The Bill Simmons Podcast - The First-Coach-Fired Bowl and Guess The Lines With Cousin Sal | The Bill Simmons Podcast (Ep. 425)

Episode Date: October 8, 2018

HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss the dismal coaching matchup between the Cowboys and the Texans, a top 18 NFL power ranking, and playoff implications (3:00), before they guess the NFL Lines for week 6 (38:55). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tonight's episode of the BS Podcast on the Ringer Podcast Network brought to you, as always, by ZipRecruiter. You know what's not smart? Watching Bill O'Brien and Jason Garrett coach an NFL football game. NFL football game? Football game. An NFL game. You know what I mean. You know what else isn't smart? Job sites that overwhelm you with tons of the wrong resumes.

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of A Star is Born coverage, and deservedly so. I saw it this weekend. It was fantastic, as well as NBA previews. We are not that far away now. We are within 10 days. Joe Haas and I are doing our annual over-unders pod at some point this week. That's happening for NBA win totals.

We have Previewpalooza coming a week from Tuesday, all day on the Ringer. We even launched a new Twitter feed at Ringer NBA for just the hardcore NBA stuff. And speaking of things we launched, we have a little world tour for One Shining Podcast. They're doing four cities. Check their Twitter feed. It's at One Shining Pod. For details, if you live in the Midwest. Nephew Kyle, you're going to three of the cities? I'm going to all of them.

Who told you I'm not going to all of them? I think you're going to three of them. Oh, no. Fine. Yeah, we need you here. You're doing three of the four, at least. Fine. So that's happening.

Nephew Kyle's bummed out now. Now he's going to mail in the podcast. That's all right. He'll mail it in. Good stuff coming up on the podcast this week. We have a couple guests, a couple more celebs. Still getting feedback on the Matt Damon podcast. People love that one.

Coming up, the cuz. But first, our friends from Pro Jam. All right, the cuz is on the line. You can see him on FS1 every day at 4.30. Did you win last week? I won. I am the king once again of Lock It In. Wow.

Two straight weeks for you. Big, big week. Yeah, that's right. I had a Moneyline parlay. The Rams held on for me to cash in. They certainly did. We'll talk about that. I'm glad you're winning somewhere because you lose guess the lines every week when we do this

but I don't want to start there I want to start with the 2018 first coach fired bowl we just witnessed it it's 9 o'clock Pacific time Sunday night Houston and Dallas played one of the worst football games I've seen that didn't have just a ton of

turnovers it was just like bad it was bad. Right. Poorly coached, poorly executed. The only person who didn't seem to understand how bad it was, was Chris Collinsworth, who really had a good time,

really enjoyed it. It was raving left to right tight. It was like, he was watching a different game. I was really enjoying it. Uh, it's one thing if you need to keep the viewers, you know,

you want to keep them watching. But even after the game, he's like, that's professional football at its finest. Like, no, it isn't. You know, it isn't. There's no way that's professional football at its finest. In fact, if two coaches got together before a game and agreed to play to a tie, it couldn't look more like the last three and a half hours that we saw on NBC just now. That's a great point. We saw Houston.

Were they inside the five, four different times? That's what it was, right? Yeah. Three field goals. Weirdly, they settled for a field goal during the times when it's actually good to go for it. And then if you don't get it, the other team's trapped down on the inside their own five. The one time they did go for it was at the end of the first half where if you

don't get it, the half just ends. That's the, that's the only acceptable time in my opinion to kick a field goal when it's like something like that. Yeah. But the play calling was so bad. They could have just,

you know, they should have just kept going. If they would have scored, they would have put it away. I wonder if they only had like five plays total in the playbook for inside the five. And once they ran through those, they were like, fuck. All right, well, let's kick a field goal.

What else are we going to do? We don't have any more plays. It was really bad. Your coaches, I saw this. Shout out to Will Kane on ESPN because I saw this tweet. He asked a very salient question. If Jason Garrett got fired tomorrow, and he tweet. He asked a very salient question. If Jason Garrett got fired tomorrow, and he might. We're taping

this Sunday night. By the time people hear this, he might be gone. Who's hiring him? What does his next head coach job look like? What country are we in? What level of football are we in? Are we in college? Are we in the CFL?

Are we in Europe? What is the roadmap to him ever coaching another team again? I don't think so. I think he could maybe arrange travel for the teams who are playing in Europe in London this year. I don't know what he could do. I can't even remember if he's a good coordinator

anymore. Between wasting challenges and timeouts and just clapping on the sideline. I don't know. I don't know what his purpose is anymore. It's so bad to watch this team. Like, and their defense was good.

This is the best defense play without Sean Lee, like Jalen Smith came up big and, and, and Jeff Heath was good, but I'm not even sure what goes on. He's not calling the plays offensively. Okay. So what are you doing?

What are you even doing anymore? He's managing the game. Yeah. Managing to it. That's high. It was so, it really was like, who do you think O'Brien,

they must've been so relieved they were playing each other. Cause it doesn't get like, if I were you or somebody else, I would want to see that rivalry every year, like once a year. Yeah. It's that bad, right? Well, I really think this is between those two and Hugh Jackson. It's really a, it's really a tryoka for the ages.

And I don't know if you put all of them in a neutral field in a round robin tournament with the exact same talent. I don't know what happened. Hugh Jackson held up two after the game-winning field goal in OT. I think he thought there were two seconds left on the clock in overtime.

Or the other option is he was holding up two wins. Either way, he loses. Either way, it's a loss for Hugh. He thought there was two seconds left, or he was excited that they have two wins five weeks into the season. That warranted holding up the two fingers. He's out of it.

He was, you know, it's funny. They're so poorly coached. It's like special teams mistakes. And like at the end of regulation, Jarvis Landry catches the ball with like 30 seconds left. They're driving, they're over midfield. mistakes. And like at the end of regulation, Jarvis Landry catches the ball with like 30 seconds left. They're driving, they're over midfield. He's about to go out of bounds and lowers his shoulder and then stays in bounds to get one more yard. And then they have to like spike the ball. Now it's second and 10 from the 40 leading to just them not doing anything. But it, you know, the really

poorly coached teams jump out and it's the little stuff like that. It's, it's, you know, five minutes left in a tie game today. They show the timeouts Dallas has one timeout left. Houston has one timeout left. It's like, where'd their timeouts go? Did somebody steal them? Are they just gone? Somehow they didn't need them at the end. Cause they got the ball with 10 seconds left, but I mean, even Garrett going, what were they at the 45, the Texans, 45, fourth and one. Like, what do you think is going to happen there?

Just go for it. What really you want this tie your best case scenario. You're getting a tie. If you don't go for it there. Well, it's funny. Like if you do go for it and you do get it and then you go down and you score a touchdown that actually could change your season. Right.

That's like, oh man, what was the turning point of the season when the clapper went for it? I'm fourth and one on the Houston 45? Actually, was he in the 42? He might have been even closer. Yeah, I mean, it was just outside field goal range, but just go for it, you know?

I will say this, though. Dak Prescott, I don't think there's a ton of difference. I feel like this is blasphemous. Like, you get in trouble for saying this, but I don't think there's a ton of difference between Dak Prescott and Deshaun Watson right now. I don't think they're pocket passers. I think Dak would do just as well

if not better with Hopkins and Fuller and all these other guys. Can we pump the brakes on Deshaun Watson being the next savior right now? Well, he has really no running game at all. I was not impressed by the Houston running backs. And he's just reckless.

Not just with the ball. That throw at the end of regulation was really bad. But he takes hits that he doesn't have to take. And I just think he's going to get hurt again. Actually, I got to say, I feel the same way about Mahomes. I think Mahomes, you know, he's young. He's exuberant, he's,

he's probably the number one person you would want to start a football team with right now. But he, he, he can't resist and he takes these big hits and he's not a huge guy and I really feel like he's going to get hurt at some point.

There needs to be, Russell Wilson is, I think even when he came into the league, you know, he's a little bit similar like that. He can scramble, he can extend plays, but always had a sense of when not to take those hits and Watson and Mahomes, you know, they're going to have to learn the hard way. Watson already got hurt. And by the end, he got crunched.

He got nicked. He really does. How about that one play? He tightropes that sideline and gets destroyed. But, and you know, you look at his, I think his last four games, he's over 300 yards. I don't even think that matters anymore, does it? These guys are chucking the ball 50, 55 times a game.

300 is nothing anymore. Bortles was over 400 today with four picks. Yeah. I bet on Bortles today in the road. I also had a parlay with Mariota. You got lucky today because if the Panthers go down, you don't do very well

today, right? Well, I got lucky because one of my bets, I needed a 63-yard field goal to cover. That's happened four times in the history of the league. So yeah, I feel like I was looking at that. And speaking of bad coaches, Graham Gonneau saved River Bowl run life today.

I mean, that was more poor play calling down the stretch with Carolina. Yeah, that was bad. And then I do feel like we kind of got lucky. We had just, I had everything tied to the Rams. I even had nephew, I didn't even tell nephew Kyle, he was in a parlay with the Rams. If the Rams lost, nephew Kyle, I had to give him to the Rams. I didn't even tell Nephew Kyle. He was in a parlay with the Rams.

If the Rams lost, Nephew Kyle, I had to give him to the Russians. Oh, really? You didn't know that? No, I didn't tell him. It just would have been for a year. Cooks goes out with a concussion. I'm watching and the announcers,

you just figure how many announcers are there who announce football games? There's probably like, I don't know, 12 announcing teams. You'd figure at some point with Cooks basically unconscious for a couple seconds, Seattle's equipment guy is running out to kind of help him immediately. And he's clearly concussed. Nobody mentions that he got concussed in the Superbowl nine months ago. Didn't we all watch the Superbowl? Isn't that relevant that he's had two concussions in less than a year and he's not a huge guy.

So he gets concussed and then Cooper cup gets concussed. And at that point I was like, oh man, Sal and I are screwed. Like at that point, they're throwing these guys named Reynolds and Everett, but he's hitting them over the middle. He's doing a good job.

Did you know who those guys were? I knew Everett. I don't know why I knew him at the time. I don't know why, but Reynolds I wasn't familiar with. Yeah, they were like, Josh Reynolds in for Cooks. And then all of a sudden, they're just throwing to Josh Reynolds. I thought that was a really important game for the Rams because. That was a great fun game.

It really was. Start to finish. Like Seattle wasn't going to back down the whole time. And the Rams deserved not to cover, but maybe to win. And, you know, just outflashed them a little bit. But that was a fun game. Yeah. And the kind of game you lose and you don't feel that bad about because you just look at it and go, wasn't our day.

Just one of those games. What can you do? Let's move on to the next one. But they actually won the game. Well, it shows me a lot about them because they, okay, I think they played two trap games in a row. Like home against Minnesota, a Minnesota team that needed a win last Thursday night. That's a trap game. And they handled them pretty easily.

And then this game, they they handled them pretty easily. And then this game, they got their asses kicked. We watched that game last year together in Seattle. The Rams embarrassed the Seahawks. So you'd think Seattle would put everything on the line, and they did, and they survived that too. And that's a team that could go 14-2, 15-1, or run the table. Yeah, and they had Marcus Peters. Unless you watch the game, it's really hard to overstate

how torched he got in that game. Really, really bad. The announcers were killing him. It just seemed like he was hurt. It didn't even seem like he should be out there, but he gave up four or five big plays. And it just, at some point, just had a feeling of,

oh man, everyone was on the Rams this week and this is one of the classics. And it didn't happen. They pulled it out. Great fourth and one call. We'll get to a little bit later. But the thing that really jumped out to me in that game, other than a great team wins a game like that,

and I think the Rams do have a chance to be great, but Gurley is so freaking good. Is he the best player in the league? He is the best inside the five yard line. I mean, the guys aren't even close to him as far as being able to score. It's going to be very hard to not

give him the MVP when he puts up 30 touchdowns combined, right? Yeah, they said at some point, Hench texted me at some point, the announcer was like, Todd Gurley, another three touchdowns. If you're not undefeated with him in your fantasy league, you're doing something wrong. The team in our league that has him in the bar is their own five.

So I think we can say they're doing something wrong. I can't laugh. I'm right there with him. Jesus. Should we do that now or should we take a little break first? I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. It's miserable.

All right. I made a trade today. I know when people hate talking about fantasy teams. All right, let's just get it over with. We played each other this week. We played each other this week. I had the Bears defense and I forgot to pick up a second defense. I just forgot.

I meant to do it and then I went to the movies last night and then got the email of the changes for that night and I was like, oh my God, I forgot to get a defense. And I knew you would never let me forget it. Nothing bothers you more than when somebody starts a ghost ship.

But not when you're playing me. I would have been fine with it. But once again, your obliviousness leads to great things. Go ahead, finish the story. So, about 9 o'clock today, I realized that, well, I realized it last night, but at 9 o'clock today, I realized, oh, maybe I

could trade for a defense. So I go through all the teams in our league, and there's only one team that has two defenses. Who has two defenses? I was shocked. Stupid. Tall John and Jamie, who run a team called the Jennys, they had the Ravens and the Vikings. So I'm emailing them, praying they're looking at their emails.

They email me. So we start negotiating. They offered to trade me the Ravens for the Bears defense. We're going back and forth. It's getting closer and closer to 10. And then finally, I'm like, I'm going to take a zero unless, you know, I don't want to give up. I'm probably going to lose this week anyway. I'll give you Chris Carson or Geronimo Allison.

You pick if you want to trade me the Vikes. Great. So they grabbed Chris Carson. I get the Vikings. The Vikings get 13 points and I beat you by 10. And now you're on five. The kicker is that Chris Carson ran for like over 100 yards. So my stupidity, I just lose Chris Carson.

And the moral of the story, yet again. Well, I'm glad that happened at least. Well, the moral of the story, yet again, is fantasy football, I hate it. It has run out of ways to make me feel bad about myself. This is like, I shouldn't feel bad about myself. I'm like, what am I doing? I don't even have a defense at 9 o'clock on a Sunday. I have Mahomes. I have

a crazy team and I can't get scratch out one win. Yeah, I finished you off. So we went into tonight. You had Zeke needed 20 points from him and naturally he underperformed and killed your real team and your fantasy. He had like 13 carries by the goal line and didn't get in, but that's alright.

Yeah, it was fantasy. So your own five, now what happens? I don't know. I don't know. Look, I'm trading everybody. Who do I have? You traded... I have Gronk.

Gronk, the most overrated player in the league. Terrible. I have Edelman. I have Ingram. I'll trade for Gronk. I have Elliott. I'll trade anybody. I'll take Gronk.

You want Gronk? Who's Elliott. I'll trade anybody. I'll take Gronk. You want Gronk? Who's your kicker? Gronk for Gossk. Let's do it. I'm so mad at this team. The funniest thing is your team was going nowhere anyway, and you trade the most fun football player in the league in maybe the last five years in Mahomes.

I have Matt Ryan on my bench, and it cost me two wins starting Mahomes over Ryan. This isn't a real team. I don't need to keep Mahomes. I have Matt Ryan on my bench and it cost me two wins starting Mahomes over Ryan. This isn't a real team. I don't need to keep Mahomes. Well, you trade Mahomes, Matt Ryan comes in, he stinks today, and now he's the red flag next to him, I noticed. Yeah, he does have the red cross.

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Quickly, going back to the first coach fired bull. Do you think if they had just announced right after the game, while Brian and Garrett were both fired with it, would people have been shocked? Maybe like mildly surprised, but not shocked. Right. Both of them. Yeah.

Yeah. I was thinking about that for the Browns kicker. Like he wins the game winning field goal, but he still gets cut. Like this could have been a thing where full teams tied. Cause maybe really, it really did look like they were looking to tie so that they saved their jobs. But I wouldn't be surprised, no.

Did the Browns kicker really get cut after the game? No, no, I was thinking like this could be the first guy who kicks a game-winning field goal and gets cut at the same time. That could have been your lie witness news for me. I would have actually believed that. You almost believed it, yeah. Weird day of football today. I can't say, I mean You almost believed it, yeah. Weird day of football today. I can't say, I mean,

it was fun, but from a gambling standpoint, did not enjoy it. From a fantasy standpoint, from a daily fantasy standpoint anyway, did not enjoy it. The big surprise for me anyway was the Bills. The Bills are somehow 2-3. Yeah.

And they cannot move the ball offensively. It's hard to overstate how bad their offense is. Josh Allen is just all over the map. I think I've watched all these rookie quarterbacks, and if I had to do a power rankings, I think he would be bringing up the rear. Where would he be for you? Well, it's either him or Rosen, right? We're not including

Lamar Jackson because we haven't seen him. I would put Baker number one, and I gotta be honest, I don't think Rosen's bad. I kind of like Rosen. It's okay. Yeah, so now they all have a win, except Lamar Jackson, but didn't start. But Baker, I was looking at it, like he throws to Landry, Njoku,

Higgins, Willies. I don't know who these guys are. And he has good numbers. That said, these games, maybe I go different ways with the Browns. I'm like, they should lose every game. Or I said, maybe they should win every game if they had another coach or another game plan. But it did seem like the Ravens stalled in the red zone a bunch. Just gave the Browns enough of a chance every time to win.

It was surprising that it was even close. It was one of those games in the first half. And the Ravens, wasn't that one of your best picks this week? I love the Ravens, minus two and a half. I bought the half point and everything. That was the only thing I lost. Yeah, it really seemed like in the first half, it just seemed like they were going to cruise to victory.

I don't know what Hugh Jackson is doing not playing Chubb. I think Chubb's exciting. It's not like the Browns are going to win the Super Bowl. I would like to see him get touches, but yeah. Mayfield. Oh, we forgot about Darnold.

Yeah, Darnold's number two, right? Yeah, Darnold's two, Rosen's three. Josh Allen's four. And Lamar Jackson's your guy if you want to run a third and one sweep play and have him go out of bounds for a one-yard loss. I just can't believe that's how they're using him. It's remarkable. Yeah.

Who else is used like that? Webb? I'm trying to think who else they use. Well, the quarterback was used like that recently. The saints, the saints kind of get a little creative with their guy. They have them like returning kicks and stuff.

Oh, Hill, that number seven, right? Yeah. Yeah. He's on the field more than breeze. Yeah.

I kind of like that. At least they're getting creative on more than just, Oh, it's 31. Time to run our little, well, maybe he should return kicks and stuff. Like, I don't know that. At least they're getting creative on more than just, oh, it's third and one. Time to run our little sweep. Well, maybe he should return kicks and stuff. Like, I don't know. There was always a question whether or not

he was going to be a quarterback anyway. Well, I'll tell you one thing, cuz. Feeling better and better about the Patriots after watching all these teams today. Why not? Of course. Everybody's bad. I did a little power pull.

I tried to do the tier thing. I tried to do the tier thing. Just tried to do the top 15. We think St. Louis and Kansas City are the clear one too, right? Yes. Drop off after that, right? Not St. Louis though. Yeah, but yeah. I'm still calling them St. Louis. Shout out

to St. Louis. The Rams and the Chiefs, I have one too. Then drop off my next five in no particular order. Bears, Pats, Saints, Bengals, Panthers. Is there anyone else you would throw in there? What are you talking about? You have to put your Patriots in there, right? That's what I have.

Bears, Pats, Saints, Bengals, Panthers. That's my three through seven right now in some order. Hold on. What are your one and two? Rams, Chiefs. Rams, Chiefs. Oh, Bears, Pats. I'm sorry. I wasn't hearing Pats. Well, a lot happens in the Sunday night game. You beat the Chiefs, and I think you will,

then you're number two, right? Or number one. It seems like it. So then eight through 12 in some order, Chargers, Ravens, Vikings, Browns, Jags. And I repeat, the Browns. I think they're in the top 12. I think they're talented.

Did you see what their D-line was doing? They were just collapsing Baltimore's offensive line on some of those pass rushes. I think they have talent. I really do. I think that team... I think they do, too. But I let it slip last week. But, you know, our social media department

at The Ringer does a nice job isolating clips. And they took the clip of you last week on the podcast saying, the Browns are good. Their players are good. But I saying the Browns are good. Their players are good. Yeah. But I think the Browns are bad. Their players are good. I think that's,

that's what you say. I like what you did there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's what happens here, but here's a team I would put in three to seven. Yeah.

The chargers, because they only lost to the first two teams. Then you're on your list. Chiefs and the Rams, right? I had them three and two. I had them eight. They're three and two. I had them eight. I didn't like how they played last week.

I need to see them for another week. I would say out of that next group, which I have Chargers, Ravens, Vikings, Browns, Jags, I think the Chargers have the highest ceiling to make a little leap. And then after that, so after the top 12, the next six in no particular order, Titans, Steelers, Lions, Eagles, Colts, Redskins. So the Colts are one and four.

I put them in there anyway because I think they're deceiving one and four. And I think they really had a bad break on Thursday night in that game, having to play four days after in New England, a ton of injuries. But that team, they get first downs. They move the ball.

They can play from behind. There's not a lot of teams that can play from behind like them. Yeah, but when do they get their guys back? They've been injured. I mean, Andrew, this is what I mean. Some of these quarterbacks, they just throw 50, 60 times. He's thrown 121 times in two weeks. And to like Ryan Grant and Chester Rogers.

When does this guy get any relief? He's not going to win like that. I can't write him off yet. Especially in that division. So that's the top 18. Isn't it funny? What did you say? You had the Eagles like 13. They're probably going to win the NFC East. What is it?

They're in that 13-18 range. I mean, they're like 15th best and they're going to win the NFC East. I don't disagree with it, but we've come a long way from the Super Bowl champ. I'd stick by what we said a couple weeks ago. It looks like mid-November, they'll start playing well. We'll be like, oh, here come the Eagles. It just seems like they're in a funk. But they are having trouble covering.

And they had trouble covering last year in the Super Bowl, and they just scored enough points, so it didn't matter. Covering the spread or covering receivers? Covering receivers. Oh, yeah. Your guy Thielen could have gone for like 300 yards today. He is starting to climb up the rankings of the great white receivers of all time. He's not late.

Steve Largent still has his territory, but Thielen, he had one touchdown in the corner that was, the guy almost tipped it and it went like through his hands and Thielen, like he was not even phased. Yeah. To beat him to that spot was something else. And then the guy got between it and waved at it and he still caught it. So the Lions game, everybody made a

big deal about the kicker, and rightly so. I think the Lions... You don't like this because you love the Lions and you're going to say they ran away with it anyway. No, I just thought they were better. I think they would have won the game regardless of what the kicker did. Yeah. Well, the only thing I'll say, I mean, they had a 24-0 lead.

You picked the right team. The Lions were better. But I do feel bad for Rodgers. The guy is complaining about the offense, and the only thing he can really count on is Mason Crosby. And then this guy goes out and misses four field goals and an extra point. It's really rough for him. He's another one that's, like, throwing 55 times a game.

And they only had one receiver, really, who's on your fantasy team. But it was basically just Adams and a bunch of no-names. The one thing I did notice in that game, Rodgers was moving a lot better than he has in the past. So my conspiracy bill is going to dump his whole torn ACL thing. I'm done with that. Really, yeah.

Yeah. It looks better. They just need to win. They have a tough... They have... Who do they have? San Francisco this week, then at the Rams and at New

England, they're looking at 3-4-1, right? I don't think that's a playoff team. I don't think their defense is good enough. They would even have to make the playoffs going into this weekend. And I was like, oh, why don't we just jump on them? Because we know they will. But now that I look at the schedule, at 3-4-1 halfway, that's not good.

That's not going to get a wild card. What's weird is we might know who the six playoff teams are in each conference. You think so? I'm just saying I could list the six, I think, in each conference, and then we could go back in Week 17, and I might actually nail all six. So the Pats, Bengals, I think one of the AFC South teams, I don't know which one, but I think one makes it out.

I would probably say Jacksonville. I think the Chiefs and Chargers make it. And then Ravens or Browns. So I guess I didn't pick six, but I think that's... Ravens or Browns or Ravens or Steelers? I don't think the Steelers have it. I know they were moving the ball today,

but something's off with them. I still don't feel the Steelers have it. I know they were moving the ball today, but something's off with them. I still don't feel great about it. I thought I saw good things from them. They had six sacks. You saw good things offensively. I know Atlanta's kind of messy right now, but six sacks is big. But what I realized, I liked Atlanta plus, I think it was three and a half. Yeah.

I didn't realize that they were already kind of bemoaning the injuries. I didn't know the owner had already. It seems like they have kind of packed it in. I didn't realize that until the announcers were talking that during the game. We always talk about when a football team passes the point of no return with injuries. And it seems like they might have passed the point of no return. They had dudes all over the field that just should not have been in big spots.

This is a mash here. So how would you rank the AFC North then? The only thing I'll say with Atlanta, though, they have a little bit of a break. They have to win, I think, four out of these five games. Bucs, they're home for the Bucs, home for the Giants, I think, at the Redskins, at the Browns, and home for the Cowboys.

They go 4-1. They're 5-5. They have a shot. But anything less, they're in a lot of trouble. So, playoff likelihood, would you put Bengals first? Yeah, I like that team. Who would you put second? I know they got down 17-0.

That's one thing you don't see out of the Bengals, the 2010s coming down that much of a lead. And this was a sandwich game too. I mean, they have the Steelers this week. Didn't they play the Ravens last week? Who did they play last week? I think it was the Ravens. But they could have easily blown this and they came back. They were good. Their defense was solid. So who would you put

second? To the AFC? Maybe you're right. Because the thing is, Hugh Jackson's not going to allow the Browns to make the playoffs. Even if they, from a talent standpoint, they're in the top 12. He'll screw that up. They're going to have 11 ties. They can't make the playoffs. Do you think a 9-7 team

makes the AFC playoffs this year? I don't know. I think they're better than I thought the AFC. Yeah, I think the AFC is better. So then NFC... Because I think the Chargers will have 10 wins, I think. And then whatever second AFC North team, I think we'll have 10 wins. I think two come from the AFC North. One comes from the AFC South.

Then in the East, whoever the hell wins the NFC East, I don't even know. Bears, Saints, Panthers, Rams. know bears saints panthers rams and then it's like wide open for that six playoff spot and you could tell me one of seven teams the vikings are two two and one at gunpoint i would probably pick them to be the six playoff team and they and well the bears yeah i think you're you might be jumping ahead a little with the bears it's all right Trubisky had a great game against Tampa. They're 3-1. I get it. But let's see a little more from them.

Their defense is going to take care of business for them. I know. They're fun. But, you know, do they have a win like the Vikings do, like at Philadelphia? Let me see them win a big game like that. Maybe even the Lions. Yeah, I think both North divisions are very exciting this year. It's going to be a 9-7 or a 9-6-1, I feel like, for the wild card.

And you had that bet. We've mentioned this before, that every division champ would win at least nine games. Wasn't that the bet? Not excited about the NFC East right now. Yeah, so I was going to say say the Skins are 2-1 playing in New Orleans today probably going to lose. So we could have an NFC East

if the Skins lose that game. Skins 2-2 Cowboys 2-3 Eagles 2-3 Giants 1-4. Yikes. Yeah. I mean I have to root for your prediction

that the Eagles do well in November. Who? have to root for your prediction that the Eagles do well in November. Seahawks, did we almost cross them off last week? I wanted to. Did we cross somebody off? What did we say? We're going to do one every week, right? Oh, man.

We see. Remember, it was like between the Jets and the Seahawks, and we didn't feel good about either of them. I don't feel great about crossing off the Jets. They showed me a lot, huh? They were down 7-0. The defense played well. If you can get Darnold to throw for 200 yards and only 22, 23 times,

that's a good formula for them. I don't know where Robbie Anderson came from. He's on my bench, but whoever was covering him today ought to be ashamed of themselves. They were running the ball like crazy, too. Yeah, they're good. Leonard Williams had two sacks. They were good defensively. That might be like the West Coast team coming east, though.

Just wasn't ready kind of thing. I think instead of crossing anyone off this week, we should just cross the Raiders off a second time. Okay, yeah. Let's make the full X, right? Hey, it's time for a new segment on Guest Alliance. What is it? Presented by Crown Royal.

Crown Royal is doing something pretty cool this football season. They launched a responsible drinking campaign called The Water Break. It's all about encouraging people to hydrate between drinks for a better experience, whether at the game, watching at home, or in a bar. By the way, this has been one of my tricks for centuries. Have a great time.

Enjoy some Crown. Just don't be that person that ruins it for everyone. We have all seen that guy who drank too much watching the game. I have a feeling you see that guy every Sunday at Corolla's house, and it might even be the person that owns the house. Make the right call. I might drive him there, yeah. Make the right call and take a water break.

So we're going to talk who made the right call this week. Who do you have for us, Sal? Who made the right call this week in your mind? Well, Sean McVay made the right call. For all these guys who don't know what to do on fourth and one, wherever they are around their own 40 or their own 45. He went for it and he put Seattle away instead of punting. He did what we all talk about.

The patron, the bar patron fan, you ask everybody in the bar, what do you want to do? And if you're a Seattle fan, you wanted the ramps to punt that ball. And McVay went for it right up the middle, first down, game over. Great fist pump by Jared Goff. I agree. I love those moments. And I really do think it goes back to the Raiders

two years ago when Del Rio went for that two point and won the game in week one. It like completely transformed their season. It does have a real effect. My right call of the week, I got to give credit to Arizona. They landed a quarterback that I think is going to be pretty good. He kind of won me over today, Josh Rosen. I like how he handles himself.

You know, all these teams are looking for QBs. He started drifting for whatever reason, and they made a move and they went and got him. And I like what I see. I like what I see from Josh Rosen. So kudos to you, Arizona. I thought you made the right call. What?

He was 10 for 25 today. I like the way he carried himself. I don't care. No, he was all right. You go on the road, you win. Listen, we promised each other we wouldn't watch that game, and you broke the promise. We said we weren't going to watch that. I had a rooting interest.

And here's why I was impressed by Josh Rosen. Going against him, I actually felt a little nervous. I should have been happy when he was trying to make things happen. I don't know. Something I liked about him. I don't think he's got David Johnson and he's got Fitz, and that's about it. I don't think that's... I like this Christian Kirk guy Fitz and that's about it. I don't think that's...

I like this Christian Kirk guy, but yeah, you're right. And I think that David Johnson... The 75-yarder? I think he was short. But they felt bad for David Johnson. Like, all right,

we'll just give it to you. He just signed that big contract. Crown Royal reminds everyone this football season to take a water break and hydrate responsibly. Yeah. Speaking of responsibly, we're going to go over the week six lines.

Hey, real quick. Pete Carroll calls the timeout, and it was the right move to call the timeout there, but McVay, I don't want to give him too much credit, but he was going to punt before Pete Carroll called the timeout. And then he called the timeout, and they went for it. So this was the discussion in the ringer slack. People felt like McVay knew Carroll was going to call the timeout and did the whole Jedi mind trick of Pete Carroll.

I believe it. Got him to call the timeout. With him, I believe it. He's the best. Got him to call the timeout, put a little bell check. Somehow all these great coaching stories all come at Pete Carroll's expense of people playing chess as Pete Carroll's playing checkers. I don't know what to believe, but I like it.

Right now it's elder abuse, right? What all these coaches are doing to Pete Carroll. Yeah. I don't think it's fair. Seems like it. Hey, before we get to the week six lines, did you see the commercial for Bohemian Rhapsody? I don't think so. What? The song? What is it? What's Bohemian Rhapsody? It was the new movie

about Freddie Mercury with the guy that you love from Mr. Robot, your buddy. Oh, I didn't see it, but I've seen clips of it and I saw the trailer. Looked pretty good. I like it. Yeah. I like it. Looked pretty good good did you see A Star Is Born yet? I haven't you saw it? the whole Simmons family went I'll save it for Parent Corner

alright Thursday night Giants-Eagles it is in New York Saquon Barkley was he hurt on that? what happened? is he okay?

I forgot to check I thought he was okay yeah people freaked out for like two minutes on Twitter well I hope he's okay I forgot to check. I thought he was okay. Yeah. People freaked out for like two minutes on Twitter. Well, I hope he's okay. I bet him for offensive rookie of the year. I think that's six to one. That's a nice little bargain.

That looks pretty good. Eli, I thought, made some good throws in that game today. He had a couple of clutch old school Eli moments. Kind of roping people back in. He made some bad ones before he made some good ones, but for them to come back was pretty impressive. But I think this OBJ

thing is going to be rough. I think he feels he's the best quarterback in New York. He might. Yeah, it was a classic Eli game because people were freaking out about how bad and washed up he was and then all of a sudden he made a couple Eli throws.

It's like, alright, here we are again. What is this guy? Does he still have it? Does he not have it? I thought for them to come back from that muffed punt, which was Beckham's fault, largely his fault, that was big. That was something you hadn't seen from a Giants team before. Beckham brings a

lot to the table right now for the current hot take era. Uh-huh. I think there's going to be a lot of material for the people out there that are in the business of being outraged, including our favorite talking head guy. Oh, what's the talking head guy? Should I bring him in? Yeah, yeah.

Tell him to come in. A 53-man football team. Nobody is bigger than the other 52 guys in that team. Okay, Odell Beckham? You are not big. We don't care how much money you make. We don't care how talented you are. You are not bigger than the rest of this team.

Thanks Talking Heads guy. I like that. Thank you. I like that. Thanks. It's true too. I hate to say it. It really is true. Speaking of Talking Heads guy. I like that. Thank you. I like that. Thanks. It's true, too. I hate to say it, but it really is true. Speaking of Talking Heads, I know we always make fun of this, and this has been a running thing, but on the Fox show today, two of the four people on the Fox show picked the Packers as their upset pick. Incredible.

I tell all the executives at Fox, I said, please, I said, if you change one thing about the pregame show, please let it be that it's not so hard. It's just look at the newspaper. They have the lines, anything that's less than three, just don't touch it. Make them take something that's not because it just makes everybody look bad. I think where the Packers actually favored by game time, or was it time? I think they were getting a point. But that's ridiculous. It's not an upset. You don't think it's an upset if a team getting a point

wins the game? Well, if you want to say they're going to be losing 24-0 at half, then qualify it. That at least makes it legitimate. There's been at least five times over the last 15 years when somebody picked an upset and that team was favored, right?

On that show. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All the time. I think they're just afraid to say anything. Cause it's the funny thing about today's games where there are a lot of good upset picks.

Yeah. You know, you can, this was the first, this is the biggest week for when you would have thought like the week that we're with three double digit underdogs. One outright was the biggest week for the casinos, the bills, the Browns and the Seahawks made the, made Vegas a ton of money today.

Well, especially the Titans line started at three and a half and it got up to like seven at one point and came back down to like five and a half, six. I should have known. Some guy with a duffel bag put like a million dollars on the, that's not a joke. I mean, at least that's the rumor on the Titans. That's true. Big duffel bag. Yeah, but that was perfect. You knew exactly how that game

was going to go, right? It was going to come down to the end and Hauschka's either going to make it or not and they'll win or lose by three, right? One of the trifecta, Harry, didn't he like the Seahawks today? He loved the Seahawks. He loved them. He loved the money line or he just loved the spread? He had both.

He had a 16 parlay. I think it would have paid a couple thousand dollars, but he had the Rockies minus one and a half. And they didn't, I don't think they didn't score today. Good Lord. Thursday night. By the way, you know, Twitter can, there's certain people, it says it's inappropriate content. You can't see their tweet.

Yeah. Like some people just have the stink on them. Usually it's like comedians or people like that. And you have to change your settings to be able to see their tweets. Somehow my settings did not translate the sensitive material thing. And I got to see Parley Kidd's little video that he put up of Harry pulling his shirt up at the hockey game. And Harry's naked, Harry bulbous torso. I got to see that on Twitter somehow. That was at the coyotes game.

No less. This was in front of a bunch of people. That wasn't my eyes weren't protected from that. All right. Yeah. I should have warned you. I'm sorry. Harry lost. Didn't you lose 60 pounds last year with your bet? a bunch of people. That wasn't, my eyes weren't protected from that. All right, yeah, I should have warned you. I'm sorry.

Harry lost, didn't he lose 60 pounds last year with your bet? Yeah, you know, I'm starting to think I was hustled there, that he did it just to get the money from me

and he did and then he gained like 45 back. I was, 45? I was going to go higher. I was going to say 70. I don't know.

I don't know. Yeah, I'm disgusted by the whole thing. Well, unfortunately, I can't unsee higher. I was going to say 70. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. I'm disgusted by the whole thing. Well, I, unfortunately I can't unsee it. I have a,

I have the giants by two and a half at home against Philly. Oh, I hit this exactly. And you're right. It's two and a half, but it's the Eagles. Favorite by two and a half. Wow.

Really? What are they? She is not impressed with that Giant win, I guess. Are they impressed by the Eagles? I don't know. But you're not taking the Giants here, are you? I think it's a stay away.

I don't like the Thursday nights to begin with, but then, man, this is the whole season on the line for the Giants. If they make it Giants minus two and a half, then everyone, their mother has the Eagles on a teaser, right? So you can't really do that. Well, I'll tell you one thing.

There's 53 guys on a football team now. And Odell Beckham is not bigger than the other 52 guys on that team. He's just not. Sunday marquee. There's only one choice. Go ahead. The game will be in Foxborough, Massachusetts. Yeah. It will feature

the greatest quarterback of all time, Tom Brady and the Steph Curry of football, Pat Mahomes. You might want to reverse that. Maybe Mahomes is the greatest of all time. I did this. I went on Jalen and Jacoby on Tuesday and did a whole thing about

how the Mahomes-Curry thing it's not like when Curry came into the league, it didn't happen right away like it's happening with Mahomes. But I think the similarities to me he's blossoming at a time when the league is just changing.

And it reminds me a lot of what happened with Curry, where Curry comes in and he's the perfect three-point shooter and the best shooter we've ever had. But he comes in right as math is coming into basketball and spacing and people are starting to cut out on fast breaks and people are really valuing the three-pointer. And now in football where you can't hit the quarterback, can't hit wide receivers going over the middle, you need like that perfect kind of flag football type QB with the cannon arm. It's just like the perfect era for somebody like that. Yeah, and I loved it and I watched it. And you guys, by the end of that segment, came up with probably nine similarities, and they were all dead on. Yeah. But I was thinking of one more. Mahomes needs a cool, badass oral fixation thing like Steph does with the mouth guard.

I mean, even if he's chewing on the flap on his armband for the playbook or something. He needs something like that. I don't know what it could be, but I want to recommend a few things. Maybe he should dangle the mouthpiece out of his mouth when he does it. Yeah, but he has a mouthpiece. It would be too simple, but short of that, he needs something for sure. Both guys have that thing where

kids are in just blind. My son, who barely watches football, knows what's going on. The only two football players he likes right now are Mahomes and Odell. And I keep telling him, Odell Beckham is not bigger than the other 52 guys in this team.

But Mahomes... What does he say? Does he respond to that? No, he gets it. I think he understands. Okay, but with Steph, those fantasy numbers aren't as important in the NBA. But they're just delighted by how many threes he can

rain down. And maybe it's 12 one game or maybe it's eight or whatever it is. But Mahomes, it's all fantasy stats, right? For kids. Mahomes, there's a heat check element that he has that Curry has. And then there's also just that kind of wow factor. Like when Curry pulls up from 32 and just makes the three and you're like,

Oh my God, what just happened? Mahomes had a play today and he underthrew it. The Tyreek Hill play. Did you see that play when he threw it like 75 yards and, and he was mad because the ball must've like slightly slipped out of his hands. Cause he clearly could have thrown it 85 and he didn't get all of it.

And the throw was still longer than probably any quarterback in the league could have thrown. And it was like watching somebody hit a drive that goes into the rough. Like, oh man, I hooked that a little bit. And it was like, Jesus, like he's going to have, he's going to catch Tyreek Hill in stride on like an 80 yarder this year. It's going to happen. Yeah.

And then the Kelsey thing. Well, we saw something like that in the preseason. It was similar, but yeah, I hope it happens before the weather gets crappy. And then the Kelsey part of this whole thing. Kelsey's clearly the tight end goat now that Gronk has, you know, moved into a different phase of his career.

I don't, you paid Gronk, you paid 30 for Gronk has moved into a different phase of his career. You paid 30 for Gronk, Kelsey? I don't remember what he did not go for. I don't know why, because Gronk was supposed to go for 36, and I'm like, all right, I'll stay in this until 32 in the auction. No one bid 31. What a steal this is. This guy is going to be tripled teamed every play. I can't wait.

Well, speaking of steals, the Pats at home against the Chiefs. I have the Pats by four and a half. I think this is right in the Vegas zone. I don't think people know what the F to do with this one. What do you think? I said four. I thought that was very fair. Vegas is not budging.

They have it at three, which is very surprising. Wow. Very surprising, considering they wouldn't move off the three with the Chiefs against the Jaguars. They basically considered that on a neutral field an even game. And now here they are. Three points. The Chiefs, the Mirage, good game, Arrowhead, Bortles.

What do we make of that? Because the Chiefs D look completely different. Actually, they looked okay. They got some stops in the Broncos game too, but they actually were making plays today, and I don't know what to make of that whole thing anymore because they looked like a sieve. They played well for like a game and a half.

Yeah. So that was a Monday game on a short week. That second, that second half of the Broncos game. Cause we didn't get to talk about it last week. They got, they got stronger actually. They did.

Rather very different from bed, like back to the ball interceptions and stuff. And then it continued that Anthony Hitchens is nice. He's a great addition. That what they have five sacks today on, on Bortles. They look good. All right.

I will say I thought the Ryan Grant injury was really big for the Jags. I just like him. I think he's good. I thought he really killed the Patriots. Once they lost him, it was just they were just too predictable with I don't know, between Bortles.

They don't really have that kind of game-breaker guy. Hopkins in that Dallas game tonight, he was spectacular. Is Hopkins one right now? Is he the number one receiver right now? Who would you put over him? Thielen? He's uncoverable. He really is. That Byron Jones, you heard him. They said that was his first pass interference call ever.

You just get too frustrated trying to blanket that guy. Hopkins won? Who's to? To have on your team or your fantasy team? Just like the best receiver. Best receiver today. Yeah, I don't think... It used to be Hopkins... Oh, shit.

Yeah, Brown's number one still. Fuck, I forgot about him. I was thinking more Hopkins versus Julio because that was a big argument last year. Julio might not even be best on his team. I know. So Brown's Brown, I would say 1A. Hopkins,

Hopkins distant 1B. And then you're my little white guy in Minnesota. I think it's good right in there, too. Where's Keenan Allen for you? Is he top five? I don't know. I feel like he doesn't put two, three good games together.

But maybe that's all these guys. All right. Let's go to the watchers. I think you'll be able to score, though. The Patriots, I think, will score 27 to 33 right in there, right? I think it's a bad matchup for the Pats. Really? For the same reason the Chiefs are a bad matchup

with every other team in the league. They're back, though. Edelman, it's just nice. The rinky-dink. You have James White. What do you have? Ten receptions Thursday. You have Edelman back.

You can kind of do what you want. We're back offensively. I think the problem is defensively. Right. This team has a couple things that the Pats have had trouble with, most noticeably the tight end. Eric Ebron looked like Antonio Gates in 2006 in that game on Thursday night. Tight ends, I think, are just going to get open against this Pats team.

And then... Can I tell you, my friend Harry, you mentioned him. He used to call this game, a game like this, it fits the tribe by cuspid. Now, that doesn't mean anything, those words, except that it has the word try in it. So if the Jaguars are the common team, the Jaguars kill the Patriots,

the Chiefs kill the Jaguars. So it would make sense that the Patriots destroy the Chiefs. the Jaguars. So it would make sense that the Patriots destroy the Chiefs. That's Harry's tribe by cuspid. You mean rock, paper, scissors? Yeah, it's basically rock, paper, scissors, but you do the opposite. Like, uh,

rock is covering paper. It's like Bizarro Rock, Paper, Scissors. Way to go, Harry. You did it again. The watchables. I have three watchables this week. Go ahead. Bengal Steelers is a nice one.

No! What? It's unwatchable. There's going to be too many hits. It's going to be too vicious. There's going to be seven guys carted off in the first quarter. No, they don't play football that way anymore, Sal. It's a gentler game. It's a much gentler

game. Perfect Strangers is back in seven tackles today. It's going to be dirty. Oh, I didn't think about that. God, who's he going to take out in this game? That should be a prop. You should do that in the Riverboat Casino this week. Yeah. Over under that in the Riverboat Casino this week.

Yeah. We'll over under a quarter as Perfect Strangers plays this week. He gets to play. Let me ask you this. Did Le'Veon Bell, he announces week four. He's like, I'm going to come back week seven. Did he look at this game on the schedule and say, I don't want any part of this nonsense? Maybe.

That would be smart if that was what he did. Why would you give yourself two extra weeks off anyway? Why would he do that? It sounds like you're way higher on the Steelers team right now than I am. No, no, I'm not. Well, guess the line here because this is interesting. I have Bengals at three at home over the Steelers. I said three.

I thought maybe I was a little low. I think the Bengals are a smidge, maybe a little more than a smidge better at their home. Two and a half. Hmm. How much of that is that the Steelers are a public team

and they know they can probably get it? Public team, they need it more. I've watched football every week. I think the Bengals just are better Now it doesn't mean they'll win the game But I just think they're consistently better On both sides of the ball than Pittsburgh is I do too, but maybe you don't even count that in this game

Because they beat the shit out of each other so much These two teams Might just be last possession kind of thing I like the Bengals, I hope it stays a 2.5 Chargers at Browns is my second watchable. You could argue this is a this could have been the Sunday marquee game

if we didn't have Pat's Chiefs. I cannot wait to watch Chargers-Browns. This has just about everything I want from a football game. I enjoy the hell out of watching the Browns. I love watching the Chargers. I have Phil Rivers on both of my fantasy teams. I enjoy the hell out of watching the Browns. I love watching the Chargers. I have Phil Rivers on both of my fantasy teams. I enjoy Melvin Gordon. I like the shots of Anthony Lynn flatlining

on the sidelines. They have some guys on defense that I think are exciting. I like the rookie safety. I don't know when Boza's coming back, but maybe he'll come back for this game. Well, Melvin Ingram's good today at a second interception he was really good today and then from the Browns side Hugh Jackson he could be holding up three after this game yeah that's right

who knows how high do you think he can go with those fingers probably not in the past three he'd have to figure out how to use his second hand if he gets to seven wins. I just think this has, when you look at what's happened with the Browns, where they had a realistic chance to have four ties this year. They put four of their five games.

It really seemed like it was going to be a tie at some point. All of the dumb things that they do at the end of the games, the problems they've had on special teams, the problem they've had with field goal kicking. And then you go on the other side with the Chargers, same problems, same weird clock management, weird decisions, pulling defeat out of victory. I am prepared for a last two minutes apocalypse of something really, truly, memorably horrible happening to one of these two teams.

I have the Chargers favored by three in Cleveland. I have the same number. Chargers minus three. And Vegas has it. Chargers minus one and a half. Ooh, see, I'm telling you the Browns, man. A lot of talent on that team. It pays off to pick first every year for like a decade.

I guess it does. Yeah, yeah. Trust the process. But yeah, I guess if you're going to go to overtime every week, you take your chances on one and a half, right? Like which way you want to go with it. Why not? I just think the Chargers, I know I'm going to eat my words here,

but the Chargers against the Raiders was a three-point game the last six years, right, no matter what. No matter how good we thought the Chargers were, no matter how bad we thought the Raiders were. I just, I like to think they like take care of business. And like I said, like the Rams and the chiefs are their only losses. Maybe they're better. Maybe they're just better. So you're saying maybe they're, would you say they're the good, bad team? Cause I think the bears are the good, bad team. No, they're good. You think they're trying to do just good. No, they're good. You think the Chargers are just good? I think they're good.

I know they struggled against the Niners, but they got off to a bad start. I don't think they're the team we expected the last few years. I can't wait to watch that game. And I think Cleveland beat the Chargers. Wasn't that their last win before they started winning this year, like two years ago? That was their last Sunday win,

like two and a half years ago or something. I can't wait. The other watchables I have, just because I really enjoy the hell out of this team, the Rams at the Broncos. I think the Rams are now a must-watch. Every week, who's been more consistently enjoyable on both ends of the ball than them? The Rams. The best. Really like them. Yeah, Rams and

Chiefs too, right? Chiefs, yeah. The Chiefs have been explosive offensively, a little spotty on the other end. The Rams, you know, they'll come up with the big pass, the big sack on third and 14. They'll give up a 60-yard play for no reason. Yeah.

Two really entertaining teams. I'd expect sack on third and 14. They'll give up a 60-yard play for no reason. Yeah. Yeah. Two really entertaining teams. I expect they'd have to be honest. A little more of a lockdown situation from Wade Phillips, where they play one quarter where the team isn't able to do anything. I haven't seen that in a little bit. Well, I think their cornerbacks got hurt. Yeah.

I think they had it. I just thought the pass rush would be a little better. Yeah. I have Rams by seven in Denver. Yeah, we all have seven. I said seven. Vegas has seven also. And again, this is like their third trap game in a row.

How many of these are they going to survive? Well, what do we make of the Jets running all over Denver today? That's not a good sign. Just the fact that they went east on a short week, I think, hurt them. Even though they scored first. But you never want to be in a situation where Case Keenum is throwing over 50 times. And that's what happened. The barely watchables.

There's a lot of them this week Falcons at home against the Bucs would you put this in the poopfecta? I don't know a lot of fantasy guys in this game you have your number locked in because I want to Vegas thinks it's going to be a closer game

than I do I had Falcons by three I just don't think they're good thinks it's going to be a closer game than I do. I had Falcons by three. I just don't think they're good. All right, you're going to get closer than I did. I said six. These must wins at home, they have to put a touchdown win together, but it's three and a half, so you got it.

They just lost too many guys on defense, unfortunately. It's the point of no return. So, if there's ever a week for Jameis to get going, this is the week. So this is Dirk Cutter off his bye. Jameis is starting.

The Fitzmagic talk is over. And you think this is like a three-point game? I could see Tampa winning this game. Alright. That'd be something. Two teams that just aren't good. I could see Tampa winning this game. All right. That'd be something. Two teams that just aren't good.

Oakland is home. Speaking of not good, playing the Seahawks, who won my respect today. I like how they won at the St. Louis, Los Angeles Rams. This arguably also could have been a poop fact the game, but I find it strangely captivating to watch Gruden's facial expressions after something's bad happened. I don't know if you've enjoyed it as much as I have,

but there was a couple of beauties today when they just cut to him and he just looked like he smelled the worst fart of all time. It was really nice to have him back. So I have the Raiders by two and a half over the Seahawks. Oh, okay. I had Seattle by one and it's Seattle by three. Really?

Yeah. I'm off this week, which usually means weird shit's going to happen. I've been up by four plus points on two. Two of these games so far. I have a real bad one

coming up where I was way off. But, you know But it's funny. Seattle lost to the Rams, but I almost feel like this is a hangover game. They'll treat it like they won. Right. They'll just go in there.

Yeah, they'll slop it up against Oakland. Man, that was bad. I need to regroup. Let's take a break. Let's talk about our friends at Simply Safe Home Security. Built strong, smart, easy to use, exactly how your home security should be. Goes beyond what a home security. Built strong, smart, easy to use, exactly how your home security should be. Goes beyond what a home security should be.

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Pretty grotesque week. We have a couple really super entertaining games and then a bunch of messed up ones. Chicago is at Miami. I have the Bears by three. This feels like the classic everyone blows the Bears all week and then Trubisky goes nine for 36

with five interceptions in Miami. I thought you would like this game more. I didn't think you'd put it in the barely watchable. Chicago's 3-1. Miami is maybe a rinky-dink 3-2 team. But you got the line right. This is when I was five points off. I said Miami by two, and you're right.

It's Bears by three. I don't like watching Miami. No, it's not fun. I don't enjoy it. There was a week when we thought they were faster than everybody, and then it all went to crap. Yeah, it turns out, no, they're actually not faster than everybody. Minnesota is home.

They're taking on my man Josh Rosen in his 10 for 25. It was a deceiving 10 for 25, though. This is in Minnesota, right? In Minnesota, yeah. I think this line's going to be too high. I'm going to say Minnesota by six, and I really feel like it should be Minnesota by like three and a half, but I'm going to say Minnesota by six.

You're going to lose your mind. I said eight and a half, and it's ten and a half. That's idiotic. Well, here's idiotic. Well, here's the thinking. They can't lose a game like this again at home. So they have to win. They have to get off the right.

They had their bad loss this year with the Bills. So you think this is going to be close? I guess, but their defense just isn't that good anymore. I have a lot of problem with double-digit favorites that don't have a defense that can close games. Even today, that game was over, and Philly came back, and it was a two-point game by the end. I don't think their defense can close. My new thing this year is don't lay giant points

with a team that doesn't have a defense that can't extend the lead. Minnesota's defense is not the same anymore. Well, that's probably smart. But you really, that's asking a lot of Josh Rosen to keep the second road game close in a week. I have to bring Talking Head guy back in. Oh, go ahead, bring him in. What's he going to say? You know, everybody's talking about Arizona doesn't have weapons.

You know who's a weapon? David Johnson. How about that? David Johnson is a very damn good running back. People do forget though, Sal. They forget he's good. What kind of weapon is he? He's a weapon.

He's a really good running back. He's a... There... Yeah, I missed that one. I thought San Francisco was... That was bad. A bad week this week. Hold on.

You have five, one, two, three, including ties. I have seven, but there's still a few games left. Well, here's a game that it's guaranteed that whatever we pick is the other thing will happen. Redskins home against the Panthers. This just feels like something we're going to both bet on and get wrong. I won't pick this right. Yeah. I have the Redskins by two and a half.

Yeah. I couldn't even pick a line right. It's Redskins by two. I thought Carolina was favored by one and a half. But we'll learn more tomorrow night or tonight. I have my eye on Carolina. Again, we don't know what we have until mid-November, but I think they have some pieces.

I like the way McCaffrey's playing this year, too. They're using a much smarter, right? Yeah, it's just he's exciting this year. And I don't know, they have good mojo. And you look at seasons when weird shit happens in a positive way, and it's usually a good sign. And if it's the difference between that 63-yard field goal and moments like that where they go 12-4

and you're like, how did they go 12-4? Then you go back and you're like, oh, there was that game and they made the 63-yard field goal. It just seems like they're possibly headed toward a season like that when they overachieve with their record. Last one. I'm in on Saints-Panthers. I think that's an excellent battle for the top there.

Oh, I did this before the night game. I'm going to move this out. I had one more barely watchable, but I'm throwing it in the poopfecta. Let's move to the poopfecta. Jets-Colts. God bless everybody on both teams. I can't get excited for this.

I probably should because both teams can move the ball, but just I can't get excited for it. So I put in the poop fact that Jets minus three at home I have. Yeah, we both got it. That's exactly what it is, three. That's another one I won't be able to bet and win. Yeah, stay away. Stay away. This one's really bad.

This is really a pure poop fact of the game. Texans home for the Bills. I got the Texans by four. We both whiffed. I went six and a half. It's eight and a half. You won that one.

They're just not trusting these lesser teams on the road. But who's the worst two and three team out of these two? Can you think of any scenario where Bill O'Brien and the Texans should be favored

by more than a touchdown over anyone in the league? Because I can't. I'm just thinking this quarterback, he keeps the legs going. The Texans, the pass rush might just be too much for him. I'm just thinking this quarterback, he keeps the legs going. The pass rush might just be too much for him.

I have an announcement to make for our third Poopfecta game. What is it? I think your team is a permanent Poopfecta staple. We'll take it. Yeah. Unless you're playing like the Chiefs, the Patriots, or the Rams. I just think you're permanently like the Chiefs, the Patriots, or the Rams.

I just think you're permanently in the poopfecta. It's so- The Thanksgiving game, they're going to be in the poopfecta on Thanksgiving when there's three games. It's a turkey poopfecta. I just can't. I hate watching the Cowboys. I can't even imagine how you feel.

It's your team. I'm with you, brother. Think about what it's like when you don't care about the team, how awful it is to watch them. The most unimaginative and then it's like, oh, Tavon Austin's in. Whoa, look out. Whoa. It's like, come on. The most exciting thing you have is Tavon Austin.

The fact that when he comes in, the defense has to pay attention to him. It is awful to watch. That was a great play, though, I will say. That was. No matter what the Cowboys do the whole rest of the season, that will be the greatest play of the year for them. They are the missionary position of NFL teams. It is unbelievable how predictable and boring and just you can.

It's like having a dog. I have three dogs. I know what they're doing and thinking at every point of the day now. It's like, oh, Jesse's getting a little frisky. She must be hungry or she must want to take a dump outside. There's only like five options if she's just walking around the house at three o'clock ready for something. It's like, oh, you have to take a dump? You need water?

You just kind of go through the checklist? That's like watching oh, you have to take a dump? You need water? You just kind of go through the checklist? That's like watching Dallas. Right. It's funny you mentioned the missionary position because I'm positive. I'm deadly positive that Jason Garrett has pictures of Jerry Jones quite possibly in the missionary position

or something. Might be. Somewhere. Do you think he could get hired as an offensive coordinator? No. Running back coach? Quarterback coach?

No, I don't think pro level. I don't think it's a secret around the league. I think it's out there. I have the Jags favored by three in Dallas. All right, you are going to get this one. I said three and a half and it's only two hmm this is a game

the Jags have to win right if they're going to win you know whatever you lose to the Chiefs that's fine but I did realize something

it's a bad matchup for a Cowboy I realized something with the Jags today you can figure out what's going to happen in their games by who scores the first touchdown

hmm if they score first it's the game goes completely differently you can figure out what's going to happen in their games by who scores the first touchdown. If they score first, the game goes completely differently for them than if all of a sudden they're down 10-3 or 13-7, whatever, and it's like they can't do the switch to come back. They have to have the lead first. You don't like Bortles down 10-3 or anything to three? I don't like Bortles down 2-0.

Sunday night. These are some bad night games. You knew it was going to happen. You knew we were headed at some point further. Wait, I think you got this wrong. Sunday night's your game. Oh, really? KC New England, right? Oh, that's... I thought that was an afternoon game.

No. All right, so you're over under half of schedule screw-up has hit. I did it again. Wait, so we have a new marquee game. So I think that makes Chargers-Browns the marquee game. Well, you missed one also, though. Baltimore-Tennessee is a late afternoon game. Oh, see, I thought that was the Sunday night game.

No. Wait, let me make sure here. No, I think you're right. I'm almost positive. I'm a moron. All right, so congratulations. Chargers-Browns is our marquee game this week. Do you feel that you have a better shot now that it's at night?

I mean, you lost a night game already. It's not like Belichick to lose. Right? The Lions was a night game. It'd be hard to lose two night games in four weeks. Yeah. I don't know. What do you think, nephew? You like that it's a Sunday night game? I don't like anything about this game. But I'm going to watch

every second of it. I don't like anything about this game. He knows he's being shipped off to Russia. They're not going to appreciate every second of it. I don't like anything about this game. He knows he's being shipped off to Russia. They're not going to appreciate that tattoo there either. So, Tex, going backwards, Titans-Ravens, that's in Tennessee. I'm trying not to overreact to the Titans game today, but I do think when they play teams that are just kind of those grinded out physical, boring teams

when they're like looking in the mirror, it's not good for them, right? The Bills are basically like a worse version of the Titans. And it kind of threw the Titans off. I don't like the Ravens are kind of the better version of the Titans, whereas the same kind of boring,

you know, good special teams. I think they both play to the level of the Titans, whereas the same kind of boring, you know, good special teams. I think they both play to the level of the competition, right? Right. But the Ravens are better at it. Is that better for the Titans, that they're playing a better version of themselves? It might just be an explosion. Yeah, I don't know what's going on.

Yeah. It's like a Chris Evans, Chris Pine. Right. The other Chris. The three Chrises. I have a Evans, Chris Pine. Right. The other Chris. The three Chrises. I have Titans by three over the Ravens. I had a pick. I got a headache thinking about this.

And it's Ravens by two. In Tennessee? Yep. All right, so I've now been five points off, four or five points off three different games, which does not happen very often. I beat you this week, Bill. There's only one game left.

I'm up two, yeah. Well, that Monday night game is not a good game. They were hoping for an Aaron Rodgers, Jimmy Garoppolo, handsome off. Right. They didn't get it. They got C.J. Beathard. And they got a Packers team that

does not look like they're a playoff team. You know, I have no idea if C.J. Beathard is handsome, but I think he should start promoting himself as such, right? Maybe he should. He should be like, hey, I'm pretty good looking. Maybe get a PR team or something. Yeah. I have the Packers by six

and a half against the Niners. Yeah, you went low on it. There's a few big lines. I said eight and a half and it's nine. I think these big lines are dumb. None of these teams are that good. I just don't think Vegas gets beat up with San Francisco

on the road, Buffalo on the road, Arizona on the road. They need to jack that to a seven, right? I know, but I gave you my top 18 teams and Green Bay wasn't on it. So you're two teams in the bottom 14 of the league. It's hard for me to believe one of those double digits on the other.

I think they want to fight their way into your top 13 or 14. They're not getting in. Sorry. I will say, remember when we were growing up I felt like the Packers lost at Lambeau once every four years. The Seahawks lost in Seattle once every

three or four years. Not necessarily growing up, but not very long ago. Right? Now it's doesn't even matter if they're home. It's only a matter of how many teams I tease and parlay the Rams in Denver with. But it's at least four. Wow. Yeah.

I think we keep riding them. I think you're right. They don't get tripped up until they get tripped up. This is the first week they didn't cover. But I just think when they lose, it's going to be against somebody. It's not going to be against a team like Denver. Is Case Keenum?

Well, he was on the Rams, right? What am I thinking? He was. Before the Vikings, yeah. It's got to be. It's got to be some hatred there. It needs to get out. Let's take one more break.

We'll come back. We'll talk about the baseball playoffs, the UFC fight, and Parent Corner. Hey, we're well into football season. I'm sure a lot of us already have major regrets about our season-long fantasy teams. I'm not one of them. I did a good job this year with fantasy. I am doing a terrible job with daily

fantasy. Doesn't matter. I'm still excited to play on FanDuel. I'm still excited to get my butt kicked every week. It's never been more fun or easy. It's the place to play if you're not a fantasy expert. I would say I'm not a fantasy expert this year. I'm just a fantasy schmuck. FanDuel has something for everyone. More ways to win than ever before. Like a gridiron pick-em contest every week. It's a free contest. Just pick winners, no spreads. 10K split amongst the top pickers. I've been playing in single entry contests. That's my free contest. Just pick winners, no spreads. 10K split amongst the top pickers. I've been playing in single entry contests. That's my favorite way to play. Maybe I should stop because I've been terrible. This week's spike contest, only $5 to enter with a 100K prize pool.

First place, 10K. Join this week's spike contest. Play against me at fanduel.com slash BS. New users get a $20 bonus when they make their first deposit on FanDuel. Again, fanduel.com slash BS. New users get a $20 bonus when they make their first deposit on Fanduel. Again, Fanduel.com slash BS. All right, baseball playoffs. David Price shit the bed in game two. He is getting a level of vitriol that is pretty uncommon in Boston. Boston Twitter was as angry as I've seen about any Boston athlete. Really, really furious about yet another no-show.

And I'm in the corner of, I still haven't totally given up on him. I don't know if I have Stockholm syndrome. He was really good down the stretch. Now we're going back to Yankee Stadium. And these Yankees, they have these dudes that come up one after the other. They're all gigantic. And you feel like every one of them can hit a 480 foot Homer, which is exactly what happened three different times in Saturday's game. You're an innocent bystander. You hate both teams. You ate Yankee fans. You ate Boston fans. I'm sure you've watched at least some of this stuff.

Yeah, no, I've watched. I think think like and I was rooting for the Yankees against the A's because I'm like oh yeah Yankees Red Sox is fun let's just do it and then the games are played I'm like I have no one I don't know who I want to root for here because our friend Daniel's insufferable and the parlay kid and brother Breyer insufferable

as Yankee fan like I don't know what to do you're right there too and Hench I think I'm pretty sufferable you don't think David I don't know what to do. You're right there too and hench. I think I'm pretty sufferable. You don't think David Price should pitch against the Yankees again, right? You're just saying if they advance against the Astros or something, right? I would bring him in again. It's not like the other

guys are good. Have you seen our pitchers? I just think there's certain guys that stay away. You wouldn't want Bucky Dent pinch hitting as a 60 year old right now would you just get it out of there already have you seen our other pitchers no just

survive the next two games or three games well he's not pitching the next two I think they could win two in Yankee Stadium personally the weird thing is you do the same with the Mets, you watch your team day in and day out. Yeah.

There were guys that didn't play in those first two games that I really wanted to play. Brock Holt was probably one of the hottest hitters on the team in September. He didn't even sniff the field in the first two games. He played Nunez, who is my least favorite Red Sox player. If he's listening,

it's nothing personal. I just don't know what you do good on a baseball field. I can't figure it out. The second worst hitter we have, they say like he's in there for his defense. It's not like his defense is really good. Uh, I didn't get that. Sandy Leone, who I think has been the worst hitter in baseball the last couple months, he was out there.

Swihart, who I actually like and feel like he could make stuff happen, was not seen in the two games. And then, the one thing that really hurt

Stephen Wright was, I thought, their second best reliever going into the series and they got hurt. They didn't even know that he got hurt. What do you think?

What's the over-under? I mean, I think you may need Kimbrell to get like a 17-out save at some point. But the problem is when they bring him in before the ninth, it's kind of a heart attack. So what did he get, a four-out? Yeah, but he gave up a homer. You only want him to pitch the ninth, ideally, but I don't think they can get through that.

And then the thing that bothers me is it seems like the Yanks are getting their mojo. They're getting like their kind of lumberjack mojo. It's like this big, big-ass team of just big dudes, and they're doing forearm bumps after homers, and they got a little swagger to them, which I don't like. I was really bummed out that we didn't throw at Sanchez at the end of that game in game two. Oh, interesting.

First of all, the brazier had to bark at him to get back in the box. But then he hit the second homer he hit. He watched it. He dropped the bat. It's like, just throw at that dude the next time. You can't do that. It's a playoff series.

And Hembree was pitching, guy on second, two outs, perfect time to just hit Sanchez or at least dust him and nothing. So I don't know, that worried me. I didn't like the vibe coming out of game two. Yeah.

Well, let me just say, I watched a game with my, uh, my new friends. I walked into the, uh, the lounge area at Fox with A-Rod, Big Poppy, D'Andre Willis. And, uh, these guys, uh, you know, I'm gonna give them credit. They looked at me and, um, and then they never, uh, they never spoke a word to me after that. So that was that. A-Rod, huh? I think you're in a weird spot, though,

because I don't know if you'll ever see anything like this, because you had, how many wins did the Yankees have? Like 100? I don't even remember now. But they got hot in the last 10 days, whereas the Red Sox were able to cool off. You were worried about sale. I think his last three starts, he averaged like 38 pitches. So you're really like coddling these guys.

And it wasn't typical of a team with 108, 109, whatever, how many wins you guys had. Well, you watch like the Astros, and I really thought the Indians were going to give them a series. And then Verlander game one, Cole game two, and those guys were just lights out. It was like, you're just not hitting me today. them a series and then Verlander game one, Cole game two. And those guys were just lights out. It was like, you're just not hitting me today. That was,

Sayle was our version of that and Sayle was out of the game with one out in the sixth inning. We had to sweat out the game one. And you know, now you're talking about Evaldi. I'm not even sure what they'll do with game four, But I assume Porcello, but who the hell knows? And then the Astros are like, yeah, let these guys beat the crap out of each other. We're the better team anyway. You know, they like Kluber up. They're beating good pitchers.

Well, that's what killed me. They might just have a little rest. The Kluber's really good. And the Indians need to come through and he got shelled. Yeah. He got shelled. Yeah. He got annihilated. He was up four. I know nothing about the National League. I just watch my team. I watch the American League. The fact that the

Brewers are in the final four is kind of just dumbfounded to me. I mean, they haven't lost in like three weeks. Yeah. In that game one, it went to extra innings. I felt like, well, the Rockies win this. They may take the series. And it went from that to they didn't score again in the next two days.

And all they had to do was get to the Brewers lefties because the Rockies kill lefties. And Wade Miley was good and was very solid today. Now you got me thinking they can go as far as they want. You might see them in the series. Brewers, Dodgers, who do you have? I have the Brewers. I bet the Brewers plus 260 to win the NL.

Wow. Red Sox 108 wins, Yankees 101. That's right. Okay. Good Lord. This will be fun. I think this is one of the best 10-day stretches we have in sport, 12 days, whatever. This is one of my favorite 10-day stretches we have in 12 days, whatever.

This is one of my favorite runs right now. Definitely. It was a little bit of a bummer when the Cubs were knocked out, but there's good games every night now. Yeah, I can't say I watched a lot of the Rockies-Brewers series. I'm not going to lie. Didn't really crack my agenda. These next things, we got basketball.

We're doing on against all odds we're gonna do futures me and House good at some point House and I are doing

over-unders on this pod lots going on so did you see the fight? I did not see the fight I'm so tired of getting burned by these UFC

pay-per-views that and I was with the fam and we decided just have dinner and go to seeviews that, and I was with the fam and we decided just to have dinner and go to see A Star is Born and I punted it. It was after the Red Sox

Yankee game. I was in a foul mood anyway and the way the Red Sox game was going, I was like, maybe I'll get the fight and toggle, but then,

you know, I just was like, I wasn't in the mood. So A Star is Born is like your blood diamond? Is like my blood diamond? A little bit. Yeah.

Very similar endings. But, um, but yeah, of course I missed out on, on the best one. I have a lot of regrets. And that was great.

You know, the fight itself wasn't spectacular. The one before, uh, Ferguson was great. Uh, but the, um,

I thought, you know, in terms of a rematch, I think Khabib is just better on all levels I don't think it's a good matchup for McGregor I think Khabib could trade with him one of those things where like the crowd even when McGregor was pawing at Khabib

he got a big pop so you couldn't even tell what was going on but takedown wise he was all over him there's nothing McGregor can do and I thought he was going to break his neck because it wasn't really a submission. It wasn't a chokehold.

It was above his chin and he was just cranking that neck. And I'm like, Oh my God, McGregor is just going to be really stubborn and just die here. Yeah. He's trying to kill him. Yeah. Yeah.

Like a Schwarzenegger ask in some of those 80s movies. But, um, and then the aftermath, I'm just not buying it. Everybody who says like, Oh, this is terrible for the sport, they're loving every minute of it. They played the bus footage over and over and over from different angles,

like angles you didn't even know you had to promote this fight, and so now you don't like this part of it. Like, it was great. It was all good. Yeah, it seems like the roadmap for UFC now is to become a cross between mma and wwe and you could feel it when you know when they had with what they're doing with lesnar and having guys after somebody wins the next guy they're gonna fight is all of a sudden in the ring talking shit it's become more theatrical they are clearly trying to boost it as a mainstream sport.

And I'll tell you, it's working. It was on House of Highlights, that crazy riot slash brawl. That was all anyone talked about for 12 hours. My son, who knows nothing, was like, Dad, what about that UFC fight last night? So they won. They did it. They really did. So the guy that came in after McGregor, sucker punch him, that's not good.

I think he was arrested. He should be. But Khabib going after the hooligan from McGregor's camp, everyone's treating it as if he went after a man and his younger daughter. Right. He went after a Rashid. Yeah. Yeah, it wasn't Pacers Pistons.

No. So I liked it. I have a, after watching the fight like 20 times, the post-fight fight, I don't think McGregor got sucker punched by that guy in the red who came in. I didn't feel like that guy totally landed. The guy who landed was right after that when they broke it up. This other guy broke free and came like running across. And I think he like really nailed McGregor.

Because if you look at it, they're kind of helping McGregor out of the ring, out of the octagon after. I think that guy almost cold cocked him. That guy might have. Yeah, you're right. The guy in the red. I mean, he didn't even move forward, I don't think. He kind of missed. Yeah, he was.

I don't know what happened. He was kind of thrown from behind him, and it looked like he almost hit him with his arm over his fist. And I didn't think McGregor was stunned by that, but that other guy really clocked him. Right. Well, it looks like the guy in the red is going to need to tell that to a judge or something.

Like, yeah, I didn't even hit him. Can we be lenient on the sentencing here? I had some friends that were there, including the Ringer's own Kevin Clark. Among others. And they said there was real fear in there. The 10-15 minutes

that there was real riot potential. Because you don't know if you're in an actual riot, you don't know it until chairs are sailing over your head. And you don't know it. like chairs are sailing over your head. And I think there was, you don't know it. You, you could, you have to leave the casino.

Like, you know, there's a lot goes on in the lobby and everything. I saw three fights in the, in the lobby, just, uh, just on,

on a YouTube or something. Yeah. Well, the good thing is you had, um, you know, you had the Irish against the Russians and those are two demographics that usually don't get over-served or thrown down. Right, yeah.

Nothing bad can happen. They just talk it out. Nothing bad can happen with those two demos. I'm 25% Irish. I can at least make fun of one of them. There you go. I'm 80% Russian, so there you go. I think people actually felt like it was safer

to stay in the arena than go back in the casino until things set down is that what Kevin did? that probably would have been smart just stay in the arena, sleep over if you have to it's 3 in the morning, let's just stay can we go Eddie? no, we can't go, we can't leave yet

so yeah, it seemed people are like oh man you sorry are you mad because I almost went to that fight are you mad you didn't go I would not have I don't

I'm too old to have been in a riot right 10 years ago I would have been into it in my late 40s no thanks I'm gonna pass

yeah I don't think you'd be able to get the words yeah I'm 25% Irish out of your mouth before the chair the picture crossed the eyes. Why didn't we have money on Khabib?

I did have him. I bet I had a big parlay with that it wouldn't go. It was sort of getting me angry that a lot of it was taking place on the mat and that he was just trying to score points. A couple guys, Brother Bri, had Khabib by submission. I think it was a lot of dumb white guy money coming in on McGregor

the line should have been probably minus 250 for Khabib right? not to mention the ring rest all the people I know who actually know MMA are like Khabib is one of the all time assassins we've ever had the guy is a fucking machine so good thing to remember He's probably going to jail

for something, whether it was this or something else. UFC, though, congratulations. You guys are back. All it took was a full-scale riot. It's going to be great for them. What do you got for Parent Corner? It's not a great story. I'm actually not proud

of myself. You've been to 100 of these. My kid, my oldest son, 13-year-old. Actually, my 13-year-old is, I think, having sex with our Guatemalan maid. I'll save that for a couple weeks. My 13-year-old. That's not the story. Hold on. Neffy Kyle needs some air. Also, Neffy Kyle would like to throw his hat in the ring with the Guatemalan maid if your son...

What happened? He was in? No, he's just... You got his attention in a bunch of ways. Okay, good. I'm going to wake him up. It's late at night. It's like 11 o'clock. No, so he's on this club team.

It's called basketball team. Yeah. Do you have this whole thing where you guys host an event? Yeah. Like we're hosting this event. His club team is hosting an event and hosting the event means we have to drive to Anaheim. That's where they were able to secure an arena in Anaheim for this club basketball, because within 20 miles, we can't find three other teams that want to play this game.

Like, I don't really, it's like me hosting a party at your house 45 minutes away. But anyway, we're going to Hanheim and I'm told ahead of time that, um, parking is $20. And for me to get in is $10. But because my son has a Jersey, he can get in and he's playing so he can get in for free. And it's got me thinking like, well, maybe I wait in the car a couple of blocks away. But no, I'm going to watch. So we drive there. And it's right in the middle of Texas, Oklahoma. Great college game. I have fake money on it.

Unlock it in. These other guys bet it too. And I'm checking the scores. And I'm on the five south going 80 miles an hour. And sure enough, I look up. I check. Oklahoma kicked a field goal to go ahead. Texas kicked a field goal to go ahead. I was like, Oh, look at that. I'm looking on my phone and I look up and

we are three feet from the car in front of us at 75, 80 miles an hour. And I just do a quick, like into the left lane, like, well, if someone's in the left lane, we're, I'm sorry, but we're both screwed. And I got through it. And, uh, I'm never looking at the phone and driving again. And my son yelled out, dad, what the F are you doing? And that's the only time I'll let him use the F word in front of me. But, uh, uh, there's a lesson to be, what's the lesson, Bill? I don't know. I just can't text and drive or read and drive. Yeah. Yeah.

I felt like shit. Don't look at the phone when your kids are in the car. I think if it's just you, you can send emails. No, I'm kidding. I can do it? No. It sounds like Days of Thunder. Not a great story, but I felt bad.

What's that? It sounds like Days of Thunder. Cruise driving through the smoke. He didn't know if he was going to come out of it. Well, yeah. That's what I said. You have to admit it. It was terrible driving come out of it. Well, yeah, that's what I said. He took the left. I'm like, Arch, you have to admit it. It was terrible driving followed by spectacular driving.

I mean, I was just parallel with the car next to me to get over. But I'm not proud. Wow. Don't text or look at scores and drive. Parent cornered. He was arrested. My story is also a car trip. My daughter had a soccer game yesterday in Corona, California. My story is also a car trip.

My daughter had a soccer game yesterday in Corona, California. Any idea where that is? Corona? I'm guessing it's by San Diego, right? Yeah. No. No, it's not. It would have been nice if it was by San Diego.

It's not south? It was south. It was south. It was Mexico? Where is it? I don't Diego. It's not South? It was South. It was Mexico? Where is it? It was a good hour and a half. It was past. You eventually hit the I-15. You drive by Norco, where a lot of the tournaments are out here.

Then you just kind of keep going. It was probably a good hour and a half. The game was at, I'm going to say like 11 o'clock. So this is basically my day off, so to speak, but I know I had the Red Sox on that, you know, like coming up later. Yeah, you just like to kick back and relax. And this is an hour and a half trip and probably two hours back because of the traffic.

And, you know, at this point, this is my whole day. By the time we get home, it's going to be three. So it would have been nice if my daughter played well in the game. She has her worst game of the season. Oh, no. It was more like, you know, she plays at the top, and it's like, you just got to run. Like, just try hard all the time when you're out there.

Just bust your ass. And she was conditionally busting her ass, but she wasn't in the right places a couple of times. And I was just mad because I felt like she had this. I felt like she was playing well, and then this was just, I don't want to say a mail-in, but I wasn't happy with it. And we had talked on the way there. We were like, wow, after the game, we'll go to In-N-Out Burger.

Or, you know, if you do well, we'll go here. And we're just talking about all the lunch options. If you do poorly, we'll go to Shakey's. Right. So we win the game 1-0 against a team that was in last place in our league. And we barely win the game. And if she had been in the right spot, I feel like she could have had a couple goals. And I was just like, and now it's like, I don't know, almost 1 o'clock by the time we get home, it's 3.

Like my whole day is shot. And we get in the car and she knows I'm going to be mad. And we're just driving in silence. And she's like, are we going to eat? And I was like, you can eat the gum that's in the middle of the console. You can have gum. I'm not stopping. I'm going home.

I bet this ride's been long enough. And then we just drove in silence for the next hour and a half. We didn't have lunch. But there's a kicker. You didn't feed her? No. I was like, screw this. I'm just driving home.

That's why she can't score. You're not feeding her. You need to feed these kids, you know? I was like, there's gum. That's lunch. So anyway, I was just so mad. We are terrible fathers, my God. No, listen.

It was my whole Saturday. I was like, could you at least try the whole game? So in her mind, she needs to score a goal? No, no, no. Just run. She's got to run. Just run. She's 13.

Run. She knows what to do. That was what annoyed me. And I never get mad about stuff anymore. But what made me mad was this was my whole Saturday. And it was like, if I was going to do this whole giant round trip, could you have told me ahead of time that you weren't going to run your ass off in the game?

Well, what would you have done? You still would have had to go. No, I would have just skipped it. I would have sent her an Uber. So anyway. I find it's easier and more palatable if you check scores as you're driving. No, there's a moral to this story because I'm not proud of how I reacted. I should have just said, yeah, it happens.

You had a bad game. Let's go to In-N-Out. On the way home, I pass over to go into the little carpool lane with the whatever, where you have like, you know, I have the little gadget where it's like the little toll. Right. I crossed over to a white double line, which I thought you could do. I thought you couldn't only cross over the yellow line. Got pulled over.

380 bucks. Yeah. Got pulled over by a cop, got a ticket. Nice. So if you thought it was icy in the car before this. Oh no. Now there's a ticket. Now it's just dead, dead silence.

And the only thing that was making me happy was I was going to call you and say, my day has sucked today. I know the Yankees are going to beat the Red Sox. I'm going to buy the win. I'm going to bet the Yankees. So that's all I thought about the last 20 minutes of the ride. Just calling you and be like, listen, don't ask. I've had a shitty day. I'm going to take the Yankees. But I didn't do that. I didn't do that. I didn't buy the win.

So then I stayed home, watched the Yankees beat the Red Sox, then decided to make up for bad dad behavior. Whole family goes to a Star is Born, and I skipped the UFC 229 and missed the greatest UFC thing ever. That was my Saturday, Sal. Happy day off. Happy day off to the dads out there. I don't know what the moral is there. I really don't, because you try to do the right thing.

It was just a bad day. How much was she laughing when you got pulled over? She wasn't laughing. She was looking for more gum. Officer, can you please, do you have a biscuit or a crack or anything? So anyway, I didn't go today, but she came

home. She's's like I really I really was running around you would have been proud of me I'm like alright great good dear good dear we let her eat today

that's good that's smart you didn't get nailed to the seatbelt huh no no he didn't he didn't notice that one

you're right I didn't have the seatbelt on I probably could have gotten nailed for that too good for you I did I did I seatbelt on. I probably could have gotten nailed for that too. Good for you. I did apologize later, but I did give the speech like, look, we, and I'm sure you've given the same speech to your kids. Look, we make a big commitment.

You're playing these sports. We drive you around. We're basically your chauffeur. The only thing we're asking from you is that you're all in when you're out there. That's it. Yeah. I don't think in when you're out there. That's it. I don't think that's asking for a lot. It's fair. I would have liked that. I would have liked that from my parents.

I think that's good. I go to all your games. I go to as many as I can. I am a super supportive parent. I never say anything. Just respect that we put in the time. I think that's fair. That's good. Thank you. Now you and your dad are arguing about price and whether he should start.

Yeah. My dad threw me under the bus on Twitter today. It comes, the gold comes around. It's ridiculous. All right. What do you got to plug? Uh,

I'll lock it in Monday after, after special time on FS one, after the Dodgers Braves game, about four 45 Pacific seven 45 Eastern. I'm guessing. It's going to be a half-hour show. Should be a good spot for us. And against all odds, this Wednesday, you know,

every week we find an obscure prop and we bet it, and we've won three in a row. This week it was over a half a game. We'll go to overtime this week. And two actually went. So look for that this Wednesday. And look for your relationship with A-Rod and Big Papi to deepen a little bit, maybe. Yeah.

Well, I don't know if we can get much deeper than it already is, but I'll try. And against all odds, I'm not on this week, but I'm going to be on... When am I going to be on? Is it this week or next week? Yeah, we'll run that Monday night. Next Monday night, right? Monday night? Season starts Tuesday. Do we want to give people enough time

to bet the futures? Because we're actually pretty good at this. Yeah, okay. Whenever you want to run it. Maybe we'll run it like, I don't know. We'll figure it out. That's coming up in the next seven days or so. All right, cuz. Good job by you. Good job by you, Billy.

All right, guys. Thanks. See you. Good job by you, Billy. All right, guys. Thanks. See you, buddy. Thanks to the cuz. Thanks to ZipRecruiter. Don't forget to go to ziprecruiter.com slash BS. Thanks to SimpliSafe. They go beyond what home security should be.

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All free. Oh, yeah. Talk to you later in the week. I don't have.