The Bill Simmons Podcast - The Increasingly Scary 49ers, Brady’s Future, Hilarious Challenges, and Historic Fantasy Defenses With Cousin Sal | The Bill Simmons Podcast

Episode Date: October 28, 2019

HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss the Colts sneaking out another win, this time against the Broncos; plus Bills-Eagles, Patriots-Browns, the return of Drew Brees, the undefeated 49ers, a pitiful Chargers-Bears matchup, playoff implications, challenges, and more (2:15). Then they guess the NFL lines for Week 9 (36:44). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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with Ryan Rosillo. You can hear him talk about it tomorrow on the Ryan Rosillo podcast with Chris Long. And you can listen to the Ringer NFL show as well if you did not hear enough football talk this week. Coming up, the C Cuz talking about week eight and what's going to happen in week nine. And guess what?

We made some more bad bets. Yeah, I know. In other words, it was another Sunday. That's all coming up first. Our friends from Pearl Jam. All right, fresh from a dramatic takeover of Brooklyn. How many jobs did you do from Brooklyn? Five? Four? I did a lot.

I picked up a sanitation job along the way. Yeah, I was running around a lot. What was the highlight from Brooklyn? I can't even think. Let me think about it. The highlight was Brad wasn't invited this year. And so we could all be a little calm. Eddie Murphy?

Eddie Murphy was great. Did you see him? Yeah, he was great. He he was good he got me excited about uh hosting snl he told some stories being from brooklyn i think in front of the big crowd he was uh you know he was he's looser and uh did like an interview we hadn't seen in a few years right he said he was going to bring back some of his famous uh snl characters when he hosts snl i hope so i hope he does gumby and Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood and all those characters. That'll be fun, right?

It would be funny if he brought back the ones that didn't work, which is all like the one sketch failures. Right, right, right. Yeah, it seemed like a fun week though. I also like when Jimmy posts the Instagram photos of everybody just chowing down on free food that he got. I don't think I've ever felt worse, honestly. I was on the pizza slice diet, and then we got Chinese food because you have to go to

Chinatown just over the bridge, and I feel like absolute crap, plus 10 pounds. I don't know. I need to cleanse. I need to do a cleanse. You know all about these cleanses, right? What should I do? I think we should go do colonics. What do you think?

I actually need one after betting on the Panthers today, and they gave up 51 points. So that was almost like having a colonic. I actually want to get a real one. I feel responsible. I might pick up half that bet for you, because I feel like I scared you into an underdog or two there today. No, I wanted to bet the Panthers.

You did? I mean, I saw all those mid-range underdogs or favorites, like four to eight points, Seattle, San Francisco. Who else? Well, there were so many, and they all won but didn't cover except for the Panthers, right? Houston, the Packers. There was a bunch of teams in that

range. The bet we did on Million Dollar Picks, we did Detroit teased with the Colts. No business winning it. It's just an absolutely absurd victory that I would take no credit for. The Detroit side was fine.

You should have won that three times over. Yeah, that's fine. But the Colts, it was an embarrassing win. I've never been more happy and embarrassed to take a win. Well, I didn't want to say anything. I was on the opposite side. I took Denver money line. I have to be done taking that team.

They were leading or tied for 85-90% of the game and then just blew it down the stretch. I don't know. How many times do you see a third and five play? it down the stretch like i don't know like how many times you see a third and five play you have the colts right you're betting the colts third and five right around two minutes colts are gonna have no timeouts you want them to run right up the middle right you don't want if flacco dropped back to pass as bad as flacco is you'd be like uh-oh this kind of sucks for me right now. Right. Yeah. And he complained after the game.

He's like, I wish we were a little more aggressive. And I guarantee their answer was, I wish our quarterback wasn't Joe Flacco. We would be more aggressive. You know? Yeah. I mean, in their defense, like 20 minutes earlier, they're working at his neck on the sidelines. Right.

Exactly. 20 for 32. A buck 74 is not going to get it done anymore. I don't think. It was an amazing Colts cover and yet another testament to the Ewing Theory season that they are enjoying where they had to have at least 11 or 12 penalties. And penalties that just weren't the typical penalties, like they were, we have a drive going, uh-oh, there's a holding, now it's first and 20. We've now stopped them on third down.

Nope. Actually, there's a penalty. The drive has been extended. We've stopped them. Now it's fourth down. Nope. We're going to actually commit a penalty during the field goal try. Now take the ball back. You get four more cracks at it. It was just all stuff like that the whole game. And it just seemed like one of those games where it was actually, you're watching it going, wow, I know this game isn't fixed, but if there was a game that was fixed, this would feel like the game. Yeah. And then it all leads to Jacoby coming out of his own end zone. That was great.

Seeming like he was going to step on the line that one time for a safety. That would have been terrible. But then the other time, finding T.Y., and then they had the drive extended. Horse collar play. Yeah, the horse collar play. There was another play in the fourth quarter where they had a drive extended by a pass interference overturn. Which, have you seen a successful pass interference overturn?

I've heard that it has taken place, but I've not yet seen one. Well, it happened in that Colts game. And then they finally get into striking range of Vinatieri. It would have been like a 50-yarder, 51-yarder. But it was first down. And they had like a minute and a half left. Right. And they just botch it and end up basically just staying in the same spot

and wasting all the time. And it seemed like a classic, oh my God, this is the perfect way for the game that's not fixed, but feels like it was fixed to end where he misses the 51 yard or after he already missed the PAT. But no, they win. And now they're five and two in the AFC South. This was one of our big picks. I think I was more into it than you were.

Yeah, you liked it more. Colts 7.5, but then also Colts 4-1 and win the AFC South. Now they have a game lead over Houston. Houston pulled one out today, but Houston also lost J.J. Watt. I actually think we might have trouble getting a 6-AFC playoff team. Oh, really? Yeah, I don't love that division. I think they all won today, right?

Tennessee, Jacksonville, Houston, division i think they all won today right tennessee jacksonville houston uh and the colts all won and i still think it's as as mediocre as ever i don't know none of those teams really interest me maybe jacksonville but you're all over the colts but one more thing though i will say without with running out the clock in denver and they had the game in hand but i think the psychology has to change there are so many more penalties these days than there were 10 years ago than there were 20 or 25 years ago and those penalties come in like defensive holding or pass interference send flacco back to pass on third down because if you're giving up the ball that same applies when the colts have it right there's more defensive

penalties you know pass interference all that holding everything that you just talked about that extended the drive i think you have to be more aggressive and uh this day i don't know i i fangio it's interesting because i pointed out earlier like john hellway's a comeback kid he wins all the close games and vick fangio seems direct opposite of that he's the he's the die suddenly kid. Yeah, right. He's a go away kid. Go away kid. Can you guess how many above 500 AFC teams there are right now? Is it five? Six.

Is it six? Okay. New England's 8-0. Indy's 5-2. Baltimore's 5-2. Buffalo is 5-2. And it is a soft 5-2. Right. KC, 5-3.

Houston, 5-3. And then we have Jacksonville and Tennessee at 4-4 and Oakland at 3-4. And then, amazingly, the Chargers at 3-5, dying to be crossed off, And I just can't cross them off yet. Can you? I guess not yet because that division is so, and that's what I told my chief fan friends that, Hey, don't worry. You're in the worst of it.

Like the Raiders aren't nine and seven is going to take it like last year, 12 and four plus a tiebreaker took it, but nine and seven takes it. And I think you need to start worrying about this because a healthy Mahomes at nine and seven, they win the four or five matchup and then that's your first game. You're such a jerk. Now I have to think about this.

I'm sorry. That's a reality right now. Not going to get a three seed at nine and seven. Well, wait a second. Oh yeah. So they win the division, but they're the four seed. Right. But then they would play the top wild card.

I'm not against that. No, no. Unfortunately, we don't have a top wild card if we did it would be exciting there might not be any wild cards this year no I'm just saying that could be your first game well if you had to pick alright so let's say we're halfway through here I think New England, the Colts, the Ravens the Chiefs

are all playoff teams so now I'm giving you Bills England, the Colts, the Ravens, the Chiefs are all playoff teams. So now I'm giving you Bills, Texans, Jaguars, Titans, Raiders, Chargers. We have to find two playoff teams out of that group. The Bills still might make it. Who might still make it? The Buffalo Bills. I think they will because their schedule will be lame down the stretch. So what will they need?

Nine wins? They'll need four more wins probably. Well, my question is could 8-8 make the playoffs this year? I actually think it could. Bills home versus Washington at Miami. Ooh, that's versus the Jets. Those are three wins probably. Yeah, but Washington could absolutely beat them.

Their defense could give Buffalo a lot of problems. Buffalo, that game was sitting there for them. 7-3. Didn't seem like the Eagles were going to be able to do anything. And then Allen fumbled on his own 20. The Eagles got some momentum and all of a sudden they were off. And Buffalo certainly is not a team that can play from behind. Doug Peterson scored to go up nine,

seven, and then went for the two point to make it 11, seven. I think he made a bet with somebody before the game. It's like, what's the weirdest score we could have in this game. The guy's like, I don't know,

11, seven. Doug Peterson's like, done. I'm going to make this happen. I didn't get that, but he ran the ball. And then when they went back to like Eagles football,

I think they had like 218 yards rushing between Howard and Sanders and a couple others. But honestly, if you step back before the game, did anyone really think the Bills were better than the Eagles? In a balls-out game like this for the Eagles? I didn't think so. Well, I'm ashamed to admit that I actually picked the Bills minus two. Did you?

And put $200K in them and million-dollar picks for this reason. It's a lot of money. I thought their defense would just be able to... Bad weather. Once I saw the weather was bad, I was like, this is great. 30-degree weather. This is just going to be like an ugly defensive running game. This is great.

I don't think the Eagles can win a game like this. And they actually did. Yeah. We got beat by the weather last week with the 49ers. We didn't know. It took them forever to get going. So now we're looking intently at the weather report. But the Bills are going to score 20 points or fewer, 14 out of 16 games.

Right? Isn't that the starting point? Their offense is bad. When you just say, hey, let's get 21. Let's just do it. Well, I look at Singletary for them the same way I was looking at David Montgomery all those weeks for Chicago, where it's like, just play this guy. What are you guys doing? Yeah. And then he was actually really good today when they finally unleashed him. And I do think Singletary, I would like to see him get the ball more and at least, you know, try to do something, Let's talk about, just quickly,

Denver, I think you've lost on them five times in eight weeks by my calculations. Is that right? No, it's got to be more than that. I'll say five. All the money that I've won on the Colts this season, you've lost the opposite on Denver. You should have lost on the Colts today.

I should have. I freely admit it. Can you finally quit the Broncos? Can you write them a breakup letter right now? I guess. Do they have a week of bye for God's sakes? Do they have it already? What do they have? No, they're two and six.

I could be done with them, but they play another miserable team, the Browns, this week. So I might give it one more week. Dear Denver, it's not you, it's me. No, actually, it is you. I hate you. I'm done it is you. I hate you. I'm done betting on you. Love, Sal.

Oh, there's no love. No love, no love lost. I have a beef. I'm going to get beefy right now. I feel like we've hit some tipping point with challenges in all sports, not just football. We were watching... I saw your thing with the basketball challenge, yeah. Yeah, and guess

what? That challenge was actually... It was basically the right call, but Portland... Dallas gets an offensive rebound. The guy gets stripped by Lord. They call a foul. There's eight seconds left. Portland challenges it. Game stops. It's a pretty exciting game. There's already enough stoppages in crunch time in basketball it Game stops It's a pretty exciting game

There's already enough stoppages in crunch time and basketball Game stops They review it They decide yeah actually he didn't foul him Let's have a jump ball at midcourt Jump ball at midcourt Portland wins it Portland ends up winning the game

It's like is this where we want to be with competition? Like, should we have referees anymore? Watch the football today. Everything's being challenged. Freddy Kitchens seems to think like his pass interference challenges are like vouchers at a Friendly's where he's like, hey, I have a voucher for a $5 milkshake. He doesn't seem to realize they cost timeouts. But these challenges,

I just feel like we're watching now challenges instead of action. And it's like- Well, I'll say this, and I'll use your point to make mine. Basketball, maybe there's no place for it. I didn't catch the one today and I didn't have to sit through it. So I don't know.

But football, poor decisions and challenges, but more poor decisions by out-of-shape coaches has been endlessly entertaining for many, many years, right? Whether it's Andy Reid or Freddie Kitchens, who I like to call Hugh Partout. I love it. I love it. I mean, who the hell did he think he was challenging that pass interference on a pick play against the Patriots in Belichick's backyard. It just wasn't going to happen. And I just love it.

I love them showing his face afterwards. So you think the comedy trumps just the continuous game action and the thrill of watching multiple plays in a row? I do because the action is on my side of the TV where I'm screaming and laughter at these guys or pissed off, depending on where my money is. You know what I mean? We watched Brown's Pats today, me,

Russillo, and Kyle. That pick play happens. They call pass interference and Russillo goes, Freddie's going to challenge this. Kyle and I started laughing and he's like, no, I'm serious. I bet he challenges this. They show the replay and it's an, no, I'm serious. I bet he challenges this. They show the replay.

It's an obvious pick play. And then the play is about to start. And there it was, the red flag in the field. And we started dying. We thought it was like the funniest thing. That was the worst challenge of all time. Yeah. And I think he went against Romo too. He was like kind of right about everything.

He was like, well, they're not going to challenge this. So it'll be second down. Oh no, he is challenging it. He's the best. Nance, who's like, you know, part of his shtick is he's the nicest guy of all time. He could barely contain himself with Freddie today.

He's like, well, I don't know about that, Tony. Which, for Jim Nance to say that is basically like him saying, I think this guy should be drawn and quartered. By the way, it wasn't only that. It was the rule itself. And maybe this is the tipping point right there.

Nance was downright angry. He's like, well, we know it's stupid. We know it's stupid to challenge almost any pass interference play right now. We know this is how it is. I don't know why everyone's doing it. It's very strange. Like he was annoyed with everything. Well, last year, Crown Royale launched

the first off the field water break to encourage fans of the game to moderate and hydrate to stay in the game. Whether you're watching the stadium, watching home or a bar, have a great time, enjoy some crown. Don't be that person that ruins it for everyone. Make the right call, take a water break.

So who made the right call this week? Not Freddie Kitchens. Boy, is he bad. Yeah. I mean, that Browns team, they had three turnovers, including it seemed like a design play for Mayfield just to throw the ball to a Patriots defensive lineman. I think that was what the play was called. That was great. And what a clown show.

Three in a row. Freddie lost two challenges. He had, what do you think, 70 dumb looks on his face during the game? Oh, yeah. At various points. They had like a 10-man on the field. Tom Curran tweeted a great picture of the two sidelines, the Patriots and then the Browns sideline, which I thought was hilarious.

They have the rule that players can only be so close to the yellow line. There's litter everywhere, beer bottles. It looked like Skid Row on the brown side. And on the Pat side, it's just perfectly organized. Everybody, it's almost like they were organized by a party planner. It was like a German

militia. It really was. So, well, I'm not insulted by that. But, man man that team's the best i have no idea if that team's good like if they had a good coach would that team actually be good i don't know because i'll tell you when baker runs the rpo it's pretty scary yeah with chubb who you know rusell and i were arguing we did a state farm thing after the game about the five best running backs.

And I was like, I think the Chubbs, one of the five scariest running backs when he gets the ball, I just assume he's going to run for 80 yards every time. He's terrifying. I think you're right, but it's hard for them to be anything but down 10 points in the second quarter with all these penalties.

And that's what I looked at. I was like, all right, maybe they don't cover 12, which they ended up covering the Patriots, but it sure as hell, weren't going to go into, I don't know why that, that line was going down. It went from like 12 to 10 and a half and bounced around. It's like, well, who's betting? Why? Cause the Patriots on a short week, it didn't make any sense to me.

Belichick is going to notch his 300th win against his old team. This is the most undisciplined team in the league. They lead in penalties. And they don't protect Baker. What more do you have to see from them? And then three turnovers in a row, and they really were just never in it after that. I think the weather freaked people out too. Freddie had another not-so-great call. They're down 17.

There's two and a half minutes left. Whatever. The only people watching are wondering if the Browns are going to cover or not fourth and six they're on like the 27 Freddie sends in the field goal team yeah right because you know it's totally realistic

you take the field goal here and then you get the two onside kicks and the two touchdowns and you're back in it over like yeah the fourth and six because there's no way in this scenario that there's going to be another fourth and six or another hard pass play to convert. Fred is like,

bring them out. Let's bring out our field goal kicker in bad weather. He made it, but man, that guy's a mess. Crown Royal reminds everyone in this football season to take a water break and moderate to stay in the game. I wish,

I wish. Hold on. I got one too. Oh, you have one. Go ahead. Uh, ever would take a lot of credit. Hold on, I got one too. Oh, you have one. Go ahead. You ever hear of a guy named Drew Brees? Yeah.

Scared for his life. Scared for his career. He did not want Teddy Bridgewater to have win number six, especially going into the bye. He doesn't want to hear two weeks of, oh, Teddy Bridgewater, two gloves is better than Brees. Who knows if Brees should come back? We all saw it.

We all remember with Dak Prescott and Tony Romo. And Romo wasn't 40 years old at the time. So Breeze is like, ready or not, here I come. 373, three touchdowns and interception. Blow out the Cardinals, 31-9. Defense did its job again. So probably wouldn't be close if Bridgewater played either. But now there's no doubt.

Drew Brees is a quarterback. Good call by you. Sal, I knew I liked you. That's a great point. I'm jealous of it. He looked at the schedule. He said, who are we playing? Arizona.

Hey, I'm good to go. You're right. He didn't want to deal with a six game tight Bridgewater winning streak. I didn't understand why he came back, but now you just crystallize it for us. There you go. Anyway, thanks to crown Royal. Uh,

any other things that jumped out at you? Oh, I forgot to throw this at you. Um, the Patriots fantasy D. Mm. Hmm. I looked this up over the course of this century.

How many defenses do you think had 200 fantasy points? This century of this century, how many defenses do you think had 200 fantasy points? This century? This century, 21st century. How many defenses got to 200 fantasy points? They have 200 right now? No, they have 174 right now. All right, zero. I'm going to say zero.

Nobody's even gotten over 190. They have 174 right now with half the season to go. This is the most dominant performance. I could remember by any fantasy, anything since what? Uh, the Danny and Tomlinson. I don't even know.

Yeah. I mean, what they show that one sat, I guess Cleveland screwed it up by scoring, uh, later, but four touchdowns scored, three touchdowns allowed. And this is not through week two.

We're halfway through the season already. Well, Hench and I, we watch Patriots games, and the tradition is Brady looks terrible the first quarter and a half. Hench gets upset, starts texting me about, uh-oh, Gramps is looking bad, all that stuff. Yeah, I know. I know. It's terrible. And then we were saying, like, actually looking bad, all that stuff. Oh. Yeah, I know. I know, it's terrible.

And then we were saying, like, actually, this is smart by Brady. He's trying to get off the field so the defense can score. We're making those jokes. And then Brady, it takes him an hour, but he warms up, starts throwing BBs. He's fine. But I've never seen anything like this, Patsy.

This is- It's pretty phenomenal. And they all seem to have a vendetta, like, oh, he was,ins was cut by the browns so yeah he's gonna we're gonna focus on him everyone i don't know how everyone had seems to have been cut by whoever they're playing jets or whatever and they they uh dominate incredible i was actually surprised that nobody had gotten to 200 points well yeah i can't remember i don't know I can't remember. I don't know. I can't remember. Who would it be in the last 19 years?

It made sense as I was going through it because I was looking at each of the teams. It's funny. There were a couple of chief seasons where they must have gotten some special team stuff. Right. There was a Bears season. Devin Hester. Yeah. People are always in the 150 to 180 range, but they might have a chance to finish with, I don't know,

230, 240, 250. The schedule is going to get harder. It gets a little harder, but they show up every week. They really didn't let down. That's the one thing you may have made a case for that, all right, eventually has to let down and why not on a short week after murdering the Jets. But then you think, well well they played half the game monday night what does it matter what was your take on all the tom brady stuff this week about him i don't know it could be his last year or whatever yeah i felt like it was until it's proven otherwise i just felt like a non-story to me but i think it was a boring week and it people start dusting off their uh ah what would get a full cycle of

stories you know dustbin and it's like tom brady sold his house yeah it's gonna be here next year it's like it he was selling his house two months ago does it bum you out that he doesn't address it though like uh like jerry jones i root for the cowboysboys. Jerry Jones addresses it all the time. As soon as there's any speculation that Jason Garrett's going to be fired or someone's not going to get paid, he's right on it. The spit on your lip isn't dry, and he's addressing it in some kind of press conference. He's like, all right, Jerry, just shut up.

Would you like to see a little bit of that just to ease everyone's nerves? First of all, I support my six-time Super Bowl champ, Tom Brady. It's a leverage thing. He's not going to be... So if he says, look, I'm either retiring in New England or I'm retiring. Now he's just cut his whatever in half.

I always think it's a leverage thing too, but Jerry Jones answers every single question. He still has a billion dollars. But I guess it's different for the player. All of this started because of the stupid Paul Rudd show in the green screen or whatever the fuck happened. Annoying. Who do you think loses

first, the Patriots or the Niners? Russel and I did this bit and the Pats have a much harder schedule next five games. It's actually realistic the Niners could be the last undefeated team. They do play the Niners at, I mean,

the Seahawks at home in two weeks. Right. You're saying this, when this is a win over these Thursday games are so rotten. You just don't know. Like, couldn't they not show up against Arizona or that's, that's bulletproof.

I don't know what to me. I got to say, I don't know what to make of them anymore. I thought the Panthers were going to catch them today. And if you watch that one game, that was about as impressive of a game as anyone's played this whole season. Everyone says they're just faster than all other teams. They seemed way faster. They seemed so fast on both sides of the ball. That was the first time I really started to take the Garoppolo Brady Super Bowl seriously.

I thought Carolina was going to win that game. It was 14-3 in five seconds. Bosa was all over the place. I mean, he might be the best defensive, not just rookie in the league, but he might be the most destructive defensive player in the league right now. They could not

keep him off the quarterback today. And he had a pick too. I thought he had pneumonia from sliding in the rain last week to celebrate, but he came back stronger than ever. I think the Redskins' rain game last week threw people off the scent, including myself, because that was such an ugly game. Grappo couldn't even hold the ball. It threw me off too.

But they trade for Emmanuel Sanders. Deebo Samuel is healthy again. So now all of a sudden they have two receivers who actually are a little dangerous and can get open. And then the Tevin Coleman thing, they're him and Brita. They're the, the two running backs are fucking fast.

Coleman's fast. And I just thought their speed was impressive. Like Cal, as Shanahan has, of course, Shanahan has crazy jet sweep plays that turn into counter plays. And, yeah, they had, like, 230 yards rushing. Coleman looks as fast as McCaffrey. Yeah, he does. What happens if that's the case?

And Jimmy G gets fourth billing on this team behind the Bozes and Coleman and just the defense. It's really weird how it's working out for them. He throws his two bad passes a game. But most QBs do that. But for the most part, I think the one thing that he's really underrated at, which is something that the young Brady was really good at, is his play action stuff, his misdirection.

Everything's just really polished, you know, and it's really hard to figure out what they're doing game play to play. That's a, that was something that Brady, who I think really didn't start to turn into Brady until 05, 06, just as like game to game, somebody who could potentially throw for 400 yards, that kind of stuff. Right. But he was always good at like the little stuff. And that was why in 01 when he took over from Bledsoe and then it was the big Brady or Bledsoe thing, I used to hate watching Bledsoe because you always knew

what the Patriots were going to do every play by how he – you were from in Dallas. Sure. It would take him seven seconds just to fake the play action. Yep. He was so slow just getting to the running back and then turning and he just wasn't crisp with that stuff. And I think Jimmy's crisp. Yep. So

but I'll say this for them to be undefeated at this point in the year eight seven and oh how many touchdowns would you think George Kittle would have to have at this point? Oh my God. I know that they're doing it. They're doing it a wacky way and it's working.

He's still, when you're watching the games, he's still present. You know what I mean? He's, he makes plays and he's bouncing off dudes and the whole thing. Yeah. It's a, Dan NFC is really crazy.

Cause they're undefeated. The Packers and saints both look a little bit Super Bowl worthy here through eight weeks. I think you could have a good argument which team you like more of those two. And then Minnesota is like quietly six and two. Yeah. And don't count out the Rams. The Rams are going to get their swagger back.

And I think my team is good, but not amongst those top four that you just named. Yeah, I think that's a one playoff team division, unfortunately, for you. Oh, yeah, for sure. I think that's how it plays out. I want to talk about that one more thing before we move on. Could we have bet, I wish we could have bet, that the Chargers-Bears game was going to end in a miskick.

You could have said miscarriage too because it was a miscarriage of football that entire game. Oh my God. What a wonderful game that was. The Bears fans booing the Bears off the field at halftime was glorious. They were just so angry. And then Trubisky, every time they must think they're out on him, he'll do a couple plays that just give you like, oh, maybe he's finally getting it, like the little light bulbs going off.

And then they screwed it up. Anyway, yeah, the Bears kicker yet again. It's unbelievable. All these kickers. I just don't get it. And the Chargers kicker missed too. It was just a matter of who had the ball last was going to attempt the last kick. But I still don't buy it. A lot of people are like, how are there not 32 great quarterbacks in this

country that can run an offense? But I could get it a little bit. I get it. The playbook is tough. It's vast. They're throwing all sorts of defenses at you. 32 kickers should not be hard to get. This is the third week in October. The weather was fine there. It wasn't pouring. It wasn't cold. I just don't get that we can't find 32 kickers. It's like if you said we have 32 pilots that could fly planes. If planes were going down left and right, it's hard to find a fly plane. Only 20 guys can do it. That seems way harder than kicking a ball through the uprights. It really does. And why can't we find 32 punters with long hair? Like the guy in the Browns. That's fun too.

Yeah. I really liked that guy. I think we can. He needs to go ponytail. One of these games. Yeah. Right. Really go to the next level.

I thought the bears chargers game going into it. You just knew it was going to be weird. It was even weirder than I ever imagined. And even after the Chargers were celebrating, I don't even know if you can celebrate that win. It's more you're escaping the scene of the crime. Yeah. Basically.

But man, we were on this before the season. We did not understand the Bears over under, remember? Right. And I was like, fuck that. The Bears are going to Bears over under. Remember? Right. And I was like, fuck that. The Bears are going to be good again. This is stupid. And as always, Vegas knew. Yep. They sniffed out something. I really genuinely, passionately dislike the coach's offense on the Bears. It's not fun. And all the fucking weird misdirection, stupid shit, and everything's going to the sides. Nothing's ever going forward. I just don't get it. It's not fun. And all the fucking weird misdirection, stupid shit, and everything's going to the sides.

Nothing's ever going forward. I just don't get it. It's not a real offense. It's a bunch of gimmick trick shit. Montgomery, like you said, had a good game. But yeah, half the time I'm watching a Bears game, I'm screaming that he should give away his Coach of the Year award from last year. It's like playing Madden with my son, when he just, he wants to

run trick plays cause they're more fun. I'm like, Ben, don't run a reverse. I'm going to, this is going to be minus eight. Don't do it again. And he's like, I watched it. It's like, Oh, flea flicker. I'm I call the blitz. You do the flea flicker. I'm going to sack you in the flea flicker. Ah, watch this. I'm going to outsmart you. So you're not outsmarting anyone. Just go forward. That's why I like Josh Jacobs. Just runs forward. He gets five yards. Yeah.

He's solid. Can I give you the, the AFC North? Nine and 19. Wow. Five and 15 outside their division. Not to be outdone. The NFC East is 11 and 20,

six and 15 outside their division. You don't have to talk about that. Meanwhile, the NFC West is now 21-9-1. 18-6-1 outside their division. Wow. This is turning into a real weirdo season. Yeah. I don't get it.

That was one great stat. The other one is they ran a stat during the Pats game. Tom Brady, seven different 10-plus game win streaks in his career. Seven different times he's won at least 10 games in a row. That's insane. Come on, Sal. I don't like that one either. I don't like that.

Give me another one. I don't like that stat. All right. Well, here's another one. This isn't like that stat. All right. Well, here's another one. This isn't really a stat, but it was announced. We actually signed a sponsor for you. Who? Well, Denver is officially your 2019 fuck job team.

Nice. And we've gotten Bob's butt plugs as your sponsor for Denver the rest of the year. I've been trying to negotiate with them for years. They finally relented. Right now, you can get $10 off your first order from Bob's Butt Plugs if you bet on Denver next week. So congrats. Congrats, Sal.

It's great. Make sure you're having a good time. Your son introduced you to them, but be honest. Bob's Butt Plugs. You might have found it online. Let's take one more break, then we'll do Guest Align. Let's take a break, talk about Square. They make that little white reader that lets anyone take credit cards.

They sent Kyle one. Yeah. You have a Square. What are you going to do? Are you going to bring it to the darkroom? I'll bring it wherever. I just got to get my 1099 filled out out and then I'm going to hit the road. There you go.

Running and growing a business takes so much more than payments, which is why Square built so many more tools that can help, like point of sale software for restaurants, retail businesses, and salons. Easy to build websites to help you sell online. Access to business loans to help you manage your cashflow, purchasing equipment, or whatever it is you need to grow your business. Their payments are still the best in the business. No complicated contracts or weird fees.

You always get your money fast, even instantly. So whether you're an online retailer, a restaurant owner, a hairstylist, a skydiving teacher, whatever, Square has tools that can help you no matter what size or stage of business you're at. Kyle, maybe people can just, you do tracks. It could be like a, they just pay you for your hip hop tracks. Yeah, I might give it to my barber. There are some people that have like nonprofits

that maybe I'll send to like a cool one. I don't know. This is great. It's cool though. I'm going to hold onto it for a minute. See all the ways Square can take your business from Square One to whatever's next at square.com slash go slash BS.

Loans subject to credit approval and issued by Celtic Bank member FDIC. All right, this is a pretty brutal slate except for the Sunday night game. This is about as uninspiring. If there was ever a week to go to your kids' games, hit the pumpkin patch with Chris Ryan, go buy some syrup in the woods,

whatever you want to do instead of watching football, I'd recommend this weekend. Thursday night, 49ers are at the cards. You know, you're not wrong that this is the sneaky, oh, we get through this, and then we start focusing on Seattle looking ahead game.

But I still think the 49ers are favored by six. What do you have? I said seven. It's actually seven and a half. Vegas isn't screwing around with the Niners team. They've lost too much money on them. They made it high. But yeah, I do caution you. Like, I think I ran a stat the other day.

Like the winner of this Thursday night game scores an average of 20 points. So when you're given seven or you're laying 16, like the Vikings were the other day, you might want to think of the underdog, even if it doesn't make sense. Can we put this in the teaser basket? Yes. I think that's what I'm saying. Yes. What do you think I pick for the Sunday marquee game? Well, if Mahomes plays, it should be Minnesota at Kansas City. That's what I had. Okay. So how do we get something that he's definitely ready for week 10, but don't you think he's going to play? Yeah. So what's the ruling on guessing the line for this?

Well, there's no line. So I would have said Vikings by three if he doesn't play. And I would say Chiefs by four if he does play. That's exactly what I said. I had Chiefs by four if he doesn't play. And if he does play. And yes, he's worth about eight or eight and a half points to the line. But we got to give a little shout out to Matt Moore

tonight. He did all right. He was good. He did some good throws. I was impressed. He was no Aaron Rodgers. God, Aaron Rodgers. That rolling right, that pass back in the end zone to Aaron Jones. Is he even the best Aaron on the team, Rodgers? I don't know. He's the Aaron 1B.

Could be third in the league. Matt Moore for years and years and years has been my favorite kind of tweener. Not quite a starter, but too good to be a backup quarterback. I remember I bet on him that that a playoff game, I think they played Pittsburgh and I was really convinced he had a chance. When Tannehill went down for the dolphins, I think.

And I was really convinced Matt Moore was, you know, people were sleeping on him. And then I think he got concussed like first quarter. It was brutal. But Matt Moore, 15 and 16 now lifetime. So he's not terrible. The watchables. I only have two.

Eagles, Bears. I think this is our first loser leaves town match. I think this is officially we're here. Week nine. Loser leaves town. Yeah. Yeah. Eagles Bears.

Loser leaves town. Well, the Eagles are four and four, and they still have to play the Cowboys. I mean, they're only a game behind right now, right? Or a half game. What is it? See, I knew you would do this. You have no faith in your team. You're going to read the schedule anyway.

So you think if the Eagles are four and five, they're still going to make the playoffs? I think if they had lost this to the Bills, this would be loser leaves town. Man, I'm just dying to have a loser leaves town match. I know you are. Eagles home for the Trubiskyholics. I heard from a lot of Bears fans

after we made fun of the Trubiskyholics last I heard from a lot of Bears fans after we made fun of the Trubiskyholics. They don't like it. Yeah, because they were like, we all think he stinks. We're not recovering from anything. Like, stop making it seem. No, they don't all think he stinks. I was like, first of all, that's not true. Right. You still deep down believe and you're still hoping that he's going to be good.

So don't lie. But they were saying, I think at some point we were calling them the Trubisky Truthers. Right, yeah. And they were saying that actually makes more sense because the Trubiskyholics

insinuates that it's over and now they're rebuilding their life and they're a Trubiskyholic. I see. But the Trubisky Truthers are the people

who still believe. Yeah, Trubisky Truthers is good. What do you like? I like that. Kyle, which one do you like? The Trubisky truthers are the people who still believe. Yeah, Trubisky truthers is good. What do you like? I like that. Kyle, which one do you like? The Trubisky holic rolls off the tongue a little better. I like Trubisky holics better. Kyle likes Trubisky holics.

I think maybe because it makes him want to drink. Kyle, by the way, producing this podcast with a heavy heart today, the week the Patriots finally cut ties with Josh Gordon. Oh, that's right. That's a lot of jerseys. Wasted jerseys. Sad times. Not wasted. As Kyle pointed out, not wasted. I mean, he is the same guy with the one shining podcast tattoo.

So he wears that with the Josh Gordon jersey. I think he's fine. Colts, Steelers in Pittsburgh. You didn't guess the line, I don't think, did you? Oh, I'm sorry. I have Eagles by four.

Yeah, you get that. I went way high. I'm down, way down on this Bears team. I said seven. It's four and a half, so you get that one. You said seven? Yeah. I'm sick of that.

I don't think Chicago can go on the road. It's not the same team. You could talk about the defense and Mac and everything. It's just not, they're not there. Well, ironically, the Eagles were able to look good this week,

partly because their secondary is not good, but it didn't matter because Josh Allen was the other quarterback. Right. Exactly. They're in the same spot this week with Trubisky. Yeah, I guess so. I also think they might've stumbled into something with miles Sanders or not

stumbled. They drafted them. They were expecting to be, but it might've been also think they might have stumbled into something with Miles Sanders. They're not stumbled. They drafted him. They were expecting to be, but it might have been a tipping point week for him. Yeah, the rookie running backs are fun this year. The rookie running backs in general are starting to come up. Colts Steelers in Pittsburgh. The Colts thing, even I'm going to admit, this is now a blackjack table where everybody's got green chips and black chips. The dealer's saying how happy she is for everybody.

They've turned the light on over the table and it's 2.30 in the morning. One of your friends is practically passed out at first base. Walk away. I'm almost out of cigarettes. I can barely speak. It's like it might be time to get up for betting on the Colts. I don't know what else could happen at this point.

And they didn't even cover this week, but they covered the teases and the parlays. But Colts at Steelers. We'll learn a lot about the Steelers during that Miami game. If they're any good at all, they should take care of business against the Dolphins.

And then, you know, they could be 4-4 after this Colts game. No, they're 2-4 now, right? Yeah, but they beat Miami, and then if they beat the Colts, they're suddenly 4-4. After the Colts game, yeah. I had the Colts by three. All right, so you have the Colts by three. You're going to get this.

I said Pittsburgh by two. We went head to head here. Jesus. But you're going to get it because it's it's Colts by one. You were closer. But this is all you need to know. Like Vegas doesn't trust them either. Vegas says this is a basically a pick them game.

The two and four team against the five and two team, the playoff team against a team that doesn't have a chance. Well, I have watched as much Colts as any team except for the Pats, and I don't get it either. The advanced metrics, they're not lying. The Colts are like 25th in the AVOA or something, and every game they've played has come down to the last 10 minutes. The defense doesn't give up big plays.

I'll say that. Brissette keeps them alive. I don't know. I don't think Andrew Luck makes that play. No, he doesn't. He's enough to get out of the end zone. He does other things, obviously. If there was an impressive thing about today,

it's that they won not only without playing well, but with having everything go against them, they still won, which I think feels like a good sign. But I could also I think just be careful. Don't look at this line and be like, wow, I'm only laying a point with the Colts. This is a team, whoever they're playing with, the other

team hangs around and the Colts have been able to make big plays. All right, the barely watchables, we have six games. All of them. Texans at Jaguars. I have the Texans by two and a half. By the way, JJ Watt out for the year. So the Texans losing dudes.

Is he out for the year? They just said it? Well, he is a torn pack. I would assume that's. All right. Well, now what do I do here? Do I just guess that you know that this game is in London, or do I tell you about it and ask you to recalibrate your line?

Is it really in London? It really is. Really? Early, 6.30 a.m. Sunday. 6.30 our time? 6.30 our time. Early game. Well, those are your favorites.

I love it. All right. Now that I know it's in London I'm going to say Texans by 4 Alright see what I did there I'm a genius I said Texans by 2.5 and it's 2 Stole it right there from you

Wow So they think That doesn't make sense I thought neutral field I don't understand that Houston 5-3 Jacksonville 4-4 People think the Jags are good That doesn't make sense. I thought neutral field. I don't understand that. Houston five and three. Jacksonville four and four. People think the Jags are good.

I don't get it either. Watson was poked in the eye. Looks like he was never coming off the field. Let's move on because. Your boy G Minshew, I'll say 13 touchdowns, two interceptions. Is that possible? Is that true yeah so he's still in the rookie of the year for offense battle he has to be him and josh jacobs he comes up jacobs comes up

i think they'll still like kyle amari but by the way uh one beef real quick i didn't get to see a lot i saw the jacksonville jet highlights know why? Because they had nine freaking games again. Yeah. When they can't even accommodate the Sunday Ticket, who runs all the game, that's all you need to know. Sunday Ticket has an eight-game channel.

They have too many games for that. Get in sync with your provider here. This is crazy. Eight and four, not 9 and 3. I set up the favorite channels on DirecTV so I could just have all the football games and then I pick the custom channel. So I had all the eight games

and it's usually from 7.05 to 7.12. But then you have to add the CBS Fox game, take off the one that's blacked out. Right, go to a new channel. It's like six minutes. God forbid they just did this for us. Oh, man. But,

um, so I, I set it all up watching the games and then somebody on like Tennessee made a play and it was on the red zone. And I'm like, where the fuck is that game? I didn't even know that game was happening. That was the one that was at seven 13.

It's like, Oh God. So now I got to go back in the favorite channels at that game. And that turned out to be one of the most fun games. It's always fun when Jameis drops back and he could throw a pick at any time. It's great. Jameis is kind of all things considered the most exciting quarterback in the league. Absolutely.

There's every outcome in play at all times, including a couple that we had today where he just chucks it downfield and Mike Evans catches a 60-yard pass. Phenomenal catches. One's better than the other. Yeah, and then the next play, he'll scramble, he'll juke three guys, and then he'll fumble. Yep. Unbelievable.

He's good. I don't know if these catches should count. Evans always has his shirt untucked, but I guess they're going to let it go. So I've had Evans and Godwin in fantasy all year, and I start them both and it's, you're not supposed to do it, but what's weird is one of them has a big week each week.

And it's just, instead of having the frustrating thing where you have Deandre Hopkins on the week where it's three for 40, I just have these two Tampa guys that every week they add up to like 25 to 40. I was just going to say, you're going to, if you could,

if you could tell me now that I'm going to get 25 points between two receivers. You take it, right? So each week they get there somehow. And I don't care who gets there. Today it was Evans. We did Panthers-Titans. Raiders home for the Lions. Is this a loser's Leaves Town match?

3-3-1 versus 3-4. It's a loser leaves I think maybe for Detroit But I still think 9-7 wins the West Casey's going to win the West This is probably a loser leaves town Yeah, Detroit They're fun though, Oakland I would say this is

What do you have? This is barely watchable I like this game You could have talked me into this being a watchable I like this game, yeah I'll talked me into this being a watchable. I like this game, yeah. I'll watch it. I have Raiders by three. I think we split this.

I said Raiders by one. It's Raiders by two. Ironically, the Raiders are a Khalil Mack short because they can't get stops. But every other part of them is in the game and they can hang with just about anybody and they have some good players but when they absolutely need a stop, they can't get it.

They're one guy short. So maybe they'll get it. You want to watch, you want to like root for a team like the Raiders? Have Waller on your fantasy team. Yeah, Waller's been good. That guy's exciting. He's like Kittle of last year. Yeah, he was one of those rare fantasy sleepers

that everybody was saying was a fantasy sleeper, which usually means they're not a fantasy sleeper. Well, I think they fell in love with him on the hard knocks, right? They focused on him a lot. Yeah. Well, speaking of the Bucs, they're playing in Seattle this week, and the Bucs are just living to ruin your tease. We're throwing the Seahawks in the teaser basket wherever this lands.

I have Seahawks by seven over the Bucs. Yeah, you edge me out here. I had seven and a half. It's six and a half. So you get it. Seahawks center is out. Seahawks center is out? Justin Britt out for the year.

So that's rough. Do we see the Russell Wilson hustle and bustle running for your life version? Because that could be bad. Well, how long have we been doing this? The 13th year we've done the pod? Mm-hmm. We have noticed over the years that losing the center seems to be catastrophic. Right.

That every time that happens, it's never really that good. Keep an eye on that one. Seattle might have missed their window here. They lost that game last week, and now the Rams have a little momentum again. And suddenly, if you're picking who your favorite team is in the NFC West, I think Seattle's third. And they have to play the Rams in L.A. or wherever we are. Yeah.

Yeah, I think the Rams make a move and Seattle falls behind. Well, our next game, we're going to have to do a little gimmick for. Denver is hosting Cleveland. I thought we'd actually have to debate this one in a specific way. So we're going to flip a coin to see who goes first. Do you want heads or tails, Sal? I'll take tails. All right. Hey, Google, flip a coin to see who goes first. Do you want heads or tails? So I'll take tails. All right. Hey, Google, flip a coin.

It landed on tails. Yes. Thank you, Google. You win. There you go. Okay. I thought we didn't even guess the line. I won already. No, here it is. It's Denver, Cleveland. You get to pick a coach to be your coach for this game. Do you pick Vic Fanny Pack Fangio or Freddy Five Finger Kitchens? Who do you have? Oh, man. It's so bad. Google flip a coin again. I can't do this. I got to go Fangio. I think that's the right move

That'd be funny If Google added that to Google's rolling her eyes Right now Would you rather have Fanny Pack Fangio Or Freddy Five Finger Kitchens Well I don't want to start the game with 80 yards and penalties And that's a guarantee for the Browns

I know their skill players are probably better, but we're just not going to see Odell Beckham with three 80-yard touchdowns anymore, right? That's what everyone's waiting for. Yeah, it's not going to happen. I think Fanny Pack Fangio is the right choice. I have the Broncos at home favored by two and a half over the Browns. I get this one. I said one. It's one and a half. Pretty close. Not sure the Browns should be getting respect by anyone in any game on the road against really anybody except the bottom five teams. Let's not bet this. I know-

Stay away. Don't do it. The NFL screws us and gives us only like three late afternoon games and we feel like we have to bet them all, but let's stay away. I was thinking during this game, Courtland Sutton is my, I feel bad for that guy, guy this season. Oh yeah. I think he's, I think he might be good and he can get open and make plays, but Joe Flacco is his quarterback and Vic Fangio is his coach. And the destiny of that team is just to score 13 points a game. I just feel bad for the guy. Yeah, I do too.

Who else is on your, I feel bad for the guy, all-stars? You know what? Because I met him this week, Pete Alonzo. I met Pete Alonzo. That was my highlight of Brooklyn, if you must ask. Meeting Pete Alonzo. Yeah, I did a comedy bit for Kimmel and I met him and it was very nice. And then I take a picture with him.

I make the mistake of taking a picture with him. And all these guys are a foot taller than me. What am I going to do? I think I'm just going to stop taking pictures anymore. It's bad enough I'm photographed with my son who's six foot one, but I took a picture with Pete Alonzo. I took a picture with Howie Long and Strahan and those guys when I did Thursday. And then I have to read the comments like, oh, let's take your son to work. Enough enough i'm not doing it anymore fine i get to meet these guys maybe you should do the tom cruise and get like the nikes with the four inch heels maybe i should interview uh horse jockeys and then then i'll be all right although they're on the horse when they're being interviewed right that listen you might as well be your sixth job you have five jobs just add that

Cousin Sal is now the sideline reporter for the Triple Crown you can ride a horse and pop up next to the jockeys last barely watchables game Packers at Chargers you know I made a mistake this should have been a watchables

because every Chargers game is watchable because it comes down at the last minute and then they fuck it up or the other team fucks it up. This should be watchable in an unironic way for if the damn chargers can get their shit together. Yeah. It's so funny how much better Austin Eckler is than Melvin Gordon.

I don't, I don't understand what they're doing. Like just admit what we all can see with our eyes. Austin Eckler is really really really exciting and i wish he was on the patriots which the patriots are trade for him yeah oh they'll get him the patriots should just trade for all the mid-level receivers right you get muhammad sanu every everybody who gets like 800 yards and five touchdowns that should be the patriots could afford a sixth or seventh rounder for all those guys, right?

We didn't get Muhammad Sanu. We got Muhammad Sanu Sr. Oh, you got the senior. Yeah, you got the old man. It's our first senior. Is it really? Yeah, he was first, a couple of great side effects.

I didn't know what the Sanu trade. I mean, first of all, exciting to have somebody who can get open on a third and eight. That's not Edelman. But the senior on the jersey, that was our first senior. Kyle and I were doing

Sanu senior jokes all day. And then when he made a huge catch. Jamie Collins is a senior too. Does he have the senior on the jersey though? He does. I never noticed that. He does now.

Oh, man. Kyle, do you have Josh Gordon senior or did you just drop it? He's my dad. He made a big catch today, and the crowd was doing the snoo. Snoo. It sounds like boo.

We haven't had a guy like that offensively in a while, so I was excited for that. Then I do the snoo. You had some Red Sox like that, right? A little Merloni. Was that who you did? I mean, you have it with every team, right? Anybody whose name goes with the crowd does it.

It's fun. All right. I have Packers by four over the Chargers. I got this exactly three and a half. So I was thinking, how many Packers fans did this game out of 30,000? Like 27,000 out of 30? It'll be as much game out of 30,000? Like 27? 27,000 out of 30? It'll be as much as the Steelers, right?

Maybe even more. So why isn't this just a Packers home game? Why isn't this Packers by eight? Oh, I see. Well, because they still have to travel, right? I guess. But man, that should be worth four points. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I mean, I know, that should be worth four points. Yeah.

Yeah, you're right. I mean, I know it's not worth three. Typically, you get three-point home field advantage. The Chargers get probably negative one, right? Yeah. We have two spectacular Poopfecta games. Yeah. Bill's Redskins.

It's pretty wonderful Josh Allen against Case Keenum and Daniel Snyder against whoever the hell owns the Bills the Bills Mafia trying to get riled up about the Redskins you have a Buffalo on one side you have Redskins which is

a Native American slur on the other side there's some bad blood there. And this is going to be a really awful game, and I plan on watching none of it. I have the Bills by seven. I went higher, nine and a half. Vegas has it as ten and a half.

Now, see, that's too high. The Redskins defense is actually pretty good. They've had two straight good weeks, I feel like. Don't you think? Like I said, that Thursday game screws everything up. Yeah. The good team doesn't, you know, it's like a good boxer is just going in there.

So it's, it's, it's John Jones getting the decision. It's like, oh man, why didn't he knock them out? Kind of thing. But,

uh, we have Canelo Kovalev by the way. Oh, that's fun. That's Saturday, right? That's next Saturday. Yeah.

I'm actually excited about that fight. All right. Well, we'll put in, see, man, I don't know. That's Saturday, right? That's next Saturday. Yeah. I'm actually excited about that fight. All right. Well, we'll put in... See, man, I don't know. That could be more interesting than just dumping money on Canelo this week. Kovalev, I will always be scared of. The guy could be 50 and I would not want to bet against him.

Right. It's one of those guys. That could be a good fight. It's going to be a style that Canelo might not deal with too kindly. I'm having Chris Mannix on Tuesday and we're going to break it down. All right. The other poop fact of the game. This is really wonderful.

The Dolphins are home. They're hosting Sam Ghostface Darnold in the New York Jets. The Patriots have ruined yet another young QB. Add him to the list. We take their faces and we just put them on a wall. The butt fumble that happened against the Patriots. The ghost game. Sam Darnold.

I'm sure there's been more. I'm just really tired and groggy. I could list more quarterbacks that we've ruined. I felt really bad because I was there in Brooklyn with the Kimmel crew. And some of the like the PAs, the guys who don't make a lot of money, they scrounged some cash together and went to see that game. And they got there like a couple minutes late and they missed. It was all terrible.

It was already over. It was already over. And I was like, oh, you just wasted a night in New York. Congratulations. I have Jets minus three over the Dolphins. No, that went higher. I said six. It's five and a half.

That's stupid. Well, they don't. I mean, Miami is a college team at this point. Pittsburgh's laying. Who's Pittsburgh to lay two touchdowns? The Jets are awful. They beat your stupid team. I know.

It basically came down to your stupid team didn't get it on fourth to one and then Darnold threw a 92-yard touchdown and then the Jets held on the rest of the game. That was a bad five-minute, like real five-minute. Yeah, that was stupid. And then we all thought,

oh, the Jets. It's like, no, no. And also they might make trades. They're talking about trading Robbie Anderson and who else? Somebody else. Robbie Anderson. That's like, no, no. And also they might make trades. They're talking about trading Robbie Anderson and who else? Somebody else. Robbie Anderson. That sounds like a jersey for Kyle. Yeah, I'll take him.

No senior on that bad boy. Kyle Googles him and is like, oh, he's had some issues. Going to the NFL store. 20% off. Speaking of the Pats, Sunday night. Wait, I think you missed one. What did I miss?

Did you do Tennessee, Carolina? Did we do that? No, I accidentally skipped it. That was in Barely Watchable. That's okay. You could skip it. It's not that good. It's in Carolina.

Panthers by four, I have. We'll split that. I said three. It's three and a half. I'm excited for a week which which guy that you work with Furman or Travis will make the unironic oh suddenly Cam Newton's starting to look pretty good huh now isn't he yeah comment during the show is that tomorrow that feels like Clay Travis our buddy Damoshek already did it on Twitter oh Oh, he did? I'm starting to think. I don't know. Do you just never play him if he's healthy?

What do you do? Cam Newton? Yeah. You know, speaking of Damoshek, I don't know what you do with Cam Newton. Damoshek wanted a running back for me because I have a bunch of running backs. He wanted Daryl Henderson. He made some bad offer. He wanted Daryl Henderson?

He made you a bad offer for Daryl Henderson? What the hell can you do? I still feel like when Gurley finally stops playing, Daryl Henderson's going to be good. All right. But at some point, so we're exchanging texts

and I'm like, he wanted Tevin Coleman too. And I'm like, what about Mike Evans and Tevin Coleman for DeAndre Hopkins in the Saints defense? He didn't want to do it.

I, if I were him, I would have been bummed to part with the Saints defense, but I would have done the trade. Otherwise I was looking at it. Like I get DeAndre Hopkins. I can spare the running back. Sure. He didn't have a running back to play this week. So anyway,

he turned that down and the two guys I offered him had 80 points. Right. Like literally they had 80 points or 70 points or whatever. Holy hell. Oh my God. Well, now you could sell high because Kevin Coleman's not going to have 34 points. Banana

splits. Patriots, Ravens, Sunday Night. It's a fun one. Finally, finally. Does it matter that Lamar could cause some trouble or did you see that already with Josh Allen? Josh Allen, Lamar Light?

Literally? I don't know. No. No. No. Who said Lamar Light? I'm just saying, I was going to say you faced all pocket passers. No, Lamar, this is

easily the best quarterback they've played this year. Okay. All right. So you're nervous. I am nervous. I think the Ravens and the Pats, this has been the team. And I know the Giants fans, we're the Giants. We won two Super Bowls against you. It's like, all right, you've sucked for most of the century. in New England. The 35-31, the Julian Edelman-Amandola pass game where they finally broke out the Edelman receiver pass play.

That game was fucking terrifying. Flacco was never afraid to come in there. But just over the years, we've had good games against them. And Harbaugh and Belichick, I think, really respect each other. This is a good one. This will be fun. After a whole afternoon of crap, we'll look forward to this one. And I'm sure Marcus Peters will get a pick.

I'm already resigned to it. It makes me mad. I know he's going to pick a pass. I have the Pats by four against Baltimore. You're closer here. I said five and a half. I've been really impressed with your team here. I said five and a half. I've been really impressed with your team, but it's three and a half.

Yeah, it's fair. I think it's fair. Six. Eight. You're done. Eight, six, including ties. Oh, man, you beat me. Well, I think the Browns, granted, Freddie can be coaching a high school team next year, but

the Nick Chubb thing, they got scared because he had the two fumbles early, both of which were kind of fluky fumbles. One of them was happening because he thought he was running for a 70-yard touchdown, got caught from behind, shades of Remember the Titans. But it just seemed like they could... I think teams can run on the paths is my point. And I think Baltimore is going to look at all the tape from the last few weeks and say, we were running on them. We're controlling the clock.

Who's that a good running game other than Chubb again, let me on bell hasn't, but it's just so hard to say you, you get such a lead on everybody like that. Yeah. But if you watch that jets game last week, every time they actually gave the ball to Le'Veon Bell, it felt like he ran for five, six

yards. Yeah. He was excited Darnold wasn't throwing. He was like, let me make something of this. I am most afraid of teams running on us. What do you think, Kyle? Because I feel like we can shut down any passing attack,

but the running thing worries me. Well, you can't do it. It doesn't really worry me. I'm not going to feel bad for you. You just did 10 minutes on how they had 200 fantasy points. I'm not saying I'm staying up at night. I just think the recipe to beat this Patriots team is to run the ball and then try to hit the hell out of Brady

and make him get rid of the ball too early. Right. Monday night, Cowboys-Giants. All right, now listen to me. I'll guess the line, and then I'll guess. I said seven. What did you say? I have Cowboys by six.

All right, seven and a half. But listen closely. Anybody, please. I don't care that Jason Garrett beat the Eagles last week. If he loses this game, if he loses to the two putrid New York teams, he's got to be out. He's got to be out. He has to.

And I know they beat him earlier in the year, but he has to finish him off. He's never getting fired. You're stuck with him for the rest of your life just like you're stuck with your family and your wife's family and Jimmy's family and everybody else in your life Jason Garrett is stuck in your life

it's unbelievable I already could see us losing this game well congrats you beat me alright it is time for parent corner brought to you by CarMax. The best way to buy a great used car. Find the right car for your family along with a little peace of mind. They have you covered.

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Sal, you have the floor. All right. Well, this isn't too fascinating. I was gone all week I was in Brooklyn my wife came with me for the first time she came Wednesday through Saturday or Tuesday through Saturday she's never been there it's a fun experience

she knows everyone on the show she also doesn't trust me on the road but that's another story but she got her she got her father and his wife, her stepmother, to fly out and to watch our kids. And they're quiet people. They're from the Midwest. They settled in Florida. They take Zumba class. They go on walks. And that's it. They really don't do a lot. But they're responsible and they're going to watch our kids. And I don't think they knew what they got into. Oh no. Yeah. Because, you know, I mean, you have a 14 year old who

not great about letting anyone know what she's doing or in my case, what my son is doing. My wife has a tracker on her phone, so it's not as bad. She could figure it out, but they don't, they don't see him they get nervous there's that thing um the other one won't the the middle child won't eat he won't eat anything except he'll ravage the uh he'll ravage the uh the pantry and they go crazy for that and he invites the neighbor kid over to also go through the pantry and so they were flipping out about that they're like it's just it's just, it's just off. Everything's off center.

And then the little one, this little bastard keeps asking my father-in-law why he's not still married to his grandmother. Grandma. Yeah. All throughout the weekend. Apparently didn't end all throughout the week. And so I, that's really it. There's not, we called to check in. They all throughout the week. And so that's really it. There's not it.

We called to check in. They're in the car. They're nice. They're shuttling the kids to practices, soccer practices and football practices. And they're all in the car. Stepmother, father-in-law and the three kids. And I'm like, hey, guys, how's it going? And the middle kid goes, you have to come home right now.

You have to come home. Enough of this with grandma. And they're right there. He's like, you need to come home right now. We can't have them. I was like, what are you doing? So that's it. So if anyone wants to watch Three Monsters next year, if we go to Brooklyn, please submit a resume.

It's not going to take much. You just really have to know how to drive it's it sounds like there should be a parent version of car max where it's people who can watch your kids for a week like oh yeah that's parent max that could work what'd you call it i don't know get parents for a week max guest yeah i like that the the fact that you did this to your wife's uh parents was really kind of cruel. Yeah, it is. To welcome somebody else into your insane world with that, you know, the two parents with the kids together all the time. You don't realize how weird some of this stuff is until somebody else is in charge for a couple of days. And they realize your middle son and younger son are feuding like for real

yeah stuff like that yeah yeah that was bad all week too they did not handle that yeah i don't know i mentioned that my little dog playing off last week my son lost that election oh he was bummed out and the little one was happy and so they had to deal with that oh my god yeah um well playing off that what welcoming people into your world so we had a whole bunch of people here today because we were doing this state farm shoot for post game after the pats and right after the packers chief so we had probably like 10 to 12 ringer people here setting up in the back because we're filming stuff and uh and i was like i really hope my son doesn't look at this as an opportunity just to

be, just, just to basically have an audience. And, uh, no, of course he did. And, um, he got this new football that half of it is, is square. So you, you throw it like a spiral and then you, you know, and it bounces off the wall and bounces back to you. it like a spiral and then you, you know, and it bounces off the wall and bounces back to you. I would have played with this for, I don't know, a thousand hours when I was a kid. How about you?

Yeah, for sure. I would never stop. So he has that. And it came in the mail today for some reason. So he really wants to play, but in the backyard, you know,

we have all these people and there's cameras and there's barbecue and all this stuff. Didn't stop him. He's still whipping the ball off things and going around and just doing his thing. Smashing the propane lamps. Yeah. Smashing the propane lamps, all that stuff. It's like, all right, I knew this was going to happen. He's walking through, he's coming in, he's coming out. Around, I would say six o'clock. Now he's just in a t-shirt and his underwear and uh

how would you describe his underwear Kyle? I think they're Spongebob underwear not like tighty whities like a little longer yeah small briefs you know we have men we have women here it doesn't stop him so he's walking around he's playing football

he's on the trampoline and uh and just like just ben put some pants on no no pants at all so the good news is he left his phone in the in the guest house uh which i was able to crack the code and i went and i looked through all his texts with his girlfriend, which I hadn't done in a while. That's great. And so he calls boo and it's not just boo.

It's boo in the address book, but there's a heart and smiley faces and all this stuff. So I, there was one text about, she was talking about applying to schools and she was really nervous about getting in all this stuff and ben ben texts her back you are the though i don't not english and then i really screwed because i'm not even sure i'll get into any other schools when i leave willows three hearts i was like you might be really screwed because you can't spell. You're turning 12 in a week.

So anyway, we looked through the text and there's just a lot of heart emojis and we're really laughing. So innocent love, it's the best. Let me ask you, does Ben know the stories you tell, the Parent Corner stories? It's unclear. Yeah. Because I worry about this like yeah is carmax gonna pay for a coffin like when our kids rebel and murder us i just feel like he'll get his revenge later i mean you could say i really screwed yeah that's just ben i i also really screwed yeah four hearts Four hearts. Why not? Four hearts. Got to talk to Boo later.

I'm just glad they're back together. Yeah. They really are an adorable couple. Ben and Boo. Yeah, Ben and Boo. I hope they make it. Hey, remember, CarMax only sells the best used cars. They rule out millions of cars in their vending process. Select only the best to become CarMax certified.

Over 200 stores nationwide. More than 50,000 CarMax certified cars to choose from. They make it easy to find the perfect car for your family. They have your back with a seven-day money-back guarantee on every vehicle. No haggling, never any pressure to buy. Drive worry-free 90 days or 4,000 miles. Whichever comes first with the CarMax limited warranty. Start the search for your next car at CarMax.com.

What do you got to plug, cuz? All right, I'm on Fox Thursday night, the pregame show. It's going to be a Halloween edition. Uh, I don't know, locking in four 30 to five 30 Eastern every day on FS one. And against all odds,

this Tuesday night, we'll go over the big games in NFL. Harry is six and one and is against the spread and some gold nugget contest or something. And he's in currently in first place out of like 330 people. What is going on with Harry exactly? Because it seems like he's had a lot of success on his Twitter feed. And this is somebody who his entire shtick was that he just lost money

on terrible teases each week. What's happened? I know. I told him. I told him this is not good for you. It's not good for your brand. You need to keep losing and not winning. Nobody likes this guy who wins all the time. I beat him this is not good for you. You know, it's not good for your brand. You need to keep losing and not winning. Nobody likes this guy who wins all the time.

I beat him in fantasy by 70 points today. So he's going to shut up about that. But yeah, I agree with you, right? He needs to, he needs to reign it in or something. Or is he having a renaissance? Is this its own Ewing theory where he got rid of Ken? Oh, maybe. And now it's like, he's a Ewing theory candidate now.

Oh, interesting. Cause I, I thought his whole thing was he always lost. He's the Ewing Theory, but capital EW. He's the Ewing Theory. I'm sorry, Harry. I love you. Oh, my God. Oh, by the way, last week you had the Kimmel, the Fox bit,

and it was really fun. Jimmy came on. Yeah, we celebrated the Cousins Bowl because Kirk Cousins came back and played his whole team, and I involved my cousin. Yeah. Thank you. What was it like to stand next to the guys in the field? It's good. They do a good – you know, I always thought that they were in the city where the game is, but they're only in New York all the time time and they put jerseys behind them and make it look uh make it look like they're right there but uh yeah it was it was

exciting to be there live i'll tell you what like you know that i don't want to say the whole bit but whatever the idea was my cousin jimmy gave me a box to bring a gifts to bring um howie michael and tony gonzalez and i had this box and how he didn't trust it at all i mean i could have put anything in that box he actually did look afraid of it he did and i could have put you know bob's dildos in that box they wouldn't know and then uh so i'm walking out to the set with him and how he's like sal what's in the box and i was like well really it could be anything and he's like what the fuck is in the box he freaked out I was like I promise

you're going to be underwhelmed it ended up being personalized scarves which was a nice gift and like threw them off a little bit so I was from Charlestown you don't want to fuck with them that's true I don't want to fuck with them anyway he was like Brad Pitt in 7 what's in the box what's in the box

empty the box what happened to the cousins bowl the actual bowl i don't know i i have it somewhere you want it i don't know i thought it was a good prop i liked it oh good all right well we'll eat halloween candy out of it i think you should bring it to uh to corollas and see if brad smashes itashes it over. That wouldn't last three minutes. All right. Cuz as always, good job by you. Good job by you, Billy.

All right. Thanks to the cuz. Thanks to nephew, Kyle. Thanks to square more than the little white credit card reader, a whole system of tools built to run and grow any kind of business from point of sale and payroll to invoices and online stores. Go to square.com slash go slash BS

to see all the ways you can take your business from square one to whatever's next. I'm excited to see Kyle take it to whatever's next. We are back Tuesday and then again Thursday. Don't forget about the rewatchables going up late Wednesday night too with The Shining. And then Thursday, a little announcement about something that's coming

that I am really excited about. So I'll tell you about that on Thursday. Until then. I don't have feelings within On the wayside I'm a bruised soul I never was I don't have feelings within