The Bill Simmons Podcast - Tua Breaks Through, New York Wakes Up, Brady Flips Out, and Jimmy G Returns With Cousin Sal

Episode Date: September 19, 2022

The Ringer’s Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss comeback wins by the Dolphins, Cardinals, and Jets, the 2-0 Giants, the Jaguars’ blowout win vs. the Colts, Texans-Broncos, Cowboys-Bengals, Buccaneers-Saints, 49ers-Seahawks, Patriots-Steelers, and more (2:13). Then they guess the lines for NFL Week 3 (41:03), before closing the show with Parent Corner (1:19:37). Host: Bill Simmons Guest: Cousin Sal Producer: Kyle Crichton Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey, my name is Kevin Clark. I'm the host of a new football podcast called Slow News Day. I want to tell you about it. On Mondays, Lindsay Jones and I will recap the weekend of football that was, as well as look ahead to what's next. On Wednesday, the normal Slow News Day, the thing you've been watching for years, current players, current coaches, current analysts,

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We're also brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network. Hope you're checking out all of our local sports podcasts. They're all in action. The Pats off the pike with Brian Barrett. He covered the kind of feel mediocre win they had over the Steelers. What is going on with Mac Jones? He covers it.

New York, New York with John Jastrzemski feeling fantastic. Jets, Giants, they both went in the same day for the first time since 1954. He covers it. New York, New York with John Jastrzemski, feeling fantastic. Jets, Giants, they both went in the same day for the first time since 1954. He hits that. The full go with Jason Goff covering Chicago, not as excited after yet another Bears-Packers loss. And then last but not least, the Ringers-Philly special. Get ready for that one. They'll be reacting to the Eagles-Vikings game Monday night after it happened. Speaking of that, FanDuel, not just content to watch me try to win an underdog parlay this week, thanks to Tua. And if Minnesota wins tomorrow night, we hit the first million dollar picks underdog parlay winner of the year. But FanDuel

boosted Jefferson to score a touchdown with the Vikings to win on their site all the way up till Monday night's game. It is boosted up to plus 280. If you think the Vikings can win and Justin Jefferson will score a TD, which likely those two events will happen simultaneously or not at all. But go to FanDuel and check that out. Coming up on this podcast,

The Cuz, Cousin Sal. We're going to cover week two, the Sunday of comebacks, and then we're going to guess the lines for week three, and we're going to make fun of each other. It's on next, first, our friends from Pearl Jam. We'll be right back. Sunday, a couple things happened today that have not happened in a very long time, including the Browns blowing a 13-point lead with under two minutes left, which had not happened in 21 years. And I don't know if that was the weirdest game.

I don't know if it was either, even at the time, right? First of all, how dare you accuse me of not doing jumping jacks? Look at this physique. I have been working on this for many, many weeks now. Now, I don't know what to say about some of these comebacks. I saw a tweet that said teams had won 2,229 consecutive games, up 13 with less than two minutes. The Jets broke that in the Browns game you're talking about. And then teams have won 711 games, up

21 or more in the fourth quarter. The Dolphins broke that and the Cardinals rallied down from 20-0 against the Raiders. Yeah, it's like we're watching a whole different game. I think the Cardinals made history too because they had a two point conversion where Kyler ran around for 20 seconds, 21 seconds. I don't know what it was. And then

another two point conversion to tie the game where they call, the Raiders call timeout for reasons that remain unclear. Cardinals come out of that, delay a game. And Kyler's like, he's like, fine. Fourth and two,

fourth and seven. I'll make whatever it is and ends up threading the needle to A.J. Green. Goes into overtime. The Raiders get the ball over the 40-yard line, first down.

Carlson's there. They're indoors. It's like a 55-yarder's going to win it. They don't run the whole drive. Renfro fumbles for the second time in a row. Looks like he's hitting the head. They don't call it. The Cardinals are running down. I might have lost some money on that game. I might have had the Raiders' money line tied to seven of my bets today. I might have been right there with you. I think

I checked it off as a win, too, which makes it worse. You could blame me. I think the thing, when you're running around for 20 seconds, when you have 20 seconds, the ref should automatically throw a flag because you're not paying attention if there's no holding for 20 seconds. He does not. And the holding they called was in the end zone 40 yards

from where the play broke. So it's like, what the hell is that? That was a two-point conversion. You mentioned Kingsbury getting a false start after the Raiders had called the timeout, which I was like, oh my God, that's the one thing I'm going to get right this year. He's going to be the first coach fired,

except it's going to happen in week two, not week five. And not the case. Cardinals win. Raiders are not going to come in first place in the AFC West, as I predict. I was wrong about so many things. It was like I studied for three months for a final exam and got a zero.

I got nothing right. Disgusting of myself. Maybe we should be the kids that just stroll in, not having done any homework. I don't know if there would be any difference. Let's rank. So the Ravens blow that Miami game. We have the Browns blow the Jets game. And then we have the Raiders blow the Cardinals game.

Which one was the most indefensible? I'm going to go first. The Browns, it's first down. I think they're on the 11 or 12. They're up seven. It's under two minutes left. I think the Jets have two timeouts left. And now it's like just, you could kneel three times and the game's probably over.

Chubb, they let, somehow gets through. And for the first time, I'm going to say in five or six years, the running back didn't have the wherewithal to fall down before the goal line. He just runs it in. They missed the extra point. It's kind of like an uh-oh. And then you're like, oh, it's under two minutes. All of a sudden, the Jets were kicking off. I didn't even see how they scored. They scored within like five seconds with Joe Flacco. They get an onside kick. They go on down. Flacco, all of a sudden,

it's 2012 Flacco again. And the Browns lose. I actually think that was the most inexcusable because Chubb just has to fall down. The game's over. I would say inexcusable and unlikely because it was like 99.4% once they got up 14 points

or whatever it was in the last... Wasn't it higher than that? Wasn't it like 99.999? Is it higher? I don't know. Maybe it was 994. I Wasn't it higher than that? Wasn't it like 99.999? Is it, is it higher? I don't know. Maybe it was, maybe it was 994.

I know there was a four in there or something, but it's such a weird thing. Is there anything like this in sports or in life where you have to stop yourself from doing what you're supposed to do in order for your team to have a better chance of succeeding? Like you can get on Nick Chubb and I will, because you should know the rule by now, or you should know like the game is over and that's the opening. Just fall down, Nick Chubb, and I will, because you should know the rule by now, or you should know the game is over. Just fall down, Nick Chubb. Just fall down. But then again, these guys go through contract. They go through arbitration.

They always compare stats to other numbers. That's how they're paid, right? You're ranked against your peers. So it's such a weird thing, but I loved it. I love that it's the Browns. I love that their coach had his kids. Did you see that the kids were on the field? The kids were on the sidelines in the last two minutes. Even Jerry doesn't do that. That was awesome. You deserve that, Browns. Screw you, Deshaun Watson.

I will say this. The Jets aren't bad. You don't have to say that. They had receivers open a lot. And Garrett Wilson looked like he got hurt. He got pushed out. He landed on his hip.

And I was like, oh, man, can't the Jets have nice things? No. Then he came back, made the big play. But I actually thought if Flacco was a little more confident, they would have even had more points than they did. Defense was pretty solid. And I thought they really made the Browns work for it. And I was going to come out of that game going,

you know what? Impressive by the Browns. 2-0. Two hard-fought wins, but they pulled it out. And then all of a sudden, the Jets are celebrating. It was very un-Jets-like.

I think that was the most surprising thing. It was like the Browns' history trumped the Jets' history somehow. Yeah, yeah. What, the W in front of the Jets? Yeah, I agree. And I was making fun of them. Like, oh, this Joe Flacco, Garrett Wilson. It's going to be a combination for the ages. You see, yeah. What, the W in front of the Jets? Yeah, I agree. And I was making fun of them, like, oh, this Joe Flacco,

Garrett Wilson, it's going to be a combination for the ages, you see. They're like, holy crap, he did it again? Is this going to stop? And wow, Brace Hall scoring too? Like, this is amazing. But no, they'll win five or six games, but they beat the team they needed to beat, the Browns.

Yeah, true. The sneaky part of it was the Browns had a chance to get the winning field goal. They got a 59-yarder last week. Brissette had them near midfield.

They had a timeout. It felt like he was going to make a play and they were going to at least get a kick and then he screwed up and that was it. I thought that was indefensible.

Cardinals, Raiders, the Raiders offensively, they were just cruising. The Cardinals at halftime, I was ready. I wrote down in my notes, is this the worst team in the league? Kyler had checked out. Defensively, they were a mess.

It looked like it was going to be... I had a bet. I did a million-dollar picks that the Raiders were going to win between 11 and 20 points. I was like, oh, God, don't score too many points. I'm not going to win my bet. All of a sudden, they kind of turtled. They got super, I don't score too many points. I'm not going to win my bet. All of a sudden, they kind of turtled. They got super, I don't know, conservative.

Like Adams was barely involved in that game. All of a sudden, the Cardinals just had the ball, it seemed like, for a half hour straight. At one point, Carr didn't have the ball for a half hour. And you could see the Raiders wearing out. And Kyler, as usual, as soon as they went schoolyard with him, he's unstoppable. And they were down 16

and I started to have that uh-oh moment. Didn't you? Because we had a lot of Raiders money. Yeah, because they couldn't get the ball back either. Didn't they show a stat? They hadn't had an offensive play for 49 minutes, one of the longest stretches. It's not like a Super Bowl Sunday where Lady Gaga did an hour and a half

duet with Tony Bennett during halftime. Like, no, it was just regular football. Yeah. They couldn't get on offense, but even so, like with all the nonce, Oh,

like Crosby, like, what do you do? Do you rush somebody? Do you just rush somebody? Like he's better off when he's moving. Right. Cause when he's in the pocket and he's throwing,

he's as he's, he's I think lower third. Really? I really do with Kyla Murray, but when he's moving he's one of the top five or four or six right in there so do you do you rush Max Crosby because he's one of the best in the game or do you just get back I don't even know what the hell to do with him anymore I don't even know who to compare Kyler to he's almost like really more an NBA player than

an NFL player when you watch him where he's like watching this NBA star that just doesn't have it. It doesn't seem like he even cares that he doesn't have it. You know, you're, you're at the game, you're kind of watching them from the stands and they're three for 15 and you're like, this is not playing defense. This guy give a shit. And then all of a sudden they turn it on, they start making shots. And then it's, it becomes like a little Kyrie ish where it just, you're watching going, Oh my God, how do you stop this?

And it wasn't like he had Marquise Brown, AJ green, some dude, Dorch. Yeah. Where did Dorch, Dorch, Dorch.

I don't know if Dorch has a first name receiver. Yeah, no, he doesn't. Yeah, that was it. And, uh,

and arts and he's just running around and he can buy himself five seconds, six seconds. And if you try to grab him, he squirms away and he's out. And all of a sudden he's buying three more seconds. And at some point it was like, Jesus, they might actually, and then they won. Yeah. Uh, grandpa Kyler, tell us about the, the pass catchers you had on your

team. Oh, there was Dorch and there was Ertz and Ertz and Dorch. And old man AJ.J. Green who dropped like four big passes. What the hell? But I will say from a gambler's perspective, maybe we should start

looking at these teams that were 15-1 to win in the fourth quarter. And that's what the Cardinals were. 15-1. Well, I texted you at halftime. They were... They were...

It was 20-0 at halftime. And the line for the second half was even. Yeah. That's how dead the Cardinals looked. It was even.0 at halftime, and the line for the second half was even. That's how dead the Cardinals looked. It was even. You could have just had any version of under 20, and you win with a Cardinals bet. I didn't think about doing it.

Did you? No, no, I didn't. Because you just figure you want to cash in on your money line. Paulie's not worried about hedging at all. Yeah. Disgusting. I came away from that game kind of disgusted by both teams

because I thought the Cardinals were a hot mess and then they just caught... Kyler just got hot like an NBA player and he saved them, but they certainly didn't look well run.

They didn't look well managed. It was impressive they fought back, but the Raiders, I thought, were just so bizarre game management-wise, offensively, were just so bizarre game management wise, offensively. I just didn't understand anything they were doing, especially in the OT.

And now they're 0-2. So we have that. And then the third one, the third comeback was Baltimore, which I think I'm going to give the most of a free pass to. Their defense is already crushed by injuries. You have these two fast guys in Miami, Waddle and Tyreek, which as I've watched now two full games of them, it's a little bit unlike anything we've had before. And in the second half, these guys are flying around. They're running four 240s all over the place. And all of a sudden they were just wide open all the time. And it just, I felt like the Ravens ran out of gas. Didn't you? I've watched Waddle on my bench for the last two weeks. I've gotten a kick out

of that too. I don't know what the hell I'm doing there. The thing with the Ravens though, this is why you might consider it the most disappointing. Their offense is built to never blow leads. They should be able to run the clock out better than anyone. Now, I understand

Dobbins didn't play, but between Lamar and whatever you want to put together with Justin Hill and Kenyon Drake and whoever else is getting the carries, I just feel like they should be able to... I mean, is Dobbins that big a difference? If they have him, they definitely run it out. It's not a problem. And Tua is not a legend, and we're not sending him to Canton, Ohio just yet. Well, the two teams that had the we couldn't run it out offenses today

were them and the Rams. And that was one of the reasons I had the Falcons. I had them like in an alt line plus 11 and a half because I was like, what do the Rams do even if they're up 17? Every running back they have is like a third string running back on 27 other teams. So how do they run the clock out?

And it's basically what happened. Atlanta was way closer to winning that game than I think any of us were prepared for. They threw a little alley-oop in the end zone and the receiver kind of mistimed his jump and Jalen Ramsey kind of mossed him, went over his head. But I don't know, that was sitting there. I think with Miami, we're going to have to play a game called, do you believe? Do you believe in Tua?

I've been a pretty big Tua critic and my case over and over again was like, I don't see it. He has to show me. Show me what makes you different. Show me the guy from college. In the first half, it looked like he was on his way

to maybe getting benched by like week four. He guy from college. In the first half, it looked like he was on his way to maybe getting benched by like week four. He was bad. Two picks. Second half, not only were his receivers open, but there were a couple two-a moments.

Like he had that spin move that he used to have in college. Spun out of traffic that one time. There was some athleticism. He was hitting guys on a dime. And I don't know. It did feel like something was different. And now I'm a little more

ready to believe that he might be decent. Oh, I'm definitely a little more ready. But can I see one more game? Am I allowed to say I need to see one more game or am I just an idiot fan? I don't know what you would call me. Let me see one more game. I know he had six touchdown passes. I know it was a 28 would call me. Let me see one more game. I know he had six touchdown passes. I know it was a 28-3 comeback. But sometimes these games happen. Although the stat I read you shows that these never happen.

Right. It was a complete fluke. Yeah. But, you know, when Gusecki, they're down 21 points, and he's, like, doing a dance all the way back to the sideline after the score. I'm like, what the hell? What is going on with these? And don't forget, it was 35-14. It probably could have been worse. Didn't the Ravens fumble at the one-yard line, up 7-0, and then the Dolphins came right back and scored,

and then the Ravens put it on them before blowing the lead, but I don't know. This might be one of those. Again, this is what happens with week two, right? People are like, I'm going to hang back. I'm not going to bet a lot. I'm going to see what week one gives us, and then I'm going to be an expert based on week one. And we just weren't. The Dolphins just didn't show me nearly this much

against the Patriots. So just as much problems in the secondary, I think, as the Ravens. Or the Patriots have a great defense. Maybe. I mean, the way they shut down Trubisky, he's never seen him struggle like that. Oh, no, I've seen it 20 times. Here. That might be it too. I mean, the way they shut down Trubisky, he was, never seen him struggle like that. Oh no, I've seen it 20 times.

Here's the thing with Tua. I felt like the poise wasn't there. We talked about it on my Thursday pod compared to some of these other dudes where they,

you know, if it was within the first two seconds, it was fine. But if he was under pressure or he had to ad lib, I just didn't see it. And today was the first game that he looked like the guy

he was supposed to be in college, and there was a poise to him and a presence that was kind of what he was advertised to be before he got hurt in college. Now, I don't know whether that means there's some sort of breakthrough or the Ravens just completely fell apart and maybe we don't

give enough credit to hard it is to defend Tyreek and Waddle for an entire game. So we're going to know. But I will say I'm more receptive to the idea that you can win 11 games with Tua than I was a week ago. I guess I am too. There's a spot

I couldn't figure out. I knew there was a playoff spot for Miami or Denver and I couldn't figure out who was going to get it. Now I had since seen there too. And maybe we'll talk about since the, after the break. Yeah, we will.

But I think Miami is a playoff team. I think that the, if Tyreek and Waddle stay healthy, the, that combo is an asset in a way that I don't think a lot of teams have assets like that. Minnesota has Jefferson and Thielen. We can go down. There's probably seven teams

that they stand out for some reason. Their speed is really fucking frightening when you're betting against it or playing against it. I had the Miami Moneyline today so I was rooting for it. You did? I did. I had that for underdog I did. I had them for

underdog parlay. I had Miami and Minnesota plus 450 in million-dollar picks. Lucky. Yeah, pulled that out of my butthole. Well, listen, there's now no score that they can't come back from. So that's great in the clubhouse. So yeah, could they win 11? They won eight in a row last year, didn't they?

We probably should be believers in them. They just got a little unlucky. So today, 100%. There's nothing better than what they put up today. Kyle, turn the TikTok camera on. Uh-oh. Don't turn the TikTok camera on. Turn the little TikTok camera.

Yeah. Tyreek Hill. Tyreek Hill, great career move. If you're on Kansas city doing all this, my homes has a piece of it, right? You're in the home shadow a little bit. Yeah. Now in Miami,

it's like, Jesus, Tyreek Hill. He can even make two a good great career move. Little like, uh, our cousin Jimmy 20 years ago, leaving the man show,

getting his own late night show. Like, you know what? I don't, I don't need that Corolla guy anymore with this unibrow. I can, I can have my own show. Tyreek show. Like, you know what? I don't need that Corolla guy anymore with his unibrow. I can have my own show. Tyreek Hill, when you think like

Adams gets traded, Tyreek Hill gets traded. Now I'm confused. Devante Adams. And who was the other one that got traded? There were three receivers. Well, you know,

yeah, like Christian Kirk. Traded or like just signed? No, I guess two but I think people felt like when Adams went to Vegas and Tyreek went to Miami that Adams might have a bigger impact Tyreek's had a bigger impact it's been two weeks but

it just feels like he's completely unstoppable I don't even know what happened like they is he there on side kick because I know he he scored on a 40-yard touchdown pass. And then did the Ravens go three and out or did they turn it over when he scored on the 48? No, they stopped him. Ravens had a bad drive right after. I think

they might have gotten a first down and then got stuffed. And then boom, it was again. But at that point, it was comical. I mean, it wasn't just that he was getting hit on bombs. He was open by 10 yards alright we're gonna take a break we're gonna come back

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This episode is brought to you by Movember. The mustache is back with a vengeance. Look at Travis Kelsey. Before he rocked that Super Bowl ring, he rocked that super soup strainer. Grow a mustache for Movember. You'll do great things too. You won't win the Super Bowl, but your fundraising will support mental health, suicide prevention, and prostate and testicular cancer research. And if you don't want to grow a mustache, you could still walk or run 60 kilometers, host an event, or set your own goal and mow your own way. Do great things this November. Sign up now. Just search Movember. All right, Sal. Rapid fire. Do you believe?

Mm-hmm. Do you believe in the 2-0 Giants? All right, let me start by saying I had them at 8-9, right? So I probably thought they were going to be 1-1 at this point. I thought they were going to be

a little better than everybody else did. But let's remember, they were at the same position with Joe Judge. They loved him. He was the savior. Parcells could learn a lot from Joe Judge. And then

they fell in hate with him faster than anybody else. And they probably could have lost to Carolina. Let's see them beat a good team like the Dallas Cowboys next week. They're going to win. I don't want to say too much bad about them because they're going to be 3-0 after they beat my team next Monday night.

But I don't believe they're a playoff team, but I still think they're about 8-9. Is that fair? Yeah, they might be a tiny bit better than that. We'll see. A couple things. Dayball looks like the best coach hire of the year. There's a confidence and a swagger to him

in the sideline that it has to be specific to the coach, especially compared to last year when they had Joe Judge, who I think is now a towel boy with the Patriots. Yeah, I think so.

But there's definitely like a confidence to him. Like, Daniel Jones stinks. So how are we supposed to believe? What are we believing in then? If we were ranking the 32 starting quarterbacks,

he would be one of the five in the bottom, right? It would be him and Trubisky and a couple others. Yeah, five or seven. And they were able to navigate around him because Barkley's so good. I was really impressed by their pass rush. I thought they were swarming around and I thought it felt like the Panthers

were going to steal the game. I thought Baker actually played pretty well. He was under duress a lot, but I was really impressed by the D and by the fact that the Giants can move the chains when they need to. Yeah, it was a pretty complete game. And it's a wonder when you watch a game that Barkley and McCaffrey are in and neither of them get injured, like, wow, this is really something else. This should put this in the archives. But I think that's the problem with the Giants. I always expect something bad to happen injury-wise or falling apart

or the team starting to hate the coach. So I pumped the brakes a little bit on this 2-0 Giants team, although there are winnable games. There are definitely winnable games on that schedule if you look at them. And when we talked about their over-under, we talked about that was one of the cases for them was the schedule. And then you get a break like Dak getting hurt. And now they catch

Dakless Cowboys in week three. But listen, I thought last week I liked the Panthers. I thought they could have beaten the Browns. Browns hit a 59-yarder. This week they were in the game. It was 16-16. The Giants moved the chains. They moved down. They got

the go-ahead field goal and they got some stops. We watched the game with my father-in-law, nephew Kyle's 83-year-old grandfather, Jim Creighton, who was in the massage chair. We set him up.

We made him a coffee and we had the four TVs. He had the Giants, the closest one. And for three quarters, we were laughing because I'm concentrating on all the other games, but I'm kind of had the Giants, the closest one. And for three quarters, we were laughing because I'm concentrating on all the other games, but I'm kind of monitoring Carolina Giants. And then every once

in a while, you would just hear my father-in-law be like, oh God, oh no. And it was always like some sort of Daniel Jones related catastrophe or terrible play. And Kyle and I were laughing like first graders in the back of class. We thought it was so funny. This poor 83-year-old man just being tortured by another Giants quarterback. And then all of a sudden they pulled it out.

It was amazing. I was excited. It was something. It's good for them. Honestly, they're in every game in the NFC East as long as Saquon Barkley is healthy.

And you can give them 20 carries like they did. Well, we have two divisions out of the eight that are like the... I don't know. Pick a team. They could probably win it, right? and you can give them 20 carries like they did. Well, we have two divisions out of the eight that are like the, I don't know, pick a team. They could probably win it, right? AFC South, NFC East.

AFC South, I had Jacksonville. I bet them before the season, 9-1. They were up to 13-1 before week two. And I almost put more on it. And then I'm like, I'm going to put more money on Jacksonville that's insane but now after week two I think I like them the most out of any team in the AFC South. Do you believe

in the Jags? Plus 340. Yeah do you believe in the Jags? I believe in them in that division. I talked about 8 and 9. I really think 8 and 9 can win that AFC South. I think both Souths are lousy to be honest with you. I know the Bucs prevailed and so Bucs have a good defense though. I think the Bucs prevailed. Bucs have a good defense, though. I think the Bucs defense is legit.

Yeah, they definitely do. But they're going to struggle to score, I think, for three quarters every game, it seems. But I guess the Saints defense is decent, too. But back to the AFC South, the Colts are still favored at plus 140. That Matt Ryan is just... You know, like, I don't know how your, your father-in-law, like he is like, did wake me when they, the Matt Ryan pick happens like, oh yeah, it just

did. You don't have to, you don't have to stay up too late. It's like, he has to get it out of his system, Matt Ryan. I don't know if you saw that first pick, but it was so bad. And I know they're down Pittman and everything, but, um, you don't even let Jonathan Taylor get going in a game like that. They were disgusting, and I think your Jaguars are every bit as good. I don't know. Maybe they do jump up

if Tennessee gets slaughtered tomorrow against the Bills. Yeah, you're right. Matt Ryan, it's like going to any event with my dad, and when you get there, my dad sees any men's room. He's like, I'm just going to... I don't even really have to go, but I'm just going to go to get this done now. That's Matt Ryan. He's just like, I'm just going to go to get this done now.

That's Matt Ryan. He's just like, I'm just going to throw this now. He had a tip later. I think Indy's terrible. I don't think that's a good team. Now, I know they didn't have Pittman today, and you could make a case like, oh, they didn't have any receivers, but I don't know. As bad as Carson Wentz is, it's been only two weeks, and I can tell you with certainty, they got the short end of that stick

giving up Carson Wentz for Matt Ryan. Bizarre. Jim Irsay came in and was just like, get this guy out of here. I would rather have neither, I guess would be my answer. I think with

Indy, that's the one I thought Tennessee was going to be worse. And then we talked about this when we did AFC Overrunners. I went under with Tennessee and Indy and went over with the other two. The Jags were like the great unknown. What's going to happen with that team? Is the Urban

Meyer to Peterson? You watch today, they move in the chains. I thought Lawrence looked great. Kirk, who everybody made fun of that contract was like 80 million, but for 40 million, it's fine. They just paid a tax for him. He's making plays. Yeah, two touchdowns.

It looks like they might have done okay with the Walker taking him first that had all the makings of an Anthony Bennett NBA situation. Right. To me, the Jaguars, they should be even money to win the AFC South. I would take them over any of the other teams. I don't go against you.

But, you know, I always look at the Texans too. Like, they were in that game against Denver. They tied the Colts a game they were winning by 20 points. Like, why couldn't they make some noise?

I know they're 0-1-1, so they're a little bit behind now. But, yeah, they're equally as bad and good, everyone in that division. But I think the upside for the Jags is biggest. You know, Mike Lombardi, our friend, as bad and good, everyone in that division. But I think the upside for the Jags is biggest. You know, Mike Lombardi, our friend, always talks about the 45-minute teams,

the 50-minute teams. The Texans, to me, are a classic 50-minute team. I don't think they have the four quarters in them, but I almost bet them in the first half to cover because I felt like, oh, they'll play one good half. And then you figure in the third quarter, they'll tail off. They didn't tail off. They were in that game.

And I guess that brings us to the next Do You Believe? Do you believe in Russell Wilson anymore? Because those Broncos fans, the second half, could you hear the audio? The fans were booing. He gets booed wherever he goes. He gets booed in Seattle. Two straight weeks of being booed. Couldn't go one game

without a booed. Yeah. There was a couple times they cut to the stands for the reaction shots and the Broncos fans looked like they were being like tortured. They could not have been more bummed out and they were winning. I think it was like 9-6 and they cut to the stands and

people just had their face in their hands. It was brutal. Well, you look Nathaniel Hackett at one point and our friend Hench was like pointing this out too. He's like, he says like, this is why I kick field goals. Look who my quarterback is. Look what I'm stuck with here. Like Russ did not have good stats at all. And a 14 for 31 to 19. I don't know. You think you didn't get that out of drew lock now? I guess it's guess it's early yet, but that was disgusting. They should pound that team after a loss. Can I defend Russ for a split second? I don't really believe this, but I just want to mention it.

They lost Tim Patrick in the preseason. They lost Judy in the first half of this game. It was basically just Sutton and just three tight ends that you've never heard of. I just don't think I continue to say this. Wilson just doesn't seem the same to me. He could throw any advanced

stat, but I'm just like, I test watching the game. He doesn't move around like he used to. You watch Kyler in that Raiders game and Kyler's just like, all right, I'm just going to have to do everything. And he's creating all kinds of plays with his legs. And I just don't see Wilson doing that anymore. Well, he doesn't. Anyone who has him in

fantasy or, you know, has bet on him over like 15 and a half rushing yards. Like, oh my God, why is he only running it twice now? It's like, well, he's 33, 34 years old. This is what happened all last year too, even when he was healthy but i think he got too much shit in the loss last monday um because it was all on hackett by the way nathaniel

change your name this is not the civil war no one's gonna ever take you seriously until you go to nate all right so nate hackett that that they had nat natty hackett something that sounds like a private eye or something. Nat Hackett sounds cool. It's like a CBS show. It's like, today I'm Nat Hackett. Right. You could hear Summerall saying, Nat Hackett.

Robert Urich is Nat Hackett. So, too much crap. Too much praise for Ross. Oh my god. He should have thrown on fourth and five. They should have let him in there. I felt like last Monday, they had the ball like 17 times inside the 10-yard line. too much praise for Ross. Oh my God, he should have thrown on fourth and five. They should have let him in there. I thought he, I felt like last Monday they had the ball like 17 times inside the 10 yard line. They had points or something.

And then today, maybe you're right. Maybe too much shit the other way, because all his receivers are down and whatever. They couldn't get going. Yeah. But I don't think I, there was a stat at one point and maybe it's changed,

but yeah, Schrager tweeted near the end of that Broncos game, the Broncos were 0-6 in goal-to-go plays. Picked up four yards total in those six plays. Yeah. Not a great sign. I... Well, they've scored 16 points in a row,

two weeks in a row. So if you're in the AFC South, sure, great. But the Chiefs are going to put up 35. The Chargers are going to put, you know, just not going to be able to hang in that division. Well, Patrick Sertan got hurt in that game too.

We had to talk about Hackett for a second. We've had all types of bad. Yeah. We've had all kinds of bad coaches, right? We've had, there's like the Brandon Staley. I'm going to just be the crazy advanced metric, go for a guy,

but then I'm going to change my mind and all of a sudden I'm not going for it and just I'm all over the map and my team does dumb stuff. And, you know, you leave that Chiefs Broncos game on Thursday and you're like that, Chargers Broncos, Chargers Chiefs, and you're like, yeah, I'm going to get this right. Chargers Chiefs. And you like, yeah, I'm going to get this right. Chargers Chiefs. And you leave that game and you're like,

the Chargers seemed like they were better. Like, you know, the Chargers always give you that feeling, right? So you have that kind of coach. You have like the hard shell,

basically, you know, flatlining on the sidelines type coach. You have the Urban Meyer clearly doesn't want to be their type coach. Nat Hackett, PI,

he had a couple pooped in his pants moments. Whoa, like for real? Like Ben's high school coach would know like, oh, the clock's running down. I should stop it. I should use a timeout there.

Or, oh, what happened last week? There's a stop it. I should use a timeout there. Or, oh, wait, we got a minute. What happened last week? There's a minute left. I probably should figure out what to do in this fourth and five now instead of 40 seconds from now. He just seems like he has deer in the headlights. He freezes. It's really weird.

Listen, you and I talk about this for 15 years. There should be a 14-year-old who's logged 2,000 hours of Madden and knows clock management. And then last minute, it's perplexing to me that these coaches still can't figure it out. They've also witnessed thousands of games and should be familiar with clock management.

But that's not my thing. I'm a defensive coordinator who now became a coach. Well, that doesn't mean anything either because even the lifers suck at this too. Even the Andy Reeds blow this. So I don't even know, as far as the clock management at the end, it's not good enough the next day to say, you know what? We should have gone for it with our $200 million quarterback.

So I don't know. And I like nothing worse than what's his name did today on Arizona Kingsbury. He gets the false start. I know we went over it already. False start after the Raiders timeout, that should kill your two-point conversion. It's fourth and eight now.

And he gets to go to the podium and puff his chest out and said, yep, I believe the team believed and that's all that matters. It's like, screw you. You got lucky. This is ridiculous already. Nat Hackett. Do you believe it? Another do you believe? Do you believe in DirecTV anymore?

You know what I do believe is going on? I think they have senioritis. I think they know they're not around next year. And whatever. Everybody paid already. So if you get the feed, you get it. If you don't, some weeks you don't. How long was it out?

I actually am dumb enough to still have the receivers. But apparently on the internet, I had a couple Jets fans who were going nuts. Yeah. That they couldn't see the Jets. Like a fun Jets team for the first time in six years. Right. And they couldn't see the game for like an hour. Most of the time, they're doing Jet fans solid by not showing their team for them.

But yeah, I think it was out an hour I have the same thing I have all the receivers so it didn't oh my god yeah yeah DirecTV they have the four box that for some reason they don't switch any of the games in the four box if it's 24-0 like which was one of the Jags game today and then they put all this

dumb shit on the side so that all the boxes are small instead of just spacing it out. So you, I, if anyone needs a new coach, it's direct TV. Can we do this?

Whoever gets it next, Amazon, whoever, they have to bring us on for, they don't have to pay us a dime. Let's just please. As conciliarious. Yeah.

Just in like, okay, I want this in this box. I want this here. And I want that. Cause by the way, Amazon was not great for me either. I had a slow jumpy feed in my office um but it was on time and then like in the uh in the living room it was 30 seconds behind like this is yeah you can't

watch a game when we do the spotify lives and it's uh people like i'm sorry i can't deal with this i gotta leave it's like that, that sucks. Please catch up. I ended up with one of the feeds that where Herbstreet didn't say anything interesting for three and a half hours. Yeah. What feed was that? I had one where his face was like, his face was really,

I can't even explain it. What was the feed where Herbstreet didn't make a point for three hours? I had that feed. Come on, that's not right. Just being honest. Cooper Rush. Cooper Rush, do you believe?

Yeah. Oh, Ewing Theory. Come on in. The committee is here. So you believe. You're into it. I don't want to misspeak here. And he's not better than Dak Prescott

and there's no way I'm saying that right now. But there's a certain calmness to him when he has to lead the team. Cooper rushed. Physically, Cooper rushed. Physically, he's not on par. And, you know, like, it's probably his field awareness

and everything else is not the same. But there is some kind of, it's not as chaotic with him as it is with Dak. And I can't even explain it. And now people are going to give me shit for saying that Cooper Rush is better than Dak Prescott. And I'm not doing that, but I was confident that he could lead them to a field goal at the end. I checked the Ewing theory qualifications and Dak checked 20 of the 20 boxes. No, it's just all of them. You haven't won anything with them.

He's overrated for what his actual impact is. And he was obviously pretty replaceable because some guy named Cooper Rush came in today and won the game for you. Not some guy. The guy. The guy, Cooper Rush. I want to say something about that.

Romo took a big swing early on when they went for it on fourth and two. He's like, you got to do that. Of course. I like this Mike McCarthy move. Cooper rush is good. He's confident. Get him in there.

He's not as bad as everyone said. When you say he's not as bad as everyone says. Yeah, it's tough. You're talking to everyone. And he converted. And that was that. But I'm in love with this defense. I mean, we gave up two touchdowns total to borrow and Brady and only one through the

air. So God bless. I mean, I have friends saying a chiefs friend, fan friend saying, wow, he reminds me of Derek Thomas. This,

uh, Micah Parsons. I'm like, no, no, no. Lawrence Taylor. Stop,

stop at Derek Thomas. We can go further than that. I love this defense. Well, as you know, I love the Bengals and their 0-2. And Joe Burrow got the absolute living shit kicked out of him.

But, I have a big but here. I can't tell if the Bengals' offensive line is terrible or not. Week 1, they go against T.J. Watt, who destroys them for the entire game and then rips his peck right at the end of the game. Week 2, they go against Parsons,

who I don't know what his final stats were, and I don't really care because it felt like he had 25 pressures in that game. He was all over the place. He was absolutely terrifying. I would never compare it to Lawrence Taylor. I think it's sacrilegious. But his impact in that game was a little, it was LTS. I will give it to you. Great.

Really just great. Just kind of glides to the quarterback. Same kind of thing. Don't forget we had like three dumb, dumb personal foul calls against us too. That drives a lot. At least two of them. And so yeah, we'll take 27. I think you're right though. Although God, they give

up sacks to everybody. They really do with a tight. Yeah, but there's three guys that there's three guys that matter in the league, right? Watt, Parsons, and Aaron Donald I think would be the three. And they played two of them in the first two weeks. Yeah.

So I want to see them against a team that doesn't have an absolute super-duper elite stud. The thing on Cooper Rush, he did have that thing where he threw a couple picks that got dropped or bounced off someone's hands or hit somebody in the helmet

Mahomes could have had four or five he had that kind of old dad playing golf hitting the slice into the tree and it bounces out in the fairway there's a little of that and I think that might be part of Cooper Rush I don't think it was a one week thing I think that's part of the package with him he'll throw a couple picks that

get dropped every game I think it's good we're not making the playoffs well you know what I'm not going to say out of the package with him. He'll throw a couple picks that get dropped every game. I think it's good. We're not making the playoffs. Well, you know what? I'm not going to say we're not making the playoffs with Cooper Rush, because then I can't take that back. 2-1 after this Giants game, baby. Let's do it. You and I could not come up with seven NFC playoff teams right now.

So, 8-9 or 9-8 could make the playoffs. Bishop, Sycamore. Yeah, I can't. You're right. I don't even know. Let's take a break. Uh,

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couple things for Guest Alliance. Usually we do an O and two team segment heading into week three. Do you know how many O and two teams are right now? Not counting Tennessee who's own one. We just mentioned the Bengals, the Raiders. I know there's some, there's a tie in there. Otherwise someone would have.

No, is that it? Panthers, Falcons. There's only four. Wow. Usually there's like eight, nine or 10 oh and two teams. In this year,

we only have four. Now we did have a tie. Out of those, it's funny, Out of those 0-2 teams, I still like the Panthers and the Bengals. I think they were in both of those games. And I think you could make excuses for each. I'm not ready to cross either of them off yet. I think Carolina came within, I don't know,

two plays being 2-0. So, not crossing them off. Well, their divisions are wacky for different reasons. I think the NFC South is subpar, right? So, that's why that's wacky. The AFC North, did they go 0-4 today? Steelers? Yes.

Ravens, Browns, Bengals. Yeah. So, they didn't really lose a game on anybody, the Bengals. Yeah. Right. Pittsburgh's bad. We don't need to talk about that game, but the Pats won. How do we not talk about your game at all?

We both knew that was going under. That's what we should have just bet, the under, and just left our way to the bank. Oh, don't worry. I did. I had a million-dollar picks bet that was Pats, Pats under, Browns minus 2.5, Browns minus two and a half, Browns under 45 and a half, and if Chubbs falls down, I win the bet.

And instead, they lose the whole thing. If Chubbs falls down. Chubbs, just fall down, Chubbs. I didn't watch much of your game, but that would have been a bad loss, right? You were up 10 at some point? Trubisky is awful. Like, we were laughing. Honestly, he's terribleubisky is awful. Like we were laughing. Honestly, he's terrible.

He's just awful. I don't mean to be mean, but he's just not a starting quarterback. And they have good receivers and he just cannot throw it to them. He kept trying to throw the ball to us. The thing that was worrisome, I think for the,

first of all, the Pats lose that game. They're probably a 4-13 team. But Mack was just not good. And I don't know what's going on with him this year. I don't know if he's taken too much of a beating just in the first

year plus two games of his career or what's going on, but he was a mess and if they lost today, it would have been because of him. The defense was good. Well, he was 21 for 35. I feel like everyone is 21 for 35 in this league. He's bad. He could have four picks.

Everybody has six points in the third quarter. I don't know. That might be the new norm. The poise thing was not there with them. It's hard to say. Without Watt, that's a game you should win by 10. Who was the first coach fired before we get to Guest Alliance? Because I would say Frank Reich is in the leader of the

clubhouse right now. Ooh, wow. You know, Frank Reich has had five different quarterbacks in his five starting years, right? Is that what it was? Yeah, and he's pushed for all of them, right? Locke, Brissett, Rivers, Wentz, and

who does he have this year? Matt Wright. And Matt, I got to get my pick out early. Get it out of the way. Hold on, guys. Let me just throw a pick and we can get the game started. A little gas here. Everyone step back. Hold on. Can you tell the safety to come up and throw some? I would say

Reich is the leader right now. You wouldn't say rule? No, because I think they were in those games. The Colts got absolutely annihilated by the Jaguars. Yeah. Well,'t say rule? No, because I think they were in those games. The Colts got absolutely annihilated by the Jaguars. Yeah. Well, they have a tie. That game was...

Yeah, well, they shouldn't even have that. I was sticking with Kingsbury, honestly. I was going to laugh and laugh and laugh, but somehow they pulled that out. But I still think they're like one and four after three weeks from now or something. And we didn't talk about Trey Lance getting hurt. He broke his ankle.

It's a bummer. We didn't even really know what was going on because we had the five games and the four TVs flip back. The cart was out. Yeah, carted off. Yeah, and you're like, oh, why is the cart out? You think it's like an offensive lineman or a tackle and then they do the close-up and it's Trey Lance.

That's not good. Broken ankle. They got Jimmy G there. This amazingly, you know, they could have waived him. They'd look like the dumbest people on the planet if he wasn't on the team, if they had traded him like Seattle. And they, from at least the short-term

championship potential standpoint, I think they're better off with Jimmy G. I feel bad for Lance, but I'm not sure he should have been starting. And the whole thing sucks how it played out, but it made me wonder like, all right, what are their Super Bowl odds where I wouldn't have thought that before? I know that sounds callous, but I'm just thinking about it from like a Super Bowl ceiling standpoint. I think it's higher with Jimmy.

Yeah. Well, think about it week to week. Do you think their spread changes because it's Jimmy G? And I feel bad, too, about Trey Lance. That's no way to go off. But it kind of worked out perfectly for him, right? He had a crappy game that nobody could have succeeded in in that weather in Chicago, who now we see is a very bad team, just like we thought. And then he comes right out and gets hurt.

And now it's his team against Seattle. And we have no idea. He didn't even barely play enough plays. He played no plays in normal weather, really, except for one quarter. So we have no idea what his ceiling is. The whole thing was very strange. But I do think, not that I'd lock them in as a playoff team, but I feel stronger about them as a playoff team.

I would now. Yeah, I wouldn't have before. I would now. Guess the lines. Week three. You won the first week. We tied second week. How about guess what? Speaking of the Giants, Jay Wilson. Jeff Wilson is your starting running back. This has not

been 15 guys hurt. Although the 49ers did lose theirs. You're already starting Jeff Wilson. You're beating me. You're going to beat me for the first time in this large-mountain league. We have $100 of free agent money, and I spent $64 on Jeff Wilson because I needed to run him back.

Is that what you did? Yeah. I spent $64. I spent two-thirds of my cap because you get him for eight weeks. He did well. He did well. Let's do guest lines. Brown Steelers Thursday night. Brown's coming off a legitimately catastrophic loss.

And now all of a sudden they're playing four days later, but they get to play Mitch Trubisky is the silver lining. Brissette wasn't awesome today. Just FYI. This is a bad quarterback matchup. These Thursday night games, like Chargers Chiefs enjoyed it. I thought the Chargers looked like they had slightly more talent.

Whatever. You can't overreact to Thursday night because I just think it's like... You can't react at all because you can't see it. It's popping up and down on the screen and it's freezing and shit like that. That's true. That's another reason you can't react. I have a... I think I'm going to win this one against you because I have first-hand experience of watching the Steelers for three hours, which you don't.

Okay. And I think the Browns are going to be favored by six. Oh, wow. Wow. I think you're going to win the week because I was miserable this week. I'll tell you my process in a second. It's three and a half. I said two.

Six. That's stupid. Six? The Steelers are not good, so. When you have two quarterbacks like that, you can't make anything six, can you? You can if you watch Mitch Trubisky for three hours. Kyle, can you pop on for a second?

Put the MySpace camera on. Come on. Kyle, put the MySpace camera on. You watched Trubisky for three hours. Were you scared once? No, I was looking forward to every chance. Kyle was just laughing, cackling, saying, Mitch! Like he had walked in and we were going to throw him a beer.

That was our reaction to Trubisky. Is he as bad as Joe Flacco? Joe Flacco beat them. Oh, Joe Flacco's way better than Mitch Trubisky. I'll listen to you. No, I'm not kidding. He's way better. Kyle. He looked Oh, Joe Flacco's way better than Mitch Trubisky. Oh, listen to you. No, I'm not kidding. He's way better. Kyle, he's not way better than anybody. He's not way better than anybody.

He's way better than Mitch Trubisky. He beats the Browns. He's like 9-2 against the Browns. He has something for them. He's better than Mitch Trubisky. You don't understand what... I saw the highlights. No, it's not the highlights. It's the day-to-day...

Like, the fans were chanting. I don't know if you know this. They were chanting for Kenny Pickett in the fourth quarter. Yeah, yeah. The Steelers fans. Yeah. That's how bad Trubisky was.

They want the ketchup bottle back, too. They're silly like that. But what do you... All right. It's not six. So, I mean, you love the Browns, huh? I will tell you this. It will be six. It's going to come. I had trouble this week. Usually, I mean, you love the Browns, huh? I will tell you this. It will be six.

I had trouble this week. Usually, I just put a plus or a minus who I think is going to be favored. I can only actually do it for five teams without thinking about it. You're going to beat me. I'm up 1-0, but enjoy the win. Sunday marquee game.

You think I'm going to put Bucks Packers here. I did not. I think Bill's Dolphins is the marquee game. It's the game I'm going to put Bucks Packers here. I did not. I think Bills to offense is the marquee game. It's the game I'm the most excited to watch. I think it'll be a lot of offense on both sides. A little AFC East. Sizing each other up. And I can't wait.

I have the Bills by four in Miami. I'm leaving the window open here. I said three. It's four and a half. Little high? Little not? No, that's about right. Yeah. But we'll see tomorrow because the Bills should thrash

that Tennessee team. Short week on the road. Hot as shit in Miami. Yeah. That's the thing. I'm telling you, man. If it's humid again in Miami and you got Tyreek and Waddle

probably running around doing stuff. Yeah. Not great. The watchables. So, Sal, I had six watchables this week, which is a lot for us. Well, your team, we'll go through them. I mean, Packers box has to be up. That's not a night game.

Neither. It's crazy. Bucks Packers. Kyle, turn the TikTok camera. Oh, man. Again. I'm running out of dances. This reminds me, but this Bucks Packersers it's like De Niro and Pacino

but not in heat like 12 like 14 years later Righteous Kill when it was like oh De Niro and Pacino in a movie together

it's like yeah but this is a yeah but it's Rodgers and Brady yeah but Brady's not the same anymore it's Friends Reunion first of all

he weighs 190 pounds I don't know if you've seen him but I like get that guy a meal. Get him like he's got to stop eating the almonds. He's super bitchy now in the games. Did you see? He's throwing hissy fits left and right.

He threw his tablet. He started a big brawl with Mike Evans. He's like a Kardashian now. What happened to him? Yeah. He was flipping things over on the sidelines. His passes were all over the place. Maybe this is what he did at home, and now he's not doing that at home.

He's got to lash out at somebody. Maybe he's not getting fed. Somebody get Brady a cheeseburger. You're my old lady now, Lattimore. I have some work for you. Well, and then the Packers, the Bears, I thought Fields scored. They're not going to overturn it because they ruled out no touchdown, but they almost cut that to seven.

I was shocked and appalled by how the Bears were able to run on the Packers, especially in the second half. And I think the Bucs probably have a better team. I don't know who's going to be healthy on the receiver side, but I think their D is good. I have the Bucucks by three in Tampa.

Did I get that too? Yeah, we split this. We both said three. It is three. Yeah. That's fair. I mean, what else are you going to make it? The Packers thing.

When does Sammy Watkins get hurt? Like week five, week six? Yeah. What would you have in the Sammy Watkins injury pool? Yeah, six and a half is probably good. Yeah, somewhere week five, week six range. Yeah be what would you have in the Sammy Watkins injury pool yeah six and a half is probably good yeah somewhere week five

week six range yeah you're right he was by far their best receiver today yeah that's not with three catches yeah we know that's not

going to last next watchable game it's got to be in here Vikings Lions in Minnesota this Lions team has played two really fun games

and we have to take them seriously now as an entertaining DirecTV team. Vikings, we assume that tomorrow's Philly game will be really fun, but I think this is in the tease zone. I'm already hating myself for putting the Vikings in a tease, and I had the Vikings by six and a half. All right, I nudge you out here.

I said seven, and it is seven and a half. A little too high. I agree with you completely. The Lions are the fun. You want to watch a fun game? If Sunday Ticket happens to be working, that's the one. Put it on. Lions every week will be good for you. Although I don't know why. I watch Goff and I just

hate his style. I feel like I'm seeing guys open that he's not throwing to. But Amar St. Brown, it's a fun team. I think the Hard Knocks carryover is a real thing. Amon Ra St. Brown, he could name the 60 guys drafted before him. Yeah. Did that at Hard Knocks? I like that.

And then it's like I'm finally proving myself. I was drafted for $15 in different fantasy leagues. And then what did Bradshaw call him today? Oh, he came close. He said, I'm on, Ra Jones. Yeah, it was about three or four syllables away, but he came close. He got him on.

He got the amount part. At 184 yards combined. Pretty good. Yeah. Next one is Ravens at New England. I'll probably get this wrong because I'm biased because I don't think the Pats are very good, unfortunately. We had a great run, though.

20 years, so. I have the Ravens favored by one and a half in New England. Oh, that's what I said. It's three. Now you're insulted. Now you're insulted the other way. I'm insulted them a little bit. A little bit.

A little bit. I don't know what to make. The Ravens, they lose two starters a week. So at some point, they're just not going to them a little bit. A little bit. A little bit. I don't know what to make. The Ravens, they lose two starters a week. So at some point, they're just not going to have a team left again like last year. I don't know when we hit that tipping point. Yeah, I don't know. Did you check? How many players did you check MVP odds for today?

Oh, wow. It's so early. Yeah, I know. But I checked for Lamar, right? Yeah. When he was going nuts. and that's 17-1. And I checked for Tua, and he's 18-1. What?

You think that's too short of odds? No, it's Tua. He's not going to... I respected what he did today, but he's not going to win the MVP. Right. So that's what I mean. You think it should be like 50? Yeah.

Listen, Lamar was 20-1 before the season, and and we talked about it and I thought those were the best odds. The Herbert having to fend off his own team doctor on top of all the great stuff he does at 10 to 1 is still pretty nice. How is this doctor still? So now this doctor is being finally sued by Ty Taylor. I don't know what Tyrod Taylor was waiting for, but you saw this, right? He's getting sued for $5 million, which you have to prove that you're worth that much. Okay, good luck. But the main thing is he's treating Justin Herbert's rib injury.

Is there a shortage of doctors? I feel like there's enough doctors that we don't need to get this guy who is going to be almost brought up on manslaughter charges I had the same feeling when that news

was announced as I did when they showed a commercial for another Halloween remake I was like really Michael Myers is back again

yeah really the Chargers team doctor is back this October the Chargers team doctor he's found a new victim. This is on Fando,

so I don't know if this is everywhere, but Jefferson is 75-1 for MVP. Oh. Cup was in the discussion last year where he was at least a finalist. If Jefferson has the 2,000 plus receiving yards and the

20 TDs. They don't get votes. It just doesn't matter. The player of the year. Don't do, but they don't get votes. Cup got no vote. He got no MVP votes. Zero. Yeah.

Or maybe one, zero or one votes. They just don't get it, but it's fun. Um, but you think, well, you think Burrow should be ahead of Tua?

Listen, I, I'm worried Burrow is going to make it through the season. They replaced four of the five starters in that O-line, which was one of the reasons I liked it. One of them was a Cowboys. We'll find out. Yeah, we'll find out.

Was this a Parson-Watts thing, or can they just not block? Ravens minus three over the Pats. I do think the Pats might have a good defense. So we'll see. They're better. Next game, three more watchables. They're better. Next game. Three more watchables. Bengals at the Jets.

Bengals 0-2. Jets at home with some momentum. This Garrett Wilson got open a lot today. Did you notice that? It was fun. Yeah, he's really fun. And Hall was good too. I have the Bengals favored by two and a half over the Jets.

We split this. This is a weird split because I said two and a half over the Jets. We split this. This is a weird split because I said six and a half and it's four and a half. Now listen, that's, that's too high. No, it's not too high. This is,

this is it for them. They have to win this game. They lost this game last year. So, right. They have that. They're pissed off. They lost the Jets. What,

what, why are they making it four and a half even? Because the Bengals, the Jets have a good defense and the Bengals haven't proven they can block yet. That'd be one reason. The Jets have skilled positions. They have cheap touchdown potential

because as Flacco showed today, he can at least throw the ball down field and get the P.I.s. I don't know. That line's too high. I think that should be Bengals by three. All right. I think they're going to put Flacco on his ass. They had a pretty good pass rush themselves. I have no idea how old Flacco is at this point.

Is he, what is he like 37, 39? He was, the queen was six years older than him, right? Because when she was a senior. Yeah. I'm not sure. It's crazy. He was confident today. I'm telling you. Chargers at Jaguars is

the next one. I think this is a good game. I'm excited to watch it. I have the Chargers by six at home. You're right. He is only 37. He's eight years younger than Tom Brady. Jesus. Doesn't make any sense. I didn't hear anything you said. Chargers six, you said? Yeah, over the Jacks. That's what I had. It's seven.

We're tying left and right here, but you're a... One, two, three, four, five, six. All right, six, five me with the ties. That's a good game. Listen, let's not let the moment pass. Let's congratulate the Jaguars for making the watchables

for the first time in, what, four years? They did. Since the Blake Bortles era? Well, let me ask you this. Yeah, no, that's good for them. But is this one of the very few home field advantages the Chargers will have? Well, yeah, because it'll be... They won't travel.

There's no visiting fans, so this will be the game where both of us have eight different people ask us if we want to go on Sunday. Right. Chargers games. There's going to be, so this will be the game where both of us have eight different people ask us if we want to go on Sunday. Right. Chargers games. There's going to be a lot of tickets. So I think it'll actually be a lot of neutral fans. Neutral fans?

Yeah, a lot of people are just going because you wanted to bring Jack to a football game. Yeah, that's sad, but I could see you being right. Yeah. They have to win this game. They're going to have a couple of fans. Last watchables, Rams cards, NFC West battle in Arizona. The Cardinals not only looked dead, but I think Kingsbury, it would have been interesting to see how long he lasted if they lost that game.

He just got an extension, but I mean, they could have gone on for it. I'm screaming about this and everyone's like, he has a four-year extension. I was like, yeah, but didn't Jeff Fisher have a two-year extension? Guys have been fired. Yeah, first year of extension, people have been fired. I have the Rams favored by two and a half against the Cardinals. You got me here. I said two and it's all the way up to four and a half.

The Rams cannot run the ball. And as far as I can tell, only have two receivers. They got Robinson a little bit more involved today. Yeah. But the running back situation is really grim. What happened to Cam Akers? I don't know. Did he,

did he like hit on McVay's new wife? Like, what did he do? Yeah, that must be it. He had, did he say, did he borrow somebody's

iPhone charger and didn't give it back? Did he order Postmates on somebody's phone? What did he do? What happened to Cam Akers? He went for like 24 bucks in our league. 20 bucks. He was over 20. 21? Yeah, it was 21. I feel like I have like 10 friends. It doesn't play.

A little bit on Cam Akers. I'm like, how do I have 10 friends and I'm in every league with you and you all have Cam Akers? This is impossible. I have Daryl Henderson for a dollar in our West Coast league. And he plays 90% of the snaps over Cam Akers, who I don't know what he did. And Cam won't get a goal line carry either. Yeah. But he had 15.

He did have a lot of carries. He's just not busting moves. He's like 15 for 44. They were talking about the WNBA finals in the locker room, and Cam's like, I don't like the WNBA. McFay's like, whoa, you're out. You're not playing. This is terrible. I am

not betting on this game. I'm just telling you. Rams cards off my card. I don't want any money either way. I'm not teasing it. I'm not looking at it. I'm not touching it. I have no idea what's going to happen. I think eventually the Rams right the ship,

and I did think they'd pull away in the division here, but there is that revenge factor in this game too, right? I mean, they've kicked the crap out of them in the playoffs. I just don't trust them. Does Kyler have feelings of revenge against anybody? I don't even know what motivates him. Hey, Kyler, we have game footage. No, no, no.

You know I don't watch that. Yeah, but do you remember they beat us in the play? I don't remember that. I don't want to see game footage. I don't care about any of it. All right. Okay. Good luck.

Body language doctors not know what to make of Kyler. Yeah. Even when they were coming back, he's just sitting on the bench zoned out. Right. He's the quarterback. He's supposed to be the leader of the team. He's not interested. And then he goes out and he just runs around and makes 19 guys miss and creates magic. What a bizarre player. Amazing to watch. Let's take one more break and then we'll finish. Metrolinx and Crosslx are reminding everyone to be careful as Eglinton Crosstown LRT train testing is in progress.

Please be alert as trains can pass at any time on the tracks. Remember to follow all traffic signals. Be careful along our tracks and only make left turns where it's safe to do so. Be alert, be aware, and stay safe. Be careful along our tracks and only make left turns where it's safe to do so. Be alert, be aware, and stay safe. Okay, I got four fairly watchables. All right. Six, six.

Heading into the second half, I guess this would be. We'll start with Titans Raiders. It's in Tennessee. And we'll know a lot more about the Titans tomorrow. I personally do not think they are good at football. The Raiders. It's in Tennessee. And we will know a lot more about the Titans tomorrow. I personally do not think they are good at football. The Raiders are 0-2. And I don't know. I felt like they let that Chargers game slip away a week ago. Today is ridiculous.

They could have won by 30. They might be good. They might be a playoff team. We might be laughing that, oh, they started 0-2 and now they're 9-6. I think the Titans have to be favored right now because they're only 0-1,

but I like the Raiders. I have Titans by one. Oh, wow. You nailed it. I thought it was Titans three and a half. I still think that was a division check.

Yeah, exactly right. Titans minus one. I think that moves tomorrow because I think Buffalo kills Tennessee tomorrow and then that line is like Raiders by two. I think that moves tomorrow because I think Buffalo kills Tennessee tomorrow and then that line is like Raiders by two. Really? I think that's a close game. You do? Yeah.

I don't even think the Titans are good, but I think they get like a stupid backdoor cover. Everyone's too high on the bills right now. I said that last week. It got burned. Chiefs at the Colts had some great playoff games with these teams. I didn't know how high to make this.

So I went to Chiefs by six at Indianapolis. Shit. You got this one too. I said five and a half. It's six and a half. This is not good. You're now up to eight, six. Can I say something really about the way we gamble?

Well, you mean that I am definitely teasing the Chiefs with like seven teams? Well, here's the thing. So they were up at the time. They were favored by four and a half over the Chargers Monday night. And the over-under was 54. And I'm like, all right, I think this is going to be high scoring. And I think the Chiefs are going to win. So I did a six point teaser.

Remember we used to do those six point teaser. I got plus one and a half and over 48. And everyone's like, that is stupid. That's a waste of money. You're going through the zero and you're not getting any value. I was like, hey, shut up. Let me bet the way I want. It's like, yeah.

All right. Great. You drink old fashions. And I like strawberry margaritas. And we're both going to be drunk in the morning. We're all going to lose money. We all definitely lose, so let me just play this teaser. By the way, the Chiefs didn't cover

and the game didn't go over and the teaser won. Right. That's all I want to say. You only needed a 99 yard interception return. I was no luck in there at all. You needed Andy Reid to eschew the fourth and one and kick a field goal, which everybody hates.

Somehow it worked out. I don't want to shit on Herbert because he is excellent. And in some cases, one of the best we've seen. Like on that fourth down. Yeah, he's amazing. I feel like on fourth down, he's phenomenal. But I feel like Mahomes gets more crap than Herbert. Herbert's the one who threw the pick six, right?

Not Mahomes. And everybody I talked to after that game was like, oh, Mahomes was lucky. He should have thrown five interceptions. What about the guy that did throw the interception that lost the game? I don't know. He gets a little more praise than he deserves, I think. Yeah, this happens to basketball players sometimes, too. They get

very praiseworthy. You know, like Anthony Edwards can do no wrong, like that kind of stuff. I thought Herbstreet made a good point about Mahomes. He was saying he's very good. Wait, you said he... Okay. He said he's one of the best.

I remember Herbstreet was saying... No, he was saying he's got a really good arm. He did? Yeah. Well, come on. They're hardly paying him anything there. You really want him to dig deep? I just want Al and Chris back together.

I know. Al, I just heard Rodgers, Al. And Tirico's just on to the next play. He doesn't let Collinsworth do his thing. It's like this great marriage that they broke up. They're dating other people. And I don't, it's like when Harry met Sally, when they have the two, the new boyfriend,

and he's dating the sweets lady. And she's dating some fucking handsome guy. And it's like, no, you guys belong together. Al, I just, I miss your sin, Al. I just, I wish I could quit you, Al. My oldest son was bummed. He's like, wait a minute, they split them up? Why'd they split them up? They were the best.

I was like, yeah, it kind of sucks. He's like, yeah, well, they'll be back though, right? I'm like, I don't know. I don't think so. Not for a while. Al's like 93. This is probably it for a while. Chris is sending out postcards. Al, I wish I could quit you. Al, did you hear my voice

last week? I don't even want to talk about it. I could have drank tea to make it better. I don't even care. Yeah, bring back Al and Chris. Two more fairly watchables. Eagles Washington at Washington. So,

can this be a revenge game for Carson Wentz since he's been on watchables Eagles, Washington at Washington. So I can cut, can this be a revenge game for Carson Wentz since he's been on, Oh, at least one other team since the room. Like, can you have revenge? It was two teams removed. I don't even know.

I think he's just having showing revenge on anyone who's betting on him. That's the only revenge he has. Like Joe house. I think Joe has better than poor Joe house. Yeah. I have a teaser. He had him in a teaser. Joe House, he said, right? Right.

Yeah, he was like, oh, what could go wrong? Went should not be put in a tease. Eagles at Washington. So we have to factor in the whole, are we sure Washington's going to have a home field advantage in this game and how many Philly fans are going to be there? I have Eagles by three. I had the same.

It's four. I thought about doing three and a half for that. I don't love these teams coming off on a short week after a really tough game. That's what the Eagles are going to do against the Vikings. Al, I just, you know, Mike Tirico's a nice guy, but I just, it's just not the same, Al. It's just not.

I just really miss you, Al. Al, I ripped out my larynx in protest that you leave, and what more do I have to get double-summed size? What do you want me to do here now? Al, I heard you with Herbstreet, and he just said everybody was very good for three hours. I was just so sad, Al. I just miss you. Can we just do Herbstreet and Tirico? Let's just trade it back. It's fine. It'd be great.

Yeah. It'd be great. Good play there. They find themselves again. It's fine. Good play by Justin Fields. Did a good one there. Panthers Saints in Carolina. I think this is I don't want to say this is a loser leaves town match but it's kind of a loser leaves town match because I don't think both of these

teams can make the playoffs and I think whoever comes out of this game will be like oh that's probably the 7th seed in the NFC I have the Panthers by 1 I screwed this up this is the one We'll be like, oh, that's probably the seventh seed in the NFC. I have the Panthers by one. I screwed this up.

This is the one I was off by four and a half points. I said Panthers by two. Oh, God. The Saints are favored by two and a half. Oh, my God. So, I mean, you win the week, I think, after that. I mean, I can't come back from, is it 9-6-1, 10-7 or something? I don't know what it is. I might bet that when we finish the pod.

You're going to bet the Panthers. Yeah, Jameis. I know. What do you have, four broken bones in this bet? Yeah, it turns out that L1 through 4 are four of the most important ribs to have intact if you're going to play. Yeah, L1, L2, L3, and L4 all busted.

Jesus. I don't know why. Good Lord. What happens with that when we're so stubborn? I love the Saints. As soon as I saw this on the schedule two months ago,

they're getting two and a half. Oh, Camara's out? You know what? I still love the Saints. Oh, Winston broke his ribs? I don't care. I love the Saints. What needs to happen

before I change my mind? And it still was a close game. They threw the ball to Olave a lot. One of the things that surprised me this year is London and Olave and Garrett Wilson are really involved on their teams. And Burks might have to be involved with Tennessee because they don't really have any other weapons.

But for the most part... I like him over 27 and a half tomorrow. Thank you for reminding me. Okay, there you go. Poop fact, I got two games. Bears, Texans, and Chicago. Two teams that I think we thought would be in the worst record conversation.

They will be. And they might be a little more frisky than that. Right? Yeah. It's like a whiff friskier. No, I'm with you. I like the Texans. I don't know if they, I do. I'm with you. I like the Texans. I just,

I don't know if they can play all four quarters, but I want to defend Justin Fields much like, um, Kirk Herbstreit doesn't really,

but tries to, whatever he tries, whatever he's doing, but, um, he's just not, uh, he's not,

he's not a pro passer. I don't know. He had eight completions today. He had seven. I know it was in the rain last week, but he's got, you gotta get those up. That's eight completions today. He had seven. I know it was in the rain last week, but you got to get those up. That's got to be 18 or 19 in one game, not

two combined. I'd want to be more critical, but other than Mooney, I couldn't really name any of the receivers on the Bears. That's a problem. I didn't really understand who he was supposed to be throwing to. It felt like they found their groove a little bit with the run game in the second half. I think the Packers have a good defense. They felt like they found their groove a little bit with the run game in the second half.

Because I think the Packers have a good defense. They have a St. Brown. I think if anyone has a St. Brown, they're in good shape. I like the under, whatever it is in this game.

Pick a team, put it with the under, tease that team, and you're good. I don't mind that. What did you have for the line? I have Bears by two and a half. Oh, you steal that one too.

I had two. All right, so you're crushing me. It's three. Full three. Last one you steal that one too. I had two. All right, so you're crushing me. It's three. Full three. Last one, Seahawks-Falcons. It's in Seattle. And I don't think the worst record bet is up, but I think it'll go up after the two Monday games.

I think the Seahawks are the worst team in the league. Really? So that was in Super Bowl week one. Well, think about what happened week one. I don't think they had more than like three first downs in the second half. They didn't move the ball at all. Broncos kept moving the ball down and they kept either fumbling on the one yard line or shooting themselves in the foot, whatever. And the Seahawks could not have been luckier to win that. The game today, they got seven points off, I think, a block punt.

Their offense didn't do anything in that game. Their offense, they can't do anything. They can't run the ball. They can't move the ball. And I think the Falcons are- It doesn't make a lot of sense. I think it was like 24 for 30, Geno Smith. I don't know why they didn't-

Yeah, but it was all like check down harmless stuff. Yeah. The Falcons, you know, I think they lose Pitts for the year in the way they've rallied without Kyle Pitts who was supposed to... Oh no, he's on the team. Sorry. Ridley.

No, I was joking that Kyle Pitts... Oh, I got you. He's been out there. Did he not do anything? No, it's two catches for 15 yards every game. Did you spend $30 on him? Yeah, he's only on every one of my teams.

I got you. He's the decoy of Kyle Pitts. This is his new nickname. Kyle the decoy Pitts. Right. Keep him out there. He paves the way for everybody else.

But they move the ball, the Falcons. I think they're both games. They've been able to four quarters. They can run the ball a little bit. Mariota is like,

he's, he's, he's, listen, stop it. He'll have one terrible play and three good with the Falcons. How many years do they have to kick us

in the balls? We lose with the Falcons all the time. Don't, well, they cover today. Yeah, because we,

today was funny because it was 28 to three. So then they start coming back. It's like, oh, got it. And then they blew it at the end.

I didn't even realize that. Yeah, good. I have Seahawks by one, and I love the Falcons. I had two and a half, and it's two. So do I get that? You win that one, yeah. Okay, three, four, five, six, seven, no chance. Eight to three, six, eight, ten, 11-8.

Yeah, you got it. Two more left. I'm going to take out my starters. I'm not even going to try and last it. Sunday night, 49ers at Broncos. Jimmy G versus the artist formerly known as

Russell Wilson. Kyle Shanahan against Nat Hackett, PI. Jeff Wilson against the best running back in the league, Javante Williams, who only gets the ball 11 times a game. But every time he gets it, he makes five guys miss. And then they just don't give him the ball. I have

the 49ers favored by one and a half in Denver. Ooh, you went the other way. I had the Niners. I have the Broncos favored by one. It's one and a half. By Broncos or Niners? Broncos favored by one and a half. Really? Okay. That's a tough one. That could be

an under two. That could just be a defense fest right there. Well, can we talk this out for a second? I think the 49ers are just better than the Broncos, right? Probably, yeah, based on what we've seen, but Nathaniel. Nathaniel.

How many points is he worth for the other team? Like five? How does he get in an interview with Nathaniel? Oh, your name's Nathaniel? There's a door. What's going on? Maybe he needs to have like sugar during the game. Like he needs to drink OJ.

You know, like people who are low on sugar, they kind of zone out. Maybe he zones out. Maybe there's like a medical thing. Or maybe he needs the real OJ by his side so he doesn't zone out. He's really paying attention. To threaten to kill him if he doesn't call a timeout. I mean, he passed on a 59-yarder in Denver,

but wanted a 64-yarder in the loudest place on the planet, Seattle's stadium. But 59-yarder in the loudest place on the planet, Seattle's stadium. But 59-yarder today, he passed on. He's a weird dude. There was that one time when Wilson walked off the field and he just had this like, what the fuck? Look at his face. Yeah.

And then the next time they scored and he made a big thing about, he hugged him. Because I think he knew, it probably looked like I was pissed 15 minutes ago. Yeah. And then Hackett was like- He he wants to cook he really wants to cook he's he's cooking mac and cheese right now oh oh god Monday night oh are you doing a Spotify live during this this isn't well I might be there because Jimmy Kimmel Live is in Brooklyn next week and I might go to the game. So, I could scream about it

from my seat. Yeah, we lost our voices today in the Bengals Cowboys on the Spotify Live. Giants home for the Cowboys. I can't believe I'm doing this. I'm going to say Giants by one and a half.

Well, you should double it. I said Giants by one and I'm as Well, you should double it. I said Giants by one, and I'm as insulted as you are with the Patriots catching three. Giants are favored by three. Holy shit. You're laying three points to Danny Jones. I'm getting three points from Danny Jones. Yeah.

That's not right. Holy mackerel. That's not right. Come on. That's stupid. If you don't believe in Daniel Jones, this defense is going to swallow him up. You might not even see him in the second quarter.

I mean, they could lose, but Daniel Jones is not going to have good numbers after this game. Parsons is incredible. I'm insulted. Who was the guy who went right after him? Didn't they take him one spot in front of

somebody, one of the fans of one of the teams. Same, same position, you mean? No, it's just somebody right after

was like, we were one pick away. He went 12. He's turned into a, we were one pick away from Parsons. Like, like Justin Jefferson.

Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I love that we have him. He was unbelievable. Probably done watching. Yeah. He's the most popular cowboy now, right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I love that we have him. He was unbelievable. Probably done watching.

He's the most popular cowboy now, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Who went after him? Well, Justin Fields. Who went before him is what you want to know, right? Well, who went 13th? 13th was Rashawn Slater.

He's pretty good, right? The tackle for the Chargers. Who went 11th? 11 was Justin Fields, but they needed a quarterback. Devontae Smith, Sertain, J.C. Horn, Penny Sewell. Yeah, that was a good draft.

It wasn't bad. It really wasn't. Trey Lance went third. Maybe that was a mistake. You know. Oh, did we... We took Mack a couple picks after. Where did Mac go?

Mac was like 15, right? Mac Jones won 15th. Right, exactly. Yeah, but you couldn't get him. Well, we could have traded up. Not as excited about Mac as I was a week ago. Really? Yeah.

Today was tough. Not going to lie. Today was tough. Would you trade him? Would you trade him right now for Cooper Rush straight up? And an autographed smoothie or something. If you told me every game Cooper Rush is going to throw three drop picks, I might think he might be going to the Hall of Fame

because that's the pace he's on right now. All right. It's time for Parent Corner. You beat me. It's 1-1-1. Sal, you're up. All right. So this is a little lame and

cheesy, but my family has a Wordle text chain. Did you get involved in Wordle? No. It's fine. It's all right. It's the only thing. Dinners are like two and a half minutes long. And then we have this text chain. And that's the only communication

we have in the entire family. And so it's me and it's the three kids and my wife. And it's usually the first thing we do in the morning. I get it out of the way. It takes 30 seconds. Boom. Now the youngest, who's not nine, not yet nine, sends his and he gets them right, like a lot. I'm like, wow, this kid, this doesn't really make sense. I'm like, Melissa, you really think he's doing these? He's like, yeah, he's doing it. I'm like, really? Because he's not really a smart kid. Otherwise he watches, um, he watches

YouTube videos of baseball players getting hit in the wrist and laughs like those are actual like videos of like guys suffering hand injuries. And I'll just sit there and giggle. I was like, he's not that smart, but like, no, no, no, he's smart. He's good with words. And then he had like a 13 game streak, uh, you know, word

old game streak. And I was like, all right, are you really doing this? He's like, yeah, dad, I'm not dumb. And then he gets mad and I have to back off. And then like one of the words was lofty. I was like, I don't think he ever heard that. And then like the other day, the word was time, but not T-I-M-E because it's five letters. It has to be, it was T-H-Y-M-E. And I was like, that's it.

There's no way. He doesn't know what time is. And I go to him, I'm like, what is time? He's like, you know what it is. Time is on your watch. I'm like, that's not the time you spelled. And you're looking up and you're cheating. This is not, this is not right.

You're cheating and you've been cheating. And then he gets like pouty. You don't want to get pouty and angry. And you're like, oh my God, they're either lying a good, really good job of lying. Or I'm the biggest asshole in the world right now. I'm like, yeah, I hope he's lying. You know? Cause now I'm like, oh man, now I'm going to be apologizing. I'm going to have to be buying baseball gear for the end of time, you know? And, and sure enough, I went into his search history and it's like today's wordle day like they have like a history of what the words are every single day they tell you i'm like

there you go domino motherfucker i told you you're cheating and he's like and then he's like and somehow he's even angrier at me now that i found out that he's cheating so anyway i was right he's dumb sorry harrison the gig's up and now now you're off the family chain for Wordle. How old is Harrison exactly? He turns nine in December. He doesn't know time, T-H-Y-M-E. Give me a break. I barely know what that is.

What is that? A fruit? That eight, nine range is when they become like pathological liars. I don't know what it is. I don't like it. They lie about everything. Their rational confidence. They'll stare at you right in the eye

and they'll tell you a falsehood yeah I'm gonna blame YouTube I would never raise a boy like that um I have two small ones

I have a Murph update for you we talked about Murph the dog last week so I had to go away for this Spotify thing for two days this week

and um you sewed his asshole shut no no but um he didn't like that I left. So he went into my son's room and took a dump on his bed. That's the thing that happened. And then peed on the couch in the TV room.

And my wife is now looking at those places where you send the dog away for 21 days. Looks like it's going to be Murph's destiny. They have these different dog trainers. They're not cheap, but I don't want Murph to die. And I don't want my wife to take him on a one-way ride to San Bernardino. So I think we're headed toward Murph going to basically the boarding school for three weeks. Wow. So he can learn how to behave. Interesting boarding school for three weeks. Wow.

So he can learn how to behave. Interesting. It's pretty rough. Yeah. I wonder what they do. I mean, aside from take all your money. They teach him how to behave. I think we had two friends who have done versions of it.

And each time the dog came back, including Nathan, you know my friend Nathan. Yeah. The dog just kept jumping on counters and eating things he shouldn't eat and ate one of their kid's panties and had to have this surgery to remove the panties. The bottom line is dogs are stupid.

Yeah. We shouldn't even have dogs because we're out of creatures in our house who just do dumb things. Isn't that the point that they're dumber than us? So we get to...

They're supposed to be man's best friend. They're not. They're our enemies. Yeah. So, I mean, he's not cheating in Wordle yet, is he?

I mean, he's not that dumb. No. It looks like we have to send Murph away. I wanted to talk about, for Parent Corner, about the football smell, which isn't as bad

as the hockey smell. Yeah. But the smell of driving the kid home, that teenager, they have, God forbid they use deodorant every day. So they already have that teenage boy, just armpit hair, gross smell. But then on top of that, the football pad, which gets its own kind of stink to it.

And then you have that ride home and it's hot. Like it was hot last week. Yeah. And you're in the car with them and you just like, you just want to die. It's so bad. It's the worst odor. And then in your car three hours later, it still has the football, teenage boy football smell. But I think the hockey smell is worse.

I've heard the hockey smell is the apex of bad smells. Pads are a little thicker. Yeah, I wonder if they turn it on, if they do it on purpose. If there's a spray that goes around the locker room that basically makes your parents, forces your parents to buy you a car, whether you have a license or not. You just want them to have their own vehicle. Yeah, get home on your own somehow. Yeah. Yeah.

It's like soccer is great. Soccer, you run around, you're just wearing like a t-shirt, you get sweaty, but whatever. There's not like equipment. Like you,

you might have like the sneakers might smell like Zoe's left their sneakers in my car a couple of times and you come in and it's like, Oh, like the soccer cleats. It's like, Oh my God, those football has the football cleats. It has, if you bring the pads home, those have a special kick to it. And then just in general, like the equipment on the body and teenage boys aren't

clean. Well, yeah, I know. And my wife goes, the gloves are bad too. We could have the gloves and they're sopping wet somehow. Oh yeah, the gloves. Yeah, the receiver gloves. Those stink. Yeah, yeah. They're in the laundry room like 40 feet away. I'm like, oh, I could still, I'm not going to get through the night

sleeping. You got to close that door or something. Yeah. Yeah, my son said the other day, do you think I need new receiver gloves? And I was like, didn't we just get them

like three weeks ago? And he's like, he's like, here, smell them. And I smelled them and I almost died. It was like, it's like the good fellas corpse that they were like, oh, here's a wing. Here's a leg. It was like a corpse smell. Yeah. So bad. Anyway, football, very malordorous sport. It's add that to the list of if you're thinking about whether your kids should play football or not. What's Archie's record? They are 2-1

and I think they're going to be good. What are you guys at? They're 2-1. They've won 34-0 last. Nice. Two weeks ago, they won 31-3 against a team whose coach had died like five weeks before and it was their homecoming. So I was like, oh, that sucks. Jesus. Yeah, I know. It's really

terrible. How are you guys doing? 2-2. Won the last two. Two plays away from four and O. And it feels like the team's coming together a little bit. Isn't it the greatest? It's just the greatest. It's so much fun. So we got Friday and then homecoming weekend the week after. I mean, you're a basketball nut, but I almost wish high school football was in March to fill the void of football. I know they couldn't do it that way. Oh, yeah.

That'd be the way. I mean, the sucky part is trying to balance the homework. Football, it's like three-hour practice. Yeah, it's a lot. My son's 14. He gets home at 7, and then he has to study all night, but he's pulling it off. We're proud of him. Not proud of Murph. I'll tell you that much. Not proud of Murph.

Murph, should shit smell worse than the gloves? I don't know. You have some house going there. I think driving Ben home still smells worse than anything Murph can do. Ben has to go away for 21 days. That's it for Paracorder. All right, Sal.

You got a lot to plug. You had PR releases this week. I do. It was like a big... Peyton Manning said something nice about me. We're at... Jesus. Extra Points has partnered with Omaha Audio and TV Production.

And there's a reason I supported Eli Manning all those years. I always tabbed him as a Hall of Famer. Never tweeted anything negative, and it paid off for me. So there you go. How much were you positive or negative betting against the Mannings over that 20 years there? I think they beat me up pretty bad.

Yeah, I was going to say, especially Eli. Eli injured my soul a few times. I know. God bless him. But Hall of Famer, first ballot. Love the guy. I told Ron. Now I have Kyler Murray.

Whatever side I'm on with Kyler Murray, I'm losing. That's what it is? Not allowed to bet on him anyway. Yeah. We have about seven quarterbacks like that. Matt Ryan, Phil Rivers. We never won. I feel like we win on Matt.

We bet against Matt Ryan. I feel like we figured him out after a while. We didn't. Maybe now. Maybe now. Maybe now. But Spotify Live on Thursdays and Sundays, it's been a lot of fun. Been a lot of close games.

As bad as these games are, there's always like two or three that come down to the wire. And we're right there for the last hour of those. All right, cuz. Good job by you. Good job by you, buddy. All right, that's it for the podcast. Thanks to Sal.

Thanks to Kyle Crane for producing. Thanks to Steve Cerruti and Dylan Berkey as well. We are coming back Monday night on the Rewatchables feed. Me, Ryan Rosillo, Brian Koppelman, and we covered a movie called Margin Call, which is fantastic. So get ready for that. I will see you on this feed on Tuesday. On the wayside