The Bill Simmons Podcast - The 500th Episode, With Bill Hader and a Surprise First-Time Guest | The Bill Simmons Podcast

Episode Date: March 29, 2019

HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Bill Hader to talk HBO's new season of "Barry", SNL stories, favorite films, getting old, the NBA and more (4:40) Then, for the first time EVER, Bill calls up *** ***, to tell some incredible stories (1:19:25). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today's episode of the Bill Simmons podcast, the 500th on the Ringer Podcast Network, brought to you as always by ZipRecruiter. The best teams start with great talent, like this team. It's me and nephew Kyle. What a great team. Every day. A lot of talent. No one knows the importance of talent more than ZipRecruiter.

They deliver qualified candidates fast, so effective. 80% of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site. And just one day, my listeners can try it for free. Go to ZipRecruiter.com slash BS. That is ZipRecruiter.com slash BS. ZipRecruiter is the smartest way to hire. Meanwhile, in order to support this show,

especially on our 500th episode, you need to help us some great advertisers. In order to find great advertisers, you'll need to learn a little more about you. Go to podsurvey.com slash BS, take a quick anonymous survey. That'll help us get to know you a little better. That way we can show advertisers

just how great our listeners are. Plus, when you've completed the survey, you can choose to enter you a little better. That way we can show advertisers just how great our listeners are. Plus, when you've completed the survey, you can choose to enter for a chance to win a $100 Amazon gift card. Terms and additions apply. Podsurvey.com slash BS. Thanks for your help. We're also brought to you

by the world's greatest website, theringer.com, where the site's on fire this week. I gotta be honest. I like it every week, but this week's really good. We have 1999 Mov on fire this week. I got to be honest. I like it every week, but this week's really good. We have 1999 Movies Week this week, and there's been some great pieces, including, did you read Justin Charity defending the 1999 Star Wars one? What was that, Phantom Menace? Phantom Menace? No, but I'll give it a read. Oh, you'll like it. I know you like

that movie. He's defending it, so that's all that matters. He's all in on it. He loves it. We also had a really good Blair Witch piece, and it got me thinking how that was only 20 years ago when I saw it in Cambridge with my future wife, and nobody knew if the footage was real or not and whether there had actually been a murder. They marketed that movie so well, and the internet was so naive at that point

that people actually left the theater. Like, did that happen? Was that real footage? God, we were dumb. So we got that. Ringer Podcast Network, a whole bunch of great ones this week. If you missed the rewatchables, we did Pretty Woman. We have Fast Five coming next week.

Coming up, Bill Hader, who I think has been on this pod, if you're just talking about, you know, not people in my universe and the Chuck Klosterman and Jacko and House and all of those type of people, but they actually are just celebrities who aren't with the ringer. I think this might be like his sixth one.

We've been doing these, sixth or seventh, yeah. He's gotta be near the record. Right there with Kevin Durant, right. Yeah. He's got to be near the record. Right there with Kevin Durant, right? Yeah. It's him and Kevin Durant, two of the greats. So he's coming up. And then at the end of this podcast, somebody I always have wanted to come on my podcast, dating back to the ESPN days, who has refused to come on steadfastly for 12 years. And I finally broke this person and they're finally coming on. And all I will tell you is that I'm related to this person, but that's coming on. And when I

told Kyle that this person was coming on, he was as excited as I think I've ever seen him. Listen to the end, everyone. Yeah. So that's all happening. And man, this is, I can't believe we're at 500. This started October 2015. And obviously after I left ESPN, Tate Frazier, employee number one at The Ringer, he was the first producer. Nephew Kyle was the second one. Thank you both for them. Thanks to all the Inner Circle Ringer people who occasionally listen to things that are on

this podcast, debating whether we should keep them or not. They'll be doing that later with, uh, our second guest. Um, but, uh,

it's been an honor and a privilege. Thanks for spreading the word. Thanks to Apple and Spotify and, um, Stitcher and all these other great places that host Google, that host the podcast. And thanks to Midroll for helping us push some of the open spots where we talk about products that we like. And thanks to Zipcruiter and thanks to SeatGeek

and a couple other people that have helped step up for us over the course of the last few years. Callaway too. God, Callaway, I love that epic flash driver. It looks sexy. You're the best, Callaway. Anyway, here we go. Bill Hader coming up first.

Our friends from Pearl Jam. All right, I don't know how many times it's been. It's like a six day for us. Yeah, it is a six day. First time you were on was like 09. I think this might be our 10 year anniversary. It was like 09 or 2010 or somewhere in there. Yeah, way back. Yeah, that was awesome.

Yeah. Bill Hader. Seth Meyers told me to go. I was like, yeah, dude, you got to do Simmons. Yeah, that was when there just weren't a lot of podcasts. Yeah. I was able to get everybody and it was always their first podcast. And then after it was over, they were like, man, that was great.

It was almost like being the therapist. But now everybody knows. So what are you going to do with this? Is this just for your private use? Is that what this is? Yeah, they were like, are people going to hear this? How do they hear it? How do they hear it?

So what, you played in a blimp and you just fly it over Los Angeles? Is that what's going to happen? Yeah, SNL did the podcast awards, I think, last year. I thought that was like a pivotal moment for podcasts where it had reached a point where. Yeah, it was an SNL sketch. Yeah, they're being parodied, yeah. Yeah, Lauren's like, oh, we should do something about podcasts. Podcasts are hot.

Red hot right now. Red hot. Yeah, I listen to NPR. I'm i'm like well it's not really a podcast yeah it's a radio station i was thinking about your your famous lauren michaels serial killer imitation because i was in a bookstore and the btk killer's daughter wrote a book oh my god called like raised by a serial. And apparently they used her DNA to find him. Oh yeah. And I was

holding this bookstore and I'm laughing. And she looked around and somebody in the bookstore would be like why is this dude laughing at a serial killer non-fiction book? He's like he did it wrong. You know how they got him apparently was his computer.

He had a, he put a, you know, he wrote like taunting letters to the cops. Oh, he did delete them? And then like one of, no, one of his letters, he put it on a disc. Ah, big mistake. And then they, the guys just put it on a disc and they go, well, and I think the cops even were like, well, he wouldn't be stupid enough to like leave like the you know like on your computer like when you register on your computer you have to put your name and address and he did and it was like they just went right to his house and he's like ah shit they always get caught by the dumbest ways

i wish that's what dennis raider did yeah when they caught him he just went ah shit no yeah no it was me it was me ah fuck alright where do I go you put the cuffs on me who puts the cuffs on me

ah shit just like really dude yeah that I was watching the Ted Bundy four parter oh yeah one time he got caught

cause he did like an illegal U-turn or something yeah and the cop noticed and just started following him and Bundy was like god damn it Bundy in the car

he's almost there no Bundy was so like but just how like that he escaped from Colorado like twice he was a three escape

serial killer yeah and then he would go he would escape and immediately kill somebody right and then they would when they were figuring that out

he had killed somebody else yeah it was just it was such a that is such a disturbing thing and then he blamed it all on pornography yeah yeah which was like an easy scapegoat 40 i was i actually watched that with nephew kyle over there we watched all four parts we were in sundance i couldn't watch that with somebody we there's no way i could sit with somebody and watch like, hey man, Sunday. Last night was a rager, man. What if we watch this Bungie thing?

It was where we couldn't move and we needed something. The altitude and being hungover. I'm old. Yeah, the whole thing where the guy got him to talk about himself if he talked about himself in the third person. And it was weird because I'm like, I know actors like that. It's like you can only get to the truth of them if they talk about themselves in the third person

it's like we're not talking about me but no I I like a lot of true crime stuff but I always like kind of like the Fargo dumb criminals or like there's a show called Snapped about women who kill their husbands that I really like.

Snapped? Yeah. Which channel is that on? It's on Oxygen. Oxygen has great, great. There's one with Ice-T called In Ice Cold Blood by Ice-T hosts. That's fucking great. Ice-T hosts a show called In Cold Blood?

In Ice Cold Blood. Ice Cold Blood. And at one point he goes, at one of them he goes, he said, I just flipped it on. And right when I flipped it on, he goes, a lot of cases have a smoking gun. Well, this one had a smoking sandwich. And I was like, yes. This is what I'm watching for the next eight hours. How improbable would it have been 30 years ago that Ice-T was hosting a true crime series on Oprah's cable channel?

On Oprah's cable channel. Yeah. Like, no, it's headlining. One of them has very scary people with Donnie Wahlberg, which is like, all those guys are doing that. Because those things, there's a huge, everyone watches them. They're huge. Yeah. them they're huge yeah the washington post last week had this really negative article about netflix and about how they're exploiting the true crime thing and all these murder things and i'm like

why netflix it's everybody who's that go look at the podcast charts it's also been going on since the beginning of time oh like like yeah people it's always funny when, yeah, like it's disturbing, but it's true. And I have a hard time with a lot of the kind of like Ted Bundy ones. I mean, we're joking about it, but I think it's probably because it makes me so nervous and I think it's so awful, you know, like guys, what he did was so terrible. And kind of like how, you know,

we kind of make them these kind of like characters, these kind of weird fucked up folk heroes. But then when you look back on it, that's been going on for like ever. Yes. You know what I mean? And it's like in a world where, like a perfect world, you would never know who Ted Bundy was. You would just know who his victims were. And you would just be like, these very nice people are no longer with us because of this, some asshole. Right.

You know what i mean but for some reason we is like a collective culture like but i want to know about that asshole i want to like you know what i mean and it's fucking weird i don't know what it is but that's is do you remember the hbo used to have a show in the 90s but it was like an autopsy show oh yeah with dr dr bader yeah that guy was he was like a know-it-all autopsy doctor yeah he's very a lot of swagger yeah he's like the maggots i know a lot about maggots i can tell you that like you would go on and on about like just kind of riffing on like it was the you could tell the the the filmmakers were like the first captive audience he had ever had in his life never talked to a human for more than 10 minutes.

Without someone going, I don't want to hear about what you do. That was his whole life. And now it's like, oh, these people haven't stopped me yet. This is insane. And they did like 10, 10, 10 of those documentaries. Tell us more about the skin under the fingernails, Dr. Bader. And he's like, you want to hear about this? Well, most people

excuse themselves and don't come back. I love that show so much. Yeah. They really didn't have that many of them. Anytime it was on, I was into it.

Yeah, then the Iceman Chronicles was another one. That guy. Well, I'm a little older than you. I grew up, Quincy was a show about a coroner

slash, I don't even know, kind of a detective. But he was moonlighting as a detective. Jack Cogman. See, it's kind of amazing that show happened. I love that stuff. It was his follow-up to The Odd Couple. He was like,

what's next, Jack Cogman? He's like, coroner. He's like, I want to play a coroner. Tony Randall's like, oh, I want to play a coroner. Well, I'm going to play. Tony's going to do it. I'm going to do it first. He was just berating everybody. Yeah, I never saw Quincy, but I don't know.

I didn't watch really a TV. I watched a lot of, I was just saying on the other podcast, I watched a lot of movies growing up. I didn't watch it on a TV, but now it's so weird because i'll watch like a true crime thing i'll feel like kind of a creep and then like my dad and my sister will come visit me and they both separately will be watching true crime shit and i'm like oh okay so yeah the apple didn't fall far this is we were just into this thing my sister of mine was like oh yeah mom and dad had tons of like the jfk you know books yeah those super cheap like uh true crime, you know, books. Yeah. Those super cheap like true crime books, you know,

with like tons of pictures in the middle. Right. Like an inordinate amount of pictures. Stuff blacked out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Redacted and stuff. And I was like, oh, yeah. I think it just, it's like a weird fascination.

Yeah, when people have asked me about you because they know we know each other a little bit. After Barry took off and they were like, did you think Hader could do that? And I was like, yeah, he's like super nerdy about movies. And I'm not surprised at all that Barry came out of his head. Oh, good. Well, yeah. Because remember, the last time I saw you was at South By like a year ago.

And I had seen the first two. I was like, yes. Oh, that was was like, yes. Oh, that was really sweet, man. You weren't sure at that point. No, I was that you were the very, very, very first screen of Barry. Like, yeah, an audience had never seen it before. And I don't really drink.

Alec Berg and I got completely trashed out in the lobby when it started because I don't really drink. And they just kept giving me like it's like Austin so it's like this is like right you know the octopus lager from like the octopus tree that we have and you're like oh okay you know and it's like the lager that has its own band it's from San Antonio yeah and I'm like cool and then uh I was like oh man Alec i'm kind of drunk you know and i was like yeah and then i remember you came out i decided to go in and do a q a and you came out and you're like dude it's great and then you i remember you stopped and you turned back around you're like no bill because you had to rush someplace go bill i'm being honest it's really great because i could tell you didn't totally believe me you're like okay thanks man and i was like no no really you're like people are gonna like this people are gonna like this and i was like and and alec didn't see you and i went over i was like well simmons said we're? You're like, it's really great. People are going to like this. People are going to like this. And I was like, and Alec didn't see you, and I went over.

I was like, well, Simmons said we're good. He's like, well, that's awesome. I'm trying to think what I would have said if I didn't like it that much. I feel like you would have been like, eh, it's not for me. I probably would have been like, there's Hayter. Go the other way. I don't want him to see us. No, you strike me as the type of guy that would be like, right?

You would be like, like nice but kind of like ah it's not for me but hey good luck no i'm trying to think because you're so you're so vulnerable at a screening i would have been nicer that's true i'd be like yeah man yeah man congrats you were on screen congrats yeah congrats i could tell dug it. You were just up there. You were there at that screen I was looking at, and it was you. And now here you are now. Yeah. And now I'm uncomfortable. People liked it.

I'm going to go. Yeah, I think you throw it to other people when you're – Yeah. You're like, eh, everybody liked it. But you don't say what you thought. Yeah. Yeah. But, yeah, I was like –

I also, after the last yeah, I was like, I also, after the last episode, I was like, this seems like it's designed so he never has to do another season of this. Yeah, yeah. Which I know a lot of people have asked you, but I really did. I was like, oh shit, he's one and done, isn't he? Zion wins. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, Zion wins. He's out.

Yeah. Yeah, no, I think, no, I think we, I don we i think we never thought of it that way it was interesting we thought like oh no people will be like what what's going to happen next and then i think the new york times came out with an article that was like this show is so good i hope they don't make more because they're just going to ruin it and i was like they said that yeah yeah and i was like ah shit and we like ah shit what a backhanded compliment I'm good with eight please don't make any more

please don't make any more this is fine just stop I had that perfect steak once thank you very much I don't want to see it again but you know I get that though because a lot of shows they kind of can dwindle or whatever.

But I don't know. I guess the one thing, because I don't watch a whole lot of, like, television, and I am more into movies or whatever. I don't know what it is. Or Alec and I just in general is that we kind of burn stuff really fast. I think a lot of writers' rooms would be like, oh, I think you should hold off until the cop finds out, you know? And we're like, no, she's good. She'd find out, right?

You know, and everyone's like, well, we're going to burn that and then we can't use it later. And isn't the whole thing to keep the show going for a while? And I'm like, I don't know. So you're kind of like, I kind of, you just have to go with like the reality of it and go.

And that's when I get frustrated with TV shows where I'm like, okay, well, this person's like an amazing private eye. They would figure out. True. So they're just dumb. It's like 10 episodes of them. So they're just dumb, you know, or like, you know, I'm watching a movie where like a guy, you know, I'm watching like one of the Mission Impossible movies, which I like those movies. Me too. But there's one where he beats up up an entire prison at the open.

It's really Tom Cruise versus an entire prison. You don't like his ads normally? No, no, and he did great. And then at the end, it's him versus an old guy in a car part, and the old guy's kicking his ass. And I was like, he just beat up an entire prison. He could beat up this fucking old guy like no problem. Why is he suddenly now

tanking? Like what's going on? And so I don't know like you would see things like that that's the Mission Impossible that kick-ass sequence

in Dubai where he climbs up the building. Yeah. That was unreal. I loved that. I thought the last movie was out of control. Yeah. I really I actually if that had been nominated for an Oscar I would have been totally fine. Yeah. That was unreal. I loved that. I thought the last movie was out of control.

Yeah. I really, I actually, if that had been nominated for an Oscar, I would have been totally fine. Yeah. I was so satisfied with it.

I loved it. I thought it was crazy. I was just like, oh my God, that bike, the motorcycle chase. I was like, that was insane.

The bathroom scene, it has like six great, great, great scenes. Yeah, that bathroom scene and now having directed fight stuff.

Yeah, Christian McQu Aquaria and those guys, the DP and the editor, everybody deserves a lot of credit for that because it's so, you're really locked into only a specific place where you could put the camera because you're trying to hide punches and things like that and wire work

and all these other things. Wait, the guys don't actually fight? No, sorry, Bill. Why are you doing this to me? I'm sorry, Bill. They're not actually fighting. I thought Cruise was fighting those guys. No, no.

What? Fuck. Damn it. He doesn't know how to fly a jet either, Bill. What? I'm sorry, man. We're doing a Rewatchables that we're taping this week

about Fast Five oh yeah which is one of the seven greatest movies of all time and I feel like you only watch movies that are in TNT

and TBS both turders but there's a whole part about the fight scene with The Rock and Vin Diesel oh yeah

which took like two weeks to film apparently because it had so many different stunts and the cameras and then guys with The Rock and Vin Diesel. Oh, yeah. Which took like two weeks to film apparently because it had so many different stunts and the cameras and then guys got hurt a couple times

and then they had to make sure it was exactly even. So neither guy won because you had the two giant A-list actor egos. Yeah, that makes sense. So, yeah, fight scenes are complicated.

Fight scenes are, yeah, that's a, we have one this season in Barry that's like, that was an episode I was directing and we have a big, it was a big. Fight scenes are, yeah, that's a, we have one this season in Barry that's like, that was an episode I was directing, and we have a big, it was a big fight scene, and it was like, oh, this will be fun, and it was a lot of fun, but it was just like,

so I want to put the camera here, and the sound coordinator was like, no, because if you do that, you're going to see this, and we need to put the guys with the wires here, and we got to do that, oh, shit, so I really can only put the camera right here then, you know, and so can we move those guys over so we can go from here you know and you just realize so much of it is uh is uh geography is just figuring out the geography of everything so so many like fight

scenes now like not fight scenes now but there is a thing where you you do like super shaky cameras and it's like subjective like you're in the fight yeah you know what i mean and then so you kind of don't know where you're at and then you and then like five guys are down or whatever um but the reason those like those old movies and like the stuff like spielberg and james cameron too is just like the genius out of like you just know the geography you know exactly where everything is and i feel like that's why they're so good. We don't want to end up like The Godfather where Sonny misses Carlo by like seven feet as he's kicking his ass. He's like, Carlo's face is way over there.

I thought the hits with the... Most of them were good, but he misses one. Yeah, no, he really does when he's on the ground. And Carlo sells it anyway, like professional wrestling. Yeah, it was a pretty bad professional wrestling. It's a tough one. It was a tough one. I have,

I want Hollywood to pool money in so they can CGI some of this stuff to fix it. Like with the classics that are on all the time. Yeah. Because like the original Rocky, they film it in an empty arena basically. And they cheat it and they just have the fans on one side.

But there are a couple shots where you just see all these empty seats. And now that everything is so much clear, it costs like $10,000. Put some fans in there. Yeah, you tile it all. That was my job. I was a PA on a movie with The Rock actually called Scorpion King. And my job was to tile on that.

That was one of my jobs was you would take out like 50 extras. And there was like a grid. And you would go, okay, you guys stand here in this thing. And then you would take those same 50 people and rearrange them, put them in the next square, you know, rearrange them, put them in the next square. And then you had your radio and you look up where the camera was and everyone, they're like, can you move the guy with the hat? No, the other guy with the hat, can you move them over like two inches, you know, for a shot that's going to be on screen for three seconds? Yeah.

You know? Have you met The Rock since you were a PA on Scorpion? Yeah, yeah. I have a funny story, actually. He threw me – we did The Rock Obama. Yeah, that was a classic. And he had to throw me through a window. And he's a super nice guy,

and he was like, hey, man, so what's going to happen? I'm going to grab you, and it's all you. You just run, and there was sugar glass, and I had to jump through the window, and behind it is kind of a backdrop, and there's a pad there for me and everything. So he goes, all right,

so we do it at dress rehearsal. It goes great. And then on air, I think it was just like the adrenaline of air or whatever. Yeah. Actually I took the running start, but he actually, and I went through that and I went through the back,

the backdrop and I fucking rolled. I was like, I was like, I was like Wile E. Coyote, like, Oh my God. And the stunt coordinator ran over to me and he just started going, shh, shh,

shh, because we were live. So, cause I've my, I hit my knee and I was like, fuck. And he ran over like, shh,

shh, like don't make any noise. And the minute they said, you know, live from New York and the, the show started, uh, I heard Dwayne and it is, is Bill okay?

Is he okay? Oh my God, is he all right? Because he knew, I think the minute he did, he was like, oh shit. I just like really tossed him through that. Oh my God. Yeah. When you met him, did you go,

Dwayne, Bill Hader, Scorpion King. Yeah, no, I told him I was on Scorpion King and he was like, I do not remember you. That's crazy that you're on a PA and that stuff. Now you're ordering PAs around. Yeah, now I'm like, get over here. No. Get me my coffee.

Get me my coffee. Hotter. What is this? I want almond milk. Did you direct last year? Yeah, I directed the first three last year. Oh, that's right. This year I directed episodes five and episodes eight.

Whoa. How much did you nerd out being a director? That was awesome. It was kind of the thing you always wanted to do. That was the thing I've always wanted to do more than acting or anything. I would watch movies, and I was always kind of paying attention. You would start to notice

the same name at the end of them, and they would each give you a go oh wow like the alfred alfred hitchcock hitchcock or you know who was actually when i was like in third or fourth grade as i recognized john landis oh yeah and i was like kentucky fry movie like my friends and i all ran kentucky fry movie which was hilarious and then i was like oh and, and Animal House, and Blues Brothers, and Trading Places, and Coming to America. You know, it was like all these movies I loved. Kentucky Fried Movie

you saw way before you were supposed to see. Oh, way before. Yeah, it's a super dirty movie. You know what that, you know, it's that for now it used to be South Park, and then South Park lost the championship belt. To what? Big Mouth. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. My friend, my best friend growing up wrote on the first season of Big Mouth. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. My best friend growing up wrote on the first season

of Big Mouth. The fourth and fifth graders are all like, Yeah, yeah. We're going to get on Bobby's Netflix account tonight and watch Big Mouth. Don't tell anyone.

That's, you know, I don't know. Like, Kentucky Fried Movie, you actually saw like, Yeah, it was like sex scenes were in it. And you were like, oh my God, you couldn't believe,

like the end sketch in that was like, it's like a soft core sex scene where all the guys in the news can see them and stuff. Well, now they can get their nude scenes anywhere they want. I know, we would have to like. I don't even know. I don't even know what the equivalent of that would be.

I don't know where you could like find porn. It was like, you couldn't at all. And now these guys, like they come by it by accident on their computers. Yeah, you're talking 40 years ago, you're talking about people watching the scrambled porn signal just for the noises. Yeah, yeah. Ah, ah. It's just everything's squiggling.

Yeah. I remember my friend, I was in fifth grade and I had a friend. He was like, oh, you know, like when you're in fifth grade, and this kid's like, hey, man, there's this house, and it's abandoned, and it's on my block, and there's a ton of cocaine there. There's all these bags of cocaine in it. And we were like, what?

So we went into this abandoned house. I remember we showed up to him, and the guy was like, pretty Freddy Krueger, huh? He kept calling it. This house is pretty Freddy Krueger, isn't it? this house is pretty freddy krueger isn't it like he just kept saying that and we went in and it was bags of cement and i was like dude these are bags that's not cocaine not cocaine you're a fucking liar and then he and then this guy was like wait but look at this and it was a duffel bag filled with um play girls play girls he was like

what the hell is this and it it was all Playgirls. So we went and we took all the pictures and we put them under windshields down the street. Some people got in the car. It was like some dude with his junk out or whatever. We just ran down and just put them all like. It was like immediate. We all had the same idea. I'm like, we should take pictures out of this and throw them, slap them down on the windshields

under the windshield wiper of everybody, every car in the street, right? Yes. And we all just did it crazy fast. And we're laughing so hard that some guy just got into his car and was like, oh, come on. How many episodes is Barry this time? Is it eight again? Eight. Yeah.

Yeah. Is this it? Or are you going for more uh we'd love to do more so we'll see what we'll see what hbo says after the season but we'd love to do more i had some questions for you oh my gosh let's take a break to talk about luminary they're revolutionizing the way we listen to podcasts it's an amazing free app launching this spring with features like a simple user interface, personalized content recommendations. Luminary app is a better way to listen to the shows you already know and love.

They have a new groundbreaking service, Luminary Premium. At launch, Luminary Premium. That's tough. Luminary Premium. A lot of M's in that. Will cater to podcast fans by delivering an incredible network of over 40 ad-free podcasts only available on Luminary. I'm going to download the free app and sign up for Luminary Premium. Why?

Because we're going to have a few podcasts on this. Yeah, we created a couple special ones. So we're a part of this. Hannibal Burris, Hansel Rambler, he's on. Adam Davison, Passion Academy, he's going to have podcasts. Trevor Noah, let's talk this out. He's on there. Our friend Gladwell's involved.

Luminary launches this spring. If you sign up for Luminary Premium before April 22nd at luminary.link slash Bill Simmons, you'll save a dollar off your subscription every month for the rest of your first year. Plus, you'll be entered for a chance to win an exclusive experience with one of their creators, like two tickets to see Trevor Noah perform stand-up, followed by a meet-and-greet with the man himself. Luminary.link slash Bill Simmons to sign up for Luminary Premium.

Don't miss out on this limited pre-sale offer. Luminary.link slash Bill Simmons. No purchase necessary. Must be 18 years or older and a resident of the continental U.S. Void where prohibited. See official rules and details at Luminary.link. First question. What's it like working with Henry Winkler?

Oh, Jesus Christ. I knew you were going to do this. I sent him an email saying, here are the questions that get asked all the time. Because you said, I don't want to ask you the same things over and over again. How do you blend comedy and drama? It's like no one, you can't say Google it because you're an asshole if you do. What's the difference between SNL and Barry? Jesus Christ.

Go fuck yourself, man. Well, okay. Well, Barry is on HBO. What was the whole award season like as the focal point versus just being an SNL guy? Did you get competitive? No, I'm not like that competitive. That's probably why I wasn't very good in sports growing up. I was very like, oh, those guys won.

That's all right. Good for them. Good for them. They did a good job. They deserve it. They all played us like I was that guy. And but I don't know. Do you feel validation for the show that you nomination some awards? No, it was always nice.

It was total shock. I was shooting It 2. What? I'm in the sequel to It. What? The horror movie. Do you not know that? No.

Oh, my God. Are you familiar with It? It's a top three movie for my son. So the kid, Finn. Yeah. I'm him growing up in that movie. Really? So, yeah.

So I was shooting that in Hamilton, Ontario. Nice. And I woke up in the morning. I woke up and my publicist was calling me going, you guys just got 13 Emmy nominations. And I was like, what? Like I, Alec and Alec, you know, text me like, well, this is pretty crazy, huh? Like we're the most like, wow, no way. Cool.

Okay. All right. You know, like it was just a massive honor, you know? And then like Henry winning was cool. And, and when I, and I, when I won, I was just totally shocked. I thought it was going to be either Ted Danson or Donald. And then I went to a party, and when you have the award, everybody, like, people you don't know are taking it from you and saying, I want a picture with just the award. They don't want to, like, they don't want a picture of me. You just have to stand next to them?

I stood next to at least a dozen people who, like, I don't know any of them. They weren't people I recognized or knew, and they would, like, take it, and it would be like, I don't know any of them. They didn't, they weren't people I recognize or do. And they would like take it. And it was like, be like the wife would take a picture of it. And then she would hand it to her husband and the husband would take a picture of it.

And I'm like, can I have my, seriously? Yeah. I'm like, can I have that back? That's terrible. America,

don't do that. Stop doing that. I was like, this is so weird. So finally I just was like, I'm leaving. I left the party kind of early and I just went to In-N-Out Burger. With your Emmy?

With my Emmy. Maybe In-N-Out guy's like, hey, man, can I hold that? No, no, no. What happened was, no. That was the woman was like, she goes, didn't you just win an Emmy? And I go, yeah, I did. And she goes, is it in there? And I go, and I showed it to her.

And she goes, who else is in there with you? I was like, oh, it's just me. And she went, oh, baby, that's sad. Total burn. And I was like, yeah, it's just me. And she went, oh, baby, that's sad. Total burn. And I was like, yeah, all right, I'm alone on Emmy night. What? You know? We work tomorrow.

We start shooting the next day. So then, yeah, I just went home. And TCM was Ace in the Hole, Billy Wilder movie with Kirk Douglas, which is awesome. And I just sat back and gained text from people like, where are you? I'm like, I'm at home man I went home but um that's so weird that people would take the Emmy from you yeah I had that happen a couple of times people just were very weird about it yeah just I don't know Henry had a lot of fun Henry I was it was fun watching Henry like party and he was the bell of the ball at the HBO party.

He and the Game of Thrones guys were going crazy, and I kind of just high-fived and then left. Well, he's been one of the best Hollywood guys forever. Everybody loves him. He's the nicest guy in the world. It's actually smart to cast somebody like that. Yeah. Because everybody's just rooting for the project because he's in it. Yeah.

I wish the Celtics could sign somebody like Henry Winkler. everybody's just rooting for the project because he's in it. Yeah. I wish the Celtics could sign somebody like Henry Winkler. Yeah, Henry play instead of Irving. Could they just have him as a backup point guard? Could he still move around?

He would probably give the same kind of press conferences afterwards. It's all the team's fault. I was working my ass off out there. I said we should double team Aldridge,

but no one... Too soon. You know what, though? It's funny. Henry's all over your guys' Celtics-Lakers thing you guys did. Yeah. He's all over it. I just texted him.

He was like, oh, yeah, I had the best seats in the world. He's like, I saw all those games. I was like oh yeah i had like the best seats in the world and i he's like i saw all those games i was like i always look for stuff for the studio in my office on ebay like those posters i've shown you before and uh i found this search it's like 70s tv posters and i've been looking for a couple things from that area and it's astonishing how many henry wincler posters there are oh yeah there's like five different ones of you know him like

or like him like cheesecake just in the white t-shirt it's like him Travolta and Gabe Kaplan and the Dukes the Duke brothers

there and there but there's only like you know it's pretty hilarious yeah he's also like we were shooting a scene in Barry the season

we're on Paramount on stage 19 and it's this really dramatic scene and right before we did it he went he looked around he goes you know what this is you know i don't know if i told you this is where we shot happy days i'm like you did happy days here he was like yeah i haven't been here since this is crazy and i was like wow really well wait wait wait wait don't roll don't roll wait where was the stage at you know i was like where was the jukebox at i was like but he's so kind of like oh yeah this is where we did it yeah stage 19 this is wild you know it's hard to explain to like somebody from kyle's generation we only had the three channels so yeah the happy days audience so you can't even

compare it to anything now it'd be like stranger things crossed with game of thrones crossed with it was like imagine the biggest thing on earth i mean i mean he was television you know i mean john mulaney said it was like henry both of us henry has done fonzie like he'll slip into fonzie when he's telling a story or something yeah and i go and and john said he's like it's like mickeyonzie when he's telling a story or something yeah and I go and and John said he's like it's like Mickey Mouse coming to life it's like yeah seriously it's like it's like a thing you grew up with suddenly coming to life in front of you like the first thing I can remember on television was Henry you know as a kid it was like Sesame Street and then uh Happy Days and I was just like and so getting to and then the fact that he read for us.

Like, you know, we were like. Yeah. He came in and auditioned with all these other guys, you know, and I came in that day for the casting and there was Henry sitting with everybody. Did you add anybody for this year? Did you add any free agent signings? Did you improve the bench? Yeah, we improved the bench. We only have 30 minutes so it's like

we're adding characters and people are like yo like we gotta yeah we gotta we gotta be able to use other people but yeah we have some new people um sarah burns is really funny she plays a cop in it and uh loach's new partner. No, it's good. We got to talk about Mulaney. Oh, yeah. He's the funniest guy in the world right now. When I came, you and Seth invited me to SNL 10 years ago. And I think it was the first time you did Stefan.

Yeah, yeah. You were there at the Gabriels Sidibe show. It was the first time I ever did Stefan. And then we went out after, and you were like, this is John Mulaney. He wrote this thing with me. He's like, hey, man, what's happening? Just normal guy. Yeah. And then like three, four years ago, like his all of a sudden he became like a guy.

I was like that guy from the SNL after party. Yeah. No, we kind of knew it the minute he showed up that John, I mean, Seth and I were like, wow, this guy is like inordinately talented. And I remember the first time we were writing his first season, we were writing a Vincent Price sketch that I used to do these Vincent Price sketches. And then Seth was like, you want to bring the new guy in just to see if he could pitch some jokes on it? I think he's just in his office, you know?

Yeah. So I went in, I was like, hey, man, you want to work on the Vincent price with us? And he was like, Oh yeah, sure. You know? And he came in and he's kind of quiet. Like, well, John and I are, and I'm not like, I can't write jokes. I was never like, I can't write the way that Seth and those guys can, you know? So I always needed like Kristen and Fred and Andy and people could write their own material kind of by themselves or with someone else, but they could really write jokes. I really needed writers. And so Seth was kind of like, oh, it could be this.

The way I would write is I would kind of go like, well, maybe he says something like this or maybe it's, you know, he's talking to Liberace and he says something in this vein that could get us to hear. Like I was always kind of structuring it. And so I'm going, he needs a joke to liberace and john finally goes oh he could say save your sassy asides for your windowless bars and john and seth and i just looked at each other like whoa who's that this guy what the fuck like that is like a perfect, that is like a perfect joke. That is like a perfect line. And I'm like, and I think I might have said, is that from something? Like, where the hell did you come up with that?

Did you steal that? His stuff was so well honed, like, immediately. Yeah. And he's always been that way. And so what he has is just like a gift for jokes. I don't know how he does it. So I think that's why we worked well together was he could do that, and then I could kind of do the characters.

I could do a voice or a behavior or whatever, and then he was the facilitator of the jokes. There was this clip circulating online last week from the James Franco, that weird documentary he did about SNL, where you and Mulaney are coming up with something in the office. We're laughing really hard. You're just laughing for two straight minutes, and he's just saying stuff.

It's pretty funny. Yeah, we were doing a sketch. It was about a guy who had lost his mind, and he was hiring and firing all the things in his office. So he was like, cup. Yeah, I can't remember it was like mug you're now glass

you know and it was like and he loved his couch he's like couch your tops you're not going anywhere don't worry and it was like

you would change like stapler I'm sorry but you're not couch we got you to get out of here and he's like couch again don't you worry about nothing

like he was just it was just this dude that had lost his mind and I don't know why. I mean, it might not be that funny, but we were. We also had a thing called Santa Fe that made me laugh. It was just a bunch of kids going, oh, they're on a college campus. And they go, hey, where are you going to go for spring break?

And people go, I think I'm going to go to Cabo San Lucas or I'm going to go to Jamaica. And then I was this guy who's clearly 70 years old, all in like jean, like. Yeah. And with long silver hair and a backpack. And I go, how about we go to Santa Fe? And they go, who are you? And I go, I am Johnny Smith, a student just like you. And the proof is my backpack.

And I was a guy who worked for the Santa Fe Tourism Board who was trying to get kids to come to Santa Fe for spring break. And it was just me pitching Santa Fe to them and them being like,

dude, I don't know, man. And it made us laugh so hard. Did you expect everything that's happening to him to happen? Yeah, and I think... Because he's now become like the standup,

the funniest guy in the world. Top standup that the other standups even don't feel jealous of. They were looking up to him back then though. I remember when we were, I think his thing always was kind of like he was writing on the show, but he wanted to be on the show. Yeah. I remember we wrote a movie together that was not good.

Oh. That we both were kind of like, this isn't really making sense. But but I remember thinking, oh, we got to now you guys could probably get that. But no, we not that one. But it was kind of like, oh, he needs to be performing because we were writing that. I remember he would play some of the parts. And I just remember going, like, this guy should be performing, and this guy's got just great timing and all these things. Yeah, when he hosted, it was like, how did they not have him perform when he was writing? I don't know. Or maybe people get confidence later. I don't know. He always had that confidence. Before he hosted, before he wrote on the show, he came in in 2008. the way I saw him was I

saw him and Nick Kroll do oh hello and this is back in 08 yeah you know and I saw him do he just did stand-up and he did these characters and I just was like this guy's amazing I think he auditioned for the show he used to do this date not dateline law and order thing that was really funny where he played all the different characters on law and order. It was hysterical. If you ever have him on, he has to do it. I can't do it. I remember watching his audition going, oh my god, this guy is unreal. He has such a unique comedic voice. When we were working on those Stephans, he would just be like, what's the thing in it?

I just remember he would just go, he's like a shaved lion that looks like Mario Batali. And I would just lose my mind. Where did you come up with that? You know, he just, and he's a great guy on top of everything. He's just a super sweet guy who's not, I think all the success he has is because I don't know anybody who works harder. Have you seen Sudeikis' latest hair and mustache look?

No, no. I've seen the long hair, but no, there's a mustache. No, there's like a, yeah, he looks like a biker. Oh, cool. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You got to check that out. I think that's cool. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You got to check that out. I think that's cool.

He's got it going. I'm from Oklahoma. He's from Kansas. And that is a look that I think I would also want, but I don't have the balls to pull it off. Have you tried facial hair at anything? Yeah. I mean, when we did the blue jean, facial hair, I used to have a beard. I used to work in a movie theater when I was in my early 20s, and I grew out a beard and long hair because I idolized all those 70s directors.

Yeah. But then I just ended up looking like Charles Manson. I just ended up looking like a fucking serial killer. But I wear a bow tie and a cummerbund. Well-dressed serial killer. Yeah, I'm a bow tie and like a cummerbund. Well-dressed serial killer. Yeah, I'm like tearing tickets. And I was like, hey, hi. You know, and everybody's like, we're good, man.

But yeah, man, I never could pull it off. What was your favorite movie of 2018? 2018? I really liked Roma. I saw it in the theater. I just like films that I can kind of like fall into that world. Yeah. And a scene in the theater I thought was great.

It was like a Tarkovsky movie or something. It was just really kind of immersive. And I think that guy is just a phenomenal filmmaker. I just appreciated something that was that cinematic. I liked First Reform. Ethan Hawke movie. I thought that was great. It feels like we have a lot of good directors again.

Yeah, yeah. Because even this Jordan Peele movie that just came out did really well. Yeah. Like surprisingly well. And the hook was that, hey, it's Jordan Peele. He did Get Out. And people were like, yeah. Yeah. Like, surprisingly well and the hook was that, hey, it's Jordan Peele, he did Get Out, now this is that. And people were like,

yeah. Yeah, how good was Get Out, man? God, that movie was amazing. Yeah, but all those guys,

yeah, it's nice to see director-driven things and, you know, and I get the kind of thing like with Netflix, like releasing things,

like, I like Netflix and I love that they're doing I think it's rad you know um but I would like just as a movie fan of something like Roma or Battle of Buster Scruggs or these movies were out in theaters a little longer because yeah because um man seeing Roma in the theater is like a totally different experience than seeing it on your laptop or at home or something you know i think um but i also just alfonso curon i mean if you go i mean children of men and they think is a total masterpiece and

the youtube mama 10 bn and i just like that each one of his movies is like he's doing something different right like he does grab you know he does each mama 10 bn then he does like a horror like a harry potter movie. I just dig that. He's just this kind of cool journeyman who's wanting to swerve. He's like Jeff Bridges, is that way, as an actor. Jeff Bridges always will do one thing, and then he'll do totally – he wants to go 180 with the next project, which is, I think, really cool. Soderbergh's like that.

I did a pod with him last month, and it just seems like he really enjoys the one for them, one for me type of mentality. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he'll do, you know, I remember in 2000, we had that crazy year. We had Aaron Brock, but Jan Traffick. Yeah. You know.

He got nominated twice. Yeah. And the movie he made that I just loved was the movie Schizopolis. I don't know if you saw it. It's totally insane. But when I was 22, I watched that thing over and over because I was like oh it's so cool that this guy to find his way

because he kind of lost his way apparently and he was trying to find what made him like movies so he made this thing starring himself that is just totally insane and kind of could have come off kind of embarrassing you know but I thought it was really well done. And then that gave him the confidence to go do like Out of Sight,

which really was a thing that kind of brought him back or whatever you want to call it. I think we're headed toward, I think this, like my kids' generation, my kids are older than your kids, but it's so easy to film and edit now. Yeah. That I think this whole generation of kids, like 13 to 20 or 11 to 20, whatever, they're going to be coming into their creative own, basically, but have all these skills that, like, my generation didn't have, your generation didn't have. We had to have a ton of money to do that. Yeah, the cameras had to be awesome, they were also like really yeah hard to carry around you wanted to be on film so you had to like get the money to develop your film i remember

shooting stuff and then we're like cool okay well i gotta go figure out a way to get the money to develop this and that would be like nine months later you know what i mean and now that's so immediate that you could shoot something on your phone, hook it up to your laptop and edit it, and you can have a thing that fast. And it's super just instantaneous, I think, is great. I just hope. That's why when I talk to people about movies, I love what's happening. It's like, oh, watch some of these older things

or some of these kind of interesting. That's why I liked Roma because I was like, oh, you could tell the scope of that. I thought it was so cool. You can do that now without a lot of money. So you don't think Instant Family with Mark Wahlberg is going to be inspiring? You know what, though? Watch whatever the fuck you want. That movie was good.

Watch whatever the fuck you want. By the way, I, by the way, I say all that shit, but like, one of my favorite movies is the burbs. I mean, I've watched that movie like 20 times and I'm sure, you know,

if I was listening to something and like, I don't know, some guy, you know, Richard Schickel or something was like the burbs or some piece of your Pauline Kael or something like that. I'd be like, fuck you.

That movie is rad. You know, so you should be able to watch whatever you want. And also I think I come across this too, where it be like, fuck you, that movie's rad. You know, so you should be able to watch whatever you want. And also, I think I come across this too, where it's like, I'll talk about this stuff and people won't know what it is. Like, I remember being in like, doing some Q&A or whatever. And I, with Matt Stone, and we were at UCLA, like, at UCLA, and there's a lot of film school students and none of them had seen Raising Arizona.

They didn't even know what it was. And we were all like, what? You guys don them had seen Raising Arizona they didn't even know what it was and we were all like what you guys don't know Raising Arizona is and and Edgar Wright was up there too and Edgar Wright was like yeah it's the movie that made me want to make movies and they were like and then a guy okay what was that thing called again so I can write it down we're like Raising Arizona and and so then but I don't this is a big topic I don't want to get I don't want to get mad about that because it's like, so what? They don't know. But now they can discover it. I didn't know great big films when I was in my 20s, but what was exciting about it was going off and discovering that movie.

And then you watch that movie. And if you like that, then you do some more reading and go, oh, they like Preston Sturgis. Then you're watching Preston Sturgis movies or whatever weird screwball comedy that they were into and you get into it. And that's, what's fun about it. Yeah. We do this podcast called the rewatchables, which I'm going to make you come on at some point this year. And, uh, I'm always amazed by the younger ringer people when, when kind of the line is for where they're like, yeah, I don't know what that movie is. You'd be like the shining, like what? What's the shining? I don't know what that is. I don't know what that movie is. Yeah. You'd be like, The Shining? Like, what? What's The Shining? I don't know what that is. I don't know what The Shining is.

But I've seen, yeah, but I've seen Final Destination 5. But that's cool. Which I get, though. I can go see it. I was like that when I was a kid. I never wanted to watch anything before, like, you know, I was born, basically. Like, my dad would introduce me to shit. Yeah.

But he wasn't like. Kentucky Fried Movie? Yeah, it's like this. I remember him showing me Clockwork Orange, and I was like, I should not have seen it, probably. You guys wrote a great piece about Clockwork Orange. Yeah, we just did. Yeah, I loved it. I thought that was a great piece.

But I, for some reason, got it, you know? I was like, oh, I understand that, you know? And it wasn't, I was like, oh, that's kind of a, I don't know if that was the intention of the filmmaker or whatever, but it hit me on a certain level, an emotional level that I got. And I'd never seen a movie that looked like that, sounded like that. Every element of it was something I'd never seen. The way it was shot, edited, the way – the use of music, the costumes, the production design, everything. That was the thing with those Kubrick movies. This was a rare thing where you could be flipping through the channels and flip past a kubrick movie and see and you go oh that was a

kubrick movie go back you know what i mean because just blowing out windows the the the lighting the way he frames it the the costumes everything kind of comes together to make a specific thing that is wholly him yeah well that's i't, under 25, they don't flip channels. Yeah, that's the weird thing, right? So when you become obsessed with a movie, you're basically obsessed with the start, middle, finish because you're starting the movie and re-watching it. Whereas like my generation and yours,

we were kind of jumping into stuff half the time. Halfway through something. Like, oh, cool, this is on. But now it's, I don's on people don't do that people don't even have cable and satellite now you sound so old I know

I don't mean to sound old but I think it's you know there's something cool there'll be something really interesting in that that'll come out of that that we would never think

I think there's I was thinking about it because my son who one of his best friends is really into music, and they made a rap video. Oh, yeah.

Which Kyle has seen. They call themselves Tic Tac and Melatonin. She couldn't make up. And they cut this music video. And I mean, it was hilarious. But they actually edited it, and has like this rhythm to it. And I'm like, this is like, there's no way I could have done this when I was like 18. But I was thinking like that generation, that 11 to 20, the way they can edit stuff and it's so fast and choppy.

I wonder like, will that be the next wave of how people make movies? Yeah, well, it's already kind of happening. I think that's what I meant when I liked Roma because I'm like, oh, this thing being like a thousand cuts and yeah and when we do Barry I'm constantly removing cuts I'm always like can we just hold on this for a little bit yeah I'll go to this holding this for a little bit like let's get into a rhythm that's a little bit more like you know uh where you can Tarantino does that really well where you can get you into a rhythm and then totally, you know, sucker punch you with some sort of violence or something that you're not, because the cutting is so specific.

Yeah. And Scorsese, but Scorsese, you talk about, Scorsese is constantly cutting and his stuff's got tons of fast cuts in it. Yeah, Goodfellas is one of the so many reasons it's interesting is the movie like completely changes with 20 minutes to go. Yeah, yeah. When Ray Liotta is like in the cocaine part of the whole thing.

Yeah. And he actually films it differently and it's got a different rhythm to it. Yeah, it's a movie that doesn't really have an ending. And that's kind of the climax of the movie. And the editors, I'm in editing right now, and Kyle and Jeff, the two editors on Barry, we talk about that stuff all the time. And they're always like, I think that's like an editor's movie. I mean, Goodfellas, that specific moment. And the way he uses music, how the musicals start one way, and then it goes into Muddy Waters, and then it goes back into Harry Nielsen, and then it goes into here.

And you're just like, this thing is, you know. But it feels emotional. It feels like a guy, and we all know, you know, Scorsese used to do a lot of coke. It feels like a guy that is like, this is what it feels like when you're on a lot of coke. You're super paranoid.

You're looking up at this helicopter, you know, following you. You're, you know, you have all these things you're trying to do in the day or whatever it is. And it just felt – that's why I love his movies is that he just – he makes them whatever it is personal. Like I showed my kids Hugo because they wanted to watch it. And I was like, oh, he found out he'll make this about film preservation, which is something he really cares about.

Like there has to be something that moves him within it to make it work, you know? It's weird because cocaine has obviously fueled some of the choices he's made, but his characters never know how to do cocaine in the movies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With their head back. Yeah, maybe that's his way of being like, see, I never did cocaine. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how these people do this.

I don't know how they do it. Yeah, I know someone who worked on Raging Bull and said he had like an oxygen, or he has bad asthma. That had nothing to do with cocaine, but he almost died and then went and did. Jesus. He almost went and did. He died doing New York, almost died making New York, New York, and then decided to go do Raging Bull and didn't want to do it

because he didn't like boxing. I remember reading, he goes, I didn't like watching sports because it was all from one angle. Like in the, like in cities. Oh, that's interesting. Which I was like, oh, that's interesting. Yeah. He's like, it was all from one angle and he liked, you know, movies where it popped around,

but it was all one angle. And, and so he's like, I don't know about boxing, but De Niro was like, I want to play this boxer. And then, you know, it's like one of his best movies you know and then it's so funny how those things happen tough rewatch yeah yeah that's a rough movie to watch but I really like that my dad

when I was 15 took me to some benefit thing for Tommy Morrison because he's from Tulsa it was something and Muhammad Ali and Jake LaMotta were both there and I got to meet both and I have something in Muhammad Ali and Jake LaMotta were both there. And I got to meet both. And I have pictures of both them,

like Jake LaMotta and Muhammad Ali, which was fucking insane. And I just am like totally terrified, you know. Let's take a break to talk about SoFi. It's a personal finance company. And that's not afraid to call bullshit and push against the status quo. Like,

did you know you're being underpaid by your bank account? That's why they just launched SoFi Money. Gives you the benefits of both checking and savings morphed into one single account. You earn 2.25% APY on your cash. That's way more interest than you're probably earning from your bank account right now. You also pay zero fees.

That means no account fees, no overdraft fees, no foreign transaction fees. Even your ATM fees will get reimbursed. SoFi money also gets you SoFi membership where you'll get access to exclusive events, free one-on-one career coaching and more. Open a SoFi money account and learn all the other ways SoFi can help you get your money right. Visit SoFi.com slash Simmons. SoFi.com slash Simmons.

S-O-F-I. As of February 2019, annual of yield is 2.25%. Interest rates are variable, subject to change at any time. No minimum balance required. Back to Bill Hader. How old is your oldest kid now? Nine. What kind of movies are you watching with your kids?

She just liked, I showed her Holy Grail, which she loved. Nine to ten is when you can really start shaping their sense of humor if you do it correctly. They like Teen Wolf. Oh, why not? I mean, it's an all-time classic. But I had to be like, that's not how you play basketball. I was like, he traveled and carried like 20 times I was like

there's no way yeah you can do any of those things I think in my basketball book I tried to figure out what the actual box score was he had some guy in his team

that wasn't even credited who had like a double double it was like the unsung hero of that game not the fat guy but the third guy. The fat guy, though, his shot's terrible. I mean, you could just tell everybody. Well, the bad guy in it seemed like he knew how to play basketball.

Bad guy wasn't terrible. I don't know how you were allowed to stand under the basket. No, that was a thing. I told my daughter, I was like, you're not allowed to do that in basketball. You can't give the opponent a dirty look while you're in a game. It is funny, though. Some of those, I mean, some 80s movies are just gone.

Like, if you watch them with your kids, they'd just be like, this is slow, this is boring, I don't get it. But then, like, Teen Wolf, Karate Kid, there's certain ones, Goonies. Goonies was a huge one, yeah. The Sandlot, which is early 90s, but there's certain movies that have just becomeonies was a huge one The Sandlot which is early 90s but there's certain movies that have just

become timeless my kids wanted to watch It because I was doing It 2 and I'm like you can't watch It and they wanted to and so I showed them Sandlot and told them it was It

and they were like this isn't scary at all yeah I was like yeah no this is It I'm gonna be that guy growing up that guy right there

would you let the 9 yearyear-old watch it? No, my gosh, no. She would be terrified. No, it's that movie. The whole opening of that movie is too much. How many times has Ben watched it? Probably five to ten. My son.

Yeah. I would say at least ten. He loves it. My son likes scary movies, though. Yeah, how old is he? He's 11. My kids like movies where something's wrong with the house. They've seen

every single one of those. When I was that age, that's what I was into. They like that and they like somebody's away for the weekend and it's nice and peaceful and quiet here. But wait, it's not that quiet because somebody showed up that they didn't expect. They like that plot too. Yeah, my daughter

yeah, I don't think they would. I think I showed them the trailer to It. I can't believe you're in It, too. I'm in It, too, yeah. Who else is in it? Let's see, Jessica Chastain is in it, James McAvoy, and then, you know, gosh, PJ Ransom, Isaiah Mustafa. So itaiah mustafa so it's grown everyone's grown up yeah yeah and uh that might work no yeah well that's the book was that you know it's like they grow up

and then yeah and they were smart enough to not try to do that in one movie i thought it was fantastic yeah andy the guy who made it andy and his sister his sisters is producing partner partner barbara machete they're they're awesome they're like the nicest people but man that guy bill sarsgaard man who plays penny wise i give him so much credit because he that that makeup is so uncomfortable oh my god and andy is awesome but he is like a perfectionist you do a lot of takes on a movie on those movies yeah and the kids i met the kids before I shot I'm like anything I gotta know and the kids were like he's gonna do a lot of takes I was like all right I've been people done a lot of takes and I was like oh my god man we do a lot of takes on this thing

but um but that's because like he's looking for something super specific he wants to be surprised he wants to you know but man Bill we I get to do it, and I'm wearing, like, you know, a T-shirt and jeans, Bill's in all this makeup with contacts and fake teeth and the whole thing. Oh, my God. You haven't had to do that for a movie, have you? Yeah, I was in Men in Black 3 where I was Andy Warhol, and I was – I get to have Rick Baker do my makeup, which was the fucking coolest thing on earth. I would wake up.

They'd pick me up at 1 in the morning. I would start makeup at 2 to be on set at 8. Like, that long it did take my that sounds horrible but i was with rick baker so i was like all right like out of the gate i was like all right so you started working for dick smith when you were how old you know yeah i was like so what was the first movie you worked on with dick smith he's like uh the exorcist and i was like all right so what did you do on the exorcist you know and him telling me like you know that's I think it's Rick who's they remember the girl's stomach in the exorcist where it's like the science is like help me or something on her stomach that's like a he was explaining to me how they did that with a hair dryer and all this stuff and then

one day I'd be and I'm like all right so you designed all the creatures in the cantina sequence in Star Wars right and he's like yes and I'm like, all right, so you designed all the creatures in the cantina sequence of star Wars, right? And he's like, yes. And I'm like, all right, go tell me every story.

And he would just sit there for five hours and just would tell me everything. And we got this. I was like, all right, it's American war for London. Like that's the movie. The reason we have a makeup Oscar now is because of what you did.

And that transformation sequence and he was like yeah you know I didn't have a crew on that so I got these kids for this these film students from Houston came and helped me for like no money and they were kind of my crew and we just yeah we figured that sequence out and I was like you know that's like okay and then one day I was like alright

Thriller you did Thriller how'd you do Michael Jackson's makeup you know and he was explaining all that shit to me and it was just I did the clumps so how many weeks was this you do Michael Jackson's makeup? You know, he was explaining all this shit to me. And it was just, he did the clumps. So how many weeks was this with Rick Baker doing your makeup? Oh, that was like five. It was four or five days, I think. So the fifth day you're like, so Michael Jackson. Yeah.

Michael Jackson, what's up with that? What do you think? What do you think? But I've learned though too is like, it was like I did that with Spielberg, too, because I worked with Spielberg on the BFG. And he's the nicest human being on the planet. And I really talked his ear off. I mean, I'd just be like, all right, Jaws, go. Yeah.

And he was very sweet. And I told Paul Thomas Anderson I did that. And he was like, what? Oh, don't do that to any. Don't do that to people. And then I was like, ah, you're probably right, man. I think I went overboard. Anytime a filmmaker came to SNL, I was just like, I can't.

I don't know if you, because you're like, you know, I think that's probably why I love reading, even though I wouldn't know everybody in, like, Book of Basketball or the Red Sox book. I can feel like I've had a kinship of being, like, just a huge fan of something and just, like, so insanely passionate about something. Do you feel like that when you get, I mean, do you get around like, like, like Larry Bird?

Would you just be like, I can't contain myself. I got to ask you like a billion things. Are you, are you cool? The best one from the last, I don't know, year or so was Paul Thomas Anderson. Cause he came in and Sean did that one with me and we just had no idea how it was going to go. I had heard from people like you that he's actually, like, he's funny. He's a good guy. Oh, he's awesome, yeah.

But then you just don't know with the filmmakers. And he walked in and he saw the posters on the wall, and he's like, Gabe Kaplan. I was like, all right, this is good. Oh, he's the nicest guy in the world. And then he really went into, like, his whole process. Ethan Hawke was really good, too, about, you know, sometimes when you go through people's careers, some people don't like to go backwards. Yeah.

And then other people are like kind of cool with it. And then other people are like, that's true. Like Ethan Hawke was like, I'm ready. Let's go. Yeah, that's so true that I've had that where I've gone up to an actor and go, you know what? You were so amazing in this movie. And they'll'll go that was like 30 years ago yeah and I'm like oh well it really moved me and I oh well sorry yeah they're like why are you bringing that up that was like forever ago it's like a job that they work for 10 weeks and then it was over since then I'm like no no no you have

I'm saying that specific thing affected me in like a big, you know, but I don't know, key rates that we have to like, I'm learning and I'm 40, but I'm like learning to try to manage my cool a little bit around heroes. It sounds like you should have a movies podcast for us where you just interview filmmakers and then you have like a real excuse. No, I would, they wouldn't come on cause I would, they wouldn't be able to speak. I would just be talking all the time. I also, when I get nervous, I run at the mouth too.

He was the coolest guy ever. What was the big revelation turning 40? Nothing really, man. I just ache in different ways that I didn't ache before. I threw my back out for the first time. That's stress. That's probably being on Barry.

I was vacuuming and I went to pull a core in my back. Yeah, that's stress injury. And I fell down. And my daughters love that. And then, you know, just weird pains. But also, you kind of chill out in a lot of ways, too. You kind of go chill out in a lot of ways too you kind of like go okay cool you know are you a fall sleep in front of the tv guy at like one o'clock in the morning yeah yeah because

that's when it started for me when i took after i turned 40 i always used to be like night owl up till three in the morning oh yeah and i just wake up with the tv on it oh yeah after 40 the other night actually and because of the podcast you guys did about sportsbooks, I bought a lot of those. Yeah. I was reading Breaks of the Game right now, and so I watched something. Like, I watched this movie, Women in the Dunes, last night

and then went and read some of Breaks of the Game and passed out. But I'm in bed at, like, 9. I'm super – that's when it's like oh but i've also been shooting barry and it's like i've been on a production schedule basically for the last year so that's like just crazy hours so are you settling down now no i think i want to still work i just think i need a break i don't know how to take a break that's my problem i get very like excited about opportunities they're like okay we're gonna write bar to write Barry and I'm going to chill. And then my agent calls me and he's like,

have you seen It? Yeah, well, they're doing a sequel. I'm like, oh my gosh, I got to be in that. You know what I mean? And then it's... Thunderstruck 2. Yeah, it's like... It's all set in Oklahoma City.

Thunderstruck 2. Guess what? Do you have any NBA takes for us? Well... Do you like the player empowerment era? The what? The player empowerment era? Yeah.

Guys just switching teams? Yeah, I mean, it's because I live in LA, and it's just because it's on my thing, but I do like watching the Clippers just because they are just— Oh, they're so lovable. It's just a bunch of six men and just young dudes. The crowd really—I went twice in the last couple weeks. The crowd like loves this team.

And it's really weird to hear a Clipper crowd like really like the team. Yeah, they're awesome. I mean, it's like, I don't know, man. I just, I like watching the Clipper. I just, that's the kind of basketball I like watching. I always like those strong coach teams. Yeah. Like I like watching the Spurs because I'm like, oh, okay.

There's like this design, you know. Because you like directors. Yeah, I think so. Spurs because I'm like, oh, okay, there's, like, this design, you know. Because you like directors. Yeah, I think so. I like to see what's happening. Whereas, as opposed to, like, this is, like, a crazy free-for-all, you know, insanity. Like, I don't know. Like what's happening in Boston.

Yeah, what's happening in Boston. Or, like, what's happening at OKC. You know, it's like, I don't know what's happening. I mean, that's kind of off the rails. Has LeBron reached out to you as the Lakers season went down in flames? Hey, man, can we get together? Why weren't you in your huddle?

You haven't rekindled the friendship? No, I haven't seen him since we did all that, but I love the stuff he used to do. I mean, the weird thing, I thought Shut Up and Dribble was fucking great. I thought that was awesome, and I liked his 2 Chainz record that he produced. I think he's great. And yeah, I mean, we'll see what happens with the Lakers.

It just seemed like a weird, I don't know. I mean, I kind of don't care about what happened. I don't like the Lakers, so I've never been the big of a Lakers fan. I was delighted that the Lakers fell apart, but I also think it's weird that the LeBrons are just not going to be in the playoffs. That's super weird. And he's still putting up 29 a game, but 16 teams make the playoffs, but he's somehow not on a playoff team. I have a friend.

I was talking to my dad about that. He goes, but that's why basketball is great. It's not about one guy, Bill. Yeah, yeah. But it's true. My dad the other night was talking to me. We were talking about one guy, Bill. Yeah, yeah. But it's true. And it's like, my dad the other night was talking to me and we were talking about basketball

and he's like, see, where did triple-double come from? He's like, this just came out of nowhere. I don't understand this shit. Right. He's like,

I don't like that. And I think, it's like with movies or wherever you hear your dad's voice, like I watch the Spurs and I hear my dad's voice going, see how they're running that, see,

that's good basketball. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? So it's like, he's setting picks. See, he's setting picks. The guy's down, he's good basketball. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? So it's like he's standing. See, he's setting picks. The guy's down. He's using his big man.

He's, you know, he's all, you know. But, you know, I don't know. I, yeah, but the OKC thing was kind of like just watching that, what's going on there, which I don't understand. And Paul George is hurt, right? It seems like he's hurt. His shoulder's messed up, but he's playing with it. Yeah. I like watching the Clippers.

I mean, I think it's going to be Golden State. I mean, I would like to see it be Houston, personally. But I don't know. What do you think? I don't know. This is the first time we've headed into April, or we're heading to April, and I don't have a real opinion yet.

Yeah. You don't think? I actually think it's really wide open. You don't think Golden State has. Because every time they've had a massive loss, you can always point to like, well, KD wasn't playing or Steph Curry. Right? Not really.

The chemistry's off with them. The chemistry's off with a bunch of these teams. That is true with like reading that New Yorker article about KD being like, I don't like I don't like the media and i don't you know like it's really intense for those guys like they're really maybe since do you think like they're more sensitive to it than past generations yes but i i also think the league is like you're reading breaks in the game now that however stamps just you know he's talking all those guys there's like four reporters covering the team and there's no social media

and there's no anything. And those guys are like, yeah, sure. I'll get a steak with you. Yeah. And now these guys are just, they don't trust anyone.

And they're constantly being videotaped by everybody that, you know, they're getting their lips read by, yeah, they're getting their lips read. They can't make a mistake. But I, and I also think like,

you know, we always talk about how SNL, how the cast is like an nba team right yeah there's a lot of the same dynamics and at some point i think that things work the same way where in snl you got it you're selling for other people you want other people to succeed because that makes the whole show look good there's a selflessness to it yeah and once you start undermining that whether it's snl or basketball where it's like lebron tried to trade half the team i know his buddy did and now it's like all right guys let's go get them yeah and those guys are like fuck you dude yeah that was a colossal that was but imagine on snl if you're on snl and cess's the head writer and it came out like Seth tried to trade you and five other guys for these three other guys in this other show. Yeah, you'd be like.

And you'd be like, what the fuck, dude? Yeah. So I do, I think the dynamics are just different now. Yeah, it seems like you guys just did that thing about the Celtics, too, and all the post-interview stuff with. Yeah. I mean, and like all that stuff is just kind of basically nobody should talk yeah everybody should just be quiet and like even like you made a good point like the russell westbrook thing like when i went to the editor with

the editors we were all like oh that's rad right that he like i was like yeah he told his fan to like fuck off he was being saying racial shit to them and then we watched it and we're like oh what are you saying i'm gonna kill you you have to kill you and your wife and you're like well and your wife and you're like well yeah he's been getting fucked with all day so he can say that you know but then you're like well and i think you weren't you like that's kind of fucked up that he said yeah i was like there's no winners can we stop saying like this was good everybody loses in this i was kind of like, it is kind of fucked up, but I don't know. I mean, I don't know.

It'd be awesome if Houston. I just like James Harden. That's all. So I would like Houston to something happen. It's going to come down to what it always. I agree. It's time for some change. Kyle's mourning today because Rob Gronkowski retired yesterday.

He's wearing the jersey. Tough day. He's going to fulfill his manifest destiny of WrestleMania, hopefully. Oh, good job. Yeah. He'd be perfect, right? Oh, he'd be amazing.

You think he'd turn heel pretty fast, I think. I don't know if he would know how to do that. I would like it if he did. I watched that Andre the Giant documentary and I fully cried in that documentary. Good. That documentary made me cry. Hulk Hogan explaining the match was like, that's one of the best moments in any documentary, I think. I think that thing is unreal. Thank you.

That was like, I was like, oh, man, this is so rough. So, Barry, is it on demand yet or it's just going to come on Sunday and then just watch it once a week? It's going to come on Sunday and you watch it once a week. Aren't you glad it's not all coming out all at once and then people binge it and nobody knows what episode is? Yeah, people get mad about that, but I prefer it. You know, I kind of like it that way. I kind of like it. The conversation lasts longer. It lasts for eight weeks as opposed to like, it comes out all at once and everyone's like, that was amazing. But I think that my, my gut is that you're going to be seeing more of that from a lot of these places

where everything is going to be coming out all at once. I'll tell you who loves it, The Ringer. Oh, yeah. Well, because it's an eight-week conversation versus a three-day conversation. Exactly. But I think most of these kind of binge things, I think it seems like that's where things are headed. But I hope for our show and on HBO at least because that's what's so much

fun about watching Game of Thrones. Yeah. I talked to Ben Stiller about this because he was on last week and I was talking about how I really got into Escape at Dannemora. Yeah, it was great. God, he did such a good job with that. I don't think binging it would have worked as well because it was a really deliberate, slow, kind of methodical show. And I kind

of like just having it in my life for 50 minutes each week. And then the next week I'd come back, ah, I wish there was more of these. I actually missed not having the next episode. I've been coming up against this a lot. I read that Beastie Boys book. Did you read that? It's awesome. But those guys, it's kind of the same thing.

You are now, we're now the back-of-my-day guys where it's like we had more patience with certain type of music. Yeah. Because we couldn't flip to the next track or anything. You know what I mean? We had much more patience, much more openness, you know, about things. But they weren't down, you know, saying the new stuff's bad or whatever. But it was just like, I do think it's just the way you're raised.

There's just more patience, you know know and like and that patience being rewarded right the thing with music that's really changed is you'd have the same album that you would just listen to over and over again and then you know the 20th time the seventh best song in the album you'd get a soft spot for and then the 25th time you're like like, I fucking like this song. Yeah. And I wonder if that even happens anymore. Yeah, or just that track listing matters. Yeah.

You know what I mean? And growing up, when I grew up, track listing totally mattered. This song has to follow this song or whatever. On an album, there was an art to the way that they laid it out. Well, even I'm older than you, there was the sides. Yeah, the sides was huge. What led the B-side of the album that's kind of set the tone for the next part.

So now it's just like a big mishmash. But it's all right, you know. All right, this is fun. This is fun. I don't know how many pods. Yeah, six to eight. Six to eight. Let's do a seventh one.

Come on, man. No, you're coming in for the rewatchables. You promised. I'll come in for the rewatchables. When you unwind, we'll pick a movie. In two weeks, I'm going to be kind of done with editing, and I'll be able to process things. You can pick any third person you want, anyone in your life.

I'll bring Kyle and Jeff, my editors, because they're hilarious. Okay. We'll do whatever you want. All right, cool, man. I'll set the format. I'll do it. All right, buddy. Good luck with Barry.

All right, before we call our mystery second guest here on the 500th episode of the BS podcast, Hulu is paying some of the league's best players a lot of money to do some pretty crazy stuff. Joel changed his nickname from the process to Joel Hulu has live sports and bead. Damian Lillard got a tattoo that says Hulu has live sports and nephew Kyle got an OSP tattoo, which has nothing to do with Hulu. We're still trying to figure that out. But the other ones, they did happen as far as you know.

Clearly, they really want you to know that Hulu has live sports. Get over 60 live and on-demand channels. Tons of shows and movies, exclusive originals with Hulu. Get rid of your cable. Make the switch for only $45 a month. Watch your favorite teams. The biggest games all season. No cable required.

Watch on the go on all your favorite devices. Live TV plan required. Restrictions apply. Learn more at Hulu.com. And by the way, the rewatchables, I think we're going to put it up Sunday night this week. Fast Five, me and Shea Serrano. So get ready

for that. It's the most important podcast in my life, other than this one. All right. It's time for our mystery guest. All right. So it's my 500th episode with The Ringer and the Bill Simmons podcast. The one guest I could never get on the short list has always been my mom dating back to my ESPN days. She always refused to come on. And then I called her and guilt tripped her today and made her come on. And she didn't understand why. And I just said, please come on. And I guilted you and I guilted you. Simmons guilt finally worked.

Mom, welcome to the podcast. Thank you. Oh, you're going to do this. You're short answers. Well, I am on my second glass of wine. That's great. That's great. It's 1.30, so that made sense.

Well, it's 3.30 back east. I'm still on East Coast time, let's remember. Why wouldn't you come on the podcast? What happened? What did I do? Were you offended that my dad was coming on? No, it had nothing to do with you. I just don't really think I have anything to do with, you know, your audience.

I mean, I'm, you know, as you remind me frequently that I'm not the target audience. And so I keep my opinions to myself. Why am I getting attacked? What do you mean I remind you frequently? No, but you always say that to me when I tell you I don't like something that you do or something that's going on. Pop culture wise, right. Pop culture, and you say, well, you're not the target audience. That is my standard comeback.

But the stuff that you like, though, I mean, you're the only person I know who's seen every single British show on Amazon and Hulu. Have you watched all of them at this point? Oh, and three times. I think I'm on my fourth total starting from the beginning in Spectre Morse series because he was my dream man. Unfortunately, he was such a dream man, I Googled him and he's dead. So he's out. It really is a dream now. You'd have to bring him back to life. Well, your dream man was Richard Gere and still is. Well, that was when I was much younger and I did meet Richard Gere, as you know.

Yeah. Can you tell that story or you don't want to? Yeah, I can. I was actually at a John Kerry fundraiser in New Canaan, Connecticut. Yeah. And, um, it was a re it was at Paul Simon's house and it was like such an ordeal just to get in there because you had to meet on a bus and go there anyway. Um, I had had a few drinks and there was Richard gear and coincidentally I've had a dream about him the night before, which had been my birthday. And yeah, this was crazy. And I had had a dream about him the night before, which had been my birthday. Oh, my God. And, yeah, this was crazy. And I had had too much wine at La Bretagne.

Yeah. And saw Richard Gere and went up and told him I had a dream about him and that we had sex. And he asked me how he was, and I said he was great. Yeah. And then his very tall wife came and kind of dragged him away. Probably a good idea. Well, I mean

really, seriously. But he was quite charming. Yeah, because we did the Pretty Woman rewatchables this week and talked about... Oh, you should do Breathless. Well, I don't know if Breathless is going to happen. I did mention that that was your favorite Richard Gere movie, though. Oh, you should do Breathless. Well, I don't know if Breathless is going to happen. I did mention that that was your favorite Richard Gere movie though. Oh my God. Pretty Woman, I liked, but Breathless, I loved. When I mentioned to Steven Soderbergh that Sex,

Lies, and Videotape was your favorite movie of all time, he did a double take. You know, if it's on, I have to watch it. No matter at what point it's on, I have to watch it. I love that movie. So that's your favorite one right now? That's one of my favorite ones. Nine and a half weeks. Before sunrise, before sunset. Oh, yeah.

We're doing that this year for the rewatchables. Oh, my God. I love those. Those are the movies I have to watch whenever they're on. the big chill. The big chill is a big one for you. And then age of innocence remains of the day. That's when I'm feeling more esoteric. The big chill you like, because that was exactly your generation. You're the exact age of the people in that. And you had a lot of the same. Where we all had dreams and none of them panned out.

Some of them panned out in the big show. Now I'm into Nazi movies. What? Why? I am. I'm totally, I watch all Nazi movies. I just saw a fabulous film, Never Look Away. I don't know. I think it has to do with Trump. Oh, that's a really good movie. It has to do with Trump? I watch all things Nazi now. As a matter of fact, Netflix sends me Nazi suggestions. That's how bad it's gotten. Oh my God.

I'm trying to understand Trump's psyche. Well, that might be one way to go. I promised that you could tell at least two stories of when I was three years old, because this is your favorite thing to do at a dinner, to grind it to a halt, to tell a 15-minute story. Well, I have to tell one when you were a year and a half. Okay. Where your father and I would drag you out at parties and hand you a phone book. Yeah.

And you would promptly go to the yellow pages and turn the pages frantically until you came to the gas stations, and then you'd point to SO, Mobile, Amoco, I think it was at that time, and people thought you were like this child prodigy because you knew every gas station that lived. That was what it took back then in 1970? Yeah. To prove you're a child prodigy? You know, 1970, we were all stoned and, you know, drinking wine.

But you were really the wonder child. Oh, that's really nice. That's why I never had another child. Yeah, I mean, why would you? What about chess? were really the wonder child. Oh, that's really nice. That's why I never had another child. Yeah. Well, I mean, why would you? What about chess? What about when the child prodigy, when you decided chess would be a good idea for me? Well, you're still like that.

You don't like to lose. Yeah. And you were playing chess and a friend of your dad was an artist who was trying to teach chess to children visually. And he would come every week and play. And I think you're only like four or five, as I recall. Yeah. Um, and he would come every week and you would lose.

And one week you were certain it was probably seven weeks in and you were, you said, I'm winning tonight. I'm definitely winning. And he came and he beat you and you were like devastated. And he said, you know, Bill, I went, I don't remember the number. Well, something like 200 games. I'd lost 200 games before I ever won one. And you said you were, Oh, in 200 and you would never come down again. The guy came every week for like a month, and you refused to come out of your room.

That was the original plot for Searching for Bobby Fischer, but it just kind of the movie ended, so they had to figure out a new idea for it. Tell the story about when I wouldn't start my first grade class until what? Well, you had been at this kind of progressive little nursery school, and then we moved to Brookline, Chestnut Hill, and you were starting first grade, and we lived two blocks away, and we would stop at a little store in the corner and you'd get the paper and I would take the paper, you would take the sports page. And about the second week, the teacher called your

dad and I in and said, Billy cannot bring the sports page anymore because he refuses to start class until he's finished reading the sports page. So then we had to start having it delivered so you could read it at breakfast. Yeah. I was a weird kid, Kyle. I really like sports. What about... Yeah, you were very weird. Weird in a good way.

I just really like sports. I just really wanted sports. Well, you know, even though when you were older, and this will be the third story, which I'm not allowed to go into, but you know, just my driving you to Greenwich country day in Brunswick every day, I was not allowed to talk in the car. That's not true. In the mornings you were listening to Howard Stern and reading the USA today sports and coming home, you were listening to Mike Francesa. So I was never allowed. I was like the Uber mother. That's not true. That's really not true. That's not true.

What about the time? I was never allowed to speak. That's not true. What about, I guess we can't tell the story about the time that your car got towed outside the Boston Garden. Oh, where the degenerate peed on my shoes? Yeah.

One of the few times I took you to a Celtics game and you were late and you were yelling at me and we parked right in front of the Boston Garden. And when we came out, our car was gone. And then shots were heard. And you ran of course off to see where the shots came from. And this little old man in a raincoat came up, looked me right in the eye, unzipped his pants and peed on my shoes. So you didn't want to really take me to the Celtic games after that as much? Well, not that I didn't want to, but.

We have, you have a 50th anniversary coming up. You've been married to my dad for 50 years. I know. I feel like I'm still married to him. He's a good guy. We were just too young. Yeah. The last 41 years you weren't together, but it was still 50 years. It's a milestone. I'm excited. What are we going to do? Are we going to go away somewhere? Are we celebrating it? To a couple's retreat? I don't know. Do you still get along? 50 years. I know. I can't believe you're going to be 50 because I still feel like you're my baby. You are my baby. People in college always thought it was, man, I don't, not strange isn't the right word,

but it's definitely a little different when we would have like birthday dinners and stuff and my parents and my step-parents would come. Well, you went to an Irish Catholic Jesuit college. Yeah, it was a mistake. We were a bit of an anomaly. It was probably a mistake. Yeah, they were like, what's a divorce? What is that?

So what happens in that scenario? Give me your favorite TV show you're watching right now. My favorite TV show that I'm watching, I have to tell you, I'm very disappointed in billions. Oh no. Why? What happened? I love billions.

I think it's gotten very slick. Oh my God. I'm so not, I'm so not connected to who the guest appearances are that I don't know who they are. And it really annoys me. Oh, it'll be back billions.

They they're headed toward a strong season. Keep the faith in billions. Well, I'm sure, but right now I'm not quite so crazy about it. Of course, I loved Victoria. I like all that British stuff. Thrones is coming back. I can't wait. And don't forget, I told you about Thrones.

You did. the first season and you poo-pooed me I know until it became I had to start watching it because that we had launched Grantland right around then

and over the next year you would just tell me over and over again how Andy Greenwald was the greatest guy we had and can I meet Andy Greenwald and he writes Thrones he understands it Andy Greenwald is the greatest guy we had. And can I meet Andy Greenwald? And he writes his own.

He understands it. Andy Greenwald is the cliff notes of movies. Yeah. I used to love reading him because he kind of filled in all the blanks of what I didn't understand and what I watched. Well, do you know that Andy Greenwald is going to have his own TV show? I saw that. I read that somewhere. Briarpatch.

It's going to be on the USA Network now your creative soulmate Andy Greenwald will now actually have a television show you can watch that's exciting now I just have to figure out where USA Network is I know I told you I got a new cable box and I can't find anything anymore

I know so for the audience, every few weeks, we have to go over and reconnect some sort of HDMI cable or re-input your Amazon password or do all these things.

I don't understand why you can't figure out any of this stuff. I don't. It's not my generation and I don't want to. It's just like pumping gas. I don't do that either.

Wait. It's not my generation and I don't want to. It's just like pumping gas. I don't do that either. Game of Thrones, you're one of the only people that I can talk to because you don't know really any of the characters' names either. And we can just talk in shorthand. Called the little guy, the tall lady. He was rude to me too at At that party I went to. Oh, Peter Dinklage was. Yeah. He didn't like that.

Yes. Well, I mean, in his defense, you wandered over to him and started babbling to him. I don't think he was that interested. No, no. I wandered over to him when he was having a fight with his girlfriend. But all I did is say, you're my favorite character. Just like, thank you.

Would have been nice. Yeah. Well, he owes you an apology. Okay. Well, he owes you an apology. Okay. Well, this was fun. Do you have any last words for the 500th episode? Oh, I think you're wonderful. You were always a magical child.

Thanks, Mom. And you're a magical adult. Thank you. And I love you and I love you too, Kyle. Oh, thank you. I won't call you nephew. You do love Kyle. All right. Thanks, Mom. I appreciate it. Bye.. I won't call you nephew. You do love Kyle. All right.

Thanks, mom. I appreciate it. Bye. All right. Thanks so much to ZipRecruiter. Don't forget to check them out at ZipRecruiter.com slash BS. Thanks to SimpliSafe. SimpliSafe Home Security has everything you need to stop fear at the front door, including

24-7 protection with security experts on standby to send the authorities in an emergency. SimpliSafe will even keep working if the power goes out, if the Wi-Fi goes down, or if a burglar smashes your keyboard. So you know your home is secure. Always try SimpliSafe, see how good it feels to fear less. Just go to simplisafe.com slash BS to learn more. Thanks to SoFi.

Did you know you're being underpaid by your bank account? You might be. That's why SoFi just launched SoFi Money. It's like checking and savings morphed into one single account. You earn way more interest on your money and you'll pay zero fees. Open a SoFi Money account and learn how you can get your money right at SoFi.com slash Simmons. That is S-O-F-I.com slash Simmons. Thanks for everything, everybody. Enjoy the weekend. Hope you enjoyed the 500th episode. Thanks to Nep, everybody. Enjoy the weekend. Hope you enjoyed the 500th episode.

Thanks to Nephew Kyle. And we'll be back next week. Very excited for next week's slate of podcasts as well because I love April. April's the best. All right, enjoy the weekend. I don't have.