The Bill Simmons Podcast - The Bizarro Browns, Frisky Giants, Zombie Pats, and Bad-News Jets With Cousin Sal

Episode Date: December 7, 2020

The Ringer’s Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss the Browns’ decisive win over the Titans, the Broncos losing a close game to the Chiefs, Rams-Cardinals, the Jets barely keeping their 0-16 season intact vs. the Raiders, the Patriots' blowout win vs. the Chargers, cross-off teams, and more (4:00). Then they Guess the Lines for Week 14 (55:00) before closing the show with Parent Corner (1:24:00). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Coming up, Cousin Sal and I are going to talk about a wild and wacky week 13 that includes the question, are the Browns a Super Bowl contender? What? That's next. This episode is brought to you by my old friend, Miller Lite. I've been a big fan of Miller Lite, man, since college days when I was allowed to have beer. I think nephew Kyle is a fan too. Miller Lite keeps it simple for us.

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Miller Lite is the light beer with all the great beer tastes we like. 90 calories per 355 mil can. So why not grab some Miller Lites today? Your game time tastes like Miller time. Must be legal drinking age. It's the Bill Simmons podcast presented by FanDuel. Football is in full action. FanDuel's highest rated sports book is the best place to bet at all. We've been doing pretty well on million dollar picks this year. I love the first month of the season because you have to go into the season thinking, I think Pittsburgh's going to be good. I think the Chargers are going to be good. I think Seattle's going to be good.

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or visit rg-help.com. We're also brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network, where we launched a bunch of new podcasts recently, including Recipe Club and Gamblers and the Ringer Music Show. We also spun off the mismatch from the Ringer NBA show onto its own feed, hosted by Kevin O'Connor and Chris Vernon. We also are up to some stuff on the TV concierge feed, which is exclusive on Spotify. We do some recaps of different TV episodes. I was on there last week talking about that Hulu movie, Happiest Holiday. I'm going to be on there again this week talking about another TV show that I like. But if you like little 20 minute recaps of shows you probably watched,

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That's my hint for you. Coming up, the cuz and I are going to talk about week 13. Before we do that, so I screwed up my recording again. This was a new one. So how we do this when we record from home, we use these Zoom machines, and you have to basically plug in. You have to plug the cord from the mic into the right side. There's four different outlets into the actual Zoom mic. You have to

make sure the levels are right. You have to make sure you actually recorded. You have to make sure the card isn't full. There's like six things you have to make sure of. And it's really not hard. I mean, especially like if you have an IQ over like 75, not hard at all, but I do a lot of podcasts and over and over again, somehow I screw up and I have screwed up every conceivable way over these last nine months of the pandemic, including one time where there was no cord plugged into my microphone. And I did an entire podcast with a microphone that wasn't plugged into anything. So that was probably my best one. This one was really good tonight.

Did the entire podcast with Sal, which you're about to hear. The cord going from my microphone to the Zoom machine was plugged into the number two outlet when it should have been plugged into the number one outlet. So taped the whole thing. No audio. So what you're going to hear is my voice, but it's the Zoom recording, and the audio just isn't as good. I apologize.

I'm offering you a full refund for this podcast. But yeah, I'm a moron. Don't ever forget that. I'm sorry the audio isn't that great. The podcast is really fun. I wish it had better audio on my side. At least Sal's audio is good. It's all coming up next.

First, Pearl J. All right. Cousin Sal is here. We're taking this at 8.30 Sunday night. He just survived a harrowing kid's hit. I don't know how many bets you had the Chiefs in, but you survived all of them. Congrats. Thank you. It was about anywhere from 13 to 15,

starting last Monday night. So thank God. Oh my God, I survived the fixed game. Yeah, I mean, when you have 17 settled four field goal drives when they have the best quarterback probably ever. We're not going to start with that, though. We're going to start with the Browns. Saw the Browns beat the living hell out of the Titans today.

Yeah, they did. You know, weird way, this was like a playoff game where it was like the nobody believes in us game where the Browns, everybody was just like, eh, 8-3, whatever. Their schedule, eh, eh. There's a lot, 8-3, whatever their schedule. Eh, eh. There's a lot of eh with them, including for me. I love Tennessee.

That was the only game I lost a million-dollar pick, so I teased Tennessee down to plus four because I was just like, yeah, they're going to run the ball in the Browns. But what I saw from the Browns today looked like a legitimate playoff team. And we're now at the point of the season where in December, when you start playing like that against good teams, I have to take you seriously. Cousin Sal, do we have to take the Browns seriously? I think we have.

And I think if I have to apologize to one team, it's the Browns. I was just what you described. I was like, ah, they're winning these cold weather, rainy garbage games. It's tied against crap teams like Jacksonville and Cincinnati. And then Chubb busts a long run in the fourth quarter and they end up winning by three or six or something. And Baker's not proving himself. My God, they came out.

Maybe they are last year's. Maybe they're this year's Titans. Like the Titans ran the ball hard, upset some teams in the playoffs. Maybe that's what we're looking at here. But Baker, don't forget, without Odell Beckham, who they interviewed after the game, he's like, oh, I'm so happy for my teammates. No, he's not.

Oh, no, he didn't. No, he didn't say anything like that. No, I didn't hear anything like that. I imagine that's all made up. But yeah, they're a scary team. And that's probably could be a rematch, could be a first-round rematch, right, for four versus five? Looks like they're going to be the best wildcard team.

They're very similar teams where, you know, heavy run game, good at play action, and you like them a lot more when you're up seven or up ten when you've gambled on them, and you like them a lot less when you're down. Both of those teams are like, oh, man, I'm down 10. I could probably write this one up. I think two things really impressed me today. First, I thought Baker was great.

I really did. I thought we joked about him being like Case Keenum 2.0 or Colt McCoy 2.0, whatever, but he hit some open dudes today, throws that he had to make. And then Miles Garrett a couple times in that game was just like, I'm making something happen. And then would make something happen. Even in the place where he did. And he almost dragged Tannehill down.

Like he was right. He was all over the place. Obviously a difference, uh, when he's in there and Baker, I think, yeah, like you said,

down 10, maybe I don't count on him designing something to Donovan Peoples-Jones or who's the other one? Rashard Higgins or whoever's left there. But yeah, when they're in a tight game, they seem to be as tough as anyone in the AFC, which we could talk about later. But the AFC bigs didn't look that great today. No, and I want to get into that. But the Browns, probably their two best guys are Garrett and Chubb in that order. Sure.

And they missed Garrett there for a couple games. They missed Chubb for a bunch of games. To be able to survive that and to be 9-3 with a pretty favorable schedule the rest of the way, I was impressed. The game kind of swung, though. The Titans basically had 3-1. They're down 3-0 first quarter early. They ran a crap 3 and one pass play.

Didn't get it. And then they kept everybody on the field for fourth and one. And the Browns stuffed Henry. Right. Huge play. Momentum swing. And it was like for anybody who had Tennessee in this game, like, uh-oh. That's not good.

Browns go down and score. Tennessee gets the ball back. Henry fumble. And in like 10 minutes, it felt like the game was over. It was 17-0. Henry fumble. And in like 10 minutes, it felt like the game was over. It was 17-0. I was like, that's it. I don't think they can come back from this. They made a valiant effort to at least try to save a couple

pieces. You're taking Grable out of the game there, right? With all those turnovers. You're like, oh, they're not going to win the coaching matchup now if they're going to get stuffed on fourth and one. It kind of really just takes the air out of anything, any game plan they had going forward. Very big win. Very big statement win, I think, for the Browns.

Well, I think for a million dollar picks going forward on Thursdays, I'm going to have a nobody believes in this game because I do think it was the Browns. The Browns for an eight and three team. There was a lot of disrespect. Even the line started at six and a half and by game time today, drifted down to four. So I think there were people banging them but i still think the consensus was like tennessee's a better version of cleveland

so brett if we're talking about the 2.0 browns starting back in 1999 and you and i have known each other since 2001 and right around we've been doing this podcast since 07 and the browns have been terrible basically the entire time you claim they made the playoffs and we watched it one year. We did. I was working for Kimmel show, Derek Anderson. That was the only time. I can't believe that.

That was a playoff game, like on a weekend. That was the only time they got to 10 and six. So the Browns right now at nine and three, the 2.0, uh, post Baltimore, the leaving the team version,

this, their one went away from tying their record over the last 21 years. Wow. Their record until this season as the new Browns was 93-343. And this year they're 9-3. Stefanski is their 12th coach since 1999. Obviously the best one they've had by far. I kind of think he might be coach of the year.

If he can pull off 12-4 with this Browns team, losing Beckham in the first month of the season, basically. Also, figuring out how to make Baker kind of a semi-asset when I don't think either of us think he's very good. I think he's got to be in the mix, right? Well, I'll tell you, going into today, and this will obviously change after today, I pulled the odds off of Fandle.

Tomlin, minus 105. Minus 105. Flores, 4-1 odds for the Dolphins. Stefanski, 6-1. There you go. That'll go lower. Payton, plus 950. And Vrabel, 13-1.

Those were the top five in there. So Tomlin, if they go 15-1, 16-0, he's got to win it. Probably. I think Stefanski should be the second pick right now. I think the Browns versus the Dolphins. I think what he's done with the Browns. I mean, how many years in a row did the Browns coaches were just comedy fodder for us every Sunday night?

Hugh Jackson, Freddy Kitchens. What was that guy, Chudzinski? Oh, Chud. Romeo Cornell going. I mean, every year we got to make fun of the Browns coach. And now he's mastered this play action thing. And when they can run for five yards a pop, it's really hard to stop. Because then you start selling out for the run.

And then all of a sudden, Baker scram went out. And these guys are wide open. I just think they're a very well-polished team. And they beat the Titans at their own game, like you said, the play action. You can only really do it when you have a top five running back, right, in Chubb or Derrick Henry. Yeah. So, yeah, I don't know.

Yeah, it seems like they're going to be a tough out for sure in that 4-5 and then even the second round. Yeah. I apologize to them. I really thought they were full of crap. I thought they were full of crap. I'm annoyed by the Titans because I jumped off them because I thought their defense stunk. Yeah. I apologize to them. I really thought they were full of crap. I thought they were annoyed by the Titans. Cause I jumped off them because I thought their defense stunk.

Yeah. And then they had a couple of nice wins. It's like, all right, I guess I have to take you guys seriously. They beat Baltimore and OT. They beat Indy. And then,

uh, and then they shit the bed and their defense was horrible in this game. And really bad. And we knew their second, but yeah, we didn't think they were for passing touchdowns in the first half bad, but we knew their second was bad. We didn't think they were four passing touchdowns in the first half bad, but we knew their secondary was suspect.

There's a chance that all of these teams are kind of the same level of on one day I can look really good and the next day I can look like complete shit because I think Miami is in there too. Indy is obviously in there. I would have said Cleveland, but Cleveland is finding a way to win these games.

Yeah, and they have a good one home against Baltimore. I guess we'll learn more about it next Monday night. Yeah, let's go through that. So they got home Baltimore at Giants. Surprisingly, at Giants doesn't seem like a layup anymore. At the Jets, and then home for Pittsburgh. And Pittsburgh may have zero to play for that week. So there is a chance they could go 12-4 here. There is a chance, yeah.

There's a chance. At least, what do they have now? They have nine? They're nine and three? Nine wins, yeah. Okay, so they'll go 11-5 easily. You mentioned the 4-5 matchup. So I think right now it looks like Cleveland's going to get the top wild card.

They're 9-3. Colts are 8-4. Miami's 8-4. Then it drops down to Vegas at 7-5. So odds are they're – Indianapolis has a – they have at Vegas, home Houston, at Pittsburgh, home Jacksonville. I don't think they can leapfrog Cleveland. And Miami's got an even tougher schedule.

Chiefs, Pats, Vegas, Buffalo. Right. So if Cleveland gets this top wild card, then they're looking at either Buffalo or Tennessee, or if somebody else wins those divisions. So the Buffalo slash Miami, Tennessee slash Indy. We saw the Tennessee game today. I think they could definitely beat Indy.

Buffalo, who knows? But I do feel like there's, I feel like all five of those teams, in whatever order, are pretty close, right? They're good. I feel bad for your team. They can't catch up. They can't, right? They win.

Couldn't, no, but I mean, they're're stuck two games behind all these teams, right? Yeah. Even at six and six. But yeah, Titans, Dolphins, Colts. I don't think any of those are going to lose three out of four. I was looking at their schedules. Here's what needs to happen. So we need Baltimore to exit stage right, which is going to be hard

because they have the easiest schedule of anyone the rest of the way. Dallas at Cleveland, Jacksonville Giants at Cincy. Kind of need your team to upend them this week. No chance. No chance? Okay. Need Cleveland to beat them so they would have six losses.

Vegas is turning out to be fraudulent and it's hard to imagine them I think getting to higher than 10 wins and whether they can even get to 10 wins. They have Indy, Chargers, Miami, three in a row at home, and then at Denver. Isn't it weird? The team that, well, we saw the Chiefs struggle tonight, but the team that has the Chiefs' numbers, either could beat them or has a game plan to get them, you know, with three minutes left, a very close game is probably not going to snip the playoffs in the Raiders. Well,

if the Pats, if they can pull off this Rams win, then they have Miami Buffalo and the Jets the rest of the way. And I think that, I think it's amazing, but there is a chance they could get to 10 and 6. This episode is brought to you by Movember. The mustache is back with a vengeance.

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Denver's a team that we haven't... They've had bad luck with injuries and people missing this game, that game. I kind of like their foundation. I don't know if I'm sold on Locke, but I think that Patrick kid is really, really good. I actually like him more than Judy.

And then who's the other guy? Hamler? Hamler, yeah. Yeah, he's frisky too. He catches a three-yard pass and can duck three tackles for a first down. They have athletic receivers all of a sudden. Not gigantic guys like they used to have, but yeah, like guys who will zigzag and get your first down. You know me with Denver.

I pick them every year preseason. I have to stay away from them in Atlanta the rest of the year. As soon as I'm on them, they'll get shut out. There is a world where if you played this season 30 times, there is a world where one of those 30 times, Denver goes like 12 and four, gets good injury luck, wins a couple games. They don't have all of their quarterbacks on the COVID list

for the same week, stuff like that. So the division that's just tortured me is the AFC South. Tennessee and Indianapolis, I feel like I've been on the wrong end trying to figure out. And really, it's just a zigzag division, right? It's like, oh, now I think this. Now I think the other thing. Oh, I love Indy. It's like, no, go the other way.

And I guess that's just the way it's going to be the rest of the way. We do guess the lines. I should have looked back, but I have a feeling you beat me on every Colts game this year. What is this going to be? The 14th week? I mean, I feel like every week they're on the road against a team that's just as good as them, and they still like, nope, Colts on the road favored by

three and a half. Like, what? How did that happen? And they got lucky today right they uh deshaun watson fumbled snap otherwise houston's going in there and then that loss that tennessee loss wouldn't have meant as much um but now they're both eight and four there was a moment near the end of the early games when it looked like the pats really might get lucky with indianapolis and vegas both losing yeah and I started to get this Pat's team that I bet against a couple of times this year that I really kind of had given up on.

I actually wagered on them this week, which I'm proud of you. Yeah. You haven't done that in a while. Good to probably. Yeah. They've they've sucked me back in those seven games, those early seven games, five of them came right down to like the

last drive and like even i know this is dumb but tennessee onside kicked it to recover against cleveland right you can count that that would be six out of the seven um chicago blew it you know houston blew it uh miami was the only one not in jeopardy minnesota jacksonville we'll talk about vegas jersey jets we'll talk about really really good batch on the afc what what team is stopping us from pittsburgh versus kansas city in round three uh i'm not gonna say i've been against cleveland and i'm not gonna now jump on board saying they're gonna beat everyone i don't think it's on me there who's gonna stop them okay let me look at this it's tough because all those teams are right around the same yeah i don't want to say philip river maybe if someone emerges from that afc south

that you hate if it's tennessee or indianapolis i still maintain it's very hard to tackle derrick henry in the open field and uh in early january well let's go backwards process of elimination who can ruin a pittsburgh kansas city thing my team my quarterback literally as much as i can't believe my team is six and six and i'm so proud of them my quarterback literally can't complete a pass of more than like five yards he he throws hanch was saying he's the first one that it looks like he's spiking the ball but it's to a guy who's 10 yards down the field and it's like wow how did you spike a 10-yard pass? I don't think they can do it.

Baltimore is the year from hell. I don't see that one either. I think they've had too many injuries on both sides of the ball. Vegas, fraudulent. They're not making round three. Miami, now I'm kind of getting warmer, but it feels like they're a year away to me. And I don't trust Tua. I think Tua could win two straight rounds.

Everybody wants him to be good, but you're not going to trust him to go on the road. Right. Two rounds on the road to win games. I don't see it. Indianapolis. That's another one. I don't see them winning two straight. Maybe.

Their defense is solid. I mean, if they put together something like... So last year at this time, the question was, who gets in the way of the Chiefs' Ravens, right? Yeah. I don't know if we would have said Tennessee at this point, 13 weeks in the year. Well, so that leads us to Cleveland, Tennessee,

Buffalo. Buffalo, yeah. Buffalo, I would say, is the safest bet. Cleveland, the Baker in January I can't believe I'm saying this But I still feel like Tennessee is probably The monkey wrench team So who's the best quarterback out of those guys

Let's start there Which quarterback do you trust the most Or which quarterback do you not trust the least Baker, Rivers Tannehill I probably trust Tannehill. I probably trust Tannehill slightly. Slightly the most.

I don't even like Tannehill. I trust Deshaun Watson. He's not going to get there, though. Here's the thing with Buffalo. We're going to know tomorrow night. I picked the Niners, the million-dollar picks. I already have a wager on the Niners. I think the Niners are going to-dollar picks. I already have a wager on the Niners. I think the Niners are going to win tomorrow night.

Buffalo can beat them. They'll be 9-3. Then they have Pittsburgh, got Denver, at New England, Miami, the rest of the way. There's a scenario where Buffalo, I could see them finishing 10-6. I could see them finishing 12-4. I don't really know. That's the mystery team to me.

You agree or no? I think you're on the right side of the San Francisco pick tomorrow or Arizona wherever they're playing. They're in Arizona, right? The Arizona Niners. I think they're looking ahead to this Steelers game because this is the one. Everybody wants to be the team to beat the Steelers. And I think they probably can.

It'll be a clue. We'll go over the spread in a minute. But yeah, that's a potential nobody believes in us team, even though they may have a division and a three seed. Last question. Odell Beckham, Ewing Theory? We're getting close. He's got to qualify, right?

Yeah. You know he's been in the league seven years. He's 0-1 in the playoffs. Is it really? Yeah, this is his seventh year in football. So he's like 28, 29. He's 0-1 in the playoffs. Is it really? Yeah. This is his seventh year in football. So he's like 28, 29. He's right around there. Something like that. He's almost 30 years old. Wow. Yeah,

it's a bummer. They're going to play the Giants, and that's going to be a fun game, and he's not going to be involved in two weeks. Yeah, you're right. All right. Now it's time for the State Farm Surprisingly Great segment of the week, getting car and home insurance from State Farm at a surprisingly great rate. That's like the surprisingly great Giants

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claims, and more with a great price and even greater service state farm goes from strength to strength choose insurance that always brings its a game when you want the real deal like a good neighbor state farm is there our surprisingly great player from last week was the entire giants defense when the fuck did this happen it's not like they've been drafting you know high first rounders for the last eight years some of these guys are cast offs from other teams well blake martinez is good yeah you got bradbury you guys signed him from somebody else yeah the packers they got yeah they got chabril peppers obviously yeah i know the guys that you didn't wouldn't think that they'd want to keep like the

browns uh uh be happy with uh giving these guys away but But my God, they play tough for Joe Judge, don't they? Every week, this defense plays tough. And I'm in a weird spot because I'm a Cowboys fan. And when an NFC East team beats anybody outside of division, I'm like, aha, I told you we're a force to be reckoned with the NFC East. What am I doing? I hate the Giants. I absolutely hate the Giants more than anybody.

And yet this was an exciting win for the division. I hate them just as much. I hate them passionately. I do have some Giant fan friends in my life. And I emailed one of them and said, because I actually had the game on and was watching it, but I'm just like, I'm just mystified by it. I'm like, what the fuck is

happening with this team? This is now, they've been pretty good to good now for two months. And he was like, he just texted me back, we have a real coach and a real D. And then he's like, we might have five pro bowlers on D. Like, whoa. Peppers, Bradbury, Martinez, Williams, and

Logan Ryan. He was like, those five guys have been lights out. The Seattle thing, like, that wasn't like Seattle just like, oh man, they didn't see the Giants come and they shit the bed. They beat Seattle, that wasn't like Seattle just like, oh man, they didn't see the Giants come in, they shit the bed. They beat Seattle in that game. That was a win.

That was not a Seahawks fuck-up game. They blew a 5-0 lead. How does that happen? I don't know what it is. Sometimes I think Russell Hustle and Bustle is trying to get down 12 with seven minutes left just so he could throw some flair in there and be, he could be our state farm.

What the hell just happened of the week? Pick. I don't know what he did, but there was too much too far behind. Like you're not gonna, they're not going to give you the DK Metcalf 45 yard bomb every single time. And he was too far bad. They put him on his ass.

That was something else. Yeah. I mean, single time and he was too far. Man, they put him on his ass. That was something else. Yeah, they. I mean, Goldman and Colt McCoy went in there and beat them up. Goldman had 135 yards. The Giants had 190 rushing. And this is when we were praising Seattle's defense. Like, oh, they got Jamal Adams back. They got Carlos Dunlop.

What happened? Seahawks fans are getting mad at me. So I'm going to tread lightly because Seahawks Twitter, the Seahawks internet, they're fucking crazy. Good start. The home field advantage thing with them, it feels like they've

been hurt the most. And I do wonder you look back at the last decade, whenever they built that stadium, the last 12 years or whatever, maybe that stadium has been worth like three wins a year for them. Cause when you like put this way, if, if non pandemic, Colt McCoy is not going into that stadium with the fans and beating them there. He's just not, it's not happening. I'm with you. Should they call it something?

Could they call it the 13th man? How many men are left? Wait, we can't use 12th, right? Because that's already out. The pandemic's the 13th man. But yeah, for whatever reason, they've been the team that I think has felt the biggest weight of not having fans. Because you would have guessed, I think the Chiefs,

I think the Saints would have been one. There's probably like five or six teams total Seattle's number one most affected I think Seattle's by far number one because I do think that was a legitimate advantage that they had with the noise and they are five and one though at home yeah but that game the game they lost today I don't feel like they would have lost that game normally yeah remember the Pats game the Pats almost beat them that second I bet they should have beaten them have lost that game normally. Yeah, probably. Remember the Pats game? The Pats almost beat them that second. They should have beaten them. They had it right down to the end.

I don't know. It's just a weird one. And the NFC West has had so many twists and turns. Seattle's 8-4. The Rams are now 8-4. And Arizona dropped to 6-6 and is actually below the cutoff line right now. Yeah, Arizona's behind Minnesota. but Minnesota has a tougher schedule, so it's going to be close.

But I think the Rams, I think we said it last week, and the Rams are my favorite pick this week over Arizona. And just the most complete team when Goff isn't as bad as he was last year against the 49ers. But it's a funny thing. Talk about zigzag players. Goff will have a bad week, and then Wednesday it'll come out in the news. Like, Sean McVay is upset with Jared Goff, and he let him know it.

And, like, they have that relationship where he can tell him that. He's like, okay, great. And so then Goff steps up. What did he throw for? 351 today? 37 for 47? Right. It's crazy.

You know what's funny? The first half hour of that game, it looked like it was going to be the Jared Goff shit special. Yeah, they were down 7-0. And he had that look, and he looked a little frazzled. And I was like, oh, my God, because I had bet on the Rams this week. Right. But they actually beat Arizona better than they –

I mean, Jonathan Joseph went out. So Woods, Kopp, and what was it? Everett went – just the three of them had almost 200 yards. Well, the biggest reason I bet on the Rams was I watched Murray in that Pats game last week and I didn't think he was healthy and I didn't think he looked healthy. When are they going to say anything? Because we all feel that way.

Like his shoulder is messed up. He's rushing. What did he have? 15 yards rushing. Like if he's going to rush for 15 yards and new Hopkins isn't going to go seven for 153. What did he have? He had like, you know, Hopkins will go for,

he had 52 yards and he'll get, get a pass interference call. And that's the end of the day for him. They're in trouble. I mean, they're not much better than last year's Arizona at this point. They needed to at least split those last two games. Hopkins had a zero in like midway through the third quarter fantasy points. Yeah. So I had them on my team back to the giants for a second.

Um, I mentioned this last week. I fucking hate the giants fans. You know who you are. I know what you're doing. I know all the text threads you're on where you're, you're now singularly focused on round one. You can't wait.

You can't wait to get in there as the four seed hosting whoever it's going to be it's either going to be Tampa or the Rams either way you get an ancient Brady. It could be Seattle we could have two rematches of today's matches Tennessee Cleveland could be first round Seattle Giants

but this time Giants home every team they can play in round one is a team that their defense can fuck with if it's healthy. Yeah. That round one game, right? Like if they play Seattle, we saw what happened today. If they play the Rams, we've seen what the right defense can do against golf.

If they play Tampa, not only do we know that they can give Brady trouble, but then there's all this, the double Super Bowl residue and all those Giants feels like we own Brady. We own Brady. And then that, then I would feel like I lost if they beat Tampa again. It was like, yeah, we still know Brady. I'm like, he's not on my team anymore. Get ready for that. You're going to have to do a lot of that. But three weeks ago,

we probably would have said the NFC East winner is going to get 10 points at home in round one. What do you think that line is? You named all their potential opponents. You got to figure Danny Jones is back by then. Is it like five or six now at most? Danny Jones getting his job back? Colt McCoy threw for, he didn't have anything. He had 105 yards passing.

One of the Giants fans listed back. Well, I'm ready to come. Fuck you. He's getting his job back listening will be like, what? Fuck you. He's getting his job back. By the way, there are people who think Colt McCoy was great today and people think that Jalen Hurts was great today. And just watch the game or look at the box score and you'll see that it's not the case.

Jalen Hurts was great today because he wasn't Carson Wentz. The Giants are 5-7 now. They have Zona and Cleveland at home next two weeks. It's not unrealistic they could be 7-7. Let's say 6-8 and then they have

the terrible Cowboys the last year. Who do they have the week before that? At Baltimore, week 16, which would be a must win for Baltimore. And Dallas. So seven and nine is realistic. Yeah. See?

It's a good division. I'll tell you this much. I know we'll get to the line later. I don't like unhealthy Kyler Murray against that Giants defense. No, I don't like it against any. They're really – that's like a weirdly physical team. It's been one of those things where they've been on. I haven't – there'll be weeks I didn't watch them at all,

but you see in red zone and be like, oh, fourth down and one stop by the Giants. You're like, what's going on with that team? They've won five in a row. They were all in five, right? Wait. Yeah. There's seven.

Yeah. Yeah. Five in a row. They play hard for that guy, man. They really do. Yeah. And that guy was a malign coach, Joe Judge. And everybody, including me, made jokes like,

my God, they didn't even hire the Patriots coach people thought you should have hired. And they did it. So that was one exciting thing that happened with New York football. The other one was the Jets tank of Palooza. We think this was as much of a tank as you can possibly do without actually paying your players to lose the game. Yeah, and they kind of took it out of the players' hands, right?

Like Greg Williams, and I'm not one of those people that's going to say Greg Williams, the defensive coordinator, for doing a jailbreak, all-out blitz, leaving your corners one-on-one with speedsters like Henry Ruggs. I'm not saying he bet on the game, but I am saying he's part of a multimillion-dollar eliminator pool where he had the Raiders and just keeps picking against the Jets. That's what I'm saying.

Can we trust Greg Williams? No coach is going to do that, but if anyone is, it'll be him, right? I've never seen anything like it. Because the play before they give up the touchdown to Ruggs, Aguilar's open and Carr overthrows him. Yeah. And you're watching it going, they're at midfield. How do they have receivers?

Why aren't they in a pre-bend? They're up four. Right. What are they trying to take away the middle of the field? What are they doing? So they do that, and it was definitely one of those, hmm, that was suspicious. And a couple of penalties to keep the drives going. But that last play.

So, and ESPN stats and info tweeted about this. They said there were 252 pass plays meeting the criteria in the last 15 seasons of this. Final 15 seconds. Down 48 points. 40 plus yards to the end zone. in the last 15 seasons of this final 15 seconds down for eight points, uh, 40 plus yards to the end zone. And the jets were the first defense in this situation has sent six plus pass rushers.

Yeah. In that specific moment, if you watch it rugs, who I think is the fastest guy in the league, other than Tyree kill, he's on the left side by himself against one cornerback. There's no safety behind him. All he does is do a stutter step,

turns the guy around and he's wide open for a touchdown. They needed a touchdown. It was like, yeah, there's no way they didn't at least rig this a little bit. Well, why is the corner biting on the underneath route? Knowing that six guys are blitzing and he's going to have no help.

Let him catch a 20-yard pass there. Who cares? There was so much wrong with that. And yet it was all right. It really was. So Greg Williams is really being paid to tank. So he's telling the quarterback, don't let him go underneath on you. Yeah, right.

Yeah, yeah. You don't want that. If he cuts across the middle, you got to take that away. Because then they're going to have to try seven laterals. And then who knows what happens then? Yeah, that was really, really bad for Jets fans. I feel bad. That's as close to a win as they're going to get.

They're not going to get that, right? They're going 0-16. Well, we had the bet from before the year that the Jaguars had the worst record in the league. And there was a moment there when it seemed like the Jags were going to lose and the jets were going to win and we were going to be on that bet and the jets fans are going nuts darnold's doing everything he can to simultaneously win and lose the game how many turnovers do you have at least three he needs out yeah uh no we had two touchdowns and one interception right did he fumble he had a fumble

yeah he had at least two turnovers. So the other fun thing about that one, so everybody and their brother had the Raiders and the Vikings and either a 10 point tease or a parlay with the third team. I have decided not to do anchor bets anymore. Normally I would have had that with everything. I just did it with, I just did it with the Packers today. But that was the second time,

like a last 10 seconds of the game, Hail Mary type thing has swung crazy bets because we had a Kyle Lamar in Hopkins. What was that, four weeks ago? Yeah. We've had two borderline miracles in the last 10 seconds to swing a whole bunch of money. This one was even bigger because everybody had the Raiders in a teaser parlay.

Of course. And I feel bad because you had the Raiders were up 10, right? Early in the fourth. So yeah, he just kind of blew it. I don't know what it is with that team. Like you would think Gruden would step up. Then they lose like 34 to three to him last year. They just put this damn team away. I know they didn't have Jacobs in there. And Waller had like 200 yards. That was the entire team right there until the last play. Yeah, Jacobs was the one that jumped out to me. How different of a

team they are when they don't have him. Because he's really good. I think he's one of the best six or seven running backs. Maybe not as good as Damian Harris, but like a notch below. I fucking love Damian Harris. Belichick finally made a couple good draft picks. What are you going to do?

That's what I love about you. I wish people were on the text chain with you. Any player that was drafted in the first three rounds that is a wide receiver or a tight end, you're like, oh, Cole Komet. Thanks, Coach Belichick. Another guy he didn't draft. Guy's got freaking nine catches all year.

And then who's your guy today? I mean, you got him. He was a good draft pick, right? Gunner? Gunner. Yeah, I don't even know if Gunner was drafted. Gunner. Gunner finally had a good game.

The guy who was really good today was Uche. He was the linebacker in the second round. He was good, and Duggar's been good, and Harris was from last year's draft. And I swear to God, I bet on the over-under for him for rushing was 62 yards. He had it in the first half. He would have had 180 yards in that game, but they basically took him out in the second half

because they need him for the Rams on Thursday night. I swear to God, Harris is like as good as Dalvin Cook. I'm not kidding. Go look at the – Oh, come on. I'm telling you, Harris is one of the best running backs in the league. Don't be crazy. You know me.

I will neg the Pats if – I'll go the other way. I'm telling you, Harris is the best running back we've had since Curtis Martin. I was on multiple text threads today about this. He's the best running back we've had in 25 years He must be because for some reason You know you'll have even Sonny Michel Have a breakout game a couple years ago And then Belichick will never play him again

So for some reason he's sticking with Harris And well like you said Your guy Cam can't do it all He can't do it through the air that's for sure 69 What do you have 69 yards passing Is that a real number? Yeah,

it's pretty great. He had 69 yards passing. Colt McCoy had 105 yards passing and those two teams won pro football focus before this game had some stat about some advanced metric about guys exceeding the amount of yards they should have had at the running back position, like for the carry situations and the top three far and away were Harris and Henry and Cook. Those were our top three running backs this year.

What the hell does that mean? Exceeding the expectations that they should have had? Where it's breaking tackles, yards beyond expected contact. You know, they have all that stuff. I'm telling you, Harris is unbelievable. And then I was doing Wikipedia research on him today and he was like, he was the number one How long did that take? Eight seconds?

Oh no, it was a long page. Wikipedia? Yeah. He was the number one high school running back. And obviously Alabama's top recruit. He had 122 touchdowns in high school. And then in college, he had a good college career, but he was splitting time with people and classic Alabama fashion.

Yeah, these are good. It pays to be good in high school and college, and then you'll get scouts to look at you, and you'll eventually be on a pro team. All right. You're just jealous. Zeke Elliott's headed to the XFL. You're jealous of Harris.

Tony Pollard. I'm fine. I'm fine. Tony Pollard. He's exceeded nobody's expectations. What do they say about Zeke on the PFF? Good Lord. Zeke has exceeded zero expectations.

The Jets. It looks like they, that play, if they get Trevor Lawrence, that will be the play, right? Letting runs get by that dude. That will be the play. They remember Trevor Lawrence is winning Superbowls 10 years right? Letting runs get by that dude. That will be the play.

They remember if Trevor Lawrence is winning Super Bowls 10 years from now. It's funny how that works. Yeah. Well, all right. Let's look at this real quick because we don't really. At Seahawks, that's got to be a thrashing after the Seahawks loss, right? At the Rams. You're talking about the Jets?

Yeah. The Jets have been quietly half decent for a couple weeks in a row here. At least they've been in games. Can they win these games? They can't win those two games I just told you about, right? At Seattle, at the Rams. No, they're not beating the Rams. Home against Cleveland and at New England.

You better hope you're not the team out of it with nothing to gain and nothing to lose. Oh, my God. That would be a crusher for you and all Patriots fans. Don't lose to the Jets. me ask you this yeah if we're out of the playoffs in week 17 does Belichick throw that Jets game so that they don't get Trevor Lawrence like is that the game it's like Stidham that's fun Damon Harris has a fake calf injury it's like we got to see what we have in

Sonny Michelle and Nikhil Harry. It has to be very obvious that he's throwing it. Otherwise, you're just the team that lost to the Jets. Stephon Gilmore has a pulled calf. Yeah, yeah. He's going down the line. I think we have to throw that game. We can't let Trevor Lawrence be in our division.

Wow. You can't be remembered as the guys that lost to the Jets, though. Oh, that's an interesting thing. I hope we get to that. Sure we can. That's a smart move. I hope we get to that point. That'll be fun.

All right. We got a couple more things. Let's take a break. At Pennzoil, we have one job, pioneering a motor oil so advanced, you don't have to think about your motor oil. Instead, you can think about how your engine sounds, how your stomach feels as the RPMs build, how your wheels hug the curves,

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This episode is brought to you by Coca-Cola Creations. You love the taste of Coca-Cola and love the cookie crunch of Oreos. But what happens when the best drink and the best cookie in the world get together? The best becomes Besties. Try the new Coca-Cola Zero Sugar Oreo Limited Edition. Besties for a limited time. Taste it while it lasts. Copyright 2024. The Coca-Cola Company. Copyright 2024. Mondelez International Group. All right, mention the Patriots. That was, I think, the most surprising score of the day. 45 to nothing against the Chargers.

Yeah. Complete domination. They killed them. And I will never forget for the rest of my life score of the day 45 to nothing against the chargers yeah uh complete domination they killed them and i will never forget for the rest of my life watching the line of that game flip four points toward the chargers when the matchup was anthony lynn versus bill belichick i just can't believe it i can't believe there are people out there like i'm gonna i'm fine i'll lay it with two points anthony lynn against Bill Belichick. What are you people doing? I'm an idiot. You're talking to me.

I'm one of those people. I didn't, you didn't, you didn't charge her. No, I just picked it in every pool. I'm like, Oh,

the chargers, this will come down. But I think Belichick did Anthony Lynn a favor. He's like, look, buddy, I know you lose every game and terrible clock management or something in the last minute.

I'm not, you know what I mean? Not to worry about that. I'm going to beat the crap out of you so bad on special teams and defensive plays and your rookie of the year is not going to know what hit him. You won't even have to worry about a clock management decision at the end. And my God, did he ever. 45-0?

Their coaching was atrocious. Like one of the things that was shocking, first of all, we can't really stop the run. So all you really have to do is pound the ball against us and then do play action, and then we're in trouble because we just don't have the size up front. I thought, like, yeah, Austin Eckler averaged, like, 130 yards from scrimmage or something.

I thought that would be more of a game. No, he had three carries at halftime. I know. So they're in shotgun, which is great for us. Then we can figure that out. But, I mean, the special teams, they had, Gunnar had the touchdown. They had 10 men on the field. They missed a long field goal. They had a field goal blocked at halftime that they never should have tried. It was like a 50,

it was like a 56 yarder, Badgley. And how can you make a 36 yarder? And then that gets blocked. I'm guessing Anthony Lynn will not have a job by the end of this week, right? He'll probably lose it Monday. I would think so. You can't bring him back. We were talking about if he survives the season or the day or the week. That team is what now?

They're 3-9. They weren't in this game, but they're in most games. Offensive Rookie of the Year. Yeah, I don't know that he's lost the clubhouse, though, right? All these other guys lost the club. Dan Quinn lost the team. Patricia, my God, the vitriol we heard after he left. That was crazy.

Unparalleled. And I don't know if it's the same case with Anthony Lynn, but he's just not up for the job, it doesn't seem. I hate to say it. I liked him on hard knocks and inspirational. I really like him, too. And as soon as he gets fired, Cliff Kingsbury probably becomes the worst coach in the league He's waiting. He's getting fitted for the

jacket right now Do they just make the Chargers doctor the coach? Yeah, that's right. That was another thing Their season started with their starting quarterback getting stabbed by their team doctor Yeah, I was like, alright with that Well, that game had one other outcome I think we all thought Herbert was their starting quarterback getting stabbed by their team doctor. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, all right with that. Well,

that game had one other outcome. I think we all thought Herbert was the rookie of the year and we were texting odds back and forth today. Jefferson was like eight to one. Yeah.

I know a lot of people have red zone. I don't know how closely they're watching 10 hours of football a day. I can't tell you how great Jefferson is. I know some people

know who's watching, but that dude is always open. He's one of those dudes that's like, how's he open again? Why don't they have seven guys on him? He makes catches in traffic. He's faster than everybody. He is. I think he's the gem of that class. Absolutely. And you know, like they could have easily lost that deal with Stefan Diggs going to the bills. Right. But I think they want it. And, you know, he still does rookie things. I think he, like, false started today

in a big spot, and he had to push off on pass interference. He just has to learn how to get away with it. But over 1,000 yards already through Week 13, he's going to have some great, great rookie numbers. And, yeah, it's a delight to watch out there. A lot of fun.

So if you're a bills fan, do you still love that trade? Uh, well, I think it depends what they do. Like, right. If they win the division,

I don't know. It's hard to point to a digs being the reason they won the division. Right. It's more that the, cause this has been great. I mean, he's been one of the five or six best receivers, but Jefferson,

you know, might be a once a decade-decade kind of receiver. Yeah, I'm with you. Once a decade, somebody can make Kirk Cousins look good and not two extra points by Dan Bailey didn't matter. Oh, my God. That shot of Bailey and the chaser of Kirk Cousins, and we were in a lot of trouble there with the Vikings money line.

Yeah, we were on a text thread with multiple people who had bet on the Vikings money line. And in OT, we just wanted them to keep running so we didn't have to see Dan Bailey. And I jokingly said at the beginning of their drive, like, they have to get to the five-yard line to beat Bailey Ridge. They went past the five-yard line. We're still handing off.

They want to bring them in. I was like, they have to get three yards into the end zone and then you can bring Bailey out just to high five people. I don't know. Bailey made the game where you feel goal. Nobody congratulated him. They're like,

Hey, cool. Thanks. Thanks. We just worked an extra 40 minutes because of you. And then the false start scared the crap out of me. Cause then they had a kid. They were going to plan on running it in with Cook, right?

Poor Dalvin Cook thought he was going to basically have the week off this week. He had 15 carries in overtime. He had 32 carries. That's not true. At least eight in the overtime. Yeah, for sure. So anyway, I think Jefferson versus Herbert, I find it hard. Like if Jefferson,

if the Vikings made the playoffs, their seventh seed, and the Chargers go 3-13 or 4-12, something like that, I think Jefferson's going to be the rookie of the year. They could do it.

It's tightened up. He was minus 1,200, Herbert, going into today. That's got to be down to minus 550. I don't know. If that team goes, like, 4-12,

does he run away with it? I'm betting Jefferson tomorrow. All right. The other thing we had today, we had fantasy football. This was a deciding week for anybody who's in a conventional league. There were a couple murderers. Herbert was just an absolute serial killer today. I think in our league, he finished with like six and a half points,

killed our friend Louis K. Right. Derek Henry is another one who's disappointing. Kyler Murray, a little disappointing. Who else? Let's see. Well, I guess Taysom Hill wasn't disappointing. He was good.

Are people starting him? They're starting. Yeah. You understand he's a Swiss Army Knight. If I have to hear that one more time, that Taysom Hill is a Swiss Army Knife. Like what? What does he do? He throws and he runs. What part? What are the five parts of a Swiss Army Knife?

Like a lot of quarterbacks throw and run and do it better than he does. But he had a good day. I'm not going to pick on him. Who was a fantasy killer? I guess Russell Wilson was a fantasy killer. Yeah not going to pick on him. Who was a fantasy killer? I guess Russell Wilson was a fantasy killer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was good, right? Mahomes didn't do as good as he normally does.

I don't know if you would start. Well, Rivers wasn't bad. No, yeah, there weren't too many. Oh, speaking of announcers. Yeah. There's this epidemic now of announcers saying somebody doesn't get enough credit, which I think Mark Jackson started. Mark Jackson popularized because that was every NBA game. He was just talking about LeBron James doesn't get enough credit for

being a good passer and stuff like that. Today, I heard the best one yet. Chris Carson caught a screen pass. He ran like six yards. They've shown the replay and the announcer goes, Chris Carson just doesn't get credit for how good of a pass catcher he is he doesn't get credit i'm like who's having chris carson conversations should we should we work on that maybe on monday at one o'clock i'll have a chris carson conversation try to give him credit yeah well didn't he miss a month i think last week was his first time back in a month who's having who's talking about him for three minutes how much credit should he get right

i don't know how much credit we should give him yeah so people listening if any announcer over the next couple weeks can top that one for somebody who didn't get enough credit uh that's a good one that's a tough cross off teams so we have to redo the cross-ups yeah we crossed off the giants people really upset and the patriots we crossed off two teams that now have to be uncrossed all right so it's a wacky year we we reserve the right to uncross i think yeah so i basically started over here's the here are the cross-off teams now giants jets jaguars bang Bengals. Oh, Giants are out. We crossed the Giants off first. Jets, Jaguars, Bengals, Texans, Chargers,

Panthers, Bears, Lions, Falcons, and I think today we crossed off the Broncos. Yeah, we could cross off the Broncos. So I think that's our list. I looked carefully. Everyone else is still alive, including your terrible team. We could do two. I think we could do back-to-back NFC East teams

in the next two weeks. Yeah, when can we do a Loser Leaves Town match with anybody? We could do Eagles, Washington team, or my team. Two of the next two weeks. Out of those four teams, what would be the worst team to root for? Because I think it's the Eagles. The Wednesday is appalling. Everyone's talked about the $59 million

cap figure, but just going forward, I don't know what you do with that because they should clearly play Jalen Hurts the rest of the way. I don't know if they will, but you can't get off the Wednesday and he's just like this albatross that hangs over you now. The Philadelphia Eagles

in itself, and you said it, like Nick Foles, I hate to say that Patriots fans are tortured, but you did say this guy was good for six weeks. I did. I said that on Tech Start today. We caught him one of those weeks. You caught him one or two of those weeks, I guess

if you count the Super Bowl period. And I'm starting to feel that way with Wentz. He only doesn't last until December. Only a couple of Decembers he made it this far. And then we're seeing, I don't know, is it a thing where the quarterback gets too much credit if he's good and too much shit if he's bad? Is that what's going on with Wentz?

Or is he really, really that bad? No, he's terrible. Yeah. He's been awful the whole year. But then, so what is it with Hurts? Why didn't he come in? Was he really just not ready? I mean, he wasn't great today either.

He brought them back against a pre-event defense, but I guess he has to start. Is he 5 for 12, 109, one interception, one touchdown? 29 runs. Something like that. I don't know. Foles was 8-2 in 2013. He was 4-1 during

that 2018 stretch and then 3-0 in the playoffs. So he's had two good two-month stretches. And other than that has been mediocre or worse. I think he just has a maniacal giggle. He just goes through life giggling

like just a madman at what he's accomplished. I don't find it funny at all. All right. We're going to do a guest line, so let's take one more break. There's a reason why FanDuel is America's number one sportsbook. FanDuel makes it easy to find and place your bets. Great odds on all different betting markets,

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800 Gambler in Jersey, Pennsylvania, Illinois. 800-889-9789 in Tennessee. 1800 Gambler.net in West Virginia. And by the way, before we get to Guess the Lines, I wanted to mention that there's a new Rewatchables coming on Monday night. If you like football, which you probably do because you're listening to this, the program with me and Kyle Brandt and Ryan Rosillo. A lot of testosterone in that podcast.

It's coming late Monday night, so be ready for that one. All right, let's do Guess the Lines. Thursday night game. Rams-Patriots. I've been waiting for the Patriots to come to LA to play road games for a long time. And it finally happens that it's a pandemic. Couldn't see them this week. Won't see them Thursday night unless somebody sneaks me in in a disguise.

Why don't we just hang out in the parking lot? We'll figure something out. To get arrested? Yeah. I don't love this matchup for the Pats. I think the Rams defense is really, really good. I think they can run the ball. I just think they're a good team.

Whether they're the third, fourth, fifth best team in the NFC, I don't know, but I think they're a good team. Whether they're the third, fourth, fifth best team in the NFC, I don't know, but I think they're good. I have the Rams favored by four and a half over the Pats. That's exactly what I had. And we went too light. Six and a half, they're making it. So that's a Thursday night thing.

That's why it's so high, you're saying? Yeah, because the Pats played and four days later, they had to stay over there. They must have decided that was worth two extra points. Well, we have to trust Jared Goff on three days rest. I don't know if that's the way to look at it, but yeah, that must be why it's so high.

I like the vibe of this Pats team. And again, I am a guy who has bet against them and lost twice a season and thought they were terrible, but there's, and you crossed them off worse than that. You know, it turns out,

Sal, you know, who doesn't get enough credit for being a good coach? Bill Belichick. Well, this is why. Who did you just say earlier is going to get coach of the year?

Who did you say has to get it? I forget. Who did you just say? Well, we said Tomlin or Stefanski. Oh, Stefanski you were saying. Yeah. I'm with Bill. Even if he doesn't make the playoffs at 8-8,

I've talked about this. The most COVID opt-outs, just garbage, garbage. We're praising Gunner, for God's sakes. He's the third most talented skill position player on the team. You're doing 10 minutes on Damian Harris. Wikipedia is just like, all right, just come back later. We'll have something for you. You have a quarterback that doesn't throw for 100 yards.

If they go 8-8 and don't make the playoffs, it's Belichick, who hasn't know. You have a quarterback that doesn't throw for 100 yards. If they go 8-8 and don't make the playoffs, it's Belichick who hasn't won the award in a decade. The Boston Globe has this good writer named Chad Finn

who's been there for a while and a nice guy who always tries to write like, you know, more thoughtful type of sports pieces. He annihilated Nikhil Herr

on Saturday. Wrote this whole piece about how he's one of the biggest busts in Patriots history. And my dad and I were like, wow, if Chad Finn turns on somebody on the Patriots, you know the guy's a bust. That's funny. He caught a touchdown today. I couldn't believe it. Nikhil Harry.

Nikhil Harry did? Yeah, it was almost like they were intentionally trying to go to him. Take that, Chad. Yeah. No, Colin was 100% justified. My dad and I were on the phone trying to figure out all the things he could have even thrown in beyond what he had. But yeah, Belichick, if coach of the year was like you had to give speeches explaining why you thought you were the coach of the year, Belichick would have to start with, look, my quarterback can't complete a 10-yard pass. Right.

And I'm 6-6. Yeah, yeah. Did you think it was right, though, when he was leaving the – he was leaving L.A. today. He said, screw you, snowflakes, to the security guards and just took off. He hates California. He didn't say that. He didn't?

You're making stuff up. Come on. He must have been happy to win 45-0 against a soft California team. It's like, we're out of here. I'll tell you this. I feel better about the Rams game based on how that second half went where they got to rest guys.

The fact that Harris only had 16 carries I think was huge. Because the only way they're going to beat the Rams is if Harris throws the team on his back. Why don't you interview Cam this week? Why don't you find out where they're staying don't you find out where they're staying? I'll find out where they're staying. It's a Fox game.

Go interview them. Belichick's the guy. They're here all week. Well, yeah. Will he talk to you? I would just want to nerd out. I wouldn't ask him anything about the team, anything he wouldn't answer.

It would be all nerdy stuff. Who's the best safety you ever saw? I know he wants to talk about that stuff. Don't ask him that. Who cares? He wants to just tell five-minute Ed Reed stories. That's the point of life. Sunday marquee game. Yeah.

Chiefs at Miami? I hadn't looked at this. I go Chiefs at Miami. I think you're right. I had the Chiefs favored by six over Miami. So you're picking that. I'm sorry. I got this exactly right.

I think it's the only one I got exactly right. I said seven and a half. Okay. But so that's better than Arizona Giants, Minnesota, Tampa Bay. I just think when there's no marquee game, if it's Mahomes against another playoff team, it's got to be that. That's got to be the game.

Mahomes against Tua. That's fun. Like, if you're CBS, where are you sending Romo this week? I'm sending him to Chiefs Miami. Yeah, well, those other games are NFC games. But, yeah, I think that he definitely – they have to go there. Well, look, this is a nice test for Miami because

Flores will come up with at least a couple things to kind of let them hang around he's a fighter Flores he almost beat the crap out of the whole Bengals team I fucking love that guy god damn that was the best I love that so much he really wanted to fight that dude on the Bengals.

That was great. He was a maniac. He did the same thing twice. I know. You ever hear of the halo rule? You're not allowed within three yards of the guy, let alone dumping your helmet into his stomach when he's not looking. They really just can't figure out the punt return rules.

Everything they try to make it more safe with like, oh, onside kick, we've done this, we've done this. And it's like, punt returners, either the guy gets hit too early or somebody's trying to hit him right. As he's catching it, or as he's catching it, the guy's one yard away. And it seems like we don't care about these people at all.

It's the dumbest thing. We're going to see a point where it's just the punter. It's the snapper and guys rushing. And we're going to see where the ball lands. Nobody's going to be back there. It's going to be like three Mississippi on Thanksgiving and the family Thanksgiving game. You still have your blitz.

It's three Mississippi, except you have one blitz. What coach are you most jealous of? If you could steal a coach from any team, who would you steal? You could have him for the next 10 years. I don't want to say. I think I have to say judge. And here's why. I mean, Jerry Jones is in trouble.

This judge could be real... He could dominate this division for a little bit because he's winning in spite of Jason Garrett, who I'm going to kill everybody who's like, oh, Mike McCarthy. How do you like your Mike McCarthy? I bet you like Jason Garrett back. His offense is 15th in the conference.

There's only 16 teams in the conference. Even Jimmy Johnson said it on Fox. He's like, oh, Jason Garrett doing a great job with the Giants. I was like, no, he isn't. Yeah, they can't even get to 20 points. No, they ran the ball today. They did great. But, yeah, they don't score points.

I don't know. So when I say Joe Judge, it's twofold so i would say it would be fun if it would be fun if they had saquon i'm the most jealous of flores i love that guy oh yeah i love them when he was on the pats i love what he's done in miami and like to me it's like him and tomlin are my two are my two favorites tomlin's been around for a while now but flores like i really think he can build something with Miami. And when a coach does something like that, like those guys are going to fight for him forever after that.

Yeah, for sure. Yeah. I just, I'm not as excited about Miami or Arizona as I was like three weeks ago. You know, if those teams are to make the playoffs, the two,

a thing, Mike is sicky. What are we, what's, who are we going to root for? Well, one thing with Miami, though. I mean, how many running backs did they lose? They had another guy. Gaskin was started today. They started a different

running back five weeks ago. Yeah, he did well today. 90 yards, I think. The watchables. You mentioned it. Cards Giants. I'm betting the Giants. If they're underdogs in any conceivable way, I'm betting them.ants If they're underdogs In any conceivable way I'm betting them What do you think?

So it's either three or two and a half cards And I'm going to say cards by two and a half Over the Giants Son of a bastard It is two and a half I said two I would have liked to have tied that one If you said three

I love the Giants So we don't really have our many wins on arizona's schedule the rest of the way if you love the giants they play the rams again it's gonna be in la but here's the thing they're kind of done now now arizona if kyler's not gonna run anymore they're done right it's like if you if you were had the rockets and it was like yeah james hart it's not to shoot threes anymore. Like, okay, cool. They're going to suck.

Yeah, I think they're done. And I think he's hurt. And we've seen this every year. There's always a quarterback who's hurt. We know he's hurt. They always say he's fine. And then the season ends and it's like, oh, he had to get surgery for his shoulder. It's like Cam Newton that year.

No, no, he's fine. He's fine. I know he's not fine. I have fucking television. Right, right. Yeah. Yeah. He got something tweaked in his shoulder in It's like Cam Newton that year. He's fine. He's fine. I know he's not fine. I have fucking television. Right, right. Yeah. Yeah, he got something tweaked in his shoulder in February. Yeah, he's okay. He'll play out of it. World-renowned surgeon. Yeah. Next game, Bucks-Vikings.

I have this one for a variety of reasons. One is this feels like a classic put the Bucks in a tease and they're losing by 10 in the second quarter. And you start freaking out. Cousins versus Brady. I don't know which guy's going to suck, but it'll be one of them. And, and the bucks it's, it's crazy,

but it looks like they're almost guaranteed to be a playoff team. They're seven and five and they have Minnesota at Atlanta at Detroit, Atlanta left. So if they get through this game, they win this. They're good. They're going to be 11 and they have Minnesota at Atlanta at Detroit Atlanta left. So if they get through this game. They win this. They're good. They're gold. Yeah, they're going to be 11-5. And I don't think any of us like the Bucs that much,

but I had the Bucs by 7 at home over the Bucs. You get it. I said 5-1⁄2. It's 6-1⁄2. Yeah, this is – but you like Minnesota in this spot better than giving seven to the jaguar or nine to the jaguars or seven to caroline at home those that's where they fell right when they're laying that many points this is this is kind of where they could sneak up on a tampa team that has a buy not sure totally arians is doing the right thing to get them prepared for this

yeah it's funny there's certain teams where you just like them as a touchdown underdog. Right. I'm with you. Next one, Raiders-Colts. It's in Vegas. You know, if the Colts had lost that Houston game, I would say this was a loser-leaves-town match, but I don't think we can say that. I have the Raiders by two and a half over the Colts. Well, it's funny because I use this as an example

how I'm always wrong with the Colts. Like, they'll play a team, they're kind of about the same, and they go on the road and they're favored by three for reasons unknown. I said they'd be favored by two. They are favored by three, the Colts, on the road. I said the Raiders by two and a half. Yeah, I know.

The Colts are favored by three? Colts are favored by three. That's stupid. Romo might do this game, Romo Nance. Do you think Casey Miami over this? I don't agree with that line at all. The Colts are always favored on the road

unless they go to the Chiefs. Because Jacobs is playing next week. He is. People who care about fantasy. Last one for watchables. I don't know why I almost think I should take this off. Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. Let me see what you're thinking here. I don't know why I put this in the watchables. I can't even imagine. New Orleans, Philly? Who are you thinking of? I had 49ers, Washington. Oh. Nine and 13 combined? Well, there's legitimate playoff possibilities.

This is basically a loser-leaves-town match. Well, they still have to survive Monday, right? They both play Monday. Yeah, I'm assuming. I guess I put it in there because I think if the Niners beat Buffalo and then Washington lost to the Giants twice, so they're a game behind the Giants. They basically can't lose again. So I was thinking

this had playoff implications. I'm probably wrong. I had the 49ers favored by six and a half over Washington. I don't know why I went so low. I said three and it's... Oh, I get it though. It's four. Oh, shit. Yeah, I'm closer. Wow. I'll take that. vegas no respect for the niners

no i guess maybe even playing in arizona freaks people out right all right uh barely watchables so many this one is barely watchable panthers broncos Could have put this in the poopfecta, but there is some fantasy guys in this. I didn't want to put any possible fantasy stuff in the poopfecta. I had the Panthers by six. Wow.

We split this. I had two, and it's four. Okay. Let's please not have a single bet tied to this game yeah done next one barely watchable seahawks jets you would say why is this in the poopfecta i think the jets are barely watchable every week because watching them try to uh tank to go on 1616 is compelling. I'm going to say Seahawks by 13. You're going to get it. I went high.

I was mad at the Jets. I said 15.5. It's 13.5. Okay. Let's see what the score is. It's 5. We're knotted up at 5. Packers-Lions is our next one. The Lions, we didn't even talk about what a ludicrous game that was.

I actually lost the bet. I had the Bears. I had them too. And the Patriots parlayed. Ugh. And I just thought it was 30-20. I thought it was done. All of a sudden, the Lions scored. I still wasn't paying attention.

It was the classic red zone, Trubisky. I'm like, what? And I got Trubisky'd. And he was fine the whole game. I know I'm a Trubisky. I'm like, what? And I got Trubisky. And he was fine the whole game. I know I'm a Trubisky truther, but yeah, he got in the strip sack. And that's it. Otherwise, he didn't turn the ball over. But only the Bears could be up 10 with three minutes left and lose in regulation.

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And I don't know how the Lions won. Swift didn't play. Gallaudet didn't play. It was the classic, yet again, new coach and they win for the new guy and win in a ridiculous game. I had the Packers by nine in Detroit. Oh, wow.

And you get it, too. I said five and a half. It's seven and a half. Wow, nine. All right. So is that a teaser game or you don't trust Aaron Rodgers? No, I trusted him this week. I enjoyed trusting him. I think Chiefs-Packers, we put that in tonight.

Okay. Who's screwing that up? Well, I don't like that they're both on the road, but they do need to keep winning. Packers have the division. I'm good with that. I'm texting. I'm good with that right now

You check your Twitter replies, I'm never on Twitter Every year we talk about There's one week Which is the Michael Conrad Memorial Let's be careful out there It's either week 13 or week 14 When a lot of big underdogs End up upending teases

And parlays, and I think it's week 14 Yeah, and I think 14 was the moment We had that ill-fated three-teamer we talk about where the Dolphins Patriots that Monday night, right? I think that was week 16. Oh, it was 16? Yeah. Oh, all right. Because it's really my Christmas.

Stay away from 13, 14, and 16. That's all you got to do. You'll be fine. Stay away from every week from 1 through 7. Yeah. Next barely watchable, Saints-Eagles. I would have put this in the Poop Fecta because the Eagles are so atrocious, but I do feel like they're going to play Jalen Hurts,

and I do want to see some of that. I have the Saints favored by 8 over the Eagles. All right. I said 5.5. It's 6.5, so I get that. And that's another teaser game, right? Philly's just free falling. I don't care who they're taking snaps back there.

When was the last time the Eagles covered? That's a really good question. Have they covered in November and December? Were there any preseason games this year? No. Peterson's another one who, you know, he's got to be another one who you know he's got to be another one who won't have a job next year

it was Frank Reich right? aren't we seeing that now? it was all Frank Reich when did they cover last? let's see are you looking at their schedule? yeah it's been a while 23-17 they lost to Seattle.

Oh, they lost Monday. Did they cover that game? Oh, no, it was in Seattle, right? Oh, they had that garbage cover. The line moved to six and a half. Oh, you're right. Yeah, but before that, it had been a while. They tried.

They almost covered today. They had the ball down seven. Last barely watchable is Char falcons chargers chargers are uh home um i think it'd be cool if dan quinn came out and did the pregame coin toss you see dan quinn on the sideline with anthony lyn. He's just like rubbing his shoulders. It's not that bad, buddy. I don't agree with this line, but I think this is what it's going to be because the Chargers have this weird respect every week, even though they're three and nine. I have the Chargers by one over the Falcons.

My head hurt thinking about this. So I just said, pick them. And it's Atlanta by two and a half. God damn it. So who gets it? Me? My head by two and a half god damn it so who gets it me my head still hurts okay you get it i got it atlanta by two and a half we should probably not bet this one either please falcons were frisky today i know i think they had a bunch of chances to win that game or screw up the Saints minus two and a half, and they didn't. I actually bet the Saints today.

They keep you in every game. They play tough every week. They had a monster rushing day, didn't they? Yeah. Kamara had 88. Hill had 83. 207 rushing. The Falcons are going to have one of those seasons that will be studied by scientists

100 years from now trying to figure out what happened. The poop fact that three games, first one is bears, Texans. It's in Chicago. Trubisky has elicited a strange emotion from the bears fans. They're now lying to people in their lives about how they're actually happy. The bears lost today. Like when he gets that, no, no their lives about how they're actually happy the Bears lost today. Like when he gets that, no, no, it was good. It was good that we lost that.

It was a good outcome. It's what we wanted. Well, now they have to face... We're from multiple Bears fans saying that today. They have to face Watson, who they passed up in the draft, right? So that's always fun when they come to town. At least there's no fans there, really. You know, the Bears, they don't get enough credit

for passing up to Sean Watson and Pat Mahomes. We brought up every minute. Let's give them credit for that. Finally. I have, God, I'll tell you what I did first. I said,

again, I didn't want to hurt my head. I said, pick them. What do you think? I really wanted to have Houston favored. And then I thought about all the games Houston's lost this year and it seemed inconceivable to have them as a road favorite

so I had the Bears minus one. I'm doing well with these pick-ems. It's Houston minus one and a half. Jesus. Fucking stupid. That's another one. Bet on that game you have a gambling problem. Sal and I have a gambling problem and we would have bet on that game.

Man, that game. There will be a couple fantasy guys in that game. Yeah, there's a bunch. There's a bunch. Your favorite, Cole Komet, one of them. Cole K. Two more. Cowboys, Bengals.

It's in Dallas. What is this? This is a poop factor game? The red rifle coming back to town? This is the devilish. This is like a diarrhea sewage game? The red rifle coming back to town? This is the definition. This is like a diarrhea sewage leak FECTA. Oh, no. I had the Cowboys by two and a half over the Bengals.

We split this. I had three and a half. It's three. Wow, that's awful. That's fair. That's as fair as it gets. What happened to Cincinnati? I thought they were driving before the half to go up on Miami,

and then Miami had the ball at the goal line. I wasn't watching what happened. That core rock's not very good. I'm not sure the Bengals coach is good. Because you look at what Burrow got hurt. We watched Burrow for

10 weeks worrying that he was going to get hurt because he was getting the shit kicked out of him. It was like, maybe don't get Joe Burrow hurt. Should have been the goal of the year. Were you trying to make the playoffs? You're not making the playoffs. I don't know.

Sean McVay loves that guy. He loved him. He'll be rehiring him in about a year. They have 40 yards rushing a game. I don't know what's exciting. Without who am I even thinking of? Who's the Bengals running back? hiring them in about a year. They have 40 yards rushing a game. I don't know what's exciting. Who am I even thinking of?

Who's the Bengals running back? Mixon. Mixon is nothing. Last poop fact, the Titans-Jags. I did Titans by eight. That's a good number. I said nine. It's six and a half. That's in Tennessee, by the way.

There's too many road. It's in Jacksonville, right? Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. It's in Jacksonville. Well, you get it anyway. But doesn't it seem like there's too many road teams around six and seven that are going to screw us on a teaser?

Way too many. This looks like the week 14. Be careful week. Eight to nine to eight. I'm going to confess something to you right now yeah i don't think this will be a breakout video for the ringer.com i can't see this getting a lot of hits on twitter which one what i'm about to tell you oh good i don't even know how they would do a headline for this and how they would cut into video mike glennon i think is my favorite of the bad qbs if you don't line them all up,

and be like, who gives me my best chance to lose in overtime on a game-losing field goal? But I kind of feel like it was a spirited effort, and he made some plays, and the fans of the other team were nervous a couple times, and it was always in danger that he might foil the other team's three-team tees. Glennon's just confident enough that if you close your eyes,

you think he might've been like a former first round pick or something. Yeah. Not bad. 28 for 42, 280 at a touchdown in there. He's not terrible. I'm telling you, he's not terrible. I don't even know who the competition is because everyone else is like either really good or a middle-class quarterback that drives you nuts,

like Stafford or cousins or something like that. Who's a, who's another one. I'm not going to say it would be the bad guys. I'm talking like Cincinnati quarterback backups. Yeah. All right. I'll go with Glennon.

I don't even know who, uh, Sam Darnold, Sam Darnold. Well, the, the all time example of this Was Case Keenum

For years He was like I kind of like Case Keenum Yeah that's true And then he actually Almost made the Conference finals Yeah

Nick Foles is my favorite Yeah Nick Foles is another one But is there Is there like a difference Between Mike Lennon And Nick Foles I'm not sure I think Mike Lennon

Would smack you in the face If you compared him To Nick Foles He's definitely not As hung as Nick Foles Two more games Sunday night Bill Steelers, classic Good one

It's in Buffalo I'm a half a point off, I'll tell you that You need to make up one to time it I don't think the Bills can be favored Even though the game's in Buffalo, but I think the line is going to be low. I have it. Steelers by

two and a half. Come on. You looked at this one. Did not look at this one. I hate I'm going to lose now. Did I get it? I had Steelers by two. It's exactly two and a half. Let me rerun these numbers. It's the right line. Three, four, five, six. Yeah, it's

nine to nine, and I was bad on this last line. Leaving it open for you. That's a good game. That's a really... I mean, you don't have to hear from me that that's a good game, but I'm excited about that as a Sunday nighter. We talked about the Seattle home field. This is one...

I don't know how much of a home field would make a difference for this one, but from a viewing experience to a Sunday night Bills and Bills Mafia, all that stuff, and we didn't rehash all that. Just would have been an awesome atmosphere. This probably would have been the game of the year. Yeah, you're right. And it's not much travel for Pittsburgh, although they're coming off a short week.

The Bills had – wait, the Bills had a bye this for Pittsburgh, although they're coming off a short week. The bills had, wait, the bills had a buy this week. No, they didn't have a buy. What did they do? Oh, they had a buy this week.

Am I crazy? Oh, they did. I thought just Tampa and Carolina. Yeah. Monday night, the Browns, who we probably jinx, but by leaving the podcast with them,

they're playing the Ravens. We have no idea. First of all, this is such a weird week 13 where all these fantasy matchups are being decided. We're taping our pod. There's still three games left. Two of them are staggered tomorrow, and then there's another one on Tuesday.

So you won't even know if you made your fantasy playoffs until Tuesday. I had to start Trubisky this week because I wasn't sure if Lamar was going to start Tuesday. So you won't even know, like if you made your fantasy playoffs until Tuesday, I have to start Trubisky this week. Cause I wasn't sure if Lamar was going to start Tuesday. And even though he was taken off the COVID list, but I just didn't want to chance it. And I should. And he might not be even like 80% because the COVID is definitely messed up people.

So I had the Browns favored by three and a half at home. Yes. I have Browns favored by three and a half at home over the last year. Oh, yes. I have Browns by two, and it's Ravens by one. Oh, wow. Really? Yeah. That's the line? Could they be the nobody believes in us team two weeks in a row?

Oh, my God. I think the Browns are better than the Ravens. You're taking Cleveland plus seven on a teaser. I'm really surprised by that line. You're going to go crazy on that. They beat them really bad last time, right? I was going to say, is that why? It's got to have something to do with it.

Baltimore, and it's more of a kitchen sink game for Baltimore, but five days rest probably shouldn't have been favored. So we split. No, I won. You tied it. You won on that hell yeah i did four five six seven eight nine ten i thought it was up 10 to 9 no you tied it with the last one oh i had minus two that's all right listen you have like a five week no you have a eight four and two now no man 14 weeks. 14 weeks. I could choke that away. That's the plan. Here we go.

Here we go. Congratulations. All right. We're going to take a break and then we'll do Parent Corner. All right. It's time for Parent Corner brought to you by CarMax, America's number one used car retailer. Whether you're buying or selling,

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All right. What do you got, Seth? All right. Your daughter, my son, are about the same age. How's your daughter doing with driving? Oh, terrible. She hasn't even really signed up for the... Right.

She's totally slacked. That's where my guy is. Nothing. I think he can get a permit now, but he won't. He's not motivated enough to go anywhere and get it. Now, nobody wants to go anywhere. Anyway, my wife took him out driving, and she came back. She looked like she had seen 16 ghosts.

She was Sam Darnold out. I was like, what happened? She's like, it was bad. I was like, did he hit anything? She's like, he almost hit everything. He almost killed a postman. He was making bad turns. The turning radius is tough.

I'm like, why don't you take him to a big parking lot first? Why are we on actual streets with real cars competing? So anyway, that didn't go well. So that's not going to happen anytime soon. And he's got like four friends he sees. And it's like, everyone's got to be careful now. It's crazy time. So I was like, okay, if it's really just these four friends,

and you're really the only people you guys was like, okay, if it's really just these four friends and you're really the only people you guys are seeing aside from each other's families, then we'll keep this going until shit gets really crazy, which shit's about to get really crazy. So he keeps this going. The problem is they want to see each other all the time. So Friday he's out all day and I know he can't drive and I know he's a terrible driver. I wouldn't even let him drive now if I could. And he comes back about seven o'clock and he's like, Hey, I want to go to so and so's house at a, at 10. I was like, no, fuck you're in for the night. That's it. I don't want to have to drive. Like I'm, you know, I'm, I'm rooting some college football game about to lose. I'm in a bad mood. I'm like, I don't want to take you four miles away. He's like, well, here's the thing. You could take me at 10 or you could take

me and I'd sleep over or you could take me at six in the morning because we're going to go surfing. And I'm like, get in the car. We're going now. We'll go with 10. I'm not fucking waking up on Saturday. The one day I could sleep in, I'm not waking up at like 540 to get you to a friend's house to surf that's crazy so we pack the surfboard in the car he goes sleeps over i'm done with him i tell my wife she's like oh that's bullshit this is crazy like and then she's got on her phone she's got um what is it called life 360 like yeah i told you about you told me about this life life is over 360 life is over for everyone you could really just spot anyone wherever they are.

Yeah. So she wakes up. I tell him, I guess he's going surfing at six. So we'll just get rid of them the night before she wakes up like six 45. She's like, Oh, you're not going to believe this.

I'm like, what, what, what? You're not going to believe this. He's not surfing yet. He's still at his friend's house. I'm like,

the whole point of this was so that I could sleep in. And now you're checking. You're like a to believe this. He's not surfing yet. He's still at his friend's house. I'm like, the whole point of this was so that I could sleep in. And now you're checking, you're like a Columbo, like this detective. I got to see. All right, fine. He lied. And like, so then like he ends up not surfing until like 11 AM. And so it ends up, my wife is really upset about it. I'm like, all right.

So I'm just, I think we're at a position where they're just lying to us now. Right. Almost all the time. I think that's where we are. Yeah. Yeah. And we're not getting sleep no matter what. The best thing we have is we used to be that age. So we know what starts happening around now where it's just constant fibs and lies. Yeah. Yeah. There's tons of things I wouldn't want my parents to know, But I don't know why I expect better. Anyway, that's it. Well, the COVID thing, you know, it took a step back, to say the least. Yeah.

And now it's like we're back to square one. And especially in California, they had a shutdown thing that started tonight. And it just seems like, um, you know, we, we double dated with you and your wife, what, three weeks ago, we sat outside, those days are over. Um, I know more and more people in my peripheral life who are getting it, or their son got it, or the brother got it, or somebody got it. And it's just like getting scared and scared. And I think everybody's hitting the point like, fuck that. I'm not going out. I don't want to go anywhere. And I think my family's starting to look at each other like, we're kind of all good with hanging out 24 hours a day. They say that the pandemic, there's more divorces, stuff like that. That's not going to be my family, but we're all kind

of just tired of each other. Last night, I got the idea that we're all going to be stuck together for the next three months. This is the perfect time for us to get a puppy. If we're ever going to do it, we should have a puppy. Well, you have a dog, right? Or two? You have two. We have three dogs. Three.

But they're all rescue dogs. We never had any of them as like a puppy. We haven't had a puppy since Rufus, my beloved Rufus. Our first two Goldens we had were puppies that we did the whole thing. We basically got them in eight weeks. And so one thing leads to another. And my wife had a few drinks in her and all of a sudden now we're locking down this puppy for Friday. And the whole family, it's been this jolt of adrenaline with, cause cause we figured out how to pull off a golden and we haven't had a golden since Rufus died. And we've, we started out with LA two goldens that are, I wrote a column about one of them. And then after that, we just did rescues and we never wanted to ever get another puppy again but the fact that we can't go anywhere for three months

this is actually like the perfect time we actually have the time we could all like kind of chip in and take care of a puppy yeah i want to clean shit all day i'm home why not yeah take it for take them out for 20 pisses all that stuff so um i can't tell you it's it's been a jolt of electricity to our family and i heard you're out there you got no no this was this was the last 24 hours this has happened so this this friday we're getting a puppy and now i have something to look forward to that's not just like being in the house with the same three people and the same three dogs it's like a whole new life i'm so fired up so i urge everyone out there to go without the dog nice get a dog i like the new thing it'll feel like

something happened i'm with you i was like montana the fucking pandemic go get a dog i was sitting there thanksgiving i'm like i'm looking around i'm like same freaking people better food that's it and no th Thursday night game. So I don't know. Yeah, get a dog. Yeah, Friday night. First of all, my wife and I, I think I've watched every movie that's ever come out.

And we were watching Black Bear with Aubrey Prosley, which is actually pretty good, this indie movie. And then afterwards, she's like, I'm bored. I'm like, I'm bored too. It's a fucking pain in the... She's like, we never do anything. It's like, what are we going to do? Do you want to drive around the block?

There's nowhere to go. You want to teach my son how to drive? If you're bored, come on out. I was supposed to go to Arizona for soccer this weekend. It got canceled 24 hours before, so that's done. My daughter's like, I'm never going to play soccer again. She's upset. I know. It's a bummer.

And we're in a race against the vaccine too. It'd be one thing if this thing wasn't coming out until September. Forget it. I'm not beating the deadline. I'm going to get this thing before September, but there's a chance we could not get it. So you got to obey the rules.

It's going to go to healthcare workers first, which it should. And then to people over 90. Right. No, 70, whatever. My dad's like, I'm in the second group. Your dad barely could figure out how to get COVID tested a couple weeks ago. I know.

He was standing in a drive-thru. Is Anthony Lynn getting it there? Oh, he already had it. So he's all right. I think Anthony Lynn's been running the pandemic. Yeah, no, this is crazy. This is, what already had it, so he's all right. I think Anthony Lynn's been running the pandemic. Yeah. Yeah, no, this is crazy. This is, what's today's date?

It's December. December 6th. December 6th, so we're coming in on month 10. Yeah. Anyway, I'm getting a dog. Fuck it. Now we're going to have four dogs. I can't believe you're outnumbered at your house by canine to human.

Well, we figured Olivia is going to die at some point soon, canine to human well we figured like olivia is gonna die at some point soon the little dog that i don't like that much so that will be back down to three so she'll be she can be a salary cap casually well i i have a different thing we adopted one in april he had gotten yeah the dog had gotten hit by a car in mexico and he's like you know he's like cross-eyed he like limps he's a total mess you know we take him for a walk you're underselling this dog this is like probably the greatest dog I've ever met

and part of the reason we want to get another dog yeah Dave you named him Dave Super Dave yeah I named him Super Dave after Super Dave Osborne but he's on his feet probably 40 minutes out of 24 hours he's on all fours he's barely a dog. He doesn't do anything.

And now he's not eating and everyone's freaking out. He hasn't eaten in two days. And I looked at him like, listen to you, motherfucker. Everyone's depressed enough. Don't you dare die on us. You've got to survive until the Q2 of 2021. And then we can make arrangements for your funeral. But he's got to stick with it.

That's the problem. They got to stay alive. Your dog that you adopted, Dave, who was in a very major car accident and barely survived. And it's fair to say might have a screw loose. Sure. Just a great look on his face. I love them. My kids love that dog. They did? Oh, yeah. Dave was a big hit with my fam.

You may end up with five dogs then, if you like them that much. I never wanted four dogs, but you know what? Really looking forward to Friday. I'll put a picture on Instagram. Please do. Yeah, we're out there. Now we're thinking of names. It's put a picture on Instagram. Please do. Now we're thinking of names. It's like a whole new energy in our house. Oh, right.

Is it a boy? You know if it's a boy or girl? Yeah, it's going to be a boy. Oh, so you're going to go. Wow. What can you do? No, I'll reveal the name next week. I'm going to name you Dwayne Harris.

After the greatest running back. Damienris damien harris damien oh because damien's a good name damien's a good throw that one in yeah i actually was seriously thinking about mookie because then i mookie would stay in my life after the fucking red sox traded him at least i would have a mookie in my life the other mookookie that killed you 35 years ago. Well, that's another reason why it can't happen. I'll reveal the name next week. All right. Exciting. People are depressed about

the pandemic. Just go get a dog. It'll lighten up the mood for three, four weeks. All right. That was Parent Corner brought to you by CarMax, America's number one used car retailer. It's car buying, car selling the way it should be. Check them out today at CarMax.com. Cous, what do you have to plug? Fox Bet Live, 5 p.m. Eastern on FS1.

Actually, 4.30 tomorrow, but 5 p.m. usually on FS1. I am the king of the week. Extra Points Podcast Network. Listen to a bunch of sports gambling podcasts on there. Against All Odds crew and I will go over most of the games that Bill and i just hit uh for week 14 and oh i have my book you can't lose them all uh you could pre-order on barnes and noble and what's the other one amazon right yeah you can amazon i've heard of amazon

yes yes that's a big one too now i bet my publisher that i would get to 1,000 pre-orders, and I'm so confident, Bill, that I'm going to do this, that I'm donating $10 for every pre-order, every pre-sale from now until January to World Kitchen. You helped me work this out. $10 per pre-order, hoping to get 1,000, so that would be $10,000. They represent Chefs for America. They're partnering with restaurants to help meet the demand for providing jobs for their staff and meals for those in need. You've donated to them, right? World Kitchen? You've done a 30 million meals served just by my book. You can't lose them all. And yeah, people will get to eat. Isn't that a good deal? You get good gambling stories. Basically, it's this podcast come to life.

That's all it is. Yeah. What friend of yours is in the book the most? Am I in the top three? I would say you're in the top three, Harry, and probably Daniel, our friend Daniel. Oh, my God. There's a lot. There's a lot of stories where you and Daniel are in the same way. I compare your two ways of playing blackjack.

He would go three hands. If he loses, he's out, and we don't see him. You'll play throughout the night at the same table. They're lifting your legs to vacuum at six in the morning that kind of thing daniel is probably a top three our most fun friend yeah top two for sure and least fun person to play blackjack with but then also takes it personally when you tell him this it's like my job's to make money buddy i'm not here to entertain you but he says that about you too right It's like, my job's to make money, buddy. I'm not here to entertain you. But he says that about you too, right? He's like, oh, Bill's smoking and he's serious and he's not funny.

I don't know. I think you're both amusing. You're just sick. I'm going to go get a dog. All right. I'm going to go read Damien Harris's Wikipedia page again. Cuz, good job by you. Good job by you, Billy.

That's it for the podcast sorry about the audio issues from my end I'll make it up to you with a couple more awesome podcasts this week the program

on the rewatchables feed on Monday two more podcasts in this feed Tuesday and Thursday and then a new book of basketball podcast on Wednesday

don't forget about TV concierge on Spotify and don't forget to subscribe to ring or dish if you love the challenge for me and Jacoby. We have a little treat for you. So that's it. See you in a couple days.

Stay safe. I don't have feelings with him. On the wayside, never on the side.