The Bill Simmons Podcast - The NFL Is Back! Guess the Lines Week 1 With Cousin Sal | The Bill Simmons Podcast

Episode Date: September 3, 2019

HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons and Cousin Sal continue the age-old tradition of guessing the NFL lines before each weekend's slate of games; Get ready for Week 1! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tonight's very special edition of the BS Podcast on The Ringer. Podcast Network is brought to you, as always, by ZipRecruiter. Hiring can be a slow process. Cafe El Torres, Dylan Miskiewicz needed to hire a director of coffee, went to ZipRecruiter.com, posted his job, found the best person for the role in just a few days. With results like that, it's no wonder four to five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day. Right now, you could try ZipRecruiter for free at ZipRecruiter.com slash BS. ZipRecruiter is the smartest way to hire. Meanwhile, we've all made some bad choices in life.

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We're also brought to you by the ringer.com where yet again, a major sports event happened on a Saturday and we had to like round in action. This time the Texans just lost their minds. We're going to talk about this with Sal in a second. The ringer podcast network as well, where you can find NFL content like the Ringer NFL show, Kevin Mays, Robert Clark, Robert Mays, Kevin Clark, Robert Mays and Kevin Clark. Did I really say Kevin Mays and Robert Clark?

In front of my own eyes. Don't even take that out. I'm turning 50 this month. Get used to this, America. I'm going to keep screwing up names, as well as the Danny C Football Show and a whole bunch of other stuff. Oh, Ryan Rosillo. He started with The Ringer full-time this week. We turned the Dual Thread podcast into the Ryan Rosillo podcast. That's what it's called. You can go check it out. Resubscribe if you've already subscribed congratulations you're a smart person

he's going to be doing three podcasts a week speaking of podcasts the rewatchables we put it up Sunday night yesterday Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid 50th anniversary me Sean Fantasy Aaron Sorkin

the legend yeah he came on and talked about his favorite movie written by our friend Bill Goldman. And this was a rewatchables unlike anyone we've done. It should be taught in all film schools because Sorkin was just out of control. He was so good. And I learned a lot, I gotta say.

I learned the most in this podcast of any rewatchables that we've done. So that's good. Check that out. Coming up, the Cuz, Guest Aligns, season 13. Can't believe it. Here we go. First, our friends from Pearl Jam. All right, the Cuz is here. We're taping this 5.30 PT on Labor Day, and you've already got in. You did a whole hour of TV on FS1. I don't like when you've been,

like I'm getting sloppy seconds from you basically for content. It bothers me. I just wanted to put that out there early. I asked for the day off. They gave Coward the day off. I don't understand. I don't understand the hierarchy over there at all.

Who's watching sports talking head television on Labor Day? Just out of curiosity. You should have said that to your bosses. They claim the 4th of July, Christmas Eve, all these days we work, they claim those are our biggest numbers and no one ever checks up on it. So I guess we should. Well, I will say I ended up watching like the last 20 minutes of the show. So maybe they're right before Zoe and I settled into sleeping with the enemy. That was good.

Oh, that's a better choice. I prepared for the podcast while I watched that. So we had some excitement. As usual, as it goes with the ringers, something relatively major happened on a Saturday. The Texans lost their minds. They trade Clowney for what just seemed to be a mere pittance. I guess they didn't have much leverage because stupidly they had told him, we're going to try to trade you, which immediately reduced his options. He didn't have to sign the tender. So they were working with no chips whatsoever.

And then they traded. I'm sorry. Then when they say we're going to trade you, he gets to choose which teams, right? So he wasn't ever going to the Dolphins like we may have thought last week. Yeah, you know why wasn't ever going to the Dolphins like we may have thought last week. Yeah, you know why he wasn't going to the Dolphins? Because the Dolphins are tanking, which we found out like two hours later

when they traded their left tackle, who they picked only three years ago. Right. For two firsts and a second, a staggering price. And they got Kenny Stills out of there too who was fusing with the owner Houston's crazy the way they spend money I think you mentioned it but honestly they were like

Lil Wayne throwing his brother a bachelor party just making it rain all over the NFL I saw Coward had a tweet where he was like whatever they paid you can't deny the texans are better than they were 24 hours ago it's like well that technically that's true they just won't have a draft next year yeah i mean that seems relatively important but this is

we see this happen in sports all the time it really bothers me i always call it out when it happens when you have a coach or a GM who is basically in that mode of, well, I'm not going to be here anyway, if this doesn't work out. So what do I care? You know, Bill O'Brien, they don't have a GM. He's the acting GM, which is always a disaster when the coach is the acting GM and he doesn't care about next year. He just wants to go. If he goes 11 and five or 12 and four, then, you know, then he'll be around anyway. If they don't do well, he's going to get blamed. He'll get fired.

So I just thought it was such a dumb trade. The whole thing, nobody was ever able to explain to me why they didn't just keep Clowney. What was their urgency to trade him for really nothing? I think they would have lost those supplements. They wouldn't have had those picks. They would have at most gotten a third for him, and that was what they said. But to split the salary, that was the big thing,

to split the salary with Seattle, the $13 million. They pay $7 million or they pay $6 million out of the $13 million. That's what was crazy. But I think what we're seeing is kind of like of like, I hate to bring up the NBA, and I broke my own over-under record about mentioning it, but could it be like the Texans are the new Cowboys and the Clippers are the new Lakers and we know the Nets are the new Knicks?

Is it just a kind of weird cycle we're in right now? Like a body switch thing? Yeah, yeah. Well, I still don't understand why they had to trade him this weekend. Couldn't they have just kept them? The third round pick, you're not doing worse than that

for any clowning trade. So can't you keep him for a week, two weeks? Maybe the edge rusher on a contender gets hurt and there's a panic situation or you just don't know. It just felt like they wanted to move on and keep it going. And maybe they couldn't make the Miami deal without... I don't know. I was't know. It just felt like they wanted to move on and keep it going. And maybe they couldn't make the Miami deal without the, I don't know.

I was trying to see how one affects the other, but it doesn't seem like that was the case. I loved how Kenny Stills was being thrown into this. Like this was also a major chess piece. If you read the articles leading up to the weekend, it was a possibility he was going to get cut. And it's not like he, you know, was like a multi-year opera or anything.

I mean, he was just like a speed guy who's there's like 20 of him. Yeah. This is the fantasy trade where I give you three for one and you're definitely cutting two of the three, right? You give me three. The dolphins. So we did the over under pod last week. The dolphins over under was four and a half.

And I think I still went under. Yeah. Yeah, you did. You said, you said they were going to be the worst. And I kind of like, I don't understand why more teams don't do this in football.

They were going to be terrible anyway. Why not just be really, really terrible. You have these quarterbacks that are common the next couple of years in the draft. Even I know who some of these quarterbacks are. Why not? What's the difference between going 4-12 or 5-11 and 1-15?

Because you're still going to be terrible. You're still going to suck. Why don't teams do this more? Yeah, no, I agree. Just the question was, are they going to draft one of those quarterbacks? Are they going to live or die with Rosen or Fitzmagic or whatever? And now the answer we know is yes, they're definitely going to draft one of those quarterbacks? Are they going to live or die with Rosen or Fitzmagic or whatever? And now the answer we know is yes, they're definitely going to draft a new quarterback.

But I do feel bad for Flores. I do. Don't you feel like some coaches should have like a red shirt year? Like, hey, this doesn't affect my eligibility for coach. You know, like I can't. Why is this going to count against me when the front office isn't even trying for me? It was like the guy on the 76ers, Brett Brown, whose career record now is reflected with the process.

The first three years when they could have given a shit if they ever won a game. Right. Yeah. And now his career record is just damaged forever. Yeah. It does feel like there should be an asterisk or something. I thought he was going to be a really good head coach and now we're not going to know for, you know, at least a year, but did it change? We already loved the Pats and the AFC East and now that's two free wins, but did it change

how you felt about the Jets or the Bills maybe coming out of there as a nine and seven team? I got to say, I know a few Jets fans. I don't want to rattle them off because I don't want to embarrass them. They're in the closet. But those Jets fans, they're not too shy about telling you that they think they might be a little sleepery. Now, they shit on it. They do the whole thing where it's like, look, obviously we suck. We're terrible. We drafted a third rounder that we waived four months later. We're the Jets. We're awful. But let me tell you something. Don't count us out.

The Jets fans are just broken mentally. They're all over the map. But they really do kind of believe in this Jets team a little bit. Are you sensing that? A little, a tiny bit. I think we both had, I had the Jets and Bills both going eight and eight. Maybe you're right. Maybe this does move it a slight, a tick up to nine and seven or something. But yeah, the Jets, you don't know. First of all, they play the Bills both going 8-8. Maybe you're right. Maybe this does move it a slight, a tick up to 9-7 or something.

But, yeah, the Jets, you don't know. First of all, they play the Bills this week, so that's a big game. They're home for that. Secondly, I was going to say, well, we'll learn a lot from this first game. No, I don't think we will because the Jets beat the Lions on Monday night last year in the first game, and then Darnold threw like a pick-sit. Like, they are all over the place. You are just in for an emotional roller coaster

throughout the year and throughout the decade with the Jets. And I don't see that changing. I don't know. Maybe they're eight and seven going into the last game. I have my pick for the don't get too carried away by the result of this week one game game. Because we have one every year. And there's a really glaring candidate that uh just remind me

to bring that up okay when we're at that point but the jets bills game you know one of those teams might go nine and seven you're getting now two free wins with miami so at that point you just have to go 500 the west of the way right for sure and yeah. Yeah. The Jets haven't won in Gillette, what are we saying? 12 years? So, I mean, they just have to take care of business. It's just hard when you don't see the Patriots losing to anyone in that division, except on a fluke four lateral play at the end or something. You're on a gambling show where you talk about gambling an hour a day. Yeah. You are writing a book about gambling. You're obsessed with gambling and you have, I would say somewhere between 25 and 30 people in your life who just text you

constantly about bets and over-unders and things they're thinking about. What do you think is the most bean wagony 2019 NFL gambling thing right now? NFL gambling, the team? Well, the Browns for sure. I mean, the Browns, so the most money bet on a team are the Browns, the Chiefs, and the Giants and the Eagles. And that's pretty much across the board in all the casinos

and sports books in Nevada and New Jersey. Giants are just going to take, because one of the big states is New Jersey, they're just going to take a lot of money. Um, you mean people betting against them?

Eagles. I could see making sense, but this Brown's train's got to slow down just a bit. Right. Right. Just a little bit. I don't think I've ever seen anything like it. And you're going to see it. We have our fantasy draft on Tuesday night.

Yeah. I, as always, I'd be, I'll be happy to be voted out. Oh, stop it. I'll have my car keys in my hand as we're doing the whole process, just waiting, hoping this is the year. I'm relieved of my pain. But I'm sure all the Browns are going to go, like collectively, Beckham, Baker, Chubb, and Landry,

I would guess would go for what? A combined 130, 140? That's a good over-under. Something like that? That's a good number. Let me ask you this. How much is it going to hurt your feelings when Baker goes for like $15 more than Brady? Well, I mean, Tom Brady, six Super Bowl rings and he's 42 years old.

I think he's just honored to be in the discussion. It hurts me more that Belichick knew Baker was going to be great and really did try to trade up for him and had a trade to get to the second pick, and then he ended up going first. Well, you could screw up one draft pick every 15 years. The Patriots? Yeah.

What are you talking about? Our first-round pick is on the IR. Our second-round pick from last year never put Duke Dawson, never played a game. They traded him for a sixth-round pick. I feel terrible. I feel terrible. I didn't realize it.

I take it all back. Belichick somehow has better luck than undrafted free agents than second-round picks. I don't fully understand. Can I just say something? I get a lot of shit on Twitter like, hey, why don't you give Bill some crap about the Patriots? You never stand up to him about the Patriots.

Like, well, I feel, I feel like I do. I feel like I, I, you know, I, I try last week when we did the over under wins, I try to sneak in that the tight end that they just signed to suspended for PED, uh, the Chung arrest. I try to go after you with that. I'll throw in a cheating joke every now and then, but guess what? The Patriots are great. There's not a lot I can say that you're just going to brush off, you know,

because you get to win every year or you're in the big game every year. Like, I don't know. I don't understand what this is. This is like saying, hey, make fun of the Colombians because they think they export the most coffee. I don't understand what I'm supposed to do with you. I really don't. This is dumb.

We were on one of the many text threads you and I are on. One of them is with the trifecta and Tate. And you came at me on the pats a little bit on that thing. And I went back and I said, Sal, every year we lose all kinds of money on NFL future bets. And the pats are the one thing that keeps us together and actually saves our bacon. And it's happened year after year. How dare you besmirch the Pats? And you actually felt bad. Yeah, you're right. I think I resent them. But that's exactly the point.

If you hate the Patriots like I do, bet they're over 11 and a half wins. Bet them to win the AFC. Bet them to win the Super Bowl. I promise it'll hurt a lot less when all these things come to fruition. Yeah, this is our plan for Trump in 2020. We're banging Trump. I did a Colts over seven and a half bet and I bet on them to win the AFC South finally after circling it for a while.

And I think the Houston stuff, I'm still a little confused why people are penciling in Houston as just a slam dunk heavy favorite to win that division. I don't, the Duke Johnson thing, I don't get at all.

The receivers, other than Hopkins, who's wonderful, Will Fuller gets hurt every year. Those slot guys are already hurt. I just think Clowney's now gone. The offensive line will obviously be a little better than it was a week ago,

but I don't think it's a slam dunk by any means. I was looking at Jacksonville in that division too. I was reading some Jacksonville stuff over the weekend and people are really bullish about Fournette, about the first rounder they picked on D. Just in general, maybe that was the year from hell year for them.

I think it's going to be Indianapolis or Jacksonville in that division. Who do you have now? I still have the Texans. I think they did all the right things. We talked about last week. Two of the first three picks were on the offensive line they then get tonsil like they they want to protect uh the sean watson he had 62 sacks allowed don't you feel though if he has a protection can do what he wants he's

he's top five top six quarterbacks in the league yeah he should be so what do you care will fall or gets hurt uh in the past like they're going to be fine, I think. I just think if it's just going to be Hopkins as the only above average skill position on the entire team, I think that's pretty easy to at least slow down a little bit. What would Belichick do when he plays him? He's just going to double

Hopkins. Please, anyone else beat us. Hopkins won't beat us in this game. Well, you're talking about winning the division. They're not going to beat the Patriots. There I go again. No, but I'm... I just think the smarter teams will be able to know how to play with them. I like... I am really, really, really all the way

in on this Colts thing. It checks every box for me. I'm happy to have it rubbed in my face if I'm wrong, but I feel as good about this as I've felt in a while. They even gave Brissette the extension today for $30 million for two years. I mean, that's kind of crazy, right? So is Dak going to get $100 million a year now?

I don't know where this stops. Now I kind of feel it's turned. Now Brissette's a star. He's a superstar making $30 million for two years. They really like him. Do you think partly they did that to fuck with Jerry Jones a little bit for no reason at all?

Even though they would have no reason to. Jim Irsay's like, eh, watch this. I guess. We're screwed anyway. I think they're maybe all fucking with each other, but I don't know what it does for the team. Is he much better than Teddy Bridgewater

or any of these other guys? Is he better than Hoyer? Do we know that he's better than Hoyer who also got an extension? It's so weird to me. I think Jacoby is above average if he has protection. Right. I don't think he's an all pro, but I think he can be decent. I think he can keep them in games.

And I really like their team. I like their weapons. I don't know why everybody just throws away the last eight to ten Marlon Mack games. I like their receivers. I like their tight ends. They'll be okay. I don't think any of them. I mean, that's the most interesting division.

I don't really want to watch it, but I think that's the most interesting division. I mean, everyone's counting Tennessee out. They were a home win away against the Colts week 17 from winning the division. Instead, they came in third. So anything could really happen. And Sal, I mentioned the Ewing theory with them before. I should have mentioned this last week when we did this, but I'm going to mention it now. You know my favorite football force is the nobody believes in us, but the guys in this locker room mantra. This is textbook. This is just textbook.

It's like when Andrew retired, everybody crossed us off, but you know who didn't stop believing? The guys in this locker room. It's just textbook. It's all set up. Every single check mark I have is set up for the Colts to go 10 and 6 or 11 and 5. I don't think it's textbook.

I think it's checkbook. Because you could say no one believes in me, except when the GM writes you a check for $30 million. Then the main person believes in you and then it doesn't really matter. Well, and they got Brian Hoyer as a backup. Yeah. I noticed the Brady backups over the years, an incredible windfall. Matt Castle, Garoppolo, Brissett, Hoyers got paid a couple times. The only guy who didn't get paid was Ryan Mallett.

He must be really terrible. He was the only one who couldn't get the Brady bump. Before we get to Guess the Lines, you want to give us a little Cowboys, how you're feeling? Zeke? Zeke is like the drunk degenerate dad who might come back home for dinner tonight but he might not also might not come home for two months and the family's just walking on eggshells i don't know what to make of this zeke

thing i think well i think a couple things i think first of all i know he wants his money for sure but he also doesn't mind sitting out the preseason training camp all that stuff i kind of know that he's that kind of player person he's fine sitting it out he thinks he can just jump back back in secondly i think jerry's gonna cave in the next 48 hours okay um but that might not be enough to get him in the lineup for week one but i'd be very surprised if by Thursday, they didn't, they didn't have some kind of deal. Who's the rookie.

Everybody's kind of excited about Tony Pollard at a, at a Memphis. God, they, I hope this doesn't swing fantasy drafts where he's, you know, a $1 guy at the end of the draft. And then Zeke just sits out the entire year.

And now we have James Connor again. Where do you, if you're in a snake draft, because more people do snake drafts, believe it or not, still. They're losers. And Zeke is still on the board. Where do you consider taking him? The snake draft?

Yeah, like you won't take him first. You won't take him second. Hold on. Just give me two more seconds. I just got to lower my IQ another 30 points. Wow. And then pretend I'm in a snake trap. Hold on.

Hold on. There's still a lot of listeners that do snake traps. Well, listen, they only have themselves to blame. All right. You could say how much you would spend on him in an auction. No, I'll do this thing. Hold on. I've lowered my IQ enough.

I can do it now. I would say he has to go like third or fourth round, right? Third or fourth round? Zeke? You're talking about Pollard or Zeke? Oh, who are you talking about? Zeke. What are you, third or fourth round?

If I have my draft and I have no idea if he's going to be on the team, how does he go in the first round? Oh my God. Where do you think he goes? I think you lowered your IQ just a little too much. Let me readjust. Wait, where do you think he goes? I think you lowered your IQ just a little too much. Let me readjust. Wait, where do you think he should go? He goes the middle of the first round, and then you take Pollard early.

You take him like sixth or something. That offensive line is better than ever. Listen, we all have our own ways we handle this stuff. I never do that. I don't think there's anything worse than having your fantasy season submarine by some contract holdout thing you thought was going to swing your way and then it doesn't. Well, that does suck, but you're not –

It's the worst. It's just not worth it. Any snake draft in the third round. He's crossed off. When we're bidding Tuesday night, unless my pain is relieved and I'm out of the league, I will not be in the Zeke Elliott sweepstakes. Okay. All right, good.

Good. I think he's still like a $40 player in an auction. I really do. Well, he's not going to be a $40 player if he's not playing. Well, what do you think he's like? All right, let's do it a different way. Over-under, how many games has he set? You could have last week when we did this, 14 and a half games was the over-under.

Now that's looking like that's not on the board anymore because you would go under. But realistically, you think he's going to sit a whole year? No, but I think at this point, it's probably worth it to sit out the first six weeks, right? And hope that it really affects the Cowboys in some way.

And now they're panicking and now they have to sign him. When did Emmitt Smith did that? He did this one year, remember? It worked out perfectly. It worked for him, but they have the Giants, the Redskins, and the Dolphins. There'll be substantial favorites in all three. Well, that would be the worst-case scenario, right?

They have those three games, and Power just rips it up, and then the Cowboys are all looking at each other like, hmm. Exactly. So do you think he comes back this week? think he comes back i think they sign him they may sit him out week one just because they're nervous about him not being ready but i think he signs within 24 hours of this podcast posting what uh what do you think his auction price is uh i still i'd be surprised if he went under 40. I'll be laughing. I hope everyone else is like you. I'll take him at 38.

Are you kidding me? Hey, Sal, good news. What is it? We're teaming up with FanDuel to give our listeners, who I just insulted if they're in a snake draft, but that's their fault. That's not mine. A chance to play fantasy football against me and you and the trifecta. consulted if they're in a snake draft, but that's not, that's their fault. That's not mine.

A chance to play fantasy football against me and you and the trifecta. I heard about this. Yeah. The best part, the winner gets to fly out to Puerto Rico to be our official correspondent for FanDuel's World Fantasy Football Championship Live Finals. All expenses paid, four days worth of WFFC events in Puerto Rico. You get to be a part of all the action. Here's what you got to do. You go to fanduel.com slash ringer to enter and draft your week one fantasy team before the games kick off on Sunday.

Beautiful. I feel like Harry needs to be involved. The winner should also have to hang out with Harry in Puerto Rico. Should we add Harry to this? Does that hurt or help the prize? I think Puerto Rico has been through enough with sending Harry out there. I don't know. It might be overkill.

I was putting together my team. I don't want to give away all my tricks yet, but I will mention Jacoby Brissett was like 6 million bucks. He was like 2.5 million less than, you know, the sixth best quarterback. I was insulted for him and for the Colts bandwagon. So he will be on my team. I can't believe he got two and a half times in a year in a real salary, what he did in a fantasy football salary.

Also, Nick Chubb is going to be on my team every week for the first eight weeks. I'm just telling you that. That's my guy. Nick Chubb is my guy. I believed in him from day one. That's my guy. That's your $50 play tomorrow. I'll look out for that. Yeah. When Nick Chubb comes up, can you go to the bathroom or something? Because I'm going to get really excited. Remember, play against me, Sal, and the trifecta in the Ringer Listener League on FanDuel. Go to fanduel.com slash ringer to enter now. Come get your ass kicked. We're waiting for you.

All right. It's time. We have a lot to cover here on Guess the Lines. 13th year. It all started you did this with uh which friend which friend was the original Darren the parlay kid yeah the parlay kid and then we started doing it in the in the Jimmy Kimmel live offices when we started working together in 2003 and then I left the show and we just kept doing it on the phone. And then when I got a podcast in 2007, we started doing it then as an actual podcast.

I remember ESPN being vaguely confused. I was like, so everybody come and have Sal on and we're just going to guess the lines for the upcoming week. And they were like, okay, sounds great. You could just tell they were horrified. But I'm still a little confused. It's a contest. We play against each other, but there's no prize.

Should we give to charity or something? Something has to be. I know you owe me a slam with a Subway sandwich over the head, but you never took me up on it. Yeah, well, now it'd be a Jimmy John's sandwich, I think. I love Jimmy John's. I've beaten you like every year. When was the last time you beat me? Well, yeah, I think it's every year.

And I have to say, honestly, you mentioned it. I'm on a gambling. I'm talking to smart gambling people. If I don't beat you this year, I may have to retire. I mean, I love it. I love this more than anything. But really, some shame has to set in at some point. I make my living doing this, and I can't guess closer to the actual line than you can.

Well, I have a couple of things in my favor. One, you're completely overextended. You're writing, you're writing this book. I think this book's going to start to break you. You're on TV. You're doing the Thursday night thing. You're doing your against all odds podcast. I'm calling the distraction right now. I feel very confident. Okay. I'm locked in. All right. Thursday night, the Bears of Chicago are home facing the Packers of Green Bay. Aaron Rodgers. Again, I have no idea why the Pats aren't hosting this game, but we get Mitch Trubisky. So congrats to all of us. I'm going to say Bears by five.

Ooh. All right. You went a little high there. I went three and a half, and it's down to three, Bill. Really? I get the win there. We talked about this last week. What is going on with the Bears backlash?

They won 12 games, and realistically, I thought they were in the playoff game they lost. Certainly, they didn't get their asses kicked in the playoff game. It was a double doink, right? I know Cody. Yeah, right now, but they,

you know, that was an up and down game, but I just thought they were really good. They were really good. They won 12 games. They led in takeaways. I think they had like 36 takeaways, but schedules harder schedules hard.

I think everybody's gunning for them now they everyone's gunning for us team they have five prime time games i think i mentioned last week they play on thanksgiving and they play in london so that's like seven crazy games now they started off against the biggest rivalry in uh in all the sports possibly but um well i will say this here a little bit i love every single thing I've read about David Montgomery. What is he now for Offensive Rookie of the Year? Is he still in the 7-1, 8-1 range? Let me pull that up.

You talk a little more and I'll find that. Yeah, yeah. I did a big sweep. I was away with my daughter all weekend, just researching in a hotel room in Carlsbad, just getting ready for this podcast and for my two fantasy football drafts. And I usually rate the,

when you're reading all the different stories and the different websites and all that stuff, you can kind of, you know, you take some stuff with a grain of salt. Over and over again, people are just going nuts about Montgomery and how much of a difference maker he's going to be compared to Jordan Howard.

And if anything, I had both of the Bears guys last year. And I remember talking about this with you in the podcast. I thought they leaned on Tariq Cohen too much. I think he's pretty limited. He's a come out of the backfield, catch a screen pass kind of guy. But he's not somebody that should be being used in goal line situations and stuff like that. Yeah, he's plus 450. I guess the betters like him too.

Kyler Murray's still the favorite at plus 150. And I like Josh Jacobs at eight to one, but it's not a bad number for Montgomery. Well, the thing is, if the Raiders aren't good, Josh Jacobs would have to have like an astounding season. Montgomery's going to be in a lot of nationally televised games, which I think will help him. Yeah. But I just think he has a chance. I actually like Jordan Howard.

I didn't really feel like they used him correctly last year, but I think I like this kid. So there's that. We also have Matt Nagy against Matt LaFleur. Battle of the Mats. Oh, yeah. I didn't's that. We also have Matt Nagy against Matt LaFleur. Battle of the Mats. Oh, yeah. I didn't realize that. There's three Mats who are NFL coaches. Is that the most for anybody's name out of all the coaches? Wait a minute.

Matt LaFleur, Matt Nagy, Matt Belichick. And Matt LeBlanc. Matt LeBlanc. Why can't I think of the other Matt? Oh, Matt Atlanta? No, what's his name? Who is it? Matt Patricia.

Oh, Matt Patricia, yeah. Yeah. There's only one Patricia, though. There's three Shons, and there's three Mikes. There's no four. We don't have a four. So then I look to see if there's anyone coaching named Sal. And there's nobody in the NFL coaching named Sal,

but there is a guy in college on, I think, an SEC team whose name is Sal something. Interesting. So, yeah. They got to fix that. That's all my name stuff. But yeah, we have three. Matt doesn't feel like a coach name, right?

No, no, no. Coach Matt's like the guy who's coaching your five-year-old in his first basketball game he's ever played, right? Right. At the YMCA. I'm too used to Matt, Matty Ice, all that Matt talk. Matt, wasn't it Matt Saranson? Was he the Friday Night Lights quarterback?

Yeah, Matt seems like the dominant name of all the NFL names. Hasselbeck. Well, Rodgers have his mustache for this game. I think that was reserved just for the Canadians. I think he gets rid of that. You think he gets rid of that? Yeah. I will say this. You talk about head coaches, rookie head coaches,

newbie coaches, as Matt LaFleur is. 0-5 last year in the openers and 1-4 against the spread. I'm surprised you like the Packers. I am too. Especially if the line stays at three, I promise you the Bears will be one of my picks this week because I like them at home. I just don't feel like the Packers. I don't get it.

I think there's a mystique with them that has carried over that we just need to drop and just start treating them as another team. Aaron Rodgers is 35. I would agree with you, but 34-year-old Aaron Rodgers beat them on one leg last year when Chicago got off the massive lead Sunday night. And they filled in the defense nicely. Adrian Amos, Preston Spence I saw their moves they're good, they're going to be good

you know who they're going to miss? Mike McCarthy that guy's a Super Bowl champ I think it was Matt McCarthy no, you're right, it's Mike McCarthy let's go to the Sunday games we didn't rank these this time yeah, I was wondering, you didn't do watchables and all those

guess what, I'm excited for every single game. Oh, good. All right. Browns-Titans. Yeah. It's in Cleveland. I have the Browns favored by six. You hit that exactly.

I had five and a half, which I also think is too high. But it is six. It is indeed six. And here we go. I mean, this is really, is it really like, this is what it's going to be? I mean, half a dozen point favorite over teams, like I mentioned, very close to making the playoffs last year.

Yeah. So remember I told you to remind me to bring this up during the guest lines. This is the game that I think fucks with everybody this year. I think the Browns kill the Titans. And Odell gets his eight catches for 140 in the 140-yard awesome TD. Nick Chubb rushes for 130. The Browns look awesome. I think the Titans, because that Mariota-Tannehill thing,

that'll take seven weeks to resolve. The Browns look awesome. And it's like, here we go. Browns bandwagon. Boom. Super Bowl. How far can this go? And then they lose to the Jets in week two.

Oh, interesting. They're at the Jets week two. I hope that happens. That part of it happens. Because this has, you know how your team and fans are insufferable. This says, this has all the makings. I can't believe that they,

you know, under 500 last year, still one of the worst run defenses in the league. And they've got a little better, but I think Derek Henry carves them up a little bit. I really think like Mario, it has to make one or two good throws for them to stay in this game, at least to cover.

I don't know why it's so high. You know, one or two good throws for them to stay in this game, at least a cover. I don't know why it's so high. I'm with you on the Browns not being 500, but we watched all those games. They had Hugh Jackson as their coach for part of the season. They were in all of those games. They blew a couple. It really felt like a 10-6 season that masqueraded as 7-9 or 7-8-1 or whatever they ended up with.

I did think from a talent standpoint, they were a little bit higher and they were also like doing dumb shit that they're playing Carlos Hyde over Nick Chubb. Can I tell you something about, uh, I hesitate to tell you this until it actually airs or until we shoot it, but I am, uh, along with my cohost on locking in Rachel Bonetta, we're shooting a comedy bit with Hugh Jackson tomorrow. Oh my God. And he's flying in just for the comedy bit. Really?

Swear, yeah. And it's a Hard Knocks parody. Can he join the show? Can he just be your fifth guy? Full time? Yeah. Can you get him in the box? It could be the four of you.

He's, you know, he doesn't know what it's like to be on this side of the desk. Hugh Jackson should do more TV. I like it. Yeah. And maybe not coach him. I pray to God he hasn't listened to all the terrible things we said over the years. There's no way he has.

Okay, good. Next one. Let's go Vikings Falcons. Cause these are two teams that I'm, I'm certainly wouldn't bet on before the season. I'm going to stay away from this game completely. I'm going to try to not have fantasy guys on either of these teams. And you know, I'd probably like the Falcons a little more than the Vikings,

but I thought you, I thought you had the Vikings to win. You didn't have them to win the division. Who am I thinking? No, I didn't have the Vikings. I thought you had the Vikings. You didn't have them to win the division? Who am I thinking? No, I didn't have the Vikings. I had the Bears. You had the Bears. Okay.

I had the Falcons as one of my five, nine, and seven teams. I have the Vikings in this game at home by three. Yeah, you went a little light. I hit it exactly. I said four. And maybe a little more of a home field advantage than they deserve. But I'm with you. I had Atlanta as a playoff team at 9-7 or 10-6,

and I had the Vikings under. So the board might be a little high. Do you feel like this is one of those games where we're going to know for the season with both teams by the end of this game? Is this a loser leaves town? Do you want to call it? I feel like it's like an

honorary almost loser leaves town. I just feel like we're going to have a lot of answers after this game with both teams. I could see week 8 be like, well, they lost that game to Atlanta, so they can't win the Wild Card or week 12 or something like that. The Cousins thing has a chance to go south

pretty fast where they're 2-5 and he's getting booed at home. If you're going to say what team starts out way worse than anyone would expect and their quarterback is getting booed at home, Kirk Cousins would be the number one draft pick. Probably, yeah. So I have my eye on that. But Atlanta, they completely cleaned house with the coaching staff and just seemed like they dipped themselves into the Lake Minnetonka and cleansed themselves. I still don't love their team, but I think they'll be better than we were last year.

They did a nice job filling their offensive line, I think. I don't know on paper, which they had to protect Matt Ryan, who actually had a good year. It's funny, Cousins three-year, $84 million. That's going to seem like such a steal. Two Jacoby Brissett extensions from now. It's crazy. Ravens are at the Dolphins. This is a crazy game to even talk about because this hurricane is really scary and we have no idea what's going to happen with it. But I guess we're taping this now. It's 6.09 on Monday.

So we'll have more answers on that tomorrow. But I don't know what's going to happen with this game. I had, assuming somehow, maybe we avoid a massive scare or whatever. I have Ravens by three and a half. I went four and a half and it's actually six and a half. Oh, Jesus. They jacked it.

Well, Ravens are what? Eight win team projected? Dolphins half that? I think they have to. It has to be more than a field goal. It's Lamar on the road, though. It also might be. You were then rightfully so

complaining about the scheduling of some of these games well i don't understand it seems like we have some sort of terrible weather situation in the deep south every single year and then for some reason they always decide to have home football games in florida i would i would try to avoid the first couple they hit all three, actually. Miami, Carolina. Seems like common sense. Miami, Carolina, Tampa, Jacksonville, all home week one. Yeah, I don't get that.

I think I get it. You want to hear my explanation? I think it gives them free reign to collect data. So if they have to cancel one or more of the games, what are they going to do? They'll make it, the game can't go away. They'll try to make it like a Tuesday night game, right? Oh, yeah.

We've talked about this strategy before. Can we have, right. Can we have football on a Tuesday night? How well does it rate? Is it worth moving it off the big- 3 p.m. afternoon game. Yes, exactly. And then Roger Goodell will be like,

I don't know, what are we supposed to do? Our hands were tied, right? I think that's it. I think we both think the worst of the Goodell would be like, I don't know. What were we supposed to do? Our hands were tied, man. I think that's it. I think we both think the worst of the Goodell administration at all times. That might be it, yeah. Jets-Bills. I was thinking about who my four games would be on the four TVs,

and I feel like Jets-Bills is kind of a lock. I really kind of want to watch this. Josh Allen and Darnold and the Jets fans at home feeling a little frisky. Just a wee bit frisky. I have the Jets by four. I did too. I think we both whiffed big time here. Both teams are supposed to win eight games. Jets are home.

It's three. Made it nice and simple for us. I like the Jets. That's a fun one. You're right. I don't know what the Bills have shown to make me think that they shouldn't be getting at least three and a half on the road against any mediocre to better team, right? How about the Bills?

And they always do this. I can't stand it. So they traded for this guy, Morris, or they signedse away from the Chiefs, a gigantic great center. Their backup is Bodine. Yeah. Seventh in the league protecting the passer. Patriot center goes out. They trade him right to the Patriots.

I feel like they do this every year. I guess Hogan wasn't a trade, but I feel like they, and the Patriots end up cutting some of these guys too, but why leave this open for the Patriots? This was a trade. Like, I don't know why they give the, give this away like that. I didn't understand it either.

And I don't, it's just always amazing to me when people trade guys to the Patriots. Yeah. They usually win the trades. The draft picks aren't as great, but. But if the Patriots are looking for a trade a week before the season, that means they're saying they're a little shaky at a position. We didn't have to read into it too much to see when the center

went out. They traded for 3-0 linemen in the week leading up to the cuts. They don't like giving away picks, especially that late. I'm excited for that one. Eagles-Redskins, not as excited about this one. Yeah. A couple of things we should mention though.

Oh, let's do the lads first. It's in Philly. I have Philly by six and a half. Oh, I went higher. I said eight. It's nine and a half. Very high. Yeah, that's too high.

I got to say I'm surprised. Division game week one, double digits. I don't know. Maybe they kill them, but I'm not laying that to say I'm surprised. Division game week one, double digits. I don't know. Maybe they kill them, but I'm not laying that. So I'm not predicting this. I don't want to change what we talked about on the over-enders, but I was just surprised reading up on the Redskins this weekend. They're not going to be bad.

They're getting thrown into these who's going to be the worst team in the league discussions and stuff like that. And if you read the quotes and what the writers are writing about them and stuff, it seems like everybody thinks their defense is going to be really good. So maybe they end up like the Broncos last season with the excellent defense and the lousy offense, but I think defensively, they're going to be good. Division game, you know, the Eagles, who knows? But I could see them kind of hanging around in this game. This feels upsetting to me. I wouldn't put the Eagles in a parlay because I think there's a slight whiff of, as you

know, I like Keenum too, even though he's been in four teams in four years. Yeah, I just, it's a little weird mojo. They have winnable games, Buffalo, Miami, San Francisco, Detroit, Jets, Giants times two. I think the Giants we all think are going to be in the basement there, so that helps the third-place team. But Trent Williams not coming back and guys coming off the torn ACL. And I'm screaming about Jay Gruden being the first coach fired, so I think I've talked myself

into a lather here, but they could keep it close this week. Well, so that's the case against them is Case Keenum's been on four teams in four years. They don't have a left tackle. Jordan Reed had another concussion during the preseason. I didn't realize that until this weekend. They think he's had at least six concussions. That's got to be it for him. I don't understand why they're like,

yeah, he might be back for a week too. It's like, that guy shouldn't be playing football anymore. Once you have more than three, that's it. And then the Jay Gruden thing. So look, the Eagles could win this game by 30 and sack Keenum seven times. That wouldn't surprise me either. But I do think that people are just kind of glossing over the Redskins.

Being favored by almost double figures seems crazy to me. Yeah, I think that's too much week one. Yeah. Let's take a quick break. Hey, let's take a break to talk about Square. They make that little white credit card reader that lets anyone take payments. Running and growing business takes so much more than just payments. That's why Square has so many more tools that can help.

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hairstylist, skydiving teacher, whatever, podcast producer like Kyle. Square has tools that can help you no matter what size or stage of business you're at. See all the ways Square can take your business from square one to whatever's next. That's square.com slash go slash BS. Man, Rams, Panthers. This one has that. I almost want you to prohibit me from betting on this because I love the Rams. I do not like this Panthers team.

I think Cam's hurt. I think this Panthers situation has a chance to go south fast. And what delighted me is a lot of people are picking them as a possible Super Bowl sleeper and watch out for these guys. They're plus 550 to win the division, and that's gotten some buzz. I'm all in on this Rams season, even though their schedule is pretty tough. I picked Rams by three in Carolina. What'd you have?

You got that exactly, I believe. Wait, I lost track now. Rams by three. am i yeah we both got plus three and it is uh plus three for carolina and i think i'll tell you this this is one of the big sharp picks underdogs panthers yeah carolina plus three that's why i don't want you to let me bet on this it's not coming off that number it's not coming off that number at all i don't you know i i understand travel and everything but but I don't care LA to Carolina week one. I don't think that's too much of an issue.

Cam Newton was almost not going to start a week ago. It's very strange. I don't know. You get the NFC champs giving three against the Panthers. You could be in good shape. There's some golf on the road that's always worrisome. Yeah. Other than that,

you know, if you don't believe in the Panthers and you believe in the Rams, it's hard to imagine not loading up on this game. And I know I'm going to end up doing it. I'm intrigued by the new owner. I was reading about the new owner this weekend,

David Tepper. Yeah. You know, I love new owners. They always have to kind of throw their dick around the first year. And he's trying to get all this stuff done. He's trying to build this practice facility, buy an MOS team,

and get the fans to help him build some new arena. And it just, I could see if the season doesn't start out the way they thought, him starting to flex a little bit and giving weird interviews. And, you know, they all have to do it that first year, the rich guys. They can't help themselves. Yeah. the way they thought him starting to flex a little bit and given weird interviews and, you know, they all have to do it that first year, the rich guys, they can't help themselves.

Yeah. Well, some, some, some of the rich guys never stop. Right. No, Jerry Jones commenting every single day.

You're 32 at Jerry Jones. Yeah. Yeah. He's completely extinguished all leverage. He has a physique deal. I think the cam thing, I'm just stunned that it should be, it should just have him in quotations

when people talk about him. We have no idea how healthy he is. His shoulder might be really fucked up. We watched, Kyle and I were at the dark room on Thursday night. Yeah, we were. And we saw him throw a pass. I think it was him. No, he was out by then.

It wasn't him? him yeah he was out by then well what in a bar no no we the game the panthers game was on a bar and we didn't know if it was him or not but it was a duck it was like a 40 yard duck and the important part of the story is that i would have believed that was cam newton and that's where his arm strength is at right now for me i just don't think he's healthy. Well, you know, I mean,

a two shoulder surgery. So yeah, yeah, that, that, that's a strike against you, but you know, he's never going to have 40 touchdown passes in a year.

Anyway, if he, if he runs for six or seven touchdowns, that's the Cam Newton you want, you know, laying it all out. But I bet him under, I bet McCaffrey on there.

This, this is the team that's going to make me look foolish, I think. Yeah, I'm with you. God. And the thing is, we'll get stubborn about it, too, when they're like three and up. Like, no, this is the week it turns. I'm worried about these guys because I really don't see it. Yeah.

Chiefs, Jaguars. It's in Jacksonville. This is the other sharp pick. Well, I mean, we do this every year. We always talk about the home dogs. They're always like about around week eight, week nine. I tell you, the home dogs are 25 and 15 or 24 and 17 or 23 and 14, whatever. But it's every year.

So if we were smart, we would take the Panthers and the Jaguars. Well, we're not. Although I will say this, this is now game number eight that we've gone over. Yeah. We've not mentioned the teaser of favor, teasing a favorite down from eight or seven or six to two, one, zero. You just wait, my friend. Cause I have more.

Oh yes. All right. I have the chiefs favored by three and a half in this game, and I like the Jaguars. I hit it exactly because I do this for a living. I went four, plus four. Four? Yeah.

What do you think of LeSean McCoy, that whole thing? I didn't get that at all. Actually, I know what you think because I saw you talk about it on the TV show today. Isn't it just that they're – like what else could it be? Like everything I heard says that they're all set in the backfield. It's like just want to hang out kind of thing. Andy Reid and McCoy?

Andy Reid and McCoy. It's a real risk publicity-wise and he's not the highest character player. When was the last time Shady McCoy jumped off the TV screen for you? Where you're watching and going, whoa, that guy's good. Wasn't that snow game? Wasn't he great in that snow game where he was carrying the ball with one hand and just dominating?

How many years ago was that? Yeah, it was three years ago, probably. As you know, I said it last week, I like Damian Williams. I didn't know why they did that. I would have saved the money. There's a lot of Fournette buzz. We talked about it last week. I read some more this weekend about it.

They seem really, really, really bullish on him having his head straight this year and being in great shape and looking like a badass. Nick Foles, say what you want about the dude. He beat Tom Brady in a Super Bowl, and he certainly carries himself with a certain level of confidence. And it does seem like just going from where they were at the quarterback position to just somebody who seems like he knows what he's doing.

I don't know if you could put a price on that. I think this has the potential of Jaguars beating the Chiefs, followed by everybody going, oh, the jaguars beating the chiefs followed by everybody going oh the jaguars whoa we got here if this defense is every bit as good as everyone says this could be fun but if it's homes and foals just get to do whatever they want mahomes will be win by double digits i think but no one ever loved the chiefs defense right aside from now a good pass rush you know their their, their secondary is proving to be abysmal over the years. They have the 40-point defensive games every now and then,

so this could be one of them. I think this has a chance to be the week one game where eight weeks from now, we're surprised that the line was Chiefs by four. Yeah. That maybe it should have been at least Pickham or something like that. Yeah, maybe.

All right, we're going to the 4 o'clock game, Sal. Here we go. By the way, what was the best 1 o'clock game? Chiefs-Jaguars? Or Jets-Bills? Yeah, I guess Chiefs-Jaguars. Or Atlanta-Minnesota, if you want to. I guess if we went by over under wins, it'd be Atlanta,

Minnesota. Kyle, which one are you most excited about? Chiefs Jags. What's going to be in our big screen? Chiefs Jags. Yeah, no doubt.

Kyle's going to be wearing a flash Gordon jersey. I'm definitely watching. What kind of beer are you thinking for Sunday? Red stripe. All right. Good to know. Four o'clock games. Well,

big stakes for both of us. Yourboys and my colts they're both going oh this is big uh my colts so you're gonna get a choco brissette jersey aren't you now he's got a birthday coming up i know what to do now it's it's fun it's adorable because we've just been killing the colts all decade, so I kind of like adopting them now. It's like the kid you beat up in recess every day, and now you're inviting him over. I have the Chargers at their 30,000-seat gimmick stadium favored by five and a half against the Colts. All right, I went seven.

Now, they originally opened this when Luck was involved. This was a three-point game. They raised it to seven and then said, let the betters figure out what to do. And the betters, much like yourself, are going Colts here. And it went down to six and a half. So I still win that one, but Chargers minus six and a half. No Melvin Gordon.

No Melvin Gordon. It kind of fell in their lap nicely, right? It really did. Not like Derwin James is coming back anytime soon. But yeah, it's kind of just what the doctor ordered for the Bolts. Yeah, and no left tackle for the Chargers this weekend. Russell Okung. Okung?

How do you say his name? I always get this wrong. Okung, yeah. Okung. Yeah, no left tackle. I just don't. Is Jacoby Brissett going to be the fourth most popular jersey in that

stadium? They will if you have anything to do with it. It's going to be so funny when he throws five picks. It is. Then we get back in Kaepernick land when that happens. Oh, no. Oh, yeah. They just paid Brissett. They're not signing Kaepernick. Yeah.

That line is too high. I don't get that line at all. Six and a half is stupid. I would say that's a tough road game to start with, but like we said, he has been taking every snap in training camp. It's not really a road game. Chargers play on the road every week, it seems. I don't feel like there's a tough road game to start with

because there's no game the week before. You just go three days early and get acclimated and do the thing. Deadline's too high. I don't get it. Your team, the Dallas Cowboys. Not a Sunday night game. This was always Sunday night. I might have gone too low on this.

I had remembered from years past, week one, the lines were always low. So I intentionally went low and it seems like that was a bad strategy. I only went eight for this. It's probably going to be higher. Oh no, you went too high. I went, it's seven.

That's what I went. So explain that to me because the Giants are terrible and then Eli Manning is the quarterback. I'm handing you right now. One, two, three, it's seven. That's what I went. So explain that to me because the Giants are terrible. And then Eli Manning is the quarterback. I'm handing you right now. One, two, three, four, five. I got circles all over the place here. Well, great.

I always let you win week one. Cowboys five and two against spread last seven against the Giants in the season openers. I think they had to raise it a little. They're six and one in the last seven season openers against the Giants. I don't know. I think, had to raise it a little. They're 6-1 in the last seven season openers against the Giants. I don't know. What do you need to know? Their offensive line is suspect. Giants. Cowboys defense

is full strength. No, I'm with you. Why isn't this line 8 or 8.5 or 9? Oh, you should be higher. Oh, yeah. Well, I think because they just want us to put it on a teaser. That's all. Well, 8 is a miracle. That's why I was telling you, wait for the teaser conversation. This is a miracle. The only thing I could see is this is Eli's last great game where he's actually good one last time.

I hope. And then he completely falls apart. And by week six, the Daniel Jones era is upon us. I hope I can get in his ear between now and then and say hey i know you're thinking this could be your last great game but you have the patriots on the schedule on a thursday night in uh october i believe let that be your last great game please eli still scares you even now that he's like a cadavre eli cadaver basically he still scares you though he took a lot of sacks. He's not patient in the pocket.

He's kind of different. Old Eli definitely scared me. Two years ago, Eli scared me. But I think we got him to the right. I'm never confident in this team. I don't know why. I like them this game. Mark this one down for our teaser discussion.

Oh, oh, wait. I have a second team for the Tees. It's the Seattle Seahawks. Yeah. They are home against the Cincinnati Bengals. Clowney will be in uniform. And I pick Seattle by seven, which puts us in Tees range. Even if it's a little higher than that, we're still in Tees range.

Well, it's a little, little higher than we don't like. I have 8.5 because I think Cincinnati is going to be the worst team. I bet them an 8-1 to be the worst team. And it's actually 9 right now. Oh, no. Really? And it was 9 even before the trade and everything. Yeah. Are we sure that Seattle should be favored by 9 over anyone other than Miami?

I feel like they don't blow. You don't have to worry about them blowing the home game. They'll win the game. How many late games have we had Seattle in a teasing where it's like, let's go to Seattle where Arizona's up 14-3, and we're just going nuts waiting for Seattle to get going? Right. Yeah, maybe.

I just don't think this early in the season. I love their defense. Ziggy Ansah, Ingram, Bobby Wagner, Shaq Griffin, your boy Trey Flowers. They really, they're kind of loaded everywhere. All right. Well, maybe we can do a six and a half point tease. We'll figure it out. So if we do six and a half.

So you're saying the Cowboys are the second team or the first team? Yeah, Cowboys. So six and a half point tees. Cowboys down to a half point and then Seattle down to two and a half. See, this is why I'm stupid. I'm like, oh, those are both four o'clock games. That's not going to win. Like, why should that matter?

You're a lunatic. I know. Actually, let's take a quick break. Hey, let's talk about CBS Sports sports hq for a second sports television changing not always for the better lots of yelling beating topics in the ground hot takes and i'm not even sure the host believed well cbs sports hq is looking to change that with coverage always focused on the game all the highlights new stats game previews game reactions fantasy advice and gambling picks. That's right, you degenerate gamblers. This is made for you. All without the yelling and fake debates. Just sports

for real sports fans. Live 24-7, seven days a week. You can just turn on, leave it on. Best of all, completely free. Not just free for a week or a month. If you already have some special package, it is actually free for everyone. You don't even need to log in. Just open the CBS Sports app. Watch anytime from anywhere on your phone or at home on your Apple TV, Roku, or Fire TV. Couldn't be easier.

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Their footwear products are total MVPs. I brought a couple pair home because they mailed them to me in the office. And my wife saw them on my dresser and was like, what are these? And just put them on. It was a hijacking. I need more Allbirds. My wife just stole them. Just walk around the house. She described them as like slippers for her feet, even though they were socks. I don't even understand what they mean, but that's how much she liked them. Thanks to their unique proprietary recipe of premium natural materials,

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I had no idea what to pick for a line in this game. I took the Cardinals by two. I just was throwing darts. I went by the over-under wins, and Arizona's is so low, and Detroit's is not as low. So I thought Detroit was a favorite by one. They're a favorite by two and a half. Oh, my God.

It was off by four and a half. You have no interest in Kyle Amariari against matt patricia's seven tight end scheme i don't i'm gonna try to not watch a lot of lions this year is one of my strategies for uh for the package maybe if they're on the red zone great um i'm with you not exciting arizona's two cornerbacks are out i think so uh't want, you know, far be it for me to urge you to bet Detroit this week. So that gives us another road dog. I mean, I'm sorry, a home dog. Home dog.

Yeah, barely. Yeah. Wow. It all counts. All right. Bucks 49ers. I had the Bucks winning the NFC South and you got borderline angry at me. You thought I was bastardizing as in the whole process.

Well, I just think like, you know, you're like Francesa. Remember in the Knicks and Madison Square Garden from the middle, mid nineties, like, you know, like, all right, we know we get it. We always pick the bucks and they always let us down. So you have to remember, remember what we did. I can't believe you just compared me to Francesa. Come on. That's your boy.

That was uncalled for. I have the Bucs by two and a half against the 49ers of San Francisco. I beat you here. I said Tampa by one. I don't know what to make of the San Francisco team. I don't know what Vegas makes of them. So I try to make it as close to a pick-em as I can. And I didn't make it close enough.

It's a pick-em. It's exactly a pick-em. Ahoy. Am I the only one who likes Tampa in the entire country as to be better than people think they're going to be? Nobody else is on this? What do you like about them better than San Francisco? You don't like their quarterback.

You don't like their coach. I haven't liked anything about San Francisco this offseason. You need Jimmy G to fail. No, I don't. You know that's not true. I was on this podcast two years ago

picking him every week and touting his praises. I'm saying for Brady, for you to have a clean slate with the Patriots, you really just have to avenge the Eagles' loss and for Jimmy G to be not that great. No, because Brissette is... I'm all in on Brissette on the Colts.

That was our other backup. Well, he was never going to start for you. That's a different story. Kyle? Any thoughts on this? He was never going to start for you. Sal's saying we don't root for Jimmy G. That's not true. Kyle? Any thoughts on this? Sal's saying we don't root for Jimmy G. That's not true.

Kyle loves Jimmy G. Unfailingly behind Jimmy G. When Jimmy G dated a porn star, it was one of Kyle's 2018 highlights. Jimmy G was on the corner TV as many games as he played last year. Yeah, we love Jimmy G. I just don't think he's ready. I think that's a two-year injury. I think

secretly you need him to fail. Oh, I can't wait. If the Patriots go to the Super Bowl, let it be against the 49ers. Please. Well, speaking of the Patriots, Sunday night. How is this not the Thursday night game? I mean, what are they doing? The Super Bowl champ gets the Thursday night game every year.

This year they're like, no. You lost your last Thursday night game coming off a championship, right? Well, I'm happy it's Sunday night because we own the Steelers anyway. And also, again, with the home game, the one time in 15 years the Steelers were on the road or the Steelers were home for this game and the refs robbed Jesse James of a touchdown. Oh, stop it.

Again, you get this home. The call was interpreted correctly, and it was a loss, as usual, for Pittsburgh. I have the Patriots by six. I said six also. It's five and a half. You're not going to make that another teaser game, are you? No, you could talk me into a three-team,

six-and-a-half-point tease. Brady, I read some 12-and-a-half-point tease. Brady, I read some 12-4 and 16 home openers, but only 8-8 against the spread. Brady Belichick. They kept this dude, Gunner, whose name is Gunner, who was this undrafted free agent who was returning kicks during the preseason and then on special teams. And he's like a backup wide receiver. And he's like the most Belichick-y type of training camp guy.

It's like they put him in a lab. They did just put all the ingredients to be like a guy who might make the Patriots as an undrafted free agent. And it was like that movie Weird Science with Kelly LeBrock, where the computer just created this human being. And that was Gunner. And he got waived on Saturday. It turned out for about 40 minutes, it seemed like he was going to get waived. Then they made a trade, opened up a spot and brought him back. And I was following it on Twitter, going out of my mind, so excited they kept Gunner.

You love it. I was so into it. There's a very likable team of dudes that they kept this year. There's some overachievers and undrafted dudes. I don't know. I really like this Patriots team. I think they're going to be really good this year. Let me throw something by you here.

I'm going to prepare you for this. As a friend, I want to prepare you for this. Steelers defense had 52 sacks last year. Can you see them pressuring Brady and going down? And then all the talk about father time caught up to him. Giselle's got her bags packed. And then you do what you normally

do. You win the Super Bowl. That could be the narrative for Monday. I'm just getting you ready for that. I'm going to give you the narrative that will actually be on Monday. I think it's going to be the Patriots defense. I think this defense is really good. Really? And the secondary is probably the best secondary we've had since the Ty Law,

Lawyer Malloy era. All right. Well, that'll be something we haven't seen yet. Actually, I should say the Ty Law, Rodney Harrison era. It's always the beginning of the year. You have defensive problems. You have so many holes, and then you eventually fill it. The D is good this year, and I don't think Brady's going to be that involved on Sunday.

I think this is going to be a ball control run. Everything we saw in the last six, seven weeks of last year when they kind of flipped their identity, I think that's who they are now. But they have a couple playmaking receivers. I would expect them to playmaking receivers. I would expect them to win this game. I do like the Steelers though. So, you know, I think the Steelers are the third best team in the AFC. So this is a great game. This is easily the best game of the week. Oh, for sure. Yeah. I'm excited. And you know, there's some Roethlisberger MVP

buzz now. I've seen that a couple of places. He's a mid range guy. He's like 17 to one. You know, like touchdowns are lucky, but like I was saying, if you throw for 5,200 yards, you're going to by accident get like 35, right? Like just, that's just how it's going to happen. So you might as well try to figure it out. The big thing for them, if Schuster can really emerge as a top flight, number one guy, because you know, when you're with Brown and they're have to be so worried about somebody else, sometimes you're an overqualified number two,

but that doesn't mean you're an elite number one. He's young, I guess, is the thing with him. I think when he graduated or when he came out of college, I think he was like 20. Um, if he goes up a notch and becomes like an elite number one guy, which I think is really possible because I think he's good, and they have a couple other receivers too, I don't see why his production would drop off Roethlisberger. Yeah. I like him too.

All the breath of fresh air. They got a lot of nice things. Moncrief could be all right. Yeah. Monday night, we have nice things. Moncrief could be all right. Yeah. Monday night, we have two games. Saints-Texans. That's a really nice first game. I think that's kind of overqualified to be the early Monday night game, right?

Yeah, I think so. It's usually some slug team on the road. I mean, last year was Detroit Jets, wasn't it? Yeah, we'll watch anything on Monday night. You don't need to actually give us a good game on Monday night. This is the second best game. This should have been like Jets-Bills. What were they doing?

Right, they screwed up. Can they flex it, or is it too big? I have the Saints by six over Houston. All right. I had, what did I add? Five and a half. You're going to win that one.

It's seven. It's a full seven. I wouldn't take that on a teaser, but that seems, well, you know, I don't like the saints. Right.

I feel, I actually feel pretty confident about that one. You don't like the saints. I don't like the saints this year. Right. But what are you, what are you thinking for? I think this is a stay away.

I want to watch it. I want to see exactly what's going on with this Houston team because there's all kinds of variables now. And I really don't think they have good skill guys. I think it's Hopkins or bust. So we'll see. Well, Hopkins against Thomas is going to be fun. I mean, they could have like 20 receptions total.

That is a fun game. You know, I was looking at the Saints receivers. It's not like they have proven dudes other than Thomas. Did you look at their receiving crew? Not many teams have two good receivers anymore. But they have like Ted Ginn's prominently involved for them again this year. I was surprised by that. Yeah.

I don't know. I got that Taysom Hill. I got number seven. Jumps around a quarterback every now and then. And they don't have a... You know what they did? They had Jared Cook who had like 900 yards receiving. They got him now.

I saw him. I've never forgiven him for ruining my fantasy season last year. All I needed was like 18 yards from him, and I don't know what happened. You know how you have those fantasy grudges? Yeah. He's one of my fantasy grudges. I root against him for life now. He's my mortal enemy.

He ruined my season. Well, I was telling someone about this. When you're in like two or three leagues a year, even over like a decade, you end up hating half the league. Yeah, you do. Like, oh, this guy screwed me. Oh, this guy scores in bunches. This guy does this.

It is true. Why do we do it that should i start now i haven't even drafted a team yet i'm already angry about fantasy vote me out tomorrow who's i don't think you're gonna be kicked out co-host is the chad's going oh for a third time yeah he just goes after this guy on on email our friend co-host you know, we didn't talk about our draft yet. After really could have been a documentary about how the wheels came apart last year. We talked about it on the pod last year. I'm a little nervous about tomorrow. Yeah, we all haven't seen each other. And it really could be awkward.

I'm not going to feel awkward. I feel like it's a wedding and you know how you make a seating chart to get the relatives that don't like each other away from each other? Yeah. I feel like we need to stay on top of that for tomorrow because there was a lot of, I mean, there's like four different just rivalries within the league, right? And they're not friendly either. Yeah.

If we were scheduling this as a wrestling pay-per-view you know like if this was the aew or something and it was like this was our big labor day weekend pay-per-view right we would have a full card yes for sure who would who would hench be who would hench be going against hench might have too many he matches in two matches yeah i think that's a handicap match right there uh he's up against four but he he accused people of colluding yeah someone else made a mother joke to somebody whose mother unfortunately had passed away yeah that guy jumped back after went after his career yeah it was and brad is always just a lunatic so the best part of this is you pretending that you're going to be uncomfortable in any way this is you live for this this is going. So the best part of this is you pretending that you're going to be uncomfortable

in any way. This is you live for this. This is going to be the best night of your life. You love nothing more than being in a room with people who are uncomfortable. That's true. You love the vote out process. This is like this is your life's work all crystallizing into one night. I take it all back. Ornery silence, uncomfortable jokes, you cattle prodding people anytime it seems like it's going to calm down. This is everything you ever wanted.

By the way, and for that reason, you should want to be in that threat. Like, don't get kicked out this year. This is going to be a fun four hours tomorrow. Kyle, Sal is literally the guy when I was at Kimmel Show who you left your computer

to go to the bathroom and he would go onto your computer and send computer to go to the bathroom and he would go on to your computer and send emails to people you worked with and be like i don't know what your problem is and then they would email you back what what are you talking about and get mad and you'd come back from going to the bathroom and there would be like five emails from somebody that's a i don't know what to say i I was very immature back then. That's probably an HR violation now, right? Probably. You're not even supposed to hover over anyone's desk,

let alone jump on their keyboard. Things were so much simpler back in the early 2000s. Last Monday night game. Now this is a Monday night game. Broncos, Raiders. Joe Flacco against Derekrick carr um john gruden by the way yeah this is maybe this is why espn like hey we got to apologize for the next game where um you know we have these crappy quote although i think flacco will be okay but you

know they basically have at espn i think like your your buddy connor shell is announcing the game like it's so late it starts what 10 20 eastern time it is liberating they could put any announcers on this game and it doesn't really matter yeah and by the way they have what is it they have they've they've oh yeah i mean mike and mike used to announce this game that's right that's right um. Chris Berman announced this game. Yeah. Saddam Hussein did this game in 2001. Yeah, he did.

He did. He did it with Frank Gifford. Speaking of Kaiser Sosa, you made a joke, but he landed on a team. He landed on a team with three quarterbacks. It's so great. Kaiser is a Raider. I remind me to put more money on the Raiders under John Gruden, who has no idea what he's doing.

And it's unclear if he's known how to coach really for the last 15 years and whether he was really good once upon a time and lost this fastball. He keeps four quarterbacks out of 53 spots. It's insane. He basically threw away two spots. He has a 51-man roster. Belichick every year says, I'm only keeping two quarterbacks unless I really don't trust my young backup or whatever. His goal every year is I just want two quarterbacks because Because if my starter gets hurt, I'm in trouble anyway. Gruden keeps four, including Kaiser

Sose, who has been one of the four worst quarterbacks in the league the last couple years. He's bad. I want him to be good every time he's on the field. It just doesn't happen. And he has Nathan Peterman. Peterman. Now, I get confused which one he doesn't like. He likes Glenn and doesn't like Peterman.

Apparently, he doesn't like either of them because he brought Kaiser Tose on the team. I mean, how do you look at the quarterbacks you have and go, well, you know, what's the downside of bringing Kaiser in? Well, the downside is you have one less defensive back if somebody gets cramps in the fourth quarter of a game. How about they cut that guy Doss, that wide receiver? I guess they're okay at receiver. He was fun to watch, wasn't he? Yeah. I don't know what to say.

And then they try to sign him to the practice squad and Jacksonville nabs him. Everyone thinks that ESPN is waiting for Romo next year, and I just feel like they're probably waiting for Gruden. Yeah. He's going to be available. I. It's going to be available. I think they're going to be terrible. I have Broncos minus one and a half

over at Oakland. Can we go Gruden, parlay Gruden, Witten back next year? I wonder what that would pay. Oh my God. What's the line for this? I'm sorry. This is the last one.

I had plus two for Oakland. You had plus one and a half. It's plus one, so you win that one. Yeah. But too little, too late, Billy. One, two, three, four, five, six. Congrats, you beat me. I'm counting the ties here.

Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven. Oh, yeah. It's like 13 to six. Wow. Jesus. I don't do better than that. Ass kicking. All right.

So we are looking at a Cowboys-Seahawks tease. Yeah, but there was another one we liked late, didn't we? Cowboys-Seahawks. I guess that's right. Yeah. I like the Colts, and I think I like the Bucks. All right. Cowboys-Seahawks.

That's what I'm looking at. I think the Sharps are going to be right on either Jacksonville or Carolina. I like the Jacks a little too. But more likely to be right on Jacksonville, I think. Yeah, if that line stays at four, that's just beautiful. Because the other thing with the Chiefs is even if they're up 10 the whole game, you can still get the cheap touchdown late against them.

It's not like they have a good defense. Yeah, for sure. Hey, it's time for Parent Corner, which is brought to you by CarMax, America's number one used car retailers. Parents, we've got enough to worry about. We don't need to stress over used car shopping. Thanks to CarMax, America's number one used car retailers. Parents, we've got enough to worry about. We don't need to stress over used car shopping. Thanks to CarMax, we don't have to.

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So easy. At CarMax, no regrets guaranteed. Check them out today at CarMax.com. You want to take the floor, Sal? Parent Corner, season five, episode two. By the way, I'll do it, but the irony is going to be we are going to be living in a car provided by CarMax because of these terrible stories we tell about our kids.

Divorces, all that stuff but um all right so this weekend i was watching the three boys and my wife was away for the weekend and you know i have to say like she does a great these kids wouldn't be alive if it weren't for her like no question to do with me at all but watching kids over the weekend versus during the week is different, right? Like during the week, you have to bring them to all kinds of practices and extracurricular activities after school. You have to do homework. It's bad. It's tough. You have to make lunches. She does a great job with that. But on the weekend, as long as there's no sports and soccer hasn't started for my little one yet, my oldest one plays football during the week. If there's no sports, that's easy pickings, right? You could just set them on their own. They're on their iPad and you feed them a couple of times a day. And that's that.

So that was my plan. So I wake up Saturday morning and I start on my book and I get done about 9 a.m., 9.30. I'm like, all right, I should go down and feed these kids. I go downstairs i say the youngest one i was like what do you want do you want cereal or oatmeal i'm praying he um doesn't say oatmeal because that involves me like putting hot water or something you know what i mean rather than just pouring cold milk into a bowl he says cereal we go through it he likes checks and i go in the pantry i go to pull out the checks and he comes behind me. He's got a full bag. He's got now an empty bag of peanut butter pretzels.

He's eaten all of these. And I was like, oh my God, he's already had breakfast on his own. He didn't wait for me. What a terrible father I am. And I'm like, oh, I'm like, look at you. You're going to be a real fatty. And he says to me, he's like, well, you're already fat and just walks away. Wow. And that was it. I was like, all right, I'm going back up to my room i'm gonna ride along i don't need to see these

little bastard kids for another three hours you just ditched them so that's it yeah not that much of a great story but you you uh you feel like it's easier on the weekends because it's really up to you how much you want to put in. Right. Oh, it's got to be easy. Because you can just throw iPads and cereal at them and basically do your own thing on a Saturday. But on like a Friday, you got to drive people places. You could also just feed them and not see them.

I could order Postmates or, you know, you could order, it could come to the door. Do you let your kids order from eating apps? I haven't yet. I'm a little worried about that you're you're at that stage now right well uh my son uh the immortal ben simmons um had a very brief postmates run that ended abruptly when guys were showing up from chipotle with one burrito and we were like all right but that's coming off your phone but uh uh so my parent corner, I want to preface this by saying that my daughter's soccer team, I think our parents are really particularly, it's a good group. We have no

bad apples. We have been trained to behave really well on the sidelines. Our coach really does believe like if we're supposed to stay quiet just cheer not tell our kids what to do all that stuff and definitely don't yell at the refs let him handle it if it gets met so we're playing this big tournament this weekend

in Oceanside and we win the first two games and we advance to the semifinals but there's still one game left on a Sunday morning. And basically it's like, all right, we'll just kick the ball around. Just try not to get anyone hurt.

It's one of those games because we got to be really ready because semifinals and the finals are on Monday. Right. So the parents from the other game in our bracket, they see we're playing this team and they're like, watch out for that team there. They'll definitely throw the elbows. They're like, oh God, here we go. So game starts, really physical, getting more and more physical.

And the lead, the center umpire, whatever he's called, the lead ref, it seems pretty young. Doesn't seem like an adult. Seems like he might be 16 or 17 max and has no idea what he's doing. It's starting to get chippier. It's starting to get chippier. Second half starts and now it's like rollerball.

And our kids are getting taken out. It's fouls left and right. At one point, I thought our midfielder, who's a nice kid, actually rolled around with their fist clenched. I thought we're actually gonna have a fight on the field. Like it was getting like that out of control and the ref's doing nothing.

We start, we're yelling. And, you know, from a parent standpoint, the only thing you want is you don't want your kid to get hurt in a game, right? So we're all like, we're reacting as parents, like you got to get control of this game. What are you doing? Now he's getting mad at us.

The other team's doing more and more. Finally, one of our kids just gets decked and her head hits the grass. Oh no. She's like kind of half crying, but really more upset. We're all going nuts. And now it's like, you know, in the NBA where it's like the trainer,

when there's a fight, the trainers pretend that they have to like make sure the players don't run on the court so they don't get suspended. So we're a combination of making sure nobody gets mad enough to actually like charge somebody. Our coach comes out and he's like the maddest I've ever seen him. He ends up getting thrown out. It's a red card. So now we're up 1-0 in this game. Now we just want it

to end. Cause it's like, somebody's going to get hurt in this game. This is crazy. It's like a 15 year old girl's soccer game. So stupid game. There's a penalty kick with like a minute left that they call us for some penalty in the box. This ref who is now like, uh, you know, he's like the 1972 Olympics basketball ref, calls this crazy penalty. And now this other team has a penalty kick with a chance to tie it. Our goalie ends up saving it. We win the game.

The ref sprints off past us to get away from us and runs to the whatever, the tent to put in the score. And our manager follows him. And I follow because I want to make sure like nothing else happens. Yeah. Go over. And the ref is basically like unraveling. Like he's in the Blair Witch Project. And he's telling our manager like, I'm sorry.

I know I didn't do my best. And it becomes clear this kid's like 15. Oh no. And somebody must've called in sick. But this is like a big tournament. Like, you have like real refs for this. And it's clear like he just shouldn't have been in this spot. And meanwhile, we almost had rollerball in this youth soccer thing.

So I'm like conflicted because I'm like, we're yelling at this guy. But we also wanted our kids to be safe. But on the other hand, we're, you know, yelling at this kid and he's 15 and whatever. So for this episode of Parent Corner, I'm not sure how I feel about this whole thing. But at one point, one of the parents on our team, because somebody was taking pictures and was like, we have pictures. And the guy looked over, was scared, like we're going to blackmail him. Meanwhile, it's just pictures of our kids getting elbowed in the back and tripped and knocked over. Yeah. Why does he have to see pictures? He lived the game, right? All right. So hearing that story, what do you think our role is

on the sidelines? A normal group of parents who are just supportive, who don't say a lot, who are now worried one of their kids are going to get hurt. How far can we go in that situation? I think, I think, first of all, I think it's very hard to see your kid get repeatedly injured or busted up and nothing being done about it. But I think you did well keeping your cool. The X factor could be the other parents. How much are they egging it on? Or are they just telling you, oh, shut up, stop being a baby? Because that could turn you nuclear. And then you lose it all. Right.

So this was, I will say the other parents did not do that, which I thought was a good thing. Well, then you did the right thing. You recognize that it was a young, overwhelmed referee and it sucked that these calls weren't made. But I think the answer is you have to send Ben Simmons to these games with his BB gun. Well,

I did. We said we had, we had this semi-final game today and we lost in penalty kicks, which was devastating. But right before the game, and I say this every year, I'm just going to say this again for everyone's benefit. You're supposed to pick a side and put your chairs on one side,

all the parents on one side, the parents from the other team are on the other side. And the reason you do this is just because if there's a situation like that game, when it turns into a roller ball, you don't want parents right next to each other because then that could, God knows what happens. Parents right near the start of the game, these two ladies put the chairs on our side.

And I kind of looked at them. I was like, you guys have to go to your side. And the lady does the eye roll and goes, Oh, really? Like, like offended that she has to go to her side. So I'm going to say this again for America's benefit.

Stay in your own fucking side. There's two sides. All the parents are on the side that, you know, you're on that side. We're on the other side. There's a midfield. There's a whole line that goes right down the middle, you're on that side. We're on the other side. There's a midfield. There's a whole line that goes right down the middle

and you're on one side or the other. You can't be on both. I like it. I like it. Sorry, I'm riled up. No, let me see. Let me ask you this. Was your side closer to the cars?

What do you mean? Well, because America's lazy and people just want to walk. They don't care where their side is. They don't want to walk. Oh, that's interesting. Usually whatever your team is warming up, you're supposed to go on that side. Yeah. Right. But I like to stay on your side thing. The moral of the story is when you have a big tournament that teams are paying like $1,300 to be in and they're traveling from Arizona and Northern California, all these different places. Don't have somebody who's the same age as the

players in the game as your lead ref. Just don't. You know what? Danny Davis' son, ref in your game for sure. Old wrestling ref. I'll tell you who's really conflicted right now is CarMax. But here's the thing, after hearing the parent quarter this week. But here's the thing, CarMax rules out millions of cars with their after hearing the parent quarter this week, but here's the thing, CarMax rules out millions of cars with their vetting process, selects only the best to become CarMax certified

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How many NFL future bets do you have? I have 36 NFL and 16 college. 16 college? Yeah. You lose in college every year. Well. You lose in college every year. Well, I lose in NFL every year. No, that's not true. Next year we'll have the XFL.

We've done okay. We have the Pats and the AFC East every year. We went on that one. That's it. We covered ourselves. Pats, Rams, what do we like?

You still haven't done that though. Pats, Rams, Chiefs to make the playoffs? I'm staying away from the Chiefs. Something scares me about them.

Oh, you like Pats Division Rams playoffs. That's what you like. I think that playoffs? I'm staying away from the Chiefs. Something scares me about them. You like Pat's division Rams playoffs. That's what you like. I think that's where I'm landing. All right. And I think the Seahawks to make the playoffs I've been looking at too. Looking good now. I do. I'm with you.

I think their defense is going to be really good. And Russell Hustle and Bustle, who I've been with all decade. Yeah. There you go. It's a weird team. I think you're right about the number two receiver on that team, especially with DK Metcalf being banged up a little bit. But they run more than any other team anyway, so you just have to get used to watching a different game. How long do you think our draft goes tomorrow?

It could go three and a goes tomorrow? It could go three and a half hours. It could go eight minutes before the authorities are called. I don't know. I recommended a security booth coming in. Should I get the 15 year old ref to be the auctioneer? You could just start screaming at him? That's a good call. Make sure. Do we have sides?

I think he's right. Stay on your side. We do need sides. I'm going to pick a side. You stay. Everyone has to be on his side. He has his own side and there are two other sides. All right. What do you have to plug? Against the Lods, Wednesday night, we're going to preview the three NFL big games and Heisman picks and best bets locking in 430 to 530 Eastern on FS1 Monday through Friday.

Jimmy Kimmel Live at 1135 tonight and every weeknight. Sal, good job by you. Good job by you. Thanks to ZipRecruiter. Don't forget to go to ziprecruiter.com slash BS. Thanks to FanDuel. Don't forget about our new Ringer Listener League on FanDuel. FanDuel.com

slash Ringer. Thanks to Allbirds. I'm looking down at my feet right now. The new Trino Socks. They combine everything you love about Allbirds shoes, which have been called the most comfortable in the world. Available in three different silhouettes,

crew socks, no-shows, and quarter lengths. Trino Socks will match perfectly with your merino wool shoes or your tree shoes by Allbirds. Get your own pair of the new Trino Socks. Socks at Allbirds. Get your own pair of the Neutrino socks. Socks at allbirds.com. And thanks to Square. I think this is the first podcast Square has been on. Nice to have Square.

I feel like Square has been in my life for a couple of years. It's more than a little white credit card reader. It's a whole system of tools built to run and grow any kind of business from point of sale and payroll to invoices and online stores. Go to square.com slash go slash BS to see all the ways you can take your business from square one to whatever's next. You can be like Alexis, the lady that cuts my hair. Yeah, she's a square.

It's great. We have two more podcasts this week. And the rewatchable is 1999, Eyes Wide Shut. That's dropping as well. So that's all. I've got a lot of audio for you this week. Getting ready for football Thursday night. We are ready.

All right.