The Bill Simmons Podcast - The Smashmouth Giants, Bumbling Chargers, Stumbling Packers, Week 1 Overreactions, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal

Episode Date: September 14, 2026

The Ringer’s Bill Simmons and Cousin Sal react to Week 1 of the NFL season before looking at some of the futures they already regret. Then, they Guess the Lines for Week 2 before ending with Parent Corner. (0:00) Intro (1:08) Week 1 reactions (01:07:33) GTL Week 2 (01:28:13) Parent Corner Host: Bill Simmons Guest: Cousin Sal Producers: Chia Hao Tat, Jessie Lopez, Chris Wohlers, and Trevor Rabone Enter for a chance to win superior soccer, basketball, and golf prizes at https://michelobultra.com/SuperiorAccess The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit https://fanduel.com/playwithaplan to learn more about the resources and helplines. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Kentucky, Wyoming. Game problem, called 1-800 gamble. or call 888-7-7-7 or visit ccpg.org slash chat in Connecticut. This stream is brought you by the Farmers Dog, the official pet food of the NFL, the Bill Simmons podcast, live on Netflix. I am here with Cousin' Sal. Wanted to mention we have a new rewatchable is coming tomorrow night. We did Rambo First Blood Part 2.

Me and Kyle Brandt. Who cares? Mark. You can watch some people get shot. You can just watch Giants Cowboys Sunday night. Cowboys minus three-point favorites in Giants Stadium,

New Look Giants, a lot of people loving the Cowboys, a lot of theories that Jerry Jones has been quiet this year because he has a really good team finally. Explosive offense. A lot of high hopes. And unfortunately for them,

you jinx them on Wednesday. with all of your Drake May writer. Oh, no, I did. You did. No, I did. You did. No, you did. You were mean about Drake May.

You were mean last Super Bowl. You were mean last Super Bowl. You were mean this week. You got a little on your high horse. And now it all backfired with Camp Scadaboo just scattered all over your body. Oh, crap. First of all, I didn't, I was nice about Drake May when they lost the game. You were never nice.

I tweeted his names in capital letters and exclamation points. Like, what more, how much nicer could I be? I would have felt bad. for you tonight, but after you said Drake maybe 330 times over the course of the week, it's more than that. How about maybe the Cowboys could have stopped the same play over and over

again. All right, put them up. Put them up now. Oh, wait, are you going to run another swing past to Singletary? You haven't run that for two plays, you motherfuckers. You can't get over the side and stop somebody. So bad. He had the ball once for two-thirds of the second half. And

this defense, this vaunted defense that was supposed to be, you know, ready to roll and new defensive coordinator, all these new changes. And you got steamrolled by a bunch of oversized white guys. Let's be honest. I didn't even know who was who. It's like number 45, 44, 41, guys are moving around and you just got bulldozed.

Okay. I didn't know we were going to inject racism into the podcast. I'm looking at the rundown now. It's not on there anyway. We're going to go over our most futures we regret. Cam Scadabo. It's like he's, no, he's, no, he's, He's going to be running the ball here.

There's three minutes left. I know. He's going to run for 13 yards anyway. I can't argue. Well, I can't argue with any of it. The only thing I didn't jinx it because I refused to give those those nicknames that readers, readers, followers, watchers, viewers, viewers, listeners wrote in and gave, you know, Jackson Dard. And I was like, no, no, no, I'm not following for that. I'm not doing that because I'm going to come up here.

Medieval. Upset. Right. And there was some other ones, too. But, you know, first of all, this is unfair that I couldn't do the Wednesday night show with you. Why can't I do tonight's podcast? You got to do the Super Bowl after me. After we lost by 30 points, you got to come on and take a drink, maybe victory lap.

You weren't in the Super Bowl. Come on. We were in the Super Bowl. I don't know. New York Football Giants, 29 first downs, six in completions. That was it, six? I don't remember six. Six incompletions, 29 first downs.

How many third down conversions? Only nine? 100. It felt like 100. He was doing third and nines, third and 13s. That was the most in-controlled darts been. Anytime there was about to be a turnover that it felt like you might get, either you didn't get it or they didn't throw it or fumble it.

And then offensively, it felt like you guys were on autopilot the whole game. I didn't really understand. I didn't see the urgency in the first half. I thought the end of the first half was really weird. Dak just throws it up for grabs. All of a sudden, they're coming down for more points. I didn't like the coaching. I didn't really like anything I saw from Dallas.

It is week one. This is a bummer. It's such a bummer because I did like them. I really felt like I'd have reason to like them going into this year. There was nonsense and they signed all the players they needed to and the rookies were playing well and they looked prepared. And yet they looked so unprepared tonight. So unprepared.

The corners were a mess. It's embarrassing. You have like Darnell Mooney. And all right, Isaiah likely. he's a nice player, but he's not going to Canton anytime soon. He's open by like 20 yards. Looks like they're playing with nine defenders. You got Christian Parker in there. By the way, this guy could be an eagle spy. We got him from Philadelphia, so he could be a double agent. Oh, like a Ramira Mendoza. The Red Sox got Ramira Mendoza, and he tried to torpedo our season.

That's it. You're going to read about it. It's going to happen. But last year, it was like missed penalties, miss tackles and dumb penalties, and, you know, guys would get beat. But this is just like blown a sign completely whiffing on a assignments. I know we had young players out there who had rookies all over the place, but just totally unprepared. A bummed with Schottenheimer, Christian Park I don't love, no adjustments at all. I don't even know what to say. Like you said, yeah,

the offense was flat. I don't think we would have won that game anyway. I can't give my enemy any credit. I just have to put my own team down. You understand that, right? Nine penalties for 90 yards, so that didn't change from last year. I thought the Giants played a great game. And both you and I were

shorting the Giants heading in to this season. And one of the reasons was I thought Harbaugh was overrated, what he did with Baltimore and et cetera, et cetera. There was a moment in this game when they had a lead late, and then the Cowboys come back and they score. And it's like, oh, I used to watch Harbaugh do this on Baltimore. He's going to do it again.

Then your guy taunts. Your guy gets the first touchdown taunting penalty in like three years. Yeah. Oh, really, you can't hold the ball out as you're running into the end zone. Like they call that every time. Aubrey misses a P. to you and then all of a sudden it feels like you never get the ball back. But listen, the Giants, they did remake their team.

They looked like a professional football team. I don't like the Giants either. I got to give them credit. Super physical. They put their quarterback in positions to succeed. He wasn't like running around, taking huge hits. He really only took one big hit. It was a hard hitting game too, by the way.

Yeah, it was. Not really for him, but it was a late hit, I think, somewhere in there. Yeah, here's the thing. I just, I don't want to give them. I'm so pig-headed with this, but I kind of look at them like, who's the pitcher on the Brewers? Mizoroski, right? Like, oh, my God, this is amazing when things are going good.

But would you be surprised if it just stopped one day just because of his style? Because he throws 104 miles an hour, like 75, 70, 80 pitches. I feel like the Giants played battery ram football look great tonight. Wish I were playing him in week four. Well, the question with the season and the reason, one of the many reasons we went underwereux. with them was because I didn't think Dart or Scada but would last

for four months. But you caught them tonight. The whole team was healthy and they actually pretty good. I know hand it to him. I can't remember the last fun Cowboys Giants game? Now, I know that wasn't fun for you, but in general, like a pretty compelling game. I thought the strategy and the coaching and I thought

the Giants played really well, you guys have fun players on offense. Like, I had a good time. That was fun. I don't remember the last time I had a good time watching a Cowboys Giants game. I'm glad you had a good time. I felt the same way. We both lost our Ringer 107 picks.

Oh, I know. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I felt I said the same thing with the Seahawks Patriots. I'm like, I can't remember the last time these two teams played and I had a good time. Oh, wait. Oh, no, no, no, in February, too. Oh, see, this is, now you're going to go six and 11. I don't know.

Can I just say like, steady up? I was so excited for today, right? And then you have to get used to physically watching eight screens at one. So I had to actually take Advil because, you know, I'm not like the Red Zone rejects. I don't mean to whatever. However you watch games, it's fine. But I have to watch. Red Zone Rejects.

I like that. Like the Red Zone Booger Raiders? It could have been worse, you know. Yeah. I said Red Zone rejects. But yeah, I like watching the body language and drive stalling and stuff. You know, you're the same way, right? You like watching all the game.

So that's the physical part of it. But I forgot the mental part of it, how angry I get over the course of six hours. This is before my team even played. Six hours. It was like 11. Yeah, I know, but from nine, yeah, I guess, yeah, adding this game. But I'm like, oh, man, I'm pissed off at 12 different things here. Yeah.

A couple hours. I got to get back in this. It's so much fun. I know eventually it'll be fun again. Well, you're right. There's stuff that you got to get in the habit of. Like, there's four or five moments where you go, why'd you do that? Yeah.

You start talking to a TV. Like that, like Giovante Williams today holding the taunting. You're just watching it like, why? Why are you doing that? Or the best one today was the Jared Gough backward pass that they called back because it wasn't a backward pass because his motion, even though his motion ended up throwing the ball backwards, intended to throw it. And look, I know people are going to be like, oh, tuck rule, same thing.

But the tuck rule is a thing that they've called over and over again, whether you like that or not for years and years before they finally tweak the rule. I've never seen that play ever. And actually, last year with the Broncos, Stidham, had a similar play where he threw the ball backwards when he was trying to throw it this way and somebody hit his arm. And they just said that was a backward pass. And you know why they said that?

Because it was a backward pass. Yeah. That's just like today, Jared Gough threw the ball backwards. There wasn't, I don't care what he mentally his intent was. Right. It was like, we talked to Jared and Jared decided that he was throwing the ball forward. So incomplete pass.

Yeah. We gave him a lie detector test for some truth serum. And Jared looked us in the eye and told us. And, but anyway, that Just over the course of the day, you have those. Right. If the refs had said, because I hadn't seen that before either. But if the rest has said, all right, look, we're changing the rule and there's nothing you can do about it.

We're changing it right now. I'd be like, oh, okay. All right, that's fine. Don't tell us this is how it is. Pereira comes on. He's like, that was the correct call. It's like, I've never seen that call in my life. We watch football every week.

So you have those. You have the roller coaster of fantasy. Like, if you had Loveland today and the Bears, they have 59 points. and he has zero fantasy points. This is a guy who is the third tight end taken everywhere, and you're betting on this offense and him being unleashed, and he just has a goose egg.

There's no reason for it. Or you go the other way, you have Devon Veil and the Saints, who I have in two of the leagues, who all of a sudden if you started him, so we have the roller coaster with that. I'm going to write this down next. Next week, I'm going to write this down. All things I got angry at

from 10 a.m. I'll just do the two, afternoon windows there. And I want to put it in tears. Like my wife cheated on me angry. You know, the DoorDash screwed up my lunch, angry, or whatever.

I just stubbed my toe angry. You know, I'm going to put them in tears. But I bet it's like 30 things because we text each other all day. And it's just like it becomes enormous. What tier would have been, I wish I had more money against DeShon Watson.

There's only like one or two weeks left for this. Because that, I mean, that was, I had that, We brought back teasers on Fandau, which was, I think, successful. Thank God. If the Broncos hit tomorrow, I think we did really well with our teasers. But I had the Jaguars and the tease, and you're watching that game.

And Deshaun just immediately throws a pick. The body language is terrible. I know people look at his stats into the game, be like, ah, it wasn't that bad. It was like, it was terrible. They were down 24-0 in five minutes, and you're watching it going, why the hell did I, Jacksonville's home? It's humid and hot. The Browns quarterback, the coach after the game,

Monkin had some crazy quote like, yeah, it wasn't that fun. But, you know, for me, I've never been a head coach before. So that was great. It was like, nothing was great. You could have no superlatives about what we just watched. I thought to myself, Deschanto was at interception. It's like 10.20 our time, 10, 25, 120 Eastern.

I was like, that's it. Like the early slate of games doesn't officially begin. And the season doesn't really start until he throws an interception. He's like a groundhog. He's like our grabby little creepy groundhog comes out and throws an interception. That should be his nickname. The groundhog. The intentional groundhog.

And we have 22 more weeks of football. I was going to make an inappropriate joke, but I'm not going to. Go for it. Well, the Jets won today, too. So you have New York. You have two football teams from the New York area. Yeah. Because they both play in New Jersey.

Well, let it be this weekend. That's fine. One in the war. I know. Yeah, that was nice that it was this weekend. So the Giants were,

I think the big, oh, this might be real in the NFC. And then I think the Bengals could make the case for the AFC.

Like we got some hype. Some people are behind us because it was same thing for the Giants. There was some worst to first. Like they were probably the obvious pick

from the 8th divisions. If you're going all in on a worst to first team, that was probably the team. You and I stayed away. the Bengals, so they beat Tampa. And if you just looked at the stats, you would say the Bengals defense, four turnovers.

I don't know, man. Like, I thought all of those turnovers were just awful by the bucks. They were all like really stupid plays by Mayfield, by Bucky Irving. There was one like, you know, a swipe from behind, but Baker was also, you know, running the ball with the, with the dangling the ball out. Yeah. I thought they got some fortunate breaks.

And I just thought the bucks were super sloppy. My jury is still out on the Bengals defense because I thought the bucks were going up and down on them. Oh, it's got to be. Yeah. I mean, Baker plays Savannah Banana football, basically. It's like, all right. Oh, this is funny. Oh, that's funny.

And effective. That's fun. But yeah, someone said Burrow throws a pick six. Chase has what, like 12 total yards. He got shut down. And the bucks never punted. and yet Cincinnati won really almost by double digits

but Tampa scores at the end they really out bengled the Bengals I think Tampa Baylor he actually if you look at his stats had a good game but he did like four egregiously dumb things and that's what ended up getting them but I actually think this might be the overaction game

and we'll talk about other possible candidates yeah both ways because I think Tampa is a little better I'm not just saying this because I like Tampa heading into the season and like Sincere less. I just felt like that was an either or game and Tampa just, they had to be in the locker room after going, what the fuck? How did we not

what are we doing? Do we turn the ball over four times and yet almost and we barely lose, you know? They still really can't protect them though. Like both teams. It's weird. They have a good line. I don't know. That's the weird thing is they have one of the better O lines. Yeah. It's like the battle the teams who can't protect their quarterback.

Bengals are like, all right. Big bucks are like, all right, we'll show you. We got Baker the bonebreaker. Right. You know, they just, that's just what you get from them every week, I think. The Bengals, I will say, like, obviously their defense, they have more pressure than I ever remember them getting. And they had a little energy and a little, hey, we feel different.

But I don't know. I thought either team could have won that one. I had a weird day to day because I mentioned this last week, but my daughter had a soccer game at 11 o'clock PT. And so I was debating all these things. I was going to put it. I had the TVs. I was going to put her on the bottom so I could have the, you know, get all the games.

And then by the time her game started, I was so excited to watch her. I ended up putting her on the big screen. I had a four box and Bill's Texans on the other TVs. And I wish my wife had gotten video. I was standing in front of the TVs so I could see everything. Like really looks like a madman. Like, and then they were playing the number two team in Division III and they took a one-nothing lead. and it felt like a

and she drew the penalty kick and I was like here we go man this is going to be like the greatest day and then they gave up three goals and I know

I bet them the draw when they were down three one sucks I forgot to tell you to live bet them the other way but you know it's weird because it was hard

my focus was all over the place it was tough but normally it'd be okay because the early slate stinks but we had six 20 plus point teams at half let me ask

is 1 p.m. Eastern football back? I thought, so NBC did something really interesting with Tomlin. And I thought Tomlin at halftime was excellent. I don't know if you saw it. Yeah, it was just him and Maria Taylor and they set him up and it was like, you're going to rip through these, your four favorite talking points over the next five minutes. It was the first good NBC halftime show NBA or NFL, I think, ever. I was really like, this is, this is really interesting. But his main point was that, because she was asking him why there were so many points why the offense was so good. And he was like, I was watching this happen over the course of the last few years because we're not allowed

to hit in August. You know, we don't, we have like very soft practices and the defenses need time to get in a rhythm of just banging bodies, shedding blocks, just hitting people. And he's like, I'm not surprised that this is the result at all. And I was like, that's, I wish he had told us that before the games when we could have bet some of the overs. But, uh, but you could feel It was like so many defensive breakdowns. Like that Bucks, I mean, I'm sorry, the Ravens Colts game, just fuckups all over the place. Guys wide open.

Yeah. And that's what those one o'clock games were. Bill's Texans, Texans have the best defense in the league. Their defense sucked today. I think that was the most disappointing unit that I saw today and this week. The Rams offense, say what you will about that game. But the Texans defense and maybe the Chargers offense was awful. The bills had more sacks, and they had eight yards per play.

So I know it's the bills, and Josh Allen could do his thing, but I don't want to have money, and we do have money on the Texans if they're going to give up even more than 20 points a game. Well, according to the Tom and thing, maybe we need a couple weeks with them. That's true. The bills did feel different. Like DJ Moore, he had 100 yards. It said Allen had 11 passes that he completed that were 10 or more yards in the air. which is unusual for him.

I think that was a record. Houston headball for 36 plus minutes. They had 26 first downs and they lost. So you can't really say, oh, Bill's defense. This game, like, I don't know if the people watching this saw the game, but Alan threw a pick that was going to end the game

and Lasseter dropped it. Yeah, that's true. And he's one of the best defensive backs in the league. And it was basically him backpedaling. He should have had it. He drops it. The next play of the best. Bill's get a long touchdown.

But that's why, like, we'll be like, oh, Josh Allen and the bills, here they come. And it's like they should have lost them that play. It's always one thing. It's always one thing with the bills. Either works for them or doesn't. And I know it's like you have to watch a football for a year. I shouldn't be surprised. Well, for years, shouldn't be surprised.

But yeah, 334 passing yards, four total touchdowns. He was just like, get out of my way. If our defense blows it at the end, so be it. But I like the idea that a lot of people I know didn't start Allen and fantasy. Our friend Brad in our league, Brad bid $30 for him. He doesn't spend $30 on anything except for like orange crush and tobacco, chewing tobacco. But that's, yeah, so yeah, they're going to be good. They're going to be all right.

And they play the Lions next week. I got an email from Ryan and Buffalo who said, Josh Allen now is nine career games with at least two passing and two rushing touchdowns in the same game, five more than any other player in the history of the NFL. Should that stop be called the Josh Allen? Oh, interesting. Or should we call it the Josh? And who could even threaten to break it?

He wonders if Drake May would have the best chance. Oh, yeah, that's why he wrote that. He's trying to antagonize you. Yeah, yeah. He also has the 20th most rushing touchdowns of any player ever as a quarterback, Ryan says. I like the idea of calling it the Josh Allen if you have the two touchdowns from running, passing in the same game.

Yeah, that's good. He has more than anybody? Five more than anybody is that I was it? Five more than anybody. It's nine total. Yeah, he has more rushing touchdowns than Earl Campbell. I saw the list. I already forgot it, but I know, like, there's some gigantic names of it.

But that was the classic Allen game, right? He was incredible. He was awesome. He had multiple superhero plays. And the guy in the other team dropped the game-winning pick. And then you have C.J. Stroud come back down. And C.J. was, for the most part, his stat, he was 274, two touchdowns, didn't have a pick. And then they're in the 20.

They have, like, about, what, 30 seconds left. They got to score a touchdown. one thing you can't do is take a sack. He takes just an awful sack and then gets a strip sack where he fumbles and they lose. Right. And that's it.

So if you're a Texan's fan, you feel better about C.J. Straub than you did in January, but you still aren't high-fying. Yeah, but it's that defense that I'd be a little worried about because that has to be great. It has to be as great as it's been

for them to go as far as they do, even with Stroud playing well. So I don't know. And Joe Brady went shirtless after. So, you know, he's hard. That's a hard push for coach of the year. I saw it was a hard push for coaching locker room moment of the year. Yeah, so you had the bills in that game in Ringer Wise guys on Friday.

You were the only, everyone was zagging toward Texans. I would say the Texans and the Cowboys were two of the most popular picks this week, right? Yeah. And both of them fell. Chargers were in a bunch of survivor pools, and that didn't happen either. There's a lot to cover from today. We're going to take a break. We're going to come back,

and we have to talk about the weirdest game of the week, and probably the season, Packers, Vikings. That's coming. Another killer. This episode is brought to you by Mickelope Ultra. It's the small moments where we have the most fun sometimes, like having a friendly little competition with your friends, to see who's the fastest,

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I have a chance to somehow win this week in our league, even though A.J. Brown is now out for six weeks. I really hurt my feeling, but I need... So we're talking 23.6 points for Risholm. She-Rice and Kenneth Walker, that would be what beats me. You just got to keep them under that. Yeah. Yeah.

The good news is I won't pay close attention to every freaking snap and this one's submarine my night tomorrow. He's always not playing a Monday nighter? No, God. Thank God. No more games for her. Packers Vikings. Green Bay goes up 22 to 10 with 20 minutes left in the game. Kyler Murray has been knocked out.

He threw a pick and then he got concussed. He's gone. Carson Wentz is in. I thought McCarthy was coming in. It was just weird to see Carson Wentz. I forgot that McCarthy wasn't even the number two quarterback. He comes in. He looks like Carson Wentz.

There's a couple of moments where it looks like he's actually maybe physically breaking down. 2210 feels pretty good. What happens? Green Bay doesn't score another point. The Vikings scored 29. Yeah. So Green Bay loses.

They outscored them 419 to 2. 2019. They had Minnesota 132 passing yards. This was the sixth straight loss for Matt LaFleur, including blown leads of 21, 23, 21, 3, and 22, and 10 to include the playoffs last year. That's right. This was five to end it. Yeah. This, we try not to overreact to week one. This was an abominable, abominable loss. And if I'm a Packer fan, I'm losing my mind. This is not like the Patriot Seahawks game. This is like how the fuck did we lose this game? No doubt about it. And I was going to be so mad. This is my best bet of the day. Packers

minus plus the one and a half. So there was some tic tacks in there. The bills were tick tack. This one was a tick tack. And I was going to be really mad if they lost by three. They made the two point conversion in Minnesota. You got to be kidding me with this. And by the way, I deserve it because I interviewed Justin Jefferson, the lovely man, and then picked the Packers to blow them out. Right. But what the happen. Like, I don't, I don't understand how a defense could be working so well and then just salivating with Carson Wentz. I think the big play was, I think they would have gotten out of the

drive, but that body-to-body thing where you put too much weight on somebody when you sack like a guy like Carson Wentz and they got called for the penalty. Do you see that? Whoa. And that kept the drive down. Yeah. You feel it? Three penalties kept that drive going, including that one. Yeah, listen, This is, so my buddy, my buddy Chip, college roommate, diehard, lifelong Packer fan. He said, can you please read this during the podcast? I'm going to do that because I've known him since 1988. Two third down stops and an interception all overturned by insane penalties. In a few years, we'll find out this game was part of a gambling scandal.

Wow. That's the first one of those. I love it. From my own college roommate chip. Yeah. So I don't think Packers Nation is happy about the results, but they could, look, Listen, Minnesota blitzed love. The final number was 78.4%.

That's how many times they blitzed him today. The Packers' offensive line was a sieve, right? Right. Their defense, without Parsons, they just have no pressure at all. They couldn't get any stops, and they ultimately couldn't stop Carson Wentz, who, by the way, hit Jefferson on that long one. Like, that was, I don't know if Murray would have hit him on that. I guess my question is,

were the Vikings maybe one injury away from being a decent team? Because you and I both, we are not Murray fans, you pull him out of that game. I feel like they lose that game if he's the quarterback. I kind of did too. And he threw a bad interception, right? Bad. Before he went out.

And then he had a couple decent ones, but he got crushed. Like, I hate saying that, honestly. Yeah, it was terrible. It's like, all right, I'm watching the wrong sport here. I'm going to put the tennis on for a little bit. But, so, yeah, but no, you're right. So 78% blitzing, and I think they got home 58% of the time.

I think the pressure was 58%. And it just seemed to pick up in the second half. Like, I don't see any adjustments from LaFleur at all. I guess if you're winning, you don't have to make too many adjustments. But just in the first half, in the first half, they were blitzing on everything. Then the second half, they started mixing it up. Love ended up with 387 passing yards. He was hit 15 times and but 78% of the time.

And I don't know if you saw this, but Kenny Ackinson announced that analytically he thought Jordan Love won the game. Oh, did he right? He did? He still doing that? He didn't learn his lesson. He looked at the stats. He thought Jordan Love won. So we had him, Nerd King Jordan Love, the new Nerd King, going head to head against former

nerd king Justin Herbert. And it was perfect because Herbert was just atrocious in the Cardinals game. Whereas with the part of the Nerd King package is the nerds have to make excuses for you after you lose the game. So in this case, it's like actually Jordan Love was amazing. With the way the Vikings were blitzing him, that was one of the best games of his career. They lost by 17. But that would be the nerd argument this week because he's our new Nerd King, Jordan Love. He's the one?

Yeah, Justin Herbert, who's now been dumped, who's left Nerd Village and he's left the country like Megan and Harry. And now he has nobody to defend him when he plays. plays like complete dog shit against Arizona Cardinals. Not only that, Madison Beer left. She's on the market for all you single fellas out there. She's seen enough. She's like, I can't be with that. Yeah.

She was like, I thought I was going to be in the suite, being shown in the suite the whole game. I had like four touchdown dances with my beer. Thanks a lot. Yeah, that was my big loss. Not even my best bet, but I would add a nice day had they come through on a money line pilot. Yeah. Plus they killed like 30% of eliminator pools and like,

60% of my voice were screaming obscenities at Mike McDaniel, most of the afternoon. It was disgusting. Also, it was a karaoke, LaFleur game. They gave up a 69-yard kickoff return, right? Packer's special teams, lock it down. Terrible blown coverages, like T.J. Hawkinson was just wide open at one point.

They had the penalties. They had the bad offensive line. They had the play where he took the field go off the board to set up the sneak that didn't work, which leads me. into my next question. How did he not make that sneak? I'm sorry. I just like, like, oh, he made it. They're going to review that. Oh, God damn it. He didn't make it. He wasn't even close. Stupid. First coach fired. Oh, here we go. I could give you the floor.

I could give you Todd Bowles. Can I give you Jim Harbaugh? Could I interest you in that one? Wow. That's a good one. That was the one of the worst coaching. I think that might have been the worst coach team I watched today. It's the Chargers. No life. Stupid shit. Doing the same dumb stuff over and over again. Really, really egregious coaching stuff. Like, they're down, what were they down? Nine or 12. There's four minutes left. They have a third and 30. And they have like two timeouts left. They call time out because they don't want to have a delay a game on third and 30. What are you guys doing? When you're on 10 yard line. What are you calling time out for? And then later, it's like, well, they only have one timeout left

because they had to use that to save the delay a game. To save the delay a game so that on 3rd and 30, they could throw an 8-yard pass and punt. Right. That's just bad shit. I don't know. Yeah, it was bad. He, I would say he's top three or four at this point.

I mean, the team's supposed to win like double-digit games, right? I mean, we'll go over our big regrettable futures in a minute. But, yeah, that was, talk about like missed assignments. Like, we would like to believe, oh, all right, when Joe Walt comes back, wait until you see. Nobody's going to get within 15 yards of Justin Herbert. He's going to be able to do whatever he wants. Sean Slater, whoever else is in there.

Not the case. Just overthrow is bad. I know McConkey went out, but that game was lost before then. McConkey went out because Herbert threw him a hospital ball. I don't know if he saw it. Yeah. He led him right over the middle and he got absolutely killed. Then I remember DJ Mikey Mack is the offensive coordinator who has the hospital ball in his offensive play sheet.

Should we give someone credit? I know we don't give anyone credit, but Arizona was. They were decent. I looked at like, yeah. I want to talk about Arizona. Hold on one more thing on the Chargers just quick. Because I do wonder if this is the week one overreaction game. But you love the Chargers heading into the season.

Oh, yeah. I was with you for most of August and when they lost their center and the left guard center, right guard combo were all like F minuses. I got scared off. Did you see the play when they blitzed? They sent three guys hit Herbert. Right. The two tackles both blocked their guys and the other three guys were blocking one guy.

Three guys are blocking one guy. Three guys are blocking one guy. Three other guys are hitting Herbert and the other two guys are creating the pocket. And I was like, I hope that's not a metaphor for the Chargers season because it kind of felt like it was. And defensively, they couldn't get stops. They couldn't cover anybody. They didn't get any pressure on Berset. I thought the Cardinals kind of dominated them.

They really couldn't get stops. The Cardinals, if you look at their drive charts, they had like six. good drives where they kept the ball away from the charge the chargers had like three possessions in the first half or something like that and then like really like one the two in the third quarter it wasn't a lot I get on Mike McDaniel like they were terrible by the goal line

and everything else but um yeah I'll give the Cardinals like I can't believe it Brissette like made some big third down plays and they moved the ball and love scoring early on was big even though he didn't do a tonne after that I wonder with Berset he's at least the new flacco right because when he was on the Patriots,

he was unplayable two years ago. He was really awful. And now I watch him and he's got McBride. He's got Wilson and Harrison. Who was that other guy who had seven catches today? That third receiver, blanking on his name. But that guy was catching balls.

And Brissette was like, methodically moving down the field, making all the right reads. He only had one Berset play. He threw it up for grabs. Four guys had a chance to get a pick. None of them got it. But I'm with you.

I was watching that game, and this is why I think this was the week one overreaction game. Because I left that game thinking, like, the Chargers aren't bad. I mean, the Cardinals aren't bad. I know. I hate it. And there was a case for them.

Who was on it on Wise guys? The Bundow or Rahim? It's about last year how they were like, there were eight one-square games, and they were always in the mix. Oh, yeah. The Cardinals. Like, they had a lot of injuries.

Yeah. But I don't know. I have a buddy that works in the organization. He's like, he said before today, he's like, they're really rallying behind Bresset. They're playing with a chip on their shoulder. They like LaFleur. By the way, this is LaFleur won.

The other one didn't. But there's like some bulletin board material. Like tickets today were $18 at SoFi. Did you see that? Like the cheapest tickets. So, you know, I think they were like pumped. They're playing in front of Chargers fans and SoFi, which is unheard of.

So they really went out there and kicked their ass. I thought it was interesting. Lefleur's parents were there. But their other son was playing too, but I guess it's because the one son is the... It's the first game. First game. It did make me think if you had two sons

that were NFL coaches and let's say you're retired and you could just go to the games. Like you really have to manage some egos of that one, right? Well, I think you just do like with Zoe. Like, what if you had two daughters playing soccer? Like, who gets the bigger screen?

You stay at home. You got to just stay home. I got to watch both of you at the same time. So Brian from Everett wrote in Since the start of Thursday night football, no NFL team has played all their games on a Sunday until the 2006 Arizona Cardinals. I don't think we talk enough about the futility of this franchise.

The NFL didn't want to put them on Thursday night against the Raiders in Madagascar. Instead, they punish us in the late afternoon window every Sunday. And yet, this franchise went on the road and beat DJ Mikey Mack and Justin. and greatest best ever quarterback to open this season. He's right. And we were talking about, first of all, we did the futures.

Should we just do that now? Yeah, because we're going to go through all these idiots anyway. One of your favorite futures was the Cardinals would start at 0-0 and 5. There was a case for them to start at 0 and 11. If you looked at their schedule, it was like they didn't have an easy win forever. And yet they took it off the board. Let's do it. What's your most regrettable?

So we did the future draft last week. And we did, what, 60 futures combined, something like that? Yeah, yeah. Let me pull up. All right, I'll just start. You have to go with the injured guys first, right? So, Dijon's stribling to win offensive rookie of the year. That's around.

Plus 850. That's no good. You know what? I'm going to treat this like a yard sale. Like, everything must go. Like, I'll sell this plus 850. I'll give it to you for 100 to 1. Like, that's it.

So I quickly looked at the list you sent and you're like, all right, here's your list. I was like, I have 30 of them. You have 30. Should I just read this? I was like, shit. I'll just read a little. all of them. But that's my first one. So go ahead. Oh, then mine would be Brock Bowers,

1,000 plus yards at plus 135. That is in the front of my store with a 50% offside right now. They shaved his meniscus, but he might be ready for week two. What? They shaved his meniscus? What do they use? Is this a straight razor? What the fuck is that? He's fine? No, no, they shaved it. It's fine. I wonder, though, if he is back for 15 weeks or 14 weeks, he could still get the thousand.

Listen, go to the front of the counter. You can bring it up. What's your next one? Okay. I mean, AJ Brown, 10 plus touchdown. Same sort of thing. He's out a month, six weeks. I don't know.

Was it high ankle sprain? Who knows what these things? Yeah, you have no chance at that. Gross. And I have no chance at Miles Garrett, defensive player of the year for plus 400. I'm going to cross that one off. Tom Palisero, breaking the story today.

Great. That was pretty fun. Yeah, that was fun. Shout out to him. But yeah, Miles Garrett, who, when you watch that game on Thursday, and you're like, wow, is Mao's Garrett in the game? And they're like, no, no, he's number 95. He's out there just doing nothing.

And now it turns out he was hurt. Right. What's your next one? All right. Well, Indianapolis, Cleveland, Giants, Jets, and Arizona. No playoffs was plus 156. I got to be a little nervous. Three of those teams won.

Giants, Jets, in Arizona. So I'm going to, I would sweat that out. That's, yes, I'll put that in the front of the store, too. I won't even, you know, I won't sell it. If you want to steal it, just take it. I'm putting Dallas over 10 and a half wins plus 500 in the front of the store. It's amazing. They'd have to go 11 to 5 to beat that.

I watch multiple guys in your defense leave during this game. Nobody seemed like they were in shape. Over Sean got hurt again. And that guy just can't seem like he can play five games in a row. And I kind of regret having that one. What's your next one? I mean, that's not right. I have some Patriots futures.

are going to use those. I didn't know we were playing like that. Bring them. Bring them. I have, on the show, I said Herbert MVP. Oh, I'll do Herbert 4,500 plus yards, 12 to 1. Yeah. Let's put them together as a package deal.

We'll couple that. That's nice. We'll sign those, too. We'll sign those. It's a combo. Two for one, two for one special. Stafford most passing yards. I mean, we haven't talked about, it's not even an indictment against Stafford over them, and they were really bad.

the other night. But I think Caleb Williams is just gonna go nuts with this one. You know, so I don't like five tomorrow. One of us had Caleb, I think, I had him for 4,000 yards. 4,000 yards? Yeah, that was you.

That's a win. He'll get that by week three. We talked about the Rams, the super team stuff, how high the numbers were, how bad of a sign that was for them based on the history. I don't know, man.

I could see them missing the playoffs. I don't even think that's like a crazy week one overreaction because we were all signing up for this team that had Miles Garrett just running a mock on defense and then Aaron Donald coming in and now it's like well Aaron Donald's going to play a 25 to 30 plays and Miles Garrett has a bad knee. Right. And now they have, this is my fear in general with them

is when you have these top heavy teams. Now you're one more injury away from being the Chiefs last year. Yeah. Now it's like Puka has a hamstring puller. something. Now I'm looking at 6 and 11 and not 12 and 5. It's interesting because that game, first of all, everyone was right about it. Like, yeah, they should have flown in earlier. And it's like that did seem like what it was.

The 49ers were much fresher. Garrett was out of breath. Like the Rams were way out of sync. It had to be part of either that or the Niners are way better than the ramp. So I don't know. But I don't want to mix games here because we're still doing regrettable futures. But is there a 10 plus win team that you had that you're throwing out? the first game that lost that you're okay with?

Like that, like that's actually not too many lost, right? It's just the chargers and Rams. I feel pretty good about the Pats. And you're going to be honest. I'm not like, I think the Pats are going to be okay. And they,

you know, they're playing in Seattle. Seattle's really good. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not panicking about it. All right. I wasn't going to panic for the Rams,

but it's not, it's not great at all. They do have to fix that defense. I think the 11 and the 11.5 over under is an official panic. They're good. I wouldn't want, I wouldn't want, I wouldn't want to have to bet on the Rams

happening with 12 and 5. My last regrettable one is I had Washington, Atlanta, under 8.5 wins for plus 1-12. And I mentioned how the 7.5 was like plus 400 or something. And I had them to put it. And I did the easier one.

It's like, there's no chance either of those teams is winning nine games. Right. Like zero. I'll couple that with, he wasn't awful today, but Jaden Daniels' comeback player of the year plus 750.

It just doesn't, he just looks like, a quarterback who's coming back from an injury. So who's going to win that then? Well, we have to see Mahomes. We have to see. Who else was on that? Was Mahomes?

I can't tell. No, Borough was not. Damar Hamlin's back on it. He spends it every year. It's really just anybody, except for anybody who had. Wait, we have to rip through a couple more games really fast. Yeah, go ahead. Ravens Colts.

Lamar looked back in a real way. Daniel Jones did not. Daniel Jones and give house credit I gotta give house credit every once in a while he was on this the hardest of anyone like this guy he's gonna be moving around the same way as last year what do you think Daniel Jones's rushing stats were in today's game

oh I don't think I saw one I don't know one rush for four yards wow this was a guy who his legs last year was such a big part of those first eight games and their defense I didn't see pass rush I didn't see a team that could cover either. And Jones just looks like a guy recovering from a really major injury.

Baltimore, 506 yards, Indianapolis, 251. The problem is Flowers got hurt and Bateman got hurt during the, and not Bateman. Lane, right? De Lane, the rookie. Yeah. He had hurt wrist. We don't know what happened.

But Flowers actually looks like he's going to be out for a couple weeks. I think so. I also had Jacob Lane for offensive rookie of the year. So that's a good one. Yeah, Ravens minus 9.5. was my best bet, but the best bet I made. That was a great bet. Yeah, I love that one.

They just, yeah, their offense looked amazing. And Zay looked so fast and like we were talking on the chain like, oh, my God, he's worth every penny. But Derek Henry, 24 for 144, three touchdowns. Like, when is this guy done, honestly? Like 2033-ish? We were all texting about it. The bigger question for me now is when does the goat start coming in a play with him?

Yeah. Like, when does he become eligible for that conversation? And when have we ever had a guy who we never thought ever had a chance to be the best running back of all time? But now we're sitting here after all these years and like, wow, if he does this for like three more years, we've never seen this ever. Like we've seen running back for five, six years. Yeah. But not just stay steady like this forever, basically, it feels like. I don't even know how old he is anymore.

He's 32, and I think you nailed it. So three more years, he'd be at 35. doing this, and it doesn't seem like it's that old compared to other athletes we're about to talk about. It's a position where you're done in seven years. I think Riggins had over 1,000 yards. It might have been one more at 35 years old. So if he keeps this going, I think he's like the greatest older player

or athlete of all time. Like you could say Brady, but Brady doesn't take hits. Like Henry gets tackled on every time he gets the ball, almost every time he gets the ball. So I think you almost have to go to the pugilistic sports, like Foreman and Bernard Hopkins. Oh, like Bernard Hopkins. is a good one. Yeah, because they're taking abuse,

you know? Yeah. So, I don't know. That's a great one. Yeah. Yeah, what's crazy about it is he still is physically dominant and overpowering the same way he was at his peak. Nothing has changed about how he played. It's not like when Jordan got older and he's out, now he has a fade away.

Now he's figured out like the mental game and he's not going to try to dunk on you all the time. Derek Henry's the exact, you could watch Derek Henry highlights this year and they're the same highlights as Derek Henry in 2019. It's the same guy. I don't know how he does it.

He must be like one of those Versa Clymer, LeBron, like it wakes up at 5 in the morning workout guys because there's no other explanation. But like Emmett Smith, your guy, he comes in 1989 draft by what year was he like, oh man, Emmett, it's kind of starting to look like a shadow of himself.

It was like 1998? Yeah, I mean. 97? They say when 95, they win. So it might even been 96. Yeah, it might have been right in there. This is a seven or eight year position for great guys. I mean, McCaffrey is defying a little bit too,

but he's also missed giant chunks of seasons. Henry is not. So we both like the Ravens. I like that more than you heading into the season. I had them as a possible one seed. I liked everything I saw it today. And what was interesting about today was everyone was on indie. And that line moved from three and a half to three.

It was the sexy pick. DeBundo, you know, he's young. He's a precocious game. for us, but he made a big deal. This was the first ticket I got this summer was Colts plus three and a half. Shane Steichen, so tough fun for him. He's a Colts fan. He has a shiny blue jacket and everything, but that's it.

I'm not going to get them any wins. Your take was probably more closer to the right take, which is you thought they had a chance to be the worst team in the AFC. I said that. I'm smart. Yeah, I didn't realize. But, you know, like, the bigger takeaway is, like, Daniel Jones is not right. It wasn't a matter of this game, really.

I don't think. No. We can't take it for granted. These guys are just going to come right back. You know, Jaden Daniels was fine. Whatever. So tomorrow is interesting, right? That's a little bit of a rehab bowl between both of them.

Right. And Mahom. I agree. Yeah, cousins, who I thought looked pretty good today for him, makes you wonder why Atlanta just didn't keep him when they were paying him anyway. And then the bears were the other offense, 59 points. Ben Johnson. Ben Johnson wasn't kidding when he was saying he thought they could have the best offense.

six rush TDs. They might be the best NFC North team, even though they can't stop anybody. Carolina, the Bears defense gave up 478 yards, 24 first downs, and Bryce through for 361. It's not like the Bears defense did anything, but the offense was so good.

Yeah, it was it, by the way, that was a score of Gami, 59, 37, and they're going to be the most exciting NFC North team for sure. They're going to be a slug fest every week. And you mentioned Ben Johnson saying wants to break the points record. Yeah.

We talked about this on Ring or Wise guys. I almost think like he gives the defense a bonus for giving up short touchdowns. Like touchdowns that don't take a long time so that he could break this record. He's like, yeah, let's just defense. Just get off the field. Oh, like he sells out? Yeah, he's like running crazy blitzes, doesn't really care. Could they do it?

They have, so 606 is a record. And they had fit. So they now need 547 and 16 games. They need 34 a game. I mean, that's doable. Especially if the defense is. who do you think is the favorite in the NFC North on Fandall right now

Fando where we have saved the six pointies I think it's the Bears the only reason I looked at MVP and he's like fourth so is it the Bears it is still the Lions at plus 155 the Bears are plus 2 30 not a lot of action in Arizona at 40 to 1 for the NFC West

and then the NFC South which went 0 and 4 today Tampa is still the favorite at plus 165. You know, I predicted that the winner would go 7 and 10, and I think I was just a little bit generous there. I redid the math. Could be 6 and 11. Could be 4 and 13.

The winner of the NFC South could be actually 4 and 13. Everything would have to fall right. So we have the Bears with a super fun offense. We have the Giants with a competent team again. Like stuff's starting to shift in the NFC. Lion's Saints. Shuck was reprehensible for an hour and a half, two hours, and then did the thing he does where all of a sudden he's just roaring back and making plays.

And he almost has to taste his own blood and be down 15 to start playing well. Luckily as lines win. First of all, the Saints, I think they won the coin toss in OT, but they decided to go second, which most teams do. But the Lions just were like, thanks. I went right down and scored. and then the Saints I hate that move by the way.

Yeah. Would you want to go first or second? Yeah, your defense is tired. You don't want to put them on the field? Give them four, six minutes of rest there. That's how I felt. But it didn't work out for Detroit because the Saints came back down,

made a bunch of crazy plays. They score. And then they run the worst two-point conversion play probably the year. That would be my guess. Yeah. They had all their receivers on one side. It was so clearly going to be like a quick flare out to Olive.

They read it. And he didn't know what to do. It ends up throwing it. out of bats. Yeah, and you lose it in or something was going to be. You know, I had a half,

as the game went to overtime, I had like a half a page of notes written to give you about how Dan Campbell sucks, this biting kneecap bitch, let him be the first coach fired. And then, you know what? He gutted it out in overtime,

so he's really great again. I don't know what's with this team. 21-0 at home. Like, why did they struggle? This is a team if they don't have 35 points in the fourth quarter. I'm like, well, something's wrong.

Like, I can get 30. five, so. Right. But you're right. That defensive touchdown was everything. Saints should have won the game. Their secondary is going to be really bad until they start getting guys back and it's just something to file away. The other thing I didn't like for them, Gibbs, who now has 51 touchdowns of 50 games,

he's in this 50 for 50 club that I didn't know about until five hours ago. He had 29 carries for 156 today. You know, so it's six catches. So 35 touches total. I don't know. Too much? Putting 35 touches on. Gibbs against the Saints in week one

is not a good recipe in my opinion. So now he's on pace for 600 touches this year. And I just don't think that's sustaining. It might be scared if I had a little bit. Yeah. And then we have Eagles Washington. I just wrote down for this game.

Philadelphia sucks the life out of both fan bases for three solid hours every week. I don't have any other notes. It's pretty good. It's just everybody's bummed out. People who bet on the game, the other team's fans, Philly fans, who has a good time during an Eagles game? Nobody, not one person.

No, you're right. I mean, I did a little bit because I'm not afraid of their offense. Not that my team's going to contend, really, but it's not fixed in any way. They had 10 first downs, not scared of that. So, I don't know. Did you think they were protecting as well as they used to? I felt like Washington, who's not exactly the 85 Bears. I thought it was kind of beating them

on the line of scrimmage, I was surprised. No doubt about it. Yeah, I thought, you know, and then, like, just really, they screwed up. Like, David Blowell's drawing up a shuffle pass to a blocking tight end. There's the two-point conversion. That's not going to be good.

Well, we know who the guy who's going to go $29 and your fantasy draft auction week one is going to be. It's going to be Don Tavian Wicks. Oh, yeah, yeah. Because I don't think anybody has him. Right, right, right. Yeah. $29 for him.

I wouldn't do it. It's fine. I don't love that offense. McLaren had two catches. He sucked last year. We blamed down the contract told out. He never seemed to be open in this game.

None of their receivers ever soon to be open. And Washington's going to be bad. Raiders, dolphins. Let me just say one thing about Stefan Diggs because he might be one of the goalposts. A hump in the goal post, costing them a penalty, and a two-point conversion attempt.

And I'm sorry to go after your boy, Brady, but he and Burkhart don't mention it at all until the fact that they don't mention the fact that it prohibited them from going for a two-point conversion until they're bumping into commercial. And then they couldn't, they're like, oh, by the way, they couldn't go for two there because of the penalty.

We'll be right back and getting drowned out by widespread panic, whatever music they have going into the break there. But come on, guys. I'm going to hold about 10 Brady jokes. Raiders' Dauphins. Here's a good Brady joke. There is Raiders' one. Raiders' dolphins.

They're like, who do we get for this game? How about Chris Myers? he's back. Chris Fires. He hasn't retired and they're just, he's going to be doing Raiders Dolphins until he does. This was Malik Willis against Kurt Cousins. It was everything advertised.

It was only one of the four games we had. And the big takeaway for me, and this one is Ashton Genty, who I think I have in every fantasy league. Really? I think we got him for, I got him for 28 bucks in our league. He's going for like in the 50s before he got hurt.

He looked really good. It's good. Yeah, he looked. I think he's, they didn't look bad. They, now they're playing Miami who's really often.

Yeah, they should look bad. But I thought they looked a level higher than Miami. Miami didn't look awfully. Like, Willis, I bet Willis had thrown an interception. That was my only thing on this game. But they just didn't score points.

He wasn't, he wasn't, he wasn't that bad. I think that's a good bet every week as a Willis interception because none of their receivers can get open and he's not opposed to throwing the ball into traffic.

I wrote down the receivers in this game. Did you hear me? go through this whole routine? No. The receivers in this game, I think would the worst batch of receivers in a non-strike season. On both sides. The top three were Malique

Washington, Chris Bell, Caleb Douglas, Trey Tucker, J. Owen Naylor, and Jack Bash, Bash. How are we even saying? I know. I know he scored. I know he scored. Yeah. Do you get worse than that? No. No. No. No. No. I don't think

like, I'm trying to think of a good offensive matchup. I don't think they see the field. They're probably the sixth receiver. Yeah, right. On a good offensive team. Cleveland, Jacksonville, we mentioned Deshaun, more depressed than ever. And then Falcon Steelers, we got to talk about because this line moved three and a

points, moved to six and a half. Two, do we ever, do you think we ever see two again? Like, in all seriousness. Well, will we be healthy enough to get, they have to put them in? It's healthy. Do you think he plays another down in football ever? I think Cooper Rush is just like he lit it, I don't know. Yeah, I think it was.

I just thought that House has a conspiracy theory that, Oh. That maybe, no, that maybe it's like, yeah, say you're injured, but maybe he's not playable. Oh, I know they want panics in there. I know they're like, they're propping them up and everything. Yeah, this is bad. I mean, it combined for the 169th ranked,

Total EPA out of 1,097 games offensively. Wow, it felt worse. Stewards offense, I didn't think this would happen to week six, but about late in the second quarter, it became, let's try to get a PI that became the offense. Rogers was 5.5 yards per attempt, rushing attack, 21 for 58. I would not call it explosive.

I don't want to say too much because the Patriots play them next week, but hard to overstay. how punchless they looked and how unthreatening they were. And Rogers did not want to get hit, ever. All his decisions were based around and I don't want to be hit once in this game.

And Mike McCarthy must be like, God, this doesn't resemble any kind of offense I've ever been a part of. And that's my thing, it's offense. What the hell do I do? Are we going to play the Falcons every week? And you know, Michael Pittman, did you see him?

he caught a few catches for like 60 yards. Do you see his post-game interview? I don't know if he saw it. He said, he's like, you know, he came over from the cult, and he said he's looking forward to this marriage with Rogers, but he just needs to fuck other teams first. He didn't say that. I'm sorry.

Did he say that? Someone's like, I'll find that interview. D.K. Beck-K. Beck-Fed said he feels like he's lost the intimacy he had with Rogers last year. Yeah. Who's that? Jets Titans Salas revenge ended up being a one out of 100

revenge scale Tennessee had 195 yards of offense the Jets had an easy win they somehow had a knock at a turnover no interception 18 in a row yeah and that's about it I really wanted to make the Jets

my fifth Ringer 107 pick on Sunday and I just couldn't pull the trigger because I just kept thinking about betting them or picking them and then having to watch Gino in the humidity and just doing Gino. I just couldn't do it. I didn't want any part of that game. I think, you know, is it a wild card to say Sala

could be a first coach fire? Week 11? If he's like 0 and 9 and there's a buy in there somewhere, and they're like, you know what, we screwed up. This is not going to get better. You weren't good with the jet. It's just not going to work here. So Jeremy in Hudson, New York wrote in, he's a longtime Jets fan.

After watching Robert Sala shit the bed for years with the Jets, then somehow shit the bed against the Jets on Sunday, I found myself wondering, what is this guy actually good at? In light of the one thing he's demonstrated, sustained high-level production, I'd like to nominate a new nickname for him, successful Seaman Sala. Enjoy. Wait, his nine kids. Oh, that's right. I guess Jeremy's saying that's the one thing he's been successful at is reproducing. Okay. I don't know if successful Seaman Salas is going to catch on, but we'll have to watch

Peter Schrager's show tomorrow and see if he takes up. All right. He'll cover that. This episode is brought to by IG Private Wealth. Here's the thing. Real wealth is not just numbers on a page. It's living life on your terms. Running the business.

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Sign up now at DeZone.com. Limited time offer see website for details. All right. Before we get to guess the lines, we have to talk about, first of all, can I, can give me 20 seconds on the Mariners? No. I don't know. Just 20 seconds. Oh,

you take them, yeah. I want to take 20 seconds. Yeah, yeah, I don't have 20 seconds. Yeah. So Hanch and I, we haven't won our AEL Keeper League since the mid-2000s. And we had our best chance this year. And unfortunately, we have multiple mariners on the team, including George Kirby, who we traded for mid-season, Munoz, the closer,

Kate Anderson, who we've been waiting for them to call him up for three months. They finally did three weeks ago when it was far too late to help us. And Josh Naylor, who is supposed to have Homer, and steals and has had one homer since the All-Star break. And just in general, I feel like I've been sucked into the vortex of this Mariners season. One of the guys who are competing against has Brian Wu, who is the only confident picture they have right now for some reason. Oh, no.

We have Munoz as the closer. It was the best closer in the AAL. He has 10 blown saves and six losses this year. And today, when we're finally having a good day and it was a make or break day for us, Munoz comes in against the athletics in Sacramento. And this is after George Kirby, yet another atrocity on Friday night. Just the A's beat George Kirby two times in a row. The A's have like, everybody's heard in the A's.

They play in Sacramento. It's a bunch of dudes you've literally never heard of in your life. And they're just beating the Mariners over and over again. Munoz comes in with a one-run lead proceeds to walk somebody, which he does every single time he comes in. It's like, it's just, they should just put the first guy in first base. Then Lawrence Butler comes up, who's hitting like 200, and it's, I don't know, nine homers.

And it's just like, I know Munoz is either going to have a double or a home run here. So he goes 3-1 on Butler. Butler, walk off Roy Hobbs' homer of Munoz for his 10th blown save. So instead of, so we get the minus one,

we get our ERA. And it's just like, we're going to have to bench Munoz because he's that bunch of a disaster when we're trying to win. And so between that and all the other guys in this team, I just, I hate the Mariners. I really, I hate their guts. And I've been tweeting about them and the Seattle Mariner fans,

they love it because they're like, finally somebody other than us have noticed what a fucking dumpster fire this team is. The Mariners fans hate their manager, they hate the general manager, they hate all the guys in the team. It's like, this is the most unlikable baseball team this year.

And somehow I got sucked into them with a fantasy team. And I can't tell you how much anti-joy they brought me this year. And they can fuck them. and go to hell. And Seattle. Just the city of Seattle has to be at the top of your shit list, right? Well, that's, I like the, I feel bad for them because they took the Sonic.

No, they took the Sonics from Seattle. I like Seattle. Whatever the Seattle should do. I empathize with them. I just can't believe this team was favored to win like 93 games. Yeah, yeah. This is one of the World Series favorites. Wow.

You know, that might have been longer than 20 seconds. I wasn't timing it, but, yeah. Sorry, Zoe. I was watching Munoz blow a save. My bad. I had to put Seattle on the big screen. I didn't see that corner kick, Munoz put you guys out.

And then the only thing I had was the scheduling stuff this weekend where we have the U.S. Open. They have the men's final, which is an awesome final. It's Shelton against Verve. Everybody's running for Shelton on the planet. And they put it on during football.

And there's just no way this is the right solution. Could you put it at night? As like 8 o'clock ET, maybe you go head-to-head against the Sunday night football game. Dubundo is suggesting, or somebody on our thread was suggesting, maybe move everything a day back and the men's final is Saturday night and the women's is Friday? Do them both Saturday.

Do the men's and women's Saturday night. It's fine. It's good. So do the women at like two and then that goes right into the men? You've got two weeks to figure out the days off and everything. But just putting it, so we see an hour and a half of football finally back, and then someone's supposed to remember that there's a tennis match, the biggest tennis match of the year is on. I know you wanted to be like sports czar years ago. I think you're...

Yeah. I'm still available. I just want to do the scheduling. Just get me scheduling. I'll do, believe me, I won't put golf up against anything stupid basketball. I'll line it all up. And then you had a whole thing with the WMBA, right? Yeah.

So if we were the sports dars and WAA came to us and they were like, hey, thinking about folding the season for three weeks near the end of August, when there's no football or anything going on, when we actually have people's attention other than baseball. And we're going to have momentum heading toward the playoffs. What we're thinking of doing, we're going to shut everything down for three weeks. And we're going to send everybody to some World Cup tournament that nobody even knew was happening. I'll pay anybody $5 who knows who won the last 10 Women's World Cup FIBA tournaments.

I don't even know what was this? All of the best players go over there. And then they play France today. I actually watched the semifinal yesterday against Spain. I did. I enjoyed it because it was fun to see who the lineups are going to be.

They went with the vets. Like, I like these players. And so today it's going head to head against football. Wasn't ever watching that. Apparently we won. What time was that? That was the season for this.

Afternoon? Late afternoon? No, is it 11 o'clock PT? But my question is, wow. What's the point of stopping the season for a tournament that nobody knows this happening?

and it was on TNT or TBS, one of those. Maybe you got a decent rating, I don't know, but they had so much momentum with the season. And now they have to come back and be like, okay, the season's back because we're back from the World Cup, we won. It's like, cool, I didn't even know we had a World Cup for women's basketball.

Yeah, and so now they have to finish the season against football, gearing up right, college football, baseball playoffs. They really screw themselves on that end, too. Can you imagine if the, NBA, it's like late March. And they're like, yeah, got to shut the NBA season down for three weeks here because

we have the Feeba World Cup. Right. We're just going to stop it. We'll be back. Just hold it. Just remember where the standings are. Everybody would be like, what are you guys doing? You would have to go down.

You would have to go from 14 NBA podcast down to 11 a week when they shut down. I like the Olympics. The World Cup is fine if it's in the off season. But during the season, but yeah, I know. Now, put us in charge of scheduling. We'll do it for nothing. We'll pay you. Whoever.

Also, Steve Balmer, before we came on today, said he wasn't going to sue the league because he didn't have a case. Yeah. But he said, did we want to move on, move forward? We want to rebuild our relationship with our fans. You know how he can start, Maria Taylor this? No, they put out a thing from the Clippers account. Oh.

You know how they could rebuild relationship with the fans? Offer us refunds for season tickets and tickets. Give us a chance. to get out of the relationship and then that would rebuild the will. Because I promise you there would be some people that wouldn't keep season tickets

or tickets they bought this year. That's true. So maybe do that. That would be a good way to rebuild some will. Okay. Guess the lines. We tied last week.

Yeah, we did. Now, what ends up happening, I'm going to pull the curtain back a little bit. We tie, and then you decide that we didn't tie, and Jacoby's like, Sal, you should have won or whatever, and you're like, he didn't win.

He didn't even tie. I'm like, what? I know. I went back, I thought you cheated me out of a win, but I went back on this. Never. I would never.

I'm going to lose this week, though. Thursday night. This is unbelievable. Detroit has to play on Thursday night in Detroit. I mean, I'm sorry. Buffalo has to play on Thursday night after that pretty fiscal Houston game. They're playing the Lions who just played an overtime game. Yeah.

So good luck. Welcome to the NFL season, everybody. Four days after. And there's a new stadium, right? Yeah. Home opener. Yep. I put this in the Vegas zone.

I had bills minus four and a half. Okay, good. I had four, and it's three and a half. Yeah. Well, I don't agree with that at all. But I accept the result of the books. That's good. You're not going to pull Steve Baumgart.

No, I'm not going to contest. I'm going to accept the result and move on and try to build relationships with my fans. From what I saw, the lion secondary, this should be a really nice Josh Allen game, would be my guess. They're not as good. I guess they played at a level of competition.

Is that the best thing we could say about the Lions? But they're not as good as them. Does a new stadium opening help or hurt or have no effect? It didn't work for the Cowboys. I know they lost the last second field goal to the Giants. I don't think it works. I don't know. They do this in TV too when they have a new set.

They're like, look at our set. Hey, new set. I remember when I was doing Countdown, we had to do a whole thing about, we had a new set. Right, right, right. People don't care. And then people see it.

And it's like, yeah. People are like, oh, cool. So, yeah, there's light and you have a desk and there's TV behind you. Well, what's it going to do anyway? It's supposed to get the fans, you don't have a crazier group of followers than the bills anyway, right? They're cracking their skulls open in the parking lot. Right. You already got the best fans.

Sunday marquee game, pretty clear. It's Texans Bengals in Houston. Yeah. A semi must win for the Texans who did not want to go into. Bengals trying to capitalize on some momentum. I don't think they'll be getting four turnovers again. This game is in Houston. And I put it in the Tick-Tac zone of Houston minus one and a half.

You get it. I said one. It's two and a half. Okay. So maybe the books agree with our not getting too excited about the Bengals yet. Yeah, well, I mean, Coach Taylor, don't forget. I mean, he went 2-0 last year,

so I guess it's possible. We forgot that. That was probably his most convincing week one victory ever. Yeah, for sure. Coach Taylor, right? He didn't get it. It's like, what?

Why are you carrying me? Three watchables. We should mention there's a lot of, like, good team against a not as good of a team matchups, which lead to more fairly watchable and poop-fucking games.

But three watchables. First one is in Denver. Broncos, home for the Jaguars. Yeah. Tough one because we didn't see the Broncos yet. We don't know how Bo Nix is going to look. I have Broncos minus two. All right.

I got it exact. It's two and a half. Okay. That is tough. So tough to have learned anything from the Jags today, other than that Parker Washington picked up where he left off last year. Yeah, he was fun. You know, they got turned over twice, Cleveland.

One was an awful interception, but I don't know what else to say about him. The only thing I noticed from the Jags is I don't love their running backs, and I'm not sure they fixed the Etienne now, A-chan. H-N, yeah. Leaving. It was Tuton and Chris Rodriguez was out there and just all backup fantasy running backs. Right. Those are just their running backs, so I don't know.

Right. Those are your third and two guys, and let's show if that's going to work. All guys you don't really want starting in your fantasy. Should I change my name to A-chan too? Cousin A-chan? I think you think about it. I think it's time for shaking things up a little. Chicago is home against the Vikings.

And I guess Carson Wentz. I can't imagine Kyler Murray's because that poor guy was doing the fencing position. That's usually two weeks. Yeah, we won't see him. I have Bears minus three and a half. Oh, all right. I thought I would lose it here. I had three and a half also.

It's five and a half. Carson wants by there. You know. look, you're thinking teaser. You're going to tease through the zero slightly. I don't know if the, from what we saw from the Bears defense where they should be put with other teams. Right.

To me, if you're going to do the money line with them, you do it with the over, right? Just like right on, although, man, I had the Cardinals one. I almost did them for Ringer 107. I had a tease with them in the over. It was 41. And the final score was 26.14.

Chargers didn't score in the second half. I thought I'd nailed that game perfectly. Football's back, baby. It's back. It's self-loathing and regret. We're back. Pat Steelers is our last watchables. It's in New England.

I can't go higher than two and a half for this. Wow. Really? Yeah, I can't. What is it? I win this. I said three. Three and a half, and I was a point off.

It's four and a half. Vegas, son. Come on, you gotta like, that's, I mean, you wouldn't be shocked if they lost, but you'd be pretty, if that's on a one-score game. You're not going to give Aaron Rogers trouble? He beat us last year. No, A.J. Brown. We also don't have booty.

So now we don't have a deep threat. We have Dobbs, who was so bad last week, it's still a top of good conversation back home. Kyle Williams, who I guess is the deep threat now, who won out of every 10 times, it's like an awesome pass to him. And then the other nine times,

it seems like him and Drake May both thought it was a different play. Henderson might not be healthy. I don't know. I love all the negative talk, but if T.J. Watt doesn't get his big mid on that pass. Cooper Rush beats the Steelers today. This is the stupid Steelers, though. Yeah. Okay.

Fairly watchables. I got four. bucks browns in Tampa I'm probably too low I had bucks minus seven no you're going to get it I was too low I said six and a half it is seven and a half now we're talking teaser we're talking turkey teaser

that is that is looking teaseish yeah this is a kind of game though you will absolutely hate the bucks even if you win because they'll screw with you a little bit. As I said earlier, you know, when you have loved ones that might not be around for a lot longer

and you go visit them, you know, like an uncle or a grandparent, you said this to me 20 years ago when we were sitting next to each other, 22 years ago, we're sitting next to each other at Jimmy Kim alive because we shared an office

and our desk right next to each other. Yeah. And we had a lot of spare time and your brain was moving a hundred miles an hour back then, and you would just ask me these weird questions that would break my brain. And one day you asked me,

how many times did you think I would get to see my dad for the rest of his life? I was so much more fun back then. And you were like, just the rest of your life, how many more times do you think you'll see him? He lives in Boston, you live here.

How many more times? And then you moved on and you started another conversation. I was just sitting in a world There's no way I moved on. I demanded a number. I must have demanded a number. I think you had somehow calculated your parents

because your parents didn't live fair yet. And you're like, I know, and then they moved out. You were thinking maybe 68 more times and now it's been 680. I know, it would have been plenty. No, no, I love them. I love them at death. Anyway, it's not going to happen.

I mentioned that story. have to, why? As a segue, because I feel sad. We only have so many more times to bet against Deshaun Watson. Oh, I see. I got you.

This might be it. This is the last week. I'm going to have multiple bets. This is like the goodbye. We're taking them to hospice after this. It's also the Baker Bowl. Baker's got to hate this team a little. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. This is, this line will be nine and a half in two days. Baltimore's home against the Saints. I put minus seven for this one because of the the late touchdown potential

of the Saints and the Ravens defense which seems like it would love to give up a late touchdown. I don't think it could be much higher than seven. I said eight. It is eight and a half. Oof. It's a little pricey. Yeah, I think they just think the Ravens... You're beating me this week.

I'm a little off. I'm like a point-half off. Five to three, including ties, yeah. Cowboys home from... for Washington. I put this in the Vegas zone. I have four and a half for the Cowboys. My God. We tie here. Yep. What is it? Four and a half. Oh, we both got it. Yeah, we both got it.

I know I'm going to put them in a money line. I have some bad ones. I have some two that are three off. So you're going to three that are three off. This was the hardest one for me, this next one. Packers are at the Jets. I tried this in a bunch of different ways. I was like when you get ice cream and eat the little spoons. Yeah.

I'm like, can I try the banana cream pie? Right. Can I try that almond? I tried Packers minus one and a half. I tried Packers minus one. I tried Jets minus one and a half. I put, I wrote down Pickham. I landed at Packers minus one against the Jets.

You gave it too much thought because you weren't even close. It's four and a half. I said four. Packers four and a half? Yeah. Really? At the Jets? Must.

Mustish win, right? Mustish. From what you saw from the Packers today. I know. Their running backs are probably bottom five out of all the running backs in the league without Jacobs. They can't block

and their defense gave up multiple big plays. They have real special teams issues. Their fans hate their coach. Why would they be favored on the road against the Jets team that, I don't know, It's coming off a win, and I don't get that one. I got to be honest, I saw the least of the Jets.

I had it on my computer screen. My biggest takeaway is that Aaron Glenn should keep the towel. I know it was sweltering hot, but he should turn into Tark from UNLV. Like, he won with it. Don't let that go. But otherwise, it was a lot of guys just not moving the ball for hours, I thought. I'm glad to say I didn't see any of it. It was one of the sacrifices.

Yeah, there's eight games. I'm not watching all eight games. Yeah. So that was a pretty easy sacrifice. I just think it was... I guess it would have been four and a half. My bigger point is I don't think the Packers are good. Right.

And I don't think that's a weak one overreaction. All right. He gave us 29 straight points to Carson Wentz to lose today. Could this be... There is always one where there's a team that's 0 and 2 and team that's 2 and 0, and they either has business being the other, you know? This could be the one. I don't like them on the road or at home.

poop facta. Panthers are at Atlanta, and I have the Panthers in the Tic Tac Zone as a minus one and a half favorite. All right. That's what, wait, I had plus one to a half. So I had Panthers minus one to half. It's Falcons minus one and a half. Yeah, so we're both off three points. Jesus. So Falcons, not even knowing who their quarterbacks is going to be one in one. It's insane. So, yeah, so no matter what happens,

that game, the AFC South cannot be 0 and 2 next week. Right. Oh, that sucks. Yeah, you're right. Sorry. Oh, I know how to end. Can I just say? There's no way either team should lay points in this game. They should both get four and a half points.

Is that possible? Both teams are getting four and a half. Does that make it too easy for the betters? You tease them each way? Yeah. I mean, you could do that with this game. But for this game, you could tease it. Oh, my gosh.

The Falcons plus four and a half and the Panthers plus seven and a half and just try to middle it with a close terrible game. That's the worst. I might do that. Eagles are at the Titans. I'm sure very few things, but I'm betting anything. This is in the Vegas zone. I'm going to say Eagles minus four and a half.

I'm going to beat you this week. I had six and a half at seven. I'm off all over the place. What's going on with you, Bill? Yeah, I'm off. Is it your site? Are you not able to see? No, I got new context.

I can say. Oh, they came in? Yeah, yeah. All right. Pretty happy. Yeah, it's weird. No, finally see you again. Eagles minus seven, huh?

So that's like just the Titans thing. Because they looked. I mean, they did the same yardage and everything as the Redskins. That might be another teaser game. Seahawks are at Arizona. I think I hit this one exact. Seahawks, no Sam Darnold. So Drew Locke.

Cardinals looked awesome. It's in Arizona. Fans are going to be excited. I have Seahawks minus three and a half. All right, yeah, I was off by three points here. It's five and a half. Oh. It's definitely Drew Locke, right?

They're all but ruled them out. Darno's out for this week. So I at least got that one, right? I'm off by two points every game. Yeah. Cards. Kind of have a sexy home dog there. I'm just trying to think.

So they have the rest advantage, right? Seattle. It didn't come from anywhere stupid. Yeah, I think it's just, boy, you talk about a backdoor cover potential. That's the one. Chargers home for the Raiders. They will be a lot of Raiders fans in this game,

and I have Chargers minus eight. I had eight also at seven. So the Chargers had a really hard schedule, especially from a rest advantage standpoint, which was about as unfavorable as it's ever been in the history of the league. but they were supposed to go two and oh to start the season. Right. So they lose the first game.

Now they have this Raiders game where the Raiders actually looked semi-competent, so who knows? Well, if you need 15 points to beat the Chargers, then fine. No one's out of it. I forgot to tell everybody, everyone who had all the negativity toward my guy, Drake May, Wednesday and Thursday, I really hope that kept the same energy for Justin Herbert over the next 24 hours. He was worse than Drake Mae was. He was awful. Nobody was worse.

He was 100% worse than Drake May was. Are you kidding me? Maybe through three picks in his last three times. He was in Seattle against the Super Bowl defense. Justin Herbert was playing the fucking Cardinals. A team that had it over under of three and a half games. See, this is what happens. He looked like he was playing the Seahawks.

I know. He was way worse than Drake May. And almost killed McConkey. Yeah, that's true. Drake made it and kill McConkey. Drake may didn't kill anyone. Last one, Niners home for the Dolphins. I'm just operating as the Dolphins

have to be double figure underdogs against everyone they play. I have the Niners minus 12 and a half and I think this goes up. You were smart about it. I said 10 and a half. It's 13 and a half. Now, it should go higher than that.

But what, man, I just think that Australia thing has to screw with, Now I'm really into these time zones and everything. Yeah, I feel like we learned so much about time zones. What's the score? Am I down two? Do I have a chance?

34, five, six, seven, eight. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Ten to eight. Is there two more or one more? Two more. Okay. I was off by two on one and I was off by one on this game. Sunday night, Kansas City.

Home for the Colts. Mm-hmm. I begs zone this. Chiefs minus five. I get this. Five and a half for me, it's six and a half. But there's no way to know. Beat me.

Yeah, baby. Now I have the, you and Jacobi texting as celebrating. Here we go, Jacob's, here we go. You always start out early and then you fall apart. I know. Monday night, Rams, home for the Giants. So before the night's game, I had this in the eight and a half range. And as I'm watching the Giants, I lowered it.

I have Rams minus six and a half. Oh, wow. I thought I was going to miss. I missed by two points. I said seven and a half. It's nine and a half. Oh, that's stupid. Destruction.

That's stupid. Let me see if they changed it. Maybe I'll give this one to you because I did check before. No, Miles Garrett. Yeah. There's no way it's nine and a half. It's got to be lower than that. No, it's seven and a half.

It went to seven and a half now. Oh, so I won that one. I still get, no, I said seven and a half. You said six and a half. Fine. See? This is what happens. Jesus.

You can lose. You're all right. 12 to, yeah. I'll take it. Big win for you. Let me win something. Before we do,

Parenthood, you say, LA 2 and O. Yeah. Two big second halves. I watched the entire Ohio State, Texas game. I've watched more college football.

I'm on an incredible college. football pace. It's good. Premier League has not been great. Yeah. I picked a team that doesn't score and I've already lost interest. Are you man, you? They don't score. No, I have Tottenham. They don't, they don't, they don't score goals. Right. And I don't know. I wouldn't say I'm Mr. Soccer, but I like soccer. I know soccer pretty well. Like one of the goals of soccer is to score goals. Yeah. They don't score goals. Yeah, I like to see goals. They don't score them. So I'm losing interest and I'm moving toward college football. This week's a great one. Yeah. LSU,

Ole Miss, so they're going to be pissed. Do they criticize the college football coaches like they do with NFL? Because I thought Ohio State, no, during the games,

like the announcers. Oh, maybe not, yeah. I thought Ohio State completely blew that game. I couldn't believe it. The third and four

where they basically throw the 35-yard lob pass in the corner to their best receiver. It's like, okay, that's fine.

that's not the play you needed there. You just need to get four yards. You're probably winning the game. You need to get closer. They throw that point. It doesn't work. And then they missed the field goal setting up Texas coming back down. But it's like you've third and four on the other side of the field.

And you have the team you have. Like that game should be over. They depended on Jeremiah Smith too much, I thought. Way too much. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. I don't know.

I thought Arch would move up in the high's been there. Did you feel like enough people were running toward him after he won? I felt like he was running around like Jim Valvino style, looking for somebody to hug. Everybody was gravitating toward other players. Yeah. He almost gets run over by the steer. Yeah.

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Where some see heroes and others see egos. Bloomberg sees the era of billionaire athletes. While others follow the noise, we follow the money. Learn more at Bloomberg.com. Yeah. Today's Parent Corner brought to you by PayPal. In parenting and in sports,

the best game plan is having the right tools at the right place. That's why the new PayPal app brings shopping, paying, earning rewards and managing your accounts together in one spot.

Plus offers deals and stackable reward shows up every time you open the app. Parent Corner, you're up. All right, here we go. So my wife flew out with my son Archie to set him up for a senior year.

So he and his friends moved from like a nice apartment to a house. and she was not happy with this because it's a nice apartment. And now it's a house that is, it's got like a used as like an auto body shop on one side and then behind it and down a little as a dispensary. So she's not happy with this location. And like I think like college kids, it's more important to have a dispensary close by

than even like your classes, right? Right. Close. Right. So they want to have parties. So they're going to have parties. Now my wife was freaked out because. as she's like setting up his furniture and stuff and whatever,

they make that crazy target run, there's a tweaker outside and he just wanders the neighborhood. And it freaks her out. And they all kind of like know him in the neighborhood, but he can get like ornery too. So he'll like steal like DoorDash orders, but just parts of them, like if somebody orders like a raspberry lemonade or something, they'll just be gone.

So they know to like order extra because it's going to be stolen, even if they have their eye on it. And the cops will come by. but they don't do anything. They just give them like granola bars and stuff. So she is really messed up about this guy. She's like, he's going to kill everybody. But he also like he hung two branches in the tree right in front of their house.

Two branches and wire and like phone cables to ward off evil spirits, which I think is nice. Like trapping evil spirits. Yeah, that's neighborly. Yeah. I wish someone would do that around here. Keep some of the evil spirits away from me taking the chargers, you know. but it drives her bizarre, and she was mad that, like,

I'm not getting mad about it. And she's like, put it on Parent Corner and see what Bill thinks. I was like, Bill doesn't allow his 88-year-old father to take a cab home from Fenway Park. He's fine. He's going to be fine with it.

He lives on the edge. He doesn't wear a seatbelt. So he's going to say, let the tweak or move in. So, I don't know. I think it's fun to tough it out. My apartment's got worse and worse through college,

like my sophomore to junior to senior year. I think it builds character, unless you're murdered, then you have like zero character in that case. But I don't know what to tell her. I think it's fine. What do you think? I think from ages 21 to 24 are probably going to be the worst apartments you live in. Yeah.

It's just not going to go perfectly. Right? So I think this is how you learn about life. This is it, right? The counter would be unless you were murdered as you were sleeping, would be the counter. Yeah. Don't get murdered. It used to be don't get fired, right?

Aluminum baseball bat under the bed just in case. Yeah, you know what? I will. Just go to, yeah, just go to Dick's sporting goods or something. Just get, I would go for the aluminum because the wood could break. The aluminum, he gets some good swings, maybe get like a, you know, he figures out what he could get like three, four good wax in. I like that. But then maybe he's one of the evil spirits, my son is, with the aluminum bat that's being warded off.

I don't know. It gets complicated. I know what you're saying now. My parent corner, so we've been talking a lot about getting another dog. And it's, you know, because Ben's going to college in January. And then when he goes,

he's got first semester, second semesters over in the summer in London, third semester. Like, he's just going to be gone. And then Zoe's going to be graduating and probably staying in Boston. So it's like, if we're ever going to bring another dog, And this might be around the time.

And my wife doesn't want to do it. But then every time I look over, she's on like PetFinder or looking for rescue dogs and all this stuff. So I had the, we got, we got Murph. We have multiple rescue dogs, but we got Murph from a breeder because we want a golden retriever. And so that same one, we're talking about maybe getting another golden retriever because even though Murph's sociopath, he's been a great dog for the most part. We love Murf. And hey, what do you have?

Do you have a litter? So there was a litter that was allegedly coming. And we've been arguing about it the whole time because I'm like, well, if she has a litter, we could get a girl. And then Murph would have a playmate and two Goldens. And my wife's like, no, we'd have another Murph. This would be the worst thing we ever did. We'd end up getting divorced.

This would be a nightmare. So we just argue about it. And then we go back and forth. So anyway, it turns out the litter, the puppy never got pregnant. Oh. So there's no litter. So we thought, like, maybe in December. So we're like, okay, that was God deciding we're not getting a dog. So what happens over the next, I don't know, five, six days? I've noticed my wife a few times, like, checking out Instagram stuff. There's this dog. So now she's like, if we get a dog, it has to be a rescued dog. And I was like, well, we got these two other rescued dogs. And, you know, I feel like we did our rescued dog. But she's like, no, it's we got to do that again. That's got to be what it is. And this is kind of all we talk about now is about whether we get a dog or not.

I don't know what this is what happens when your kids go to college, but this is just a nonstop never-ending argument about whether we should get a third dog or not. Why don't we want to rescue? What's your con against the rescue? Obviously great to rescue dogs. I'm all for it. And we've had a couple. Oh, right.

Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead. Yeah. The counter is sometimes the body language isn't great. Hmm. And you kind of assume the body language in the house of the rescue dog, right? Like the rescue dog has, it's always like, are you leaving?

Is this going to be it? Are you coming back? Yeah. Whereas like the dog that's been there since it was a puppy just as like Murph thinks he's as much owner of the house as we are. Like he's just like, hey, I'm going to bed. I'll just lie like right in the middle of the bed. Whereas the rescue dogs are always just a little nervous like they might get abandoned again.

And you've had it. You've had a bunch of them too. You have one too. My dog, rescue dog won't eat unless my wife is. And if she's out of time for the weekend, it's like, all right, he's not eating. I'm like, all right, stupid. I'm the one who walks you. Why are you just, you know, you should be, anyway, you're right.

Emotionally, they're a little. But the rescue dog thing is the right thing to do. And I think that's what we'll end up doing because there's so many dogs that need a home. So we're kind of gradually getting there, but I think it has to be a puppy so that at least we can get them early and try to. See, to me, that's the, that's the last. The puppy. This is my wife's case. She's like, are you going to be getting up?

Are you going to be the one getting up at 3 in the morning? It's like, well, I don't have a job. The puppy could cause a divorce more than even just the dog, the whole, do you get a rescue or not? Well, then there's this thing where you send the dog away for like three weeks, so it gets trained and everybody who does it says it's the best. But that kind of feels like cheating. Like we wouldn't do that with humans.

We had a daughter. We sent her away. We get her back when she turns two. It's three weeks. That's not that bad. So you immediately send them. You get to know them for like a couple weeks and then send them? Here's what, yeah, that's what happens.

But here's what's going to happen. We're not going to end up getting the third dog. Oh. And I just know how it's going to play out. It's not going to happen. And we'll just ride it out with Murph and Jesse. Jesse's like 13, but in great shape. But at some point, if Jesse, you know, if Jesse, if Jesse, it goes in the wrong.

direction and we only have one dog. This is all, my wife will, there's no way we will have one dog. Right. So I think that's how this plays out. But my point is we've spent a lot of time and I just wasted a whole parent corner talking about it. And I don't even think we're getting a dog. We're like the, we're like the charger sideline.

We're calling timeouts and we've run out of timeouts and we don't even have a plan. You'll get one within the next two years. I'm sorry to say, but, you know, that 13 years. I really want a dog that's you can't really adopt because it's too hard to nobody there's no rescue versions of these at least that I don't know but I really love Newfoundlands oh yeah and we've argued about that a lot I've always wanted one but they drool and I have like they you know and that's kind of and my wife's like well yeah you you'll like it until he drools all over your shirt right as you're about to do a podcast it's always

about like ruining a podcast like look how I'm dressed now right right but I've always always like those dogs. I've always wanted one. That's kind of the... My cousin Katie has one and it is just non-stop drool. They will walk. It won't, it won't fall a lot of times. They'll walk with it around the house and, you know, it's just unless it's different string. Yeah, yeah. It's kind of cool. So does she like it? Yeah, yeah, but she has three dogs too, gigantic dogs. So they're just in it to win it. Three gigantic ones. Yeah. Why don't you just buy the Mariners? Maybe that's what I'll do instead. Talk to her about that after this.

I'll buy it. Maybe I'll buy the OA Sparks. I'll get involved in an ownership group, try to save them. Either that or a newfoundland. What are the other? That was today's parent corner brought to you by PayPal. More security is always a win. And the new PayPal app has you covered with PASkey's Biometric Security Plus purchase protection and eligible items all working together. So you're safe every step of the way. Download the PayPal app to get started. See PayPal.com slash protection terms. Emmys tomorrow night. I was just going to say, yeah. Come on. Let's just win one for Jimmy Kimmelah. Everyone within the sound of my voice, vote for Jim. Although these people can't vote. No, the votes are in. Vote so long in. Yeah.

Is he favored, do you think? Oh, no, no, no. No. The technical Emmys are a precursor. And Colbert won most of those. And if you look on some of these sites or whatever, yeah, it's a long shot. But the voting's weird this year and you could tie or something. You could share the award maybe.

that's more of a possibility but he's not favorite. We share the award. That's ridiculous. It would be a tie that's very, I don't want to get it. It's a long, it's a long thing.

So, can we win once? Is he doing the, is he doing his show too tomorrow? No, no, they're off tomorrow. No show.

All right. Yeah. Yeah, the avers are five Pacific. So, well, good luck to him. You're going to be on, you're going to be on, you're going to be on,

uh, Ringar Wise guys. What days this week? Tate, Rahim, Tony Tokens, Joe House, and myself are tomorrow. and then Tuesday and Thursday and our big week two preview on Friday.

Always fun with those guys. The first preview was great. Oh, you liked it? Okay, good. Yeah, it was good. I actually liked having it more on a Friday than you guys doing it on Sunday. Yeah, yeah.

Like to having, you know, 40 hours to kind of... That's nice. Listen to it. It was interesting, though. House was basically doing the same bits he did on the Thursday night pod with me. The same bits. It was like watching the Bob back with John Studd

batch of New York were the backbreaker and then it goes to Boston and I saw the same match. So I don't know. He's got to work on that. I don't know if he could have the same ending for the match. Well, it might be a different audience, much like the wrestling. Yeah, I used to love that too. Don't we just talk about that?

Andre the Giant and the Ultimate Warrior, they did like... Yeah, the squash matches. The squash matches. Yeah, because Andre couldn't wrestle. So they would just go around the country and Warrior would beat him in 90 seconds. Same three moves. And every time it would be this new thing in the city, but nobody knew.

I was thinking if I was in the mid-80s, if you had told me all the wrestling would someday be available and basically like a TV that looked like this that I could just hold up and watch every match from the 80s on my command, like what my reaction would have been. I think I don't,

I just would have had so many more questions. Yeah. Like is there basketball too? Are football games on there? What about Letterman? episodes. Everything. Yeah. Everything.

But you'll probably get involved in a, you know, he's stuck in a dog adoption algorithm and then that's what you end up watching. Yeah, we're just not going to end up getting one. It's going to have to be, I'm kind of glad I put it out there because then maybe somebody will hear and be like, oh my God, my next door neighbor has a litter, Newfoundland's coming. Yeah.

And there's two left. You can get in on it. Yeah. Get a junkyard dog. Get a British bulldog. Get a bulldog buzz away. Short, fat dog, the dynamite kid. All right. That's it for the pod. So thanks to Gahau and thanks to Eduardo. And I always forget to thank Chris Wallers, who's unsung MVP at the rear.

Yeah, he's really, we have a great, great, awesome crew beyond the scenes. But thanks to him, thanks to Jack Wilson, who's probably working tonight, even though he's pretend he's not. he's the second best. Yeah, we have a lot of best. We have a lot of great people at the ringer. Sal, I will see you next Sunday after whatever the NBC game is. As always, good job by you. Good job by you, buddy.

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