The Bill Simmons Podcast - World Series Thoughts Plus Hasan Minhaj | The Bill Simmons Podcast (Ep. 433)

Episode Date: October 24, 2018

HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons shares his World Series thoughts after watching Game 1 in Fenway Park (2:00), then Bill sits down with comedian Hasan Minhaj to talk comedy, the NBA, and his new week...ly Netflix series 'Patriot Act,' premiering October 28 (20:10). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Today's very special extra edition of the BS podcast on the Ringer Podcast Network brought to you, as always, by ZipRecruiter. They are the smartest way to hire. They find people with the right skills for your job. They actively invite them to apply. Right now, my listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free at ZipRecruiter.com slash BS. We are also brought to you by SeatGeek, the best app for buying and selling tickets to sporting events, concerts, and more. For $20 off your first SeatGeek purchase on any game or sporting event,
Starting point is 00:00:30 use promo code BS. Download the SeatGeek app or go right to SeatGeek.com. Finally, we are brought to you by The Big Picture, The Ringer's new movie podcast hosted by Sean Fennessey, mostly. It's his podcast that was on Channel 33. We have moved it to its own feed.
Starting point is 00:00:47 It launches this week. It has interviews that Sean did with filmmakers and actors and actresses and all kinds of people in the industry. It's going to have a weekly Oscars thing from probably starting next week all the way through the Oscars, Oscars watch, who's up in the categories, gambling advice, all kinds of things.
Starting point is 00:01:06 And then it's going to be a place that we review movies as well. And if you have listened to this podcast or have missed this podcast this week, you've already done two podcasts. Cousin Sal, as always, Sunday nights this year. And then I did a podcast yesterday, talked to Shea Serrano. We broke down the new Halloween movie. We talked about the upcoming or the first week of the NBA season. And then Quavo came on and we talked about a whole bunch of stuff, including an idea that I'm very excited about. Let's talk about that
Starting point is 00:01:38 right after we get to our friends from Pearl Jam. All right. We have Hasan Minhaj coming up a little bit. An interview I taped a couple of weeks ago, but it's really good. We've been holding it because his new Netflix show premieres this weekend on Netflix. We're going to get to him in one second. I mentioned Quavo on the podcast. We did the transcript as well on The Ringer.
Starting point is 00:02:20 And it was an idea that I was fired up about. He basically could not believe that we have the Superbowl in Atlanta. And for whatever reason, they decided to have Maroon 5 as the halftime act, instead of dipping into 25 years of, you know, Atlanta hip hop, Atlanta rap, everything. And I think that scene, the music scene there, as he pointed out in the podcast, has a unique connection to the city that transcends even what goes on in New York or LA, where in a lot of ways, the music culture there forms the whole culture of Atlanta and touches it in every conceivable way. And he was just bemoaning what a missed opportunity it was. And eventually we landed on an idea that he should just form that show anyway. And then as soon as it kicks into halftime for the NFL game,
Starting point is 00:03:05 you either flip channels or go to somewhere on the internet. And all of a sudden there's the greatest Atlanta concert of all time, capturing the music and the city and everything. I think we might actually do this. We're talking about it. It might happen. We might have our own special halftime show. So details to come on that. But thanks for all the feedback on that because people seemed excited about that idea. I would not rule it out. I would not rule out a special Atlanta halftime show featuring everybody, featuring three decades of artists and music and all that stuff. But anyway, if you missed that, either listen to that podcast or check out the transcript, which you ran on The Ringer.
Starting point is 00:03:52 I wanted to talk, I'm in Boston. I went to game one of the World Series last night. Always a fascinating experience. It's a totally different everything at the World Series. It takes way longer to get in. It has a different energy. It's got weird pockets of fans of the other teams kind of spread around the field. It is absolutely packed to the gills. It takes forever to play. I think the game started maybe, I don't know, 10 after eight East Coast time, and we were still there after midnight. And there's just a grind to it. It's freezing. It got cold. It wasn't that cold when we started the game. It had rained a little bit earlier, and then it got cold, and then it was all right, and then around 10 o'clock, it just dipped, and it got cold.
Starting point is 00:04:35 And that can go one of two ways. I remember in the 04 World Series, one of the Cardinal games, I went to both games at Fenway. One of the games was so cold, it actually ruined the crowd. The crowd was just a show of itself. And last night, I actually thought, and maybe it's because they have even more people crammed into Fenway now. I actually thought, I thought the energy was really good.
Starting point is 00:04:59 And everything led to this great moment in the eighth inning. Red Sox were up by a run. They had Baez in on the Dodgers. He gets two strikeouts in a row. There's a guy on base in 2004 playoff here, Dave Roberts, takes out Baez and brings in the lefty Wood against Devers, which was weird because we were just going to immediately pinch it for Devers and put Eduardo Nunez in. And I just felt like Baez just looked unhittable. And now you're bringing in Wood, who I think had given up like 14 homers this year,
Starting point is 00:05:33 but I don't know if he'd given one up to a lefty yet. So that was why they brought him in, but we were clearly going to switch. So he takes Baez out. Now we have a matchup that was potentially better. And you know, it happens next. Nunez cranks one crowd went absolutely ape shit crazy. And it was a great moment. It was clear. They're going to win the game after that. Kimbrough came in in the ninth and look good. So maybe there was something to the tipping pitches, but game two is tonight and
Starting point is 00:06:01 not, not really sure what to expect from the David Price thing. I think the Red Sox fans, it's been a love-hate relationship over the years. In a weird way, it almost feels like he's better off pitching, not in Fenway, but on the road. On the other hand, he could win the fans back tonight by doing anything. And I do feel like there's a chance now to grab this series by the
Starting point is 00:06:27 balls. Because if you go up 2-0 and then you go 3-4-5 in LA, but man, that 3-4-5 is really tight. All of a sudden, there's so much pressure on that game three for the Dodgers if they're down 2-0. And even if they're down 2-1, it's still the same. They almost have to win three and four to stay even because you don't want to have game five be the Red Sox up three to one. So it's weird. It goes without saying, you only need to win four games to win a series. But winning that game one, you just feel so much better after you win that game one, you know, you only need to get three of the next six. I am not a hundred percent sold on this Dodgers team. I always judge this stuff by who am I scared of when they come to the plate? Definitely scared of Machado and the Red Sox have their own history with them, with him. Scared of Turner a little bit. He doesn't really have the power as much,
Starting point is 00:07:23 but just as somebody who seems like he comes up with line drives when it matters. And then Bellinger obviously is a little scared, but that's really it. You go on through and then the Kershaw thing. I was watching First Take this morning because I'm on East Coast time when I come out here and I put in an ESPN. It's actually a normal time to be talking about this stuff versus the West coast. It feels a little stale by eight o'clock in the morning West coast time.
Starting point is 00:07:50 And they were just killing Kershaw. And I, I gotta say like, I normally, I don't like to overreact at all. This guy's a choke artist and all that stuff, but man, the body of work and for what they're,
Starting point is 00:08:04 they're paying for and what they're counting on him and for the fact that he is, by all accounts, one of the best regular season pitchers of all time and a generational starter, it is bizarre, A, how kind of spotty he's been in the playoffs, and then B, when you're going against him, you feel like you can hit him, which is just a strange experience. When the Red Sox went against Verlander in the Astros series and touched them up a little in game five, got the big homer that barely went over the wall,
Starting point is 00:08:35 I was so much more scared of Verlander than I was of Kershaw because it does feel like, for whatever reason, postseason baseball, things slow down. Everyone is scouted so meticulously. Although it just, it feels like you can get to him, you know? And I'm sure the Dodger fans feel the same way about Chris Sale, but they should. Because Chris Sale is just not right. You know, you're watching, could feel it in the stands yesterday, watching the miles per
Starting point is 00:09:02 hour in the first inning. And he's like 93, 94. And you're like, oh man, he's just not the same guy. So if the Red Sox can somehow win the world series, getting four innings from sale last round, and then four innings of whatever else happens this round, I'd be astonished. I think the one thing that's really helped them in the postseason has been
Starting point is 00:09:25 they have the ability to bring in the starter who's two or three days away to pitch a key inning. And this has happened over and over again. And if you watch them during the regular season, which I did, obviously, and I was complaining about this the whole time, I was so nervous about the sixth, seventh, eighth innings because we just didn't have enough relievers that anyone trusted. But now you get to the playoffs and you can pitch Nathan Evaldi in the eighth and he's throwing 99 and he's comfortable. And that's just an option
Starting point is 00:09:54 they did not have in the regular season. And I think they've done this now five times. And each time it's been successful. And more importantly than that, it just takes so much pressure off of everybody else. You don't have to worry about going crazy with Kimbrel and pitching somebody like Barnes or Brazier two innings. And I think the biggest thing with this Red Sox team is just how many people are involved in the success of now you have four,
Starting point is 00:10:23 no, three, this is our eighth playoff win. How many different people have been involved in the success of that, which is really what you look for when you have a baseball team. It's not a star-driven sport. It's a lot like football now, where it feels like at some point,
Starting point is 00:10:38 success touches 16 to 19 guys on the team. I remember in 04, you go through that and it was like every guy contributed. It was impossible to say who the hero was. Ortiz was the hero, but was he more important than Derek Lowe on two days rest, pitching six innings in game seven and things like that.
Starting point is 00:10:58 There was 19 guys who had some sort of major impact. And I think Cora really knows this roster. Cora is the best manager I think the Red Sox have ever had in my lifetime. He really knows the roster, like over and over again, makes the right moves, has a way of keeping people involved even when they're not going to play in the game.
Starting point is 00:11:18 He talked last night about Nunez, how he really wanted to start Devers in game one. Devers has been playing well. It didn't matter if it was lefty-lefty. He just felt good about the matchup. But he also wanted to start Devers in game one. Devers has been playing well. It didn't matter if it was lefty-lefty. He just felt good about the matchup. But he also went to Devers. I'm sorry, he went to Nunez and said, hey, man, you're not starting, but be ready.
Starting point is 00:11:35 There's going to be an at-bat for you in this game. Be ready for it. And Nunez came in and did what he did. I think the biggest thing, going back to Fenway, and I hadn't been back, I was here last year, but it's just over and over again, especially in the World Series, marveling at how much it's changed in that whole area. And all the bars and the restaurants that are, it's just built into this cottage industry now. I sat along third base left field line last night and I was actually almost caught the Benintendi double that bounced in the stands, bounced one seat away from me. But crazy to just be able to walk out. I still can't get used to it compared to what the place
Starting point is 00:12:18 used to be like where you can just walk out onto the old Yawkey Way and just cross the street and go to the giant pro store and things like that, and then just come back in the ballpark because they shut everything off. They've done a nice job of maximizing all the territory. It still feels like it's not entirely legal. There's just so many people crammed into such a tiny place. The seats are still going in the wrong directions. It's still an armpit in a lot of ways, but it's
Starting point is 00:12:46 a lovable armpit. And they have done a really nice job of just making everything better and making everything feel modern and while keeping kind of the heritage and the DNA of the ballpark. And, you know, I've been going to that place since, I don't know, 1972. I think my dad was carrying me when I was like three. And still get a rush seeing the wall, still get a rush of seeing the park. And there's just not that many parks like that where you walk in and it's like, oh man, it's like going to your grandparents' house or something. It hasn't really changed, even though it's changed. And when you see it kind of decked out for the World Series and the energy that's in there, it's really special.
Starting point is 00:13:30 It's really great. I think Wrigley has that. I don't think Yankee Stadium, the new one, I just don't feel like it's the same. Trying to think what else. It's really just Wrigley and, and Fenway now that has the history combined with how cool the stadium is Pac Bell, whatever they call those giants place. Now that's, I think that stadium is pretty cool, but doesn't have the history.
Starting point is 00:13:57 Obviously it's only 20 years. So pretty cool night. I heard supposedly tonight is going to be just frigid. It's just really like insanely cold. So, uh, of course this will be the game that goes 14 innings, but people bundle up. It's weird.
Starting point is 00:14:14 Cause you got hats on and, and all that stuff. And, um, the sound isn't as great. Cause you're wearing like whatever hoodie and you got mittens on. So it's a little harder to make noise. We, the section I was in, we were torturing Manny Machado
Starting point is 00:14:28 who Red Sox fans just do not like for a hundred different reasons. Easily the least favorite Red Sox opponent right now. I call this the A-Rod Award for the annual least favorite Red Sox opponent. Machado runaway winner this year.
Starting point is 00:14:44 A-Rod probably won I don't know, four or five timesaway winner this year. A-Rod probably won, I don't know, four or five times. The funny thing about A-Rod winning was he wanted to play with us. He was willing to give up $25 billion after the 0-3 season to come play with us. And it almost happened in Major League Baseball Black Tech because he took a pay cut. It was really kind of a crazy, honorable, cool, competitive thing that he was doing, giving up money to play for a better team. And the Red Sox fans still tortured him for that entire decade. And it was great. And he deserved it. But Machado is the number one. And he was doing this thing last night where he had his hand in his back pocket, which I put on my Instagram story, where between pitches to keep his right hand warm because his left hand was in his glove, he was putting his right hand in his pocket.
Starting point is 00:15:32 So we had people in our section, hey, man, he stopped picking your ass and just like torture him. And by the eighth inning, he was cold and mad. And he started kind of glancing over and stink eyeing us, which word of advice, don't do that in Boston. Just not good. It's like feeding filet mignon to a pit bull. So Manny's glancing over and stink eyeing and it's just giving everybody energy and everybody's so cold and tense from the game and focusing it on Manny. So that was pretty funny. And I think tonight he's going to take a similar whipping. I had Mookie Betts, the MVP bet, and plus 750. I talked about that yesterday.
Starting point is 00:16:15 Ben Intende was like 20 to 25 to 1. You knew some random hitter was going to win it. It's not going to be a pitcher. So I thought it would be Betts, Benintendi, but who knows? But I think, I think, I call him Benintendi by the way, and I take crap for it. It's part of my pronunciation dyslexia. I know it's Benintendi, but I just say day, just bear with me. You've been with me this long. I have some pronunciation dyslexia. It's going to be a weird hitter. Maybe, you know, maybe it could be Nunez. Who knows? Maybe Nunez will hit four homers in this world series. I don't know. Maybe it'll be somebody in the
Starting point is 00:16:50 Dodgers rallying back, but, um, but we'll see how it goes. It's going to be the, the Dodgers, the Dodgers scene for tickets this weekend is between that and LeBron. I think anybody who is in the ticket business is probably really enjoying this whole run for LA sports. Because the Dodgers thing with all the Boston transplants that are in LA combined with all the LA people that would want to go anyway. It's an absolute shit show for tickets. Which brings me to SeatGeek because I've been using SeatGeek. They've been involved going back to my last podcast. I've been using SeatGeek since forever. And what I did was SeatGeek has the color-coded charts. You can go in, you go in early, you check out the market, you check out the prices, and you sort it by deal
Starting point is 00:17:52 score. And it basically says, you know, like right now they have a low, this won't be there for long because it's got a 9.9 amazing deal, which means somebody's trying to unload the tickets. They have a Logebox 115 for 9.9 and 9.9 out of 10 deal score. That will not be there that long. Usually it's around six or seven, but you can check out the markets. The markets today, because it's going to be cold, are actually a little bit low. Then you go to game four and the game four is, is hilarious. Um, they have the green, the green is good. When you go to seal SeatGeek, if it's dark green, that's great. Uh, the prices are, are expensive. It's going to be very hard to go to these games.
Starting point is 00:18:40 I went and I got tickets on SeatGeek for game two because I had to get I'm sitting with my buddy Sully yesterday and today shout out to Sully what are the odds I have a friend from Boston named Sully uh but I had to get tickets for my dad so I got him and my uncle Don tickets for tonight did that on SeatGeek did it game four as well because my son wants to go so I'm taking him and uh you know you've been hearing me talk about it. It's the best app for buying and selling tickets to sporting events, concerts, and more. And if you haven't joined yet,
Starting point is 00:19:12 for $20 off your first SeatGeek purchase on any game or sporting event, use promo code BS, download the SeatGeek app, or go right to SeatGeek.com. Here's an interview I did with Hasan Minhaj, who's great. This was his second time on the podcast. Really thoughtful. One of those guests that you don't intend to get in this serious kind of life talk, big picture, intense conversation, and you just can't help it when you're talking to him by 25 minutes. You's, you feel like you should be sipping scotch
Starting point is 00:19:46 and sitting by some fireplace as he's yelling at you in a ski lodge. He's just really fun to talk to. I believe in his show. I actually think his show has a chance. And we talked about like how hard it is to launch a show. I have personal experience from launching a show and not doing well.
Starting point is 00:20:04 It is one of the hardest things you can do on TV. We talked about that, the obstacles, and a whole bunch of other stuff. Here it is. All right, Hasan Minhaj is here, and it is near the end of September, and I don't know when this is running. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:18 So if anything weird happens in the NBA, don't get mad at us. It'll drop, yeah. If LeBron shaves his beard, and it turns out he has a tattoo, like a Mike Tyson tattoo on his face yeah that'd be crazy yeah are you okay you're the biggest Sacramento Kings fan I know other than Riley that works with us I only know two Kings fans are you okay with this LeBron Lakers thing I mean I'm just like I was talking to my buddy Samir about this I was just like the league has changed this is a different era from when I grew up.
Starting point is 00:20:46 Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Where I don't understand every year they just change the decks of all the teams. It's like Madden level of just like, hey, let me just swap around the players. What if? Let's move them here and see what happens.
Starting point is 00:21:01 Chris Ryan, who writes for The Ringer, was saying this week that it's like the soccer transfer thing. Oh, right. The guy just says, eh, I want to go here. Yeah. And then that's it. You have to trade. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:14 Nobody really says F you. But what are the players playing for now? Because the way we define legacy and greatness, it's all changing. Do teams even matter like they did anymore? It seems like the individual now trumps the team. Yeah, totally. And then if you're a kid, how old is your son?
Starting point is 00:21:33 My son's 10. He just roots for players. I remember being 10 and getting $40 from my parents to buy a champion replica jersey. Remember the replica jerseys? Those are back. It was $40, $45 at the time, right? Yeah. How do you do that now like you could potentially buy a guy read your jersey this year and be like is this gonna last
Starting point is 00:21:53 he's gonna get traded whereas if when i bought a sonics 40 sean kemp jersey yeah that had shelf life you figured that you got at least a decade out of it. Yeah, until he picked up cocaine. I had 10 good years with him until the coke happened. You know what I mean? Maybe the shoe companies will just release individual pair jerseys and that way they work no matter what the team said. Oh, yeah, yeah. That would actually be a good idea. It's just a Kyrie, Nike number one jersey.
Starting point is 00:22:19 Yeah, and you're just like, all right. Or whatever number he is now. Yeah, these are weird times. I think, I've talked about this before, but I think it just ties into where the culture is now and where 20-year-olds are in general. People at the 20-somethings. Tommy's generation.
Starting point is 00:22:34 They just, you know, they play it by ear. So what- I like it over there. I'm going to go there. I like that girl over there. I'm going to go over there. I like it this way. Oh, swipe culture, but for franchises I like that girl over there. I'm going to go over there. I like it this way. I'm going to go this way.
Starting point is 00:22:45 Oh, it's swipe culture, but for franchises? Swipe culture. I think we're in the swipe culture era. Yeah. But then what lasts? I don't think anything. That's what I'm really trying to figure out. I think nothing lasts.
Starting point is 00:22:53 Man, maybe that's just like... Remember you used to listen to an album like that? I can't tell you how many times I listened to like Notorious B.I.G., Ready to Die. Both albums. Yeah. Both side one. All the way through. Take it out, side two, all the way through.
Starting point is 00:23:04 And now we just live in a seven track era. Playlist era. Yeah. But albums are seven tracks. People are like, oh man, did you listen to the new Nas album? I'm like, yeah, it's fine. If you had to take another 15 months to work on it, it would have been great. Right.
Starting point is 00:23:20 But then it truly doesn't matter because you just have that weekend to sort of have attention. Or it's a 26 track album that has so many songs. You don't know. No, you know what? You know the one person in music that actually does have lasting power is Kendrick.
Starting point is 00:23:34 I still listen to Damn. Damn is an amazing album. I think Drake has become underrated. I do think there's some, I think there's some Drake-LeBron parallels. What do you mean by that? Because he's been really good for a long time now in a business that you're not supposed to be cool.
Starting point is 00:23:52 Drake's won a lot. LeBron hasn't won a lot. True. Well, LeBron had the four MVPs, right? So Drake has the equivalent of the four MVPs. But it's a little like the LeBron thing where for a while we're always trying to point to somebody else who was cooler. With Drake, it's always like, Kanye and then Kendrick.
Starting point is 00:24:10 Nobody wants to admit that. Oh, he's been on the top of the charts for like... Yeah. And he puts out music that's massive, that reaches a lot of people, and it's actually good. That's the hardest thing to do. He also understands release schedule. So he'll put out a mixtape and an album almost every year. To be like, all right, I'll get you up.
Starting point is 00:24:30 I'll get this record playing. He waters the plant. Yeah. Yeah. To be like, hey, pay attention. Okay, cool. You remember me? Cool.
Starting point is 00:24:36 Then album. All right, cool. Then I'll tour the album. Oh, then there's another mixtape. Like he just is consistently. Smart. Yeah. How does that change for comedians? Because people have to use social to stay in people's lives.
Starting point is 00:24:51 Some people seem like they do it better than others. My favorite Twitter follow on the planet is Jezelnik. All he does is come in with grenades. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Every tweet is like, whoa, are you sure you should have said that? He's napalm on Twitter. He's unbelievable but not
Starting point is 00:25:06 he doesn't really promote himself he just comes in but everybody has kind of a different strategy and then some people are just constantly pushing I'm going here
Starting point is 00:25:14 I'm coming there hey Toledo I'm coming this weekend the touring business is crazy right now yeah if you can if you can sort of
Starting point is 00:25:20 pop and get over this hump yeah like if you can get over rise above the two drink minimum and get out of the comedy club circuit and do the theater business, the theater business is crazy right now.
Starting point is 00:25:30 So you're doing Carnegie, right? Yeah, I'm doing Carnegie, October 18th. We had to add a second show. Seriously? Yeah, it's crazy. How many is Carnegie? Like 50? 2,600, right?
Starting point is 00:25:39 2,600? Crazy, yeah. Good Lord. So like two years ago, I was doing 900. That was like my max in New York. And then yeah, it's nuts. The touring business
Starting point is 00:25:50 is crazy now. Who do we just have on who's the comedian we had on when we were talking about selling at NBA arenas? Kevin Hart. Oh, Bill Burr.
Starting point is 00:25:58 Oh, Burr. He was saying how Dane Cook was That was a huge deal at the time. The first one it was like, whoa, you're doing
Starting point is 00:26:03 the Boston Garden like the whole garden but now sebastian menescalco's doing yeah like msg it's cool it's actually i think it's legitimately the biggest venue you've played biggest venue i've played you must have done like a 10 000 yeah i've done those those big festivals where you do an outdoor space and it'll be like yeah like 10,000 people but me personally probably around yeah when I do Carnegie will probably be the biggest oh no when I do Chicago this upcoming weekend so I'm gonna do the Chicago theater we're doing
Starting point is 00:26:34 we're doing two shows so that's 3,000 seats do you have to change your your uh persona at all or is it just same thing you pretend it's not that many people well for me I have like I have the screens and stuff behind me too. So I'm doing like sort of stand up and then I'm also sort of showing stuff behind me. Yeah. I've talked to like, you know, Mulaney and those guys about it.
Starting point is 00:26:53 You do have to wait for the laugh to come in. You know, like. Yeah. There's like a Skype delay. Yeah. The punchline. And then it comes back. But if you're 3000 seats or less,
Starting point is 00:27:05 you can keep it pretty tight. Like there's this, did you ever go to the Wilbur growing up in Boston? So the Wilbur, I think is one of the best rooms because it feels like a comedy club, but it's a theater. Yeah. But it has that intimacy
Starting point is 00:27:16 where I can still deliver like this and I can hear your laughs also in real time. Those are my favorite. Like 1,600 seats or less is really good. When you get over 3,000, it gets really cavernous, I think. The delay thing's funny because that's what, when I used to do PTI when I was in LA and like Kornheiser was in DC. And there would be that half second delay where you make a joke and you kind of have to wait, but your instinct is to do
Starting point is 00:27:44 this back and forth, but then you just kind of have to wait. But your instinct is to do this back and forth. But then you just kind of have to factor in the delay. Yeah. That reminded me of that. Like telling a joke and making sure it gets to the end. Yeah. Almost like the rhythm's off the whole time. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:55 It's kind of like surfing. You just kind of have to like feel it. You feel where the laughs are. You feel where the applause break is coming. And then you just kind of have to ride it into the next thing. Since the last time you were here was spring of 17. Yeah. And you had some good is coming. And then you just kind of have to ride it into the next thing. Since the last time you were here was spring of 17. Yeah. And you had some good stuff coming.
Starting point is 00:28:09 Yeah. You're on a really nice run. Now you have a Netflix show coming. Do you want a Peabody? Yeah. The coolest award to win. Yeah. It looks like this little.
Starting point is 00:28:18 It's like a little circle. You've seen them, right? I have one. Yeah. We won one for 30 for 30. Oh, man. It's the one that the people always gravitate to in my house because they're like, what is this?
Starting point is 00:28:29 It looks like the Dos Equis guy. It's hilarious. Don't you feel like a hack when you're there? Because they'll be like, this person embedded themselves in Syria for eight months and you did a really great 30 for 30 on Reggie Miller. Yeah. That's how when we were there, it was like that.
Starting point is 00:28:44 So he did a documentary about uh Iraqi refugees that were growing up and uh he did a really great 30 for 30 on um yeah yeah he stopped chemical poisoning in Syria yeah it's crazy this guy did the two Escobars yeah yeah the uh we were there that was the same year the good wife one uhife won randomly. So Margulis was there. Margulis. And I was just like, wow. We won the same type of award that the Lady from VR won. Yeah, it was cool.
Starting point is 00:29:16 And it's an intimate room too. It is. You can actually go around. You know how most award shows are just not fun? But that you can actually kind of mingle and walk around. The Emmys are weird because they have the sports Emmys, kind of like mingle and like walk around. And yeah. The Emmys are weird because they have the sports Emmys, the creative arts Emmys, and then the actual Emmys. What are the creative arts ones?
Starting point is 00:29:31 The sports Emmys are the worst. Really? They are the seventh circle of hell. It is awful. It's like four solid hours and blowhard speeches and the wrong things were in every category. And nobody cares? No, everyone cares. They're all super competitive.
Starting point is 00:29:45 It's like the nominees are E60, Real Sports, and it's just, it's so over the top. And people are like, oh, am I going to win
Starting point is 00:29:53 or am I not going to win? Really? Yeah, no, people are getting bombed. The creative arts is, that night's really long. That was the ones
Starting point is 00:30:01 the documentaries were. It was then the one that's on TV. Although, I don't know why they did Monday Night. That was weird. I didn't agree with that. It was the ones the documentaries were. It was then the one that's on TV. I don't know why they did Monday Night. That was weird. I didn't agree with that. It was really weird. I would go Saturday night over Monday Night. Also, you know, because as a performer, I'm like, let the
Starting point is 00:30:14 hosts host. But really, the gig is like you do a seven-minute monologue and that's it. Yeah. That's why I still think this is not a popular opinion. I still think the Correspondence Center is the best gig in comedy. It definitely seems like you did that, what two years yeah you have the most eyeballs yeah like the world is watching and you they let you run you can do 25 minutes like you really get a taste of like all right this is what the person's about like this is
Starting point is 00:30:39 what they really think seven minutes isn't enough I think but certain people do seven minutes really well uh seth meyers does a great seven to ten kimmel probably is one of the best yeah he's been in those up fronts forever he's just banging those out just like all right i know i know how to like i'll just you know kind of work the room and then we'll get out you know i like the independent spirit awards is my favorite hosting thing oh dude Kroll and Mulaney killed that those guys are great at it I really enjoyed the hell out of it but I just like
Starting point is 00:31:08 that award show it's kind of like the mellow stoned Oscars it's just low key yeah people aren't that competitive it's got a nice vibe
Starting point is 00:31:17 do you go to any of these I don't I don't like even when you're nominated um yeah if you're nominated, you have to go.
Starting point is 00:31:26 Otherwise, why would you? Yeah, of course. Unless you were working it or something. My wife likes it. Really? Yeah, she likes getting dressed up. I went to the Espy's for like 12 straight years, and I always enjoyed that.
Starting point is 00:31:36 Oh, really? Yeah, because it was just... You think I should go? 100,000%. You know, they asked me to do the... Jen, remember they asked, they're like, do you want to do the NBA Awards? And then we were like, just scheduling.
Starting point is 00:31:44 We're in pre-production right now and I was like no I want to but then I also know like it is not a good crowd like I watched Anthony Anderson host and I was feeling for the guy like yeah
Starting point is 00:31:55 you know what I mean people are just checking Instagram stories he's up there he's doing like bits physical bits yeah you can hear he had a briefcase
Starting point is 00:32:02 he opened the briefcase the audience was so quiet you could hear the briefcase open you know when you're doing physical comedy you can hear the rustle of your own shirt that he had a briefcase. He opened the briefcase. The audience was so quiet. You could hear the briefcase open. You know, when you're doing physical comedy, you can hear the rustle of your own shirt. That's not a good look. That is a noble effort that should probably not happen. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:15 The NBA award show. Because it's like, it's so far after the season. Yeah. Two months after the season, I'm not like, who do you think should have won the MVP? Like, nobody cares. You've already lived through the finals
Starting point is 00:32:26 and the draft and then you think the players get too sensitive though like I really think everyone's getting too sensitive about being made fun of god
Starting point is 00:32:33 100% who wants to be made fun of those guys don't want to take any shit at all but I think it's maybe this is the older I get if you can laugh at yourself
Starting point is 00:32:43 it's actually the most endearing quality right but who laughs at themselves at the NBA I mean, maybe this is the older I get. If you can laugh at yourself, it's actually the most endearing quality. Right. But who laughs at themselves in the NBA? I mean, there's that one video that got posted about Dwight Howard when he got ripped on. Well, now that was where I was like,
Starting point is 00:32:53 all right, you got to draw the line somewhere. That was rough. He got roasted bad. He really did. Yeah. Yeah. You know how like at the Correspondence Center, Barack would,
Starting point is 00:33:02 he would let you do whatever you're going to do. You couldn't follow him. No. He would just eviscerate. Yeah. You got how like at the Correspondence Center, Barack would, he would let you do whatever you're going to do. You couldn't follow him. No. He would just eviscerate. Yeah. You got to do that. Be like, hey, I'll laugh at myself, but you got to come. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:33:13 The Jeff Ross did Blake Griffin roast battle. Oh yeah. No, how was it? And Blake Griffin was actually good. I was impressed. I really enjoyed it. And it was a great back and forth. And then Jeff Ross did the equipment manager punch and joke.
Starting point is 00:33:28 He kind of came in off the top rope. It was great. What was Blake's reaction? Like, was it like- I think he knew it was coming, so he was kind of laughing, but it was definitely one of those, whoa. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But-
Starting point is 00:33:42 You have to have a few haymakers. Yeah. I think for the most part, those guys just get a lot of adoration and have a few haymakers yeah I think for the most part those guys just get a lot of adoration and have a lot of people in their life who are in charge of just pumping them up and then on social it's either they're either gods or people are mad at them
Starting point is 00:33:55 and I don't know they're just kind of in the whirlpool Curry I think out of all of them has the best sense of humor slash slash attitude I would say about it yeah he's like the of them has the best sense of humor slash slash attitude, I would say about it. Yeah, he's like the... He'll do bits and stuff? I think he's the most
Starting point is 00:34:11 normal of all those guys. And I mean normal just in the sense of like... Church or whatever? What do you think? I could just see him like running a bank. Yeah. I don't know. He'd be like the best, the coolest manager at Wells Fargo. Yeah. Hey man, you want to open up a card? yeah or yeah I don't know he'd be like the he'd be like the best
Starting point is 00:34:26 the coolest manager at Wells Fargo yeah hey man you wanna open up a card or he'd be like a maitre d at Medeo you know he's just got that kinda
Starting point is 00:34:33 I could see him doing a bunch of different things whereas some of these other guys I think it's tough when you're really tall too what do you mean cause like when you're like
Starting point is 00:34:42 Durant's like legit seven feet right there's nowhere for that dude to hide at any point in his life he stands out what do you mean like when you're like Durant like Durant's like legit seven feet right there's nowhere for that dude to hide at any point in his life he stands out all the time
Starting point is 00:34:50 no matter where he is what he's doing I think that blog boys interview you guys did was that was up there oh thank you that was up there
Starting point is 00:34:56 in terms of yeah it was very fascinating yeah it's weird people want athletes to be more honest and then when they're more honest they get mad at the honesty.
Starting point is 00:35:05 So I don't even know how you win with an athlete. LeBron's done the best chance. He's done the best version of it because he doesn't do a lot. And when he does a lot, he sounds super profound. But then if you're listening to the stuff he's saying, he doesn't really say that much, but it sounds like he's like, whoa, LeBron's written the barbershop show. He's really unleashing.
Starting point is 00:35:26 And then you listen to it and it's like, whoa, LeBron's really, the barbershop show is really unleashing. And then you listen to it and you're like, what's he's, and it's like, yeah, you know, people need role models. No, I think, I think John won MVP for the barbershop show. Wouldn't you say? Cause he can speak in soundbites. Oh, Stuart was great. Yeah. Like I'm talking about from cold open.
Starting point is 00:35:38 Yeah. Hey John, do you come to barbershops a lot? Only to collect rent. Like he can speak in comedic soundbites and people don't know this television, what you consume as you swipe through the world, it is a visual medium.
Starting point is 00:35:51 You have to speak not in coffee, but in espresso. You got to boil things down to their essence. I would argue he was, he was probably the most overqualified person
Starting point is 00:35:59 you could have had in that. John? But no, because he can be a guest, he can be a host, like that guy. But he also had a lot to lose
Starting point is 00:36:06 think about it he doesn't visually fit again it's a visual medium yeah he's like Candice Parker Draymond Green
Starting point is 00:36:14 right then a 5 foot 8 Jewish dude from Jersey so you want to be on that show Tommy can be on that show I told Tommy I just got to get
Starting point is 00:36:22 my weight up a little bit here my IMDB pro has to go up a little bit well Gerard came and did a whole Hamilton thing. I mean, Gerard. Oh, that was actually a really funny joke. That was actually a really great take, too.
Starting point is 00:36:30 Yeah. I like it. The Hamilton. I've been waiting for the Hamilton backlash takes to happen. And now they're finally happening. Just wait till the movie. You know the movie's going to happen at some point. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:41 They're doing it in the Heights right now. But I love. But yeah. That's not one of the things. So the Netflix thing. Yeah. you have a show now yeah you're gonna do how many like what is it once a week it's yeah it was a big order 32 episodes 32 episodes yeah yeah yeah half hour however much time we want you got to give me advice man you have a lot of advice yeah give it to me man well my advice is you have to be a comedian to do those shows which you are so that's good you got to perform right like you have to perform
Starting point is 00:37:10 mine was more meant to be more just an interview show like and what you realize is that podcasts are just better for that format than yeah i think uh i fully agree the act three variety show to me is so stupid yeah you want You want to see, like, why would I watch Bill Simmons be interviewed by Hasan Minhaj for seven minutes? I'd rather listen to it. Yeah. I'd rather listen to it for 50 minutes.
Starting point is 00:37:32 How are you ever going to compete with Joe Rogan smoking weed with Elon Musk for three hours? Right. There's nothing I can do. Well, unfortunately, you didn't tell me this in 2015. But no, I think. Can I Monday morning quarterback? Yeah, absolutely.
Starting point is 00:37:47 I think the thing that you should have done with like the one episode that I watched with Durant, Nas and you, just let that run. I bet there was so much good stuff that was left on the cutting room floor. You had to cut out 20 minutes of it. I know you had to cut out 20 minutes of it. It should have, what we should have done
Starting point is 00:38:02 with that show is it should have been once a month and it should have been an hour and just all big guests. And that's kind of the model that HBO can really promote too. I think that would have the best chance. But that's the thing. I'm glad we tried it.
Starting point is 00:38:16 We had some fun stuff on it. But the thing is like, and you know this because you're about to do it. It can go wrong in so many ways. And it can, you know this because you're about to do it, it can go wrong in so many ways. Yeah. And it can, you know, only a few of them hit and go right. And you look at the actual batting average of talk shows,
Starting point is 00:38:34 slash shows, whatever, and it's one out of every 12. Yeah. One out of every 10, something like that. Yeah. I think it sounds like- No pressure. Tell the audience what you're doing with this though because I actually think this is going to work so the show is called Patriot Act
Starting point is 00:38:48 with Hasan Minhaj and it's sort of like a weekly comedy investigative show if you saw the special with like me and the screens and all that stuff we sort of put that sort of comedy narrative storytelling style on steroids so I'm standing there and every
Starting point is 00:39:04 week I'll do one investigative report. That's sort of our stake. And then I'll have sort of a wine pairing with that. Just an act too. Some weeks is just going to be one act. Patriot act, one act. It'll be like, hey, we researched this for six months. This is our take on this particular issue.
Starting point is 00:39:21 And I play maestro to the graphics and the field pieces. I come in and out. So if you ever listen to like Radiolab, it's sort of TED talk meets comedy investigative report meets medical satire show but it's just me I really sort of stripped down all the other elements that sort of variety show has where it's like oh you need a guest like I know we don't need a guest oh but you should do sketch I'm like I'm not doing sketch like I'm Tommy's seen it I just sort of storytell one specific story and come in and out of all of the graphics and the data and it's kind of evergreen right so somebody could watch one two years later it has like of the now right but then
Starting point is 00:39:54 the shelf life of it is like hey this is in federal court right now but it's going to the supreme court or hey this is what i think is currently wrong with nba and you'll just see sort of trend lines that'll be like yeah he, he's right. Because I think Netflix has been a hard nut to crack with super hard talk shows. And I think the way you're thinking, I think is the right way to think. It's gotta be stuff that feels like it's attached to now, but I could also watch it five months from now
Starting point is 00:40:16 when I watch 10 in a row. If you wanna watch a thing on legalization of whatever marijuana or whatever, you're like, man, it's gonna still be a thing. Or the census report coming up in the 2020 elections. you're like, man, it's going to still be a thing. Or the census report coming up in the 2020 elections. You're like, yeah, that's a thing. Gerrymandering is a thing. How many writers and all that do you have?
Starting point is 00:40:34 It's actually more news team, man. Our news team is like, yeah. So it's like we have eight to 10 new senior news team members, like hardcore journalists from, you know, Vice, New York Times, opposition research reporting, like nerds, like hardcore journalists from, you know, Vice, New York Times, opposition research reporting, like nerds, like hardcore, like, hey, we found this report. You need to talk about this.
Starting point is 00:40:52 And then we have like six comedy writers. To me, like the biggest thing is do you have a piece of information that you don't know? Right. Like, what are you giving me that I don't know? That's what I felt was so great about your book. Like, give me something I don't know that's what i felt was so great about your book like deep dive give me something i don't know where you're like did you know bernard king averaged in the first 12 minutes of action you're like no one knows this yeah and then you
Starting point is 00:41:13 also paired it with a take do you know what i mean yeah i got you yeah so so it starts in october and then it's 32 straight weeks we're not doing doing 32 straight weeks. We're going to follow like sort of a similar programming schedule that your weeklies have where you're on for 8 to 10. You take some time off. Got it. You reload. It's just – it's so graphics heavy. It's a show. Like as I'm going through a headline, we have like over 168 graphics cues per act.
Starting point is 00:41:43 It's nuts. You know how like when you would when you would do an act one you would go to camera one you'd have an over the shoulder and be like and that's why lebron looks funny in a hat and then it's a photoshop of like lebron this is like when i'm telling you like so i went to the kato institute you'll see the report scrolling through behind me stuff is highlighting it's like a full-on interactive show we didn't even mention the big wrinkle you're naked during this i'm butt naked the whole time that's gonna be weird nobody
Starting point is 00:42:10 and we're shooting in 4k which is like kind of crazy you know 190 countries and it's gonna be a lot of exposure so no guests why i'm with you i it. Unless there's someone who services the act itself. Yeah. So there's some guests that we have on deck, but it's like they service the act. You know what I mean? Yeah. But I'm not just going to be like,
Starting point is 00:42:36 and now from Jane the Virgin, she's here to promote her show. I always make fun of Kimmel about that. After all these years, it's still like, now you know her from Manifest on NBC here she is I was like come on how is this still the format in 2019 but the thing is they're grinding out
Starting point is 00:42:56 four hours a week that's a whole other beast sometimes it's five hours a week it's really hard yeah and especially like you have to appeal to the audience that's there. That's a lot of tourists. Yeah. But I firmly believe like this is just the advantage I have.
Starting point is 00:43:10 I feel like the variety show itself, minus the lasting institutions you have, your Starbucks and your McDonald's, basically your, you know, your Kimmel's and your Kimmel's and blah, blah, blah. But even there, they're starting to pivot. I think that people go to these shows for highly specialized experiences. Like Seth Meyers' show, I think he loves doing a closer look. I think that's his favorite thing. It should just be called A Closer Look with Seth Meyers,
Starting point is 00:43:35 to be honest with you. Yeah. Like the show should be that. Like Oliver's show, I think he loves doing the deep dive. And so to me, I'm like, let this show,
Starting point is 00:43:43 number one, play to my strengths and then number two, not be swimming upstream against what Netflix is trying to do. Like the medium is the message. So make the show for Netflix. Another thing too is like, I think people haven't taken advantage
Starting point is 00:43:55 with Netflix is the white space. It truly is a global platform. It's one of the few things that speaks to everybody around the world. Well, and they have that algorithm too. Yeah. And I just don't think they've had a talent that can sort of speak to both of those things.
Starting point is 00:44:10 So we're choosing headlines on purpose to be like, no, nobody's going to talk about Brazil here in America. They're going to be like, ah, how's that going to connect to, you know what I mean? That's smart.
Starting point is 00:44:18 Yeah. And they also, they get all the data for where people are watching when the Netflix algorithm is both powerful and amazing, but also a little bit creepy. Terrifying. Yeah. You see it like with the horror movies
Starting point is 00:44:29 and the teen movies they do and it's like clear that they've, when they know something works, they're just, all right, let's make seven movies. Let's do more of these. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:36 The only thing that scares me is that people go to Netflix to like escape reality. Yeah. And like my show's pretty. Pretty tense. Fucking real. Like, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:44:49 Like it's, there's jokes, but it's like, hey, this is, these are real things that are happening in the world. That's a variable that's out of my control. I can't control that. Do you know what I mean? Of like, what if people think it's too smart or whatever, but. Just want it to be, you just want it to be really good. Yeah. And it'll take care of itself. Yeah. what jim tells me all the time yeah he's just
Starting point is 00:45:08 like just make it great quality wins i mean yeah the thing is with the the show i had it wasn't it wasn't good enough and it's like now i go back and like i could have wish i'd done this that but in the moment i didn't and it wasn't good enough but did you before you press publish did you feel like it was good enough or in your gut? I don't, you don't, you, once you're too into it, you can't tell anymore. I don't think. I think once you're too deep. The worst part of that happened with my book, which luckily actually did turn out to be good.
Starting point is 00:45:39 Basketball book? Yeah. But it's like there hits a point where you're the only, you know, it's 700 pages and there's all these different puzzle pieces. And it's like, I can't even see this anywhere. Who's your counsel? For the book? For everything. The book was, I basically didn't have one.
Starting point is 00:45:55 I remember when you're forward, you're like, this is like gallons and gallons of coffee, Adderall, and just my sheer passion. By the way, that was one of my favorite things. I don't think people understand. It's like, yeah, sometimes as a creative, you just have to black the fuck out and you have to do that. It takes that. But I have my co-creator of the show,
Starting point is 00:46:12 this guy Prashanth, he really is like my, he's my Tex Winter. He's the guy who's like, all right, man. It's really important. It's really important, man. I'm very lucky.
Starting point is 00:46:20 That's like a variable that I, people don't talk about enough. Yeah, Oh yeah. Someone kind of to be like, you know, you have to have a Brennan Chappelle thing. You just have to have an offensive coordinator to be like, look, man, this is, this is insanity or this is, this is the one. Yeah. It's funny.
Starting point is 00:46:37 We, we have that. We didn't get there with the TV show, but we have that at the, uh, the ringer. And this is one of the reasons I thought it would work. Like I had the inner circle that I knew was like the right inner circle. Like, all right, we can make this. Here's what we can do. And I also have all these people that I trusted to help with it. And honestly, it's.
Starting point is 00:46:55 How did you find those people? Just organically. Graylin. The first four anyway. But that was killer what you did there. Like cultivating like this sort of minor league to major league system of like, okay. Yeah, it's harder now than it was. Like the grant line,
Starting point is 00:47:10 there were so many good writers that were available. People were just bad at looking for writers in 2010 and 11. And now people are better at it. I think Twitter helps. Yeah. I think if there's a good piece now, you'll see it on Twitter or it'll get forwarded to you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:24 Wasn't really the case as much last decade so there were just people that were good that were just kind of waiting for the right team to go to now it's a little bit harder
Starting point is 00:47:32 it's the same the same things with comedy where yeah there's a lot of shows that are like that that are sort of in that vein yeah that can be
Starting point is 00:47:40 kind of fall through the cracks and you can find that sort of oh this writer has a blue check on Twitter they're really funny blah blah blah, blah. I just keep thinking about that. Where's the white space?
Starting point is 00:47:50 Yeah. I keep trying to pick stories that are sort of bespoke to me. Do you know what I mean? That it's just like nobody's going to touch it. They're either too old. I mean, pardon me. They're too white. They're too like – they're not going to want – this is tricky territory.
Starting point is 00:48:04 You know what I mean? When you get into sort of like the race and this and international politics. And it's funny, like there's so many tricky territories now. This is probably the best time to do this show. If you can pull it off, if you can wield the saber,
Starting point is 00:48:16 lightsaber properly, yes. Cause I think a lot of the comics get caught up because it's just like, yo, are you a Padawan or a Jedi? Cause to engage in this warfare, you need to be a Jedi. But now with twitter everyone's like i gotta take yeah let me tag let me tag in and it's like i don't think you should that's why i stay quiet a lot on twitter because it's like i'm not ready for i'm not ready for warfare in this way have you noticed there's
Starting point is 00:48:40 like there's beef rappers and there's studio album rappers yeah kanye isn't a beef rapper he's a studio album rapper that's my thing i'm a studio album comedian i'm not a twitter beef comedian i'm not good at that so i i try to i try to just try to think who's a good twitter beef comedian i mean there's people that definitely get caught up in whatever the Outreach Society topic of the day is. Yeah, and then like a blog post will come out, then they'll respond to the blog post and they'll do their thing, you know? You know, they feed off of that energy. That's like part of the brand or persona. I would say 2018 has the most landmines we've had with just commenting and doing comedy and being a public person. Especially like the sexual politics that have been going on and the Me Too, all that stuff.
Starting point is 00:49:36 People rethinking the boundaries of not only the way we behave now, but things that happened 25, 30, 40 years ago. It's so tough to talk about. But I think the thing is we just gotta, everyone has to, I try to look at it positively. You just have to elevate your game. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:54 Do you know what I mean? You know, it's just like- Well, I was thinking about it more like as, from a comedian standpoint, right? The role of the comedian dating back to fucking medieval times
Starting point is 00:50:04 is like, all right, now this guy's gonna come in, he's gonna lighten the mood a little bit, make you think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. point right the role of the comedian yeah dating back to sure fucking medieval times is like sure all right now this guy's gonna come in he's gonna lighten the mood a little bit make you think yeah and now it's in 2018 i'm not sure how some of this stuff is like can't be lightened yeah yeah i mean it's just like politics has gotten so ridiculous that it's like you can't out-satirize that. I don't know how Estelle even is going to do Trump again. Like, what are we parroting? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:35 But that's why I like sports because sports is so definitively, I hate the Patriots. Not I don't hate the Patriots, but like the Patriots lost the Lions last night. People just hate the Patriots. You know, everyone hate the Patriots, but like the Patriots lost the Lions last night. People just hate the Patriots. You know, everyone bands together. Yeah, they lost. And like LeBron goes to the Lakers. That's this big moment you can share with all these people.
Starting point is 00:50:54 And it's the one thing, look, sports and art, movies, right? But movies are more polarized now. No, but this is two things that we can argue about. I can be like, man, you're an idiot. You think Back to the Future is a good movie? You're an idiot you're an idiot right and be like hey you want to go get a drink but religion and politics oh my god and music people argue about music oh yeah and they take it personally i would say religion and politics are the two where it's like religion politics two worse but music somewhere probably between these sports movies right but people take music really personally yeah not as personal as politics and
Starting point is 00:51:27 religion yeah yeah i would say religion's the last rail of politics is probably next yeah i don't know what's i wonder if carlin was alive how he'd handle all this i think you know what like chappelle did this chappelle did those netflix specials down on his position i'm gonna cross some lines fuck you yeah like he really was fired up about it. But you know, Carlin actually, because he was such a written guy. Like this is one of the best things I learned. What I heard about George Carlin, he would have three running documents. One would just be free writing.
Starting point is 00:51:57 The second would be like what would then become the workshopping act. That's the second document. Then the third would be like, even though he's an atheist, like atheist like his version of the old testament yeah this is going into the special it's like hello please sit down sit down period it was like transcribed what the special is sort of three running documents so since he was such a man of the pen in like writing rewriting fixing when he would put out a special i think in 2018 if he was still alive it would have gotten all the checks of like okay I cross checked this you know what I mean argumentatively
Starting point is 00:52:30 the thing that seems like we're missing now is just that person who's willing to go against the grain in a way that makes you think and just kind of makes you reconsider like oh alright I never thought of it that way you don't think we have that right now?
Starting point is 00:52:45 No, we do have it. With the Bill Burrs and all those guys? I was talking about from a George Carlin standpoint. Oh, okay. Like somebody who really comes in guns blazing, which Chappelle, the more comedy he does, it's got to be somebody who's like an icon. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:00 But also has the weight. Yeah. And I don't know. I mean, even like, I think it's weird because Louis caught up in this, obviously, but Louis was that guy for a few years, you know, who was like, I'll say it. I'll talk about it.
Starting point is 00:53:13 I'll go there. I think what's cool is I think there is like, there is this vacuum that, not vacuum, but there is this opening that I think my class- For your generation. My generation. 100% agree. Like, you know, I think Mulaney is definitely broken out generation 100% agree like you know I think
Starting point is 00:53:25 Mulaney is definitely broken out to be that voice took that spot that mantle yeah but I think that my era we're all in our 30s to like
Starting point is 00:53:33 you know now 40s it'll be like there's gonna be a guy or gal who sort of it's a little like NBA yeah it's like when
Starting point is 00:53:40 not to compare any of these guys now to Jordan but like when Jordan left and then any of these guys now to Jordan, but like when Jordan left and then all these next guys were there, but they weren't quite the guys yet. Yeah. And it was like, all right, now we have Malone and Barkley and Green.
Starting point is 00:53:53 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, okay. You know how like for me in NBA, around year five or year six, you can kind of tell, all right, this person is going to be a star. So like Giannis, Devin Booker, these guys to me, I'm like, no, they're going to be the real deal. They got the skill set. They have all that stuff.
Starting point is 00:54:08 Now it's like, are you going to put your foot on the gas? In comedy, I would say between years 10 and 20, that's when you really start to separate and be like, all right, what are you really about? You can start taking big swings and sort of you hit these big inflection points. So.
Starting point is 00:54:24 Who else is in your class? Me, Gerard, Michael Che, Michelle Wolf, Ryan Hamilton. Like that's sort of like my sort of like era generation. It really is like basketball. Yeah. Yeah. And now like a lot of us, we're breaking off
Starting point is 00:54:46 and doing our solo things. We're leaving, you know, when Barkley left the Sixers, we're going to the Suns. You know what I mean? We're just like, all right,
Starting point is 00:54:52 let's see what you can do. And now it's like, can you break off and have an MVP year? Yeah. All those guys are a little bit older than me. Like Oliver,
Starting point is 00:54:59 those guys are in their, you know, Seth, they're older, you know? So, I'm excited. I'll be interested to see what happens to
Starting point is 00:55:06 late night shows next year or next decade because i think you can make a case this is the last batch of the old school late night house yeah i think kimmel's probably gonna step down in like a year year and a half you think i do what's he gonna do i just think he's doesn't want to do this for 30 years right right um i think jimmy does i mean fallon i think fallon wants to do it forever i don't think he would know what else to do i think i think it'd be really tough for him to reset that's such a grind to do it daily again i'm a guy like i really have to think about all right if i'm gonna say something i gotta just i need time to gestate and ruminate on and be like all, all right, this is the take. You know?
Starting point is 00:55:45 Right. I can't do it daily. I just can't. Yeah. I don't know. So like if Jimmy told them, I'm out. I'm out in February 2020 or whatever. I don't even know who they would replace him with or what direction they would go.
Starting point is 00:55:59 Like, I think, I just can't imagine they would replace him with a white male. I think. That would be like, it would just be so boring at that. Like, come on, take a chance. Really? Give somebody an opportunity, you know? I honestly can't predict it. I can't predict it.
Starting point is 00:56:17 I'm excited to see. I'm nervous. We're in the eye, you know, I'm in the eye of the storm. I'm nervous to see how the choices that I make are going to translate or not translate. Well, the reality is the next decade, instead of late night shows, it might be a bunch of different shows like your show. Centered around like a theme or concept.
Starting point is 00:56:34 Yeah, just eight, nine, ten shows that you can get on demand and the whole concept. Because nobody like Kyle's generation, Kyle's 25, are you 25? 24, close enough. 24. Kyle, who do you turn to? He doesn't watch things on time.
Starting point is 00:56:48 No, but who do you watch to get some understanding on the insanity that is the world? Oliver? Do I watch Oliver? No, no. Reddit? Maybe Vice. I don't know. Vice?
Starting point is 00:56:58 Maybe Vice. But he watches all the stand-up specials, though. Oh, yeah. If we're counting that. Yeah. Sure. You'll watch everything on Netflix? Yeah. I watch the stand-ups on Netflix. That's really the main reason I got Netflix. Are you a stand-up specials, though. Oh, yeah. If we're counting that. Yeah. Sure. You'll watch everything on Netflix? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:05 I watch the stand-ups on Netflix. That's really the main reason I got Netflix. Are you a stand-up? No. Are you serious? I appreciate all that shit, though. He's just my nephew. No, his generation is all on demand.
Starting point is 00:57:16 So they don't think about like, oh, it's 1130. SNL is coming on. They don't even think in the concept of channel. Life is a stream. Yeah. Life is a stream. It's like, what like what's next oh he has a new special yeah so that's why I do feel like Netflix is gonna crack
Starting point is 00:57:32 it at the whole concept of on demand comedy is gonna be crack I think about everything like Samara I grew up with all these guys like he's one of my friends I grew up with in Sacramento I think about all my friends I think about their lives I think about their commute to work I think about the white headphones on BART when they're on the train. How can I give you a piece of content with the least sort of barrier of resistance to make sense
Starting point is 00:57:55 of stuff? It's why when you would drop an article, it would make its rounds around WhatsApp groups. Yeah. You've condensed something into 15 minutes about like why Kobe Bryant isn't that great. And we and we'd all be like well he's blatantly wrong and he's biased but okay but now that thing would be five minutes correct i've ignored your Oliver Oliver's proved proved that otherwise you can do i'm talking about the the writing thing like sure i think if i had oh it's gotten pared down because part of the concept of when i wrote my column like in the late 90s early 2000s was like i grew up reading these giant awesome long pieces and it's like I want your attention for 15 minutes.
Starting point is 00:58:29 Now it's really hard to get anybody's and everyone's reading on the phone. It's not fun to read anything on your phone for 15 minutes. That's true. So I think you'd have to reconstruct how long that is. But I still feel like the video
Starting point is 00:58:42 and the platform of like the stuff you're doing so you think the way i'm performing with all the crazy stuff happening behind me yeah that actually would play too yeah because i keep thinking you know like sometimes i'll be in the writer's room they'll be like what are you talking about i'm like just put your white headphones on like be at work imagine your boss walking by control tab okay now i'm gonna i'm watching you know how people at work don't do work you know when you go to the ringer and they're you're all like are you writing your thing and they have another tab open and they're watching other stuff oh yeah and they're doing another thing yeah so i'm like how
Starting point is 00:59:10 do you make that compelling or interesting for that for that commute in or commute out that's like a big i used to get in trouble with the page two and then to 0102 yeah and it had the big yellow background with and i used to get these emails from these people begging not to have the yellow background because it was so obvious when they're reading page two. Hilarious. That's smart, though, that you put it in yellow. Well, then they had this whole printout page. It was like a print page. If you press that link, it turned white.
Starting point is 00:59:38 So a lot of people would read the print pages. But now they would just reading on their phones I think what you did though which I actually take as like an inspiration you became a brand identity around and don't take this the wrong way I call them hoopers a lot of us who just love sports we're 24 hour
Starting point is 00:59:59 fitness weekend warriors we have jobs but we watch sports and pop culture obsessively. We couldn't do it professionally, but it's like our love and our passion. You became a representation of that. That was a white space you filled. Who else do you think is in that weight class? Well, at that time there wasn't anybody.
Starting point is 01:00:16 But who is now? Like who's the equivalent of that? I don't know. I think it's all spread out. Because Peter Vesey is not a hooper. Peter Vesey is like a, you know, he's a journalist, but he's not what you and that brand represents. To me, like what I want to do on Patriot Act is represent that sort of identity. There's a lot of people in America who look like me.
Starting point is 01:00:32 Yeah. Who've either been spoken to or spoken for. That just like American politics is told to them via Stephen. Stephen Colbert is, I love Stephen. Stephen is an OG Daily Show alumni, so am I. But his experience and his identity as an American and his analysis of international politics is very different from mine yeah the way he looks at drone strikes is very different from the way I look at drone strikes
Starting point is 01:00:52 do you know what I'm saying yeah or immigration reform or a lot of these the Kaepernick issue so we should talk about that if I can if I can tap into that I think that could be a new thing yeah and I think we're starting to see that in politics with the Ocasio-Cortez's and a lot of the stuff of like, oh, this is what a both American and international identity can look like. You can be both of these things. You know what I mean? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:18 I mean, diversity of opinion, I think we really felt it two years ago. Yeah. of opinion i think we really felt it two years ago yeah and when i think people all had their own uh perception of how things were going yeah yeah and then it was like this news flash like you're like nobody thinks trump's gonna win and then yeah you kind of realize that there's all these states in america there's 50 they're all different i remember it was before Trump when I realized this it was so random it was like the mid 2000s and I was on a plane
Starting point is 01:01:49 and they were running the Jay Leno show it was like one of the early times with TV where they would just everyone's watching the same show
Starting point is 01:01:56 it wasn't even it was like United or something but it was like when they would just run content for you on the TVs you didn't even get the control
Starting point is 01:02:04 and they ran the Jay Leno show and two thirds of the people on the plane were like laughing. And I was like, what the fuck is going on? Why are all these people laughing at the Jay Leno show? And it was like this epiphany. I was like, ah, it's a big country. Okay. Because we had connected like through Chicago or something.
Starting point is 01:02:22 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, sorry. I get it. Dude, I love doing that, by the way. When I travel, I love walking around the airport and just like looking at the way people like watch stuff on their iPads, what they're watching. You know, when you do the walk back and use the bathroom?
Starting point is 01:02:34 Somebody's always watching some R-rated something that they shouldn't be watching. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Two people going to town on their laptop and they're like turning it. Yeah, it's crazy. But then you're like, that many people watch Law & Order SVU.u okay it's good to know like you know what i mean yeah you realize that a lot of people watch the ranch you're like all right that's the thing the ranch yeah it's a huge country there's 250 million people in it yeah totally um but yeah what do you think about the
Starting point is 01:02:58 cap a lot of people have netflix though pay that one netflix yeah everyone under 25 has it yeah if they ever just said we're charging $20 a month this month I think they could probably get it totally even from Kyle because I'll pay that shit
Starting point is 01:03:10 that's why how much would you pay for Netflix what were you watching last night what's your limit last night yeah what did you watch
Starting point is 01:03:14 last night what did I watch last night the Pats game with me I did yeah that was last night last night was a bad because we did Pats game and then we did a podcast after
Starting point is 01:03:21 yeah I watched the new episode of Shameless and went to bed okay i was at pat's game podcast insecure that's your show i like i just like insecure because it brings me in this whole world that i'm not part of yeah i want to just go in it's like isa and her friends yeah i don't know any people i was i remember i saw season two and i was just like there's just
Starting point is 01:03:42 a lot of fucking yeah everybody's fucking man it's a lot of fucking. Yeah, there really is. Everybody's fucking, man. It's a lot of sex. She got dark in the one last time. Yeah. She was getting a little stocky. Yeah. Let's talk Kaepernick. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:52 Kaepernick, Nike. Man. All right. So this is happening right now. What's your move on your show? How do you handle it on your show? I'm actually, I'm, you know, I'm not mad at it. I really am not. You know, when people are just like, well, you know, hey, you know,'m not mad at it I really am not you know when people are just like well you know hey
Starting point is 01:04:06 you know Nike they also have they have all these problematic practices I'm like look you can do two things at once yeah like duality is a thing I know we're living in an age where like nuance is not a thing but you can do something that is good and also do something that is bad that doesn't preclude you from you know not doing something
Starting point is 01:04:22 that's bad but I remember actually this is like this is a really cool story. So last year, you know, I'm friends with sort of the J. Cole Dreamville camp, right? So Cole had this concert in New York and they invited us out. I went with Trayvon actually. Yeah. So we go and we go backstage after the show and it's me, Trayvon, Kaepernick, Nessa, and Cole. And we hang out to like four o'clock in the morning.
Starting point is 01:04:50 And we just stayed up all night talking. It's almost like five o'clock actually when we got home. And I realized he was actually still with Nike at the time we were talking. I was like, hey, you're like, you're not, you know, he was in sort of the midst of like all the Baltimore stuff was happening. And just a lot of stuff was going on. But Nike didn't release him from the contract. And I just remember thinking, I'm like, that's actually kind of like a cool move by Nike.
Starting point is 01:05:14 I don't know what the financials of it come out to, but the fact that they weren't sort of casting him away. That actually kind of was kind of cool to me. And look, the fact that they timed it out, that's still a bet. Right? They still took a chance. They still swung. We're like, all right, our 30th anniversary, we're going to make Colin the face of it.
Starting point is 01:05:36 You know the way it is working with executives. It was pretty bossy. It could have backfired. I was surprised they did it. Yeah. It was a bigger risk than usually those companies take credit for are like well they gained you know six billion dollars in market share look you're monday morning quarterbacking yeah there's been times how many blog posts would have been written had it backfired and been like you idiots you should have never done this you know the way the country is it's too divisive blah blah blah so i give them
Starting point is 01:06:01 credit that hey they took a chance they actually the stance that they took was on the right side of history, I think. And it panned out. They're paying him. How else is he supposed to make money? Good. The whole point of an ad- I'm not mad at it. The whole point of an ad
Starting point is 01:06:14 is to raise awareness for a sponsor. Okay. In a way that doesn't disgrace the sponsor in some way. That was like a great ad. It got people talking about Nike for a week. Just fundamentally, it worked. But philosophically, do do you disagree with me is it possible to do something positive and also make money are those two do those both of those things have to be antithetical to one another let's take a break and talk from our sponsors we'll be back after this um meundies.com
Starting point is 01:06:40 i don't know man that's yeah that like, they don't have to be. I think what we're missing in 2018 is people are complicated and life is complicated. Nothing's perfect. And people make mistakes. And nobody says the right thing 100% of the time. And you got to have some leeway. Yeah, I mean, look, at my Dallas show, we did a thing where people could register to vote in the lobby. But some people might be like, well, you're making money off of it.
Starting point is 01:07:05 I'm like, no, I'm trying to do something good. And yes, I made money. Okay. Like, sorry. Sorry, I wasn't 100% of what you wanted me to be. Yeah, yeah. I'm only 96%. Yeah, but we're all trying to do the best we can given sort of the finite amount of time that we have and the resources that we have.
Starting point is 01:07:21 So I'm not mad at it, man. People's expectations of other people have never been higher. Yeah. this whole thing i'm just like look you you you're looking for other people to be your hero you just need to call your dad yeah we need to nip all this this hero worship needs to stop just call your dad or your mom and try to fix whatever is going on nobody's fucking perfect yeah but like it's like nobody's gonna bat a thousand nobody's gonna make every right decision yeah i think the the Twitter mob mentality we have now, if somebody fucks up, says the wrong thing, gives some interview where they didn't phrase thing correctly,
Starting point is 01:07:52 wrote some piece that they didn't think out correctly, it doesn't mean you should just get taken to the woodshed for 48 hours. That's the part I don't like. I think hopefully is that there's going to be enough pieces of content that we all put out there that the vast majority will see that like, they can see your intonations, your inflections, and your intentions. I hope so. Do you know what I mean? Be like, you know, Hasan, when he said that thing about you should call your dad, he didn't mean to like make fun of people who maybe don't have a father figure in their life. What he was trying to say is just try to fix what you have internally in your own you know what i mean talk but that's
Starting point is 01:08:28 going to be a take for somebody you know i mean not everyone has a dad hassan i know but it's just like you just you what you're doing is is reductive and dad shaming yeah yeah yeah but it's just like my whole thing i know this sounds my my other take to that is just like, look me in the, come on. I know that's not a take, but it's like, come on. Like, you know what I was trying to do. Please look at the overall arc. But I know that's not a thing. I think the most important people in everybody's life right now are the grandparents and the old people. Because they're just, they don't understand this whole world.
Starting point is 01:09:03 And they still have crazy takes and they make dinner more fun. And you just leave dinner and you're like, wow, I can't believe my mom made that comment about so-and-so. But it's just old people. Unfortunately, in old people, one of the old people is our president.
Starting point is 01:09:19 Amazing. It's incredible. In general, we give old people more leeway because they're old. Sure. It's like the Seinfeld. Define old. How old is old people? I would say like over 70. That's incredible. In general, we give old people more leeway because they're old. Sure. It's like the Seinfeld show. Define old. How old is old people?
Starting point is 01:09:26 I would say like over 70. That's amazing. Just a tiny bit more leeway. It's amazing that so many people in power are over 70. Yeah. That call all the shots. And 80. It's nuts.
Starting point is 01:09:35 There's Supreme Court justices that are like 80 plus. Yeah. And then if you look at the way like your own parents engage with the internet, you're like, what? Yeah. And then this person gets to determine like legislation on a woman's body yeah like you're just like my mom is like 71 and couldn't figure out how to get amazon on her smart tv for like a year and a half right right we had to keep coming back you're just like if you're like mrs simmons what should we do
Starting point is 01:09:59 about net neutrality she'd be like, Alexa, what? No, net neutrality, mom. Mrs. Simmons, net neutrality. What's your take on it? Well, old people also focus on the three or four, whatever, TV shows or personalities or whatever and get a lot of their takes from them. Like Bill Maher, he's an order and remount to my mom's life.
Starting point is 01:10:21 She means a lot. Yeah, she loves Bill Maher. And it's like, I can't wait for Maher's take on Kaepernick. You know, old people really like me too, though. Yeah, that's good. It's pretty cool. They're like, you're very, you know, they go, you're very,
Starting point is 01:10:33 you have a lot of moxie. A lot of moxie? Yeah, they say stuff like that. You're adorable. You're very passionate. You're adorable and you have strong takes. Yeah. Keep it up.
Starting point is 01:10:44 Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah so the show comes out what day october 28th sunday we're a sunday show sunday show yeah interesting yeah sunday sunday morning or you know there's no time so i think that the thing we're going to operate in is that sunday monday tuesday window i like that spot how many shows before you go full heat check and do a king's episode dude one of the big things i want to go full heat check and do a Kings episode dude one of the big things I want to do is I want to do
Starting point is 01:11:07 a big sports one there's one that I have I'll say off off this that I think is really exciting can we hear your thoughts on the Kings because last time you came on
Starting point is 01:11:15 you talked about so Bagley Bagley was a safe choice he was a safe choice is that what we're calling bad now safe well it's it's that it's
Starting point is 01:11:22 you're not going to get it's like when we drafted... What's his name? Who won Rookie of the Year? Who we ended up trading away to New Orleans. Tyreek? Tyreek. He won Rookie of the Year.
Starting point is 01:11:32 He was a safe choice. He averaged like, you know, like 18 or 19. Should have taken Luka. He could have saved the franchise. You really think Luka's going to pan out? I do. Even when I saw pictures of him at Media Day and he looked a little doughy, I didn't waver. Did I judge the photos for a while? Yes. Yeah, I do. Even when I saw pictures of him at media day and he looked a little doughy, I didn't waver. Did I judge the photos for a while?
Starting point is 01:11:48 Yes. Yeah, I did. I totally judged the photos. His arms looked a little flabby. Yeah, he looked like the guys I play with at 24-hour fitness. He looked like he had kind of a, not a gut, but the makings of a gut. Not a gut. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:58 It's like, what were you doing all summer? Alonzo looked heavy too in the media day today. Yeah, when he was benching the two 45 plates I was like what's going on And he's arching his back You can't lift the way I lift with my friends You're a professional athlete You know what I mean when you're with your friends And you're like put on another 25 and you're like arching your back
Starting point is 01:12:16 And you're looking all weird That's the way we look I think Lonzo's probably breaking down Because he's probably had so many People in his life be either like What's up with LeBron and what's up with your dad? Those are the two questions he gets all summer. He has no identity. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:32 Name your three favorite facts about Lonzo. It's like being in Basketball Jackson 5. It's all about what the dad wants you to do. Yeah, he's basically Tito. Yeah, he's like, you know I have an identity. He's really talented. Yeah, yeah. But it's just constant.
Starting point is 01:12:44 What's up with LeBron, man? You talk to LeBron? No. Yeah. He's like, you know, he's really talented. Yeah. Yeah. But it's just constant. What's up with the line, man? You talk to LeBron. Yeah. Yeah. What's up with your dad? Yeah. Hey,
Starting point is 01:12:49 can I ask you a question? Yeah. Yo, how is Shams Charania the most powerful man in basketball right now? How is he breaking all this news? I don't know. He's like 25, 25 years old.
Starting point is 01:12:59 He kind of looks like my cousin. And he doesn't like you guys could be like breaking every major news story. If we ever, if we ever filmed you guys could be like second cousins. He's breaking every major news story. If we ever, if we ever filmed a Shams like fake documentary. Get Shams on the, I got to meet Shams.
Starting point is 01:13:11 He's always in a suit. He's like a superhero. Reporter superhero. But everybody's just, every professional athlete, they're like, you want me to give you my social security number?
Starting point is 01:13:18 Sure thing. Like he'll give them, where are you getting this? Just wait. He's a Watergate level like breaking news in the sports world. Yeah, just wait till he hits
Starting point is 01:13:25 his mid-30s. Oh, he's going to be, yeah, yeah. Ten more years of experience. That's going to be breakaway season. Yeah, sure. All that stuff.
Starting point is 01:13:32 Well, it was good seeing you. Congrats on your show. I'm looking forward to it. Thanks, man. 32 episodes. 32, man. Yeah. God.
Starting point is 01:13:38 Let's do it. All right. I'll send you at least one idea for season two. All right. All right. Thanks to Hassan. Thanks to ZipRecruiter.
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Starting point is 01:14:27 I'm a bruised soul I never was And I don't have to be

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