The Bill Simmons Podcast - The Pats and Cowboys Suck, Fantasy Football Sucks, and Gambling Sucks With Cousin Sal | The Bill Simmons Podcast (Ep. 456)

Episode Date: December 17, 2018

HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to wrap up a bad day of betting. They discuss Seahawks-49ers, Rams-Eagles, Patriots-Steelers, Cowboys-Colts, Chargers-Chiefs, and the playoff ...picture (2:20). Then they guess the NFL lines for Week 16, and bring in Bill's son, Ben, for this week's Parent Corner (51:10). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Today's very somber episode of the Bill Simmons podcast brought to you by ZipRecruiter. You know what's not smart? Caring about football. You know what else isn't smart? Job sites that overwhelm you with tons of the wrong resumes. Luckily, there's a smart way at ZipRecruiter.com slash BS. They find people with the right skills for your job. They actively invite them to apply. My listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free at ZipRecruiter.com slash BS. ZipRecruiter is the smartest way to hire. Meanwhile, SeatGeek, the best app for buying and selling tickets
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Starting point is 00:00:46 I don't know what to tell you. I thought you'd been listening for a while. We're also brought to you by TheRinger.com where you can find a basketball piece for me that will be written. It's going up this week. Yeah. My fingers still work apparently. I was worried. So that's happening. The Rewatchables, two episodes left. We have Con Air coming this week. We taped that one and we taped Tombstone, which is going to run Christmas week. So Con Air and Tombstone for the Rewatchables, which was named a best of 2018 podcast by Apple.
Starting point is 00:01:19 So there you go. Tombstone, a week from now. Con Air this week. Con Air is... Kyle, have you seen Con Air? I've seen Con Air. Con Air this week. Con Air is... Kyle, have you seen Con Air? I've seen Con Air. I've seen it. So people think Godfather is the greatest movie ever made.
Starting point is 00:01:31 I think it's Con Air. Really? Yeah. I think it's Con Air. Do you talk about that on the pod? Yeah, we do. We debate Godfather, some of the other all-time classics, and then Con Air.
Starting point is 00:01:41 It's so good. I forgot how great it was. That's happening. Coming up, The Cuz is going to come on and we are going to commiserate about all kinds of horrible things that happened in week 15. We're going to do a little parent corner. I might actually pull my son into parent corner and he's going to do his Christmas list, which is really great. So stay tuned for that. First, our friends from Pearl Jam. All right. The cause is on the line. I hate everything, Sal.
Starting point is 00:02:27 I hate absolutely everything. I hate football. I hated the last 11 hours. I don't like what happened. I don't know how to move forward. Let's start there. I don't know how to help you either. This is one of those days where you watch football and you're like, I think this resembles the game I've been viewing for the last, you know, 40 years
Starting point is 00:02:46 or so, but nothing really added up. Your team, my team, that atrocity we just watched on Sunday night, I don't get it, and all our money's gone. And my fantasy season's over. Oh, not so fast,
Starting point is 00:03:01 not so fast. And my Brady Belichick era might be over. Other than that, it was a great day. We ordered from Castles. Or Cassells? It's Castles? I think it's Cassells, right? Cassells. In LA. And I just had a patty melt. I had a milkshake. I had some fries.
Starting point is 00:03:18 Oh, boy. Yeah, it was just one of those nights. A lot of those things you're mentioning are including free, I think. No, I didn't care. I didn't care. I just't care. I just didn't. I'm just down. The quarterbacks were really bad today, and what was weird was Nick Foles
Starting point is 00:03:33 was really good, and it actually got me thinking, I don't know, if you're an Eagles fan, how do you feel about this Nick Foles thing? Yeah, I don't know what to think about it other than he seems to it's a weird thing i feel like i've seen the same play over and over a guy's right in his face actually right on his arm like underneath his armpit and it not only doesn't
Starting point is 00:03:54 slow down his pass or you know but it's right on and that combined with the fact that the rams were playing some kind of prevent defense i had never Seen before you could allow two Wide receivers get 10 yards Beyond the free safety and The cornerback was covering the other wide receiver That was a nice combination For the Eagles tonight Wow that's yeah I had them
Starting point is 00:04:17 Tied to everything every Pete teaser every Moneyline parlay disgraceful My plan was after the Seahawks beat the Niners, I was going to take the Eagles plus 13 because I actually thought that line was too high. It got to a point where it was like, alright, this is now ridiculous. And I never got there
Starting point is 00:04:34 because I don't even know where to start with things I can't understand about today but I think the single most inexplicable game was the Niners wanting to beat Seattle. Forget about how bad Seattle was and all the different stupid ways they tried to lose that game. But the Niners, they have really no incentive at all,
Starting point is 00:04:56 and they actually had a real chance to get the number one seed. And they're celebrating like they won the Super Bowl, and I get it. Sports is a competition. But they have their third-string quarterback. It's a pouring rain, and they were playing like it was, honestly, like the Super Bowl for them. It was a credit to them. It was a credit to their coaching
Starting point is 00:05:13 staff, but all Seattle had to do was win by a point, and they make the playoffs. What was your explanation for that game? Well, my explanation is I try to call you off that if you text exchange. I know. Like the Seahawks don't need it. They're like two games up, a game and a half up on the wild card. They did need it though.
Starting point is 00:05:29 They do need it. They needed it. Yeah. Well now they need it. They need the next one. They needed the game. They play Kansas City next week. It was, they scored.
Starting point is 00:05:38 They're going to get in. They're going to get in with a, a, a, well, I guess they didn't take it. Yeah. It's so funny when. They'll get nine. It's like, uh, like. Well, I guess eight and six. Yeah. It's so funny when it's like, uh, like in the Netflix horror movies when in the first 20 minutes they go in the attic and they find something and you just kind of know something's,
Starting point is 00:05:53 something's wrong. Like they found some chest. The equivalent of that is when you bet on a team, everything's going well and they missed the extra point and it's six, nothing instead of 7-0. That is the equivalent of the attic with the evil coins that you shouldn't touch. Once that happens, I'm like, oh, no, here we go. Next play, kickoff, Niners guys running back. Jay Nikowski is the last guy in it,
Starting point is 00:06:19 and I don't even know how to describe what he did. He looked like somebody who was trying to beat a car that was about to hit him. Right. And just like almost dove out of the way. Like he didn't realize he could actually touch the guy. We were talking about that. And you don't see kickers have back-to-back bad plays. Because if you miss a field goal, you don't kick off, you know?
Starting point is 00:06:41 So he misses the extra point. And then, I don't know. Yeah, he's got 200 pounds on him. Just, just lay down on the field. Um, and you're fine. He was like, he was like sitting on the bench by the time the guy scored, ran that back. It was like, he didn't want to get hurt. Right. And, uh, I don't know. I, I, they made the PATs more exciting a couple of years ago. They moved them back. I now hate them more than ever. Like,
Starting point is 00:07:05 just get rid of them. Let's just do two point across the board. It feels like half the time these guys are missing the PATs. I know that's not the actual stat, but. Right. I want to do, that's one of the things I want to ask God when I go to heaven and you better believe I'm going to heaven. But when I go, I want to ask, Hey, with these missed extra points, as far as my gambling goes, I'm on the wrong side way more than the right side. Why am I on the wrong side 90% of the time? Right. I just need that answer. And then wherever you want to send me, that's fine.
Starting point is 00:07:34 Who was the guy? I watched so much football the last two days. It all blended together. Who was the guy who missed two extra points? The Jets guy? Yeah, it was the Jets guy. Yeah, Myers. And they were just singing his praises
Starting point is 00:07:45 and I had checked his stats too. I was like, wow, in our fantasy league. I was like, nobody has this guy and he's the number one kicker in the league. He's a free agent.
Starting point is 00:07:52 Much better than last year. And then, yeah, then he missed two extra points. I pick against the Texans every week. Sometimes I gamble against them. And every week they beat me
Starting point is 00:08:01 and I'm even more convinced next week is going to be the week when I'm going to beat them. If you watch that Jets game closely, the Texans somehow covered. They were favored by like, what, six? They covered. They won by
Starting point is 00:08:13 seven. I have no idea how they won by seven. I watched the whole game. It honestly seemed like the Jets were controlling the game and the Texans made a couple of big plays, but they couldn't run the ball. Hopkins had to make these superhuman plays just to keep them around. Man, that was frustrating.
Starting point is 00:08:30 And you kept thinking, it's one thing if Darnold throws his pick, this seems like a nice spot middle of the fourth quarter where he does it. He didn't. He actually did well. One of his better games, I think. Yeah, I liked how he played.
Starting point is 00:08:41 He's not there yet because he doesn't have weapons. And it's really hard to tell how good he is But I was impressed He's got a little spirit to him He definitely has a little charisma I'm not wavering on my Barkley over Darnold thing But I'd say at least I'm a little worried about it I've been wrong about everything else
Starting point is 00:08:59 Man, that Giants thing was very strange Talk about a team that didn't They played like a team playing for the number one draft pick right there. Like, someone must have smacked them and said, hey, what are we doing here? We want to end up in the top five. Didn't even score a point. Eli's been pretty consistently abominable,
Starting point is 00:09:20 but then he'll have little stretches when he's not abominable, and then people are like, Oh, Eli, you know, and it's, and then he'll have entire games when he's abominable. Well, I'm not saying I fight with a lot of people about this. I think he's rookie there for sure. Offensive. He's not an MVP, but that this is a good indication of what happens when he can't get out. When he gets bottled up in 31 rushing, I think like 20, 25 receiving, and they scored zero points.
Starting point is 00:09:48 Not even like don't compete a little bit, but nothing. Not even close. There was some really bad offense. In fact, the early games today were, I don't even think we had one close one. Right? Everything was pretty much wrapped up. Packers-Bears was threatening to be maybe close, but it ended up not being close.
Starting point is 00:10:10 Somehow I get set. We get seven screens the way we arrange it, and Bills-Lions wasn't on one of them, and the Redskins game wasn't on one of them. I think those were the two best or at least closest games. Yeah, the Bills won but didn't cover. Josh Allen is just flat out exciting
Starting point is 00:10:25 it's like having we always wonder what would happen if a running black played quarterback and now we get to find out every week with him
Starting point is 00:10:32 I actually enjoy watching him the games are bad I start him in like daily fantasy now and don't even give it a second thought really
Starting point is 00:10:39 yeah he's good so from a quarterback standpoint if the listeners are like, why aren't they talking about the Cowboys and the Patriots? Because I'm not ready yet.
Starting point is 00:10:50 I'm not ready to talk about it. I'm just trying to duck it. From a quarterback standpoint, the ones today, if you go through, I mean, really the mediocrity has never been more apparent. I don't know if it was a cold weather thing or what, but Goff was somebody that I felt like was now upper echelon. Remember, he was kind of lingering in the MVP conversation a little bit. I felt like he single-handedly lost that game for them today.
Starting point is 00:11:19 He was so bad. He made so many bad throws. He missed open receivers left and right and just looked nervous. And their defense obviously wasn't that good either, but the plays were there. It was like he was afraid to go deep, and then when he had receivers, he wasn't always hitting them, and he was really sloppy with the ball. He threw for 339 yards, threw 54 times, did not have a touchdown.
Starting point is 00:11:46 Two picks. And two really bad picks, actually. One of them was like a junior high school pick. I tweeted that Jared Goff is playing quarterback like a guy named Jared Goff would play quarterback. It was really, really bad. And I was thinking,
Starting point is 00:12:02 wow, I wonder if Foles is better than Wentz. I'm like, wow, Foles might be better is better than Wentz. I'm like, wow, Foles might be better than Goff too. I don't know what I'm watching here, but this is, this is really something else. But yeah, that play where his,
Starting point is 00:12:11 the center stepped on his foot and then he's going down and he was almost down. Like he would have been out of the play. They would add a punt. And then he just like flings it and it gets intercepted. Like, oh, this is definitely the Eagles night.
Starting point is 00:12:23 Give me a live money line here. I don't know what know what's going on. Then Gurley gets hurt. It was a big mess. I think the one thing I'm going to file away for next year is don't do any parlays in Week 15. Just don't. Week 15?
Starting point is 00:12:35 Yeah, Week 15, just don't. Seems like weird stuff happens. Meanwhile, every favorite won early on. You talk about those early games? Every single favorite won. Not in cover, but one. Then you get to the late afternoon, Seahawks lose to the Niners, and your Patriots lose, and now the Rams.
Starting point is 00:12:53 So the last three were the only dogs to win. And those were all, I would say, three of the six or seven best teams. Yeah, and that's where everyone got their money. Where did the Patriot line end up at? Patriot line ended up, it was a solid three. Man, I mean, it is crazy. I've been saying this for weeks, and people think I've been too negative with the Pats,
Starting point is 00:13:16 about the Pats this year. Now I guess not. I guess they know what I was talking about. The Pats aren't very good, and we're going to talk about them in a second, but the Steelers ran all over them with their third string running back today. And they had a drive that started at the one yard line
Starting point is 00:13:33 and it was, dude, Samuels is a fifth rounder and Steven Ridley, who I got to be honest, I didn't know really was still in the NFL. And it seems like we waived him 20 years ago. He just came back to play against the Patriots. He's gone. Don't let him go now. I think he, I mean, he was so far gone when he was in the Patriots.
Starting point is 00:13:56 Like I think he roomed with Aaron Hernandez in like 2011. It was just crazy to watch the Steelers run over them because it really seemed like Roethlisberger was hurt. I mean, the ball was sailing all over the place with them. Yeah, I think Le'Veon Bell takes yet another hit in his new contract negotiations with whichever team he ends up with. But yeah, Samuels, like you said,
Starting point is 00:14:16 I don't even think he had 20 carries, but 140 yards. And they were good, but what continues to shock me is why can't guys like gronk get open like i the hogan play for the touchdown is one that that's that's patriot football that's what i think i see more but why isn't gronk getting open why didn't like white drop a pat there was just some weird weird things that the patriots don't normally do um well first of all edelman had two massive drops in that game. And Gordon had one too, right?
Starting point is 00:14:47 Gordon had a big drop, but Edelman had two uncharacteristic kind of drive-killing drops. And when I FaceTimed my dad during the game and he was bitching, he was like, Edelman, two drops. But he was right. I mean, they really killed the momentum and they were the kind of plays that he's been making for most of his career before he got hurt. The Gronk thing though, I think that ship has pretty much
Starting point is 00:15:10 sailed. I think it is what it is now. He can't get separation anymore. This was the worst out of all of them. I know you've been saying it for months. He can't get open anymore. He can still catch the ball in traffic and he can still, if he's open, can get it and turn around and the safety dives at his legs and he just goes
Starting point is 00:15:27 down. But the, uh, the days of runaway freight train Gronk are long gone. And they, you know, this is, if you watched every Patriot game this year, this is how he played today was how he's played the whole season. They do, they did take them out of the garage in the second half and tried to run some plays of them. But you know, there's some weird stuff going on. James White was so important in the first eight to ten games.
Starting point is 00:15:50 Now it's this three running back rotation again. There's a lot of Rex Burkhead and his 4-8-40. That's weird. Gordon, this was the first really big road game that he's played in and he wasn't available today, apparently. Yeah. If you thought, like I road game that he's played in, and he wasn't available today, apparently.
Starting point is 00:16:06 Yeah. If you thought, like I told you before the game, hey, Steelers only scoring 17 points, how much are we putting on the pads? Yeah. I think you'd be right there with me for a while. Yeah. I mean, everybody's scoring in the Steelers and moving the ball, but the elephant in the room is Brady, who has been a B-minus this year.
Starting point is 00:16:26 He's had hour-long stretches where he's looked really good, but for the most part has not really been that good. And it was hard to tell the difference between the weapons that he had available versus the consistency of his play. But I got to say, today was the first day that I really felt like he looked like a 41 year old quarterback, not in the sense of like, from a talent standpoint, didn't seem like he wanted to get hit today. Yeah. There were, there were plays when he was jerking his body away from pass rushes that weren't even really there. You know, he, he just
Starting point is 00:17:03 seemed for lack of a better word, jittery. And this is a guy who, I'm going to say, you know, what was that, Denver AFC title game, 2000. It was the year before they beat Atlanta when they lost in Denver. And he just took an insane amount of punishment in that game. He must have been hit 35 times in that game. And I think he had a concussion. And he just kept staying in the pocket and taking the hits.
Starting point is 00:17:25 Doesn't seem like he's as interested in taking the hits anymore. And I don't blame him. He's had an unbelievable career. He's been around for two decades. And he's made a ton of money. But this was the first game where I really felt like he just wasn't staying in there. And he was a lot of throwing balls, falling back.
Starting point is 00:17:42 I mean, that last play, the game-ending play, he kind of had Edelman open, and he just fell to the side and winged it, and it was terrible. All three of those passes were terrible. Well, if you look at his numbers, they're not going to be as bad as – I don't know. He has 4,000 yards almost, I think, right now. He'll end up with probably 4,500.
Starting point is 00:18:02 Nine interceptions is high for him, I think, for sure. But he'll end up with probably 4,500. Nine interceptions is high for him, I think, for sure. But he'll end up with 28, 29 touchdown passes. Well, I think what we've seen... That much worse. You know, I watched the whole Packers game today. And Rodgers, he has that interception streak where he had to throw an interception forever. And he was like eight for eight in that game.
Starting point is 00:18:20 If you watch that game carefully, he didn't play that well. And he missed open guys. He had guys. He missed a touchdown when it should have been... Yeah, Rodgers. Oh, God, yeah. game if you watch that game carefully he didn't play that well and he missed open guys he had guys he missed a touchdown when it should have been rogers yeah rogers he should have been seven seven he missed the guy who was open instead at seven three he missed another guy for a touchdown he missed some deep balls and he's another guy who doesn't seem like he really is that interested in getting hit and uh there might be, 12 guys now in the playoffs I'd want starting in the playoffs more than Aaron Rodgers.
Starting point is 00:18:48 I had the Bears' money line today. I was never really worried that he was going to come back. He didn't have a terrible game. And the reason I brought him up was because you talked about how Brady's going to throw for 4,000 yards. I think, if this is right, it says Brady has 3,700 and Rodgers has 3,700. I think that was before today. That was before today.
Starting point is 00:19:10 So they're right around 4,000. It's got close to 4,000, Brady. Yeah. And Brady was heading into today 23 TDs, 8 picks. Rodgers is 23 TDs, 1 pick. But if you actually watch them play in, play out, it's certainly not a vintage season for either of them to say the least.
Starting point is 00:19:27 No. And I thought Brady really hurt the past today. The drops hurt him. No question. But, um, he was not good. And the coaching was really bad too. I just, I thought they were going to come out in that, uh, no huddle attack, attack, attack, use James White.
Starting point is 00:19:44 Where was James White today? That was weird, too. James White, you know, people were talking about him. He was the best kind of third down back the Pats have ever had. He's been kind of pushed out. So it was this guy. I think Brady got 1,000 yards rushing. What was that, last week, the week before?
Starting point is 00:20:02 And that's it. That's all he's ever wanted. 1,000 quarterback sneaks. They had a chance to end the Steelers today. It was that, last week, the week before? And that's it. That's all he ever wanted. A thousand quarterback sneaks. They had a chance to end the Steelers today. It was sitting there. They had a chance to end the Steelers. That was done. The Steelers were going home. The interception that he threw
Starting point is 00:20:16 was really especially reprehensible and very un-Brady-like. And it wasn't great. Let's take a break and talk about your team. Hey, let's face it. Guys are terrible at taking care of their health. Studies show 70% of guys who experience erectile dysfunction don't get treated for it. As I keep saying, ED is like a check engine light for a man's body. It could be an indicator there's something more serious going on, like a heart issue or diabetes. Thankfully, our sponsor, Roman, has created an easy, discreet
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Starting point is 00:21:42 All right. So if we learned anything about week 15, it was that all the teams that were having smoke blowing up their rectums could not handle all the smoke in their rectum. And I would include the Dallas Cowboys on that list. Oh, we don't have you. Why don't you do another read?
Starting point is 00:21:57 Read another ad. We don't have to talk about it. We'll do another one? Yeah, do a couple more. Let's talk about rectum smokers. It is the new smoke up the ass app. So you got shut out. It was really bad for gamblers before going to Cowboys.
Starting point is 00:22:12 Yeah. You were going to have the Chiefs and the Rams, right? We're going to have the Chiefs and the Rams probably both every week. So we got slaughtered. But I did think the Cowboys, I did not think they'd lose 23-0. But I was a firm believer in this whole, we don't need this game, and God knows Jason Garrett is not going to get the Cowboys up for a game they don't need, and it's going to show. But, you know, there was some nice things that, you know, the defense hadn't allowed
Starting point is 00:22:39 a first quarter touchdown since week seven. That was out early. The Prescott, that pass and the drop on the, was it third and goal, and then they went for it on fourth and goal, that little out route to the fullback, that was bad. And then Zeke gets bottled up. But, yeah, bad, bad, bad offensive performance. Not fun watching Dak out there trying to move the ball.
Starting point is 00:23:02 And the Colts are all right. They ran all over the Cowboys. Marlon Mack is good. T.Y. Hilton gets open almost every play. I don't know what to say other than, you know, Zeke Elliott says we need this. This is going to be great for us. So a couple more shutouts and think of how great that will be.
Starting point is 00:23:20 Then we'll be really set. I had a – Before, like the cowboys going into this were um eight and five right yeah and you had the eagles who were in 13 point underdog and the redskins who are seven point underdog which division is going to take care of itself both those teams win and now it's uh now you have to win a game or two. The good news is you're home for Tampa next week. Yeah. And then you're playing at Giants Stadium
Starting point is 00:23:50 in week 17. Right. That is setting up for that could be a fun game. At the Giants? Well, because... Yeah, guess what? The Giants fans will be real excited to knock you out of the playoffs. Oh, yeah. They'll be showing up in force.
Starting point is 00:24:05 And you have the whole Saquon thing to worry about because he is the guy. He's almost like the Anthony Davis type NBA player. Like at any game, he could have 48 points and 20 rebounds. Right. You just don't know when it is and you hope it's not your day. It's interesting though. Washington and Philly play in week 17. So they're both 7-7.
Starting point is 00:24:24 Washington's at Tennessee. Philly's home for Houston. And then they play each other in Washington in week 17. If the Cowboys beat Tampa, Philly can't catch the Cowboys, I don't think. Can Washington catch them, though?
Starting point is 00:24:39 Washington, I don't know where that tiebreaker goes, because they're both 9-7, you're saying? What if it's a three-way? I guess it can't be, because Washington. Yeah, yeah, it's impossible for. Yeah, but you're right. If it goes Cowboys-Giants and they need that game, you're going to see Odell's going to play,
Starting point is 00:24:55 no matter what kind of injury he's been nursing the last month or so. And that's going to be a very tough road game to win. And then New Orleans now in the driver's seat for the one seed. Yeah. They are at Carolina Monday night and then home for Pittsburgh and home for Carolina. Rams are at Zona, home for San Francisco. The Rams really pooped the bed in this.
Starting point is 00:25:16 This is everybody's beatable week, right? This is what we learn. Usually you learn something, take something from every week. Everybody's beatable. I will say Collinsworth made a great point. He was talking about how the Rams are just starting to get banged up now. And they don't have a lot of depth because of the way they approached this season where they kind of went all in on these guys.
Starting point is 00:25:37 And he made the point, like, this is why Belichick, you know, year after year after year, he cares about the depth more than going all in on guys. Because injuries happen every year, and by week 16, 17, 18, you're not playing the best 22 guys in your team anymore. You're now dipping into the next 15 guys. Right. And I don't know enough about the Rams personnel
Starting point is 00:26:01 to have an opinion on what kind of danger zone they're in right now. But I do know that they don't have anyone even remotely close to Gurley when he's banged up. And, and, you know, they miss Cooper cup. I actually thought that's the big thing.
Starting point is 00:26:16 Yeah. They haven't been the same since he's been out. They haven't. And then defensively, you know, we always say this with football. You just need to kind of get it going in January. But they look a lot more vulnerable than I expected.
Starting point is 00:26:32 I'm disappointed in Wade Phillips. I don't know. And especially with a keep to lead back in the last couple weeks. I don't know what that team is doing defensively. Like, they're not applying any pressure that you would think against these teams. Against Foles. Like, get them rattled. I don't know what the hell. It's the run games that
Starting point is 00:26:47 you look at the Eagles, they just have I would say one of the worst running back crews in the league. They're running the ball on the rims. It's embarrassing. Wendell Smallwood? Did you trade Chris Carson? He ends up being a pivotal player in our fantasy playoffs now. I guess.
Starting point is 00:27:04 He wouldn't have helped me today. He helped the other team. He's going to be mad at you. No, he really shouldn't be. This is it. I know I say this every year, but I really think this is it. I think I'm done. I had the best fantasy team I've had in 11 years,
Starting point is 00:27:20 and right now every guy on my team has played, and I'm at 62.5 points. Well, hold on. But that's not saying the whole story. You had 62.55. Your opponent is at 62.5. He has Drew Brees. It's not over yet. It's not over yet. If Drew Brees gets kidnapped before tomorrow by aliens, I have a chance. Or if he's warming up before the game and something pops in his elbow. It's really fantasy miracle time. But I'm not the only one who got murdered by this. This is why fantasy football is so stupid.
Starting point is 00:27:56 I had Adam Thielen and Keenan Allen who had a combined two points. I had Jared Goff who threw for 340 yards and somehow had 15 points. I had George Cato at 5 points I had Damian Williams on my bench For 24 points I just hate fantasy football Sal I don't want to do it, I don't enjoy it Why do I do it? What's fun about it?
Starting point is 00:28:16 You ran a poll that said I know this wouldn't have mattered either But you asked And it was more of a humble brag Look I got Phillip Rivers I got Tom Brady I got Jared Goff I got Tom Brady. No, it was not a humble brag. I got Jared Goff.
Starting point is 00:28:26 Who should I start? You didn't know who to start. I didn't know who to start out of those three. And then the public told you to start Philly Rivers, and you didn't do it. Yeah, but he only had like 21 points. It was a seven-point difference. I would have been able to watch the first quarter tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:28:41 I hate fantasy football. I put up, me and Hench had the two best teams this year. Neither of us are going to break 70. Yeah. It's embarrassing. Screw this. Screw this fake sport. I'm just, I'm in for daily fantasy now.
Starting point is 00:28:54 That's it. It is bad. I'm turning my soul over to FanDuel. By the way, speaking of Todd Gurley, the greatest fantasy player that was traded away in our league, what is he doing not getting out of bounds there? Two players didn't get out of bounds in that last drive. Is he really cutting it in thinking he's going to score there?
Starting point is 00:29:12 What was that? What do you think the Eagles could get for Wentz? Could they get two firsts for him? Oh, I don't know. I don't know. By the way. Cowboys might take him from two first.
Starting point is 00:29:27 All I have, the Eagles took, they took my Super Bowl. Their fans are obnoxious and now my team isn't going to win the Super Bowl this year either. All I have is,
Starting point is 00:29:36 is to start fake Wentz trade rumors. I'm just going to create a series of fake email accounts and just go on different Reddit sites and pretend I know people when I'm hearing this.
Starting point is 00:29:45 I just want to cause tension. I would trade Wentz. Yeah, do that. The Raiders offered two ones. They have four ones. They offered two for Wentz. That's pretty good. Hey, Wentz can't stay in the field.
Starting point is 00:29:57 Nick Foles has God with him. He's like the guy in Hoosiers. He does the prayer before he goes in. What was that guy's name? Not Fletch. Strap. Strap. He has his hand in the huddle a little extra,
Starting point is 00:30:12 and then he goes, he's crashing the boards because God's with him. Nick Foles, God behind him, man. You can't stop that. I don't know. They look like a different team. They turn the gambling gods on me. That's for sure. They look like a different team.
Starting point is 00:30:25 Kevin Clark has this weird theory that Kevin Clark, I'm sure he's talking about this on the Ring Around NFL show, that when there's a 15% chance for something to happen, that's usually like the sign it's actually going to happen. And the Eagles had a 15% chance to make the playoffs heading into that game. Oh, wow. He said his other cases were Donald Trump, the Pats being down 28 to three in the Super Bowl,
Starting point is 00:30:51 and there was like three others. But he was like, it's his 15% chance. Is he saying exactly 15? It has to be 15%. If the win probability or the odds or whatever is 15%, that means it's going to happen. Is he keeping track of the other times it loses? Like, overwhelming? He doesn't talk about those times.
Starting point is 00:31:08 All right. He just talks about when it happens. By the way, as we're taping this, the Miss Universe pageant is on Fox right now, and Steve Harvey's hosting. Oh, is he really? How? Steve Harvey had the biggest screw-up
Starting point is 00:31:20 in the history of television on this show. Yeah. And don't you lose your job for that? No, that's the only reason anyone's tuning in is if he does it again, right? You know why I put it on? Because nephew Kyle, his on-again, off-again girlfriend, who for some reason it's now on again,
Starting point is 00:31:36 she just left and the Pat's lost and he's a little down in the dumps. And what's really keeping his spirits up right now- It's Ms. Venezuela. Ms. Venezuela is really keeping his spirits up, yeah. Yeah's Miss Venezuela. Miss Venezuela is really keeping his spirits up. Yeah, but they don't want to. They wear, like, trench coats now, right? You don't ever see any of them.
Starting point is 00:31:51 Yeah, well, the trench coat competition, they just had it, actually. It was great. Yeah, Miss Venezuela got the highest score. Harry, on Against the Laws last week or a couple weeks ago, gave out Miss Thailand at, like, 30-1. And when she went down to 16-1,
Starting point is 00:32:04 he considered it a huge victory. But I don't think she was even close to placing in it. He had thoughts on the Miss Universe pageant? Yeah, he did a little more research than he probably should have. How do you research the Miss Universe pageant? I don't know. He has some affliction with thailand i think you liked it we went out we all went out to dinner to celebrate uh the against all odds years you were gracious enough
Starting point is 00:32:34 to take out the producers and a couple other people and then uh and then harry told us the story of how your friend ken fired him and then rehired him and fired him. And they were on the phone for 10 straight hours. And we talked about this probably for 45 minutes straight at dinner, trying to figure out how two grown men could be on the phone together for 10 hours. And we didn't come up with a resolution is why I bring it up. I should let you know, I approached Ken with this and I told him it was 10 and he was very upset that Harry's going around telling people it was 10 when it was seven hours. It was seven hours.
Starting point is 00:33:09 I want to make that clarification. These two grown men spoke on the phone for seven hours. They're friends from college. One works for the other now, but they yelled at each other for seven hours. And one was in Hawaii. And then, yeah. And then Ken was upset that you talked about this on your podcast. Yeah, right.
Starting point is 00:33:27 But now we're talking about it on my podcast too. Right. So now he's going to be really upset. He's going to be even more upset when we hit the parent corner future, but you'll like it. So anyway, that was a highlight, and I'm glad I should have had Harry on to talk about the Miss Universe thing. Do you have a great call of the week?
Starting point is 00:33:45 I don't know if it's great, but I think, do you want to set this up? Yeah, sure. I'll set it up. Whatever. Crown Royal is doing something pretty cool this football season. They launched a responsible drinking campaign called the Water Break. It's about encouraging people to hydrate between drinks for a better experience, whether at the game, watching at home, or in the bar.
Starting point is 00:34:10 Have a great time. Enjoy some crown. Don't be that person. That ruins it for everyone. We've all seen that guy who drank too much watching the game. Make the right call. Take a water break. What do you got for the right call this week?
Starting point is 00:34:22 Well, the right call, the wrong call is not going to, and I like this all the time when a team changes offensive coordinators, the next game they usually break out. And that's what the freaking Vikings did. 41-17, they beat the Dolphins. My right call goes to the Vikings front office. They get rid of John DeFilippo. They replace him with Kevin Stefanski.
Starting point is 00:34:41 They love this guy. He's been the quarterback coach for a while. They stopped him from going with Pat Shermer to the Giants. 36 years old. He's going to be a head coach in the league next year. He'll probably go to the Browns or the Jets, maybe the Bucs, but he's very good with young quarterbacks. And the Vikings front office, they get my good call of the week.
Starting point is 00:35:03 Probably should have been on the Vikings today. So bad. I had a little on the Dolph I probably should have been on the Vikings today. So bad. I had a little on the Dolphins, not knowing that Kenny Stills was out. The line was so high, I got suspicious, and I had to throw a little toke of parlay. So bad watching Tannehill. My right call of the week goes to myself. We were at a party.
Starting point is 00:35:20 You were there. It was Wednesday night. Thursday night. No, Wednesday night, our agent, James Babydoll Dixon was Wednesday night. Thursday night. No, Wednesday night. Our agent, James Babydoll Dixon. Wasn't it Wednesday night? What do you mean? Oh, that party.
Starting point is 00:35:29 Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Wednesday night, all the extended Kimmel family was at this. It was a work party. Who had the party? What do you mean? Who was there?
Starting point is 00:35:41 Jimmy's production partner. Yeah. Wheelhouse. Yeah. Wheelhouse. Wheelhouse. Yeah, Wheelhouse. Mm-hmm. So we're hanging out with James Babydoll Dixon. He's had a couple. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:35:51 You see Maverick Carter coming toward us, LeBron's business partner. He hasn't even reached our circle yet, and Babydoll's probably three people away. And I think I said it to you. If it wasn't you, it was somebody else, but I think I said it to you. If it wasn't you, it was somebody else. But I'm pretty sure it was you. Wasn't you? Or maybe it was Louis. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:36:12 What'd you say? I predicted that Babydoll would tell Maverick Carter that they've met before, get upset when Maverick Carter couldn't remember meeting him before, and then spend the next three minutes berating him. how, no, no, you remember, you remember, and just go over and over again how they'd met before, which is a move that he's done over and over again, most famously with Oprah Winfrey and Jimmy Kimmel's dressing room that time. Can you do that story before I continue this one?
Starting point is 00:36:41 All I remember from that is he was trying to get in Oprah's good graces and said uh you met me before right i was with john stewart the other game we play is how long it takes for him when he's talking to someone important uh before he brings up john stewart uh so it's usually about 18 19 seconds but you remember me baby i was on with john stewart i brought him by yeah i represent him okay yeah i represent him and he's like all right okay oh the other thing is i'm going to africa this summer and she's like well what do we well why would i care you make schools there and stuff right so yeah that's his typical uh greeting to celebrities so he introduces himself to maverick maverick says hey maverick makes the fatal mistake of saying hey it's nice to meet you, which sets Baby off.
Starting point is 00:37:26 And he does the, no, no, we've met before. We met before like three years ago, it starts. And Maverick is LeBron's business partner. He meets a lot of people. And Baby, for some reason, thinks that when he meets people, it's this life-altering experience. And they can remember the time and the place and all the circumstances around it. So then the next three minutes were him explaining to maverick
Starting point is 00:37:50 the last time they met which i'm pretty sure is the second most boring conversation you can hear anybody have other than complaining about their fantasy team which i just did 10 minutes ago so i don't have a point my point is my red call of the week was being able to sense it before it even developed. I saw Maverick wasn't even over yet. And I knew what baby was going to do. And I was really proud of myself. Poor Maverick. And by the way, this goes to anyone out there.
Starting point is 00:38:18 It's so easy. All you have to do is say, nice to see you. And that covers everything. Like, oh, yeah, nice to see you. Yeah, nice to see you leaves it open covers everything. Like, oh yeah, nice to see you. Nice to see you leaves it open that you might have met them before. They have met you. Maybe this is the first time we're meeting. It's fine. Covers everything. Well, my issue is I basically
Starting point is 00:38:33 have meeting Alzheimer's. I have no idea who I met and I barely remember what I did six hours ago. But somehow I can remember all of Larry Bird's 125 best games. I don't know what's wrong with my brain. Anyway. Well, it was a good call. Crown Royal reminds everyone this football season
Starting point is 00:38:50 to take a water break, hydrate responsibly, and then to nod when Baby Doll Dixon says to you, we've met before. Just say, oh yeah, I remember that. And that's it. You don't have to listen to it for the next three minutes. So there you go. I like it.
Starting point is 00:39:03 Let's quickly go over the playoff picture. Right. Houston is now the two seed, Sal. Yeah, that's got to be rough for you.
Starting point is 00:39:13 Houston's going to get a fucking bye. They suck. The Pats suck too, but Houston, Jesus. Well, they won 10 of 11.
Starting point is 00:39:20 What do they do? They won 10 of 11. What do they do? Yeah. They have one receiver and a pass rush and the quarterback can scramble around every once in a while. Congratulations.
Starting point is 00:39:30 That's more than you do, right? You're Patriots. Well, we have five Super Bowl banners last time I checked. Oh, I know. There's a lot of glee right now about the fall of the Patriots. And it reminds me of the scene at the end of This Boy's Life with Leo DiCaprio, your favorite actor. Yeah. When he drives away with Ellen Barkin, they finally escape the abusive stepfather played by Robert De Niro. And they leave and he stands on the porch and he screams,
Starting point is 00:39:59 you'll remember me. You'll remember me. That's how I feel about the Patriots. You'll remember us. That's how Babydoll was with Maverick Carr. Just in a New York accent. So Casey is... When do we see New England play? I think I watched it with you at my house, but when was the last time they played? They'll get a Saturday
Starting point is 00:40:22 night game. I know I shouldn't count them out as a buy. They could still get a buy easily. But if they're a three seed, when was the last time they played that first weekend? Usually they get the Saturday night. I think they played, man, I don't remember. I thought they've had a buy every week for like nine years. But that Saturday night might have been a second round game we're remembering. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:42 It's usually not a good sign if we can't get a buy. That means something's gone wrong. So they're the three seed right now. Pittsburgh is 8-5-1. So they are a half game back at New Orleans home since the Chargers still with a puncher's chance of maybe
Starting point is 00:40:57 I don't know, maybe getting the one seed here. Because if Kansas City loses to Seattle this week, the Chargers beat Baltimore at home. The Chargers are now the one seed. So they're Kansas City loses to Seattle this week, the Chargers beat Baltimore at home. The Chargers are now the one seed. Five to one. We didn't talk about that. That was one of my worst gambling losses. I was stuck in traffic
Starting point is 00:41:13 pulling up to the Ringer party Thursday night and I'm watching on my phone and I just threw the phone into the backseat. I didn't know if anyone was there. But I was so mad at that game. I'm not betting against them the rest of the year. They seem to get going when they're down in a way that is usually a good sign for the playoffs.
Starting point is 00:41:34 When they're down. How about when Keenan Allen, the best receiver, is out? Oh, my. What are the odds with that in play? That was really when my fantasy season ended, when he tried to catch a ball over his head and landed. When the receiver immediately grabs their hip and starts running like Fred Sanford,
Starting point is 00:41:52 it's usually a bad sign. Their hip is a bad one, yeah. But yeah, that Mike Williams was incredible in that game. Pushed off a little towards the end. I got to say, I got to say, Rivers, wow. We were talking, we talked, I saw you Wednesday night, I got to say Rivers. Wow. I saw you Wednesday night, and we talked about Rivers MVP,
Starting point is 00:42:11 and it was like 22 to 1. And we went through the whole thing. And you still think Breeze is going to win regardless. But I don't know. This could be the Rivers season. It's nice odds now that you have good value in that. But he's not passing. But Brees has like eight, nine percentage better
Starting point is 00:42:27 for a completion percentage. Do you think... One less loss. Do you think Rivers is going to announce when he's done playing? What do you mean? Do you think it'll just happen? No, it struck me. I was watching SportsCenter that night,
Starting point is 00:42:41 and they interviewed him. He's got a really good personality and he's really candid. There's something about him. I was thinking about him versus I saw a lot of Jason Witten interviews over the last 12 years. You're thinking of a replacement in the ESPN booth? No, I never watched
Starting point is 00:42:58 Jason Witten and thought to myself, wow, that guy would be really fun to listen to him call a game. Rivers, I think, would be really good at it if he threw himself into it. He's got a good personality. I'm saying like five years ago. Why are we even talking about that? He's one of the top quarterbacks right now. Yeah, but I'm just looking for replacements.
Starting point is 00:43:17 Oh, yeah. The other guy. It sounds like half a joke when you say it, but having eight kids and saying, oh, nothing phases him. He has eight kids. Yeah. Yeah, there's something to that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:28 He kind of plays like a guy with eight kids. He doesn't care what's going on around him. Uh-oh, Bobby fell off the jungle gym. He'll be fine. Wipe off the blood, Bobby. Yeah, let me sidearm another 30-yard touchdown here.
Starting point is 00:43:40 Yeah, I was thinking about announcers because Romo's been such a revelation. He was fun to do the Pats game today, by the way. And then yesterday, Nate Burleson was fantastic. Yeah. That first team, was it Mariucci was the third guy? Yes, it was, yeah. Very enjoyable.
Starting point is 00:43:59 Really, I thought Nate was excellent, especially considering that was his first time. It would be nice to get some new blood. I have a feeling like you're just not allowed to get fired once you get an announcing job, basically. Right. It's like being a tenured professor. I don't know how long. God bless Dick Stockton and some of these guys, but I don't know how long we have to have the same announcers.
Starting point is 00:44:21 Let's get some new blood in there. Well, speaking of not being able to fire anybody, you wanted to, I don't know if you still want to, but you threatened to defend Stephen A. Smith on this podcast. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's great. Go ahead. That's good.
Starting point is 00:44:35 Should we take a break first? I don't care. Whatever you want to do. Yeah, let's take a break, and then I'm going to defend Stephen A. Hey, let's talk about SimpliSafe. You got all those presents under the tree. You're going to want to protect them. Thank God for the holidays.
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Starting point is 00:45:19 Make sure you use that URL because it helps the show and it makes me feel better about myself. That's simplisafe.com slash BS. Simply safe with two I's. Hurry. This offer ends soon. And since we're here, check out the big picture, our movie podcast, which is heading into the Oscars homestretch. Sean Fantasy has a bunch of directors, actors, producers, ringer people, movie critics, you name it. They're all in there. Subscribe now.
Starting point is 00:45:47 The Big Picture. Our movie podcast. You're going to want it over these next, I don't know, two months. There you go. All right. Yeah, we were talking about Stephen A, how he screwed up with the Chiefs and the Chargers game and did this breakdown. And he had a linebacker who wasn't in the Chiefs anymore covering a tight end who was out for the season. It was a problem.
Starting point is 00:46:08 I'm not going to lie. But listen, I've kind of gone up and down on Stephen A. over the years. And I think the last couple of years, I think he has hit a zone where he is one of the most entertaining sports media personalities of all time. I cannot believe that he can go on the last 15 minutes of Get Up, go on First Take and do that show, which is really hard to talk in those long monologues for two plus hours. Then he goes right to a radio show. He does his own radio show by himself for another two hours. And then he's available to do boxing. He's available to go on location for every NBA playoff game. He's at the finals.
Starting point is 00:46:51 The guy is like a take machine. And my point is every once in a while, you're going to get some names messed up or forget something, or maybe try to cheat one game that you weren't able to prepare for. And, and I, I think the man deserves some slack alright
Starting point is 00:47:07 I'd buy that but and I'd buy that anyone like I do five hours of live sports talk television a week and I certainly swallow my words probably once a day but to get four things wrong makes you think that at first I thought
Starting point is 00:47:24 like a researcher was screwing with him. And just like, hey, I'm going to hand him this from 2016. Because it would have made sense from 2016. Maybe that's what happened. Sir Jonathan Hensler Henry. He said San Diego Chargers, whatever. Everyone says that. Spencer Ware.
Starting point is 00:47:36 But then to defend it... First of all, he only defended one of them. He said, oh, no, no. All right, so I said Hunter Henry. I meant Virgil Green. Virgil Green? Virgil Green? Who is that? That guy is not having a good year either.
Starting point is 00:47:48 What are you talking about? Yeah. Who is he anyway? Is that Ted DiBiase's guy? I don't even know who that is. But I don't know. I don't know. It just seems, yeah, I agree with you.
Starting point is 00:47:58 I think he's spread too thin. And what are they going to make him do MMA too when the UFC goes to ESPN? Maybe he doesn't have to do everything. ESPN has people in holding deals that aren't doing anything. They give him a million dollars. So why do you have to have him on 17 different shows? Can I make a counter? Of course, yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:17 It's really fun to watch David on TV. Only when he's doing things like he did last week. He comes on the last 15 minutes of Get Up and he pulls out the Jalen on TV that I want on TV. I see. All right. I really, I really, he has a way of tapping into people and getting them fired up.
Starting point is 00:48:32 He is the master now, the dramatic pause. He does the- The dramatic everything. Yeah. I'm going to do the Stephen A. dramatic pause right now. Don't think that my microphone cut out. Let me tell you something right now, Sal Iacono. Phillip Rivers! And then he just goes.
Starting point is 00:48:51 He really knows how to use silence as a weapon. Do you think he's taking a nap in the dramatic pause? Because he is spread thin, like you said. He doesn't have any time to himself. If every once in a while he has a massive screw-up and gets made fun of
Starting point is 00:49:06 for 24 hours, I still think it's worth the risk of having Stephen A. on TV for seven hours a day. I got you. I should have taken a dramatic pause
Starting point is 00:49:13 between Spencer Ware and Hunter Henry somewhere in there. Thought about it. I think I used to joke in the mid-2000s that at one point ESPN was going to have
Starting point is 00:49:24 a channel that was just Stephen A. Smith in all caps. It might actually happen. No, I think he's their best guy. Oh, yeah. They think he's their best guy, too. He's on every single minute.
Starting point is 00:49:39 I'll tell you another thing. I would put him on the NBA show. Really? Yeah. I just have him on all the time. Give him a podcast if you like him so much. I would put him on the NBA show. Really? Yeah. I just have him on all the time. Give him a podcast if you like him so much. I got him on. Stephen A., I'm inviting you on. I remember I had him when I was still at Grantland. He came on when I was
Starting point is 00:49:56 at South by Southwest, I think. He was awesome on the podcast. That made me think, because I had gotten to know him a little bit from being at the finals. That made me think, because I had gotten to know him a little bit from being at the finals, and that made me think this was less of a full-time shtick than I think people think. I think he has different levels he can go to. Well, he's a good podcast guy. You could read your ZipRecruiter ads during his dramatic pauses.
Starting point is 00:50:22 Works nicely. NFC playoff picture really quickly. New Orleans in the lead. Rams 2. Bears looking like locked in at 3 unless the Rams just keep falling apart. Your team in the inside track on 4. Seattle looking good for at least a wild card.
Starting point is 00:50:41 Minnesota 7, 6, and 1. They got at Detroit, home Chicago. Washington and Philly both 7-7. Carolina not out of it, but they have to beat the Saints tomorrow. Absolutely have to win tomorrow. Then they have the Saints again last week, right? And that's it. Everybody else has crossed off, I think.
Starting point is 00:50:59 We can finally cross the Packers off, right? And Denver, who else we're crossing off? AFC? God, thank God they got rid of Mike McCarthy right? Yeah. Look at that. And Denver, who else we're crossing off? The AFC? God, thank God they got rid of Mike McCarthy. I know. It was big. It was all his fault.
Starting point is 00:51:11 All right. Week 16. We have two set. No Thursday game. The Thursday game is gone. All right, good. I'm proud of you. You got it.
Starting point is 00:51:19 You nailed it. Yeah. We got two on Saturday. Tennessee is home for the Redskins of Washington. Josh Johnson looking to get a terrible contract from some dumb GM in March. Might be getting $40 million from somebody. I have the Titans by seven and a half over Washington. Yeah, I went big.
Starting point is 00:51:42 I said nine, and it's 10. Jesus. Well, Jaguars are favored by seven, right? Yeah. I don't know. I guess, yeah, it's weird. I guess the Redskins are still in, so that's double digits is maybe a little high.
Starting point is 00:51:58 Tennessee is one of a swollen list of teams I would not want to be laying more than a touchdown with. You don't? Yeah, because if they fall down 14 of six or something, do you feel like they're coming back? Well, I don't know how they can fall down 14 of six with the most electrifying player in football. I mean, I'm definitely afraid of Derrick Henry in the playoffs if he makes it.
Starting point is 00:52:18 Yeah, it's weird that they wait forever to just turn the entire team over to him, and then when they do, all hell breaks loose. 33 carries today? Yeah. That's how it goes on. It then when they do, all hell breaks loose. 33 carries today. Yeah. It feels like it should be 33 carries every game. Yeah. Our other game is a good one. San Diego is home.
Starting point is 00:52:32 Oh, San Diego, huh? Yeah. San Diego. You heard me. They're playing, uh,
Starting point is 00:52:39 they're playing the Baltimore Ravens in San Diego. All right. I have the, uh, San Diego chargers favored San Diego. All right. I have the San Diego Chargers favored by six. All right. I'm beating it. That's two for me. I said three and a half. It's four and a half.
Starting point is 00:52:54 That's too low. It's really hard. I didn't think Vegas. I thought it was too low when the Chiefs were laying only three to them. And now, yeah. I guess I like Baltimore on the road. It's really hard for Baltimore to them. And now, yeah. I guess I like Baltimore on the road. It's really hard for Baltimore to score. It's about 20 points.
Starting point is 00:53:10 And so they have to keep the Chargers in that 17 to 20 range. And I'm just not sure they're capable of that unless all hell breaks loose. Should we make a case for the Chargers might be better off doing this on the road? I mean, obviously you want the bye. You felt that today with the Rams, right? There's like 40,000 Eagles fans there. Yeah. I mean, I looked online at Chargers Chiefs fans or attendance and hit Google Images,
Starting point is 00:53:37 and that's a sea of red. Like that was, it couldn't have had a better home game. I don't know. I just don't trust them at home as much as I do on the road. I agree. I don't know. I just don't trust him at home as much as I do on the road. I agree. I'm with you. Sunday, the marquee game is the New Orleans Saints hosting Ben Roethlisberger and his cracked ribs in the Pittsburgh Steelers.
Starting point is 00:53:54 I have the Saints by six. Yeah, you nailed it exactly. I said five, but I thought six was a little high. We'll see. That's a short week. I guess it's an emotional win for the Steelers this week too. Did you like the running back that Steelers had today or James Conner? I don't know why.
Starting point is 00:54:14 I like everyone better than Le'Veon Bell, but I like Conner when he was at his best. Which one do you like? I like Samuels. I thought he was shiftier. Kyle likes Conner more. We were arguing about it when we were Samuels. I thought he was shiftier. Kyle likes Connor more. We were arguing about it when we were watching the game. I do.
Starting point is 00:54:28 Connor is a more – He's a tough bruiser type back in January, I would like to say. Well, the reason I bring it up is I actually think they should be playing both of them, and that could be dangerous if they get in there, if they kind of try to reinvent themselves as more of a running team. Because their running attack has not been stealth this year. I think they were in the bottom five for a running game this year. I don't know how they'd be with that.
Starting point is 00:54:52 I mean, Brown caught the touchdown, but did he have more than 50 yards? No. No, we shut him down. Our defense, we had this undrafted rookie cornerback, Jackson, who's been playing really well. Defense is actually, the pass defense has been good. It's been the run defense that hasn't been as good. Even Smith-Huster had 40.
Starting point is 00:55:11 That's weird. Kyle's sorry. Kyle's upset about the game. It's all right, Kyle. We'll be fine. The watchables, I only have one. Houston at Philly. I think this is the week to clean up against Houston.
Starting point is 00:55:30 I think they're favored by two and a half, and I'm ready to lose money again by going against them. All right. Well, I had four, and then I changed it after the game. I said, that's nuts. It's too high now. Philly's back in it. I changed it to two and a half.
Starting point is 00:55:45 Three and a half. So we're going to split that. I had four as well and then I changed it after the Eagles. You don't care. Nick Falls, man. Yeah, that was a scary team today. That was scary. You want to keep betting against Houston, you might be on your
Starting point is 00:56:02 own here. Do you think Wentz has he bought a house, you think? you might be on your own here. Do you think Wentz has, he bought a house? You think he owns his own house? No. Do you think he owns his own house and just like, I'm going to be here for the next 15 years? Oh, that kind of thing.
Starting point is 00:56:13 Man. Interesting. It's getting awkward with Wentz. Yeah. He could, uh, maybe, maybe it takes the Eagles plus nine and a half on the teaser.
Starting point is 00:56:22 You can buy a bigger house with another team. What if the Giants offer them whatever pick they end up with this year? Next year's first, and then the year after that's first for Wentz. Three firsts for Wentz. Eagles can keep Nick Foles. Yeah, that's a lot.
Starting point is 00:56:44 That's a lot. I think the Giants just suck next year again and wait for another class to come through. The Eagles trade him in the AFC if they trade him. Yeah. I'm trying to think who else. The Dolphins wouldn't want him. What about Jacksonville?
Starting point is 00:57:00 Oh, Jacksonville. That's a good one. So Jacksonville, Jalen Ramsey, Jacksonville's first, and then two more first-round picks. Perfect. That's done. Nick Foles, pack your bags. Do that.
Starting point is 00:57:14 We're going with God and Nick Foles. It would be funny if you, I know this is what you want to do, you want to spread a fake trade rumor, but you should say Kevin Clark reporting. Jacksonville offered two ones and Jalen Ramsey. We should have a fake ringer reporter who's not actually a real human
Starting point is 00:57:32 being. Yeah, right. Jack Klonsman reports. Wow. I think Fultz and Carson Wentz are going to be on the same bus out of Philly together. Barely watchables. We have a bunch. Next week's not a very fun week of football, I've going to be on the same bus out of Philly together. Barely watchables. We have a bunch.
Starting point is 00:57:47 Next week's not a very fun week of football, I've got to be honest. Patriots home for the Bills. The Patriots are going to be favored by way too high, and I'm worried about this game because I think it's going to be hard for them to move the ball on Buffalo's defense. I think Buffalo has a good defense. Buffalo's a year away from being something. Well, they were last year away from being something. In my opinion.
Starting point is 00:58:05 Yeah, they were last year away from being something. The year was last year. That was stupid, though. I'm saying they might actually be a good team next year. I have the Pats by 11.5. Yeah, I guess they haven't had a running back all year. McCoy's been screwing around.
Starting point is 00:58:21 They have no skill position players. You don't know who any of those guys are. I have 13 13 and it's 12 and a half. They play good for... A guy actually quit on them this year. They're not that terrible. But I'll tell you what is terrible. That AFC East. People got on my case
Starting point is 00:58:37 like, hey, why didn't you say anything to Simmons when he said you were giving me shit about it. Thank God the Cowboys play in a horrific division. Your team's played in one for like 16, 17 years now. So? So what's your point, Sal? My point is you're now going to beat the Bills and you're going to beat the Jets.
Starting point is 00:58:55 And Houston's going to lose a stupid game and you're going to get the two seed. That's my point. I like how people on Twitter were giving you shit as opposed to like all the good people on Twitter. Just kind things to pass along. There are a few naysayers. I wouldn't believe it. Dear Sal, I just want to tell you I really enjoy your podcast. Keep doing what you do.
Starting point is 00:59:15 Not a tweet you'll see very often. Hey, Sal. Why don't you stand up to fucking Simmons? His division sucks. Fuck you. It seemed like an easy one. I don't know. Cowboys home for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
Starting point is 00:59:31 I hate this game. I'd hate it too. Bucs were hanging around in that Ravens game. They couldn't really put it together, but they were lingering. It seems like... Oh, go ahead. Take your guess. I think Cowboys by eight.
Starting point is 00:59:45 I said seven and a half, and it's seven. It's probably around right. It just doesn't seem like Jameis could hit that little, I don't know, that post route to Evans at midfield. I feel like it's open a lot. Yeah. And then just goes away from them, and it just disappears or gets sacked like two out of six plays. I think he is going to be the star of one of the spring football leagues in
Starting point is 01:00:10 like two years. They're going to build it around him. Maybe probably the Charlie ever saw like Vikings, by the way, a lot of scary underdogs in this set in this like six to eight point range this week from a Moneyline standpoint. We should think about that. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:27 A lot of tease killers. Vikings are in Detroit. There should be another one. I didn't even know about this, but for some reason I was watching the Lions-Bills game and they were talking about the Lions did something with Matt Stafford where they're pushing their fans to vote for him for the Pro Bowl.
Starting point is 01:00:45 And people got really upset because he's had such a shitty season. And it turned into like a social media thing. The Lions' Matt Stafford for the Pro Bowl? Yeah, the Lions did something about vote for him. Here's the link. And then people were like, fuck you, Matt Stafford. You're not going to believe this, but people on Twitter took Umbridge. Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:01:03 People on Twitter were upset about it. Haven't the Lions done enough for him? they gave him a 9 figure contract and he's the 4th best quarterback in the division the irony is Matt Stafford will be at the Pro Bowl after the first 7 guys drop out and he gets a few more on vacation I have the Vikings by 3.5 over the Lions I said the same thing
Starting point is 01:01:21 3.5 5 I'm not betting the Lions but that three and a half. Five. I'm not betting the Lions, but that might be a good spot for them. Kirk Cousins is just dying to screw the Viking fans. Yeah. Even today, they're up 21-0, and he throws the pick six just to keep everybody on their toes for a little bit. He's like, yeah, watch this.
Starting point is 01:01:39 Oh, you think you have this? Colts home for the Giants. This is another red flag, tease killer game. Colts home for the Giants. This is another red flag tease killer game. Colts looking great. Giants look awful. And yet, Saquon on turf is a little scary. I have the Colts by eight. I said seven, and you get it.
Starting point is 01:01:58 It's nine. Way high. Oh, bonus. After the Colts game today, they actually interviewed Andrew Luck. No, they did. Yeah. We don't even have to do it this week.
Starting point is 01:02:08 No, we don't even have to do it. Anyone who saw the games, Oh, it was a great team effort. And you did that whole thing. It was fantastic. Oh,
Starting point is 01:02:15 he did do it. Yeah, he did it. He did the whole thing. I'm very proud of the guys. I like him. Let me tell you, the NFL is dying to make Indy at Tennessee,
Starting point is 01:02:23 uh, the Sunday night game, week 17. What is it going to be? Indy plays Tennessee week 17, and that seems to be the only game that could matter if both those teams are playing for a wild card. But a lot of stuff has to happen. Ravens have to start losing. My wife thinks that my Andrew Luck impersonation
Starting point is 01:02:45 sounds like my Jackson Maine impersonation. Let's hear the Jackson. I didn't hear the Jackson impersonation. Hold on. I've got to find the Star is Born quote. You have to find it? Why just? Look, talent comes everywhere.
Starting point is 01:02:59 But having something to say and a way to say it to have people listen to it it that's a whole other bag that was my Jackson Man impersonation what'd you think I don't think it does I don't think I saw the movie I could actually hear
Starting point is 01:03:12 Andrew's giant luck impersonate look at me all you gotta do is trust me that's all you gotta do that's close yeah
Starting point is 01:03:19 I'm working on it Jackson Man's a work in progress you gotta like do it deep in deep in your throat yeah I don't wanna step on the luck I guess I have to choose I'm working on it. Jackson Maine's a work in progress. You got to do it deep in your throat. Yeah. I don't want to step on the luck.
Starting point is 01:03:29 I guess I have to choose. I don't think I can do both. Panthers are home for the Falcons. I have the Panthers by six. Six? Yeah. I said four. It's three and a half. Oh, don't get carried away with the Falcons
Starting point is 01:03:41 because they beat that terrible Cardinals team today. Come on. Well, listen. One's going to be 5-9. The other's going to be 6-8. How many points do they lay? You don't think the Panthers at least throw a couple haymakers in this Saints game? I do think they cover.
Starting point is 01:03:55 I think they keep it close. They'll – yeah. I just hate what they do. They'll bring some brass knuckles to the ring. Listen, but what are we going to – Cam's injured. He's playing through injury. Yeah. No, but I just think this is like a kitchen sink brass knuckles to the ring. Listen, but what are we going to, you know, Cam's injured. He's playing through injury. Yeah. No, but I just think this is like a kitchen sink brass knuckles game.
Starting point is 01:04:10 He takes some swings. I still think the Saints win, but I don't think the Panthers go down quietly. Yeah. Bears, Niners. Niners, man. You know, I got to say Mullins was good in that game. Yeah. He made a lot of nice, he overthrew, of course, George Kittle,
Starting point is 01:04:27 because George Kittle's on my fantasy team. It would have been a 70-yard touchdown. But other than that, he moved around. He took some big hits. He hit his check down dudes. He hit some guys downfield. I was impressed. I thought he was pretty good.
Starting point is 01:04:39 24-29, 275. Kittle was the heaviest player ever to have 200-plus yards receiving last week. Really? Heaviest player ever. Heaviest? I think, yeah. Is he like 270 or something? Something like that, yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:54 Yeah. He's fast. He is. He's probably the fastest I've met, too. I was impressed by the Niners. I liked the bald defensive coordinator, too. A lot of great fist pumps from him. Oh, yeah. Who's that guy? Is he a coaching candidate? I liked the bald defensive coordinator too. A lot of great fist pumps from him.
Starting point is 01:05:05 Oh, yeah. Who's that guy? Is he a coaching candidate? I think it's my friend Harry. I have the Bears by 11 in San Francisco. No, you don't. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:17 It's in San Francisco. Bears by 11. I'm staying with it. Oh, my God. We may have to discontinue this podcast. Yeah. Bears by five and a half.
Starting point is 01:05:25 I said it's three and a half. What? Yeah. They won the division. I'm not going to give it their all here. Hold on. They can still get a two seed, though. What was Seattle?
Starting point is 01:05:43 Seattle was three? Three and a half? Four? Yeah, but the three and a half, four. Yeah, but the Bears, their defense is unbelievable. I guess they should be higher than Seattle. Maybe a little low, but 11, come on. Yeah, 11 was dumb. I love how you're uprating me.
Starting point is 01:05:56 I've beaten you like seven straight years. How dare you? Maybe this is my week. Hold on. One, two, three, four. Yeah, I'm going to beat you this week. What else you got? Bears. So what was the Bears line. What else you got? Bears.
Starting point is 01:06:06 So what was the Bears line? Three and a half? Yeah. Oh, my God. I mean, look. It was pouring rain in that Niners game. Every dumb thing that could have happened against the Seahawks happened. And it still went to overtime.
Starting point is 01:06:23 And the Seahawks had the ball. They get a holding penalty. Oh, the guy fumbled the kickoff. Right. Start at the 14. They get a play down the sideline. It somehow gets called back. That was ridiculous. I don't think that happens.
Starting point is 01:06:36 I'm not going to lose three weeks in a row with this team. I'm sorry. I had them against Denver, or Denver against them, Seattle. Enough's enough. I think the Bears win this game by double digits. And I'm going to remind you that you laughed at my minus 11. Trubisky's a poor man's Nick Mullen. And I don't even know if it's first name to Nick.
Starting point is 01:06:58 I was just kidding. Four teams in the poopfecta. We're going to go with, first of all, the Cleveland Browns at home for Cincinnati. I have the Browns by eight and a half. I went high on this one. Can you believe that? Yeah. You went slightly high.
Starting point is 01:07:09 I had six. I went low, but I'm closer because it's seven. But the Browns are six, seven, and one, and a seven-point favorite in a division game. That's astounding. The Browns were a Hugh Jackson firing away from making the playoffs. Yeah. If it had happened
Starting point is 01:07:25 like three weeks earlier, I really think they would have made it. Which game could they have won? So the Raiders, that's the one, the glaring one. They lost in overtime to the Raiders and obviously tied the Steelers.
Starting point is 01:07:34 Well, the Steeler tie was egregious. There was another one too they should have won. They should be 8-6 right now. Yeah. Their record does not reflect the talent of that team and the games that they've played.
Starting point is 01:07:49 Miami is home for the... They lost to New Orleans 21-18. They should have won that game, though, remember? Yeah. Lost to Tampa Bay in overtime 26-23. Another stupid one. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:58 Yeah. They had a... There was one game where their kicker murdered them, but I don't remember which one that was. Miami is home for the Jaguars. I have Miami by four.
Starting point is 01:08:10 You get this one. Four and a half. I said six. That's a stay away of all stay aways. Two Florida teams. Enough, enough. Packers at the Jets. Sam Darnold.
Starting point is 01:08:26 Aaron Rodgers. Two ships passing in the night. Going in different directions. One's going north, one's going south. I don't need to tell you which one's going south. Packers, I have minus four against the Jets. I said four also. Vegas is not done taking Packer-Backer money.
Starting point is 01:08:46 Two and a half. Baiting you. Baiting you to take Green Bay here. Begging. I like the Jets. Last one, Rams at Arizona. The Arizona is awful. I think Arizona is the worst team in the league right now
Starting point is 01:09:01 just because of the injuries. I have the Rams by 11.5 in Arizona. You get this one. I always said 9.5. I don't know. There's something about it. That Rams team I didn't like today. But it's 13.5.
Starting point is 01:09:18 They have to win that, right? Yeah, they're going to win this. The Patriots have to win. That's to win. Yeah. Let's take one more break, then we'll do the last thing. Let's take a break to talk about FanDuel. If you're like me, your fantasy season is dead.
Starting point is 01:09:36 It's over. Well, at least we have daily fantasy. Go to FanDuel. Get the excitement of researching and building your team each week, regardless of the outcome. You don't get your feelings hurt by players that you felt like were part of your family for the last four months and then they disgraced themselves and ruined your weekend.
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Starting point is 01:10:09 Come play with me at fanduel.com. New users only. Bonus not available for withdrawal. State and age restrictions apply. Fulfill eligibility rules and terms and conditions. Go to fanduel.com. And since we're here, I wanted to remind you, on the Ringer podcast,
Starting point is 01:10:26 two relatively new podcasts, Ryan Rosillo's Dual Threat, which is kind of coming into the home stretch here. We'll see if it's going to keep going through the draft. We've got to negotiate with Ryan and his team of accountants and lawyers. And then Winging It, Vince Carter,
Starting point is 01:10:42 Kent Bazemore, Andy Finberg. They had an awesome podcast with Steph Curry and Andre Goudal last week that made some news. So check that one out as well on The Ringer Podcast Network. All right. Sunday night. Casey
Starting point is 01:10:56 is in Seattle. This is a good one. Yeah. I'm excited for this one. I think Seattle is going to be underdogs and I can't remember how many times Seattle has been an underdog in a night game at home when they've actually had a decent
Starting point is 01:11:11 to good team it has not been many times that that's happened I think the Chiefs will be favored by 3 points I said 2.5 right now it is 2.5 yeah this is a tough one you're going to want to bet the Chiefs in the bounce-back game, but Seattle kind of needs to bounce back too.
Starting point is 01:11:29 You're right. I don't remember them being an underdog too much, but they did win that night game two weeks ago. What were they, favored by three against the Vikings? Was that a week ago? Yeah, something like that. I think Damian Williams is really good. I actually think he's better than Spencer Ware.
Starting point is 01:11:45 If there's one good thing from that Spencer Ware injury is that they found out that Williams is actually better than him. Yeah. I wonder how the hell they lost that game still. With Williams running well, Mahomes completing ridiculous passes, they still blew it. Did you see – there's a couple bad fake punts today. Yeah. The Bears had one.
Starting point is 01:12:07 The Bears had a really or maybe they went for it. Oh, I did see that. Yeah, no, the Bears had a fake punt. It was just a snap to the up back. That was terrible. The Rams ran a really risky one that it looked like the guy actually caught it, but then it hit the ground. I also thought it was all over his back.
Starting point is 01:12:24 I know it hit the ground. This has been a recurring theme on the pod, but then it hit the ground. I also thought it was all over his back, but I know it hit the ground. This has been a recurring theme on the pod, but there's a recklessness this year. Coach is trying to be quote-unquote aggressive, but now it's just reckless. We see it on these
Starting point is 01:12:40 fourth and ones where you're not entirely sure why they're going for it on fourth and one with the team they have and the personnel on the field and then these weird fake punts. It's like Peterson has made the whole league crazy. Peterson being like, yeah, fuck it, we're going for it has infected the whole league and now everybody thinks they're hot shit. These fake punts and I don't know. Who went Saturday night? Oh, no, But then Saturday night,
Starting point is 01:13:05 the Denver kick a field goal when they should have gone for it. No, I can't remember. No, but that was stupid though, because I, I wouldn't have minded that if I felt like their defense was going to stop Cleveland,
Starting point is 01:13:18 but I didn't really feel that way. I had Cleveland. I was so happy that Denver kicked the field. But don't, when you, you don't want your, you know, you want Baker backed up at the end zone.
Starting point is 01:13:26 Inside is five. You got the fans screaming at you. That's a nice spot to be in, even if you don't make it on fourth down. Yeah. I thought they should have gone for it, but they settled for the field goal. Right.
Starting point is 01:13:37 On the other hand, I mean, they were down to like, you know, no receivers left and Philip Lindsay wasn't doing anything. So I don't know. Last one, Monday night, Broncos at Oakland. Can they flex this one to the preseason next year? We'll have to watch it. I'm going to flex my bowels. That's an awful one.
Starting point is 01:14:02 I have the Broncos by six. Oh, wow. You went high. I said three andcos by six. Oh, wow. You went high. I said three and a half. It's only two. Really? Good week for me.
Starting point is 01:14:11 Or maybe a bad one for you. Whichever you want to look at it. What's good about Oakland? They're a little feisty today.
Starting point is 01:14:19 I don't know what you could say about it. I didn't watch that game too much, but they seemed in it. It's Driscoll. Okay. All right. So you kicked my ass this week they seemed in it. It's Driscoll. Okay.
Starting point is 01:14:25 All right, so you kicked my ass this week. There we go. I'm set to win the next 13 weeks, and we tie. What do you got for parent corner? Oh, parent corner. All right, let me set this up. So we went to Corolla's to watch football, and we got Brad there and Harry, and my friend Ken says,
Starting point is 01:14:43 hey, I have to stop over. I'm coming back from Hawaii, and, I have to stop over. I'm coming back from Hawaii. Then I have to go to Palm Springs. Where are you watching football? I'm like, well, we're at Corolla's Warehouse. So he goes and brings like four dozen donuts from Hawaii. I don't even remember the name of the place. But they're good.
Starting point is 01:15:02 It has like guava cream. He's like, oh, you got to taste this guava cream. He's pushing these donuts on everybody. And then our friend Brad comes in and he's in a bad mood. Why is he in a bad mood?
Starting point is 01:15:13 Well, he met, he, I think he owes some money in taxes. And, and he, my friend Ken, who knows everything
Starting point is 01:15:20 about everything, is like, well, let me help you out. What do you have? What's going on? You know? And he tells him, you him, I owe X amount. Can I pay this off? What do you think?
Starting point is 01:15:31 They're like, well, you have a job. They're probably not going to let you take 10 cents on the dollar since you have a job and you've had a job for years. And he's like, why don't you just pay your effing taxes? Brad picks up a handful, passes on the donuts, because the donuts were good, but takes a handful of watermelon and throws it at Ken,
Starting point is 01:15:49 hits him in the chest. He's like, thanks for your fucking advice. And then he goes to walk away and now it's a scene. Now it's bad and now I have to separate both of them. Oh, Ken was like ready to fight him?
Starting point is 01:16:01 Oh yeah, and Brad's calling him names and Ken's calling Brad names. And your kids are there? My kids are there and this is where it's up. Ken was like ready to fight him. Oh yeah. And Brad's calling him names and Ken's calling Brad names. And, um, and your kids are there. My kids are there. And this is,
Starting point is 01:16:08 this is where it stops. And so we temporarily bring Brad in one. I don't want anyone to go home. Part of me is loving this, but I have to get past this very uncomfortable spot where they want to kill each other, you know? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:19 Um, and, uh, and so, but I don't want anyone to go home, but Ken's like, it's either me or him. One of us is leaving. I'm like, Oh, this is just going to be I don't want anyone to go home, but Ken's like, it's either me or him. One of us is leaving.
Starting point is 01:16:25 I'm like, ah, this is just going to be bad if one of them has to leave. But it kind of has to be Brad because he, he committed an assault kind of still angry. It's a watermelon assault. Yeah. Well, he'll throw a watermelon on Sunday. And my wife, I told her to get fruit and I said, don't get watermelon. It's gamey, but she got watermelon anyway. I don't want to blame her, but anyway.
Starting point is 01:16:44 Okay. So anyway, uh, Brad's in the other room and I don't want to blame her, but anyway. Okay. So anyway, uh, Brad's in the other room and counts. I can't listen. How about if you just stay on the other side of the room? He's like, no,
Starting point is 01:16:51 we threw watermelon at me. I'm not taking that. I'm not sitting here with him. And my son, my 13 year old was like, Ken, you know what? You offend.
Starting point is 01:16:59 I think you went too far with the, just pay your effing taxes. Um, you know, I don't think you should have to apologize but uh i think you hurt him more than he hurt you and he like took a step back and he's like all right fine as long as he just doesn't talk to me that's fine so my 13 year old was smarter than all but broke into peace between ken and brad and um ken says he's still never
Starting point is 01:17:23 talking about again but uh that was nice for the rest of the day, at least. What an amazing story. Yeah, it's nice. That reminded me of a little bit of when you and Jeff Ross were feuding for months and then Tom Cruise heard both sides of the story and then said, you've offended your friend. You have to apologize to him. Yeah, it was that.
Starting point is 01:17:42 Yeah. Look at the 13-year-old Tom Cruise. Wow. Yeah. What an the 13-year-old Tom Cruise. Wow. Yeah. What an incredible story. There you go. I feel like I raised him the right way just based on that. What a week for Ken.
Starting point is 01:17:51 He had a 10-hour phone call with another man, and he had watermelon thrown out by a lunatic. Oh, the Cody's are really hitting up in the fourth quarter. Everybody wants it. Oh, my God. Then there's our Fred Daniel who was genuinely upset at me that I didn't invite him to the
Starting point is 01:18:10 Ringer staff holiday party that was on a Thursday and only had people that word for the Ringer. Right. He's furious. He's going to hear this, yeah. I'm even more upset. For my parent corner, I have to go get my son, so hold on one second. Oh, good. For my parent corner,
Starting point is 01:18:25 instead of having me tell you what my son's Christmas list does, he's actually here. He's going to tell us his Christmas list. This is what he's asked for. Do you still believe in Santa or no? Oh, no. Okay.
Starting point is 01:18:40 All right. You believe that the elf of the shelf until a year ago. Yeah. When mom told me she me he was fake in the restaurant. No, I told you. No. Oh, wait, yeah, you did. Yeah, I did. You want that distinction.
Starting point is 01:18:56 Yeah. All right, give us your Christmas list, Ben. Number one, NXT wrestling figures. NXT wrestling figures. NXT wrestling figures. Any ones in particular? I want them to make an Aleister Black figure. Okay. What's number two?
Starting point is 01:19:13 A gold chain. A gold chain. Is it thick? Is it thin? What kind of a gold chain and why? I want a thin one to look like craig kimbrough for baseball okay wow sounds good where do we get a gold chain kyle are you gonna help out yeah we can we'll find one we'll find a good one all right because kyle's been on mr t do you watch rocky
Starting point is 01:19:38 three i mean is that what he's do you want a clock like flavor flavor yeah okay all right we'll get we'll start with a chain. We'll see if you like it. All right. What else is on the list, Ben? Baseballs. I need more baseballs because I keep on throwing them over. Throwing them over where?
Starting point is 01:19:54 In the bushes or like over to the neighbor's yard. So Ben, he plays baseball in the backyard and you're not going to believe this, but sometimes takes full baseball swings and hits the ball. And they went into the other, the neighbor's yard and our neighbor who, who speaks English, but I wouldn't say it's strong called my wife over and gave her like 12 of Ben's baseballs that were all in their yard that had bounced in their pool and
Starting point is 01:20:22 hit various parts of their guest house and things like that. So the neighbor's not a big fan of Ben. What else, Ben? I want a new glove for baseball, too. Why do you need a new glove? Because I writ all over mine. You did what? You writ?
Starting point is 01:20:38 You roto all over? Yeah. I don't have good grammar. Don't judge me. Okay. I thought he said, I want a new drug. I thought it was a Huey Lewis drug. That's next me. Okay. I thought he said I want a new drug. I thought it was a Huey Lewis drug. That's next year.
Starting point is 01:20:47 Okay. What else, Ben? I want gift cards. Gift cards. Okay. Yeah. Okay. You got some PlayStation gift cards, and you got the code, and you got the WWE 2K19 game
Starting point is 01:21:02 for video, and that was good. You got to be careful with the Visa gift cards because then you can just go off the internet. You have specific gift cards. Yeah, it's gotta be like PlayStation. Something specific. Or iTunes. You like the iTunes gift card. Okay, what else? This is good for your grandparents to listen to this. I like it.
Starting point is 01:21:17 Last thing. Red Dead Redemption 2. Woo! That's actually... We've run ads from them and that was like a generic ad right there wasn't even an ad yeah it's the better GTA
Starting point is 01:21:33 because I haven't allowed you to play GTA yet yeah any new years resolutions Ben other than to not be as much of a dick that's what I was going to say. That's good enough, I think. That's good. All right.
Starting point is 01:21:48 Ben, hold on. Wait, didn't you, wasn't he playing Call of Duty? No, not Call of Duty. Fortnite. Fortnite, yeah. And then what happened with that? I think people want to know. He was suspended, well, grounded from playing.
Starting point is 01:22:00 Well, yeah, he threw the controller and it bounced off the floor and hit his TV and shattered the screen on the TV. And guess who hasn't had a TV for the last month and a half? Oh, it really hasn't been that long. Yeah. He has no TV in his room anymore. Not that he should have in the first place.
Starting point is 01:22:16 Wow. All right. I'm proud of you for having it. You know what you should add to the list? Add the neighbor's house. Then it's easier. Then you don't have to get more balls. You could just, it'll be your house. Yeah. And you could get, right? I mean, if your daddy really loves you, add the neighbor's house. Then it's easier. Then you don't have to get more balls. It'll be your house.
Starting point is 01:22:25 Yeah. Daddy really loves you. Buy the house next door. So that's it, Ben? Any New Year's resolutions other than not be as much of a dick? No. Is there going to be a girlfriend
Starting point is 01:22:41 for you next year? Hell no. Hell no? I'm waiting until 16 at least. 16? We'll talk after, Ben. What are your thoughts on nephew Kyle dating the girl again? Oh, no. He's back.
Starting point is 01:22:54 The on-again, off-again girlfriend is now on. It's fine. It's fine. Oh, man. It's fine. Ben is your homie, man. It's fine. He always has your back.
Starting point is 01:23:02 I know. I know. That's your dude right there. We'll go out and find girlfriends together. We'll walk Melrose or something. Yeah. Maybe she'll buy you homie, man. He always has your back. I know. That's your dude right there. We'll go out and find girlfriends together. We'll walk Melrose or something. Maybe she'll buy you a baseball, Ben. Ben, thanks for coming on the podcast. You're welcome.
Starting point is 01:23:13 Good luck on some of those gifts. I love it. See you, Ben. So yeah, I had him on because one of his Christmas wish list things was a gold chain. And I felt like you needed to know that. That's the best.
Starting point is 01:23:29 He's 11. Do you know anybody who's put a gold chain on their wishlist? No, I really don't. I'm trying to think. Kyle, what's in my future with that kid? More gold chains, for sure. More than multiple gold chains. There's going to be a leather jacket soon, too, isn't there?
Starting point is 01:23:45 Yeah. He's going to be a Chris Moltisanti, I think. I think you've got a soprano on your hand. It's like 25% Italian. What do you have to plug, Sal? I'll lock it in Monday through Friday, 4.30 to 5.30 Eastern time. Damn it, Rams. I would have won.
Starting point is 01:24:00 I would have had a 60% profit on the week, but they couldn't pull it together. Jimmy Kimmel Live, 11.35 each weeknight on ABC. And against all odds, Wednesday night, we're going to handicap the big games. We'll get best bets from the general trifecta. Harry's won nine out of 10 bets, so listen for that. Has he really?
Starting point is 01:24:19 Yeah. He won't let me forget it either. Bucs under. It's always a stupid game that I don't want to take. The Buccaneers under. There's going to be no points in that either. Bucks under. It's always a stupid game that I don't want to take. The Buccaneers under, there's going to be no points in that game. He was right.
Starting point is 01:24:27 Can we have a, can we do a 24-hour telethon where it's just Ken and Harry talking? No, that would be great. Trying to raise money for Brad's taxes? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:24:36 It's only two, it's only two and a half phone calls. Yeah, if everyone sends a dollar, we can tell more Brad stories. We wouldn't have
Starting point is 01:24:44 enough money, bud. Can't Brad start like a Patreon account so people can chip in? He's brought so much joy. My God. Maybe there's a watermelon tossing league he can join and excel at that. I can't believe he threw watermelon chunks at Ken. Yeah. For some reason, that's like especially disgusting.
Starting point is 01:25:04 Like a donut would have been better. It would have been a line you wouldn's like especially disgusting. Like a donut would have been better. It just seems like a line you wouldn't cross, right? Yeah. Donut would have been better. Watermelons are wet. Yeah, you're moist afterwards. Some people are allergic to watermelon.
Starting point is 01:25:13 It stained his shirt. Yeah. Ken claimed he had a date tonight. I don't know. There was a lockout. A date, like a Tinder date? I don't know. A date, a date, like a Tinder date? I don't know. I don't know how to get into it.
Starting point is 01:25:28 He had to get on a plane for it. He had to get on a plane for a date? I have crazy friends. I think I have too many crazy friends. I may have to make cuts. That should be like a nightclub. Yeah. You have,
Starting point is 01:25:41 you know, you're like a 50 person nightclub is your friend base. And once you get to 50, you got to kick somebody out. If you had a new friend, like your friend, you know, you're like a 50 person nightclub is your friend base. And once you get to 50, you got to kick somebody out. If you had a new friend, like your friend, who's, who's your best friend at Fox that you've made since you started working for them? I like Stoner. Rob Stone. You like Marcellus Wiley.
Starting point is 01:25:57 You like a bunch of those guys. So you add a couple of those people, kick a couple of the older people out of the nightclub. I like it. You make a reality show out of it. Yeah, that's smart. You should vote. Yeah. Vote some of them off.
Starting point is 01:26:08 Yeah. And then someone gets a nice shiny gold chain at the end. By the way, I'm not coming to the fantasy draft next year. I'm really done. I'm really done. I don't want to do this anymore. You're going. It's going to be fun.
Starting point is 01:26:19 I don't feel good about myself. I did not enjoy it. I have low self-esteem now. I didn't like it. How would this be the greatest fantasy whenever Drew Brees gets hurt in the first play? Like if they just benched him? Yeah, it did something.
Starting point is 01:26:32 Yeah. I guess they'd have to bench him. Drew Brees is hurt. The Nats are talking in hushed tones. I'm jumping on the coffee table. Yeah. Those are the, those are,
Starting point is 01:26:40 forget the dumb Wentz trade rumors. Those are the rumors you'd be starting about. Drew Brees is Twitter, you know, something, something weird. Poor Wentz trade rumors. Those are the rumors you'd be starting about. True Breeze's Twitter, you know, something weird. Poor Wentz. Should Wentz start boxing stuff up now? No, man. I don't know what they're going to do with him. I'm going to pay him.
Starting point is 01:26:58 I'm sure the next fan base will like him. All right, Sal. Good job by you. Good job by you, Billy. All right, thanks to ZipCruiter.. All right. Thanks to ZipRecruiter. Don't forget to go to ZipRecruiter.com slash BS. Thanks to SimpliSafe. Remember, SimpliSafe home security system is ready to protect your home and family.
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Starting point is 01:27:33 Thanks to TheRinger.com. Don't forget to check out all of our awesome Best of 2018 stuff. And thanks to Fando. If you're not a fantasy expert, Fando is the place to play. At Fando, you get the excitement of researching and building your team each week regardless of the outcome
Starting point is 01:27:47 and you don't get your feelings hurt by people you've known for 15 weeks who then let you down in week 15 come play with me at Fando.com
Starting point is 01:27:54 slash BS get a $5 bonus when you make first deposit New Year's only bonus not available for withdrawal state and age restrictions apply for full eligibility rules
Starting point is 01:28:03 and terms and conditions go to F duo.com. Don't forget about the rewatchables. That is going to be earlier in this week. We're doing con air and I will see you here on the side I don't have feelings within On the wayside, never on the side I don't have feelings within

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