The Bill Simmons Podcast - The Mailbag Makes a Dramatic Return

Episode Date: November 18, 2025

The Ringer’s Bill Simmons opens up the mailbag to answer various questions from the listeners (2:14). Host: Bill Simmons Producers: Chia Hao Tat and Eduardo Ocampo Get Gameday Deals all season long only on Uber Eats. Order Now. This episode is sponsored by State Farm®. Don’t settle for just any insurance when there’s State Farm. The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit⁠⁠ www.rg-help.com⁠⁠ to learn more about the resources and helplines available. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Bill Simmons podcast is brought to by the Ringer Podcast Network, where we put up a new rewatchables on Monday night. I did Weird Science with Kyle Brandt. It is a 1985 movie, John Hughes. It's both unbelievable that it happened, but also kind of delightful that it happened. It straddles both worlds. 1985, very weird year in general.

I put up a tweet a couple days ago of the Billy Ocean song from, it's either Jewel of the Now or Romance in the Stone, where he sings it with Kathleen Turner and Danny DeVito and Michael Douglas, and they're in the background. And then at some point, Danny DeVito grabs a trumpet or a sax and starts a sax and starts pretending to play the sax, and it's just bonkers. And I put it up, and for some reason, it became a really popular tweet because I think everybody was like, what was going on in 1985?

What was going out in 1985 was things like Word Science? So check out that rewatchable. I'm not sure what we're doing next week yet. I am recording this mailbag on a Monday. So if anything crazy happens, we're running it on Tuesday, but if anything bonkers happens, don't blame me. But I asked for mailbag questions at BS Podcast 33 at gmail.com. People sent a lot of questions,

and we're going to tackle them right after this break and right after Pearl Jam. The listener mailbag is back. This episode of the Bill Simmons podcast is presented by, State Farm. Having insurance isn't the same as having State Farm. It's like needing the protection offensive guard on the football field, but getting an elementary school crossing guard. Sure, they're both guards, but you can only trust one to keep your quarterback safe when the game is on the line. So don't settle for just any insurance. When you can have State Farm, like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

All right, the mailbag, here's the history of the mailbag, because it started in 1997, and now it's 2025. I can't believe this is still going. But when I started, I had the old Boston Sports Guy website, and I was looking for things that would, you know, little gimmicks that would make me feel different than the newspaper column this. So the easy one was a mailbag that readers could email on questions. It was modeled after David Letterman's viewer mail that he was doing in the 80s, which I always loved, which I always tried to get in, never got in there. And then it became one of the staples for me. When I had my old website, when I went to ESPN, it was one of the things that I knew was going to work. got so many questions those first couple years of ESPN that I actually had to hire an intern.

Jamie, shout out to Jamie, who eventually ended up working for Jimmy Kimmel Show. And he was going through all those things and sending me like choices and I would sip through it. And it just kind of kept going all the way through, all the way through to 2015 when I left ESPN. I think I did a couple more at the ringer. And then we tried some on the podcast. And then I don't really know why. I just kind of stopped doing them. listener, the listener mailbags, uh, somewhere before COVID. It's coming back. This is

time. Heading into 2006. Um, it allows me to hit a whole bunch of dumb stuff and hopefully lean on the, uh, on the listeners. I will say some very good questions in this first batch, which you could, uh, you could send to BS Podcast 33 at gmail.com. A little more serious than the old days, more serious, a lot of serious sports questions. We didn't have a ton of goofy, which is fine. We're all kind of working our way back in. And I probably need like five or six to really figure out how to do this correctly. So this is the Virgin effort in 2025, the Virgin post-COVID effort.

But I probably need five or six. There's some wrinkles that I was thinking about. I didn't want to try on this first one. I'm just going to go through. We're going to go through all the emails. I'm going to do all the answers. I wrote out some stuff. we can add the other stuff.

And we're just going to try it. So hold my hand and join me on this mailback journey. First question. It's from Chris from the North Shore. He says, you know what this mailbag comeback reminds me of? It's like Jalen Brown sprayed on hair. You didn't think it could come back. You're not sure it should come back.

But there it is. Somehow holding together for another run. First of all, thank you, Chris. I totally agree. I don't really have an answer for Jalen Brown's sprayed on hair or why anyone does this, other than to maybe get people talking. But I think Jalen Brown would look fine bald. I don't understand why you'd want to play sports with sprayed on hair.

I don't really understand any of it. But I think it's a good, I think it's a good comparison to how we're starting here. We're trying to spray on some hair and bring the mailbag back back. Next question from Tommy from Rye. Shout out to Rye. I knew a couple of people on Rye. Simmons, if you're bringing the mail bag back, please don't do 90% NBA questions and forget the stuff that.

got you here, like talking about favorite TV shows, stupid sports announcers, David's turn rigging the NBA, or Apollonia purifying herself in Lake Minnetonka. Yep, these are your readers. Tommy from Rye. Tommy, I understand the assignment. I hope you guys all understand the assignment. We need a slightly crazier. We need a nice little blend of serious smart emails and then just completely goofy. But yeah, I understand the assignment. Don't worry. Next question. for Mark from San Diego. In your old age, this is a new thing

people are giving me that I'm old. I feel spiritually young. I don't feel like I'm old yet. And how dare you? Anyway, in your old age, you forgot about one of the greatest football metrics you ever created.

Wins above Rahim Morris. It's never mentioned or considered in any of your pick pods. Please bring it back for the sake of your bankroll. That's from Mark from. San Diego. Okay, so I use warm. That was the

acronym for wins above Bahrain Morris. I use warm when I do my preseason NFL futures because under the theory that if you're replacing a bad coach with a good coach, it has to be worth between five to eight wins. I mean, we just have so much evidence of this now. It was the reason I picked New England to be a

playoff team because Mike Vrable was replacing Gerard Mayo. It was the reason I picked the bears. I think I went over on them. I think I might I'd have even had them in the playoffs because Ben Johnson was taking over from a complete mess there. It was the reason in 2024, the Chargers case of Jim Harbaugh taking over for Brandon Steeley, who was really, really terrible. And then Dan Quinn and Washington, same thing, taking over for Ron Rivera.

So Warm works. And if you're talking about futures, yes. I did wonder, though, was it fair to name Warren after Rahim Morris? Because when I did it, when I was right in my column, part of the reason was he got hired by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, he was young. He was like 31 or 32, and he was terrible. He was 32. He went 17 and 29 over three years.

It couldn't have gone worse, but he was young. Then he got the Atlanta job. Well, in two and a half years for them, he's 15 and 25. So lifetime, he's 32 and 54, which is 12th worst all time for anyone who's lost at least 50 games, 12th worst. The only guy I was thinking who might have had a case to have a warm name after which we would have to change the acronym, was Romeo Cornell, because one year after I created Worm, Romeo Cornell was coaching the chiefs. They went 2 and 14. Andy Reid came in. He immediately

went 11 and 5. So it was a plus 9. And Romeo is 32 and 63 career, which is third worst winning percentage of anyone who has over the last 60 plus games. So you could potentially call this work, W-A-R-R-C. But I really enjoy Warm. Warm's funnier. And by the way, the Falcons should be better. They went 8 and 9 last year. They had, I think they had the 15th pick and then they traded the 26 pick or they traded for the 26 pick and traded their 2026 first to the Rams so they could pick 26, take these two rookie pass rushers. They really went for it. And now they're 3 and 7 and their injury prone quarterback, Michael Pennix, got hurt. I do wonder, we talked about this at the time whether Belichick would have been a better pick for them. Now, granted, Belichick might

just have lost his mind. But in theory, they don't pick Belichick. They spent 40 million year on Kirk Cousins, who's coming off of torn Achilles and didn't have a lot of mobility to begin with. They then draft an injury-prone Michael Pennix 8th, who's now hurt, and they trade their 2006 unprotected first for a second-level rookie pass rusher.

And I am not sure Belichick could have done worse than that, even if Jordan Hudson was the GM. So there you go. Speaking of war, which actor or actress had the highest war for a role they played? This is from Patrick Broderick, someone doing at a level way above what any other actor could have done with the same role. So he throws out Gandalfini. He said Gandalfini doing something as Tony Soprano that no one else could have truly done. Was it the Seinfeld main cast, the TV version of the Phillies Four Aces?

I like that. And then he said his pick is John Hamm as Don Draper on Mad Men. excellent actor actually tall classically handsome more importantly a complete unknown which is true you needed that for the role um i think i've talked about this before the the highest war ever for a tv show and war if you don't know what that means it's wins above replacement so if you take take it started in baseball take a baseball player like a shortstop and let's say it's a rod in 1999 and you just put an average person in that spot how much better is A-Rod than that average person?

They have a good metric for this. It's one of the, I think, the best nerd stats we have in sports as war. So the answer here is clearly Gandalfini. It's not even a question. He had the most important role on one of the four or five greatest TV shows ever. I personally think it's the greatest TV acting performance of all time. I have it number one. We could argue about it, but if we're doing a list, he has to be mentioned pretty quickly as you're going down your list.

I think it's first. But then the other finalist for that role, and there's been a lot of stuff written and talked about with this, was Michael Rospoli. Michael Rospoli, who we just covered on Snake Eyes in the rewatchable spot on Monday, actually, had a bit role in that. He, you probably remember he's been, he's one of those guys, but you probably remember him as grand. grandma in Rounders, that really seedy guy with the pit bulls and wanted worms money. That was the other choice. And I'll do respect to Michael Rospoli. I'm sure he's an awesome guy.

Seems like a very good character actor. But if he's Tony Soprano, I just don't think that show is the same show. I don't think it's remembered as an all-time hall of famer. I think one of the great things I loved about that show is that there were some people who weren't like the greatest actors, you know? Like, as fun as Polly was, Polly wasn't exactly Pacino. Christopher was great.

Edie Falco was unbelievable. Some of the bit people were good, but when you think about all the people like in the mob, people like, ironically, Michael Ruspoly played Jackie Appreel, Jack April Jr. Johnny Sack, he was okay. When they brought Frank Vincent in, he was really good. But for the most part, like you needed Gandoffini

to just be levitating above everybody else. And it turned out to be one of the great performances. not just in TV, but in movies. I think if you're just going 21st century, what are the great performances? You have to put it up there. So I would say he has the highest war. Next question is from Mark Skeggs.

This came in this morning, actually, because Sal and I were talking last night about San Darnold and what's the nickname for Sam. And when Sam's Altarigo shows up and throws multiple interceptions in big games, and Sal decided it should be sham Darnold, which of that was pretty good. Mark Skegg says,

Given his pension for betraying his team in betters and big games, should the alter ego for Sam Darnold be Benedict Darnold? That's amazing. I don't know how we didn't think of that. Benedict Darnold, perfect. That's better than Scam Darnold, Shamed Arnold, or Spammed Donald. I have Seahawks overs. I like the Seahawks.

I don't want to see Benedict Darnold again, but who knows? We might. Okay. Next question is from Matt from Manhattan Beach. is LeBron secretly the greatest leveraged buyout guy in history? Every time he joins a team, he pulls all the future growth of the franchise into the present, spiking the valuation, then wins a title, then leaves right before the debt comes due. Miami, Cleveland 2.0, Cleveland 1.0, the Lakers, same playbook every time.

He even got his kid an internship. That's funny. He's basically a one-man-bane capital, except he actually gets hundreds of millions and a parade for it. No private equity guy ever bought a company, stripped it of its future assets, and then got a trophy and confetti for doing it. See, this feels like a major dig against LeBron. I actually think, I can't decide if this helps LeBron's go case against MJ or hurts it because technically all that stuff worked. He won two titles of Miami.

he won the 2016 title in Cleveland and he won the 20 title in the Lakers. So it's not like it didn't work. I asked a hedge fund guy I know for his take. Here's what he wrote back. This is so smart. Riddles the business with debt, inflates its value,

and then leaves town before the debt due. Who is the corollary for a CEO that does this? Huge pay package, slaps lipstick on a pig for short-term optics, rides out of town on high horse. Sounds like David Zazloff and Warner Brothers. I think that's our parallel. David Zasloff and LeBron.

The mailbag's back. What other areas comparing those two people? This question's really good. This is from Ethan. Doesn't the Luca trade need to be memorialized in a rewatchables category? I can't believe in any think of this. Maybe the Nico Harrison Award for a character's decision that makes no sense even as it's happening.

Like in disclosure, did anyone think it was a good idea for Michael Douglass? was to hang out in Demi Moore's low-lit office after hours. No, not one person thought that. Anyway, good job, Ethan. Incredible idea. I'm just saying it now, we're going to add this to the rewatchables when it's appropriate. I think the Nico Harrison Award for worst decision that was terrible as it was happening, I think just should be in there.

Whenever I think of whether a rewatchable's category should work, I always go back to heat because heat was the reason the rewatchables happened. happened. And could this category have worked in heat? Obviously, yes, because Neil McCauley wins the Nico Harrison Award in heat for, he could have gotten away. His whole life is about when the heat's around the corner, you got to get out there in 30 seconds, can't have any attachments. And he's literally leaving to get away after this incredible bank house with a million people murdered and they got all this money and he's leaving. And all of a sudden he's like, you know what? Before I go, I think I got to kill

Wayne Groh, even though he's in a hotel that's heavily protected by police. I just got to bang this out. Terrible, terrible idea. Nico Harrison Award winner. So we'll be adding that the next time we do heat. I was trying to think of the five best Nico Harrison Award winners other than Neil. And I'm going to count these down from five to one. John Wick 2.

Tarasov's loser's son killing John Wig's dog. Terrible idea. I don't, even sure Nico would have done that. So that's number five. Number four, the old lady at the end of Titanic throwing her kajillion dollar necklace into the water because she was still in love with Jack, even though she married another guy and had a whole family with the other guy. And that necklace, which was worth roughly seven kajillion dollars, maybe could have generated some future wealth for future generations of this family she allegedly cared about. Nope,

throws the necklace in the water. That's number four. Number three, saving private Ryan. This was the flaw of saving private Ryan. What was the point of this? Because all of his brothers died and now we have to make sure he's the only brother that's left. So we're going to go back into battle and potentially risk, you know, hundreds of soldiers to save this one guy. Stupid. Number two, this one still bothers me. Fredo pretending he didn't know Johnny Ola and Godfather too. There's just no way Michael's not going to find out at some point that he actually knew Johnny Ola. I have no idea why he lied.

Johnny O'L is right there. Just say, oh, yeah, I know Johnny. These guys are all in the same mafia circles together. Like, just stop. Just say you knew him. Instead, he doesn't say he knows him. But, you know, every family member, every family has a Fredo. Number one, this is easy.

Mayor Vaughn demanding to keep the Amity beaches open in Jaws even after there's been an attack. This was, if you could pick one thing from a movie that directly parallels the Luca trade, it's Mervon keeping the beaches open. And somehow keeping his job for Jaws too, which I never really figured out. But Mervon, Nico Harrison, dead even. At least in the Mavericks case, they inadvertently ended up with Cooper Flag. I don't know what happened in Jaws, too.

Just more murders. Anyway, we're going to take a break and then we'll keep going with the mailbag. The Bill Simmons podcast is brought to you by a Fandul. Fandle is putting you in control right from tip off. That's right. You get to choose your reward, play it safe. Go for it, feeling bold.

That's your move. Whatever your style, you're in control. We're part of the basketball season where you should just keep track of what's going on in the league and ride the same team for a few games. I think Orlando's in a good streak right now where it feels like they're starting to find their identity again. Atlanta playing without Tray Young,

I think they're seven and two since at least through the weekends games. But with size and athleticism and defense, it feels like they're kind of hitting their stride. So those are two teams that I really think Houston's good. I think it's going to take a couple weeks for people to realize that Houston's for real. No matter how you play, Fando is giving you the power

to choose your award and own your game this NBA season. Head to fando.com slash BS to make your pick get in the game and play it your way. Let's be 21 plus

president select states are 18 plus in president in D.C., Kentucky, Wyoming. Optin required. Rewards are non-moderable restrictions apply, including bonus

and token expiration leg requirements and max wager amount. See terms at Sportsbook. Fando.com. Game problem. Call 18000 gamble.

Visit RG-G-HELP.com. Call 1888-78-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7. or visit ccpg.org slash chat in Connecticut. This episode is brought to by Uber Eats. Every football season, the same thing happens. The game somehow makes everybody really hungry. Quarterback scrambles clearly a sign for breakfast burritos. Yeah.

Turnover, suddenly dessert at 2 p.n doesn't sound so crazy. Wing formations. Well, those can only mean buffalo wings, as if they're ever not in play. Even the goalposts start looking suspiciously like French fries. It's almost like football is sending them. message to eat more food. Yeah, the good news, Uber Eats makes those cravings easy to satisfy with game day deals all season long from wings and pizza to chips, drinks, and even last minute grocery

runs. Don't sleep on those. You'll find savings on all your favorites delivered straight to your door. Order now on Uber Eats. All right, the mailbag. Next question is from Daniel. What's the most realistic thing Trump could do that would send sports fans into a fucking fucking frenzy.

I thought about this for a while. I mean, it's interesting. He could have been owning the Buffalo Bills this entire time if that sale had been through. I don't know if that would have meant he wouldn't have run for president. But Trump as an active Buffalo Bills owner and president, I think would have probably been a thing. Just guessing. But he probably couldn't have done both. But I think the answer to this, and I really thought about it.

I was trying to think about something that was realistic and something that would just drive at least a certain, either a franchise crazy or the fans of a league crazy or something. And I think it would be Trump messing with the masters in Augusta. Like Trump just deciding some sort of obscure rule or maybe this land belongs to somebody else or he's going to push through some rule where somebody can buy Augusta and completely change it.

and modernize it, I think that would make people absolutely bonkers. Trump messing with Augusta is the answer to that question. This is from my friend Ben, who texted me last night because I'd put up a YouTube short of me and the sauna making a Patrick Mahomes joke, which I called Sona takes. And he said, you wear a t-shirt in the sauna. Are you a sociopath? and we started arguing about if it's okay to wear a t-shirt in the sauna. So this could go one of two ways. I think if you're in a health club, you go in probably shirtless with the towel.

If you have one of those little mini saunas, which is what we have, I actually like wearing the t-shirt because then I can wipe my face with it. I don't like wiping my face with a towel in the sauna. I actually like having the sweat and wiping it, but I'm also not defending it. Like, it actually made me do a reevaluation, wondering if I was actually a sociopath, T-shirt and the sauna. Maybe not for everybody. Maybe that's what we've learned.

Okay. In the 21st century, this is from Joe Goldstein, which of these two events do you consider to be the bigger sliding doors moment in terms of overall impact to the NBA? his first choice is the 2003 NBA draft where Detroit selected Darko basically over Carmelo. People now, after the fact, throwing Dwayne Wade into this, but there was no way Dwayne Wade was going second in this draft. He just wasn't. It was either LeBron or Carmelo, and Darko was the other pick, and Darko gained a lot of steam.

And as usual, it was sports. We have a lot of revision sister in there. Darko was the fast riser. It was LeBron. Then it was Carmello, and it was those three. So Wade wasn't going second. Carmelo, I said at the time, I thought they should have taken Carmelo. I couldn't believe they didn't.

I actually think it would have been the greatest thing that ever happened in Carmelo's career, which I think ultimately for what his talent was and how good of his score he was, was pretty disappointing. He made the conference finals once in his entire career in 2009. And actually, the Lakers 2-2, and then couldn't pull off either of the last two games. But I think for the most part, if you did Carmelo's career 10 times, the version we ended up with might be the most disappointing version. I always thought, I said the same thing. And when Dirk won the title in 2011, I always thought that could have been the model for Carmelo, where he was an awesome score.

You could have built the right team around him. And you actually could have won the title with him. I've always thought that. So Detroit selecting Darko instead of Carmelo, I just don't think they win in 2004 if they do that. I think they have to work them in. There's some weird Tayshan Prince versus Carmelo stuff. And if the goal is to win a title,

do they win a title with Carmelo? Because it would have had to have been 0.4 or 05, then the Wallace is start getting old. So maybe the 05 title. I don't think it's as big as sliding door as Joe's other option, which she said, 2016 NBA Finals,

Draymond's ball shot to LeBron late in game four. No question, it's the ball shot. And I've talked about this a little before, but so Golden State is up to one in that series. Game four is the game. It's in Cleveland. And I think that's one of the best games of the last 15 years, which if you go back and watch it, which they don't really rerun it that much.

I wonder if it was because of the controversial ball shot and everything that happened after. Maybe we'll say nutshot. I think nutshot is better than ball shot. But it's, I think, one of the best games of the entire Warriors era with Steph. they go in Cleveland throws absolutely everything at them and Golden State still gets through it and they and they pull it off and they're going to go back to Golden State and they're going to win in game five, right?

And near the end, LeBron, in one of the great moments of his career, like really smart. He knows Drayman is right near that technical foul limit where you get suspended for the next game and he starts fucking with him at the end of the game and stands over him and Drayman doesn't like it and he's trying to get them up and kind of waves this hand up. And they look at it after and decide that it should have been a technical.

And ever since it happened, the running joke with pretty much anybody who knows anything about the NBA and works for a team, is connected, name it, is always like, oh, yeah, that suspension happened because they wanted LeBron and Cleveland to win. I mean, it really, this is one of the most mentioned ones. If you're going to go, conspiracy bills shown up later in this mailbag, but if you're really going to bring out conspiracy bill this is one of the best ones but the sliding door stuff for this i think cleveland loses game five golden state goes down as the greatest single season regular season team ever they win 73 games come back against okay c and then beat cleveland in five

kd cannot sign with uh with golden state if they win the title he just can't it's off the table which means he either goes to Boston because Boston had the cap space or resigns with OKC for one more year and then reevaluates in 2017. I actually think that's probably what he would have done. I think he would have done a one-year deal and then try to figure it out a year later.

LeBron never wins in 2016, which puts an incredible amount of pressure on 2017. Now, if Durant's not there in 2017, maybe they could have won that one. the Kyrie thing is starting to get a little gamey in 2017. I don't know. He might not have won in Cleveland. Kyrie never gets his shot in game seven.

That becomes his one great moment and becomes the thing people always pointed to until he had his Dallas redemption of like, say what you want about Kyrie, but he made one of the great shots in the history of the league. And then the Clay Thompson game in OKC, that becomes, if they win the title that year, that becomes the most legendary playoff fee check we've ever had because that would have swung them getting into the finals, the whole thing.

And then Curry wins back to back. And then also the favorite of 2017 historically puts him on a whole other level. They ended up winning back to back with Durant. But I think winning 15 and 16 back to back, that's a big one. But the big one is LeBron, not winning in Cleveland. And if he hadn't won in Cleveland in 16, 17, 18, would he have just stayed? Would he have just been like, I can't leave until this happens? and that just would have kept been like a jenga stack

with they didn't have a lot of picks and a lot of ways to get better. Then he never goes to the Lakers. What happens to Lakers with Lanzo and Brandon Ingram and Julius Serent, all these guys they had would they have just tried to go young, would they have eventually gone all in on Kauai? Like, that is the best sliding doors

of the last 10 years, no question. And it all comes back to Draymond, who may or may not have intentionally hit LeBron and the boss. There you go. Okay, this is from Adam. In Lafayette, Colorado, how many of the Pat's six Super Bowls would you give up in exchange for them finishing off the 18-0 season in 0-7-08 going 19-0 and beating the Giants? And which one of the six would you give up?

First of all, thank you for asking. I thought about it. I think the 19-0 season, you almost have to think about this like a football trade where when somebody trades up in football for a quarterback, they're giving up their current first, a future first, and something else at the very least. So obviously trading the 2005 Eagles Super Bowl,

because they'd already won the year before and then in the 2001, the miracle season. So even though beating Pittsburgh that year was great, the actual Super Bowl against the Eagles, wasn't like the greatest game. Kind of more remembered for Donovan McBabb, Brendan, the two-minute drill for 10 minutes. So I'd sacrifice that one for 19-0 in a heartbeat,

but I think I'd have to throw in more. I'd be willing to throw in the last Belichick Brady Super Bowl when they beat the Rams 13 to 3. Maybe lose that game, but you beat the Chiefs the round before, which was the real Super Bowl, holding off Mahomes for one more year, giving Brady that. And then I would also,

if I had to throw in anything else, making the 2012 Super Bowl, which was they ended up sneaking by the Ravens in the AFC title game. Lee Evans got stripped when he caught what seemed to be the game winning touchdown and then got stripped right after he caught it. And then Billy Kunduff missed an easy field goal.

All of a sudden, the Pats run in the Super Bowl. Grankowski was hurt. It wasn't a great Pat's team. So I would trade 2005, 2019, and I'd lose in the AFC title game. I'd turn all of those into losses for the chance to go 19-0, achieve immortality,

never having the helmet catch and keeping Eli Manning out of the Hall of Fame. Yeah. It's not even a question. So in this scenario, in this Super Bowl trade scenario, we'd win five Super Bowls instead of six, we'd make eight Super Bowls instead of nine,

the helmet catch never happened, 19-0 did happen, and Eli stays out of the Hall of Fame. That sounds great. Next question from John Walsh, John J-O-N, not John Walsh who was my mentor. I know the NBA has shelved its plan for expansion,

but assuming they do add teams in Seattle and Las Vegas, how would you realign the conferences? You know, this is a really interesting NBA question, and I've talked about this with different NBA people who probably won't talk to me now after the LeBron Nutshot thing. But Memphis and New Orleans go east. I think that happens. I think Milwaukee has to go west.

And what's interesting is Milwaukee was initially west, and then somehow switch back and became East. I don't know how we decided to do that. But I would switch those three. Then you add Seattle and Las Vegas. You put them on the Western Conference side. I'll just rip through this super quick. Four 18 divisions.

You have the East, Boston, New York, Brooklyn, Philly, Washington, Toronto, Detroit, Cleveland. Those are all pretty close together. You have the South, Chicago, Indiana, Charlotte, or Los Angeles. Miami, Atlanta, New Orleans, Memphis. The north, Milwaukee, Denver, Minnesota, Utah, San Antonio, Houston, Dallas, OKC. And then the west, Seattle, Portland, Phoenix, Vegas, L.A., L.A., Sacramento, Golden State.

I just solved it. Unfortunately, we're not getting expansion. Although, although, although there is some Vegas buzz building again. I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility that the league adds one more team, not to, that they have 31 teams and that they jump on this Vegas market

while there's like a real opportunity and real money behind it and a lot of groups and a lot of interest. And the price would have to be, my guess, what I've been told, is somewhere between $7 and $8 billion. At least seven, because that's what it's basically what the Celtics got when you put in you put in all the other stuff

all the puts the minority owner said so let's say it's let's go 7.5 billion dollars for a new Vegas team that would mean 30 times 250 every team gets 250 million cash they don't have to share it with the players right just money into their pockets and they'd be sacrificing going for from a 130th media right to a 131st meteor right. But they'd be getting this $250 million up front. And if you think about it, how long are you going to own an NBA team? It's weird.

The expansion was dead. I think they moved toward this NBA Europe thing, but there's some Vegas buzz again. I'm just telling you. And I look forward to other people reporting this down the road and not mentioning this podcast, but there's some Vegas bus. Next question from Jeremy Alexander.

Oh, it's another reordering question with teams. He says, Indy moves to the AFC North, Baltimore moves to the AFC East, and Miami moves to the AFC South. Who says no? I looked at this and I was like, wait, why isn't that the way they've done it? Why is Miami and the AFC East instead of the AFC South? Baltimore is right next to Washington. So you could basically have the AFC East, they would have Buffalo, New York.

England, the Jets in Baltimore, all of whom are next to each other. And then Indy in the in the AFC North, that makes sense too. They'd be with Pittsburgh and Cincinnati and Cleveland. Of course. And then Miami is in the AFC South with Jacksonville and Houston in Tennessee. Of course. Why wouldn't they do this? Come on, Goodell. Next question is from Albert Stern. He said, a basic Google search. about steroids say they weaken tendons and increase the risk of rupture. Why does no one talk about this?

Albert, what are we doing? We're trying to ease the mailbag in here. Settle down. Settle down. Let's not get in trouble in the first mailback. Jack G, he wonders, if you could pick one game to be able to rewatch like it had never happened before, what would it be?

And if you could pick any game in history to attend in person, what would it be? So I actually did this with my son once. During COVID, we watched a Christian Leitner game against Kentucky. And he had no idea what was happening. And I was like, let's just watch the second half. This game is awesome. Like, just watch this.

He's like, who won? I'm like, I'm not going to tell you. So we watched it, all the back and four stuff. And then Leidner hits the shot at the end. And my son was like, just his head was doing 360s. He couldn't believe this was an actual sporting event. So that made me think like, that's a great, that's at least a finalist for this. but the actual answer is the 1980 Olympic hockey game

between the U.S. and the USSR. That's the answer. That's the game you would have wanted to be at. There's no game in the history of sports you would rather have wanted to be at than that game. That's also the game. If you didn't know what happened and you came out of a coma

and you just put that on, you wouldn't believe it happened. So I think that is the answer on both ways. Okay. Kevin from Las Vegas asks, with the Celtics hanging around 500, not looking like they'll tank, which is true. If Jason Tatum actually comes back on the early side, does the trade machine Picasso see a move they could make

to actually make them a threat this year? So I came on this pod to almost two weeks ago after I saw the Celtics and person in Washington and thought to myself, feels like this is a tank situation. They can't rebound. They're very dependent on three guys. If any of them get hurt, they're in a lot of trouble.

And I'm not sure. see it. But think about all the stuff that's happened since. Washington and Brooklyn are in a death race to see who's worse. It's the two of them and that's that. Indiana is clearly tanking. They can not admit that, but they had so many injuries to start the season combined with Halliburton that I think they have one, they own their own pick. They're not going to be a playoff team. Even if they made the plan, who cares? And the way they started the season, like, what's the point of this? So, you know, I think, you'll see them trade math and I think you'll see guys start getting mystery injuries there.

But those three are pretty much guaranteed to be worse than the Celtics in any scenario you want to come up with. So then if you go, all right, Charlotte, as I'm recording this on a Monday, Charlotte is 4 and 9. You never know when Lamello's going to play. I actually like the base they have, but Brandon Miller has missed a bunch of games and it's probably too late for them to do anything. So those are four teams, right? And then after that, you have, the Celtics could potentially be the fifth team. That could be, though, we don't care about the playing or the playoffs. But if Tatum's coming back and you're kind of hanging around,

I don't understand the point of tanking to get like the ninth or tenth pick. Because even though this is a good draft, I just don't personally understand it. So I would be a little more proactive. And the thing I was thinking, so they have this Anthony Simon's contract. He makes like 27.5 million. I actually like Simons. I don't think Missoua likes him. Simons had in Orlando a week from Sunday, he had 25 points in the first half.

And then in the three and a half game since he scored 23. And he played 11 minutes on Sunday. And basically he got benched. But I do think he's something. And the team that really needs him more than anyone else is the Clippers, who I saw in person on Wednesday. And, you know, they thought, Kauai, you just never know, he's going to play. He's hurt and who knows when he's coming back. And then they traded

Norm Powell because he was about to, you know, he was going into his extension year. They would have to decide on it. They didn't want to pay him. So they trade them and they get John Collins back and then decide that they'll sign Bradley Beale and Bradley Beal will be the Norm Powell and Bradley Bill gets hurt in like two days. And by the way, his career was probably over two years ago. They need a second score. They're in a lot of trouble. They don't have their pick, which is the biggest NBA crisis right now is that OKC has the Clippers first round pick. And if you look at it right now, the Clippers are 11th in the West. And Sacramento and New Orleans are always going to be lower than them. I think Memphis will be too and Utah

will be probably. But the Clippers are not a top 10 team in the West. So they really need a score. They really need to do something. And as weird as it sounds, they actually really need somebody like Simons. Their offense is so hard independent that Simons is kind of perfect for them. They have Bogdan or, yeah, Bogdanovish. I can't remember which Bogdanovich is which. They have Bogdanovich. She's in expiring. They have Derek Jones who makes like 10 million a year for this year and next. So the salaries obviously add up for a Simons trade for the Celtics, but I would get friscier than that. Here's my fake trade. Picasso's in the studio for this one. Clippers get Anthony Simons and Sadiq Bay from New Orleans.

The Pelicans get Bogdanovich's expiring plus Derek Jones. The Celtics get Trey Murphy. The Pelicans from the Celtics get the Celtics first pick this year, which might be a lottery pick, might be a high lottery pick if it's in the lottery. They get the right to grab. The Celtics have a swap with the Spurs in 2028. So the Pelicans, whichever pick the Celtics end up with in that swap, Pelicans would get that.

And then the Boston's unprotected 2031 pick for Trey Murphy, who's on a great contract, who I think is a really good player, who has been in the worst possible situation in New Orleans from the time he got there. That's the most poorly run organization in the league. They, for some reason, wouldn't sign him to an extension year ago. He ends up getting hurt after he gets the extension. the perfect prototypical mid-20s NBA player, 40% three-point shooter, maybe even better, knows how to play what to do,

underrated asset because he's been on New Orleans. So we've never even really seen him in the right situation. And if you're the Celtics, if you could do whatever it took to turn Simons into Trey Murphy and spend some picks and then have the foundation of White and Pritchard and Tatum and Brown and Trey Murphy, and Kada, who's kind of turned into something here,

and, you know, random big dudes and then look at Frayette, like that's, you've rebooted. So that would be my dream. Probably won't happen. Dumars probably won't do it just because I suggested it. Next question's from Wade Hacker. Is it too early to start calling Jada Daniels RG4? It's 100% too early,

and I would encourage you not to make this joke around Washington fans. This is from John R. Of all your pop culture references, there's nothing I felt more connected to than your love and adoration of Betty Murphy. What are your thoughts on the new Netflix stock being Eddie? There's no one I'd rather hear a review than you. Thank you.

I wrote a huge, long, giant piece for Grantland about Eddie in 2012. That was one of my favorite things that I've written. He said, I know your celebrity interviews have become less frequent. That's probably going to change in 26. but I'd love to know if you've ever had him on a podcast if you've ever

have him on a podcast as a guest if you've ever tried to get him why hasn't he been done I'd love nothing more to listen to it

make it happen thanks Eddie I don't know if he'd be the number one person all time I'd want on my podcast

but he's shortless first wave if he ever want to do it I'd love it he doesn't really do stuff like that

I haven't really seen him do really anything he'll pop like Kimmel shown you know but for the most part i would love it nothing i would have so many any questions but uh to being eddie doc i saw it um i kind of was scared to watch it because it felt like a doc commercial but i'll explain that in a second i loved it i couldn't believe how many good celebrities they had interviewed for it i loved going back into the 70s and 80s

seen some of the stand-up stuff. And if I had a note, I actually, I think it could have been multiple parts. I think you could have really, the 80s and what Eddie meant and how white everything was back then and how he became the bridge to a lot of pop culture changes as we headed into the late 80s and him and Michael Jackson, a couple others were the bridge to that. They talk about this in the dock, but to me that I could have watched way more. that and got in the background of it. And it was a little, I wrote a little bit about it when I did my big piece about Eddie, but there was this weird stretch on TV where they're just, it just got

super white and there was no explanation for it. It was like the Jefferson's Sanford's Sun was gone by then. Gary Coleman, Isaac, the bartender, the black guy in Hill Street Blues, the white shadow was canceled. Like, we just, black people just weren't represented on TV. And so Eddie, when he, when he got on SNL and started hitting, that, it wasn't. just that he's the best cast member they've ever had and probably the only person who was overqualified to be on the show pretty much immediately but um there was also nobody like him on television so it was it just felt like the most important thing especially for if you were a teenager you were you know late teens or in your 20s this was like this is this guy was everything he was our

number one so um i could have dove into that um there's this new trend right now and i think we're getting better at it. And I call it the docummercial. It's basically a documentary cross with an infomercial about somebody who participates in it, but has some sort of editorial say over it. I don't really personally like being involved in these that much. But the way to think about it is they have autobiographies and books. And these are kind of the well-done celebrity documentary versions of that. Like Beckham, I think was a good example. I thought Beckham was really good. It's basically a really well-done autobiography. Like if you think of the Agassi Autobiography, people it's the documentaries are are kind of staring more and more toward that principle the catch is when

you know it just becomes an infomercial and that's when uh that's when it gets really hard but i didn't feel like the eddie thing was an infomercial who was obviously super involved um you know there's things they didn't touch but uh for the most part i thought it was worth watching if you like eddie at all i don't understand why you wouldn't like that movie um okay This is from J.D. So we went from John R. to J.D. He said, It appears Miles Turner and A.D. Mitchell are locked in his spirited battle for this year's Mike Pence Award,

given to the person the state of Indiana was not sad to lose. Past recipients include Victor Oladipo and suicide cult leader Jim Jones. JD was going for it. So I always think this is interesting when this happened because I think Indiana fans like Miles Turner. But I also got the feeling they weren't devastated to see him go, which I think is a really fun random list. I would call it the glass half empty guys. Flawed stars that you like that bring way more to the table than they take off.

But the more you're with them, you start concentrating on the stuff they take off the table and you just start seeing all their warts instead of their strength. So if I had to name this after anybody, I would call this Antoine Walker syndrome because I loved to Anton Walker, but by 2003, became convinced this was a losing player. And then they traded back for him in 2005. And I kind of got amnesia for all the things I didn't like about Anton Walker. And they made a little playoffron with him. It was the same thing. It was like, oh, yeah, I forgot. These guys that you love, that their hearts in the right place, but they kind of drive you crazy, Marcus Smart is the best example of the last 10 years. I was ready for Marcus Smart to go

and talked about that in the podcast, but loved him, appreciated him. It was great. But I just kind of watched them for too long. Derek Lowe was a great one in the Red Sox. Drew Bledsoe definitely got there for the Patriots. And then I was trying to think of guys in the future who might be like this. And it's definitely Raphaelah for the Red Sox and Christian Gonzalez for the Patriots, who has a chance to be the best cornerback in the league, but those three things a game that drive me crazy. And I think five years from now, I'm going nuts about this. But anyway, those are my guys. All right, let's take. We'll take one more break and then we'll hit the rest of the mailback.

All right, more mailbag. This is from Connor B. You always say how if you were a GM, you would have already traded for so-and-so and parentheses Bill Simmons' voice. Does this mean I have to do my own voice? Bill Simmons voice, he'd already be on my team. But you always seem to say this after the trade when the player is succeeding in his new dig. So put your money where your mouth is.

What five guys are you going after in the NBA? Well, too late for Ryan Rollins. I loved Ryan Rollins and then Milwaukee just said yeah we like them too and gave them a great contract I'll give you six guys I really like and maybe I'll add to this list

I used to when I wrote when my fingers worked I used to in my MBA column near the end of the year I would have the Bill Simmons All-Stars for guys that I inexplicably liked that I didn't feel like got any buzz

and this was way less people I'd league pass back then guys I like two on Atlanta I like Guy A however you say his name G-U-E-Y-E-G-E-G-A I think that's how you pronounce it. He was

like bouncing around the last couple years. Then all of a sudden this year you watch him and it's like, yeah, like Guy A. And then Cretche, the other guy in the Hawks, he's a shooter who I really enjoy his work too. He had a game the other day where he just kind of went nuts. But he's like exactly the type of shooter you want, like a streak

he checks shooter. So I like those two. Keda and the Celtics, I get to watch every day. I've liked Cata for multiple years. He's actually my daughter's favorite non-star Celtic really since she was living in Boston two years ago and kind of would intermittently play, not play, he'd be in the G-League, but you'd always watch him go,

is he, is there a difference between Ceda and D'Andre Aiton? Because I don't feel like there is. Like, what is the difference? And then he's actually playing this year, and he's been a revelation and huge plus-minus. So he's probably actually ineligible for this list now. Quentin Jackson on the Pacers, I like. he's a guard. You'll see him a lot

as they start tanking. I've always like Jordan Goodwin. The sun's ended up with him. I thought it was smart because the Lakers would rather have Bonnie James and Jordan Goodwin. And then Naquan Tomlin I think is the number one for this. I don't know where this guy came

from. Every time I watch the Cavs, I'm always like, what's going out with this guy? I really like Naquan Tomlin. So that would be my five plus Keda. Next question. is from Andrew's spots. Do Wembe and Castle have the potential

to be the best defensive pair ever? Who holds the title? Settle down, Andrew. Honorable mention, I would go Duncan and Bowen, Rodman and Robinson, Rodman and Dumars, Drew and Janice, Draymond and Aguadala,

the Bush and Frazier, and the Wallace is in Detroit. And I think there are only two actual answers for this question. One is Bill Russell and Casey Jones, who Casey Jones was the most famous defensive guard of his era, and Bill Russell was the greatest defensive player

in the history of any professional sport and won 11 titles in 13 years. So, yeah, let's mention him. And then Jordan and Pippin, there's two versions of Jordan and Pippin and both of them were out of control. The year after they won their first title, when they were like two Dobermans was crazy.

But then after Jordan came back from baseball, the first full season back when they won the 72, those two guys, they really knew each other. And they were just, I talked to Tim Legger about this on my podcast two weeks ago. just out of control. When they just decided to shut teams down and take out guards

and do whatever they want to do, they just did it. So I think it has to be those two pairs. Jordan Pippen, when you throw the Rodman piece, that might have the edge. But that's it. That's the bar.

And Wemby and Castle, Castle would have to be, he'd have to go up seven other levels before I'm ready to have that conversation, as great as Wembe is. This next question, from Joe O. Didn't include his last name.

It's just Joe O. What's the fun of your movie death? The woman on the boat in Jaws 2, panics dumps gasoline on herself and accidentally blows up the boat or poor Ben Trammer and Halloween 2 getting obliterated by a speeding cop car and exploding like a Michael Myers decoy gone wrong.

Follow up. If you had to pick up your own movie-style demise between those two, spontaneous boat explosion or mistaken identity fireball, which way are you going out? So we covered both of these in the rewatchables in the last six months. And we were just laughing just a couple weeks ago about how funny that Bryn Tramers seen is. He's basically this poor kid who makes the mistake of wearing a Michael Myers mask.

They see him. Cops start chasing him. He gets hit by a car driven into a white van that blows up. And he just blows up and burns to death. And meanwhile, it's a mistaken identity. And then the cops, it's like, it's not him. They just kind of run off. But I think the, uh, the Jaws 2 lady is funnier because,

She thought pouring gasoline on an attacking shark and then I guess trying to blow it up would not blow her up too. And the way she's, that's great. I think the worst death is just being left in your Halloween costume to burn to death by two people who then drive away, I think would be worse. I have, if we were doing a Mount Rushmore movie deaths, I would include those two. I would also include Henry Thomas dying in Legend of the Fall, which I just watched.

I mentioned earlier. It's a drama that's now comedy. There's a scene where he's in a war in Brad Pitt's his brother, and Brad Pitt sees him in the distance running for him and sees a shooter about to shoot him and starts running, and everything's in slow motion. And it's the kind of thing like in the 90s made perfect sense, but by the 2000s they're making fun of it,

movies like Tropic Thunder. he's running in slow motion cut to the guy cocking the rifle in slow motion and then Henry Thomas getting shot and he does the full Jesus death and he's like and then it cuts to Brad Pitt

who's like no running and then it goes back to Henry Thomas it's like just taking it it's fucking hilarious I would put that in there but I think the funniest

death scene ever because I think you have to include the entire scene leading to the death is Stephen Weber in single white female, which is an awesome, awesome, really weird movie. And it's Bridget Fonda, her roommate Jennifer Jason Lee. And Jennifer Jason Lee just starts pretending to be her roommate and ends up going into Stephen Weber's hotel room pretending she's the other one. Just get the red hair

and the overcoat. It's dark. He's not really awake. And she goes in, takes off the overcoat and starts blowing him. And he doesn't really realize it's not his girlfriend until the tail end of the blowjob. And then decides, he kind of does the, fuck it. Let's just finish and we'll deal with this later. But he also doesn't want to finish. He was like, oh, oh, no. So then she looks up and it's her and he's horrified. And they started arguing.

And then she throws a high-heel shoe right in his eye and kills him. And the entire sequence is hilarious. So that would be my, those would be my four. But if you have any other suggestions, I'm happy to hear them. Send them in. Brian asks, at what point do we retire the term podcast? Nobody uses an iPad, and with the pivot to video and streaming, these are very clearly talk shows.

Not necessarily. I think we're stuck with the term. I just think we're going to morph into saying video podcasts or podcasts, depending on if it's a video show or not. But if you look at the definition of podcasts, which I looked up, a podcast is a program made available in digital format for download over the internet. So why would we change that? Maybe it'll change and just become shows. Maybe they'll, maybe because as we stopped making TV shows, maybe podcasts become shows and we

just call everything show. That's the only thing I could see. It did make me wonder, I do wonder why words die. Words that we use just kind of go away. Like we used to say taping. I would even say I'm taping a podcast. Now you wouldn't say tape because we don't tape them. We're like digitally recording them. So I should say recording a podcast. but I'm still saying taping. There are words from like the 60s and 70s and 80s, like groovy, wicked, yoked was a big one when I was in the 80s and when I was in high school.

Somebody was yoked. We don't say that anymore. Radical went away. Foxy, calling a woman Foxy, that stopped. I think the number one, though, is knapsack. And I know this because my kids constantly make fun of me because they have backpacks, they call them backpacks. And then I'll be like, hey, you know, I'll misplace my backpacks.

backpack, which I call a knapsack. I'm like, is anyone see my knapsack? And my kids just think I'm like a thousand years old. It's like, why do you keep calling it a knapsack? It's a backpack. Like nobody says the word knapsack, but we did call it a knapsack. And then for some reason, we all decided backpacks better. So maybe that happens with podcasts.

I don't know. T.J. McGlynn writes in, I've been reading your stuff since 1999 when I was at Northeastern. Thanks, TJ. I don't write anymore, but thank you. I actually proposed this hypothetical to you at your book signing at Professor Tom's in New York City back in 2010, so I'm running it back. That was a great book signing. The premise, you're a 30-year-old average player, you're somewhere around six feet tall,

you're in decent shape. You get out on a team with Yokage, Janus, Luca, and Steph. You have an average NBA bench. You'd have all training camp to practice with them. And the only two caveats, you have to play at least 30 minutes a game and you can't foul out. So I assume by saying can't file out, you could just keep fouling people, but you couldn't foul people intentionally and try to just get out of the game. You'd have to play 30 minutes. And even if you had 12 fouls, I'd have to keep you in. So TJ asks, what's his team's record? He thinks he'd say at best 38 and 44. So I was thinking about this, even if it take me 30, even when I had my big USC pickup basketball comeback in the early 2010s.

So I fit the profile for pretty much all of this. I think it's at least a 48 win team. I know that sounds crazy, but I have Yokej, Janice, Luca, and Steph. They're four of the best 10 NBA players in the league. Yokic is the best. I'm getting all kinds of rebounds. I'm getting passing. I can outscore basically any team.

Yokhage and Steph together would be, holy shit. And I was thinking like, all right, so you're going to be wide open every game. So you're either in the right corner or the left corner in every offensive play. So they're just putting you there. And all you're doing is you just, for. practice, you're practicing nothing else other than just shooting like a thousand threes a game from the left and right corner because they're going to be open. At some point, you're probably going to have to take them.

And could you hit 30% on the wide open threes? Then maybe honest, get some rebounds. Then on defense, I think you'd have to play zone. You'd have to stay in the corner. You're only playing 30 minutes. So you might want to rig it. So maybe you play 16 minutes in the first half. and then 14 in the second, but you saved the last 10 for crunch time.

Or even if the team's down nine, now you can try to make a run in the last 10 minutes with Luca, Janice, Yokic, Steph, and some good bench player. I think that's a 48 win team. I'd like to see somebody try that. Maybe that's why they created the second apron. Next question is from Jesse McCoppen. Why are the dolphins so underrated in the tortured fan-based discussion? We haven't had a playoff win since 2002 is our best quarterback since Marino.

They were rendered irrelevant by Brady's Pats and Josh's Buffalo Bills recently. So that's basically this entire century. But my entire childhood, this was the team we had to beat. The dolphins were awesome in the 70s. They were one of the coolest teams in the 80s, even though they never won a Super Bowl. The Marino Dolphins were one of the envies of everybody. and they weren't as maybe fun or successful as people remember in the 90s.

They did make the 92 AFC title game. But I was felt like with the Dolphins because of the success in the 70s and 80s and then Marino was so iconic in the 90s and 80s, it always seemed like they mattered more than they did. So it's tough for me to think of them as completely irrelevant, even though they've been irrelevant for this entire century, which raises a different question from Patrick B.

I don't know if he knows Jesse McCoppin, who do you is the most irrelevant franchise in professional sports? They're too bad to make the playoffs, but not so bad they're topping the news with their total dysfunction. It's a team that's usually in a small market. Bonus points if their location name is generic,

Indiana, a Golden State, New England. It's a team that makes you say, oh yeah, they still exist when they're picking eighth in the draft. I'll just assume it's my Columbus Blue Jackets who are celebrated in their 26th season and only have a total of 15 franchise playoff wins. So I had no idea, which I think speaks to Patrick's case

that the answer is the Columbus Blue Jackets. I combed through all four leagues, tried to top this. The dysfunction rule that he made, that cancels out the Wizards, the Pelicans, and the Kings. The Hornets were too lousy. I don't think they matter either for this. It's really the Bulls in the NBA for the last 25 years,

but they had MJ before that, so you can't count them. In baseball, it's probably the Reds are the closest, but they even won in 1990. I don't know. NFL, it's really the Dolphins, but you can't say it because of 70s and 80s and Marino.

Titans and Cardinals, maybe the closest, but they both made Super Bowls. The Cardinals made in 08, the Titans made in 99. Titans were pretty good with Vrabble for a couple years,

too. Columbus's case is incredible. So they come in the league in 2000. They haven't made round two of the playoffs ever. They haven't made the playoffs since 2020.

They've missed the playoffs 20 of 25 times. The best blue jacket ever is Rick Nash. They've had 17 captains, Lyle O'Deline, Ray Whitney, Luke Richardson, Adam Foote, Rick Nash, Nick Fuligno, and Boone Jenner. I've never heard a single conversation about the blue jackets. Now, granted, I don't have a ton of hockey fans in my life, but I have never heard a single

combo about them. I'm not sure who the rival is. I looked this up on Google and Google said their rival, the Google AI, whatever that thing is, called their biggest rival, the Pittsburgh Penguins. And then I asked Google what the Pittsburgh Penguins biggest rival was and they suggested Philly, Washington, the Rangers of the Devils. So Columbus's biggest rival isn't even one of that team's four biggest rivals. Their saddest moment was Johnny Goodrow dying recently. That was really sad. Their weirdest moment was a backup goalie a few years ago died in an awful fireworks

accident, which I didn't know about, but it's a terrible story. Their worst draft pick in 2006, they took Gilbert Brule over Anjay Kopitar, who became probably the greatest point in the history of the Kings other than Gretzky. And apparently the Blue Jacket. I did a lot of research on this one. Apparently

the Blue Jacket fans still upset about that pick. Most exciting controversy was they hired Mike Babcock. who is already kind of not in disgrace, but controversial. And then they had to fire him before his first season because of some weird scandal where he asked players to share personal photos with them and then use the photos and some sort of something and the players got upset about it

and they just fired them. That was weird. And then their greatest win, they swept the 2019 Panthers in round one. It was the only time they made it to round two. it has to be the Columbus Blue Jackets. I can't believe how boring all that is. Unbelievable.

Anyway, that's your answer. Jared and Ohio asks, if you could take one weird thing from the old NBA and bring it into today's game, what would it be? Well, it's an easy answer. Weird-looking jump shots. I really miss from my childhood and from loving the NBA in the 80s

when people had different shooting motions and just there was just different distinct ways to shoot a basketball that feel like they're gone. The best one, Jamal Wilkes, who would start, like, near his hip and come up, and I don't even know how he did it. And it was awesome to watch in person, and he was a great shooter. And that was like, you couldn't even replicate his shot. Kareem Skyhook. Michael Adams, he shot like, he had a little.

hop step from his right shoulder, like a push shot. Sean Marion, his shot always looked, he would shoot it from here and kind of fling it up. Reggie Miller, for a great jump shooter, he had a really, really distinct jump shot, which I thought was just really cool to watch. Larry Bird had a weird one. He'd kind of shoot it like this, but it was like a cross-face shot, but, you know, one of the best ones ever. Kevin Martin, I think, was probably of the recent players, probably the last

last recent player who was a big score who had a weird shot and then I think my favorite for this other than Jamal works Vinnie Johnson

the microwave his shot just kind of came out of his neck it was like he didn't have a head and it was unblockable everything about

Vinnie Johnson can't be replicated he I don't know he had no neck he was like this little fire hydrant his shot came out he was impossible to guard

and he would just score 16 points in five minutes so that's probably what I miss the most Kenny from Brooklyn wants to know is Tass still your favorite TV show of all of 2025 or did the season premiere of Landman

unleashing Demi Moore take the honors I did watch Landman I think the winner for me for 2025 and granted there is granted there is I don't know, six weeks left, is the beast in me, which just went up on Netflix and I devoured it. I watched all eight episodes. I actually was raining so hard in LA on Saturday night that

I woke up because of the rain because I thought like a window was broken. It was just raining that hard and I couldn't fall back asleep and I'm watching two more episodes of it. I finished it on Sunday night after I did the podcast. The star, The Beast in me is Claire Daines, who's finally getting to play a conflicted, erratic, possibly crazy, neurotic person who's on the verge of melting down every episode. She's never played a character like this before. The guy from the Americans, Matthew Reese, he's in it. He's cooking. He's so good. And the guy from Breaking Bad who played Mike, one of the older guy who had ended up better call saw, that guy who initially, I know him as the guy from 48 hours who gets shot by Gans.

my iPad test when you're watching a show how much of the time are you looking at your phone or your iPad so the morning show is basically like a 99 you look at the TV like 1% of the time you're actually watching it when it's the morning show this show is a put the iPad down show it's like I don't even want to be distracted I'm so into this it's like a real old school thriller where you're like I don't know where this is going I can't wait to see what happens next it's just I really enjoyed it. And I was thinking Clear Day and Season Tickets, I still might be a season ticket older for her. And she's basically playing some variation of the same part in every show. And I'm in every time. It seems very normal in real life. But I was thinking, I was texting with Joanna Robinson and

Rob Mahoney about this because I wanted them to cover this on Prestige, on the Prestige TV podcast, excellent podcast. And I was saying how I'd been with Claire since my so-called life because she was great on that show. And I really liked that. show. But it wasn't like a typical show for a guy in his 20s to watch. And I was explaining back in when being single in the 90s, like being versed on 902 and O'NO and Melrose Place in the real world and my so-called life, which were shows I liked anyway, were great like conversation breakers with girls you want to talk to at a bar. And just being well versed and having like jokes and material about that was actually like helpful. And we were wondering,

what are those shows now that if you're in your 20s and you meet somebody at wherever, party, work, wherever, what are the end shows that a man would have to, I don't know, make some sort of connection over the show? And I don't really know the answer. It's probably prestige shows, but, you know, if you're like in high school or college, you probably have to watch Summer I Turn Pretty to be able to have jokes about it in case it ever comes up. or euphoria? I don't know. I don't know the answer. Maybe this is just specific to the 1990s. John in Portland wants to know, I'm taking bets on Nico's next job. He offers the following five. Special assistant Rob Polinka, clutch super agent, Nike Jordan sports marketing is our CEO of Mamba Inc.

and VP GM Adidas basketball. All decent choices. He's gone. He has to leave the country. I think he gets involved in NBA Europe. I think would be the next move for Nico. I don't think it could be anything in the United States of America. Kyle Wilcher and Hendersonville, Tennessee, Pennsylvania, I almost created a state. He wonders why we haven't inducted the first class of the Bill Simmons Podcast Hall of Fame yet. He said develop a criteria, create a panel of service voters, include the audience in the process, pre-record all the announcement induction episodes, run them in July when we're on vacation. Imagine CR knocking on close from its door to present him with a 33 Larry Bird jersey.

as a first bout, Bill Simmons Podcasts Hallfamer. Then you sit down with Chuck and have a retrospective career. Pot about his career on your show would be so great. Just a thought, I enjoy the show. That's from Kyle and Henderson, Bill, Tennessee. We'd probably spend most of the time talking about Chuck's controversial Nico take that really, really made people in Dallas mad, but I loved it. I'm trying to think if there's been a lower stakes hall of fame,

but I'm not necessarily against us. I think it would be two people a year. And I think as the years passed, we'd have to leave somebody out to kind of a Pete Rose type controversy going. I think it would be Sal. First, because Sal would do this if it was somebody else just to torture them. But also, like you could say,

because Sal is my co-host on the infamous podcast in September of 2014, when I said too much about Goodell and ended up getting suspended and just open a can of worms. Like, Sal got blamed for that. It's a little like bonds and the steroids. And is he going to get in?

Can he shake that podcast off him? I don't know. Maybe I can start the Hall of Fame in one of the future mailbags. Okay, we're heading down the home stretch here. Sumo wrestlers must win consecutive tournaments to reach Yokazuno status. That's from Craig in Nishinoma, Japan. How would that work in the NBA? I think players would need multiple championships and our MVPs to be considered.

In Sumo, there can only be two or three NBA Yoko Zunos at the same time. And once they're out, they can't reach that status again. So who are the NBA Yoko Zunos in the history of the week? This is interesting. So you'd have to win back to back, two MVPs in a row, maybe two MVPs and a championship. So I think it's Mikean, Bill Russell, Will, Kareem, Bird, Magic, Isaiah. I think Isaiah qualifies the Pistons won two in a row. Jordan, Hakeem, Shaq, Duncan.

Nash won two MVPs, by this definition, I think he's in. Kobe Bryant, LeBron James, Steph Curry, Kevin. Darren, Janice, Yokage, and probably SGA right now, as we'd be talking about, could he be a Yokozuna? I like this idea. This is like, it's a little like the pantheon. It's like with a distorted definition of it, but I like the Yocuzina idea. Brad and Chicago wants to know with his recent passing, do you have any final thoughts on the life and career of Michael Ray Richardson? I actually do.

Thank you for asking Brad in Chicago. I think he's the single most talented guard to fuck his career up in NBA history. It's either him or John Lucas in the finals. I think he was slightly better than John Lucas. His second year, 1980, Bird of Magic's Worky Year, led the league in assistant steals. He was the perfect Nick for the late 70s, early 80s, NBA cocaine era.

Cool as hell, really talented, fun to watch. Had an awesome, awesome, awesome Nike poster that I can't believe is in my studio. And was probably the most likely guy to put up a triple-double and then go to studio 54 until 5 in the morning. He was involved in the best 80s drug guy trade ever. The Knicks signed Bernard King as a free agent. He had a ton of problems at Utah and Golden State.

And they signed Bernard King, traded Michael Ray to him as compensation to Golden State. I wrote in my book, this was like Marbury for Kidd only with the Russian-relate aspect of each guy has battled serious coke alcohol problems and we'll either make or break our franchise. So the Warriors got broken. They had to trade him for Sleepy Floyd four months later. and Bernard Kane became an iconic Knicks. So the Knicks won that one. But Michael Ray goes to the Nets in 84. In round one, they're playing the Sixers

who had Moses, Dr. Jay and Mocheeks, Andrew Tony, Bobby Jones. They had just had one of the greatest seasons of all time won the title, and they beat them in five games. And it was mainly because how good Michael Ray was. In 85, the year later, he was at 28 and 6 for the Nets,

played 82 games, led the league in steals, and then became one of the first kicked out of the league guys. and Stern cracked down on the cocaine stuff. But I wrote in 2010 how I wanted a comment section in the Hall of Fame that just this one section you go and it's all the guys who had the potential to be great and just didn't pull it off

because they either had drugs, injuries, some sort of bad break, a tragic death, whatever it was. So I had, 2010, I had, Mike Roy Richardson as the first guy in this, Andrew Tony, Penny Hardaway, James Silas, Marvin Barnes, Gus Johnson, Ralph Sampson, Brad Doherty, Morris Stokes, John Lucas, San Buoy, Terry Cummings, Roy Tarpley, Reggie Lewis, Gran Hill, Alonzo Morning, Drozin, Petrovich, and Tim Hardaway. Those were the 18. You would 100% add Derek Rose to that. You wouldn't add Yao Min because I think he's in the Hall of Fame anyway. I think you'd add Brandon Murray, because I love Brandon Murray and his knees just couldn't hold up. You might add Ben Simmons. Not my Ben Simmons. other Ben Simmons. I think he's in. I think he's in the Comet Hall of Fame section. The guy

in 17, 18 and 19, like there was times when he looked like LeBron in the open court. He was a first team all defense guy. He could absolutely be the second best guy in a team that could win a title. And there was kind of nobody else like him in the league. And then that Hawk series, when they started intentionally fouling and broke his brain, I think he's in. So I would have 21 and then we'll leave two spots open for Zion and Jha. Sean from New Jersey wants to know who would you pick the star in the sports drama about the NBA gambling scandal?

My pick is Jean-Carlo Esposito as Chauncey Billups. So I only have four so far. I have Denzel as Tronzie Billups. I think we need some star power. I have Marlon Wayans as Damon Jones. That's easy. Jarrell Jerome is Terry Rozier. Big step up for Jarrell.

And I think Michael Imperiali is the head of the mafia. Whatever mafia is involved in this, I think he's involved. And then after that, I'm not sure. I'm not sure who plays Adam Silver to think about that. Maybe it's Corey Stahl. Could he do an Adam Silver? We'll find out. The more we know about this story, we'll have to keep adding cast members.

Okay, we're really in the home stretch now. Ben from Chicago says, We need a conspiracy Bill Simmons podcast. I, for one, love when Bill goes in conspiracy mode. I can't imagine I'm the only one out there. First episode, did Adam Silver force the Luca trade on Nico Harrison? Silver says, okay, Nico, this is what's going to happen. You're going to either trade Luca to the Lakers now.

We're going to get them there in a few years. You'll get nothing for him. However, if you trade them right now, we'll get you AD and Cooper Flag. Hold that thought. This next question is from Shane. was the Luca trade orchestrated by the league to pump up the valuation of Lakers before the sale?

Ooh, did the NBA say to Dallas, don't worry, we'll compensate you with the first overall pick. Also, did Cuban sell the team because the league told him they need Luca and the Lakers and he didn't want to be a part of it? What are your thoughts?

Woo! Conspiracy bill is here. Regular bill does not think any of this happened because not only would be illegal, I think it would be consumer fraud and Adam Silver and Mark Cuban and the DeMont Famer, I'll go to jail.

So I just wanted to make it. mention that. I genuinely think this is what happened. Luke had been with the Mavericks since he was like 18. It was his first job. I think they slowly came to think he was an entitled dick in that he wasn't going to stay in shape. And it's a little like what I talked about earlier with Antoine Walker syndrome. The more time they spent with them, the more they just started seeing the glass half empty stuff, not the glass half full stuff. He screwed up in the 24 finals when he fouled out of game three and acted pretty petulant afterwards and didn't really play well in general. And I think that left a bad taste in everyone's mouth and they overacted to that.

Didn't think about the first three rounds, thought about the last one. I think Kid who has blood all over him in this, all over him, because there's no way they make this trade without Jason kid. There's just no way. And I think he probably bitched about Luca's defense all the time and complain to Nico about him constantly. And then Nico, who was obsessed with Kobe, who had the Kobe work ethic thing in his head, and he's just like obsessing with how different Luca was than Kobe, and the two of them are just making each other crazy. Then you have Nico has an irrational love for Anthony Davis. He has a rational GM confidence after the Kyrie trade that worked out. I thought the Kyrie trade was a disaster. It's like, what are you guys doing? Your trade

for Kyrie Irving? You're nuts? And then it works out. Patrick Dumont, obviously, maybe not a buffoon, but a sports buffoon. Didn't really seem like he knows that much about basketball. basketball and made the mistake of like, well, I delegate with my employees. So if they tell me this is what we should all do, but he did sign off on this trade. Let's, but let's, let's be fair. Nico was an acting rogue. The guy at some point had to sign off on it. So kid did this after the trade didn't work out. Dumont did this and everything got blamed on Nico. I don't think that's fair, even though it was his fault. I think Nico had the idea. Kid loved it and they pulled one over on Dumont.

And here's the important thing. I think Nico, I think he genuinely thought if they did this trade, they're going to win the 25 title. I think he thought they could beat Oklahoma City if they did this. If they added Davis, they were really big that they could throw whatever against OKC, Kyrie, Anthony Davis, all of these role players, defense guys. And he said, fuck it. He's like, we're going to win the title if we did this because that's what you do when

you have a rational confidence. And I think that's what happened. but we do have to include conspiracy bill. This did inspire me to come up with conspiracy bills, NBA conspiracy scale on a scale of 1 to 10, with one being the lowest level type of conspiracy and 10 being the biggest. Number one, Stern leaking the FBI's Donahey investigation to the New York Post, so this started blow up before they kept working on it and may or may not have found out if any other refs were involved.

That definitely happened. That's not even a conspiracy. I think he did leak it. So that's one. A two, really, I don't think this happened, but it's a fun one. The league made David Kahn when he was the Minnesota Timberlub's GM, pass on Curry two times in a row, so we'd end up in either Golden State or New York in a bigger market.

Again, I don't think this happened, but it's a great conspiracy theory. And by the way, David Kahn did work for Proskauer Rose after law school, big law firm. You know who was like the biggest pro-scarer Rose guy ever? David Stern before he became NBA commissioner. Yeah. Conspiracy bill is in the house. The 2006 pro Miami Heat finals officiating being a huge fuck you to Cuban for all the stuff he was doing

and try to make the league better. Now we're starting to get into the 2011 and 2012 lottery is being rigged. I don't think they could rig a lottery, but these are the two most suspicious ones to me. 2011 Cleveland wins with the Clippers pick, which wasn't even one of the top seven picks

the year after LeBron leaves. And then 2012, New Orleans finally sells the team after the league owns it. The league owns it sells it. The defensive family buys it, and then they win the number one pick. So I'm just mentioning those. I would say the Luca Lakers conspiracy

is a five out of ten. So again, I don't, these first five, but, you know, they're for really conspiracy corner is not actual reality. Number six, Stern pushed a Seattle sale to OKC businessman knowing he would move the team because he wanted Seattle to stay empty as a potential leverage city, either to draw teams that would relocate or to point to teams that wouldn't build new arenas where he could

say, see, see what happened to Seattle, you could be next. Actually, kind of believed that one. A seven out of ten, Draymond's suspension gets upheld in the 2017. 16 final, so LeBron could have a chance to come back with the Cavs. That's one of those proof to me that didn't happen. 8 out of 10, 2001 Bucksixer series and game 6 of the 2002 Kingslaker series. Yeah. 9 out of 10, Jordan suspended in 1993, and he's suspended for a whole year and comes back

with 20 games to go in the next season. It's just never added up. I've talked about it a million times, how the most competitive guy of all time could be like, yeah, I think I've competed enough. It's never added up. And then 10 out of 10 is the frozen envelope in the 1984 lottery,

which I've broken down over and over again, where they put seven envelopes in this bin. Stern went around. He felt down, miraculously picked out the Knicks envelope, and the rest was history. And people thought that they made that envelope super cold so that he would know not to pick that one. That is the best NBA conspiracy of all time.

I don't think any of these 10 actually happened, but if you go from unbelievable to, yeah, I could see that one. The frozen envelope is still the best one. So thank you, Conspiracy Bill, and thank you to the people who brought him in. And then Crazy Carl writes in another question for conspiracy bill, do we think that Livy Dunn is dating Skeens for his future money? No one can accuse him of because she started dating him when they were at LSU. So maybe Skeens is the winner in this transaction.

because she's worth it any price because she's wicked hot. P.S. I'm not sexist. PPS. The reason I'm not sexist is because I think that guys can be gold diggers too. I'm worried that Zoe's new guy, Hank, might be trying the same move on Zoe. As the heirs to the BS kingdom, she probably has guys coming at her for the wrong reason. Let me know if you want me to get Big Dom, Albanian George, ham from the town and we'll put a tail on Hank. We'll report back soon. Just answer any call if it's from unknown caller. That's from Crazy Carl. Yep, these are my listeners. Thanks to everybody who sent mailback questions.

You can send them to BS Podcast 33 at gmail.com. Thanks to Gahau and Eduardo as well, and I will see you on Thursday. I think Zach Lowe's coming on on Thursday, and we're going to do some football picks as well. So enjoy the first part of the week. Must be 21 plus in president select states for Kansas in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino or 18 plus in president in D.C., Kentucky, or Wyoming. Gaming problem, call 100 gambler or visit RG dashhelp.com. Call 88879-7777 or visit ccpg.org slash chat in Connecticut or MD gamblinghelp.org in Maryland.

Hope is here. Visit gambling helplinema.m.org. Or call 800, 327-50-50 for 24-7 support in Massachusetts. said so call 877 8 HOPE NY or text HOPE NY in New York.