The Bill Simmons Podcast - Teetering Tua, Delightful Danny Dimes, Zombie Brady, Washed Russ, and a Confusing Week 17 Ahead With Cousin Sal

Episode Date: December 26, 2022

The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss the Buccaneers' ugly win over the Cardinals, Cowboys-Eagles, Bill and Sal's "Super Bowl Circle", Tua Tagovailoa's 3 interception performance in the Dolphins' loss to the Packers, Patriots-Bengals, Raiders-Steelers, Giants-Vikings, and more (2:08). Then they guess the lines for NFL Week 17 (48:50), before closing the show with Parent Corner (1:38:04). Host: Bill Simmons Guest: Cousin Sal Producer: Kyle Crichton Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey, did you know Dave Chang has a podcast with us? Did you know Larry Wilmore has a podcast with us? Did you know Bakari Sellers has a podcast with us? What about Matt Bellany? What about Derek Thompson? Yeah, you can find all of them on the Ringer Podcast Network. It's the Bill Simmons Podcast presented by FanDuel. Football is in full action.

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This episode is brought to you by Prime Video. You know me, I can't go a day without sports. I really can't. And now Monday nights are all about hockey. That's right. There's a new exclusive home for streaming Monday night NHL hockey. And it's on Prime. All season long, watch Prime Monday night hockey deliver unreal plays, the biggest goals,

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I know it's a little bit of a holiday heading into New Year's week, but this podcast is going to be going on Tuesday and on Thursday. New rewatchables coming on Monday night, last one of the year. One of the biggest movies we've done in 2022. It is a Tom Cruise movie. That is your hint. Tom Cruise, who I think has been in more rewatchables than any other movie star. I don't know. Somebody's got to do advanced been in more rewatchables than any other movie star. I don't know. Somebody's got to do advanced metrics for the rewatchables. I think Cruise is the leader.

I'm going to say he's the leader. And Tony Scott is probably the director we've done the most. Those would be my guesses. But who knows? We don't have a Bill James for the rewatchables. But I think Tom Cruise is definitely, he's got to be the leader. Anyway, it is a big Tom Cruise movie.

It is coming on Monday night, coming up on this podcast. I know it's Christmas. I hope you had a great one. Hope you had a good holiday. Hope everybody stayed safe on the East Coast. I know the weather was a little dicey in the Midwest and a couple other parts of the United States of America. It was beautiful here. It was 75 degrees today in LA on Christmas.

Can you believe that? Anyway, I watched a lot of football. So did Cousin Sal. And we are going to spend our Christmas night, instead of with our families or watching Nugget Sons, we're going to spend it with you, talking about week 16 NFL. But first our friends from Pearl Jam.

All right. We're taping this. It is 9 o'clock Pacific time. It's actually after Christmas, so we're not taping a podcast on Christmas. Sal, look at us. These guys, just these old guys, they just know what they're doing. They just get it. Matt Prater with that double doink. That is a Christmas miracle. And you and I, Simmons,

being up here is another miracle. I don't know how we pull it off. Just the know-how. They don't care. Their families are pissed off about them doing a podcast. They don't care. They don't care, Mike. We had to sit through one of the worst games I think I've ever watched

that went into overtime. One of the rare times where I didn't even bet on the game. I'm just like, I hope this doesn't go to overtime. I just hope it mercifully ends. Almost every night game is like that, right? I feel like Al has bailed out of a few terrible, terrible games that somehow become close at the end. And we kind of knew, you and I, if we were to pick a score, we're like,

Brady's going to pull this out by three, right? We should have bet overtime. That would have been a good bet. It was 16-6, and it's like, ah, this has gone to overtime. Who are we kidding? The announcers, they feel this obligation to make it seem like something good's going on.

Oh, they gave Brady too much time. It's like, Brady's been awful in this game. It's embarrassing. We were talking about if they lose this game, do we do the Tom Brady football funeral as the lead for the podcast? Now they're somehow alive. I would have rather watched Carolina in the playoffs.

I don't think that's a hot take, right? This is his Bucs team? Yeah, I won't say would have. You might get your wish. I mean, one thing's for sure. Every team, every quarterback, no matter how bad, can stay with Brady and the

Bucs, right? McSorley did it. Who else? They barely beat Dalton. They barely beat Geno Smith. They lose to Jacoby Brissett. I'm looking at this now. They barely get by Mariota. They lose to Trubisky. They have trouble with everyone, so Sam Darnold next week could have his way with them for sure.

Yeah, Sam Darnold is somehow the third best quarterback they've played this whole season. They stink. And over and over again, they just suck for three quarters. They kind of hang around. Then they go into the offense that seems to be the only offense that they should actually be doing, which is that quick pass. The corners play way off the receivers,

and Brady just throws seven yard outs. And they're like, Tom Brady, look at the know-how. It's like, yeah, this is... Every shooting defense does this. I actually thought Cliff Kingsbury coached the end of the fourth quarter in OT like he had dinner reservations at 9.30.

So you got to get out of here. Just give me outs. Didn't ice the kicker. Didn't do anything. Didn't ice the struggling kicker. Lots of weird stuff going on. Yeah, you can't praise Brady, announce crew, and then be like, all right, well, okay, the defense now for Arizona is five in the box. Pass wide. Oh, well, now they have six in the box.

Well, this is something I've never seen before. It's like, yeah, because he won't throw 13 yards downfield. Like everything's in the flat to four net or white or something like that. And then finally he turns it on. JJ, what? Oh, my God. He's just 33 years old. How's he doing this?

I think I've just watched too much football since Thursday night. We had Thursday night. We had the Trevor Lawrence, Zach Wilson game where Zach Wilson, I think the single worst quarterback performance that we've probably seen all year. And these poor Jets fans, it's pouring rain. They're just miserable. He can't even throw a seven-yard pass. His confidence shattered.

So you have that. I don't know if he's a single worst. Is he the single worst Wilson? Can they do a bet boost for a single worst Wilson quarterback? Who else do you have? Russell, Mark Wilson, Mark Wilson in the eighties.

Yeah. I guess there's a Wilson Phillips. Yeah. I don't know. But just out of those two every week, it's a toss up. Yeah. It was pretty bad.

Poor Russell today. All right. Biggest story. I mean, just to put a bow in that Tampa thing, they're playing Carolina next week if Tampa had lost that game Carolina

could have won the NFC South potentially next week or at least knock Tampa out of it and then had to deal with the Saints so now it's going to be super confusing but at least that's going to be a big playoff game the big big big big story I think from the weekend was that crazy Cowboys-Eagles game.

And your guy, Dak Prescott, he's had a lot of questions about. Starts that game with a little screen pass right to an Eagles lineman. Very bad. Not great. Pick six. It's like, this isn't good. The third and third, he felt like a moment. Now, I don't know what to make of it, right?

The Eagles, they lost a couple of their defenders. They got Minshew out there instead of Hurts. They're a little bit different. They don't totally need the game. Dallas really needs the game. Philly doesn't totally need the game. But the third and 30 was a moment. I still have no idea how they let T.Y. Hilton.

Maybe they didn't know T.Y. Hilton was on the Cowboys is the only thing I could guess. But from that moment on, and now it's like you got a little momentum. You're only two back. The Eagles now have to win one of these little momentum. You're only two back. The Eagles now have to win one of these next two. You can run it out.

I don't know. You got to be feeling good, right? I was feeling good. By the way, one of the worst picks you'll see all year with the pick six. But then he completed 14 in a row, Dak. And it's so weird. I feel like you got to get him moving in the pocket. And I can tell you with 100% certainty if his pass is going to be on the money, if he's moving in the pocket.

But yeah, that third and 30 was huge. TY earned his money there. Yeah. And they pulled out a win. What's his money, $10 an hour? I think that's what it is. Jerry pays minimum. Jerry definitely pays more than minimum wage.

You got a nice little Christmas bonus. But yeah, I think, couple weeks, shitty games. Cowboys 98 yards against the Texans to win was a big thing, even though it's the Texans. And a third and 30 completion, that'll do nice things for a team's morale. So we're still going to be a 5C. We're probably still going to play this dumpy Tampa Bay team and lose. But between now and then, at least they make it a little bit exciting.

I know you were a big Minshew guy. You had money all over the place on Gardner Minshew. I did. I hit the tees with Philly. I missed the straight up. It was one of the most inexplicable covers of the year, right? Philly's getting five and a half when we took them on million dollar picks and went down to four and a half over the weekend.

They never punt the whole game. They get a pick six touchdown. So if I just told you those two things, Philly's never going to punt and Philly's going to get a pick six touchdown. Are they going to cover four and a half? You'd be like, oh, of course they did. And then I'm like, well, what if I told you they're up 10 in the fourth quarter? Are they going to cover the four and a half? You're like, oh, of course they did. Somehow they don't. And it has this great moment where it looks like Dallas is going to go for it up three with two minutes left. It was like one of the great stealth

gambling moments there. Are they going to go for it on fourth and two? If they don't get it, Philly stops them. They get the cover. Then I don't care what happens. And then McCarthy did the rope-a-dope. Oh, we're just trying to get you to jump off and field goal. They're up six. But then I really thought Minshew was going to come down.

I thought Minshew, think of all the crap quarterbacks we watch. He's at least better than the bottom 10, right? I don't think he's a top 15 quarterback, but he's better than Zach Wilson, Darnold, McSorley, all those type of guys we had. Russell Wilson. He's okay. He definitely had, I mean, I those type of guys. We had Russell Wilson. He's okay. He definitely had, I mean, I think they had like nine third down conversions. It was driving me nuts.

And like two for two on fourth at one point. So he was, it was on the money for some of the passes. You know, that typical backup quarterback thing where five passes could have been intercepted. But I think in general, it's kind of weird. I do this too. Like we're very harsh on the existing middle-class quarterbacks like Cousins and Dak and lenient on the

backup quarterbacks that come in like Gardner Minshew, Mike White, all these clipboard Jesuses. Who was clipboard Jesus? Was it Whitehurst? Was it Charlie Whitehurst? Yeah, Charlie Whitehurst. Knocked me out of the top five of the Super Contest in 2010.

I've never forgiven him. That's right. Yeah. But we're okay with them. We love all these guys that come up. They're clipboard. We've actually elevated them to Jesus status. So it's weird how we do that, isn't it?

Well, I think part of it is, I think it's so hard to just come into a season when you've just been watching. And now all of a sudden, the speed, the pressure, the fans. So I do think we graded on a curve. But Minshew sailed, I'm going to say, five passes that either the guy had to make an incredible catch or the guy was almost paralyzed trying to make the catch or it easily could have been intercepted. But he's still better than a lot of guys we thought.

Well, let me ask you. I'm sorry to interrupt, but what does this do to Jalen Hurts? I think you and I this time last week were like, now's the time to jump on Jalen Hurts for MVP. Well, we did. We literally did. And then we did, and then it was like plus 350 when we knew

he was going to miss a week or two or the rest of the regular season. And then it's like, wait a minute. Now's maybe the time to do it, right what what more do we have to see what if this eagles team struggles so um the odds makers answered that question for us because my homes is now minus 550 so they saw yeah i guess i guess he kept it close enough to make it so that hurts doesn't deserve it i don't know it's such such a weird thing going forward, but I guess you can't miss three games either. Yeah, it feels like the ship sailed. So Philly, like a meaningless choke, but yet not nothing either, right?

They only had one loss all season. They were kind of steamrolling everybody. They had a lot of confidence. It felt like they were getting better as the season went along. You definitely tagged them. It wasn't like a 10-8 round, but they definitely went back to their corner and they had a cut above their eye and they threw some Vaseline on it. I think it was one of those. And a couple guys got banged up too. I feel like... So I made my Super Bowl. I've been doing my Super Bowl

circle every week. I still don't have Dallas in the Super Bowl circle. I still think it's Philly, San Francisco, Buffalo, KC, Cincy. And then Minnesota is kind of half on the circle because they might get a two seed, right? And then it might be two seed. Then round one, they're playing Detroit or Seattle or Washington, whatever. They could be hosting Carson Wentz. They could be hosting Jared Goff.

It's tough to think they're not even round two. And then if they're round two, they're hosting that game. You're getting very emotional. I think I have my fourth cold of the winter. So then they get to round two. They're hosting, I don't know San Francisco assuming San Francisco wins yeah so it's I don't know when you have at least two home games it's hard to say you're not in the Super Bowl circle but I again they should have fucking lost that Giants game

did you have the Giants who'd you bet on that game uh I can't remember now oh I had the Giants plus the points that was it but yeah it's funny i was on a different text chain with people you know talking about and they had exactly the same super bowl circle as you basically those five teams and then they're like that's crazy that's only five teams i could probably win it i'm like well a last year at this time we didn't have the bangles in our super bowl circle right And B, isn't compared to other sports, five about right? Like, again, I know I keep up bringing the NBA up

and you hate it, but no, at this point in the NBA season, you'd be like, there's only probably five teams that can win. Baseball too. There's probably a few more typically in football, but I think I don't think it's atypical this year. Some of these seven seeds don't look as dangerous. Like, all of a sudden, all right, Miami, I'd play Miami. I don't care. And atypical this year. Some of these seven seeds don't look as dangerous.

All of a sudden, all right, Miami. I'd play Miami. I don't care. And Baltimore and some of these other five, six, seven seeds, not as bad. But I think your circle's correct. We usually have seven at this point. And then it gets to eight by the playoffs. I mean, every season's different, but right now, we only have five teams that have better than 10-1 odds to win the title.

The Buffalo, Kansas City, Philly, San Francisco, and Cincinnati is 8-1, at least on FanDuel. Dallas is 11-1. Then it drops to Minnesota, 19-1. On Thursday's pod, we were talking, me and Schrager and John Jastrzemski talking about could there be a this year's Bengals? Who is it? Who is outside the circle that can pop in? We kind of landed on Miami.

And then Miami now is like a cross off to me. I've just never taken them seriously again this year. After that Tua performance, I can't possibly want to bet on him in a playoff game. I lost money on him today. It was San Francisco Miami Parlay. They're up 20-10. They have the ball with two minutes left at midfield. All of a sudden,

fumble. It's 20-13 and I'm like, I should bet against this at halftime. I know where this is going. Two of three fourth quarter interceptions. I don't trust him anymore. That's not an aberration. Do you trust him? He had six picks in that game.

No, I commented that like now there's like 13 teams I want to bet against. Really, you're going to have to like commit me into Gamblers Anonymous like January 9th or whatever after that week 18 because there's too many teams I'm going to love to bet against in the first week in the wildcard round.

And you know, Miami now is one of them. I don't even know what I'm looking at with Tua. He'll have like five completions for 200 yards in the first quarter. It's like, wow. All right. That's pretty impressive. And then it's like, all he's doing is the run pass option. So he's basically freezing the linebacker and just throwing terrible passes. He's got a clear pocket and just throwing just garbage, just junk overthrowing guys. And, uh, yeah, I don't trust them. I thought, all right, I'll give them a pass with the 49ers. That's one of two really, really good defenses right now.

But it doesn't seem to be the case. I don't put the Packers up there. And I've seen enough out of Tua now to say, this is going to be a coin flip game, no matter who he's involved in. Those three picks were all horrible and completely his fault. Just completely his fault. They're terrible passes. He also had a couple other during the game that I

really felt like he could have had five in this game. The thing that's crazy, so yesterday everything goes Green Bay's way, like everything. It's like when they show that list and it's like, if these 17 teams lose, they're back in it. It was like one of those and every team lost that they needed to lose.

So, and I'm debating in the morning, do I, do I just take the plus three and a half and get out of my Niners Dolphins thing? This is what I did on Monday night with the Rams and I lost. I did that. I'm going to hedge it. And then, so I, I'd end up not hedging. The Packers didn't even play that well. No, I don't think so.

Like I was looking at their stats. So they ran 65 plays. They had 301 yards. The 65 plays for 301 yards. They got four turnovers from Miami. They only had 17 first downs and 4.6 yards per play, which is bad. And it really felt like a little kitchen sinky for them, right? Every fourth down, they're going for it. They're like, fuck it. We're going for it. Because they didn't totally trust their defense against Miami. And they kind of stole the game.

I'm not criticizing them. They did what they have to do. I just don't think they're very good. And Miami just gave them the game. That game was done. 2010, just get a field goal. Go 23-10 at halftime. It's a wrap. There's no way you're losing.

Yeah. I didn't get it. Defensively, they stepped it up today, and I guess they could have a couple of those games. They have some ballers on that side. But yeah, offensively, I'm not that impressed. First of all, they don't know what they're doing with Aaron Jones. They've not figured out that Aaron Jones,

that whole thing with Dylan and Jones. He's not great when that pocket crumbles even a little bit. Aaron Rodgers goes down. I feel like he forces the ball to your boy Watson a lot. I mean, he's fast as shit, but the guy's not open some of the times he's throwing to him and he's still getting mad and yelling at these receivers

every third play. So I don't trust that offense. Oh, I don't. We're really going to have to study these matchups because we're going to have like six teams playing each other who I don't trust that offense. Oh, I don't. We're really going to have to study these matchups because we're going to have like six teams playing each other who we don't trust in the first round. I feel like I've watched so much football, not only over my life, but this season. Like I really, I haven't missed a week this season.

And I'm like, I'm levitating at a higher level. Like I'm watching the last two minutes, right? The Packers tie. And it's like, oh, they're definitely going to put Tyreek Hill out for this kick return. They have to, right? Because the Packers, they're going to kick it short to make the clock run because it was right before a two-minute warning. Tyreek's got to be out there.

You put Tyreek out there, Green Bay almost has to call a timeout to decide what to do. Are we going to kick off to him? Should we just kick it out of bounds? What do we do now? Who do they put back? Mostert, who just does this run right into the line and falls down on the 22. But that's like,

to me, that's where you can get some of these teams like Miami with coaches like McDaniel, who have never been in games like that. And it's like, you know what, dude, you don't want to go eight and seven.

There's too many teams, one game behind you. You got the Pats coming. The Pats are due for some sort of weird win at some point. Put Tyreek back there and try to fucking finish this game. And they just didn't. Put Tyreek and Waddle. Put them both back there.

Seriously. It's one play. Why not? It's not like they don't know how to catch a punt. But remember the Chiefs, Andy Reid would do with the Tyreek every once in a while. It was like the most terrifying thing you could see in a football game. It's like, oh my God, Tyreek goes back.

It's like if he makes one guy miss, he's gone for 80 yards. It's like putting a lion on ice to fight a penguin. Like, wait a minute. This doesn't belong. Yeah, you're right. Shame on us, though, and everybody who thought they could challenge the Bills. What are they, like four games behind the Bills now for the AFC East?

Remember, we were like, well, we can get the Dolphins a plus 180, and they already have the win on it. Like, oh, what are we doing? I know. And they sucked me in because I like the way they played in that Buffalo game. I led the podcast on Thursday about maybe the Dolphins. That was a good loss for them. It was like, and this was a way worse loss. Let's take a break and then we'll cover some more of the storylines.

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So we have up in the air still the AFC North, the AFC South, the NFC East, and the NFC South. First of all, congrats to the Cowboys hanging in. The 13-2 team somehow hasn't clinched their division yet. Nice job by you. The sixth and seventh spots are wide open. Basically, you have Jacksonville and Tennessee at 7-8, 7-8. You got Tampa Bay at 7-8 and Carolina and New Orleans at 6-9. They're all playing each other.

That's going to resolve each other over the next two weeks. The weird thing to me about this week was nobody wanted the seventh seed. We had the Jets, Patriots, Vegas, Detroit, Seattle, Washington, the Giants, Atlanta, and Tennessee all lost. Not their destiny in their hands but a real chance to kind of get in the mix like if the Pats beat the Bengals

they're in a tie with Miami this week and it's like if we beat Miami we're in the playoffs they fucked that up and the only teams that kind of came through

other than if you want to count Carolina but Pittsburgh was the only one that was you know their lives were on the line basically

and they they turned it around there on Franco night, which is really cool. And Green Bay for the NFC. And Green Bay for the NFC. Yeah, and that was really, and I guess you could say Tampa, but Tampa could have lost this game and still taken care of business next week. Stupid

team. Yeah, that Pittsburgh, I called that wrong. Did you have the Raiders? No, I had the Steelers. I was in on Franco night, and I liked the two and a half. That might have been Carr's last game. I mean, there's a chance they just bench him next week. He threw three picks in the second half. He's been really erratic all year.

I know he has. And I'm trying to gauge what the emotion of Franco does for the players. And then I think it's just so cold. I think it was the coldest game in two decades kickoff at Actors Street whatever the three whatever it is so you don't think you're thinking about Franco like 40 minutes into the game 40 minutes

as soon as the wind hits your face you're like who died what I don't care it's like alright well yeah you know what we'll punt 32 times in your honor and then Carl throw an interception. That'll be the game. there was a crazy stat with them. It was their fifth seven or more halftime lead that they've blown. They're up at halftime by seven plus points.

And it was an NFL record. So congrats to them. Great job. Pittsburgh has their seven and eight somehow with just this Trubisky, I think he probably was involved in what, five of the games? A guy that we never thought would start an NFL game again.

So they have at Baltimore next week say flex to Sunday night. Flex to Sunday, yeah. This is great. At least three guys knocked out in this game. And then Cleveland who is just dead man walking in week 18, and they can get

to 9-8. They did this last year where we said, Pittsburgh, they can't. Come on. They're not sneaking in. But now they could literally sneak in, especially if Miami can continue to fuck up. Pittsburgh being in the playoffs, what were the odds

on that five weeks ago? Like, at least 12-1, right? You could... Their over-under was like five and a half a few weeks ago. Yeah. Their updated over-under. I was like,

oh, I might go under there. It's like, now they're going to hit their regular over-under, which was seven and a half. Right. Possibly make the playoffs. What a season for them, though. Because you could have told me

there's a version of this season where they have the second worst record in the league. Mm-hmm. Yeah, they didn't blow anyone out, per se. So it's not like some of their wins could have been losses, for sure. But they definitely had some on the schedule that they want back, right? So I'm trying to see who they lose to that was close. They lost to the Dolphins 16-10.

They had a tough one in Baltimore. Yeah, they beat the Bengals, but they lost a close one to the Bengals. Yeah, Baltimore is right. I'm trying to think. The Jets beat them in a dumb game 24-20. Your Patriots, that was close, right? 17-14. Not really.

Trubisky, that was like a no way Tr-trubisky-lose-to-Belichick game. So there's four 7-8 teams left. The funniest would be if Tennessee and Jacksonville somehow got in the playoffs when they're both 7-8. But that's actually in play. The Pats are playing...

Will they play each other, though? Week 18? You're right. You're right. Yeah. You're right. That, I think, I don't know when you want to talk about it. Well, but that is definitely, sadly, and embarrassing for the league, that that's going to be the Sunday night game, week 18. It has to be, right?

No, we have some other possibilities. No. Go ahead. No, we have. I'll cross them all off. Go ahead. No, there's a much better one. Cincinnati-Baltimore.

Yeah, but they don't like putting a team that's already in there. If it's just for the division, they won't care. They want a game where both teams lose and go home. They are not fucking putting Malik Willis on Sunday night as the flex game. That is never happening. He's like a fullback. Can he throw a pass 10 yards? So they're going to put Huntley on next week.

I don't know. It's Huntley or Lamar. I have some other options for you. Lamar's going to sit week 18. They don't need that game. But who else? Tennessee Jackson, you mentioned. Washington, Dallas.

It's another one. Dallas is in. I'm telling you, they like when... Yeah, Dallas is a five seed. You're right. They'd be worried. Okay. Green Bay-Detroit?

What if that's their seventh seed? That's the one they want. They need Green Bay to keep winning so that that matters. All right. So let's look at the schedule then. So that means Green Bay has to beat Minnesota. I'm just trying to figure out how they'll rig it. Because, listen, after what we saw them do

in the Washington Giants game I'm willing to I'm willing to think that this is like Vince McMahon territory now Washington 7-7-1 they play Cleveland next week at home feels like a pretty easy spot for them but they're also in this weird Carson Wentz

Heineke got Rivera going I don't know Carson looked pretty good it It's great. Definitely start the guy that the team has not rallied around. Green Bay. Well, let's remember this real quick as you brought that up. The league needs Green Bay as that seven seed, right? And in order for that to happen, Washington has to lose

one of their next two. The Giants, either that or the Giants would have to lose both. And I don't think that's going to happen. So the better path is Washington. Green Bay wins out. Washington loses one of their next two. And for them to reset the Sunday game night for it to matter against Detroit next week,

Washington, look for that to be screwy somehow. That's the key point. It can't be Washington loses one of the next two. They need Washington to lose to Cleveland. They need Green Bay to beat Minnesota. They need Detroit to beat Chicago, which is probably going to happen. Exactly.

Then you have 8-8 Green Bay against 8-8 Detroit. Winner gets the seventh seed. Washington's out. We're basically thinking the Hebner twins are going to Washington to do the Browns commanders game. I can't wait to guess the line for that.

I might actually adjust my guess. I might have to change too now. Yep. So, a couple other storylines. We had Buffalo win their third straight NFC East. It's weird. The Pats won like 20 straight. Maybe they missed one in there.

And now Buffalo, it's just like Brady leaves and Buffalo just gets it. Now Buffalo's going to win 20 straight AFCs. They're good. They're one of a few teams who are playing defense, right? So I'd put San Francisco up there, top. And I think the Bills are not right there with San Francisco, but at three of the last four

weeks, they've allowed 13 or fewer. They're going to be tough. Josh Allen has not had to be specifically, especially sharp in these games to win. Yeah, you're right. Who else is playing defense right now? I had it written down.

Cincinnati, I would have put in that list, but I didn't love how they played in the second half. They're starting to get banged up. They're already missing their best corner. Who was the guy? One of their best D-line, Hubbard, was out. I just had somebody who was playing the defense. I can't now remember. It's not a long list. No. I don't know.

Your team, I think. Your team has a defensive touchdown every week you have eight defensive touchdowns or something yeah we played in that game that was another storyline there was about an hour there where it looked like it was the darkest

Patriots week going back to the lateral play on Sunday since Brady tore his ACL where it was the darkest Patriots week going back to the lateral play on Sunday since Brady tore his ACL. Where it was like, we lose the dumbest game of all time. And then we are just going to get absolutely humiliated at home on Christmas Eve against this Bengals team. And it was 22-0.

It felt like it was going to be 40-3. And then just this weird pick six. All of a sudden we get a touchdown. Bengals team and it was 22-0. It felt like it was going to be 40-3. And then just this weird pick six. All of a sudden, we get a touchdown. Then Mack has this Hail Mary to some guy I didn't even know was on the team, 88, that's tipped. All of a sudden, we're in the game. And even more probably,

it seemed like they were going to cover. And then Nick Folk misses the PAT, which was one of the biggest gambling moments of the year. Yeah, you went from you had no business covering to you had no business not covering, right? So you had two shots at it. 22-18, you missed the extra point.

And then you get it back. You're about to score and Stevenson fumbles, right? Was that the sequence? You should have covered one of those two ways. And now Mac Jones is a heel. He's thrown illegal blocks. Your fan base doesn't like him anyway. I had a weird premonition that Jerry Edmund,

you know who that is at this point, right? Yeah. That's the fan who got yelled at by that terrible woman in Vegas. And then Kraft has him sit in his box. He could be the new quarterback of the Patriots. What if that, what kind of trading places moment would that be if Jerry Edmond, the fan who has screamed that,

is all of a sudden taking snaps, gets you to the playoffs? I love that guy. That was weirdly the highlight of the Patriots season was that guy against that psychotic Raiders fan who somehow her name hasn't come out yet. Yeah. Let me tell you this.

If I told you on Thursday, the Bengals are going to score 22 points. The Patriots are going to score three touchdowns. The line is three. Yeah. What would you have bet? I would have bet the Patriots and I did bet the Patriots. So,

and then, it's like they never kicked a PAT or had a PAT. They scored 18 points on three touchdowns. It probably hasn't happened ever. But then again, I'm like, Trent Irwin scored twice on you. I was like, maybe we don't deserve to win this game. It's the Patriots plus three and a half bet. But for God's sakes, make the extra points.

I know they missed one or two too, right? McPherson? Yeah, well, somehow it's 22-12. Well, yeah, McPherson missed automatic Justin Tucker 2.0. It was a disaster. I think he missed two PATs and then he missed a field goal that would have made it 25-12.

And I was in that mode where I had the Bengals plus 3.5 in a tease and I had them for million dollar picks but also like the Pats have reached that what's the point part of the season where it's like we might be better off being seven and ten and getting like the eighth pick in the draft

this team's doing nothing they're not winning playoff games we suck so I was in that mind mindset and as they're coming back I'm like is this good do we want this to happen? Or do I want to go 7-10 and get the eighth pick in the draft? We'll get some awesome nose tackle or some crazy receiver. They suck you back in.

A lot of fan bases are like this. The Raiders fan base went through the same thing. And then they had to give up on the team. Yeah. Well, Cincy, that was a tough one because they lost Collins to a red tackle. Their offensive line

had actually been pretty good. And by the way, when he went out, their blocking was the same after that. They have Buffalo and Baltimore left on their schedule. And

as much as I like them, it doesn't seem like they can put two halves together. It seems like they can play one awesome half, but not two, which I think at some point is going to burn them in the playoffs. The irony of the Bengals season would be

if McPherson cost them the playoffs this year after he fucking carried them in the last one. He's the reason they made it this year. You're going in the playoffs now with him. Do I trust this guy? Because he's been really shaky this year. It's a little bit of that

with the Ravens and Justin Tucker. It really comes out to this. Does Tucker have it today? It's like, oh, I don't know. Block kick? All right, we're not going to do it or it's going to be just like a 14-8 type game. It doesn't matter who we're playing.

Well, that fucking team. How many times can they play like shit and somehow win? And you're like, how'd they win? I watched that whole game. And get flexed on shit and somehow win? And you're like, how'd they win? I watched that whole game. And get flexed on Sunday night. And the way you're talking, like they might get flexed the week 18 Sunday night. If we get the two Saturday nights.

Yeah. Another, another that there's two that fucking teams to share. The Ravens and the Vikings. Yeah. The Vikings, they get a 61 yard field goal to win it from a guy who, if you bet on them, you never think he's going to make the kick. If your money's on the Vikings, you just assume he's going to miss it, blow it, you're nervous with every PAT,

but he's somehow gained confidence this year. They give up 445 yards to the fucking Giants, whose receivers seem like they drop, what, every third catch? They'll just drop over the middle. They have the worst receivers you've ever seen in your life. They get two turnovers, both which were like dumb Giants, like just protect the ball. They're running for like 30-yard plays.

They get stripped from behind. They get a blocked punt in the fourth quarter. And they still almost win. Minnesota, it's a tie game with two minutes left. Minnesota has to come down. And that's where Jefferson's like the best guy to have in the entire league.

Guy just gets open. Two minutes left. He's getting open for a 20-yarder and he's getting out of bounds or he's getting over the... Whatever he needs to do, he's getting open and they're getting in the ball.

But we know they're the team this year. That is the team that is going to go 13-4, 14-3. They're going to win the ball. But we know they're the team this year. That is the team that's going to go 13-4, 14-3. They're going to be favored in round one or round two and it's going to be like two and a half. And they're going to be begging you to take them and you're not going to feel good about it. And I fucking hate it already.

Well, and now because there are so many teams like we talked about, right? These playoff teams that are just going to like, oh boy, I can't wait to put money on them. Like Miami now enters the picture this year. The Vikings might be upper echelon when we're talking all here. They graduated.

No, no. All right, fine. 11 wins by one score. 11 out of 12 wins. Like, all right. No, no, you're not the full of shit team. You're great. And you do have Jefferson.

Jefferson's the best player on the field. Most times, it doesn't matter who's uh lining up against you and i wish we could live bet cousins the next three throws that he's going to complete after one that 100 should have been picked like how many of those are right like he he really like he doesn't throw like five bad passes in a row he throws the really bad one that should have been a pick six, and then he marches down the field. It's a weird thing that goes on with that team. He's had a, I don't know how many times this year, he's thrown a pick six or a big pick that has somehow been reversed

when they look at it. Like, oh, the ball touched the ground, or oh, his foot was on the out-of-bounds line. I might go the other way with Minnesota. They've done this so many times now. I almost feel like they've elevated this so many times now I almost feel like they've elevated above the full of shit

status like I had the Giants in that game and it was like Minnesota field goal was fine because the Giants

were going to cover because I think it was four and a half but I was nervous I was like Minnesota's definitely going to come down and Jefferson's definitely

going to make a play I hope they don't give up the 80 yarder to him they did not I guess the other storylines up the 80 yarder to him. They did not. I guess the other storylines from the weekend, Detroit fell flat in a big, big way. Carolina, this is the problem with the league this year with a couple of these teams like Carolina, Atlanta,

these teams that can run the ball. If they get up seven, they're really hard to play against, right? They look like, you know, they're like a 1975 Super Bowl champ if they're up 10, nothing. Well, you said it the other way, right? They look like they're like a 1975 Super Bowl champ if they're up 10-0. Well, you said it the other way, right? Last week you said, I don't like them being down

7-0, right? Because that's what it was to the Steelers. They ran all over the Seahawks, right? The Steelers, they had 21 yards rushing against the Steelers, and then another 320 with this tandem of Hubbard and Foreman, which is, I don't even,

who was the other tandem, the Panthers tandem in the early 2000, 2009, who was it? D'Angelo Williams and, fantasy-wise, you really couldn't draft either one of them. What the fuck was that other guy's name? D'Angelo Williams? I'm going to have to look this up now.

Was it Jonathan Stewart? Was it Jon Stewart? Jonathan Stewart. It was before he became a talk show host. I'm getting to have to look this up now. Was it Jonathan Stewart? Was it Jon Stewart? Jonathan Stewart. It was before he became a talk show host. I'm getting fantasy flashbacks. Yeah, there you go. Similar thing this year. I wanted to do... Fandle has that bet where you bet the team to win the first half of the game.

And the odds were always really good. And I think people were hitting it because the odds were terrible this week. Because the Panthers won. It was like not even to have them win first half of the game. It wasn't even like that much of an advantage. So I think that was a gambling inefficiency that has been shut down.

Oh, let's leave with this before we do Guess the Lines. I think we should just update this the last three weeks of the season. Worst trade, Russell Wilson or Deshaun Watson. What do you have? Just make odds right now.

What's the worst trade? If you're what fan base is more bummed out by that trade, by their trade. So that's how we're judging worse. The face that's more bummed out. Well, the, the pick they gave up, the picks,

they gave up the contract and then bummed out fan base. Cause the Wilson trades worse from a talent, but the Watson thing, you get all the baggage of Watson. I don't think either of these guys are taking their team anywhere. So in that respect, in that regard, it's the same. Talent-wise, I think he gave up more for Wilson. And also, it's just this weird stuff on the sidelines. No, they gave up more for Watson. Really? I got to look at that again. No, no, no. They gave up more for Watson.

Yeah. Really? I gotta look at that again. No, it was three firsts for Watson. It wasn't three for Wilson. But then how many Wilson has? I know a fan, a couple other people like that. Yeah, I guess it was. Watson's worse. Watson's eclipsed 165 once in four games.

And he thinks he's the shit, too. So, I don't know. I think that's going to be a bad situation that the Browns are going to take a half decade to recover from. He hasn't... I've watched most of the Browns these last four games

because I've had money, I think, in every one of their games. He doesn't... I mean, he looks like the Sean Kaiser. I haven't seen anything from him that makes me think he's has a chance to be an elite quarterback. So, but at least with him,

you could say, well, he's in his mid twenties. He didn't play football for a year and a half full training camp next year. Yeah. You know, the, the Wilson thing,

he just, he looks like he's completely shot. I saw Alex Sherman on Twitter today. He asked, I think it was him. He tweeted like, he looks like one of those wrestlers who just looks shot. I saw Alex Sherman on Twitter today. I think it was him. He tweeted like he looks like one of those wrestlers who just looks shot when you see the wrestler who used to be great who now it's like, oh man,

this is what Jake the Snake Roberts looks like now. Oh God, this guy was jumping off the top rope three years ago. What happened? When Andre would whip the guy off the rope and he had to get his big boot up, the timing was almost like he couldn't get his leg up by the time the guy bounced back off. Right, yeah, towards the end of his career.

Or like Undertaker near the end where it's like, oh man, he could barely pick these guys up. This is really rough. Well, one way to answer your question would be like, which situation would Sean Payton want, right? Or prefer? Sean Payton has like nine decisions I think he can make. I think any one of nine

teams will take him. And what's weird about like four of the bottom nine teams don't have a first round pick. So if you're Sean Payton, do you want to go to Cleveland? Or do you want to go to Denver? Or would you want to go to Denver? Or would you want to go with Kyler?

Can the answer be neither? Yeah, I guess it would be neither. Definitely don't want to coach Arizona. Yeah. Although he might be able to bring his GM there if he wants. That's the only difference with Arizona. Indianapolis, Houston. I don't know.

I want to do a quick Sean Peyton thing, but let's take a break and we'll do champagne and guest lines. This episode is brought to you by Movember. The mustache is back with a vengeance. Look at Travis Kelsey. Before he rocked that Super Bowl ring, he rocked that super soup strainer. Grow a mustache for Movember.

You'll do great things too. You won't win the Super Bowl, but your fundraising will support mental health, suicide prevention, and prostate and testicular cancer research. And if you don't want to grow a mustache, you could still walk or run 60 kilometers, host an event,

or set your own goal and mow your own way. Do great things this November. Sign up now. Just search Movember. All right, you mentioned Sean Payton. I do think it's interesting with Dallas that they're playing well enough and have shown

enough that it's kind of fucked you for the Sean Payton sweepstakes. You would almost have to, the way it goes now, have a horrible playoff loss where you'd have to lose like 35-13 and where it was just so emotionally scarring. You'd be like, alright, now we feel okay horrible playoff loss where you'd have to lose like 35 to 13 where it was just so emotionally scarring. Now we feel okay about

getting McCarthy out. The way the season's gone now, I don't think he's fireable. You guys are playing well. That Philly win was a really good win. I don't think he should be on the... We've been a million McCarthy jokes. I just don't feel like he's a fireable coach right now.

Yeah. I haven't thought about it in a while, and it's because I agree with you. And I don't think Jerry would pay him as much as some of these other teams, too. Yeah. Well, you also have to give up picks with him is the other thing.

Right. My guess is he just goes back to New Orleans, and maybe he just needed a sabbatical for a year. Maybe this is like a huge power struggle thing for him where I went away a year. Oh, look what happened to your team. I'll come back, but I need this, this, this, this, and this. But if you go somewhere else,

the team's got to trade something for him. And if I'm New Orleans, we saw this happen with Parcells a million years ago. And we saw it happen with Belichick too, where I think the Pats had to give up. For Belichick, I think we gave up a first rounder for him. So it's got to be at least a first rounder. And if you're New Orleans, you want the first rounder back

because you just gave up your first rounder in the Olave trade. Yeah. It's just not a great quarterback situation no matter what. Unless you take like Bryce Young to Houston and then you take the Houston job, right? But I think it starts with him with the quarterback. There's one good one. Who?

How do you feel about that Colts-Chargers game tomorrow? I'm going to take the Colts plus the points. I am too. I like the Colts tomorrow. I think they could actually beat the Chargers. Are you saying the Chargers? You think he goes to the Chargers or the Colts? Well, all right.

So they, like, even on Thursday's pie, we're like, oh, the Chargers. Indy, Rams, Denver. Like, what? That's what a cakewalk. Right. I think that Colts game is going to be kind of sneaky tomorrow. Sure. And then the Rams just laid it on Denver.

And actually, I don't know. They look pretty. Baker looked pretty good. The Rams look pretty good. They're playing hard. They don't have their picks. So what do they care? So I was just wondering

if there's some way for the Chargers to just completely fuck this up. And if I'm Sean Payton, that's where I want to go. I'm in LA. He's in LA, you know,

sometimes for TV anyway, but I get Herbert. Herbert's the prize. I'm just waiting until I can coach Herbert. That's what I want. And if you're the Chargers, he gives you an identity.

Oh, if you can get that deal, yes. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. There's no way. Yeah, because Denver's stuck with Russ. Arizona is stuck with Kyler. Carolina quarterback, what do you get? Houston's getting the first pick. Washington, same thing. Quarterback, Indy, same thing. Cleveland,

quarterback, no good. Yeah, all these maybe Chicago. It's really not a lot of not a lot of opportunities here no not at all yeah because i was thinking jack saville he kind of missed the window because peterson i think stays there at least a couple years now because lauren seems like he's somebody you'd want to hitch a wagon to um i kind of like him staying on fox too i mean that is like a six-man table now. It's like, because they won't fire Bradshaw or Jimmy Johnson, and those guys won't quit.

And so they just keep adding people. It's like if the Supreme Court is like, all right, we're just going to keep adding justices. Nobody wants to hang out here. So what are we going to do? If 15 people have to go. Sopranos just adds more people for Tony's crew. I didn't think Peyton was good initially when he started doing the TV.

And I was like, oh man, here we go with the guy, another coach who's not saying anything. I think he's good on TV now. I actually enjoy, I enjoy, I think he gets it. I think he understands how to sell the other guys and he's good at it. So maybe the answer is maybe he waits another year or tries to leverage the New Orleans

thing. You're right though. There really aren't killer jobs. You're just going to go to a team that doesn't have a good quarterback or doesn't have a draft pick. I think Carolina is a really good job because I think that team has talent

and I don't know. I actually think they've underachieved I think Carolina is a really good job because I think that team has talent and I don't know I just I actually think they've underachieved in that team if you play this season over again from the beginning without Baker Mayfield then whatever the guy doesn't make the 59 yard or all that stuff that's probably like a like a nine and six type team

with a lot of young talent and some cap space and an owner seems like he's willing to spend yeah but i can't see if he's going to go to carolina just go back to new orleans if you go back to new orleans you're on the quarterback yeah i guess that's it that'd be one of those south teams yeah i think that's probably right uh last thing before guess the lines the fantasy playoffs i'm now out of yeah my two regular season leagues. Are you going to get in the finals with your fucking garbage

6-8 team? That's going to happen? I'm in, buddy. By the way, we're 8-8 now. I'm in. We might be playing Jon Hamm's team with Trevor. I bring on all comers. I don't care. What did Brady get me? Nine points today? It didn't matter. I had Kittle. George Kittle.

I saw what you did in the other league. You played all Jets again and you lost. You're just not good at fantasy. It's fine. My team peaked in like week 11. It was one of those things where it's like, I don't have any of the guys that are now cresting in this last third of the season.

You don't win though. You never win. It's fine. You're good at running a website. You keep weight off. You stay fit, but you don't have to be good win it's fine you're good at running a website you like you know you keep weight off you stay fit but you know you don't have to be good at everything you're not good at fantasy I'm going to I feel like I'm good at fantasy I look at my team

and I don't understand what happened I just kind of ran out of running backs it really hurts my feelings though it is funny like these guys like fucking James Connorner tonight. He's just kind of floating around. I don't even know how many weeks you would have started James Conner this season.

He wasn't getting the ball at all. Jesus, you scored 63 points? That was your playoff number? Wow. It's ridiculous. The one thing that's changed with fantasy is you kind of really want Allen or Mahomes. Like in the old days, it was quarterbacks,

patch that together and get these other guys. And now it's, guess who you want in like week 15, 16, 17? You want Josh Allen or Pat Mahomes. And I wonder how that's going to affect the auction stuff going forward. Yeah. Oh, that's right. We have the super flex thing, right? Where we need two quarterbacks.

Oh, we're doing that next year. Yeah. I'm in trouble with that. All right. Guess the lines. I can't believe you're going to fucking make it six and eight. I don't know. You're fourth in a five team division.

And now you're going to vote. You're going to win. You're going to vote me out. I was just going to say, you better watch your tone. It's so funny for the podcast. I voted you out. You're getting very lippy. Very lippy about how terrible my team is. I'd watch your tone. It's so funny for the podcast. I voted you out. You're getting very lippy. Very lippy about how terrible my team is.

I'd watch your tone if I were you. I don't know. Lippy. We've been hanging out. Davos check too much. Lippy. I know you get upset about this. All right.

You're eight. Just remember. You are good. I'll add to you. You're good at guess the lines. I'll add that to the list. Just remember what? If you vote me out, the league is less fun.

You've just made your life in the league less fun. All right. Week 17. So we did have a big flex. Yeah. And we have a decent Thursday night game that involves your team, the Dallas Cowboys at Tennessee. Help me out.

You caught another break. Yeah, we definitely did because it doesn't mean anything to them. It doesn't mean anything to Tennessee or Jacksonville this week. Right? It's really weird where you have the Titans and Jaguars. Basically, it doesn't matter what happens. No, I think it means something to the Jaguars. I don't think so.

No, I think it does because- because they win and then lose to Tennessee. They're out. Right? Yeah, but they still. But Tennessee could lose and Jacksonville wins. Yeah. And then I'm already confused. Yeah.

I think you're right. It doesn't mean anything. It's only week 18 for them. Yeah. Well, I don't know how he did it but you get to play Malik Willis on a Thursday night and I don't know if you've seen him play quarterback I'm sure he's a nice guy I know he's a rookie I'm happy for him and the fact that he got to make the professional football league

and he made some money and I'm sure his family's proud of him he's a terrible quarterback I don't know if he's going He's a terrible quarterback. Well, yeah. I don't know if he's going to be a good quarterback five years from now, but I can tell you this year he's a bad quarterback. He was taking, what, 70 picks after he was projected? And that seems to be too early. Well, the other thing is I'm going to win my Titans bet.

I had the Titans under nine wins. They were seven and two. I had that. That was wins. They were seven and two. I had that, I had, that was one of my best futures where when they were seven and two, what, if I had tried to sell that ticket, wow.

Yeah. What I've gotten like 10% of, of what I, what I shelled out for it. Right. So they're not, they're seven and two. They're not going to hit their over.

And then you guys, you need the game. They better lose this week. Yeah. You need the game, right? You can't punt that. You were on the terrible two-teal teams for a while between the Jaguars and the Panthers. You should just ride that the rest of the way.

Well, the Jaguars, they lost one of their best defensive guys last week. Lawrence is definitely playing better. They lost Robinson. They lost the offensive lineman. He had a busted up ankle. They lost their offensive lineman. They didn't score a ton of points against the Jets.

The Jets were just so miserable. We didn't talk about it. Well, they caught a huge break, right? If healthy Mike White's in that game, we really know, all right, are the Jags good or not? But then it's Zach Wilson. It's like, all right, any team in the good or not? But then it's Zach Wilson. It's like, all right, any team in the league could beat the Jets

if Zach Wilson is going to play like this. They have no chance. So crazy we're saying that. You're not wrong, but it's nuts that way. He was undisputed second best in draft time. He's completely shit the bed. I was deep diving quarterbacks, like the worst ones ever, because anytime somebody's bad,

the tendency, especially in the Twitter is just like, he's the worst quarterback ever. And I was going back and looking at, uh, some of the stats. Yeah. Yeah.

Jamarcus was bad, but not, I'm definitely bad. Not as bad as I remember it. I mean, the irony is it's your guy, Ryan leaf that I think statistically was the worst, but, uh, Kaiser Soze that I think statistically was the worst.

But Kaiser Soze was really bad that 2017 season. It's pretty legendary. I felt like he screwed us on a bet or two. We probably lost a bet. There was one guy, it's funny, you go on Pro Football Reference and you could look up the worst interception percentage. There was one guy in 1950 who had four touchdowns and 21 interceptions.

Wow. So that's got to be up there. Vinny Testaverde was 13 touchdowns, 35 interceptions on Tampa in 1987. That's got to be in the running. So my point is, Zach Wilson, there's company. There's company for the bad seasons.

Good for Zach. There you go. Do you know any Jets fans who are like, I'm still kind of in on Zach Wilson. He's lost his confidence. Is this salvageable? No, that is one thing. You do? Who is it? I'm not

going to name him, but I know one person. Just protect his safety. But yeah, it's because, I mean, his confidence is gone. You tell me off air and then I'll tweet it. Thursday night,

Cowboys and Titans. I have Cowboys. God damn it. I didn't know if the game meant anything to them, so I threw in the Vegas zone. Cowboys 5.5 I said 7.5 it's 10 not giving Tennessee a chance

that game could be cold Dak could be not very sharp Henry could bust two runs how is it 10? in our ZFL and our P league, the great John Oaks, I think he made this up in the 80s. He called it the Oaks game where you look at the matchup

and you go, how many points is that team going to score? Right. And it's like, oh, that minus 10 seems high. But then you go, oh, wait, how many points are the Titans going to score? Right. Do the Titans get to 10 points in that game? I mean, Derrick Henry could still... He broke a 50-yard run, right?

So... And then he was like three yards a carry. Yeah, then there was nothing. I mean, there was like nine man fronts against him. I do think... I think Willis is going to

have to turn it over. I knew Minshew was going to turn it over once or twice. Yeah. Whether it was Fonborda. I definitely think Willis is in the same boat. It's going to be two or three.

Would you rather have Willis or Tannehill on crutches? He's on one crutch taking the snap, but he can still throw. Does he get to use the crutch to bat the ball in the air to a receiver? To keep the defenders away. I don't know. It's a tough one. Your Sunday marquee game. I'm not saying this is because

these are the two best teams or anything like that. I just think this is the most interesting of all the games. Patriots home for the Dolphins. Sure. First of all, it's a loser leaves town for the Pats. I think this Tua thing is the most interesting story

for week 17. He was so bad in week 16, and now you have this Pats defense that now that Uche's going, man, we can rush to pass it. We can get after it. It's the one thing they can do. And I just think, I want to see what Tua does in this game. What if it's freezing cold? What if it's, you know, 12 degrees? The Pats are probably alive. I want to see it.

Bill, you know, Tua's going to have trouble with that Patriots pass rush. Their pass rush. I will donate $1,000 to Chris Collins, whatever cause he wants. I'll write a check to him. I'll give him three attempts to say the word pass rush. Correct. I can't laugh because I'd screw up more names.

Nah, I'd screw up enough names. I know. About $1,000, you'd figure it out, right? Pass rush. So if you had... I'll give you two options. Two is fine. He throws 350 yards, three TDs. The Pats

drop two picks and the Dolphins win by 10. Or two is a disaster again. Four interceptions. The Pats win by 15. And now it's complete panic mode with Tua. You only have those two doors. What do you think happens? B. I think I go B. I'm sure it's probably panic mode with Tua. You only have those two doors.

What do you think happens? B. I think I go B. I'm sure it's probably somewhere in the middle. How did Chase do against you guys? I know it was the Bruce Irvin thing. We joked about it, but you kind of keep everybody's bet.

That's the one Patriots thing. You kind of keep everyone's best. Jefferson killed us. Jefferson did. He kills everyone, though. He's going to set the record. Well, we're down on cornerbacks, though. We're missing two starters in the Bengals game. Right.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't think it'd be as bad, but he's good for a couple picks, too. Score some points. How many points are you going to score? That's the whole thing. I can't tell you. This is the most annoying Patriot season since

the 90s, since the Bledsoe Carroll era. Fucking Kendrick Bourne, who's our best receiver. We knew it heading into the year. If you asked 100 Patriots fans, all 100 would have said Kendrick Bourne's our best receiver. Something happens with him and Patricia in training camp and he gets buried, right? And it's like, well, this is weird.

He's playing like 10 snaps. So finally, I don't know what happened in the Bengals game, but it's like, well, this is weird. He's playing like 10 snaps. And so finally, I don't know what happened in the Bengals game, but they, they're like, fuck it. They start playing Kendrick Bourne and guess who's open for the last two hours of the game. Kendrick Bourne. It's like doing everything. Yeah. And you're just like, we're, this is exactly the guy we need. We, none of our receivers could get open. This guy's open. Why did this take 15 weeks? This is the worst coach Patriots team since the Carroll era. It really is. It's just

abomination. So bad. You're not getting rid of him. He's not going anywhere. I'm telling you. Not Kendrick Bourne. Pelichick. Yep. I still think he might be a good coach. He just wants to be surrounded by a bunch of yes-men and people he's related to. It's's like, go out like that. Now we talked about, uh, when I was with Wickersham

on Tuesday's pod talked about, I had heard some Bill O'Brien stuff and then it started to get reported this weekend, Bill O'Brien might come back. And it's like, cool. That's somebody who's an actual coach who, who, you know, he wasn't a great GM, but he was pretty successful as a Texans coach. He wasn't bad, but at least be a qualified coach on a coaching staff. Yeah, I agree. And it's also, by the way, he was bad for the most part as a coach, but as a head coach, but I think that's what Belichick

needs. He won like 10 games once. Yeah, but it's like, all right, you know, you've proven you can't make it on that level. Come back to me. Come back. Like McDaniels. Yeah. I had you know you're you've proven you can't make it on that level come come back to me you know yeah i had no idea what i think you're gonna beat me with this week i didn't really was struggling this week this is this was their week 18 ish type lines here because you don't know who's playing but good i had the patriots as a pick them against the dolphinsphins. I get this. I had Miami by one. It's Miami by two and a half.

Okay. I honestly did not know what that line was going to be. That's a stay away. Like a six point swing for me. You could have told me Pat's two and a half. I would have believed you. That's such a stay away. They really, in a lot of ways, don't deserve to be favored.

The Dolphins. But a Patriots score 17 and you're in this. The Pats are terrible. Wow. That is like a fucking stay away game. Yeah. On the road, favored? Really bad.

And Patriots have more rest. Yeah. I got three watchables for you, Sal. Eagles-Saints. It's the first one. It's in Philly. I don't know how we come up with a line on this

because we have no idea if Hurts is going to play. My guess is he's not going to play. I'm not going to give you any clues because it's unfair. Well, I already wrote down Eagles by six. That's exactly what I had. All right, that's good. Eagles by four is the number right now.

So that's a Minshew number then? It's a Minshew number. They do kind of have to win if Dallas wins Thursday, right? But the Saints are in it too. I know you're mad at the Saints. A lot of people had this complaint about Dennis Allen. In a game they ended up winning. I bet on them. I had them in underdog parlay,

so I was rooting for them. And I just, fundamentally, I didn't understand the Andy Dalton thing. I thought it was one of the weirdest things. I would have thought they were throwing the game for the first-round pick, but they don't have the first-round pick. So there was no answer for it. Yeah, if there was

ever a time to do the Taysom Hill thing back there where everybody's taking direct snaps anyway, they were direct snapping to Kamara anyway. Why was Andy Dalton in at all? How are you going to complete a pass at four degrees? The Saints are...

I don't know. It's a pretty physical team. I think they'll match up. Okay. With the Eagles. And you know, I'll be interested to see how the Eagles come out of that game, whether that was a fluke or whether that was, you know,

whether it's a little cut or whether that was like a big gash with the Vaseline in it. Well, what do we hear about? What do we hear about Lane Johnson? I mean, that's huge. You got a guy who hasn't given up a sack in a decade.

And, uh, I'm exaggerating a little there. But is he? Let's see. Is he out? He'll be questionable all week, right? MRI, groin, abdomen. Yeah. All right.

So we'll find out tomorrow. Next watchable. I have this. This is certainly not going to be a watchable football game. But I think because of the stakes, it has to be in there. It's Bucks-Panthers. It's in Tampa Bay. I'm going to bet the Panthers.

I'm telling you right now. It's in Tampa. I have the Bucks by three, and I think it's wishful thinking by me because I really want to bet the Panthers by plus three. What is it? I said three and a half. It's five and a half. Oh my God.

And it was seven. Kyle, stop the podcast. I need to it was seven. Kyle, stop the podcast. I need to bet this now. Kyle, pause the podcast. Shut down the TikTok camera. We should have bet it an hour ago. Well, now you make me look do the updated ones. It was seven like in the fourth quarter

when I first guessed and then looked, but now it's five and a half. Oh my God. That's insanity. They should not be favored by that much. The Bucks can't... It takes them four quarters to

outscore somebody by three. Yeah. I can't look at the lines yet. I'm going to have to wait until after we finish the pod. I made the list of all the bad quarterbacks they've struggled with. They're not going to be up on a 14-0 lead. You look at Mike Evans.

If you have a fantasy like I do, it's a disaster whenever they look to throw him. He's barely ever looking at the ball. He's turned around. Once in a while, we're going to pass an interference call or something, but I don't even know what their weapons are anymore at Tampa Bay. Five and a half. Way too early. Yeah, Collinsworth was like, Brady, I think it was in the OT, Evans had like a 13-yard out. Yeah, finally. Collinsworth was like, oh, look at these two old veterans

just on the same page. I'm like, these guys, Evans just had balls hit him in the back of the helmet. Evans is wandering around in the runway, like not even on the field. I've never seen a more disoriented star receiver. I had him on one of my fantasy teams. He never seems like he's on the same page. Yeah.

They play good defense. I don't know. Again, the Panthers thing where they ran like crazy against Seattle and this past week, but not against Pittsburgh. If we see a 17 for 21 from the Hubbard Foreman combination, then it's going to be

dicey, but five and a half is too much. It's just the Bucs are the worst coach team. It's like how the Pats fans feel about Patricia offensively. The Bucs fans have to feel even... Because over and over again they just do nothing for three quarters.

And then as soon as they just start throwing it every day, they move the ball. But they, and Brady threw the ball 48 times today. So it's not like they're not throwing the ball, but it just seems like, all right, here comes the four net run for one yard. I just don't get it. Well, somehow I think he was like top five

and right now in passing yards. And because he does throw a ton and it's always five or six yards. He threw like 20 times in the last nine minutes of the game in OT. He probably threw it 25 times. Brady is third. He's third behind Burrow and Mahomes in passing

yards. So weird. He has six terrible passes a game now. Where you just go, oof, father time. Last watchable, I can't believe that Panthers line. Last watchable is Green Bay home from Minnesota. It does mean something for Minnesota because I think the two seed is important.

They don't want to go to San Francisco. So I think it's guns blazing for them. And then Green Bay, oh, Aaron Rodgers, you can't count him out. It's like 301 yards and four quarters. I don't know. Yeah. And by the way, how many throws did he miss? He had two bad picks.

And he had that one awesome throw to Mercedes Lewis that for some reason, McDaniel didn't realize he could challenge it. That was a pretty key challenge that they just didn't do. But yeah, these guys get older and they can still make an awesome throw, but then they'll have like six horrible ones. I think this is a classic

nobody respects the Vikings game. I have the Packers favorite. I have Packers by two. Yeah, I said two also. It's three and a half. I don't know where they get the half from. That's ridiculous. You know, you and I

love teasers, and I would not recommend the Tampa Bay on a teaser or Green Bay or any of these. I mean, because I've lost with Brady and Rodgers on teasers all year long. But even struggling to get in the playoffs, I wouldn't bet them at this point. I've been doing so well with the straight-up bets,

and I just can't help myself. I did the San Francisco-Miami parlay. It's like, ah, I cannot. And then, ugh. Parlay or teaser? Straight-up. I did a money parlay. It was basically even odds.

Niners and Miami. Yeah, right. Fairly watchables. I have six. Let's start with Giants-ers and Miami. Yeah. Right. Fairly watchables. I have six. Let's start with Giants Colts. Actually, you know what? Let's take a break and then we'll do Giants Colts. All right.

When you ride transit, please be safe. Yeah, be safe. Because what you do, others will do too. Others will do it too. So don't take shortcuts across tracks. Don't do that. In fact, just don't walk on tracks at all. Not at all.

Trains move quietly so you won't hear them coming. You won't hear them coming. See, safe riding sets an example. Yeah, an example for me. Because safety is learned. It's learned. Okay, give it up. Give what up?

Really? Really, really. This message is brought to you by Metrolinx. Alright, come back. Fairly Watchables. Giants Colts. We'll see with Nick Foles. It wouldn't shock me if Nick Foles was good against the Chargers. It would be

funny if he was the best quarterback on their team the whole season. They've started... How many guys? They started Matt Ryan. They started Ellinger. Is there a third one or is it just those two? No. Who? Andrew Luck. This year? No, I don't think he played this year. Is Andrew Luck here?

I have I think this is a Vegas zone game. Of the Giants by four and a half at home against the Colts. I got this exactly. They continue to Of the Giants by four and a half at home against the Colts. I got this exactly. They continue to disrespect the Giants.

Three is the number. Oh, man. Well, we'll see how they look tomorrow, the Colts, right? Kyle, turn the TikTok camera. Oh, it's back on. I think the Giants are pretty good.

Yeah. I think they're very well coached. I think they knowants are pretty good. Yeah. I think they're very well coached. I think they know exactly who they are. I think Daniel Jones is like, okay. I think he's pretty good. He's got the worst fucking receivers in the league and is able to move the ball and get first downs and make shit happen.

And Barkley, who looked like he was dead four weeks ago, I feel like he's dead four weeks ago, I feel like he's back too. Thibodeau has been, I think, a revelation the second half of the season. They can rush a passer. They're very aggressive. They're really well coached. That fourth and one touchdown by Barkley

that tied the... It didn't tie the game, but it put them within two and then they got the two point. I just... They're well coached. I feel like, oh, they got a two point. They're going to get this.

Dayball knows what the fuck he's doing. I would not want to play them in the playoffs. I wouldn't. Listen, they have to be well coached because just all those things you said, they have injuries left and right. The receivers are miserable. They have two guys out on the offensive line every week. Barkley's not been great, not been great.

And they've still been in all these games. I don't want to play them either. That's not one of the many, many, many teams that I'm going to bankroll and short in the playoffs. I think it's a good cold weather team. And I think Dimes... Yeah, that's the other thing. Daniel Dimes.

I think they have to resign him. I think he's good. I bet against the Giants this year. I bet on them. You bet against them, he makes me nervous. I bet against them in that Washington tie. I'm like, fuck, third and five. Dimes is going to roll out.

He's going to get this. Then when you bet on him and he has the ball, I'm thinking Dimes is going to come through. I've got to admit, I'm taking the L on Dimes because I thought we had this huge sample size of them. And you should know by year three, is this guy good or not? And to me, it was like, this guy will never be good at football. But maybe Dayball saved him.

I don't know. But I think he's a good quarterback. Yeah. And like we said, no receivers to throw to, right? They traded Tony, who maybe wasn't doing it, wasn't going to do it for the Giants anyway. So you got to keep that relationship intact, right? Between Dable and because he makes quarterbacks good. We saw what he did with Josh Allen. And the other part of it is their record is such that they would even get like the fourth or fifth best quarterback in the draft next year.

So, and it's been 50, 50, 40, 60, and the quarterbacks have been drafted in the last two or three years anyway. So, I think Daniel Jones is a smart bet to re-sign for four or five years. I'll tell you this. They could have traded two first-rounders and Jones and something else for Russell Wilson. That's a thing that easily could happen.

I think fans of that, of Deshaun Watson and the Russell Wilson deals. Seriously. And all of them wanted the real quarterback. But Richie James is a really nice story, right? I'm actually happy for him that he's catching the ball, he's in the mix. But he can't be your number one receiver. He's going to make two or three screw-ups a game. He's just not talented enough.

But he's still scrappy. He gets open. He's taking stuff off the table. He's bringing stuff to the table, whatever. I just think Dimes is pretty good. I'm impressed by him. And I think if you polled all the Giants fans in our lives and we're like, would you be upset if they re-signed Daniel Jones to a three-year extension? I think all of them would do it, right? Then spend the capital on on try to get one awesome receiver somehow yeah you know you have your pass rusher you have your coach the coach is a top four coach right are there four coaches you'd rather have than him no and you don't have to look too far

like you're right you share a stadium with the team who plays with zach wilson like they work big time on a on a solid stud quarterback with great pedigree. So, yeah. I mean, can you imagine if they took Parsons? Oh, yeah. And then him and Thibodeau on this.

Jesus Christ. That'd be dangerous. Yeah. Well, that's our Giants intermission. I think they're good. Three-point favorite over the Colts. Well, because I don't think,

I think you really have to watch the games. Like, that team is not afraid of anybody. I can't believe we just praised the Giants. Both of us hate the Giants. That's how you know the Giants are good, because we were just complimentary for three minutes.

It'd be so easy to put them in the Vikings category. Next one's Washington against the Browns. That was a tough game for Washington, because now the quarterback, whatever quarterback they had going, has now kind of been uprooted. You think it's Wentz? They haven't announced yet. Rivera's quotes

were weird after that game. I had Washington by three and a half over Cleveland, and I think we are both stamping this as the Earl Hebner. Are we going to name it the Hebner Twins game? I like it. I like it. Yeah.

I think this has had the Hebner twins for the people listening to know what that means. It was, uh, what was it? Friday night main event. It was Andre the giant Saturday night event. Yeah.

Uh, Andre the giant wrestling against Hulk Hogan for the world. The, at the time, the WDF title. And there was a ref that came out. There was some sort of a legal count. Andre won the title, right? And then the second ref came in.

And it turned out the ref was actually the evil twin. And the other ref had been sedated backstage. And he came in and there were the two twin refs. Actually twin refs. Yeah. And it was like, whoa, what's happening here? And Hogan had some classic like, what's going on? Like just eyes bulging out of his head.

But the match was rigged with the evil Hebner twin. And I think we might see the Hebner twins in this Washington Browns game. I wish you could bet on how many screwy calls there would be in a game. I know that won't be. That flies in the face. I'm trying to think what are the types of calls like like a Wentz

like a sack that's not blown dead and he ends up fumbling. Yeah. Easy roughing the passer calls that are not blown not whistled. They tell the refs, there's no forward progress for Washington.

If Wentz is in the grasp, just don't blow the whistle dead. Wait till he fumbles. If Brian Robinson breaks a tackle, shoot him in the leg. Maybe not that far. Yeah, something funky is going to happen in that game. That could be the Nick Chubb 290-yard rushing game.

Yeah, for sure. Next one, Jags-Texans. Texans, super frisky. Trying to save Lovie Smith's job and keep him awake. I have a... This is in Houston. I think this is... I put this in the Vegas zone, too. I was struggling this week.

I have Jags by five and a half. All right. I edge out here. I said five and it's four. It's a weird game because you can't make the Texans favored. They're the worst team

in the league. Although the last three weeks they've been playing like a playoff team. They could have beat the Chiefs. They should have beat the Cowboys. And then they played well last week, right?

This past, yesterday. With no Damian Pierce. That's the other weird thing. With no Damian Pierce. They should have beat the Cowboys. And then they played well last week, right? Yesterday. With no Damian Pierce. That's the other weird thing. With no Damian Pierce. They're doing this thing with Driscoll and who's the other one? Mills. It's like driving people crazy. Talk about the evil twin referees. People don't know what to do when they move these guys in and out.

But again, the Jaguars, I'm almost positive, don't need to win this game. I really think it comes down to week 18. So you have to make it in that Vegas zone, as you said. But I got it. I said five. It's four. They were impressive in that Tennessee game. I watched some of that because we had the all-time weather gift

of that game started an hour late. So all the early games ended, and then we had Jags, Texans. We only had two other games. So all of a sudden, that game became fascinating for an hour. It made me think like they should just do that with a game every week. One game a week should start at 11 PT. They used to do that, right? When we were growing up for a little bit,

Brent Musburger would be like, he would do highlights. And this game's still in the third quarter. And then a lot of them would be done. It was weird. They should 100% do that. Well, real quick with that. What was I going to say about this? You're right, the way.

And of course, I had the Titans on a teaser. And it's like, I think the league should just tell them like, hey, man, we can't have you in the playoffs. Just add a policy. Like, you lost to the very worst team. It's going to struggle to get two wins this year. We can't have you in the playoffs. Just out of policy. You lost to the very worst team. It's going to struggle to get two wins this year. You just can't. And you needed to win to win the division.

You don't have anything to wear to the Oscars? Sorry. You can't come in sweatpants. That would be a fun tiebreaker rule. So it should be like, number one tiebreaker should be head-to-head. Number two should be, I can't believe you lost to that team. Right. Where it's like, alright,

Jags-Texans, they split the series. The next tiebreaker, oh my god, the Titans lost to the Texans? They're out. The Jags have advanced. They're doing college teams. That's a terrible loss. They can't be in. They can't be in the playoffs. That's a terrible loss

should be the number two tiebreaker. Seahawks-Jets. This is officially a loser-leaves-town match. The loser is leaving town. This is three in a row you've said for the Jets.

But this one is officially officially a loser-leaves-town. And also, Zach Wilson might be leaving town, although I think you could say he's a loser, so it's redundant. Wait, who's the quarterback? We're getting Mike White for this game, right? Oh, for sure.

Yeah. It's 10 days from now, unless he has like three broken ribs. From the Thursday game? Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, you're right. It's not a punctured lung he's got to be in. The Seahawks, they guess so. Yeah, you're right. It's not a punctured lung he's got to be in. The Seahawks, they go away.

Tampa just annihilates them and gets 31st downs, and their season's never the same. And yet they've still won because they made the Russell Wilson trade. They get to watch Russell Wilson be terrible every week. They get Denver's pick, which will be, be I think no lower than four so and there's what

five quarterbacks that could go in the top ten yeah yeah and Geno Smith might win comeback player of the year anyway I don't know

but you have to move on you're right it could be Bryce Young in that team next year I think the Seahawks are favorite at home and I'm going to the Seahawks are favored at home. And I'm going to say Seahawks by one and a half. Oh, you got it exactly.

I said four and a half. I thought maybe Mike White wasn't ready, but you hit it exactly at one and a half. I mean, I think the Jets are out of it. The Seahawks must win, and that's a really tough place to play. But one and a half? A little scary.

The thing with the Jets, I actually think they're, they're, they have a lot of talent. Yeah. And the big thing for them, nobody, I didn't,

I don't think they mentioned it the entire Thursday game. If they did, I apologize, but the Brees Hall piece of the Jets season, if he doesn't get hurt, Brees Hall was the most exciting rookie of the season and was looking like he was

like a top 5 or 6 running back and if nothing happens to him to me that was like the dominoes moment but if you just reset this Jets season just started it over like a Madden season I do think there's a world where they're like 11-4, one of the resets.

They have a lot of talent. Yeah, maybe they don't allow more than 16-17 this game. Maybe that's why it's so low. I agree with you with the Dominoes moment because, you know, like Dominoes, they tasted like shit, the Jets, after they clapped. That's not fair. I like Dominoes.

Dominoes is good now. What if they tip me off Domino's? I'm being told that it's been good, but I can't refuse to believe it. Chang was the one that tipped me off on Domino's. Ben Simmons and I get Domino's like every six weeks. What? It's all with you. We love Domino's.

It's here in like 25 minutes and it's hot. Again, this is not an ad for Domino's. Kyle, destroy the TikTok camera. Throw it against the wall and then kick it and sit on it. There's no way you've had Domino's. I don't care. You have so much better pizza within a mile of where you live. I know it. I don't want to start listing.

It gets here fast. You're trying to save money? You need to save like a dollar or 50 on pizza? It's the best pizza option. You're talking to a guy who's been to Bianco Pizza seven times in the last two months. So mad at you right now. I'm voting you out. I wasn't going to kick you out. Why did Bill get voted out?

Domino's Pizza. Do you respect Chang's opinion on food? You don't respect mine, but Chang is pro-Domino's. I think he goes a little too far. Plus, I think... Joe House, pro-Domino's. He think he goes a little too far. Joe House, pro dominoes. He is? That gets me.

I'm telling you. What's part? The thin crust? The thin crust is really good. They have a whole bunch of them, but they'll make them crispy. It shows up hot. It's solid. I'm such a pizza snob. I gotta get back in the game now. I shouldn't even have promoted them that much. I don't think we've ever done a dominoob. All right, I got to get back in the game now. I shouldn't have promoted them that much.

I don't think we've ever done a domino. Yeah, no. Oh, wow. Seahawks one and a half. We did that one. All right. Chargers Rams

Battle of L.A. This was in the Sunday night slot. And then they're like, what the hell are we doing? What would you what would you say percentage McVay rejuvenates

Baker Mayfield's career? Because that's a world where Stafford retires in the offseason and Baker is the new quarterback. Yeah, what do you do with that? Because he does look like... He really did learn the playbook.

Has he been studying the playbook for like two months? He looks good. I know. This is what Baker's supposed to look like. Yeah. He's damn good and somehow Akers is really good. I know anyone who had him in fantasy got crushed by him for three months and he's made

the whole offense better. I don't know. We want to judge it by one game, but Denver had a pretty good defense. It's been a couple games now. Today. Yeah. I thought he looked okay in the Packers game too. Chargers I have by seven. You got that exactly. Really that high after all this praise we gave. It's seven. I said five

and a half. I'm going to tease the Chargers. Really? Yeah, because the Rams do not have a lot of talent. I think they won their game. Whatever. 49ers are at the Raiders. Oh, I have our Week 16 fantasy football murderer, playoff murderer.

Who is it? Is being handed out to Devontae Adams. Two catches for 15 yards. I went against him this week. Just an assassination. Yeah, that was very weird. Two for 15? That's your game?

Do or die playoff game? I have the 49ers by four and a half. I went Vegas zone. I went Vegas zone all over the place this week. Man, you're coming back. I think you're tied with me now. I said seven because I just thought Vegas loved the 49ers. They make them a touchdown favorite over everyone.

Yeah. It's five and a half. You're closer than I was. You know loved the 49ers. They make them a touchdown favorite over everyone. It's five and a half. You're closer than I was. You know what the Niners... Oh, we got to tease them. Raiders got to be done. Here's the worries about the Niners. They're kind of cruising into that three seed.

And they could... They can get the two. They could get the two. But we just mentioned the Vikings have... I guess they're in Green Bay. So, yeah. They can get the two. They can get the two. But we just mentioned the Vikings have, I guess they're in Green Bay. So yeah, the thing to do with this Niners game is if the Vikings, if they win that game, if the Vikings beat the Packers,

then you start thinking, all right, is it worth it for the Niners? Because Minnesota's last game is at Chicago. Right. So if Minnesota beats Green Bay, they're getting all right, is it worth it for the Niners? Because Minnesota's last game is at Chicago. Right. So if Minnesota beats Green Bay, they're getting the two seed. Right. And if you're the Niners, you're like, all right, this guy has a hurt hamstring, Trent Williams,

your ankle's not feeling great. You start resting, guys, I think, at that point. But that's next week, though. But for this week, they're playing. No, I'm saying that's this week. 20 minutes apart. Yeah, but the Vikings starts later than the Niners. Oh, the Vikings starts later?

I have Sunday 4-26 Eastern. Oh, there goes that theory. Well, they could scoreboard watch. Maybe bet Niners first half. They're just damn good, the Niners. Defensively. They're really good. I mean, that Fred Warner has like a dozen tackles a game.

And, you know, I love Debo, but I feel like they haven't loved Kittle. Stepping up has been phenomenal. Ayuk is a top target. Kittle. You saved Kittle's career. Yeah, baby. Well, I also paid like 25 bucks for him, I think. I definitely overpaid for him, but just for this.

But Bosa's defensive player of the year, I think, is minus 1,000 now. He's spectacular. I was going to say that to you. It feels like he kind of quietly locked that up like a week ago. Parsons had it, what, week eight? Yep. Seemed like it was Parsons. Poop fact of three games.

We'll go quick. Falcons cards. It's in Atlanta. I have the Falcons by four. I said four also. I think it's three, unless it's been updated. Well, we tie anyway. It's three. Yep.

I like the Falcons. Lions home for the Bears. I had trouble with this one because it definitely should be seven or higher, but you don't want to get too crazy with a team that gave up like 700 yards rushing and now they're going to play this Bears team that is going to run the ball. So I went seven and a

half, Lyons. Oh, good. All right. I thought you talked yourself out of it. I said seven. It's five and a half. Five and a half. Oh. Herbert's back, right? Herbert? Oh, that Herbert. Oh, the Bears Herbert. Khal? Herbert. Oh, that Herbert. Oh, the Bears Herbert. Khalil Herbert. Yeah. So I have him in Montgomery and Fields.

Like, I don't know. That game makes me nervous for the Lions. Classic Lions. Obviously must win. Yeah, they just tore the heart out of all their fans thinking they just really were never in that game against the Panthers. But yeah, we get lectured a lot.

I don't know. You don't read the mentions, but people say we tease games wrong. You got to tease the underdog up. But the Bears, what they did against the Bills was class. That is exactly. Yeah, that's why you don't do it. Exactly. Like bad teams do bad things.

And it really falls apart a lot in a small amount of time. And they ended up losing the game that they were even in by like 21 or 22. You don't tease bad teams, but a game that's teasable, in my opinion, is the Colts tomorrow night. Taking them to 10 and a half

because I think the Chargers are a little overvalued. And the Colts have hung in these games. They've played teams really well. And if anything, they've kind of shoot themselves in the foot at the end. But what do we care about?

Right. Um, last one is chiefs home for the Broncos. One of those games that in August looked like it was going to be one of the games of the year. Oh, Russell and arrowhead. And now it's like, here he is, the former WWF champion, Andre the Giant. But it's like 1991, Andre the Giant.

He can't move. He's got to be with Sabu. Right. Haku. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Haku. Meng. Sabu.

He's Haku. He can only do tag team matches. Right. It's like Russell Wilson, new tag team title. I have the Chiefs by 15 and a half. Russell goes and sends the backup, Rippon, to yell at the offensive line on his behalf. And the offensive line like swats at him.

Get the fuck away from him. The team is such a mess. You know why he did that, though? Because Wilson got sacked twice, and none of the offensive linemen came over to help him up. If you watch, if Justin Herbert gets sacked, there's three guys

there helping him up. How could that guy be quarterback? That says so much right there. Nobody's helping you out for three more years or four more years. It's going to be tough seeing him in these tag team matches. Listen, it's 13 and a half, so you get it. I said 17.

How is Denver not getting 100 to everybody? It's ridiculous. They lost by what? The Rams hung 50 on them. Yeah, and the Chiefs have something to play for, too, because the Bills are at Cincinnati Monday night. They could lose that. The Chiefs have something to play for too because the the Bills are at Cincinnati Monday night they could lose that the Chiefs could be the one seed Chiefs and Bills miraculously covered they never bolt they they're so disinterested they don't want to cover at all

and they both the Chiefs had 24 points covered this past week yeah Mahomes has figured out a way to play quarterback where it's like watching somebody play basketball like when you're in college and like the football running back comes to play pickup and he's just way better than everybody else and he can dominate but he's not really sweating that much like I feel like that's what Mahomes is doing in these games though yeah we say he's scrambling

out and he reaches for the pylon and gets it but I never I don't feel like I'm getting his he's like saving his hundred percent for whatever the big game is. Yeah, I think you're right. And somehow he's like, well, not somehow. I mean, he has great stats, but that pylon highlight is all you need, and he's like, minus

550 to win the MVP. Yeah. He'll be like, I'm just going to throw to Kelsey three straight times. I just want to see if I can do it. He's having fun within the game, but now the Chiefs stands. You say Mahomes isn't trying. I'm not saying that at all.

I'm just saying I think he's pretty bored by the regular season, and he knows there's a whole other version of the season that's coming, and he's just kind of messing around. That said, I bet it every week. Kelsey hasn't scored

in a month. It's four weeks now that he hasn't scored. Oof. So look for that this week. Look for that not happening again.

Oh, we went to, I forgot to tell you this. We went to Colorado for a few days. Oh, nice. It was legal. Oh, yeah.

So I was on the FanDuel app. It's, man, you can just start putting parlays together in like five seconds. It's scary. I was doing basketball bets. I was ordering coffee.

It was like, oh, Kawhi and the Clippers plus three. But I did hit a big four-teamer. But where you get in trouble is you start looking at the division odds and you see, oh, the Hawks division. It's like Orlando's 65-1. They're only four back. I'll put some on that. You just start

sprinkling around. It's like a craps table. I loved it. I had so much fun. It was my first experience with it. God damn it. Why don't we have it in California? Why? Let's get it going. We're not even close either. I think we got it like a year and a half or two years.

Oh my God. It's just so much easier. Oh, the in-game, right? There's no bet that doesn't look good for 10 bucks. In-game was great. Yeah. My wife wasn't a huge fan. The Sunday Night Ravens at Pittsburgh.

We have two left and we're tied 9-9. We have no idea if Lamar is playing in this game. We do have an idea that the Ravens over and over again look like shit and somehow win by three week after week after week. I'm going to say the Ravens are favored by one and a half. Oh, I get this one.

I said four. It's three and a half. I mean, it's 17-13. The final score. That's too high. I think the Steelers can absolutely beat them. You think so? Yeah. I do. That's a lot of...

That's like a win-loss record line and not like a who's watching football the last couple weeks line. Well, if you... Yeah, but if you don't... So you don't think they're even? You're not going to give the Ravens

the home field three points? I thought it was in Pittsburgh. No. Oh, big mistake by me. Wow. Wow. I screwed me. Wow. See? Wow. I screwed up. Jesus.

I'm like Mike McDaniel. I froze in the last three minutes of the game. What are you going to do? God damn it. So it's in Baltimore. That makes way more sense. Yeah, they beat them in Pittsburgh a few weeks ago. What would you have guessed if it was in Pittsburgh?

Like one somewhere. Yeah, that's what you did. I think, yeah, so then now we're talking Kenny Pickett in Baltimore on a Sunday night makes me a little more nervous. That's a fair line.

I could see it going to three, but it probably stays three and a half, right? Yeah. Pickett's worth a half point. It's going to be close in the fourth quarter, right? If you want to tease an underdog up, we don't usually tease rookie quarterbacks up,

and I just went on a rant about not teasing bad teams up, but nine and a half, ten and a half should be good. Boswell missed a couple fairly easy ones, like 40 yarders in the game yesterday. He did not like Franco, it turned out. Monday night, Bengals home. Am I getting that right? Bengals home? You got that right. For the Buffalo Bills.

You know, I really wanted to make the Bengals favorite in this game and I just couldn't get there. I had Bills by one and a half. Oh, we got it exactly both. So I take the lead. So you beat me because I fucked up that one game. Yes. Yes.

A rare mistake. Well, you're still up 8-5-4 on the year. One and a half is good. So this is for the two. This is losers against their guys next week right well the Bengals need they're still playing for their

division I mean they could end up being a five seed in my head they're so much better than the Ravens that they're two games up but I guess they're not right they're just a game it's a game difference small piece of me wonders, are you better at being the five seed than the three seed? Because you're playing on the road

in round two anyway. If you're the five, you get to play Tennessee or Jacksonville. Right. Oh, I see. I see. Yeah. That's a way easier game. If you're the three seed, you might have to play the Chargers. Right. You're not getting a bye. Either way,

you're on the road in round two. I know you always take the home game. Right. You're not getting a bye. So... Either way, you're on the road around too. I mean, I know you always take the home game. I get it. But I just would... I think they'd be

a higher favorite in the 4-5 game. Mm-hmm. Yeah, you're right. Like if they play Tennessee, they'd be like a six-point favorite in that game. I mean, look, yeah.

Anyone would have to be. Yeah. But if it's Jacksonville, they already play Jacksonville? We really need legalized gambling in California. It's crazy. I don't understand it. I'm getting upset about that.

We didn't talk about YouTube with the Sunday ticket. Is that going to be good? I worry about all the stream. I worry about everything being streaming a little bit. I get it that it'd be nice to go right to it and whatever watching from your phone will be easier but I don't know if I'm getting rid of DirecTV I was thinking about it this weekend Curtis and I did something

Thursday and I forgot the one piece about when your kids are on you know Disney Plus and it pulls your Wi-Fi away and all of a sudden your Wi-Fi could go wonky with a minute left in a fourth quarter. I also think it'll be harder

to bounce around, but it's Google. I just feel like they're more competent than DirecTV. DirecTV is one of the most incompetent places, things that have been in our lives for the last 20 years. Google has more money than God. They'll figure out a better version of what we have.

Well, but help me out. So will they have the basketball package too on YouTube TV? Potentially. But for now, it's football. That's a big difference. Like, I don't want to... No, I'm just saying,

as far as flipping around, you don't want to have to go from YouTube TV to... Then I get the hockey and I get college football and basketball. It's just too many packages. Oh, I see what you're saying. I haven't watched

Stars in 20 years, but these packages make it all worthwhile, don't they? Yeah. I'd still like having everything on the remote control flip thing. The streaming just doesn't

work as well. At least my experience has not worked as well yet. Yeah. The streaming just doesn't work as well. At least my experience has not worked as well yet. Versus just like being on Spectrum or whatever your cable system is. It's just like the recall button where it jumps. Like today I was dealing with the basketball game and the football game. And if it was streaming, would it have been as easy?

I don't know. Well, also I'll go nuts if, and you will too, if like we're on a text chain with Hench and House, and one of us is going to be 40 seconds ahead of the other. Yeah.

Right. I don't want to say too much because I want Google to give us $100 million to announce games. Oh, that's true. Oh, I see. Yeah, that's true.

I think they're going to do great. I'm really excited for you guys, Google. Call our agent, James Babydoll Dixon, if you want us announcing Sunday night games. Again, Google call our agent James baby doll. Dixon. If you want us announcing Sunday night games again, James baby doll. Dixon.

I talk to those fucking Google guys, baby. I don't know. I don't know if they're serious. He's on vacation till March. So, but yes, definitely give us a call.

Is that true? I love that. You fell for that. No,-february we we just got his daughter a wedding gift i didn't want to be communicated yeah oh that's nice he would eat i didn't i'd never heard anybody take the wedding gift thing more seriously very upset because he was already mad at our friend mike august for not going to his wedding his daughter's wedding but then he's like and if he doesn't get her a fucking wedding gift he's out i will never talk to him again he's really adamant about it he's very italian for somebody who's not italian he is he's the most italian

non-italian i've ever met he'll put a cigarette out on your eye for sure what did he get did he get you anything for Christmas? He did. Yeah, he got us some gifts. I'm not a disparaging baby dolls gifts guys. That's you and Jimmy thing. No, I like it. It's fun.

He sends the girls the same blanket every year, but it's nice. Yeah, we got the blanket. I love the blanket though. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, we live in California in Southern California.

Like 40 blankets over the years from him. All right. Let's do Parent Corner. All right. It's time for Parent Corner. Parent Corner is brought to you by James Babydoll Dixon's

blanket service. It's the warmest blankets in town if you're living in a hot weather location. Who says you wouldn't want a blanket? You know who says you want one? James Babydoll Dixon's blankets. Sal, you're up first.

It's a long walk to the mailbox and 67 degrees plus. True. Cover yourself with a blanket on the way to the mailbox. We love you, Babydoll. Well, listen, gifts just in general are very stressful, right? And Christmas. This is why I love Thanksgiving, right? It's the same as Christmas because you're going to eat all day.

And even today, it was even more similar to Thanksgiving because there were games, three games. But the gifts are just insane. My wife and I put a lot of time and thought into it. We order online. We hit the mall. We wrap. We transport the gifts to the tree overnight just in case any of our idiot kids still believes

in the big guy. And this is no different for most people. You do it. Everybody does it. It's a grind as a parent. And it's over in an instant, right? Because they're up between seven and eight in the morning and you've taken two sips of coffee and you're picking up, next thing you know, you're picking up wrapping paper and everyone opened their gifts and my little asshole harriso gets his mets jerseys some of players who aren't going to be around for the next three months uh he gets sneakers he gets a new glove he gets a new overpriced bat that he's only going to be allowed to use for like one or two tournaments a year whatever so what i just didn't want to hear it we got it for him and they get me this thing called putter ball, which is like 15 feet of putting green and you can put it in your living room. And there's like six holes on each side and you cover the holes as you play

somebody. Right. If you make the putt, you, you cover the hole and whoever has the most putts covered wins. So I go against Harris though. And I, this sounds great.

Yeah. It's pretty cool. And I, it can't be expensive. And so I went on the last shot and this is maybe where I go wrong. I do a lap around the house in celebratory fashion, and he is pissed. And this is minutes after he opened hundreds and dozens of dollars of gifts. And he marches upstairs and gets mad and doesn't come down.

And now we have people visiting, like Aunt Sally and Uncle Peter, and they have gifts for him. And my mother and my father, they have gifts for him, and he won't come down. And now we have people visiting like aunt Sally and uncle Peter, and they have gifts for him and my mother and my father, they have gifts from, and he won't come down. And I might've said something like, get the hell out of your room or all your shit is going in the street. And so that got him to leave his room. And, and so now I'm mad.

Like now, now I'm like, this has been, I'm sure whatever game I was betting love of the Miami, whatever. So of course I lost money on that. So it's a, it's a double F you to me. And so he gets that and he's like opening gifts and like with the kids like

i'm like so i'm watching because i know my my parents don't have money and like they buy in these gifts and yeah and i'm in my head i got the internal clock right like a quarterback i'm like all right i'm gonna count the four mississippi if he doesn't say thank you i'm jumping in here and he's like for three gifts in a row like for three. If he doesn't say thank you, I'm jumping in here. And he's like, for three gifts in a row, like for three different people, he didn't say anything. I'm like, hey, what do you say? What do you say? And this really became the whole afternoon became, what do you say? They should rename it from Christmas Day to what do you say day?

Because that's what I'm screaming the whole day. What do you say? And he's like, I said thank you. I'm staring at you. You didn't say anything. Don't tell me. Everyone's like, hey, calm down like he's like i said thank you like i'm staring at you you didn't say anything don't tell me like everyone's like hey calm down calm down he said thank you like so i don't know i don't even know what the moral of the story is other than i really should throw all this crap in the street but uh and that they should change it to uh what do you say day does it get you mad when the kids are like uh just ungrateful. Little shit.

How old is he now? I don't even know. He's nine next week. He has a birthday in five days. Little boys are just shits. Yeah, no kidding. That's the thing. From age zero to six, they're the dumbest people on the earth. And then from age seven to 10, they're just shits.

Yeah. And then around 10, they get good for a couple years. They do? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I have two of them. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, like 10, 11, 12, they're at least more hangoutable.

But yeah, they're little shits, age eight and age nine. Don't play them in putter ball if they're anywhere from eight to 10. I think back in the day in the 40s and 50s when they just used to whack their kids with belts and stuff,

I think they were way more grateful for their Christmas presents back then. Probably because they were terrified of their chain-smoking, drinking father at the time. Make dad mad. Exactly. My parent corner. We're in Colorado. One night, we're at

dinner. We're at one of these nice restaurants where the tables are pretty close to each other. And we're talking to, talking to my son who coincidentally has been kind of, kind of a shit lately. He's been a little moody and, and my wife was complaining about it. And I said,

you know what? I think, I think I know why, why Ben's being moody. I think he's, he's had, you know what? I think I know why Ben's being moody. I think he's having girl issues. He goes to a new school. There were some girls. And then maybe he should have settled on one and he didn't.

And then you can kind of pass the point of no return where people start wondering, well, wait, what are you trying to do? Are you trying to be genuine or are you trying to be a player? What's going on? I mean, he's 15, 14. He's trying to figure it out. He's 15. So we're talking about it.

And Ben, in this rare moment of clarity, he's like, you're right. I got to get my shit together with this. And we're like, that's great. And then the table right next to us we because because zoe says yeah you don't want a reputation as like being a hoe when you get older he's like you're right i definitely don't like i i don't i don't want to be i want to be the opposite the table next to us they're listening and they're like yeah you don't you don't want to have that reputation they just

jump into the conversation. Wow. So now Ben is fucking furious and embarrassed. And he's like, I can't believe these people are listening to this conversation. Of course, now I'm doing it on a podcast. I was just going to say, this part of it's weird now. Yeah, that part of it's weird. But now I feel like if the table next to us knew, then everybody should probably know. Didn't he make a list too? He made a list a

couple weeks ago about something he made yeah right so that's why i feel like i can talk about it so of course you know my wife my wife never turns down a chance to talk to a random stranger like this is like her calling card it's like oh you standing next to somebody in a car so she starts talking to the other table and ben's getting madder and madder. And Ben does not talk for the next like 45 minutes. And you could tell. And it was just, and I think the other table eventually realized like, oh,

maybe we shouldn't have chimed in on this sensitive family conversation, whatever. Um, the moral of the story is if you hear, if you hear a family talking from three feet away at a dinner table and it seems mildly sensitive, maybe don't come charging in

over the top rope. Yeah, I think Poor Ben. I think I'm buying Ben's doc for 23. I think he's starting to get it.

We're just like find a nice girl and date her for like six months. You're a good kid. You have a nice family. Like just go find a nice girl.

Go to the movies with her. Do stuff. Like stop trying to like impress your friends and all this stuff. Just go find a nice girl. Go to the movies with her. Do stuff. Stop trying to impress your friends and all this stuff. Just go. He made a list. I like that list, right? Right.

He knows. It's not going to take him by surprise. It's like a baseball pitcher. Just throw some innings. Get some starts in. Right, right, right. Try to throw seven innings a couple times. Yeah, an effective slider. You don't have to throw the knuckle. Yeah, 15. Learn your pitch count. All that stuff. There, right, right. Try to throw seven innings a couple times, you know? Yeah, an effective slider.

Yeah, 15. Learn your pitch count. All that stuff. There you go. Anyway. I like it. That's it for Parent Corner. Parent Corner was brought to you

by James Babydoll Dixon's blanket service for cities over 65 degrees. They all have cigarette holes in them, every blanket. Very weird. They're big cars. By the way, I had two cigarettes two weekends ago you did why i did my first like two years i i went double christmas party

cigarettes and gambling and look at you yeah i'm unraveling um i was at christmas party definitely had a lot of drinks and i also had a full base of bianco pizza yeah and he just like when you have pizza and you just have like three times as many drinks so i had a few drinks i was with my friend robin we were outdoors in somebody's house and these two ladies were sitting down having marlboro lights and we both kind of smelled it and it was like pavlov's dog it was like and we kind of looked at each other like she probably have one. Yeah. So I had two. Couldn't have felt worse. And I think that's why I don't feel good a week. Oh, no.

Well, between the Domino's pizza and the Marlboro's. I don't know. I don't know what we're too old. Yeah. Well, it did make me think that you when you're going to be in Vegas for the Kimmel Comedy Club. I'll tell you right now, January 8th and 9th, The 9th,

before the college football championship. Do that. Go right to TicketmasterofVegas.com. It's Extra Points Live. Prop-a-Palooza brought to you by Crown Royal. Yeah, you got to come out.

You're coming out for that. Well, I haven't been in Vegas. I haven't gambled in Vegas in three years. What? Because I was there for, I was there with Zoe a couple of times

for soccer stuff, but it was like wearing the mask. I was like, I'm there with Zoe a couple times for soccer stuff but it was like wearing the mask I was like I'm not playing blackjack with a fucking mask on you went with my for my 50th

was in Vegas a summer and a half ago I didn't gamble you didn't gamble? I didn't gamble never gambled that's right they made us wear the mask there too

I'm not wearing a mask I'm not playing blackjack with a mask on alright well you're good now right? yeah now I'm good I mean there's no mask I mean we there's no mask. I mean, we can go. No mask. I'm due. That's

my point. You might see me. You might see me the first week of January. I love it. I love it. Do it. All right. Our last podcast of the year. We entertained everybody on a Merry Christmas. The next time I see you, Sal, will be 2023.

I can't believe it. Yes, January 1st. Very exciting. And yeah, we got the Christmas out of the way. By the way, I got Kyle. Kyle, I got you a gift card, right? Yeah, man. I said thank you. What do you say? I'm not here, so. What do you say, Kyle? What do you say to Sal?

That's how I opened this whole thing. He did. He did. He actually emailed me. Kyle, what do you say? This was going to be a much better bit if he didn't email me like three minutes before the podcast and say, thank you, man. Kyle,

I will throw it on the street. Kyle's the son I never had. All right. This podcast was produced by Kyle Creighton. We will see you on this podcast on Tuesday. We will see Sal in 2023. Good job by you, Sal. We will see Sal in 2023. Good job by you, Sal.

Good job by you, buddy. Good job by you, buddy. On the wayside