The Bill Simmons Podcast - Super Chargers, Bills-Chiefs, Ben vs. Geno, “Lucky” Boston, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal and Joe House

Episode Date: October 11, 2021

The Ringer’s Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal and special guest Joe House to discuss the Chiefs’ loss to the Bills, the Patriots’ narrow victory over the Texans, 49ers-Cardinals, the electrifying Browns-Chargers game, Cowboys-Giants, Bengals-Packers, and more (2:15), before guessing the lines for NFL Week 6 (50:10). They close the show with Parent Corner and a brief discussion of Fury-Wilder III (1:24:10). Host: Bill Simmons Guests: Cousin Sal and Joe House Producer: Kyle Crichton Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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well, we're going to load it this week with a bunch of stuff. David Shoemaker and I already did the season finale of Heels, which was a great wrestling show on Starz that we really liked a lot. Scenes from a Marriage is going to be broken down a little bit later this week with Mallory and Joanna. And then we're going to do a three-part succession.

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Follow it on Spotify, wherever you get your podcasts. Enjoy it. Speaking of pop culture podcasts, The Rewatchable is coming back on Monday night with maybe the funniest movie of the 80s. It's an action movie though. It's Cobra.

But now it's one of the funniest movies of the 80s. Me and Kyle Brandt broke that one down. I'm looking forward to putting that out in the world because there's a lot of great topics coming out of that movie. Coming up, Joe House is in town. He's going to join me and the Cuz.

We're going to talk about week five. We're going to guess some lines in baseball playoffs. Man, action-packed weekend. It's all next. First, our friends taping this. It is 9.40 Pacific time. We had a little lightning delay that delayed our Chiefs-Bills thing.

Poor Joe House flew in from Washington today on a 5.45 flight in the morning. East Coast time. I pumped him, Sal, I pumped him with like a, what was it, a Trenta? What was in that coffee? Well, it's the iced, it's the Trenta ice cold brew with a shot of espresso. But you also pumped me, I got here, we haven't, I haven't seen a piece of meat since I arrived here, Sal.

What? There's green stuff out here. Oh, no. Everybody is a vegan in California. Salads, tofu, pad thai. Really tried to get him healthy to keep him awake for this, Sal. Oh, that's your plan? Yeah. You did this to us years ago, Simmons. We used to have nice lunches in the Kimmel writers room. And you're like, this is a comedy killer. All this Chinese food. Like, no, we love it. Who cares? We're fat and lazy. But yeah, you did it to house to

keep them awake. I was right. We would get these giant Italian food things in the Kimmel's Rater, and then everyone would just sit around and rub their stummies and not write any jokes for like two hours. I know it was the best. It was the best. Oh, but you got here and you had a, you know, it's a long day. I mean, this is a 15 hour day, even if you didn't fly from the East coast at five in the morning with that London game. I mean, I'm freaking exhausted and I lost a ton of money. Yeah. Well, I mean, I was going to get to that later, but one of the many things I learned today was don't bet on the London games, which I already knew. Don't bet on the jets, the combo that, but one thing, one other thing I learned, don't bet on the 2021 Chiefs.

So House and I were arguing about this all day. House loved the Bills. I like the Chiefs. What crazy value. You get the minus three in a Sunday night game. Collinsworth doing the whole Mahomes thing. Bills come out, kick their ass. Chiefs get this beautiful lightning delay. Delays everything for an hour and 25 minutes. Tirico

and Tony Dungy and Drew Brees have to fill forever, comes back and the Bills just keep it rolling. And the house thinks they're the best team in the NFL. What do you think, Sal? Yeah, well, I had the Bills and Rams meeting the Super Bowl. And I still think the Chiefs could steal this division somehow.

I'm going to fall apart with that in a minute. But people saw that minus three and they're like, oh, there's great value in this. Or no, no, no, that's too fishy. Should I stay away? I stayed away except I took the Chiefs plus seven and a half on a money line parlay. Now, is that game on an adjusted parlay? Is that over?

Is it over? Can I look? I'm not even going to look to my side. I don't understand. It was all the offensive line. That's what was terrible. That's why they lost the Super Bowl. No one warned us about this horrible defense.

I know they had a guy, they had a corner out. They had a couple guys out, but for God's sakes, if you have a decent quarterback, you're scoring 30, 35 off this team. Well, it continues to be self-sabotage from the Chiefs. Another four turnover game. I mean, we haven't seen a team go out and the Chiefs not have any turnovers and just go, I thought this was going to be a track meet game, right? Whoever had the ball last was going to win, which is why I like the bills in a, in a jump ball game. I'll take the team that gets plus, uh, uh, odds on the money line, right? Cause it's 50, 50, they're, they're going to have the ball last.

That's, that's why I like the bills. The bill scored 38 points. We probably would have guessed they were going to be between 31 and 38 and the chiefs only scored 20. Kept turning the ball last. That's why I like the Bills. The Bills scored 38 points. We probably would have guessed they were going to be between 31 and 38, and the Chiefs only scored 20. Kept turning the ball over. They've been turning the ball over all year. I'll tell you the big storyline for me. I don't know if you guys noticed it. Collinsworth,

it was like watching a seventh-grade girl just switch their love to another boy during the game. All the love he has for Mahomes. Oh, Patrick. Oh, my God, Patrick. It just, during the game, shifted to Josh Allen. Did you see it, Sal? He dumped Patrick Mahomes during the game. He is now in love, football love with Josh Allen. Yeah. And Al Michaels helped along. He was like the friend in seventh grade who was like,

hey, I've been talking to Josh Allen's best friend. And Josh Allen was like the friend in seventh grade. It was like, hey, I've been talking to Josh Allen's friend, you know, the best friend. And like Josh Allen was like, oh, is Josh Allen going to be MVP? Yeah, I think what you're saying is right. He's going to be around at the end. Yeah, so you're right. He hurdled that guy in the fourth quarter and Cosworth was as giddy as,

he was like a seventh grader on Valentine's Day house. So you could feel it in his voice. He felt something move down below. He might have. He might have. So listen, we have to bring this up. I don't remember what game it was with the Bucs last year when they got crushed by the Saints.

It was right around the same time, right? Week five, week six, range. Saints crushed them, killed them. And it was like, oh, Bucs are done. This is it. We do this every year. And I made a mental note last year. I'm not doing it this year.

I'm not. When we have the roller coaster ride that is the NFL, I'm not counting teams out. I'm not anointing teams. We're not saying the Cardinals and Bills are playing the Super Bowl. We're not saying the Bills, this is it. They did it.

They finally got over the hump because it's week five and the season's even longer this year and we have no idea what's going to happen. I'm not saying all those things. I'm good with that. I really am. Yes, you're right.

It's 17 weeks. There's 12 left. They usually write the ship. You usually can run all over them, right? Isn't that the thing for the first month with the Chiefs? All right. So now you can run and pass all over them. And my home seems a little off.

That's what's scary to me. I would think like by now, the McCall Hardman's or one of those guys would have developed right where it's not always the Tyreek Hill show or Kelsey couldn't get open today, but it never happened. Like why isn't McCall? Why don't they have a number three guy that they can go to at all? It's been years to develop and especially in this offense, someone should emerge. Well, the thing to me is the below mediocre talent at running back. Like they can't establish anything that way. They were running, you know, short stuff for Tyreek out of the backfield just to try and generate something rush wise.

I mean, some of them were like little screens, little shovels, but still they have no rushing game at all. I mean, I know Clyde had 100 yards last week, but it's not any kind of... It doesn't provide a context in which Mahomes has the element of surprise at all. I lived it a couple of times with the Patriots. Sonny, Michelle, Lawrence, Barone,

where your team spends these first-round picks on the running backs, and they kind of don't have it. And it takes a while to kind of admit it to yourself. I just don't see it with Clyde. I think he's too small. I don't think he busts the big plays the way they thought he did. And he's just kind of like condition rounders.

He's grinding out that run money and that's it, which I don't think is what they were going for with when they took him to draft. I think they were thinking the field is spread. This is going to be a home run guy. Are the chiefs having the year from hell though, is the other possibility here? Cause we've seen that too. Who is our year from hell team? Who are the candidates so far? So, um, well the chiefs for sure. Uh, the Steelers like, yeah, although they won today, right? So yeah, but it's falling apart? It wasn't surprising, though. It's got to be a team

that, I mean, I guess Seattle could be a possibility, right? They get the two and three, and they get the Wilson broken finger, and everyone was talking about what a loaded division is. They might be the odd man out. I think it has to be them. I don't know who else it would be. Is San Francisco in the mix, maybe? Right. Same kind

of thing. Injuries. Although, seriously, if we were going to really talk about... We didn't have any ambition for this team, but losing two games with 50-yard-plus field goals at the end of the game, the Detroit Lions, first time in the history of the NFL, that feels bad. It brought Dan to tears today.

I didn't blame him. People were like, oh, look at the idiot coach crying. I'm like, I would cry too if I lost two 50-plus field goals at the end. One of them, a record-breaker 66. And the one, like, the Vikings were dead. And the thing that makes this one maybe even worse was he went for two. He made the right call. He got it.

They had him dead to rights on the road. They're going to win their first game. And now the Detroit Lions. I don't know. I don't know who wins first. I do think some of the rookie quarterbacks are starting to look better as a whole. Like they needed a month. It seems like all of them have stepped up.

And even I don't even know if I'm allowed to say this. Trey Lance reminds me a lot of Kaepernick, the way he looks. That's a positive thing. I promise. And then your guy Jones came back. No matter what you want to say about that Texans team, that's a double-digit deficit. That's fun. And even Trevor Lawrence showed some flashes of brilliance today. So I think we have a nice crop again. Well, if you had to re-rank the rookie quarterbacks from what you've seen so far,

do you think it was the right order? Who was the first? I don't know. I do see Zach Wilson making throws that I'm not sure a lot of other players can make, but then there's also on the negative side, he makes throws that a lot of other players can make. So stats-wise, Zach Wilson is not the guy. You know who looked pretty good?

I need a few weeks. Davis Mills looked pretty effing good today. Davis Mills had like three incompletions at one point. Two touchdowns and it was like 12 for 15 in the first half. You were scared, Simmons. Admit it. You were scared. I mean, look. It was the end of the Patriots season if they lose. They would have been

one and four. They're done. It would have been the end of a three-team teaser that I never should have made a million-dollar picks and in life, and had to sweat that one out. It's funny, spending three hours sweating out the Patriots part of that tease while also sweating out the season, and then the Red Sox are coming on game three. In the middle of all this, the Vikings decide to lose this seemingly insurmountable lead and give it all of a sudden sudden it's 17-16 Detroit.

It's like one of those where it pops up and you're like, wait, what? I didn't even have that game on one of the TVs. I thought it was a goner. So then that one and then the Minnesota kicker who is now, he's my MVP, Sal. You like him? He's the guy? Well, because he had the Arizona game,

which I had a lot of money in Arizona just to win. That guy missed like a 35 yarder. And then this game, the other way, I I had a lot of money in Arizona just to win. That guy missed like a 35 yarder. And then this game, the other way I need him to make one. He made, what was that? Like 52, 54, maybe I thought it was long. Yeah. Yeah. Any kicker that splits the upright should be your hero at this point. I mean the worst, I mean, this might've been the worst day of kicking of all time, but the worst kick of all was in your game when the Texans were up. What was it? Was it 22-9? Yeah. And the up back goes up to fake.

All right, we're going to take a snap here on fourth and long. I was like, no, no, no, I'm just kidding. But instead of going all the way back, I'm going to go six yards back and punt it right into my fat offensive lineman's helmet. That was the worst kick of the game. And that changed all the momentum. And that's how you won. Yeah.

I mean, we were down six. Harris fumbles on the one-inch yard line, which I think we're on pace this year to set the record for most fumbles as the guy's running in for a touchdown. And it just seemed like it was one of those games where over and over again, House showed up

in the fourth quarter and he's Ubering from the airport. He's like, I'm not even going to ask what's going on with the Patriots. I'll wait till I get to your house. And he comes in. The comeback had already kind of begun. The Texans,

they basically had three good quarters of them. They couldn't sustain it. But I was kind of impressed by Davis Mills. You know, that was the guy

the Patriots were going to take if they didn't get back Jones. He's not bad. They would have been happy. He looks fine. Yeah, he looks fine. He now has three games of reps.

That's the thing about Trey Lance. Trey Lance is now at the Justin Fields two games ago stage. I think one more game, game plan wise, where he gets to practice with the ones and gets another round of Shanahan. Maybe I'm a little too bullish on Shanahan. No, I think we should give these guys a month. I think we're, in general, we're a-holes for getting on these guys after seeing them drop back the past three times.

Justin Fields, whatever we did with him. And I'm to blame. I'm in that camp as much as anyone else. But give them five or six weeks before we write them off forever. I thought Lance seemed really raw. And I don't know what he's going to look like two years from now, but out of the five guys,

he seems like the least ready to play. It looks like, he almost looks like a college quarterback, like getting his reps in an Alabama game or something. And I don't know. I just, I felt like there were opportunities there for that team. And they were,

you know, what did they end up with? 10 points? Yeah. mean it's because they had a 13 play seven minute drive that ended with him holding the ball at the goal line right not extending it across on a fourth down play diving into those guys that was the difference of the game i mean that was it they they had possessions they had opportunities to score and you know do you does it remind you a little of the Trubisky thing? I think he's better than Trubisky, but what did Trubisky have in college? Like 17 starts?

Right, yeah. Where he just doesn't seem like he's had all the reps. Mack looks like he's been... You know, he's also a little older, obviously, but he looks like... He just looks super comfortable with pressure and all these different things and checkdowns. But Mack's been playing with the first the first team offense since the preseason.

Trey Lance has been playing with that first team offense for 10 days at best. If that, you know, seven days. So he's the least prepared because he's literally the least prepared. He has the least amount of reps of any of the rookie quarterbacks with the first team offense and an offense designed to maximize his skill set. I don't really care about San Francisco, though. I think San Francisco is pretty good, though. They're good. I agree. That defense was excellent against Arizona.

Arizona was dying to give that game away. They were dying at least to give the cover away, right? They were kind of like the Rams last week. The Rams beat the Bucs. They're on top of the world. They're giving a half dozen or five points to Arizona. Arizona goes to SoFi, kicks the crap out of them. Now Arizona's the only undefeated team.

They're giving five or six points. Wait, something's wrong. There's so much better than this rookie that's coming on the road for the first time. And that was a game up until the last minute. They ended up covering, but I'm not sure. I'm not ready to rank those West teams yet. Me neither. This is a mid-November thing.

But the Kyler Murray piece was, we were wondering, could he make it half the season without getting banged up? Could he make it two-thirds of the season? His shoulder, something happened in the second half, and it was a little reminiscent of last year. And they cut to him on the sideline,

and he was doing that kind of pitcher, trying to loosen the shoulder and the dugout kind of thing. And just did not look comfortable to me. And, you know, the durability question with him. That division, which we thought was going to be this powerhouse. And now I have legitimate questions about each team. You know, like the Niners, the quarterback situation. I think if Jimmy G played today, better chance of winning.

I don't think it's like, oh, they definitely win with Jimmy G because he hasn't had a ton of success against Arizona. Better chance. But then the Seattle thing, with four to six to eight weeks of Geno Smith, and then the Rams,

their defense is certainly a lot worse than I thought. I got to ask you about the Niners, though. House, would you rather have Mac Jones and two first-round picks or Trey Lance? Oh, I mean, this is the classic Simmons setup. No, no, it's just a question.

Yes or no. What would you rather have? It's not a setup. Mac Jones and two first-round picks or Trey Lance? Yeah, the Niners traded up. They traded up from number 12 to number 3 with two first-round picks so they can move up to number 3.

And people thought they were doing for Mac Jones. Who knows who they were going for, but they decided it was going to be Trey Lance. They took him. And the question is... I'll take the two first-round picks and you can keep Mac Jones. You're just being a dick.

You're just being a dick. It depends. I don't think Trey Lance is that much better than Mac Jones. No, I know what you're saying. But are the Patriots making the first round picks? You might get two receivers no one's ever heard of and who are out of the league in four days. I'll say this about the Patriots.

And I would have said this, win or lose. Not sure they're good. Might have been one of my worst picks ever. Thinking they could sink in the Super Bowl. They can't block. They can't really get stops on defense. That's been the recurring theme of the first five weeks. They don't get big plays.

And every single game, they lose the turnover battle. Whereas Sal's team, which I know we're going to talk about in a second, Sal's team is plus two, plus three every game in turnovers. Patriots are minus one, minus two. They might not be good, Sal.

Well, you just better hope your team doesn't meet up against my team. Oh, wait. No, that's happening in seven days or six days. Wow. Wow. All right. It is happening. That's going to be a little bit of trouble. It's a tough one. I'll tell you this. I'm not sure we have seven playoff teams in the AFC.

What? No. I'm going to go into this. We're going to take a break. I'm going to come back and I'm going to we have seven playoff teams in the AFC. What? No, I'm going to go into this. We're going to take a break. I'm going to come back and I'm going to explain that one. This episode is brought to you by Movember. The mustache is back with a vengeance. Look at Travis Kelsey. Before he rocked that Super Bowl ring, he rocked that super soup strainer.

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host an event, or set your own goal and mow your own way. Do great things this November. Sign up now. Just search Movember. The question is, do we have seven AFC playoff teams? I think we both we all think the Chargers and Bills are playoff teams,

right? From what we've seen. Yes. Ravens? Yes. Almost definitely? Yes. Almost definitely. Browns? I would say they're a playoff team. Yes. AFC. Browns, I would say they're a playoff team. Yes. AFC South, whoever. Right.

Chiefs. Who's the seventh playoff team? Wait, you said Chargers? You didn't say Chargers? I did say the Chargers. Your nominees are the Raiders, Denver, the Patriots, the Steelers, the Colts, Miami, and then a bunch of crap.

There's going to be a bad seventh team in the AFC. So this is my thing. We were talking about it. I was talking about the general trifecta. There's like nine very good or great teams, all of which, except for Baker Mayfield's team, has a very good or great quarterback. And then

everyone else is like, eh. So I think we're staying the same thing. Those nine are in the AFC and NFC. Who's the seventh? I don't know, man. I almost have to give up on the Raiders. I would have said the Raiders before this week, but maybe they were luckier than they were good after all.

I mean, I don't know what's wrong with that team. That was a disaster today. I know a Khalil Mack bowl, everyone got up for it, but they couldn't move the ball at all. Well, they're three-2 and really could be 1-4. They're two plays away from being 1-4. Now they have this Gruden controversy. It's fascinating watching

Dungy and Tirico really go to the mat for him after the game with the email. We'll see. It seems like it's going to blow over. They had a barring injury. They didn't have any injuries, but they had about as bad a six days as you could get. They get pummeled by the Chargers.

They make a little run at the end there, but they got beat up Monday night, then the Gruden thing, and then today. I don't know where it goes from here. Let's talk about the Chargers quickly because House and I were in love with that game. Had it on the big screen. Kept the Red Sox to the side

because I couldn't handle the announcers but Chargers just seem like we had Chargers-Cowboys that could end up being the Super Bowl but that would be a really fun battle I would watch that one five more times but the Chargers just there's something about it

they figured out the uniforms the vibe their kicker's just going to miss at least three kicks a game, multiple receivers. This was the conversation we're having, speaking of the kicker missing. Staley wants to go for it all the time. Staley. Staley, what did I say? You called him Stanley.

No, I didn't. You called him Stanley. No, listen to the tape. You called him Stanley. It's because I've been awake for 17 and a half hours. His name is Brandon Staley. He's a handsome young man. I like that. He had the little zip up rain jacket. Nice little millennial look.

He was rocking today. Good job, Brandon. But look, he doesn't want to kick. Then don't kick. Go for everything. Go for the two points on every touchdown. Don't never punt. You need one guy that can kick off.

And that's it. I mean, if you can get a defensive lineman that can kick the ball 35 yards, why waste a position on a punter, a field goal specialist, a long kicker? Fuck all that. Just don't play football with football players. You got a guy who scored 28 points

in the last four drives against his Browns defense, which is not bad. I mean, Herbert is fantastic. He's in the MVP discussion now, and two months from now, he will be too if he's not injured. And this Chargers team is dynamite. I don't know. They don't even seem to care

that they have no fans at these games. Not a one fan at these games. It's unbelievable. That has not gotten better, along with the kicking and everything else. The one thing is, this is definitely a game they would have lost in the years past, right? And so many others.

It's kind of, I still kind of am waiting for them to announce that they lost the game. It was just the two games today where the Falcons and the Chargers, where it was like, oh, this is just karaoke. It's like the London game was like Falcons karaoke. They're up 23. They're definitely losing this.

They somehow won. And then the Chargers, the guy missed the extra point. And it's like, Oh, here we go again with the Chargers, but different attitude. I'll tell you this.

Sal, the league that I got kicked out of by that great damage, Shaq, just a terrible human being, um, kicks me out. I come back this year i take herbert eckler and keenan allen i load up i do the paul the paul coher strategy of just

pick a team you like offensively load up on them i somehow didn't get mike williams i didn't go all the way it was like it was like i bought the state-of-the-art tv with the surround sound and then instead of a blu-ray port, I bought like a cheap DVD. Like what was I doing? Just get Mike Williams. If I'm going to clear out the chargers. He was probably cheap too, right? What did he go for?

Did he go for $10? Less than five bucks. 46.8 points for Herbert today. 27.9 for Eckler. And Alan, 7.5. Damoshek's not a terrible human being. He's just a sad human being, actually. I don't know.

He's sad. He's just a bad friend. It's fine. But yeah, it's fun to have all those chargers. No, they're good. Obviously, they're a fantasy delight. They're kind of what everybody wants the Vikings to be, and that team can't move the ball at all, right?

You mentioned they have just as many fantasy threats but are terrible to watch over a course of three hours and Cousins somehow got it done today. But you're right about all of it. I mean, we went crazy about the AFC, but that seventh spot is a 9-8 team, I think, at best. So disqualifying the Cowboys, who do you think the most fun NFL team is, Sal?

Sal can't say the Cowboys. Who would you say, Char fun NFL team is, Sal? Sal can't say the Cowboys. Who would you say? Chargers? It is the Chargers. Yeah, of course. We just watched the best football game of the season, I think. I enjoyed that more than any other game I watched this season. I think the Cowboys are pretty fun too.

Yeah. Explain this Diggs thing to me, Sal. How does this guy become Deion Sanders 2.0? Where did this come from? Were there signs of this happening the last two years? Like, do we need to make a pee in a cup? What's going on here? He was kind of all or nothing last year. He showed that he could be great, but yeah, everyone's saying Deion Sanders 2.0 now.

How he's baiting quarterbacks at the throw on the ball on just a matter of time before they throw to the other side and never go his way. Hopefully he can make some tackles once in a while, unlike Deion who just never wanted to put his beak in there and then get dirty. But yeah, it's a lot of fun, man. It's a lot of fun watching this defense. That's why I thought the Giants of old can go in and forget it. We beat him up in a bad way with Danny Dimes being out and Barkley misstepping and busting up his ankle and everything.

So that was going to be over anyway. But the fact that we like forced turnovers, this is something we never did. We're like 13 turnovers and that would take like four years to take that many turnovers in a typical Cowboys team. So I don't know if it's Dan Quinn or these players or Michael Parsons is all over the place, but it's a lot of fun. If you talk about fun teams, like I like fun offenses that can score quickly. Arizona's like that.

Didn't show it really today, but the Cowboys are like that, and the Chargers are like that. What do you think, Cass? I want to make sure that during the course of this podcast, we touch on, and maybe it fits the context of the seventh team from the AFC. Let's talk about the Cincinnati Bengals' performance today. They showed me a lot. And that stadium was absolutely rocking.

We had, uh, do we get a Mason Crosby game like this once a year? It feels like one. Now, maybe this was probably his worst all time. It really, he had a lot of, of game winning kick opportunities.

So that ratio for him is going to go way down because he's not going to be like 17 of 18 on game winning kicks. Now he's 17 of 22 because he had five different tries at it and only made one of them. But I admire the pluckiness of Cincinnati. Am I crazy or are they fast

on both sides of the ball? Well, it doesn't seem like they can 100% block. It seems like Burrow takes huge hits. And yet they move the ball of the ball. Well, it doesn't seem like they can 100% block. It seems like Burrow takes huge hits. And yet they move the ball down the field. He was hospitalized with a throat contusion after the game, which had nothing

to do with why he was taken out earlier in the game before he came back in. If you told me this guy lost his arm in a paper shredder during the half, I'd be like, oh yeah, okay, this is just what happens. Enough with the hazing Joe Burrow. Leave him alone already or block for him. Do something. He threw a terrible

pick in overtime, but he's obviously amongst the best. He had a fucked up throat, though. It was a signals cross thing, too. It wasn't all his fault. Do you like missing Crosby or Mason Crossbar better?

We can go either way with that. He was hooking him. It was a real hook. He had a hook working. We were saying it seems like I don't really care about the Packers, but it just seems like this specific game with him happens once a year. It's almost like a Mason Crosby holiday.

You just kind of know it. I would think so too, but I think he made like 23 in a row or something stupid. Am I imagining that? That once a year, he just kind of loses it for two hours? Yeah.

I don't know. They look lazy as a team. Like third and four, lots of run plays. Rodgers never, even though he had good stats, never really took over. What was he?

27 for 39, 344. Pretty good. But they never really put their foot on the gas? 27 for 39, 344. Pretty good. But they never really like put their foot on the gas when they could have a bunch of times. The thing is like

when your best player basically says I'm not getting vaccinated, I'm not going to play any home games. It's, oh no, I got kind of

Aaron Rodgers confused. But who are we talking about? Aaron Rodgers? That's right. All right. Here's the thing with Aaron Rodgers. When you spend the entire offseason

trying to get traded and complaining about your entire organization, well, then, kind of on the side going, no, no, but not the teammates. Teammates are great, but get me the fuck out of here as fast as possible. But these guys are good and it's got to affect them at least a little bit. They can all put it on

a face, but we've all worked for big organizations. If somebody's being an asshole... I mean, it affected them a little bit. They got their asses beat by the Saints, and they haven't lost since. They're in pretty good shape. But Sal's asking why something seems autopilot-y.

They just look weird today. Yeah, they definitely look weird today. They should be beaten up on these teams. It wasn't raining 33. It was like 80 degrees there. They should have been able to do their thing. I'll say this about the Bengals though.

Chase looks like it was the right pick. I thought they should have taken a tackle because they can't. Now, Burrow just gets the shit kicked out of him every week still,

so maybe they should have taken a tackle, but Chase is electric. Like he has, there's some sort of, some certain receipt and C.D. Lamb has this too. Something about these guys in a game,

they're probably faster than if they're running a 40 just on some track. Like they just have like this game sense. He knows what the fuck he's doing. He's really good. I didn't watch a lot of college and this was what he was supposed to be when you read the draft stuff or it's like, this is what this guy, he's doing. He's really good. I didn't watch a lot of college and this was what he was supposed to be when you read the draft stuff where it's like, this is what this guy, he's just electric.

But you never know until they come in the league. He's electric. I don't know where I stand on this in general, but LSU, LSU. They're familiar with each other. There's something to be said about doing that. Urban Meyer drafts Trevor Lawrence and then Travis at the end. That

was not going to work, even despite the injury. I have no problem. I can't see anything else wrong with Urban Meyer. This is the one thing I could point. I have no insight. If a video came out, it would be a different story. Oh, for God's sakes. What do you call it on houses doing the Friday Ringer Gambling Show? What do you have it on houses doing the Friday ringer gambling show? What do you have there? Urban Meyer horny dog of the week. We had an Urban Meyer horny dog of the week this week. We gave out a nice money line parlay. Tennessee had to feature in all kinds of stuff.

I had to, we needed a good six minute treatment of Urban Meyer. That was fantastic. They were the horny guy. They were the horny guy. What a hero. I didn't know. I,

there's so much going on. It's hard. Plus the Red Sox. And I don't, I don't feel like I follow football as well going on. It's hard. Plus the Red Sox. And I don't feel like I follow football as well as I should have the last week because the Red Sox. But I didn't know about the Urban Meyer thing, him not going on the plane until midweek. Oh, yeah. I thought that was one of the most insane things I've ever heard.

I never heard of a situation where the coach is like, all right, guys, I'll see you back home. I'm going to go on this private plane the other way. That's fucking crazy. Across media, every coach, every GM that was interviewed on any channel, any podcast that you listen to, not one guy could remember a single instance of another coach doing that. Like that even in college.

I had Steve Spurrier in Washington and I don't think Steve Spurrier did that when he was in Washington. And that guy loved to play golf. Simmons, we have a friend we know who worked in the Cowboys organization. He said even Wade Phillips, when we went to Lambeau and lost by 50, he knew he was getting fired.

Even he flew back. There's no precedent. There's nothing. And yet, here's what I think. Had they beaten the Bengals on Thursday night, if that guy misses the field goal and James Robinson breaks one in overtime, I don't think it's such a big deal. Now I think it's just a viral video and something that he needs to settle with his wife and his Lord, Jesus Christ, who I'm almost positive is going to help them through this. I really think he is. But yeah, I don't know. Honestly, I'm not sure how much more he could take. What would you say? We joked about this, Simmons, even before the viral video. Every week we have.

I think if he hits a point of no return, if he hits like week 10, like middle November, they'll be like, yeah, we'll just keep him for the rest of the year. Otherwise, I think it's about two more weeks. He might not go back. They have a London game. Yeah, I was going to say, back. He could be done in London. October is probably the... Does he get out of October? I would say even odds. What's the difference?

What do you mean? What difference is it going to make? I don't know. Here's what I don't believe. I don't believe he lost the trust of the locker room. Really, these 23-year-old guys really care that he got a lap dance or whatever in a bar

like this? I think they would think it was funny more than anything. They're all like, go coach. They probably don't even care that he wasn't on the plane. You're relieved when your coach is on the plane. Like, I'm not going to get the stink eye for four hours. I'm not sure that that's exactly the truth. They have lost 20 in a row. Most of those aren't his fault. But when

those numbers rack up, that's going to be bad to try to negotiate. It's weird because the Khan family has done such a good job with AEW. They created from scratch a legitimate competitor to WWE. They got in with Turner. They've done these pay-per-views. They built the, you know, they got in with Turner. They've done these pay-per-views. They've really made some smart signings. And they've really zagged well against WWE, where now we have two legitimate

wrestling places. And it's all run by that guy, Tony Khan, who's Shad Khan's son. And yet the Jaguars, who he's also involved with, but it's the same family, and it's a fucking shit show. And it's been a shit show for years and years and years.

Well, no, since they choked a fourth-quarter lead against the Patriots three years ago with a chance to go to the AFC title game, right? That was it. Their record is abysmal since then.

Yeah. I don't know if they've won a game since. No, I don't think so. But Simmons, to be fair, Vince McMahon couldn't make it in the world of the football either. Although he's trying again this year, right? I think the XFL is ahead of its time. I still believe in the idea.

A couple other things. Glennon and Gallman running the Giants. It sounded like a new TNT drama. It's like Glennon and Gallman. Mark Paul Goslar is Glennon. Zeke got injured by a pylon? I thought that was fun. He's okay though, right?

It seemed like he had a lacerated kidney for five seconds. Yeah, he was rubbing his hip for a while, but then he high-stepped it into the end zone, which he also, I think, was still stretching when he was doing that. Do we have an explanation for why that thing is there?

Is it to maim the players? Let's get rid of the damn pylon. Let's get rid of it. When guys are diving for it, the ball comes loose. Let's just get rid of it altogether. I don't know what you replace it with. Another goalpost? Something.

How about this? Let's use technology. It's the 21st effing century. Why do we have old men running up with trying to get to the line, establish a line of scrimmage with their own two eyes and then running with these chains and now this pylon that's a kidney impaler. How about get a fucking computer

and let's just have a line. We already see it on television. We have the ability. We're flying citizens into space for Christ's sakes. Let's ask Elon Musk if he can figure out where the fucking first down line is. Can't do it. What do you think this is? Tennis with review

and the precision? No. I didn't know the pylon was that dangerous. It's like they should just put barbed wire around it. Make it worse. Make it really... Make people afraid of it. There's a miniature cone in a road or something. You could just drive over and smack around. But I don't know.

Two other things that happened today. One I've never seen. Two I haven't seen in a while. The first one I haven't seen in a while was the Bengals kicker thinking that he made the game winning field goal. But he didn't. He celebrated it for like six seconds. I can't. I know that's happened before, but I can't remember the last time it happened.

They had a slow motion replay where there was multiple people jumping on him and he missed it. Does he need Lasix? What happened, Sal? I joked around that maybe some of these kicks were so bad that now guys are celebrating just near misses. I thought that that's what's going on.

But you know what it did? It hit the flag. And I think that threw him off a going on. But you know what it did? It hit the flag. And I think that threw him off a little bit. The flag is clearly outside or in this case was outside the upright. But he went bananas. I still don't think he thinks he missed it. That game

was very entertaining. So that then something I know I've never seen before and House hadn't seen it either. The Browns need the Chargers to score so they get the ball back. Yeah. They hand off to Eckler with like a minute either. The Browns need the Chargers to score so they can get the ball back. They hand off to Eckler with like a minute left. The Chargers try to run out of the clock and the Browns run behind him

and then propel him into the end zone. It was a self-touchdown. After he successfully did the slide down, then they give it to him again and he's upright long enough for the Browns to basically hijack him and carry him in. It's magnificent long enough for the Browns to basically hijack him and carry him in. It's magnificent. I was so thrilled by it. I don't know why they didn't take a knee. The play

before, you're right, he had the wherewithal to go down and then they hand off to him and like, yeah, of course they're going to launch you into the end zone if you're getting the ball and not going down. But then I'm like, why am I rooting for them to take a knee? Every kicker in the league has missed four field goals today. Is that really what we're going to settle on? So I'm like, why am I rooting for them to take a knee? Every kicker in the league has missed four field goals today. Is that really what we're going to settle on? So I'm not even sure what the right decision is there. I don't know what to make of the kicking. On the one hand, we have guys... Let's get

rid of it! No, no, but we had like a 66-yarder to win a game. We've had at least five or six 52-56 yarders to win games. And then we'll have these dudes that are missing 30 yarders and extra points. And it's just all over the map. I don't know.

It's somehow better and worse. Yeah. As aggressive as coaches are, we've not seen these long field goals attempted, right? We're seeing 55 yarders every time. If you got the eight box on in the morning, you're seeing one every three or four minutes of 54, 55 yard or attempted. Well, we're also seeing a lot more aggressive play on fourth down.

I mean, I didn't sit down and run the numbers, but it looked like there was a half dozen different times today where teams went for it on fourth down on the other side of the 50 yard line. And the announcers always go, oh my God, this is so especially the color guys. It's gone too far. This is so contrary to our

commercial way of doing it. Now, you know, there is decent analytics, a lot of body of work out there. Studies go as far back as the innovative guy from Pulaski Academy, the guy, Kevin Kelly or whatever his name was, who never punted, the non-punter guy.

And so there is a body of work out there that supports the basic proposition of you go for it a lot more aggressive than we've been led to believe is acceptable. But it feels like there's a sea change. I wonder if it's like stolen bases. Like when we were growing up, Ricky Henderson would have a hundred, right? Vince Coleman would have a bunch and they just went away because they figured out that you could score on a double from first. But I wonder if that's what's going to happen with extra points. I mean, everything we've just talked about, long field goals, whatever, extra points can't be missed like

they were today. That's ridiculous. And I just think maybe teams should just always go for two. How hard is that? You're probably going to convert one out of two, right? Well, you could argue the Chargers should have done that a couple times. Absolutely. It's not like the Browns were ever stopping them. House is right. The Chargers should never, ever kick.

They shouldn't even really kick off. They should just blow the ball off the tee, whatever they want to do. Don't use a kicker anymore. I have good news for both of you guys. This episode of the Bill Simmons Podcast is brought to you by Uber Eats. Uber Eats makes any game better. They cover special game day deals

throughout the NFL season so you know you have something satisfying to look forward to even if the games don't go how you expected them to go. Today, House and I had salads. We went super healthy.

I told you, cuz. And then we got dinner from a vegan place and House, instead of watching the KC Bills game, was Googling about the effect of soy on male genitals for about an hour.

Oh, no. I know it's good for my prostate. Yeah, yeah, no. Can we bet on that? You can't even bet on that, can you? No. Uber Eats is,

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Uber Eats bringing you game day deals all season order now. Before we do Guess the Line, Sal, I'll give you 40 seconds to complain about the correctly interpreted ground rule double in the Red Sox game

that brought a tsunami of hatred against the Boston teams. Yet again, it's the Boston team's fault that he correctly interpreted rule, which Twitter account Red Sox stats pointed out Kevin cash. When it happened to Tampa two years ago, they were on defense. Same thing.

Kevin cash came out, argued and the call got overturned. It was a ground rule. Double guy only got to advance third. This is the rule. Sal, I'm sorry. Look,

you're right. Change the rule. I'm sorry. Look, you're right. Change the rule. I know, I know. It just happens that your team benefits from all this shit all the time. This is a tuck rule of baseball, but when the ball bounces off the wall, you could actually guide it with your chest over the fence. I know no one's

going to do this, or if you headbutt it over the fence, you can keep the guy at third base when you start at first. It's smart play. Ridiculous. No, it's ridiculous. Come on. Give me a break. They use discretion. When the ball gets stuck in a fence, they're allowed to move the runners how they think it would have ended up. I don't understand why they got on with New York. By the way, when they say, well, they're going to be talking to New York. No, New York hates Boston. I don't know. Whatever idiots on the end of that phone call is going to screw Boston. So they didn't call New York.

Boston wins. All right, they won the two-run homer in the bottom of the 13th, so it probably didn't matter. But for God's sakes, look at your team now. Now you're into them. Now, after you said it was all graveyard after the Yankees, now you're really pissed off when they lose and when it's close and things like that.

We have to win three rounds or win the World Series. Of course, we'd be invested. Just like you saw today, they barely have enough pitchers to bring it to a close. They brought in Hansel Robles in the eighth inning to go through the heart of the camp order. What happened to you dying in peace? You wrote a book that now I could die in peace.

Do we have a book burning party? What are we doing? Why do you even care about this team anymore? You died in peace. You won a bunch of Cowboys Super Bowls in the 90s. Why do you care? I don't remember. I can't remember that. I really like this Red Sox team.

I was invested this season. I bet the over. I really enjoyed it. After we beat the Yankees, everything else was gravy, but now we have a chance to finish off this incredible race team. It's really good. I think we could marathon day tomorrow. I'm feeling good, House.

House's eyes were glazing over by, he was the only one who wasn't excited that we were in the 13th inning and everyone was running out of pitchers. I was not prepared for a six-hour fucking baseball game today. Well, we have three other TVs. It's week five of the NFL. We have a bunch of top teams out there. He was choking off cabbage. He couldn't actually see straight.

Now, you have to be most surprised with your bullpen, right? Like that they're keeping you in these games. Six and seven guys you're watching out there. The Pavetta thing today was, you know, that guy has been hit or miss all year. More miss than hit. But, man, he was energized. You never know when you get to October.

House, your team won a couple years ago. The intensity, the electricity, the crowd. Some guys actually get better. And you're like, I was watching you for six months and you weren't doing this. And now your fastball is two miles an hour faster and you're hitting locations.

And then there's other guys like Rosarena who I had on my keeper team who was like a 270 hitter all year. And then there's other guys like Rosa Reyna, who I had on my keeper team, who was like a 270 hitter all year. And then he gets to the playoffs and he's like Willie Mays. That's the guy you knocked down when he was running the second base and no interference was called? Yeah, Schwarber. Got in his way a little bit.

Okay, yeah. What dog do you have in this race? You're rooting for Tampa? I don't care about Tampa. I just need my Yankees and Red Sox fans to friends to go away. That's all I need. It's fine. Oh my God. Well,

you're going to be in the same boat with your Cowboys. We should, um, we should talk about that because house and I were arguing about what the marquee game of the week should be. Week six lines. Mm hmm. I won last week,

right? Yeah. You're up three to two. I'm up now. We're counting it. We're going head to head to head here, right? Yeah, if House wins, then we both get a loss. Am I allowed to have some meat if I win?

Can I have a piece of meat? House, I'm going to send you meat after this. I swear to God. Thank you, cuz. We're going to get you an Impossible Burger House. And some soy chicken nuggets. Fucking California. House is going back to Loteria at the airport.

Is that enough? I did see that I was walking out mental oh before we did guess the lines I had a question yeah so when I always do my power pose I would always have the sleeper so I'd have like

the favorite the contenders and the sleeper in the top three categories right I would say the favorite would now be the bills right just this sure I'm, right? I would say the favorite would now be the Bills, right? Just this week. I'm not saying they're going to win the Super Bowl.

I'm saying right now, I think the Bills are the favorite. The contenders, Arizona, Chargers, Rams, Tampa, Dallas, and KC has to be in there in the two and three. Who's the sleeper? Would you say KC is the sleeper now? We just put KC in with the contenders. No, but I'm saying Would you say KC is the sleeper now? We just put KC in with the contenders. No, but I'm saying if you pull them out of the contenders and make KC the actual

sleeper because everybody's like, they're done, no defense. Are they now a sleeper or are they still a contender? See, this is what I mean. We talked about eight teams are very good. Now you're asking me to pull from the pool of nine to 32 and I don't think I don't see any team in there as a sleeper.

You want to say, all right. So you don't have Cleveland in there, right? Yeah. So sleeper possibles would be Cleveland, Green Bay, Baltimore,

San Francisco, maybe Carolina. If McCaffrey comes back, I would say those are the sleeper. I don't feel like any of them are like a sleeper. I think, I mean, Cleveland's not a sleeper.

Cleveland's good. Cleveland belongs with the contenders. I think. Yeah. And Green them are like, uh-oh, sleeper. I think, I mean, Cleveland's not a sleeper. Cleveland's good. Cleveland belongs with the contenders, I think. Yeah, and Green Bay could get a one seed in the NFC. They really can't. They're just, I mean, that last New Orleans game was basically the final preseason game after that first New Orleans game. All right, so we have no sleeper. No, that's what I mean. It's all chalk. And I don't even

necessarily feel like we have a favorite. I would put Buffalo in there, but I don't feel like Buffalo's like, oh yeah, Buffalo, put them in. We're good. We don't have to be one of those people. It's only week six. Thanks for not really having an answer for me. All right, the Chicago

Bears. There we go. There's our sleeper. Good defense. Chicago Bears could be in first place this week if they beat the Packers. I know that's not your marquee game, but yeah, why not?

Why the hell not? They proved that they have a running game even without Montgomery. Those two guys that everyone picked up on their wave of wire had like 130 combined. The quarterback's not terrible. He's learning to make fewer mistakes in their defense.

Roquan Smith had a monster game today. And Khalil Mack is stepping up. I think they're right in there with everybody. I like when Nagy, when basically the reason he gets hired is he's an offensive guru, right? Yeah. Their offense is terrible with multiple quarterbacks. And then finally, he does this game with Fields where it's just absolute an abomination of coaching.

He discreetly gives the play calling to this other guy, Bill Lazor. In the dead of night. So now it's like you watch Nagy on the sidelines and you go, this was your only specialty was you were an offensive guru. You're now no longer calling the plays.

Right. Why are you here? Yeah. What are you? It's like the Jason Garrett syndrome all over again. That's exactly what happened. What's your job? Yeah.

You have no duties now. It's unbelievable. Have we seen Nagy clap? Does he clap at all? He's got to work on his clapping. Simmons, you and I said he'd be gone by week seven. I'm going to lose a lot of money on the Bears this year, and I'm here for it because it'll help my guy Jason Goff's podcast

if the Bears are good. But yeah, I'm losing Bears. I had the under. Who's the first coach fired now? If it's not Gruden, who is the first coach fired? Is it this Bengals guy, Zach Taylor? Does Urban Meyer, does he cash in that bet if he just doesn't show up for work

this week? I think so. I think so. Yeah. That counts as fired. Resignation counts as fired. What if it's not even a resignation? What if he just disappears for like four days? He's like Kendall Roy.

He pulls a Kyrie? No, he's like Kendall Roy. He's just in New Mexico in some safe house. Kendall Roy sounds a lot like Kyrie if you put them together. Yeah. They are kind of the same. Yeah. I think if you're dismissed, you're fired. Or come to terms with releasing, however they word it. So fired, it shouldn't be first coach fired.

It should be first coach relieved. Yeah, yeah, yeah. First coaching change or whatever it is, yeah. The naggy thing kills me. Every time they show them on the sideline, I'm dying. It would be like if I did such a bad job hosting this podcast that Spotify was like, we've decided to relieve your hosting duties, but you're still going to be in the podcast. Cool. Okay. And then it was just somebody else hosting it. And I'm kind of here holding a clipboard waiting to be called into my own

podcast. The Bill Simmons podcast brought to you by Chris Ryan. Chris Ryan's now hosting it. I'm over here and I have a clipboard. I'm good. Bill's helping Kyle dig out the audio. But yeah, you'll never hear from him.

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picked 10 in a row on Fox. No one at the network acknowledges it even a little bit. They make fun of me that I'm so into it. But for God's sakes, 10 in a row. And if your money line parlayed, no one would ever do this. But if your money line parlayed those winners, it's 144 to 1 odds. And I only picked straight up.

So this is kind of the easy one, right? Tampa and Philly. My favorite thing about the cuz is it's 80% a bit, but 20% deep down, he does feel like this should be on the front page of every newspaper that he's done 10 in a row. 20?

30%? It's like, how many of you did 12 in a row before you actually called the head of Fox and being like, what the fuck? Do you realize I have 12 in a row? Do you realize how hard this is?

I do get mad. I did this with ESPN. I remember. And Yahoo wrote a story about i'm like hey you're getting scooped by your competition here they're like well we don't like to celebrate you too much we're still the espn thing was way more impressive 10 in a row for this is good but you're in that clip you were on was such a heater this is not about me but i'm just saying for god for God's sake, they have me on to pick games. I do a better job than Terry does reading the prompter. I don't know.

I'm going to get fired from this. Fuck. Fox has decided to replace you with Matt Nagy. He's going to hold a clipboard and not have an opinion on the Thursday night game. That's fine. We'll switch jobs. So this is in Philly. Yeah.

I think the Bucs are favored, and I think they're going to be favored by three and a half points House what do you have holy cow way more than that I have the Bucks Philly won and that was a surprising win and you know the darling early season darling Carolina Panthers I mean they have injuries

Darnold threw a pick that was like very familiar. But I still, you know, Tampa by six is my guess. House, you don't get five minutes for your answers. It's usually like a 26. Tampa minus six. It's not a fellow bester. At Philly, Tampa minus six, right?

All right. House and I get it because I said seven. And yeah, Simmons, maybe you should step away from your own podcast. That was a very bad line. What do you, why do you think three and a half? Tampa just punishes

all these mediocre teams. Tampa has no secondary at all. Yeah. None to speak of. And I think Philly, I think the last couple weeks, they've actually been pretty impressive.

They've been able to move the ball when they needed to. I don't know how they won that game. I'm with you, House. I don't know. I look at those stats and Hurts and how he did it. He had 198 passing yards. They had 91 rushing. Panthers couldn't cover a safety, end up being

a safety. Should have been a touchdown. I don't like this Philly team. We saw something unbelievable today from Miles Sanders. Eagles had the lead late. They're up three. Runs out of bounds, I think on consecutive plays. Twice, right? Yeah, he did it twice.

Yeah. Both times. They didn't yell at him until the second time. Yeah. Didn't seem aware of anything at all. And then they came out of a commercial or something. And the running back coach was yelling at him the same way way. Like I yell at my son when he leaves, you know,

the half and half out for eight hours in the counter. It's like, like miles. We're winning. The goal is to get them to use your timeouts. You've been playing football your whole life. Your son doesn't drink half and half. Come on.

He doesn't. Unless half of it is vodka. Then I don't know what the other half is. Parrot corner. Parrot corner. All right, does. Half of it is vodka. I don't know what the other half is. Parrot Corner? Parrot Corner. All right, here we go. Sunday Marquee. House said this is bullshit. This is a hometown job that I picked this for Sunday Marquee, but my point is

when was the last time we had a Cowboys Pats game since we've done Guest Alliance where Sal's been in the driver's seat with the two football teams. This is Sal's time to shine. It's a Sal Marquis game. I am in the driver's seat. I am driving a souped up

Nissan. I don't know what I'm driving, but yeah, I love this. I go way high on these Cowboys lines, but what'd you think? I had Cowboys in New England by three points. I like the Cowboys by four.

All right. You and Simmons split this one because I said five. Now, this will go to five. It is three and a half right now, but it will go up. Who's taking New England here? You can't keep up with us. As I said, we can't block. We don't make big plays.

And we can't get stops. And we lose the turnover battle every week. Right. There's a lot. I'm on different Pat's threads right now with multiple people. Nora was the one who first wrote about this in the ring. I've been floating around and she did a good job.

Are you counting? Hench has multiple personalities, but is he on more than one? Hench is on multiple threads. He is. Okay. That Belichick, he's just lost so many coaches that one of the reasons he likes having his two sons as the coaching staff is because

your sons will be two of the coaches that will never leave. But that we used to have this incredible coaching advantage where Belichick, you know, the greatest coach of all time. And then we would always have at least three or four assistants who had a chance to get hired.

And now it's basically like his sons and some other guys and Josh McDaniels who can't get hired anymore. And we just look sloppy. We've fumbled in, I think, every game. I think every running back we have has fumbled at this point. And over and over again, it's just like

it's just been a very unpatriotic kind of first five games. Yeah, that's got to be right. Every team that wins a Super Bowl loses at least one of their coordinators, and you never had to deal with that. So I think you're exactly right. There's no question. Well, we would lose. We lost way back when

we lost Charlie Weiss and Romero Cornell. They were always able to replenish and replace. And then I think when Flores left, that was a really tough one because Patricia had left. Flores was the new DC. Effectively DC. They weren't calling it that. And then he was gone

and at some point he just kind of run out. I mean, Sal, you, you know what it's like to have terrible coaches house. How many head coaches have you had this century? Oh my God. 415.

Yeah. It's just, it's very, it's, it's, there's a different field of this Patriots thing where it's like, why can't we buck? Why do we keep turning the ball over?

Why are the running backs so sloppy with it? So anyway, I'm not going to feel bad for you. Are you waiting for us to feel bad for you? You're the best quarterback and the best coach for two decades. Like, I don't know where, yeah. I'm not asking for sympathy. Yeah. I'm just saying that

we live in a world where the Cowboys are three and a half point favorites in New England and the line might be too low. Yeah, the best coach in NFL history hasn't in New England and the line might be too low. Yeah, the best coach in NFL history hasn't had a winning season since his quarterback left.

You'll get a phony ground rule double call in the fourth quarter and that'll be that. You'll cover at least. Well, I've heard they're going to actually have electric current

running through the pylons. He saw what happened with Zeke. Really wants to injure him this time around. Squirting soup out of the top like a geyser. Yeah. The watchables. We've got five watchable games. Ravens-Chargers, which House Thoughts should have been the marquee game.

That's a great game. The Chargers are really the most fun AFC team, even though we have a lot of fun AFC teams. This is in Baltimore. We don't know what's going to happen tomorrow night with the Ravens, obviously, but I'm guessing nothing too crazy happens. I have Ravens by three.

I think this is a field goal game. What do you have, House? I'll just do Ravens by one. I mean, that Chargers team is so complete, both sides of the ball. I understand they win by they cover sides of the ball. I understand, you know, where they win by, they cover. If the Ravens cover tomorrow, then it makes sense for them by one. If they, you know, something happens, the Colts,

then Chargers will be favored, I think. All right, I get this one for myself. Three and a half is the answer. Wow. Ravens by three and a half. Yeah, it's a little sucker betty, right? I think everybody's on the Chargers right now. Although it will be a short week for the Ravens by three and a half Yeah it looks a little sucker betty right I think everybody's on the Chargers right now Although it will be a short week for the Ravens

I don't know what to say Let's talk this out I just thought on a neutral field I think the Chargers Are a better team Are we just waiting for them to go back To being the Chargers at least for one week Where they blow a game that they shouldn't Win or they should win and they don't.

We're just waiting for that to happen. I feel like that's in their rearview mirror. Yeah. Well, House and I were talking today about how the Browns were just running right up the Chargers' ass for four quarters. Mm-hmm.

And I was like, this is a real issue. Like, they can't stop the run. And House said, well, this is really the only team that can do this the way the Browns... The Browns were, like, running

for, it felt like, 10 yards a carry. Right. The Ravens that can do this the way the Browns were running for, it felt like, 10 yards a carry. Right. The Ravens potentially could do this if they can figure out, out of the 17 running backs they have, if they can figure out somebody beyond Lamar who could be a consistent running thing, they'll be able to run on the Chargers too, you would think. Yeah. I'll say this, and we never look at it this way.

We're trying to figure out why this is more, and you're right. They're probably the same on a neutral field. It's probably at least even maybe Chargers by one. Are they counting the kicking difference here? Is Tucker like a one and a half point difference for Chargers who you don't even know who's going to kick or if they are going to kick next week? Could be. First time.

Great point. Sal, that's why you make the big bucks. Points like that. The Fugo kickers, you're right. That's a Tucker two and a half. It's like a seven and a half point swing between the two kickers. Who's the Chargers guy? What's his name? Vizcaino. Vizcaino. Man. Vizcaino. Get lost though.

Not a lot of confidence in Vizcainno when he goes out. They should just show the sidelines during the kicks like a split screen of the guys trying to get mad. You know, the poor guys, the defense or Herbert. All right, next game. I think this is a watchable.

It's Packers at Chicago. This is... For first place. This is a fun game. If they can get anything out of fields in this game with his legs, which I think they were just very careful with him in this Raiders game.

Maybe they're going to try to unleash him in the Packers game. But just in general, really physical defense, kind of an old school Bears team. It's a 20 to 17, 17 to 14. Those are the games they want to be. And can they knock around pretty boy Rogers?

It's a fun one. I have the Packers three and a half point favorites in Chicago house. In Chicago, three and a half. It's a pretty good one. You can borrow that number if you want. I like to be different. I'll just say three. Packers by three. You should have said four. It's four pretty good one. You can borrow that number if you want. I like to be different. I'll just say three. Packers by three.

You should have said four. It's four and a half. So Simmons and I split that one. But you're right. So this count is the screwy Packers game, but this is kind of the same situation, except obviously division rival, oldest rivalry, all that stuff. But you went in on the road, three point, three and a half point favorite. I just don't know

what Packers team we're going to see. If they're bullcrap, non-aggressive like we saw with LaFleur running on third and threes, then it could be down to the wire here. And Jair Alexander, we'll see if he plays too. Next one, watchable. Chiefs

Washington. It's in Washington. There's going to be plenty of Chiefs-Washington. It's in Washington. There's going to be plenty of Chiefs fans there. I think this has to go in the watchables because I think the Chiefs now every week are in the watchables until we see what the F is going on with them. Not to mention their defense literally can't stop anybody. This could be a game where, I mean, conceivably,

you could pick up Heineken in your fantasy league this week and not feel like a complete schmuck if you needed a quarterback. You might feel like a little schmuck. What if you're the guy with Russell Wilson and you're like, I need a quarterback and they're all taking it. You're like, alright, Heineken against Chiefs? Maybe. He's not

going to put up 10 fantasy points. That's for damn sure against this team. But I still want permission. Well, give your lines and then I want house's permission on something. I couldn't decide if this was out of the teasable zone, which is nine points.

So I put it right under I have chiefs by eight and a half. Oh, good. Good. Because I, yeah, I have eight. I like chiefs by eight. All right. I'm going to get this one. I said seven and a half. It's only six and a half. I want your permission house. I like Chiefs by eight. I'm going to get this one. I said seven and a half. It's only six and a half. I want your permission house. I want your permission

that we could put this on our monster team much like we did a couple weeks ago when the Chiefs went to the Eagles after they lost two in a row. I get what you're saying. Heineke could have the game of his life, but I don't think they have 42 points. They do not. That Eagles game is a very good marker for what kind of,

this is like a 44, 28 or a 51. The why we don't have to talk about the Washington defense anymore. They gave up a Hail Mary on the last play of the first half where nobody jumped, not one. And then the why then the Washington said we were expecting them to try, be trying for a field goal.

So we were playing to defend the field goal. It was terrible. The end zone. It was awful. All right. So I have your permission then. That's you have my, Oh my God.

I'm going to join you. I'm on it with you. All right, good. I'm only going to raise this red flag. The teasers have been really reliable this season. Oh, that's a red flag.

Don't jinx them. Yeah. There's been multiple pull the teas out of the deep recesses of your rectum wins. There's also been some that, that Rams Seahawks, anybody who had Seahawks plus eight and a half, like me Thursday night,

that did not end in a polite way. But you're not winning a game where Geno Smith has to come in to save your tees. Eight and a half, he was right there. Sean McVay made five bad decisions to give the Rams that opportunity. Oh my god. I can't wait until we get to the Geno Smith game.

I've been dying to have that conversation with both of you. All right. I think the Chiefs are a tease. And they're not going two and four. It can't happen just yet. Panthers are home for the Vikings. I put this in the watchables.

I think these are two teams that the Vikings, their offense has been a little impotent the last couple weeks. Panthers, Chuba Hubbard came in for McCaffrey. Really winnable. That's one of those where they got to look back at that Eagles game, what, six, seven, eight weeks ago when they're fighting for a playoff spot and going, oh my God, that fucking Eagles game. I don't know how they lost it. I had it basically penciled in, not on a Sharpie,

but a pencil that they were done. There were no way they were losing the Eagles. Then they ended up losing. I have the Panthers by, I'm going to say three and a half against the Vikings. What do you have, House? Oh,

I'm just going to say the Panthers by one. It's in Carolina. I got sick of thinking about this. I couldn't take it anymore. So I said, pick them. And House is right. It's one and a half. So he gets that.

Wow. I mean, this is watchable until it's 13-9 the fourth quarter. And then you're like, all right, I got to find another game to put on it. Wait, so Vegas is saying the Vikings on a neutral field are better than the Panthers? I guess so. I don't know. Despite the two and three. I mean, Darnold

has five picks in the last two weeks. I mean, it's what you believe. Is he going back to what he was, even with McCaffrey? Defense is solid, though. Darnold was bad today. Darnold was bad. Darnold was like, he was in our keeper league, was in a fantasy trade. Somebody traded for Sam Darnold.

I think the Wirehangers in our league. Right. To actually start Sam Darnold. I think the Wirehangers in our league. Right. To actually start Sam Darnold. And now the wheels have come off. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, he just doesn't... He didn't seem like he had any interest in ever leaving the pocket

despite what... Didn't matter what was going on around him. It's weird. Him versus Cousins is a classic. Just something's missing and you can't put your finger on it. Quarterback game. I think he saw the Eagles uniforms

and reminded him of the Jets and he just freaked out a little bit. He saw the ghosts. He has problems with ghosts. Last one also could have been a marquee game. Browns home for the Cardinals. Yeah. That's the best game of the weekend, I think.

This is the best one. This is a nine and one combined record, these two. Hey, I know it's the best one. Oh, am I wrong? No, no, no. I wanted to pay homage to you. I got you. 15 years,

you finally have the upper hand in a Cowboys-Pats game. I thought I was being a nice guy and now I'm a dick. You're right. No, no, you're right. Hal, shut up. You did the right thing.

Yeah, shut up, Hal. Browns-Cardinals. I think it's going to be Browns two and a half. I don't think it's quite a three. I think neutral field Cardinals is a tiny bit better. I got Browns two and a half. I don't think it's quite a three. I think neutral field Cardinals is a tiny bit better. I got Browns two and a half. It's Browns at home?

Yeah. I like that number. I'll say Browns two. All right. Simmons and I split it. It is Browns three. I said three and a half. Okay.

You said two and a half. I said three and a half. Browns two. That's a good one. That's a really good one. That's a damn good one. How are you feeling about Baker these days, Sal? Honestly, this is probably one of his best games, right?

And against a Chargers team that doesn't allow yards to any of these quarterbacks. They played your team, right, House? All right, whatever, Heineke. They kept Mahomes under, even losing to Dallas. They kept Dak under like 220 yards. Carr had like 1,200 yards in four games, three games. They kept him under 200 yards. So this is a good defense, and the one thing he can't do is that last drive.

That's the one thing we can't get out of him, right? You don't really trust him. If I listed 12 quarterbacks, all playoff contenders, he would be in the bottom. He'd be 10th, 11th, or 12th if he had the ball with two minutes left down five. There's a weirdly comforting, if you like the other team, when Baker has to go basically 70 yards with four minutes left.

I just don't feel like he's coming through. Your buddies Chubb, Hunt, you could throw screen passes to them, but now you're going to burn all your time. So. Yeah. We're going to take one more break and then we're going to do the barely watchables. How can you be sure your child is making the right decision when choosing a university? The smart approach is to look at the facts. Like the fact that York U graduates have a 90% employer satisfaction rate. All right, barely watchables.

Giants are home. I have no idea who's on the Giants next week. The Danny Dimes thing was rough. That was about as concussed as we've seen somebody in a football game who wasn't just

I don't like that one. They're just like stumbling to the line of scrimmage. That's not good. And Barkley Zanko looks awful. Gaulde got hurt. All of a sudden, Tony, who's now, I think, there's going to be a run of Tony jerseys in the Giants. He was

amazing. Then got thrown out for punching somebody. Yeah. It was a total Tony experience. Tyson Fury, in addition to being the leading receiver. Right. I have the Rams laying nine points to the football Giants in New Jersey. the leading receiver. I have the Rams laying

nine points to the football giants in New Jersey. Is this like an afternoon? Do we know what time of day this game is? It's early. The Rams had Thursday night, so a little extra rest.

Ten days. The west coast to east coast isn't going to be a factor extra rest. 10 days. Yeah, they'll have 10 days. So the West Coast to East Coast isn't going to be a factor. I shouldn't double digits. This is at least 10 Rams by 10. I love house. You got it. I said eight and a half.

You said nine Simmons. You said 10. It's 10 and a half. And it was six and a half like before the game, like when they do lines before the game that so that's how much dimes, Glennon, makes a difference. So Dimes, I guess, is really out of it, right?

I mean, he's really out. Yeah. That's too bad. This would have been a fun game. I mean, I certainly wouldn't be pumped about having Danny Dimes as my quarterback for the next 15 years, but he was kind of frisky this season. He was, you know, they were at least moving the ball

a little bit with him. He was okay. Darius Toney will help. Broncos home for the Raiders. Speaking of quarterbacks who don't instill a ton of confidence in you when they're trying for the game-tying touchdown with four minutes left,

Teddy B going against our guy Carr, who was really feeling great two weeks ago, or a week ago. Rough week for the Raiders. Now Carr got called out by Bosa. Looked like crap again today. Had a couple dumb drops

that weren't his fault, but for the most part, that Raiders team just has the look of run away. Is it fair to say this could be a loser leaves town match? I was just going to say it probably is in the playoff, uh, world,

but the way we look at it, losers three and three winners, four and two. I still bet Denver to not make the playoffs at plus one Oh six before today. I, I still love that. But the, the way you pointed it out today,

crap, there aren't seven teams. It might get him just doing nothing the rest of the way. Yeah, it's weird to say week six is a loser leaves town, but I think one of these teams has to get to 10 wins to make the playoffs. And if you're three and three, that means you're not going to keep beating the Chiefs, either of them, right? They still have the Chargers games left.

Yeah. I have the Broncos at home favored by three over the Raiders house. I'm just going to say three and a half to be different, but I think the number is three. We should have been the same. It should be a follower house all the time. Simmons and I are right. We both have three.

Three is the number. All right, so we split that one. Our Poopfecta has three wonderful games. You know, I'm moving. We actually, one of them, I'm,

I'm moving the Bengals lions and a barely watchables. Cause I kind of enjoy both of those teams. So we have two in the fact that Bengals, uh, at Detroit, Detroit has been, you can't call them the good-bad team because they're not good,

but they're kind of like the frisky-bad team. They're just kind of lingering. You have to cut their head off to finish the game against them. And I don't like this spot for the Bengals. The Lions,

it just looks like they're inching closer and closer to a win, whereas you look like a team like the Jaguars and they're inching further and further away from a win. I think the Bengals have to be favored by three. And like a team like the Jaguars and they're inching further and further away from a win.

I think the Bengals have to be favored by three and I kind of like the Lions and that is my pick. What do you have, House? You can say three. Just take it. Go for the push. I don't want to. I'll say the Bengals by two. Oh, wow. The last one

we both said three and he said three. You should have said three and a half. Three and a half.mons and i take that uh i think you're right i think i think detroit they have to win eventually so i'm trying to think out of them and miami jacksonville which we're going to talk about a second who wins first it just seems like golf has to be able to figure it out at some point. Our worst five teams of the year right now, Jets, Detroit, Houston, Jacksonville have to be four of the five. For the fifth spot, would you say Giants or Atlanta? Atlanta's two and three somehow.

Atlanta beat the Giants. Yeah. So it has to be. It's got to be the Giants. Although, yeah, I guess we'll have to see Indianapolis. But no matter what, they'll be better than the Giants, right? Atlanta finally started throwing the pits at least. Yeah.

Poop Fecta. Dolphins at the Jags. You know this is in London, right? I did it, Sal. You did it. I finally did it. I was proud of you last week. You knew the Red Sox would come back to haunt me. I think that it's

barely, it has to be, even though you're right, it's a poopfecta, but it's also a barely watchable because even when you're watching, you're barely watching. It's 6.30 in the morning. Yeah. And you got an eye and a half closed at it too. And I'm starting to get mad at these London games, right? It's like, all right, here's the Jets and the Falcons.

One, we're going to send you one bag of crap. And then another bag of like brownies, but it's going to turn into crap in the fourth quarter. If you're on with customer service with AT&T for an hour, you're like, hey, you wasted an hour of my life. Why aren't we angrier with the NFL for making us wake up at 6.15 in the morning to catch these dumb games? This is an awful game.

I'm going to absolutely sleep through the first half of it. I'm going to wake up, and one of the teams will be up 17-0, like what happened today. And I have no idea which one. I'm going to say Dolphins by... I'm going to stick with my guess when I thought it was the Jacksonville.

Dolphins by five and a half. What do you have, Hass? They have lap dances in London. Yeah. They do. They have pubs and cell phones. He might stay there for months. I like them by six.

Wow, you guys went high. I said three and a half. It's three. Three, sure. That's them by six. Wow, you guys went high. I said three and a half. It's three. Three, sure. That's a dumb line. I gave you three points for the lap dance. That's stupid. This is three points better than the Jags. Come on. That's basically saying that

on a neutral field, they're only a field goal better. We consider this a neutral field, right? This isn't like a Jaguars home game or there are more Jags fans in England. It's literally a neutral field. Yeah, yeah.

It is a neutral field. So they're only a field goal better than the Jags? They've been pretty bad. They're six points better. They've been pretty damn bad, Miami. I don't know. I trust their quarterback more, but not been lighting it up lately.

I'm not betting into this game. Next one. Colts. I just say, you know, the other thing with the London game is there's always some kind of dumb pool or something that you have to. No, no, you didn't put your pick in. And now you slept till 715 instead of 630. And now that pool activates before the first game kicks off. It's like, screw you.

Anyway, I'm sick of the London games. Sorry. Colts. Texans. I, I'm sick of the games. Sorry. Colts-Texans. I probably went too high on this. It's in Indianapolis. I have no idea if the Colts are good. I guess we'll know more after tomorrow night. Colts minus nine was

my pick. I went high. Wow. I'm not going that high. I like... I'll say Colts by five and a half. Yeah, Simmons is right. I went light too. I said

six and a half. It's ten. Wow. Nobody's trusting this Texas team. Vegas is getting killed on teases this year, and they don't want you to tease games under three where their team's going to lose. And that's just the way it is. Speaking of fucked up games,

Sunday night, Steelers with a quarterback. Sal, is this a stat? Can you talk to somebody? I don't know if you know people who know stats. No. Fox, you might. Fox, StatCast, whatever. Mm-hmm.

I feel like Roethlisberger, defenders have at least touched one of his passes in five games. Somewhere between 20 and 25 times. I'm not just talking about picks. I'm saying like, tips, deflection, drop picks. This should be a stat

that we should be able to look at. I like that. He has to have the most. Passes, touch. Passes, defense. Yeah. Because Mack. Mack today against the Texans.

Mack was good, but had five really bad plays in that game. And they dropped three picks. There was one where the guys collided, both trying to pick it. But there's a world in which he had four picks today. I thought he still played well. They couldn't block. They had no offensive line, but I think probably five times during that game, a Texan

touched one of his passes. That's a good one. I just think that should be a stat. Yeah. I bet it is. Well, if it is, hit House's Twitter because he looks at his replies. Passes defended can be blocked at the line of scrimmage or knocked down 20 yards downfield.

Like all that stuff you're saying. Yeah. Tip pass, just somebody. Because they have this in basketball. They have like deflections as a stat. They definitely have it in football. All right. Right.

All right. You know who knows the answer to this? Ben Solak. The Terminator. Ben Solak. The Terminator. I do worry about their Oh we didn't Did we pick a line for this?

I'm waiting Well Before we do I just want to set the Set the scene for Sunday night We're in Pittsburgh Ben Roethlisberger on the one side Who

Has seven just terrible plays every game, like really terrible, like sad. Like during, it was like my last year of when I was playing pickup basketball, but there were just moments where like, wow, I got to retire. This is like, I'm embarrassed. Everyone's embarrassed for me. I'm embarrassed for myself. Happens to all the greats out there.

Ben Roethlisberger, Phil Simmons. And me. So you have him on one side and the other side, you have Geno Smith, who the three of us have been dying to wager against. Honestly, I had a lot of regrets about a lot of things in life. One of them was, did I bet enough money against Geno Smith in my life? The answer is no. And now I have the two of them battling each other.

Geno, Ben Roethlisberger on a Sunday night. What a wonderful sporting event this is. Right. You know, you talked me out of it. I was wondering, because NBC could flex a couple games in the week's 5 through 10 spot. They passed on flexing this. Like, why don't they have Cleveland, Arizona? Because they're smart.

What do you mean they're smart? Roethlisberger versus Geno. This is can't miss television. No, I think you're right, though. I think they're thinking this is Big Ben's last Sunday night game. Right? I don't know that he has another one. And if he does, he probably won't last till it.

But I'm a little afraid of Geno Smith. He had two monster drives on Thursday night. But he was Geno Smith. He looked great, and then he threw a pass right to the other team, and then we cut to the sideline shot of him going, damn, I was so close. Yeah, and now... Just that one play where I just

threw it right to the other guy. God. Even worse than that, there's tape on him now. I think there was like VCR tape on him before this, but now there's actually tape on him to watch. I mean, yeah, So they'll probably, Tomlin will probably figure it out. Although that Steelers defense doesn't, I don't think they forced

any turnovers today. They give up big plays. Not as great. Reminiscent of what people thought of House's defense. And starting to come around a little bit. No, man. Shout out House. I'm sorry. I'm called for. I have the Steelers Steelers by six and a half over the Seahawks.

Wow. Shouldn't have reacted. I'm going to say Steelers by seven. Wow. I'm going to get this. I said six and I'm way high. It's three and a half. Wow. That's a lot of

Gino respect. That's a lot of Gino respect. And that's a six-point swing or five and a half. Who is that respect for? I looked it up last week. It was plus two. So Seattle with Russell Wilson would have been laying two. But it's only a five and a half point swing, it seems. Do you think, I'm looking at who they play.

Do you think Vegas is thinking this is like a kitchen sink game for Seattle or the Sharps? They must, right? Yeah, you can't fall apart. Pittsburgh can't fall that far behind in that division either. Well, Seattle, if they lose this, they're 2-4, and then they got the Saints the next week on Monday Night Football. Yeah, but I mean, as long as Hustle and Bustle is out,

you can count all those as big underdog games, right? Terrible. Monday night, Bills. I guess this is before the game tonight. I'm going to change my pick. Bills at Tennessee. And I think the Bills have to be favored, I'm going to say

six and a half house it's at least a touchdown to me the minimum of seven let me check this hold on because I didn't check since the end of the game so what are your guesses again? six and a half for me seven for a house I went four and a half and it's

three and a half so I get it and a half. So I get it. And I whooped your asses. I mean, is anybody watch the Tennessee Titans defense? Did anyone's watch them beat them? What? No, the defense. The Tennessee Titans defense. Oh, the defense. Yeah, they're going to give up 60 points. I don't

care where they play in. Do they have a home field advantage in Tennessee where they lost by 32 to Arizona the first week? Here's the thing. You can look at it two ways. The Bills shut out bad teams. The Dolphins, sorry Simmons, they beat you, but they shut out

the Dolphins and the Texans. Maybe their defense wasn't that good, but I think they convinced themselves that it was good. We could beat anybody. Let's go to Kansas City with the same swagger. There's that school or they're due for a big letdown at school. That could be. It's a letdown moment for sure.

The Chiefs didn't have a Derrick Henry. That's for damn sure. Sal, when you win, when it's a three-way match like this, I love this. It's a little like in WWE when there's a triple threat match. How? It's like you won, but not really. It was the third person.

House shoved me into the ref at one point. I fell out of the ring. What a terrible sport you are. It counts as a win. It's fine. I was swinging wildly. I pinned both of you. I laid one of you on top of the other

and dropped multiple elbows. I was an easy knockout. Asked for a King Kong Bundy five count. And that was that. 3-3 after six weeks. We're going to take one more break, and then we're going to do a couple sports things at Parent Corner. All right, quickly, before we do Parent Corner,

Sal, I won an unbelievable bet on Friday night and into Sunday night. Oh, yeah. I think you told me about it, but go ahead. So, Taurasi, I'm not a WNBA, like, not a huge fan. I kind of know what's going on, but I love Taurasi. I've always loved Taurasi. I think she's absolutely the goat. She came on the Grantland Basketball Hour.

She was a great guest. I think she's been on my podcast. I'm just, I love her. So it's a must win game on Friday night against Vegas. I decided to parlay Phoenix. They're getting five and a half with Minnesota's money line and Sunday and Tampa's money line.

And it's like, it's a cross sport. Cross. Wow. It's great. I really, I don't know if I've ever done this before. And then I'm watching the Friday night, the Mercury, they're down 10.

And somebody on Vegas trash talks Taurasi. And Taurasi gets in her face and they're like going at it. Like Bird and Kareem in the 84 finals. Taurasi lays the smack down in the fourth quarter. And then that Phoenix ends up winning it and it was just really really wonderful. My point is

I'm going to do it again. Phoenix lost today. I met Chelsea Gray from the Vegas Aces on my podcast and she was delightful too. She was part of the women's Olympic team, but they went head-to-head here. It was a great game. It was a lot of fun. That game is really fun. So I'm going to do that again.

I'm going to, I'm just telling you now. Oh, I think the goat's going to win the title. I'm betting the Mercury in a, in game two, I'm parlaying them with something on Thursday night. I'm going to do another, another cross sport parlay. Very excited about it. I love it. All right. I'll jump on with you. What excited about it. I love it.

All right. I'll jump on with you. What are you doing here? All right. Do baseball. Yeah. Let's pick a baseball game that you don't have a rooting interest in. Is that line out? It's not out yet, is it?

I don't think it's out yet. I don't think it's out. And then this Dodgers-Giants thing. There's so much to gamble on. And I know what you're like because you have college football. We had Fury Wilder. We have baseball playoffs. We had football. There's four games Monday

and the Monday night game. There were four games Friday baseball games. It's spectacular. It just doesn't happen. Preseason basketball? Is this the most... What is your gambling volume right now? Yeah, this is the thing. So when I talk to the AAO guys, I'm like, hey, we got to do preseason hockey and we have to do futures for basketball. And I know you I'm like, hey, we got to do preseason hockey and we have to do futures

for basketball. And I know you guys covered it. You don't have to do preseason hockey. No, I know. I know those guys want to do it, but you're on your own there. But yeah, I mean, I'm doing 30 minutes of research on Zion 27 to one for most improved player

until you talk me out of it. He broke his foot. Please don't do that. What do you mean? He'll be fine. How long is he out? Well, they said he's supposedly ready for opening night. Yeah. That made me nervous. I don't like it.

Oh, come on. So me and Hassan Rossello are taping like a three-part over-unders on Tuesday. There's a couple I'm really excited about. I have five teams. I'm not going to say them now. There's five teams I'm very focused on for this.

But there's some good ones. I mean, to me, the Nets are a complete stay away. No, they're an under. You cannot bet on their over-under with this stay away. No, they're an under. You cannot bet on their over-under with this Kyrie. No, they're an under. That's a ridiculously high over. Was it 56 and a half? I think it's better for them.

The farther away he is from that team, the better. If I had confirmation that he was gone, I'd bet them to win 65 games. We don't have to see them play at all. We know their plan. They're going to rest guys. They're going to switch guys in and out. Kyrie's going to not be able to play some games and we'll be able to play

others. Like why, why would you think that they were, uh, you know, what is Cameron Thomas going to take over games where everyone else is sitting? I don't think so.

I pay no attention to the preseason. All right, let's do a, let's do parent corner. So you want to kick us off? Paying attention to Zion's foot in the preseason. That you care about. No. Yeah, I don't have a big...

You know, it was homecoming for my kid. He's 16. He's a junior. He plays defensive end. My son, Archie. The whole family decides to come to this game. And homecoming is a disaster. There's thousands of people in the stands.

And it's more of a disaster when you schedule the best team in the conference on homecoming. Aren't you supposed to schedule like a cupcake? Someone you're going to beat by 35 points? That's how it was when I was young. But now we have Palace Verdes coming in and they whip us 33-0 and everyone's there. My cousin Jimmy and I have all, I mean, I have like 10 or 15 relatives there. And I tell Archie, I was like, listen, you got to come out. I don't care win or lose. You got to come out and say hi to everyone afterwards. I'm going to make them stay 10 or 15 minutes. And you get yelled at by your coaches. And then you have to go to meeting the next day at seven in the morning and watch tape and get yelled at. But between then you have to come out and say hi to everyone. And Archie comes out and he's got this smile painted on his face. And he's like,

ah, hey, thank you. Thank you. Thank you for coming. And my cousins, who are the daughters of Uncle Frank, which is why you'll appreciate this, Simmons, one of them says to him, congratulations. It was the greatest moment of the year. lost 33 nothing and there was nothing at all to get excited about for three hours and she's congratulating i guess you congratulate him on surviving right that's always a good thing congratulations for avoiding a major injury yeah yeah there's no ambulance involved but congratulations he's like ah and he just walked off he's like dad what the hell was that? I was like, I don't know what to tell you.

They're trying to be nice. No one knows what to say, but you have to come out and say hi. So what's their record, Sal? They're now two and four. They've lost like four in a row now. They were two and oh, yeah. Is Nagy going to give up the plays or no? Nagy's coming in.

He's coming. He's tapping in. That's it. House, do you have a parent corner or no? I have a, are you allowed to ask for advice on this parent corner? House has an advice question. I do. I do.

Sal, you especially, you have three boys. Simmons has a boy. My guy turned 11 this year. And he's really, it feels like he really wants to push down hard on the accelerator going from 11 to 16. So he's testing the waters on all. Can we, can I watch this movie?

What about this show? And what do you put on the table just in the last couple of weeks? And I can't believe I relented because I, I've sat with him and watched about 10 minutes of this video game. He asked me for grand theft auto five. And I said, yes. So he's playing grand theft auto. And mean i gotta tell you i wasn't prepared there's a lot of lines that get crossed in that game what i want to

ask you two guys you two veterans is like at what age did you did you consent to grand theft auto because i'm almost like what can i offer him to agree to take that off of the table now, having seen some of this stuff? Simmons' number is going to be way lower than mine. This is guessing a line. We're going to be five off from each other. Simmons will say third trimester. No, what are you going to say?

I think it's great. I'm so happy for the young lad that is playing Grand Theft Auto. I'm always like, look, I showed my kids Halloween when they were like five. I'm an envelope pusher. So they're going to find this stuff anyway. If you're a family that you babysit the kid at all with the iPad or the phone or whatever, they're probably going to gravitate.

I would rather know what terrible thing they're doing versus not know. Grand Theft Auto, it's fun. It's fine. You drive around. I think I let my son play it right around the same age. Yeah, you drive around. Maybe hit some pedestrians.

Shoot the authorities. You might fight with the cops every once in a while but yeah curse at people people curse at you the thing you have to monitor is ladies is is stuff from the game seeping into his actual everyday personality i mean fortunately no that we don't encounter a lot of things in real life where there's a translation there. Like if you're driving down the street and your son's like, hey, dad, veer into that guy on the sidewalk. He's not.

Yeah. Fortunately, there aren't any hookers on the street. Well, that's what I was going to say. Maybe he could wait a year before he sees a prostitute get kicked in the jaw during a botched drug deal or something, because there's a lot of that stuff. I was lucky because my kids just like all the sports games. So they were mad in this, mad in that. They didn't have to worry about that.

But I don't know. It really, really all comes down to what their friends are doing, right? That's all. That's all it is. You can only hold off for so long if their three best friends are playing it. Yeah, that's the thing. Once it becomes an arms race with the friends, there's always one other family or two other families

that push the envelope. And then they just go over to that kid's house and they play the game over there. And you lose either way. You might as well have them have the game. So my guy's an only child. And really what sowed the seeds is he's pals this school year with another kid

who's also an only child who plays it with his father like his father plays it and allowed to sit now what we've ended up in is he downloaded it my guy he's playing it and he tells me daddy go upstairs they're about to put on a cut scene i don't want you to watch this i don't want you to sit here with me because the things that are going to happen in this scene are not for you, daddy. Dismiss me. Send me upstairs.

Daddy took his Brussels sprouts and went right upstairs. That was it. Nothing to do with it. I vote yes. All right. Mine is, man, there's almost two levels of parent corner now. The ones I wish I could say and then the ones that I think are safe for public consumption. But,

uh, my son, so my son goes to the same school that my daughter goes to. My daughter never won a banner at this school. And it was like, our, her class was like, they had a couple of really good athletes.

It just never happened. They made the finals in basketball three straight years. So now he's in this flag football team, which they haven't won in flag football in a couple of years, this school, but they, they're undefeated through four games. And it really seems like this is going to be the year.

My son's having a great year. He's playing tight end. He's playing linebacker. And he's really starting to feel himself leading to the other day. And I'll put this on my Instagram so people can see it. They run the Gronk play with him, like where he basically comes off the line and just runs like the button hook out.

Quarterback bomb. Tips it to himself. It's like a jump ball. Tips it to himself. Catches it. Runs for a touchdown. As he's crossing the goal line, does the Deion Sanders dirty bird over the thing and gets the 15 yard

celebration. Oh no, there's Taunton calling flag football. First one, I think in the history of his school, the first Taunton good sports. And it, and it was this great play that,

you know, just would have been this awesome play. That would have been like the play of the game. And then the coach has to pull them out. The coaches are kind of like laughing because it's like, first of all, where do you pull the dirty bird from? That was like 30 years ago.

Yeah, right. What was the last dirty bird conversation you had? Is it in Madden? Do they do it in Madden? Yeah, I think it must be in Madden. It's in Grand Theft Auto, I think. That's where the cut scenes. So yeah, so my son got his first taunting celebration penalty oh man were you watching

did you see it were you there for it oh i was there i was i was uh right in the middle of it and then the parents were kind of like oh that's kind of cool like they're supportive yeah everyone just gets through the end zone like he wasn't doing it crossing the goal line he wasn't doing it to sean jackson He didn't turn around, backpedal, and start cranking up the D on that. Put that on Instagram. I'm going to put it on Instagram and people can decide.

Make it a vote. If it was or not. They have a chance to get the banner. More updates to come on Parent Corner. Sal, what do you got to plug? What do I have against all odds? We have extra points coming up. Yeah, we'll have

an NBA preview. We'll go over the Monday night game tomorrow and I'm going for 11 in a row Thursday night on Fox. Probably taking Tampa over Philly, right? I don't know what would have to happen. Got to. So if you get this 11, do you think they cut in on the local news? What happens?

Is it like a car chase? They cut in? I break news. Sal is 11 in a row. What do you think Jimmy the Greek, his record was? Listen. It was terrible. He was bad.

Was he good at picks? I don't think he was. I think people should make a little bit more of a bigger. I'm making way too big a deal of it, but meet me a third of the way. I'm with you. Eleven or more. We lit up million-dollar picks last playoffs

and won so much money and hit basically every pick, and I was upset. I felt like there should have been more of a parade, but that's the thing. Yeah, but million-dollar picks is obnoxious, just by the nature of it. It's very, very obnoxious. I'm a classy dude.

I go about it the right way. You should have got somebody to buy the ringer. Right. My next move. Did you win or lose money on Fury Wilder? He came on my pod. I should have listened to him. He said he's going to win in four to six rounds. So I went heavy on four to six rounds and he

should have, there could have been 11 knockdowns in four to six rounds, but my God, I mean, I don't know where we ranked that. There's some prettier heavyweight fights that we've seen, but that was pretty spectacular. That was a great, great fight. And I don't know if I'm just saying that because no Paul's were involved or what, but I felt like boxing, like that's why we love boxing, that fight right there. Anything could happen at any time. If you were following the live lines, you know, like Wilder was like three to one favorite after he knocked Fury down. Then Fury was like a 12 to one favorite. And then that kept up throughout. But I loved it. I don't know where you rank Fury in the ann, in the, in the annals of history,

but, um, he's, he's phenomenal to watch. Lots of fun. The thing is when you're six foot nine to 80. Yeah. It on TV versus when you're actually standing next to somebody who's that

size, it's, it's kind of like incredible. You know, like I remember when I did TV with magic for a year and he's six, nine. And you would just constantly be like god damn that guy's way taller

and bigger than everybody else and Jalen was same thing Jalen was 6'8 and a half and it's just to think of like trying to box somebody like that especially like he's got that sneaky style it's all these short you know it's constant these short little crosses and I

don't know I think he would be a bitch to fight. I don't know. Like if you compare him to people we grew up watching and stuff like that, like what would Mike Tyson do against him? Like he's a foot taller than Mike Tyson. Yeah. Yeah.

Easily. Right. Yeah. Tyson, they claim to be five. I was thinking like Larry Holmes, right? He beat everyone. And when, you know, he's like Fury could beat him for sure. I don't know if". I was thinking like Larry Holmes, right? He beat everyone. Fury could beat him for sure.

I don't know if he'd have the longevity of Holmes fighting these guys over and over and over. But I think that's comparable. He's right in. And I always considered Holmes in the top 10, like on the 8'9", right in there, I think. It would seem like the way to fight him would be to stay away from him, get distance, jab, move, and just kind of use his clumsiness

against him. But if you're putting him against another puncher, it's pretty good. I somehow thought Fury was going to win and somehow lost money in the fight. Wait, who'd you bet? What'd you do? I had the under. I thought it was going to be... I just didn't think Wilder was going to last.

All of a sudden, he's in the 11th round. Those guys are throwing bombs. I don't know how they did last. Wilder, I felt so bad. I don't remember feeling as bad for a fighter as I did Wilder. Just kept answering the bell. Tough one. All right, House. House is like in a half coma now.

What time is it East Coast time? Probably 2.30, give or take, whatever. Fairway rolling this week. There is a golf season. Yeah, you and Nate are going to take it in rolling this week. There is a golf season. Yeah. You and Nate are going to take it in person. I think we have a special guest. I think we have a PGA Tour professional coming on this week.

Oh, nice. Yeah, a little something with that. And then, of course, the Friday Gambling Show. Yeah. We'll try and give out another winning four-leg Moneyline Parlay this week because two big favorites, two medium favorites, but we hit it. Plus 333. That's hit it. Plus three 33. That's a W.

Simmons is right. It's going to come crumbling down, right? We just can't be all in on it. These money lines. It's going to be teaser nightmare week. This could be home dog week. There were a lot of home dogs. Watch out for that too.

Give me one more. Good job by you. Good job by you, buddy. This podcast was produced by Kyle Creighton, who is keeping his fingers crossed that we did this correctly with Sal on a Zoom and House Land in the same spot. And New Rewatchable is coming. Sal, we did Cobra.

Oh, nice. Me and Kyle Brandt did Cobra. Broke that one down. That's coming Monday night. And then check out the Prestige TV podcast as well. Did the season finale of Heels. That's up now. And then we have a successful one coming later this week.

Thanks for listening. We'll see you in this feed on Tuesday. I don't have. Feel the air Sweating On the wayside I'm a person Never lost it I don't have To ever