The Bill Simmons Podcast - Star Wars, NFL "Loser Leaves Town" Games, and the Holiday Return of Drunk House With Mallory Rubin and Joe House | The Bill Simmons Podcast

Episode Date: December 20, 2019

HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Mallory Rubin for Mallory's Most Intriguing, in which she shares her top three story lines of the week, including Christian McCaffrey's chance to break a... big record, teams facing playoff elimination, Saturday's impressive NFL slate, and more (3:00). Then Bill talks with Joe House, fresh out of a holiday gathering, to discuss the Presidents Cup and make some Million Dollar Picks (41:40). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Today's episode of the Bill Simmons Podcast is brought to you by State Farm. Just like football, life can be unpredictable. You know who else is unpredictable? Drunk House. He's coming up later. That's why State Farm agents are there to help with over 19,000 agents. A local State Farm agent can be just around the block. Whether you're talking in person, by phone, or through the app, State Farm is there.
Starting point is 00:00:18 Go with the one with coverage and agents you can count on. State Farm. Talk to an agent today. Meanwhile, the Google Assistant is ready to help you get more done with just your voice in the car, at home, everywhere you take your phone. You can ask Google Assistant to help with routines throughout your day. Say one command and the Assistant can do multiple things. For instance, once you've set up a morning routine in the Google Assistant app,
Starting point is 00:00:40 you can simply say, Hey, Google, good morning. And the Assistant can take your phone off silent, adjust compatible lights and thermostats, tell you about today's weather, your commute, what's on your calendar, then play music or news, or even play this podcast right where you're left off. It's kind of amazing. I might have to add that to my morning routine. A little help, hands-free, just say, Hey Google, to get started. Want to tell you about a couple of things. The ringer.com was on fire this week.
Starting point is 00:01:05 So many really good stories, including in any given Sunday, oral history, which coincidentally, not coincidentally, was I think the second rewatchable podcast we ever did. So we have that and there's some great NBA. There's some great year end stuff. Really good article about HBO and how they pivoted with the end of Game of Thrones near and did more content and their whole strategy for
Starting point is 00:01:29 that by Andrew Gurdjieff that I thought was excellent. But a lot of good stuff this week. If you feel like reading some good material, I would highly encourage you to go to TheRinger.com. Ringer Podcast Network. We put up the rewatchables with Godfather Part 2. Longest one we ever did
Starting point is 00:01:45 lots of good arguments from there I'm so happy that America agrees with me on Kate Corleone weak character the people agree you know who's wrong? Brian Koppelman, Chris Ryan, and Sean Fennessey they should all be ashamed
Starting point is 00:01:57 I was right as always you can listen to that podcast on the rewatchables you can also listen to the Book of Basketball 2.0 podcast where Brian Windhorst and I broke down Game 7 2016 NBA Finals, the game of the decade for a lot of different reasons, certainly the most important game of the decade. And we told you all the reasons why
Starting point is 00:02:16 and we really deep dove into that game. And if you care about basketball and you care about LeBron and Cleveland and that whole Golden State season, everything, we emptied the barrel on this one. We did everything we possibly could. So there you go. Coming up, Mallory's going to do her most intriguing
Starting point is 00:02:34 and then my holiday treat to you. A very, very, very special appearance from Drunk House. But first, our friends from Pearl Jam. All right. Sober Mallory Rubin is here. Drunk House is coming up later. Oh, boy. Yeah, boy. Oh, no. We had to put him at the tail end of the podcast for a variety of reasons.
Starting point is 00:03:13 Oh, my goodness. Pun intended when you listen to it. Wow. Yeah, so. What an intriguing tease. What do you got for most intriguing? So I wanted to start for number three today with a team that is not in the postseason conversation at all. In fact, has lost six games in a row, the Carolina Panthers. But here's why. Because the Panthers have been so bad, Kyle Allen has obviously played horribly the last
Starting point is 00:03:41 few weeks, turnover machine. And in fact, Will Greer will be making his first career start this weekend, which is pretty fun. Are you familiar with the Greer family and his brothers are Vine stars? Fascinating family. Worth a Google search. I didn't even know they had Vine stars anymore. I thought we've moved on to TikTok. What happened? I can't say what the Greer brothers are doing on TikTok, but I'm sure it's something. Christian McCaffrey, on a team that nobody is paying attention to anymore, has a chance to break Chris Johnson's yards from scrimmage record. Oh, one of my favorite random records.
Starting point is 00:04:16 Exactly. It's like over 2,400 yards, right? You love a record. So the record that Chris Johnson set was 2,509 yards in the 2009 season. McCaffrey's currently at 2,121 yards from scrimmage. So that means he needs 388 total. 194 in each of the final two games.
Starting point is 00:04:37 Definitely doable. He's playing the Colts and the Saints. Now, they do have strong rush defenses. The Colts are the ninth best rush team. Saints are banged up now. They lost their run stopper. That's right. This is just in terms of
Starting point is 00:04:48 rush yards allowed. Colts don't seem like they have a strong anything anymore. Well, that's the thing. Yeah. I think there's a real chance that he does this. And of course,
Starting point is 00:04:55 the rush D is only part of it because when you put out Greer. So where is he now? 21? 2,121. It's 388 total in the next two games against the Colts and the Saints. Kyle, does that sound doable to you? I think he's going to do it. That seems doable. It's 388 total in the next two games against the Colts and the Saints.
Starting point is 00:05:05 Kyle, does that sound doable to you? I think he's going to do it. That seems doable. Here's the thing. I think on the one hand, your tendency might be to say, oh, they're putting Greer out there. The offense, which is already a mess,
Starting point is 00:05:17 is going to be basically incapable of moving the ball. However, what is a first-time starting quarterback going to do? Constantly. She's going to dump off to McCaffrey the entire time. So even if the opposing defense is putting, you know, loading the box, putting eight men up to try to stop McCaffrey, first of all, he's obviously capable of breaking through that with a few big plays.
Starting point is 00:05:37 But look for the screens. Look for the dump-offs. I think he can get a lot of cheap yardage that way. And I think he can do this. Love a record. It's great. Love what are the iconic NFL records? Because in the old days, a thousand rushing yards, it was a 14 game schedule when I was growing up. And now you're just like a thousand yards seem like a lot of yards. Right. But now you just randomly realized that Carlos Hyde has done that. It doesn't mean anything. Oh, it's, it's like when 25 homers just
Starting point is 00:06:04 became irrelevant sometime in the mid to late 90s in baseball. I mean, certainly the 50 touchdown threshold for a quarterback is massive. 50 titties for QBs. Seeing the homes do that was thrilling. I think, what's up for receivers?
Starting point is 00:06:17 What is it? A couple of people have gotten 2,000 yards, right? Yeah, I mean. I guess like 100 yards a game is impressive. If somebody gets 1,600 yards, it guess like a hundred yards a game is in price. If somebody gets 1600 yards, it feels like a good threshold for receivers. That doesn't feel like a record to me though. That just feels like what,
Starting point is 00:06:32 you know, Deandre Hopkins, I guess more of a benchmark. Michael Thomas are basically capable of doing if they have an excellent season. Of course, we're in the era now where if Brady can throw touchdowns again, Brady and breeze will just be trading the touchdown record
Starting point is 00:06:46 back and forth probably. So that'll be fun. Am I a bad person? Because I'm always annoyed when Drew Breeze breaks these records. Because you want Tom Brady to have them.
Starting point is 00:06:54 No, no. It's not even that. In New Orleans, just like his entire family is there and they have to do the whole thing and Sean Payton
Starting point is 00:07:02 and they have to pretend they like each other. Which part of that annoys you? I've seen this four times. I don't know. I just I'm tired of it. You're tired of Drew Brees loving his family? Win some more Super Bowls. You've only won one. Settle down. What would you rather see?
Starting point is 00:07:16 Like Jimmy G with a harem of women that he's dating? Tom Brady would this game would stop and 40 family members would be in the box and it would turn into this whole 10 minute event.
Starting point is 00:07:29 You're right. You know what we care about? Super Bowls. You're right. Not about like, what stupid record did I break? Bill, you're absolutely right. Tom Brady waits
Starting point is 00:07:36 to make us watch his time with his family for his special Facebook show so that we can watch him kiss his son full on the mouth. And I can choose whether I want to watch that or not. That his son full on the mouth. You're right. And I can choose
Starting point is 00:07:45 whether I want to watch that or not. That's better. That's better. You're right. That's a classy way to do it. That's preferable. Can see his driveway, his nice house
Starting point is 00:07:53 where he goes on his vacation. That's how I want to spend my extra time. When I'm watching football, just keep the game going. Don't stop the game. Keep going. You don't like this?
Starting point is 00:08:03 You don't like this? I think it's great that Drew Brees loves his family. Keep going. You don't like this? I think it's great that Drew Brees loves his family. Keep going. You've been in one Super Bowl in your entire life. Keep going. Maybe he'll be in another one this year. He should have been in one last year.
Starting point is 00:08:17 It is going to be annoying. The record's just going to get traded back and forth. Although with the way the Patriots offense is, it might not get traded back and forth. Drew Brees might be the Patriots offense is, it might not get traded back and forth. Drew Beers might be just gaining the lead. Also,
Starting point is 00:08:29 why don't playoff touchdowns count with this record? I always thought that was weird. I agree. That's always been strange. But, as you,
Starting point is 00:08:36 somebody in a fantasy league with nonsensical postseason rules know, it always gets a little bit woolly in the postseason. True. We should make an official appeal to change that
Starting point is 00:08:45 so that playoff production counts. You should be rewarded for being in the postseason. You should be rewarded. Well, Brady, I always talk about this, but his playoff record, which is obscene now, I can't even remember what it is, but he doesn't get credit for the bye weeks. And the bye weeks should just count
Starting point is 00:09:02 as an automatic win in the playoff for your playoff record. If you have bye week, that's I'm 1-0. I didn't have to play in the playoffs that week. Interesting. You don't like that idea? Lamar should get a playoff. He should have a playoff win for round one.
Starting point is 00:09:13 I don't hate that idea. I think there are some probably unintended consequences of such an adjustment because then what happens is you're going to have all the per game averages would be all fucked up. You know, if you think about it that way, you're actually hurting people by doing that. Hurting what though? Because you'd say you have an extra win. I'm awarding you for your bye. I'm not saying you just get added. I just think it should be addressed in the record. Right. It should say he's 25 and seven in the playoffs and then plus nine on bye weeks or some way to address what's happened.
Starting point is 00:09:46 Yeah. It should be listed on everybody's sports reference page along with, you know, all star pro bowl appearances and hair transplants. Hey, Jesus. He looks great. He's doing great. All you're doing. He's doing great.
Starting point is 00:10:00 All you're doing with the cockiness. I'm not. No cockiness. Ruining Lamar, cold weather Lamar's chances. Cold weather Lamar, the most unproven quarterback in the playoffs. Oh my God. This is already exhausting. I'm not ruining anything.
Starting point is 00:10:13 I'm not cocky. I have plenty of doubt. Brady's 30 and 10 in the playoffs. Great. But we've had at least 12 buys. Why are we talking about this? How did this happen when we're talking about Brady's playoff record? Also, Brady has 73 touchdowns in the playoffs.
Starting point is 00:10:32 That's great. I'm happy for you. Let's see what Brees is. Hold on. Drew Brees wants to stop the podcast so we can look at 40 family members in a luxury box for five minutes. Hold on. His Aunt Chippy is smiling happily. Drew Brees with a whopping 33 touchdowns in the playoffs.
Starting point is 00:10:56 Pretty good. So congrats on your fake record, your fake regular season record, Drew Brees. Oh my God. I like to count my playoff TDs as well. Anyway, what do you have for me? You don't have enough already. You don't have enough. Tom Brady hasn't given you enough. You have to create
Starting point is 00:11:09 this new whole thing. What's your next most intriguing thing? Number two. Elimination watch at last for the Eagles and the Browns. This is finally the weekend. Or not the Cowboys?
Starting point is 00:11:22 Well, the Cowboys can win the division if they beat the Eagles. The Eagles cannot clinch the division if they beat the Cowboys? Well, the Cowboys can win the division if they beat the Eagles. The Eagles cannot clinch the division if they beat the Cowboys. Though they would then, as they say, control their destiny, Bill. Who would they play? It's the Redskins the next week, right?
Starting point is 00:11:37 The Eagles play the Giants. The Eagles end with the Giants. That's right. And Dallas ends with the Redskins. Ends with the Redskins. Yeah, so we can't get rid of the Cowboys yet, but we could get rid of the Eagles. We could say goodbye.
Starting point is 00:11:56 How incredibly well did this line up for the Eagles? Despite all their injuries, all the shitty things that have happened and how bad they look, now they have this double Dak Prescott injury where he's got something going on with his finger, but his shoulder and he's not practicing and nobody knows what to do with the line. The Cowboys are-
Starting point is 00:12:10 The fact that they're even alive at this point, the way the season has gone is astonishing. I mean, the Cowboys and Eagles are in similar spots, obviously not winning the division would be a colossal failure for either of them. But, you know, the Eagles were, the Eagles and Browns, the reason I lumped them together
Starting point is 00:12:25 is because they were really two of the teams of the preseason. Obviously, the Browns were the most hyped team, including here at the Ringer. Not by this guy right here. That's true.
Starting point is 00:12:35 Not by you. I was never buying Freddy Kitchens. You were out on Freddy Soups from the jump. But, I think it's less even about this season at this point and more about the reset for both franchises moving forward.
Starting point is 00:12:49 Who is in a better position to immediately come back next year and contend again? I think it's interesting that the thing that's happening with the Eagles right now, because as you noted, the injuries have been really like catastrophically bad to the point where even when, you know, the narrative has come for Carson Wentz, but even then, you say, well, who could he possibly be throwing the ball to? Basically, Zach Ertz, and that's it. Everyone is hurt. Injuries on both lines. Injuries in all the skill positions.
Starting point is 00:13:14 Jordan Howard's been hurt. Well, then the old man Alshon Jeffrey. Yes. 18 injuries. He finally broke down. Finally. I mean, he's hurt every... He's the proto-Will Fuller. Hurt every week and a half. I'll never forget watching him with Jerry Rice
Starting point is 00:13:30 on the Niners in the 1980s. They were unbelievable together. Man, Alshon Jeffrey used to be truly wonderful to watch. I loved watching him at South Carolina. That's what was so crazy about watching him this year, though. He's athletically so compromised. I know. This has been the week where the Eagles have come out defending Carson Wentz.
Starting point is 00:13:47 Yeah. It's kind of amazing that we've arrived at a moment in time where that's a necessary thing for Carson Wentz. You know why that's happening? It's December on the East Coast. It's fucking miserable. There's nothing else to talk about. The weather's freezing.
Starting point is 00:14:01 Holidays are coming. It's like, bah, humbug. Here it is. It's 12 degrees again, and I'm going to scrape the ice off my car. And they're. It's like, bah humbug. It's here it is. It's 12 degrees again. And I'm going to scrape the ice off my car. And they're pissed off that the Eagles aren't better. And they just need somebody to blame. And you can't even blame Doug Peterson.
Starting point is 00:14:14 Cause you can't do the whole man. If we had Frank, right. Cause Frank Rex team just cratered in Indianapolis. Yeah. So it's, they just look around and it's like, oh,
Starting point is 00:14:22 it's that guy's fault. We've never, he never won the Superbowl with us. Right. What has he actually done that now? That's like sports radio arguments for five days in there. And you're off. The fact that,
Starting point is 00:14:32 I mean, I think we all root for Nick Foles and want him to do well, but the fact that Minshew mania ultimately came for Nick Foles this year twice. Yeah. Is probably one of the only good things that happened to the Eagles this season. Because if Nick Foles were playing well for Jacksonville, and Jacksonville is also about to enter basically a full teardown. Coughlin fired yesterday.
Starting point is 00:14:55 That would be something that seemed like maybe hard for Wentz to overcome, especially given the contract he's on. Not that Foles' contract is— Well, he said it. He said this is the biggest game of his career. That was what I was just going to... Well, he said it. He said this is the biggest game of his career. So that was what I was just going to bring up. And I was like, boy, that's sad. This is the biggest game of your career, this crappy Cowboys team?
Starting point is 00:15:10 I was a little bit shocked when I saw that for the first time. And then I was thinking about it a bit more. First of all, it's presented to him. You know, do you think this is fair to say? It's not like he just came out and said, this is the biggest game of my life. It is still kind of shocking. And then, of course, you have to remember,
Starting point is 00:15:24 well, he didn't,, well, he didn't. You know, he didn't play in the Super Bowl. He was hurt. Nick Foles played in the playoffs and in the Super Bowl. It is still incredible, though. And I think a really emblematic insight into the pressure that the Eagles feel and how big the end of this season really is. If you make the playoffs, you make the playoffs.
Starting point is 00:15:39 And then it's not like the problems go away. But considering the Eagles were held up in the wake of their Super Bowl as not only a team that won a championship, but kind of the new poster team for modern day roster construction, for team building in the present day NFL. That is the thing. More than how any individual player is performing or can stay healthy or whatever. And that is the thing that suddenly becomes a talking point and a seed for doubt. If you make the playoffs, that part of it goes away and you have the position to bounce back quickly. I think that I assume we would agree that it's still 10 times out of 10 pick the Eagles over the Browns if you
Starting point is 00:16:17 had to say, I'm starting with one of these. Well, they also won a Super Bowl two years ago. The Browns have won nothing. They've had two centuries of sadness and they're in a worse place than they were 12 months ago, which seems impossible. It's extraordinary that things two years ago. The Browns have won nothing. They've had two centuries of sadness and they're in a worse place than they were 12 months ago, which seems impossible. It's extraordinary that things have somehow
Starting point is 00:16:30 gotten worse instead of better. The big winners with the Eagles thing is the ringer. Because I think if they go four and one, Chris Long comes back
Starting point is 00:16:37 and then we lose him off the Russolo Monday podcast, which is really good. A wonderful podcast. Yeah. A wonderful podcast. And I feel like there was a moment there
Starting point is 00:16:44 where the Eagles could have been like, hey man, so you're And I feel like there was a moment there where the Eagles could have been like, hey, man, so you're the missing piece. And then he's all of a sudden, we don't have him anymore.
Starting point is 00:16:50 You know what they say, Bill, root for the story. We're rooting for the content here. Yeah. We need the content. That's a great podcast. There's always a chance
Starting point is 00:16:58 that the Browns beat the Ravens, but the Ravens are fighting for seeding, for playoff position, for a bye, for home field. And also the Browns are one of only for playoff position for a buy for home field. And also the Browns are one of only two teams that have beaten them this year.
Starting point is 00:17:08 And that, that game was kind of shockingly lopsided. Now looking back at it, it was before the Ravens obviously got hot and went on this win streak. I don't, I don't think there's any way that the Ravens take that game off. They're coming for the Browns. Let's just say it's covered a million dollar picks.
Starting point is 00:17:24 I'm sure it is. I'm sure it is. Odell, by the way, this has been fun to track going from, you know, They're coming for the Browns. Let's just say it's covered on Million Dollar Picks in our next segment. I'm sure it is. I'm sure it is. Odell, by the way, this has been fun to track going from, you know, all the murmurs about, oh, come get me,
Starting point is 00:17:32 you know, the trade talk bubbling up, the discontent among receivers and various members of the team in Baker to now saying that it's too special. It's too special to leave. You can't leave Cleveland because it's too special. It's too special to leave. You can't leave Cleveland because it's too special. I just find that absolutely hilarious from probably like a self-preservation perspective.
Starting point is 00:17:52 I root for Odell and I really hope he's happy. I still, I mean, I really like watching Baker play and I still hope that he can put it all together. But my God. That's your weirdest take. Liking Baker? I just, I honestly don't see it. I've watched a lot of Browns because I had Nick Chubb
Starting point is 00:18:06 and I had Jarvis Landry. I always had them on the TVs. Either they're fascinating in a dumpster fire kind of way, or my fantasy guys are involved, or Freddie's doing something dumb. I just don't see the talent with Baker. I really don't. I don't get it. But that's not how you felt as recently as four or five weeks ago. I'm just telling you what I've been watching. Now, could you create something that works for him? Yeah, I think you probably could. Is he just a traditional, hey, Baker, go out there and create some plays for us? I don't see it.
Starting point is 00:18:38 No, but the fact that he's not the traditional go out and just do the thing is the inherent proposition. He's not common, right? There's something specific and unique about his style of play and the energy that he brings. Is it unique that he is fucking sucked? Like, seriously, he's absolutely sucked. Well, no, I mean, sadly for Cleveland fans, that is not unique. That is the standard, you know? Because I think if you had him like in the Eagles offense
Starting point is 00:19:05 that they ran to win the Super Bowl, basically that RPO heavy offense, where it's just quick decisions every time, I think he'd be really good. He just completely breaks down as soon as it's over two seconds. He makes the wrong decision over and over and over again. And at some point, it's like you are who you are. If he's making the wrong decision over and over again
Starting point is 00:19:24 on who he's throwing to, I don't know if that's fixable. I don't. It's stunning to see some of the choices he makes like it, like on Sunday. Oh, there's Ricky seal Jones over the middle with two guys on him. I'm going to throw to him over Landry. Who's five feet away and wide open. And you just see that you're like, is this guy good? Yeah. But the offense is broken.
Starting point is 00:19:47 Functionally, the offense and the team are broken. And I think that it's just at the point where the way that things have festered there this year and obviously well beyond it, it makes it almost impossible to disentangle his ability as a quarterback from everything that's unfolding around him. That's fair.
Starting point is 00:20:03 I just think from what I've seen, he's been absolutely terrible. Your point about the time thing is definitely right. He's been, the fact that he has been holding onto the ball as long as he has this year, and then when he is working through his progressions or failing to work through his progressions, is consistently making the wrong choice,
Starting point is 00:20:19 is undeniably a regression. It reminds me of Trubisky. Trubisky has a similar problem where if it's like, if the play hasn't happened in the first two seconds, it's a disaster. He's going to do the wrong thing. And now they've at least figured out,
Starting point is 00:20:35 oh, you know, he's a fucking good athlete. We should roll him out and have these planned things. But it's like, he has to know exactly what's going to happen heading into when he gets
Starting point is 00:20:44 the ball snapped to him or he's screwed. I think that it's possible a part of this is just my college football fandom because the thing that you were just describing is actually contrary to the player that I watched for years. Baker or Trubisky? Baker. Trubisky has always been this guy. But Baker's going to be 25 in April, like at some point.
Starting point is 00:21:02 No, I know. That's true. But the thing that he was able to do, I mean, back at Texas Tech, too, under Cliff, but certainly at Oklahoma in the Lincoln-Riley offense, he was an inventor.
Starting point is 00:21:16 You know, he was an artist out there. It didn't actually... I mean, Lincoln-Riley is a genius. And so the play calling was a huge part of the apparatus of what allowed the Sooners to run that offense and dominate in the fashion that they did. And we have seen, you know, Baker to Kyler, and now Jalen Hurts was just a Heisman finalist after transferring. To do that three
Starting point is 00:21:33 times in a row with three transfers, of course the system is a part of that. But there was never a moment where I watched Baker play and thought he's a system quarterback. He's a product of the system. The way that he was able to improvise on the fly, it was like, you know, we're in a big Star Wars week, new movie coming out, Mandalorian entering the final stretch. The way that he played at Oklahoma and some of what he did as a rookie, it made me think of, Kyle, this is for you, an X-Wing pilot. When you're out there and chaos is unfolding around you, it doesn't matter what your commander told you to do. You just have to be able to react. It's you and your astromech, and you have to figure it out. And he always struck me as a guy
Starting point is 00:22:18 who could do that. That has gone away, and I don't think that's a product of his physical ability or even his mental ability to grasp the game. That feels like that's a product of his physical ability or even his mental ability to grasp the game. That feels like it's a product of the situation that he's in and the toxicity that has crept into that clubhouse this year. So I think the question is, if they reset, can he get that back? Is that a kind of magic he can rediscover? Or is it the kind of thing where like, now again, your point about his age is well taken. Or maybe he was just good in college. Maybe. I mean, sometimes this happens in baseball sometimes, right? With young pitchers. You put them out there,
Starting point is 00:22:47 it goes poorly and they can't, they just can't discover it again. Maybe it'll be something like that, but I'm not quite, as disappointing as the year has been, I'm not quite ready to write him off. I would love to see Lamar Jackson get a single endorsement
Starting point is 00:22:59 instead of watching 25 Baker Mayfield commercials all the time, though. That would be nice. Are you and Kyle done using nerdy Star Wars analogies that I don't understand to describe quarterbacking? Definitely not. Okay, good. I think even you would recognize an X-Wing.
Starting point is 00:23:12 I don't know what that is. We're going to take a break. Let's take a break to talk about Drinkworks Home Bar by Keurig. Much like a premium espresso machine. I always say expresso, but it's espresso. It's like I say Wimbledon instead of Wimbledon. I have pronunciation dyslexia sometimes. The Drinkworks Home Bar makes cocktails,
Starting point is 00:23:37 much like a premium espresso machine would, only it's cocktails. Home bar pods made with premium spirits, real ingredients, and natural flavors. It could be as simple as a delicious vodka and soda. It could be as complicated as a vodka and cranberry. I guess that's not that much more complicated, but they make, it's all drinks like that.
Starting point is 00:23:57 Calibrated perfectly. Over two dozen different drinks to choose from. Something for everybody. Bar quality cocktails, freshly made. The push of a button. The only way to get it at a discount plus free shipping,
Starting point is 00:24:08 go to drinkworks.com. Use my code BS at checkout to save $200 and get free shipping. It's an amazing offer that will not last. It is only for my listeners. Drinkworks.com.
Starting point is 00:24:19 Use my code BS at checkout. And remember, please enjoy responsibly. Drinkworks Home Bar currently available at California, And remember, please enjoy responsibly. Drinkworks Home Bar currently available at California, New York, Florida, Missouri, Pennsylvania, and Illinois locations, meaning the states, with more states available for pre-sale today at drinkworks.com. While we're here, Square makes that little white credit card reader that lets anyone take payments.
Starting point is 00:24:44 They also make Square Stand, the white register that swivels around so you can sign up and tip on it, make your barista happy or whoever. Running and growing business, it takes more than just payments. That's why Square has so many more tools that can help. Like the new Square Card, a business debit card for Square sellers that gets your money to you. As soon as you make a sale, there's no minimum balance fees, overdraft fees, or any other service fee. You also get 2.75% off every purchase at other Square sellers. Seriously, at any and every other seller
Starting point is 00:25:13 that uses Square, you get a discount. Yeah. It's just the latest and greatest from Square. They have so many other tools to help you from point of sale to payroll, no matter what stage of business you're at. See all the ways Square can help you take your business from square one to whatever's next at square.com slash go slash BS. All right,
Starting point is 00:25:33 coming back. Yeah. One more intriguing. Then you wanted to talk Star Wars. I'll begrudgingly do it. What's your last intriguing? I have an intriguing for you. actually. I wanted to throw you after this. Okay. My number one is Saturday. You have three awesome games. What an incredibly fun Saturday. Yeah. Somehow, Saturday in week 16 has erased and replaced what Thanksgiving Day is supposed to be, where you actually have three destination games, staggered programming where each game has its own time frame, its own window. You want to gather either with your family or if you want to avoid them,
Starting point is 00:26:11 that's your excuse to avoid them. You make a day of it. And every single game matters. We have Texans at Bucs, Bills at Pats, Rams at Niners. Playoff implications, seating implications for all of them. The Bucs thing's a bummer because I think losing both of those guys is too tough for them. Yeah. Brashad Perryman as your third guy is awesome, but if he's my number one guy, I'm pretty sure I can take him out. Let me tell you something. As a Ravens fan, seeing Brashad Perryman with multiple touchdowns on the scroll is a real jolt. That's a real am I in the twilight zone thing for me.
Starting point is 00:26:43 Yeah, I thought he was a rookie and then looked at his stats and I was like, oh! I had no idea it was the same guy. I thought it was like a different Brashad Perryman. Pretzel Perryman, yeah. Tough one for you. Brutal. He's good. He's been really good this year. He's stolen some Godwin Evans TDs
Starting point is 00:27:00 from my now dead face. It was all just health for him and then the ability to find his way into the offense. It's not a proud history. I don't have a lot of high hopes for that first game. I think Pat's Bills is going to be an absolutely riveting, ugly game. Pat's Bills is incredible. The fact that the Bills still have a chance to win the division, I mean, it's not going to be easy.
Starting point is 00:27:20 They need to win both this week and they need to beat the Jets in the final week. And the Pats would have to screw. And the Pats would have to lose not only this game, but to the Dolphins. It's not impossible. It's not impossible. It's not impossible. The fact that it is a possibility,
Starting point is 00:27:33 however remote, I think if I recall what our colleague Ben Glicksman told me earlier, I believe 538 is only projecting a 3% chance that the Bills could take the division. It's slight,
Starting point is 00:27:44 but it's possible. And Bill, all you need is hope. Hope is a good thing. Never forget that. Not in this case. Hope is a good thing. Hope is a sad, unhappy thing. It's going to be a slugfest.
Starting point is 00:27:54 It's because of the nature of the style of play for both teams. It's probably going to be one game where we can take a break from concerns about the Patriots offense because you're expecting a low-scoring game heading into it. But the inverse of that is that the Bills defense has been playing exceptionally well, the pass rush in particular. And- I like the Bills team.
Starting point is 00:28:11 I know you do. If Brady has, if Brady leaves another, another egg here, it's troubling. It really is troubling heading into the playoffs. I'm already troubled. So I'm already there. I have a huge smile on my face right now. I've, I've passed the point of being troubled.
Starting point is 00:28:24 And then the last one is that fucking weird Rams team. I know. So the Rams is like, is there a bigger swing between they might be good in this game versus they might actually lose by 30? They can be eliminated from the playoff. I mean, the team that was in the Super Bowl last year
Starting point is 00:28:36 could be eliminated from the playoffs this week. I thought about the Niners for million dollar picks. And I think what's happened to their defense is alarming. You're talking a, a six week stretch here where except for, I think one game they've, they've teams have just gone up and down the field on them. And what the Falcons did last week was nuts. So that game should have been over and your defense, your home, like close the game and they just couldn't do it. And, you know, I hate when the division teams play for the second time,
Starting point is 00:29:05 taking the favorite in those. Cause it always makes me nervous. There's the familiarity, but the, on the flip side, they just annihilated golf the last time. And golf looked at as helpless as he has all season in that game. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:19 And now the Niners defense isn't the same defense, but it's still, that's in the back of my head. Like he was so bad in that game. I expect the Niners to play well and Goff to play poorly. But we'll see. Again, the Rams are fighting for their life. Well, the other thing is if the Niners are a real true Super Bowl contender,
Starting point is 00:29:32 this would be the game they right the ship. Yes. They kick the shit out of the Rams. 33 to 10. Oh, let's take, kind of like what the Saints did last week. There's definitely a possible outcome here where after a Niners title, we look back at this stretch and say that was where
Starting point is 00:29:48 they realized the problems they had to address or that was when they got healthy and dealt with X, Y, and Z. Well, they also had just a lot of tough games in a row. Yeah, their schedule's brutal. That was really rough,
Starting point is 00:29:58 like having that Seattle-Baltimore combo, all that stuff. Yeah. The thing about the Texans about the first game is that, you know, they got through the Titansans about the first game is that, you know, they got through
Starting point is 00:30:06 the Titans last week, but they could still, I mean, they could win the division, they could get a buy or they could miss the playoffs still. That's an incredible possible outcome.
Starting point is 00:30:14 You left out one more record that's at stake. Jameis going for three straight 450s. I knew you would bring it up. No, going for 450 yards in three straight games. He's already broken the record
Starting point is 00:30:24 with two in a row. Good for him. What a fantasy year for him. Swinging fantasy leagues left and right. I mean, it depends on the lead you're in and how many points you lose for interceptions.
Starting point is 00:30:36 True. I mean, goodness. All right, Star Wars. Oh, I have my most intriguing for you. What is it? I was so fascinated by this Jacksonville story. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:44 It was like reading stories about Bud Kilmer and Varsity Blues finally getting forced out and the team pushing the statue over and all the grievances and how they what was it like one third of all player grievances came from Jaguars
Starting point is 00:30:59 and the fact that he fined somebody for sitting on the bench. He just sounded like a fucking maniac. The Furnette thing was pretty remarkable. I mean, it's one of those things where it's kind of astonishing to parse through it all. And you just sort of feel glad that some sort of system is in place that ultimately allowed it to come to light. But it's also like, how is that happening in the first place?
Starting point is 00:31:20 Well, now it makes sense why Jalen Ramsey hightailed it out of there, right? Sure. Because he was basically like, my problem is with one man. And I'm reading this story going, wow, he seems like a nutcase, meaning Jalen Ramsey. But now you read all this other stuff.
Starting point is 00:31:34 Jalen Ramsey is a thoughtful guy. Well, I can't believe that they let it linger this long. I don't understand how you have a situation that dire happening for months and months and months and nobody does anything. What the hell are you doing, ShotKhan?
Starting point is 00:31:51 NFL teams are, they're powered by inertia. I mean, they're not built to actually make meaningful change and address systemic problems. Things linger and fester, and only when somebody is forced to act do they. Unfortunately, that's typically how it goes. Well, you could fire your old fart psychopath vice president. Of course, but the thing is,
Starting point is 00:32:14 we're not actually that many years removed from him being brought in specifically to rebuild, which is kind of strange to think about now, given the youth movement and the nature of change in the NFL in recent seasons, but we're not that far removed from that. Very strange story. Very strange. I think their offseason is going to be fascinating to track. The front office changes. He really sounded like
Starting point is 00:32:34 he was nut job. Potential coaching changes. Who knows what they're going to do with the quarterback situation. Carolina and Jacksonville seem like two completely blowed up teams. I could see both of those. Well, Carolina is owning that already. Yeah. Caroline's been pretty,
Starting point is 00:32:46 pretty blatant about it. Um, Star Wars. Rise of Skywalker, episode nine, the conclusion of the Skywalker saga comes out tomorrow. I got the screener already. What?
Starting point is 00:32:59 Yeah, I have the screener. Hey, dude. Are you going to see it? Are you going to watch it? No, I don't watch Star Wars.
Starting point is 00:33:04 Okay. Well, that's upsetting. We don't have much to talk to see it? Are you going to watch it? No, I don't watch Star Wars. Okay. Well, that's upsetting. We don't have much to talk about if that's your answer to the question. I know what's going on. It's, here's,
Starting point is 00:33:12 here's what I'll say. You know, I don't want to, I've seen the movie. I've screened it. We should mention you host a podcast called Binge Bunch Star Wars on the Ringer Podcast Network.
Starting point is 00:33:20 Please give it a listen. We have many hours of Star Wars content there waiting for you. I, I'm obviously not going to spoil anything for anyone because most people will not have a chance to see it till this weekend. But the thing that's interesting to me, in addition to the fact that this is the, you know, Star Wars is not going anywhere. And I refuse to believe that even the Skywalker saga is over. But nominally, it's the end of the skywalker saga and currently on rotten tomatoes
Starting point is 00:33:47 the film has a 58 rating from critics it's getting absolutely panned and looks awful last jedi the prior movie was very divisive i personally loved it i'm sure a lot of people will get in my mentions about that but but I don't care. I stand by the take. It was an important, courageous movie that moved the story forward in a lot of ways that I thought were important and good, and that if you love fantasy stories, you should appreciate. Heading into this film, there seemed to be a concerted, organized effort among the people involved with making Star Wars to walk back and distance themselves from the prior film, which I took to be a troubling sign.
Starting point is 00:34:35 That happened with the Halloween franchise. When they would come with a new Halloween sequel, they'd be like, hey, those last three were not going to pretend those didn't happen. Yeah. So I think talking about what actually happens in the movie and the plot of Star Wars and how Rey's arc and Kylo's arc and everything else concludes, shouts to my dude BB-8, best droid and best character of all time. I think it's an interesting moment to assess the state of Star Wars.
Starting point is 00:34:57 And certainly given the success of the Mandalorian and the joyous collective celebration of Baby Yoda and everything happening on that front, if the primary film franchise staggers and we're only a couple years removed from the solo film not going well, directors, people pulled off the project, a lot of changes, Kevin Feige now coming in really interesting time for Lucasfilm and Disney and watching what's happening with how they are making Star Wars
Starting point is 00:35:28 and what they want to make and in what ways they want to make it isn't it embarrassing that Mandalorian is more kind of grabbing the cultural zeitgeist
Starting point is 00:35:37 than this movie might well if this movie's not good I think that the you know the movie's gonna Adam Driver's playing Kylo Murray right
Starting point is 00:35:44 Kylo Kylo kylo ren kylo ren kylo ren kyle should we should we tell bill that his name is kyle ren this yeah poe dameron you would like poe he flies an x-wing is general hulk in this one or no hawks emperor Palpatine? Whoa, he said that one right by accident. I'm just reading off the IDB. He's familiar with Palpatine, of course, from the original trilogy.
Starting point is 00:36:11 All right, so you're not into Star Wars. Well, I hope that everyone out there has a meaningful Star Wars experience. And it's a special moment in our culture. It's also potentially devastating in the same calendar year for Game of Thrones and Star Wars to end like this. Oh, so you think this is potentially it?
Starting point is 00:36:28 Well, no. They're going to keep making Star Wars forever. I mean, literally nothing in the world is built to withstand a stumble better than Star Wars. I mean, the prequels, you know, people loathed the Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones, and it didn't make a damn bit of difference. Right. People love Star Wars. People are always going to want more Star Wars. I just think that the nature of how Disney thinks
Starting point is 00:36:47 about making Star Wars could potentially hit a little bit of a reset, which is fascinating to track. I have a pivotal Star Wars question for you that I think is more important than any of these other things. Okay. George Lucas comes to you and says,
Starting point is 00:37:00 my hair beard thing, I'm starting to feel like maybe it's not working for me. What should I do? What would you tell him? Would you tell him to go bushier with the beard? Would you tell him to do like a long KG kind of chin thing? Yeah. With a little mustache?
Starting point is 00:37:22 Like what would your move be? Shave his head? No, I definitely would recommend a Mandalorian helmet full Beskar helmet you know okay iconic look
Starting point is 00:37:33 one of the most recognizable images in all of the world is the Mandalorian helmet I think I think that would be the move for George but here's the thing about George Lucas he sold Lucasfilm for $4.05 billion. It's amazing.
Starting point is 00:37:46 He's fine. No matter what, he's fine. It's amazing. Also, he made Star Wars. He's fine. What a run for George Lucas. And American Graffiti. This is great.
Starting point is 00:37:55 Yeah. Well, I mean, American Graffiti, a huge influence on Star Wars. It's just cars in space. Yeah. The X-Wing, which you said you didn't know, like a race car.
Starting point is 00:38:05 There you go. Of course, Harrison Ford. I think Fast and Furious has replaced Star Wars. I mean, that is just not true, but sure. Does it make more money? Definitely not. No way. The Fast and Furious movie doesn't make more money than Star Wars?
Starting point is 00:38:22 How much does Star Wars make globally? The Force Awakens, which was episode seven, I think crossed $2 billion. Oh, damn. That got half of the purchase price of Lucasfilm back. Just in one movie. It sounds like this one
Starting point is 00:38:35 is tracking to make a little bit less, which is not a good sign. Well, it's been a great movie year. Sure has. I've really enjoyed
Starting point is 00:38:44 a lot of them. Adam Driver. Great year for him. Kylo Ren and Charlie from Marriage Story all at once. And he's got the report. What a time for him. Great time. Great time for you.
Starting point is 00:38:54 Mally Rubin. Happy Hanukkah. Hey, thank you. Merry Christmas. Happy holidays to you. Happy holidays. Yeah, happy holidays to you. We'll see you on the other end of the new year.
Starting point is 00:39:04 Okay, we're not doing this next week. Nobody's going to be here. I'll be here. I'll to you. We'll see you on the other end of the new year. Okay. We're not doing this next week. Nobody's going to be here. I'll be here. I'll be here. You let me know if you need me. Maybe we'll do it next week. Bye.
Starting point is 00:39:12 And now it's time for the State Farm Safe Bet of the Week. The player you can count on. Just like football, life can be unpredictable. Like the two Super Bowls Eli Manning won. That's why State Farm agents are there to help with over 19,000 agents. A local State Farm agent can be just around the block, whether you talk in person, by phone, or through the app. State Farm is there. Go with the one with coverage and agents you can count on. Kind of like the person we're about to talk about,
Starting point is 00:39:39 who you can count on exactly half the time over the course of his career. Eli Manning. He's 117 and 117 with two games to go. These are probably going to be the last two games of his career unless a GM from another team has a head injury and signs him to make him starting quarterback. Here are the stakes for Eli. He plays the Redskins in Washington this week, and then he's home for the Eagles the next week. So he's got to go one for two to get to 500 for the year. Because as you know, nobody who goes under 500 as a starting quarterback
Starting point is 00:40:10 who's played more than 200 games should ever be in the Hall of Fame. Let's be honest. He's got to go one for two. This Washington game, there are going to be no Redskins fans there. The Redskins fans are horrified by this team, by the franchise, by going to the stadium. It's going to be cold. You know who's going to be there? Giants fans saying goodbye to Eli. That feels like a glorified home game for him. And then the next game, week 17, Philly at the Giants. If Dallas beats Philly this week, Philly's basically out of it.
Starting point is 00:40:38 So who knows who they're going to start. I just know Eli's going to win one of these two games. Because sometimes, I know I've won a lot of titles as a Boston fan, which is why God does a couple things just to annoy and pester me for the rest of my life. One of those things is going to be under 500 for his career. And then I could make fun of all the giant fans that I know that he's not a hall of famer because he went under 500. I mean, at that point you might as well be like Gus Farratt. I know he's going to win one of these two games and I'm not going to have that either to Lord over my giant fans friends. So count on this. He's winning in Washington or the next week he is going to take care of business
Starting point is 00:41:26 at home at the Eagles. And then I'm sure he's going to become an announcer and he gets to torment me in other forms of my life as I listen to him announce games that I bet on. Probably games that I'll lose. State Farm. Talk to an agent today.
Starting point is 00:41:41 All right. So it was a very busy week on the podcast front here. I did the podcast with Sal. I had Kevin Garnett and Adam Sandler. I did the longest rewatchables we've ever done, The Godfather Part Two. Put up an hour-long video, me and Marcelo breaking down the 12 best moments of the NBA season. And then if that wasn't enough, a book of basketball podcast about the most important game of 2000, the 2010s, which we picked game seven, 2016, did that with Brian Windhorst, the finals, LeBron, the block, all that stuff. And at this point, it's like, I'm having the greatest podcast slash multimedia week that I've had in 2019. What is the last piece we can have here? And the answer to that is drunk house.
Starting point is 00:42:27 And we've invited drunk Joe house. He's from coming from a holiday party, America, water. And he's here. This is where it all comes to a, to a screeching call. Bill Simmons.
Starting point is 00:42:40 I mean, this is where, honestly, this is where a drunk house, the old, the origin, the origin story a drunk house, the old, the origin, the origin story of drunk house is this moment. Uh, I think a year ago, or maybe it was two years ago. I don't, I don't remember any longer. Every year I get together with this group of friends around this time of year, we go out, we sit down like gentlemen we have uh at lunch you know we order drinks seafood tower some
Starting point is 00:43:08 steak we try and think about all the great things in our lives that have happened all the blessings that we have and we lose our fucking mind so uh i've come back from that it's 5 15 on the east coast and i just arrived back to my office from this lunch because that's how long a holiday lunch goes and this might be the last podcast you ever have me on well the good thing is it's possible. It's like, is he up to this task? Cause like, I mean, I can't tell you, I will tell you the searches that I've already done to prepare for this podcast, but they're not good searches. They're not good places. I've already, I'm already in dark places. Well, you haven't been on in a couple of weeks. We had the holiday break.
Starting point is 00:44:05 The last time you were on was right before Thanksgiving. We talked about Thanksgiving stuff and things people should eat and all that. Now we're heading toward Christmas. Another time that is very sacred for you because it involves more eating and more reasons to gather with large things of food on the table, sharing, picking, multiple courses, cookies, brownies. You're getting holiday treats in the mail. What's been the highlight so far from a food standpoint? I mean, all this is true. It's a beautiful thing. And yet on my browser right now, I have opened an incognito window where it says top 20 best 2019. Like, I mean, what am I looking at?
Starting point is 00:44:56 Am I looking at backdoor covers by the Seattle Seahawks? Yes, I am looking at that. That's exactly what I'm looking at. Why am I on this browser at this moment? I need some help from Kyle. I'm very excited. This is a great time of year. There are seafood towers literally every two days of the week.
Starting point is 00:45:21 A seafood tower. Shrimp cocktail every day of the week. Vodka martini every other day today oh listen to this bill simmons this is i think you you might get down with this this is the time of year for this kind of drink this is my drink at a at a holiday lunch by the way lunch is dead we did the hottest take on this yeah but a holiday lunch with your pals that's an exception. That's a whole different thing. Lunch is not dead when you're getting together to celebrate something with a group of pals.
Starting point is 00:45:53 You know a lot of the guys I got together with for this lunch. These are some great mutual friends of ours. Yeah, but that's beyond a lunch, though. That's almost like an event. That doesn't count as a lunch. I agree. That's exactly right. Here's the drink. Here's my go lunch, though. That's almost like an event. That doesn't count as a lunch. I agree. That's exactly right. Here's the drink.
Starting point is 00:46:08 Here's my go-to drink. I walk in, I sit down, and I say, I want a Bloody Mary. I want three olives. And I want you to put lots of vodka in that Bloody Mary. And I want you to bring me a double shot of vodka in a separate glass. Just put it next to it. And then what I do is I drink the top of the Bloody Mary. I take the lemon or the lime, the olives.
Starting point is 00:46:35 I take it all out. I eat the olives. I squeeze the lemon and lime in. And then I have a double shot of vodka sitting next to my Bloody Mary. And I just pour it in. Topper. I have a ready-made topper to go on to my Bloody Mary. And it's absolutely delicious.
Starting point is 00:46:54 I can't recommend it enough. The Bloody Mary Vodka Topper as your holiday drink. The only person I love more than Drunk is double gummy bear house, who I met when you and Jacko and blue boy came for my belated birthday. And we spent all of Saturday watching college football and the blue boy brought out gummies and had a little more experience than us. And we had a gummy and it was great. And it was like definitely a different way of watching the game. I enjoyed it. I'm not a huge gummy guy because I hate the whole not knowing how much is in, when it kicks in.
Starting point is 00:47:33 Do you take a little more? But then the other one hadn't kicked in yet. And now two things are kicking in. I've just never been able to master it. So anyway, we do the one gummy. And then around 6.30, we're feeling good. And I think somebody said to Blue Boy, should we do maybe split a second gummy? He's like, all right, I've already had a second one. And I was like, I'll split a gummy with House. House,
Starting point is 00:47:58 you want to split a second gummy? House is like, great. And then Blue Boy goes, House, what happened to the second gummy I gave you? And House goes, I ate it. So you had already eaten the second gummy. And then you went into, I guess it could be described as a wake coma. Is that what you would call it? Look, it was a great time.
Starting point is 00:48:23 We were in Los angeles the weather was spectacular it was november i'd come from the east coast these gummies the effect that i experienced was like they they had this they created this warming sensation yeah connected me with the beach we were at the beach and i couldn't keep track of how many i consumed all i knew is i was in a warm safe place with my buddies yeah and i felt terrific i why why do i need to keep track well i'm just saying double gummy house is a different animal than drunk house i know it's impossible to get them in the same room, but it would be really fun to see them interact. Cause I think double gummy house would just be quietly staring at drunk
Starting point is 00:49:10 house. Who would be carrying the conversation I think is how it would go. That's probably true. And drunk house would be eating more. Yeah. Double gummy house doesn't care about......with......on 2019. Kyle's just marking all of these for later. Kyle, mark this!
Starting point is 00:49:33 So, we had a really fun golf thing last week that I've been saving to talk to you about. The President's Cup. Oh! You were the only person I knew who cared about it, but then it turned out a lot of people cared about it, and America came roaring back. It was super fun.
Starting point is 00:49:49 There were pressure putts. There were Patrick Reed's caddy. Getting into like a legitimate altercation with a drunk Australian fan and then getting heckled and booed the whole next round. Captain Tiger Woods strapping it on, just saying, I'm going to have the biggest balls in this team, going 3-0, being the first guy in the last day to set the tone
Starting point is 00:50:12 showing the leadership and kind of friendship we'd never seen from him and he has moved into this really bizarre place in his career of this man of esteem who everyone looks up to. He's kind of like the guy now in a totally different way than he used to be where
Starting point is 00:50:30 it actually seems like he has friends. I described it to somebody today is he's like the guy you never heard from all through high school who was getting a 4.0 and was on the archery team and had all these things and was headed to Harvard and didn't hang out with anybody. But then like the last semester of senior year starts hanging out and going to parties and making friends. And it's like, oh, this is great. I'm so glad we're getting to know each other. That's kind of how I feel about Tiger Woods. Does that make sense? It makes sense. I'll quibble with a couple aspects of it. First of all, he has changed. So he's a different guy now. He's not the guy who was a dick 20 years ago. He's mellowed over time and he is benefited by the fact that there is now in his life, a generation of young golfers who grew up revering him, idolizing him.
Starting point is 00:51:32 And they are peers because, uh, this is the great thing about golf. You can play golf for 50 years and P and be great at it for like 30 years. You can be great at golf, like age 19 up to age 49, 50, early 50s. And so he is now playing with young folks who have been idolizing him, who were raised on his legend, and they want to perform well for him. And he, you know, all credit to him over the last like half decade, maybe full decade,
Starting point is 00:52:10 because of all the experiences of his life, the combination of life challenges and injuries have given him a new perspective. And he is ready at this moment to be a leader. And this is his first chance. He was the captain of the President's Cup, the United States team competing in Australia. I covered all this. I covered all that part, Hess.
Starting point is 00:52:36 I already covered that in the intro. These young guys wanted to impress him. They wanted to show him how much they appreciate him. They want to help him how much they appreciate him. They wanted, they, they want to help further the legacy, the tiger legacy. So the one thing that he hasn't had up to this moment, he has 82 wins on the PGA tour. He has 15 major wins. What he doesn't have is a bunch of wins as a captain of United States golf teams. And so these young guys are trying to do that part to help further his legacy.
Starting point is 00:53:12 And by the way, his legacy is already established. We've seen his giant dong. He has a beautiful, I mean, it's ginormous, an enormous dick that came out through all these pics between him and Lindsey Vaughn. So like he doesn't need any extra help. He's already out there. But you know, the every,
Starting point is 00:53:33 everybody's ready to, to, to further that legacy. God bless Tiger Woods. Well said. I don't really know where to go. I enjoyed the call. They won! We're all winners! USA!
Starting point is 00:54:19 USA! What happens with Ryder Cup? Is he the captain for that or is it somebody else? No, no, it's already Steve Stricker, but Tiger will, you know, they kind of plan for these things. Tiger will be the captain at perhaps the 2022 or 2024. I haven't paid enough attention to see where they are in terms of the orientation, but Steve Stricker is um firmly entrenched as the captain of
Starting point is 00:54:46 the 2022 team at whistling straits where we may go play i don't know we were supposed to go play this fall it didn't happen but we might go play together me you and some other other pals we might go play we might go try that course out give it some some old. I thought it was. You said 2022. It's 2020, though, isn't it? It's next year. No, but I'm saying is the 2020 is already set. That's Steve Stricker as the captain. Well, it's saying it's Tiger could be the captain in the next couple of years.
Starting point is 00:55:15 It's said until they convince you they need to convince Steve Stricker to just step down. No, no. Steve Stricker is from Wisconsin. Like that's that's that's a locked in he's already been doing we need to we need to impeach the european captain and now we need to impeach him well well you know what he does not have a giant i know that much The Patrick Reed caddy stuff was fantastic. Everything about the Patrick Reed experience
Starting point is 00:55:59 was fantastic. The thing is, I felt like he was slipping a little as America's villain. He had this great piece of turf. Really You know, he had this great piece of turf. Really? No, he had this great piece of turf, and I didn't feel like he was protecting it in the right ways. And I think having a caddy get into an international incident, I think, was a great move for him as we leave 2019. What about fucking cheating a Tiger Woods tournament?
Starting point is 00:56:24 Does that help that also that also was great put his golf club behind the ball and scooped out the whole all the room behind the like the the only rule that you learn as a golfer like the first time you touch a golf club if you want to go play on a golf course, you can't improve your lie. You can't grab your fucking golf ball by your hand and prop it up and sit it up high. You can't get into a bunker and fucking prop it up and clean out all the sand behind it. This motherfucker has been playing golf for like three quarters, 80% of his life, and he takes his golf club and treats it like a goddamn shovel behind his ball at Tiger Woods
Starting point is 00:57:10 tournament and fucking is like, ah, I'm just going to take, I'm going to clean it out a little bit here twice. It's like taking the shit all over Tiger Woods. And then he's like, well, I don't think I did anything all that wrong. The angle was bad. The TV was bad. I didn't do it. I don't think I did anything all that wrong. The angle was bad. The TV coverage was bad.
Starting point is 00:57:25 It's wonderful. I don't do anything wrong. I'm so mad. We talked in Happy Gilmore about what it would be like if we had a real-life Shooter McGavin when we did the Happy Gilmore rewatchables. And I was saying that Brooks Koepka is kind of keeping a little bit of the spirit alive because he's a dick
Starting point is 00:57:42 and he says stuff like, you know, it's not a rivalry with Rory. Like, Rory's never beaten me. He does that kind of keeping a little bit of the spirit alive because he's a dick and he says stuff like, you know, it's not a rivalry with Rory. Like Rory's never beaten me. And he said, he does that kind of stuff. But Patrick Reed is the real shooter McGavin. This is the destiny for him over these next 78 years is to be the ultimate golf villain. It's all in his grasp now. It's great. The caddy thing was great. The fact that Australia has now rallied against him is wonderful. It's just a huge win. It's in his DNA. He wants to be the villain. That's great. It's terrific for golf.
Starting point is 00:58:12 I love it. As a person that has to talk about golf in 2020, I'm very excited to talk about Patrick Reed. There's a touch of Kenny Powers in him too, which I also appreciate. When's fairway wrong? We're planning out the schedule for next year.
Starting point is 00:58:28 But I think the fun thing about golf now is it really, the season is so easy to see now. And it really like kicks in starting that Phoenix open pebble beach stretch, but then just kind of goes all the way through August. And then we lose steam, but then, the Ryder Cup comes back. I think the 2020 is going to be fantastic. I can't wait. Me too.
Starting point is 00:58:51 I mean, 2019 was an incredible golf season. While fairway rolling was sort of dark from the end of August until now, a whole bunch of dramatic shit happened, including Tiger Woods winning his 82nd PGA title. Right. And all this stuff with Patrick Reed. I mean, the stories are terrific. Golf is God bless golf. It's like a 24-7 kind of thing in its own way.
Starting point is 00:59:21 I mean, it's not like the NBA or the NFL. No. But the storylines are good storylines. They're fun. And how great was it to be sitting there second week of December? We have primetime golf in Australia. The golf course is beautiful. It's incredible.
Starting point is 00:59:38 Royal Melbourne are unbelievable, unparalleled, like definitely worthy of hosting majors kind of venue. It's warm. Like everything about just sitting there watching it at 10 o'clock at night and seeing the best guys, many of the best guys playing golf in mid-December. Yeah. It just felt like, you know, we're not worthy. What a, what a great time to be alive. I loved, uh, I loved the time zone difference.
Starting point is 01:00:03 And I especially loved when I got confused at one point after watching it for 40 minutes on Saturday and texting you about Matt Kutcher. And then you telling me it was actually taped from the night before. After I'd put in a solid 38 minutes watching it, rooting for our guys, not realizing it wasn't the final round yet. So that was great. The Australian time difference. Come back to help me. Hey, let's talk about uncut gems from A24 and the Safdie brothers.
Starting point is 01:00:33 You might remember the Safdie brothers from the rewatchables. Happy Gilmore. In the movie, Adam Sandler plays a jeweler in the New York Diamond District, running around town, making crazy bets on basketball games, borrows money from one guy to pay another guy.
Starting point is 01:00:45 He's trying to sell a diamond Furby to Celtics legend Kevin Garnett. The actual Kevin Garnett starts completely losing his mind. Meanwhile, everyone in town's after him. The whole thing spirals out of control. And guess what? People love this movie. Did great last week on a screen by screen basis. There's a lot of Oscar buzz. Critics are raving about Sandler's performance, all the supporting characters, including Lakeith Stanfield in The Weeknd and Mike Francesa. Yeah, the Pope, he's in this movie. You got to check it out. I loved it. I'm going to watch it again over the holidays because I got the screener, but it's great to see in the theater uncut gems in theaters everywhere this christmas which leads me to house did you hear did you hear the kevin garnett interview yet that we did on tuesday i i've seen snippets of it yeah i will tell you already i'm an all-time i i
Starting point is 01:01:38 can't i i can't enjoy it enough him killing you onq being out of shape is an all-timer. Already an all-timer. He was so, it was, I loved it so much. And I, you know, I've done a lot of these pods over the years. And, you know, when you have the celebrities, they always have their person or their people with them and they're on a schedule. And sometimes you have to kind of wrap it up. And when, when one of his people gave me the finger circle,
Starting point is 01:02:05 wrap it up like five minutes. And then it's like, really start wrapping it up. We got to go. I was sad. I felt like there was so much KG left to explore. And Sandler was unbelievable. He was just like,
Starting point is 01:02:18 we were both just sending pics for KG and just letting him shoot all over us. And it was fantastic. I loved it. Yeah. You were, you were letting him shoot all over you. I hope he had a towel to clean up afterwards. Just have him back. Just bring him back. It's KG. Like what else do you have to do? Here's the only thing that I have to quibble with KG absolute legend. What's the point of him staying in shape? Like he's not going to play in the NBA anymore. He can't play in really any professional sport. He's already in perfect shape to play in the big three.
Starting point is 01:02:53 So he's not really, doesn't need to be in shape of the big three in the big three. KG live life a little bit, buddy. How about a little bit of ribeye? How about the way you said I had at lunchtime today? Pour yourself a great big nine ounce Pinot Noir and enjoy a Wagyu hamburger. Like, go ahead and enjoy it.
Starting point is 01:03:13 I think he should do it. That's something to take a look at, buddy. I think he should do what Will Chamberlain did and just take over beach volleyball. Oh, I'm glad you said take over beach volleyball. Sorry. You thought I was going to another window. I didn't want to have to go into another incognito window and look up, you know, 20,000. No, no, no, no.
Starting point is 01:03:36 Come on. The, the, uh, I took him into my. Kyle, edit that. I took him into, uh, I took him and Sandler in my office because KG is like a real pop culture I had no idea like he really knows all he had the same references that we have
Starting point is 01:03:54 and I took him into my office I took him into my office to see the posters and he was really entranced with the Wilt poster and it was like there he is that guy was the man and he loved with the Wilt poster. And it was like, there he is. That guy was the man. And he loved the jam session poster. It was...
Starting point is 01:04:08 It was... He just... I didn't realize he had that kind of reservoir. I just thought he was the dude that just played basketball. But I think... You realize with these basketball players, they have so much time by themselves. Movies and TV and music are so important to them because they can't go anywhere. Where's he going when he's in like memphis on a thursday night playing the grizzlies
Starting point is 01:04:29 the next day what's he gonna do he's super literate in that stuff right yeah i would say as he could easily have worked in the ringer in another lifetime but and same you know stay in there obviously same thing like just wants to hang out with his buddies and just cares about, um, all the stuff we care about. So like for podcast guests, they were perfect. I, I left it thinking we have not tapped into KG's media potential yet. That was my biggest takeaway. It was like, this is somebody that is not, nobody has figured out how to use him yet. It's like the Ravens when they built the – they figured out what Lamar Jackson was great at and just built their entire team around him
Starting point is 01:05:11 and accentuated all the things he was great at. I feel like that would work for KG. He's not a traditional guy. He's not somebody that should be on countdown. He's somebody that should be in a loose format with somebody pushing the right buttons and sending him certain directions then he does his thing
Starting point is 01:05:27 I don't think Area 21 was like that for him no that's your conclusion Area 21 I mean they had him hosting it he shouldn't be hosting it he's the scorer he can't be the point guard you need the point guard
Starting point is 01:05:43 setting him up and putting, he has this incredible wealth of information. Anyway, I was more fascinated by the time the pot ended. We're going to do a million dollar picks in a second, but let's take a quick break. One more time, let's talk about State Farm. Remember, just like life, football can be unpredictable. And just like life, football can be unpredictable. And just like football, life can be unpredictable.
Starting point is 01:06:08 Yeah, see how I mixed that up? State Farm agents there to help over 19,000 agents. A local State Farm agent realistically could be just around the corner. Whether you talk in person, by phone, through the app, or telepathically, State Farm is there. Go with the one with coverage and agents you can count on. State Farm. Talk to an agent today. Meanwhile, if you love betting on sports, you're going to really love FanDuel Sportsbook. Right now, it's only available in New Jersey, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, and Indiana. But with FanDuel, winning is only a few taps away. They offer
Starting point is 01:06:42 an amazing feature called Same Game Parleys. Other sportsbooks might only let you parlay bets from different games. Not FanDuel. You could take the Bills-Pats game this weekend. You could bet Bills plus six and a half. You could bet the under. You could bet the under on Brady touchdown passes. Throw them all into one wonderful parlay and enjoy yourself.
Starting point is 01:07:05 If you're new to FanDuel Sportsbook, you get your first bet risk-free just for making your first deposit. FanDuel will refund you up to $500 in site credit. If you don't win, sign up to FanDuel with promo code BS. So FanDuel knows we sent you FanDuel Sportsbook, promo code BS. Must be 21 plus and physically present in New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Indiana, or West Virginia. Site credit non-withdrawable.
Starting point is 01:07:23 Expires 14 days after receipt. Terms apply. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. Or in West Virginia, visit 1800GAMBLER.net. Or in Indiana, call 809-WITH-IT. All right, million-dollar picks. We broke even last week, one for one.
Starting point is 01:07:42 And the Titans that we lost, they were plus 105. I would have gone against the Titans last week. You didn't ask my opinion. I would have gone against the Titans. Well, I was riding them until they lost. I get it. They did the same thing with the Colts. I'm up 1.617 million.
Starting point is 01:08:01 Had a little trouble with the slate this week. The game that I like the most, by far, is unfortunately the team that's playing my favorite football team, the New England Patriots. Yeah, I get it. We'll start there. The Bills are plus six and a half against a Patriots team
Starting point is 01:08:21 that the Tom Brady stats are alarming. The last five weeks out of the 29 starting quarterbacks, he bait, she'll compete. He did this. He did tweet about it. He wrote about it too. He's 29th out of 29th and like all the relevant quarterback categories for
Starting point is 01:08:39 five straight weeks. Nobody's open. They can't totally block for him. They're having trouble running the ball because of the offensive line problems. He has no deep threat. All these defenses are now just kind of moving up. They're doubling Edelman. Nobody else is able to get open. And I don't think this is something that changes. And then you look at the Bills and what they did to a team like the Steelers last week, who was Duck Hodges, and they don't have the same skill position, guys. But they're just really good at shutting not that good offenses down.
Starting point is 01:09:12 And so on that end, I think it's dangerous. And then on the other end, can they move the ball and kick a couple field goals and can Allen create a couple plays? Can they get a couple screen passes to Singletary, who I think is going to be a real problem for the Patriots on the swing passes? I don't like the matchup at all. Earlier in the season they played, it was 16-10 in Buffalo and the game was ugly and the Pats fans all shrugged it off like it was just a bad game. And it was actually kind of a sign for maybe where
Starting point is 01:09:39 the season was going a little bit. My point is, I think the line should be three. I think these teams are dead even. They both have really good defenses. They both have offenses that have really, really struggled, especially against good defenses. And it just, to me, feels like a 16 to 13, 13 to 10, 14 to 12, one of those kind of games. And I don't know who's going to win, but to give Buffalo six and a half is nuts. So that's my first one. What do you think of that? I totally agree with everything that you just said. What is there about what we've seen out of New England over the last six weeks?
Starting point is 01:10:21 The only thing that you would point to is like the legend of Tom Brady, the legend of the new England Patriots, the Patriots historical performance at Gillette in December, uh, the, the, the sort of, uh, historical bad performance, uh, looking backwards by Allen, but none of that applies to this particular circumstance at this particular moment in time, 4 30 PM this coming Saturday, the Buffalo bills getting six and a half. If they don't fuck up on the turnover side, if they don't fuck up on the turnover side, if they don't fuck up with a blocked punt, this is a close game that's going to come down
Starting point is 01:11:08 to kind of a single possession. And it should be like a field goal. Three, three and a half should be the line. It feels like you're getting three free points because it's the New England Patriots. And here's my problem with it. And look, they brought me an incredible amount of joy the last 20 years,
Starting point is 01:11:30 but it's a line based on past performance. It's a line that doesn't have anything to do with who the Patriots are as a football team right now. They're throwing an extra three points because it's the Patriots. And we've seen this in sports over and over and over again. When you're holding onto whatever the past performance thing was, at some point,
Starting point is 01:11:50 you're going to get burned. It happens in boxing all the time. It happens in football all the time. And in basketball, especially, we see that we would do this with the Spurs for how many years in the playoffs or, oh, they're the Spurs. They're not going to lose to the Clippers. They're the Spurs. And at some point it has to end. And I don't know if, I don't know where this Patriot season goes. I'm not optimistic. You know, I still hope the infrastructure can somehow figure this out and their defense is awesome. And maybe there is a last year of Peyton Manning Broncos blueprint with them going forward.
Starting point is 01:12:22 I just know that they shouldn't be favored by six and a half over the bills. I think that's stupid. And if you're treating this like a playoff game, which it is, it is a playoff game. If this is a playoff game, the line would not be six and a half.
Starting point is 01:12:34 It would be three and a half. They had a lot of people sweating last week against the Bengals where the historical precedent for the Patriots is, you know, coming off of, of back-to-back losses. They come out, they dominate a bad team. They come out and kill a bad team. And they had everybody nervous through the first half of that game. Now, they did come out in the third quarter and flip the switch.
Starting point is 01:13:01 And it took some Bengals turnovers. The defense flipped the switch, though. The defense flipped the switch. and it took some Bengals turnovers. The defense flipped the switch, though. The defense flipped the switch. That's the point. If Buffalo does not turn the ball over and beat themselves, then this is a one-score game, and we like the six and a half points. That's all. Yeah, and I think the only way you lose this bet is the Pats defense.
Starting point is 01:13:25 I've watched every Patriots game. I've watched every play of every Patriots game actually. Sometimes I see 95% of the Pats games, but I've actually watched all the Patriot games this year. It's really hard for them to move the ball. Even like you look at that,
Starting point is 01:13:42 the game two weeks ago where they ran two trick plays against Kansas City. That ended up being the two biggest plays they had. It just did not used to be like this. I think the sooner people realize that, the sooner they'll probably be at peace with how this season is going to end. Which really concerns me. I just don't see a path. The Chiefs and Ravens are going to be able to score too many points in January.
Starting point is 01:14:12 And it really worries me. I don't know how, Kyle, how do the Patriots get to 30 points in a game? Pick sixes and- Yeah, defense. And the other thing is the special teams isn't that good this year. So you look at a game like this, that's like a field goal game, basically. They're in their fourth field goal kicker. Their kick returners have been awful this year.
Starting point is 01:14:31 The punter's been the only one that's been pretty good. And it's the little stuff like that that matters in a game like this. So that's my first one. The second one, I want to talk out Titans-Saints. There's some things I like in this game the Titans lost to Houston last week in a game that they made a couple crucial mistakes
Starting point is 01:14:50 in the first half got behind the eight ball came back made it 14-14 then Houston Hopkins and Fuller took over the game and they just outplayed them down the stretch I think people are off Tennessee now because of that game I don't necessarily agree with it.
Starting point is 01:15:06 On the flip side, New Orleans looked incredible last week. As good as you could ever look. It's the classic, now it's the following week, everybody thinks New Orleans shit doesn't stink. Everybody thinks Tennessee is back to being shitty Tennessee again.
Starting point is 01:15:24 It just has all the makings of the classic. The line's going to be three by game time. I guarantee it. Right now it's two and a half. New Orleans by two and a half. I guarantee it goes to three by game time. And it's like, who's taking Tennessee? But then you flip it around.
Starting point is 01:15:39 It's like, this is outdoors. It's probably going to be cold. And Tennessee is going to be able to run the ball, I think, because New Orleans got quietly racked by injuries. They lost their run stuffer. He's out. They lost Davenport.
Starting point is 01:15:57 It's not the same team that we saw six days ago. So I'm just marking this one. I know you're skeptical, right? No, no. I like this quite a bit. The Saints are 4 12 and 1
Starting point is 01:16:12 against the spread in December and January since Drew Brees second season in New Orleans. 4 12 and 1 against the spread in December and January since Drew Brees second season in New Orleans.
Starting point is 01:16:27 That's outdoors. I'm going to bet Tennessee to win this game outright. I'm going to money line bet the tiny sea Titans in this one. I haven't seen the number yet. I haven't seen where it's settled, but I i like tennessee i think this is a perfect situation to to buy low on a team that we believe in you were really ahead of the curve on this one i give you all credit i got burned last week though well no i wouldn't say you got burned i mean it was it came down to a single play it was a deflection uh that that led into it you know and and some special teams problems
Starting point is 01:17:05 for the Titans. But they're right there with Houston. And I don't feel bad. I bet both Tennessee and Houston to win the South. Right, you win either way. Tennessee's plus 115 to win the game
Starting point is 01:17:20 and they're plus two and a half spread-wise. So it doesn't make much sense to bet the money one. Third one. Then I'm going to bet them game and they're plus two, two and a half spread wise. So it doesn't make much sense to bet the money line. Third one. Oh, then I'm going to bet them with getting the points. Yeah. You take the points. Third one, a couple I just wanted to mention. Jet Steelers. Initially, I was really into the Jets in this game. Jets are getting three at home. They have a chance to flip the playoffs by beating the Steelers.
Starting point is 01:17:47 Steelers looked horrible last week. I think people, the Hodges thing, it seems like over and over again when we see these new QBs, after a couple weeks, the league kind of figures out their quirks, and then it starts going south for them, and I'm wondering if maybe he's one of them. I don't know if they're going to have Juju or not. It seems like they're going to have him this week.
Starting point is 01:18:06 They definitely missed him last week. It's been a lot of smoke and mirrors with the Steelers playoff run. They have not beaten anyone awesome. And then the Jets who are 5-9. They've had some moments.
Starting point is 01:18:22 They have some dudes on defense who make shit happen. Darnold is hit or miss, but sometimes looks pretty good. And the case is sitting there to take the Jets. And yet something tells me they're going to fuck this up. And I think the Jets fans even are like, yeah, I think we're going to beat the Steelers. It's looking pretty...
Starting point is 01:18:43 It almost feels like if anyone believes in the Jets, it flips. So I don't know. I wanted to mark this. I really like Jets plus three, but something is holding me back. What do you think? Don't do it. Leave alone the Jets. They are way, way too schizophrenic.
Starting point is 01:19:01 You don't want to say, oh, this is the week. I feel like this is the thing. And then here I am over on my incognito page. And there are three entries that talk about the New York Jets. You just don't want that. That's not good. That's not how you want to live your life.
Starting point is 01:19:20 You don't want best 2019 New York Jets to be part of how you're, you're, you're living your, your gambling life. It's a stay away from me. As you're breaking the record for most times,
Starting point is 01:19:33 we had to edit you after the fact. So congratulations on that. I really wanted to keep editing against Doug Hodges. And I do think there's a world in which he throws four picks in this game and the jets win like 30 to 10, but I agree with you. I think there's a world in which he throws four picks in this game and the Jets win like 30 to 10. But I agree with you. I think it's a stay away. I did want to mention.
Starting point is 01:19:49 Just bet the under. Bet the under. Do that. There's a little bit of a, if you bet Jets plus 150 with Raiders plus 255 against the Chargers on the road, but it'll be all Raiders fans. That parlay plays plus 788, almost 8-1. Ooh, I like that. That's worth 50 bucks.
Starting point is 01:20:11 Then if you bet Jets plus 150 with Cardinals plus 360 in Seattle, a team that has not beaten anybody by more than seven points this year except for one team, that parlay pays plus 1050, 10.5-1. But that's a Moneyline parlay. That's a Moneyline parlay. plus 10, 50, 10 and a half. That's a money line parlay. That's a money line. Seattle. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:20:29 I don't want, I'm not betting Arizona to win anything. Okay. Well, let's talk about them next. Cause they're, they're getting nine points in Seattle against a Seattle team. That is another smoke and mirrors. He kind of team.
Starting point is 01:20:43 They lost Rashard penny. They're down to Chris Carson, and that's it at running back. Definitely, I would say, if they were a fantasy player, the arrow would be going down a little bit. They barely got by Carolina last week, which is concerning because Carolina blows.
Starting point is 01:21:00 I liked what I saw from Arizona last week. I thought they looked really, really confident in that Browns game. And I think Murray's getting better. I actually am seeing signs of real life in Murray. And I wonder if the Larry Fitz thing, Kenyon Drake emerging and all that stuff, if they're a little galvanized by this. So I think they're a live dog at plus nine.
Starting point is 01:21:23 Yeah, I totally agree with this. Seattle is literally the reason I opened the incognito window. No, no, no. Leave it there. I'm not going to make any more bad references. Leave it there. Exactly. I opened an incognito window because I needed to do some research on Seattle. You mentioned the salient point, which is they haven't covered a double-digit spread all season.
Starting point is 01:21:51 They've only covered a double-digit spread once. And they did actually, in my estimation, kick Carolina's ass last week. And then they let them climb back in. And Carolina almost had a backdoor cover it ended up at five and a half at most books and carolina lost by six i mean we were not that far away from another you know single score cover by whoever it is that seattle's playing against i like it arizona's competent the combination of Kingsbury and Murray is interesting. It's fun.
Starting point is 01:22:28 God bless the NFL. I don't think that Seattle is going to win by two scores here. There's value here. They haven't done it all season long. Let's just go ahead. Arizona, by the way, five and one against the spread on the road. Like that's a good number. It's good performance. That's
Starting point is 01:22:48 impressive. So let's just go ahead and take Arizona and I'll leave my incognito window alone. We're marking that one. The only other two games I wanted to mention the Colts who have not looked good for a while. I think after watching that New Orleans game,
Starting point is 01:23:04 that was the first game I was really wrong on in, I would say, five weeks where I was just like, wow, I was dead wrong on this game against the Saints. Brissette is not healthy. Brissette has not even remotely looked the same since he came back from his knee injury, which I'm sure he has a torn MCL or something, and they're just not telling us. But he can't move around the same way. He's just rushed and making bad decisions. The opposite of how he played those first five, six weeks. And he seems off. Mac has a broken hand. He's off. And the heart of their team was Brissette, Mac, and Hilton and their ability to have these long-ass drives. Now they can't do that. And it was really
Starting point is 01:23:48 discouraging. With all of that said, they're hosting the Panthers this week. They're laying seven. They couldn't have looked worse last week. It's not possible. The Panthers are playing Will Greer, a quarterback, which seems great. They can't block.
Starting point is 01:24:05 They're kind of setting sail in the great. They can't block. They're kind of set and sailing the season. They fired their coach. This does feel a little comeback game-ish to me for the Colts as a teaser option. Could get them down to minus one, House. What do you think of that? I like getting them down. I don't want to
Starting point is 01:24:19 have anything to do with them covering this number. I want no part of it we were very bullish on the colts all season long we were bullish on them as a future at the beginning of the season we thought because of the competence throughout their sort of uh infrastructure from the from the gm to the coach and all way through, that they would be able to withstand the enormous pivot that they had to go through when Andrew Luck decided before the season started that he was going to bail on his football team.
Starting point is 01:24:56 And that's fine. I hope he's having a great life. But for our purposes, we bet on Indianapolis to cover seven and a half wins. That's probably not going to come through. They're effing us. But that's not our fault. But that's the case to stay away from this game because we already have enough at stake with them just winning outright.
Starting point is 01:25:15 I just wanted to mention, I think they're a good play in a tease. You pulled them all the way down to one point. Well, and you could also pull the Cardinals up to plus 15. And you can mess around with the Ravens game, which is the last one I want to talk about. The Ravens are minus 10 in Cleveland. Here's the case. Cleveland's a dumpster fire, like just an out-and-out dumpster fire.
Starting point is 01:25:37 Guys are openly selling each other out and selling the coach out during the games. There's been all these bad stories about in the Arizona game, them yelling, come get me to the other sideline, meaning come sign me after the season or trade for me. Baker is a train wreck. He just looks so bad. The last five, six weeks, he has cratered and looks terrible. And I was so, so, so wildly unimpressed with him last week. It was the worst quarterback performance of the weekend and a weekend where a lot of
Starting point is 01:26:14 quarterbacks are really bad. He was just bad. I like the Ravens to completely beat the shit out of the Browns, embarrass them, and they clinch everything, and Lamar doesn't have to play next week. That would be the case. The Ravens just take care of their really good team. Historically, they're in the top 10 DVOA conversation, which is amazing. They've gotten better every month,
Starting point is 01:26:40 and good teams go into Cleveland, dysfunctional, terrible Cleveland, and beat the shit out of them, and then leave three hours later with a 25-point win. And the minus 10 is scary. But why should I be scared by that? Cleveland fucking sucks. Why am I scared by the minus 10?
Starting point is 01:26:57 I shouldn't be, right? You're not. You're not scared by minus 10. You would only be scared if it was another zero there and it was minus 100. Fucking Cleveland stinks. It's Freddy Soup's sucky kitchens. He's fucking terrible.
Starting point is 01:27:12 The poor Cleveland Browns drafted the wrong goddamn quarterback and put him with the wrong goddamn coach. They stink. They could lose by 30 this game. They haven't done anything in several weeks other than confirm that everybody's suspicion that they were enormously overrated at the beginning of this NFL season was true. They suck. They're going to lose by 25 or 30 or 35 or 40. We love Baltimore in this position.
Starting point is 01:27:45 It gives them the opportunity to prepare for the playoffs, to rest, put the Cleveland Browns in the grave they deserve to be in and pour the dirt over the casket. It's time to go with the Baltimore Ravens. And we don't even need to throw them in a tease. No. That's a straight up minus 10. I love the Baltimore Ravens. And we don't even need to throw them in a tease. No. That's a straight up minus 10. I love the 10.
Starting point is 01:28:08 Okay. Fuck the Browns. All right. Let's do, this is the first time I bet against the Patriots a million dollar picks. It could work out either way. If I'm wrong,
Starting point is 01:28:20 then I'm happy to be wrong because my team won. But I, when I see I'm getting three free points, I have to step in. I just have to. Let's go 400K on the Bills plus six and a half. I'm there. I'm with you.
Starting point is 01:28:36 Ravens minus 10. We're doing that for 400K. And then we'll put a little 300K in the Titans plus two and a half. I like that. That's great. A little bit less. Why wouldn't we do that? A little bit less just because they hurt my feelings last week.
Starting point is 01:28:55 I'm penalizing them. And then cards plus nine. Nine or nine and a half? Let's shop for a number. Let's find a number. Here's what I'm thinking with that. If they come back and they cover that line, it's probably a backdoor cover. And if it's a backdoor cover,
Starting point is 01:29:17 odds are the game is going to be relatively high scoring, correct? All that, we agree on all of that. So we could do a little teaser with the cards. You tease them up to plus 15 and a half, and you tease the over down to 45. Would be, I think, the move. I'm going to stay away, though, because I don't like going against Seattle and Seattle.
Starting point is 01:29:42 It just makes me nervous. Okay. All right. That's fine. That's old school. My incognito browser disagrees, but that's fine. The one I wanted to do was to bet the cards as the highest scoring team this week. But those odds aren't out yet.
Starting point is 01:30:01 I think that one is worth watching. I'll be texting about those odds on Sunday morning. I can't wait. So to recap, we are doing Bills plus six and a half in New England in a game that we both think will be a three-point game that comes down in the last couple minutes, 400,000 on that. The Ravens minus 10 to blow out, embarrass, humiliate,
Starting point is 01:30:23 and end the Freddy Soup era in Cleveland. Ravens minus 10 for 400K. And then the Titans. In the classic double bounce back game where you have the Saints just riding as high as possible, only one way to go down, and the Titans licking their wounds, coming off a tough loss,
Starting point is 01:30:41 but still secretly with a chance to win the division if they can pull off a week 17 thing, possibly. And then maybe Houston loses this week. Who knows? Titans plus two and a half for 300K. Those are our three picks. Drunk House. We did it.
Starting point is 01:31:00 Congratulations. It's the Wagyu beef of week 16 selections. It's the seafood tower of week 16 selections. It's the Bloody Mary with an extra shot of vodka of week 16. And it's the incognito window of week 16 selections. You did it. It's great. We might,
Starting point is 01:31:25 we might call you next week for Christmas day, Christmas day gambling picks. So stay tuned. I know this is going to shock you. I'm available. Bye house. Bye guys. All right.
Starting point is 01:31:39 Thanks so much to Mallory and house. Thanks to state farm. Thanks to square more than just a little white credit card reader. It's all kinds of tools built to run any kind of business from payroll to online stores.
Starting point is 01:31:51 Go to square.com slash go slash BS to see all the ways you can take your business from square one to whatever's next. We put up a lot of content this week. Don't forget about the
Starting point is 01:32:00 rewatchables. Godfather part two. Don't forget about book of basketball podcast game seven 2016 finals. Don't forget to check our YouTube channel where we put up the full videos to Godfather Part 2. We put big chunks of the Book of Basketball pod up. Me and Rosillo also did the best 12 moments, best and worst really, of 2019 for NBA. That is an hour-long podcast that's up as well. So lots of content for you to enjoy heading into the holidays.
Starting point is 01:32:26 If you're traveling this weekend, safe travels. We will see you Sunday night, me and the cuz until then. On the wayside, I'm a person never lost. I don't have feelings within.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.