The Bill Simmons Podcast - The Sleeper Browns, Goff’s Evil Twin, Rowboat Ron, and the Bills Are(n’t) Back With Cousin Sal

Episode Date: November 20, 2023

The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss Vikings-Broncos, Browns-Steelers, another inexplicable Chargers loss, Lions-Bears, Dolphins-Raiders, Rams-Seahawks, and more (2:02) before guessing the lines for NFL Week 12 (42:33). They close the show with Parent Corner (1:13:30). Host: Bill Simmons Guest: Cousin Sal Producer: Kyle Crichton Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Coming up week 11 with the cuz I'm on East coast time. I'm going to be groggy. Oh, next it's the bill Simmons podcast presented by fan duel footballs in full action. Fan duels highest rated sports book is the best place to bet at all. We've been doing pretty well. A million dollar picks this year. I love the first month of the season because you have to go into the season thinking, I think Pittsburgh's going to be good. I love the first month of the season because you have to go into the season thinking, I think Pittsburgh's going to be good. I think the Chargers are going to be good. I think Seattle's going to be good. And then trying to back what you think in those first few weeks and then zag the other way. If you were wrong, you could bet on new and fun markets on FanDuel, like

to catch your pass, same game parlays, highest scoring game across the Sunday slate, offensive TDs, the next drive. They have so much stuff, it's crazy. The app is safe and secure and easy to use. And when you win, you'll get paid instantly. Plus, look out for FanDuel Squares this season. Here's what you have to do. Visit fanduel.com slash BS to download America's number one sports book.

The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit rg-help.com to learn more about the resources and helplines available and listen to the end of the episode for additional details. You must be 21 plus and present in select states. Gambling problem called 1-800-GAMBLER or visit rg-help.com. This episode is brought to you by Prime Video. You know me, I can't go a day without sports. I really can't.

And now Monday nights are all about hockey. That's right. There's a new exclusive home for streaming Monday night NHL hockey, and it's on prime all season long. Watch prime Monday night hockey deliver unreal plays. The biggest goals can't miss moments. Matthews, McDavid, Crosby, the NHL's best. They're all on prime prime Monday night hockey.L's best. They're all on Prime.

Prime Monday Night Hockey. It's on Monday. It's on Prime. We're also brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network. Congratulations to Rob Harvilla, who has a podcast called 60 Songs I'd Explain the 90s. It is also available right now in book form. You can buy it.

You can buy it for the holidays. You can buy it for your friends, for your coworkers. If you like music, I would highly encourage you to check this book out. I would also encourage you to check out The Rewatchables. We have a new one coming on Monday night for how much did that movie make month? This is a movie from the 2000s and it made a lot of money and that's all I'm going to tell you. So stay tuned for that on Monday night. Prestige TV podcast. We're covering the crown. We're covering the curse. Looks like we're going to be doing Fargo too. Stay tuned for all of that on the Prestige TV podcast and check out all of our pop culture stuff. We have the Ringerverse. We have House of R. We have the Ringer Reality Podcast.

We have The Watch. We have The Big Picture with the Rewatchables. I can keep going and going. That's it for Ringerplugs. I'm a little groggy right now. It's West Coast time, except I'm on the East Coast.

So usually I take this at 8.30 at night. Right now it's 11.30 and I'm old. So we'll see how this goes. I'll either be more entertaining or less entertaining, but not exactly the same entertaining. Cousin Sal is going to join us. We're going to talk about a wild and wacky week 11 of the football season next.

First, our friends from Pearl Jam. All right. We're taping this a little after 1130 Eastern Time, Salem on the East Coast. You struggled with this today, huh? Even early on. It's so weird. You wake up, I'm just ready to watch Ringer Wiseguys and have my coffee at eight in the morning.

And you just, you're up and then you're up and then the day's going. I walked around Boston. It was like 1145. I still had an hour plus to go. It's so dangerous because you just, the more time you have, the more you start trying to talk yourself into more bets. Although I did great today. So I wish I had talked myself into even more, but it's just, you're waiting, you're waiting, you're waiting. And then by the time everything gets going, it's one o'clock. I'm from the East Coast.

I don't know how the East Coast people do it. Me too. We come back every week to do Kimmel shows in Brooklyn and Monday night football starting at like 820. It's like, what? I want to go to bed. This is insane. Well, we had this Denver, Minnesota game tonight that kept me awake.

That was pretty exciting. And it was one of those cases where it wasn't enough by Josh Dobbs. But on the other hand, it's amazing that Josh Dobbs is doing this and keeping his team in every week, getting the crack picked at him. I thought he got possibly concussed

like three different times during this game today, including the first quarter, but hung around, hung around, hung around. Puts Denver in the position of, oh, come on, Russell Wilson, no way he brings them down the field unless something stupid happens. Nope, he just kept checking down, moving the ball down the field. You were calling it. You predicted it, I think, 20 minutes before it happened. Denver was going to score, not get the two-point, and not cover the minus two and a half, and it was

exactly what happened. Yeah, well, too many of my idiot friends had the Vikings money line for any other scenario to play out. Yeah, of course, Denverver i don't even think they tried the two-point convert i was surprised they even tried like there's no way they're gonna make this so you might as well take a knee and avoid the the nonsense where it gets brought back for uh points or whatever but uh yeah that was tough uh you know you're rooting for dobbs and then he does stupid things and actually the turnover they kept turning it over and Denver must have more than a field goal out of it. Madison turned it over and he turned it over and it wasn't that

good, but 21-20 felt about right. Denver somehow 5-5 now. In this bizarre AFC playoff race where we have five, we still have 10 teams alive and 500 or above. Plus we have Vegas at 5-6 and it looks like we have 11 teams alive and 500 or above. Plus we have Vegas at five and six. And it looks like,

oh, we have 11 teams, my bad. And it looks like the Chargers are now out and we'll talk about them later. Last place in the West, right? Yeah. So the big thing that happened today, Cleveland beats the Steelers in a game where Pittsburgh's special powers finally died. It was the classic setup where we've watched them do this for two straight months and it seemed like they were going to do it again. This was a game that had 17 punts. This was a game that had 73 passes for 271 yards. They couldn't even combine, couldn't get to four yards of pass. And a super violent game where it seemed like every single screen pass, bubble screen pass over the middle,

somebody was just getting crushed. And Cleveland ends up winning it. And I thought our guy DTR kind of did enough down the stretch. I think he was like four for four or five for five down the stretch. Got a field goal drive. And now you have everybody else in the AFC North falling apart.

Even Lamar is hurt. I'm starting to get ideas with Cleveland, Sal. Well, they have seven wins. They're probably two wins away from making the playoffs, right? There's probably going to be a lucky nine and eight team and then 10 and sevens the rest of the way. But yeah, you're right. It was exactly that.

It was that the Browns were about to put it away and then the Steelers were like, no, no, we're the Steelers. We're the most full of shit team of all time. You're not allowed to win. And then that was it. DTR went down and it was a good drive. Yeah, I'm watching it, guys. I'm like, will you let me know when Pickett has 50 yards passing?

And there was silence for two hours. It's just, it's the same crap with them. It really is. So they deserve to lose one of these. It reminded me of when we used to play Tecmo Bowl in college, not together because we didn't know each other, but Tecmo Bowl, the old version, you used to have four plays.

And if you called the play correctly on defense, the moment the person hiked it, there was 10 people behind the line of scrimmage just annihilated the quarterback. And Cleveland had about 11 of those today. Where it was like, they're hiking it to pick it. And three guys are just charging him like there was no offense of mine.

And then Pittsburgh was flying around too. I actually, I was looking at Cleveland's schedule with how good their defense is. They're at Denver next week. They're at the Rams. Home Jacksonville, home Chicago, at Houston, home Jets, at Cincy, who won't have Burrow. But there's a case their defense can just win four more by themselves and they could get to 11 and six, which would get them possibly a five seed. And I think you want the five seed this year because that's probably Jacksonville

or Houston. Those are the teams you'd want to play. I don't know, though. Do you think so? I was trying to think of that, ranking the top four seeds in the AFC. Everybody's got two or three wins. Give me your four. Let's do the draft. I really don't know because I was just thinking like Jacksonville. We wrote them off kind of last week because they got crushed

by the 49ers, but they had won five games before that. Then they won handily today. Lawrence and, you know, the one hookup that we're probably haven't seen like formulate but would be afraid of is Lawrence against Ridley. Not against, but Lawrence and Ridley. And that seems to be developing a little bit here. So that could get scary down the stretch. But why would you think Baltimore or Kansas City or Jacksonville,

how would you even know to rank them right now? Tennessee seems like they've packed it in for the season. Yeah. And if I'm looking at Jacksonville's wins, Indianapolis, Atlanta, Buffalo, Indianapolis the second time, New Orleans, Pittsburgh, and Tennessee. I'm just talking about seeding.

I'm just not that impressed by them. Don't you think Houston could potentially beat them in week 12 and then all of a sudden now Houston's the whatever? I'm the least, I'm the most suspicious of Jacksonville. So that would be the four seed? Yeah, I think even though

Miami looked a little goofy today, I still would think I would have KC Baltimore, Miami, kind of levitating above everybody else, whoever wins the AFC South, and then probably Cleveland in the driver's seat now with this five spot. But what's crazy is that Houston, because they stole that Arizona game today,

it's now pretty realistic Houston can get in, especially if they beat Jacksonville next week. The AFC is super fun. And then we didn't even mention Buffalo and Cincy are still on the outside looking in. And I think those were two teams that people were buying futures for, for the AFC.

You know, they're preseason favorites with some people and neither of them might make it. It's so funny. I think it's super fun. I don't mind if Cleveland gets in. I mean, I have money on them going kind of doing just that and you know Houston Stroud's fun

had a little tough go of it today even though they pulled it out but I also don't feel like we're allowed to have fun things in the AFC with Burrow being out and you know probably Josh Allen let's look at their next four and you know they're a

crap team, but everyone loves Herbert. So you're likely not going to see at least two of those three, probably all three of those quarterbacks. So we have in that Brown-Steelers game, the Browns after that game, they've allowed 243.3 yards per game

on average, which is the lowest since the 08 Steelers, 238.1, who went on to win the Super Bowl. Now, they had Ben Roethlisberger. They had Heinz Ward. Probably a better running game. The Browns couldn't get their running game going at all today.

But it is, you know, this is a pretty big sample size now. Now that's two-thirds of the season where you're like, all right, we haven't seen this in 15 years. That's not nothing. The Browns are, yeah,

they're a top five team against the past over the last two decades. That's the numbers bear out. You're right. And there's enough games to look at. There was a moment. Did you see the miles Garrett moment where the, uh, he actually had a helmet.

Everyone was getting PTSD. It was like, yeah, it was like a triple H moment with the sledgehammers. Like, Oh no, he's like, is he going to do it again?

He showed mercy on everyone. He just handed it back. Well, I'm looking at the teams they're playing next. I don't know. It felt like Wilson. It feels like you can get to him, right? I don't think Denver is going to be able to throw on them. The Rams today, Stafford barely made it through that game.

We'll talk about that later. And then they'll have some tests later. But yeah, I think the Browns are going to make the playoffs. That was one of my takeaways from today. Just their defense is good enough that that unit is probably good enough to get them there, despite

what we saw on offense, which was pretty awful. A couple more wins. They were minus 345 this time last week when we did it. People definitely looked at their schedule and said it was soft. You saw the Chargers wave the red flag?

The brown flag? The blue flag? What's the worst possible flag they could have waved? Someone wiped their ass with a flag and they waved the brown flag. That's it. It was the poop brown flag.

Five of the Chargers' six defeats this year have been by a combined 14 points. And I don't know. We're taping this pretty late on Sunday night. We might wake up tomorrow and that might be it for Staley. Staley was, did you see his quote after the game? Got angry. Yeah, I saw it.

I'm calling the defense? Yeah, I'll read it. Because they're asking like, now saw it. I'm calling the defense. What did he say? I'll read it. Because they're asking like, now are you going to give up the defense after Jordan Love drove down the field and got the game winning drive on you? And he got mad. He said, I have full confidence in our way of playing.

Full confidence in myself as the play caller and the way that we teach and the way that we scheme. Full confidence in that. We've got to bring this group together and do it consistently. And that's where it's at. You can stop asking that question. I'm going to be calling the defenses. So we're clear. You don't have to ask again. He sounds like Nicholson. Are we clear? Crystal. But he did it in your voice. Yeah. Yeah. For. For some reason, he was talking like me. It was so weird. That wasn't a soundbite.

That was... From a gambler's perspective, though, you see the Packers plus three. And you're like, I don't like the Packers. I don't think Jordan Love's good. But why would the Chargers be favored over anyone? Like, this is going to be one of those stupid games. Who was it? Quentin Johnston dropped that pass.

Could have had a touchdown, whatever. There's always going to be one or two of those. So why would you ever trust the Chargers? To me, that was one of the few games this year that if you gambled on it, you probably have a gambling problem. For anyone to look at the Packers Chargers in Lambeau and be like, I know what's going to happen.

I have a feeling. There's just no way. Nobody knew. The players didn't know. There was no trend to follow. Um, but it was interesting. I do think the Packers love is starting to get at least a little confidence with his receivers. Watson finally scored. I finally, I waved Watson from my third and final fantasy team that I had him on yesterday. And I was like, I know he's going to

score now. He's I've been carrying him like a canker sore for nine weeks or 10 weeks. Finally got rid of him. But he got going. That read is pretty good. He had a running touchdown today. Romeo Dobbs, Musgrave. There's signs of them being a little spoilery in the second half and at least beating somebody.

And the Lambeau crowd was into it. Maybe even on Thanksgiving. Maybe even a little spoiler there. Who knows? It can't all be easy. They're not out of the playoff race. That's right. I mean, you have...

So Minnesota is now 6-5 as the 7th seed. And they have a game-and-a-half lead over Atlanta's 4-6, Rams' 4-6, Green Bay 4-6. But one of those teams could make a run. It might be the Rams. the game and a half lead over like Atlantis four and six Rams, four and six Green Bay, four and six. But one of those teams could make a run. It might be the Rams, but I, I would probably pick them over the Packers,

but, uh, we're just not going to be able to cross any. If we did the cross offs right now, I don't think we get to 10. We can't. I mean, the commanders were on the NBC graphic a few minutes ago and they're four and seven and they're as bad as,

I don't know why, but I could talk about that game for 40 minutes. I didn't even know the result of it until I read Magic's tweet and he really takes you through the whole journey. Can you read the tweet? Do you have it? You want me to read it? Yeah, call up the Magic tweet.

Alright, I'll pull it up in a second. Well, get ready because you're sitting down i mean it's yeah let's hear it all right uh i have it if you can't find it i got it right all right wow exclamation point my washington commanders turned the ball over six times today and gave the giants 24 points off turnovers we lost 31 19 that19. That was the tweet. That was it. I saw somebody tweeted underneath it who has a following with something like, come on, Magic, I'm taping the game. Don't tell me what happened. Is he going to have an app with, God forbid, all the scores? I mean, what's next for him? It's got to be a bit at this point. Kimmel asked him

about it when he was on the show, right? I think so. And he never got around to it. He was supposed to. Oh, he never actually got around to it. Okay. Yeah, it's got to be a bit. So our guy Tommy DeVito got a win today. Yeah. And actually, they're pretty confident. He

threw some dimes. I had a, because I was in Boston, I only had the one TV with the YouTube TV on it. So I had a, cause I was in Boston. I only had the one TV with the YouTube TV on it. So I had red zone in one of the squares, which was the first time I had done it that way. And every once in a while, DeVito would pop up with some sort of thrown a rope. I'm like,

what happened? It's the same guy who like couldn't complete a pass for a month. That was a physical game. They were going at it. Every play by the sidelines was like, you know, they added about

seven seconds to the game. And I think this is one of our policy firings, Bill. I think Robo Ron has to go into the GM's office and they say,

hey, we like you, but Tommy DeVito lives with his parents and he threw three touchdown passes against you. Nothing personal. We have to let you go.

His mother washes his underwear. You're fired. That's it. The Giants have scored 149 points in 11 weeks. You have to now go. I looked up Rivera's career. You know, so this is his 13th season. He's only had three winning seasons.

Were you aware of this? Magic didn't tweet it, so how would I ever know? Yeah. Somehow, this is his 10th of 13 losing seasons, but somehow career is 102 and 96 because he had a 15 and one season and a 14 and two season with the Panthers, but 10 out of 13 losing seasons. That's spectacular. Who's going to do that again. That's spectacular. Like that, like who's going to do that again? That's gotta be some sort of record. I'm with you.

I actually think there's some first, there's some second coach fired, I guess would be the bet potential tomorrow. And I'm not sure. Stanley versus, uh, versus Robo Ron. Yeah, I don't,

I, you know, I, that was my eliminator. I got crushed, but I was like, I look at these box scores. The giants had zero rushing yards with nine minutes left in the third quarter.

The Commies had nine sacks. The first downs were 28-13 Washington. Time of possession, Washington won by nine minutes. I don't know how the hell they lost this by double digits. Crazy. Well, it was great for the Patriots because now the Pats are right there at number three. Right.

In the mock draft. If you're right in the mock draft, just put Marvin Harrison Jr. right next to us. That's what you want. Caleb Williams, two. Marvin Harrison Jr., three. Well, we might go higher than that. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, nobody wants to. I mean, the Bears were fighting for you a little bit. They blew a 93% chance of winning there. Oh my God. Let's take a break. I want to talk about the Bears. I want to talk about Arizona.

This episode is brought to you by my old friend, Miller Lite. I've been a big fan of Miller Lite, man, since college days when I was allowed to have beer. I think nephew Kyle is a fan too. Miller Lite keeps it simple for us. Undebatable quality, great taste. Picture this. It's game day. All the gang's here.

You're tailgating outside the stadium. It's a great time for beer. Or how about when you're standing at the grill and the smell of sizzling burgers is in the air? Moments like that. Or when you want a light beer that tastes like beer, that's delicious. You don't want to load up on those heavier beers and then you only have two of them. Then you feel tired. Your stomach feels full. Miller Lite, it's your friend. It just accompanies whatever else you're doing. You're super happy with it. Opening an ice cold Miller

Lite can signal the beginning of Miller time. Miller Lite is the light beer with all the great beer tastes we like. 90 calories per 355 mil can. So why not grab some Miller Lites today? Your game time tastes like Miller time. Must be legal drinking age. This episode is brought to you by Movember. The mustache is back with a vengeance.

Look at Travis Kelsey. Before he rocked that Super Bowl ring, This episode is brought to you by Movember. The mustache is back with a vengeance. Look at Travis Kelsey. Before he rocked that Super Bowl ring, he rocked that super soup strainer. Grow a mustache for Movember. You'll do great things too. You won't win the Super Bowl, but your fundraising will support mental health,

suicide prevention, and prostate and testicular cancer research. And if you don't want to grow a mustache, you can still walk or run 60 kilometers, host an event, or set your own goal and mow your own way. Do great things this November. Sign up now.

Just search Movember. All right, so you mentioned the Bears. So that was the game that everybody and their brother teased or had in a Moneyline parlay or a million other things. And the game's over. Goff has fallen apart.

Goff is 2020 Goff. It's just like flashbacks to the last Rams season. He's just throwing the ball to the other team. The Bears are really impressive on defense. They finally had their full team. They're flying around. Like, they actually looked like a professional team. And then offensively, it was the version of fields.

We've all gambled on all the different versions of fields. This was the scary version where it's like just a lot of plays, him controlling the ball, him handoff. Oh, no, he didn't handoff that time. He's just running around doing that sweep, cutting back in, getting eight yards, throwing a couple long completions. And it really looked like they were just going to win. They go up 26-14. I have the Lions and the Tees down to

one and a half. And I'm just like, my brain's racked. How are they going to pull this off? Oh, they're going to have to get a touchdown, stop, touchdown, two point. And then it happened. And Jared Goff just woke up. He became 2023 Goff. They fly down. They get a touchdown. They get a really nice stop against the Bears.

They come back down. They get the touchdown. They get the hold your breath two point. They even get the safety. They almost covered the spread outright. The real spread. Yeah. They scored 17 points in like six minutes. Crazy, yeah.

He shoves the obese lineman through the end zone when the ball gets kicked. Otherwise, that's covered. That was the game of the day. Chicago couldn't close it, though. I mean, they had Fields who was 16 for 104 rushing, and he was 16 for 23 passing, and they needed 10 yards. And they just did the most predictable plays possible got stuff punted

and that was it. It's not their fault they're like we're not used to this what are we supposed to do we're up 12 with 4 minutes left. How did we get that last first half? Somebody else take over here? I will say if we're talking December spoilers because we know we have those coming I think Chicago is one I think Arizona is one because I thought Arizona was really good in that Houston game. They had a couple of bad

luck plays. They had a couple of penalties on big plays where plays got called back. But if you're just looking at who can fuck over your three-team teaser that you're so excited to make in week 14, 15, those are two candidates for me. There's no walkovers. I hope you're right because the Eagles end with the Giants twice and then Arizona. So those are the last three games. So I pray that you're right

that one of those gets screwed up. I think this was a really bad seven days for Detroit's defense. They gave up in the last two weeks Chargers last week, Bears this week. Not exactly two juggernauts. They gave up in the last two weeks, Chargers last week, Bears this week, not exactly two juggernauts.

They gave up 759 yards. They gave up 49 first downs. They gave up 135 plays. And the reason I mentioned that is because it just seemed like the other team in both those games had the ball forever. And in the Chargers game, their offense was able to just come back down or erase it right away. In this game, Goff was throwing picks, which made it worse.

But they, you know, their defense got a stop at the end and Hutchinson was great today. But I don't think they can cover. And when I don't mean cover the spread, I mean, I don't think they can cover. And if we're just looking at like, who's getting out of the NFC,

I think Philly can throw in them. I think San Francisco can throw in them. I think San Francisco can throw on them. I think your team could throw on them. And the more I watch them, I can't take them seriously as a team that can win the NFC. Is it possible they score too quickly? Because like you said, they don't have the ball. Time of possession was 40-20 today.

And it seemed like more. And I think their defense is just washed when they're on the field. Everybody gets full possessions against them. Three and four drives at a time. It gets to the point where you're surprised that they get a stop.

Which I don't think is where you want to be as a defense. I saw Dan Campbell had a great post game. I always like watching those. That should just be a Twitter account where it should just be like locker room speeches. Because I feel like I missed like two-thirds of those. He had a really good one. He gave the game ball

to Hutch. Hutch gave in. He gave the generic player speech. Way to keep grinding, fellas. Let's go next week. We're building something special here. It was nice. Hard Knocks was back. Yeah, I thought one of those teams, either my team or the Lions, was going to look ahead

to Thursday. It was a Lion. Both won, but it was the Lions, for sure. I think your team was trying to look ahead to Thursday. Yeah, they were. But Carolina wasn't having any of it. I got to say, I knew you would watch that game, so I avoided that on my four TVs.

How was it? It was fun. Well, there was a minute where it was a little dicey, but they're just not a good team. And like I was about to say, they're undisciplined. And I know you're a big Frank Reich guy, but no, I think add him to the list. I don't know.

They should be a little better than that. But we have a guy, Deron Bland, who has four pick sixes this year. Like a Fresno State fifth rounder last year. I don't want to mention some receivers that four touchdowns is more than for a cornerback. But Derrick Henry has four. There's a lot of guys who you'd expect to have four touchdowns that don't. So that's promising. Well, our guy Frank Reich is on the hot seat.

That was reported before the game. Then they got spanked. And when the new owners, the guy can come in and within the first five years be paying two different coaches that he's fired on top of the coach that he hasn't hired yet. There's got to be a name for that. Really hard thing to pull off where you're like, I'm so bad at hiring coaches.

Remember this happened to the Browns owner when he came in. He had, what was that guy? Mike Petten. And then he had Rob Chudzinski. Then they brought in a third guy and they're paying like three different coaches. Yeah. It was a disaster.

Yeah. When the Raiders do it, it's Troy O It's like the Haslam-Troyoka. Yeah, Troyoka. Oh, the Raiders. Yeah, it's like the Mark Davis. The Raiders are doing that too. Yeah, I think he likes it though. I think he gives himself a bonus if he keeps more than three coaches on the payroll or something.

But you know, the other thing is they're undisciplined. Like I was saying, they had two or three, they had three personal fouls, the Panthers. And that's a terrible look for a coach. It's one thing if you're getting manhandled, but not good. Yeah, I always thought five-yard penalties are always a good litmus test that your team isn't

really well coached. The unnecessary roughness, all those 15-yard personal foul penalties, that's always a good indicator. And then having a shitty record. That's another thing I'd like to look at. Hey, if you look at the NFC playoffs right now,

our round one matchups would be Detroit against Minnesota. That's a good one. San Francisco against Seattle. And your team playing New Orleans. Your team has won the lottery with this round one in the NFC.

You're paying somebody. It's always the same thing. You're playing New Orleans or Atlanta. And it looks right now you have a two-game lead over anybody who can get the five seed. So you could be in the rare situation of resting your guys because you've locked down the five seed getting ready for last year.

Yeah. Yeah. When we went to Tampa, uh, to, to do, do away with Tom Brady and his career, we ruined his career.

So yeah, that was last year. Yeah. I hope it's not like you said it where the, all those division matchups that we've seen twice already. What'd you say? Minnesota, Detroit,

and then Seattle, San Francisco, Seattle, and New Orleans, Dallas. And then you say? Minnesota, Detroit, and then Seattle, San Francisco. San Francisco, Seattle, and New Orleans, Dallas. And then on the other side, right now, the other side's great. These are like boxer matchups where it's like puncher

against the boxer type thing. Baltimore against Houston, that could be the 2-7 if things ended right now. Miami, Pittsburgh, can you think of a weirder matchup than that? One team is all offense and the other team can't score. Although Miami's defenses look a lot better lately. And then Jacksonville against Cleveland would be the 4-5.

And if I'm Cleveland, if I can lock down that 5 seed and know I'm playing Jacksonville and Jacksonville where Jacksonville isn't even really that good, that would be the win. Yeah, out of those three, you'd rather go to Jacksonville than Baltimore or Kansas City for sure. No question. The other weird thing that happened was the MVP right now, Mahomes and Hertz are in a dead heat now at 3-1. And it feels like whoever wins tomorrow, that will be the favorite.

Lamar's at plus 450. Two is 6-1. Burrow's out. Your guy Dak's at 16-1. Purdy's back. He's at 16-1. Stroud, 20-1. And Josh Allen, 20-1.

Wow, Dak was 30 last week. Yeah, it's getting good. It's getting good. They're both 300. I was going to look at... Well, now it's screwed up because I assume that Minnesota will win that well, now it's screwed up because I assume that Minnesota will win that game, which would be a big push for Dobbs for a comeback

player of the year. Bill, I almost compared Josh Dobbs to Patrick Mahomes. I had to stop myself. I had to stop myself, Bill. I'm glad I did. There's some in Collinsworth today. Judy faked the throw to the right. Oh, he went nuts. And he was running past, Collinsworth was like, oh, oh, oh. He was like chortling.

Like for a minute and a half, he lost his mind. But O'Connell, I thought for coach of the year, O'Connell and Ryan's for Houston, I think are making a move on, kneecap Dan there. Could be close.

Dolphins Raiders, we mentioned. A really bizarre game that I had. What am I? I won all my million-dollar picks. I did the sweep this week. I saw that. The 4-0.

But one of them was Miami first half. Miami game parlayed with Dallas first half. Dallas game. And Miami is just making you sweat the whole time. And it's like, why am I even sweating this? Their defense is dominating the Raiders. O'Connell, he completed one long pass. That was it.

And Tua just, it was one of those Tua games where he threw one pick, but it felt like he could add five. You got JJ upset by saying that. John Jastrzemski got very upset. Well, it was, sorry, I speak the truth. It was one of those games where he was just staring at whoever he was going to throw at right away. And sometimes it's great if he gets

rid of it in two seconds, but when it's three seconds, four seconds, it's pretty easy to jump in front of it. I just didn't think he was good. I thought their game plan was weird. It felt like Mostert could run on them the whole game. They weren't doing it. And the Raiders were hanging around, hanging around, hanging around. They almost covered the first

half or won the first half. Then down the stretch, they had the ball down seven with a chance to tie the game and missed a couple throws that it felt like if the throw had been on. I didn't think O'Connor was bad. I didn't think he was good either. He was better than Brian Hoyer. Toe tapping out of

bounds. I had the Dolphins all over the place. I was like, this is going to be the one blowout. I'm not going to screw around with teasers too much. And then as soon as that... I don't know if you saw the first drive where... Was it Mayer? Was it a tight end that caught the ball? And then they said it was no fumble, but it was returned for a touchdown by

the Dolphins. As soon as they called that back, I was like, I don't have to watch the rest of the game. It's going to be a nail-biter. I know it's going to happen. They called that one in. Tyreek now has 1,076 yards and eight TDs. He sat a little too. So I don't know. What's their record now?

So they have seven games left. 2,000 is going to be hard, I think. Yeah. 2,007 games? I'm saying he to be hard, I think. Yeah. 2007 games. I'm saying he'd need I guess 924 more yards in the next seven games. That's about

maybe 130 a game. It's doable, but it doesn't give him any room for a shit game out of any of the next seven. Plus they're playing on Thursday. They have to need that last game, too. Against the Bills. Who knows? Vegas is five and six, but I think they're

a cross off because they still have KC twice. They have Minnesota. It just feels like there's three more wins. That feels like an 8-9 team to me. The Bills got back. They got their mojo back a little bit. Yeah, we should have seen this. This should have been our only bet of the week.

A bunch of people were mentioning how when Josh wins, I think Lombardi had this on one of his platforms where he was saying when Josh has won 60 games and 45 of them, he's also covered or it's been a big spread. When he's a seven-point driver.

Yeah. I just was too scared after watching that Denver game. I know. I just couldn't do it. And I wasn't going to bet on Zach Wilson either. So that was a stay away for me. I feel like the short week applies to the grudge you hold against a team too. Not you, everybody.

Me, me too. Like if they had lost that game on a Sunday to Denver, I might have been over it by then. But they lost on Monday. It was still fresh. It was a night game. But when you looked at the Jets and you're like, wow, they have two touchdowns and 55 drives. And one of them, the Eagles let them in. They let them score. This team cannot move the ball. If you believe at all that the Bills have a chance to make a run at anything this year,

it has to start with this game right now. And they lost to them week one. I mean, for God's sakes, it was all there for us. I don't know why we didn't do it. And the Zach Wilson thing, it felt like the ship sailed a couple weeks ago. Salah now is finally, they have the Black Friday game on Friday.

Great idea, by the way. Great marketing, fun to say. Black Friday game, oh my God. And Salah would not commit to a starter for that game. And I don't know what's taking him so long. But Flacco signed with the Browns. Is Flacco worse than Zach Wilson? Zach Wilson, I would say about as unplayable as we've ever seen a quarterback.

I mean, they run these replays of Garrett Wilson running this perfect three-step cut, double cut back, and he's opening turns, and Zach's already there, and he's throwing his hands up. And at some point, you've just completely lost the team, and it felt like today was the day. He's bad, no question about it, but I really don't want to give Rodgers credit here. You think he'd be that much better with this team? You think they'd break like 21 points every week? I think that offense got smoked today. Their offense is pretty flawed, actually. I know

we get excited about Brees Hall and Garrett Wilson, but there's not a lot of time, not a lot of separation if you watch it. And now they got this Boyle guy who's Rodgers' friend, right? Did you see his stats? I know he's been a pro for a minute. He's got a couple stats.

But out of college, he had, for UConn, he had one touchdown and 13 interceptions. How does a guy like that get drafted? Oh, my God. That was like DeVito, too, right? DeVito was like pretty run-of-the-mill at Rutgers. 1-13 is a crazy ratio.

There was a Rodgers thing today about how the Jets are in disbelief. thing today about how the Jets are in disbelief. There's some report the Jets are in disbelief. The tape they've seen of him and he might start practicing December 2nd. It's just all genius by Rodgers. I agree in the disbelief. It's like, oh, I could have come back, but now we're out of the playoff race, so I'm just going to wait until next year.

Just perfect. What is he coming back to? They have no chance in the playoff race, so I'm just going to wait until next year. Just perfect. What is it coming back to? They have no chance in the AFC. They're so far back now. You would need at least one of Pittsburgh, Houston, Buffalo, and even Cincy with their backup QB would all have to go the other way and then have to leapfrog them. And by the way, they'd have to beat Miami in this Black Friday game.

Yeah, that'll be seven, right? Will that be seven losses? Yeah, that's a wrap. That's it. And Rodgers is going to come back for the game after, like two and a half months. This is the dumbest story. I said this last week, doubling down. This is

one of the dumbest stories. I can't believe people are reporting this. This is a real thing. Oh, you never go, oh, you never know. He's targeting the December 16th game. Is he? He's going to play? He's going to play football this year? Get the fuck out of here.

How much do you believe like he's sending the players videos? Like they're all to a man. They're stunned. They can't believe the progress he's made. They're probably like, now screw you, man. This is either a fake injury or get the hell back or stay away and rehab like everybody other 40-year-old that would have this injury. Ridiculous.

Right now, Shio Kapadia tweeted this. The Bills have a plus 104 point differential on the season, which is fourth in the NFL and second in the AFC. They haven't lost a game by more than six. And their offense is fourth in EPA per drive and second in success rate. So they're like the classic

if you just didn't watch football and you were on an island and somebody was sending you stats like you were Desmond and lost and you're just like, whoa, the Bills, they might have been, you just didn't see any of the actual games. You'd think they were doing well. I have not changed my opinion of them after that Jets game.

They fired Joe Brady. I'm sorry, they hired Joe Brady because they fired Ken Dorsey. We didn't get to talk about... He had it coming, man. They had 12 men on the field. That's his fault. They should have told somebody. Pass interference at the end. That's the fault. They should have told somebody. Pass interference at the end.

That's the OC. He's sanctioned. They condoned it. We didn't talk about the Burrow thing because Mallory and I talked on Thursday night. We figured it wasn't great, but we didn't think it was. He's just done for the year. I don't know if that Bengals team would have had it anyway because of the schedule they had coming and some of the games they'd already given away. But man, that was abrupt.

And they were winning. They were beating the Ravens, right? Yeah. They up 10-7 or something. He's going to keep them in every game, but yeah, it's just such a bummer. I hate it. And I came on the way at the end of our podcast last week. I said, isn't it remarkable how the AFC North, as gritty as it is and as many injuries as there's been for quarterbacks, the AFC North has four guys still standing, starting quarterbacks

and another game wasn't even played and Deshaun Watson went out and then Burrow went out Thursday. We lost two since last week. Pussel Marr has kind of hurt and Kenny Pickett's morale is crushed. So there's no help.

I picked up DTR in our keeper league last week because I had Burrow. Burrow murdered my week this week and really murdered my season when you throw in the first two games. I love Joe Burrow, but it's just part of being fantasy. It was not the year to have Joe Burrow.

So now my quarterbacks next week in our stupid flex league that Dave Chang convinced us to do before he went off to cook at the F1 race. I'm going to have Aiden O'Connell and Dorian Thompson-Robinson as my two flex QBs. Somebody should declare my team out for the year, like Joe Burrow. I had Tommy DeVito starting today.

Yeah. Oh, you started, Tommy? Yeah, of course. I had to get him in there. There's no option. Now you have to bid on the Bengals on Browning, right? I don't know if I'm going to do that. I might just hold my nose. The only other game we didn't mention, Rams-Seahawks.

I snuck out a million-dollar pick win of the Rams because it was plus one when we did million-dollar pick win of the Rams because it was plus one when we did million-dollar picks. By the time it got to the game, it was either minus one or minus two today, Rams. So it was either a push or a loss if you had them at minus one, half, minus two.

It was, first of all, Aaron Donald, it seemed like he actually killed Geno Smith. He hit Geno Smith. The hardest I have seen a quarterback get hit in five years where there wasn't a flag. He did the same thing we've watched over and over again, where he was throwing the ball. He hit him with both hands. It seemed like helmet to helmet and shoulder to both shoulders. They just let that one go. And Gino, it was like, oh my God, is he going to get up? Holy shit. No quarterback has been hit like that this year.

Gino leaves. He's got this big giant thing on his right arm. And Drew Locke comes in and the Rams are down 16-7. And I'm like, oh my God, I might be able to steal this one. And go figure, the Rams come down and they get it. It was the bad coaching Olympics though. We were texting. We were going nuts doing this one.

Well, I live bet the Rams at like minus 150. They didn the bad coaching Olympics though. We were texting. We were going nuts on this one. Well, I live bet the Rams at like minus 150. They didn't even have the lead. It was 16 fourth. I'm like, they're going to go right down here and kick a field goal. And then Drew Locke's not going to be able to do anything. And then McVay had, I don't know. We met McVay. He's a very nice guy. I feel like

he liked us, but he keeps screwing me over here. Not why are you throwing on second down incomplete? You could have killed the clock totally against Seattle. And then in comes Gino and the guy for Seattle who hadn't missed, who was a real good kicker, misses.

Who was it? Jason Myers? Jason Myers from 55. Yeah, McVay had to keep the clock moving three times so Seattle would use all their timeouts. For some reason, he threw a really high degree of difficulty slant pass on second down. And not only did that not work, but it stopped the clock.

It bought them an extra like 35 seconds. And all of a sudden, Seattle's driving down. They hit Metcalf right over the middle, which was like, I wish there was a way to live bet just that pass because you knew they were going to throw it to him. And then Myers comes out. Myers, I have him on one of my teams this year. He's been money.

He's had some four field goal games. He's been great. Pushed it. Just shanked it. And the Rams stayed alive. And the Rams, that kick was either the end of their season or now they're getting ideas. I thought Stafford for the first three quarters of that game was awful.

And then he heated up down the stretch. But I thought he missed Puka and the end zone at one point. He threw it on the wrong shoulder. And just in general, it was sailing throws. Yeah, sidearm throws off balance. I almost think even though they're two games behind Seattle, I think the Rams might be in maybe a better spot. Is that crazy?

Did you see the next four for the Seattle? I don't know if they win one. 49ers. Give it to us. 49ers at Cowboys at 49ers versus the Eagles. Holy shit. Could they be six and eight? Well, and plus you look at the games that they've

won. Now, they beat Detroit early in the season. Right. But they have wins over Carolina, the Giants, Arizona pre-Kyler. They beat Washington. They beat Cleveland during, I think it was, I can't remember if Deshaun played in that game. They've

lost to the Rams twice. No, that was a P.J. Walker game. P.J. Walker, two interceptions. They've lost to the Rams twice. No, that was a P.J. Walker game. P.J. Walker, two interceptions. They've lost to the Rams twice. They lost to Cincy, and they lost to Baltimore. So they're kind of the, not even the good-bad team. They're like the half-decent

good-bad team. Do they have playoff things up yet? No, they might not have them up yet. Yeah, I might bet them to not make it. I just don't know who would steal it. Who would steal it from them? It would have to be the Rams or... I can't believe I'm saying this,

but I can't count out Atlanta yet because they went back to Ritter and they're saying all the right things about he needed a reset, whatever. I actually like some of the throws he makes in these games. It's just he would make two, three stupid plays a game, but he can throw the ball downfield. They can run the ball. They've been in all these games. It's just he would make two, three stupid plays a game. But he can throw the ball downfield. They can run the ball.

They've been in all these games. It didn't bug me today on his bye week. That's about it. I actually think Tampa, I think you called it with Tampa. They were gutty today and you're right about Mayfield. He's always going to be about one or two throws that you can count on him

making it like Evans or tight end Otten or Godwin. I wonder if there's a way of math. It does feel like there's going to be an 8-9 team in the NFC. Now, it might be the NFC South team. It could be the 7th seed, which I don't know if that's ever happened where a wildcard team hasn't even been 500. That'd be tough. There's an 8-9 feel with the NFC. All right, we're going to

take a break and then we'll do guest lines. All right, just one, you mentioned the Niners-Bucks that we talked about right before the break. Purdy's last two games, 40 for 51, 629 yards, six TDs, no interceptions. We can't do this again.

Purdy's back, man. They did loss Hufanga, though, which I think he's out for the year. That was a do-it-all guy for them on defense. That's not awesome. They look good, man. They look rock solid. I don't know who announced it.

They're like, and now the 49ers are in first place and Seattle relinquishes. I'm like, what? Oh, that seems like that was three weeks ago, but they're that good. Well, Sal, it's finally happened. Week 12, we have three Thanksgiving games. We have a Black Friday game.

We have a bunch of Sunday games. We have a Sunday night game and a Monday night game. It's my favorite week. And we have Giants-Pats, which has a chance to be the worst game of the year. This Black Friday game, pretty great idea. Yeah.

I always felt like on Friday, people are online. You might be going out. Good day to go out, maybe hop to a mall, maybe go to the beach, do something with the kids or the fam or whatever.

But it's always like, I kind of wish something was on TV other than this college game that I don't care about. Good time though too. It's noon. It's three Eastern, noon Pacific.

So it's not like a, you know, 9 a.m. It's right in the middle of stuff so you can get stuff done otherwise. I just wish the Jets weren't involved because it's just a really tough watch. Yeah.

I can't only imagine how the Jets fans feel. I've seen enough Jets this year, and I'm not even a Jets fan, and I'm good. I don't want to watch another minute of them. They fell so in love with the idea of Aaron Rodgers being on this team. The Bills-Jets was a 4 o'clock kickoff today. Why the hell would that? Who would care about that?

And then, like you said, this Black Friday game. But, alright, so be it. Well, as usual on Thanksgiving, we have a blowout game, a seemingly favorites-going-to-win game, and you throw them in a tease, but then you're going to have to sweat it out.

And then we have a really good game. I think they figure out how to do it intentionally where the lines are always like four points apart. What is our record against each other this year? Are we tied? You're creeping up on me. It's 5-4-2. I have the lead. I don't like it, but I was way off on a lot of these. I'm not going to give you any more hints here on how to play this. All right, Thanksgiving game number one. We go to Detroit, as always.

This used to be a horrible location for the first Thanksgiving game. Yeah. And now the Lions are actually fun to watch. They're hosting Green Bay, who's looking a little frisky, who should be able to throw in them. And wherever this line is going to be, I'm going to want to tease the lions and I'm going to talk myself out of it, but I'll end up doing it. I have lions seven and a half. Here we go with the cheating. I said seven. It

is in fact seven and a half. I just did the same line as today against the bears because the Packers and bears are the same team. Are they though? The Packers are four and six. The Bears have three wins. I thought that warranted a half a point. If the Packers played the Bears on a neutral field from what you saw today, who would you bet on? Well, they already crushed them, right? I'm saying right now

with the healthy Bears. Don't inject logic into this. I like the Bears slightly more. Anyway, all right. But it's nice though. Anyway, all right. You know, yeah, but it's nice, though. We got Goff. It's no Joey Harrington, no David Blau. Who was some of the... I mean, the Stafford years were fine,

but there were some... No, there was always one... Yeah, there was always one shaky quarterback. Kitna. Yeah. I think the Packers... If you take the points in this game, there's cheap touchdown potential with them, and there's also hang around potential. There's also the potential of Jordan Love just completely shitting the bed because he roped everyone into thinking he's competent this week against the Chargers.

Every week, whoever the quarterback is against them looks awesome. Right. I thought we saw the best version of them against the Chargers. I do think they can throw in them though. Next one. Your boys. Cowboys. Are you just permanently in the spot now?

The second spot? This is the Dallas spot? Yeah. Where have you been? Yeah. I'm saying like how long has that been the case? Oh, forever. Like what do you mean?

This is it for the rest of our lives until we die. It's going to be Lions, Cowboys in these two spots. I have a whole rant about this. It's never going to change. No, we don't need it to change. Thanksgiving is about sameness. You have the same meal every week. You watch the same teams.

We send the crap teams like Atlanta and Indianapolis to London because we won that war. And we get to see the Cowboys and Lions. We get whatever we want. Well, you get to see Washington this week. You get to see what's our new nickname for Riverboat? Rowboat Run? Rowboat Run? Yeah, I guess so. Freightos Canoe Run?

He doesn't even deserve that. Lake Town Canoe Run? Am I right to be nervous about this game? I hate it. Howell's a little scary. Yeah. You just feel like you're doing everything right and then he somehow

creates some play out of nothing. But it feels like their coaching is just abysmal. Like how do you lose this game? You're going to lose this game? Our coaching's not great either. But yeah, we should be able to put enough pressure on Howell make him run around to win. How mad is Raheem going to be when I do a three-team 10-point tease and tease the Lions through the zero to the other side? It's all-time pet peeve in gambling.

I don't think it's that bad. I know. I called in your show today. I had a 14, 13-point tease where I took Miami through the zero. They were like plus two. What was the other line that was like 14? Well, Detroit was the funny one. Oh, I took Dallas through it. Yeah, I took Dallas through the zero. I had Miami, I had Detroit at plus five, and then I had Steelers Browns over 20 and it hit. The 13 point tease is great. I mean, it's the 13 point teases. Great.

I mean, it's the dumbest bet ever, but Oh man, this is so irresponsible. Two and Oh, on 13 point teases this year. So irresponsible. Yeah.

He would, Raheem gets mad. He's like, Oh man, Oh man, you're not teasing through any key numbers. You got so upset, but yeah,

he's got like his focal points where it's just like, you're not allowed to do this. It's like crossing the beams in Ghostbusters or something. I like it. So I have for this one, I have Cowboys by 10 and a half, and I'm probably too low against Washington. Son of a bitch. It is 10 and a half.

What do you mean? No, it's 10 and a half. I said nine and a half. You get it. Oh, my God. This is not a good start for is 10 and a half. What do you mean? No, it's 10 and a half. I said nine and a half. You get it. Oh, my God. This is not a good start for me. Two for two. Exactly.

Oh, I thought I was too low on that one. I was off on this one. So you're going to sweep Thanksgiving at least. 49ers at Seattle. All NFC teams on Thanksgiving. That's usually not the case. Yeah, that's weird. So CBS has one of these games.

You get that Romo for the Cowboys game then? Romo will do... No, I think Fox is the Washington-Dallas game. NBC, San Francisco Seattle. So Romo is Lions-Packers? I believe so. I'm not positive. Yeah.

We'll look. Well, now I really want to get this 49ers Seahawks game right. You just have to get it within two and a half to beat me. I'm going to say 49ers by three. Oh, good. I get this. Wow. I said three and a half. Six and a half, Simmons.

Wow. They are writing the Seahawks off. They don't even know if Geno Smith is playing or not. I mean, I assume he will. They should put in the injury report, instead of elbow, like Geno Smith, parentheses, elbow, it should be Geno Smith, parentheses, almost murdered by Aaron Donald. Because it was almost an actual

murder on NFL field I think they would have to have a trial if Geno Smith died from that hit

yeah just traumatic feelings out there was no harder hit this year in the NFL than that hit on Geno

Smith 49 or six and a half so basically they want us to do a three-team, seven-point tease where you bring the Cowboys down to three and a half. We're going to do it.

That comes down to Sam Howell scrambling around. Yeah. Down 11, gets the touchdown. Now they're going for two to get to three. And now you have to sweat out the two-point conversion for your three-team set. That's how my Thanksgiving's going to be? That's it.

That's it. Well, just do an adjusted line thing. So you can get Dallas minus two and a half. And then Fandle has a million adjusted lines. So do the three. But the thing is, how many times have we seen a team win by one or two this year? It feels like more than usual. It just came off on. Yeah.

Our guy, John Ewing, who listens to this podcast and sometimes he'll have some like clarification gambling. He has some sort of gambling data bank. I'd love to know if there were more minus one and minus two wins this year than in other years, because it might be the same. But like today we had two of them. We had two one point wins where the team, you picked the team and you didn't cover,

but you had the right pick, which also happened last week a couple times too, I think. I think it's happened four times in the last two weeks. Yeah. Well, it happened to Atlanta like twice early in the year, and Green Bay was involved in a couple of those. Well, I have something to say about what

you, but I can't. We'll give away the week if I say it, but it's an astounding number. All right, Black Friday. Wow, look at us. Finally got ourselves a Black Friday game. Dolphins at the Jets. And I think this line has to be higher than seven because that's how bad the Jets are.

I'm going to say Dolphins by seven and a half at the Jets. You picked three out of the first four exactly right. Are you kidding me? I had six and a half. It is seven and a half. Hey, why not one of your four-teamers? Why not one of your four-teamers now? Dolphins aren't going to blow that. So can we combine Thanksgiving and

Black Friday with a little four-team seven-pointer? What do they have on that? That's plus 200, right? I think it's right around there, right? Your fucking team's going to blow it. All four favorites? The Sam Howell two-point. And it's going to happen.

And 10 million people are going to tweet at us, oh, there it was, the Sam Howell two-point. He's going to run around for five seconds like Paul Crew at the end of Longest Yard trying to get it. We will reimburse anyone who loses on this. Go ahead, Simmons. Tell them. That's what we'll do.

We've never done this before. FanDuel, we'll reimburse your bets. We just have to clear it with them. Black Friday, Dolphins, Jets. Four-teamer. Let's do it. We don't have to collect on Thursday. We'll wait a few more hours.

Tyreek's first touchdown today was unbelievable. The slant with three different defenders in front of him, and then he put the jets on and just zoomed through them at a 45-degree angle. Holy shit. I think we're going to get to a point where the defenders are like a left fielder who knows, or like a right fielder who knows that Barry Bonds just hit it like 480 feet,

and they don't even move from their stance. Oh, they just do the stop? Yeah, they just stop. They don't even go back to the warning track or anything. I think that's what safety is going to start doing. I don't want to be embarrassed. Sunday marquee. So I picked Texans Jags for this.

Even though there's probably more famous matchups, um, the AFC South, if the Texans win, this officially becomes a thing because they've already beaten the Jags. So then the Jags would have to beat them by one to win the AFC South. So this is kind of, I got to say,

this is like our first playoff game. It's not a playoff game, but it's the first kind of playoff-y game. And we're far enough down the season now. We have six weeks left. You had this over Buffalo-Philly, huh? Yeah. Wow. All right. Because I think it's a more important game.

I don't think... Eh, maybe you're right. Should I put Buffalo Philly there? That could be 1A and 1B. I mean, I'm not going to... All right, I'll move Buffalo Philly up, too. We'll do two marquee games. It doesn't really matter.

Nothing ever becomes... No, you know what? It matters to me. It's what we do, Sal. It's why we stay up late at night on the East Coast. Texans-Jags in Houston, putting it right in the tic-tac zone. Breaking out a whole thing of tic-tacs.

And I'm going to say Texans by one and a half. Oh, you had the tic-tac theory correct. But the wrong side. It's Jacksonville minus one and a half. I had Jacksonville by two. I didn't think they were going to give them the respect just yet. That line is a mistake.

Now you want to tease that to seven and a half. I think that's a straight up. I mean, there could be an adjusted liner there with the Texans. Bring them up to three and a half or four and a half. Something like that. Put them with something else. Yeah.

Texans plus four and a half or four and a half, something like that. Put them with something else. Yeah. Texans plus four and a half or like a close game that you're just getting more points than the one and a half. They beat up on Arizona. Did we even talk about Arizona? We kind of skipped over that. I wish we had. It was a weird one because the

line was like four and a half, five and a half, six if you got it early enough in the week. people got screwed on the four and a half and one on the five and a half if you had Arizona. But they really got lucky, Arizona. I mean, Stroud was bad in the red zone, right? Like Murray's exciting and all that stuff. And they stayed with the game, but and they had the lead early on. But that was weird.

Little meltdown for Stroud. It was weird because I felt like both teams got super lucky because it seemed like Houston was lucky that Arizona kept shooting themselves in the foot when they felt like Arizona should have been winning after three quarters, but they weren't. Every time it felt like Arizona was going to

come take the lead, they didn't. Then it felt like Houston had it, and then Stroud threw a dumb pick. Stroud probably killed his MVP campaign that wasn't even really a campaign, but he just, he had a couple of dicey throws in that game. But yeah, I thought, I think that Cardinals team, that's another one. That team is not, that's not a rollover team. The rollover teams right now, I think Tennessee is in there. I'm not positive they care about winning another football game this year. Carolina can't help themselves.

Yeah, they're just overmatched. Every department, really. You're mad at third team? Jets? I think the Jets have to be kind of monitored here. Because if they lose this game, they stayed with Zach Wilson so long,

it almost started to get suspicious. This was done two weeks ago. Two weeks ago, we were saying they can't play him again. What did Salah see? What did you see out of him today that he hadn't seen in the last three weeks? Well, he took two weeks ago, he took the fifth. Remember they asked him?

He said, I just don't want to talk about this anymore. I know. I have no comment. Well, he took the fifth. Remember they asked him? He said, I just don't want to talk about this anymore. I know. It was shocking. I have no comment. I don't know why Frankie Five Fingers was in town. What did he do when he took the fifth? Frankie Five Fingers? What did he say?

What did he say when he was like, I forget. Oh, Michael Corleone. Did I say that? That was Salah talking about Zach Wilson. Other Sunday marquee Eagles Bills in Philadelphia. And

I'm going to give this a strong Eagles minus six. Oh, wow. All right. I get this. It's three and a half and that's what I said.

That's dumb. Now I see why you didn't want to make this your Marriott marquee. Whatever. That's a dumb line. That's so much respect to Buffalo. What has Buffalo shown? What's good about Buffalo at this point? If you're saying they're going to go into

Philly and they're only getting less than four points, then you're a legitimate playoff contender. I don't even think Buffalo's going to make the playoffs. I guess everything is... We believe in their defense now because they held the Jets to six points. Who can't hold the Jets to six points?

The Eagles lost to the Jets. I think everything's a must-win for the Bills now, so they're going to get an extra point deducted or in their favor. I might bet that tonight. That's a stupid line. I think the Eagles are the best team in the league. Yeah, they probably are. I don't know. I thought three and a half was fair. There's so much more bigger and powerful than the Bills are. Everybody on their offensive line is bigger than every single bill. They're just

going to do the same thing Cincinnati did against them. They're just going to beat the hell out of them. Short week, who knows what happens against Kansas City. You're betting that there's going to be no injuries, I guess. I promise you I'll have money in that game. Yeah, unless something weird happens in the KC game. The watchables.

Actually, let's take a break and then we'll do the watchables actually let's take a break and then we'll do the watchables alright the watchables we have cards home for the Rams it's not a loser leave town match because the Cardinals

already left town and left none of their belongings in the house I have the Rams favored by one and a half against the Cardinals in Arizona. I know you got that exactly too. I had two and a half. It's one and a half.

All right. You're up four to three. So right now, and we're not even halfway through the slate. We have the Seahawks as a home dog on Thanksgiving. The Jets as a home dog on Black Friday. Texans home dog against the Jags. And the Cards home dog against the Rams.

Our next game is Browns at Denver. And I think the Broncos are going to be a home dog, which would be home dog number five. Well, I was going to say Browns by one and a half. In Denver. It's Denver by one and a half. It's Denver minus one and a half. Wait, you said Browns one and a half? You're still going to get it. I said Browns by two

and it's Denver minus one and a half. So you get it. You're closer. That's craziness. I don't know if Fandle will watch that game tonight. I can see the whole DTR in Denver. Denver's won four in a row. I can see it.

I just personally think the Browns should be favored. What was the stat that Raheem sent us? I think it was like a Todd Furman tweet. What was it? Oh, they're plus 10 in turnover differential the last three games, Denver. Oh, my God plus 10 in turnover differential the last three games, Denver. Oh my God. That doesn't continue. There's no way that continues.

Not against the Browns. I honestly do not know how they will complete any pass for more than four yards other than just Wilson doing the thing that he's now seemingly perfected where he just throws it up for grabs to Sutton. Sutton jumps up and get it.

He's got two straight weeks of that exact touchdown. He just heaves it towards Sutton and hopes something happens. He has mastered the screen, like the bubble screen over the middle. He just lobs it just over the front line there. I don't know how he gets it done. This over-under should be, it's 36 and a half. I feel like that's high by four points. You were all over on Wise Guys today.

You were all over that Brown-Steelers under, which kept dropping. Where did it start and where did it end? It ended at 32 and a half, right? Yeah, I think it was 32 and a half. I saw it somewhere was 34, but yeah. I mean, how the hell is that not going to be 10-7 in the fourth quarter? Chiefs, Raiders in Vegas. This will be home dog number five. I'm going to say Chiefs by 10.5 in Vegas.

Who gets this? We split it. I said 7.5. It's 9. Right? We split it? Yeah, we split that. That'll keep going up.

Yeah. I don't know. Short week. Could the Raiders really pull this off? No. I do like Antonio Pierce, and I do wonder when in doubt, just hire a former defensive football player

who just seems like a man's man who's fired up on the sidelines and just seems like he has everyone's respect. Might be the way to go. You don't think Josh McDaniels was any of those? Bring Ray Lewis out of retirement. Let's get him in. Where's Bill Romanowski? Let's get him a head coaching job. Just some sort of intense linebacker.

Let's do it. Just throw him out there. Fairly watchables. Colts, Bucks. The Colts are just lingering in the AFC picture to the chagrin of everybody.

Can't they get another bye? Do they have to play this week? This is in Indianapolis and I have... I'm going to get this one right. This has Colts minus two and a half written all over it. No, that's

not what's written. One and a half is written all over it. Oh, Tic Tac Zone. Yep. Wow. We're going to add them up. There's a lot. There are a lot. Colts one and a half. Okay. Next one is Falcons minus two

over the Saints I just gave away my answer in reading it it's in Atlanta I have Falcons minus two over the Saints

I had to pick them and it's one and a half New Orleans favored New Orleans is favored oh my god another home dog I could maybe steal them alright

6-6 Jesus that's a big game for division purposes right I could maybe steal them. All right, 6-6. Jesus. That's a big game for division purposes, right? I should have put that in the watchables. I might move that up. Yeah, that's a decent one. Even though I'm the only one who sees the list. So that's Jameis in Atlanta, potentially,

or are we getting a check down car again? I haven't heard their car's ready. He's ready to check down Carr again. I haven't heard their car is ready. He's ready to check down. Steelers-Bengals is the other one. This could have been a marquee game and then Joe Burrow got stolen from us. Lucky Steelers have them twice still. I actually did have the minus one and a half

for the Steelers for this one in Cincinnati. The Steelers minus one and a half? No. Yeah. I had Cin the minus one and a half for the Steelers for this one in Cincinnati. The Steelers minus one and a half? No. Yeah. I had Cincy minus one. It's Cincy minus one and a half. Oh, come on. Yeah, the Steelers don't get respect until they botch everything at the end.

So this is stupid because I'm going to be right, and by the time that game actually is played, it's going to be Steelers by one and a half. There's no way the Bengals are going to be favored over the Stewart's when we actually get to the game. It's not happening. You think? No. Alright. What's his name? Browning? Yeah, Jake Browning.

Jake Browning? What's his name? Kenny Pickett? It's fine. I like the Stewart's defense a hell of a lot more than the Bengals' defense. Yeah. They better not blow this. Come on, Cincinnati. Hold on. Poop Fecta, Titans,

Panthers. I think these two teams have packed it in. Yeah, maybe. I'm going to say Titans. It's in Tennessee. Titans by three and a half. You get this one. I said five. It's four. All right. Four, five, six, seven, Two, three, four, five,

six, seven. Let's do it. Seven, seven. Can I make a plea to our friends at YouTube TV? Yeah. Keep this off the... I love multi-view, as you know. Yeah, I think this is a ban from multi-view game. The Giants-Pats is fun.

I might actually see people watching some of that. That's like a train wreck. Titans-Pats is fun. I might actually see people watching some of that. That's like a train wreck. Titans-Panthers is just, there's nothing fun. It shouldn't be on red zone. We should just pretend it's not happening. Pretend there's like a power outage. Nobody needs to see one minute of this.

The Titans, that's another box score I look at. I'm like, all right, Levis 13 for 17. That's not terrible. And Henry, 10 carries. So what happened to all their plays? This team just doesn't get any offensive plays. Wasn't it 28-0? I guess it was 28.

They just started garbage timing it. They ran a trick play to make it 35-14. The guy in red zone was fired up about it. It's cool. Instead of losing 35-7, we lose 35-14. I took Giants' pats out of the poopfecta and put them into the spilled port-a-john category,

which is the second time we've used that this year. Oh, no. It's worse than in poopfecta. That's a tipped-over port-a-john. Stuff's coming out. There's chemicals. There's feces and pee, and it's disgusting. It's Mac and Tommy.

You don't like this? This has a chance to be one of the worst football games ever played. You don't think? These are the two teams that have the least amount of points per game. I think each of them, the Pats had the least points in the league, and the Giants had the least points per game. Right. And now they're playing.

Yeah, it's the lowest over on there, 34. I have Pats favored by one and a half. You're going to get this. I said pick them, and it's Pats by three and a half. Oh, my God. What the hell? Three and a half. Now, it's not like you're going to take the Giants because you like the hook there.

That's ludicrous. Eight, two, three, four. That's another home dog for us. I think you're going to beat me here, and then that's all that's going to matter. We got the night games is all that's another home dog for us I think you're going to beat me here and then that's all that's going to matter we got the night games is all that's left shit this is the biggest Patriots game

what in four years really they need to lose this game they really have a chance now to get a franchise quarterback. They can't fuck this up. I hope they see it.

I hope they understand. And we were talking about it this week. It's so much harder to tank in football because you have all these dudes that are playing for next year's contract. They're trying to get good tape of themselves. It's not like basketball where you can just sit Dame Lillard and say he's got some injury and you've just crippled the team. I'm glad you see it that way.

I do like that. But I do think this is a game where you're like, you know what, we want to give Mac Jones one more chance. Because Mac Jones is done. He's broken. He's broken emotionally, and the team has given up on him. This is a game where you play him to help you lose to the Giants. You have to play him.

And then after this, don't play him anymore. So you're saying the Giants can screw you again like they did in the Super Bowl twice by losing this game. They could screw you. This is the third Super Bowl, in my opinion. But you're not rooting against them. I watched some Drake May this weekend.

Yeah, he's fine. He's good. He's good. I don't... I think that Caleb Williams upside is higher. You got a 30% chance of getting it right. That's why I just,

no one should get too excited about getting the first or second or fourth pick. Well, they, I want to be in the top three because you don't want to fall below three

because then you could get Harrison at three. I guess they could take the top left tackle. There's some tight end that's in the top five, which is weird. there you go.

Now, they need to lose this game. Sunday night. I love it. I love it all. DeVito Jones. What a matchup. That was my favorite thing from your... Was that on your page too?

Oh, yeah. The Jacko and I used to have that joke in college when it was like the worst possible matchups. We always used to love that. I think it started because it was there was one playoff series and it was like the Jazz against Portland and it was like, Porter! Stockton! And we thought it was

like the funniest thing ever. You did it with baseball. I think the first time I noticed it was like, it's Fox baseball! I forgot who it was. It was like Arizona against Cleveland. Yeah. Something like that. Sunday night, Ravens Chargers.

This is in LA. You get this. You wrap it up here. I have Ravens by three and I'm probably too high. You got it. I don't know why I said two. It's four. What is it?

You win the week. It's four. This could be a dumb game for the Ravens. They're clearly better than the Chargers. I mean, they should be able to run on them. I'm just going through it in my head. How do they lose this? It's dumb turnover. I don just going through it in my head. How do they lose this? It's dumb turnover.

I don't know. Staley wins this. Staley's fired. They do it for the new coach. I don't know how they could win this. The Staley era has had a lot of fourth quarter games that came down to some sort of moment with like three minutes left.

And I would say they've been involved in more of those than anyone else in the league. I think so. I think they blew three already. Yeah, I think they blew three out of the 10 weeks. Herbert has had the ball a lot at the end of games and it does not always go well. Monday night, Vikings home for the Bears.

That's a tough game. This was 19- 1913 the Vikings won I had Vikings by 3.5 probably too low of course you guessed it exactly right I had 4.5 3.5 is right

okay alright so you win 5-5-2 after 12 oh Jacoby's gonna be so upset didn't I have like a 3 game lead or something you won the first 4 weeks

was it the 4? oh crap I thought you were up 4-0 here's what I wanted to point out 1-2-3-4-5 lead or something. You won the first four weeks. Was it the four? Oh, crap. I thought you were up four and up. Here's what I wanted to point out. One, two, three, four, five, six games in the tic-tac zone. Either one or one and a half. Wow. We don't see that.

And so to your point, I think there must be more games falling on that number because the odds makers are seemingly always right. They're going to lose that game to the Bears if they don't bring Jefferson back. I think the Bears are like, their defense is pretty good. They can run the ball. Fields is pretty comfortable in that offense. Look, there's seven versions of Fields, but the one today is pretty hard to play.

I thought they were flying around. They seemed really invested in the game. I was impressed. I was too. They can't hold a lead, though. Josh Dobbs isn't scared of playing from behind. It'll be interesting.

We're going to take a break. Let's do some Parent Corner. Today's Parent Corner is brought to you by Simply Safe Home Security. Thanksgiving is time for lots of family visits and even more food. And with Simply Safe Home Security, you get the peace of mind you need to truly enjoy everything you're thankful for. With advanced security technology and 24-7 professional monitoring, your home feels just how it should during the holidays and every day, like the safest place on earth.

There's no safe like SimpliSafe. All right, what do you got, Sal? All right, I want you to invest in an app. We can come up with it, but I'd like you to, I don't know what this is going to be, but I'll explain this scenario and we can figure out what to call it or whatever. So it's for, you know, so if you have multiple kids playing multiple sports, you usually do the divide and conquer thing, right? Like, all right, I'll go watch the younger boy and then you go watch the older boy or whatever. Right.

And it's always anyway. So I'm not going to say who's who in this situation, but one of you, you or your spouse is taking a kid to a wrestling tournament an hour away. And the other is taking a different spawn to a travel baseball league tournament an hour in the other direction. And the one driving the kid to baseball realizes she or he left all the baseball equipment in the car heading to wrestling the other way an hour. And so then you realize the baseball equipment car has to leave the wrestling tournament to drop off the equipment at a meeting spot in Saturday LA traffic where the 10 is on fire and you got to reroute everything anyway. This is awful. Yes, yes, yes, yes. So I think the first part of the app has to alert

you when the equipment is for each kid. The headgear's in mom's car, the wrestler shouldn't be in that car. It's got to alert you that the equipment is in the wrong car with the wrong kid. The other part of the app somehow has to prevent you from committing a felony when you find out you drove an hour to a meeting place to drop off the equipment and it all ended up being in the other spouse's car anyway. Oh, no. So there was no reason. Yes.

Aside from like a sliding glove and like a shin guard, everything was in her car. His or her car. I'm not going to say who's who. Yes. So that's it. So one of the spouses had all the equipment but did not realize that all the equipment was actually in the car because they didn't look hard enough.

85% of the equipment, accusing the other spouse, how did you not put the equipment in my car? Blah, blah, blah. All right. How do we get this to work? Let's drive to effing Fontana Cab. I don't even know where the hell we were to meet up. All for not. That's the app.

Prevents a felony and keeps the equipment in each car. It's amazing that anyone stays married. That's another app altogether. Like when they have those beer commercials and the stuff about like they celebrate the heroes

or whatever, like the real heroes are anyone who could stay married for more than 20 years. Right. Through events like that, where they're just like, you know what? Fuck this, I'm out of here. Yeah. And that's it.

It's too much. It's okay. It only happens like twice a week. So it's all right. You can get through it. Yeah, but then they can flip it back on you It's too much. It's okay. It only happens like twice a week. So it's all right. You can get through it. Yeah. But then they can flip it back on you because you didn't realize. Of course you could have checked.

Yeah. You don't, but you also don't understand what I'm going through because dot, dot, dot. Right. I know. It's never,

it's, it's never just my bad. I'm apparently not good at understanding. Yeah. I get that thrown in my face. I don't understand either. You know, we're just, maybe we're just not good at understanding. Yeah, I get that thrown in my face a lot. I don't understand either. Maybe we're just not good at understanding stuff. We're dumb.

We're dumb people. Can we do, before I do my parent corner, can we do a friend corner? Yeah. Our friend Daniel, who is organizing our cousin Jimmy's birthday dinner. And to say he was over the top with the organization, I would

say would be an understatement, right? He's completely out of his mind. He's trying to figure out Babydoll or Agent Babydoll offers to pay for the bill. And this delights Dana to no end. And he's trying to figure out all these ways to run up the bill,

even though it's a preset check, because we're going to Chang's restaurant, Major Domo. We famously do this with him, but when he's, when he's there, when baby doll's there, that's when it's fun.

this is a running thing you've done for 25 years where baby's pay, baby's going to pay. So you'll sneak over and you'll order another bottle of wine or you'll buy a bottle of champagne for somebody else's table. And then baby gets it on the bill and he flips out. But baby wasn't at the dinner. Right. Which removes, I'm going to say maybe not a hundred percent of the humor of doing this, but maybe like 99.9%.

A lot of it. Yep. Yeah. Not stopping Daniel. He decides there's going to be a sketch. We're going to film it. We're going to send it to baby doll and then he's going to somehow a sketch. We're going to film it. We're going to send it to Babydoll. And then he's going to somehow get mad on text. And somehow this is going to be delightful to all of us. So we sit down and he's just all obsessed with doing this. And this is an hour of our dinner. Come to find out after that all of the planning that Daniel's done, which was a lot.

I don't know if it was as much planning as the first episode of Jimmy Come Alive, but it was close. It's a lot. And he did invite Jimmy's friend, Cleto. It was like 11 people there. It's like, why wasn't Cleto there? And it was because Daniel had some old email and Cleto's email address wasn't on it. And Cleto, who's known Jimmy since he was, what, eight years old? Best friend growing up. I would say it's his

best friend in the world. He's his band leader. They've been doing TV for 23 years. Was not at the dinner that Daniel planned, but we had this sketch with a script for Baby Doll's thing. Even for Daniel, this was amazing. Just an unbelievable

watershed performance by him you would think he wouldn't delete people inadvertently from the list if he wants to pad the bill he should have added

15 make sure all all the possible friends were there right yeah really really special stuff you don't understand

Daniel Corner would be would be we could replace Paracorn I don't know if we can get sponsored. Hey, buddy. Cool.

Let's do it. Came back to Boston with my wife and my son to see my daughter. And then we're all going back for Thanksgiving. But it was the first time the four of us were together as a unit in like three months. Nice. And we were walking around Boston yesterday and I was just like, you know what, this feels right. This is what it should be. You don't realize when you have a family and everybody gets older and you're all supposed to be together. And then all this, I guess,

is we all get older and then people go one way or the other way. But then when they're all back together, it's like, this is what it's like that i now feel like my life is in order so i don't know how long it's gonna last but so we like yeah she was she was lying in bed with us on uh on friday night we're watching a movie she fell asleep whoa whoa she was yeah and we always used to joke when she was a kid we used to call her the waterlogged corpse because when she fell asleep it would just she wouldn't move and it would just be like when there's like a dead body and the killing or something, or that's like just waterlogged. So she was waterlogged, corpsing. And I was like, this is great. It's like, nothing's changed. We're all back together. The waterlogged corpse is just sitting there with her arm on me and we're back.

But anyway, it was just a positive, happy para-quarter. It's good to have the family all together. It got me all excited about the holidays and Thanksgiving. I'm excited. Hey, I wanted to ask you what was it like when Zoe saw Ben? Because I keep, one, I'm like, that might be a weird moment. These kids haven't seen each other in two months. Is there a weird like, oh, I kind of don't know this person

that much? It was a huge hug and then within 28 seconds, he was just Snapchatting his girlfriend and ignoring all of us. Oh, okay. All right. Yeah, it was fine. We got back to normal really fast. Nice. That's it. All right, that's it for Parent Corner.

Today's Parent Corner is brought to you by SimpliSafe Home Security because your kids are full of all kinds of surprises and holidays are no exception. SimpliSafe gives you the support you need for the holidays and every day. Right now, you can save up to 50% off your new SimpliSafe system with fast protect monitoring. There's no safe like SimpliSafe. All right, Sal, what do you got? What do we have? Cousin Sal's winning weekend. I had Eli. Now Danny White, my very first favorite player. I got to sit down and talk to him. He won six Thanksgiving games, Simmons. Six and oh, it's going to be tough to beat as a cowboy. So I talked to him. That won six Thanksgiving games, Simmons. Six and 0. It's going to be tough to beat as a cowboy.

So I talked to him. That's on Friday through the ringer with Tate on Tuesday morning. Ringer Wiseguys on Sunday. Always fun with the crew and against the odds. We're going to do it Tuesday and Wednesday. There you go. It was fun. I was listening to Wiseguys today walking around

Boston on the DirecTV app. It was great. Oh, is that what it was? Yeah, that's why I was, I was just on my iPhone and I was like,

this is great. I'm hanging out with my buddies. There you go. Walking around my favorite city. All right, cuz, good job by you. Good job by you,

buddy. All right, that's it for the podcast. Thanks to Cousin Sal. Thanks to Steve Cerruti. Thanks to the birthday boy, Kyle Creighton. I will see you in this podcast on Tuesday. Don't forget about the rewatch.

Well, it's Monday night. See you on Tuesday. Feel the air Sweating On the wayside On the first I never said I don't have Fear