The Bill Simmons Podcast - Wide Right (Again), Alpha Mahomes, the Lucky 49ers, Playoff Diarrhea, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal

Episode Date: January 22, 2024

The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss another "holy shit" Chiefs-Bills matchup, Lions-Buccaneers, the 49ers escaping the Packers, and the Ravens' decisive win over the Texans (2:05) before they guess the lines for the conference championship games (1:00:30). They then close the show with Parent Corner (1:06:30). Host: Bill Simmons Guest: Cousin Sal Producer: Kyle Crichton The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming, please checkout theringer.com/RG to find out more or listen to the end of the episode for additional details. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

coming up, the pain of Buffalo and lots of other round two storylines with Cousin Sal next. This episode is brought to you by my old friend, Miller Lite. I've been a big fan of Miller Lite, man, since college days when I was allowed to have beer. I think nephew Kyle is a fan too. Miller Lite keeps it simple for us. Undebatable quality, great taste. Picture this, it's game day. All the gang's here. You're tailgating outside the stadium. It's a great time for beer.

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where I have a new rewatch of what's coming for you on Monday night. It involves a movie that has one of the five biggest stars the last 40 years in it and maybe even two of the five biggest stars. Who knows? Maybe we got super wacky with it. So that's happening.

The Prestige TV Podcast. I hope you're checking it out. We did season five finale recap of Fargo with Joanna and Rob. They had the showrunner Noah Hawley on. They are also breaking down every episode of True Detective for us right after they go up.

And I think people are getting behind that show, so we might do a Friday predictions podcast about True Detective as well. Stay tuned for that this week on Prestige with Van and Charles, just trying to predict what's going to happen for the next episode. On that Prestige TV podcast, Andy Greenwald's new show, it's called Stick the Landing. They did the first episode with Mallory Rubin and Andy, the series finale of Friday Night Lights,

one of the most beloved shows of the 21st century. And that's going to be the whole point of this show. I'm really excited about this show. It is basically the last episode of some of the memorable, great shows of all time. How they're different, what they say about the show, what they say about the era they're in. And Andy's one of the best.

I've been working with Andy since 2011. I love the guy. Stick the landing. You can find that on the Prestige TV. Lots of good stuff going on there. Coming up on this podcast, the Cous. Cous and Sal after a memorable round two

NFL playoffs. Next, first our friends from ProJap. All right, we're taping this. It is 7.05 Pacific time on Sunday. The under wins. Under 7.05 Pacific time on Sunday. The under wins. Under 7.16 wins. Under 7. What was the wins?

PM. I don't know. Oh. I'm not done gambling. Wow. Just trying to sneak one more in. New level losing, the deja vu gut punch. The Bills, they miss on the 44-yard wide.

I almost like, rarely in sports when you're watching sports do you go, I mean, we see everything. All we do is watch sports. We gamble on sports. We just are immersed in it. Rarely do you have the moment where you're like, oh, my God, that's what happened? He pushed it right.

That's how they're going to lose? And you're just like, you know, 35 years of football history comes flying at you in this one moment. Chiefs win. Mahomes beats Allen again. And somehow Scott Norwood is now involved in this game. I almost think like if Sean McDermott could have talked to him before he went out to make that kick, like, listen, if you're going to miss, just shank it left or get it blocked. Just get it blocked.

Just kick it in the head. Or kick the holder in the head. Do something different. It can't be far right. The only thing I'll say to Bills fans, and I have a lot of Bills fans friends, take solace knowing that had he made the kick, the Chiefs would have come down and scored and won on a more heartbreaking fashion, I think.

Well, you think, how many lucky breaks did the Bills have in this game and they still lose? We have the fumble that's just bouncing around and somehow the Chiefs don't get that. We have the Chiefs who get the fake punt on fourth and five and somehow get no points. We get McCole Hardman first and goal from the one

fumbling into the end zone. Allen had a drop pick. I mean, on the flip side, I guess Allen could have hit Diggs on that late one, but the Chiefs were almost nine yards of play. It felt like, other than that one time in the fourth quarter, they really couldn't stop them, the Bills' defense. I just didn't feel like the Bills did quite enough to win.

They had explosive plays. How many did they have? Three long balls, and they went over three in those, right? And if they were just missing that one awesome kind of game-tilting play, they just couldn't get it. Yeah, I'm with you, but I do think it was like a tale of two games. I think the Chiefs

defense figured it out to a point where they made the late third quarter, fourth quarter a little bit boring. Defensive plays after we had seen touchdown, touchdown, touchdown, Allen running up and down the field, throwing forward passes that weren't forward passes, whatever. He seemed to be able to do whatever he wanted and they were running the ball, but then that stopped and they got in their way. And you're right, the Bills couldn't convert.

I felt like they should have thrown a little more or something. I don't know. They couldn't do it. They couldn't get it together in the fourth quarter for sure. They need that big play. You're right. Yeah. The adjustment that I don't know if the chiefs, maybe Alan was just taking so many hits that he just decided to not run as much, but whatever, they were able to take his legs out of it a little bit and then also take away the deep pass. And it was like run play, shorter pass, shorter pass, long pass not working, but Allen not being able to get the 13 yarder with his legs. They just kind of shut it down. It was 27-24 Chiefs in the fourth quarter right after,

or it was actually 26-24. They scored a touchdown. Penalty on the extra point goes to the one. All year we've watched every coach in the league is like, oh, cool, we've watched every coach in the league is like, oh, cool. We'll take the two points. And especially the Chiefs, who are running in for like eight yards a carry. And they're like, no, actually,

we'll take the penalty and the kickoff, which they promptly kick into the end zone, so it doesn't even matter. So when they didn't do that, I was like, uh-oh, mark that play down. Then they get the fake punt. Well, you want 26-24. Even if they miss, you want that, right? Because then spread-wise, mark that play down. Then they get the fake punt. Well, you want 26-24. Even if they miss, you want that, right?

Because then spread-wise, you're looking good. Oh, yeah, because I had Chiefs plus two and a half. I had Chiefs money line. But I'm just like, the Bills are probably going to score again here. I want the extra point because then even if the Bills go up 31-28 now, I have that, you know,

now at least I'm within a field goal. So they give that up. I'm like, all right, mark that down. within a field goal so they give that up I'm like alright mark that down then fourth and five they run that fake punt which Romo was trying to explain like that's a smart play Jim it's a smart play they only had ten guys in the field Jim and I'm like smart play

the guy got tackled behind the line of scrimmage I'm not going to go smart play no but if you you would do that every time first of all they might have maybe gone for it anyway on fourth and five and not getting punt formation. But if you hear

10 guys are on the field, figure out where the 11th guy is supposed to be and run it there. And granted, you got to give it to the comeback player of the year. I have no problem with that. Maybe he was hoping if he got that, that would lock it up after Flacco's playoff. I think all the votes are in.

The votes are in already. Sorry. Yikes. So Casey Ball, they get down to the one. McCall Hartman, who's one of the, him and Tony are two of the guys where you're just like, I don't want you involved in this game at all in any way. Like just put them in street clothes and they run the sweep.

As they're running the sweep, I swear to God, they're doing it. I'm like, oh God, oh no, he's going to fumble. I didn't think he'd fumble out of bounds, but it's just like who is a more likely fumble candidate? He fumbles. They get it back. Allen throws deep to Shurfield who had that diving

50-yarder and it seems like he could have caught it and couldn't keep his hand under it, so they give it back. Casey has that passing experience. Why are the guys arguing, by the way? If you know you didn't catch it, what are you doing? We're going to watch it again. Right. So then Casey has the not a three and out, but they get the pass interference.

Then they just have a terrible three plays. They're out. Buffalo's coming back. Allen fumbles. Casey can't get it. They get that Shakir fourth down swing pass, which I was watching with my dad because my dad's here. We were like, the Pats have run that swing pass on crucial downs, I would say, 20 times this year and went 0 for 20.

Allen, it's a 10-yarder. Now you're thinking like, oh my God, Buffalo, here we go. Then he misses Diggs for the TD, and then he misses the field away. Diggs can calm down. Diggs is a very angry guy for someone who doesn't come through. Who hasn't had a 100-yard game since Halloween? Yeah, yeah, right. Khalil Shakir has outgained you

in the last month and a half. So when he lined up for the field goal, and this has been a disjointed game for, I would say, 40 minutes, where it was like, oh my God, they have five straight touchdowns and it just seems like both teams are moving it like nuts.

And now all of a sudden, we just had everything I just read. The guy goes out, are you even, in your mind, are you thinking Miss Fogel? Because I wasn't even, it wasn't even 1% in my brain for some reason. I was calculating, all right, Mahomes, why did they waste that timeout earlier?

He only has two because they called that timeout on first and 10. And my mind was there and all of a sudden it's going the wrong way. No, like I said, I didn't even care if it went in. They're losing that game. A minute 47, two timeouts.

Mahomes has scored on them with 13 seconds left. They were definitely going down the field and Butker is a more reliable kicker anyway. So I know you can't go on fourth and nine there, but a field goal was a lousy option, I thought, even to tie it. Oh, so you would have gone for the fourth and nine?

I don't know. It's just so... Ah, Bill, I don't know. Fourth and seven. Fourth and seven I go for, but nine's too long. And then they cut to the fans and it's just like

are they number one? I know we do this because the Vikes are involved and the Lions are involved who's the other team? there's four, and the Browns Cowboys, oh no, yeah, alright, yeah Browns, yeah the Bills have had the most of these

the Vikings have had approximately a lot of these, but it feels like the Bills have had the most of these. The Vikings have had approximately a lot of these, but it feels like the Bills have had the worst ones. The Bills fans are the best. I mean, I don't want to fight it, but it wasn't even snowing, and they found snow to throw out the opposing receivers. Yeah, did they bring their own snow?

I think you brought your own snow in the state. Did they hand it out to the fans as they were coming in? But yeah, it's terrible. And I was thinking like, well, can't have the Lions and Bills fans happy in one day, right? It wasn't going to happen that way. Right. Yeah, it sucks for them. I think they would have a lot of trouble next week, though.

We'll get to that game anyway against the Ravens. But yeah, I mean, he was. But again, if their offense looks so crisp in the first half. Then you think, like, oh, this is going to be tough for the Chiefs to stop. They really did hand it to them. They only gave up seven in the second half. Well, especially, we were texting with the Wise Guys group about the Chiefs lost three defensive starters in that first half.

Right. In that halftime, I had a lot of Chiefs stuff. I had the money line. I had the plus two and a half. I had them in teases. I had the 13 two and a half. I had them in teases. I had the 13-point tease that you guys made fun of all weekend. And I'm like, I would love to hedge this, and I can't. There was just no way.

The Bills were up four at halftime. And I'm like, all right, got to ride out the Chiefs. It ends up being they run 76 plays, and Kansas City runs 47. Buffalo has the ball for 37 minutes. Kansas City has it for 23. But the difference, KC is 7.7 yards a play and Buffalo is 4.7. And that 4.7 was at like six

and just kept getting worse and worse. They kept getting stuff. Yeah, that was mostly first half. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not even sure what the Chiefs figured out. Chiefs without the kneel downs is almost nine yards. It was like eight and a half or something. Yeah.

Yeah, it was, I don't know. It was an exciting game. I don't know. Like I said, the last third quarter and fourth quarter with a little cat and mouse where I feel like too many people are blaming the refs. I'm like, okay, how about somebody make a big play here so it doesn't come down to the refs?

Wouldn't that be nice just for once? But yeah, it stinks because Allen is such, he's the man. Like he really carried that team in the first half. Again, I'm not going to keep mentioning it, but it really looked like they were on their way to putting this thing away. I agree. He had a very good game. At the same time, there were a couple of plays he did not make in the second half that I

bet when they look at the tape, he's going to be kicking himself. I think, you know, we were saying all week, this is the biggest game of his career in a lot of ways. He's got to get over the Casey hump. He's got to beat Mahomes in a playoff game. He's going to be the big winner out of this. Peter Schrager and I talked about this Thursday. It's like, all right, good morning football, 7.01 AM on Monday morning. What's your lead topic? Is it, oh my God, Mahomes? Or is it, oh man, Buffalo, oh man, Josh Allen? And that's what it turned out to be. Allen's becoming a semi-tragic sports figure because he is one of the best players in the league and has been now for five years and he can knock it over the hump. And he's just, these losses are starting to add up now and he's right there. And it comes down to one player, one play that they didn't make or one play the other team made. And it felt like all this stuff was lining up today. It was like, this is the game. It's like Hardman just fumbled it into the end zone. The dumbest rule in any sport where somehow it goes to the 20. This is it. This is your get out of jail free card. And they still couldn't in their home and they still couldn't do it. Yeah.

And you talk about your 13 point tees and everything. How much would you have hedged if I would have told you, all right, Bill's are going to run for 182 and Alan's not going to throw an interception. I mean, he's perfect. I think he was like 12 and 0 when he doesn't throw an interception, right?

And Mahomes didn't either, which was just a spectacular back and forth. The difference is you kind of know what you're getting. Yesterday when the 49ers had the ball down a few points with the last drive, they were a minus 160 favorite. Today when the Bills had the ball down a few points driving to win, they were a minus 160 underdog or plus 160 underdog. Like, wow, how is that?

You have the home crowd and everything else. Like the Chiefs are the Chiefs. They figure it out one way or another. That's good information, Sal. That's a good job by you. That's a good job by you, Sal. I made up most of those numbers, but yes. Well, it was interesting.

What was the game we watched a week ago or two weeks ago? It was Indianapolis-Houston. When part of the final drive became about, we want to chew up as much clock as possible so they don't get the ball back. And it actually kind of fucked up the drive. I felt a little like that with the Buffalo drive near the end. It was like, ah, eight minutes.

Can we string this out? How long can we kind of just keep grinding out and getting inside the 20 and making it and just maybe Mahomes never gets the ball back, but they lost all their explosiveness. And then they took the one shot on digs and didn't get it. The thing that stinks is the one more thing about Josh Allen. That was the best play of the game.

Him rolling left and hitting Shakira in the end zone. That was spectacular. He threw an absolute frozen rope. And that was on third and long, right? Yeah. Another play where you think, Oh my God, this is their year. an absolute frozen rope. Yeah, and that was on third and long, right? Yeah. So another play where you think, oh my God, this is their year. This is their everything.

Well, first series, third and 17, they get it. You think like, all right, that's a nice start. Then they got that third and 13. He did hit a couple of third and longs. Would you say he's the second best player in the league? Josh Allen, second best player. Throw MVP away. Throw everything away.

Just like, who are the best players in the league? And Mahomes is first. And I think Allen, would you have him second or would you put somebody else there? Well, what about Lamar Jackson, who's actually probably going to make the Super Bowl? Well, we haven't seen him even in a conference finals yet, though. All right.

So you would have Lamar Jackson over Josh? I'd put Lamar over him, yeah. That's probably fair. So Josh is third? A couple of Cowboys linebackers, but yeah. I think he's good. He's good enough to get third right now. I was thinking of the...

I was trying to figure out if there was a rivalry championship belt that got passed over the last however many years. Because right now it does feel like it's mahomes allen i don't feel like it's mahomes lamar maybe that starts next week but before that it was brady mahomes oh yeah and then then i had brady goodell that was a fucking phenomenal two-year rivalry that was awesome brady manning until manning finally started to deteriorate physically and then what Brady Manning really is

it goes back to I would say 2002-2001 range then it gets weird like I had trouble figuring out the early 2000s late 90s

I thought Barry and Emmett was the best rivalry in the 90s in a lot of ways OJ and Nicole a lot of people would have that one nice

there was Marino Montana even though they only went against each other in the 84 Super Bowl but they were always kind of they were the two

and then and then Elway was kind of over here as like this uh one man wrecking crew but we always felt like Marino Montana

were just kind of slightly higher what are any other rivalries uh I'm trying to think because Jerry Rice and really nobody, right?

There was nobody who sniffed Jerry Rice during his peak. You know what's weird? When I thought about this yesterday because they said the Packers and 49ers have met each other, what, 10 times? That's the most out of any teams facing off in the playoffs. I'm like, does that really arrive? Do you remember any huge... I know there was a big Favre

Favre. There's the Terrell Owens one. The Terrell Owens. That was a good one. Yeah. All right. But other than that, I don't know if it's a rivalry, even though they've met each other so many times. We might just be old and we might not be able to remember games. Yeah, that's it. We don't remember anybody. But Mahomes

Allen is clearly the game now. And this is very similar to how Brady Manning went, where the Pats, the first few years, the Pats were winning those. And it turned into, that's when I was writing my column and I was doing the whole, Brady's...

What? Should I do my own voice? You can try. Brady's Bill Russell and Manning's Will Chamberlain. Let me try. I'm doing an imitation of myself. Go ahead. Brady's Bill Russell and Manning's Will Chamberlain. I think try. I'm taking an invitation to myself. Go ahead.

Brady's Bill Russell and Manning's Will Chamberlain. I think you got to go deep. You got to go deeper. A little more resonance. I got it. Thanks for the advice. But then all of a sudden in 06,

it flipped and Manning came back from 18 in the 2006 AFC title game. The difference is the way this Chiefs team is built. Like the Pats had a lot of, all of a sudden he had no weapons. That led to the 07 Pats team.

This KC team feels still like pretty sustainable because of Mahomes' age, because of his ability to just make, you know, whatever work with anything. Kelsey would be the one variable, but he looked pretty good today. I'm sure they'll go get some receiver. They'll have some draft picks to do some stuff. Buffalo, on the other hand, I think there's some salary caps up with them. Does McDermott come back now?

It's a weird year, right? Because everybody was calling for his head and Dorsey got it instead of the defensive coordinator. It's weird that that all went on this year. Right? Still. But yeah, I think he comes back. I think they got him for another year. I think the players like him enough. So that seems to be all that matters. You don't think...

There's no Belichick possibility here, right? Really? Oh, for Buffalo? Because that Atlanta thing, there's a lot of buzz going on right now about the Atlanta job. But the executives that are there are trying. And I've heard this, I'm telling you from so many different people that they don't basically are at the blank wants to hire Belichick and all the front office people in

Atlanta don't want to hire Belichick because it's like any big company. Sports franchises are like microcosms of all big companies. The people that run the franchises, they just want to keep their jobs. They're in job preservation mode. So they're like, you know what? Maybe we hire Raheem Morris. It's like, yeah, you hire Raheem Morris. He's young. the people that run the franchises, they just want to keep their jobs. They're in job preservation mode. So they're like, you know what? Maybe we hire Raheem Morris.

It's like, yeah, you hire Raheem Morris. He's young. You'll have your job for five more years. You bring in Belichick. He's going to be, you think Belichick's going to listen to like McVeigh's kid, whatever that guy's name is? John McVeigh's son or Fontenot.

He's not going to, he's going to be like, I'm going to do my own thing. I'll tell you what, I feel like he's already listened more than I would expect. He took a second interview. Imagine that guy take it. Would you take a second interview anyway? No, but Bill Parcells wouldn't take a second. None of

these guys would. Jimmy Johnson would never go for a second interview. A year from now, there will be no second interviews. The Belichick going to Buffalo, though, I kind of like it. I don't know if he would stay in the AFC East, but it does have the Jets who he owns. He gets to go against Kraft every year, which there's clearly like a little bit of residue,

bad blood. He'd get Miami. He'd get an awesome QB. He'd get a team that could win between 10 and 13. He breaks the record in two years. Right. Year and a half. And if you're Buffalo, aren't you like,

hey, let's get Bill Belichick. How much money do you want? And then he gets to live in Buffalo. He could wear heavy hats and big parkas and just be super cold. And if you're Buffalo fans, you're like, all right, maybe this will end our curse. We get Bill Belichick.

I guess so, but don't the Bills? Well, it's really how you're thinking, right? It's like, we want to do this without Bill Belichick. I guess so, but don't the Bills? Well, it's really how you're thinking, right? It's like, we want to do this without Bill Belichick. We want to put that guy away, right? Listen, as a pre-2004 Red Sox fan, I would have had Satan as our manager and I would have been happy if we won. Yeah, you could have put anybody.

If we win, we win. I didn't care who was involved. Well, you hadan as your head coach of your football listen we put up with fever pitch we put up with an entire terrible rom-com about uh we did we have kurt schilling we had to put up with um maybe your team will hire him uh well you keep saying what are you talking i told you it wasn't happening i told you it wasn't we haven't been on the podcast since look i'm not thrilled with it but i knew it was gonna happen like they the guy i hate this i would rather have someone else because i know the end result every We haven't been on the podcast since it happened. Look, I'm not thrilled with it, but I knew it was going to happen.

The guy, I hate this. I would rather have someone else because I know the end result every year. But three 12-win seasons in a row, it took them to the NFC East. I know, but this is one of those things. I think internally, the organization blames Dan Quinn more than Mike McCarthy for that loss. And they scored the most points in the league. I get it. He sucks in the playoffs.

They lose. I'm never going to get that past you. So what can I say? But you still have to replace these guys. It would be like if Kimmel had a lights-out executive producer that for 11 and a half months a year was awesome. No, no, no. And then that person was also in charge of the Oscars. And each year at the Oscars, it was complete chaos and something horrible happened.

And then Jimmy was like, well, but the other 11 and a half years, months were great. That's McCarthy in the playoffs. It's like, well, what about when we beat Washington by 36 in week five? And then the next week we beat the Giants by 30. We can't get rid of this guy. Right. Playoffs, shmayoffs. I'm not sure who we're insulting here.

I got to think about it a little bit. You know what? I have a whole Mahomes thing, but let's take a break. If you've been watching NFL Playoffs from the Sidelines, there's still time to get into the game with Fandle, America let's take a break. If you've been watching NFL playoffs from the sidelines, there's still time to get into the game with Fandle, America's number one sportsbook. New customers. You can bet this Sunday's conference championship games with $150 in bonus bets guaranteed when you place your first $5 bet. Fandle has so many ways for you to pick up a W. You could start following million dollar picks if you want. We've been red hot during the playoffs and really the last few weeks as well.

Kind of leaning toward a possible, something with the Chiefs and maybe the Niners, maybe a tease. I think those are the two teams I'm gravitating for, but we're going to be breaking all of it down on Thursday. Million Dollar Picks. Stay tuned for that. We'll tweet some stuff out.

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today was the day watching my homes that I felt like there was some Tom Brady stuff going on with him he's for me mentally at the same level I was at rooting for Brady in the mid 2010s in some of those games

where I'm like alright they let him hang around. He's winning this now. And he thinks he's winning this, and his team thinks he's winning this. And you get to that level. Brady got to that level really in the end of the Seattle game, that Super Bowl, when the last two drives. But then you think with 28-3 against Atlanta,

the Casey game, it's just like, all right, this guy's on our team. He's not blowing this. They're not doing enough to beat him and he's going to finish this. The difference is Brady was in his mid to late 30s at that point and Mahomes is 26.

You had Buffalo as a pick in this game. Did you think Mahomes was blowing that game? No, not as soon as their defense figured it out. I saw a couple late third quarter drives for the Bills, and that was it. Honestly, it was more the defense that impressed me than Mahomes this game.

But I don't think this is the corner-turning game for you. Against Cincinnati, it was a close game. Against Buffalo, when they went to overtime, it was close. Against the Eagles, they got... Yeah, I'm not saying a corner turning. I'm just saying we have real history with this guy now. Yeah. Where I'm just like, you know what?

This guy's not going to blow this game in any way. And it's going to come down to, as long as they don't do anything stupid, they're going to win this game because they have him. You know, they come out top of the third quarter. They're down four, right? you know that they come out top of the third quarter they're down they're down four right

and they have to score on that drive because if they don't get that now Buffalo and then all of a sudden their Buffalo's up 10 and I feel like the game maybe slips away and they have the whole half time to think about it and I had the whole half time to think about it yeah and I'm thinking like

they're definitely Mahomes is coming through on there and you can see it that was his best drive of the game and the sc time to think about it. Yeah, yeah. And I'm thinking like, they're definitely, Mahomes is coming through on there. And you could see it. That was his best drive of the game. And the Scantling piece of it, the Valdez-Scantling catch, where I was like, I'm just rooting for that guy. He had like the worst year. He finally made one.

You're like happy for him. But I just, those two drives that he had to start the third quarter, I felt like this is why he's the guy for this generation now. Yeah, I feel like he did it against the Eagles. I know what you're saying, but the Eagles were beating him up, right? And then he's like, all right, I'm going to figure something out. Andy, you and the defense also figure it out. And they did. I just can't believe how the Bills

couldn't move the ball after that Shakir touchdown. I know. It seems like there was a Kelsey piece of this too where he gave them like a good two hours but then we didn't see him again. Basically from what? End of the third quarter on? Because I think he's at a different point of his career but he kind of like comparing it to the

end of the Pats that last Brady Belichick run with Gronk. Like it was the same thing with Gronk. Gronk could give them like he couldn't dominate for a whole game like Mike Evans today against Detroit, where Mike Evans was fucking awesome that whole game. Gronk couldn't do

that anymore, but he could pick his spots and pick his drives, and it feels like that's where Kelsey is now. Well, I don't know what Kelsey you're referring to, but Josh Allen, the post-gamer presser, said he was distracted by Jason Kelsey's nipples. But you don't think that has anything to do with it? That was another awesome part of this game.

We had a shirtless, drinking Jason Kelsey right behind the biggest celebrity in the world who might be his sister-in-law. Yeah. There's WWE going on and there's Grammys going on. It's like craziness. It's like what football has become.

It's amazing. Yeah, the Chiefs, the NFL did okay with the Chiefs advancing another week. I did wish I had said that on Thursday as a reason to take the Chiefs. This is what the outcome the NFL wanted. But I was thinking shirtless Kelsey in the suite with Taylor in front of her. It's like the hour mark of the rom-com when the couple's getting serious and she's spending time with his family and the family's just fucking crazy.

And she's like, I don't know if I can. And then they have like a crisis and they break up for a little bit before they get back together at the end. I was wondering, is this Jason Kelsey? This is the crisis? It's like, hey, nice win, but your brother had 27 beers

and was in his underwear by the end of the game like i you realize i'm famous right like can that not happen again it's a little something about maryish maybe that's going a little too far but yeah i don't know what to say um all right so i had written down all the worst andy reed playoff losses because after oh after the uh after the hardman fumble, I'm like, they're going to fucking blow this and this is going to move into the Andy Reid pantheon. You counted them out. You said you didn't count them out,

but you were. You were doing research. After the Hardman thing, I was like, oh my God, they blew this game. I was like, they should be up 10. This is the classic. This hits every checkpoint. They had that Pats to D4 game in 2018. They had that Cincy game in 21 when it seemed like Mahomes got concussed right before the half, but they had a lead.

And then it was like a three touchdown swing. There was that indie game with Andrew Luck. What was it? 28? They were up 28-3. Did we watch that together? We might have. We did.

There was the Tennessee game when they were favorites and they blew that one they've had a few bad ones and I think this would have immediately moved near the top of the list because it felt like they were going to put the game away and it would have been his fault too Reid, right? I mean we hate that play with Scantling, you've got a guy who's ready

to run through a wall and there's not a chance he's going to fumble in Pacheco. And you're giving it to the punt returner. I mean, I know he made a great catch and everything else to get him down the field or in the third quarter. But yeah, that's a terrible play call. Yeah, it's like if I'm playing Madden with my stone friend at two in the morning

and I want to fuck around on first and goal to try something, I'm like, oh, I'm going to run like the jet suite and just say, you know, he'll be mad that I made this. That's one thing, but this was an actual game trying to get to the AFC title game. And I don't want McCall Hardman involved in any way, shape or form. I just, that's the one, those are, we see it every week. These coaches, like they can't help themselves. They have to be like, watch, I get, Oh, I'm going to run the, they're not going to be expecting the jet sweep. He's like, you know what might work?

It's Pacheco just running into the middle of five guys and pushing them two yards. I'm pretty sure that's going to work. Next Philly special for no reason. Right, Philly special. Philly special, the worst thing that happened to play Colling in the last five years.

We should tell everyone why you seem a little subdued. Like last week you were subdued. I don't know. You had Buffalo. I think you're disappointed. You didn you were subdued. I don't know. You had Buffalo. I think you're disappointed. You didn't have a good weekend. I don't know, man. How many games are there so far?

There's 10 games. There's been 10 or 9? There's been 10 games. 6 last week, 4 this week. Alright, so I'm 1-9. What do you want me to say? That's not good. You were in the Wiseguy show this morning telling the audience to fade you because you're ice cold. That's when it gets dark where you're like, I'm still useful. Just

go against me. I'm ice cold. Well, I'm thinking about it. I'm like, and I'm picking Tampa Bay and I pick them in an upset. I'm like, what am I screaming about? I've been terrible. Why am I so confident? I should just shut the hell up. Right. Like, I don't know. Or do the George Costanza, just do the opposite. The opposite. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Well, all right. We'll go over the games, but that first one was close. Whatever. This one was close. Bucks-Lions, Detroit wins two playoff games in a row at home for the first time since 1773.

I looked at it. Wow. Yeah. It was actually before America had independence. Yeah. Okay. Um, Goff throws for 287,

two touchdowns, zero picks, 18 first downs passing. And I had the one, I think that they kind of dropped. It would have been a great interception, but they dropped one. But other than that, he was pretty... He was a little shaky first

10 minutes, but for the most part, I thought, looked pretty good. And then on the other side, Baker, who had a tough pick in the first quarter because it was bounced off somebody. But through for 349... By the way, Goff had one in the end zone that was dropped too.

It was right there. Baker throws for 349. Three touchdowns. But a second pick on the last drive. Did you think down eight that they were going to drive down and do something? No, I didn't.

I did think they were going to get the two-point conversion. And we're seeing that more and more now. And you freaked out. Whatever. It's fine. You could win because you had Detroit minus six and a half or whatever. But I like that you had to sweat that two-point conversion a little bit. Did you think they were converting?

I mean, if he stopped short, Evans, they throw the flag. But he tried too hard to catch the ball is the problem. So this worked in the Miami-Tennessee game, and now it feels like we're going to have this for the rest of our lives because it worked once. It's going to work like one out of 100 times. Miami-Tennessee, it worked. But it'll be the green light for analytics says go.

It's just like we said, some guy just leaning on the green button says, yeah, analytics always says go. Analytics says you should burn your punter. Just light a match to him every time. Yeah, does analytics factor in? This Detroit crowd was probably the single loudest crowd. And your quarterback's Baker Mayfield, who's pretty short and has to throw over a taller line.

There's just all these variables. So I guess the thought is if you get in, you're down six, you're putting mental pressure on the other team because they're like, holy shit. If we don't end this game, they can come back down and win it. Yeah.

But couldn't they do that anyway? If they scored a touchdown, they, they touchdown extra point, they're down seven. Then they score another touchdown and just go for two the second time. It's the same pressure. I'm always for that.

I don't know why. Maybe we're older. We're safer. This is just a more secure thing. You know what I mean? It's not, you know, we're not going to get crazy with Bitcoin. We just, okay, we'll hide our money under our mattresses. Your money's under your mattress?

What? I didn't say that. Yeah, I make it 31-24 for sure. I don't understand what cutting it to six does. Yeah, we're getting too cute in all aspects. I mean, for instance, I do think it's situational. I get it. Like what we talked about before where there's a penalty on Buffalo and now we're at the one when it's 26-24.

Like, fuck it, you have to go for that. You're going to be able to get one yard against a Buffalo defense that's missing six guys and hasn't stopped you once the whole game. Or Mahomes will get a sneak. It seems like KC is afraid to sneak Mahomes at all. Have you noticed that? They are because that's how he got injured.

That's how he got hurt. They haven't done that since. Detroit, 7.7 yards of play, 22 first downs. They gave up to the Rams last week. This week, they gave up 6.8 yards per play and 23 first downs to Baker Mayfield and Tampa. It's not a great sign for next week against the Niners. And also, more importantly, I think six yards of rush.

Yeah. Like, we get into this game, that was the difference. That was the... Plays and drives. Right. That's what the Lions had on them. Like, well, they have Montgomery, they have Gibbs. You know, Tampa Bay isn't even going to run the ball with White.

Like, wow. They really gouged them, especially in the first half. Running game combined with... Nakua has a huge game last week. Mike Evans has a huge game this week. I mean, he made a couple awesome catches, which, you know, last week he didn't catch anything. This week he was awesome.

But the recipe for them going against San Francisco, and we'll go over when we do guess the lines at the end, but it does feel like you're catching the Niners off a game where, man, did they get lucky. And we'll talk about that later. And then the Lions where they're like, oh my God, the Lions, two in a lucky. And we'll talk about that later. And then the Lions, where they're like, oh my God, the Lions, two in a row. Could this keep going?

It's a miracle team, team of destiny. And it feels like one team's a little overvalued and one team's a little undervalued just from what we saw this week. Do you agree with that? I definitely agree with that. I think people are dying to put the Lions in the Super Bowl. Well, we'll see if FanDuel agrees with it,

but when we go over that 49ers game and what has to happen for Purdy to succeed. But yeah, I could see San Francisco not having a tough game like that again for the rest of the year. It was interesting. The Rams are just better than the Bucs. Yeah.

And it's weird to see a team play someone in round two that's just not as good as the team they played in round one. And I'm sure the Rams watched that game and they probably watched that game and then the Niners last night and they probably were like, oh my God. Yeah. Like we actually could have done this.

No, you and I were saying that. Like the Rams had, oh, the Rams, Monday night when Tampa played Philly, like the Rams needed to be in this game so that they could advance next week. Not the Detroit game, but it didn't work out like that. Yeah, it's too bad.

Gibbs had a good game. I hit that same game parlay. You did, that's right. Gibbs, 40-40. Gets it on the last pass. Detroit wins and Evans had 25. It was like plus 562. But the most exciting moment was the two-point miss

for the cover. The line ends up at six and a half. The whole Wise Guys show had Tampa. And I'm texting you guys all weekend going, Tampa sucks.

Tampa sucks. And you're getting mad at me. And then all of a sudden They put up more of a fight than you thought. I mean, the total yardage was about the same, I think, if you look at this, right?

I don't like taking teams in the playoffs unless I think they can win, and I didn't think Tampa could actually beat them. That's it. I thought, yeah, they could hang around. Maybe they could steal a cover, but one of my basic playoff... Can I toot my horn for one second?

Yeah, let's hear it. You hit a couple of weird props. Evans to be the leading receiver in this game was plus 320. What the hell is that? That's dumb. 147. He won that by 70 yards. Holy shit.

I had Evans all over. Evans 100 plus yards. Evans to score a touchdown. That's it though. And I had a tight end to score in every game at plus 650. So yeah, Ringo Wise guys, watch that show. We got plus money parlays all over the place. My dog made a cameo on that show today.

Yeah. Because I don't even need to do this for Parent Corner. Go to bed last night. I'm so excited. I'm like, get in bed relatively early. Had a really fun time. I'm like, all right, I'm going to wake up at like seven. I'll make coffee.

I'll watch the fellas. Can't wait to see what they have. Start thinking about the bets. Maybe do some work. Get ready. My dad's coming. What a great day. 2.55 in the morning, I hear Murph walking around. And I'm just like, for some reason, I never wake up. For some reason, I wake up and then I smell like a smell. And I'm like, oh no. Oh no. So I wake up and it's pitch black. I have to put my glasses on. It's definitely a smell. And I'm like, I said to my wife,

like, Harry, I think something bad happened. And he's just destroyed this rug we have right in the middle of the bedroom. So I take him outside. I actually felt bad for him. He goes outside. He's gone for like 10 minutes and comes back and just is bummed out. I have no idea if he's got diarrhea on him. My wife's

like just screaming upstairs, cleaning up an apocalypse. And I whipped my cell phone out and took a video of it and sent it to the wise guy's account. I was like, do I keep chiefs lions as a tease? Because this has to be one of the worst omens of all time. My dog, there's like shit. It's like the exorcist shit up in the bedroom. And then I was up the rest of the night. I was up till 7.30 with Murph. I commented that.

It's staring you right in the face. The dog shit the bed. So don't take any dogs. Don't take any underdogs on Sunday. And then Raheem is like, no, no, no. It's like when a bird shits on you, it's good luck. And this whole analysis is talking about dog shit and how you, you don't see Terry and Howie discussing this.

This is why Bring the Rise guys is the best show on TV. Exactly. So Raheem was right because in 2004, I wrote a whole column about this during the Red Sox playoff one. We were walking to get coffee and a bird shit on me. Yeah. And I was like, oh my God.

And I told my mom and she's like, that's good luck. That's good luck. Bird shitting on you is good luck. I'm like, it's good luck. I have shit on my shirt. She's like, don't wash it. I'm like, I'm definitely going to wash it. I don't want to get some disease.

Well, that's a bird. I don't know how dogs. First of all, you have too many dogs. I'm sorry. We live two. I don't want to get some disease. Well, that's a bird. I don't know how dogs... First of all, you have too many dogs. I'm sorry. There's something bad that's going to... We live two. No, there's three, isn't there? No, there's two.

We're down to two. One of them died. You were here last week. We live two dogs. I thought you had three for a second. All right. We have Murph and Stone Jesse. Yeah.

Okay. Because Jesse's stressed out all the time. So we put a little THC or morning food. I think you have a third one that you don't know about. I thought I saw a third one. Well, we had a third one, but he lives with Kara's mom. Oh, right. That's right. Okay.

So anyway, diarrhea Murph. It turns out it was a good omen. Right. I went every bed today. I was four 2-0 and hit a couple teases. We'll do it again next Saturday. Are you going to have him shit in the bed again? Yeah, I'm going to give them Mexican food

on Friday, Saturday. Sorry, Kerry. This is a big one for us. This has been working. Just two more weeks left. Another thing we were talking about was I sent in a 13-point tease to the show yesterday, which was Ravens to plus 3.5,

Packers to plus 22, Packers over to 37, and Casey plus 15 and a half today. And I send these in and usually Raheem just gets upset immediately because he's a traditionalist. House, JJ, they just want to make fun of it. But I've hit enough of these this year and you were just like, I don't know. This is a good one. I kind of like it. I'm not going to fight it. I don't know. This is a good one. I kind of like it.

I'm not going to fight it. I don't know. Yeah, not going to fight it anymore. It's the Taylor Swift cutaway at this point. I'm like, okay, great. I don't get it, but... Taylor Swift is the 13-point tease

of TV cutaways. Yeah, she really is. My favorite bet of the week was Lions-Chiefs to plus eight and a half, which once the Lions said, there wasn't any point in this game

when I was worried about the Chiefs losing by double digits. Really? That first, all right. No, I just felt like it was.

I really thought that Bill's offense was really solid first quarter on, but then it's. Anything else on Lions bucks? Um, what did I have? Goff Mayfield?

Do you think, what were the odds of Goff Mayfield like three years ago in a second round playoff game? I know it. I thought, yeah.

I mean, he did a good job. I don't know if they're going to replicate this. I keep waiting for the we're just happy to be here moment for the Lions. I would hate that for their fans, but. I don't think they're good enough on defense. And I think it's one thing when you're home and it's super loud and you're getting false starts and you're playing teams that are a little flawed in some way, right? Like the Bucs, they had their tight end over the middle

for some third down stuff. They could run the ball a little, but not like, I wouldn't say it's elite, and they had one big receiver. Rams last week, really one receiver because the Cubs just didn't do anything. And this Niners, now you're in the road you know i i didn't see enough of a pass rush other than hutchinson um the niners i think are gonna that was a good nice little wake-up call win for them where it's like they really shouldn't

have won so you know that if that doesn't make you double down on stuff so i don't love the spot for the lions i mean isn't it all about the weather at this point? Like when you see, look, whatever. Niners minus nine and a half was a terrible pick, but I also didn't know it was pouring rain and Debo was only going to play six snaps, you know? So that was a killer. I don't know if we want to start talking about this game now, but if he goes from wearing a glove to not wearing a glove

to maybe I should wear three gloves, like Purdy was a disaster, underthrowing guys. And it was a game that he absolutely needed Debo because when his accuracy was so off, you need two short options. McCaffrey underneath was going to get covered eventually. So you needed Debo secondly. But if it's raining again next week, you're not going to have confidence in the 49ers, right? It was interesting, the quotes from him after the game about,

yeah, I had the glove, it didn't feel right, so I took it off. It didn't even seem like he solved feeling good about how to throw a ball in bad weather. I'm going to add this to the manifesto, I think, for next week. I think as a permanent rule, like, uh, you know,

there's certain QBs that the weather just doesn't matter. Like Josh Allen and whatever weather he's going to be fine. And same for my homes. Brady was like that. Um, the big tall guys with big hands, they're fine. But you move down to that,

like Brock Purdy level of the, he, he threw a couple of passes where the ball was like spiraling, like spinning. Not a lot of intercept. Yeah, it looked like he was throwing a boomerang or something. Wasn't great.

Wasn't good. See, I disagree with you because I thought Green Bay they start that game with three long drives and they get six points total, including a four and out when they have third and one. And I don't know what the fuck they were doing on that drive where they just ran and ran to the line,

then tried to speed up and didn't get the... But after those first three drives, I was like, oh my God, they're going to be able to move the ball game. And they did. You can't sack the guy. There's no sacking Jordan Love for some reason.

They had receivers going all over the place. Jones was playing well. I just thought they played better. It came down to they dropped two purdy picks that were just completely catchable and they dropped them. They missed a 41-yard field goal in the fourth quarter to go up seven.

That kicker has missed in 10 of the last 12. And they really needed just to stop them on that one last drive. And that was the one time they couldn't stop them. But they had five red zone trips before San Francisco had a single red zone trip. You know, and you think about it that way. And they're on the road. I just, if I'm a Green Bay fan, I'm like, oh, my God, how did we not win that game? Oh, the 49ers were super lucky to win.

Super lucky. And especially, what were they? They were 0-30 under Shanahan when trailing by seven or more heading into the fourth quarter. So that wasn't good. But I couldn't tell with guys. This happened against the Cowboys too, and there was no weather. But guys falling down, D-backs falling down, freaking Bow Mountains of the world being wide open.

I'm like, what am I even watching here? Is this a good game or is this a sloppy game that's going to end up being close? The slippery field. The field is one of the worst I've seen in a long time. So I don't know what this means for the future, like for next week where they have a game. I think the Packers were legitimately good.

And their defense, the same defense that Tommy DeVito was ripping up and Bryce Young had the best half of his career, but their defense could look good for stretches. And I thought offensively, that was about as good of an offense as we've seen the last couple weeks in the league. Where just all these different dudes

that just seemed like they were open half the time. A QB that was able to buy himself time over and over again. Their offensive line, I think was probably the best offensive line in the league by round two. He's barely pressured, and when he was pressured, he could just kind of maneuver out of it.

The shame for them is that they didn't get going sooner and that instead of barely being a seven seed, I think they had a legit chance to win that division if they had gotten shit going maybe five weeks earlier. Right. Right. And if they hadn't lost to the giants and done like stupid losses. Yeah. Yeah.

There's just so many minds that, you know, it was back to Shanahan. Like he lost confidence in Purdy almost immediately. And like right before the half, 55 seconds, you're on the other, your opponent's end of the field with three timeouts and you're going for a field goal you're right you play he was coaching scared completely for a field goal with a rookie kicker which by the way i don't even know if we should have rookie kickers anymore is there a shortage of like veterans who can get it from 50 who've played in the postseason like i don't know i don't even know what if rookie kickers are are worth it uh maybe I should make a blanket statement like that.

Pat spent a fourth round on one, and it was just, he cost us four games. And thank God. I'd love to send him some money. It's got to be better than that. But no, super lucky, the 49ers. The Packers, if you want to say, probably deserved to win.

Well, especially like, as you said, the Debo thing was so early in the game. Yeah. Although, it's weird because, yeah, it sucked that he got hurt. But if we did a fantasy draft of, I'm not surprised at all that that guy was hurt, would he have been the first pick in the draft?

Or second, was McCaffrey the first pick? I don't think I've ever... Least surprising guy to get hurt in the playoffs we're about to watch, is it McCaffrey the first pick? I don't think I've ever... Least surprising guy to get hurt in the playoffs we're about to watch. Is it McCaffrey or Debo? I can't remember a game I've ever bet on 49ers where he's made it to the finish line. Takes huge hits. Nakua's going to be the

new guy like that because he takes like four huge hits every game. Spins in and out of hits, yeah. Plus he's got a quarterback leading him into just getting smushed. Plus, he's got a quarterback leading him into just getting smushed. I can't say it was the most impressive Shanahan game either, but they got it done.

I have one more thing on that. The Dre Greenlaw pick at the end, and he won't go down. He's not going down. In bad weather. All he has to do is go down. He's looking for different ways to get. He would have run back to his own end zone if he had to. And like he had them minus nine and a half.

I think Rousselo even commented that. But if you're Shanahan, at some point, you say to your team on the sideline, go fucking tackle that guy. Go tackle him. What's the worst penalty they can give you? A Niner runs on the field?

Yes. All the Niners. What could they, they can't give the Packers the ball at they can give you? A Niner runs on the field? Well, what if they... All the Niners. They can't give the Packers the ball at that point, right? You just got to control this mania. Oh, that's really interesting. Yeah. Just send everybody... It's like a drunk guy in a bar.

Everyone's just jumping on him. Get him out of here before the cops come. I don't know. They couldn't give the Packers the ball, right? That would have been the way to do it. That's hilarious. Green Bay, I mean, lock it down, are going to be next year's sexy team, right?

July, August, Green Bay. It's like, lock it down. I don't even think they are like a minus 400 favorite to be the most discussed up-and-coming team next year. I think cap-wise, they're okay, although his deal is up in May, so I don't know what they do with Jordan Love. They have their first. They have

the Jets' second from the Rodgers trade, which is high 30s, maybe 39-40. They don't need to spend any stuff on receivers. They got to pay to keep their line together. I think Aaron Jones is under contract so they can go load up a little more on defense,

but they're in a nice spot. All right, we'll take a break, talk about Ravens Houston, and do Guess the Lines. This episode is brought to you by Movember. The mustache is back with a vengeance. Look at Travis Kelsey. Before he rocked that Super Bowl ring,

he rocked that super soup strainer. Grow a mustache for November. You'll do great things too. You won't win the Super Bowl, but your fundraising will support mental health, suicide prevention, and prostate and testicular cancer research. And if you don't want to grow a mustache,

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Learn more at sunnybrook.ca slash special Ravens Houston is the last game which happened feels like it happened 10 hours ago there was a about an hour there when it's like

oh playoff Lamar is this is this now officially going to become a thing and then all of a sudden he was awesome

but there was like an hour there the Texans line looks super fast. And I don't know. I got nervous. They get the punt return. I was so mad. I had first half game. I just needed the Ravens are up 10-3.

It's like, oh, this is what a great way to start. Then all of a sudden it's 10-10 at halftime. You had one of your wise guys. I had my dumb bet where I had the underdog to win the first half and the favorite to win the game, which paid seven to one and Houston missed a field goal. I get it. Fairburn is good. That's like, you'd think he's going to make that. And if not for the punt return, I'm not anywhere near that bet, but damn it, I would have liked to have had it. But this was bad for me. I had Houston plus the points and Baltimore was just

clearly better. But we should remember this. There is some rust on these bye teams. Baltimore and Green Bay, offense-wise, going in. But yeah, I don't even know what to say about the Texans. They were the happy-to-be-there team. Yeah, there was a lot of manifesto rules that came through that game, but the big one is don't be too excited

about somebody who looked awesome in round one. There's a big difference between Flacco throwing back-to-back pick sixes and the Browns being unable to basically cover anybody. And then all of a sudden, you're playing that Ravens team. That crowd's going nuts and it's freezing cold. Lamar was awesome, though. I

kind of feel like he needed it. I know he's going to win the MVP, and I know he's one of the best parts in the league, but there was a moment in that game where like, all right, man, let's see it. You're supposed to be one of the best parts in the league.

And then he was like out of his mind. You know, we get on the case of, I don't know who it is, I guess media or us. I don't know who it is that determines who the MVP is. And a lot of it is stacked by the bigger games towards the end of the year.

It's like, Oh, Lamar's only going to win it. Cause he beat San Francisco and then whatever. It towards the end of the year. It's like Lamar's only going to win it because he beat San Francisco and then whatever. It didn't really matter after that. It's like, well, good thing he is going to win it. Imagine if they gave it to Dak or Purdy at this point. Oh my God. Purdy would be the worst one.

Yeah. Purdy's like, I can't grip the trophy with, I need a glove that's got more stick to it. I told you McCaffrey was the MVP, and I'm going to prove it. Having four bad weather games in a row. Well, I'll tell you,

this is, you know, I've always said that theory about the MVP trophies, that it should be, you should also get to vote on how big the trophy is. So it's like, if it's a fucking awesome, incredible MVP season, it's like a 40-pound trophy. Like, incredible MVP season, it's like a 40 pound trophy.

Like you can barely carry it. You almost look like a friend. And then if it's like a, eh, somebody had to win season, it's like a five pounder. Like what you got for winning the West Coast Championship. The little one that's like falling apart. Oh, that reveal would be great. That would be a great show in itself. And it will be a 10 pound trophy.

So I would say five pounds, 10 pounds, 20 pounds, or 40 pounds. To me, this was a 10-pound season for Lamar. Was it? Yeah. I wouldn't give it a 20 or a 40, would you? If the choices are 5 pounds, 10 pounds, 20 pounds, 40 pounds. We had a different MVP winning every week for 8 weeks. And then with 3 weeks left, all

of a sudden it was him. But it wasn't like a dominant MVP season. Yeah, because you're talking about 10 guys, right? Like we were talking like, yeah, it could be McCaffrey, could be Tyreek Hill. And then it could be the four or five quarterbacks we talk about all the time. Yeah. It was never Mac Jones.

Yeah, 10, 15 pound-ish I would put in there. But 229 on the ground and it's over. That's what Baltimore did. A hundred of those were Lamars and then Hill, Justice and even Dalvin Cook split up the rest. He finished 11 for 100 with two TDs, which if you were same game parlaying that one,

the 100 yards was at least plus, maybe even plus 240, plus 250 range maybe. Sure. Two TDs had to have been plus 300. Ravens to win. There was some version of that. And TDs had to have been like plus 300. Ravens to win. There was some

version of that. And the Ravens to cover. You've done Ravens to cover. I had one. I didn't even tell you about this. One of the bets I hit this weekend, I didn't do it for million dollar picks, was Ravens minus 14.5. Packers plus 3.5.

Chiefs to win. What do you think the odds were for that? What was the first one? So Ravens minus 14 and a half adjusted. Oh, wow. Packers plus three and a half adjusted. Casey to win. Nine to one more?

It was 18 and a half to one. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How many millions? Huge odds. Yeah, I won $12 million in real life. Wow.

Wow. Buying a boat. So excited. Get a boat for your dog to shit in. That's amazing. He's going to shit. He's definitely going to shit. I might have to get a boat

just so the dog can have diarrhea in the boat and just be sick. Houston gets 10 first downs total, 21 can have diarrhea in the boat and just be sick. Houston gets 10 first downs total, 213 yards total in the game. And if not for the punt return, that might have been like a 50-3 type of shellacking

because they did nothing. But they had one receiver. What are you going to do? Just cover Nico Collins. I don't know whether Browns didn't do that last week. The only other thing I'd say about the Ravens game, you're supposed to win that game and you're the best team in the AFC.

What happened was supposed to happen. Dalvin Cook came in in the second half and immediately looked like their best running back. The first guy was size and speed and he made a couple guys miss. It was like, oh shit size and speed. And like, he made a couple of guys miss and it was like, Oh shit.

Like they have Dalvin cook. I don't know. Did you have a moment like that? Cause that's how I was feeling. Yeah. It was, well, I mean,

not, not specifically him, but I really, I thought all three of them like, Oh my God, what you don't know what, where to look next between Lamar Hill, justice and cook.

And don't forget, they forgot they lost Keaton Mitchell. They always lose Dobbins within the first few weeks. This team could have five or six good running backs. They're kind of like almost even a better version of the 49ers a couple of years ago, right? The way they worked that. It goes to show you how stupid Atlanta was.

Nobody should ever spend a top 10 pick on a first rounder ever again. Just never. Just never do it. You're always going to be able to find dudes and get a running back in the 5th, 6th, 7th round, whatever. Instead of taking a kicker in the 6th round, just take some random running back.

Or sign there's three Dalvin Cooks available every year that it's like, oh, that guy wants more money. Even Zeke. Dallas could have used Zeke again as your backup instead of who he had. We were saying this. I was like, if we had a Pacheco, now we're just going to end up

cutting Tony Pollard. If we had any of these guys, we still would have lost the Packers by 20, but whatever. So where are you with the handicapping right now? How are you feeling? Confident? Shaken? Big week next week? How can we rebuild it? I'm weird because I'm hitting on some of these props too,

but I cannot hit a side for my life. I don't know. I don't know. What do I do? I've never been this bad. I was 4-0 this week. And I have them all. I'm 8-2.

And one of the ones I lost was that stupid Pittsburgh Buffalo game. Which is the only one I won. I think I would have flipped that. I really, I didn't love taking Mason Rudolph, but it was like, it was supposed to be a blizzard with 50 mile an hour winds. I'm like, I'm taking the points. Like, I don't know what's going to, this game is going to be three, nothing. And then they switched it. Um, but I never, that was one of those where I almost wish I had tweeted, like, I'm changing my pick. This is ridiculous. Raheem is in the same boat. The one that I got Cleveland wrong,

I got lucky with Bucks-Lions because they easily could hit that two-pointer called P.I. Yeah. Well, Evans, hey, maybe don't backpedal when you have a chance to get P.I. Just stop. You're going to get a call. Get run over.

We didn't talk about that other play. This is a play that they're screwing up now, I think, at a 90% rate. The quarterback throwing the lateral that when they have the camera, Josh Allen did in the Buffalo game. Yeah. And it's actually not a lateral. The ball is going forward. And I think they screw this up the most out of any call,

out of all the calls. Yeah. Well, I don't even know that they got the Music City miracle right. I'm still not, but it's almost always a forward pass, even if it looks like it's behind, right? Because the momentum is going to take the pass forward. It's physics. Yes, exactly.

Yes. And Jack, you don't expect these referees to understand physics beyond everything else. So that was that third and 17 on the first drive and Reed didn't challenge it. And it's like, the ball went forward. You got to challenge it.

And Romo's like, great pass. It's lateral. Huge play by Allen, Jim. And then they show the replay. Get to the line and snap it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get that.

Yeah. And then they get there. Yeah, there were a couple of those. There were a couple of weird ones like that. But yeah, I don't love the, you know, the only other thing

I was going to talk about, like Green Bay. Again, like some of love the you know, the only other thing I was going to talk about, like Green Bay again, like some of these D-backs just like, just play the ball, play the bad pass. Like Jordan Love threw that pass and it was passing to Ferenc down right when the Packers took the lead again.

But anyway, I'm going backwards too much. You want to do Guest Alliance for round two? Well, listen, this is where this is my saving grace right because i think i could clinch the year this week what i'm eight seven oh i'm eight seven and five okay so i can go up two weeks with two left yeah anyway you got to try to win okay what's our first game what do they put first af? AFC or NFC? Well, they alternate from year to year. So the AFC, even though that's the more exciting game, that's the first one, 3 p.m. Eastern time, Sunday. Kansas City at Baltimore is first. Yep. And then Detroit at

San Francisco, second. That's right. I forgot to guess the line so I'm doing this live right now okay I sent you mine I'm not changing them okay KC at Baltimore I think that's Baltimore by three alright you get this

I said two and a half I said two and a half it's three and a half oh the hook that's gotta go down to three that can't come on well Mahomes 9-1-1 as an underdog

and you could say the whole trends are stupid every year the season's different and the team's different or you could say hey you know what's stupid betting against Patrick Mahomes the whole trends are stupid. Every year, the season's different and the team's different. Or you could say, hey, you know what's stupid? Betting against Patrick Mahomes.

Because Brady was also awesome as an underdog. Brady would kill teams, though. The games weren't close with Brady. Only a few. Mahomes, every one of these is close. It's not 42-14 anymore with the Chiefs. Well, it feels... I keep bringing up that last Pats season,

but it feels similar to that. And that Pats season ends with them going into KC and that awesome game, 37-31 in OT that they win. Offside, yeah. But that was kind of the end of whatever version of that Pats team was. And Brady ends up leaving a year later. It's different because Mahomes is going to be

at the Chiefs forever. But it does feel like... I don't know how many more Kelsey years we're getting. Like even now, like we talked about earlier, like you're getting him for an hour and a half, two hours of a three-hour game in big spots, but not the full three hours. Again, Jason with the nipples, Kelsey. And Jason might just get him canceled. But yeah, this just feels like... And then you just think about Taylor Swift in the Super Bowl. And if you're the NFL and your choices are Baltimore could be in the Super Bowl. Or Patrick Mahomes, Taylor Swift, and Travis Kelsey could all be in the Super Bowl in Las Vegas.

I don't know. What does Raheem say? He calls it like the A side, B side. Oh, the B side. Yeah. Yeah. You want to be on the A side team, the team that is the,

the league clearly is going to try to finish. So they're going to figure out a ref crew that they probably haven't figured out yet. Um, I don't know. I don't, I think they would much rather have the chiefs. You got to start looking at the Ravens tight ends.

Girlfriend is like Isaiah. Likely. Is he dating a dual loop? I don't, I don't know. got to start looking at the Ravens, tight ends. Girlfriend is like Isaiah Likely. Is he dating Dua Lipa? I don't know. I don't think. If he's not, we got to put the Chiefs in the Super Bowl. I mean, the referees had no trouble putting the Chiefs in the Super Bowl before Taylor Swift. So now this is different, though.

I think she's worth. It's it really does have a chance to be the biggest Super Bowl since we were kids in the 80s when we had five channels. Back then it was like 100 plus million or whatever. It could be the biggest event and yet also her attending a karaoke bar. I'm like, all right, give me that mic for a second. I got to say a little something, get something off my chest here. Next game is Lions at the Niners. All right.

I feel good that you're going to get this wrong. And then we'll tie. Okay. Packers were getting... It was seven, seven and a half. Where did it end? No, no. I'm sorry.

Nine, nine and a half. Did it end at nine or nine and a half? I think nine and a half. Did it end at nine or nine and a half? I think nine and a half. Nine and a half. Okay. I was going to say either seven or seven and a half. And I think I'm leaning toward seven and a half Niners favored over the Lions. Okay.

I'm no longer confident that you're going to get this wrong. You got it. I said six and it is seven. So you get it. Seven. Okay. So we're tied heading into the last two weeks. One week. So yeah, one week. Oh yeah. One week left. Winner takes all.

But we're going to have to mail that Super Bowl line almost immediately after the Sunday games. All right. So let's talk this out. The most obvious tease of all time is 49ers Chiefs. Yeah. I just don't see Jared Goff

in this Lions team with this kind of sketchy defense winning in San Francisco. Like Purdy would have to be abominable. Like really bad. Other than that, I don't know. Or McCaffrey would have to get hurt, you know, almost like Debo did in this game. But on the

other hand, what if they don't have Debo for this game? Maybe that affects the line? I'm with you. I'm surprised you have this take, though. I thought you were going to be like, San Francisco's a fraud and all this stuff. I think that was perfect. I think it's perfect to put it out for them. Where that total wake up call,

we're not as good as, you know, we lost to Baltimore. We almost lost to Green Bay. Hey guys, get your shit together. Like this is, nobody's putting us in the Super Bowl yet. You can use motivation for this in all kinds of ways. I don't, I mean,

to me it's all precipitation. I don't like Purdy back there if it's rainy. If I see even a drop of condensation coming off an air conditioner high in the stadium, I don't like Purdy in this situation. But we'll see, I guess. All right. Let's do Parent Corner. Today's Parent Corner is brought to you by CarMax.

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You can easily find a car that'll work for you. And more importantly, you can take a full month up to 1,500 miles to love your car or return it guaranteed. That's the 30-day money-back guarantee. Learn more and find a car you love today at CarMax.com. What do you got, Sal? All right. So, kids, my 10-year-old, Harrison, he's in a basketball league.

Play on Saturdays. It's fun. Is this your first fight? First fight? Parent fight? No, no, no, no, no, no. But I'm telling you, I'm going to have trouble. Like, I think I'm a very, very well-rounded guy.

And if I have to go to therapy, I think it should be over youth sports anger. If I can get that out of my system, I'll be fine. And so they're playing. And whatever. I shouldn't care anymore. It's a bunch of little kids from the beach running around. They don't know what the hell they're doing. They're 10 years old.

Right. So whatever. But anyway, Harrison's having a good game. It's 2017. Time is running down and there's a jump ball with 1.7 seconds left. Harrison's team's up 2017. It's got like seven or eight points and, uh, they huddle up and it's the, uh, the team that's losing the opponent's ball with 1.7 left.

And I already look at our clock guy, who's a friend of mine. I'm like, and you couldn't run the 1.7. Let's get the hell out of here. You know, it gives me the shrug. And so I said, uh, and they're huddling up and I'm saying to Harrison, I'm like, Harrison, foul the shooter. Foul the shooter. And he's like, what? He doesn't understand. I'm like, foul the shooter. When it's inbound to him, foul. No 10-year-old in the country is going to make three free throws, right? How about no 10-year-old in the country is going to understand those instructions? Yeah, exactly. Yes, that was part of it too. Doesn't foul the shooter. Kid runs. A running leaner. Almost half court. Banks it in.

The whole gym is going crazy. Except me. I'm there with my arms folded. The parents on our team are excited for this kid on the other team. And I'm like, what the fuck? Are you kidding me? Melissa's like, what's wrong with you? And so they put two minutes on the clock. play overtime we lose 22 20 uh and uh are there tears is this a tears loss after 10 year old boys are criers he's like he's holding him back because

almost the whole other team was uh in his in his class and so I was like now he's gonna hear this on Monday and I was like just fucking foul the shooter this is what I, now he's going to hear this on Monday. And I was like, just fucking foul the shooter. This is what I'm telling you. He's like, I still don't understand what you're saying. I'm like, okay, great. If you foul him, he's going to free throw line. Now I'm like, I'm the idiot. My wife's like, he has to lose games like this. What are you getting mad? This is part of growing up. I was like,

I lose games like this betting on them, and I will tomorrow I'm sure too. He doesn't have to. That's terrible. A 10 year old hitting a three like that almost half court. So we're home for an hour and I'm like I'm still not over it and I go downstairs

I'm like so you understand like if he gets the ball and you just hug him you're going to be in good shape. He's like dad now at this point he's playing Fortnite he's like dad I don't care. I really don't care. I don't think I've ever felt more like a loser at that moment.

I'm sure I'll flap myself. You're like the dad in Varsity Blues. You're like Mox's dad. I care. You should care. And so that was that. So he's okay with the three. I mean, wouldn't that as a kid crush you for days?

Yeah they just move on to the next thing now Yeah the next thing's a video game I remember Zoe played summer league basketball after fifth grade it was like her last year she was really good at basketball

and she played on this team that was older and at the end of the game they were up and she made the shot to give them the lead it was in the championship game

the whole gym is rooting for the other team because we were I forget it was somewhere in the lead. It was in the championship game. The whole gym is rooting for the other team because we were, I forget, it was somewhere in the valley, but it was all like valley kids. Right.

The other team, they inbound the ball with like, I don't know, five seconds left. And they have this inbound play under the basket because they missed a shot balling out of bounds. Inbound play. The girl just shoves one of our girls from behind

to get the ball and puts it in for a layup just shoves one of our girls from behind to get the ball and puts it in for a layup they don't call it we go to overtime and i'm so fucking mad and they lose in overtime and zoe doesn't care she's 10 year old girl she's like where are we going next and yeah and i'm just like i i i want to talk to that guy in the parking lot i'm so mad because it was like so obvious that they uh it. But that's the problem with these 10 year old games are that it's like somebody's buddy is the ref. I know. It's like, oh, the other team's coach, his best friend, the ref called in sick. So his buddy Bobby is going to be the ref for the game.

And what's the buddy going to do? He's going to give all the calls to his buddy. Yeah. Well, yeah, that wasn't the case with my thing. But I just I was like, don't you understand? On the money line, you would have been a minus 50,000 favorite. Do you have a same game parlay? I have the same game parlay. You know me, I always bet against the buzzer beaters anyway. I'm no fun. the big football game on the big TV, but there's basketball. On League Pass this year, they just show the halftimes. Whatever is showing in the Jumbotron

and the halftime. The Celtics game had just these two teams of 12-year-olds playing a halftime. I swear to God, you would have bet on it if somebody was like, I'll take the team going right to left minus one. You would have been like, in! I stupidly

for a second looked down at my phone as if I could maybe bet that. I'm like, oh no, what am I doing? No, I can't bet these 12-year-olds. I have 10-year-olds. Oh my god. My parent corner. So, you know, my son is now, he's 16, he's a sophomore

in high school, but he's going out a little bit more and it's a question of what's the curve? What'd you do for Archie for a curfew sophomore year, age 16? Oh man, that's tough. Midnight? Yeah. So we were like in the 1230 range with him.

And of course he did the whole, oh, you know, 1245. You look at life 360 and he hasn't moved. It's like, hey, you're supposed to be home now. Oh, sorry. Sorry. He gets home at 1.15. But we're now moving into this stage with him that we just went through with our daughter for two years

where it's like, I'm sorry, I can't go to bed when my kid's still out. Yeah, right. Right? But at the same time, we're on this different sleep clock where we get up early because we're old and we want to go to bed a little earlier because we're old but on friday and saturdays and our kids are out and i'm i'm just not going to be like oh wake up in the morning i wonder if ben got home last night like it's just not happening

no so basically for the next two years of my life i'm i'm fucked from a sleep standpoint in the weekends like i gotta learn how to nap, basically. Yeah, that's not good. Did you tell what was Zoe at in 10th grade? What was her curfew? Zoe was really like 11th. It was 11th and 12th, but it was two years. Ben is now like, it feels like a two and a half year run here. And if you tell them, hey, your

sister's curfew wasn't midnight. Yeah, I think we got to crack down. Maybe we just got to be like, it's 12 until 11th grade. So it's a until 11th grade. We can. Yeah, there's a little precedent. So it's a coaching mismanagement by me. That's right.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you can't let the players rule your lives here. The thing is, do you ever think with your kids, like at some point when we're super old, they're in charge of our destinies with how how the end goes, then do you ever wonder like which kid do I completely trust to really give a shit? Yeah,

a lot. I do agree with that. I am hoping that they marry. It's like Mike just going right to the nursing home. How's this going to play out for me? Should I just start setting aside money now? At this point, you have to, or at least I have to hope that they marry someone caring and not asshole-ish like the three of them this point, you have to, or at least I have to hope that they marry someone caring and not asshole-ish like the three of them.

Yeah, because my parents, I think, were just absolutely over the moon that I married my wife because my wife's like a genuinely good person who would always look out for whoever. They might have been 50-50 on me as an only child. That's it. Is he going to come through? What's going to happen? You came through. You did just fine. Yeah. All right. That's it. Like, like, is he going to come through? Like what's going to happen? You came through. You did just fine.

Yeah. All right. That's it for parent corner. Today's parent corner is brought to you by CarMax. Parenting is always going to be a little tricky and filled with split second decisions, but buying a car doesn't have to be with CarMax. Shop their nationwide inventory to find a car that fits what you're looking

for and buy with confidence because you can take a full month up to 1500 miles to make sure you really love your car or you can return it. That's the 30 day money back guarantee. Learn more and find a car you'll love today at carmax.com. All right, Sal, how do we get on the comeback trail next week? What are you thinking? I forgot to tell you, I had overtime was one of my million dollar picks for Casey Buffalo. It was plus 1160 and seemed like it was going to hit like for real. 27-27. Yeah.

Yeah. It seemed like he hits that field goal and it was 12-1. I actually thought that was a pretty good odds. Basically, it's basically 12-1. Yeah. I mean, everybody said it's going to come down to the last stop, last offensive drive. I don't know how I get it back. There's two left. I got to find a prop like that, like an 11-1 prop to take me home. I'm not

sure. Do they make it that easy though? That's the question. San Francisco, Kansas City, you're absolutely right. 90% of people are going to be on that. Every single time it gets screwed up and we end up with Detroit, Baltimore, or San Francisco, Kansas. I guess San Francisco, Kansas City. Although, for the league, Lamar getting in the Super Bowl is a good thing because then he could elevate to some different level of famous person, right? Like the Super Bowl is when you really get the stamp. Yeah, but no one's elevating the Taylor Swift famous person. If they were playing the Bills, I think you're right.

Like, yeah, let Lamar advance. That'd be fine. Yeah, that's what they want, but no, they need Taylor in there. I guess there's good storylines either way, right?

If Detroit makes it, their fans deserve it. Great. San Francisco and San Francisco in a way is the weakest. You have the Kaepernick bowl, the, the, the blackout bowl,

right? If it's San Francisco, Baltimore that we were at, that's a fun one. is the weakest. You have the Kaepernick Bowl, the blackout bowl, right? If it's San Francisco, Baltimore, that we were at. That's a fun one. I think Detroit can move the ball on them. I don't think

the Niners defense has been impressive at all. And well, they've had some injuries and some stuff's happened. Well, Dre Greenlaw is still running around with that ball.

So I don't know if we can say, can't say just yet. When you compared him to the guy who has to get out of the bar before the cops come. What the hell?

Yeah, Lamar getting in there would be a nice consolation prize for losing out on Kansas City because then they could just blow him out and try to turn him into a face of the league because I don't feel like he's there yet. Yeah. If we were to say faces of the league,

right now it's Mahomes and it's Allen and it's Travis Kelsey are the faces of the league. Man. NFL's going to win again. I think they're going to be okay. Shut up. I heard that. Through the ringer.

You got Dak. Dak. Through the ringer against the Lods a couple times. Cousin Sal's winning weekend. I have Cody Rhodes on. He's a big Eagles fan, so I get to make fun of him for that, and he can make fun of me.

And also Royal Rumble coming up. And Ringer Wise guys, again, every Sunday. Great time. Did Harry win any playoff bets this week? He won that stupid Tampa Bay game. Another reason to root for that two-point conversion.

So Sal's friend Harry, who's on against all odds with him, went 0-6 last week to start round one and then was 0 for 2 yesterday, right? And like me, he's 1 and 9. But he did pick the Bills to win 48-20. So I feel like he's an uglier 1 and 9. Did you notice that NBC dude picked the Lions huge again?

Ahmed, the host that's in for Maria Taylor? Oh, he did that last week. Yeah, he picked up the win like 56 to 13 again. I like that though. I like it. Is it like a protest against having to make a pick? Oh, it must be. Yeah, you're right. You're probably right. He's like, I don't want to make a pick. It's not right. Yeah. I like that. I hate seeing the 24, 21, 27, 24, 28, 27. I like seeing a curvy number in there somewhere. Remember how mad we used to get during Inside the NFL when we cared about Inside the NFL when Collinsworth was on

and they would go to the games or him or Phil Simms and they'd be like, I can't pick the game. I'm doing it. We'd be like, why? Is that going to change your analysis? All you're saying is like, oh, huge play coming up. We're going to start rooting for the other team? Chris, you're in love with both quarterbacks.

So is Romo, so is Sims. It's not going to change anything. Romo thinks everybody in the game is the best that's ever played. Like, come on. How could this be swayed? Goodell said the integrity of the league is up for grabs here. Chris gives a pick on the, on the Ravens Titans.

All right. So next time we talk, it will be after the conference championships as always. Good job by you. Good job by you, buddy. All right. That's it for the podcast.

Thanks to cousin Sal. Thanks to Steve Cerruti and Kyle Creighton as well. Don't forget new rewatchables coming on Monday. Don't forget to check out Prestige TV. Don't forget to check out youtube.com slash Bill Simmons, where we put up clips from the show and shorts and a lot of other stuff. And I will see you in, never on set. I don't have a few years with him. On the wayside, never on set.

I don't have a few years with him. Must be 21 plus in President's select states. Fando is offering online sports wagering in Kansas under an agreement with Kansas Star Cas LLC gambling problem. Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit Fandle.com slash RG in Colorado, Iowa, Kentucky, Michigan, New Jersey, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Illinois, Tennessee, Vermont, and Virginia. You can call 1-800-NEXT-STEP or text next step to 53342 in Arizona. Call 1-888-789-777 or visit ccpg.org slash chat in Connecticut. 1-800-9WITHIT in Indiana. 1-800-522-4700 or visit ksgamblinghelp.com in Kansas. 1-877-770-STOP in Louisiana. mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. 1-800-GAMBLER.NET in West Virginia,

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