The Bill Simmons Podcast - The Chiefs Win the Super Bowl and the Niners Blow It, With Cousin Sal | The Bill Simmons Podcast

Episode Date: February 3, 2020

HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss Super Bowl LIV, and whether the 49ers gave the game away or the Chiefs took it, or both. They talk bad bets, the halftime show, a ranking of the recent Super Bowls, Parent Corner, XFL, and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tonight's special post-Superbowl edition of the BS podcast on the ringer podcast network brought to you by zip recruiter. Finding key players for your team can be challenging. I would say finding key coaches can be challenging to the poor Niners. Oh my God. We're going to talk about them in a second. Cafe El Torres, CEO, Dylan Miskiewicz.

He could relate. He needed to hire a director of coffee, posted his job on zip recruiter, found the best person for the role in just a few days. Four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day. Right now, my listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free at ZipRecruiter.com slash BS. ZipRecruiter is the smartest way to hire. Meanwhile, introducing the new Microsoft Surface Laptop 3. With its beautiful touchscreen, you'll experience stunning graphics with razor-sharp resolution.

Now available with a 13.5 or 15-inch screen. And with the latest processors, there's no project the Surface Laptop can't handle. It's both light and powerful. You can get more done on the go. Visit surface.com slash laptop three to learn more. That is surface.com slash laptop three. Don't forget to check out the ringer.com where we have the football weekend covered in a variety of ways, not just with pieces, but with videos and podcasts and the ring NFL show Ryan Rosillo's podcast as well. You can check all of that out. Just go to the ringer. show Ryan Marcello's podcast as well.

You can check all of that out. Just go to the ringer.com and you'll find everything. And if you like the book of basketball 2.0 and the rewatchables, I have podcasts on both of those feeds coming this week. I think book of basketball is going to be Monday night. Rewatchables will be Wednesday night. So look out for those. And now we'll call the cuz first,

our friends from Pearl Jam. All right. Cousin Sal is on the line for the last time this football season. Fortunately, he had a long drive home from Glendale where he watched the Super Bowl, which allowed me about an hour and 20 minutes to just lick my wounds after one of the tougher gambling losses that I've had in a Super Bowl. Sal, did the Chiefs win this or did the Niners lose this? And if the answer is both, what is your percentage split?

Okay. Well, it has to be both. It has to be both because it's no coincidence that now Mahomes is 5-0 in games that he's been down double digits. So you got that. But it's also no coincidence that Kyle Shanahan, in his last fourth quarter Super Bowl drives that he's called, has gone three and fumble, six and punt. I'm stealing this off the internet.

I'm sorry for whoever did this. Four and punt, five and punt, three and punt, seven turnover downs, two and interception. So I want to say San Francisco. I'm going to say 60-40 San Francisco right there. Is that fair? Well, you left out the part that in his last two fourth quarter overtimes where he was the offensive coordinator for the Falcons against Patriots the other time. Outscored

46-0. I look at it this way. I had the big bet for plus 375 before the playoffs on San Francisco. It was 20 to 10. They get a pick. There's 12 minutes left. They have a phenomenal running game

that ends up finishing the game running for seven yards a carry. Yep. Like 20, 21 carries for 140 plus yards. I felt like the game was over. And I know Mahomes was on the other sideline and I know they've come back twice, but they have literally the perfect team in the league

to run out a game like that up 10 with momentum, with everything you want. And the play action was working and they had really figured out a way to control the pace. And when you look at those last three drives, it felt like the Chiefs were just sending the house and like screen passes were there, just all kinds of things.

There were false starts on the Niners side. They're not running when they should have won, bad plays. And I never like to use the word choke with sports because these guys are much better than we are, but they really blew it. That is one of the all-time we blew it Super Bowl losses, in my opinion.

I thought they, right, they kept their foot off the gas. And first of all, it happened at the end of the first half. I don't know what happened with that time management there. Kyle Shanahan didn't want to use a timeout. Looked like he was just happy, content to go in the locker room 10-10.

Yeah. But then gets a first down, like to the 40 about, right? And then has two timeouts, and then the drive fizzles. But who knows? If you start that drive at 127 instead of like 37, it's a different story. So yeah, they were conservative the whole time, right? So it's a key moment for a couple of reasons. One, they don't call timeout before the Chiefs punt.

So another 40 seconds runoff. By the time they get it, there's a little under a minute left. They're on their own 20. I was watching it thinking they're so afraid of the Chiefs. They don't even want to leave a scenario where Mahomes might get the ball back with 30 seconds left or whatever. But at the same time, if you look at the way they played pretty much this entire game, it was really kind of playing not to lose. They had field goals over and over again, and they had a lot of third and fives and third and fours where they...

Technically, if you're really going for the jugglers four down territory, at least a couple of times, they were always happy to settle for three. The fourth and two was pretty egregious in the second half, just because I don't know that I never felt like they tried to grab the game by its throat and you need points to beat this chiefs team. But when you think about the first 48 minutes of that game, it couldn't have gone better for them because they didn't try to grab the game by the throat, but they're still sitting there with the lead,

up 10, with the ball, with a running game that's gashing the Chiefs. And I think it's a colossal, we blew it loss. Even if you go back to the Seattle Pats game, where the Malcolm Butler pick Seattle was still making plays to win that game. You know, the Pats came down from 10, same way, but Seattle was still like throwing haymakers back.

They got that huge pass on the, on the crazy long ball down the field that set up the Lynch play. And, and, you know, I, I just felt like the Niners really rolled over the last 10 minutes. And that's before we get to the defensive side of things. It was really rough. I'm kind of in disbelief that they didn't win the Super Bowl. I know you're bummed, but I'm thinking about this from the other way. I think you'd wake up tomorrow morning more bummed if Jimmy G drove his team down the field.

This guy you got a second round pick for, wasted for, and won that game. You would have won money but all the jimmy g's better than brady what's brady doing brady inserts himself in commercials this is pathetic the patriots are pathetic i think we would have heard that would have been the narrative if the 49ers had won this starts uh you know either way i think we're going to start talk about starting a dynasty and i feel like we'll get we'll talk about odds next year's odds in a minute i I'm sure. But Patrick,

my homes is starting that right. When you have a quarterback that just comes back, it doesn't really matter what's going on. It seems to not get flustered at all. Yeah. That's a scary, scary team, but I want to give the chiefs a little credit.

They're running game. The, the biggest sucker bet was like the 49ers minus 33 and a half yards. I think it was. It was 36, 33 right in there over the Chiefs. It ended up 141 to 129 San Francisco. And that's misleading because Patrick Mahomes, in one of the worst Super Bowl bad beats I can remember, had 44 yards before he kneeled down.

His over-under was 29 and a half. He lost 15 yards on three kneel downs, ended up with 29. So they really did have more rushing yards than San Francisco. And you never, ever would have thought that. And that's why they won the game. That and the third and 15 play, I thought, in the fourth quarter was why they won. I want to go back later to all the things the Niners did wrong. And you're right.

We should praise the Chiefs. They had an awesome come-from-behind victory. They, I think, were, what, the fifth team to win a Super Bowl where at some point in the playoffs they were down 10. I remember seeing that tweet somewhere. Hold on, let me find that.

Down 10 three times. Scott Kazmar. He said only four out of 53 Super Bowl winners trailed by 10 plus in the playoffs until tonight. 1976 Raiders down 11 to New England. The Sugar Bear Hamilton game. The first horrible football loss I ever had. 2001 Patriots snow game. Some people call it tuck rule game. I call it snow game. 2014 Patriots, Seattle.

2016 Patriots, Atlanta, down 19. The Patriots were somehow involved. All four times this happened until today. So now we're talking five out of 53 where they've trailed by 10 plus and the Chiefs became the 15 to do it so there you go so i uh they deserve it they're the best i think they're the best right ravens got picked off bad job by them chiefs are the best team well let's talk about a couple huge plays. You have third and 15. That was it. On the Casey 35 was seven 35 left.

And at that point, the Niners felt like it seemed like they were controlling the line of scrimmage and their defense was really coming on. And Bosa had just an awesome two hour stretch there. And they decide to go for it. And they send the house, and they just miss Mahomes, and he chucks it up, and Tyreek Hill finally gets open. It was funny. I was watching the game with Kyle

and a couple other people, and none of us understood why Mahomes just doesn't chuck it up to his really fast receivers. Yeah, I was wondering why. Yes, because that was the, was that the second longest play from scrimmage at that point?

Oh, yeah. Or the longest for them? It's interesting. There's this whole thing with momentum in football. Some of the number nerdy people they're just adamant there's no such thing as momentum. You and I played sports and like to compete. You and I played sports and like to compete. You and I play blackjack and I think there's momentum in blackjack.

I just feel like momentum is a real thing. Of course it is. I've personally been involved too many times where something felt like it shifted and all of a sudden you're holding on for dear life. In that Chiefs game, it felt like something was shifting. The pace quickened and it felt like something was shifting. The pace quickened. And it felt like they were finding their mojo. And especially after that Tyreek Hill play. And then they kind of kept their foot in the throat a little bit. And they were able to get eventually the pass interference.

But at some point, I felt that momentum shifting. And I almost felt like Shanahan should have called a timeout. Almost like in basketball to try to cool off a hot shooter. Because you could feel it. You really could. And once they got it going, then it was like, oh, my God. And then it came down to the Achilles heel of this Niners team. What's going to happen if Jimmy G has to get a drive in

when it really, really matters? I don't think Shanahan likes to call timeouts. Maybe he doesn't know he has timeouts. Does he think he only has one per half? Yeah, maybe. He could have, right. You're right right he could have called one second half to slow down the momentum his defense looked tired that's for sure uh we talked about the first half the end of the first half john lynch calling a timeout from the booth i don't know maybe a gm should be allowed to call timeout forever why should a coach be allowed to call it he has no he's not on the field either extend it to the sky who cares let it be john lynch uh in the booth calling a timeout or a

luxury box but um yeah man i feel bad for shannon i really do like i don't know how you go to bed i don't know how you go into the locker room in half uh living with yourself but that that was a really bad play calling and it just did not come together again now we're going against one of the great quarterbacks we're going against one of the great quarterbacks we're going to see of our generation. So if anyone's going to do it to you, it might as well be him. But I thought it was a good game. I thought except for the third quarter,

I think we're trained to be like, when we don't see many Mahomes, we don't think it's a good game. But it was 10-10 at half, which was already more points than we had seen last year's Super Bowl. Third quarter, Mahomes does nothing, so we're back in that lull. And then fourth quarter was dynamite again. So I looked up 48 minutes into the game right after Mahomes threw his second pick. Jimmy G was 17 for 20 for 183 yards and a pick. So three for 11 the rest of the way? Yeah. And Mahomes was 18 for 29 for 172 and two picks.

Jimmy G rest of the way, three for 11, 36. Mahomes was eight for 13 for 114. Yeah. But you and me in-house, we were all texting about who the MVP was. And this was one of those games where when the Niners got the ball back 20 to 10. And at that point I had a whole commercial break to think about whether I wanted to hedge my Niners bet with you. And I'm just like, this is over. This is, they were put on earth to put the game away in this specific situation. I didn't want to hedge. Why am I

going to hedge? They're just going to run run for first downs the game's over um at that specific moment what do you think the uh the money line was um what what are they down 10 you say it was 2010 my home throws a pick niners were they were they plus 165 the chiefs yeah it was something like that i think the niners were uh two to one favorites. So there you go. So, um, well, I feel bad for anyone who didn't hedge there.

Uh, I also feel bad for anyone who had Sam Fran and the under on a teaser. Can you imagine you have San Francisco plus seven and a half and 60 and it's 20 to 10 going into the fourth quarter. Um, that's bad. And, uh, I don't know.

Should we talk about other crazy bets today? Mahomes' first touchdown, 23-1. That's nuts. He runs it in after they hand off twice, and he runs the option, actually, to get in there. Who's checked? First 49ers touchdown was 20-1. Mahomes' MVP, obviously, was even. Chiefs by 11-13 was 20-1. The Holmes MVP, obviously, was even. Chiefs by 11-13 was 16-1.

Oh, this is a good one. Gatorade, orange, 8-1. There's big, big Gatorade controversy. Well, you said there was a lot of action on the purple. A lot of action on the purple, which was 6-1 eight days ago. Kobe passes. Everyone goes nuts on purple. Could just as easily be yellow.

And purple ends up even at kickoff and ends up being orange, even though our friend Daniel was yelling that it might have been red. Oh, my God. Slug him. What were the odds of Andy Reid being in the exact same situation that he was in against the Patriots in the Super Bowl in February 2005, down 10 with like eight minutes left, but this time it actually went as well? Oh, yeah. You're right. Same thing.

How about what are the odds of Andy Reid out game managing three straight coaches in the playoffs? I was going to say Andy Reid might have gone down as the same Andy Reid we know with a bunch of wins and no Super Bowl to his credit except he met his match as far as a guy who could trade clock management woes with him.

Yeah, I was thinking about there's this, you know I love horror movies, there's this horror movie called It Follows where you have sex with somebody and then the evil beast transfers to the other person. Right. And I was wondering if that happened tonight

with Andy Reid and Kyle Shanahan. They didn't technically have sex. We don't know that. But the coming up short when it really truly matters thing might have been transferred tonight. And now it might be Kyle Shanahan's burden for the next 30 years. I did look at it, though. I was was like you know that because we had to go when you do an hour worth of

television on on one game for 10 straight days it becomes tedious like by friday i was showing graphics for teams with white uniform white jerseys are 14 and 4 against the spread in the last 18 everyone's going crazy i was like well what do you want me to do i don't want to show the same thing over and over i'm trying to hit this from another angle. But when we talked about a dynasty and sure, it's easy to say, all right, my homes is a better quarterback. They're, they're, you know, more set up for a dynasty, but I really thought Jimmy G wins this game. Even if he's not better than my homes, like I could see him winning more Super Bowls. They had the second youngest defense.

They could plug in any running back, San Francisco. Most of it would go crazy, but he was on five teams. Like I said, their defense is good. Defense is young. I don't know. It doesn't necessarily... Lou Williams is going to win more titles with the Clippers than Russell Westbrook is, right? It doesn't have to be the best at every position, but now I'm turned around. Lou Williams is going to win more titles with the Clippers than Russell Westbrook is, right? Right.

He doesn't have to be the best at every position, but now I'm turned around. I've gone 180 on that. Well, here's the crazy thing about this game. Yeah. If he just puts a little more air in that pass to Sanders, they take the lead. Yeah, you're right. With a minute and a half left. The guy was wide open.

He had him the whole time and he just chucked it too far. And you know, if he never, half the people I was watching that would said he could have, he could have lunged for it, but I think he lost it a little bit. Just put some air in it. Yeah. Um, I want to go over a couple of different points that they screwed up. Let's take a quick break. Let's take a break to talk about Rockstar Games, the evolving worlds of Grand Theft Auto Online and Red Dead Online. They had a record-breaking holiday season

with more players than ever before to celebrate. Rockstar is offering huge bonuses to players in both GTA Online and Red Dead Online starting January 30th. That already happened. Get a cash bonus of up to $2 million GTA by playing once each week before February 12th. that already happened get a cash bonus of up to 2 million GTA dollars by playing once

each week before February 12th Red Dead Online players will receive free gifts of items including the Gunslinger's Cache Bounty Hunter's Kit

and more with loads of new gameplay across two thriving living worlds there's never been a better time to play

GTA Online and Red Dead Online meanwhile we wear camouflage when we want to hide ourselves but what about when we use to play GTA Online and Red Dead Online. Meanwhile, we wear camouflage when we want to hide ourselves, but what about when we use public Wi-Fi? And if you aren't camouflaging your connection,

you may be a target for a cyber criminal, even if the Wi-Fi is password protected. Personal information you send and receive online, like passwords and financial statements, may be out in the open for someone to see. That's why you need Norton Secure VPN. It's seamless. Install, log in once,

let it run in the background. Use it with your PC, Mac, or mobile device. It uses bank rate encryption to hide what you're doing while connected. Norton Secure VPN blocks companies from tracking your online activity and blocks those annoying ads that seem to follow you around on the internet. Help mask your online activities and location with the no log VPN.

Get Norton secure VPN. Browse privately. Secure your connections today. Head to norton.com slash VPN Simmons. Protection starts at $3.33 a month for the first year with annual enrollment. Norton.com slash VPN Simmons terms apply. Okay. So we mentioned San Francisco's up 20 to 10.

They have the ball. 11 minutes left. They had already gotten a first down. So it's first down on their own 38. They run most of it for a yard. Then incomplete to Kittle. False start. All of a sudden, it's like third and 14.

Jimmy G scrambles for three yards. Nobody's open. They have to punt. Casey gets it back. That's when he got the hit. It was close to being out of bounds. Yeah, yeah, yeah. By the way, Terrell Suggs.

Yeah, he came back again. Casey gets the ball. All of a sudden it starts to flip. The Tyreek play. Pass interference on Kelsey. Just turn around. Hey, guys. Hey, play pass interference on Kelsey. Just turn around. Hey guys, Hey defenders,

listen out there. Just turn around, just peek your head 90 degrees to the left. And that's not a pass interference. Yeah. That was a rough pass interference early too. But well, that,

that pass interference, the offensive one on kiddo, I thought, yep. I mean, it seems like only Gronk in my life has ever been called on that. So welcome to the club, George kiddo.

You put a finger on somebody and it didn't move the D back. Whereas the one, you know, I mean, but the, uh, with the saints did play to end the game against the Vikings. You know,

I don't know. I call one, got to call the other. So Casey scores. Now it's 2017, just a little bit over six minutes left. San Francisco gets another terrible kickoff. Every kickoff was like between the 15

and the 20-yard line for them. Could not understand it. Couldn't figure out why they couldn't unlock that. Mostert runs for five yards on first down, second and five. Second play is to Kittle, gets batted down. Now it's third and five. Here's an idea.

Keep running Mostert or make believe you're going to run Mostert and do play action. But don't just do a conventional pass. That was stupid. Then incomplete to Bourne, who's like blanketed by guys on third down and Kittle is wide open. I don't know why Kittle is my guy on third and five, especially when he's wide open. That's when I really like him, when George Kittle's wide open. They have to punt. Casey comes down. They score again. Now it's 24 to 20, 239 left. They get

the ball. Coming out of a timeout, maybe have two plays ready. Get two good ones in before the two-minute warning. The first one was good, right? Yeah, first one's great. Mostert runs for 17 yards and then they huddle up.

And by the time they get to the line, there's like just over two minutes left and they end up getting a false start. So that was stupid. Comes back on the other side. They get a first down. They're on their own 49 with 149 left. Nothing happens on the first two plays.

He overthrows Sanders on the which would have been maybe the game-winning TD. Then on fourth down, it's a delay of game and the back judge is trying. Did you see the replay? He's trying to blow his whistle and fucks it up and doesn't blow the whistle. He couldn't get it

going and then that's when Garoppolo was sacked, right? He had premature whistle ejaculation. He couldn't get it going. And then that's when Garoppolo was sacked, right? He had premature whistle ejaculation. He had it in his mouth. He just screws it up. And then that's it. But man, if I was a Niners fan, I would be out of my mind.

Yeah. Honestly, I'd be out of my mind. If I'm a Chiefs fan, I'm like, we've been on the opposite side of this exact game for 50 years. How did we win this one? Right. What happened? We're conditioned to lose.

I know. I'm right now. So here's how I am. At the end of every year, I'm mad. I'm mad. The season's over. I'd love to blame a ref. It's so much easier for me to just blame a ref.

I'm like, oh, the ref cost me. This season would still be going if not for that ref. I could still be watching football. In my mind, I'm a lunatic, so it's nice to bet the refs. I can't blame the refs. I feel bad for the Niners. I bet them. I feel bad for them.

And I can't begrudge the Chiefs. They're great. They put it all together. You brought up last year. I think if D4 doesn't jump off sides, I think the Chiefs win They're great. They put it all together. You brought up last year. I think if D4 doesn't jump off sides, I think the Chiefs win the Super Bowl. I think they beat the Rams. I do. I agree. That's fine. Give them the win.

They deserve it. They're the best team. What do we make of Andy Reid now? Because even when he was celebrating on the sidelines and stuff, it was this... It was almost like he'd had five shots on the sideline before the end of the game. He was like, whoa, Andy.

He just kind of lost his mind. I loved it. We've entered this post-Andy Reid world where he has a Super Bowl ring, where he is now... Are they going to be able to give him a ring? They got to fit that. Wow, I don't know.

I don't know if they're going to do that. He had the best. First of all, I'm in Miami. Not one story. Terrible stories all week. Kobe set the mood. It was very sad, but Monday was a waste, and there were no stories leading up. The only thing I liked was Andy Reid was comparing something to sweet and sour pork, and I'm like,

oh, maybe I'll change my allegiance. I love this guy. I love it. And he's no longer the winningest coach without a Super Bowl. And we see like Cowher get in, Bill Cowher. Like he might have gotten in anyway, Andy Reid, without the Super Bowl. But this cinches it. Well, it's like the old John Elway corollary, right?

You win that Super Bowl and then it just completely changes the narrative for the rest of your life. And now he goes down as, if you're talking best coaches in the 21st century, just these first 20 years of this century, Belichick's won. Whoa, whoa, whoa. We can't discuss this? Okay, Belichick's won. Belichick's won, and Andy Reid's probably two

all that he was missing was the one Super Bowl and then after that you can have your Tomlin arguments and you know you can do there's a whole bunch of guys in that yeah Pete Carroll's in there there's a whole bunch of guys all in that group well what's weird about it is the Sean McVeigh's

and the Kyle Shanahan's you're like alright this is they're just going to be a nudge. They're going to be paying the ass for 10, 12 years, but they can't get it going, right? Right. And it's, you wonder if there's some James Harden, Houston Rockets kind of thing going on.

These offensive geniuses, but then when you really get in a nut-crunching time, what happens? You know, you still need the awesome guy, but it's so funny how this game played out because really get in a nut crunching time, what happens, you know, you still need like the, the awesome guy, but it's so funny how this game played out because if you pick San Francisco, you're just like, I think they have a better team. I think the total package, I think their defense will slow my homes down.

I think there, there, there'll be less possessions. I think when the chiefs got the ball with like eight minutes left, it was only their seventh possession in the game with eight minutes left in the fourth quarter. So everything's going by. So if you bet the Niners, you're like, this is great. This is exactly what I bet on. And if you bet the Chiefs and you end up winning, which you did, you really just did it because you're like,

there's no way they're going to be able to slow Mahomes down for four quarters. He's just going to rear his ugly head. I'm just going with Mahomes. He's the best player in the field. Yeah. And that usually doesn't work in the Super Bowl, but it worked today. And it just, but the difference is, like you said, what did you say? Was there, they had eight possessions before seven and a half minutes?

No, it was that. I think they had had six possessions. They had six. Their seventh possession was when they got the ball with like eight minutes left. Right, because they barely had it in the third quarter too. And, and yeah, that's it. I mean, that was the game plan. Keep them under 10 possessions. You don't need five stops. You need two stops and you need one or two touchdowns to be field goals. And they really, they just couldn't do it. They couldn't do it. I thought they'd score around 24 themselves,

San Francisco to make it easy on themselves, but they couldn't get there either. I have a hot take. Kyle, get this ready. Mark this down. This goes right to the Ringer social team. I can feel the breakout on Twitter in my bones right now. I can see it. Let's hear it.

Are we sure Pat Mahomes was the MVP of the Super Bowl? Yeah. We are? Are we sure? Yeah. Because – Well, I mean, I basically – go ahead ahead i'll let you get your take out what is all right let's say you're damian williams's brother and you're hanging out with him at the super bowl party tonight and you've both had a couple drinks don't you look at him at some point and say hey man i think you should win the mvp you're fucking awesome in that game you're making you seven-yard runs out of one-yard runs.

You were pulling four-yard runs out of two-yard losses. You were doing everything possible. You were creating plays, creating first downs. You played the best out of anyone on your team. So why aren't you the MVP? Mahomes? Mahomes stunk for 48 solid minutes actually more than that

he stunk for 52 minutes so I don't know so the quarterback is just going to win every year I guess is where we are yeah the quarterbacks won 9 out of the last 13 years I bet that a quarterback would win it was like minus 225 because they've won nine out of 13 years.

And if you look at some of the quarterbacks that won MVP, uh, Eli Warner, Brady, one, like there are some of these years, um, that the quarterback wasn't good at all.

Really wasn't at one or two touchdown passes, one or two interceptions, certainly under 300 yards. Uh, you want to give it to Williams? I don't know. He had 66 yards before that 38-yard scamper when they were already up. So if that was a pass, you would have said Mahomes was going to win for sure

because he'd have three touchdowns. Okay. I think I agree with you. I'm glad we talked this out. Okay, good. I just wanted to pretend I was Damien Williams' brother at the party. Oh, okay. And what I would have said to him because Are you Damien Williams' brother? Is that

what you're telling us? Yeah, it's something like that. I think you could have made the case that he was the one chief who outkicked his own coverage the most in this game. I thought he was really good and I really didn't think I thought Mahomes was for him really subpar

until that final eight minutes. I actually thought he was borderline bad. And then he was underthrowing dudes. He was bouncing balls. The first pick he threw was atrocious. The only thing I do is I look at it as like,

is there any other quarterback that could come back in the fourth quarter like he did? Sure, and that's why he wins. Right, that's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shout out to Damian Williams, though. Maybe they should have a Super Bowl you really outdid what we thought you could do award. I don't know what they would call that. Well, if you're going to do that,

you have to consider my guy, the bell dozer, Blake Bell. Yeah, let's talk about that. That was it. The Gary Russell ridiculous special prop of the year. That was dozer like bell yeah let's talk about that they were that was it the gary russell uh ridiculous special prop of the year that was it i had him over one and a half yards on his first reception he had exactly one reception for nine yards thank you bell dozer beautiful i had uh along with my losing niners bet i had debo at 30 to 1 win mv. And it actually felt like when they were up 20-17, six minutes left, I was one 29-yard Debo reverse away from Niners winning the Super Bowl.

Debo wins MVP. Yeah. Was sitting there. Well, he had almost as many rushing yards as Mostert, right? At 53? Yeah. Mostert at 58? What's your grade for that Super Bowl?

It's weird because I was bored most of the first quarter and most of the third quarter, but otherwise I thought it was really, really good. Really, really good? Really? Yeah. Oh, I thought so. I hated last year's. I give it a B+.

I don't know. It was 24-20 with almost no time left. If we're going, the highest grade you can get as an a plus and the lowest grade you can get as an f minus rams pats last year is what i hated that one c minus c minus that's generous because only because the chiefs and saints were so close to making it to that game and i was like oh that would have been a much more entertaining game. You love it because Brady won the Patriots. I felt like it was a classic

old school battle between two really well coached teams. I would say that Super Bowl was a D or a D minus. This one today? No, that Pats-Rams Super Bowl. D or D minus. Eagles-Pats is at least I mean, it didn't turn out great for Pats fans, but that's D minus. Okay. Eagles Pats is at least,

I mean, it didn't turn out great for Pats fans, but that's at least an A, right? A minus or an A? I'm glad you were able to step back and admit that. Yeah. Pats Falcons is an A plus. I mean, that was like one of the craziest sporting events of all time.

A plus, but boring, again, boring for, you know, you're just waiting for something to happen. Broncos Panthers. I can't really remember anything about that game. I'm going to give that a D. Yeah, I felt like the Broncos were in it. The Panthers were in it without ever being in it. Pat Seahawks, I think, was an A+.

Sure. Yeah. That's one of the most amazing football games of all time. How are you doing this? Great ending? Entertaining? I'm just entertainer value from beginning to end. I'm just saying, what are the chief components for an A-plus? Entertaining throughout, the stars perform, and a great ending.

Yeah, and how memorable it was years later. If I just look at it on this pro football reference page, I'm like, oh my God, remember that game. Seahawks Broncos was a D plus. It was over in five minutes. Ravens Niners was really good, except for the giant long blackout.

That's also the last Super Bowl I ever attended. That was rough. I was there with you. Yeah. That was an A or an A minus, though. That was really exciting, and the ending was great. Giants Pats, the second one. You know, I missed the ending of that because I had to walk out. Jacoby was producing that bit. Remember? Oh, that's right.

I did it for you guys. My idea was to hug the losing team, the fans on the losing team. Yeah. And I swear to God, I didn't see the ending, so I didn't know. I was like, Jacoby, find out who won this game. I gotta hug one of the fans and make a bit out of this. So, yeah, that was a good one.

Giants-Pats, the second one, was not a really good game. No, it really wasn't. The first one was an unbelievable game. No, I know. That game was not very good. That's like a C+. Packers-Steelers, also not a good game. That was like a C-.

Steelers-Cards, that game was awesome. Really? I think that was an A. minus. Steelers cards. That game was awesome. Really? I think that was an A. We watched that one together. That was also the birth of the Gary Russell marriage. That was it. Great, great ending. Great catch to end the game.

Probably my man, James Harrison, probably the greatest Super Bowl player of all time. And then Giants-Pats, the first one, was at least an A, just for drama in the 19-0. Probably an A plus. But then going through the rest of the decade, really the only other great Super Bowl was Pats Panthers, which was terrible for the first half. But the second half was electric.

And then Pats Rams was a huge upset. It wasn't the greatest game. It was really fun to watch. I have to look at it. It really is like star power and how much you remember, because you're not going to get as good an ending as Rams Titans. True. The guys tackled at the one, but I don't remember that as a good game or a great game.

Right. Yeah. So this one today, it had a weird flow to it. It was, it went by really fast. It was almost like you felt drunk when you were watching. It was like flying by. Yeah. And I think if jimmy g had

been able to score on that last drive let's say he hits sanders and they and they go ahead by three and then mahomes comes back down and wins the game in the last two minutes and now it's an a plus but the niners really rolling over i felt like that's the thing i'm going to remember most about this game what do you have for the, you know, we should talk about great calls. Last year, Crown Royal launched the first off the field water break to encourage fans of the game to moderate and hydrate, stay in the game, whether you're watching in the stadium, watching at home or in a bar, have a great time. Enjoy some crown. Don't be that person that ruins it for everyone. Make the right call and take a water break. So Sal, who made the right call this week or not?

Well, this is going to be a little patting myself on the back a little bit here but I did a I did a pregame show for Fox I did a bit a comedy bit and my idea was to get a coach to get revenge on a player who dumped Gatorade on him so immediately I thought Jimmy Johnson because he's part of the Fox crew he could do it and we pair him up with this guy Jimmy Jones which is confusing to everyone because it sounds too much like Jimmy Johnson and Jerry Jones. They're like, what? You want Jerry Jones?

I was like, no, I want Jimmy Jones, a defensive tackle. It's been out of the league forever. No one could find this Jimmy Jones. They try. He's like a fisherman in Texas. But even with that, nobody can find him. So I throw out pairs of coaches and players that have dumped Gatorade on the coaches, and we're down to nothing.

But we find out Sean Payton is going to be in Miami. And so I look it up, and the guy who dumped on him is a guy named Bobby McRae. And he did it, and he lives out here in California. In fact, he was commenting he was close by the Kobe crash. So I was like, oh, crap. All right. So he's on Twitter. He follows my cousin, Jimmy. There's a chef that they both like in common. I get a hold of him. He's like, I'll do it. I'll come out to Miami. I used to live in Miami. All my friends are out there. It's like, great. So now I have to get Sean Payton. We have trouble getting Sean Payton booked. Wednesday night is the Fox party. It's like, great. So now I have to get Sean Payton. We have trouble getting Sean Payton booked.

Wednesday night is the Fox party. It's a great room. Everybody, you will lose your mind, Simmons. All Hall of Famers in there, Gronk's there, A-Rod, Bradshaw, Buck, Aikman, obviously all those guys. So I crash it. I don't really belong there, but I crash it. And Sean Payton walks in about 10 o'clock and I need to approach him. I have to go ask him.

They're like, it's going to be better if you just ask him if he'll do this. So I wait. He's talking. He's actually talking to Gronk and Jimmy Johnson first. So I can't get in there. Then he's talking to Bradshaw and he's talking to Howie. So I'm like, I'm not getting in there. I'm like, geez, I'm just never going to get a shot.

So he spins away from a conversation at one point, like says something to his wife, and that's when I make my move. I go in there. I'm like, Coach Payton, my name is Sal. I do a pregame bet on Fox. Here's my idea. You can tell me to go to hell if you want. And I tell him the idea, and he's like, I love that fucking idea,

and I'm doing it. You just tell me. Tell me when and where to be, and I'll do it. And he's like, I love that fucking idea. And I'm doing it. You just tell me. Tell me when and where to be and I'll do it. And we did it. Good job by you, Sean Payton. Thank you. And it came out. He got retribution.

Poured Gatorade over Bobby McRae's head and then poured it on me, which I didn't really deserve it because I picked 49ers 28-24. But that's that. So now we like Sean Payton on this podcast. I like Sean Payton. Yeah. That's pretty good. He should have been a Cowboys coach anyway. that's that. So now we like Sean Payton on this podcast. I like Sean Payton. Yeah. That should have been a Cowboys coach anyway. That's good. I think, I think that's good enough to carry the great call of the week.

Crown Royal reminds everyone this football season, take a water break and moderate to stay in the game. I was going to say my great call or not of the week was yet again, I fucked up a hedge. The hedge. When, I don't know how far you in on your gambling book, but I just hope I'm prominently involved in the hedge chapter. I've screwed it up every time, including today, twice, not doing it before the game.

And then not doing it up 2010 with 12 minutes left when I could have at least grabbed the plus 165 or plus 170, whatever it was, and just gotten out of there with the Chiefs and broken even. But no, no, I didn't do it that way. This is going to sound douchey, but when you're not hurting for money, it's such an ego thing. So why would you bet the Chiefs if the Niners are up 10? You're like, no, I picked the right game. I'm good.

I'm good at gambling and I don't need this money. And then it almost always bites you in the ass. Well, the good news is I won all the right game. I'm good. I'm good at gambling and I don't need this money. And then it almost always bites you in the ass. Well, the good news is I won all the money back. I didn't tell you this, but I made this bet with you. It's not on your phone. I erased it after. Oh, let me see. I bet that Donald Trump would get the state wrong that Kansas City was in in his congratulatory

tweet. And he did. He thought they represented the state of Kansas really well. I wonder, is he going to comment on it? I know he deleted the tweet, but he should comment. He'll make it right, right? We have a president who is just like us. That should be his new thing.

It should be his 2020 campaign. It should be, I'm just like you. I'm as much of a moron as you are. I also make dumb tweets and then delete them and hope nobody noticed that I did a really stupid thing in the tweet. I'm just like you. I don't know why I delete them at this point. If you're president

of the United States, like, oh, shit, what if someone sees this? I may not be able to run for president. No, you are the president. You're fine. Just keep everything up there. The great state of Kansas. Congratulations to Washington D.C. and everyone in the state of Washington. Oh, man.

He's never going to live that one down. It's really great. That was awesome. Let's talk about the halftime show. Yeah, I was tabulating my many losing bets. I didn't see a lot of it. Oh, no. Oh, you missed an all-timer.

Tell me. What happened? Shakira and J-Lo, they brought the heat. Right. It was really good. Who won? Who would you say won? I think I scored at Shakira 115-112.

Really? Wow. Yeah. I thought it was a 10-8 round when they turned their backs and shook their butts together. I thought that was like a knockout of J-Lo. I don't think anyone saw that coming. You just figure in a butt shake-off,

you just think J-Lo's going to be running away with that. But no. There were odds for cleavage and odds for butt cleavage, and they were separate bets. So my son, actually, I'll save it for Parent Corner. Sounds like a Parent Corner. A story about my son. Yeah, it was a really good, really, really good halftime show.

And of course, because of the recency bias culture we're in, it immediately spurred a debate about whether it was the best one ever or not. The Prince one is, to knock that one out, you're going to really have to do something. It's tough. And they did a nice job with it. But I think that's what the Super Bowl halftime show should be. It should just be a montage.

No song lasts for longer than a minute. There's just incredible dance numbers. And ass shaking. And I think we're good. I think that's where we need to be. I don't think we need rock bands anymore. Right. Can you pitch that to Roger Goodell or you think it just has to happen naturally? Roger Goodell. I don't think it happens.

Yeah, I like everything quick. I like the medleys. I like the short anthem. It came in under two minutes and four seconds, which I believe was the over-under. It was like everything quick. I like the medleys. I like the short anthem. It came in under two minutes and four seconds, which I believe was the over-under. It was like 149. So we talk about the MVPs of the season. Other than Mahomes, Lamar wins the unanimous MVP award,

but Mahomes now has the conch as the guy, the best guy in the league. He's got the Lord of the Flies conch. Right. The other MVP of this season was Ryan Fitzpatrick for the Jenga stack that he knocked down and

basically reordered the playoffs and the Chiefs only had to play three games instead of four. The Pats go out early. All of it goes through. It's just like every single break went the Chiefs way starting around mid-December, which is funny because when Mahomes, he's hurt, and then he does that QB sneak,

and his kneecap pops out of his knee, and there's a five-second stretcher where it's like, oh, Mahomes is out for the year. Yep. And then who the hell knows what's going to happen. Well, similarly, Tannehill, who won Comeback Player of the Year last night at that awards ceremony. He's another one. Another Jenga player.

Yeah. Did the whole thing. We should talk about a couple of those. Kyla Murray, Offensive Rookie of the Year. We have to remember to bet these because it just seems like the quarterback that's going to drop back more wins. Yeah, him winning over Josh Jacobs. I was kind of stupefied by it. I had money on Josh Jacobs, so I'm probably a little sore, but I also thought,

uh, Brown on Tennessee had a, had a good end of the year. Maybe could have won it, but I, and then coach of the year was rough. Tomlin didn't get it. Harbaugh did get it.

People were bummed. Shanahan didn't get it, but I think he has bigger things to worry about. Yeah. Um, what, what grade would you give this football season? I mean, season. Yeah. Cause for you, like the Patriots might've been fine. what grade would you give this football season the whole season

yeah because for you the Patriots might have been finally stabbed in the heart and might be done it is possible so for that alone it's a huge win for you you finally get rid of the Pats after two decades right that's pretty good I also give it a B plus

you got rid of Jason Garrett Garrett's gone. No, like, anthem crap, you know. Concussion talk was to a minimum. Right, it was a positive season. It got off to a rocky start there, I will say, with the Andrew Luck stuff.

But then Antonio Brown kept us entertained almost throughout the whole year, right? That was terrific. What am I missing? What else is good? The Lamar fantasy stuff was really fun.

He was fun to watch. Baker failing was great. The Browns just being bad was great. That was fun. The Eli Manning coming back and then ending up exactly 500. Isn't that where he ended?

He was 117 and 117. I love that. And I actually didn't think the playoffs were that great. The conference championship weekend pretty much had a fun hour out of the seven, and that was about it. Yeah. And I don't know. I think going forward, do you want to do the odds now for next year?

We were close to getting Texans-Titans for an AFC championship game. That'll put a huge damper on it. But yeah, let's do the Super Bowl 55 odds. Yeah, so the Chiefs are the favorites at 6-1. That seems high. Usually the favorite is like 3-1, right? Were you surprised by that?

Yeah, I think it's like 9-2. And I'm looking at the others. I don't want to spoil my pick, but I was talking to Brother Brian, the Against All Odds guys. Why not just take the Chiefs year after year until they win again? If you're going to get 6-1,

you keep getting 6-1, I think they'll be there one out of the next three years or two out of the next three years, they'll be in the big game, won't they? Well, you figure they really could have two in a row. Sure. They're a D-4 to offsides

away. Poor D-4, by the way. Gets double loss from back-to-back. Ravens were 7-1. Niners, 8-1. Saints, 11-1. Pats, 14-1. Steelers, 15 to back. Ravens were 7-1. Niners 8-1. Saints 11-1. Pats 14-1. Steelers 15-1. Packers 18-1.

Cowboys 18-1. Seahawks 22-1. Eagles, Rams, Browns, Vikings all 25-1. Let's stop there for a second. I was okay with almost every number you just threw out there. Why are the Browns on par with the Rams, the Eagles, and the Vikings? Explain that to me. Ahead the Rams the Eagles and the Vikings explain that to me ahead of the Texans it should be bears it should be the Browns are 25 to 1 to win 11 games would

be a much smarter bet yeah going through all these the one that I was surprised by was Titans 30 to 1 I thought that they would actually be higher up the list because I do I do think they have the good foundation of something. They have some cap space. Either they're going to bring Tano back or go get another quarterback or whatever. But either way, they're going to be gaining cap space just for whatever they do with their quarterback. Yeah. And they have, I don't know.

I was surprised by that one. I thought they got their feet wet this year and they're in better shape. They were fun, but I don't know. Aren't they stay-aways? They're stay-away. Chargers, Pats. I think they're all three are stay-aways until you find out what's going on with the quarterback. Now I'm hearing Stafford might be on there.

I don't know how you trade that salary, but can you imagine he ends up on one of those teams we just mentioned? Jesus. Speaking of the Chargers, they snuck this one this weekend. Anthony Lynn is back. Multi-year Jesus. Well, speaking of the chargers, they snuck this one this weekend. Anthony Lynn is back. Multi-year extension. Yeah, that's right.

We get to bet against him again. I was, I was happy about that. Thanks for bringing him back. Yeah. Brady, Brady did that weird Instagram post on Thursday. And, uh, I may or may not have taped a new opening for the podcast on Thursday. That thing Kyle and I talked ourselves out of because we didn't want to overreact. What was it going to be? Oh, you were upset? Well, we didn't know if he was like doing the creating a drama thing. And then it became clear it was like tied to a Super Bowl commercial.

So it was a good stay away for us. But, you know, he's going to be leveraging all these teams against each other. My dad is convinced that they're going to sign him for 30 million a year for two years. And then the new media deal will come in and they'll be able to put a third and fourth year that are voidable. That then the contract just gets dragged out for 10 years. Smart man, Dr. Bill. What's the alternative? He's going to go to the Chargers and compete with the Chiefs in the division twice a year? A team that could win like 14, 15 games maybe.

I guess the alternatives are Titans, Chargers, Bears, Raiders. I don't know. I said to Kyle, are we sure we shouldn't just let him go and sign Teddy Bridgewater for three years, 30? Kyle's like, no, stop. No, that's ridiculous. Got very upset at me.

Then went outside and smoked a cigarette outside our office. Kyle, he doesn't mean it. You know he doesn't mean it. No, he was upset. He didn't like very upset at me. Then went outside and spoke to a cigarette outside our office. Kyle, he doesn't mean it. You know he doesn't mean it. No, he was upset. He didn't like that idea at all. Kyle is ready to ride Tom Brady like a beaten down car with 230,000 miles on it and just try to go cross country with him a couple more times. Let me ask you this.

Has an organization ever owed a player more than the Patriots owe Tom Brady? Just from that respect. Maybe it's not a good business deal when the money shakes out. Well, I would argue maybe they've taken care of him in a couple of ways that maybe are outside the salary cap. I don't know what that means. Orchids of Asia? What are you talking about? They've taken care of Asia? What are you talking about? He's taken care of? Did you see the NFL 100 today? I thought it was really cool. It also made me feel really old because they're showing some of the guys from the 70s and I'm just like,

oh wow, yeah, I'm 50. I guess it makes sense that Ted Hendricks looks like he's 80 because he was playing when I was five years old. But it was really cool to see all the different guys together. Shout out to Hawk Hanna, by the way, the first great Patriot who was out there. But when they had all the quarterbacks,

I just had a lot of emotions. I wish that could have lasted 10 minutes, just looking at that group and Manning and Montana and Elway and Brady and then thinking like, it had to kill Bradshaw, right? Oh yeah, I think so. Because at halftime they went to Bradshaw and he

wasn't holding his mic and forgot he had his mic and then I think he was rattled for the rest of the day. He couldn't believe that he wasn't out there. Couldn't they have just invited him out there even if he wasn't in the 100? He's at the game. I think I get sad from the whole thing. I mean, you think Bradshaw got sad?

I look at Earl Campbell who can't move. He's like sitting in a chair, but he's got a cane. It's like, oh, this was one of the greats. I show highlights to my 15-year-old, my son. Wait, hold on. Dumb printer's going. What the hell is doing this? Someone's printing from upstairs.

Sorry about that. We might have to leave this in the pod all right this is good this is it maybe this is brady's contract coming over oh my god is it for two years 62 million with two portable exactly right uh yeah earl campbell like you get these show highlights of his shirt getting ripped off and everything and it's like now this guy just gets a smile and sit with a cane by his side. While you fix your printer, we're going to take a break. And then I want to hear stories from Miami and then we'll do parent corner and wrap it up.

Let's take a break to talk about our old friend, stamps.com. Postage rates went up again. Thankfully, stamps.com eases the pain with big discounts off post office retail rates. You save 5 cents off every first class stamp and up to 40% off shipping rates, the kind of savings that really add up, especially for small businesses. And it's completely online. So it saves you time and money. Anything you do at the post office,

you can do at stamps.com. You can print officially US postage 24 seven, any letter package, class mail, anywhere. Just drop it in a mailbox when you're done. Stamps.com, you get discounted postage rates as well that you can't get at the post office. A fraction of the cost of those expensive postage meters, no equipment, at least no long-term commitments. Right now, listeners get a special offer that includes a four-week trial. And I mean, my listeners plus free postage and digital scale without any long-term commitment. All you have to do is go to stamps.com, click on the microphone at the top of the homepage, type in BS, stamps.com, enter BS. Meanwhile, let's talk about Sales Genie, a product of Info Group. If you're in sales,

marketing, or own your own business, listen up. For nearly 50 years, Info Group has helped professionals succeed just like you. We all know the number one reason salespeople and businesses fall in general. It's because they're challenged in finding new customers. I'm here to tell you, all you need is the right audience to call on or market to. Sales Genie, the proven way to find, acquire, and retain customers. Now, Sales Genie can't make you pick up the phone. I know. They can't make you bring your next customer to your doorstep, but they will provide you all the B2B and B2C audiences for prospecting,

whether it's calling, direct mail, email, or display advertising. And if you're serious about finding your next customer and growing your business, give Sales Genie a call for your free 14-day trial. Call 866-574-5442 or just go to salesgenie.com slash bill. S-A-L-E-S-G-E-N-I-E.com slash bill. So I just looked at Twitter while we were taking that, waiting for your printer to stop. The XFL did a tweet. Now it's our turn.

Wow. So how do you handle the XFL? I have a couple of questions. One, are you going to be wagering on it? Two, are you going to be talking about it and lock it in? And three, which one of your friends is most likely to really kind of get into the XFL and start to think of himself as something of a gambling expert on it? Well, that's Harry for sure.

I figured. Yeah, he goes crazy. Harry, who had a 10-minute analysis on the podcast on why, what's her name, was going to hold the word brave for more than, for under five and a half seconds. And she held it with Demi Lovato for like 11 seconds. Oh, Jesus. So you know he's going to pound the XFL. Yes, we're going to have to talk about it on Lock It In because Fox runs the games.

I had dinner with Joel Klatt, who will do the games. And yeah, they're all in Fox on this. But I think what happens is you miss football, right? This is what happened last year. You miss football, and you kind of pay attention to the first two weeks of this, and then it fizzles out, right? And it's like, all right, I don't know the players.

What am I going to do? I can't do it. We may have to learn the players to discuss it for 10 minutes as a segment, but what are you going to do with it? I'm going to just listen to it. I know Harry's going to watch every game, and I'm just going to listen to what he tells us to do. And go the other way.

Yeah. I'll take all his advice and flip it the other way. Give us Miami stories. When was the last time you spent an entire week at a Super Bowl? I was- Houston? It was with you. Yeah.

Right? It had to be with you in Houston. Yeah. I've been in Miami two days of my life before this week. That was for the Denver game. Denver-Atlanta, right? Super Bowl. Yeah. I like it a lot. I really do.

The whole town, I think it was like 30%, maybe more miserable in LA with the Kobe stuff. So we got off to a... Every show on FS1 had a memorialized Kobe and, you know, of course they should have,

but it was, it was a bummer to pick that up. And media day was that night. Um, Guillermo didn't even do for Kimmel didn't even do. They flew back. Uh, but after that,

it was good. I like, I like my, have you been in Miami? Yeah. Bunch of times. Yeah. Food's great. The nightlife's great. I told my, have you been to Miami? Yeah. Bunch of times. Yeah.

Food's great. The nightlife's great. I told you about that Fox party, which was a, a great room. Um, what else do I want to say? I can't even think lots of chiefs fans, lots of chiefs fans.

And as the week grew on, there was, it was like 50, 50. And then it was probably 80, 20 by the time I left, uh, late Saturday night.

And here's the highlight. I got pink eye for a day. I pulled a Bob Costas. You did? I don't know what happened. I was rubbing my eye. And then I was like, I have a hair stuck in it. And the medic on staff was draining it.

I had thorough draining of my eye three times on Wednesday. And it was still bad. And they gave me an antibiotic and it took like two days to get rid of it. And within those two days, we shot a bit with Joe Buck where, uh, Rachel Bonetta and I pay him money to wear a green tie with crabs on it instead of the purple tie that he was planning on wearing. Like the idea being that that was one of the props that you could bet on. It actually was, you could bet on Joe Buck's tie, which ended up being gray with stripes. And I was like, holy shit.

I was thinking about it. What happens if I give Joe Buck pink eye? Oh, yeah. You should have. She's just giving it to him. What do they do? First of all, I'm probably fired if it gets back that I did it, right? With all these viruses going back.

Yeah, I think if you had done that, that would have been a national story. Yeah. I feel like that would have trended on Twitter. And I think they would have talked about it on The View. Let's talk about what happened at Fox this week. Cousin Sal? It would have been my greatest prank ever, right?

It might have cost me employment, but it couldn't have been better than that. Because Costas, both eyes were pink. Where was he? Did they just not have antibiotics? Yeah, they didn't have antibiotics. And let's be honest, I think, can't you only get pink eye from some sort of sex fluid thing? I thought that was the only way to get it. What? I don't know. Sex fluid. So did you have a fluid injury? Was there a fluid mishap? No, I heard if you fart on a pillow or something you could get it which is much more

likely no i was i was trying to open the door of that you had a sex oh i said i got the fecal mishap is much more fun actually yeah and much more realistic right that's my thing so that was a highlight right there had it for two days your highlight was pink eye what were the highlights from uh from corolla's house today by the way as soon as you told me corolla bet on the niners i should have abandoned ship and put everything on the chiefs what about why this is the greatest gambling advantage we have is adam corolla and every year we don't do anything about it you should be releasing the adam corolla super bowl pick the same way stew feiner was releasing Sports Advisor picks in the 1990s. You're right. I screwed up.

Yeah. He has a great record. A great record? He's got a great non-record. A great losing record. You have to fade him. The highlight is our friend Daniel, who's very aggressive, very persistent, does this pool. And I'm writing down

props up until the very last minute so like daniel if you want to run the pool the squares pool it's fine he's like all right twenty dollars twenty dollars a bottle i'm like now let's do ten dollars look around the room a bunch of idiots there's not a thousand dollars there's not two thousand dollars in this room we have to do ten times a hundred we have to do a thousand all right so i i'm in for ten daniel's in for ten uh kickoffs at 3 30. It's three 15. We have 50 boxes full and Adam doesn't want to buy squares. And Daniel's like, Adam, this is your party. You have to buy squares. So, um, we ended up fronting him cash and he buys squares,

everything. And then Daniel and I have to bet more. So, but when it's time to assign the numbers, we finally get this grid full. He takes my son and his son to the corner and has them like yelling out numbers. And I'm like, all right, I don't even pay attention because I'm doing something else. He comes back with the numbers full. Guess who has zero, zero and three, zero? Daniel. And he wins the first three quarters. So it's like a monopoly when somebody is the bank and they just end up having $20,000. I was like, oh, that's convenient. I was like, hey, talk to your son.

I was like, what are you talking about? He's like, I never win these. I was like, yeah, that's what happened. You got in your car today. He said, I never win these. This year I'm going to win. Let me figure it out. I don't think he cheated, but he cheated.

It sounds like you think he cheated. No, I don't know. It's just these squares pools. I'm done with the squares pools because I end up buying like you think he cheated. No, I don't know. It's just these squares pools. I'm done with the squares pools because I end up buying like 30% of them. And Jimmy wasn't there, so he couldn't help. Was there any Brad Mulcahy highlights or no? Brad was crazy. He might have gotten into an argument with my father.

Oh, no. Having something to do with Fox News. Brad doesn't like him as much as my dad does. And, uh, I don't know some words. I'm not, I'm not the,

I'm not the make nice there and figure that out. Uh, he's out of his mind. He told me a story, how the government, you know, he claims nine dependents for like a dozen years. Yeah.

Um, he told me the government called, called Jimmy Kimmel live and told him he can no longer claim nine dependents. He puts down zero. So I didn't even know they could do that. He doesn't have any kids or a spouse. No, he could claim that nine people can claim his as a dependent.

I think that's different. He's in his late 40s. Yeah, he's getting there. All right, let's do a pair of quarter. What do you got? Well, I mean, this is that you heard that printing in the background. First of all, a couple of things. Our friend Dave Damoshek and you did a good job.

You brought us together. Me, you, Dave Damoshek, Kevin Hentz. We've all been friends for years, but you put us all on a nice text chain. You called cold pizza because it was a ESPN to show. We worked on for a couple months maybe less yeah uh before they they thought better of it but um cold pizza text chain damage x a big steelers fan um big uniform guy so damage x uh keeps us hostage during the game and goes over every super bowl and the color matchup and how

which super bowl which uniform would have been better if uh if they went with the current or older i mean he's got this down to like the the the helmet and the top of the helmet and the socks and everything honestly we heard about everyone one through 53 so my oldest son is like he's like also like what the hell is going on but also like this is the greatest thing i've ever heard the other thing is he's talking to my middle son who has now become obsessed with pittsburgh sports my 12 year old yeah he likes heinz ketchup so he likes hans field so he likes the steelers and now i get printing out which was i'm looking at it right now Steelers Eagles rivalry

since the 1940s or whatever and this is like nine pages of this crap I'm looking at he wants to go to Pittsburgh Damoshek's like you you this is exactly what you deserve Sal you're a Cowboys fan for no reason you deserve a Steelers fan for a son so he's taught there are talks

that he's going to take my 12 year old to Pittsburgh on a trip they're going to see the factory and then he's going to take my 12-year-old to Pittsburgh on a trip. They're going to see the factory and then they're going to walk over to the field. I don't even know what to say. It's just craziness around me all the time. So your son has become really a professional troll in your life. Yeah, he really has. He's pulling a Costanza on all the things you like, like your other children, your favorite teams. Exactly. Yeah. What else is there? a Costanza on all the things you like, like your other children, your favorite teams.

Exactly. Yeah. What else is there? He's going to start a site in a couple of years, making fun of your Fox bits. Yeah. He's going to rip down all my Debbie Gibson posters. Who knows what's next? Well, I have a couple with my son. One was that after the, he had, he had a Superbowl party at two kids over and they hung out in the back house and played video games and watch the Superbowl. And at the end of the halftime show, which was, what's just say it was provocative. He came running into the house and said, that was not child appropriate, but was delighted, delighted by it. So we were like like did you just go through puberty and he got mad and ran off um that that was that was one story the uh the my son is becoming an instagram rip guy so he does you know you do the instagram stories and uh and anytime somebody dies, he does these pictures with some sort of, some sort of, uh, you know, note for the person that's dead. And it started, I think it was, um, it was a rapper who died like a year ago and he did this thing and it's nipsey hussle no it was it was even yeah it might have been nipsey hustle and he did now you walk with the angels but he spelled angels wrong he spelled it angles so it was like now you walk with the angles so we made fun of him for like six six hours and he got

really mad and through tantrum but he's really into these instagram rip thing and this i realized this is how that generation now kind of dissects and experiences death, right? Well, and also it's guaranteed to get likes, right? Yeah. It's the safest post you can put. So now he took it another step. He's now doing anniversaries of when people died for his Instagram things. Oh, wow.

There was that rapper XXXTentacion. How do you say his name, Kyle? Did I say it right? I'm not not sure I know it's the XXX yeah XXX who he really liked it was the one year anniversary of when he died and Ben decided to do the one year anniversary thing so I don't know where this goes

Sal I don't know whether he's going to become the Grim Reaper maybe he should start predicting when people will die it sounds like a horror movie. Yeah. Sorry, Betty White. You have until November. Well, that was another.

We watched this horror movie this weekend called Countdown, where you download this app on your phone and it tells you when you're going to die. And then a couple people had, you know, you're going to die in two hours and 15 minutes. And then they actually would. And Ben immediately knew every beat of this movie and was telling, oh, I can write movies like this and, and is really convinced he can write a horror movie now. Um, and I actually think he could, because have you seen some of these horror movies, Kyle? Like they're that bad.

They're bad. This is, this was an entire horror movie built around an app that tells you when you die. And that was it. That was the entire movie. And then guess what? They got rid of the app on the phone at the end. It's like, these horror movies aren't even trying anymore. I think he's right.

I think he actually could write a horror movie. So that's second and then the third one is um my my uh my cousin pete is working for this company called pocket watch that makes all these child videos you know like youtube videos and all kinds of like really creative stuff and ben has decided he wants to have a movie review show and he wanted to do it the ringer and i asked him what the name of the show should be and he said i want to call rotten tomatoes and i said you can't call rotten tomatoes that they already own that name and he's like all right well i'll call it something else maybe i'll just call it tomatoes i'm like all right great great start spoiled tomatoes what are you gonna do on your

show and he said um i'm just gonna review movies movies and give my takes nice and i was like that's it that's your idea he's like yeah yeah so i'm going to develop that with pete so keep keep your eye out for uh tomatoes if you think well you know what i don't know if it's a coincidence that you're dealing with tomatoes and my kid's dealing with heinz, but maybe they can join forces here. Maybe it could be a split screen where Jack talks about Pittsburgh and my son reviews. I love it. So yeah,

keep an eye tomatoes in development right now for ringer films. We're working on it. That's great. What do you have to plug? What happens with lock it in? I don't know. Lock it in, you know,

Monday through Friday, FS one, four 30 to five 30 we're gonna talk basketball now i i can't stand you simmons you got to talk me out of this depression because i don't i don't love basketball i don't love betting it it seems like every night the way i bet it is stupid but every night a double digit favorite loses i had who did i have i had some stupid team last week oh and i had the clippers i needed them to finish a three-team Moneyline parlay. Kawhi sits before the game, his back hurts, and they get killed by Sacramento.

I went to that game. Oh, you were there, right? Yeah, that's right. When you were there. What the hell? I hate that. Then the other day, you're like, oh, we got to bet. We got to bet.

You should bet against the Celtics. I was like, all right. I will. Philadelphia, they're not going to lose to Philadelphia. I'm like, all right, I'll bet against them. I bet Philadelphia. Like, whoops. I didn't know Embiid was playing. Yeah, Embiid screws them up. You didn't know their best player was playing?

I thought he was out for another month. You know, they're terrible with him. And I'm like, this is ridiculous. Their best player, they're terrible with their best player. And then I look, they're like, oh, yeah, he's one for 11 to start the game. So teach me about basketball. I'm going to teach you right now. oh yeah, he's one for 11 to start the game. Teach me about basketball. I'm going to teach you right now. I'm teaching right now. I'm going to drop some

knowledge on you. So I had an epiphany because I went to that Clippers Kings game and the Kings came out and they just shot threes. Not that every other team does that, but they really did. They were just chucking up threes and they were going in and they're up 20 and then it just became clear in the second quarter they were going to win because their threes

were going in. And they were like, I don't know what the line was before people found out Kawhi wasn't playing, but it was at least double digits. Then you watch the Portland Lakers game the next day. The emotional Kobe day and it was awesome. Everything the Lakers did.

Then the game starts. Except if you had them to win like I did. Right. So the Portland's a 13-point underdog. Here's my thing. I'm not sure any team that makes threes should ever be getting

more than eight points. Because it's so haphazard. The difference between if you're going to take 43 threes in a game, 44, whatever, and you go 20 for 44 versus you go 14 for 44, that's a difference of 18 points. Yeah, and you already got 60 if you make 20.

Yeah, it just becomes about, did you make six more threes than you usually would? And at that point, that could be any team in the league. So I would like, my advice would be I would never do a parlay with basketball ever. And it would seem like there's some marketing efficiency with the heavy underdogs. Well, I mean, Dame Lillard, you're nuts to just bet against them anyway right now. So, yeah, Portland

for sure. There are teams that are not as good at the win. We have some NBA All-Star stuff. Maybe I can pop on against all odds. Yeah, we can. All right, do that. This week, we're shifting gears. I think I'm going to have Rachel Bennett on,

my co-host from Lock It In, and we're going to talk Oscar odds. We always make money with the Oscars. Well, here's the sad thing. I talked to Sean Fennessey about this, and then I watched the Super Bowl with Wesley Morris today, and he confirmed. Apparently, it's going to go chalk this year. They're

adamant about it. Why is that sad? Well, because there's no real odds. There's no value. Oh, I see. They're all runaways. If you go through, they just think 1917's going to win. Phoenix is going to win. Renee Zellweger is going to win think like 1917 is going to win. Phoenix is going to win.

Um, Renee Zellweger is going to win. Brad Pitt's going to win. And then I forget who's winning best supporting. Well, supporting actor or supporting actresses always seems to be an upset, right? Apparently fantasy is going to talk about this in the big picture podcast

this week, but apparently the, it's almost like what's happened with MVP voting and stuff and the different sports that we had, you know, like NBA, MLB, where the consensus of thought now, there's no wildcard picks. Everybody just does the same thing because they don't want to look like a dumb ass. So you get into like the Oscar best picture or whatever, and you're just like, oh, I guess I'll take that. I don't think it was 1917, but it's going to win. I might as well just vote for that.

Well, I guarantee you, I'm going to have this XFL. I'm going to be parling the South Carolina Snipers with the freaking Two Popes or something. Their name's not the South Carolina Snipers, is it? It isn't? What am I looking at here?

I'm asking you, is that really their name? I think so. They named their team the Snipers? is it? It isn't? What am I looking at here? No, I'm asking you. Is that really their name? I think so. They named their team the Snipers? Am I looking at the wrong league here? Atlanta Furious? Maybe I'm looking at the wrong thing. I don't know what the hell I'm looking at. The South Carolina Snipers.

I don't know. Tough jersey hat game. I'm going to be... Just wearing a Snipers hat. That sounds kind of crazy. I'll be an expert in three days on this. So we have. Yeah, you were wrong.

All right. You know I meant the Orlando rage. Come on. You have the Dallas Renegades, Houston Roughnecks, Los Angeles Wildcats, Seattle Dragons, D.C. Defenders, New York Guardians, St. Louis Battlehawks, and Tampa Bay Vipers. There's no Pittsburgh team for my middle son to root for? That's terrible.

Well, we do have the Wildcats playing in Carson. Okay. Let's not go. All right. I agree. Let's not go. All right. I agree. Let's not go. All right. Cuz,

it was another great season for us. That was one, two, three. That was our 13th season doing podcasts about football all the way through the Super Bowl. It was a pleasure as always.

I look forward to losing more money with you in the off season. And as always, good job by you. We did it, pal. Good job by you too. All right. Thanks to the Cuzz for an awesome football season.

Thanks to ZipRecruiter. Thanks to Norton Secure VPN. If you aren't camouflaging your Wi-Fi connection, you may be a target for a cyber criminal. That's why you need Norton Secure VPN. Use it with your PC, Mac, or mobile device. Get Norton Secure VPN and browse privately. Secure your connections today.

Go over to norton.com slash vpnsimmons. Protection starts at $3.33 a month for the first year with annual enrollment. norton.com slash vpnsimmons. Terms apply. I'll see you a bunch more times this week in the podcast where a book of basketball rewatchables. Two more on this feed,

including a very special trade deadline episode with Ryan Rosillo. We did this last year. We start taping basically 45 minutes before the trade deadline. Keep going. As soon as we're done, we put it right up so you have it on Thursday afternoon.

Until then. On the wayside I don't have A few years with him On the wayside On the wayside I don't have