Yeah, it is great.

That's what I'm saying. Great. He ran from Bill Belichick. So anyway, Gene Minshew. So he's going to go to Alabama and then he gets a call from Mike Leach. Do you want to leave the nation in passing? This is the Leach pitch goes to Washington state. And that's exactly what happens.

He finished fifth in Heisman voting, set all kinds of passing marks. And he ends up as, you know, a middling prospect. I don't think anybody thought that he was going to be a pro. Certainly this year, except one of the interesting narratives

that had developed around him was that he's basically Baker Mayfield light. And a lot of that is just their build. You know, they're the exact same height and size. Some of that comes from the swagger, which obviously, like, they both have these really palpable personas. And some of it is the style of play.

You know, we, and thank fucking God, because this was exhausting for a really long time as a college football fan, we have moved out of the era of doubting whether these quarterbacks who play in spread offenses, who come from aerated schemes, can play in the NFL. Those are guys that NFL teams want now. Those are guys NFL teams want to build around now. So does Gardner Minshew have the strongest arm? No, but guess what he does have because he played in an air raid offense and has been trained to tailor his game to this kind of execution.

Incredibly accurate thrower. And quick passes and quick reads. He moves through his progression so fast. So you like the Jags minus, plus nine. Jags are plus nine against the Texans this week.

The Texans feel like a mess right now. I mean, I love Deshaun. I think Hopkins is good. Tunsil gave up three sacks. He, okay, so yes, but I don't know if that, no, yes, but because he's thrown into that team.

Learning the playbook. I get it. And also he's basically playing five offensive line positions at once because that's how bad the rest of that line is. Watson got the shit kicked out of him that game. Yes. I think Jags plus nine, we'll be talking about a million dollar picks. Can I ask you a question about G?

Yeah. Incredible mustache. Just incredible. So this has been a big year for you with men you've had a crush on. I don't have a crush on the Mississippi mustache. I would like to state that for the record. But I do feel like if Tyler from The Bachelor hadn't come into your life a few months ago, you'd be more excited about G in that respect.

But it's almost like you become a monogamous crush person just because of Tyler. Like you have no other crushes now. It's like Tyler 100% of the time. Kyle, can you turn the air conditioning on? I'm very fond of Tyler. It's true. I do have a lot of affection for him and I'm I'm very invested in him if they added him to the Monday Night Football crew would you would you be able to watch it?

I mean yeah I have a proven track record of being able to watch many hours of Tyler on my television every week you know that's true yeah with great aplomb I think

that would be an amazing move by them can you imagine they added Tyler and the ratings went up 20% yes I can I can imagine it I'm thinking about it right now and it seems great Can you imagine if they added Tyler and the ratings went up 20%? Yes, I can. I can imagine it. I'm thinking about it right now and it seems great. It seems great.

I wonder what Tyler would have to say about the Mississippi mustache's stretching routine. Do you know about this? That he stretches either in sunglasses, a headband, and a jockstrap or in the nude. That's his stretching routine. In the nude? Yeah. There are all of these incredible anecdotes about him out in the world.

There's a good athletic piece from his Washington State season. There's 16 stories about this guy walking around with bottles of Crown Royale in the waistband of his jeans on campus. He's just an icon. So he's like a, he can be Ken Stabler-ish a little bit.

Yeah, like fans want to rally around a player like that. Whether he can sustain success in the NFL, who knows? But it's so fun. And it's exactly the salve you need after losing somebody like Nick Foles. And it's really one of the only kinds of things that can make the Jaguars interesting to anyone but Jacksonville fans. I mean, the first game for them was such a debacle other than Minshew. The Miles Jack ejection was so weird.

He's apologizing to the city. He was like staggering off the field. Like he was like intoxicated. Well, he was angry. I know. He was mad. You know, you have...

That was tough though because you play the Chiefs week one. Yes. And there's just guys open all over the field every play. I know.

And then Mahomes throwing from nine angles and it's like, that's not... That's a tough way to start. I don't know if the Jags are good. That was. And then Mahomes throwing from nine angles. And it's like, that's not... That's a tough way to start. I don't know if the Jags are good. That was not where you want to go in week one. Yeah.

We have to go because this was... We said 25 minutes. It was 45. Here we are. We have to talk about succession. Let's do it. All right, we're bringing House in. But before we do that,

I'm teaming up with FanDuel to give you a chance to play fantasy football against me, Cousin Sal, and the degenerate Trifecta. The best part, the winner gets to fly out to Puerto Rico to be our official correspondent

for FanDuel's World Fantasy Football Championship Live Finals. All expenses paid trip. Enjoy four days worth of WFFC events in Puerto Rico. Get to be part of

all the action. Go to FanDuel.com slash ringer to enter and draft your We two fantasy team before the games kick off on Sunday. I don't want you to steal my lineup. I'm just giving you two guys that are definitely on this week's team.

One is Jacobs on the Raiders because he's only 6,500. The other is Marlon Mack. He's 7,400. I'm in with those guys for 13.9. I'm good to go. I feel good. This is going to be a big week for me,

Fantasy West. I'm excited. Remember, you can play against me, Sal, and the Trifecta in the Ringer Listener League on FanDuel.

It doesn't matter if you missed last week. You can still take home the top prize. Go to fanduel.com slash ringer to enter now.

Again, fanduel.com slash ringer. All right, let, fanduel.com slash ringer. All right, let's bring in House. All right, Joe House is here. We're going to do million dollar picks in a second. Wanted to talk about Team USA, which not only lost to France

and got knocked out of the medal round two days ago. Yes, early this morning, before I even woke up, they also lost to Serbia. And now it's looking like seventh place for team usa unbelievable we have almost all the good basketball players i really wasn't that disappointed after the realization that uh and this occurred i don't know six weeks ago two months ago we weren't going to have a single headline nba star participate in in on, on team USA's behalf. I mean, it is, uh, the case that Donovan Mitchell was our, our best, uh, talent and Jason Tatum was a close second and

neither one of them could get hurt. And then Jason Tatum got hurt and then we lost and that's it. Like if this is, uh, one of your guys, Charks or Zach Cram wrote this. Uh, this is the least talented team USA in modern basketball history. So my, uh, hopes and expectations were not high. So we were looking at this, trying to figure out, we, we weren't too optimistic about team USA. They were, I think minus 700 favorites at one point. It dropped to maybe minus 300 by the time the tournament started. And I was going through all the rostersters trying to figure out who could beat them. And other than Serbia, I really didn't feel good about any of these teams. And then you actually start watching the tournament

and it's like, oh, Barbosa and Verchow in Brazil, there they are. Oh, Australia, Ingles and Patty Mills and Aaron Baines, these guys have been playing together forever. France, Fournier, Gobert. And it was the chemistry and the camaraderie made such a difference compared to the team that we put together where you're just basically throwing together a team of either all-stars or maybe possibly down the road all-stars and role players.

That was one thing. The other thing is just not having AlphaDog. I was talking to a friend of mine about if just James Harden had been on this team. He just kept everybody else, just had James Harden in there instead of Kemba Walker. We'd probably roll through everybody. It's just hard to win any of these tournaments.

We don't have that one guy. Even when we had Durant in 2010 or 11, and it was young Durant in Turkey, he was still the guy that took us home. You know, and that was what,ant in Turkey, he was still the guy that took us home, you know? And that was what, I just don't think Donovan Mitchell on the international stage is ready to be that guy yet. So those are my two takeaways. Well, it's not that big a deal. He's, he's super young Donovan Mitchell. I mean, this was terrific grooming. He got to be the alpha dog. I mean, I'm, I'm, I really like Utah now now based on on watching him and go bear

both in this tournament i mean you know i'm gonna take another look at their uh over under right now i'm feeling pretty pretty strong about the under plus bogdanovich holy cow boy i went out and and and shot the lights out today no this was bogdan that was bogdan oh it was the other one yeah you got your bogdan Boyan mixed up. God damn it. This is what we talked about on this pod before about, I still feel like international basketball matters. I still think it was really good for,

Mitchell had 29 and was excellent for the first three quarters of the France game. And then the last quarter, everything falls apart. They only scored 13 points in the fourth. And it was a combo of, I didn't love the way the team was coached. I don't love the concept of trying to play everybody. And if you watch these other teams,

it's like, just pick your best six guys and play them. I don't think that helped them. And I think that Tatum going down really hurt because he allowed them to play a small ball five with him at the center. Because really, you know, if you do that against France, now, now Gobert has to try to figure out who he's, he's defending all that stuff. But I still wonder if you just put that one proven dude and it would have to be one of the best eight guys in the league that are American, right? And you put that dude in those games, like they, France outscored them 26 to 13

in the fourth quarter. It's just not happening if you have Harden or, you know, Anthony Davis or whoever. I would have liked Steph. I mean, it's selfish to want Steph, but I would have liked to see Steph. Or Steph, anybody. Just an A-plus lister.

And I think this is the rub with Kemba, right? He's a really good player. He's an all-star, but he's a level below the top level. He's even a level, talent-wise, below Kyrie. Now, he brings so much other stuff to the table. I'd rather have him for an entire season than Kyrie. But Kyrie is somebody that...

I'm glad you've... I'm glad you reached that conclusion since he's on your team this year. Yeah. But I'm saying Kyrie, if he was properly invested on a team like this, I don't know if he scored 13 points in the fourth quarter, you know? So that was, that would have been, you know, he, he, he had an opportunity opportunity if if it if it mattered if we can go down a very quick uh kairi hole here wouldn't that have been a cool way for him to re-establish himself uh on kind of the national basketball level because right now he feels a little villainy yeah i don't think he cares and i also think how it played out for team usa is one of the reasons why none of these guys want to do it.

The two big factors to me, I don't buy the whole get ready for the season bullshit because these guys are playing basketball anyway. I don't think they wanted to spend two weeks in China. I just don't. I think it's as far away from the United States as you can go, basically. And I don't think they wanted to do it. I think the time zone thing and just being away from your comfort zone and being in a weird country with different rules and all that stuff, they just look at that and are like, fuck that. Not to mention all the stuff even before the tournament. And then, you know, the downside of losing. This turned out to be bad for the guys on this team.

This was not a positive that they were on the team that finished in seventh place. Just like it wasn't a positive for Stefan Marbury and all those dudes in 04 when they fucking lost. It's bad. They don't want to look bad. I think it matters to them and the people around them. I do.

I don't think they want to look bad. I think they probably looked at how this played out and they look at it like man i dodged a bullet on that one that would have sucked you know i i guess i think we're going to move on and you know the upcoming nba season where seven teams have a legit chance to win we will all forget until the olympics come this happened. Well, but here's the problem. What do we do now with the Olympics? And what do we do with all of this stuff? And do we just need to rethink it completely?

And I think- No, no. What do you mean? I think we should have rethought it after 2016. I would do the soccer system and do under 23 and that's it. And I wouldn't use, I wouldn't rely on veterans. I wouldn't trust them. I would try to build,

you know, I would try to use it as a combo of putting young people in a position to succeed, having like a real system in place where you're developing players for a couple of years,

they graduate, the next guys come in and it's just kind of understood when you come in the league if you're somebody like Trey Young, like, yeah, this is part of what you're going to do or booker or whoever you're gonna be in this team for two three years and then you graduate and then the next group comes in i would love to see them

do that over whatever the fuck happened with the roster they put together this time just a bummer i like basketball we should never finish seventh. That's fucking ridiculous. I mean, I don't really care. But the point you're making about instantiating some kind of order where the expectations are set and the commitment is there. We're not going through this attrition game over the course of the summer of every four days another two guys declare themselves out. That's silly and that reflects a lack of of planning a lack of care in terms of of you know properly understanding that what these guys are are willing to do and you know what what the competing kind of considerations they have in front of them uh what they're going to choose. Because it felt self-evident as every single guy from the All-Star team and all NBA teams were like, we're out, we're out, we're out, we're out, we're out.

It was like, okay, what was plan B going to be? Yeah. Well, we need a plan B because we're in the Olympics in a year. And I don't know, should we care? Should we not care? But we're kind of in no man's land now. So I would rather go younger than rely on some of these older dudes. I wish Trey young had played.

Okay. They, Darren Fox Bagley, just the whole team of those dudes. That would have been more fun. Fox was on the team and then he wasn't, he was about to get on the flight to China. That's the big mystery for me from this whole thing

I think he ditched the team because they were giving more minutes to Derek White is my theory my conspiracy theory he left the team a day after playing six minutes in an exhibition game well I mean this all goes into the planning

well the big winner was Frankie Smokes of the whole thing It was his first great basketball moment. He made a clutch basket. Yeah. He played great defense. He hounded, he hounded Kemba full court and, uh, and he did a lot of stuff. All right, let's get to something you actually do care about. Million dollar picks. All right, let's do million dollar picks. But first I think we, I think we need to talk about Eminem's hazelnut. The best part of kicking back to watch the game is enjoying a spread of your favorite treats as you're winning all the bets

from my million dollar picks that I'm about to do. Take your game day treats to the next level with the new M&M's hazelnut spread chocolate candies guaranteed to deliver a delicious combo of hazelnut spread or milk chocolate in every bite-sized piece. M&M's hazelnut spread is going where no hazelnut spread or milk chocolate. In every bite-sized piece, M&M's hazelnut spread is going where no hazelnut spread has gone before,

right inside M&M's chocolate candies. If you love M&M's, and I know you do, and you love hazelnut spread, and you probably do, just wait until you try those together for the first time. Enjoy them on their own. Use them to dress up your favorite other treats.

As you know, I put M&M's on popcorn. Genius. It's one of my thing. I feel like I invented it. I have no proof, but I feel like I did. My daughter likes to bake them in cookies. She especially likes baking these hazelnut spread chocolate candies into cookies because she loves hazelnut.

So look, go hazelnutty. Try the new M&M's hazelnut Spread Chocolate Candies today, and you can celebrate and pour themselves on you after you win all of these million-dollar picks. All right, here we go. Last week, we almost swept million-dollar picks. All we needed was Joe Flacco not to turn into Joe Flacco on Monday night against a seemingly terrible Raiders team, laying three points.

We hit on the Rams minus two, and we hit on the Colts plus 6.5 for 500,000. Hit on the Pats minus five and a half for 100K. You talked me into that one. And the last piece was two separate Broncos bets. One was a parlay that they would have won. The other was Broncos minus three. The good news, I am up 180,000 after week one. That's a lot of

money house. So we're doing million dollar picks. That's what it is with the juice, 180? Even with the juice, 180, because the other one was a parlay. Great. Yeah. Terrific. I'm going to throw some games I'm looking at at you, and you can tell me one or two. Actually, why don't we start there? Why don't you tell me one or two that you're looking at

that you think I should be thinking about for Million Dollar Picks? So I think we need to start with kind of a big picture thing here. Last week, week one, we started with the idea we wanted to pay attention to the home dogs. And the good folks at Action Network picked up on you and the Cousin Sal talking about how much you like home dogs early in the season. And as a matter of fact, they went and showed us some stats. We got a 56% hit rate, 31 games by 500 since 2003 on home dogs through weeks one through four. So we only had five of those home dogs in week one,

and the home dogs went two and three. The only ones to come through were the Oakland Raiders and the Arizona Cardinals. And the Arizona Cardinals took something fairly extraordinary out of malpracticing Matt Patricia and the Detroit Lion coaching crew to permit. I mean, if that dummy offensive coordinator doesn't inadvertently call timeout on the successful third down play by Detroit, Detroit wins that game by eight points, and that's it. But in any event, the home dogs went 2-3.

This week, Bill Simmons, and this is overreaction week. It's a famous week on the NFL calendar, week two of the NFL season, overreaction week. We have eight home dogs. Half the slate is home dogs because Vegas loves the squares, taking a look at this entire slate and, you know, is setting figures for people to just take the taste they have in their mouths and try and pound teams like the Dallas Cowboys,

pound teams like the LA Chargers, pound teams like the Philadelphia Eagles. Well, let's go through all the home dogs. So we got Dolphins plus 19 against the Pats, Lions plus two and a half against the Chargers, Redskins plus six against the Cowboys, Raiders plus seven against the Chiefs, Broncos plus two and a half against the Bears,

Giants plus two against the Chiefs. Broncos, plus two and a half against the Bears. Giants, plus two against the Bills. Falcons, plus one against the Eagles. Everybody out on that Falcons team. And then the Jets, that moved to plus seven because of the Darnold thing against the Browns on Monday night. So yeah, half the slate, home dogs. So there is another angle to this that I want to sharp it up and share with you just for your consideration if you take the guys that were uh coming off of a home win it's a it's a smaller

set here so we're looking for road favorites in week week two who were at home last week and they won their game. And there's only three road favorites that fit that category. It's the Chargers, the Cowboys, and the Eagles. Since in the last 10 years, and we're only talking about this in the first month of the season, so this is a September stat because this is when the opportunity arises. Road favorites coming in off a home win are 14 and 40 against the spread oh 14 and 40 that is that's taking 56 and and and pushing it up into a percentage that feels a lot more like a winner yep i like it so here's what I'm looking at.

I'm just going to list the games that I actually do like. And we're taping this before the Panthers-Bucks game tonight. Colts-Titans. Colts are getting three against the Titans. Nephew Kyle and I watched that Titans-Browns game very carefully. It was a very strange game. It looked like the Browns were in control. Mariota was bad.

And then the game shifted on this long drive where the Browns kept getting penalties. The left tackle of the Browns got kicked out. The backup got hurt. The Titans started to get a little momentum. All of a sudden, Baker was running for his life. It looked like he got hurt. And then in the second half, the game got away from them. If you watch the first 15, 20 minutes of a sudden, Baker was running for his life. It looked like he got hurt. And then in the second half, the game got away from them.

If you watch the first 15, 20 minutes of that game, I actually was not impressed by the Titans. You weren't either, right Kyle? Never. Yeah. Whereas the Colts, I felt like that Colts-Chargers game was a playoff game last week. And I thought both of them have a chance to be

third or fourth best team in the AFC. The one thing that sucks for the Colts is Funchess got hurt. But they have a whole bunch of young receivers. I picked up Deion Kane in my auction league with Sal, actually, because I think he's going to be their number two guy. I thought he had a couple good moments in last week's game. But it's just a classic. I think the Colts can win the game.

But even if they don't, I think it's a field goal game. And I just don't believe in Mariota. I don't think he's good. I think once they had the lead, they can play differently. But he's one of those guys, if he doesn't have the lead, you're in trouble. And I think the Colts can come out. Marlon Mack was awesome last week. And I think people are starting to realize how good he is.

Incredible offensive line for the Colts. Titans, I don't think we'll be able to pressure him the same way they pressured Baker in his third string left tackle. And I just like the spot for them. I think they're better. And here's the best thing. It's a must win for the Colts because 0-2 is a disaster. So I'm looking at that.

What do you think of that game, House? I am strongly behind you on that. I thought the two, there were three games I enjoyed last week. The two best games that featured 100% playoff contenders felt like to me, St. Houston, Colts Chargers. And then I thought Carolina was pretty good against the Rams, and the Rams and Carolina was another one that I felt like was pretty well-played game, competitive in terms of the quality of execution of game plan.

I like very much this Colts play that you're putting in place here. I feel like I don't mind giving the Titans a slight edge, you know, one, one and a half, but anything beyond that starts to feel very generous. I think the Colts really did a great job on both lines, both sides of the ball. The thing that the Colts can do in terms of establishing the run and protecting Jacoby because of how great their offensive line

is, what's going to change with the Titans? Hold this thought, House. Colts are also plus 155 to win the game outright. Okay. Sure. You mentioned the Rams. So everybody's talking about

this is a revenge game for the Saints. The Rams, the Panthers kind of hung around in that game and it ended up being a three-point game for the Rams. I didn't think the Panthers were as good as you thought they were, but to me it was more, the Rams had multiple chances to just put that game away. And specifically where it looked like they were just going for the game,

clinching touchdown. They ended up settling for a field goal. Greg Blake misses it. Now the Panthers come back. And then I think that game was closer than I think, or the game looked closer than it actually was. So now I look at this spot this week. I still believe in the Rams.

I think the Rams are one of the three or four best teams in the league. They're home. Saints are playing, you know, not in the dome. I didn't love the way the Saints looked last week. I thought that drive, that last drive to the Texans was embarrassing. I liked the three running backs for the Rams.

I like Brown. I like Henderson. Gurley, I thought looked pretty good last week for somebody who we keep hearing about his arthritis Cooper Cup huge and the most important

thing to me this is a prove-it game for Goff because you had Goff sucked in the Super Bowl and really wasn't that good last week considering there were

a lot of guys open and he just got this huge contract and I think they're going to really want to bang home that he's good in this game and I just got this huge contract. And I think they're going to really want to bang home that he's good in this game. And I just like the spot for them.

I think you can throw on the Saints. Even the Texans last week, they could barely protect Watts. He was getting the shit kicked out of them. But he was able to move around and make plays, and guys were open that whole game. I believe in the Rams. I think this line's too low. So that would be my second team.

What do you think? I like it very much. There was also a couple of sort of modern, modern vintage trends. The Rams have been legitimately great at home over the last couple of years. This version of the Rams in Los Angeles and the saints have, uh, for whatever reason, this like last handful of years, a really bad record in September, both straight up and against the spread. So with those two things as, as the overlay, I also feel like there's some value here

in the sense that, uh, you win the bet if the Rams win by a field goal. So I X out the revenge factor. I also agree with the idea that the Rams outdoors, especially with that, they have a genuine home field advantage in the sense of how they play. I don't know how the fans are. I don't know if it's a big turnout and everything, but they play well.

They play well at home. I like that pick. I'm with you. Two for two now. One other piece to that game. They're playing it at 125 Pacific. And as somebody who has watched his daughter play in a lot of soccer games around that time,

it's fucking brutal from like 11 to 3, especially in September, when the weather kind of ratchets up for a couple weeks. It's going to be like 90 degrees on Sunday. And I think that's going to affect the Saints more than the Rams for a couple reasons. One, Saints played most of their games indoors. The outdoor thing, the Rose Bowl is just hot.

There's no shade anywhere. It's just that you're just baking on the field. It's like a frying pan. And I also think the Rams are in better position with their receivers. The one thing that jumped out at me in the Saints-Texans game is the other receivers who aren't Michael Thomas

and Kamara, where it's like a lot of those Ted Ginn type guys. I don't totally trust if they have to go forward or if Michael Thomas gets cramps. I don't really trust 40-year-old Breeze either. So I think that's a factor as well. All right, so we'll mark those down. Here's the third one. This one's going to surprise you.

Kyle and I watched a lot of that Seahawks-Bengals game last week. Okay. And I had the Seahawks in a parlay, which I eventually lost, and was getting very frustrated by that game because watching, you're like, ah, the Seahawks aren't playing well. This sucks. This is so frustrating. God, oh man, I can't believe I bet on them. And the reality is the Bengals played well in that game. And I actually went, I did a lot of research for this game specifically

and I read all the Bengals stuff on different websites. I think that Zach Taylor might be good. I think we might have missed the boat on them as like a little bit being a little bit sleepery because they didn't have AJ Green in that game. It didn't matter.

They threw the ball, I think, 56 times. They probably could have won. And Seattle ended up getting a huge play to lock it at the end. And then, you know, even to the bitter end, the Bengals were in there and fighting. And I think they looked at that game. It was like, that's actually was like a good loss for us. We're playing Seattle. Seattle actually might be good. And Cincinnati made it seem like they weren't that good. So I mentioned that because the Bengals are only favored by two against the 49ers this week. The 49ers played the Bucs last week. The Bucs have

just an abysmal offensive line. I really regret thinking that they could be the NFC South sleeper. I hate that division, they are not going to be the sleeper. Jameis threw two picks. They are not the answer. They are not the answer. But, I was

kind of shocked by how bad the Niners were too. And Kyle loves Jimmy G. Jimmy G threw just a horrific pick six. They had dumb penalties, and it was like Tampa's just dying to give them the game, and they're not taking it. I don't think the Niners are good either. So I look at the Cincy game.

Cincy's home. I think there's a little bit of energy post-Marvin Lewis with them. And I just think the line's too low. I think those teams are either even, or maybe the Bengals are even a little bit better. And the line is only Bengals by two. And if you read all the, all the, uh, all the stuff going on in Cincinnati, people are actually, they kind of like this team. And I think this team thinks it might be pretty, pretty good. Maybe not 11 and five, but a team that's going to battle every week. So Bengals minus two.

I like that one. What do you think? I'm there with you. I can't believe we're kind of three for three. It's a hard slate because of all the home dogs. But I like what I saw out of Cincinnati as well. That Andy Dalton passing performance was like the diametric opposite of, of Joe Flacco.

Yeah. Just to compare to sort of older guys, like, you know, what do they have left in the tank? Flacco had, had, had nothing left in the tank.

He had Kendall Roy's poopy bed sheets in the tank. And, and Andy Dalton was out there. The red rifle was out there tossing the rock. I mean, he had his all-time most yards as a professional last week against Seattle. It was pretty impressive. And they're basically running the same Rams offense.

So that guy, John Ross, it's his third season, is effectively in the Brandon Cooks, Robert Woods kind of frisky speed guy spot. And he was really good. And I don't know. I thought that was a good game for them. It was, as weird as it sounds, a good loss. So I'm marking them down.

So that made me think with the Seahawks. Normally, I would say off-stealers. The classic, they look terrible when we come back home, take care of business. But what if the Seahawks are better than we think they are? Because the Bengals made it seem like they weren't that good, but actually they are good. And it was just the Bengals are just better than we thought. Because this always happens in week two, week three, we overreact partly because we think the result happened because a team was either worse than we thought or better than we thought.

And in this case, the Seahawks now are four against the Steelers. I'm just asking, did the, what did the Steelers show you last week that they're a good playoff team, that they're a potential playoff team? I know they, I know it was a shit sandwich for them, but did you come away from that game thinking anything positive about anything with them? No, but the problem is I think we have to be careful with that because they were so thoroughly out-prepared, out-coached. They don't have an answer for Antonio Brown. They could have really used Antonio Brown this week. We have guys not making plays at skill positions where they, we've grown so accustomed to Le'Veon Bell and Antonio Brown bailing out the

Steelers in crucial moments. They couldn't, they couldn't get a third. They, they, they couldn't advance on, on third down. I don't know what the number ended up being,

but how many third downs did they turn into first downs? It was a very, very, very small number. This is my point, though. They don't have those guys anymore. Moncrief is the most vilified stealer all week. He was just terrible in that game. And I think he actually might be hurt this week. And everybody was hoping James Washington would emerge as this guy,

but who knows? He might not. And then Schuster, who I think was an overqualified number two, it remains to be seen if he can be the Michael Thomas Hopkins type of guy on this team. They just don't have the same threats. And, you know, they'll probably regroup and try to pound the ball with Connor. Connor did nothing last week.

But on that side of the ball, I just don't think they're as explosive. And then on the defensive side of the ball, I don't, I just don't think they're as explosive. And then on the defensive side of the ball, they got torched. They, they, I mean, Brady didn't even really play well. The first 20 minutes of the game,

he was missing guys that were open. They had guys open that whole game. And the only guy who didn't play well on the whole team was Sony Michelle. Other than that, they did whatever they want. So I'm probably staying away. I just wanted to mention that if you think the Bengals are better than we thought, then that would also mean the Seahawks are better than we thought.

And maybe there's a way to parlay those two together and just be like, this is the one result from last week we're betting on for week two, that these teams are better than people think. Last one. Okay. Last one. You. Last one. You're going to laugh. I think the Jags-Texans line is like three points too high.

The Jags are getting nine. I'm not going to laugh. They're getting nine points in Houston. They got embarrassed last week against the Chiefs. Now, their quarterback broke his clavicle in the first half. That was depressing.

The game was hot. It was a hot game, and these Chiefs dudesavicle in the first half. That was depressing. The game was hot. It was a hot game, and these Chiefs dudes are running all around the field. I didn't think that game would—I'd throw that game out. I didn't learn anything from that game. Except G. Minchu, who we just talked about with Mallory, was lights out. He made every throw. We didn't understand what was going on. We didn't know where he came from. But compare that to what we saw in the Texans game where Watson just got the

crap kicked out of him. I don't think they really had the same pass rush that they used to have. That's for sure. And I don't trust the coach that much either. And it just kind of has all the makings. People are just like, oh yeah, we'll throw the Texans into a parlay or tease or whatever. Now it'll be great. They'll get back on the horse and the Jaguars are done. It's like, I just think there's value here. I think the line should be like six or six and a half

and the line is nine for some reason. What do you think? I like it i like i agree with the idea that anything over a touchdown um feels like value this is an over compensation by uh the public in response to the fact that you know the public love big dick nick as as did i i mean as did both of us uh and and you, it feels extremely deflating. It's at least a two to two and a half point Vegas swing to accommodate brother Minshew on the heels of Foles. And I think that's the entirety of it.

But I agree. I don't think these two teams, like on sort of a, if you did a power ranking basis, I don't think they're very far apart in terms of you know, if they're I think they're both kind of like in that 13-12 to sort of 16 range. The Jaguars and

Houston at this stage of the season. And I think anything over a touchdown starts to feel like a little bit of value and a little bit of, you know, just a regular Vegas compensation for the starting quarterback going out. If you parlayed the Jaguars to beat the Texans and the Colts to be the Titans, what do you think the odds would be for that?

They're going to be great. It's like five to one, six to one. What if I told you it's almost 11 to one? I didn't look at the money line for the, uh, oh, that's right. At nine points, right. It's plus 360 for the Jags. Yeah, of course. Of course. Of course. Plus 360 for the Jags plus one 55 for the Colts plus 10 73, but a hundred bucks on that. Or I'm sorry, you put $100,000 on that and you win $1,073,000. I'm not going to talk you out of it. What I'll say is I like a tease better. I just like the, you know, a tease feels like the right way to put those two lined up. What about a little 50K flyer? Sure. 50K flyer. I love it. That still gets you $550,000. Yeah.

That's pretty good. That's pretty good. So, all right. So we're honing in on Rams minus two and a half over the Saints. Bengals minus two over the 49ers. Colts plus three over the Titans. And then maybe a little bit less on Jags plus nine on the Texans with the

parlay as well. How's that sound to you? I like that. That's a good menu. We have a little money to play with. We won last week. Right. So maybe I have a,

I feel strongly about like the three, just straight up playing the number. I, I really like the Rams. I really like the Bengals. Uh, what's the other one? And I like that the Jags getting the nine.

Right. So maybe, maybe we go 300 on the Bengals, 300,000 on the Bengals, 300,000 on the Bengals, 300,000 on the Rams, 200 on the Colts, 150 on the Jags plus nine, and then 50K on the Jags Colts Parlay. How's that sound? The only recommendation I would have

is to put the 150 on the Colts. But let's go ahead. I like the Colts. I think they're better. Okay. So here's where we're settling. Here are the million dollar picks for week two. Rams minus two and a half over the Saints, 300K.

Bengals, minus 2 over the 49ers, 300K. Colts football Colts plus three over the Titans 250k oh

oh wow how about it we're up to 850 already I know um Jaguars plus nine over the Texans 100K.

And then Jags Colts to win the parlay. Moneyline parlay plus 50K to win at plus 1073. So that would be 50K to win about

$535,000, something like that. Does that sound good to you for week two? Like a lot of, that's a lot of money. That's a nice menu. I think we did it. This was a hard slate with all kinds of stay aways and overreactions. I think we've come up with a nice little menu here. Well done. I really enjoyed it. All right. We're going to take a break and then we're going to bring Mally Rubin in to talk about Succession. All right, we're going to take a break and then we're going to bring Mally Rubin in to talk about succession. All right, we're going to talk succession. But first, let's talk about Roman. Not Roman from succession, but Roman.

Let's face it, guys are terrible at taking care of their health. Studies show 70% of guys who experience erectile dysfunction don't get treated for it. Not good. ED is like a check engine light for a man's body. It can be an indicator

that something more serious is going on, like a heart issue or diabetes. Thankfully, Roman has created an easy, discreet way to get checked out by a doctor and get treated for ED online. It's a one-stop shop. Licensed U.S. physicians can diagnose your ED, then ship meds right from their pharmacy to your door. You don't have to wait in waiting rooms,

deal with any awkward face-to-face conversations, uncomfortable trips to the pharmacy, none of that. Just visit getroman.com slash bill. Fill out a brief questionnaire, chat with a doctor, get real FDA-approved medication, if recommended by your doctor. It's all prescribed online, delivered straight to your door

in discreet, unmarked packaging. Guys, go talk to the doctor. ED is a problem guys don't want to tackle, but it's really important. Now with Roman, it's really easy to take care of it. For a free online visit, go to getroman.com slash bill. Now let's talk about the other Roman. Mally Rubin is back.

Joe House still on the line. Let's go, Succession. All right, Mally Rubin is back. House still on the line. of us love succession if you haven't caught up on the season or watch yet feel free to turn off the rest of the podcast there will be spoilers I think this is I agree with fantasy

fantasy said this is the best best show since Mad Men best new show when a game of thrones game of thrones started but before Mad Men and Men. Best new show. When a Game of Thrones, Game of Thrones started before Mad Men ended. So best, best new show in that Mad Men breaking bad character kind of way. And we all love it. I think for the same reasons and for different reasons.

House, what's your favorite thing about this show? Honestly, it's the sharpness of it. I find myself, and this could be attributable to my old age um watching segments stopping them i'm watching everything after it airs sunday night so i'm not sitting down and watching it as appointment television it's personal appointment television for me because i'm watching it alone and I'm watching it alone

because I want to be able to stop after certain scenes and re-watch what I think I just heard. I'm also giving audible reactions to things as they occur. In fact, I had an audible reaction both times that I watched the Shiv at the dinner table scene. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So my favorite thing is I have like six characters that I love on this show. Yeah. Usually you have a show and you're like, you know, like Mad Men. I didn't have six favorite Mad Men characters. I loved Roger.

I loved Don Draper. Liked Peggy. There were a couple of side characters. Every Christina Hendricks scene was great, obviously. But this show, it's like, I don't even know who my favorite character is. And you have a guy like Alan Ruck. Connor.

Connor, who was prominently featured two episodes ago and crushes it with the most funeral. And then in this last episode on Sunday night, night is barely in it but when he's in it he still is his PR is still outstanding

incredible yeah they just have a way of not relying on characters but still keeping them completely fresh and perfect

and I think that's what I like the most Mallory what do you like the most? yeah the writing and the the sense of who the characters are. It is a pretty remarkable achievement to craft a show around a lot of deeply, deeply unlikable people and still have to create an experience

where viewers are rooting for them and are actually invested in them. And it is also this incredible balancing act of tone and emotion yeah it is hysterical it is definitely one of the funniest shows on tv i would i would throw in atlanta and fleabag and a couple other shows obviously this is a pro billions podcast and company as other shows that have been very meaningful in recent years but But Succession. Yeah, I was more talking about like the, you could watch every show three times and analyze every single thing that happens in a type of show. So that's exactly what I was just going to say next. There's like a novel-like quality to it.

Yeah. Where you really want to return to it and study the text. But it's also just so purely pleasurable to watch it. It's so fun. And it's also so deeply tragic. And there is actually something Shakespearean about it. You know, it's kind of funny when you're reading stuff heading into season one of a show and all of the actors are like, well, you know, it's the modern day King Lear. And it's like, all right, come on. But it kind of is. It actually kind of is. They're pulling that off and it's like alright come on but it kind of is it actually kind of is they're pulling that off and it's incredible

you know the other thing that I was thinking about we could take the succession music and put it behind anything and it would sound

15 times more profound and intense oh the score is incredible like we could do it right now on this podcast and whatever House says next

it'll sound so much more potent yeah when the piano keys kick in it's just I don't get tired of it I haven't gotten tired of it at all on this podcast and whatever House says next, it'll sound so much more potent. Yeah. When the piano keys kick in. I don't get tired of it. I haven't gotten tired of it at all. And it's just perfect for the actual show.

I love the beat. Yeah. I love the beat. The beat gets me. So I also judge these things by House and I who have known each other forever and have been texting

really for the last, what, 20 years, right, House? When did we start texting? When did we have texting? Whenever I got a cell phone that permitted it, yeah. And if a show has enough quirks where we're texting each other, and it's something like House texting about Kendall's poop bed, this show every week has something like Kendall's poop bed

where we can then make jokes about it for the next four days. And the Jets are now lying in Kendall's poop bed where we can then make jokes about it for the next four days. And you know, the jets are now lying in Kendall's poop bed. And I just, it's, it's, the show is a water fountain of, of jokes like that house. It's,

it's more than a water fountain. It's a fire hydrant. I mean, you could just take, if you, if you transcribed all of Kieran McCauley, McCaul and all of Roman Roy's dialogue from the beginning to the end.

It's like a half-hour comedy read. It's spectacular. This is the sharpness that I'm talking about. The moment from the, you know, Kendall literally shitting the bed as the family was metaphorically shitting the bed was obviously a perfect television moment. But for me, that moment,

it's the line from this episode that I was texting to everybody. The morgue is closed is just an all-timer. That is an all-timer. Well then, so when the shit in the bed. You're meant to be dead. I'm rewinding and slow-moing to see if it's Kendall's shit or if it was the sex partner. Because it was unclear. It was her side of the bed. But's Kendall shit or if it was the sex partner because it was unclear

was her side of the bed but then it was clear that it was actually no Kendall on his Kendall got incredibly high on cocaine and shit himself in a stranger I was hoping when I first saw him encountering a substance that it was like a bloody

nose thing like the very first reaction I had was please let that like a bloody nose thing. Like the very first reaction I had was, please let that be a bloody nose. I, okay. So let that just be a different bodily fluid. Hold on a second. This is fascinating to me because I watched this with my husband and he also had a brief moment where he was like, what's happening here? I did not think this was ambiguous.

Kendall wakes up, by the way, alone in bed. There's no one with him. Well, cause she fled. Do you know that? Oh, I just assumed maybe they were hooking up and then they had sex. I don't think so. I don't know. I don't think so either. I don't think so. I don't know. I mean, I guess you could see the evening unfolding

numerous different ways, but I think the moment of shared understanding was achieved in the helicopter and that was the breakthrough that they needed to attempt to broker the deal. The next morning, Kendall's alone in bed. He wakes up, he sniffs the air. Then he looks around, pulls up the sheet,

the, the cover lifts his ass cheek. And under his ass cheek is a mound of human shit. It wasn't subtle. Should they have put that in the credits at the beginning where they put like brief nudity and violence human feces well there should be some additional uh thing like a parenthetical next to the brief nudity parenthetical brief nudity open parents shit close parents or hs at least i know that that i was slightly excited because nudity, open pair ends, shit, closed pair ends. Or HF.

At least I know that I was slightly excited because one of the interesting attributes of this terrific drama, it doesn't really show very much sex. And in fact, it uses sex in such a highly humiliating way. Yeah. Obviously, Roman being the best example of it. But across the board there really isn't any sexy time

like even Shiv who you and I have both kind of shared she's attractive, we like the character the type of sex she's having is not sex that's thrilling in any way, shape or form right? yeah, it's almost like she's scheduling business lunches. Well, sex on the show is like everything else on the show.

It's about the power dynamic. Yeah. Period, right? Right. And that's one of the things that's, again, so fascinating about the characters and about their relationships is those brief moments where you do feel

like you're finally glimpsing something genuine about them or about a connection that they either have with each other or really desperately seek with each other is pretty incredible. And that's what makes the Roman Jerry thing right now. So superb. And it's just hitting every single note because you are able to say, well, this is a manifestation of how vile Roman feels, how unvalued and unloved he feels in his own family. He feels worthless. And so he wants someone else to make him feel worthless too. Because he's an impotent nephrophiliac?

But then it's also just like, holy shit, is this happening? Is he really jerking off in Jerry's bedroom? Bathroom? En-suite bathroom? Actually, hold on. En-suite bathroom made me think I wanted to get back to the shit thing for a second if we can. Yeah, great. What was the cleanup process there, do you think? Because we know that Tabitha goes to use her electric toothbrush

as a vibrator in the en-suite bathroom in her room with Roman. And we know that Roman masturbates in the en-suite bathroom in Jerry's room. So we can assume that every bedroom in this beautiful estate has its own bathroom. So Kendall presumably has a private bathroom. You can kind of see a door off to the right

in a couple of the shots. When he gets up and he's rolling up these sheets, by the way, not paying nearly enough attention to where his hands are or what his hands are touching. I agree. Has he first gone to the bathroom to clean up himself and then returned to the bed? Is he going to take the sheets into the tub to rinse them off? Is he throwing the sheets out?

Is he hiding the evidence? What's he doing with them? Because there's a moment later when the whole family is walking and they pass one of the people who works on the estate and she's carrying like a batch of freshly laundered linens and she looks at him. Like she knows what he did. Oh, I didn't even notice that. Yeah, it's an incredible moment.

So is that because she found a bed without linens and is like, what happened here? Or did he actually leave his shit sheets? No, he balled them up and he put them in the garbage. What garbage though? In the bathroom garbage. But someone's going to find that. Well, he's out. He's on the helicopter at he put them in the garbage. What garbage though? In the bathroom garbage. But someone's going to find that and have to empty it.

Well, he's out. He's on the helicopter at that point. He's not. He's at breakfast. Well, but he's about to leave. Do you think he cares? No, he doesn't care. I think that he did the thing.

I agree with Bill. I think what he did was he balled them up. We watched him ball them up. He carried them. He found a wastebasket. Put them in the garbage. He put them in that wastebasket. You move on.

Destroy the evidence was well I wasn't even destroying it it's not even evidence it's just it has to go like that's where that's where shit sheets go they go in the garbage they don't go anywhere else and he didn't have any other option he's not very well informed on this also

last thing here no seepage through the sheets to the mattress we hear Tom elsewhere in the episode assassinate the character of the sheets. He says, low thread count. These are not high quality sheets. Oh, good point. That mattress is done. Let's ask the person most likely.

Most likely to shit in somebody's guest room. Nephew Kyle, you're staying at my house And you get super Super bombed Oh god And you wake up And you're covered In your own feces And you don't want us To find out

What do you do Is the mattress flippable Like is one side Of the mattress Great call Are you gonna notice Great call Do they have different textures

And the sheets are going In the garbage Outside of your house They're not gonna be In a fucking Garbage can Where somebody can find it Yeah but he

Look Nephew Kyle has a lot more at stake than kendall kendall one is but believes that he's you know a kind of royalty and so he behaves in in that civilized kind of royalty way which is just there's shit these sheets and they go away i think it's possible possible, I'm going to offer this observation, that the shit did not seep through to the mattress because of the character of the dinner. The dinner was a beautiful, glorious, looked like an eight rib prime rib roast. Yeah.

And if you take on that level of protein and don't have a lot of roughage accompanying it, I mean, there was spinach at the table and tom called everybody's attention that's right the king of the greens if if all ken had was half a slab of beef it could have been a pretty solid uh bowel movement could have been chunky lumpy he's not spending his whole evening eating bananas, rice, and bread. It's not a full binding diet. He also guzzled a bottle of vodka and did numerous lines of cocaine. Well, that's what helped it come out.

I'm just saying what was in there, the stuff that was in there. Some people, when they're backed up, do just have a lot of coffee. Other people just do amounts of cocaine. Mallory once described this show as the reason she loved it is because it's about shame and guilt. Yeah. Which I thought was a really good way to put it. It's, and what's funny is, first of all

The Ringer has always been in on this show since day one. I thought you were going to say The Ringer has always been about shame and guilt. Well, and The Ringer is about shame and guilt. But, you know it sets up the first season that you have this old guy, the old patriarch, who's breaking down and everybody's racing

to kind of take over. And I just assumed watching it, as the show got better and better and had the clear, episode four was when everybody kind of put the jigsaw puzzle together and we're like, oh, oh, wait a second. This is actually has a chance to be an all-time show. I thought he was going to die at the end of the year

or be in a hospital or whatever. One of the revelations in season two is he actually has his fastball back. And that's why this last episode was so great. He's manipulated Shiv. He manipulates the other family and then has the incredible scene with the president from 24 who runs the rival family.

Cherry Jones. Love her. And he's like, and she's like, here's what I should think about your offer. And he says, you don't have an offer. Yeah. This is my offer. Amazing. And this is what the offer is.

And he's just sizing her up. He changes his personality. Instead of being like the boisterous, fuck off and all that stuff, we see like this different side of how he negotiates where he's calculating the whole room. He sees Shiv having a heart attack as the lady's like, we want Shiv to run the company.

And he's like, that would be my decision. I'm not going to commit to that. So now she's been literally Shiv. And then just the way he handles the whole thing and him walking up the stairs. I thought that was one of the best episodes, not just of this show, but of the decade of any show.

It was fabulous. But the thing is, the thing about that is he, just like all of the other characters, even everything you just said is true, but he is not immune from the pitfalls that all of them fall into all the time. At the dinner table, he just wants Marcia to stop drinking

and to stop airing this clear displeasure that she has with how he's conducting himself. He can't get Shiv to not say what's on her mind. He tells Kendall, hey, maybe don't party this weekend. Roman is at the other end of the table. Bill, have you read Thomas Lipton's The Electric Circus?

What do you think of it? He can't think of a real book. Like, these are the people mortifying him around him. And he's actually not in control of the people who his entire life and identity is built around

thinking he can control fully. But that's ironically his flaw. Everyone on this show has some fatal flaw. His flaw is that his kids suck. And it was like, he could have all the money in the world, but if all of your kids suck and you can't figure out which person to turn

your company over because you don't trust any of them, that's your flaw. But it's not that they suck. I mean, they suck to him. One of my favorite moments from season one, when they're all at Connor's ranch, andall says he has that great that great fight with logan and he says to him you're so fucking jealous of your own

children because you gave us all these things that you never had and that is one of the defining things in his life is that he is a self-made man and his kids are all spoiled entitled assholes and he hates but he made them that way. That's an incredible dynamic. That's going to be me and Ben Simmons. Well, I thought the thing that made this episode, and I'm in that

camp of calling this episode the very best episode of the entire series thus far. I've seen the internet kind of debating that a little bit, but I'll go ahead into that hyperbolic camp. The reason I think it's the very best is because this was the most complete version of Logan we've seen in the entire show. He had to be a different Logan Roy. And I thought it was so I was sitting as it developed at the very beginning of the show that this was going to be them having to go to the Pierce's enclave and pitch.

I was so genuinely intrigued by the idea of seeing Logan in pitch mode, having to see Logan vulnerable for the first time. And how is he going to play this negotiation? That whole aspect of it just blew me away. I couldn't have enjoyed that more. Plus, House and I also had the same revelation as Roman goes to see Jerry. Jerry's wearing the PJs and she's in her 60s and it becomes apparent something's going to happen.

I got kind of fired up. I was like, take him off, Jerry. Let's go. And I'm like, whoa, what's wrong with me? I'm with you. That's not depraved enough for Roman. Roman needs, you know, something much worse. I fully, fully ship Roman and Jerry.

I love it. This delights me to no end. I really want to see them fuck. I really do. I'm sorry. I'm not. I'm not sorry, actually. And I don't care who knows it. And it's just this delightful ability

the show has to take all of the organic natural chemistry that's been building between the actors and the characters and turn it into an actual plot line. That's an incredible thing. When they did it an episode ago and it was like, they're on the phone and stuff starts and it's like,

all of us have the same revelation. It's like, oh oh shit is this gonna happen what's going on here and this show's had a lot of those but I thought this last episode was the best one my favorite is still The Bachelor Party Prague great one just so that was when

the show really announced just every week you're not gonna have any idea where this is going they also do a really good job of something that, this is a big fantasy thing. When you put a lot of characters in a place, when you have like a wedding or, you know, like a family retreat or a big bachelor party

where you put six, seven characters in a place where there's just a whole bunch of wildcard characters and you kind of don't know where it's going to go. They do this over and over again. I think it's smart. Yeah, because you're invested in them individually and in them as a unit, right? And you have moments like Shiv and Tom's wedding at the end of season one where when Logan walks in, he wasn't going to go. And, you know, to House's point earlier, really anytime Logan enters a situation, you're just utterly riveted.

Like, how are other people going to respond to him? And the description that we got was, he's like a planet. And that was just such a perfect encapsulation, not only of what his actual presence is, the force that he has, but just as crucially, how other people perceive him.

And every line from every character, every choice any of them make, it's always just as much about how the person across the room from them is feeling about it and what that person's thinking as what that actual person is doing. They all have their own agendas.

They all have their own aims, but they're also all invested in working toward the same thing together. So they're, they're allies, but they're enemies all at once. It's, it's great. House and I love Shiv just like as a character.

And you know, she's ultimately has to be the heroine of this family or they're not going to have one. And I'm not a hundred percent sure. House, do you think she has the chops? Uh, and I'm not 100% sure how do you think she has the chops we have to see what she's capable of in the rebound because it's it's a

really it feels nearly unovercomeable at the moment that mistake that she made and the violation that she committed with her dad I don't know she's being measured on the Roman Kendall scale that's the

thing and those two fuck up constantly I mean the way this is going the person who's gonna end up being in I don't know. She's being measured on the Roman Kendall scale. That's the thing. And those two fuck up constantly. I mean, the way this is going, the person who's going to end up being in charge is Greg. Excuse me. Gregory. Gregory.

Gregory. You Ichabod Crane, fuck you. Love him. So, I would guess how many, we have five episodes left.

My predictions, knowing nothing, I try to read nothing. I just enjoy the show. My guess would be Tom and Shiv. That's going to start veering south. Roman and Jerry is not going to end well. However that ends, it's not going to be a good thing. How dare you? It's not going to end well.

It's just not. And then Kendall, I would assume, would just keep bottoming out. to be a good thing. How dare you? It's not going to end well. It's just not. And then Kendall, I would assume, would just keep bottoming out. I mean, I don't know how you do worse than waking up

in a pile of your own shit and dumping it in the bathroom, but... Well, he did kill a person at the end of season one. So that was bad, too. I blame the guy. I mean, sure.

Some personal responsibility, but a lot of that's on Kendall. That's got to be part of it. No, that was... The back half of the season two Kendall arc, right? That has to come out. That somehow resurfaces

in some way. Yeah, it has to. Yeah. Maybe oppo research from the Pierce family? Perhaps. It's got to come out somehow. Oh, Pierce thing.

And how they can take the whole pierce media company dynamic thing right and try to mirror whatever is going on in real life will be fun that'll be interesting i guess stewie could be the one who uncovers what happened to kendall finally because they had that kind of like really harrowing moment in the basement of that fancy club or restaurant or wherever they were it It's like, how did he turn you? How did he get you back? Stewie knows that there is something specific that Logan has on Kendall, and he's

going to hunt for it. So that'll come out. You know, when this show came on, obviously, I'm team Koppelman and Levine, and I was like, well, fuck this show. This feels like a billions ripoff. I don't feel like those shows are remotely like each other.

They're not. I really don't. I don't think they overlap. The only real overlap was that Eric Bogosian was on Billions and then ended up popping on Succession too. But I think not only are they kind of complementary viewing to each other, but they have different goals. What do you think?

Totally agree with that. I go so far as to say they're radically different shows. Only in the most loose, general way where money is a driving animus. Would you say that they have stuff in common, but otherwise? Rich people being rich is the only thing where you're having incredible apartments and incredible mansions and helicopters and planes. But other than that, I don't feel like there's any overlap. I'm just excited because I wasn't positive there was going to be another show like this. I thought we were going to go more and more niche or more half hour and more experiments like Fleabag and things like that, or more short miniseries or one season of Big Little Lie and that's not being

able to even sustain that. This show could sustain for five, six seasons. This show might end up being a binge mode. It's conceivable. If they have an awesome second season, if they run this out and then they have one more awesome season and they have 30 episodes in the book with all the fucking Shakespearean shit going on here, that's like a perfect binge mode show. That would be fabulous. We're going to get to the season 10 finale and the camera's going to zoom in on a diaper. It's going to be full of shit.

You're going to pan out. You're going to see that it's Kendall's. And Iverson, his son, has grown up. He's changing his diaper, caring for his ailing father. Kendall's the old ailing one now. And Iverson is running Waystar Royco. Well, you know, the other thing, the other card they have for some season is Shiv getting pregnant. I don't see that happening.

I expected this season. I thought that was going to be the way. The monkey wrench? Yeah, well, I've always suspected and been suspicious of Logan telling her, okay, you're the one. That obvious, well, not obvious to, I shouldn't use the word obvious,

but pulling her away from that campaign and uncomplicating the political dynamic made a lot of sense for fending off the uh incursion by stewie et al he can't have her on the other side politics wise he needs to to pull everybody in so okay i'll wink at shiv and have her on our side and then i thought she was going to get pregnant outside of of the marriage because that's apparently the only real sex that she has. And that was going to be the thing that sabotaged it.

Do we think there's a chance... But she took care of it herself. Is there a possibility of Tom being gay at some point on the show? Because that's another card they have. Because they teased it with the bachelor party episode.

He does have the relationship with Greg is complicated there's something going on there that I feel like they have a card to play with I don't see that no? no I don't think so I mean I think there's something that obviously

about Tom and Shiv's relationship that is purely transactional and it's something. It's the whole relationship. What are you talking about? Well, 95% of it. I think that it's one of those things where even if that was what it started as, I think they actually have sincere affection for each other because

the fact that Tom is the only person Shiv can actually show that vulnerability to is a notable thing to me. She's not afraid to let him see her in that state. And he's also not afraid to let her see him beg. They're both their worst selves with each other, which is weirdly a really crucial part of marriage. So they might not have this like natural chemistry and a physical draw to each other. But I think, you know, I find myself thinking sometimes of a thing Kat Stark

said to Robb Stark when she was trying to convince him to honor his pledge to the fray girl, you know, about the nature of an arranged marriage. And in some essence, this is ultimately an arranged marriage, not in the standard way, of course. But it's like when the love builds over time instead of being the thing that you started with, she said, you know, it lasts longer. Like it's stronger. And I kind of wonder if we all thought for a while that Shiv and Tom were going to fall apart

and maybe like they're one of the stronger things here. But I don't know. Could go any number of ways. That's part of the charm. Maybe Roman and Jerry take it over. House, what was your single favorite moment on the show so far oh wow season and a half oh and the entire show the whole series yeah i i have i have it my own shakespeare quote

that i like that's what i like just take the fucking money that's that's my number one absolute favorite moment of the entire show so i think was my it encapsulates everything yeah that whole scene I think was my favorite scene in the show I still love Tom telling telling whoever after the bachelor party

about spitting the sperm in his mouth he was like it was hot swallowed my own load it was so hot that person's like what's going on

no it's a thing yeah it's a thing he just so desperately wants to be cool it was so that whole episode is so funny closed loop system Bill it didn't leave his body it's almost like. He just so desperately wants to be cool. It was so, that whole episode is so funny to me. Closed loop system, Bill.

It didn't leave his body. It's almost like he didn't cheat. I also, I thought, I thought Shiv consoling Kendall the fourth episode this season. That was really lovely. And Kendall just.

It's not going to be me. Just like, he, what an incredible actor. I thought he was the flaw of the show for the first couple episodes. They're all fabulous. Man, imagine this show if we had a real actor.

He's fucking awesome. They're all incredible. He's incredible. It's amazing. It's true. The challenge will be for these folks, and this is why I hope it goes six or eight seasons. I can't think of any of them being any other character now. Like, Kieran

Calkin is done. He's Roman now. I want him to be that guy for the next 50 years. Right. Yeah, I mean, weird Culkin power play. It's incredible. Macaulay, the biggest child actor of all time. And now somehow his brother is on a potential Hall of Fame show.

I do think this has a chance to be a Hall of Fame show. I'm excited to see how it plays out. The other thing that really hasn't happened yet, that when you're just talking about cards, they would have to extend it, is bringing in new characters that serve specific, you know, like I really like Dexter.

I don't think it was a Hall of Fame show, but it was a really good show. But the Lithgow season was the best show. When they brought somebody in who was a fucking awesome actor in a really good part and he was just great. And I think Succession has that card for the next couple seasons.

Well, that's what's smart about this storyline with the Pierce family, right? Is that you can kind of test it out. Right. This can be a short-term thing where either the bye goes through and then they fend off the bear hug because they got so big

and this is the new world and the characters stay around forever and that's another power dynamic that becomes a regular part of the chemistry and flow of what an episode of Succession is. Or if they feel like it's not working, it's taking time away

from that one extra line from Connor and his presidential campaign video that you want every week, you just move on. And so the fact that this is ultimately a media company, theme parks, cruises, there are all these opportunities where they're going to continue to be able to bring people in.

And then you have things like, who is Kendall going to try to date? Who else will he meet? Who's Roman with? Like there's all these different ways to bring people into their lives. And then I don't think that just because Shiv left the Gill campaign,

we're finished with the political realm either. That's going to always be a way to bring new players their lives. And then I don't think that just because Shiv left the Gill campaign, we're finished with the political realm either. That's going to always be a way to bring new players in too. And House, there's one card that's sitting there. Conor's presidency? The hashtag MeToo card. Logan Roy, I would imagine would have some MeToo skeletons

in his past. And that feels like it's going to be a side plot though. I mean, it can't possibly... You don't think him getting canceled isn't a possibility? Who? Logan.

What do you mean getting canceled? Like, if he got involved... I mean, this guy's like a media magnet. Yeah. Him being involved in some sort of...

Like, how is this different than what happened on, like, Les Moonves? Well, so this is... is I mean they're teasing us for the next episode right that the cruise line scandal that they covered up is going to be a focus of

the next episode or the back half of the season so there's some of that in there already like what were they covering up what crimes were they covering up I'm going to say Logan has some personal skeletons are you familiar with the work of the President of the United States of America? Are you familiar with the work

of Donald Trump? That seems like a good one to go out on House Mallory, thanks for doing this and if you haven't caught up on Succession I don't know what's wrong with you The morgue is closed, but Succession is open

Just take the fucking money. Alright, thanks to House of Mallory. Thanks to ZipCruiter. Don't forget about ZipCruiter.com slash BS. Thanks to Square. These days, Square is more than a little white credit card reader.

It's a whole system of tools built to run and grow any kind of business from point of sale and payroll to invoices and online stores. Go to square.com slash go slash BS to see all the ways you can take your business from square one to whatever's next. And thanks to Amazon Kindle, you can read as much as you want from over 1 million books on Kindle, switch between reading and listening with over 5,000 audiobooks or choose from a rotating selection of popular magazines. Books may be added or removed

from time to time, but you can read titles. I mentioned Harry Potter. My mother was nuts. That's going to be my autobiography. Apparently somebody wrote it. I'll have to write the sequel. For a limited time, get three months of Kindle Unlimited for $1.99 by visiting amazon.com slash BSP. Make sure you type it all in lowercase. We are coming back Sunday night from Washington, D.C. Joe House is going to join us. We're going to be doing Guest Aligns with Sal.

I am in Washington, D.C. because I'm hosting PTI the next day with Uncle Tony. Very excited to be back. Even if it's a little stop, I can't wait. Can't wait to see everybody. Can't wait to see Radholm and Kelleher and do 30 Minutes with Uncle Tony. But more importantly, hang

out with Hass and the crew in D.C. all weekend. That's it. We'll see you Sunday night. On the wayside On the first sun Never lost it I don't have To ever forget