The Bill Simmons Podcast - So Long, Kyrie, and Hello, Augusta, With Joe House and Bill’s Dad | The Bill Simmons Podcast (Ep. 349)

Episode Date: April 6, 2018

Bill Simmons is joined by his dad and Joe House in Augusta, Georgia, after Round 1 of the Masters to talk about the remainder of the Celtics’ season without Kyrie Irving and the Eastern Conference playoffs before getting into their third day at Augusta National Golf Club (23:00). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today's very special Augusta episode of the BS podcast on the ringer podcast network is brought to you by zip recruiter. The Celtics might have to use a recruiter to hire a new point guard because Kyrie Irving is out for the playoffs. I'm covered in Buffalo sauce right now. I'm very upset. 80% of employers who post a job on zip recruiter, get a quality candidate within a day.

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And finally, we're brought to you by Callaway, the presenting sponsor of this check. That's Joe House's golf podcast he taped one uh because we went to augusta today which we're going to talk about a little bit right after my dad stops crying about the kairi irving being knocked out for the entire season um you can subscribe to shack house wherever you get your podcast him jeff shackleford jeff shackleford really gets up at 4 30 in the morning to go to and subscribe to Shack House, wherever you get your podcasts. Him, Jeff Shackelford. Jeff Shackelford really gets up at 4.30 in the morning to go to Augusta? Well, because they do morning shoots

for the morning drive show live from Augusta all week long at the Golf Channel. They got to be ready. These are TV people. It's time to get up. Meanwhile, we are also brought to you by the recapables which i will not be on this week after my two episode streak on billions with mallory rubin i'm not on this week but she brought in sean fantasy and he's gonna guest host for me and also atlanta too we put those up

on fridays coming up my dad joe, nephew Kyle, who was home all day. We're going to get into that too. We don't know what he was doing all day. There are no more paper towels. I just want to observe. There are no more paper towels in the house. We're going to find out later about the Tinder scene here in Augusta, Georgia. But first, our friends from Pearl Jam. Man, I'm laughing and I'm laughing through my tears.

So, here's how it works at the Masters, just for you people that don't know, because I actually didn't know this. I'd never thought about it before. They take your phone. You go through the gate, and your phone disappears, and you walk in,

and you don't have a phone, and nobody has a phone, and nobody's holding, nobody's taking pictures, nobody's having annoying phone calls, nobody's texting, and it's just silent. And it's like what House and I grew up with in the 80s

and what Dr. Bill grew up with in the 1930s. And we didn't have a phone for like nine, 10 hours. We had this great day at the Masters, which we're going to talk about. Really beautiful. Great day. Couldn't have been a better day. We'll talk about it.

Get out, get the phones back, turn the phone on. I'm always like 10%. I'm worried something happened at work. I'm going to have all these texts from Sean Fantasy, my wife, my son had a dumb injury. Who knows? What I wasn't expecting was that my Celtics season was over. Found that out. That had been in the stratosphere for six, seven hours. Kyrie Irving had to have a second surgery because he had a first invasive surgery for some screws that are apparently a little loose in his kneecap, which I wish we had known about last summer. And there was an infection,

and they decided to just shut him down and have a second surgery. And now we don't have a point guard. Our top two players heading into the season have played a combined 60 games that are no longer, and now are heading to the playoffs. Dr. Bill, you sent your check in for playoff tickets already, right? You sent that check in. They have your money.

You told me to go ahead and send that money in that you'd take care of it, so I sent the check in, yeah. Kyrie out. Deep down, we were worried about this. I got worried when they were like, the screws are a tiny bit loose. That made me nervous. I don't like when people have screws in their feet or their kneecaps. I got worried about five weeks ago when he missed some time because they portrayed it as

tendonitis in the knee. But meanwhile, everybody remembers the threat he made to the calves back in the summer that he'd have surgery on the knee if they didn't trade him. So you started to get worried that maybe there's more to it. Maybe the kneecap hasn't healed correctly. And this is on top of losing Gordon Hayward. In five minutes. In five minutes. And then what's the guy? I'll never be able to pronounce his name, House.

Who dislocated his ankle and popped it back in? Tony Finau. So a golfer dislocates his ankle. He pops it back in. Hayward dislocates his ankle, but then all his ligaments tear and all that stuff. This has just been like the worst luck Celtics season. Marcus Smart got hurt. Daniel Teese was playing well.

He got hurt. Yeah. And they have a chance to win 57 games house, getting 60 games in five minutes from their two best and most expensive players it's kind of unheard of the only thing if the wizards didn't have wall and bill all year how many games would you win 31 20 28 yeah 25 right 31 is the ceiling how many games would they would the calves win if they didn't have LeBron and if they missed 104 games of LeBron and Kevin Love I would say they're a 28 win team I agree with this it's just crazy I've never seen anything like this the Celtics are gonna have home court advantage in round one that have the two best players now you and I'm weirdly confident I feel like we're gonna

win Brad Stevens I believe well this is what you beat me to the point. You have the very best coach in the entire NBA, with all due respect to Mike D'Antoni and what's going on in Houston and all due respect to Dwayne Casey and the sort of breakthrough that Toronto seemed to have during the regular season. The coach of the year is Brad Stevens. There really can be no debate about it. Yeah, especially San Antonio is starting to potentially fade out of the playoffs which you can talk about in a second but it's been an amazing coaching job and when he was winning

games on the road with shane larkin and um marcus morris and just he i think kevin o'connor called him a sorcerer br Stevens which I thought was very fitting um he has never been in a worse spot I don't think with the in a playoff series with the supporting cast he has right now because we don't know if we're getting Marcus Smart either yeah is he playing they they don't think he's going to be back for round one oh my god now you worry about you, obviously we miss him now tremendously. Larkin has been out too.

Well, he was, he's sick though. He'll be back. Yeah, he's sick. He just had like a really bad flu. Yeah, but he also was out for about three or four games

with tendonitis in the knee. So he has a bulky knee as well. So you're not too excited to go to these playoff games? Well, I'm excited. You like this team. You're attached to them. I'm excited to go. It's a fun team. The young guys, Tatum and Brown,

Horford, still some guys left. I love watching Tatum and Brown play together. I wish Rozier was more consistent. That was the nicest thing you've said about Rozier in like three months. By more consistent, do you mean more consistently on the bench with five minutes left

in the fourth quarter so he's not chucking? He took a shot at Rogier on his red-hot Twitter account, which is up to 11,000 Twitter followers. It is red-hot. He's going to be at 75,000 in two weeks. What a pace for Dr. Bill. He's got Dr. Bill 1947 on Twitter. You know he's the type of player that really bothers me.

He plays hero basketball. He wants to take the big shot every single time no but that's just the Celtics offense is for the point guard to do that and it doesn't matter who the guard is i think what but he's not Kyrie Irving which i think he feels that maybe he's become my dad my dad over the years i like assists my dad hates two things in basketball more than anyone else the point guard who jacks up the three at a pivotal moment with like three minutes left with like 10 seconds on the shot clock with a hand on his face.

Drives you crazy. Even if Kyrie does it, you're like 10% mad, and he's probably the best at it. Well, until it goes in. When it goes in, you love it. I'm okay. And then he hates big guys who don't rebound, which we kind of have without Horford to some degree,

although it's not really totally in the offense. There's another side to that. I really have a problem with big guys who don't box out, which is the big part of rebounding. My dad really likes Greg Monroe. He's this old school. He likes lefties. He likes lefties who rebound and who post up.

He's like greg monroe's biggest fan is it because greg monroe is slow and dr bill can keep an eye on yeah that's he's not moving that fast on his tv i see okay that makes sense to me we've we could never stop greg monroe we always wished he was on our team the kairi thing though i had him i thought he was a second team all NBA before he disappeared a few weeks ago I was playing like one of the best 10 players in the league and more importantly than that was just so much fun to watch game to game really one of the most enjoyable Celtics I've ever just followed night to night to night he was just such a thrill

like there was so many moments like you just it's a second quarter against like uh charlotte on a tuesday night and all of a sudden kairi gets hot for four minutes it's just absolutely thrilling and now i'm worried about him long term i hope i hope this knee thing is the article i just read said that once, they're saying the knee is perfectly intact. They're saying that the bacterial infection is not the really bad MRSA, excuse me, the MRSA infection, and that he'll be okay in five months. Five months. When is five months?

Takes you almost into training camp. It's April. Oh my God. That's September. That's a long time. it's a long time that's a long time not as long as kyle spent on tinder today but a long time kyle what was the tinder scene like in augusta you had a hassle loan for 10 hours god knows what happened here um house do you think teams will tank to try to play the cics to get to the seven seed? I would be upset at your wizards if they tank to get to the seven seed. I observed this on heat check.

Wong on John Gonzalez made the mistake of having me on that podcast. And I said to him, I don't think the wizards aren't, don't have to do anything to tank. They just have to wizard. And then I think that'll end up in the, in the seven seat, just playing the way they're going to play.

I, in a heartbeat, I, I, even with, with Kyrie on the floor, I preferred the Celtics over the Cavaliers a million times out of a million. Because you want another whooping? Oh, my gosh, please. Now, this is the thing. Here, I have a little kind of theory for you guys.

I want to test out. Is it a theory that when the last time the Celtics and Wizards played, you lost 4-3? I'm not talking about that. that's an institutional problem in washington are you going to bring up that we don't have a linux to bring off the bench yeah kelly oh well that is interesting right that is part of the point i want to make to you and i'm interested in your reaction to this there are two things that that that from a semi-disinterested observer i'm slightly interested because i hate the effing Boston Celtics. We don't like you either.

I'm outside of Boston. It did feel like there's a bit of a karmic comeuppance, and not to the Boston franchise, because I don't think that the franchise did anything to put them on the wrong side of karma necessarily, although sticking a knife in little Isaiah's back was a little bit rude, but it's understandable. It's a business.

The interesting thing. No, it was, I love the Celtics. It was flat out rude. It was rude. It was rude. It didn't feel good.

None of us felt good about it. It was a great trade, but none of us felt good. And it felt like they shanked them. I agree with you. They shanked them a little bit. That's right. I mean,

that just, I'm just putting that over there. They 100% shanked that guy who played through injuries and his sister dying and all that stuff, and then they traded him the first moment they could. Yeah. I'm conceding that point. So I feel like what this season turned into is a combo karma, you know,

turn in the direction where there has to be a little bit of payback. On the one hand, Gordon Hayward dissed the Mormons. And you know the Church of the Latter-day Saints is not standing for any of that. Now you're not being serious. And on the other hand, Kyrie threatened knee surgery to the Cavaliers and put himself on the wrong side. Kyrie did nothing. Kyrie had no residual karma.

There's a lot of stories about Kyrie's insistence to leave Cleveland. And if he was going to go get the knee surgery, that was the threat that was on the table. And now look, both of those two guys are out. And the interesting thing to me, slightly more serious. Do you think people put the juju on him, you mean? This is the transition season that last season was supposed to be. Last season was not supposed to be the Eastern Conference final team

by any stretch of the imagination. Do you think the Mormons put the juju on Gordon Hayward? Oh, yes, I do believe that. What are you talking about? Of course, Utah. They have special powers there. They have polygamy there, of course. Who are you talking about?

I'm just telling you. Now you're going to get in trouble on the S slc dunk blog site they're gonna be upset what other explanation is there for him playing five minutes and breaking his ankle in a way that eliminated him from the rest of the season i know do you have an explanation for it i don't i don't either i i will say other than the mormons i will house is kidding i am kidding i love the mormons i do too wait i i've been to utah the mormons are very nice utah is great friendly park city's outstanding handsome handsome people handsome people handsome people nice and good sports fans yes great sports fans i i do think it's we've it really feels like we've had an inordinate amount of injuries this year.

And I might be wrong, and somebody might be able to write a treatise about how actually the injuries have been the same. It just feels like a lot of superstars have been wiped out this year. Superstars, stars, important players. And I don't know whether it's just a fluke and an aberration. It probably is. But, man, it seems like every week somebody goes down. But what do you think about the fact that the season's two weeks longer? Do you think that had anything to do with it?

Either one of you guys? I just think it's kind of a fluky season and we'll be back to normal next year. I've made this point before, but NBA classic, the hardwood classics games games backs it up. The guys play harder now, they try harder. They run more, the threes, the space thing.

I've made this point before on the podcast. I think these guys, I think they work their bodies harder than they used to. I think it's harder to play basketball now. I don't think it's as physical as it was in the 80s and 90s, but I just think there's more exertion and I do wonder, and I also think there's how, so you'll like this theory. Stop watching the basketball game.

So was the calves. I know there's less big guys, right? So it's actually easier to go to drive the lane and get into the paint and try to beat people off the dribble and stuff and play above the air and have these alley-oops. And it seems like we've had more alley-oop accidents and lob accidents than we've ever had before.

And one of the reasons we're having more lobs is there's less big guys and there's less people protecting the rim. And I wonder if all of this is connected. I'm theorizing. That's how Hayward got injured, remember? Yeah, on a lob. Well, it was partly the lob and partly he got undercut. He was nudged.

Don't make the Mormons. The Mormons love Jay Crowder in Utah. He got partially nudged by Jay Crowder and partly nudged by King James. It was a nudge just like Kyle was swiping right and nudging different

people in Augusta today. Kyle, true or false, were you on Tinder today? That's false. It's false, okay. He categorically denies it. Although there are no paper towels in the house. I just want to remind you again. Odds for the Celtics went from 20 to 1 to 80 to 1. They should have gone to 800 to one.

Yeah. To win the title. I don't even have a counter. To win the title. Yeah. Yeah. They went to 20 to one to get to the Eastern conference finals. The frustrating thing is I feel like the East is the most wide open.

It's been in a long time. You could talk me into all these different teams getting in there. We were talking last night. We were at one of the parties we were at last night here in lovely Georgia. If Washington plays Cleveland in round one, I don't know if Washington's going to beat them, although they're beating them tonight. Washington's going to think they're going to beat them.

They're going to go into that series, and they're actually going to think, like, we're going to beat Cleveland. They're actually crazy enough to think they could win that series. And I think they're the only team. I think Cleveland's in Toronto's head. Philly's probably young and dumb, but deep down, they're not going to think they can beat LeBron in a playoff series yet. You go on down the line, Washington's like, we can beat these guys.

We know we can beat these guys. We played with these guys. We're ready to beat these guys. But then Washington has three other teams that would probably beat them in a playoff series. I think this could be a crazy, crazy East. What do you think, Dad? You've seen all these teams in person.

Yeah, I think with our injuries now, Toronto has a clear path to that finals. Don't you think? Their bench is the strongest bench I've seen all season. And I know Cleveland. It's not a clear path, though, because they're playing Cleveland or Philly in round two.

And that'll be the toughest series they have. And then the other team that's left, they'll be there in round three. I can see Washington knocking off Cleveland and ending up playing Toronto in the Eastern Conference Finals. I can see it, too. Or what I really could see, the house is already wincing. It's a seven-game series that Cleveland pulls out at the last five minutes of game seven because LeBron's great, but more importantly,

because Washington blows the game. And it's one of those series that Washington could have won six of the seven games and blew three in the final five minutes and all their fans spend the whole summer going, oh, if Brooks didn't do that and if Wall made that one play, I could totally see that playing out there. I need to take back everything I just said. I can't see Washington winning that series.

We steamrolled them last year, didn't we? What are you talking about well one call like one half of one good quarter now he's my homie kelly olenek because he came on house of carbs we talked about sushi together i love when john wilde jumped on the scorer's table and then lost the next game and got sent home for the summer yeah it's my favorite it made me want to take two forks and jam them into my temple on both sides. Seriously. You know why he did that? Because that is, and this is a serious thing,

and I've said this a couple times on the pods over the course of the season, that's the highest achievement he's ever had in his basketball life. He's never had a better basketball moment, but it is indicative of his inexperience as a winner he's he's awesome i love john wall i i i'm all in with him i'm glad we maxed him and everything but he just doesn't have a big resume of being a basketball winner which is why we the the the next off season which hopefully doesn't come after the first round of the playoffs, we need to bring in another veteran that has some of that Paul Pierce mojo.

We need somebody who knows how to win to still help. LeBron James. Beal and Wall are still super young. Or you could get the Utah people to put some juju on LeBron. I love the Mormons, and I love the Utah people. I don't know what we could work out in exchange and what would make sense for them to come help. You know, LeBron invented the barbershop concept.

What's this? Of content. You didn't hear about this story? Oh, no. I've been without my phone at augusta lou saban in alabama they did some barbershop thing for a digital series and apparently lebron's company sent a cease and desist because they had done that barbershop thing not realizing that 25 other people have used that barbershop concept over the years including espn multiple times

cease and desist on on being in a barbershop oh people shoot the shit in a barbershop whoa where'd you come up with that one i've only seen that 20 times trademark on that the best gtfo gt i love it uh amazon music is the simplest way to listen to the music you love discover tens of millions of songs including the hottest new releases and thousands of curated playlists and stations across all your devices just by asking. No ads, no limits, no interruptions. My dad seems like confused by this whole thing. Amazon Music.

You go to Amazon, they have music. Find them at the tip of your tongue. If you're having friends over tonight, dad, just ask to play music for a dinner party. I remember going to my dad's house for dinner and he was playing Coldplay for like five straight years, this Coldplay playlist. Now you have Amazon Music. Shout out your favorite bands or your favorite years. Or if you're playing a song

you enjoy and want to hear more like it, simply say Alexa, play more like this. Engaging with music has never been more natural, simple and fun. Kind of like Kyle's day today. New customers, start your 30-day free trial at AmazonMusic.com. That is AmazonMusic.com to start your 30-day trial free.

Kyle, you love free stuff. Love it. Renews automatically. Cancels anytime. Amazon Music. House, gun to your head. Who's at the NBA Finals? I don't know.

I'm still thinking about Doc sitting in his cocktail hour saying, Alexa, play me Harry Belafonte. Play me YOLO by Coldplay. Please. Play me the Parachutes album. The Kaz and the Warriors. The Kaz and the Warriors. We should have made fun of Dr. Bill because today was the greatest day of his life

until Kyrie went down. We should go backwards. So we go to Augusta yesterday for the par three. And we're at the par three and we're walking around and we don't really understand what's going on. We checked the course. We were at the Berkman's Club.

We went there. Interesting experience. Five great restaurants. Had lunch there. Got some stuff at the pro shop. And then we're like, let's go check out the par three. And we go and we're walking around. We go see different holes and we're looking for you.

Walk around the back. We try to go as far away as possible to try to get to a hole that we feel like the least amount of people would be at. Find this spot the last threesome comes up it's jack nicholas gary player and tom watson all of them two of them get it on the green tom watson's on the fringe he goes he's away he chips in chips in everybody goes nuts watson's like at least 75 72 i don't know he's probably like 72 he's older than my dad so he chips it in like 69 maybe it calms down nicholas starts working it he's like uh-huh reminds me of 36 years ago i didn't like that and watson's like well i liked

it they start going back and forth like the gallery's losing its mind this is like unbelievable jack nicholas and tom watson going back and forth um gary player he putts in for a birdie and now my dad's like my dad really wants this nicholas thing my the simmons family has loved jack nicholas i i think it might even have been the 75 Masters, might even have been the first golf tournament I ever watched, which he won, FYI. 86 Masters, one of the great sports moments of my life. On the original list of 30 for 30, it fell through at the last second, much like the Andre the Giant thing, but we had Andre the Giant check.

So anyway, Nicholas standing over the birdie putt, and he sinks it. And we went nuts. The whole crowd went nuts. My dad's like, that was a moment. That was a moment. It's like some ridiculous part three. And then some guy yelling out, Jack, run around the green. Jack, run around the green.

No, Tom. He was telling Tom Watson run around the green. There's always one shithead in the gallery. Really, there always is. But so that was great. So then we go today and we find this spot on the 16th hole that allows us to also see the guys driving off the 17th fairway 17 t box 17 t box so we're right on the 17 t box but we can see the 16th green very very clearly right in front of us

we get there two two hours ahead of whenever any golfer show up um we guard the seats house was like leave the seats nobody's going to take them and then we're watching and people are coming in these little sneaky people and they're moving chairs around moving other people's chairs behind dirty pool there was so much dirty pool i'm so ashamed of some of the some of the behavior i saw today um so finally the the golfers start trickling through and we're watching these putts and the 16th is probably my favorite hole i think of it as the vern lunkest hole sure maybe yes sir from 86 yeah um have you ever so they're going through they're going through and and it's We're just waiting for Tiger

We're just waiting And there's not a lot of people It's like, I would say maybe What, 20, 25% full? Yeah, in the seating area In the standing room behind us Very light, you know, people just Stopping for a second, watching

The sixth fairway is coming down To our right yeah and tiger is playing the six this is earlier all of a sudden there's like a million people there because everyone's just following tiger they just want to be anywhere near him that never doubt america's love for tiger so now we're getting close to tiger time and it's starting to fill up and starting to fill up and he's not playing well. And at the masters, they only tell you how the leaders are doing. We don't have phones as covered earlier. We have no idea how Tiger's doing. He might be minus one. He might be plus nine. We don't know. Finally, he's up.

He's on the 15th, which we can't see, but we can hear. And we're trying to analyze the cheers. And there's a cheer, and we're like, was that a good cheer? Was that a bad? Was that a birdie cheer? Is it a par cheer? Like at Augusta, you're always trying to basically decipher the cheers. We don't know what happened. He hits his approach, leaves it, what, maybe 18 feet short?

20 feet, yeah. Uphill. uphill makeable we've been watching the green all day which we'll talk about but nobody has made that putt all nobody made the putt all day but yet it's tiger my dad really wants it because he's had nicholas on wednesday now he's got tiger coming these are his two guys who are your five guys tiger spieth nicholas spieth michelson and michelson not bubba i like bubba no but it's not a nat and that stop it he said who do i like um no but those are your four guys basically okay and then uh and tiger made the putt and people and people lost their shit and the power of Tiger is real. People fucking love Tiger unanimously.

We didn't realize though, he wasn't having a terrible day. No, he was grinding it. He had two bogeys and that was his only birdie of the day. So he was one over. So rank Nicholas at the par three versus Tiger birdie putt uphill 20 footer.

Which one was more difficult? No, which one meant more to you as a human being oh the necklace one yeah ah see wow about that the legend it was pretty amazing because nicholas is like legit old he's almost 80 wasn't just the putt it was at par three the fact that all we didn't even we weren't even positive they were hitting we just thought maybe they were ceremonially ceremoniously putting or something we didn't know they were actually like gonna try to hit golf shots and then they hit over the water onto the green not only that watson won watson won the par three he had six out of nine birdies on the on the nine hole tournament it's one of the great things about the golf that somebody who's like 72 can still be good.

Like 72-year-old Jerry West isn't winning the three-point contest. He's not. This is why I keep trying to drag you back into golf. We can do this for the next 30 years together. So Tiger goes through. House and I finally get up. We'd been sitting there forever. My dad doesn't want to leave.

He's at this point, he's like Jack Nicholson in The Shining at the end. Like he's just going to die in the maze. He's just going to cover it in ice. I wanted to protect the seats. You wanted to protect the seats. So we go. House and I, we walk up. We go up 17.

We go up 18. House, of course, has to piss for the 90th time. We do that. I took us to a great pissister you have to admit we get the sweet sweet tea and lemonade i mixed it together making arnold palmer it was outstanding yeah let's just pause on that for a second it was so good it was a great arnold palmer that you you hadn't had the sweet tea before the southern tradition of sweet tea i've had so many ruined arnold palmers that i've almost stopped ordering

them or thinking about them because everybody makes the lemonade too sweet which screws up the arnold palmer and yet here was the sweet tea was too sweet and it balanced out the lemonade and i poured half of each out and mixed them together like tom cruise i'll tell you your mixology from my perspective you had four fifth-fifths lemonade, one-fifth sweet tea, because the sweet tea was so potent. I was so good. And then you were like, oh, this is delicious. So I had to have a taste.

It was effing delicious. It was delicious. And the big mistake was not smuggling in vodka into Augusta, which we should have done. So House and I walked down the 10th, which is a really harrowing haul. Harrowing is the only word I would use for the 10th. And we, to be more specific about it, walked down the left side of the 10th. Yeah.

Off the beaten path. It was great. We didn't walk down the right side of the 10th. It's like the least traffic part of the whole course. Come around 11. Then we head toward A-Man Corner. We get to see Mickelson and all this stuff. We do the whole thing.

We walk down. Walk down 13 14 see some friends come back in time to see the next group of people which include we'll get to sergio later because we didn't see that but then jordan speith catches fire and they're putting on the board because god forbid you have any sort of electronic communication there but you don't know how anybody's doing until they change the score on the board. And they just do like Jordan Spieth's two under in red. And then the next hole now is three under.

It's like, oh, he birdied that one. And it's like, oh, the next, oh, he's four under. Oh, he had another birdie. And it's like all this word of mouth shit. It's fucking awesome. So coming at us, he's had three straight birdies. How close did he put his shot it was like six feet five or six feet yeah but his house pointed out to it do your jordan speed putting thing well he's

had this this trouble all season long and it's been the main thing that that folks were concerned about coming into augusta can he get over this this is exactly the length of putt that it's to casual observers and even more serious observers. He's having a mental block with it. I mean, his putting statistics in this range have been horrendous all season long, and it looks like he's doing weird stuff with his hands. And that was the reason people weren't positive he should be the favorite. Yeah.

Now, there has been this line of thought that the familiarity of Augusta and how natural a place it is for him in his game, he'd be able to just turn a switch, turn off his brain, and just putt basically with his eyes closed is kind of the concept. So hold this thought because the foursome before was Mickelson, Matt Kuchar, who's the third guy. Yeah, the threesome before. Yeah, threesome before.

Kuchar, Mickelson, and Ricky Fowler. Ricky Fowler. And they all put their shots within six feet of the pin and they all made birdies. So we're riding that high. And my dad loves Phil Mickelson, so he was excited about that. Now here's Spieth. He's trying to get over the hump with these six footers. And he's the third of that group to putt.

I knew this, but I didn't really know it until i saw in a person like you really love speed oh i do he's like almost like a boston athlete he's my favorite golfer at the moment yeah why is it doc i'm interested he likes how he handles his business yeah he's serious about it he's he's good with the crowd gives a good interview um doesn't seem it's a good interview doesn't seem that a criteria full of himself uh he is very good with the interviews he's he's uh gives a sort of a level of revelation about his thinking that's a little unique he doesn't just give the normal corporate patter that you get from from the white bread golfers so he makes the six footer well you you forgot he he's the third of that

group and the other two guys made it right so now there's pressure on because it's like you never want to be the third great birdies right and at this point my dad is just like just leave me here just i'm just gonna melt in my seat just just just set me on fire i just want to die right here um if we had left you there there, you might not have left. You're in your chair. I've never seen you happier. He would have saved the seat for tomorrow. It would have been perfect.

Unfortunately, I did have to leave because I had to go to the bathroom again. So his four favorite golfers ever, we planted on holes, and all of them passed through that hole once, and all of them birdied. I have a question for you. It's kind of unbelievable. For you guys, this is the first time that you're observing a golf tournament that way. We are up close and pretty personal. Did you think that the interplay between the guys mattered at all?

Do you think that like guys were inspiring the other ones? You're a body, the body body language doctor the chemistry guy very very very detached from one another with like only two or three exceptions like kutcher and mickelson definitely are buddies like you could tell they're boys and like they were they hit their drives and they're walking down toward the fairway and kutcher was like walking backwards like giving phil shit like they it seemed like they were just having fun most of the guys didn't seem fun except for Kutcher and Mickelson and we saw

every group go through to that you saw every group because you didn't move for seven and a half hours well that's true well it looked like we saw a little bit of Tiger and Tommy Fleetwood they had a little interaction as well and both of them birdied 16 together yeah that was

Tommy Fleetwood was a tommy fleetwood was a revelation for me he was my big pick yeah i picked him at 50 to 1 i liked all the stuff i'd read but actually seeing him in person it's kind of like having harry styles as as a golfer so he's got the long flowing hair and he was just dressed to the nines and just looked like a cool guy i like that he hung he shot a 72 today okay and uh he's he's kind of he's kind of lurking and he got his whole playing with tiger experience i like it i think there's a charisma to him there is that makes him a good competitor for a legit charisma yeah yeah the way he was carrying it was i was watching you know i'm the body language doctor

i was watching everyone carried themselves except for those examples differently i didn't think the golfers interacted with each other at all um yeah you were let down no they were very serious part of it is they're thrown together i mean i'm thinking of the fred couples grouping as an example he came through with two players from different countries they they didn't talk at all, the three of them. And that was a theme throughout the day with a couple of exceptions. Well, it is the masters. I mean, they're pretty serious. Yeah.

But you see a little dialogue. We should mention we were, I would say, nine feet from where they were teeing off on 17. So we were super close. We could hear their conversations. If they were talking to each other, we would have heard it. One of the things that I was pleasantly surprised by with the Masters,

like in basketball, you have to get, you know, you're trying to get as close to the court as possible. You need connections. There's only a certain amount of seats, right? In golf, you can kind of create your court side, but you have to get up at 6.30 in the morning or have your intern or lackey well i think go save your seats i think we're all shocked by how in every single example around every green all the good spots were already taken by like it seemed like by like 7 30 in the morning we were there at 9 30 in the morning well i have a tip for you if you if the

people the good people out there if you're listening and you plan on going to the augusta someday but first of all buy the chairs even though they're a little uncomfortable i would say it's 30 bucks it's worth it but um if you go early if you go at the start of the day especially on thursday or friday um the people the seats didn't really fill up about halfway through. You just go sit in other people's chairs until they get there. And you can go sit that first, first two rows were just completely open for most of the day. And one of our friends sat with us for two hours. It felt like.

Yeah. Cause the people never showed up. So I would say just go sit in people's chairs and pretend that's your chair until they come to kick you out. When they kick you out, big deal. You get up you get up yeah and you can go stand behind it's not like you're gonna lose a perspective i do like that courtside um uh description you just gave because one of the moments that i always love um at a professional tournament i'm interested in in this take as well you you can go to places and station yourself anticipating when they're going to come through and get very close so you can get so we had that on the walk between 10 and 11

when spieth and louis ustazen and alex noren what left a 10th oh yeah we could have gotten like fist bumps from them yeah i mean they were they were dapping the kids which was awesome i mean i like that quite a bit but you guys made an an observation about the golfers early in the day when we were in that 17 tee box about the physicality. Oh, yeah. So tell the good people a little bit about that. Well, the guys are bigger than I was prepared for. We noticed that yesterday when we went and saw Stenson.

It was a practice round, and some guys were playing, and we were watching Stenson on the 17th. And he's like a legit kind of cut guy. 6'4"? Yeah, maybe 6'3", 6'4". If you put a basketball uniform on him, you could easily see him on the Dallas Mavericks. He's got real muscle.

And then you see somebody, even somebody like Rory. Guys, that guy's like jacked. Or that Jonathan Vegas there. I mean, there's some big ass. Stenson's a big dude. There's like 10 like legit big dudes that look like professional athletes. But we also commented that.

Yeah, there's some short ones. So many of them were short, but they had consistently huge forearms yeah they're all like have those popeye bodies yeah yeah you know who i was surprised by in that vein i never realized he always looks skinny on television is is your boy chuck schwartzel rock solid yeah forearms popping out the chuckster was i i was shocked by how short some of the guys were. And it makes sense because I do think like the two sports where being short is an advantage are golf and billiards. That's right. I called billiards a sport.

Billiards? You're low to the ground. There's less things moving. And it's just the hand that now Kyle's on. Kyle, get off Tinder. Jesus. I'm making a point right now. But I think you're low to the ground.

There's less ways your swing can go wrong. That's why there's never been a 6'7 golfer, right? There's never been a good 6'7 golfer. Who's the tallest good golfer? You can't go higher than 6'3. I mean, Stewart Sink and Stenson are the two guys that come to mind. And I don't know for history if there's a historical guy then you see ian woosman who he showed up he's like five six he looks like anthony hopkins he's got this big pot belly just seemed nasty just didn't seem

this is his only tournament this is all he's played you can see he gets to play because he's a winner just like this bitter scott man it was great i liked that that we picked a t-box so you could also see and this is the thing i'm interested in your guys take on as well the swings yes how i mean i gotta say all the swings pretty much look the same to me it's not that they look but i i the velocity of the swing. The velocity is just outrageous. On TV, you can't appreciate velocity. They swing hard as F. Am I right? Yeah.

They swing hard as a mother effer. That's why I couldn't really tell the swings apart because all of them are going 130 miles an hour. It's like being at the Indy 500. We watch on TV and you see the swing, but then they show the replay and you can kind of get a feel for what they're doing. In person, it just looks like they're hitting the shit out of the ball.

They pound the golf ball. They hit it so far. I remember the 17th is a long drive. It's the one where the Eisenhower tree used to be. Except for Stenson and maybe one or two other players, everybody had the big driver out. Oh, yeah. So we got to see that.

Yes. And you really, the goal was to try to get to the top of the hill because then it's a dog leg. Yeah. That whole is ridiculous. I got to say, actually, let's do an ad because I have a very important point about the course. But first, has your company outgrown QuickBooks?

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Once again, netsuite.com. Kyle, this one's free too. More free stuff for you. I'm going to give that to you again. netsuite.com slash BS. All right. So, you know, you go to a baseball park and it's going to be a little different than TV, but, you know, it's cool.

And you go to Wrigley, you go to Dodger Stadium, you go to Fenway, you go to some of the OG ones. And there's definitely, you feel the vibe.'re like oh this is cool this is oh like oh it's like a museum I get it going to the Masters was one of the most eye-opening experiences I've had just I've watched this tournament my whole life and you watch it and you take all the holes for granted you know like your favorite golfer's down by a stroke with two holes left he's like he just has to birdie one of these last two and you're like come on youfer's down by a stroke with two holes left he's like he just has to birdie one of these last two and you're like come on you mfr birdie one of these last two what are you doing and then you walk up 17 and 18 17 is like 780 yards it's like it just never

it just just goes on forever and it's a par four and to hit that in three is crazy and then 18 is the famous trap on the left which if you go in there if you actually stand behind that trap and look up there's this other trap right in front of the green to the left but then if you carry that there's a trap on the right and you basically have to hit a perfect shot but without hitting into that other trap and it's like a 45 degree angle uphill and it seems impossible or you could try to hit it to the right side but if you carry it too far right you're going in the trees and i'm watching that going i can't believe i was mad that people couldn't birdie this how does anyone birdie this if you looked at the scoreboard, they had the leaders up. Yeah, nobody birdied 18.

Most of them bogeyed 18, including Spieth. Yeah. Most of the leaders bogeyed that hole. There was two birdies today on 18. Kuchar was one and Zach Johnson was the other. And quick aside, Spieth birdied 17 as well. Jim and Chris. Five in a row. Five in a row. Boy, row boy oh and then bogeyed 18 yeah and and walk in the course like what that par three on a man corner

oh over the water i'm sorry the iconic 12 um 12 that looks like such a hard shot when you're when you're looking at it from the gallery. It's just ridiculous. You're carrying all this water, and then the green is like four by six. It literally looks- It's so hard. Yeah. It looks like a very thin French fry, not to put everything in a food analogy.

But then the par five right afterwards is super easy, and it's clearly too short. And 16, where they put the- Obviously, the pin placement is huge, and is clearly too short. And, you know, 16 where they put the – obviously the pin placement is huge, but the pin was in the middle and it seemed like this should be a hole that you should birdie if you hit a good shot. We saw probably at least six shots that almost were hole-in-ones on the 16th today. But I'm sure either tomorrow or –

It was the pin placement. Yeah, tomorrow or Saturday they'll put that pin low near the water and they're going to F with everybody. The other thing that struck me is just the hills. It's just you're going up, you're going down, you're going up. There was this Bobby Jones quote, I think, in the Berkman's Club about it's like god created it god found this spot in the forest and it was the perfect golf course it really kind of is the perfect golf

course because of all those hills nothing straight there's no there's no flat lies yeah there's no hole that doesn't have some sort of wrinkle to it all of them have something that is just different than the other 17. That variability that is part of the design that makes it the icon that it is. That's right. I can't believe that all of us were able to get through an entire day without our phones like that. I was so proud of myself.

It was like 10 hours. I appreciated the fact that you watch other tournaments on tv and everybody has their cell phone out yeah everybody's videoing shots that they could tape if they put their tv on tape at home yeah here you just have to watch it and it was nice not to have that going on no no but you can't have cameras either so today so you there's no nothing's out everybody's watching my only quibble and i understand that it runs against uh tradition is there is no easy way to get information about how a guy is going during the course of his round so that when they arrive

to you and you're we're always rooting for the best but does this birdie so we watch sergio garcia and this is a funny sort of experience that we had and it goes to something you observed we heard noises and we didn't know what was going on that's right i thought he was attacked by an alligator i didn't know he was just hitting the ball in the water over and over well and we didn't really know that it was him yeah when he arrived in the tee box at 16 all we're in our our spot we've heard many of those disappointed oh yeah the deflating sounds from 15 where it's clear the ball's going in the water but you don't know whether it's one player or all three players that are dumping the water yeah we didn't know it's him until he broke his putter in half and tried to jam it in his own aorta well they had

to restrain him a great shot on 16 and he birdied it and birdied it exactly and and we didn't know that that took him from plus 10 back to plus nine yeah we didn't we didn't know that he had just filmed 10 cup right exactly that's so that's my quibble like it would have been fun because that in the entire group everybody uh sitting in in the little bowl there for 16 having known that might have given him a real encouraging this he's the master's winner the champion the standing champion you know the green jacket wearer of the moment and he this is his tournament is over here's my here's my counter i think this is one of the special things about Augusta that I liked more than anything.

Makes sense. Is that we were in the dark with almost everything and all the time. So you just don't know anything. I didn't know that Kyrie Irving got hurt. I didn't know that. I was there 100 and what? Maybe 250 yards away from Sergio hitting the ball

in the water over and over again we had no idea and I don't know I just you like the charm of it no it brought me back to like we don't need to know everything all the time you know it was nice to just overhear the guy behind me go yeah Tigers won over like oh yes oh I had no idea um had no idea. There was some mystery to it. Like yesterday, we were supposed to meet House and Nephi Kyle. And we were late. And we ended up not meeting them. And then we started walking around the course after the par three.

We were like, let's just walk around. Maybe we'll run into them. And we actually miraculously ran into you. And it was exciting. I haven't had a moment like that in 10 years where I was like, oh, there you are, hey! It's like how we found each other at parties 25 years ago. Yeah, that's like being at Holy Cross.

And then today, same thing. I ran into my friend Connor at the 17th. Hey! And he came and sat with us. Well, there was a little story yesterday. We looked over, and I said, that guy has a nice new shirt on. And it was Kyle. Yeah, that's right he had just

spent 80 on a shirt 80 did you spend 80 dollars on a shirt wow nice shirt well when you're getting sex for free on tinder you can spend 80 dollars on shirts tinder.com slash kyle that's swipe right if you like producer kyle but it was it was cool though that uh just running into people and not knowing where people were and not knowing what the score was i really enjoyed it there's a charm to it so i said it's my you know you can quibble you can see it both ways and you talked about this on the Shack House pod with Shackleford. You know, there's always like there's a little buzz in the background. You hear people talking. And even like when people are putting, there's people on other greens that don't know what's going on.

When Tiger got to 16, everybody in all the surrounding parts of everywhere. So the people who are in the 15th grandstand, the are sitting on the hill on the sixth fairway the people who were behind on the 17th the people around the green the 16th and then the people lined up on the fairway in the 17th tiger's lining up his putt and it was the only super duper 100 quiet moment of the entire day so quiet you could hear like crickets and it was like being outdoors in the middle of the entire day. So quiet you could hear like crickets and it was like being outdoors in the middle of the night or something. And everybody was just locked in on Tiger. It was really

magical. It was really cool to be there for it. I liked it. Yeah, it was magical. Once in a lifetime experience. Dad, do you want me to spread your ashes there? Where do you want your ashes to be spread? It's something 30 years down the road. After you get 100,000-quart of farms. Boston Gardens.

The Boston Gardens is gone. No. The parking lot? The Boston Gardens that now used to be a parking lot? Sure, Foss, we could have left you in the seat in Augusta. I really had to go to the bathroom. You did. You went to the bathroom once, and the people in front of us,

wow, the Wizards lost? What just happened? You were up one. Yeah, we're getting ready for the playoffs. This is the exact scenario we were talking about. I think the Celtics are playing the Wizards. Oh, my God. By the way, I'm feeling confident after watching them implode.

We're going to take one more break with the Google Assistant. You can complete over a million actions on your phone in your car around the house when you're coughing for example hey google book me a table for four at major domo well google sure let's make a reservation with open table for four people at major domo it's doing. Anyway, download the Google system right now. Are we done? We're almost done. My dad just asked if we're done,

which means we're probably almost done. Dad, any last thoughts? Augusta, you've been waiting your whole life. What's next on the bucket list now? Give us two more thoughts on the course that we didn't cover. It's so plush. I mean, the fairways look like putting greens. And I've never seen a course so beautiful.

The foliage, the way the plants are all at perfect timing in terms of behind each, particularly 12. 12 was the prettiest hole maybe I've ever seen. 12 is amazing in terms of just the vista they don't even let people i didn't i guess i knew this but it didn't really dawn on me until we were there they don't even let people walk over 12 it's just like its own little oasis over there everybody you're over here the real the real golfers are going over there. So give me one more. How about the cheap food? The $1.50 sandwiches.

No, it wasn't. One more would be, I think, the velocity of them hitting. You just can't appreciate it on TV. The power that they put through when they hit that ball um in person it's it's so much more pronounced than it is on when you watch it on television i mean i'm sure that's on every tournament probably has that i think the difference maybe with the masters is how intense everybody is in the house you've been to a million golf tournaments is the intensity a little different for this because it felt like it was it's radically different yeah i mean you know there's no effing around no talk of the gallery nothing no and it is it's you know one of the

things that that occurs you know in sort of the regular tour events there's a lot more rambunctiousness there's a lot more the volume is different and people are trying to be you know there's shenanigans and baba buoy and get in the hole and that's yelling right after the guys hit the ball you mean like the jerk off next to my dad today well that was but that was only in like our ears right because it's under under really peers in penalty of of getting kicked right on out yeah they just don't don't don't stand for any of that bs there yeah that guy had a nice wad of chew in his lower lip yeah it was doing like yeah he's doing like that stuff yeah

come on right uh we should mention quickly the sandwiches they're all like a dollar 52 dollars that was amazing we talked we broke this down in house Carbs, if you missed it. But the big winner, we tried the beef barbecue today. Yeah. Which we- Pork barbecue. Yeah, pork barbecue. We tipped off on House of Carbs that we're going to try it today and give our review. It was the best sandwich I had out of all the sandwiches.

It's different from everything else. It's a different walk of life altogether. And did you like it with the hot sauce or not like it with the hot sauce? Well, you know I like hot sauce. Okay. So I love it. There we go. The big winner for me, though, is the Georgia ice cream sandwich.

Whatever. The Georgia peach. I still have half of one in the freezer. Do you really? Yeah. From yesterday? I had it for dessert tonight. You think it's still there?

Oh, no. Doc. Who ate it? Oh, you ate it? You ate the ice cream sandwich? I thought it was communal. It was. It was.

It's great. We're all sharing the Georgia peach. I thought Kyle gave it to whoever came over at 3.30 today. Belinda? Natalia? Natalia? I just wanted to check out the Masters odds right now.

Here you go, House. What do you think Jordan Spieth's odds are? Three to one. Two to one. Okay. Who do you think has the second best odds in the Masters right now? Rory McIlroy. What do you think, Dad? Stenson.

Rory McIlroy, plus 550. Phil Mickelson, 12-1. Henrik Stenson, 16-1. Matt Kuchar, 16-1. Ricky Fowler, 20-1. Tiger Woods, 25-1. Tony Finau. Finau?

Finau, you said it. Finau, who dislocated his ankle and somehow came back and was walking the course today. 35-1. Any long shots, House? My dude Tommy Fleetwood dropped to 66-1, which I don't understand because I thought he did okay today. Well, he's six behind already. True.

Yeah, there's a stat that we uh covered in the shack house where the last some number six seven eight winners of the masters have come from the top 10 so if you look at the top 10 right now it's speed female kuchar stenson reed hoffman that's charlie hoffman adam hadwin uh hao tong li wow holy cow that uh he's chinese rory mcelroy and rafa cabrera belio uh So that's Charlie Hoffman. Adam Hadwin. Haotong Li. Wow. Holy cow. He's Chinese. Roy McIlroy and Rafa Cabrera-Bellio. That is a real international leaderboard. And of that group, I mean, several of those guys.

What about Angry Ian Woosnam? He's not in there? In Woosnam? He's going to go back up to the TV booth. Okay. Snarl people. There's really like, you know, four possible contenders out of that group, I would say. Mark Leishman's in the mix, too. I like him.

Yeah, but he double bogeyed that hole before. He double bogeyed 15. He double bogeyed 15. Yeah. Tiger Woods over under for his round two score. What do you think it is, Dad? Round two from today? for friday uh under par you mean what do you think yeah you have to bet over under uh under i didn't tell you what the number was my dad doesn't know he's asking you to guess the number what what's the

total what do you think vegas said here's here's what we think tiger score will be 69 70 and a half you can bet over under on that so you're going under yeah you're like 70 i like 70 also i like i take the under on that what are the odds are they even the reality is if you remove if you remove the fact that he's super famous and looks like tiger um he didn't seem that much different athletically than 12 guys we saw today. He didn't birdie any of the par fives today. He's not the force of nature, obviously, like he was 10 years ago. But I don't know. I think we want this to happen really badly.

And I think we kind of knew deep down it was a tall task. And you see all these guys, this assembly line of just awesome golfers, like Spieth and Stenson. Like these guys are young and they're strong and they hit the shit out of the ball. And it's not easy for him to hang with these dudes, I don't think.

I think it's like the Celtics, maybe it's a year away. Maybe. He looked good, though. I mean, the power and torque and all that stuff from him looked the same as it did with anybody else. Will Tiger shoot an eagle in round two, Hess? Three to one, yes. Oh, I like that.

I'm going to bet that because I want it to happen. You're going to bet it? Three to one. I like that. Do you think they have a prop? I wonder if that Will Jordan Spieth wire to wire would be an interesting bet. You can bet that at the beginning. I didn't look.

You can bet that before round one. Right, exactly. Will there be a wire to wire winner? And you tend to get pretty good odds at that. It tends to be in the, like, I'm going to get it wrong. I don't want to guess what the odds are. I think Spieth at two to one is pretty good i don't know you put about 66 today i we were looking we're was it oh we me and my dad were looking at that they have all the scores of everyone who won

the masters and there were only two guys who had the 270 nobody in broke 270, right? In the last like 30, 35 years. It was Woods and Spieth. Yeah. Pretty good. Nobody had had the 269, which I didn't realize. That feels like that should be a more important number. The 269 at Augusta? Sure.

It would be incredible. It's more important than fucking Russell Westbrook's triple doubles. I'll tell you that much. Oh, Russell Westbrook has 100 career triple doubles. it's 63 the low score yeah okay speith speith was uh even i think going into the eighth hole today and then joe house and i crossed his pass yeah and he eagled immediately we gave him and then went six down plus he bogeyed 18 he did so could have even had a better round and it was a great bogey save dad what He did. So could have even had a better round. And it was a great bogey save.

Dad, what was your thoughts on the spectators? Did you notice anything? Anything jump out? I noticed one thing. There was one thing I noticed. Nothing jumps out. I mean, it was a male-dominated crowd. I thought they were pretty

respectful i've never seen that many white males in the same place ever i didn't go to any trump's rallies but this was the most white male thing i've ever seen in my life everyone's dressed the same everyone's wearing hats and polos and shorts and holding a beer and it's there's like three four types of guys there's like the one guy with the beard there's like the one short kind of drunk guy there's like the one tall preppy guy and uh it was cracking me up so they had some of the same clothes that you had bought yesterday yeah i tried to fit in welcome to the club last but not least before we go house and i are going to do, really the thing about Augusta, it's the sounds of Augusta.

They say that for a reason. Right. You hear these different noises and you have to interpret what the noise was because they're coming from all around you. They're coming from the hole next to you, two holes over, and you're trying to figure out what happened. So we're going to do a couple of the noises the first noise is the approach shot on 15 where the crowd gets excited because they think there might be an eagle in play which is the oh pretty good that one i like yeah um there's the noise of the par 3 drive that might go in the water where it's like oh like relief the t the t-ball that's that's coming in the fans can see the line because the

nice thing about the way 16 situated yeah and yeah they're just fear that's right but then when it actually goes in the water there's a second noise that's like oh oh oh yeah but then that noise is also the noise when somebody's walking in trying to get back to their seat holding beers and they trip and they spill the beer either all over somebody else or their seat and the crowd goes oh that was a great one that's a great noise uh then of course there's a the the long putt noise which we saw with louis today who took like five minutes to size up his putt much to everybody's chagrin we were complaining and then he did this long it curved around it was like a golden tee putt yeah he has back to the hole and the crowd was suspicious and it was like yeah that's a good one the unexpected birdie yeah the unexpected birdie on the long putt

is probably the best noise yeah but the uh that he stuck it on the par three noise is pretty good um i'm trying to think are there any other noises well the the uh oh there's the respectful way louder than usual but nothing really happened but you know it was tiger woods or jack nicholas or somebody great that's right complete overreaction to a par yes exactly that's one of them the the emotional nurturing support cheer. Oh, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. And then awkward silence usually means something terrible happened. Not in the water, but maybe like the tee shot or the approach shot in the bunker where it's just like, and then you just don't hear anything.

You're like, oh, that's not good. There was a lot of that lot nobody made a noise early in the day when we were uh positioned with our chairs along that 17 16 quarter but guys were playing six it felt like the crowd behind and surrounding the green on six was dead but it's mainly because it's so effing hard guys weren't hitting the ball close right and i gotta be honest it's really hard it's so effing hard. Guys weren't hitting the ball close. Right. And I got to be honest, it's really hard to see a golf ball. Like we were sitting right next to these dudes when they were teeing off, and maybe one out of 10 times we could see the ball.

A part of it could have been some of those on that particular hole, they were going left and they were going right, and it was hard to follow the ball going out into the trees um anything else house i think we conquered it that was it that's a fair rendition of the augusta national a great great great experience thanks for um thanks for forcing us to do this thanks to callaway and thanks to calif for really really pushing us to go and do some podcasts and uh and i said i'm only going if i bring my dad it's on his bucket list and they said that's fine you should bring your dad number one on my bucket list so now what's what's on the bucket list now kentucky derby seriously yeah you want to mint julep? It's a crowd experience, I guess. I'm not going to the Kentucky thing.

It's my daughter's birthday every year. Oh, nephew Kyle will go. They have great Tinder in Kentucky? Great Tinder in Kentucky. Thanks so much for indulging us with these Augusta podcasts. I got to learn

how to say Augusta. I say Augusta. No, no. I enjoyed it. One of the underrated It's my speech impediment. Underrated experiences of the day

was you botching every name that came through. You called Matt Kuchar Kutcher. No, but that's because I have a reading. I know his name's Matt Kuchar but when I read the thing,

I have that reading speech impediment. You could not get Finau for the life of you. I still can't. Finau. Finau. Yeah. Well, Finau is correct. Finau.

Yeah. Finau. What's up with Jonathan Vegas? Is that his real name? He's a garrulous Venezuelan. That is really his name. Is his last name Vegas? Yes.

Johnny Vegas. I feel like he should have been in my life before today. He wins like once every 16 months or so. Is there a guy named Johnny Vegas in golf? Nobody in my life told me this. Hits the ball a mile. Why isn't he Johnny Vegas? I think he would win nine majors if he changed his name to Johnny.

What's more intimidating, Johnny Vegas or Jonathan Vegas? He goes by Johnny. Everybody calls him Johnny. Dad, what happens next? Just a major letdown? You go home and you're just like in a funk for four or five days? No. Or you watch the Masters?

Because I get to watch round three and round four on Saturday and Sunday. This is great. And when you watch it now on TV, aren't you going to feel differently about each hole? Oh, yeah. Because we walked each hole. Yeah. I'm going to tweet about my thoughts about the holes.

All the golf people get mad at me. It'll be great. Thanks to ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire. My listeners can try it for free at ZipRecruiter.com. Thanks to Against All Odds for having me in house on the podcast this week. Thanks to House of Carbs where me, House, and Adam Rappaport broke down

all of the sandwiches at the Masters. Thanks to Shack House presented by Callaway. You can hear House and Shackleford immediately after the Masters on Sunday night, right? Correct. Immediately. Right after.

The Green Jackets going on shoulders and then we're going up. Banging it out. It's a Jordan Spieth party. And thanks to everybody at the Ringer for holding the fort. I will be back on Monday with a brand new BS report. I should mention Andre the Giant is coming. Reviews are out. You can read them.

Just Google Andre the Giant. Things come up Tuesday night, HBO, April 10th. mention andre the giant's coming reviews are out you can read them just google andre the giant things come up tuesday night hbo april 10th jason hair the director is going to be on the podcast this week we got basketball all kinds of stuff i might do four i might do five podcasts next week i don't know i'm doing four i might do five who Who knows? Enjoy the weekend. Thank you, Augusta. On the wayside I'm a bruised son Never lost it I don't have to ever forget