The Bill Simmons Podcast - The 7-0 (?!?) Steelers, Shakiest Good QBs, Mid-Season MVPs & the Sleeper Dolphins With Cousin Sal

Episode Date: November 2, 2020

The Ringer’s Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss NFL Week 8, including the Steelers winning another intense showdown with the Ravens, Dalvin Cook and the Vikings running over the Packers, Bengals-Titans, Cam Newton’s crunch-time fumble in the Patriots' loss to the Bills, Eagles-Cowboys, Rams-Dolphins, another crushing Chargers loss, mid-season MVPs, and more (2:00), before guessing the NFL lines for Week 9 (57:00). They close out the show with Parent Corner (1:23:00). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Coming up on the BS podcast, Cousin Sal is here. As always, we're going to try to figure out if the Steelers are a deceiving 8-0 or a legitimate 8-0. That and a lot more, it's all next. It's the Bill Simmons podcast presented by FanDuel. Football is in full action. FanDuel's highest rated sportsbook is the best place to bet it all. We've been doing pretty well on million-dollar picks this year. I love the first month of the season because you have to go into the season thinking,

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If you want election stuff, we have the Bakari Sellers Podcast and the Press Box hitting just about everything throughout the week. It's going to be a rollercoaster ride. Don't forget to vote. I'm going to be the 10 millionth person in your life to tell you to go vote.

Don't forget about the rewatchables. We have a new one coming Monday night. It is the American president, the Aaron Sorkin movie, Michael Douglas, Martin Sheen, Annette Bening, 25th anniversary. Ironically, the timing of the podcast, you can probably read between the lines on that one, but that will be going live on the Rewatchables feed on Monday night. And remember, if you want to hear almost 160 episodes of Rewatchables, it's all on Spotify. That's where the library is exclusively. You can still listen to all the Rewatchables podcasts from the last 60 days on any platform coming up. Cousin Sal and I breaking down week eight. We are depressed about our teams. It's not going to stop us.

First, Pearl Jam. All right, Cousin Sal is here taping this at 842 Pacific Time. Another tough Cowboys loss. My team lost, too. We just have two shitty teams. I don't even want to start there. You can hear Sal in the Extra Points podcast, Dave Sheck and Charlotte, and also the Against All Odds Extra Points Edition podcast.

So Sal all week talking gambling, not to mention, what's that called, Fox Bet Live now? It's called Fox Bet Live. I lost the game. I came in third place. On FS1, 5 p.m. Eastern. Thanks for the plug. Are we done?

We usually wait for the end. This went fast. Just put it at the top. That was nice of you. Thank you. We don't really have a lead story. Yeah. This is a weird one. We are at the halfway point, technically, but the most important game was Steelers you. Thank you. We don't really have a lead story. Yeah. This is a weird one.

We are at the halfway point, technically, but the most important game was Steelers-Ravens. And the Steelers went to 8-0. They pulled a game, I'm not going to say out of their ass, but it was definitely like nearing their rectum. And Lamar Jackson kept him in it, and Pittsburgh made a

couple of plays and they won. And over and over again, you watch the Steelers team and you think, eh, they seem beatable, but yet there ain't no. And each time they make plays and I have a lot of respect for them. They just figure out a way to win these games.

What was your biggest lesson from that game? I love that game out. I'm sorry. That was my Collinsworth. I'm in love with that rivalry. Now, my takeaway is it's the best rivalry in football, right? Right now, it's got to be, right? Is there anything else? Forget any NFC East thing or, I don't know,

NFC West is a couple of good ones, but it's the best rivalry. And it's also the most physical. It's the most hard hitting. Both of these teams, so much so that both of these teams are supposed to have buys entering this game, but the Titans, they're so filthy, they screwed that up, so the Steelers lost their buy a couple weeks before. But it is just bone-crunching to a point where the final play had to,

and you commented, you're like, Lamar Jackson just tried to murder Snead, right, the receiver, by throwing it over the middle. And the whole game is like that. And that's why I think you look at Lamar Jackson just tried to murder Snead, right? The receiver by throwing it over the middle. And the whole game is like that. And that's why I think you look at Lamar Jackson stats, you look at Ben, big Ben stats and like, neither was like great. Lamar Jackson was definitely inferior to big Ben there, but I just think it's a crazy game every time it's 16, 13 or 23,

20 or something. And you got to throw all that out the window because these guys are playing, they're fearing for their lives a little bit. I kind of see it in the play. Great point. You came out strong coming out of the gate. Sorry, sorry. No, really since Ben joined the league,

the Ravens have been his rival and the games have been pretty consistently good because I think these NFL rivalries, they seem to have these little four to five year windows. Like Seattle, San Francisco was really fun for like four years, but I didn't feel like watching today. I didn't feel like, oh my God, rivalry game. Here we

go. Brady had Manning and the Colts. You know, you go through these different, different, like they can go three to six years. This one's really been a decade and a half now. And it's had a lot of twists and turns. And, but will the one thing that's constant,

I think we talked about it last week, somehow through the draft somehow for the last two decades, or maybe it's closer to 15 years. Like you said, the defense is so intense that you don't really get Steelers teams or Ravens teams that they allow 35 points a game. You don't get that kind of year out of any of them. And I don't know if it's coaching or GM or what,

but it really lends itself to tough-nosed football. And I don't know, with that comes turnovers and people don't like that, but I loved every minute of that game. I really did. Well, it's funny. They had kind of a role reversal in the 2010s where Baltimore was the team that won these close games

that had like those one or two better coach moments and things like that and just seemed like a wee bit smarter. And then today it was a complete reversal. It wasn't just that Lamar was all over the map and had some really bad throws. I mean, he had eight or nine horrific plays.

For sure. But Harbaugh also was asleep a couple times. You were texting me during that last drive like like what were they doing with the clock management stuff like that they just seemed really sloppy for three hours and pittsburgh was not as sloppy and that was not a good weekend for the harbaugh's not a good no one of them one of them took the extra hour uh yesterday and i don't know what he did with it and then today jim like i like, I don't know. It was a mess coaching. Oh, man, there's so much coaching badness that we could talk about.

But the one thing I thought, like, Lamar could have saved it. He's obviously best when he breaks down. When the pocket breaks down, he's, like, kind of on the move. Asking him to throw that ball in the pocket, I don't know. Don't you think it has to be more of, like, a schoolyard play? Like, look, I'm going to break away from the pressure, and you're going to drag to the end of the end zone like across the end zone. I know that's

too simplistic for people who know what they're talking about, like the scheme and everything, but I just, I didn't think that pass was making it. Did you? I really had no confidence in that. I don't have a lot of confidence in him right now against good teams. This was the first time.

I like Pittsburgh this year. I have money in them to win the AFC. I bet on them to win the division for the year. And they've been good to me so far this season. I thought this was a Baltimore game today. It meant more to them. Yes. If they lost, it had just dramatic effects,

not only for them on the one seed, because now they would have lost to KC in Pittsburgh, but now you give Pittsburgh this catbird seat in the AFC North. Plus, they haven't even played in Pittsburgh yet against Baltimore. And I was just like, I'm staying away. I love the hook. I love the three and a half. It got to four this morning.

And I was like, I'm staying away. This is like the game. This is a kitchen sink game for Baltimore. And the reality is Lamar wasn't good enough. He just wasn't. And then they lose their tackle halfway through. They just gave $98 million to that, which was devastating as well. But going back to Lamar, like it just seems like you can rattle them in these, in these big games. Now we've seen it three times in the last, what, 10 months where if you had money on him, you start getting nervous about 30 minutes into the game.

Where you're like, oh man, what the fuck? What was that throw? And he had like nine of those today. I can't remember. Did you have them at home against Kansas City three weeks or four weeks ago? I did too. And I felt the same way about this game. I'm like, all right, it's not going to happen again.

It's kind of the same situation. It was like three. When we went over the line last week, it was six. Went all the way down to three. Everyone bought all those, gobbled those Steelers points. And I was looking at Lamar's stats. I'm like, in some ways, his metrics are better than his MVP year last year. It didn't make sense to me.

And another thing that doesn't make sense, and this is one of like five crazy stats. First time since 1950, a team was outrushed by 200 yards and out passed and lost. And that was the Steelers outrushed by 200. We never, ever see that. Obviously, we don't see it. It's been 70 years, but I can't really explain what happened that game other than it's just an intense rivalry and everything's different from what we see. Well, for people who didn't see it, it was 17, seven Baltimore, the seven points Pittsburgh

had where the interception pick six that Lamar through really in the first like 10 minutes of the game. Yeah. And it was like noon. This was pretty late in the early games where you're like, man, Pittsburgh just doesn't have it going today. And then they put together a couple of drives and all of a sudden they were moving. And I thought,

it seemed like Baltimore could rush the ball for five, six yards a pop every time, whenever they wanted. They would get six yards. They basically did, yeah. And even when they,

when Pittsburgh took the lead, I'm sure you had the same feeling. You're like, holy shit, they're going to steal this thing. It didn't feel like they like outplayed Baltimore, but they were up four. Lamar made a couple of bad plays.

And then, you know, the Ravens had in their hands and he didn't pull it off. Look, we always say, don't, don't judge who are your three or four Superbowl contenders until we get to Thanksgiving.

But I think there's a lot of bad signs with Baltimore, especially losing their tackle. That's, that's terrible. And they haven't been able to get their receivers going. And then Hollywood Brown, after the game, was complaining about how he doesn't get the ball. And when you watch him, he doesn't stand out at all. It wasn't like Lamar was missing him. He's a soldier. You would think, yeah,

he'd stand out. He'd wear a different uniform or something. But no, as a soldier, no, he didn't really step up. I thought it was weird because, like you said, they had the bye. This meant more to them. They treated this game like a wedding. They traded for Ngakwe two weeks ago so that he could pass all the COVID protocols and get the requisite practices in and play, and then he and Calais Campbell could bookend and torture Big Ben all day. All that fell into place. They had a flor Ben all day. And all that fell into place.

They had a florist every day. It was a wedding for them, except, I don't know, Lamar ran away from the altar at the last minute. So Pittsburgh, it gets easier for them. They have your terrible team next week. Oh, be careful. Trap game. Trap is literally a trap.

The Cowboys quarterback will fall in a trap. The Cowboys quarterback will fall in a trap. Then week 10, a slightly frisky Cincy team that we'll talk about later in this podcast. There are real signs to be careful of that team. Where is that game? That's home in Pittsburgh. Week 11 is Jacksonville.

And then Thursday night, Thanksgiving, Raven Steelers. That's the Thursday night game. That's great. Right. Yeah. Right. So then you go, their last five is Washington at Buffalo at Cincy home Indy at Cleveland.

You can make a case. They could run that slate. If they beat that Baltimore thing. I don't think they will. The Roethlisberger Tom and arrow. They always have that one game where they're favored by nine and they end up losing outright. And you're like, what happened? They just lost 30-9. What do we make of that?

But my point is... Maybe 11-0. I think you're right. 10-0 or 11-0. That's week 12, you said, Baltimore? That's Thanksgiving week, right? Yeah, Thanksgiving. There'll be 10-0 into that?

Yeah. Here's the thing, though. That one seed really matters this year because there's only one bye week. So they have the inside track KC's only a game back they don't play KC so

that'll just come down to a whole bunch of tiebreakers if they tie with them but KC's got a much harder schedule and it's really going to come down

to that Baltimore game which I don't remember there's not that many huge Thursday night Thanksgiving games no what this year no it's bad no just not that many huge Thursday night Thanksgiving games.

No. What? This year? No, it's bad. No, just in general. Usually that Thursday night game isn't like a signature game. Usually one of the first two is a little more fun. I think the first two this year are going to be terrible. Your team's playing.

Yes. Unfortunately. Sadly. Yeah. So anyway, it's all lined up for Pittsburgh. And it's a really fun story because um i just don't think they were on a lot of people's lists they were plus 850 heading into the year that's what i got them to win the afc they were three to one to win their division this was not they weren't

on the radar we focused on this a lot in the first couple weeks and then it seems like not at all but is it a different game if the ravens have fans, like real fans, like a full house? Maybe it doesn't matter. A team like the Steelers are built for this kind of thing where they don't even need the fans at home waving the terrible towels. They're just going to go out there and impose their will physically, defensively. Although Cam Hayward getting hurt could be wrong. I don't know.

We said that about Devin Bush, too. But you can't keep losing guys like this. I don't think. That's what happened to my team. They're miserable now. Wait, what happened to Cam Hayward? Well, he was rolling around on the ground at the end of the game, right? Yeah. I didn't know if we got an answer.

No, I didn't get an official anything from that. Yeah, if you're talking about who got hurt the most by not having fans this year, I think Baltimore is probably in the top four of that conversation. Just because it really did seem like they had a legit home field. I think KC did too. So wait, what happens? While we're talking about this, so the top four, the four division winners get one through four,

right? Only one gets a bye. So this puts Baltimore at five at the best if they don't win the division. So that would mean they play four? Yeah, they play the worst division champ? Yeah, they'd play the worst division champ. But the thing is, in the AFC, that team's going to be pretty good.

Uh, yeah. Maybe not. The AFC East team might not be good. Yeah. It could be the Dolphins. Still a tough game. Well, let's do QB confidence scale really quickly. Danucci?

Well, I'm going to rate have you rate these guys their fan bases how they feel about these guys from 1 to 20. So 20 would be how Seattle fans feel about Russell Wilson.

Okay. They'd be like, hey Seattle fans 1 to 20 how confident are you in Russell Wilson? They'd be like, fuck you, 25.

Right. I feel like there's going to be a ton of guys in the 7 or 8, 9 range, but go ahead. Alright, if you're a Ravens fan, how do you feel about Lamar Jackson right now? How do you feel about actually trying to win a Super Bowl with him?

This is a weird scale, Bill. 1 to 20. 1 to 20. Okay, I'll say 14. Yeah, that's where I am. I'm like 13, 14 range, right? Yeah. They lose that playoff game last year. They have the KC game this year

and they have this game. And those are basically the three biggest games he's played the last 10 months. And he was 0 for 3. It was bad. If he wins today, I might say 16, 17.

But yeah. Yeah. I think he needed today. And not only did he not come through, it was the opposite. Jimmy G. Honestly, we can go not come through, it was the opposite. Jimmy G. Honestly, we can go all through these, but Jimmy G, Cousins, Stafford.

You could be a point or point and a half difference between all these guys. I know I'm missing guys. I'll throw Baker in there for a minute if you want. Baker I didn't even have. I had Baker as a zero. But if you're a Niners fan, do you feel like you have any chance to win a Super Bowl with Jimmy G this year?

I felt good going into this week. I was like, you know, they kept showing his ankle. He's got a stronger ankle than he is. It's Ayuk from Arizona State. Maybe he's this speedster. He could stretch the field. He could be the guy, even though everybody else is getting hurt around him.

As far as him personally, no, I don't think. God, they were up by 10 with eight minutes left in the fourth quarter in the Super Bowl. But no, he's dropped. He's definitely dropped to lower than Lamar. What do you give him? 11? I would say like a 7. 7? Interesting.

I mean, I don't know how healthy he is. It seems like he's having continuing problems with that ankle but even before that i wasn't crazy about him here's a good one goff yeah i mean goff's lost him two games this year where it's just like he single-handedly lost them two games right he looked like the rookie today right like yeah honestly i know there weren't so many interceptions as it was like fumbles and stuff like that, but you feel like he should be able to recognize the pressure from the backside and stuff like this. It still goes on and probably drive Sean McVay.

Just absolutely batty. Just when he takes a step forward, like he doesn't seem to be able to string two good games together. It's why I took the bears last Monday night against them and lost. Cause the bears can't do anything offensively, but you just feel like if it's the right defense in the right scheme, whatever, Goff's going to fall apart.

And that Miami game today, he could have had more turnovers. Like Miami dropped a pick. The guy was on the ground. He caught the pick. And then when he landed on the ground, he kind of like flung it up. But Goff really could have like six turnovers in that game. I have Goff like a six out of 20 on that one.

So funny. These are guys that were in the Super Bowl. I know. They just had a one-one. Garoppolo and Goff, six out of 20. There does seem like a little bit of the league has figured out the limitations of some of these guys that I do wonder if that plays in.

Flores was the same guy who beat him in the Super Bowl for the Pats and just completely stymied him. It was the same thing. It's constant pressure coming from his backside. They were over and over again just trying to get at him from behind because they clearly see something

and just make him uncomfortable. And then he fell apart. I mean, wouldn't you take Burrow outside of anyone in the top five? Well, I wanted to get to that. Because I got, I mean, wouldn't you take Burrow outside of anyone in the top five? Well, I wanted to get to that. Because I got, I mean, Cam, I don't know if we're still in COVID Cam territory, if it's Cam, but the Patriots almost beat Buffalo today by not letting him do anything.

It was just QB draws and short passes. And just they were determined, like, you're not throwing a pick today. Our entire game plan is that. And so I would have him like five or six, right? You were down on your team in that game. I thought they, like, total yards. They were right there. Like, Bills had 190 rushing.

Pats had 188. Allen went for 154. Cam went for 174. I get it. You don't have confidence in him winning a Super Bowl this year for sure. But is COVID a real thing in terms of what it does to football players? That's why I'm being – I think he gets an incomplete. The way he's played the last couple of games,

I would say I'm like at a four with him. But I don't know with a COVID thing. He might be fine in two months. Does Zeke get an incomplete? Does Sean Payton get – I feel I see a difference in all these guys. I feel like Zeke is no good anymore.

Despite what, everything's happened to the offensive line and just weird decisions by coaches and I don't know. Maybe it should be a six-week quarantine.

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Four more QB confidence, guys. If you're a Bears fan, I would be at zero. Yeah. I was like, we have no chance. We can't win with these guys. Like basically the same way you feel about the Cowboys. But I would argue like you could even talk yourself into, well, Andy, when he comes back, you know, if he can get these receivers going, who knows if I'm a Bears fan, I've never heard Aikman madder at a football team than he was at the Bears. Did you listen to that game? Yeah, he gets so mad at the Bears.

Aikman, who's like normally pretty benevolent, was like, he was like furious at how slow they were, how bad their play call was. I couldn't believe it. It was like angry Troy.

It really was like they were running the clock out. They don't know that they had their two scores down. A lot of it was, was oh then there was a thing where the helmet screwed up right he wasn't hearing the signals in the helmet he was getting the play like with 11 seconds left on the play clock and then it was just a handoff anyway up the middle to montgomery who aside from the one big run can't gain more than three yards but uh yeah i'm look i'm not gonna die on the hill for Trubisky,

but I always prefer seeing the guy with the legs, right? Like even the new cheat tonight, I would rather see than Andy Dalton because he could scramble for six yards if they needed it at some point. But yeah, Foles, if you give him even one on a scale of one to 20, it's only because he's been there before.

That's the only reason you give him that. You're the original Trubisky truther. Sure, thank you. You're still there. I know you still have meetings like once every two weeks. At this point, I would put him back in because at least he can run around. But the coaching, play calling, all that

stuff is so bad. And they lead the league in most bummed out receiver shots when they just show the sideline and it's like there's alan robinson they they just had to calm him down right yeah he's like just put yeah alan robinson just had a fight with a gatorade bucket um yeah and then acheman's like you know they haven't gone to colt comet at all i'm like oh jeez this team i've just put together one drive with their stars. And I get it. He's one of six tight ends that they have on the roster. But it's ugly to watch.

Those 15 play drives that end up with a field goal that either goes in or doinks off. And they have five wins. They could be in this, right? Eight or nine gets that seven seed. Think about that OT. They got to stop. They made the Saints punt.

The Bears come back down. They have a piece of shit drive. Give the Saints the ball back, basically, at midfield, and then game's over. But it was yet another garbage win for the Saints, I thought. I have yet to be impressed by a Saints game. I know they're banged up. They know Thomas, know Sanders.

You know what I love the most with them is when they put Taysom Hill in, and every announcer across the board hates it. Hates when he takes a snap. They're're like that is a waste of a play like that all their guards are gone they're like that's whether it's Collinsworth or Aikman I think Romo's in one it's like don't waste what are you doing there like that guy used to be excited we should talk about him being the backup I thought there was a minute that we were going to see Jameis I thought for a second it was like oh my, I thought he was one drive away breeze today before seeing him. But then they got to like 13 and 16

points. Like, all right, leave him in. I would have loved it. A couple more. Where are the Bills fans with Josh Allen right now? I don't know. Scale of one to 20. Because I'll tell you this. The Pats, they basically were like,

we're not going to really rush you. We're going to keep people back. We're going to put just a bunch of D-backs out here and you're going to have five or six seconds and we don't think you're going to make the right decisions. We think they were D-backs. And we think this is going to work. We're not sure if they were D-backs.

Whatever they were. It played the position, but yeah. Yeah. They were just like, Josh, you do your thing. We don't think you can beat us. And he really had, he was like brain locked by it. It was weird. And he couldn't scramble either because they wouldn't let him do that.

And they really kind of shut him down. Well, after three games, I would think most Bills fans and some other crazy people thought Josh Allen was a 16 or 17, probably on your scale. But it is dipping, boy. It's about 10 or 9, and he's very, very fortunate to be in a division that he's in, that he might not even end up winning. I'm with you.

I think he's a 9. Do you regret having him for $1 in our Keeper League but not shopping him? I should have gotten rid of him. You're right. Another bad decision. Last one, DiNucci. Now, but not chopping them. I should have gotten rid of them. You're right. Another bad decision. Last one, DiNucci. Now, you can go negative. You can go under zero if you want.

You're going to negative seven? I want to wait to see if he can handle the Steelers' defense first. I mean, it's a great story, Al. Seventh round pick out of James Madison. What's a great story? It's embarrassing for Dallas. On TV. I have to say

I haven't been so this disappointed in a non-athletic Italian on Sunday night since the Sopranos finale. I really haven't. I was so bummed out. Like, what am I watching here? Fade to black already. I thought

the Cowboys running all those trick plays was hilarious they ran out they ran out in the first quarter mccarthy had like 12 and a cocktail napkin he's like run cocktail napkin number six right yeah the triple lateral yeah but it was smeared with marinara sauce so he couldn't even read it at the end what does this say should they just let mccarthy drink during games? Should he have a bottle and a brown bag and he's just swinging from some mystery liquid?

At one point, he thought there was a bad holding call and he chucked his play chart on the ground and he's like, oh, shit. I got to pick this up now. I know. I got to bend over. Could somebody help me? Who is the worst Super Bowl coach in the last 20 years? Super Bowl winning coach.

Probably him. It's McCarthy, Peterson, Billick, or Kubiak. Those are your choices. Who is the second one? McCarthy, Peterson. Billick. Oh, Doug Peterson. I would say Peterson because it's pretty clear Frank rank was

carrying a lot of the water that season. I'll do respect to Doug, but the stuff they do game to game is it. Did you see that stat? They're like, here, the Eagles are four and 12, four for 12 on fourth down conversions this year. Yeah. He's kind of trying to keep their mojo from the Superbowl season, but that's what anyone will remember.

Yeah. It seemed to limit everything. Yeah. Well, I will remember. Yeah, it seemed two-point conversions. To limited success. Everything. Yeah, well, I got one. Let's talk about our teams really quick. Your team, which we cannot cross off. What are you talking about? Amazingly. No, we can't. Can't cross them off. Not in that

division. I'm not crossing anybody off. You're crazy. Your team right now... Why am I crazy? I don't know. Here are the standings. Philly's 3-4-1. Washington's 2-5. Dallas is 2-6. The Giants are 1-6.

Can't cross anyone off. Wentz is a train wreck. I have a different way of looking at it. I look at the schedule. I'm like, oh, we have two wins. We need three wins. All right. No, we're not getting a three.

Oh, it's December. We're not at three. That's how I do it. I try to look at it that way. But look, my son's a big Cowboys fan. He comes in there and he's cursing his head off at the game. I was like, listen, calm down, whether it's the new Chi or this Garrett Gilbert or Dalton comes back. None of these guys, if we were lucky enough to somehow win the division, is going to Tampa and beating Pat Mahomes in the Super Bowl. He's like, I get it, but we have to beat the Eagles. What's better than beating this shitty team beating the Eagles?

And I'm like, yeah, well, I'm numb to all that, too. I'm numb to all the rivalries. Well, I hit that point with the Pats. I bet against the Pats today. You did, right? Yeah, I hit that point with the Pats. I bet against the Pats today. You did, right? Yeah, I did. I took the Buffalo Moneyline and put it on a few different bets because I just don't think the Pats are good.

You were scared a little bit. A little bit scared at the end. I wasn't scared. I was scared of... Well, it became a no-lose because it was like, wow, if we win this at OT, who knows? You start going there. But the revelation pretty much in the last three or four games

is Damian Harris, the running back. Sure. Who I just think has been a monster. And they, for some reason, won't just let him carry the ball 30 times. But they were doing this really crazy run, run, run, QB, draw, short pass, run, QB, draw, short pass. And nothing was eight yards down the field.

And Buffalo just couldn't figure it out. That game made me lose so much respect for Buffalo as a contender. I know it's like, all right, maybe you can't get up for this. But I find it hard to believe they couldn't get up for the Patriots who've kicked the shit out of them for 20 years.

So it's not like they let up in the game. I just don't think they're very good. By the way, a lot of people don't think that, so I'm late to the party, but I don't think they're very good. They're not that late. Something happened to their offense. Three games before today, they didn't reach 20 points.

Today, it was a chore reaching 20 points against a Patriots defense that got pushed around last week. You know, you start thinking, which game is real? Okay. I took the points. I was like, this is going to be similar to the Patriots team that showed up against the Chiefs. You talk about a kitchen sink game.

If you believe in Belichick at all and doing something with no names and plugging and playing and it became more apparent that Edelman wasn't playing. Who else was out yesterday? When he scratched Gilmore and Duggar, I thought they were throwing the game away. I really did. Because those have been two of their best players on defense.

It's not like they have a good front seven. When they did that, I was like, oh, we're throwing the game away. And yet the line never moved. It stayed at, what was it, at four, four and a half? Yeah, it was four and a half. I thought it was going to go to six this morning. It didn't. But I thought they were throwing away because they had the Jets next week.

And, you know, you win that, you're three and five. And then Baltimore, Sunday week 10, Sunday night would be the kitchen sink game. But you're right. They would be the kitchen sink game. But you're right. They made it the kitchen sink game. And it wasn't enough. And it's weird. I think both teams should feel bad. The Pack should feel bad because it was like Buffalo didn't play well.

We had that game. We blew it. And Buffalo has got to be thinking to themselves, what the fuck are we? If we had lost that Rams game, which we should have, that leads us to the big story. Which one? We talked about it last week on this podcast.

Miami, 6-1 to win the AFC East. You love it. Did you step in or you didn't step in? I did. I did a little bit. It was 6, it was plus 580 or something. I was like, let's get in on this. They haven't lost to Buffalo, though, right? They did lose to them.

Yeah. And look, it was a 2011 Tebow performance by Tua. Yeah. Just being involved was somehow worth 20 points, but he didn't really do anything. I actually thought he looked pretty bad. 93 yards, two rushes, no yards. I guess he had a touchdown pass in there. They didn't ask him to do anything,

right? He couldn't. All the defense was making all the big plays there. 12 for 22, 93 yards. They had 55 yards rushing. How did they win that game? They had 148 total yards of offense. Here's how they won that game. They were down 7-0, and

they scored 28 points on two defensive touchdowns at a special teams touchdown. Yeah. And Goff was just repeatedly giving the ball to them. And, you know, it was crazy. Actually, a friend of mine was over for the first half, who's a Dolphins fan. And he was going bonkers.

But it wasn't the game that, you know, if you're a Dolphins fan, you're like, two is going to come out, short passings, a scramble, they're not going to be ready, and it was like their defense won it. Flores is, I think, a coach of the year candidate now.

Right. Four and three, this team, they've completely overhauled it in the span of a year and eight games. And the crazy thing is, they have both Houston picks in the first and second round and eight games. And the crazy thing is they have both Houston picks in the first and second round next year. That's right. And those Houston picks, it's like,

what do you do if you're Houston? You can't tank. You don't have your pick anyway. You're going all out. And they're going all out. They can't win anyway. They got a second back, right? The second round back, Houston eventually.

Yeah, in one of those trades. Yeah, in the Hopkins trade. Not the David Jones. Was it the David Jones? Yeah, that's the one they got a two back. Houston eventually. In one of those trades. Yeah. The Hopkins trade. Not the David Jones. Was it the David Jones? Yeah. Yeah. That's the one they got a two back. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't know. I mean, again, the Rams had 92 offensive plays to 48 for Miami. I wanted to see. I don't want to get ahead of ourselves, but it's two against Kyler next week. And I would have loved to have been like, oh, two is good. I saw a lot of them. He ran for 93 yards, but

we're still the verdict's out. They had a lot of trouble blocking the Rams. And the Rams, it's weird because it's not like they've been awesome this year. San Francisco did a job on them. So right now the Rams are 5-3. But

yeah, San Francisco put up 24 on them. Buffalo put up 35. But sometimes you watch the Rams and you're like, oh my God, how does anybody complete a pass against this team? They're double teaming Donald and he's still

getting to the quarterback right away. So it was weird. I would have liked to have seen a scenario of that game where Tua had to make plays, but they basically were just up 18 for two hours. Didn't matter. Yeah. I mean, and to think about, like you said, the game started with basically a stripped sack, right? With Donald on Tua. And then for him to not have to do anything after that is pretty amazing. Seattle was the big winner today, right? In that division, we saw San Francisco, you got Jimmy G's out. Kittle walked off limping. Like, all right, maybe they've just done all they can.

We saw what we did with the Rams. Beatable, for sure. And Seattle looked tough. They looked, like, physically tough. Can you imagine if they played defense like that every week? And Dunlop was not even in the lineup yet. So that was a big game. They needed that game.

Yeah, that was their first good all-around game. And Metcalf's the best receiver in the league now, right? He's like, screw that. I had that touchdown call back in overtime last week. I'm a man, and I'm separating myself from these children. He's great. Back in overtime last week, I'm a man, and I'm separating myself from these children. He just, yeah. He's great. Ross is on pace for 50 touchdowns, and they're right there.

They're the number one seed right now. So Miami's 4-3. Arizona next week. Chargers at Broncos, at Jets, home Cincy, home KC, home New England, at Vegas, at Buffaloets, home Cincy, home KC, home New England, at Vegas, at Buffalo. It's tough. Really, KC's the only really tough

one, though. If you really go through some of those names, like, oh, they're playing New England. It's like, guess what? New England's 2-5. At that point, New England might be playing Stidham. Right. At this and at that, it doesn't seem to matter anymore, except if you want to go warm weather, going to Buffalo,

they're going to Buffalo. Right. You said, right. So the thing, so if they're tied with Buffalo that last week that, you know, that'll be for the division.

If they're down a game, they could still, you know, tie them and do a whole tiebreaker thing. Yeah. And then you look at Buffalo who, I don't know. I'm not, I'm a whole tiebreaker thing. Yeah. And then you look at Buffalo who, I don't know. I'm not,

I'm not a huge fan of. Yeah. They could win or lose any, any game now. They're, they're somehow six and two. Wouldn't have, uh,

they feel like a four and four type team, but they have Seattle and Arizona next to chargers, San Francisco, Pittsburgh, and then Denver, San Francisco, Pittsburgh, and then Denver, New England, Miami. They played three NFC West teams out of four weeks. Will they be favored? Home,

Seattle, at Arizona? Would they be favored? Neither of those games. I guess we'll find out when we do Guess the Lines with Seattle. At Arizona, they're not going to be favored. So they could be 6-4 in two weeks. Quickly on the MVP,

because you mentioned Russ. Because we are at the halfway point. Yeah, we could talk about that. What's interesting about MVP is I think he's like the runaway

lead candidate now. He's in 26 TDs and 6 picks. He's 2,151 yards. He's going to be over like 4,500 yards and he has a chance for 26 TDs and six picks. He's 2,151 yards. He's going to be over like 4,500 yards, and he has a chance for 50 TDs. I'm trying to think as good as Mahomes has been

and all these guys and Brady in the past have we seen. We don't have the numbers because we're doing this Sunday night, but I think he was like minus 140 going into today. And so he could be minus 250 halfway through the year with guys having good years. The Mahomes stats are incredible too. So pretty amazing to have such a hefty number as a favorite for MVP.

Today was the first kick-ass Mahomes game. Yeah. But it was the Jets. Then I think Rodgers takes a step back because it doesn't seem like that team's... That team's a little smoke and mirrors-y, but I would have him in there. Brady's kind of lurking just because if Tampa's the one seed, who knows?

And then after that, Aaron Donald and Kyler Murray, I think, are the only other two. You can make a case, Aaron Donald. Danucci's hovering. I don't want to say. I don't want to put him in there. But yeah. And my guy, Joe Burrow.

That's it. Those are the, yeah, it can't be Burrow because you have to be like a top seed still to, to. I just, I just like giving him credit. It's fun. He's great. He's really good, man. Yeah. Let's take a break. I want to talk about him and a couple other things. At Pennzoil, we have one job, pioneering a motor oil so advanced, you don't have to think about your motor oil. Instead, you can think about how your engine sounds, how your stomach feels as the RPMs

build, how your wheels hug the curves, and how with the Pennzoil Platinum up to 15-year, 800,000-kilometer protection guarantee, your adventures will be many. Pennzoil. Long may we drive. Available at your local Canadian tire. Enrollment required. Keep your receipts. All right, so Joe Burrow, we crossed off the Bengals. We got shit for it, too. Our four cross-off teams were Jets, Jags, Bengals, Texans. And the Bengals win today. And it wasn't just that they won. They controlled the entire

game. Tennessee, who good offense, but I think people were kind of on to their defense being fraudulent. And I had them in million dollar picks. I had them in the long shot parlay of the week, the Bengals. They were five and a half.

I thought at the very least they could cover that. But, you know, when you have a bad defense, I just feel like somebody like Burrow, that's a perfect underdog matchup. But you look at Cincy now, they're 2-5-1. The problem

for them, I still feel like we did the right thing with the cross off because at the very least, I still feel like we did the right thing with the cross-off because at the very least, I think 10-6. 10-6 gets the 6-seed in the AFC, so 7-seed would have to be 9-7. They would have to be 9-6-1, basically,

to get that 7-seed. It's a long way to go. They'd have to go 7-1? Yeah. How many Steelers and Ravens are on there? Two more, at least? Two more. Yeah. And they still have seven and one. Yeah. And how many, how many Steelers and Ravens are on there? Two more at least. Yeah. Two, two more.

Yeah. It's tough, but fun, fun as hell to watch. I mean, I don't even know how to explain it. He's as poised as anyone could be while getting just, he's just getting destroyed.

But here's the thing. And he's getting false start penalties too. Like, it's like, it's not only just sacks coming through. He's getting false start penalties, too. Like, it's like it's not only just sacks coming through. He's starting first and 15 a lot of times.

It's like it's like the neighbor kids are pelting him with eggs and he's just like, just I'll take it. Here's your candy. Go long. He's really he's

he's making like how long do we wait for Tyler Boyd to be a good receiver? Right. Under so many years. And and this guy Higgins from Clemson,

just all these guys. Auden Tate, he's making stars out of these guys. It's weird. Well, his line blocked better for him today. And I didn't know... I watched some of that game. I didn't watch a ton of it, but I like to go over there when he's on offense, watch a couple plays. His line

looked good. And then there were articles about it after. So I knew it wasn't crazy. I guess some guys came back. It's healthier. They've been able to practice together and he went out of his way to be like, that line was great today. And when he has protection, he looks unbeatable. I mean, he honestly looks like a top five quarterback. He's unbelievable. He could take a nine yard shotgun shotgun position right like just to like not many guys could do it but maybe he could get away with it somewhere between a punt and an extra point yardage away from the center and uh just to avoid some of those rushes but you're right the tennessee didn't pressure him too much and these guys make great plays for him too all those guys

so we had so they were a tease parlay buster today. And then we also had Dalvin Cook, who's now done this twice, where he's just obliterated whatever parlay and tease anybody had with there. And those two alone blew up a lot of action today, I felt like, right? Definitely. And Dalvin Cook, probably for fantasy owners and non-PPR, I think he had like 44 points or something. But he was just like, screw this. I'm not putting this in Cousins' hands. I'm back.

Maybe the Packers are better than us. Maybe we're going to lose 11 games, but we're going to win this game. I mean, he just, like a man, he just dominated them. But yeah, you're right. There were underdogs all over the, underdogs went 4-5-6, 8-3 against the spread. And most of

those covered outright. The Pats didn't cover. Won outright, you mean? Yeah. Yeah, because And most of those covered outright. The Pats didn't cover. One outright, you mean? Yeah. Yeah, because the Dolphins won outright. Minnesota, Cincinnati, Vegas, Miami, Pittsburgh, and Denver. Jesus, Denver won.

Yeah. Right, and Chicago almost won. Chicago almost won. Could have won. So if we're going half-season MVPs, Wilson's the quarterback. Yeah. The running back is between Cook and Kamara and Derrick Henry.

I would probably say Kamara just because that team's doing the best, but Cook's ceiling in a couple of these games has been out of control. He was out of control in that group. He really was. He single-handedly beat them. Then receivers, probably Metcalf.

I would have as the lead receiver, right? I have to see. So Michael Thomas is out of it, right? Well, yeah,

he's definitely like four games. Yeah. I feel like we're missing someone though, right? And the wide receiver. Well,

Devante is in there, right? And Metcalf, Devante, we are missing somebody hold on I'll get it Hopkins

Hopkins yeah he was off this week yeah it's really got to be them I mean Julio Jones takes time off Justin Jefferson was great for a few weeks didn't do anything here but there are a lot of receivers and this is what kills me because the Cowboys can't get rid of can't get rid of Mari Cooper who I think he only had like one reception today.

Oh my God. They can't trade Gallup. They can't trade Cooper because of mostly because of the terrible contracts, but also because there are four good wide receivers in every draft. Right. And some of the Patriers, if you had to say team X is winning the NFC North, who would you say? Because you would say the Packers would be the default pick, right?

Yeah. I don't trust that. Packers fan. I know, you know, they had a lousy game that he was off today. I know he was off against San Francisco too, but 85 penalty yards.

Okay. Five for 11 on third down. I just didn't see it. Not, not San Francisco, Tampa Bay when they lost. I don't know. I still say, why, who are you putting there? Lions? Bears?

I can't believe I'm saying this. I do wonder what would happen if the bears put your biscuit back in. Right. Because they're really not that far off from being a really good team. And even if they had a quarterback who made all the same dumb throws Nick Foles has been making the last few weeks, but at least could run around and give them four extra first downs. Yeah.

Yeah. And then there was some sort of redemption story with him. I'd rather have that than from what I've seen from Foles. And by the way, the fact that he took a Super Bowl from me just gets worse every quarter watching him just suck. I honestly would throw him back in.

Unless Nagy must be like, I'm just completely out on him. He must hate him. Unless he's motherfucking him on the sideline the whole time. Under his breath just like saying shit but i don't know yeah make one of those three sevens make one of those empty drives a field goal and you're right in it you win these games you probably six and what are they that five they still have five there's like five and two oh man five and three yeah five and three would

you trade for him if you were d? For who? Trubisky? Yeah. If it was like a third round pick? I don't know because I kind of do think, everything I was reading says Trubisky has to get a two. You got to give up a second round pick. But everybody, but even like- It's a number two.

It's not a second round pick. A number two. Yeah, right. The GM has to make a number two and mail it to the Bears. Let's see it, McCarthy. McCarthy's like, I got this. I know you got it in you. I just had some chili.

Jesus Christ. Hey, we got to talk about the Chargers quick. This week in horrible Chargers losses. This one was, that game was a turnoff. Yeah. It was literally like, I'm out. I'm not even following what's going on. I just, I went inside my house.

I left all my TVs and I'm like, I'm just going to watch the Saints game and toggle to the Seattle game during the timeouts. And then all of a sudden it was like, and it's a 24 to 17 game. I broke my promise to myself. Remember I told you they're my favorite team. That's not my favorite team. Right. But I want to really root for them. And if they lose, it's like, oh, well, I broke my promise to myself. Remember I told you they're my favorite team. That's not my favorite team, but I want to really root for them.

And if they lose, it's like, Oh, well I broke it. I bet on them. I bet on them. Moneyline. And it was so,

well, you know me, this Denver team just kills me. If I'm on them, I'm on them. The first five weeks I get off them. This was not a Denver Bronco type game. Come on.

Drew Locke was, what did, there was a broken tackle with Lindsay's touchdown. Then there was like another guy fell the other, the next touchdown and two pass interference penalties on that last drive. And I love Herbert. I love rooting for him, but he does throw that pick.

He had 23 picks in college. You know, he's like a better pro player than he is college in terms of field awareness and stuff like that. But that was miserable to watch. I mean, they have four weeks in a row that they blew a 16-point lead. Four weeks in a row. And they lost two overtime teams.

Two overtime games to New Orleans and KC. They're two and five. They might be a cross-off team. We'll get to that in a second. But they really could be like six and one. Yeah. I thought we could both do our imitations of Anthony Lynn on the

sidelines after things have really gone wrong. I'm going to go first. Unfortunately, the listeners can't see this, but we'll put it on the list. He does. He puts his hands out and he bulges do you want to give it a whirl just for the social there is there is a little fred sanford in there if he doesn't clutch his heart but yeah he does look to the skies maybe a little i don't know what's going on there it's it's basically a mannequin because it's the same expression each game as it goes wrong he just seems shocked horrified

he can't believe it doesn't know what's going on yeah he is i i said this was a bust but i thought if anthony lynn and dan quinn had a kid and then i tweeted this and i posted a picture of anthony quinn and i must be just too old because uh oh, nobody got it? That was like 18 likes or something. Yeah, it wasn't that. But I mean, really, four games, 16 plus. I feel bad for him because I kind of fell in love with him over hard knocks. But this is unforgivable. He's clearly a good coach for 50 minutes.

He just, those last 10 minutes really flummox him for some reason. But it's funny. I read a piece afterwards where he's like, I take complete accountability for what happened. That game's on me. That was my fault. I just, one time I want to see one of these coaches just be like, I take no accountability. I don't know what the fuck we're doing.

We're up by 17 points. Just tackle and don't fuck up the game. What are we doing? These guys have played football before, right? Yeah. We had over 200 yards. We shouldn't lose that game.

We just blew it to Drew Locke. How is this my fault? I'm just standing in the sidelines with a headset. These fucking assholes. You can't tackle anyone.

I'd like to hear that. Yeah, you're right. We should get him on. Let's get him on the podcast. What do we feel for you, Anthony? I'll tell you this. The coach taking responsibility for the loss has never worked.

It's not like the players are like, oh, I like this guy. He took responsibility for the loss. If anything, it's like a get out of jail free card for them. Well, but also they're probably getting screamed at in the locker room and they're like, hey, what about you were just on the thing in the press conference? You said it was your fault. Why are you yelling at us? But yeah, no, I

think he actually did take responsibility. That's what reminded me of the school my daughter used to go to through eighth grade, the Willows. They had this thing,

the Willows way in sports where if you like blowing out somebody, you had to like basically stop trying. Oh. So her first basketball game,

fourth grade, I think we're up like 20 to 2 or something and then they basically said hey you have to stop shooting we have too big of a lead and we're playing on the road and so they you know these kids are like 9

and so now it's like yeah you can't shoot it's like they barely know what's going on so we start turning the ball over the other team comes back we end up losing by 1 everyone's crying the way home it's like ah it's Willow's losing by one. Everyone's crying the way home. It's like, ah, it's the Willows way, which fucking drives me crazy, by the way. But the Chargers remind me of the Willows way. It's like, hey, we're up 17.

Herbert, can you, you know, maybe don't throw any deep balls anymore. We don't want to rub it in. It's like, just finish them. You're up 17. Herbert's like throwing BBs all over the place. Finish him. Finish him. I'm still in. Herbert's like throwing BBs all over the place. Finish him. Finish him.

I'm still in on Herbert. I am too. I love. I like Burrow more, but I love both. Oh, you kidding me? You give me Herbert over any of those names you mentioned. Jimmy G, Cousins. I would love having someone like this.

He was 29 for 43. Three touchdowns. He's still the man, I think. I think this draft was unbelievable. I actually bought some football cards for my son for his birthday. The Panini, the Mosaic Blaster Box or whatever the hell it was because it's got

the Borough Rookie, you have Tua, you have Herbert, you have Clyde, you have all the receivers like Jefferson and C.D. Lamb and Judy and all those dudes. Yeah, Rieger. It's like freaking loaded. So we bought a couple boxes of them.

Crossoffs. I don't even – where are we now? How many do we have? Right now, so far, we've crossed off the Jets, Jags, Bengals, and Texans. I'm going to make the case incredibly for the Chargers to be our next crossoff. I mean, are we really not going to cross the Cowboys off until like week 13 because of this? I mean, it just goes beyond.

Two games back. Chargers. You say Chargers? Well, I think the candidates Chargers and the Pats. Oh, come on. Pats are 2-5 we didn't do the Giants at least the Giants

have one win I mean we could if they're 1-7 after tomorrow that's or is that just an automatic we assume they're going to lose to the Bucks tomorrow right so the Giants would be 1-7 yeah let's cross them off I'm good with that we just jinxed them the Giants would be 1-7? Yeah, let's cross them off. I'm good with that. Okay, we just jinxed them now.

Giants have beaten Tampa. Yeah, that's the cross off. The Giants are the way to go. I can't be the only one who has the Bucs in the final piece of some sort of giant parlay or tease tomorrow night. No, I got you. I'm with you. Everybody else on the planet has that, right? Eagles and

somebody else? I will get to it, but I think they look ahead a little bit. I don't know that they cover that game. They're playing New Orleans Sunday night. I did well today, but the last big bet I had was Buffalo, Philly, Tampa, Moneyline Parlay. It was basically even odds. Good.

So all Tampa has to do is win. The smart move would be to take the Giants plus like 14. But as people listen to this podcast now. No, there's no smart moves. We don to do is win. The smart move would be to take the Giants plus like 14. But as people listen to this podcast now. No, there's no smart moves. We don't do smart moves. I'm thinking about Tom. Well, that was what week was that? Tom against Miami.

Kind of same situation. Many years ago, but we still remember it. He blew that game. Well, that was 2004. That was our worst. Was that that long ago? Oh, yeah. We didn't have a podcast back then. Well, that was 2004. That was our worst. Was that that long ago? Oh, yeah. We didn't have a podcast back then.

Oh, man. We didn't deserve one. That was when we won that three-team teaser so many weeks in a row that I led my column with it, and then you got mad at me. Right, right. Because I think we lost like four days later. Because it was like, even like, I led with some anecdote about talking about the three, three team teaser. Don't talk about at lunch and the waitress overheard and was like,

are you talking about the, how the three team teasers keep winning? Oh my God. Even the fucking waitress is winning on these. That is fight club. It was great. Remember that though? Like 11 straight weeks.

We went on those. Yeah. And so that was like week 14 or something, right? The week. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

All right. Well, this one, he remember he was up 10 with the ball with five minutes left. Yeah. Right. We won the Superbowl that year. And I still like, I'm still scarred by that season because that Monday night, so much, so much money. Uh, all right.

We're going to, um, we're going to take a break and do guest lines. All right. We use FanDuel Sportsbook for our guest the lines. It's a place where you can find same game parlay. So many different combinations. You can play player props, point totals, money lines. The best part, FanDuel will refund the first same game parlay you lose on any NFL game each week up to $10. That means you can bet a different parlay risk-free. For instance, Tampa Giants, you can bet Rob Gronkowski. Remember him? Former Patriot.

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All right, guess the lines. Tuesday night. Biden, Trump. Can you guess the line? What is it? I think I said, is it minus 220, Biden? No, I got, I have

minus 185 Biden plus 150 Trump. All right. Listen, we did all we can. If Kanye doesn't get in, what are we going to do? What more can you ask of us? Have you looked at some of the state-by-state ones? Yeah, I did. There's some good ones in there, like Michigan and Pennsylvania.

I might be sending you an email with some thoughts. All the ones I lost in 2016. I remember those states. Yeah, winning back. You lost Pennsylvania by 50,000 votes. Remember that one?

Those states are still, I thought they seceded. Wow, they're still there. Okay, we'll take a look. Thursday night, the 49ers, will it be Nick Mullins? Will it be Jimmy G?

They're home to play the Green Bay Packers. I have the 49ers by two and a half points. Oh, wow. I had Green Bay by four, and it's Green Bay by two and a half. Isn't it in San Francisco? It's in San Francisco. Jesus. What am I missing? Well, I don't know what you said. It might be Mullins. It might be Jimmy G.

Don't they care? Don't they not have a line until then or has it really gotten to a point where it doesn't matter? Is that some George Kittle stuff in there? I guess, but still don't have a line then. Packers have to be favored. I think this is where we see a little swoon here.

Four from the 49ers. I don't know. I back them as long as I can. I just don't think it's just too many injuries at some point, right? Yeah. It does feel like right around now, every year on this pod, we talk about the team that passed a point and overturned with injuries. And I haven't seen the full list and how long Kittle's out and stuff, but it seems like the Niners are very close to just like, hey, sorry, we've lost too many guys. We're not good anymore. They got guys that don't come back either. It's like, it's not like, you know, months before you're going to see some of these Well, that injury last week to Wilson was a really tough one because he annihilated the Patriots. Right. And he got hurt right at the end. They were up by like 25. And then

Tevin Coleman comes back this week. He gets hurt. And you can't use McKinnon the same way. Yeah. No, they don't have that one dude. And then your quarterbacks aren't doing great. I do like Ayuk though. I think that was a really good pick. He's fun. The wide receivers in this draft. I'm like Ayuk, though. I think that was a really good pick. The wide receiver's in this draft. Holy shit.

I'm trying to think what gets you angriest about football. Is that top three? Yeah, it's pretty far. You want an exciting playmaker. Yeah, of course. It's hard to complain after six Super Bowls, but it's just hard for me to believe we can't. Although, I gotta say,

they threw out all undrafted free agents today. Jacoby Myers and Bird were pretty good in that game. I saw that. What did he do? Kim couldn't always get the ball to them. Sunday marquee game. This is like a borderline marquee game, but this is

the best one available. The Colts are home for the Baltimore Ravens. Now, I will say, the Colts with Darius Leonard back, I do feel like that's one of those every team has an offensive guy like that. When they're not there, it's like,

that guy's out. This is important. People either take it seriously or not. They were a different team with him today. Were you on them today or Detroit? I was on Indy. I had the million dollar picks. Yeah. I ended up not betting it though. I stayed away.

I can't bet on Rivers. I just can't actually put money on him. And then like, so he was great today, right? Good enough. 262, three touchdowns, no picks. Yeah, but guess who had his annual injury today? Who was it? T.Y. Hilton? T.Y. I saw that he had like one. This is right around when he gets hurt

every year. It's like, oh, it's the end of October. It's time for me to get hurt. Right. So, yeah. I don't know how they do it. Yeah. This line is, well, you'll guess it, but I'm not in step with Vegas at all with the Indy lines. Really? I had

Colts by one. I think I'm wrong. Yeah, you are. I had Baltimore by one and a half. It's Baltimore by three. Okay. Could I win a week? You might win a week. Oh. All right. Let's do this. You're like Anthony Lynn. If by the end it gets to the Lions, you're just going to be going,

what happened? Gambling God screwed me. Yeah, the Ravens well I don't know this is a whole different conversation if Lamar doesn't win this game right the tackle going out is a big deal

I think he was like one of the five best tackles in the league I admittedly am not an expert on online play but I judge all my opinions on line play by how excited the announcers are to talk about the tackle or the center. Right, right, right.

Yeah. You know, when I had Howie Long on two weeks ago, he talked about Dwight Stevenson for like three straight minutes. It was just great. He was talking about how he was by far the best center ever. I was so into it.

The people who actually understand line play, it's so fast. Like you and I would have no idea what the fuck is going on. But these guys are like, Stephen, he would do this and do that. You're like, oh, really? I watched him for 12 years. I'm starting to understand it now that I root for the

Cowboys and see that we have all this line. Yeah, I'm starting to kind of get it now. The watchables. We got three. Bill's home for the Seahawks I have man I like the Seahawks I'm gonna bet the Seahawks in this game

I'm just telling you now I have the bills by two wow what is going on with you I'm off again Seahawks by two and a half I had Seahawks by one wow I'm just off to a bad start. Well, how does Buffalo stay

in that game? And from what you've seen, they can't they're not going to score enough to catch up. And I think Seattle's just a better version of Buffalo, right? Yeah, much better. I blew it. Who knows? I don't know. Maybe the travel.

It won't mean as much probably to Seattle. They just came off some division games. Maybe it's a trap. Is Jamal Adams going to be back for that? That's a good question. They could use him. Chiefs are home for the Panthers. I don't know what to make of this Panthers team anymore,

but I've lost money. I lost money on them last Thursday. They were terrible. I think Atlanta got in the red zone like six times. Carolina got in the red zone once. Teddy Two Gloves was just horrible. I don't know if it was the weather or what was going on. Well, he got...

I mean, quarterbacks got smashed this week. Oh, he got knocked, too. He was bad before he got hit, though. He was, but he shouldn't have come back. They should have let that time come back. He shouldn't have come back. Finish it off. I mean, what other quarterbacks got just absolutely crunched?

What did I say? Oh, Tannehill. No, it wasn't a quarterback. It was Humphreys, right? Yeah, there were some plays where the guy shouldn't be in the league anymore after the hits. But anyway, go on. Do you want to do your 20-second rant on how Russell Wilson cheat?

Or was that Hench or was that you in the text today? How Russell Wilson cheat? He cheats on his slide? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He goes to slide and he scurries for the extra. He gets the extra two yards. Right. And knowing the guy wouldn't hit him.

Lamar does that too. Russ is smart about it, at least. Lamar tiptoes the sideline to a point where, and the Steelers got busted for it at least once. It was almost going to be twice today for a late hit, but you shouldn't really be allowed to do that. I have Chiefs by nine and a half over the Panthers. Oh, I had 11 and it's 12 and a half. Wow.

Good, good, good. Good, good, good. Here we go. 4-0. Jesus. That's a teaser game. They don't lose. That seems too high.

That's all right. Is McCaffrey back for that game? He was almost going to play this week. So I imagine he's back for week nine. By the way, the Chiefs fake punt against the Jets. You talk about, what did you call it, the Willows? That's opposite of Willows. Anti-Willows way?

Yeah, it's anti-Willows. Fake punting against the Jets, so you're supposed to whip by three touchdowns. I think the Chiefs, my sense from them in that game was they really wanted to win by a big score from a confidence standpoint, right? Yeah. They were not interested in pulling that game out by the skin of their teeth.

They wanted a big-ass score and Mahomes to get stats. They took a bunch of shots downfield. Yeah. It's a shitty team that you think plays with more pride. They hear somewhere that... I mean, everyone on that roster must have known they were a 19-point underdog, right? 20 points. Didn't matter.

They were handing off with 40 seconds left down 26. Jets. Barely watchables. We're there already, huh? Yeah, we're there already. Got five barely watchables.

Well, okay. There's one that, yeah, okay. Wow, what one do you think is more than? It's going to be a boring game probably, but Chicago and Tennessee is two five-win teams. I'm sorry. The Bears are barely watchable. I got you.

Watch that offense. By the way, David Montgomery, for somebody who seems like he should be good, does anybody have less breakaway speed than that dude? That guy had a touchdown today and he got caught from behind by like a middle linebacker. Right. Because they're not allowed to score. He has no jets. Right.

You think they're not allowed. They're willows weighing it. Yep. All right. The barely watchables. First one. Falcons home for the Broncos. Feels like a field goal game. Falcons by three. I said four and it is a full four and a half. game. Falcons by three. I said four, and it is a full four and a half. Vegas.

Killing me. Pretty good. Now, the Falcons probably shouldn't ever lay any points, but Denver, that was their Super Bowl win, right? What the hell do we expect from this? I don't know. Denver has moments. They have these quarter stretches where they seem like a good team.

And Locke is doing stuff. Herbert killed Locke for the first two hours of that game. And then all of a sudden, Locke was pretty good. Yeah. And they scored quick. A team that takes forever to score. And they went down quick. Three straight drives. Pretty good.

I don't mind i don't mind the weapons they have anything all right titans home for the bears i have the titans favored by four over the bears at home am i gonna if i run the table do i get like three wins i said six it's five and a half that's's too high. That's stupid. People should know what the Titans now. Let's just say after seeing that Titans defense, if Foles can't put up 17,

take a seat on the bench, right? That's enough. Back to our point on Trubisky though. This is the game to bring him back against a shit Titans defense. Exactly. I don't know. They don't want to swallow their pride, these coaches.

I'm hitting this one. Vikings at home for the Lions. The Vikings by one and a half. I said four, and it's three. You won that one, too. Yeah. I think you clinched. Yeah.

Let's do it. Let's do next week. Come on. One, two, three, four, five, six. Did you just clinched. Yeah. Let's do it. Let's do next week. Come on. One, two, three, four, five,

six. Did you just clinch seven? I think three, right? So Thursday game. Beautiful. Let's keep it going. So much candy this week that I'm not surprised.

I was terrible. There's an excuse. Um, yeah, this is a, well, I don't know. Uh, we don't trust Kirk cousins. We don't trust Kirk Cousins.

We don't trust Stafford. These are what, what put these on our confidence scale? Tens Stafford and Cousins. I mean, I like Stafford more than Cousins. Cousins got one of the all time garbage long TDs today. He liked it. It was like a dump off to cook. Right.

Right. Cook went for like 55 yards. Right. And then it's in the box. Here's like Kirk Cousins, 55-yard touchdown to Cook. We could have thrown that one. Raiders, Chargers. This is in LA.

I was off on this. For whatever that's worth. I have the Raiders by one over the Chargers. You're going to get this. Congratulations. I had Raiders by two and a half. I was so one over the Chargers. You're going to get this. Congratulations. I had Raiders by two and a half. I was so upset with the Chargers. It is actually

Chargers by one and a half. Oh, man. Anytime I'm this off on the lines, it means I'm going to get crushed on gambling. No, I don't think so. Just focus. Just do teasers. I'm telling you, I had too much candy. The Raiders today, I had them much candy. So the Raiders today,

I had them in million-dollar picks and bet on them. Baker in a windy day like that was some of the easiest money I think I've... I just was never worried about that game ever. Even when it was like 6-6, I was like, I got this. I'm not worried. Carl will have one drive and the game will be over. The Browns, what are they, five and three now?

Browns are, where do we do it? Yeah, five and three. I wouldn't be surprised if they have like one win left in them this season. Really? No, they played garbage teams. I looked at them. They have Jacksonville and the Jets and the Giants. Is that true?

Yeah. And they have Philly also and Houston. And then they have some monsters in their division still. So they could get eight, I think would be. All right, I'm going to go through it. Bi-week, Houston. But Houston's not tanking. They're actually trying to win.

You think so? Houston doesn't have their pick. But I heard they might trade all those receivers. Fuller could be gone tomorrow. Who's the guy, the speedster that the Patriots had for a year that is always 20 years old? The guy that Hench is still mad at? Yeah.

He's always like 16 years old every time anyone trades him. But yeah, Cooks, all of the... I don't know. I guess it depends on what they do with those guys. But Houston, who else? Jets, Giants, right? Houston, Philly, Jacksonville, Tennessee, Baltimore. Giants, Jets, Steelers.

Yeah. Giants, Jets. Yeah, you're right. They'll win a couple more. They stink, though, just for the record. Well, they had... Remember I told you they were crazy stats all along?

Like, Browns, only six drives today. Six drives! Fewest in any game in 30 years. The Raiders were doing the every play took 40 seconds thing. I'll be interested to see

what happens when Chubb comes back with them, though, because Hunt is great. I really enjoy watching him. To think that guy's a backup is ridiculous. But when Chubb comes back, they should just never let Baker throw ever. I would just have Chubb and Hunt as the quarterbacks.

Take it out of his hands. How much is Odell? Was Odell at the game? Did they show him? I mean, he must just love this. Didn't see him. Must love it. We have one more barely watchable, but it's your team.

So we'll take a break first. All right. Last barely watchable. The Steelers at Dallas. Could you really be a double digit underdog at home? I'm going to say yes. Steelers by 10 in Dallas. I said 11.

There's no line on the game. Why? I guess if Andy Dalton returns? I don't know. I think it's a trap game, though. Or whatever. A letdown game. Whatever you want.

I have an apology to DiNucci. I joked that the All the Right Moves guy was named DiNucci, but I think it was Sal Ducci. Sal Ducci? Sal Ducci. Well, you made up for it by sending me a picture of Dominic Di Danucci, but I think it was Sal Ducci. Sal Ducci? Well, you made up for it by sending me a picture of Dominic Danucci, right? Was he a WWF champion? I don't think he was.

I think he was like an... He was kind of a jobber, though, Dominic Danucci. But very hairy. He had a belt. You sent me a picture. I think that was at a regional territory, though. I don't think that was that movie. Hey, we have two Poopfecta games this week. First one is the Washington not professional football team.

They are home for the Giants, and I have Washington favored by three over the Giants. I had three also. It is three and a half. Didn't they play like two weeks ago? Didn't the Giants beat them by one point? I tried not to watch it two weeks ago. I tried not to watch it today.

I think they're good. Or this week. And then Houston's playing the Jags. I have Houston by, I guess like the trade thing is going to throw this off, but I have Houston by three over the Jags. I said three also. The trade will throw it off. Also, Mike Glennon starting

throws it off because it's five and a half. I was used in favor by five and a half. I guess Mike Glennon starting is the answer. Oh, because Minshew has the... Yeah, Minshew's been playing with broken feet for the last three years or something. Didn't we kind of not dislike Mike Glennon when he played for Tampa? I remember him being like, not awful, really tall.

Could see over the line and like a four foot neck. It was another one where like, how has Jameis not started a game yet? And we now have Mike Lennon. We have to do Chi with Mike Lennon. They have to understand. They have to pull them off the team. He's not,

I know, but he should just for, for, for the fun of football, he should be on a team. They should trade him. Before we get to the Sunday night game,

I forgot a watchables. It was Cards Dolphins in Arizona, which is actually a really good game. Really good. You could have said that was a borderline

marquee game. So I apologize. I just accidentally skipped over it. I have the Cardinals favored by four and a half over the Dolphins. That's exactly it. And that's what I apologize. I just accidentally skipped over it. I have the Cardinals favored by four and a half over the Dolphins. That's exactly it. And that's what I had.

It's four and a half. So we tied. I feel like you cheated this week. No, no, no. No, I didn't have any candy because I knew you were going to be hopped up here. As your pal Dave Damoshek points out, not as exciting to most people, but this is the greatest matchup of number one versus number one quarterback jerseys in the history of football.

He claims he's done the, the research and one on the Jersey versus one. This doesn't get better than this. One versus one. Yeah. They both have literally one, one. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, who are the other candidates? I don't remember. I don't remember any. I just take his word for it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, who are the other candidates? I don't remember. I don't remember any. I just take his word for it. I try to move on.

This is a nice spot for the dolphins. Yeah. If they're going to be, they'll probably be like plus, plus like one 80 plus one 85, something like that. You know, what's interesting about it is it might've worked to their advantage because

Arizona had two weeks off, right? They had to buy last week. you know what's interesting about it is it might have worked to their advantage because arizona had two weeks off right they had to buy last week there's no real tape on on two of doing this thing right because they only had like 48 plays so in a way this may have worked out obviously they have them in college and everything else the fear with the dolphins is they can't run the ball that well and they couldn't run the ball with Fitzpatrick really either. Right. So they're going to have to rely on Tua more than they did today if they're going to get to 10-6. Sunday night, Bucs-Saints. Really good.

Can we talk about how fucking stupid this all-time TD record thing is? Oh, it's going to keep going back and forth? They did the breaking news on the ticker that Breeze broke Brady's record. It's like, this isn't like the Intercontinental Championship where it's just like, hey, Triple H is the Intercontinental Championship again, or champion again, and we just go back and forth, and then this guy won, and that guy won.

Can we just, at the end of the year, see where we are? It's a 24-7 championship, right, where the belt has to be defended every week, whenever. Right. If there's a referee that follows you, you have to defend the belt, no matter what. So do you think every time, do you think they should have the stoppages or no?

Like a big ceremony? Like Bree's family should come out every time you did it again. Absolutely. Yeah, have the mayor come out. Brady's sons could come out every time he does it. Just every week. We just keep stopping. No, I think we should all agree.

It's just at the end of the year, we'll see who's ahead of who. And that's where we leave it. But they did the breaking news thing today. I thought somebody died. Breaking news. I'm like, oh my God, what happened? It's like Drew Brees is the new touchdown leader. Are you kidding me? Brady's going to pass him 24 hours.

Yeah. Yeah. There's handing out like Chevy Cavaliers to, uh, anytime the record's broken. So stupid. I will say it's going to be, uh,

by the time whoever ends up with the final version of the record, it's going to be way, it's going to be a hard one to break. Yeah. Like 600 touchdowns. Right. Not, not Kareem mask, but yeah, it's a it's that's a tough one that's good longevity in all those because even like you would say oh joe burrow could maybe if you got 30 you got 40 whatever

but he's already like 24 mahomes i guess would be mahomes is a possibility but he didn't even play his rookie year right you know so he's i don. It's going to be a hard one to break. Monday night. 600's a lot. That's 40 for 15 years, right? Right. When you can't get injured any year of this. Bucks, I had by six over the same time.

Four. It's only four. I think that's too low. Well, the Bucks are better than when they lost to them week one, right? Provided nothing stupid happens. Tomorrow, no one gets hurt. When the Bucs lost to the Saints, they came back. They could have won that game.

Michael Thomas was in the game. Drew Brees wasn't throwing three-yard pass. Saints just rely on Kamara so much. I don't know how you shut that guy down, and I don't in the game. Drew Brees wasn't throwing three-yard pass. Saints just rely on Kamara so much. I don't know how you shut that guy down, and I don't know the numbers. He seems like he's 80% of that offense. There was a great play. I can't remember if it was the end of regulation.

I think it was the end of regulation when they could run out the clock and then third down. And I had the Bears plus four in a parlay. You don't want that going overtime. I was just... I don't know what I was rooting for. I had the Bears in long shot parlay of the week. I wanted the Bears to get this stop.

And it's like, they're going to Camara. So they did this thing. He started to the right, and then he came fast to the left for like a quick swing pass. Remember? And Trevathan came flying up. He sniffed it out because he was basically spotting Kamara.

But it was like, you should just do that every play against the Saints. There should just be a guy assigned to him that everywhere he goes, this guy goes. Like, just play 10-on-10 with that guy against Kamara. Yeah, he had that outlet pass. That would help, I think. Maybe even two guys on him in case he'd make branches off for a wheel route or something.

Yeah. You know, one note on the Saints, that Harris is a fucking unbelievable kick returner. Oh, yeah. He is the best kick returner now, right? Who's better than him in 2020? I don't even think...

Nobody. I don't know. They do all those little things right, right? Like field position and everything, and they don't hold when they're running back. It's a bummer. The, you know, Hester, guys like that. I don't think he's on that level,

but he always seems to get like 20 yards. The other special teams thing that happened today was that crazy Zerloin. Zerloin. That was... The straight up pop-up kick. That was crazy. It seems like you got a better odds of recovering something like that

than you do these nonsense where you can't line up and just hit a wedge, right? Yeah. I think that's the way to do it. But he has... I mean, he's had like three of the craziest kicks this year. The onside kick against Atlanta. That 60-yard field goal that went in and out of the goalpost

twice before settling in the middle. And then the one you just explained. Yeah, he's the MVP. He's the only one that does anything on our team. You finally have a good kicker of the worst possible season. Greg DeLay. Pats, Jets, it's in New York.

This is a tough one for ESPN. I don't even know where you go here. What's your lead story in this one? The Jets? I don't know. where you go here. What's your lead story in this one? The Jets? I don't know. Have they covered this year? They have, right? They covered last week. Right. Your team is now 0-8.

Oh, wow. I didn't even think about that. We had a chance at the end there, too. I have the Pats by 5 at the Jets. I said 7.5, and it is 7. I don't think I half, and it is seven. I don't think I've been that bad against the Lions in a long time. What a thrashing.

I want two wins for this. 12 to four, something like that. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. I'm coming back. I'm one, seven, and one now on the year. Our bye week teams are the Bengals, Browns, Rams, and Eagles. Yeah. Which, I'll tell you, the Eagles fans needed a bye week teams are the Bengals, Browns, Rams, and Eagles. Yeah. Which I'll tell you, the Eagles fans needed a bye week from Wentz.

Yeah, no kidding. They needed a break. They needed just a week to regroup. It's, you know, like when a relationship's having trouble and the girlfriend goes away for a weekend with her buddies just to try to refuel her batteries. Wentz is a rollercoaster ride. And it's a rollercoaster that has like broken parts

on the actual ride. Did we do his number? Did we do his number for confidence? We did? Oh, I think we forgot. Did we? I mean, he's got like a five. Oh, I don't know.

Yeah. I still trust him more than Cousins, I think. Oh, he sucks too. All these guys suck. The thing with Wentz is there's something heroic how he won't give up the ball, but it's also like the single dumbest thing you can do as a quarterback

when he does it five times a game. Yeah. Where he has, I think, 12 interceptions plus God only knows how many more fumbles. Seems like he should be so much smarter than he is with the ball it's very strange all right it's time for parent corner brought to you by carmax america's number one used car retailer whether you're buying or selling our friends at carmax are on your side with the seven-day money-back guarantee at carmax you've got a full week to

decide if it's the right car for you or simply return it for a full refund no questions asked and if it's time to sell, stop by CarMax today to get a custom offer on your car, leave with payment in hand, or take a week to think it over. It's car buying and car selling the way it should be at CarMax. Yeah. Check them out today. CarMax.com. All right, Sal, you're up. All right. Big weekend, Halloween weekend. We went to the park with the kids. We spread out. We all had masks, but we spread out. We all had, the adults had bags and we all stood by a tree and had the kids walk to us. And it was,

you know, whatever. What are you going to do now? It's tough. So we're trying to make lemons out of lemonade. How does that go? It's the other way around. But anyway, I talked to my seven-year-old, my six-year-old's baseball coach. He's got baseball, but they don't even have games. They just have practice. And guess when the practices are? Sunday morning at 10. So that's on the West Coast.

That's exactly when football games start. So he's been going to practice. The cute thing is wearing the uniforms, right, and playing at that age. So I was like, all right, let him just practice with his friends. I have my wife drop him off. Our cousin Eric picks him up because our little cousin plays on a team with him. But it's just practice. So I run into the coach, and he's like, hey, Harrison like the best on the team last year. He's, he's hitting opposite field. Now everything's

opposite field and it's not as much power. He's like, are you teaching him anything? I'm like, no, I haven't thrown a ball to him in a long time. This is, but I didn't want to say that because I don't want to look like a jerk. I was like, no, he's just kind of doing his own thing, but I'll have a talk with him. So he gets home and I'm like, Hey, coach wants to work with you. Why aren't you hitting it up the middle? Like you, you smoke it up the middle. Every time we have a video of him, my friend, Harry, you know, Harry pitching to him, Harry taking one right in that noggin, uh, right up the middle, all his powers up the middle. And he said to me, he's like, well, I'm going to tell coach. You don't hit, you don't hit with me anymore. You don't pitch to me and you haven't pitched to me in months

because football is on Sunday. And I was like, oh, Jesus. I was like, I know I'm a bad father. Do we have to verbalize it? Can't you just hit up the box like you always do? Really? You're going opposite field to spite me so that we could have this conversation? So now I got to go to these practices.

So you think he's deliberately spiting you by going, I don't know what it is. He had no other answer to that. And I think he was saving it up so that we could have that, uh, that big, uh, sitcom moment where he screams at me and runs off to his room. What did your heel middle son do? Did he throw gasoline on the fire? He was sitting in the corner laughing and, uh, on his iPad. I might've been recording it. I actually could probably play it for you if I grabbed his iPad. But yeah, they don't like each other. And so now I got to miss the first hour of football on Sunday. Yeah, it's tough when you know you have a lot of limitations as a father,

but then your small child points that out. Right. I don't want to know. It's bad enough you've saddled me with Daddo Fatto as a nickname, and now this. It's bad enough you've saddled me with Daddo Fatto as a nickname. And now this. What's yours? You got a birthday boy. Did you spare him? Yeah, I was going to do a bigger one. So my son turned 13. He had his bed mitzvah. Yeah.

But I was thinking, so he was, this was 13 years ago, obviously. We thought he was going to was 13 years ago, obviously. Um, we thought he was going to be born on Halloween. I don't remember if I told this story on parent corner, my favorite horror movie. And one of my favorite movies ever is Halloween. And I was really excited that whole year when we found out like the due date, it's, ah,

it's going to be around October 31st, November 1st, like to have this Halloween baby. And so my wife went into labor like in the afternoon and, you know, she's trying to pass a small child out of her body, drugs, all that stuff. And I'm just like looking at the clock, like, Oh, three more hours to go. You think, you know, and I'm like, I have urgency. Cause I really wanted to be a Halloween baby. And he ended up getting born at three in the morning.

So he's November 1st. Oh, he's a Halloween baby. Make no mistake about it. And he turned out he was Michael Myers anyway. That's right. But it's so funny because they even watched the movie last night. He had like three friends over. I don't know how many times they've seen it.

But I was thinking, I think he has the single greatest birthday date. I know this is an atypical parent corner, but I think if you're picking- The day before Halloween? The night before? The day after. If you're picking any day at the 365, if you're a kid,

what is the single best day to have a birthday? It's November 1st. Because the Halloween and the birthday turns into this whole extravaganza. Plus I always feel bad for the kids who, especially when the younger ones, when they have the birthday, but it's not during the school year. You know, ideally like mine was mine's late September, which was great. Cause the kids are back in school. You're one of the first kids that have the birthday. Mine's first one in July. I never got it.

Yeah, you feel like you get no shine. For him, it's like every year, really since we started celebrating, it's been like this 72-hour extravaganza with candy and cake and all these things and his friends. And it's like Halloween's the greatest day ever. And then it's his birthday. And I was so jealous how it worked out for him. That's's like, Halloween's the greatest day ever. And then it's his birthday. And I was like, so jealous how it worked out for him. I mean, that's so funny. Yeah. Stepped in shit his

whole life. But, um, but so we were talking and he's like, do you remember all the birthday parties you had for me? And I'm going through it and I could only remember like five of the 12. And he like, couldn't believe that I couldn't remember all the birthdays. And then I'm like, I'm like bringing the wife over like, Hey, what do we do when Ben turned three? Neither of us could remember. I can remember like every Celtic playoff result for the, since like 1980, you'd be like, Hey, what happened in game six against the Hawks in round one in 2008? And be like, oh, yeah, we lost.

We should have won. Pierce blew a shot in the corner. And my son's like, what did we do on my three-year birthday party? I had no answer. But don't you have on your phone? You just go to the year and then you get the date. My phone only goes back to 2013. So we patched it together.

We could remember every birthday, but there was two where we were just kind of like, don't really remember it. Could you have told them anything? Like, yeah, you were a shark. Yeah, we had sharks. So that was my mistake. And we like to educate people on Parent Corner.

I just should have lied. Yeah, for your third birthday, you're really into the Simpsons that year. So we had this whole Simpsons thing. I don't think there are any pictures. I should have just made something up. Yeah, there's no CNN fact checker that's going to chase you down there. You're going to be all right.

No. The best one, I think we had a wrestling party one year. We had a Batman party one year, and we had a Michael Jackson party. It was like three years in a row. Each one was a home run. Yeah, that's so funny, Michael. You can't remember all of Archie's birthdays, can you? No way. We actually did this. My wife is

much better at it than I am because she planned it and everything. Even Halloween costumes. I tried to do that for the kids and that's tough to go 10 years back or more. Yeah, but lying is the way to go.

It's funny you say that he's got the best birthday. You might be right. My six going on seven-year-old might have the worst birthday, December 30th, because you have Christmas, right? And then you're exhausted from Christmas, right? So it's like, all right, dude, you just had 47 gifts, you know?

God bless you. You really need more on your birthday, December 30th. But then you get alive again for New Year's Eve and it's a party, not for him. And he's like, Whoa, what's going on here? So it's funny. He might have the worst. I would say, yeah, December 29th, 30th, 31st are the worst days. Cause yeah, not only is it right after Christmas, but also if sports it's the tail end. Yeah. You're basically like the youngest every year and whatever. Like if you're playing soccer in Southern California, you're the youngest person on the field for your age group.

Right. Every season, basically. You and your wife came to the hospital when Harrison was born. I remember. And another bad thing about it is I have a lot of money on these bowl games. Yeah. I had to put it on. And, you on. He was already born, but you came and Johnny Manziel, I think he was playing BYU and it was like one of those

51-48 games and I could not take my eyes off the screen. I didn't know if I had three or 14 kids at the time. Bowl season's bad. Sometimes you get overwhelmed and that was one of the times where there was gambling, you're having another child. I really got to plan these things better. I remember when Ben was born, it was basketball

just started. I remember figuring out how to get the TV on just to have something. The dads are basically useless. They really are. That's a terrible weekend too. You got Cinco de Mayo, usually a good The dads are basically useless. They really are. They don't really tell us. That's a terrible weekend too, right?

You got Cinco de Mayo, usually a good fight. That was a huge mistake. Kentucky Derby. It was a huge mistake. First round basketball playoffs. Yeah. I'd completely sabotaged that Saturday, Sunday of May for myself. Right.

It was always Derby, always the biggest fight. I've never been able to see any of those trips because you want to be home for myself. Right. There's always Derby, always the biggest fight. I've never, I've never been able to see any of those trips because, you know, you want to be home for your thing. But yeah, the,

we'll do it right the second time. Well, what are those things where you have the little Maz classes? Yeah, right.

Leading up, they teach you how to breathe and stuff. We have to go and the dad and you kind of feel like not totally a part of it. They should have classes just to tell us how useless we are in the actual child birthday.

Yeah, that's smart. We really have no role at all. If anything, we're kind of in the way. They don't want to see us. The only thing I remember taking from one of those Lamaze is like, if they ask you if you want the epidural, you may not feel like you want it. Get it when they ask you. And I was like, okay, that seems wise. That's something I can hold on to. And sure enough, my wife was like, no, I'm not feeling it. And I'm like, no, no, no. Get it now if the guy's asking.

And sure enough, 10 minutes later, it's probably the smartest thing I've ever done in my life. Well, the two things you learn is get the epidural. Yeah. And if you're the husband, stay near the top of the bed. Right. Stay near where her head is. Don't, don't fetch her down toward the feet.

Yeah. Stay up high. Yeah. You don't want to know what's going on down on the other side. It adds some time to your, pull the baby out. Yeah. To your marriage.

Yeah. Yeah. Hey, this is another great episode of Parent Corner. All right, that was Parent Corner brought to you by CarMax, America's number one used car retailer. It's car buying and car selling the way it should be. Check them out today at CarMax.com.

All right, Sal. So you have against the odds. Yeah, but you want to talk. We never talked baseball. I think we were through game five. I just want to put this out there with all the Justin Turner stuff. If Tampa wins that game, and I know you American League guys were really bummed that Tampa didn't win that game. Well, the people bet on them.

Sure, but if Tampa wins, they shut baseball down for what? A week? Yeah. They shut baseball down for what? A week? Yeah. They shut it down for a week. It might even be like 10 days. 10 days. Kershaw-Snell game seven. Is that the most highly anticipated baseball game in 30 years?

Or are people over it by then? I was thinking about this. Do they have to do a makeshift best two out of three? Oh, really? They would add? Do you have to at that point? Can you really say, like, we're just going to do one game, we're going to take it two weeks off, and then

have one game? Oh, I think they'd be like, we got to get the hell out of the season. We'll do a seven inning game. We have to. But the game itself would have been phenomenal, right? I heard some of the Dodger people are still down there, quarantined.

Yeah. They were on Bellinger and Kershaw and on Jimmy's show. I'm calling in via Zoom or whatever. Yeah, they're still down there. It actually would have been the most 2020 thing for that to have happened, right?

It almost happened. It almost happened. Yeah, so close. Crazy. We're getting basketball back, by the way. What do you think? I heard they lose a billion dollars

if they start January. Is it before that? No, it's Christmas. They got to do 72 games. They have to get the TV money. But do guys opt out for Christmas? There's people unhappy with that. Then we'll see you after 20 games.

All right. They're doing the 72. Yeah. They have to. And they know they're not going to have fans, and they're okay with it. They know they're not going to have fans. They could have waited, but they got to get out.

They also, they got, yeah, they have to play more because they have to hit the RSN. The RSN thing is either 70 or 72. They have to hit it. So did you see the adjusted numbers? If they play 50, Curry goes from making like 40 million a year to like 24. Is that right? Stuff like that.

Yeah. Oh, no. It's a percentage of the, it's their salary, but it hinges on the revenue. So these guys who think they're making X,

then it turns out being Y. Wow. That's why it'll be, they'll get to 70, 72. All right. Well, we got to start a GoFundMe for Steph Curry now. I don't know.

I know. I'm worried about this at all. I know. Well, we got to start a GoFundMe for Steph Curry now. I don't know. I know. I'm worried about this at all. I know. Guy's got expenses. All right. So extra points. Extra points. Extra points.

How many days a week is that? Three? Three days a week. The flagship show. Me, Dave Damoshek, Charlotte Wilder. And then against all odds on Tuesday, talking to those knuckleheads, the degenerate trifecta got Fox bet live like you said 5 p.m eastern on FS1 and Thursday night football I'll do the uh pre-game show oh and I want to mention the book real quick you can't lose them all uh I was told this is a big deal and you confirmed that Kirkus magazine called my book a rollicking, often silly account of the foibles of a man

who will bet on anything. And Babydoll, our agent, said that may not mean so much to you, baby, but that's a good fucking review. They take up book shelving and they take account into space and how much each store orders and shit like that. So there you go. I thought it was a really good sign. Good. All right. And that's available

for pre-order. When's the book come out, though? January 26th, which is the Kimmel anniversary. I'm going to be on Jimmy Kimmel Live. But, yeah, it's available for pre-order on Amazon and all those good places. Awesome. All right. Good seeing you. Good job by you. Good job by you. Yeah, and don't forget the new rewatchables,

the American president. It's going to be up on Monday night. So if you like the rewatchables, go check that one out. When it comes up, I'll be back on this feed on Tuesday. See you then. I don't have.