The Bill Simmons Podcast - Welcome to Wonk Week! Plus: Backup QB Saviors, Pats Déjà Vu, and Week 9 Lines With Cousin Sal.
Episode Date: November 1, 2021The Ringer’s Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss a truly bizarre week of games in the NFL (2:03) before they Guess the Lines for Week 9 (39:16). They wrap up with a Halloween rendition o...f Parent Corner (1:03:21) and a spoiler-y conversation about the latest episode of 'Succession' (1:09:59). Host: Bill Simmons Guest: Sal Iacono Producer: Isaac Lee Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Coming up, the Cuz and I are going to break down Halloween.
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It's all next, first, ouring this Halloween night.
It is almost 9 o'clock Pacific time.
Cousin Sal is here.
He just had a Halloween party with a ton of kids.
I just fended off a thousand trick-or-treaters
watching your ridiculous team.
Really, it felt like the Vikings season is now over,
even though they're 3-3.
I don't know.
How do you come back from that?
You lose to a backup quarterback.
What do you do if you're the Vikings?
We are trying to lose to teams.
We just can't do it.
We're giving,
you want a free game? Here's a nice, you say trick-or trick or treat, we say treat, and you don't take it from Cooper Rush
and the decimated Cowboys and no Dak Prescott. You find out an hour before the game. Yeah,
that was, I don't know. I saw a lot of teams today that I know are going to make the playoffs,
but I have no desire to watch them, even one game. I know we'll get to it, but the Vikings
are certainly one of them
because that seven seed, like we talked about, it's up for grabs.
That stupid Falcons team could still get it too,
but I'm happy with this Cowboys squad.
And we haven't even had Gallup come back.
This is terrific.
The seven seed in the NFC, I was looking at that during that game, actually,
where you got Packers, Cards, Rams, Cowboys, Bucks.
We'll throw in the Saints since they just have some sort of resilience to them
that can't be quantified.
But then you go seventh seed, Panthers four and four.
I haven't seen them look good in at least a month.
Even today, they beat Atlanta.
I didn't feel like they looked good.
Minnesota, San Francisco three and four.
Atlanta three and four.
Matt Ryan did it again.
The Eagles 3-5, Seahawks 3-5, Bears 3-5, Giants 2-5.
You got me, Sal.
I don't know if we're betting on that.
If you had to bet your life, who are you betting on?
Yeah, I don't know.
All I know is I have to, have to, have to be done with the Atlanta Falcons.
I've doubled up on them again.
I bet them to make the playoffs
yesterday at like plus 290.
Please, the next time I mention
betting on them or them making the playoffs,
I want you to send your son over.
Send Ben over to kick me in the nuts
and go on Amazon and buy bear spray
and just finish me off right through the nose
because I can't do it anymore
with this team. Like I said, I think
there's about seven, eight of these teams,
and we'll get to the one that killed everybody today.
But there's a bunch that are just unreliable week to week.
I didn't bet on Panthers-Falcons.
We are in that picks poll where we have to pick every game.
I picked the Panthers.
I had no other reason than it just seemed a problem to me
that the Falcons could be four and three.
That was my only reason. It's like, really? They're going to be four and three? I had no other reason than it just seemed a problem to me that the Falcons could be 4-3.
That was my only reason.
It's like, really?
They're going to be 4-3?
They're going to be on pace for, I don't know, 10-7?
That's a thing that's going to happen?
Let's talk about Minnesota quick.
So your team basically completes two long plays,
and Cedric Wilson looked like Lamar Jackson on that role play.
That was an incredible... Other than that, you didn't do anything the whole game.
I don't...
Minnesota's at a point with Cousins
where they have the ball back down for 51 seconds left.
You don't even need to watch.
There's just no way.
He's not bringing them back.
There's a weird vibe.
Would you be surprised if Zimmer got canned
within either tomorrow or eight days from now?
Because I would not.
We talk about that a lot over the years.
But no, I don't think it's happening.
Because as long as they're in the playoff hunt,
if they end up 3-9 or 4-8 or something like that,
then you might want to consider it.
But I don't think in the next couple of weeks.
I don't think anything happens in the next couple of weeks.
I don't want to kill our ratings or tune in to our subscriber viewership, whatever.
But I feel like, you know, making broad statements for over the next four weeks, especially with
the extra week, don't you think like week 12 is when we should really be analyzing these
five and five teams going into week 12?
Everybody's had a bye.
I don't know.
I'm just not counting anybody out,
but I also don't think there's,
I think there's like three or four teams
that could make the Super Bowl
and not much more than that.
I'm going to read you some texts
from my buddy, Jeff Gallo, Vikings fan.
Minnesota is a shit show.
How Vegas and everyone else cannot see
how totally inept they are is beyond me.
There's not a single team that is given
they will beat. Any game that matters
is cashing free checks. Zimmer
gone. Everyone out. Fans should boycott
every game the rest of the season.
They're 3-3. He's
so upset. But I think
all the Vikings fans are like,
all right, we're 3-3, but what
were the three? Oh, they're 3-4 now.
I'm sorry. They lose the Bengals game in OT.
They lose that dumb Cardinals game where the guy misses the field goal to win it.
That terrible Browns 14 to seven game.
And then this was the coup de grace.
Losing to Cooper Rush, Campbell Rush.
What's his first name?
Cooper.
And you better learn it.
Cooper Rush.
God bless him.
You try six or seven ginger quarterbacks and eventually one of them is going to work out. What's his first name? Cooper, and you better learn it. Craig Rush? Cooper Rush. God bless him.
You try six or seven ginger quarterbacks,
and eventually one of them is going to work out.
That's just how it is.
Yeah, they're three and a half games back, the Vikings.
I mean, we talked about that seven seed and getting a playoff spot and everything,
but three and a half back with Packers.
Some of these divisions are done. The Eagles, even with their win, are three and a half back of the Cowboys.
And then the Titans, I think, are three ahead of the Colts.
Everything else is fairly close, but some divisions, really, even this early, are done.
Well, they lost Hunter in the second quarter.
Peterson's hurt.
That feels like a tailspin.
If I had to pick out of all these teams,
all these possible seven seeds,
I think...
I don't think I could pick.
One of the best teams.
No, I don't think I could pick.
Seattle or San Francisco,
one of them will get in there.
Really, Seattle?
Because they killed the Jaguars today?
I don't know.
Maybe the Niners,
three and four,
who they've had some injuries
come in out of the gate. Feels like second
half of the season they're going to have the team, but then
you think they're playing that
NFC West schedule, and that's... I don't
know. Carolina's 4-4,
but I don't like them at all. I honestly don't know.
I don't know who I would take.
Philly? Rams or Cardinals
are the five. The Saints will probably be...
See, again, I hate doing this because it's so early.
Saints will probably be the six.
And then you're right.
It's Panthers.
It's Bears.
It's Eagles or San Francisco or Seattle or that Vikings team we just saw.
But the Saints lost their quarterback today.
Yeah, I know.
When does he come back?
Not that Winston was lighting it up, but.
They say Taysom Hill should be back, could be back next week.
So that could help.
And that's what people thought anyway. Awesome. is that what is that well is he better than is he better
than Sam Darnold or PJ Walker is he better than uh is he better than Geno Smith I mean this is
what you have to compare him to well this week was wonk week. You knew it was coming. I could see the title of this podcast being Welcome to Wonk Week.
We had seven underdogs, one outright,
and then your team officially became an underdog when Dak got scratched.
Right.
So if you count the Packers and you count Dallas tonight,
that's eight underdogs, not just covering, winning outright.
And last week's Super Bowl,
the two teams that everybody was excited about were Tampa and
Cincy. They both lost. Cincy murdered more teases, parlays, elimination pools, million-dollar picks.
It was carnage all over the place. They're up 11 against the Jets in the fourth quarter
and somehow blow it. You could feel it the whole game.
When I talk about wonk week,
when I remember this week seven years from now,
this was the first time where I'm like,
wow, there might be so much gambling that we might have figured out
how to fix some games here.
There was a call in that Bengals-Jets game.
You mentioned that a couple times on our text chains.
Like, this is fixed, and this game feels fixed too.
Yeah, I was like, this one's Tampa.
Tampa Saints, first quarter. I was like, this one's Tampa,
Tampa States first quarter.
I was like,
ah,
fixes in,
here we go.
But yeah, there was a call in that Bengals jets game.
That wasn't just the worst call of the year.
Yeah.
It's bad,
but it's one of the worst football calls of all time.
They get a stop.
They're down.
They're down three.
They get the stop with two and a half minutes left.
Um,
screen pass the running back guy comes in.
He actually holds up on the tackle a little bit.
He doesn't launch.
He lowers his head.
The Jets guy lowers his head.
Lowers his head into the guy's head.
The ref's throwing the flag basically as the tackle's happening.
And all of a sudden, it's like, no, he's not going to call helmet to helmet on that.
That hit happens 50 times a game.
Now, helmet to helmet.
And Jets win. And that hit happens 50 times a game. Now, helmet to helmet and jet swing.
Now, did the Bengals deserve to be in that position of relying on a dumb flag?
Of course, they did it to themselves, especially up 11 against Mike White.
The game should be over.
But that call was particularly awful.
You agree?
I absolutely agree.
And you're right.
That flag was out of the pocket because the ref envisioned it in his head the way that should go or where he thought it was going. And I get it. You have to protect these players, but you protected the wrong player.ator pool and now can't feed their family for three weeks.
Or whoever had Cincinnati on a Moneyline parlay, for God's sakes.
Protect those people.
That's who should be protected, not the Jets headhunter who went out there and won the game for them by lowering his noggin.
It was crazy to me.
They have to review these.
They have to be able, at least personal fouls within two minutes
need to be reviewed.
They're too big,
too big a play
to be able to end the game like that.
It's disgusting.
I think helmet to helmet should be reviewed.
Like if one of the teams wants to challenge it,
I think you should be able to challenge it
because if you watch that on a replay,
that was clearly not helmet to helmet
and they would have pulled up the flag.
There's been other times
when there has been helmet to helmet that they would have pulled up the flag. There's been other times when there has been
helmet to helmet that they've just
missed over and over again. Even that
Daniel Jones play last week when he made that one-handed
catch and the guy launched
right into him, helmet to helmet.
They didn't call that.
I'm all about getting it right. As we enter
our five into World Series
game, whatever the hell this is,
five,
and people are still
watching like, we can get these football games right where everybody's laying it on the line
and you have more eyeballs on it. Like, I don't know. One of my friends said, how about you could
review one or two penalties per game on your team? That's not bad. I mean, I want to review everything,
but at least be able, that has to be reviewable, that last piece of garbage call.
Well, the NBA did, they basically fixed the launch foul this year with
the Trae Young role, where the guys just launched
in, and it's made a huge difference
in the quality of play. The games are a little
more physical.
Wizard Celtics double OT yesterday, which
I have not enjoyed the Celtics season.
It was a really fun physical game, and
these guys, they're just not getting the calls that they used to get,
but the product's better.
I enjoy it more.
And,
you know,
I,
I get that they're trying to legislate the head safety stuff,
but it should also be reviewable because it's such a hard thing to figure
out intent when guys are launching.
And also like,
sometimes the guy's going for the tackle and the offensive player changes what he was doing
and can't expect the guy to stop in time.
There was another play with Golston today on the Bucs, right?
He got his helmet ripped off as he was hitting,
I forget who the Saints quarterback was.
Was it Simeon at that?
But whoever the Saints quarterback was.
And he couldn't see if he threw the ball or not
because his helmet was getting ripped off, which they missed.
Then he hit the guy and it's like, that's definitely not a late hit.
I don't know what you're doing.
I hate it.
I mean, you talk about week eight
is the wonky week.
It's the bad, bad, bad week for the refs.
Not that any week is particularly good,
but great week, I think,
for the backup, right?
Mike White, you mentioned.
P.J. Walker, Cooper Rush.
Am I missing somebody?
It feels like somebody else.
Ben Roethlisberger.
Oh, no.
He's their starter.
Sorry.
Trevor Simeon.
Trevor Simeon, yeah.
That's another one.
Yeah.
Huge.
Four big backups and against good teams, some of those we're talking about.
And each, White was the only one who actually was lighting it up.
Mike White was great in that game.
He threw two terrible picks.
Other than that, what did he finish
like 32 for 38
no it was 37 for 45
405 three touchdowns
I don't think there were
two terrible picks
one should have been a pick
that wasn't
but a couple
were just bounced
like deflected balls
but
yeah you're right
that's fair
it was good
he was damn good
he
took advantage
of Bengals
so this was a trap game.
We knew this heading in,
but after watching the Pats kill the Jets,
you think like,
oh,
the Jets,
not only do they suck,
not only have they lost a bunch of people,
but now white Lotus creator,
Mike White is going to be quarterbacking them this week.
This is easy.
Throw them in every tease parlay.
He came out of the gates.
It wasn't like he heated up during the game.
He came out of opening drive, went right down the heated up during the game he came out of opening drive
went right down the field
and everybody who's watching this is going uh oh
then the Bengals are having trouble blocking for Burrow
it's like uh oh
but the Bengals like clawed out of it
and all of a sudden they're up 11
and it had all the makings of the
okay here's the pick six
and they win 38-21
and we go oh man who are the Bengals
oh they really made us work nope Mike White goes right down here's the pick six and they win 38, 21. And we go, Oh man, the Bengals.
Well, they merely made us work. Nope. Mike White goes right down. And then the Bengals burrow throws a pick on one of the worst play calls of
the week. The, the delayed I'm pretending we're going right.
Stop blind screen the other way that if the defensive lineman's there,
it's a pick every time. And then I'll send there down, but it,
I really believed in the Bengals after last week,
but I guess this goes back to your point.
It's like we should have no takes until week 12.
Yeah, I think so.
And I'm not saying everyone take a month off because the pumpkin picking is done, so you can't really do that anymore.
Yeah, we're back.
Yeah, that Bengals thing was something.
The Jets do play gritty sometimes.
You never know when it's going to happen.
It's probably probably every 10 weeks
or so, or 8 weeks.
You don't want to be on the wrong side.
How about that Keelan Cole catch that didn't
count as a touchdown? He came out
throwing that, Mike White. He wasn't just
check down, back up. None of these backups
were check down, like, you know,
4-yard out to the fullback all day.
They really came out and had a game plan.
I think, like, screwed with a team like the Bengals. Oh, you're right.
How do you get up for this game after beating
Lamar and stopping him?
The Browns next week.
We'll beat the Jets. Let's start thinking
about the Browns. Bad sandwich game
for sure. A couple of things that worried
me. Well, the Bengals, the
offensive line, there's just some weeks where
it's unclear if they can protect
Burrow properly. The linebackers
couldn't
cover anything today.
The weird thing for me is last week
their defense looked so fast against Baltimore.
They were in all the right spots.
They were flying around. And this week
it looked like it was last year's team.
I wonder sometimes
if you're the Bengals, the DNA is just too
hard to overcome. You just can't have nice things when you're the Bengals, the DNA is just too hard to overcome.
You just can't have nice things when you're the Bengals.
Honestly, it was going too well.
They almost had to sabotage it. It was like you have that friend who just can't find love with anybody.
And then he finally meets somebody and he's like, no, this might be the one.
And it's like, okay, just wait.
Then they screw it up.
That's the Bengals.
You're just out on probation.
Leave that prostitute alone. Come on. Come on. Don't pick her up. Yeah, I think you're right. There
are some teams like that. The Bengals are one of them. I think the Bengals and Chargers are two
teams that everyone, a lot of people like, oh my God, this team could go to the Super Bowl.
You watch, they're going to win a division that was unwinnable by these franchises and
a decade's worth of football.
Now, I think we feel the same way
about you pushed them around.
Let's take a break. We'll talk
Pat's charges. I don't want to take a break.
We're going to take a break.
All right.
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All right, coming back, Pat's Chargers.
You compared the Chargers to the Bengals.
Yeah.
Here's where I disagree.
I think the Bengals had a bad game that they didn't get up for,
and some things snowballed, and Mike White caught fire,
and it just kind of became one of those dumb games.
I think the Chargers have lost too much on defense now.
Yeah.
You know, even during that game,
they ran out of secondary people.
Their defense, their run defense,
wasn't that good to begin with.
I actually think the Pats should have won that game by 20 points.
It was the worst. It was 31st or 32nd, the run defense.
Yeah, for sure.
Actually, I don't know what we were doing in the first half.
I felt like we could have run the ball down their throat
the whole game
McDaniels was doing his coaching tape
for his next head coaching job next year
was doing all his stupid goofy pass plays
and the third and one
trying to outthink them plays
and as soon as we just started smash mouth
and play action
we could do whatever we wanted
he missed a lot of throws though
he really did.
Mack Jones.
Oh, Mack was bad.
I think you could have won by more, but I know what you're saying.
You should have been able to run on him, but he also missed a lot.
He only completed about half his passes.
I thought he...
It's happened a couple times.
It happened in the Miami game, too, in the first half,
where he looked a little uncomfortable,
but then he settled down completely. Herbert missed a couple throws. It happened in the Miami game too in the first half where he looked a little uncomfortable, but then he settled down
completely. Herbert missed a couple
throws. Mike Williams isn't
totally healthy. Eckler was hurt.
It had a vibe. I feel like if we
played that game 10 times,
I think there's a couple versions where
the Pats win by 20 if they do a couple
smart things.
You beat them 45-0 last year out here,
which is, I must have buried that game from my memory.
I don't know why.
But you talk about a team that might have another number.
But Mac Jones, like, I thought Mac overthrew a lot of guys.
Justin Herbert was forcing,
was really trying to thread the needle on a bunch.
He had two picks, probably could have had five
in this day and age where everything gets tipped
and brought in.
But yeah, I don't know what to think of this Chargers team.
And this is really where they could be pulling away in that division
where a very, very iffy Chiefs team.
And it'd be great if it all went to the Raiders
who didn't even play this week.
Yeah, I think with the Pats, that game unfolded very similarly
to the Miami game, the Dallas game, and the Tampa game.
And it was like dumb penalties and there's Harris, 25
yard touchdown. Oh no, there's a flag.
And it was like all those kind of moments.
And it was like, oh, I guess this
is Groundhog Day for this 2021
Pats. But then they pulled out of it
and that interception, pick six up
and then they had a great drive.
And I think
I continue to think the Pats are good.
I know I've said this week after week with you
for the last three, four weeks,
but I think they're a pretty complete team.
I don't know if they're on the level of the top five,
but I think it's a good football team
that is showing a little resiliency in some of these games.
I'm coming around a little.
If not only for the fact that you're going to be in a lot of these games.
You are.
I don't think you're going to get embarrassed too much.
I read too much into the fact that three of your wins were against two,
against the Jets and one against the Texans.
Yeah.
But it doesn't really matter at this point.
As long as you're healthy, as long as you have that running game,
and Belichick gets you playing gritty defense, which he will,
you're going to be in all these.
Well, you know the other thing with the Chargers,
so they're 2-2 at home, which I mean, the Pats are 1-4 at home.
But the Chargers,
to have a game like that, it's like
the Romo-Nance game.
Are they 2-2 at home? They don't have three
losses? I guess you're right. I have 2-2
at home, 2-1 at home.
Well, they're never at home anyway.
It's like the signature CBS
game, right? And you have
what, 50,000 Pats fans
there, 45,000 Pats fans?
It's a lot. And Herbert's going with
the silent count in his own stadium. I don't
know. That stuff adds up when
it's just every game you're on the road, basically,
unless you're playing somebody shitty. Well, Nephew Kyle was passed out
in the second quarter. Do you even count him as a fan there?
I mean, he's not making any noise.
He was very much alive.
He's not producing the pod tonight
because he wanted to go to the Patch Chargers.
And he incoherently FaceTimed me after the game.
Oh, nice.
And did the whole thing where, you know,
when somebody's definitely having a good time,
they hold the phone up and they do the 360 twirl
of the surroundings.
And you're just going, yeah!
He had a great time.
I think the Pats...
Look what you're missing!
I'll see you in six hours after I pay
$400 for an Uber.
It's going to be two hours to get out of here!
Yeah!
I think the pick six was a great moment
though. But you know,
Sal, far be it for me to
make a huge leap here, but
there was an emotional
win over the Chargers in 2001
with the
first year starting quarterback by
the name of Tom Brady. Don't remember.
The Pats went
500 team first half of the year
and then kind of came together as the year went along.
It is a topic
in the Pats threats, in the Pats
message boards, Pats text threats.
There's a couple parallels.
Just a couple. Same coach.
First year starter.
Team
kind of slowly getting better, but nobody
taking them seriously. We're starting to get ideas.
All right. Look, I want you to be excited
about this season.
I don't need you shifting to basketball.
So I'll pretend that the Pats are a threat,
a legitimate threat in the AFC.
I really appreciate that.
Yeah.
I will say this.
The Chargers, who I think we all got excited about.
And now we have the eight games under our belt and you can kind of go back and be like,
should we have been excited for these wins? And you go back and you
go, all right, they beat Washington by four.
They lost to your team.
That was a dumb game week two.
They beat Kansas City by six.
A win that seems
way less impressive than it did in week
three, right?
They beat Vegas
in week four
right as the Gruden stuff was kind of fermenting.
Right.
They beat Cleveland 47-42.
Giving up 42 points to Cleveland now is looking terrible.
They get killed by Baltimore by week, and then they lose to the Pats.
Maybe they're just not good.
Well, I said this.
I mean, just breaking it down
by unit, any team that's 31st
or 32nd, I don't know what they are after
today, in rush defense,
everyone's got a shot. Everybody's got
a shot at you. I don't care how well
Herbert's connecting with
Williams or
Allen or any of those guys or Eckler out of
the backfield. If you can run over
a team, you control time and possession,
you're going to score in the 20s.
And that's basically what the Patriots did.
Let's talk about Tampa.
The Saints, just these certain teams.
Miami used to do this to them a couple times.
The Giants, obviously.
These teams that can kind of push the line on him.
And you kind of know it when he's having one of those bad Brady games
when the passes are kind of sailing around and the camera cuts to him
and he's kind of just staring at whatever just happened for an extra two seconds.
And he just never seemed totally comfortable.
And yet they get this huge break with Winston going out.
And I thought Hill was coming in. I forgot he was here.
Then it's Trevor Simeon. Trevor Simeon, where did he come
from? It didn't matter.
They were able to
hold off the big buck surge
in the second half. What did you
make of that game?
I mean, you...
Listen, we're on this text chain. It's me, you, it's House,
it's Hench, and we're always sending each other live
lines, right? So it's like, oh my
God, at one point, brady was plus 370 against trevor simeon now they had some points to make
up i think 10 at the time but like what the hell are we doing what are we waiting for here yeah
simon this is our fault we did this to tampo we did it we bet him to win mvp i don't know
was it monday tuesday it was plus 500, plus 550. I bet Tampa to have the
best regular season record.
I'm like, ah, they're going to go 14-3, 15-2.
That's good enough. So we absolutely
did this to them, but it did
seem like, let's give this game
away. We don't care.
As much as a division game
should matter, just didn't seem to matter
to the Bucs today.
It's a weird one, especially when Jameis goes out.
There seemed to be an arrogance that sent in.
I think we're only eight games in, but you could say this is the half season awards,
right?
I don't know who the MVP is.
Sean Payton's got to be in the running for a coach of the year if you're going to try
to figure out who coach of the year is.
How are the Saints 5-2?
Honestly,
they're missing their second-best offensive player the whole time.
They have a quarterback who threw for three yards
an attempt last week, and then
looks like he blew out his knee this week. It didn't seem
promising.
They've just kind of found a way to...
They killed Green Bay in week
one, and everyone throws away week one,
but that still counts.
Green Bay hasn't lost since.
They beat Tampa.
Where they got killed
because their whole coaching staff was out, right?
I mean, I guess that would have worked better for him
if he was one of the coaches that were out.
But yeah, you're right.
I don't know.
I'd be singing a song for my own coach,
not my own coach.
He almost screwed up in Minnesota tonight,
but you're Belichick.
If I were you, that's who I would be.
I think that's a few weeks away because
four and four, you're not coach of the year.
Josh Allen, I'm just sorry.
I'm looking at Fandles numbers. Josh Allen is
two to one to win MVP and Brady
six to one now.
It's so early. It seems like all the value
on two to one.
They were terrible for three quarters today
at Buffalo.
Did you see that play when I didn't watch
I wasn't that focused on Buffalo Miami
but did circle in once it got
crunch timey
17-3
and it was like 4th and 6th or something
and Tua got it and then the next play
went deep and
Buffalo just had a chance to step on their neck
and finish them,
send them away.
And they didn't.
And then it was a one-score game.
And I don't know.
I kind of want to see that team
in a slugfest with somebody
over the next couple of weeks.
When do they have a game
where they can just like
go toe-to-toe with somebody?
I think they have something coming up.
Yeah, yeah.
It's either this week
or next week.
Wait.
Because we thought it was going to be
KC week five, but that's a pretty compromised KC team. Yeah, because. It's either this week or next week. Wait. Because we thought it was going to be KC week five,
but that's a pretty compromised KC team.
Yeah, because look at the next couple weeks, Sal.
At Jacksonville.
It's not at Jacksonville?
You don't think it's at Jacksonville?
At Jacksonville, at the Jets, and then home Colts,
at New Orleans, and then home New England,
and at Tampa, I guess, will be the-
At Tampa, December 12th.
That'll be the stretch when we know.
Because Belichick usually beats them like a drum.
Geez, even around there, though.
I mean, I guess they have two against the Patriots,
but then they're home against the Falcons.
They have the Jets again later.
That's, yeah.
Well, that was the terrible thing about that Tampa loss.
The schedule gets incredibly easy for them.
Other than that Buffalo game,
the Saints were the only good team that they were playing the rest of the way.
And if they're not going to get a bigger gift than, you know,
Winston going down in the second quarter and Taysom Hill's not there either.
And they still blow it.
Well, I'll tell you who we should have bet for going to have the best record.
And I think this was their best win.
I mean, we talk about the Titans beating the Bills on Monday night,
then beating the Chiefs.
And then this one was pretty freaking legit.
Not that the other two weren't,
but down 14 to the Colts, at the Colts,
in a game, a hangover following a hangover game.
They easily could have lost, and they win 34-31.
Now, it helped that Carson Wentz, you know,
looked like he was playing with his opposite arm,
a middle school team.
Like, I don't understand what happened there,
how they lost, but they really don't have... What do you mean you don't understand? He's Carson Wentz.
Oh yeah, he's Carson Wentz. Right, right.
They have the Texans, Jaguars,
Niners, Dolphins all at home.
Texans twice. This team's going to win
12 or 13 also.
Yeah, the fact that they have the undisputed
best record in the AFC
right now is staggering to me.
Yeah, at 6-2. I looked at that in the standings
and it was the Titans at six and two
and then the Raiders right under them at five and two.
And it's like, wow, this is where we are.
We're almost at the halfway point.
I'm very proud to say I have not bet on the Colts all year
because I refused to bet on Carson Wentz.
And it's for situations like today.
It wasn't the only time that he did that, by the way.
He does this thing where he's getting sacked
and thinks it's a good idea
to just kind of
throw the ball for grabs
because there's a guy kind of close to him on
his team. He does this once or twice
a game. And to me,
he's a no bet. I'm never
betting on them. This year, I've managed to
avoid betting on bad teams
and betting on quarterbacks like
Carson Wentz because I can't take it.
Man, if you're a Colts fan...
It's brutal.
I mean, the mascot was banging his head
against the goalpost.
That's good.
That's how every Colts fan felt.
If you're a Colts fan,
are you like,
nah, Wentz will figure it out?
You can't think that.
You can't. This is who he is. He can out. You can't think that. You can't.
This is who he is.
He can't fucking take care of the ball.
He can't.
But why did he?
He was so good last Sunday night against the 49ers in the rain,
side-arming passes.
Like, we're getting it right in there.
And only turned it over once.
It wasn't an interception.
It was a bad fumble.
But, yeah, it was still in the rain.
I don't know.
I just thought they should have finished them off today.
I don't understand it at all.
That defense is usually better than they were.
But, I mean, that's the thing with the Titans.
Are they going to win games now?
Are they going to score 34 when Henry has, what, 70 yards rushing?
Did he even have that much?
Well, the thing that's...
68 yards rushing. 28 for 68.
The thing that the Titans do is you'll look up and they've just gotten their ass kicked for an hour
because this happened in the Seahawks game too
they just got their ass kicked
and then they do have the resilience
to come back from some of this stuff
the thing with Wentz
to switch sports, think about baseball
Erod was like this
on the Red Sox this year
these starters that can look good
for like three starts in a row,
or they can look good for five straight innings
where it looks like,
oh, they might throw a no hitter.
And they just, they can't help themselves.
They have to do something dumb.
They have to like, you know,
walk the number nine hitter
and then set up all of a sudden
there's three guys on base
and somebody's hitting a rock
and he's coming out of the game.
Wentz just can't help himself. This is who
he is. I think Daniel Jones is like this
too. They can't help themselves. They're
always going to have a turnover in a bad
spot. Yeah, maybe. Change of scenery doesn't really
matter, I guess. So Tennessee,
what is their lead now?
Well, they're another one.
They have three over them, right?
They're six and2 and Indy's
3-5 so a full three games
but it's even better than that
head to head twice
yeah they're 3-0 in their division
so
they basically gotta
they'd have to have some major injuries
you know this is one of the cases for the Pats
the Pats are 0-3 against the NFC
and 4-1 in the AFC
so if it gets into that 9-8
10-7 at the end of the year
when we're trying to figure out who the 6-7
there's tiebreakers and stuff
the Pats have done really well
in the conference
I'm out on Carson Wentz
alright I don't know why
I got excited because like I think I said
last week as a Cowboys fan I wasn't able to root for him with Philadelphia.
And now it's like, oh, all right, this could be a little something.
I don't like the Titans.
And he's replacing Phil Rivers,
but I guess they would have been better off Phil Rivers
keeping him on another year.
Ooh, I don't know.
Wow.
You think that little Phil Rivers
He had decent numbers
Last year
If you look at it
Where are you going
Where are you going
With old Phil Rivers though
Speaking of old
So Steelers beat the Browns
Yeah
We hit our underdog parlay
Which they boosted
On FanDuel
To plus 800
Mm-hmm
Pat's Steelers
Boost
Crushed it
Nice
But I was watching Brown Steelers With my it nice but I was watching
Brown Steelers
with my friend Hershey
who was over
and he asked
is Roethlisberger
one of the 10 best
quarterbacks of all time
hmm
and I was like
no that can't be possible
yeah you told him no
make your list
so we're watching
these terrible games
making lists
you could make a
Casey's number 10
I was actually kind of stunned.
Super Bowl era, right? No crazy
YA title stuff, right? Just Super Bowl era?
Yeah, so I figured
these nine have to be on. No particular
order. Brady, Manning, Montana,
Rogers,
Elway,
Marino,
Favre,
Breeze,
and then Johnny Unitas is the one old guy.
Because everybody, he's like the Bob Cousin.
Everyone kind of agrees.
Those nine, then it kind of drops.
If you go look at the passing liners,
now we're talking Ben,
Warren Moon,
Phil Rivers, Jim Kelly.
Forgot to put Romo in there, but that's all right.
Romo.
Then you got the newer guys
who don't have the pedigree yet, like Wilson
hasn't played long enough yet. Mahomes
hasn't played long enough.
And you kind of run out of guys. And then you're like,
wow, he's probably the
10th best quarterback of all time.
He could be 10. But you
had this discussion before Cooper Rush
played, right? That's fair.
That was like eight hours before Cooper Rush.
Let me think. Yeah, I guess
I would have to rethink that. So no Giants,
no, I'm looking, Philly,
McNabb, no. No, it's
I'm telling you. We went through all the names.
Kurt Warner?
Oh, that's interesting. So
you'd have to go
Warner, like five-year apex
over totality
of Ben's career
but Ben had some
like 5,000 yard seasons
that's the thing
yeah
one and close
and if you're saying like
from a memorable standpoint
he was like
kind of the master
of the
so big
it takes two guys
to bring him down
prolong the play
people bouncing off him
so it's not like
it wasn't just numbers
there was some sort of
something to him.
The reason I bring this up is...
I bet people would put Russ in there. You're right, though.
You can't kick him out of the top 12
or 13, I don't think.
I think he's holding 10 for
Wilson or Mahomes. I think one of those guys
takes the spot, but right now, I think
he's 10. The reason I bring it up is
he's like a shell
of himself now
in these Browns games.
But he makes enough plays
to let them hang around.
He has that old guy
like when you're playing golf
with some dad of four kids
and they're hitting a drive
to the woods
and it hits a tree
and bounces back
in the fairway.
He has how many
of those passes a game?
Where it hits two defenders who are trying to get the interception.
Right.
They both drop it.
And there,
he has a weird confidence to him.
And I wasn't surprised they beat the Browns.
Were you?
No,
I wasn't.
And I think this is three games in a row where he hasn't thrown an
interception,
which is big.
And he had one thing they had against them,
which is the biggest thing of all is their
kicker became a passer um Tomlin held hang him on to out to dry and so then they didn't have a
kicker and why no punter can make a 25 yard field goals beyond me like I don't know why you can't
put a punter in for an extra point but whatever and I know he's like an obese punter this guy
which would have been hilarious to see.
But every time they almost trotted him on the field
and then they didn't, they brought him back.
Yeah, what were they doing with that?
It was like they were pretending he was going to come out.
It's like, who are you trying to psych out?
Right, and they're teasing everybody.
But yeah, their defense keeps them in games.
Obviously, TJ Watt, what do you have, six touchdowns they had.
They have four sacks total.
Baker's not – Baker's just – he's playing like he has a busted-up labrum
in the opposite shoulder.
He really is.
And people like – someone tweeted, it's like, oh, I can't wait.
Can't wait to you and Simmons say this is Baker's fault and he was bad.
I was like, you don't have to wait.
I'll tell you right now.
He wasn't that good.
He really wasn't.
I mean, maybe Landry dropped the pass here or there,
but you're at home against the Steelers and you scored 10 points
and you were 20 for 31 with no touchdowns.
I watched the entire game.
He missed, I don't know, nine throws?
Yeah.
Ten throws.
Balls were sailing all over the place.
I never thought he was going to put together a 10-play, 85-yard drive.
I don't think the Steelers were scared of him at all.
They were just like, we need to shut down the run.
Baker's not going to hurt us.
And I honestly think they win the game with Keenum.
I think Keenum gets in the 20 points.
I think he would have been worth an extra 10.
I thought Baker did nothing in that game.
Yeah.
And he's hurt.
It's with reason.
The whole left side of his body is immobilized.
Right.
Now, we'll get to it.
Cincinnati-Cleveland.
And it's not a loser-leave-towns match by any means because we're very early in the season still.
But it's a loser I don't want to see in the playoffs, basically,
out of those two.
I'm kind of bored.
I'm really bored by the Browns right now,
especially the Browns.
Let's see where the Bengals take us the next few weeks.
I can't believe I'm saying this,
but the season does feel like it might be too long.
The 17 weeks.
I know.
All the twists.
There are nine weeks left.
Every week there's seven different new takes that we have to juggle.
It's over two months.
It's nuts.
We're going to take a break.
Come back to Guest Alliance.
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All right, we're going to guess the lines
for week eight.
What's the tally?
You're up 4-3?
Week nine, yeah.
Oh, week nine.
4-3-1, is that what it is?
4-3-1, okay.
4-3-1, yep.
Thursday night is Colts Jets
on ESPN.com.
I always enjoy the NFL Nation blogs
where they have the blogs
related to different teams or like recaps, stuff like that.
Actual headline on ESPN.com's NFL Nation.
Jets quarterback controversy?
Question mark.
Mike White sends a message to Zach Wilson.
This is an unironic headline.
Is there a quarterback controversy with the Jets?
Are the Jets fans
watching this going, hey, Mike White, why not? Could this be our Tom Brady?
I think they like this Mike White. It's hard to pull. Let me ask you this. He's going against
Carson Wentz. Who do you trust more? Mike White. A million times. Watch Mike White take apart the
Bengals. There's a controversy with him and another team's quarterback. It's weird. Certainly there is for
his own. Yeah. How we're going to be
20 years after Mo Lewis
hits blood zone and paves the way for
the Brady dynasty, that
the Patriots play the Jets, injures Zach
Wilson, and Mike White comes in
and becomes one of the seven best
quarterbacks in football. Wow. The
White Lotus supplants
Ben Roethlisberger
as the 10th greatest quarterback ever.
Oh my God. McBride was
on fire. He murdered
the Bengals. And it was with
Denzel Mims and Brandon
Berrios. Are you fucking kidding
me? He's the best backup
we've seen this year. I'm trying to think.
He was really good. When did we see a better backup
for one game? Over 400 yards. That's insanity trying to think. He was really good. When did we see a better backup for one game?
Over 400 yards.
That's insanity for a Jet.
He was really good.
There was a stretch where it seemed like
he completed like
22 of 24
or something like that.
And they were all on the money.
It's not like
they were just perfect
every time.
He was 8 for 8
by 10.14 a.m.
our time.
Well, I'm going to bet him
on Thursday
and he'll probably throw seven picks. Yeah. I have. Well, I'm going to bet him on Thursday and he'll probably throw
seven picks.
This is in Indy. I think
this is Colts by 10.5 over the Jets.
You're going to get it. I said 10.
It's 11.5.
But it opened, before they
played today, it opened at 14.
Oh.
Vandal likes Mike
White.
Well, I'll tell you this this The Colts are 3-4
And the Jets are 2-5
And normally that's not a recipe
For a double digit line
That seems a little high
Are the Colts 3-5 or 3-4?
3-4
The Colts are 3-4
Jets are 2-5
Gotcha, gotcha
Sunday Marquee
It's a State Farm Classic
Chiefs Packers
Mahomes Rogers It's a State Farm Classic. Chiefs Packers.
Mahomes Rogers.
It's in Casey.
We don't know what's going to happen with the Chiefs against the Giants tomorrow night.
That line has not budged.
It's been minus 10 for the entire week, right?
Mm-hmm.
Yep.
Packers.
Man, what a win that was for them Thursday night.
That happened after I had finished my podcast.
But Rogers missing the three receivers. Man, what a win that was for them Thursday night. That happened after I had finished my podcast.
But Rodgers, missing the three receivers,
they banged Kyler around a little bit,
and they've won seven straight and have to be taken seriously.
And yet, I think they're going to be getting four points in Kansas City.
Oh, all right. I'll get this one.
I said three, and it's two and a half.
Oh, wow.
I don't know.
I know you're friendly with Connor you have Chiefs
friend fans and my friends that are Chiefs backers are all like they're not right don't I mean not
that we need their backing to tell us this but don't even bet them against the Giants is what
I'm told like this team is not right and might not be right for a while. I'm hearing that as well and yet the minus two and a half
in Arrowhead means that
Vegas is thinking
on a neutral field the Packers
are a better team than the Chiefs
tough fall for the Chiefs
you know Green Bay just gives us free money
every week they beat the snot out of
the bad teams and they stay close and
win against the team they'll have a
coach out with COVID best receiver out. And Rogers is just like, Hey, turn around Winfrey, Oprah Winfrey's nephew,
whoever the hell this is, take three steps and I'll get you the ball. And they do that all the
way down the field and they run and they, you know, a flukish way to win that Arizona game.
But for God's sakes, this Packers team is pretty damn good and hard to bet against every week.
Who do you think lost people
the most money this week? The Packers, the
Bengals, or the Bucs?
Who? Packers, Bengals,
Bucs. Bengals.
You think the most money was on the Bengals this week?
Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Because
I didn't even, I couldn't
even come up with a tease.
Like for million dollar picks and in
real life. And I think I had
the Bucs and Versions and the Chiefs
just putting them a money line
tease with like the Bills.
Because I wanted to tease and parlay
the Bengals so badly. It seemed like the easiest
bet of the year.
That's the first bad one that I think
we've had this season.
That took out the most people.
So the seven point favorites, seven pluspoint favorites were 25-0 before today.
And then two more hit in the morning.
Who was it?
Well, the Rams won.
The Rams, Bills, yeah.
And the Bills, right.
So that made it 27-0 before that Bengals game was final.
So we could cry all we want, but we've been doing pretty well.
I know.
It was the tax for all the teasers.
Yeah.
Well, supposedly, I heard on FanDuel,
the line closed for the Rams game at 16 and a half.
Yeah, right.
And the Texans got all the good,
and then they got the two point,
and they somehow covered.
What was it, like 38-0?
It was 38-0.
22 straight.
Great job.
David Culley had to be proud.
Great team's cover. All right. I have three watch Culley had to be proud. Great team's cover.
All right.
I have three watchable games.
First one is Bengals-Browns.
It's in Cincy.
And I think the Bengals are favored by three and a half.
I said three and it's two and a half.
Oh, I get that.
Yeah.
That's a mistake.
No, they got to make it three. It should be three. It should be three or three and a half, right get that. Yeah. That's a mistake. No, they got to make it three.
It should be three.
It should be three or three and a half, right?
Yeah, I think so.
From what we saw from Baker today, you cannot give them the extra half.
This is a stay away.
I don't love Case Keenum either.
I really don't.
I have this theory about when these guys, I've said it before,
but when they grab, you can tell how confident a quarterback is
and how tight he grabs his helmet.
Like hearing the offensive coordinator phone in the plays.
Is this the Kirk Cousins theory?
Can we name it after Kirk Cousins?
I do, I like it.
But it's like they're trying to squeeze a watermelon.
Like, really?
It's all coming together.
It's like, oh man, I don't have any confidence in that guy.
And yet he looked better than Baker today.
I agree with you. I think this is probably
a stay away.
I'm going to read the quotes this week from the Bengals
because I would like to read
multiple pieces from some
of the leaders on that team talking about how
upset they were that they laid an egg against the Jets.
And if they want to be a great team
every game, you got to take everybody
seriously. And that's a learning.
I want to read all that stuff.
And then I might take them.
If that line stays at two and a half.
Yeah.
If I'm a Bengal defender,
I'm just like Mike White's the best quarterback we've seen all year.
Yeah.
That's what I was just saying.
Like,
let him prove you all the bad.
Otherwise that's our guy.
Mike White,
White Lotus.
Is White Lotus going to be his nickname?
It's gotta be.
I wasn't on Twitter for the games today, but where people make it in the way there has to be the White Lotus. Is White Lotus going to be his nickname? It's got to be. I wasn't on Twitter for the games today,
but were people making the White...
There has to be the White Lotus thing.
There has to be what it is.
His picture side by side with the creator.
Or just Lotus?
Can we call him Lotus?
Lotus is good.
Ravens are home for the terrible Vikings.
And who knows if Mike Zimmer will be coaching this one I have the Ravens by
six
you get it I said four and a half it's five
and a half
I think the Vikes are going to be that team
at the end of the year
that they're like seven
and ten they finished with a record like seven
and ten but yet they're like
ninth in offensive DVOA
and eighth in defensive DVOA and 8th in defensive DVOA.
And Football Outsiders is writing about how this is one of the five worst win-loss results
for a team with these kind of credentials that we've had.
Right. Everyone did well with their fantasy guys on that team, right? Yeah, for sure.
Yeah. Can you do us a solid though, Ravens, if we put you in a teaser after a bye week, after losing miserably
last week? Can you just
win this game for us? You don't have to cover.
Just win it. Should we be more
concerned that the Ravens
weren't moving the ball around on the Bengals?
Yeah. When we saw
Lotus just lighting them up? I was like, how'd they
stop Lamar? I was looking at this.
Which is why he's the top 10 quarterback
of all time. Lotus.
White Lotus.
The cards are home
for the
oh no cards are not home
they're at
whatever that terrible
San Francisco field
is called
playing the 49ers.
James G
had a couple moments
today I felt like.
James G was kind of like
this is my team.
I know you traded
all the picks
for that other guy
but I'm still here.
It's one of those games.
I think the cards will be favored.
I don't think it'll be three.
I think it'll be two and a half.
Cards by two and a half in San Francisco.
Son of a bitch.
I said three and a half.
It is, in fact, two and a half.
It should probably be more.
I mean, it's, well, I don't know.
We saw Kyler walk off in a heap Thursday night,
but they don't ever win in this arena,
wherever this is, this San Francisco.
They haven't won in a year and a half?
How long has it been?
It's been a while.
Well, so in our keeper league,
I was one in six.
I traded Kyler to Lewis,
who's trying to beat you for the keeper title.
He traded me, Joe Burrow, and Michael Pittman I was one in six. I traded Kyler to Lewis, who's trying to beat you for the keeper title. Right.
He traded me, Joe Burrow, and Michael Pittman for Kyler.
Mm-hmm.
And I called him, and I actually called him, and I was like,
you should, Kyler's the second best player in our league.
You have a chance to beat Sal.
You should do this.
He's like, he's wanted Kyler for a couple weeks.
He's like, all right, done.
Kyler looks terrible on Thursday night, so he's already mad.
The Colts game starts.
Pittman has two touchdowns in the first 40 minutes.
And he's just like, I'm never trading with you again.
This is bullshit.
I can't believe this.
And yeah, it was really fun.
I think I pulled one over on Lewis.
You know what?
He said, if the baseball league you're in, he texted me,
is any indication, he said, this won't help you at all.
That's true.
It's kind of rude.
It's a rude thing to say.
Yeah, that's true.
I haven't won a title in a while.
He's just bitter.
But your big thing is you have Burrow and Chase now in a keeper league.
For next year.
For next year.
Yeah.
You're psyched.
Very excited about it.
All right, bring it on.
I'm undefeated in that league.
I told you, that's the nicest thing you ever did for me
starting that league I still have not lost
8-0
don't be a dick
barely watchables we have 5 teams including my beloved Patriots
playing in Carolina
I cannot give this an actual watchable
but is McCaffrey back or no
what's the deal
I don't know I think he's always going to be
like a Thursday Friday decision right
the Mike Trout of football Christian McCaffrey I don't know. I think he's always going to be like a Thursday, Friday decision, right?
The Mike Trout of football, Christian McCaffrey.
I have the Pats favorite in Carolina by one and a half points.
No, you went light.
I said two and a half for your team, and it's three.
This is the John Casey Bowl, right? I have to dress up for this.
I got to get in a uniform for this.
I mean, some people call it the Nipplegate Bowl.
That's right.
Right, right, right.
Right.
Exactly.
It's so funny.
We were at that game and we had no idea and there was no Twitter and nobody told us.
And we just thought we saw a great football game and come to find out it caused an actual
American crisis.
I don't even know
if I found out until Monday.
Like, the next day.
It's very weird.
The FCC got involved.
They started
tape-delaying
sporting events.
Right.
It just caused
a complete ruckus
just for this thing
that we didn't even know
happened when it happened.
Pat's Panthers.
Okay.
Can I tell you
what else has changed?
I mean, you're not on it
as much as I am,
but I'm constantly
checking the live lines for these games.
And Fandle is so much ahead of the DirecTV feed.
I mean, it might be a 30 Mississippi count at this point.
Wow.
Because I'm seeing like, oh my God, did the Saints score seven there
or did they score three?
I'm like, oh no, wait, they definitely scored three
because the Bucs are still favored in this game in the live line.
It's a weird way to watch. I almost have to wait till commercial now because it's ruining my viewing experience.
I've noticed cable is probably three seconds faster than DirecTV.
Right. That's true.
And then streaming is like 20 seconds slower than DirecTV.
So what's going to happen when Amazon gets streaming and we lose DirecTV all together?
What are we going to do with live together? What are we going to do
with live betting?
How are they going to keep up?
I think it should wait
until timeouts.
Yeah.
Or timeouts
or commercials,
stoppages,
stuff like that.
Yeah, long stoppages.
Yeah.
Anything that has
a minute or long stoppage.
All right.
Cowboys, your team,
playing the Broncos
in Dallas.
What's the deal with Dak?
Take another week off. Take a month off. Who the deal with Dak? Take another week off.
Take a month off.
Who cares at this point?
Take it all off.
That kind of affects what I want to do for my pick, though.
Well, they did set a line,
and I'll tell you this much because I was close.
I think it's based on Dak playing.
And if this was a playoff game, he would have played tonight.
I think it's kind of like that's what it would have been.
Well, I made my choice thinking Dak was playing.
I have minus 11 for the Cowboys.
Oh, my God.
Wow.
It's minus seven.
I said six and a half, not 11.
You think that's based on him not playing?
They're playing the Denver Broncos?
The four and four playoff bound Denver Broncos, apparently.
Oh, my God.
They stink.
Yeah, maybe it should be a little higher.
Maybe it should be a little higher.
That line will be nine and a half by Wednesday.
I'm putting that.
I might tease the Cowboys as soon as we finish this podcast.
We are damn good.
That feels like a Thanksgiving game that we would lose outright, but we're so good.
The Broncos can't score.
How many?
I'm going to look this up now.
They've scored 157 points.
That's not terrible.
In eight games?
Yeah, so that's less than 20.
But they scored 17 today.
They're not good.
I had them against Cleveland two weeks ago.
24 against the Raiders, 19 against the Steelers, They scored 17 today. They're not good. I had them against Cleveland two weeks ago. They weren't, you know, Bridgewater.
24 against the Raiders, 19 against the Steelers,
seven against the Ravens.
Those are their last four weeks.
I'm not impressed.
I think you should be favored by more.
Saints-Falcons.
God, I put this right in the Vegas zone.
It's in New Orleans.
I have no idea who the Saints quarterback is.
And I'm going to say Saints by five and a half.
Do we split this?
I said six.
Oh, no, you get it.
It's five.
Vegas zone.
You can smell it.
Yeah, I don't want anything to do with this.
This is where Matt Ryan just bites you in the ass.
Big, big old chunk right out of your buttocks.
This is where you want Matt Ryan when he's getting
five points on the road.
His fans can't boo him.
There's no pressure.
I'm with you. I want no part of it, though.
I'm excited to see young Taysom Hill finally get a chance.
Are you really?
This young kid.
Yeah, finally getting the car keys.
Oh no, he's 30.
Well, we'll find out.
I felt bad for Jameis.
He's never going to get revenge on his old team.
Yeah, I mean, that's a sucky thing that he has to watch someone else win against, right?
Against Tampa.
It seems like that was a bad knee injury.
Oh, yeah, no.
Yeah, yeah.
No, he's out for a little bit.
I would be the most mad.
I'd be mad if I got injured in a football game regardless.
But to get injured on an illegal play would really make me mad.
Right.
Like, you get injured on a horse collar.
Like, when the cart's taking you away, I'd be like middle finger to the guy.
Flipping everyone off.
Fuck you!
Yeah.
Hey, give me the keys to this cart.
I got a couple assholes I want to run over you! Yeah. Hey, give me the keys to this cart. I got a couple assholes
I want to run over here.
We have the car keys.
Next one is
Raiders at the Giants.
We have two, actually.
I'm going to do these
both together.
Raiders at Giants,
Chargers at Eagles.
Two AFC West teams
at two terrible
NFC East teams.
I think both of the
AFC West teams
would be favored.
I went Raiders minus two and a half
and I went Chargers minus one and a half.
You went light on...
Okay, you get the Raiders one.
I said four and a half.
It's three.
Raiders minus three.
But I get the Chargers one
because I said four and it's three.
I don't know where that leaves us.
So I have Miles Sanders in two leagues.
All year, they never gave him the ball.
They have five carries a game.
They'd be like, what's wrong?
Do they hate this guy?
He misses today and it's like the running fest against the Lions.
Four running back touchdowns.
Jordan Howard off whatever.
I didn't even know he was still alive.
He got one.
And Miles Sanders just swatching it.
Made me mad.
I don't, you know, another team I have to be done with.
The Lions really, there might be something to them being a bad team.
There really might be something to it.
We made money on them, though, this year if they have the worst record.
We did.
And you know what?
That was a gift from Fandel.
I think you allowed me three futures bets, and I gave out.
Fandle had a plus 250.
Lions and Texans under four and a half wins, both of them.
I was like, oh, God.
We bet that, didn't we?
Yes, we did.
Combined, they're not going to get there.
I mean, they can't, right?
That's great.
Poop Vecta has two games.
Dolphins home for the Texans.
The Texans are one and seven, and the Dolphins are 1-7.
It's the battle of the 1-7, Sal.
That's what I'm calling it.
There's some weird Watson stuff where there were a lot of rumors
that he might get traded to Miami
and that they're going to immediately put him on the commissioner's exempt list.
He was going to...
Who knew?
Shouldn't this be for the trade?
Like whatever the difference is in negotiating.
Like let's say they want three ones and a two.
But he misses seven weeks.
Yeah, but they only want to give up three ones and a three.
Like shouldn't this be for, all right, winner gets to dictate the terms.
Something.
Oh, that would be fun.
Yeah. Deshaun Watson. Like a haircut match in wrestling or something. Something. Oh, that would be fun. Yeah.
Deshaun Watson. Like a haircut match in wrestling or something.
Right, right, right.
Yeah, a second round pick in the Watson thing is at stake.
Mm-hmm.
So,
I can't believe the Dolphins are 1-7.
And I can't believe their one win was against Patriots
where we're running the ball into the end zone
and about to win the game and Harris fumbles.
They really could be 0-8.
That's your worst loss in years.
Right?
Yeah. That one.
This team's going to have three wins.
Yeah, it's bad.
I have the Dolphins favored by
seven over the Texans.
You nailed it. And I don't see that much difference
between these two teams. I said four,
but it is seven.
But I don't know. The Dolphins are a
sexier version than the Texans, but
just not whatever. They have two of us.
So what? Can't move the ball.
I like when
they traded Ingram and multiple
Texans were just bummed out by it. That's always
a bad stage to hit when you're a football team.
Right.
Where your players are just like, oh, thanks, man.
It's like if you're working in some office that's falling apart
and then it's like, hey, we've traded the custodian.
We're no longer going to have a custodian.
He's been traded to another office.
It's like, oh, man, really?
Can he leave the mop?
No.
Yeah, Mark Ingram's gone.
But Philip Lindsay will now be handling the duties.
Yeah.
They're not good.
They're bad.
Yeah, they're pretty bad.
I don't think that Miami's that much better.
The other poop fact of the game is Bill's Jags.
It's in Jacksonville.
And after what we saw from Jacksonville today,
I don't remember the last time a team has been favored
by more than two touchdowns on the road,
much less 17 points.
Well, weren't the Rams today?
Were they on the road for that?
I guess they were.
They were in Houston.
So I remember the last time.
It was four hours ago.
I'm going to say Bills by 17.
Oh, did I get this?
I did.
I said 11 and a half. It by 17. Oh, did I get this? I did. I said 11 and a half.
It's 14.
Oh, Jesus.
I edged you out.
Wait a minute.
This is important.
It's six to six with two left, I believe.
Oh, I nailed the Sunday night.
I know I did.
Did you?
Okay.
I know in my bones.
You got a point and a half leeway here.
I was off.
Sunday night, Rams-Titans.
Rams are on.
I think this is in the Vegas zone because the Titans are weird.
I have the Rams by five and a half against the Titans.
You did get it.
It's six.
I said five.
Three, four, five, six, seven to one, three, four, five, six.
All right.
Titans looking like a delicious underdog parlay of the week candidate.
I mean, crap.
How many of these are they going to win?
Feisty team.
And do you think they had that one weird COVID game at the beginning that they lost?
Right.
So they're 5-1 in all the games where they didn't have a COVID outbreak?
They lost to the Jets.
And then they lost that Jets game and they didn't have their receivers.
So both losses were actually explainable.
They never should have won the game today, though.
Monday night, Steelers, Bears.
It's in Pittsburgh.
Fields had a couple holy shit plays today.
Positive or negative?
Positive.
He had a run.
I'm sure people saw it because it's going to be in the highlights.
But he had a run that was like watching a high school player
who's just a better athlete than everybody else in the field
just zooming through everybody.
It was unbelievable.
Bill, I was going to say, this is the first week
I really thought he belonged in today's NFL.
Oh, that's a good talking head put.
Really?
No, but I agree with you.
And I was probably looking at exactly the same two or three plays, but
he had confidence today that I hadn't seen in the last few weeks.
Sal, what I'm seeing from Justin Fields is a guy who the game is slowing down for.
That young man. That young man? You mean that young man?
He is a freak athlete and the game is slowing down for him.
I love when they do that.
They can't come up with the points
and they just say the game's slowed down.
You can just say that for everything.
The podcast is slowing down for me.
It's really slowed down.
Yeah, I'm really seeing the podcast right now.
Steelers-Browns Monday night.
No, what?
I mean Steelers-Bears.
Bears-Steelers, yeah.
I just have trouble putting this over
seven with
Roethlisberger
and I don't know
about these Bears
injuries
so I'm gonna say
six and a half
for the Steelers
son of a bitch
you got it exactly
hmm
yeah exactly
I said five
I thought five
would be enough
good job by you
you win
four four one now can I make a proclamation sure nobody No, exactly. I said five. I thought five would be enough. Good job by you. You win.
4-4-1 now.
Can I make a proclamation?
Sure.
Nobody's allowed to tease the Steelers in this game.
Just stay away.
No, no.
No, don't put Roethlisberger in a tease.
Just don't.
No.
Because if those guys all come back,
what if the defenders come back and the Bears?
Mm-hmm.
All right, so you like Dallas on a teaser,
and you like...
Oh, I don't know.
I like Baltimore. Baltimore over Minnesota, yeah.
I think Minnesota is dead man walking after
that game. That's pretty nice.
When you have a coach who's clearly
on his way out and a quarterback
who's clearly run his course,
if I have those
two variables at the midway
point of my season, I'm going to get you.
Yeah.
I think that's like the light
in the eyes just starts flickering
out. You don't think the game is slowing
down for Kirk Cousins or Mike Zimmer?
I think my Minnesota
picks are slowing down and I figured them out.
Alright, we're going to take a break. Come back
talk succession and Parent Corner.
All right, let's do Parent Corner first
then Succession because if people haven't seen it,
we don't want to spoil it for them.
Parent Corner, what do you got?
All right. Well, not much. We just had a house
full of like 40 people who they congregate
here and then they go and trick or treat
and it's mostly family.
And,
you know,
people asking me the same question over and over about the Cowboys.
So what is,
why isn't the quarterback in?
Why isn't he,
when did they know he wasn't in?
Why isn't he coming?
Oh Jesus,
please let me watch this game.
So they finally leave.
But the week leading up,
I don't know how it is by you.
Do you know what it's like to get booed?
I know you know what it's like to get booed, but the term booed, as far as our kids are concerned. What does it mean?
It's people come to your door, kids come to your door with like a little pouch full of candy,
and they ring and run, but they leave candy. And then your kids have to try to like chase them
down. I don't know what happens once they chase them down, but to identify them. And once you identify them as the boers, you get to do, I don't know what the, I'm not sure what
the consequences are. It's kind of stupid because we all have ring now. So we could tell, all right,
you don't have to save your breath. You don't have to chase down a little Alex because we know we
see him on ring doing it. But as they're running running around i am just eating massive amounts of candy
i'm like uh johnny sack's wife just collecting the charleston shoes and sitting in my room and
just like she catches me and i'm busted so um that's really it uh there's not much more to the
parent corner other than my kids are running around uh needlessly while i stop my face with
sugar it sounds like that could go badly. Yeah. Yeah.
I'm sure we'll read an article about that.
Wait,
like when do like the 15,
16 year olds start playing this game and then it goes sideways.
Yeah.
Booze gone bad.
Yeah,
for sure.
It's going to go bad for me.
I'm going to get diabetes in the next checkout,
checkup for sure.
I have a,
a double parent corner.
One is my daughter started her own podcast a couple of weeks ago. It's called
Teen Patrol. She wanted to keep doing it. And I was like, it's football, basketball. I don't have
room for you on my pod. Well, she's like, let me do my pod. I'm like, well, it's not going to be
in the ringer. She's like, I still want to do it. So she's been doing it. She's done a couple.
The last one, I learned a lot about my daughter. And I've realized the best way to actually,
because your kids, they basically stop talking to you
when they turn 13, right?
Right, sure.
You either overhear stuff or there might be a car ride
where you wear them down after an hour
where you might get a couple morsels.
Or maybe you devote a segment that a million people could hear
where you shit on them.
That's why they stop talking to us.
Yeah, maybe that's what they do.
So a couple of things I learned from this podcast she did with her friend oh one is that when she does
something wrong and you know my wife will is not opposed to doing some yelling she says she does
the three-hour rule she'll go hide in her room for three hours. Then after three hours, come out and be super, super apologetic about whatever she did wrong. And that diffuses my wife. And I'm like,
it was kind of like, you know, when it's, when it's your kid, it's, it's, it's like your,
your NFC East opponent, you're trying to outwit two times a year and you're trying to figure out
their playbook and stuff. And this podcast, what I realized is it's this playbook of things
that I kind of needed to know.
She was going on with her.
This is great. I'm really enjoying that.
Wait, hold on a second. Do you look at that
as being a grown-up move or
devious?
What? Just the thing where she stays
in a room for three hours and then comes out all nice.
But did you look at it like, wow, that's a cool way to handle it or are you like oh boy if my wife heard this she'd be
pissed i thought it was really smart but now it's like next time she does that move i'm just gonna
walk by her door and go i know you're doing the three hour rule it's not gonna work i'm gonna be
mad in three hours tick tick tick i do that anyway so the pods tea patrol she's really good though
um and then the other thing my son so he wanted to go to the mall again yesterday oh no with his Tick, tick, tick. I did that anyway. So the Pods Tea Patrol. She's really good though.
And then the other thing, my son.
So he wanted to go to the mall again yesterday.
Oh, no.
With his friends.
I told you what happened last week.
Skateboard or no skateboard?
Skateboard.
I thought the skateboard.
Couple hours in, text, hey, go into a friend's house with Jackson and Lucci, his two friends.
My wife's like, oh, Ben's going to go to a friend's house.
He's going to send us the address.
I'm immediately suspicious.
I'm like, what friend?
What's the friend?
Ask him who the friend is.
Ben just replies, sends the address of where he's going to.
And it's this address that's on a street.
It just doesn't seem like a friend.
He would have a friend in the street.
So now I'm like, all right, fucking call him.
So we call him. It's like,
what friend are you going to? Just a friend of Jackson's.
Who's the friend?
Blah, blah, blah.
He's a lot of stuttering and stammering. I'm like,
well, when you get there,
just put the parents on so we can talk to
him. No, I'm not.
All right, it's kind of a party.
You're 13. What party?
He's turning 14 tomorrow, by the way. What do you mean it's a party? It's a Halloween party. It's not a a party. Like what are you? You're 13. What party? He's turning 14 tomorrow, by the way.
What do you mean it's a party? It's a Halloween party. It's not, it's not like, it's not a party
party. It's just like a Halloween thing. We go and it's like 55 people there, all kids like around
his age. And then he pick them up at 10 o'clock. We come from dinner and he gets in and he's like,
oh yeah, that party was lit. I'm like, what happened?
He's like, I don't know.
People were skateboarding and people were making fun of each other
and there was some candy.
It was like kind of starter party.
Maybe there was more bad stuff in there that he wasn't telling us about.
But it was the first time he really tried to lie to us about going to a party.
I bring this up because he's
only in the eighth grade. I really
feel like I'm now putting on my seatbelt
and getting ready for the next couple years.
The good thing is for people like us,
I know all his moves.
He does the
thing like, I'm going to a friend of Jackson's.
It's like, you just have to
turn into like...
Yeah, you're poking prod a little bit.
You get it.
Who's the friend?
Where is it?
Who else is going to be there?
Once they have trouble just answering stuff immediately,
you know they're full of shit.
Well, why don't you give him his own podcast,
he and Jackson,
then you'll learn even more about it, right?
That's true.
It would be a terrible podcast.
Great for you.
It would just be his bad takes.
He thinks Elon Musk is one of the most important
americans because he created the tesla that was one of his takes today i asked him i asked him
give me give me your greatest take right now he's like elon musk is one of the most important
americans because he created the tesla i'm like what are you talking about anyway he's like shut
up old man you put ben roethlisberger in your top 10. Don't tell me about bad takes.
Anyway, that's parent quarter.
And speaking of sons who might cause their fathers some heartaches today,
this was an incredible succession episode.
Oh, man.
I thought they paved the way for episode three.
Incredible Kendall episode.
Big twists and turns.
It really got there.
They laid all the groundwork for the first two with this one,
and it paid off and was, I thought, one of the best ones.
Are we not allowed to spoil it?
I know you're speaking generic.
The pod will be done after this,
so if people haven't watched it yet, just turn it off now.
Yeah, go to extrapoints.com for all your sports gambling.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Extra points against the hot spot.
It doesn't matter. No, but, oh, yeah, yeah. Extra points. No, it's okay. Against all odds. It doesn't matter.
No, but, oh, yeah, Jesus, the Rape Me song while Shiv was speaking, doing the speaking
engagement.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
It's so hard.
It escalated.
Jesus Christ.
And I was like, how did they get the rights to the Nirvana song?
Yeah.
It's notoriously the hardest band to get.
So Dave Grohl must be a Succession fan.
They do. That was great. That's how much money they have, Bill. They could buy the Nirvana. So Dave Grohl must be a Succession fan. They do.
That was great.
That's how much money they have, Bill.
They could buy the Nirvana.
No, no, wait.
That part's fake.
But my favorite part was in the limo
playing Good Tweet, Bad Tweet.
Good Tweet, Bad Tweet.
That's a Good Tweet, Bad Tweet.
And it made me think,
you should do it with the Ringer staff.
You should do...
Good Tweet, Bad Tweet?
I know you won't,
so I'm going to do it with you right now.
I'll read a good tweet. I know you won't. So I'm going to do it with you right now. I'll read a good tweet.
Only Bill we trust is Bill Simmons.
That's good.
I think that's when Belichick.
Are you making these up?
No, no, no.
I read.
I went back and read a couple.
I went back.
That's a good tweet.
Bill Simmons wrote this whole long article about being a Tottenham fan and then gave
up after like three months.
That's a bad tweet?
Bad-ish?
I don't know.
I had a kid.
To be fair, I did have a second kid.
Oh, was that back then?
Yeah.
I didn't know it was at all.
No, that's fair.
It was like 2007.
All right.
Bill Simmons is a more tolerable Skip Bayless at this point.
That's a good tweet, I think.
That's kind of a bad tweet, too.
That's it.
No, you're ahead.
You're ahead.
All right, we'll stop. We don't need to play this game. That's kind of a bad tweet too. That's it. No, you're ahead. You're ahead. All right, we'll stop.
We don't need to play this game.
That's enough.
Well, when they did it with Kendall,
they had that last one
where it was just
the cut super deep.
Yeah, right.
And then Kendall was like,
boo.
Sometimes the games you make up
are not the best.
I said this to House
when we did
the 25 succession characters.
I think that Jeremy Strong, the guy who plays Kendall,
I think it's the best acting performance on HBO since Gandolfini.
Wow.
I think all the things he's doing with that part, show to show,
I'm just in awe of that dude.
I can't believe how good he is.
The way you can just read his face
for certain moments,
and you're basically staring into his soul,
I can't
get over it. He's unbelievable.
He's excellent.
I'm trying to think of, I'm not even just saying this
because it's HBO, but
Piven on
Entourage, but
next level and smarter
and the dialogue is great.
But Piven can never do
the serious stuff like this guy can do.
Yeah, for sure.
I was trying to think, is there anyone on Game of Thrones
who was as good as him? And the only one
close was Dinklage.
Because Dinklage was...
He had the same kind of moments.
I think, I just think the show kind of ebbs and flows with this performance.
Because if it's not the right actor, an episode like that third one, I don't know if it hits the same way.
Yeah, you're right.
Because for some reason I'm rooting for him, but he's a complete jackass.
He's lonesome.
He's a terrible son.
He has no credentials whatsoever. And then
you see him in the end sitting in the electrical closet, basically, and your heart's breaking for
this guy. And it's like, why do I feel bad for this guy? Because they're all lonesome. They're
all the father's lonesome. And I think whoever's getting ganged up on is who you're going to root
for, right? True. At this point, there'll be four or five, you know, kind of, you know, I don't know.
I think there'll be Mr. X and probably it'll be loaded the other way where you might not root for him.
I'm not sure.
Oh, Isaac suggests Hayter on Barry.
Hayter on Barry is pretty good.
Oh, great.
I don't know if he's, I'd still have Strong.
That's a good final four candidate.
Super Dave.
I'm voting Super Dave.
Yeah, before we go, I wanted to ask you about that.
You didn't know about this.
You didn't have time to process it.
Super Dave's reaction
to his brother Albert Brooks
taking his Curb Your Enthusiasm
quarter.
I don't think he would have liked it.
I don't want to get into it too much, but he would not have liked it.
I don't want him to come off looking like an asshole,
but I feel like they knew what they were doing there a little bit.
Right?
What do you think his reaction was in heaven?
Oh, Jesus!
What is happening?
Well, you remember we had, who was the Hamilton guy?
Why did I forget his name?
Oh, Lin-Manuel Miranda.
Well, I mean, we had that podcast and he was not pleased that Lin-Manuel Miranda,
and maybe, maybe he told us that off the podcast and we brought it back on the podcast that he's
maybe not the biggest fan.
Oh, yeah.
He told us before, so we kept circling back to it and then he kept getting madder and madder.
If you bring that name up one more
time, I swear to God, I'm
hanging up and no one
will ever listen to this podcast again.
No one listens right now.
I think he'd have a similar reaction
to his brother, unfortunately
being cast. That was
one of my seven or eight favorite podcasts
I've ever done. It was super Dave.
It was a lot of fun.
He had his eight prepared jokes.
Are you
done?
Oh my God.
All right, Sal.
ExtraPoints.com
against all odds. Four times a week now
against all odds. Yeah, we're on a lot.
I know you're laughing.
You're like,
ah, you're really
spreading yourself thin
and I know I'm doing it wrong.
No, it's football basketball season.
That's right.
There's a lot.
There's a lot going on.
College football.
College basketball starts too.
So yeah, check that out
against all odds,
extra points.
Megan, fun of sports.
We got a lot of stuff
going on.
Extrapoints.com
and I need 31 points
out of Graham Gonneau
to beat you in fantasy.
I don't think that's
happening. Where's the Super Bowl this year?
Dallas? It's here. What are you talking about? It's LA.
Yeah. We got to go.
Have you seriously started
having the conversation with yourself
on Dallas and the Super Bowl
and tickets and who's going with you
and all that stuff? No, not yet.
You haven't mentally gone down that road.
No, I still think we're fourth best
in the NFC. I'll get
there. I'll get there. Don't worry about it.
How hilarious would a Pat Stowell
Super Bowl be? They owe us,
don't they? That would be
the funniest fucking outcome.
By the way, it's not like anyone's
that good in the AFC. I know.
It can't be ruled out.
I'm not betting it's my team.
So, wait a minute.
Let's parlay that together real quick.
That would be…
That's got to be like 125 to 1.
Patriots are 31 to 1 and 5 to 1.
That's like 125 to 1, 130 to 1.
188 to 1.
Oh, my God.
Let's do it.
That's a winner.
I don't know if I… I think we'd have a tough time recovering from that one. Probably have to avoid each other for a one. Oh my God. Let's do it. That's a winner. I don't know if I... I think we'd have a tough time
recovering from that one.
Probably have to avoid each other for a while.
I know, but if we collected, we wouldn't even care
who won, right? That's true. We're all winners.
All right, Sal, as always, good job by you.
Good job by you, buddy.
Tonight's podcast
was produced by Isaac Lee because
nephew Kyle was at the Pats Chargers game
doing his thing.
Thanks to Isaac.
We'll be back on this podcast on Tuesday.
Don't forget about the rewatchables Monday night,
the three heat, as well as prestige TV podcast,
me and Joe House breaking down
Curb Your Enthusiasm episode two.
I will see you here on Tuesday.