The Bill Simmons Podcast - Tiffany Haddish | The Bill Simmons Podcast (Ep. 419)

Episode Date: September 26, 2018

HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons talks with actress and comedian Tiffany Haddish about her performance origins, her upcoming projects including 'Night School,' dating after fame, and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Might be some names entering our orbit. Stay tuned. Who knows? Speaking of names entering our orbit. Stay tuned. Who knows? Speaking of names entering the orbit, eh, you'll hear in a second. Monday, lunchtime. Tiffany Haddish is here, sitting in a stance I've never seen. A lot of people have been on that couch. You are sitting back, cradling the microphone.

Yeah, I'm holding it. Like it's like a boyfriend. Right between my boobies. It's just resting there. You're very boobies. It's just resting there. You're very comfortable right there. That's good for me. You have a new haircut? Yeah, I got a new haircut.

It's a new wig. It's short? My hair is actually long. This is a short wig cut. I like it. You like it? Yeah, it's like very, I don't know. It looks professional, for lack of a better word.

You could host Good Morning America for an hour or something in like a nice suit. That I could do. Or I could be a flight attendant. Exits are located here, here, and here. Coffee, tea, wine, champagne, orange juice. What would you like? We have the same person who does PR for us. He's my friend though.

He doesn't like being called a PR flack. Oh, he's your friend? He's been. He's an alumni to the high school. I know. You guys have all history. And he's straight. That's for Steve.

That's for Steve, the paparazzi in New York. He always, he's like, you got a guy publicist? I'm like, yeah. And he's like, and he's gay, right? And I'm like, no, he's straight. He got a wife and kids. He's like, unheard of. It's so funny, Tiffany.

He's been nervous about this podcast. Why? I don't know. He's afraid of us getting together. He didn't want, he knows I'm good at what I do. He's afraid I'm going to rope you into saying stuff you shouldn't say. Oh, well.

That we'd like each other, that we'd start hanging out outside his pervoil, perveil, what's that word? His, his parameters. Pervoy,

perveil. Why can't I speak? I don't know. I don't know what words you're trying to say. I don't know what word I'm trying to say either. And a parameter,

his. Parameter? Purview, purview. I think it's purview. Yeah. I don't know what purview means it's like a preview let's go backwards okay because you have a lot of stuff coming out yeah you have three movies over the course of like what six seven weeks yeah and you're on a tv show yeah but like five years ago you would have you would have taken any one of these gigs you would have been fired up

and now they're all coming at you like a t-shirt candidate at a basketball game shooting job offers at you and I'm just catching them and a lot of them go fall to the ground if somebody else picks it up so what's your limit?

when's too much? what's your work limit? my work much? Do you have in your head? What's your work limit? My work limit? Yeah, how much can you do? Because it seems like you're doing a lot. I could do whatever I put my mind to. I'm not doing a lot, maybe more than the average person. You're doing a lot.

Because I have a work ethic. Yeah, I know. And, you know, keeps me out of trouble. So is that part of it? Working keeps me out of trouble. So is that part of it? Working keeps me out of trouble. What's trouble? What happens? Oh, you know what trouble is.

I don't. I don't know anything. Oh, you know what trouble is. What's trouble? So if you're not working, bad things could happen? Yeah, bad things could happen. I might get married again and start like cooking and cleaning and stuff. That's trouble.

That's trouble. That's trouble. Were you married? You were married before? Yeah. When was that? Back in the 2000s in zeros. In the zeros? Yeah, 2000. They're calling them the O's now. Those are the O's.

2008 to 2012, 13. And now you're single. Now I'm single. Ready to mingle. But not mingling because I ain't really that ready for it because I'm busy making money, building an empire. Building an empire. What's up with the heavy blanket you sleep with?

The weighted blanket? The weighted blanket. What's up with that? I heard info about the weighted blanket. Okay, so I came up on this weighted blanket because, okay, so I was hanging out with my friend Gerard Carmichael. Yeah. And he said one of his friends, this girl gave him a weighted blanket and it's supposed to like, you know, get rid of anxiety and like, you know, help you fall asleep faster.

It's like snuggling, right? So he let me try it out. I said, oh, I got to give me one of these. And immediately, you know, felt like when it's 25 pound blanket you can get them anywhere from 10 to 25 pounds and when you put it on yourself it feels like somebody's holding you and hugging you it's so it's so beautiful you could have gotten like a 40 pound stuffed animal too and done that yeah but that's like a big job you can't travel with a 40 pound stuffed animal but what you're tiffany she can do whatever you want i'm not

traveling you can have like one of your assistants-pound stuffed animal. Tiffany Haddish, she can do whatever she wants. I'm not traveling. You can have one of your assistants carrying the stuffed animal. I'm not going to be walking around like I just left the dang fair through the airport. Sorry, not doing it. Not doing it. But what I will do is have a super heavy suitcase with a 25-pound blanket in it. See, now, got that blanket. And then what I like to do is do is like after a long day's work

and my mind is still like racing i'll like either cover my whole body with the blanket or if i'm lonely right if i'm feeling like oh i wish i had me a man right now then i throw half the blanket over my legs then i tuck it behind me like somebody crawling up you know how you got dudes be cuddling up to the booty. Y'all know how to do that. Then I put some behind me. Then I put a little cologne on the tip part and I put that over my shoulder like an arm coming over my shoulder. Yes, I do. You really do this?

I really do this. How can you not find a man? I can find one easy. No, but the one that's up to your qualifications. There must be a couple of good choices out there. Did you read the men's journal? I have a to your qualifications. There must be a couple of good choices out there. Did you read the men's journal? I have a list of qualifications. I didn't read the men's journal.

Oh, you should read the men's journal. What are the qualifications? Well, there's a lot. Like, first off, you got to be fun to travel with. Okay. You got to be loyal. Okay. Loyal.

Loyalty. That's a good one. I like that. Loyalty. I like that idea. Loyal. Yeah. That's really hard for a lot of men.

Yeah. Also, you got to have a mole on your left foot. You got to like that idea. Loyal. Yeah. That's really hard for a lot of men. Yeah. Also, you got to have a mole on your left foot. You got to like to dance. You got to have nice hands, nice teeth. You got to be physically fit. You ain't got to be like super fit, but you need to be physically fit. Like you got to be able to pick me up and do things. Hello.

She ready. Got to know, got to be willing to garden a little bit willing to you know um no kids you can't have no kids no kids you don't want to be a stepmom good idea no children no children if i want to be number one yeah i want to be priority number one right but not so much priority where you like psycho crazy about it right you're he's making you spotify playlists and stuff you don't want that i wouldn't mind a playlist but not where it's not one a week oh you want to the doctor i'm going with you and then try to sit in there while i'm getting a pap smear i don't want that smart like because that you know you know how some guys like that's my coochie and

then like but i gotta go to the doctor well i gotta see what they're doing it's a girl doctor right like no i got a boy doctor oh Oh, no, I'm sitting in there. I got to say, I don't know anybody that insists on going to the OBGYN with their girlfriend or wife. This is a first for me. I do. That's possessive. You obviously are not from South Central Los Angeles. That's a possessiveness I've never heard of.

And you obviously don't know insecure men. Well, you know I'm not from South Central because you're looking at me right now. Yeah, I could tell. You didn't see me in high school. You seem more like Van Nuys. Van Nuys? You're more at me right now. Yeah, I could tell. You didn't see me in high school. You're more like Van Nuys. Van Nuys? You're more like Van Nuys.

Come on. Give me at least a thousand oaks. Van Nuys? No. Why Van Nuys? Van Nuys is kind of creepy. They make like porn there.

Maybe Glendale. Glendale? That's bullshit. So when was the last serious boyfriend? You're from Riverside I don't want Riverside You're from Himmett

Just hurt my feelings Just say Lake Chino So when was the last serious boyfriend? You're from Lake Elsinore I don't know where that is Now you're just making up cities in California I know you're from Wildemar Wildemar?

It's right next to Hogwarts. When was the last boyfriend? The last boyfriend was last year. Did you have a boyfriend and became super famous? Last year, huh? Were you famous when you had the boyfriend? I guess so. I mean, not to me, but to other people.

They consider me famous. Because I would say post-girl trip. Girl's trip. Post-girl's trip. Your visibility increased. Visibility increased drastically. And I had a boyfriend, but I had to let him go because... Because he was coming to the OBGYN with you?

No, he wasn't coming to the OBGYN with me. But he was trying to like... I don't know. I felt like he was trying to, he was crossing lines that I wasn't comfortable with. I saw you, the first time I had seen

you on Gerard's show, the first time you jumped out at me like, oh my god, something's happened with her, is Keanu. Keanu, yeah. I was like, wow. It wasn't like that was a giant role, but you jumped out in that one. And then I was not surprised by the girl strip thing. Well, I was like wow it wasn't like that was a giant role but you jumped out in that one and then I was not surprised by the girls trip thing

well I was the leading female in that one besides the pussy you were the pussy cat who now lives with me but then girls trip boom and then all of a sudden you have just a million people coming at you and getting offers left and right, all that stuff.

There's your tea. Thank you. Did you know Girls Trip was going to be big? I knew it was going to be good. I didn't think it would be that big. I didn't think it would do what it did. I just knew it would be good because it was fun to do. I watched it.

My daughter's now 13, but when did it come out? Like two years ago? No, it came out last year. Yeah. Like a year and a year plus. A year and like three months ago. So she was like 11 or 12. We let her watch it.

Why? Why'd you do that? Because I want my kids to have a sense of humor. I pushed the envelope with that. Did you have a conversation with her about grapefruiting and all this? I didn't know that was happening to be honest. But afterwards, did you have a conversation about it?

Like you can't let them just watch these things and then don't have conversation so we have the pause button when you can see it heading a certain direction throw the hands

in front of the face and yeah that doesn't work see listen she's gonna see it anyway it's gonna be on YouTube yeah so you

did you have a conversation with her about it though we had a conversation you have to have. Did you have a conversation with her about it though? We had a conversation. You have to have a conversation. You have to talk with them. Otherwise she's going to be out here at Bar Mitzvah's Grapefruit and Boys. No, she won't. That will not happen. And that's going to be a damn

shame. You know, I used to do Bar Mitzvah's. And I would catch these little girls doing all kinds of stuff. And then I had to, I remember I snatched this one girl by the back of her head. And I probably shouldn't have did that but she had a thing in her mouth and she was too young

to be having the same thing in her mouth what bar mitzvah what are you talking about I'm sure that young man and why were you doing bar mitzvahs you were working

very happy at that mitzvah what were you what do you mean you were at the bar what were you doing I used to do bar mitzvahs I used to my title was

energy producer I would like you know mc i would tell jokes i would choreograph like dance routines for the grand entrance my job was basically to keep the party moving keep the party flowing it's a hard job energy up my daughter was in the bar mitzvah scene last year so i went to a bunch of them yeah you gotta keep the energy up gotta keep the energy up spend a lot of money it's like a wedding yeah keep the energy up. Got to keep the energy up. Spend a lot of money. It's like a wedding. Yeah, it is like a wedding. I say it's really expensive and big.

I went to one that was like 400 people. Wow. Yeah. See, that was just to show off. That's the family showing off. Yeah. That's them showing off. See, there's business deals going on and all kinds of stuff.

Just wait till you have kids. Maybe you'll have a 400 person bar mitzvah. Nope. Nope. That's what's not going to happen. They'll have a mitzvah, but there will not be no 400 people. It'll be about a hot 40.

We might turn it into a tea party. A 40 is smart. The hardest I've ever seen my daughter laugh was the the zipline scene. Oh, well.

So that's still the record. But it was good. I think that movie is going to have legs with the, you know, it's funny as the years go, certain movies belong So that's still the record. But it was good. I think that movie's going to have legs. It's funny, as the years go, certain movies belong to little generations. Some of the Aptown movies are like that, or The Hangover is very specifically 2008. And it feels like Girls Trip and a couple others from last year were like the 2017.

Like, oh yeah, that was the year when that happened. Yeah. And it was good for you a classic i feel like it's a classic it seems like already it's a classic because i've already done 17 000 movies yeah how many so how many have you done since since then i think six what was the best one i don't know yet we'll see when it comes up which one are you the most excited about i'm excited about all of them, man. There's all my babies. Great answer.

You've been trained really well by Louis K. He's really smart. He didn't teach me. I like how you said that. You know, I thought when I hired him, he would teach me like press etiquette. Like I would go through some like, this is how you do press, you know, PR, like a class. Like this is proper etiquette. This is how you talk to an interviewer.

This is how you this, this, how you that. He didn't do none of that. I'm really starting to feel like I'm getting gypped. Because I never got put through the course. So now sometimes I say crazy things. He'll be like, oh man, now we got to fix that. And I'm like, well, let me just say this to fix that. Maybe he's just hands off and he wants to let you be you.

Okay, that's fine. That's fine. You want to let me be me. But sometimes me be messing up. You haven't gotten in trouble yet, though, have you? Have you said anything that you had to walk back? I don't remember that. No.

I mean, I always speak my truth. We had to clean up some things. Oh, yeah. But I did crack a joke. It wasn't a good joke and people got upset and I had to say, guys,

it was a bad joke. Get over it. I'm a comedian. Well, I do think there's a couple of people that are in that zone where they can get away

with a little more and I think you're in that zone. I'm in the get away with it more zone. Yeah, a little bit. I was like, I was caught the Howard Stern zone because for some'm in the get away with it more zone? Yeah, a little bit. I was caught the Howard Stern zone

because for some reason he can get away with more than anybody because he's got the 40 years of- I was listening to some of Howard Stern's old shows. I'm like, wow, that sounds like

a whole Me Too situation going on right now. But that was back in the 90s. Yeah, he's always had the way. I think Charles Barkley is like that weirdly. He can push the envelope on shows and people

don't get mad cause it's him cause it's Charles Barkley I think people know when it comes from like a place of like you're being just mean or being evil or vicious or is it coming from a place of goodness and you're just trying to bring some joy

yeah I agree with that. I think Chappelle is an interesting variation of this, because he just doesn't give a shit. He says whatever he wants. And now he got some backlash when the two Netflix things came out briefly, and he was like, I don't care. This is how I feel.

I'm doing comedy, and either watch it or don't watch it, and now he's good. Now it just seems like he can say whatever. I mean, not whatever. Well, he sings wherever. Yeah. I was just with him last night.

He's singing his ass off. What's he singing about? And so was I. Oh, singing at like a club? Yeah. We just went to like this place that has like live band. Yeah. And they had a microphone there.

And then, you know, whenever there's a microphone a comedian wants to get on that and then uh his he sings lauren hill songs those are his go-to songs lauren hill and um um i go to tina turner smart and so i sang uh proud mary and then he sang um a lauren hill song you didn't do What's Love Got To Do With It no I didn't do that one no you really threw yourself into that one

what does love got to do with it who knows I don't know who there's people who are funny comedians and then there are people who are just flat out funny

in the room just hilarious who's like in your top four or give me give me a couple that are just hilarious just like hilarious they always said like Chris Farley was just like hilarious people say that about you

like when you're going you're like a hurricane and it's just comedy flying out left to right when I get going but I'm still asleep right now but like who makes me laugh like in the room Dave Chappelle he always makes me laugh that's why I asked Dave Chappelle. He always makes me laugh.

Because that's why I asked. Because they always said he's just funny all the time. Yeah, he's just funny all the time. Like in just regular conversation, you're going to laugh. Who else? Oh, there's this comedian named Tony Roberts. He is hilarious. He's a comedian's comedian.

Oh, the comedian's comedian. I love those. Yeah, he's a comedian's comedian. If you get to like hang out with him, you're going to laugh. Even if you're having a serious conversation, you're going to laugh. Who else is like that? Kevin is funny all the time. He's always funny.

Will Forte. Oh, interesting. Will Forte oh interesting Will Forte is hilarious yes when we did Keanu they were braiding his beard and I was like trying to coach him through it because he's a white man getting his hair braided

he was in a lot of pain and I was like trying to make him laugh and stuff and then whenever I talk to him on the phone or whenever I see him we laugh a lot Will Forte is hilarious he's just funny you did the SNL make them laugh and stuff. And then whenever I talk to him on the phone or whenever I see him, we laugh a lot. With Forte, it's hilarious. It's just funny. You did the SNL.

Did you get nominated for that or did you win? What happened? I got nominated and then I took home the trophy. You won, right? For best supporting something? No, guest star. Best guest star? Yeah.

Nice. Congratulations. What was that whole week like? Did you feel like you could have been on that show for five years no no hell no how come no that's a lot of work I wasn't cut out I wasn't cut out for that type of work you just talked about how great your work ethic is

I was cut out for a lot of work but I wasn't cut out for that type of work why you have to be a special person like everyone that works over there they are special wonderful people like you have to be a certain kind of a beast to handle that I'm not cut out to handle a special person. Like, everyone that works over there, they are special, wonderful people. Like, you have to be a certain kind of a beast to handle that.

I'm not cut out to handle it on a weekly basis. So the rise and fall pressure of week to week you wouldn't want? No, thank you. But,

yeah, you made like seven movies this year. Yeah, that's different. Why? Because they hand you the script

before you even take the job and you can read it and see like, okay, is this something I want to do? Yeah. You know, then you make the decision. So it's within these lines that you kind of know where the lines are and then you just do the performance. And everything I do has a lot of heart in it, like in a lot of Tiffany on it. You know, whatever character I'm playing or whatever it's, it's me, you know? So I'm not cut out to do that though.

I'm just not cut out to do that. But doing it one week was fun. Yeah. One week was, it was fine. Why fine? What happened? It was fine. What was the matter?

Nothing. You wouldn't go back? I mean, it was fine. I mean, if they really wanted me to come back. You have a look on your face that people can't hear because it's a podcast. But they can hear it. You have a look like you wouldn't go back. They can hear me.

They know how I feel. So what didn't you like about it? What didn't? It was different. Let's take a break to talk about Gillette. You know, I've been trying to stay clean shaven. I've been lazy about it. I had a beard for a while. Wasn't feeling it anymore. I shaved. Now I got like the Don stay clean shaven. I've been lazy about it. I had a beard for a while.

Wasn't feeling it anymore. I shaved. Now I got the Don Johnson stubble again. It's hard. It's not fun to shave sometimes. Unless you use Gillette. There's nothing like smoothing my stubble away with the Gillette Fusion Pro Shield. Gillette is based in Boston. It's just

one of the many reasons I love them. Their craftsmanship is unbeatable. I've been using it for the last 30 plus years of my life. Going back to high school when I was shaving the four hairs of my lip, pretending I needed a shave. The Gillette Fusion Pro Shield, a perfect example of how great Gillette is. It moves to the shape of your face to get virtually every hair. They even have a precision trimmer on the back, perfect for those hard to reach areas. Now at Gillette On Demand, go online, subscribe to have your favorite blades

like the Fusion Pro Shield delivered directly to your door. That way you're never without a smooth shave when you need one. Subscribe to Gillette On Demand today. Get $5 off your first order with special offer. Simmons 5, that's the offer code, like the number 5 at checkout. Simmons 5. Enjoy free shipping, every fourth order free with subscription. Just visit Gillette online at gilletteondemand.com to get started. And while we're here, don't forget

about theringer.com slash shop. If you like the t-shirts and the hats that you see us on the Instagrams, on the Twitters, on the YouTubes. You can check all that out. And speaking of checking out stuff, Shaq House, Shaq House, Shaq House presented by Callaway. Ryder Cup is this week. We had House on the BS podcast this week, but he is going to give his, his takes on the Ryder Cup gambling advice. Subscribe now. Shack House. All right. Back to Tiffany. Can I ask you a question? Yeah. Do you have a wife? I do. I'm afraid to ask you an inappropriate question. Sure. Okay. This is, this is, this is a survey I'm taking because I'm trying to work on a new joke. Okay. So I'm already

blushing. I don't know where this is going. You are blushing so hard. You're going to blush even more. If you came home, right, and you got on the family computer, right? Yeah. Or maybe it's just, let's just say it's just you and your wife's computer

because you got kids. It's just you and your wife's computer. And you go to the search engine and you notice that she is searching gay male porn. Man on man porn. And you notice that she is searching gay male porn, man on man porn. And you notice that she is watching a lot of man on man porn.

Do you talk to her about it? Do you just let it be? You mean like keep it like buried, like a secret? Like don't say nothing about it. Act like you didn't even see it in the search. Or do you ask her about it? Like, why are you watching all this gay male porn? So my wife and I have been together for 20 years.

I would definitely be like, what the hell is going on with your Google search? You would ask her? I would ask her. And then what if she said, I'm just trying to learn how to, you know, make you feel good. I'm just trying to see. I'm just trying to learn how to suck it better. I don't know what my response to that would be I'm just trying to learn how to take it in a button don't cry

when did she say that to you when did she you gonna be okay with that you are so here so red right now you look like you about to explode like a cartoon with the mom in her you are so red maybe laugh

yeah I would definitely ask nephew Kyle knows my wife get me out of that shit it's my auntie I don't want to know I'm sorry so what's the bit how do you turn that into a joke I don't know I'm working on it I'm trying to figure it out that's something I'm trying to figure out

but I think it's really funny. Well, you know, men are always getting caught watching. Like they're always getting caught watching girls on girls or, you know, a guy and a girl.

But when, how do you respond to find out your wife is watching guys on guys? That's that. Those bits really work well in standup. When you make the couples that are on the date uncomfortable. You do it like some, some comics have done it where Eddie Murphy was like the first one I remember who would really like do that and put people on edge who were next to each other.

Right. My favorite thing is to get a couple to kiss and then ask them to grab her titties. That's my favorite thing to do. Do they do it? Sometimes they do. Sometimes the girl's like, no, ew. And I'm like, she don't love you like you thought she did. I love at sporting events when they have the kiss cam

and then they settle on two people who are on a date but don't want to kiss. Right. Great tension. Yeah. And the crowd starts raspberrying them and booing them. And then finally the guy leaves over over for like the stupid kiss. Right.

So you're not going back to SNL. It was a great swerve on the gay male porn search. I'm just, okay, another question. Never mind. I'm not going to ask you no more questions. Tell me about the Kevin Hart movie. So Night School is a great movie. It's about second chances where this character, Teddy, that's played by Kevin,

he loses his job by some disastrous accident. And he needs to get another job because he's been living this facade or putting up this facade that he's like balling out of control, you know, and been kind of like lying to his girlfriend. So he needs to step up his game and get a job. But he can't because he doesn't have a high school diploma. So he has to get his GED. And that's where I come in. Oh, that's where you come in.

That's where I come in because I'm the night school teacher. And, you know, I just, I don't play games. And like Teddy's a hustler. That character's a hustler. And so he tries to hustle me, like get some tacos and like does all these things to try to get me to just pass him through. But I don't play that. I don't play that in real life either. You got to do the work.

So I make him do the work and then he gets his ged i tried to convince espn to have kevin host the espys like six years ago and i was showing the clip to these people that ran espn who were not kevin's audience and i was like just trust us he's gonna come out all the athletes love him the energy will be there and they were just watching it going like, oh, I don't know. Like he's not conventional, but he's funny. Right. But you put him in a situation like a big building with a bunch of famous people. Like that's who you want.

But you're like that too. You did the MTV thing last year. Yeah. You come out, you get up energy, you're going to be funny. Yeah. Or this year, not last year. Yeah, that was this year you're already in the future huh

this year you make everything like girls trip three years ago I don't know what year it is and I don't know how old I am I don't know what's going on I'm like you

I work hard I don't know why your wife is watching gay male porn you don't know anything could you host the ESPYs do you know enough about sports I don't know anything. Could you host the ESPYs? Do you know enough about sports? I don't know enough about sports, but I know how much money a lot of these athletes are making. You could cheat.

I'll figure it out. Have any of these athletes asked you out? Oh, a pause. That's still an athlete? No, it could be either or a former athlete could be former okay former athlete

former athlete definitely did Richard did Richard Rountree play any sports no he seemed like it he seemed like he built like a football club

Richard Rountree yeah that was a long time ago though yeah we met at a barbecue place maybe you need like a you that was a long time ago though. Yeah, we met at a barbecue place. Maybe you need like a celebrity boyfriend so you do the power couple. Have like the tour on us

weekly for like two months and then you break up and they put the tear in it between the pictures. And then they put the tear in it. It's like two months and then it ends and there's a tear. It's like a whole cycle. I kind of got a thing for barbers. Barbers? Yeah. Now we of got a thing for barbers. Barbers? Yeah.

Now we're getting somewhere. Why barbers? Barbers, cause they busy, they got clients. I don't know. I just made that up bro. Now you got barbers listening to you wondering they have a chance. So you-

The last guy I had a crush on was a barber. That's why I just put that up. You grew up in LA? Grew up in LA. South Central? Lamar Odom asked me out. See, I had to think. I had to pull in.

I had to dig in my thing. But I said, no, thank you. Yeah, that's probably the right move. I said, no, thank you. No offense to Lamar, but yeah. Yeah, I invited him to a comedy show. Nice guy. And he didn't show up.

Not great. That's okay. We was in Vegas. So you grew up in South Central? Yeah. Then what happens? Then... What happens when you're like 19?

You're trying to do comedy? 19, I was working at the airlines. Oh, you really were. You were doing this, the flight attendant joke before. You really did work for an airline. I worked for Alaska Airlines and I was customer service

as I worked at the ticket counters and stuff. And I did bar mitzvahs. And then when did you get into comedy? I got into comedy at like 16, but I had stopped doing comedy when I was 18 because I got emancipated and I needed a place to live. And comedy was only giving me like $10 a show, $25. It's not enough to pay rent.

What do you mean you got emancipated? I was in foster care. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So 16, 17? 16, 17, I was doing stand-up. And at 18, I got emancipated. So...

There it is. So then I stopped doing stand up for a while who were your idols for stand up? who'd you model yourself after? I modeled myself after Tiffany Haddish darling no come on you must have little pieces of different people I had people that I really liked

you always take pieces of different people and they form whatever your style is I mean at first when I first started I was like super into Jim Carrey so I was like very physical yeah i'm still very physical with my comedy i guess um i was very into bill cosby very into richard pryor lucille ball lenny bruce uh red red uh red skeleton uh oh yeah yeah like old school comics Charlie Chaplin like and then like

Bernie Mac and Cedric the Entertainer and and then Dave Chappelle was coming I started noticing that

guy then around then and yeah what's the best kind of club to play big big place

small place medium place what's your dream kind of club to play big place small place medium place what's your dream like venue I like you know 1500 to 2000 seater oh

that's like you played like arenas too right I did an arena once it didn't work out so good why I wasn't ready

you did like was it like 15,000 people yeah I think it was more than that. Jesus. It was with Bruce Bruce. I opened up for Bruce Bruce. Yeah, I wasn't ready.

That was a long time ago. That was like 10 or 12 years ago. Now you can do arenas. Yeah. Easy. Arenas. Arena. Let's do a football stadium.

I don't know. Soccer fields. Has any comedian done a football stadium? Yeah, Kevin.ina, let's do a football stadium. I don't know. Soccer fields. Has any comedian done a football stadium? Yeah, Kevin. Oh, that's right. He did it in Philly. And sold out and did three of them. Sold out three football stadiums.

I don't know how you could watch comedy from like the top row and the upper deck in a football stadium. But obviously you can because he sold out. Yeah, he sold it out. That's crazy. What did he say about it after? I don't know. I can't even imagine doing that for 80,000 people.

I didn't ask because I was jealous a little bit. You were? Yeah, just a little bit. Do a football stadium. No. You can open the new LA stadium when it opens. Yeah, when that, yes, when that happens, yes. That's going to be awesome.

I'll be the first comedian ever to perform at the new stadium in Inglewood. Let's talk about daily fantasy. I'm sure you have major regrets about your season long fantasy team. Like Tom Brady, who had seven points for me this week, 7.85 points. Come on,

Tom Brady. I know you're 41. So you gotta step it up. Fantasy is very important. I'm excited to be playing at FanDuel this year. At FanDuel, you get the excitement of researching and building your team every week. You get the excitement of joining their survivor pool

and then losing because Minnesota lost to Josh Allen, which I experienced on Sunday. FanDuel has never been more fun or more easy. The place to play if you're not a fantasy expert, FanDuel is something for everyone. More ways to win than ever before, like their Gridiron Pick'em Contest. Every week, free. Pick winners, no spreads. 10K split them on

the top pickers. My favorite way to play Daily Fantasy. As you know, a single entry. I like knowing who I'm going against. I'm going against one person who has one lineup, not one person who has 100. This week's spike contest, only $5 to enter with a 100K prize pool. First place is 10K.

Join this week's spike contest. Play against me at fanduel.com slash BS. New users get a $20 bonus when they make their first deposit on FanDuel. Come play with me right now. FanDuel.com slash BS. Are you an LA sports fan? Am I an LA sports fan?

Yeah. I mean, I'll go to a Laker game in a minute. Like wear a jersey level or not really? No, I don't have any jerseys. Because LeBron's on the Lakers. If you bought me one, I'd wear it. Well, they'd give you one. They would put you courtside.

I'd wear it. I'd wear like a dress. Put a belt around it. Give me some little Timberland heel boots, you know, with Laker colors. And walk around with my back arched and my booty shaking a little bit. Yep. And I'll give a little side boob too, a little side boob. Side boob's good on TV when you're courtside.

A little side boob. Yeah. side boob. Side boob's good on TV when you're courtside. Little side boob. Yeah. Have you met LeBron? No. He's on the Lakers now. I don't know if you're aware. I'm aware. Okay.

I'm aware he's on the Lakers. I'm also aware that he's a school owner. I'm aware of that. And he's also a producer. Yes, he is. I'm aware of that. He's doing Space Jam 2.

You're probably gonna get roped into that. I don't want to. That's cute. Do voice work for like a week. I'll do the voice work. I'll do like one of the cartoon characters or something like that. I want to do his. I think he got the Madam C.J. Walker story.

I want to do that. I want to be something in that. What's that? I don't know that story. You don't know about Madam C.J. Walker? I don't know. What's the story going to be about? I'm going to throw this hot tea on you. Yeah, let's do it. Madam C.J. Walker. You don't know about Madam C.J. Walker? I don't know. What's the story going to be about? I ought to throw this hot tea on you.

Yeah, let's do it. Madam C.J. Walker. Give me some tea. Madam C.J. Walker. Let me spill it. Madam C.J. Walker is the first African-American woman to be a multimillionaire in the United States of America. She created all kinds of hair products.

So like while you over here talking about, I like your hair, you know, I got some little gel in here that on my edges from Madam C.J. Walker. The press and comb she sold that do you know what a press and comb is? Yes. You just lied? I know what a press and comb is. What's a press and comb? No, because you

every time you look at me suspiciously it makes me uncomfortable. But the way you said yes, I can tell you're lying. Press and comb. You press it and you comb it. No, I don't know what a press and comb is. You press it and you comb it. It's a press and comb. A press and comb is a metal comb that you put on fire to heat it up to a certain temperature,

and then you run it through your hair, and it makes your hair straight. Oh, my daughter does that. I didn't know it was called a pressing comb. We call it Zoe Burns Her Hair. She probably has a flat iron. She has a flat iron. Yeah. How is that different than a pressing comb?

Because a pressing comb looks like an actual comb, but it's made out of metal. I think she has that too. My daughter has like super thick hair that she straightens out all the time. You think she got a pressing comb?

I think she has all this stuff. I stay out of it. I don't want to know what she's doing with her. She got an oven? Nah, I don't know about that. Because you know,

you put the pressing comb in an oven. No, she doesn't have that then. It's a single individual oven. If there's no oven, she doesn't have that. You put it in there and then you let it in there.

So this sounds like a more advanced version of The Flatiron. Oh, it's the original version of The Flatiron. Okay. So this lady invented that and some other things. It became a millionaire. And now they're making a movie about her. Starring Tiffany Haddish. Produced by LeBron James. This sounds great.

I don't necessarily want to star in it. I just want to be a part of it. I want to be in there some kind of way. I don't necessarily want it. I think we found your next movie. I don't want to star in it. I just want to be a part of it. I want to be in there some kind of way. I bet they would have you. You should get in on that Space Jam though. They're just throwing around giant checks for that. Really? Just take a check for like a week.

Talk to, do a couple of voices. I haven't heard anything about this. Yeah, they just announced it. Oh, when? Today? Last week. Last week? You know, I don't know concept of time

but i think it was last week what's the oath what's that movie the oath is a movie about this family who is living in a time where we have a a new president who is trying to make everyone sign this pledge of allegiance, this oath. Oh, I saw the trailer for this. This is good. This is one of the movies I went to. Yeah, and everybody's not necessarily feeling that pledge of allegiance. And my husband, who's played by Ike Barinholt, is definitely not feeling it. And he's like, we're not signing it.

We're not going to do this. And it gets to the point where they start taking people out of their homes that don't sign it and putting them in like some kind of camp or whatever

they disappear so I wonder where they got this idea some people come to our house right and they try to

take my husband but we not playing that we don't play that so it sounds like a cousin of the purge but like a little more sophisticated something like that the whole movie takes place in one place We don't play that. So it sounds like a cousin of the purge, but like a little more sophisticated.

Something like that. The whole movie takes place in one place. And we, yeah, we don't play that. What was it like to be married to Ike? It was nice being married to Ike. How many onscreen husbands have you had? I've had four. And then Tracy Morgan on the TV show.

Tracy Morgan's not my Morgan on the TV show. Tracy Morgan's not my husband on the TV show. Tracy Morgan is my baby daddy. But I'm married to a white man on that show. I'm married to Josh. Are you really? Yes. I'm married to Ryan Gaul on that show.

You got that job before Girls Trip took off, right? Before it came out, yeah. And now how long are you tied to a TV show? I don't know. I didn't read the contract. Did you get a press and comb in the contract at least? No, I didn't get a press and comb, but I did get a check. And that's the only part I looked and said, wait, how much? Okay.

Because I noticed when they did the posters for season two, you were a lot more prominently involved in the season two poster. On the billboards. There's a season two? Well, you did a second season, didn't you? But they already got those posters out on the billboards. There's a season two? Well, you did a second season, didn't you? There, but they already got

those posters out? The billboards. You know how they put those billboards in LA? Yeah, for season one. Oh, Emmy voting.

Yeah, that's what it was. Oh, the Emmy voting posters. Oh, I didn't see those. You were prominently involved in those.

That's funny, but I didn't see those. I didn't see those. So then whatently involved in those. That's funny. But I didn't see those. I didn't see those. So then what happened? I feel like I was very prominent in the original promotions. You were more prominent as it went along. Because initially it was like, this is a Tracy show. And now it's like a Tracy and Tiffany show.

It's still Tracy's show. It's Tracy's show. No, you're on it though. Yeah, but it's his show. You're a big star right now. It's Tracy's show. He's still Tracy's show. It's Tracy's show. You're on it though. Yeah, but it's his show. You're a big star right now. It's Tracy's show. He's a producer. All right.

Now I know your cues to move on. Took a half hour. You will learn. What's it been like to date since you became super famous? I haven't really been on a date. Do you get asked out? I have been getting asked out. Are people afraid to ask you out? Because you became super famous? I haven't really been on a date. I have been getting asked out. Are people afraid to ask you out because

you're so famous they don't think you're available? I don't think so. An older gentleman asked me out who's a lawyer. He made sure he let me know that several times and even sent me his full resume and

yeah, I didn't have time. I didn't have time. Who else asked me out? Are there any things that you rule out? Does somebody have to be a certain height? No. I don't care how tall you are. It doesn't matter.

The shorter, the better. How about age? It doesn't matter. I think it'd be 80,. that's fine 25 gotta be over 25 25 fair over 25 foreign would you date a foreigner yeah definitely yeah yeah how old would you go would you go over 60 yeah Yeah. So everyone's on the table. This is great. Yeah, 25 up.

So if you filled out one of those dating services, you would just check every question you check? I'd be like 25 up. Yes. You know, got to have a job.

Your job's good. Or a career of some sort. Some sort of income. Because you did another actor? Good credit score. Because you did another actor? I don score. Because you did another actor? I don't know. It feels like competitive.

I mean, sure. But I have a vagina. Right. He would have a penis. What's the competition? I don't see the competition in that. I think actors compete against each other. Well, why?

I would be going for girl parts. He'd be going for boy parts. But if you were more successful than he was, maybe he would have an issue with it. Well, then he's insecure. You're like, I got a lead role in this movie. And he's like, I just got rejected for Law and Order, the seventh part. I'm going to make us mac and cheese.

I'll be like, make the mac and cheese, baby. You're going to look like you can't pour it on your computer. I would probably get him a job if he's an actor. Smart. Get him a job in my movie.

I like how you did that. Hey, let's talk about all the great podcasts on the Ringer podcast network. You know what? Let's just do the sports ones. God, we have some

good sports ones. Against All Odds, Cousin Sal gambling. Every week, if you like gambling, try Cousin Sal Against All Odds. Dual Threat with Ryan Rosillo. Football every Tuesday night. College, pro, opinions, hot takes. He comes in hot, that Rosillo.

Check that out. Check out One Shiny Podcast is back. Titus and Tate. Tate is in some remote location taping it this week. God knows where he is. Ringer FC, soccer, shack house, golf, my podcast. The JJ Reddick podcast. He's not even on social media anymore,

but you know what he has? A podcast for the Ringer Podcast Network. The Masked Man Show, wrestling with David Shoemaker and a variety of characters. The Ringer NBA Show, back in full swing. We even, I think, have a name for Kevin O'Connor and Chris Vernon on

Tuesdays. And then the MLB Show, which when are you going to listen to it more than during the baseball playoffs? And then, of course, Ringer NFL, Maison Clark on Sundays, GM street on Mondays, D&C football on Tuesdays, Maison Clark on Thursdays.

And then our giant football Friday extravaganza with GM street. And then a little D&C football dessert right at the end of it. Check all that stuff out on the ringer podcast network, not to mention all of our pop culture stuff and all the other great things we have the ringer podcast network. Network, not to mention all of our pop culture stuff and all the other great things we have, The Ringer Podcast Network. So what's up for the next year for you?

The next year is full. Just more projects. Special, gotta do the one hour special. What's the one hour special? Comedy? Showtime? Special. Netflix? What is it? Comedy events. Netflix, yes. And so we got to get that going.

So I'm doing a bunch of tour dates. Do you have writers for that or you write the whole thing yourself? I've been writing myself and then I'll have some writers like go in and like, you know, arrange it. What makes this,

what do you think would make this flow better? You know. And then what? And then shoot it. And then what? And then shoot it. And then, oh, some more movies. Like three more movies. You can try to do dramas. You can do something serious.

Did it already, baby. What was it? It's called The Kitchen. It's coming out next year. The Kitchen? Mm-hmm. What's that about? It's about, it's a gangster movie about hell's Kitchen taking place in the 70s.

Oh, you went backwards. Yeah, we went backwards to the 70s. And we are three women married to three Irish mobsters. And they go to jail. And then we take over their business. What kind of hair do you have going on in this movie? What kind of hair do I have? What 70s haircut do you have?

It's just a nice little press and curl. Press and curl, okay. A press and curl. She can hear, she can listen to us talk about different hair. What else do we have? The press and curl? You got the press and curl, you got the bob, you got

the beehive, you got the roller set, you got, but I only had a press curl. Well, I guess it was a roller set because my hair was in rollers. Yeah. How much press are you doing

for this Kevin Hart movie? A lot. Late night shows? Yes. Did Louis overwork you? I caught you early while you stole energy. It wasn't Louis. It's not caught you early it wasn't Louis

it's not Louis it's fine Louis actually protected me a lot I doubt that the studio is trying to overwork me which I'm fine with because we're making money but a girl's gotta sleep

and a girl does need to date I'm gonna try I'm gonna try to make scheduling'm going to try. I'm going to try. I'm going to try to make scheduling on like one date a month. We'll see. Like on a weekend or like a Wednesday? On a day off. I don't think they need to promote this movie that much.

I know they're going to make you do it and they don't think that way, but I think people will see this. I think people will see it. There are two people that everybody seems to like. They promoted, how they promoted Girls Trip like really big. They went all out for that.

And then look, it was the first all black female comedy to make that kind of money. Who have you stayed in touch with from that movie? Everybody. Everybody? Well, not the whole cast, but all the girls. Girls Trip 2? We talk about it all the time Girls Trip 2 we talk about it all the time

hopefully that happens that should happen it better I mean I would love for it to happen they didn't option like where they

you're forced to do the sequel as soon as they snap their fingers you have control I mean no that's good

make them make them pony up for that one they should Girls Trip 2 should happen yes I think you should

every day on your podcast talk about it first I have to find you a boyfriend so you're not sleeping on the 25 pound blanket every night okay

and an Emmy I have the Emmy next to me too you need a warm body with some arms and legs yeah I got the Emmy and a weighted blanket he might like the weighted blanket if he can handle me under that weighted blanket that's a strong way would you keep the weighted blanket. If he can handle me under that weighted blanket,

that's a strong way. Would you keep the weighted blanket with the guy? Yeah. Then he got to be on top of it. He's weighted down. Where are you putting the Emmy? It's in the bed next to me. It's really in your bed?

It's in the bed. I thought you were kidding. No, it's in the bed. Yeah. Did we hit everything, Lewis? Lewis wants to talk about Nobody's Fool. Yeah, Nobody's Fool is a movie coming out November the 12th or the 2nd. When's it coming out?

The 2nd. November the 2nd. Tyler Perry. Tyler Perry movie. Yeah, we shot that movie. That movie is really funny. It's about two sisters. And one's fresh out of jail.

And the other sister is getting catfished. And the one that's out of jail and the other sister is getting catfished and the one that's out of jail is like she's not letting that I'm not letting nobody hurt my sister and um yeah I really like it a lot I just saw it and it made me laugh so hard who's the other sister uh Tika Sumter oh yeah and or something no I've mess her name up. I feel so bad about that. Tika Sumter. I said it wrong. Sumter. Sumter.

Yes. She's the best. We had a lot of fun. We laughed a lot. And my favorite part of the whole movie is, like, it looks so good. And we shot it in 10 days. And I only worked 7 out of the 10 and it looks like it was shot over a long

period of time how many days was it? 10 days give me uh before we go give me advice for my 13 year old daughter advice for your 13 year old daughter? yeah try to keep it clean I know you won't I would advise her okay 13 year old daughter? Try to keep it clean. I know you won't.

I would advise her. Okay. Good advice for a 13 year old girl is to know to take a bath once a week. That's great advice. We tell her that. I can take a shower every day, but she needs to take a bath once a week, especially going through puberty and like the stress of everything and like learning your body and it's like changing and transforming. And it it's like this is the most stressful time of her entire existence

is yeah the teenage years it's like the hardest because everything is changing you have no control over anything like you don't have any control over your body transforming like she's metamorphosizing yeah so i would say to relax like an alien yeah like a straight up alien she's like boobs like butt like like so i would tell her to take a bath once a week i'd settle for once a month we can't get her she'd be more relaxed yeah that's good i'm sure she's like kind of like going through them emotions and stuff. One minute she loves you, the next minute she can't stand you. We've done pretty well so far, but yeah, it's definitely been surprising.

A couple of the mood swings. She plays sports, though, so I think when people are on teams, it's a little better. Yeah, well, she's getting out a lot of the frustration and the energy through that. By the time she gets home, she's probably really tired. And if she plays sports, there's probably really tired. Yeah, yeah. And if she plays sports, there's even more reason to take a bath at least once a week to relax her muscles and stuff. That the whole family agrees on. Yeah.

But she doesn't like to take baths at all? No. She doesn't shower? She showers. Okay, good. Yeah, but she's a 13-year-old. She probably don't feel like it. Yeah.

Well, it's the whole thing. I'm so busy. Yeah, I'm so busy. I watched Where the Sun Don't Shine. She's done four hours of practice. I yeah I'm so busy I just I watched where the sun don't shine I'm good four hours of practice I have to do homework

I don't have time blah blah blah no she should like on the weekend but she should take a shower every day yeah that's exactly

my advice is wash your ass every day yeah thank you on the weekends take a bath and put some baking soda in the water

and keep your pH right okay this is great yeah weekends, take a bath and put some baking soda in the water and keep your pH right. Okay. This is great. Yeah. Parenting advice. I like it. Well, now I'm going to make her listen to this, so now she'll do it.

Yeah. Like Tiffany Haddish told you. Yeah. Tiffany Haddish said, put half a pound of baking soda in your bath water. Why baking soda? I don't get that part. Baking soda helps with your pH balance and it makes your skin really soft. And if you have injuries it helps to heal faster

like it's just and it kills parasites, bacteria and all that stuff. Is this proven or is this like your old wives tale? Proven.

Proven. Proven. Okay. Alright. Good luck with everything. Proven like a Peruvian. It was nice to hang out and talk with you.

Nice to hang out and talk with you too. I'll work on finding somebody better than a 25 pound blanket for you. Okay. I appreciate that. I'll coordinate with Lewis out and talk with you. Nice to hang out and talk with you too. I'll work on finding somebody better than a 25-pound blanket for you. Okay. I appreciate that. I'll coordinate with Lewis.

Coordinate with Lewis. If I hear any single guys that I think have potential for you, I'll pass them on. Yeah. Make sure they got good credit. They got to give a job. Got to have good credit. That's the main thing. Good credit.

Yeah. What's good credit to you? Good credit? I don't know. What is it? Do you know what the good credit is? I have good credit, so I don't know. What's your credit score? You know your score?

It's impeccable. I pay my bills on time. You got an A50? I don't know. You don't know what your score is? Why would I know? I pay everything on time. That's the problem. That's the problem right there. You don't know what your grown-up report card is. Your credit score is your grown-up report card.

It tells people where you're at in life, what you're doing with yourself i've graduated from it my credit's impeccable no you graduate when you like 80 and you have a place to retire in money and not eating cat food yeah that's when you graduate i i honestly don't know my credit score i think we've we've done and I honestly don't know my credit score. I think we've done. You should know that. Didn't we do a credit score sponsor? I should have looked it up then. I know my credit score.

I'll look it up. Well, Kyle, you have to know yours. See, young people know. I knew it when I was 20 years ago. You should know it. I'm disappointed in you. What do you think I'm going to find out? I'm so disappointed in you.

I'm going to find it out. That's like saying you don't know your social security number. Well, I know my social security number. Or like you don't know your birthday. What? You don't know your birthday. But if I know it's good, why do I have to know what it is? You think you know it's good.

What if somebody is stealing your identity and messing it up? That's not happening. How do you know? It's not happening. Sounds like a plot for one of your next movies. I'm just saying, you never know. He thought his credit score was fine. You need to be checking your score.

Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to check my score. I'm going to tell Lewis what it was, and then he's going to tell you. It needs to be a good score. So basically, any dude you bring my way, it needs to be over 700. Over 700? You said 850. You said 850 before.

Why'd you drop it? 850 is an excellent score. You said you had the highest score. You said you had an excellent score. But you'll take 700. Top of the line. I asked you if it was 850. But for you.

But 700 is a great, is an excellent. That's good. 700 to 850. Holler at your girl. Okay. Because that means you could buy a house. You could take care of things. If stuff fall off, you can get some credit.

So you meet a great guy, but he's like at $664. No, thank you. He's out? No, thank you. No, thank you. Get your shit together. Come back when your shit's together. And you can fix that.

You can go get a Target card, a Sears card, buy something, pay it off over the course of six months. Bam, your credit score is back up. Now come holler at your girl. and you can fix that. You can go get a Target card, a Sears card, buy something, pay it off over the course of six months. Bam, your credit score is back up. Now come holler at your girl. But you're doing well. You don't, you can take a risk. This could be a good risk for you.

I need a responsible man. Responsible. That's what your credit shows show me. You know, if you had a regular job especially government ones you know what they do they check your credit yes

see if you're responsible why are you coming up in my organization I need to know you know how to take care of business okay are you gonna start

do you have a production company now yes are you gonna start producing stuff and doing business. Okay. Are you going to start, do you have a production company now? Yes. Are you going to start producing stuff and doing the whole thing? Yes. Or are you already doing that? I'm producing things.

You're up to stuff. I'm up to stuff. Okay. If you come work for my company, I'm going to run your credit. Just so you know. Oh, now this is like a job interview? I might get hired by you?

You might get hired. I might. This would be great. I might bring you under the She Ready production umbrella. Maybe I'll be a consultant. I'm going to check your credit. Are you responsible? Okay. Tiffany Haddish, good luck

with night school. My kids will be there this weekend. Great. Great. They're looking forward to it. I look forward to seeing them. It was nice to hang out with you. It was nice hanging out with you with everything thank you for the tea alright thanks to ZipRecruiter don't forget to check them out at ZipRecruiter.com

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Get $5 off your first order. Special offer Simmons 5, like the number 5, at checkout. Enjoy free shipping every fourth order. Free subscription. Just visit Gillette Online at GilletteOnDemand.com to get started. And thanks to FanDuel. Remember, FanDuel has never been more fun or more easy. If you love daily fantasy, it's the place to play even if you're not a fantasy expert. It has something

for everyone, more ways to win than ever before, like their gridiron pick-em contest every week or the eliminator contest that I've already been knocked out of. Thank you, Minnesota. New users get a $20 bonus when they make the first deposit on FanDuel. Come play with me at fanduel.com. Back later in the week with more. Until then. I don't have feelings within. On the wayside, I'm a person never lost. I don't have feelings within.