The Bill Simmons Podcast - The 2025 NFL Free Agency Awards With Danny Heifetz, Craig Horlbeck, and Danny Kelly

Episode Date: March 11, 2025

The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Danny Heifetz, Craig Horlbeck, and Danny Kelly to discuss Aaron Rodgers, who appears to be choosing between the Steelers and the Giants, and what the Jets' and Raiders' QB additions may say about their first-round draft decisions (2:30). Then they give out the NFL free agency awards (21:55)! Host Bill Simmons Guests: Danny Heifetz, Craig Horlbeck, and Danny Kelly Producers: Kyle Crichton and Chia Hao Tat The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit www.rg-help.com to learn more about the resources and helplines available. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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in the 21st century so far. So you can check that out on my YouTube channel. All right. Coming up. We are just talking football today. I imported all three fantasy guys, Danny Kelly, Danny Hyfitz, Craig Horlbeck from our Ringer fantasy show and our Ringer draft show. Um, more so than the Ringer draft show right around now. All three of them are on and we're're gonna be breaking down our favorite things about free agency in March. I have some awards to hand out.

There's a lot of draft subplots in it too, so stay tuned, check it out. First, our friends from Pearl Jam. All right, we're recording this. It's 11 PT. I have the Ringer Fantasy Football guys here, Danny Hyphets, Danny Kelly, Craig Kohlbeck, and there's only one Domino left that would really affect this conversation. And of course it's Aaron Rodgers who maybe by the time you hear this, we'll have a team,

but he couldn't resist taking an extra two days to decide between two teams that don't really want him. It's a fight to the death between my team and Danny Hyphets' team over 41-year-old Aaron Rodgers. It's wonderful. Yeah. Who wants him less? If you guys had to pick between, Danny wants him less. OK.

I want him more. Craig actually does want him. I do. I do want him. Can you walk me through that? Why do you want Aaron Rodgers? Because he looked terrible last year. And any time he got pressured, the stats

are truly abysmal. Look as with most free agent signings you can talk yourself into it very very quickly. Every every team right now is pretty much excited. Any signing, any D lineman that some team overspends and gives 50 million dollars to, like your Patriots to Milton Williams. People get overly excited about that stuff. Rodgers is easy. We're in win now mode. He's better than any other option. We've already seen the Russell Wilson experiment. I don't want to do that again. Can Aaron Rogers throw deep balls to George Pickens and DK Metcalf? I think so.

Hi Fitz. You have, you're just shaking your head sadly. So Rogers going to the Giants and just throwing a Malik neighbors on a bad Giants team in the same stadium where he sucked last year Just sounds absolutely miserable even by Giants standards Honestly, if the Giants sign Aaron Rodgers or like after watching what just happened with the Jets It reminds me for the Giants watched Jason Garrett for 10 years and then hired Jason Garrett where I'm almost like we almost deserve it But I just I don't want this person in my life for the next year Like let's be honest, but yeah, it makes sense in the sense that, well, we're desperate. We got nothing else going on. One, when does that work? Two, honestly, imagine for a second, the Giants actually get Aaron Rodgers and

like make the wild card round the division around and win a playoff game. Yeah, nothing but all the other ways that this could go wrong with Malik neighbors wanting out and the whole thing being a mess. And I just, I just know that this is going to go terribly. And the idea that everyone's just like, oh, we'll take a chance with Aaron Rodgers because we'd get fired if it doesn't work. Like, I hate this team enough.

Why do we need to make them hate me? Why do I need to hate them even more than I already do? Danny Kelly, you don't have a dog in this race. Yeah, yeah. But you cover football for the Ringer and you're on our podcast. You must have some sort of opinion. I think it's curious that people are forgetting that Aaron Rodgers just

went into New York last year and got everyone fired. Are we forgetting are we forgetting that little detail? I think if you look at the touchdown to interception ratio and that is the only thing you look at and you don't watch the games don't watch the games don't look at their run game yep don't look at any of the other stuff outside off the field if Don't look at their run game. Yep. Don't look at any of the other stuff outside Off the field if you only look at the number of touchdowns he threw compared to his interceptions That's where you could talk yourself into Aaron Rodgers everything else You can't that's what I'm doing. I'm just looking at that touchdown interception ratio and I'm watching enigma on repeat Mainly the IOWA scat episode and I'm ready to go. Do you just want Tomlin to get fired?

Is that really what you're going for here? Well, see, I think with the Giants, if Rodgers goes to the Giants, he could do what he did to the Jets, blow it all up, everyone's fired, day ball Shayner out. I don't really think that can happen. I don't think Rodgers can take down Mike Tomlin.

I think it's a safer bet, and they are in this weird situation where it's like, the roster and the defense is kind of good enough now to make a little bit of a run. So what are we supposed to do? Get Russell Wilson or Kirk Cousins or I didn't want Justin Fields back. I think it's the only thing that makes sense. Give him a two year deal.

You have a decent team. Go for it. Maybe that's the argument for Rogers to the Giants. He's like an enema for the franchise. He just cleans everything up. It's like that colonoscopy juice you drink when you're about to get the colonoscopy. It's a cleanse. You eat the cleanse juice?

The problem is we all watch football every week. He's not Enigma, he's Enema. He was bad last year. That's his follow-up documentary. That's the second decade of documentary. He didn't want to get hit last year. It was obvious. And I just, I don't think he's a winning quarterback anymore.

Like, honestly, I'd rather not, not trying to push Joe Milton on everyone. Cause I know it's in my best interest as a Pats fan, but I would much rather just roll the dice with the young guy and hope they were good versus running back last year's Aaron Rogers and saying, well, now he's a year more removed from his horrible Achilles injury and maybe he'll be crisper this time. I just don't, I, as I've said on the pod, I think even to you guys, I think Brady has ruined everyone's ability to look at this stuff rationally because Brady's ability to play until he's 45, much like LeBron,

who is now 40 and like every day it's like LeBron now has the most offensive rebounds by a 40 year old ever. And they're just listening to stats because nobody else can play that long. I just think Brady's ruined it for everyone else I don't think it's I think the Kurt Cousins path of how this goes Is the more realistic way this should probably go? But Aaron Rodgers got what he wanted because we just spent five minutes talking about him in this podcast. He could have picked the team Yesterday. We're the problem actually. Yeah, so I have this whole gimmick I wanted to before we do that I couldn't help,

but notice how free agency seems like it might be affecting the draft. Because like, for instance, the Patriots, and we'll talk about them later, but they really loaded up on their defense. You know, they got another awesome defensive tackle to put hopefully with Barmore if he's healthy, so that removes Mason Graham from them at number four. I'm just, there's no way they take him now. of tackle to put hopefully with bar more if he's healthy. So that removes Mason Graham from them at number four. I'm just, there's no way they take him now. Um, you have the Vegas at six who traded for Gino.

You have the jets at seven who signed Justin Fields makes me wonder why either one of those teams would want should do our Sanders and the two guys I heard McShea and his, uh, his partner talk about yesterday, like, is there a scenario where Travis Hunter falls out of the top five? Is there a scenario where Sanders just falls because nobody in the top nine wants him? I guess my first question, Craig, is the fact that Fields is on the Jets and Gino's on the Vegas cross those teams off for you as a Sanders destination.

I think you can cross off the Raiders for as a Sanders destination more so than the Jets. I think Fields is a bit of a bridge quarterback that you could play for a little while. While Shador kind of gets his feet wet and gets his sea legs. I think the Raiders, DK has said this, I don't think Pete Carroll wants to get started with a new guy. I think the Raiders, DK has said this, I don't think Pete Carroll wants to get started with a new guy. I think, I mean, he was there when Geno was in Seattle. Because he's 80? Because he's, yeah, they're the same age. Geno and Pete Carroll are the same age, which he loves.

They can talk about the same things. And like, I think Pete Carroll wants to hit the ground running, get nine, eight, nine, 10 wins, and prove that the Raiders are like a legitimate organization, build an infrastructure, and attract free agency, free agents, and try to be like a legitimate organization, build an infrastructure and attract free agency and try free agents and try to be like a real team again and like completely change the culture. The Jets, I think they could still bring somebody in

while Justin Fields is kind of a floater. Hyphids, what's more realistic, the Raiders take Shider Sanders or the Raiders take Tyler Warren so they could have taken a tight end in three straight years. And it was a top pick in the NFL draft. If you had to pick one.

Well, probably Tyler Warren. And then you trade back up into the first rank at Colson Loveland from Michigan. Get four first four tight ends. No one's ever done that. So four tight end offensive impossible. Is it like a four receiver could just put all of them on the line? Yeah, just make the whole thing out of taste and hills. I don't know. No, I agree, though.

I think the Raiders, I kind of thought Chiderra was going to go to the Raiders, but now they're the Geno Smith. I don't think Chiderra would go there. Danny Kelly, I have a counter for both of their takes. Tom Brady on the record a lot with how we rush young quarterbacks, how these guys need time to stay there and learn how you want to integrate them. That's what happened to him with the Patriots. He had like a year plus where he didn't think he was going to play.

And it was so helpful to him. If there's anybody who's going to talk themselves into, we already have Gino Smith, but let's also take Sanders six and put him in the Gino Smith, Tom Brady, QB camp, it would be the Raiders. I don't think it makes sense. I can't cross them off yet though. Right. I think you're right.

I think the Tom Brady element here is what makes me feel that it's more possible. I think if it was up to Carroll completely, which I don't know exactly how the decision making is being made in that building to be honest, but if it was purely up to Carroll, I think everything we've seen on his record is let's build up the team, let's build up the franchise,

get good offensive linemen, get good weapons, and then you drop a quarterback into the system. That's exactly what he did and tried to do with Seattle. He talked about it constantly. It's like the number one job of a GM and a coach is to make life easy on the quarterback. That is the number one priority. So drafting a rookie in the first year of your regime doesn't make sense to me. But if the plan is to let him sit a year or two, you know, then it, then you can, I think you can make that argument and maybe Tom Brady loves Shudder enough to kind of step in and

overrule. Um, but I think right now it makes more sense for the Raiders to take like an offensive lineman or a defensive lineman, something to build up the trenches, you know, and get this team ready where you can drop a young quarterback in eventually like two years down the line. Well, the Patriots are screwed because at four, we're all really hoping somebody trades up to four and they can move back and take a tackle. Jets aren't going to trade up. I don't think. Raiders aren't going to trade up.

I don't think that leaves the saints who just seem like they're in hell. We'll talk about them later. High fits my best chance for the paths for either Carter or Hunter to follow the paths at four is if follow the Pats at four, is if your Giants take Sanders at three. And to this point now it is 11.13 a.m. PT. They still have not signed Aaron Rodgers, but if they don't get Aaron Rodgers,

the Sanders thing at three becomes a little more realistic, right? Definitely. I mean, to be clear, I don't think any of the quarterbacks in free agency are crossing off any of these teams for the draft, because is like 41 Genos, you know, we keep joking. He's either 34 almost 35, depending whether you like the deal or not. You know, it Justin Fields, 20 million bucks, Darnold. I don't think any of these, I mean, Darnold's the only one that I think a team wouldn't take a quarterback if they still like the guy. But I agree. I think the Giants with Chaudure, they totally could do it. They're desperate. They need a quarterback. I also think the big thing with the Chaudhuri in the draft is Dion. Dion is I mean, it's not a conspiracy theory

He's out on the record saying he's gonna do the Arch Manning thing He's gonna I always get confused arch Archie because the old one is the go one that goes by Archie But Archie Mannings just like he guided Eli to the Giants should I mean Chaudhuri Sanders is not going to Cleveland Browns Dion is not letting him go to Cleveland. Yeah, I think the teams are basically the Giants I think that I mean Chaudh Sanders is not going to Cleveland Browns. Dion's not letting him go to Cleveland. So I think the teams are basically the Giants. I think that, I mean, should there is obsessed with Tom Brady. That's the interesting part to me. Should her had an NIL deal, I believe with TB 12. Like should her mentioned Brady is podium at the combine,

like four different questions. Tom Brady came up, they've known each other for years. And so I wouldn't be shocked there. The Saints might just take a quarterback solely because they just don't have another path to replace Derek Carr if they don't, but I'm not really sure. I think Dion is like totally the X factor in this draft.

So there's a chance. So the Giants could take him at three. They could also trade back potentially because nobody else would take him. And then the Saints would be the only other one that needs him. I have no idea if the Sanders family would even want to go there.

But you know, he's not good. These quarterbacks are not good enough to go one, two, and that you guys are doing a lot of the legwork on this. Craig, is there any scenario where the quarterbacks go one, two? Because last time I checked, Cleveland doesn't need a quarterback and just traded for one that we'll talk about in the next segment. Um, why wouldn't they just take Sanders if he was good enough? I think there's always a chance that bad quarterbacks go way too soon in the draft.

This is what's wrong with the draft process. It's too long. You end up talking yourself into this stuff. You get desperate. So the first three picks in the draft all need quarterbacks. The Titans, the Browns, and the Giants. I think I'd be surprised if two quarterbacks don't go in the first three picks. Wow. What do you think, Danny Kelly? Wow. What do you think, Danny Kelly? I mean, I think, yeah, it would, the top three teams need quarterbacks. This is, you know, you traditionally see teams get a little bit desperate for the quarterback position.

I think if, if in a vacuum, you probably wouldn't put Ward and Shudder as top three picks, you know, types of guys that you would give that type of grade to, but the NFL is desperate for quarterbacks. You need to get, you need a quarterback. So I don't know if I would say I wouldn't be surprised if they go in the top three, but it, it wouldn't be shocking at the same time if they, if they both go top three. Hyphets who's the most shocking person you could see actually going in the top four of this draft.

I mean, I think Armand Membu, I don't know if that's shocking or not, but I think that the Patriots, I mean, if the Patriots are sitting there and like, let's just say. Good one. Travis Hunter and Abdul Carter are gone, then at this point, it's kind of like, you're either going defensive line, offensive line maybe, and I think the teams are gonna have really different grades in this draft.

I think that styles fits. This is a big draft. I think we're just, there's like a Rorschach test on a lot of players that think that it's kind of like, you know, a beauty's in the eye of the beholder. So I think that you're going to have a lot of different positional rankings around team to team on how they look at some of these pass rushers, the interior guys, the offensive linemen. So, I mean, a lot of teams might have very different offensive tackle stacks

and different edge rusher stacks. So I wouldn't be shocked if the Patriots just go with, I don't know, Jalen Walker, someone of the Georgia guys. We don't know which guys Mike Vrabel's gonna prefer, so it might be really surprising top five. Membo could be the fast riser guy. Yeah. Because I know, Craig, did you mention, did you measure your arm length?

Is it over 33 inches? Do you think you could block, could you block an edge rusher? Because you gotta get to 33 plus inches, apparently. Will Campbell's only at 32. He's got a chance there. How does that translate to height? I actually have kind of long arms.

I'm like a six, five wingspan. So you could probably plug me into an offensive line. I might just have to make it work. You just need to get your hands far enough out to shove the guy back. And apparently Will Campbell, that extra half inch. There's no way we could take him forward. I've said this before.

Half inch matters a lot to some people. The Pats cannot take... That's not everything, Craig. The Pats cannot take Will Campbell for it when we're not positive if he's a guard or a tackle. I've said that already. I just feel like if there's any doubt whatsoever, like at that point, just take Membo because everyone's like, he's definitely left tackle. We don't know how good he is. But I've been thinking about this a lot.

I'm on a lot of threads. I like what the Pats did, we'll talk about that later, but the one mistake you can make, I think, is when you're drafting this high, to take somebody just out of need. I have never seen that really work, right? Danny Kelly, how many drafts have you covered for us at this point?

Has the, ah, this is too high, but we really need this guy. I just don't remember that ever really working. Yeah, desperation, it just doesn't work in the draft. I think you just take a good player, take a player that you know is going, and this is what the Eagles do every year. And this is the reason we always give the Eagles good grades in these draft grades,

is that they just end up taking good players regardless of where they're needed or where their need is. They keep taking defensive linemen, even though they have one of the best D lines in the NFL they keep building on a strength build in the trenches take premium positions it just makes sense and I think in especially in a draft like this where the tackle class is really deep you could get a good tackle in the second round in theory yeah you can get a defensive tackle in the second round you don't have to take Mason Graham in the first round necessarily,

even though I think those guys are really good. I think Will Campbell's really good. I think Mason Graham's really good. I think this is exactly the type of draft where you don't have to take for need. You can just take what player you think is the best player. Craig Kuzier, I wouldn't be shocked if they went in the top four guy,

because mine is the tight end. Oh, Tyler Warren. I think Tyler Warren. Yeah, I just think, I think between four and nine, all of those guys are right around the same. If you don't need Travis Hunter, which I don't know if the paths do, cause they just spent on a quarterback. But I, yeah, I just feel like you could talk yourself into the running back or the tight end pretty easily. And you could talk yourself into Membo and you could talk yourself

into the edge rusher from Georgia. It kind of depends. I think Shamar Stewart from Texas A&M. He's another guy. Craig, who's your sleeper? I don't really know if it's a sleeper and I'm not going to pretend like I'm super dialed in on the offensive tackle situation in the draft this year. But the guy who I think could go top four maybe for a slight trade-up. I just think there's a lot of teams in the top 10 who need wide receivers. I think Tet McMillan out of Arizona is awesome and really underrated. And I think because it's a weak wide receiver class,

he's at number one, and I think people kind of... undersell him a little bit because the rest of the class is weak, so it's hard to determine how good he is. But I really think he is one of the better wide receivers we've seen in the last five years. The Pats need a wide receiver, the Jags need a wide receiver, the Raiders need a wide receiver, the Panthers need a wide receiver. All these

teams are top 10 and I think all of them could make a move to get Ted. Sometimes it worries me when there's only one really good guy at a position because by comparison to the other guys, you can almost overrate Right? It's like, I don't know, going to a bar and there's one good-looking person in the bar and like, man, that guy's so handsome. And it's like, that girl is so incredible. A Missouri 10 but an LA 5. Yeah, that's the only part that worries me with that. I do wonder with the Penn State tight end though, with everybody so worried about offensive lines. How can we block? Hey, like that guy is an old school. I can block, I can catch.

And like even for the Pats, if you just add him and it's like, this would be Drake Mays number one move, the chain guy, this guy will help us with the block. We'll figure out the left tackle. But at least we have like, I don't know if you take them at four, but you could talk me into it. All right. I think that's a huge mistake. At four, yeah. Tyler Warren is a huge mistake. That's a massive miss. No, I can. I'm prepared for anything.

It's scarcity though. It's like there's so it's such a deep tight end draft. It's similar to Ashton Gentry and running back. I think Ashton Gentry is a better running back prospect than Tyler Warren is a tight end. But the way I look at it is as the team as a Giants fan, they took Saquon Barkley number two. They could have had like Nick Chubb with the 35th pick. As you know, Saquon didn't help the Giants, did he? And I look at it as why would you want Ashton Gentry with a top 10 pick when you could get all these other running backs, maybe in the third, maybe the fourth round. There's so many available. There are so many tight ends that can help you in the third round. Whereas this is- Unless you thought this guy is awesome. That would be the thing. If you think

he's a top three guy at the position for the next 10 years, I think you have to think of it differently. You have the Brock Bowers effect too. There's so many defensive tackles and defensive ends where I'm like, you can't get those. I wouldn't do it. I'm just prepared for it. It does feel like we're obsessed with saying that a new tight end is generational every year.

It was like Kyle Pads, we had Brock Bowers. You never know if it's going to work. I think you guys should do this with your podcast. Talk about it's like a generational fantasy football podcast. Sing with the word generational is used. People just pay attention more. DK, do you buy the whole Genties on par with Bijan and Saquon for running backs in the last 12 years as that caliber of prospect?

I put him one tier below that, I think. I think he's really good. He breaks a ton of tackles. In fact, I think he broke PFF's record for broken tackles in his season last year. So he's obviously, gyroscopic balance, breaks a ton of tackles. He's really slippery.

He has some explosiveness to him. I just don't think I put him quite on the level of like the Saquon Bijon, Adrian Peterson tier, where this is a- So that's last 20 years. This is actual a generational pick. You know what I mean? I think he is one, one slight tier down and that's not a knock on him. I think he's really good, but I don't think I'm quite ready to put him in that tier. Well for the Pats, I hope it's Carter or

Hunter. And if it's not that it's a trade down. We're going to take a break and we'll be back with the generational fantasy football guys from the Ringer right after this. Wanna own part of the airline you flew with on your last vacation? Or part of the company that makes your favorite triple shot latte with extra foam? What about owning part of a company that one day could send you on a tour of outer space? Now you can.

With partial shares from TD Direct Investing, you can own part of your favorite companies. Just pick a stock and decide how much to spend on the share. It's a piece of cake. Learn more at td.com slash partial shares. TD ready for you. All right, we are gonna rip through the first couple days of free agency. I did a gimmick. It's a gimmick I used to do way back when. You guys have done it on your podcast. I didn't tell you what it was trying to just blindside you. Giving out awards, but the awards are all from the glory years of comedy as Craig Krollbeck has anointed the 2000s right up to this is the end. All of the movies from there, I'm just giving out awards. I wrote some down. Maybe you'll even come up with a couple as we're talking.

The first award is the Seth Rogen, Catherine Hagel knocked up award for, we've known each other for a week. Let's do this. That goes to the Seattle Seahawks, Danny Kelly's favorite team. They traded Gino and they traded DK Metcalf for a third and a second. And then they said, we're all in. We're ignoring the last two weeks of the season. They didn't happen. Sam Darnold, three years, 110 million. Let's do this, let's get married.

Danny Kelly, walk us. I know you did this on your pod yesterday, but walk my audience through this. What could go wrong? So here's the deal. Sam Darnold, I don't think he's as good as Geno Smith. However, he is 27 years old. He's quite a bit younger.

He's probably going to be cheaper, I think, at the end of the day. And there is this theory or scenario where he could turn out to be a longer-term solution for the Seahawks at Corbeck. Right now, this contract is actually very middling. It's a middle-class contract. They can get out of it if they really had to after a year probably, even though they- It's the Mayfield contract, right? Right, right. Basically the same thing.

They're hoping that he can turn into a long-term solution for them at the quarterback position, whereas I don't think Gino was, they don't really consider him that. I think, you know, and I said this to Hyphens yesterday, it's like teams tell you what they think of players with their actions. Seahawks clearly didn't believe Gino

was a long-term answer for them. And so they got out while they could and they get a new guy in here. I think there's also the element of putting the Pete Carroll era to rest for good. DK Metcalf, Gino Smith obviously, two guys that were really close to Pete Carroll. And now this is like fully a new era in

Seahawks football. It's certainly a new era. You're right on that. Yeah. So I would say like, I'm not super, super optimistic about it. I could see the logic or the rationale for doing it. Um, but I think with the Seahawks lack of, now they have no weapons at receiver with just JSN, just JSN getting double teams. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yes. And then if you can name the second best receiver on the Seahawks right now, like I'll give you 10 points, but it's like Jake Bobo or who I don't even know. Yeah. Um, they need like a, like a big guy who's fast. You can go deep kind of who could tilt the field.

Yeah. Where's the visor field tilter, who can kind of spread the field. Who can tilt the field. Who wears a visor. A field tilter. Who's kind of in his prime. With an initial acronym as a first name. Yeah, yeah. That's an acronym I really like, personally. Is there a possibility of Stefan Diggs

coming off another injury, just being surly about Sam Darnold being his quarterback, but you're paying him $17 million a year? Is that in play or no? Possibly. I believe him and Clint Kubiak have overlapped at one point in time. So probably not. But coming off of an injury, also the baggage that I think he would bring, I would hope

that wouldn't be their solution. I don't know, Deandre Hopkins maybe? I think he's still a free agent. Danny, cover your ears. It's bleak. It's bleak. Cover your ears for this part. Yeah don't even listen to this part. Danny, other Danny and Craig.

I kind of like Gino Smith. I thought he was running for his life the last two years. They couldn't block for him at all. He was good at the end of games. He wasn't great, but he was good. And I get that he's 34 years old, but, um, I don't know. This just feels like moving chairs around on a boat that's sinking. What was your take, Craig?

I think Kevin O'Connell is too good of a quarterback's coach where I don't think I would ever take a quarterback from the Vikings because the situation is so perfect, the offensive line, the weapons, Kevin O'Connell turned Josh Dobbs into a Hall of Famer for a month. Going to Seattle with very minimal weapons and a terrible offensive line, Bill Barnwell wrote that the Seahawks

have spent the least amount of money on their offensive line in the league right now, 2025. This sounds like a disaster. The interior offensive line is getting blown up in front of Geno Smith's face every game, and now we're expecting Sam Darnold to deal with that? I wouldn't, look. I don't think.

It's like he's on the Jets again. It's like he's a little bit. Oh no. A little bit. Sorry Danny. Hype us, what do you got? Danny, you can remove your ears now. Yeah, take your ear most off.

Hype us, what do you got? I just, I look at the Darnold thing. It reminds me of, I remember when I was a kid, there were all these like toy commercials, and they would like have these trucks and planes and they all looked so sick in the commercial. Like, oh my God, there's like dirt everywhere. And then like the toy would come and I'd open it

and be like, this isn't really as cool as it was in the commercial. And I think that's kind of how the same Darnold experience is gonna go in Seattle. I think he's probably the new version of exactly what your surroundings are. He's a reflection of the coaching and surrounding talent. The Vikings had Justin Jefferson,

who's the best receiver in the league. Jordan Addison is the first round pick. T.J. Hockinson recovered from injury, but he's a first round tight end. Kevin O'Connell, a top five play caller, quarterback guru in the NFL. And a solid offensive line, ish. Average, slightly below average,

schemated offensive line better in Minnesota. Seahawks have, they're a draft and develop team that cannot develop offensive linemen, which is kind of their whole problem. So you have one of the worst offensive lines in the league. Jackson Smith and Jigba, I feel like is gonna be like the Chris Olave for Clint Kubiak. And then again, as DK said, nobody at receiver.

So I think Sam Darnold will probably reflect how the Seahawks are just a worse version of Minnesota. Like they're not as good. And so I look at this as the money is fine. The money is actually very reasonable contract, but overall I just look at this as, I think it's a mix of you wanted to get younger Which is weird because Gino Smith's the youngest 34 year old in the NFL and Sam You're like one of those boxers that was in jail for ten years. So exactly 38, but he's the heavyweight champ now

Yeah, it's Sam. Donald's played more games last ten years than Gino has so Sam was 27, but this is his 15 So he's the oldest 27 year old so it's kind of weird But overall I just look at it as they probably got worse and there's a vision here. But the reality is this is a huge risk. And also, I just think there's a defensive coach element here of just sometimes when Gino throws so many picks, it's kind of like you want that to be on the coach's terms sometimes. And, and I just, I don't know, sometimes I wonder if they just want someone who'll just listen to what you're going to tell them to do.

On paper, on paper, getting seven years younger, getting a third round pick and seemingly going sideways at quarterback is a strategy that makes sense. But I thought, I just thought Gino was in a really hard situation last year. I was shocked to find out Gino was 34. I somehow didn't realize he was that old. And it sent me on a Gino deep dive that led me to the ESPN piece about when his teammate punched him in 2015. I read like four stories about that and I was like, how has this not been an untold episode yet?

So, quick question. What you just said though about how Tom Brady kind of changed everything about what we should expect from older quarterbacks. Does that not apply to Gino because of basically he took six or seven years of backup and he didn't really take any hits or whatever or is this. Or, or should we pay attention to this? I mean, for Vegas, he's got Bowers who's got one of the best weapons in the league. I assume they'll have like that.

They'll probably have a couple of signings coming, I would guess. Um, he's going to be in, in some fun games, new scene, new scenario. I'm happy for him. Um, I didn't really like what the Seahawks did. TK, I'm sorry. That's okay. That's the next one. Next award. It's the Brick Tamlin killed the guy award for the seemingly okay situation that got completely out of hand way too fast. And that would be the left tackle drought. This hit the point.

Craig, you rooted for Dan Moore as your left tackle for years. My God. Was there ever a world in any game where you're like, this guy, I bet he's going to make $20 million a year next year, because it happened. He got $50 million guaranteed by the Titans. Dan Moore, four years, $82 million, $50 million guaranteed. The Steelers offensive line has been bad for as long as I can remember. And Dan Moore.

It was your biggest weakness. And Dan Moore was never a sight for sore eyes on that offensive line. I'm happy to see him go. I offered to fly him to Tennessee. So we have him, we have Jay Lamour wasn't even a starter to KC for two for 30. The Ravens re-signed Ronnie Stanley for 60 million,

a guy I wanted for the Pats. And then I texted with Mallory Ravens fan and she's like, I didn't want us to keep him. He gets hurt all the time, too many false starts. So congrats to them. Uh, our Johnson on the Rams for three, for 58 actually seems like one of the best deals anyone got and then Washington trades a second for tonsil, which was shocking on paper.

And then I think everyone kind of realized the Texans weren't exactly like the, uh, the hogs in the eighties. Um, and now we have this draft coming where. Will Campbell and Membo and banks might all go five to six spots too high. Cause we still have what six, seven teams that still don't have a left tackle. Not to mention Trent Williams and the Niners who could retire like tomorrow and nobody would be surprised and, uh, Armstead and the, on Miami. And like like God only knows what happens to him year to year. What about you? How are you feeling about your new 34 year old tackle? He's not even a left tackle

he's a right tackle. We still don't have a left tackle. DK what happened here? Why are we out of left tackles? Why is this such a drought? I mean I think it this is kind of becoming a cliche at this point but it's just all about like the lack of development in college football of offensive linemen. The schemes are wide open. This they play the wider splits. They don't actually do like the real type of pass blocking that you see in the NFL or run blocking in the, you see in the NFL. I think just it's, it's a, there's a, you know, lack of development coming up from college game to the pros.

And you see these teams have to develop guys. Um, you're basically now just taking good athletes and hoping that they can, you can teach them to block in a lot of cases, not, not always, but in a lot of Jordan, a lot of strategy, right. And I mean, you know, in this class in particular, and you've mentioned this, but a lot of the top tackles in this class are maybe guards, you know what I mean? They're either not quite long enough arm length, or maybe not quite enough foot speed or whatever.

Playing left tackle in the NFL, playing right tackle either side now, there's so many good pass rushers. The best athletes on the NFL field are pass rushers, and it's an extremely, extremely difficult job to be a left tackle or to be a right tackle. So I think it's just a, it's a development issue. It's a issue where all the best athletes are going to the defensive line

instead of the offensive line. And I think, you know, the best teams in the NFL, the teams with the best offensive lines are putting a ton of resources into a ton of money and have really good coaching at those positions. Like the offensive line coaches is a huge, like competitive advantage right now in the NFL, I think. So it's just, it's a number of variables. Would you say it's a second most important position now behind quarterback because of how scarce it is? Would you put it over every other position?

I think so, yeah. Would you, Haifetz? I would, I mean, if you look at the demand, I mean, I know they're not paying left tackles as much as defensive ends, but I mean, I think would. I mean, if you look at the demand, I mean, I know they're not paying left tackles as much as defensive ends, but I mean, I think it is. I mean, you look at the Eagles, I mean, overall we make fun of Nick Sirianni. Jeff Stoutland is the offensive line

run game coordinator there is, I mean, if he disappeared, I think the whole team would collapse. He's like the MVP. He's the MVP of the team because you look and they're like, Jordan Maillat, I'd never played football. He's like a top five right tackle. You take McKay Bekden, the Jets couldn't do anything with him. He starts on the offensive line.

Today, the Eagles traded for Kenyon Green, the Texans guard who was a first run pick who's been unplayable for them. Guess what? The Eagles are gonna fix him. And so what you have is to your point about the offensive line thing. We've gone from this program era football to playbooks. It's like they used to have, Brady's talked about this like Michigan was a program. You'd be with your NFL team as a program and now it's playbooks all these kids high school college. Everything's different. The game's more spread, as DK said. But also you're not teaching as many fundamentals. The game itself has changed. You get to the NFL.

They're half as prepared and you get half the time used to practice with. So they're just not developing it. So the handful of remaining coaches who can develop the skills, overwhelming advantage to those teams. That's one of the secret reasons the Eagles have been so good is they're just become an offensive line factory because one of the few teams that can coach guys up. So now left tackles, there's so much demand.

They're like egg prices. You're looking, you're like $9 for eggs. I'm like 20 Dan Moore Jr is getting more money than Lane Johnson. This is why the Pats are going to take them. But Craig, are you an anchorman one fight guy or an anchorman two fight guy? I think, I think I'm an anchorman one guy in every respect over Every respect I think I think that's fair to say yeah, here's my issue anchorman two Is that the one where the he had the shark? Yeah, lighthouse scene yeah, what I didn't like is that scene where he's pretending

Dobby that's the same scene as talladega nights. We he has the state the knife in his leg It's just the same scene, but there's a shark instead of a knife. I haven't seen Anchorman 2 since it came out. I saw it and I let it sit there. But those are Stonewall Jackson's good. I genuinely think they made Anchorman 2 as a movie that people wouldn't think was good for 15 years and would have this belated,

you know what's actually really awesome, Anchorman 2. I think we're right heading into the zone right now where it's gonna come back and become a thing. They should've made the original pitch for Anchorman. Wasn't it just the original pitch was just a plane crash in a mountain and the plane just had like scorpions and throwing knives? They should've just made that the second movie.

Still haven't done Anchorman on the rewatchables. Craig doesn't wanna do it. Um. Oh, here's one for you, Craig. The Dracula the musical word for I can't believe this actually worked out. It's Dracula the musical. There's no way that should have been a good scene and it turns out to be one of the best funniest scenes of the movie. The odds were like 200 to one. I feel like the Patriots free agency has worked out. I can't believe it. We had all this money to spend. We have a cheap owner. They were saying how free agency wasn't that good. I get it. We overspent a tiny bit on Milton Williams.

I love Spillane. He was one of my favorite non-patriots on Sunday ticket every Sunday. The guy's just an absolute animal. Enjoyed Matt Collins. Yeah, Matt Collins. I do. Like, locker room guys. Josh Jobs. We're trying to get locker room guys. We're trying to win our locker room. But Jamal Williams on the Saints. Scott Wade. Let's bring him in too. Let's get locker room guys. Matt Collins, you save money on shoes because he doesn't wear them. So that's nice. Right. Sounds great. Anyway, I'm genuinely excited for the Pats defense, Craig. Talk me out of it. Craig do the song. The Barmore coming back, Kyle Dugger healthy.

He's got to do the song. Gonzales and Davis. Wow. You can zag on this. Go ahead. It's getting kind of hard to believe things are going to get better. No, I can't tell. Dracula musical! Dracula! I can do something else. Dracula musical! Dracula! I can do something else.

No, look, I think you've, I don't know if it's just me reading your tweets or what, but I do think that what the Patriots have done is rock solid. It's not sexy, it's not flashy, but they've brought in a lot of guys that feel like Vrable guys. Some of them have history with Vrable.

Carlton Davis, cornerback, great pick, Harold Landry, Robert Spillane, Morgan Moses, Milton Williams. Spillane's like an old school 2003 Pat's guy. Like I could have totally seen him next to McGinnis and Vrabel. We always talk, on our show we always talk about culture and how that's the most important thing. And if you build that first, everything else follows.

And it does feel like, I mean, the Patriots did not have a culture last year. I don't have to tell you that. And Vrabel is bringing in guys who build a culture. So even though no one here is super flashy and my dad's not gonna text me about any of these things, I mean, the Patriots did not have a culture last year. I don't have to tell you that. And Vrabel is bringing in guys who build a culture. So even though no one here is super flashy and my dad's not gonna text me about any of these signings, it makes a lot of sense and it's rock solid.

D.K., when do we get the text from Mina in like June or July that she studied all the defenses and thinks the Pats can have a top five defense? Like June 20th, when is that? Yeah, something right around there. The thing I like about the Pats, what they've five defense like June 20th. When is that? Yeah, something right around there. Um, the thing I like about the Pats, what they've done in free agency is it's kind of like the perfect example of what teams should do in free agency, which is. You're hedging against what you're going to potentially have to do in the draft.

So the Pats can go any direction now with their pick in the first round and all their picks, really, because they, they address the interior defensive line, you know They added linebacker. They added a starting corner. They added a right tackle I think the one thing they still really need is a receiver Yeah, I'm breaking a guy who could make a big play everyone But they don't have to take that with you know, their first round or they can usually they couldn't go for a second round Guy, and I think he could still be a contributor. That's the kind of class this is.

So they've, they've hedged. So they're not being, they're not being painted into a corner at any one position. Like we said just before, you know, having to be desperate at any position is just, it's a bad play to make. So that's, that's the one really, I think, just smart thing that they've done in free agency is they've addressed basically all their big needs other than receiver so far. I've, it's like, we've been aligned for the entire 2020s with our two dumb

franchises and just doing dumb shit and spending money on the wrong guys and picking the wrong players and just the overall sense of there's no plan at all. You're still in that, you're still mired in that hell. And maybe this won't work out, but I actually like that. There seems to be a plan for the Patriots where they're like, let's build through the lines. Let's get culture guys. Let's get guys who, if you go to the reddits of each team that lost the guy, like I went

to the Raiders Reddit, 110 posts about Spelane. People were like, oh man, I'm happy our guy got a bag, but it really, it really bums me out. I was like, okay, this is great The Herald Landry Titans read it wasn't awesome The might have been an overpay, but I also think that's for Abel's guy, but yeah type fits Do you at least feel like there's a plan here? Yeah, there's a plan there like everyone else honestly bill. I'm stunned by this. I'm I feel like I

You victory lapping, winning free agency, feels like the final death throw of the Patriots dynasty. I cannot believe, literally Belichick used to laugh at the teams that would spend all this money on day one. He wouldn't be in Cape Cod. He wouldn't be at the facility on the first day of free agency. And honestly, I actually felt a little bad for the Patriots that you were so excited about.

I didn't realize how bad it was. Jesus. Oh, please you have Drake Mayhem. You so excited about. I didn't realize how bad it was. Jesus. You're just angry. I just feel like there's anger. No, I think that, look, generally speaking, these kind of handing out all this money doesn't work, generally speaking. Like again, most free agency is just a collection of players that teams saw these guys day in, day out for five years and were like, I'm good, you can leave.

And so you got to find the gems. I will say I do like when teams do what Vrabel did, where you're like Vrabel is a culture coach. And when a culture coach has a right to bring in his guys. So Harold Landry, not been the same since the ACL, but that's the Titans guy. Robert Spillane started for the Titans. Robert's playing the ultimate like if you were able to get him every day, every any game, Robert's playing plays. You're like, damn, he's everywhere. Spillane is like the guy in the program who just was out of control.

And then it turned out, but I'm not saying he did that, but it was just like, he's everywhere. And you're like, oh my God, this guy's a maniac. Yeah, that's what he was like all last year. And Carlton, I actually think Carlton Davis is great. I mean, he broke his jaw, but I think honestly, what Carlton Davis does for his cornerback, he was in the Bucs for a long time. And then the Lions, Carlton Davis let you play man coverage. He had him.

Yes. So they, I mean, because he was on the Bucs for a long time and then the Lions. Carlton Davis let you play man coverage. The Nats DC had him. Yes. So they, I mean, cause he was on the Lions last year. That was one of the things that seems like they were grabbing a lot of dudes that they had a history with, which made me feel better, right? That's usually how it goes. I think the Davis thing's huge cause you can play man coverage now.

Very few teams have the cornerbacks to play man coverage. I think that flexibility is awesome. I think the cult, you're overpaying for culture. Frankly, I think the having all this money reflects how little players you've drafted recently worthy of extending Milton Williams. Honest. Yes. No one's 26 million a year.

He played 25 snaps in the Super Bowl. He gave him 26 million bucks. He's a rotational player. I don't think he's being paired with Christian Boramore. If anything, I think Christian Boramore, the blood clots. I don't know what's happening with his career. Like if anything, I think that that might kind of come out after the draft. I don't know what's going on there.. Like if anything, I think that that might kind of come out after the draft.

I don't know what's going on there. Overall, I think it's OK to just pay a ton of money to bootstrap yourself back to being competitive, which is what I think this is. But also rarely does it work where you're spending all this money for agency and everything's fixed. But honestly, the Patriots roster was so barren that they do need to just do something. But overall, you kind of look at these deals in two years. And suddenly, two years later, like, oh, well, if we cut Milton cut Williams we could save like 16 million dollars. That's generally how it goes you say you're that

Belichick would be laughing and not even be paying attention, but it's Belichick's fault Patriots roster is in this position if you look at Billy you sent me I think just screenshots of their drafts like four drafts in a row. 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, even 2016, there's not really. Don't forget about trading back out of the Trent McDuffie spot and then taking Colestrange right in front of Carl Aftis, the all-time double win. Chad, did you trade out of the Lad McConkie spot too?

Yeah. We did that last year, yeah. The quarterback the Chargers got had more catches than the receiver the Patriots got. Just a summary of the deal. My point is basically, look, if you, there are, it takes a little bit for it to really show up and make an impact, but if you miss on a draft class

or if you miss on two or three draft classes. If you miss on two in a row, it's death. It's, a couple of years later, your roster looks really bleak and then you have to spend in a free agency to just fill the holes. Because those are the types of guys that are supposed to come in and play role playing positions, you know, be average starters at the very least.

And if you get zero of those guys in a draft or if you get zero of those guys in two or three drafts, your roster is bad after a couple of years. So that's exactly what happened here. Craig, if they take Hunter four and say, he's going to be our number one receiver, but we're also going to use him as a Nickelback, is that one of the most exciting developments of the season? Because it would be for me.

I understand that it would be for you. I don't know if it would be for me the most exciting, but I think it says convince me on Travis Hunter that wherever he goes, it will be incredibly exciting. I think I was a little bit lukewarm on him. Um, but I've come around now that maybe the guy who played two positions in college and nobody said he could do that. Maybe he can just continue doing that in the pros. Maybe he could just be awesome as a pro. Can you do a little more attractive of the musical

before we move on? And if I see Van Helsing, I swear I will slay him. All right. Next one. The Borat stays at an old Jewish couple's bed and breakfast award for, uh, oh, I have a bad feeling about this one. That goes to the Jets and Justin Fields. Two years, 40 million. We've all kind of glossed over this and I got to say, I've heard some takes about he was doing well with the Steelers before they put in Russ. That's like, no,

he wasn't. No, he wasn't. Craig, you were, you're a Steelers fan. You were watching those games that Justin Fields ever at any point make you feel like we've got our guy. No, lock them down. We watched those games. It was like the whole reason Russell Wilson got the job is because Fields wasn't quite good enough as the starter There are certain guys with a rushing floor But such a limited ceiling where you're so trapped in mediocrity where Justin Fields is just fine enough that if the rest of the team Is okay, you can win seven eight games, which is probably what the Steelers would have done had you stayed the starter, but The Jets Hyphets went on a whole rant. I should just have him do it again about how Justin Fields

is the most jetsy quarterback ever. Go ahead, Hyphets. I mean, Justin Fields was born to be a New York Jet. He's been practicing for this his entire life. He was bathed in the light of the New York Jets. I cannot think of a more jetsy jet that hasn't been a jet yet. It reminds me, those are critical factors to being a jet.

Slightly famous enough that people know your name. Exciting enough that when fans pull up your Hyphets, that hasn't been a jet yet. It reminds me, critical factors to being a jet. Slightly famous enough that people know your name. Exciting enough that when fans pull up your highlight reel, they're gonna talk themselves into it. And gonna have moments where there's a Jets fans who don't wanna be in are gonna get reeled in. However, you also have to be bad enough where you know start to finish the entire time

it has no chance of working. And that is Justin Fields to a T. That was Leveon Bell. I mean, that was like Braylon Ebert. There were all these Jets free agents in the past that you're like, there was no chance this was ever gonna work, and you feel stupid forever talking yourself into it.

But they did talk you into it. Justin Fields is like the epitome of it. And I can't believe I didn't see this coming in advance because Justin Fields, he was honestly born for this. Neil O'Donnell was another great one boy back when the Left that one thing with your Jets blueprint Which I agreed with I thought you did a great job like around week six when it starts getting sad and they come back from commercial and it's like

Chiefs 34 Jets three and they're just showing a sad guy in the stands with a Fields jersey on. That's the last piece of it. Because the Jets fans will buy in and they will buy the jersey. And then around week six, week eight, it's sad. I just, I don't think he's a starting quarterback in the sense of you can actually win playoff games with him. DK, you agree with that, right?

I mean, yeah. I was one of Justin Fields' biggest believers coming out of the draft. I loved him. I just think he doesn't, he just holds onto the ball too damn long. It is the fatal flaw. He will get a great win. That's one other aspect of a Jets quarterback,

much like Zach Wilson. Like Zach Wilson beat the Chiefs one game. Justin Fields will beat the Bills in like week six and everybody will love it. And then that'll be the only thing they can talk about for the next eight weeks when they go one and seven. The problem is you never know. I mean, Baker, Bryce, last year, Bryce Young outplayed CJ Stroud.

If I told you that at the end of September, you would have laughed me out of the room. If you thought that's how the rest of the year would go. Like, you never know. But he's going to be more exciting than Aaron Rodgers on the field though. Yeah. Well, there's, so there's that. Yeah. And I think the fans will want him to succeed.

All right. We're taking a break and I got more awards. This Friday, grab your friends. Nova Kane? I thought you'd be dead by now. Get to the theater and experience the movie audiences are calling an adrenaline rush of a good time. It's a big screen blast.

Find a bad ass. I know. All right. Nova cane Friday. All right. This next award is from super bad. A movie we all love. It's the Seth drinks too much and accidentally headbutts Emma Stone award.

This goes to the Jaguars. I never understand what they do year after year, but this year they waved Christian Kirk so they could spend one year, 10 million on D million on Dami Brown and I just wanted to flag it. It's a seemingly small thing Nobody's hurt. It's an innocent kind of dopey free HD thing But it just to me sums up the Jaguars Like just keep Christian Kirk and don't wave them and don't take the cap hit on him now You're taking a cap hit on him and you're paying De'Ami Brown who had What one good playoff game? I just I don't think the Jaguars will ever get it and one of the reasons

I'll never get it is because The owner's son who runs the team also runs a w and writes all the scripts for it every week And I just don't think they're on the ball is my take Literally Tony Khan the son of the owner the, showed up, I think last year's draft was it, where he had the neck brace from whatever they were doing at AEW. Yeah, because you're doing an AEW bit, yeah. Yeah, which is a good summation of how the Jags are run. But yeah, Diami Brown, $10 million, he doesn't have 800 receiving yards in his entire career.

But I just keep thinking about when we were at the NFL Combine in Indianapolis, I went to the press conference for the new GM of the Jaguars. It said Jaguars GMTBD on the list because they had just hired him like four days earlier. And then like this Jaguars PR staffer comes up and adjusts the mic and then just starts talking. And I was like, oh my God, this guy's the Jags GM. He's 34 years old. We called him Doogie Howser because he just looks like a child is running this team.

And then you look what they're doing and I'm like, well, either Trent Balke, they just used all his homework that he had collected or it's an actual child running the team because nothing they've done makes makes very much sense. It's it's been terrible the whole time. And somehow they almost beat the Patriots in a pivotal game in Foxborough and we're leading in the second half with Blake Bortles. And that was like the one moment I think for your for your show next year, I think Craig shows up for the combine with an old school

Ray Allen Sonics jersey and tries to pick a fight with Jordan Schultz Because his dad is the reason I can match his size a little bit. I'll tell him to pick on somebody your own size. Yeah, it's a good battle. I think it's good publicity for the show and I just think it's a good game plan Anything else in the Jags before we move on? The Jordan Lewis contract was the worst contract anyone's given out for agency so far. He's a 30 year old cornerback who is,

like it's a 30 year old slot. 30 year old cornerbacks don't get paid guaranteed money and slot cornerbacks don't get a ton of money. Jordan Lewis, I believe the Cowboys gave him two and a half million dollars last year. He's getting 10, he got 20 million guaranteed, 30 overall. I actually don't know if he wouldn't gotten five from another team. He's getting 10. He got 20 million guaranteed 30 overall. I I actually don't know if he wouldn't gotten five from another team I it's actually an inexplicable contract to give him 20 million guaranteed when he's basically the oldest cornerback who signs so far

The Jags they never disappoint. All right. This next award is from bridesmaids It's the Annie takes sedatives and has a drink on the airplane award for single worst game plan That goes to the Cincinnati Bengals who seem to be the only team that doesn't realize you should just pay your guys six months early instead of a year and a half too late. And a lot of people have been talking about this this week, but they're just fucked because they haven't taken care of chase. They franchise tag Higgins. He'll probably hold out.

Hendrickson wants to trade. And then in the middle of this, they paid eight million a year for Mike Gosecki, which is like, so you guys need to find money, but you're also going to pay this tight end. This is the easiest position to find anybody for a million dollars. I don't understand what they're doing. I will say this though. Trey Hendrickson last year was unblockable down the stretch.

I know their defense sucked, but that guy was, was, uh, was beast. And I don't understand any of this. Danny Kelly, can you explain one aspect of it or are they just cheap? Is it, they're just cheap is the answer? I think the Kaseki thing is, is very interesting. Who are they competing against? Who are they negotiating against with that one? I'm curious.

And then why would you sign Samajay Perrine? Spend any amount of money on a running back when you- Right. You just find that guy in August. You just picked a guy in the sixth round who is your starting running back in Chase Brown or fifth round or whatever it was. I mean, learn that lesson is that you don't have to put

any money towards running back position. Save it all for T Higgins and Jamar Chase. Um, and, but like, if you look at all their signings, it's basically just like, man, you really should be using this money to extend your superstar players. And you can just find all these other guys in free agent or in the draft. It's like, they're procrastinating. It's like, they have a big paper do it instead. They're like organizing their closet and signing so much.

I'm vacuuming my house instead of working. Yeah, I'm really hoping for Joe burrow to go NBA player on this whole thing And start like the best thing that i've been in afl is if joe burrow was represented by clutch and just leaking passive aggressive stuff Like they better take care of these guys or else. I feel like he already has has But nobody takes it seriously in the NFL because it's such like a face, we really need to own it. Can you, Miles Garrett was the closest I thought anyone would come and that he took the money,

but I will say Joe Burrow, imagine being Joe Burrow and spending the whole year just campaigning, I'm like pay Jamar Chase, pay T. Higgins, pay my guys. And then you get the, he gets the notification on his phone and it says, Bangle sign Mike Kosicki to $24 million. And he's like what, like I can't even imagine being Burrow at that moment. Yeah, that's terrible. That's the notification on his phone, and it says, Bangal sign Mike Kosicki to $24 million. He's like, what?

I can't even imagine Big Burrow in that moment. Yeah, that's terrible. Are you upset Kristen Wiig didn't make more comedies, Craig? It feels like there was two more bridesmaids in her and she didn't want it. No, she tried. She made that like Barb and Star go to Boca Raton or whatever, I didn't watch that.

It hasn't worked for her. The Palm Spring show wasn't great. I'm surprised there was no show. Wasn't great. Yeah. I'm surprised there was no wedding crashers, which team shit in the middle of the street. Listen, wedding crashers is coming up. We do have a wedding thing. But it's not wedding. Yeah. Bridesmaids are sitting in the middle of the street. Oh, we have this is happening. It's right. Right now. Coincidentally, it's our next to word. It's the Melissa McCarthy.

Look away. look away. That word, which has to go to the saints. I don't think there's a more depressing team in the league than the saints. They, I tried to understand the Derek Carthing where they, uh, they're paying them more this year, but they also don't really want him as their quarterback. And it just seems like they're punting on this season. but they also don't really want him as their quarterback. And it just seems like they're punting on this season and they're like, well, from a million years ago, which when Sean Payton was here and we just kept pushing, like, I don't really fully understand the NFL salary cap and all the

machinations of it. Cause it just seems like you can just keep shoving money forward and do what the chiefs do and some other teams. But the rub of it is this Derek Carr situation where you can't shove it anymore and the guy stinks. And now it's like, and now you're in this Russell Wilson, Denver type of situation. I would be so bummed out. The same thing's actually not as complicated. It's kind of complicated, but the simplest way, the NFL teams,

when you hit to hit the cap, you it's very easy to get there because you can just change the contracts because anytime you like Williams, oh, five year deal, it's a three year. It's two year deal. And there's three team options. That's why you don't hear the team option language in the NFL. They're all team options. Right. So the end of so you can just decline the team option, which is called cutting the guys and you get under the cap. The NBA. That's not how it works, right? Cause they're guaranteed contracts. And so the Sixers, they're now you gotta like Paul George and Embiida. Yeah. And that's your Picasso, the trade machine. You move it like Tetris pieces.

The saints have created an NBA situation for themselves in the NFL where they can't get rid of any of their players. So they have to trade it like Tetris pieces, like an NBA team, cause they're stuck with everyone and the biggest one they have is Derek Carr Because they're just frankly going about this like it's like a late night on Bourbon Street They don't want the night to end so now they have to work with Derek Carr who they don't like Derek Carr doesn't really like them and they're stuck together because they can't move his deal So that the only thing they could do is keep pushing it down the

Road because they can't get rid of him and no one wants to work with him It's brutal and they have the ninth pick. And if Sanders is there, I think they have to take them. Right? When are they other, you know, unless they just don't. I just don't know what they do, but is there, Craig, is there a team you'd less wanna be a fan of than the Saints right now?

No, sadly no. They're number one, right? No, there's the Jets. Even if your Jets are Giants, like Giants, you could be like, oh, we have Malik neighbors. Well, we're in New York. Well, we have a good defensive line. I don't know what the case is for the Saints.

No, it's, it's bleak. I think they've had a nice wholesome off season. The Saints too, they are constantly and consistently forever overconfident in what they can do. You know what I mean? They, they, I think they probably believe they can compete this year. And honestly in that division, maybe they can, I don't know. Yeah. Well, I went to saints Reddit just to see what the vibe was. It's grim. People, I think saints fans really don't like Derek Carr from what I've heard.

They really don't like Derek Carr. They weren't doing backflips about Chase Young for three years for 57 million. I'll tell you that much. Yeah. What does that solve? Yeah. And they were, they lost a few guys and it's pretty grim. All right, next one. This is for Craig. It's the step brothers Catalina wine mixer award for single funniest concept. And that goes to the Steelers. If they sign Aaron Rodgers and have him throwing footballs to DK Metcalf and George Pickens, that sounds like the worst idea ever.

Or the best one. Is it so sane that I just blew your mind? I have in mind a different Step Brothers quote, which is when Dale and Brennan first meet and they're standing in the driveway and Dale's like, I'm Dale, but you have to call me Dragon. And Brennan's like, well, then you have to call me Nighthawk. That is George Pickens and DK Metcalf meeting each other.

These guys are going to be unbelievable. It's going to be like a WWE event every time they have to block two, five, 10 corners. Are corners going to be more scared of any team than the Pittsburgh Steelers coming to town? No. Look, this is, I'm all for this entire circus coming through Pittsburgh. Dude, the best, the best strategy every team is going to have against the Seelers this year is just start fights with DK Metcalf.

And it's like the Dennis Rodman thing. Just go get in their heads, get in the heads of Pickens and DK Metcalf. And it's like, yeah, you should, you should get Isaiah Stewart from the Pistons and just have him just suit up and just try to start fights. Heifetz, what's the worst idea? Paying a second round pick and 30 million a year to DK Metcalf, knowing that George Pickens is going to take this personally and immediately also want to get paid, or having Aaron Rodgers as your starting quarterback for those two guys?

If you had to pick a worse idea. Probably Rodgers because he's just going to get hurt and then you're going to go back to Russell Wilson or something. No, I think... I actually kind of... I actually like the Metcalf move. Oh, here we go. Let's hear it. We're going streaking! LAUGHTER That's it? You're just saying you like it?

You have no evidence, anything? I like Metcalf for the Steelers. I think Pickens is crazy. My rule of thumb is if Mike Talman gives up on a receiver that he can't you know, evidence, anything. I like Metcalf for the Steelers. I think Pickens is crazy. Like my rule of thumb is if Mike Coleman gives up on a receiver that he can't handle, there's a reason like Antonio Brown when they give up useless. Deontay Johnson's been on three teams since the Steelers got rid of him. If Mike Tomlin's like, I don't want to get rid of Pickens, Pickens is useless. And so I actually think to your point, I don't think they're going to pick and I

think they got me. Yes, they let him out. And I think they're going to get rid of him. And then at that point, I look at the Seahawks Steelers things as related as two midlife crisis teams that are going about it in different ways. The Steelers went and got a sports car and the Seahawks kind of just shaved their head and they're like, you know what?

I'm just going to like, this is the new me. They lost weight, stopped eating meat. Yeah, exactly. Going on a darkness retreat. Yeah, exactly. I think I was like one of the last three Pickens defenders. Craig's probably last. Craig's there.

But when he, when they ended the game with the Browns, Hail Mary and the Thursday night, and instead of trying to catch a pass, he just decided to start a fight during the play. At that point I was like, I think even I'm out on George Pickens because that, it's just insane behavior. Um, oh, Sarah Marshall, we're back again. The Peter Brenner hooking up a Sarah Marshall award for I'm happy for you, but are we sure this is a good idea?

Chris Godwin three for 66 and everyone's saying, no, this is great. That's a great price. He took a discount. Did he, did he take a discount because he had a tour in ACL a couple of years ago. He had like a really badly broken ankle last year. So now he has a two major leg injuries. He's about to hit his thirties. And like, I was, I gotta say, I was worried this was going to be like a

Pat's overpay. I was worried they were going to give him like three for 75 or something. I don't know if this guy's going to stay healthy. Why are we just penciling in Chris Godwin to be awesome again? Anybody? I think from the fantasy point of view, and this is a strategy we have started to adopt on the show, is just avoid anybody coming off of a massive injury, major injury. Because it usually is the year after the year after they get back from the injury that they start to play well again.

Which was last year for Godwin. Last year was the year after the year after and he lay out. He was incredible, right? but yeah, I mean it you can look at so many different examples of guys that That whether they re-injured the same thing or they have some sort of compensatory injury where they're you know Like their muscles are trying to make up for like weakness or whatever from coming back from an injury It's just it's so hard for these guys to get back to where they were. He's getting older. I think Godwin is kind of built deaf. He is, he's an incredible athlete.

Um, and everything you hear about him, he's an incredible person, but yeah, it's, it's risky to give him that much money coming off of this massive injury like that. I think there's a little bit of just like good guy tax culture tax. Everybody loves Chris Godwin. But people are saying he got a deal on it. Hype fits. You had that with Saquon, right? He came back from the ACL and it was an extra year before he looked like Saquon again.

It's the perfect example. Stephon Dubell actually wrote a lot about this at ESPN, but basically it just, honestly it's funny. Adrian Peterson came back from the ACL and ran for 2,000 yards and everyone talks about that. Has it happened since? He's the outlier. Yeah, but everyone else, in Saquon's obviously also

a crazy freak athlete, people always come back, aren't thequan's obviously also a crazy, like, freak athlete, people always come back, aren't the same, and the people are like, oh, I'm out. And then the next year they're gay. Like, a fantasy sleeper I'll tell you about in August, T.G. Hawkinson. He looked great in the second half of December because he was coming back from the ACL. T.G. Hawkinson seemed like my favorite tight-ended fantasy this year because he's fully back. So with Godwin, the Patriots offered him more. I think he turned it down. They did.

He wanted a rehab with the same people, which I think makes sense. I think that I agree, actually. I thought the sticker shock was kind of crazy for someone with the injury, but that's one of those situations to remember with all these. The Bucs know about the injury better than everyone.

So if the Bucs are willing to give them the money, I think it means that the Bucs aren't as worried about it. If the Bucs were worried about it, then that would be bad. The way that he plays too, like running, he mainly was out of the slot last year, he moved back to the slot, I think that's a little bit different than trying to be like this guy that wins

on the outside against one-on-one coverage and you know, all that stuff, his role I think could give him an opportunity to still be productive, but I think at the end of the day, coming off of a major injury, it's scary. Also, Diami Brown got $10 million, I'll give him a little over 20. 2-2 Atwell got 10 mil.

Craig, is that Sarah Marshall scene when they hook up again and then stop? Is that a top 20 aborted blow job scene for you in movie history? Top 10, where would you go? Single-way females, one? I have a giant folder under my bed. I'd have to go through that.

Yeah, check that out. You can get it on rewatchables on Monday. Hey, old school. The Mitch hooks up with a high school senior award for, uh-oh, this isn't aging well. This goes to two aging guys, the Rams dumping aging Cooper Cup so they could overpay aging Devante Adams, two for 46. I don't understand this either. Unless they just think Cooper Cubs, Cooper Cubs body is is shot, which I would probably tend to believe them.

Hi, Fitz. What do you think of this one? I liked it. I think it's just one for it's one for twenty three. And then I think they could get out of it with like six million dead money in twenty twenty six. So it's like whatever. But it's really a one year deal for twenty six million. And I think they look at it as wow. Our defense is really young, really cheap, really good. What if we just win the Super Bowl this year?

Because Devante is that like stagnant X outside receiver that the Rams offense kind of needs now because the first version of it was like Robert Woods and Cooper Cup. And then the next version of it was like Brandon Cooks as the ex receiver makes everything else works. But you need a reliable ex, like an actual true threat as the outside receiver. Brandon Cooks, they almost won the Super Bowl over your Patriots. When Odell was there, they got to the Super Bowl and won it with the Bengals. He got heard mid game. The whole thing changed like Devontae is in that role now.

So I think this is just you know what? You have all this cap money. Devontae is the closest of all these old receivers to his peak form. I'm saying his peak, but he's closer than Cooper Kuppert. These guys, let's just like make one last run trying to weave together the old and the new kind of like the Warriors, where you have all these young guys, all these old guys. They have the old core of Stafford, Kip Stafford, Kipord keep like Rob Havenstein and like moving on from cup and like Devontae

So Adams is Jimmy Butler in that scenario? Honestly, yes, actually I gotta say I was really I like Typhus is a football terminology during that little rant there Was that was a come a long way. It's good. You were talking X and Y, spacing. I was impressed. What were you saying? I've been static. Nine years, I know all my letters. Yeah, it was good.

The Rams receivers, almost all of them making catches are off of motion last year, and he gives them, and what Haifa said with the static thing is he can just line up on the line of scrimmage, get open. I don't know about the NBA comparison, but Davante Adams kind of reminds me of an old guy with knee pads and goggles at the Y. I don't know about the NBA comparison, but Devontae Adams kind of reminds me of an old guy with like knee pads and goggles at the Y. His game. That's turning to Craig.

That's Craig like two years from now. Craig. His game just translates or ages well I think because he's all about, you know, route running, hands, body positioning, setting up guys. And I think he never was really this guy that relied too much on speed It's kind of like the Don Dr. Hopkins thing where you know, even if he's not very fast he just wins because he's so savvy as a route runner and positioning and I

Assume he's gonna get on the same page really well with Stafford Stafford's always made receivers He we call him the kingmaker in fantasy. He's the receiver kingmaker. He feeds his guys until there's no tomorrow. And so I'm excited. It makes me happy, Bill, that you're like a little down on this because from my point of view, this is scary as a Seahawks fan that they signed Devonte Adams. I hate it. He won't be on my fantasy team, Craig. Devonte Adams won't?

I don't. It checks a couple boxes for me. Guy getting older, guy with didn't have as good of a season last year as the stats say, guy changing teams again, who's a receiver, that always makes me nervous. I don't like when receivers change in general. There's a chance he's better for the Rams than he is for your fantasy team.

Yeah, I think that's definitely true. Also wait, picking a pick up basketball, Bill, we're on the street, Are you gonna un-retire? No, my wife vetoed it. Oh! I can't afford to get divorce hyphens. That's really what it came down to. She's like, you're not playing again.

This could be a real issue for us. And I was like, okay, good to know. Oh, let's go to This Is The End. Nice. The Michael Cera and This Is The end award for most hilarious cameo. It's gonna go to somebody you're not expecting. Anthony Richardson. A two-year cameo.

Past or our life. Amazing combine. Got super excited. Went flying up the draft. Oh my god. He's like Cam Newton with a... Guess we're done now. Kind of like Michael Cera in that movie where he's just... Newton with it and and I guess we're done now kind of like Michael Cera in that movie where he's just Michael Cera's been murdered

okay what's happening anymore Anthony Richardson is overthrowing running back to the flat getting impaled by telephone poles is it bad Danny Dives is standing over him all they all think of giant things yeah open the bathroom they signed Danny Dimes for one for 14. And the Colts are saying we want these guys to compete. And in the words of James Babydoll Dixon, I wish them a lot of luck. That sounds like quite a competition.

What are your thoughts, Craig? I think Daniel Jones has definitely become underrated. And I think he honestly probably just does all the things that Anthony Richardson does, but better, which I can't believe I'm saying. but I, I, I, you know, I, I understand wanting to commit to Anthony Richardson one more time, but you need a good backup. Who's going to come in and immediately be better and make all the fans upset. And that's what Daniel Jones will be this year. Is, is dimes qualified for your two years after the injury rule?

I fits or no. No, because I think there are a few quarterbacks no one talks about as they were never the same after the injury, but they don't get put in that bucket. Daniel Jones was never the same. He had this neck injury, spinal injury, and he lost his deep touch after that, and he was never the same.

Like, he used to be really aggressive in 2019. He had this neck injury. Carson Wentz was never the same after the ACL. Mariota had a nerve injury in his arm. We never talk about him that way. To Craig's point, though, just have to say, ton of things Anthony Richardson does way better than Daniel Jones. I don't think Daniel Jones I'm not kidding

There's a point that he literally couldn't throw it further than his two receivers because there's Tony can throw the football further Yeah, Daniel Jones can well Anthony Richardson can only throw it further than all of us Guys by 20 yards They're like it's like they're like a feet in the freezer, head in the oven and like together their average. If they could just put like their skills together, I think that they would be like a really good quarterback. I think Daniel Jones can complete passes, which I think is important in the NFL in 2025. And for the the Colts who can run the ball, they have a good offensive line, they have decent receivers, they just need somebody to put the ball in guys laps. And Daniel Jones could do that. I think he's in the bathroom like juice box. I think he's active. I think Daniel Jones could do that. I think Daniel Jones is in the bathroom, like Juice Box. I think he's active.

I think Daniel Jones is actively bad. I think it's, I think Anthony Richards is in his power. I think it's a wrap. I almost, this almost made me wonder, do they do this as a way to boost Anthony Richards' confidence? Like, if they think this could still be our guy, well, what do we do?

Well, we'll bring in this guy to challenge him, but the guy hasn't been good in three years, and he's gonna kick this guy's ass. It's almost like you're- That's what I'm saying. Isn't that what Joe Flacco was, and then Joe Flacco was better than him? Yeah, well, I guess that question-

But Daniel Jones isn't actually better than Anthony Richardson is, is he? No, it's like the beginning of Rocky III, when Mickey was staging all these tomatoes for Rocky to make Rocky think he was this invincible champ, and I think Daniel Jones might be a tomato. Pifitz's joke for the longest time was he's worried about Daniel Jones crossing the street because he has no peripheral vision.

He gets sacked and he fumbles more than anyone in the world. He lived in Hoboken. I'm like, he's going to get hit by a car. I guarantee you. I don't know. I had Anthony Richardson on my fantasy team last year. I watched every snap. I mean, that was tough.

It was not a fun experience. That was like when Kevin Clark almost got, I think he did get hit by a car across the street to go to Starbucks. He got hit by a car more than once. No perforation on Kevin Clark or Daniel Jones. Blaming Kevin, it ran up on the sidewalk. Should have been standing there.

One of the ones where it was, that's true, why was he on the sidewalk? The Matt Damon's Euro trip cameo award for the most unexpected moment of joy for all of us was the bills just randomly getting Josh Palmer. I thought of Craig immediately. Craig's never, you have the most stock in this guy. Do you text, do you have a texting relationship with him? Like, are you friends with him?

If he's in town, do you eat dinner with him? Like, how does it work? Yeah, that's why I'm bummed he's now in Buffalo. He's geographically as far away as he could possibly be for me. And we used to meet every single day every week on an in and out. Look, it's a great deal. Three years, 36 million for Buffalo, they got a professional wide receiver who all the nerds out there and me, we get it, we understand the underlying

metrics are there with Josh Palmer. It may not have worked last year. He was beat up a little bit last year. This guy has great hands. He has good size. He's a good route runner. He's immediately the best robber receiver on the Bills other than Khalil Shakir. And he's just a professional football player.

He makes every team better. I don't know who wouldn't want Josh Palmer. I like him too. I was playing a Madden season with Drake May and I traded for Josh Palmer. I just put him right on the path. Guys, I was thinking that rant Craig just did about Josh Palmer. When he, during the five spots during the, as you guys are getting closer and

closer to the drafts, you can just run that as a video, like on a loop, like in speed with Keanu Reeves standing next to the bus driver and Craig could go like P, just run the same rant over and you'll get a glass of water and just run the Josh Palmer rant and go. I was like, I'm excited for Josh to Josh Hyphets. Josh squared. There's some sort of, yeah, there's something there. I like it.

Well, Josh squared is really good. I like that. Cause now we're gonna have JJ to JJ and Josh to Josh. J and J, yeah, there's all kinds of ways we can go. A lot of Js. But overall, I think that's like a peak underrated receiver room of like Khalil Shakir and Josh to Josh. J and J. Yeah, there's all kinds of ways. A lot of J's. But overall, I think that's like a peak underrated receiver room of like Khalil Shakir and Josh Palmer and Keon Coleman. I think that's going to be like the indie receiver room.

Everyone's going to be like, oh, yeah. Josh Palmer, guess how old he is. Twenty five years old. Yeah, I like them. I love. I got to say, Adam Circle for the Pats. I was hoping he could be a Pat. He's a saying he's the top 20 wide receiver in the NFL. I'm saying he's a contributor to a good team and the Bills are a smart team and they know what they're doing.

And Josh Palmer is going to be relevant and contribute to the Bills. What percentage of your love for Josh Palmer is because three years ago, I was like, Josh Palmer will never do anything in the NFL. 75% of it. Yeah. Mostly because I didn't like him. I like Josh. I'm rooting for him. We don't have to talk about this next award, but I'm just going to throw it cause we talked about the top,

but the Damien Cockburn dropping his cast into the jungle award for craziest idea that just might work is if the, if, if the giants could just take Sanders at three and send Hunter or Carter down, I'm going to be focused on this for the next six week. Next award. The Danny McBride making breakfast award for the transaction that randomly brought me the most joy. Kenny Pickett traded to the Cleveland Browns for DST in a fifth. I stared at this for 20 minutes.

How did they decide that a draft pick should be involved? Does this mean the Browns are going to start Kenny Pickett? How did Harry Roseman get a draft pit for Kenny Pickett? I, and, and if you're the Browns and you're one of the stupidest teams of the last 10 years, should you just ever trade with the Eagles under any circumstances? I loved all of the aspects of this trade. Does anyone want to take a crack at trying to explain this? Is this the Danny McBride like butterfly?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Do you think during their negotiations with Miles Garrett, right, you know, when he was deciding, should I leave or should I stay? They said, don't worry, we're going to bring in a Super Bowl winning quarterback. Yeah, we have somebody. We have somebody in our back pocket. Sign here. Yeah, we have somebody we have somebody in our back pocket signed here We did it we did a bit on the show for a long time during Kenny Pickett's rookie year That was just Kenny Pickett facts and it was like every Kenny Pickett

Stat was just sadder than the last every Kenny Pickett stat was just the saddest thing you've ever heard in your life Josh Dobbs came in and I passed four yards than him in like games versus you know Can't pick his entire season every can it games versus Kenny Pickett's entire season. Every Kenny Pickett fact was funnier than the last or sadder. Who's the Eagles backup now? McKee? Tanner McKee? Yeah. Yeah. I would add that to the sad Kenny Pickett facts. Tanner McKee made him expendable, apparently. Tanner McKee probably threw more touchdowns than Kenny Pickett did in his entire time in

Pittsburgh, I think. Hey, team wanted Dorian Thompson Robinson over Kenny Pickett. Right. Kenny Pickett facts. Hyphets, is there a chance Craig is talking himself into Kenny Pickett as like a sleeper stealth fantasy starter in like August 10th? Oh yeah, I would say like 80%. Okay, because you've always kind of deep down

liked him a little bit, right? He had a little fourth quarter Tebow magic to him, I, nobody wants to admit that, but he did. There were moments. In the Eli year. There were moments. I'll still never forget that fourth quarter, like over the shoulder touchdown to Najee Harris, that one in the game. He still, he has moments. I lost some stock on him. I'll tell you that much. I bought some stock before that 23 season. And that was the best moment of the the last three years in the NFL media

was during the pre-season of Kenny Pickett's second year. He was like 15 for 15, 180 yards and two touchdowns. Made him a captain. And for a week, everybody was like, we knew this was coming, he showed signs, he's a professional now, the playboy. Joe Montana. He's comfortable, yeah, like this is the guy,

he's got the clutch team, then Montana. He's comfortable. Yeah, like this is the guy. He's got the clutch gene, then he was fucking terrible immediately. Yeah. Yeah, my new rule is I'm just gonna ignore every single thing that happens in the preseason and just stick with what I thought in July. All right, only a couple more. The Simple Jack Award for most inevitable box office bomb.

The Miami Dolphins. When do the Over- the over unders come out? When, when can they come out? Fandel Fandel, can you just put out a dolphins over under now? I'm going under. I don't care what it is. Is it eight and a half under seven and a half under six and a half. Fine.

Under I, they can't make the under low enough. And, uh, Zach Wilson for $6 million where he ran it home. But it was like, that's the, uh, the Tyreek trade request is coming. They lost Yvonne Holland. Today there was an article about, Hey, they got a chance for Joey Bosa. They're one of the finalists. It's like, cool. He plays four games a year. That fits right in with the rest of the best guys in your team. They are still 43 to 1 on Fandle to win the Super Bowl. I'd like to announce I'm booking that bet. If anyone wants to bet 43 to 1 on Miami Dolphins,

I will book the action right here on the Bill Simmons podcast. That team's going to suck. Simple Jack right there. Anything to add, Hyphets. I think the Dolphins are built, frankly, like a Miami cocaine bender. It's all just speed and cool shit. It's just Tyreek Hill and Jalen Waddell and speed and cornerback.

They haven't eaten food in three days. There's no good guards or defensive tackles and they just have no protein. Now it's just like they've been awake too long and they're kinda getting paranoid. Tyreek on the team in September, Danny? I'm gonna go no. feels charger Z to me. Yeah. I think, yeah, I don't know if they're going to be able to get rid of me. It feels like the chargers have been quiet. So they just lose Josh Palmer.

They desperately need some speed. They need speed. And they sign BOSA. They sign Najee Harris, which is like the opposite of what they, they need people who can run fast, not Najee Harris. Yeah. I think Dolphins could be terrible. Craig, anything to add on Dolphins before we go to the last award?

I think Dolphins is a great team. I think Dolphins is a great team. I think Dolphins is a great team. I think Dolphins is a great team. I think Dolphins is a great team. I think Dolphins is a great team. I think Dolphins is a great team. I think Dolphins is a great team.

I think Dolphins is a great team. I think Dolphins is a great team. I think Dolphins is a great team. I think Dolphins is a great team. I think Dolphins is a great team. I think Dolphins is Yeah. Um, I think dolphins can be terrible. Craig, anything to add on dolphins before we go to the last award? It's like the madman quote. I don't think about the dolphins. Okay. I'll actually have two more words.

I have the, uh, the, I love you man award for sneaky best signings. Cause I think I love you man has become the sneaky best comedy of the 2000s. It just came out, there were too many comedies. It just kind of came and went. I think it's a solid, I think it's a rewatchables candidate. I think it's really good. I agree, I haven't seen it in a while. I need to watch it again, but I loved I Love You Man.

Just came out, 09 was just a glut. It was like the one that, when the draft has receiver gl gluts and there's just so many, it's like, Whoa, Brian Thomas 25th. If a movie like I love you man came out now, I would like camp out overnight at the theater to see it. Oh my God.

All right. So sneaky best signings. I mentioned how much I liked the Spillane sign into New England. I just loved that guy, but I, Drake Greenlaw to the, to the Broncos really jumped out to me because that's another one where it's coming off the injury and now there's been enough distance and he just fits in with what they do. I just, that one jumped out.

I was like, ah, that's a, that's a really good one. Um, what, uh, what was your favorite sneaky signing DK? Ooh, that is a good question. I think. You could say Josh Palmer, even though we already talked about him. Josh Palmer is a funny one. DJ Reed to the Lions. I don't know if that was sneaky.

No, it was because they got rid of Carlton Davis and basically paid DJ Reed less to play the same position. I've been a fan of him. I think he's a good cover corner. He has ball skills. The way he plays, like he has an attitude. He brings an intensity to the defense. I think he's the perfect Dan Campbell defender.

They needed some help in the secondary. And I think he's a he's a really smart signing for them. What do you have, I have the same one. I that one, I don't understand what was going on there. Did you read outplayed sauce gardener last year for the Jets like DG? It was just straight up better. And then you look at the Jets bringing in, I think Brandon Stevens for like 12 million a year.

I'm like, skip DJ Reid 16. In a world where Colton gave us 20. Again, Jordan went to the Jaguars. Jordan Lewis for 10 million a year. I'm like, DJ Reid 16 team. He's actually good. So I think that for the way Detroit wants to play defense, I think most of the signings

in the first day of free agency are, you look back and you're like, that's the one where I think you could look back and be like, oh my God, if Detroit's making it the NFC championship game again, I think that could be the difference. I thought the Pats were gonna get him, and they went with Carlton Davis instead because the DC coached him, but I also think

it felt like an attitude pick. See, he's like a big shit talker, like tough guy, and I think they want the defense to have guys like that. But I thought DJ Reed was really good last year. And I agree with you. I thought the games I watched, it felt like he was even. What do you have for your sneaky signing, Craig? I'm gonna stay in house.

And I'm gonna say Darius Slade of the Steelers, who pretty much just have one solid corner in Joey Porter. And he's a great veteran presence. I mean, the guy was a starter all through the playoffs for the Eagles and Just like a sneaky he's 34 years old But this is the perfect type of guy to come in when you're when you're in this like win now mode So I think him opposite Joey Porter is an awesome one-year deal Did Aaron Rodgers get signed yet because Because I only have one more word. He's just going to wait till Thursday.

It's he's milking it. Yeah, he's going to, he's going to wait to release enema part. And I'm a, I'm a of the empire state. And I'm a from religion of sports, May 25th. All right. Last word. The waking up in a trash Vegas hotel room with a splitting hangover, a random baby, a tiger in the bathroom, a missing tooth and a missing buddy award goes to the

San Francisco 49ers who lost everyone on their team. I know. I noticed that. And they weren't good last year. They lost Toofanga, Ward, Greenlaw, Kinlaw, Debo, Aaron Banks, Jalen Moore, Hargrave, Jusek, they overpaid Iyuk who immediately got hurt. They locked up McCaffrey right before his inevitable injury that everybody knew was happening,

and now they're about to overpay Brock Purdy. This feels like a car going off a mountain in slow motion. It might have already gone off the mountain. DK, you have to be ecstatic, because there's no team you hate more than the sixes go for the Niners. Look, I don't want to jinx anything. Can the other two answer about this one?

Right now it looks good. It looks good for me, but yeah. I, yeah, no, I think this is bad for the Niners. I mean, again, Brock Purdy was making about as much per year, almost as Dak Prescott made per quarter. And now Brock Purdy is going to make as much as Dak Prescott a year, probably somewhere between 50 and $60 million a year. And this is the cost.

It's the eight guys. I'm a big believer that actually Kyle Shanann's on the Andy Reid timeline, very similar offensive wizard, don't know about the game management, getting good enough that you're getting far enough to be criticized for not being the big one. Kind of like LeBron early where it's like Andy Reid, four championship games in a row could wasn't the guy. And Andy Reid had to go to another team. I kind of wonder if Kyle Shanann is going to be just as good of a

coach as people thought, but he's going to need to do another organization because I don't like where this is going. I don't know how much longer John Lynch is going to be in that GM spot. And I think that, I mean, this is the, the guys losing are just a good draft class. And I don't know what happens as these draft classes thin out how this team's going to age. I think frankly, like all these guys are so competitive and locked in. And when you get that close,

the idea of rebuilding on the fly, it's like emotionally very challenging. So I am very pessimistic where the Niners are going the next few years. When you said Andy Reid timeline, I immediately thought to the year when they went like four and 12 and he got fired. Yeah.

I think that could, I think Kyle Shanahan might win a Super Bowl, but like with a different team, he needs a reset. One question that I think people will probably start thinking about when we get to August, cause there were so many coaching jobs that flipped, is what are going to be like the big coaching jobs in January, 2026?

And if you're just going, if you had to like handicap it, I would say the Niners and the Dolphins would be the two. Is there another, the Steelers? Would you throw one there? Well, I think Heifetz, you know, maybe you should want Aaron Rodgers because if he blows up the New York Giants and cleans house, Shannahan and New York Giants.

To be fair, I said big coaching jobs. Oh, right, right, right. I will say, Shannahan- I didn't say coaching jobs. If Shannahan was available, Bill, what is the right, because you talked about how like the real market price for Kobe was like 75 million one year,

because they were just paying, they could have saved 50 million to cut him, and like the real price. What should the Giants pay Kyle Shanahan? In theory, you could tell me he's worth $60 million a year, and I'd be like, okay, it's not my money. Is it weird that I don't rate him as highly as some of the others?

I think he's a good coach. Well, you've never been on him. But I just feel like they've lost a lot of games in the, you know, third, fourth quarter. A lot of big games over the years, even going back to Patriots 28-3. Like I don't know how that doesn't hang on him at least a little bit. Like that team never comes through when it matters. Over and over and over again. And even, you know, I don't know. I, I think he's a good coach. And I see one of the 12 best coaches in the league.

Sure. But I don't, I wouldn't value them like that to me. I would value some bit like Tomlin way more where, and I know Tomlin drives, you've had him forever. Craig, he probably some things about him that drives you crazy, but he hasn't had a good quarterback since like 2015, 16, whatever that last good Roethlisberger year was. And we haven't won a playoff game since. Let's just say you can argue Shanahan hasn't either. I will say this. I think that Shanahan's

been winning in the fourth quarter in the Super Bowl, three of the last 10 Super Bowls, and the Steelers haven't won a playoff game in that time. True. I just, I think he's fine, but if he's like the savior in New York, first of all, his interviews are a little weird, right? Kendall Roy-ish. Yeah, he's a little, I don't know how that would play. It's tough.

His whole, I mean, he is like a Jimmy G overthrow away from having a completely different career trajectory. But he's also a no Brock Purdy away from he would have been fired two years ago because that Trey Lance thing would have run the franchise then in the ground. So I don't know the answer, but I don't know. Would you put him, DK, would you put him in like your top five

coaches? Cause I would not. I rate him pretty highly. I don't know about top five. I'd say top 10 for sure though. I feel pretty confident in him as a guy who can get a lot out of the talent he has on offense, which means a lot in the NFL. who can get a lot out of the talent he has on offense, which means a lot in the NFL. And you know, like the ability to go in

and have a very good offense with the last pick of the draft, you know, and he's done it with several different, basically anyone who goes and plays for the 49ers is gonna average like eight plus yards per attempt. I think there's a ton of value in that. No coach is perfect though. You know, every coach has like a,

it feels like every great coach has one thing that's like they're really bad at. Kyle Shanahan's is like the late game collapses. I know 49er fans are probably pretty sick of that. But I don't know. But to be fair, that was the Andy Reid thing. Cause that was when I was writing football columns and basketball columns all the time. And Andy Reid was, I had him in the playoff manifesto. I never bet on Andy Reid in the playoffs. He was like rule number six and he had a lot of bad runs and they piled up and it got to the point where he said,

yeah, this guy has a fatal flaw. So I don't know. But I does feel like this feels like the end of the line for the diners in a lot of different ways. All right, so we didn't get to talk about the Joe Milton sweepstakes, the bears beefing up both lines, JJ McCarthy time. Uh, for the movies that I think we hit every movie, except we didn't talk about

mean girls, didn't talk about dodge ball, pineapple express, any award you want to just pull out of your back pocket, Craig, just with no prep at all. Oh man. Um, we didn't do road prep at all. Oh man. Bang. We didn't do road trip. Bang. Don't. What's bang?

Don't. Don't. Anime pride. But who does that go to though? I used to carry this when I was in high school. This is Aaron Rodgers sweepstakes. Don't. Don't.

Don't. All right, that's good. All right, this was fun. So when's your next podcast? Tomorrow. All right. Well, maybe Rogers will have decided, but my guess is he won't. Who's going to book this for all he wants? Two teams left.

Danny, Danny, Craig, great to see you guys as always. Craig, I'll see you tomorrow when it's threatening to become sports movie month on the rewatchables. Do you want to announce it now? No, but it's another sports movie. I've never seen it. I'm watching it tonight. All, but it's another sports movie. Okay. I've never seen it. I'm watching it tonight. All right.

Great. Good to see you guys. All right. That's it for the podcast. Thanks to Danny and Danny and Craig. Thanks to Kyle, and Gahal, and Saruti as well. Don't forget, you can watch all the clips and videos from this pod on the Bill Simmons YouTube channel.

Don't forget about rewatchable's best show prestige TV hitting white lotus episode 5 is coming Sunday night, and I will see you on this podcast on Thursday I don't have the feelings we've been on the wayside. On the brink of so long, I never want to say it. I don't have the feelings we've been on the wayside. at Kansas Star Casino or 18 plus in President DC. Gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit rg-help.com. Call 1-887-897777 or visit ccpg.org slash chat in Connecticut or visit mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here, visit Gambling Helpline, ma.org or call 800-327-5050 for 24-7 support in Massachusetts

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