The Bobby Bones Show - AMY: Sneaky Signs of Burnout (Plus, Underrated Love Languages)

Episode Date: October 19, 2025

This week, Amy and Kat start with a listener voicemail that brings some unexpected joy before diving into underrated love languages that deserve more attention: consistency, attunement, vulnerability, foreplay, and nurture. They also talk about burnout…specifically, the subtle ways it shows up at work and in life. Being “the responsive one” can quietly become part of your identity and why that’s not always something to be proud of. It’s an episode about boundaries, connection, and remembering that responsiveness doesn’t equal value…in work or in love. Sign up for the Feeling Things newsletter HERE! Watch us on Youtube HERE! Call and leave a voicemail: 877-207-2077 Email: [e-mail] HOSTS: Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy Kat Van Buren // threecordstherapy.com // @KatVanburenSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed human. A win is a win. A win is a win. I don't care what you're saying. Yep, that's me. Clivert Taylor the 4th. You might have seen the skits,

my basketball and college football journey, or my career in sports media. Well, now I'm bringing all of that excitement to my brand new podcast, The Clifers Show. This is a place for raw, unfills of conversations with athletes, creators, and voices that not only deserve to be heard, but celebrated.

So let's get to it. Listen to the. the Clifford show on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. And for more behind the scenes, follow at Clifford and at TikTok podcast network on TikTok. Hey, I'm Dr. Maya Shunker, a cognitive scientist and hosts of the podcast, a slight change of plans, a show about who we are and who we become when life makes other plans. I wish that I hadn't resisted for so long the need to change. We have to be willing to live with a kind of uncertainty that none of us.

You can have opinions. You can have like a strong stance. And then there's your body having its own program. Listen to a slight change of plans on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On a recent episode of the podcast Money and Wealth with John Ho Bryant, I sit down with Tiffany the budgetista Aliche to talk about what it really takes to take control of your money. What would that look like in our families if everyone was able to pass on wealth to the people when they're no longer here? We break down budgeting, financial discipline, and how to build real wealth, starting with the mindset shifts. Too many of us were never, ever taught. If you've ever felt you didn't get the memo on money, this conversation is for you to hear more. Listen to Money and Wealth with John Hope Bryant from the Black Effect Network on the I'd Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get.

Kid, your podcast. One, two, three. Feelings that you just want some. Amy and Kat got you covered like an arm, brother. Ladies and fellas, we just follow in a spirit where it tells us. From the real stuff to the chill stuff and the in between. Sometimes the best thing you can do it just out. And feel things.

This is Feeling Things with Amy and Kat. Happy Tuesday. Welcome to Feeling Things. I'm Amy. And I'm Kat. And I think we both have feelings of the day, but we got to start with yours because my feeling is based on your feeling. So my feeling is grateful. I'm feeling grateful because I wanted to change something in our schedule. And I feel like you're not going to feel this way, but I feel this way. You went above and beyond to make it work for both of us.

Yeah, you're right. I don't really see it as going. You're like you're ready to go above and beyond. I don't really see it as going above and beyond. But I think that we both have shown. each other over the last several months like, hey, I know that if I am able to show up for you in what's best for you, then if possible, you'll do the same. Like, I think that if I can make it work, I want to make it work. So I could make it work. I mean, it's just rescheduling a mammogram. It's just my yearly. It's not like it was a, I had an appointment last week and they're like, we needed to come back next week. Yeah, but still, you schedule, that was a scheduled thing. And my thing, I just want to go on vacation.

Yeah, which is kind of tied into our unique love languages that we're going to talk about in a minute or underrated love languages, some that you don't hear about often. And Kat's love language is definitely travel. Acts of vacation, as the internet calls it. But the funny thing about this is we're not, we can't travel right now for multiple reasons. So we're just going to do a staycation. but usually when people do staycations. Wait, you didn't tell me that part.

Yes, I did. You did? I mean, I knew you weren't traveling far. No. I thought, well, wait. No, we can't. So we moved. Okay.

It's fine. So I moved the man. Do you want to take it back? You can't take it back. Well, you're not even going like to, I don't know, Leepers Fork. Well, Leeper's work is like 15 minutes from our house now. I mean, it's still a destination. We're going to do things.

Okay. But we're just not going. Usually on staycations. I feel like people stay in like a hotel in their city, right? Yeah. Well, our house is still new to us. So we're staying in our house. Yeah. Oh, I think you can do a staycation at home.

Okay. For sure. But all we're just, Patrick's taking off two days of work and I'm taking off two days of work and just have a four-day weekend and just do stuff with us. But do things that we normally wouldn't do, you know? So maybe we'll go to Lieber's Fork. But yeah, we're not. Does that change?

No, I didn't. No, I was just giving you a hard time. I totally would have done the exact same thing. But it was after you were like, well, wait a second, that's a mammogram. And really I'm like, I don't know, putting it off, surely it can't be that big of a deal. I just moved it two weeks from now. But the more we talk about it, so my feeling of the day is nervous, like, oh, shoot, what if I needed to go in or to flip it so that I'm not nervous?

I'm like, what if postponing it two weeks is like a good thing. Yeah. Because of like I get a different technician or a scan or maybe if something does need to be caught, it'll be caught at that point. But it wouldn't have been caught two weeks ago. Yeah. Okay. But it's not going to be anything super serious because, of course, I don't want that.

But if it were to work out that way, then and October is breast cancer awareness month. However, every month is breast cancer awareness month. I just want to put that out there. Okay, I was like, well, I thought you're going to say then, because your mammogram would have been in October either way. I know. It just happened to work out that way. I just have friends that have gone through breast cancer.

And October is such a touchy month for them because of the pink out stuff. Like every company is selling things pink and they're profiting big time. Now, are they making a donation to breast cancer research through the sale of pink items? Yes. And they're also profiting off of it. If it was 100% of. the money, then that would be different. And also, they're so passionate about that and more research does need to be done. And because it's a woman thing, it gets, you know, to one month a year where,

you know, if this was, if men had to deal with this sort of thing, like there would potentially be more research. I mean, that's a whole other rabbit trail we could go down. But I just was going to support my girls, not my girls, but all my girls. And your girls. And my girls. And my girls. Everybody's girls, all the girls everywhere. Which this is a very, that was a very female statement. My girls, we're supporting girls, but we do have male listeners. We have many male listeners. We have avid male listeners.

We were keeping track of them. I feel like we were like, okay, now that's anytime we would get an email or something, you'd be like, okay, now we have eight. And then. And my little brother is an avid listener now. Okay, nine. So that's not, yeah. And then we got a voicemail.

10? We were already up to like 12. Yeah. Oh, really? Okay, so we keep staying in the low, but we need to give men credit where credit is due. Well, and I think that I didn't mean to bag on the men for like if this was your disease, there would be more research, but that's probably more in like the perimenopause. No, I think that you're right. There's a lot of, a lot of research that is then used to care for women is research done on men. I mean, we're getting there. I think things are getting better, but cross my fingers. Yeah.

And men also can get breast cancer. A million little things. Yeah. Which is a show. And it's not giving it anything away because it's in the first episode. It's not a surprise. One of the characters is a man who has breast cancer. He goes to a support group.

I haven't thought about that show. Well, since the last time you brought it up, maybe a couple of months ago. But every once in a while you do bring it up. and it is a really good show. I just don't think I finished it. You have to finish. Okay, so when I started this show, if you have not watched this show and you're, even if you're not looking for one, put it on a list. It is so good. And it's only like six seasons. You know how some of these shows go too long. It's only six. It is so good. The first time I watched it, I stopped at like season three or four. The next time I started with Patrick, we watched the whole thing. The last episode, the last season.

but like the last episode might have been the best and worst at the same time episode of TV. Okay. Well, I need to go. It hits on so like just check out the final season. It's funny. It's drama. It's sports. It's, you know, they like sports.

Awareness. Yes. It's there's everything in it. My husband liked it. So we both loved it equally. So it's not like, I think for our male listeners, I think sometimes think that show is going to be too like girly. Yeah.

You know? Well, seeing of. your husband and all husbands out there. This voicemail is from, yes, a male listener, but he's also a husband and his wife listens. So he started listening and he, in a nutshell, is saying, we help his marriage. No, we help him better understand his wife. I also just want to give him a shout out before we play it that good for you for being proactive

about figuring out ways that you can understand your partner. It's actually so sweet. It's really sweet when you think about it. So everyone listening, if you're married or your boyfriend or something, you can send them this voicemail and be like, hey, what are you doing to be proactive? Hey, Amy and Kat, Tony out of Iowa. Just wanted to say, love the show and listen to it since July. Just been a really big help for me and my wife, just helped me understand her a little bit

better, helped her. She loves the things, the four things with Amy Brown. And so she loves the new podcast as well. But I actually really liked the new one, too. So I just wanted to say thanks for what you guys do. And it really makes an impact. And as a guy, you know, I know that we're not your demographic, but I think there's quite a few of us that enjoy it too. So it helps us just enjoy our wives, our spouses and understand them just a little bit better.

So thanks, guys. Love it. Hey, guys. Hey, men. I think that's so sweet that he is listening to this. Well, it sounds like he might get a little entertainment from it. But to listen to that just to help him understand and because his wife enjoys it is really sweet. Yeah.

Good for you. It's like one of his love languages. Which we're learning that there's more than just five maybe. Yeah. This is from Dr. Elizabeth Frederick. She listed out underrated love languages, which the other ones we've talked about before, there's five very common ones. And consistency is the first one that Dr. Frederick listed here.

and I feel like that's the one I appreciate about my boyfriend the most is his steadfast. He's very consistent. So what consistency will look like, actions over words, reliable, dependable, available, available for both ups and downs, and doesn't leave you guessing or confused. And I'm like, that is my boyfriend in a nutshell. That is his love language. I will say, you know, I like touch, which is one of the main five. like massage just hold hand like it's like touching it's like yeah touching words of affirmation are

my number one to receive and then touch is a close second and i'm trying to figure out to say this so i don't want it to come out weird i'm nervous okay he doesn't like touch no he does but i i i was he likes a different kind of touch than you no i i know you're going to keep guessing until i just say it so I'm just going to say it. Okay, so he's given me massages before. And they're sort of like, you know, but I will say I'm sensitive. Wait, stop. Back up.

What is that mean? Like, I'm just sort of like, meh. You know? But I do. Like, my calves need a massage, but then my calves are very sensitive. And I'll be like, oh, ow, ow, ow, not that hard, not that hard. Oh, you're saying that it's too soft. It's too just like, they're just meh.

And they don't last very long. It's more like, yeah, and then sometimes it'll be too hard to just try to like, you know, go over with thus, you know, like, I don't know how to describe it other than it's just. You're not getting what you need. His love language isn't acts of massage. Right. However, this is the part where it's going to get a little weird. Okay.

Okay. However, his daughter came home the other day and she needed her back rubbed. And, I mean, there was like. the floor elbows like every i mean it looked like the most professional best massage i've ever seen and i'm like you're busted you're busted did you say that yes when i left i said now i know i know what you're capable of he's like now you know what i said i've seen what i needed to see i said i'm not going to be jealous because that's your daughter and that's weird that would be weird that would be really weird for me to be jealous of the massage that she just got however

now I know where you're capable of. So I'm not going to settle for any of this. And what was his response? He laughed. Like, ha, ha, ha,

ha, and I was like, I'm not kidding. I drove away. I was like, he thinks I'm joking. I'm not. Well,

okay. Well, at least you know he, yeah, it's actually better to know he's capable of that. You're like, because he's a strong guy. Yeah,

and it's actually sweet to watch and like care for her in that way. But I'm like, I need to be cared for. Like, I'm a, better. I need care for. I need to be cared for in that way. I need care. I need care for. I was going to say what we do is we just use like a theragon on each other. Okay. Because I will, I love to receive a massage, but I can't say I love to give them, you know? Like it does,

it makes my hands tired. And, you know, it's always when I'm, Patrick always wants to massage when I'm like trying to go to bed, you know. Yeah, I know. I just, my brain went off into this crazy thing. Like, I get the high. of like, you know, if he had to choose daughter or girlfriend, he's going to choose his daughter. Like, why are we even going there? Because the vibrate went there. Because I was thinking, like, maybe she gets the good massage. And then he's a lot of energy. Which, okay, it makes sense.

I get it. But now I know. It would be like if he's like this phenomenal cook for his kids. And then for me, he's like, Hamburger Helper. Thrown stuff together. Yeah. Hammer Helper is actually kind of good.

I know. but if he makes a from scratch meal. Right, right, right. And then he's like, I have this box. I'm going to just boil these noodles and stir this packet in. Throw it together. Okay. So, Alex, if you're listening.

Anyway, you're consistent. Thank you. Are you touch in the sense that, like, you need to be touching him all the time? No, but I don't mind holding hands in close. Like, I'm not extreme PDA person, but you know that one guy I dated. Which one? The one New York. Okay.

Okay. So, I mean, we were like brother and sister walking down the streets. And I'm like, this is weird to me. Like, just even like a pat on my back to let me know like, hey, glad you're to let me know I know you're here and I'm glad you're here. Like it could be stuff like that. Yeah, I said something. You have not like noticed me in public or anything. Like it's just weird to me because one-on-one, you're affectionate. But in the streets, nothing. And he was like, oh, I just am very much like... Or he didn't know if Leslie was going to be around.

He didn't want her to see it. No, I don't think that was the case. She was not in the picture. It was more so that he's just not a PDA person at all. And I was like, I don't consider holding hands or, you know, walking behind you through the door and, like, putting my hand on your lower back. You know that kind of thing?

So one of you think PDA? is like making out. Yeah, like I'm not full on trying to like straddle anybody somewhere. That's PDA is what I'm describing, but I'm not extreme PDA. Okay. So there's different, it's a spectrum, right? Yeah. What are you?

What do you mean? What level do you go to? Well, I don't want to like make out with somebody in public. No, me either. But I prefer to be touching my husband at all times in some way. Yeah, like hand on the leg. Yeah. Yeah. But he's that way as well.

So it's great. we've had that conversation of like would we be together of either of us because we're both so that way would we be able to be with somebody who wasn't like he told me one time we wouldn't be together if you weren't I'm like that would break it so that's his number one yeah he said that we probably wouldn't I don't know how much he was kidding but I asked him like do you think we'd still be together if one of us wasn't this affectionate towards the other and he said no wow because it's even like the way we sleep like we sleep like we sleep Very.

Cuttally? Yeah. Cute. Okay. You want to do the next one? Yes. The first one was consistency. The next one is attunement.

So that would look like being truly present, emotional closeness, exploring each other's inner worlds. What does that even mean? I think that would be like asking introspective questions and like wanting to like know each other deeper on a deeper level. Deep connection, feeling safe in each other's energy. A win is a win. A win is a win.

I don't care what I'm saying. Yep. That's me. Cliver Taylor the fourth. You might have seen the skits, the reactions, my journey from basketball to college football, or my career in sports media. Well, somewhere along the way, this platform became bigger than I ever imagined. And now I'm bringing all of that excitement to my brand new podcast, The Clifford Show.

This is a place for raw, unfiltered conversations with some of your favorite athletes, creators, and voices that not only deserve to be heard, but celebrated. One week, I'll take you behind the scenes of the biggest moments in sports and entertainment, and the next we'll talk about life. mental health, purpose, and even music. The Clifford Show isn't just a podcast. It's a space for honest conversations, stories that don't always get told, and for people who are chasing something bigger.

So if you've ever supported me or you're just chasing down a dream, this is right where you need to be. Listen to the Clifford show on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. And for more behind the scenes, follow at Clifford and at TikTok Podcast Network on TikTok. On a recent episode of the podcast, Money and Wealth with John Hope Bryant, I sit down with Tiffany the budgetista Aliche to talk about what it really takes to take control of your money. What would that look like in our families if everyone was able to pass on wealth to the people when they're no longer here?

We break down budgeting, financial discipline, and how to build real wealth, starting with the mindset shifts. Too many of us were never, ever taught. Financial education is not always a business. about like, I'm going to get rich. That's great. It's about creating an atmosphere for you to be able to take care of yourself and leave a strong financial legacy for your family. If you've ever felt you didn't get the memo on money,

this conversation is for you to hear more. Listen to Money and Wealth with John O'Brien from the Black Effect Network on the I'd Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi everyone, I'm Cheryl Strayd, author of Wild and Tiny Beautiful Things. I'm excited to share that I have a new podcast called Mind Over Mountain. In each episode, I interview athletes, adventurers, and adrenaline seekers to discuss the inner landscapes and life experiences that informed and inspired their extraordinary feats. I also bring a bit of advice into the mix so we too can better understand how to face our own

seemingly insurmountable challenges. Do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to pull out what you already have inside. We're coming into this world, fighting for our lives. All I'm going to do is pull out what you already got inside. We're there to support and celebrate each other. And that's not like your story versus my story. You're going to walk up and over that dang mountain.

You're not just going to put your mind over it. Yep, yep, exactly. And if I can't walk up and over it, I'm going to go through it. Listen to Mind Over Mountain every Thursday on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Attunement is necessary for, I think, a good, healthy relationship. But if someone really shines at that? Well, and I can tell you something that does bother me

is when you can tell somebody's not present with you. And you're trying. That, to me, kind of locks in with quality time. Because when I'm, like, having a meal or last night, we were walking, we're on a walk. And Patrick was playing with this baseball. And I could tell he was more interested in playing catch with himself than listening to my story.

And at one point I said, you got to get rid of the baseball. I didn't feel like he was like attuned to me. Dial-in. Yeah, it wasn't attuned. And that was our quality time. So I think those go hand-in-hand. Hand-in-hand. He kept the baseball. It's now at our house. Where did he get the baseball?

So across the street room, our neighborhood is a ballpark. Yeah. And there was a baseball on the sidewalk. And I was like, at first I was like, oh, Patrick, a baseball. You should pick it up. And then I was like, throw the baseball back to the children. He kept it. You regretted that.

Yeah. Okay. Next one is vulnerability, and that's just being open and honest, discussing deep thoughts, expressing wants and needs, let's guard down. Like you allow for that to, you just, again, being vulnerable because that's what it is. And then you take risks and sharing feelings about past, present, and future. Also necessary. Also necessary, yes.

The next one is for play. You wanted this one, didn't you? I just lucked out. Flirting and teasing, playful tension, increasing arousal, demonstrating desire, including all types physical, emotional, intellectual, experiential, and spiritual. What does intellectual foreplay look like? Honestly, I don't know. That to me, I'm like, is that like deep questions? Flash cards. Maybe I'm thinking that because I'm doing them with my son for math. Yeah, like flash cards, not the questions, not conversation cards.

I was making a joke that did not go. Do you want to explain it? I was thinking intellectual foreplay like, hey, you're going to do some division flashcards? Like, hey, you want to do multiplications? You're going to do the nines? The nines. Or like, do you want to do these? 9, 18, 27?

Say more. Keep going. Are you trying to arouse our mail? 9 times 9 is 81. Oh, my gosh. Gosh. How do you know that? We're doing the nines.

I think that. Yeah, you should know that. With my 15-year-old. It's also weird. Now this, everything's gotten weird, but do you get it?

Yeah. Foreplay. Physical, emotional, intellectual, experiential, and spiritual. So after foreplay, this would be the final one. Yeah.

Nurture. Taking care of each other. Holding, caressing, rubbing, gentle touch. Oh, so this is sort of like touch. Your massage.

nurture. I need to be nurtured. Soothing, consoling, creating a safe space, protecting, reassuring. So it can be physical, but it's also in like all different ways. But I need to be reassured that you can massage me with your elbow

on the floor. I mean, it was like full blown. I'm like, what did you do you, now I know you have a certificate from somewhere. He's watched some YouTube videos maybe. He's certified. He could stretch to like he knows how to stretch all the things, I guess from being an athlete way back in the day. And I told him I was

saying about going to the stretch lab. And he was like, I can do all of that. We'll prove it. Yeah. Take the time. What is the, you might have answered this already. So sorry. But sitting here right now, other than his steadiness, what's his most attractive quality? Right now in your relationship. Not when you first started dating or six months ago, but today, what do you find most attractive about him outside of his consistency? Well, gosh, I have lots of different things like rattling off in my head. But watching him be a dad is one of the best things ever. He's a really great dad.

I'm very comfortable around him. Like the ease that I have when I'm with him is just unmatched. Like, I'm very, very comfortable. I like how he is knowledgeable about lots of things. Do you give it this number three? Oh, how many was I supposed to get? I just said one. But as I said, I have lots of things that come to my mind.

Like, I like that he's wise and about, like, certain things that I, like, I don't care about sports, but I love that he knows all about sports. He can hold a conversation with anybody. Anybody. I think that's like guys. They literally could walk up to a stranger and be like, so the Red Sox game last night and like start talking about like what happened in the bottom of the third inning in all the people's names.

I don't, you know what I think men have just like, a. a separate part of their brain just for that. All of it. Yeah. And they have all the sports knowledge. Because that's how also a lot of men connect is talking about sports versus like women connect on a lot of times more deeper. When he connects with his boys.

But that's another thing too. Like I connect. I can connect with him on deeper things as well. And I can appreciate that. But I don't know what it is about the, the sports stuff. I think even though I'm not a sports girl, like I don't know. any of that stuff, I don't care about it, but I find it very attractive that he does. Because if he didn't, I'd be like, oh.

Like, if he didn't like sports? And I wonder if that's because the guys that I'm around, like, they say it's like weird. Red flag. If like a guy tries to talk about sports and he doesn't know what he's talking about, like that that's super embarrassing. What? You haven't ever heard that before?

No, I've heard of women who are like, if they don't like sports, that's a no for me. I personally don't feel that way. I do find it attractive how much Patrick loves the vault and just sports in general. Because what's attractive about it is him caring so deeply about things and like being just, I like seeing him excited. But I would feel uncomfortable if he was trying to show up as somebody that he's not. And that's why he like, right. If he's talking about and he doesn't know what he's talking about,

but he's trying to act. I would feel sad, I think. So I'm like, oh, you don't have to be that way. But I don't feel like that's like a ick if a guy doesn't like sports. I have heard people say, and I kind of agree, that like men talking about sports is their form of gossip because they're talking about other people, right? It's not like deep level stuff. And it's a way to connect just like other people do that with other people's lives or like women who talk about like reality TV or something like that. like it's gossip and like that's men's form of gossiping since you brought up gossip it made me go over to

this other article I pulled not even for today but I just went to it and it was talking about how gossip could be a good thing yeah agree or disagree because we've been taught to see gossip as toxic cruel and always a red flag but the truth is most gossip isn't destructive it's adaptive and the fear of gossip is quietly keeping a lot of people lonely because they don't feel like they can connect like it And it doesn't have to be a cruel or mean-spirited gossip session. Most of the time, it can just be a way humans are connecting and learning and bonding. And then it went on to list like the things that gossip can do for us. First of all, gossip can keep us safe because it spreads social information about who's trustworthy and who might harm us.

Gossip builds connection, sharing stories, even the lighthearted ones, creates intimacy and belonging. And then it reinforces values. Because when we talk about others' behavior, we'll also. defining what's acceptable in our community. So do you know where that came from? No. If you don't, it's okay because I didn't know if it came from this. I started listening to a book called You Didn't Hear This from Me.

It's by Kelsey McKinney. And she has a podcast called Normal Gossip. And it's all about what you said, how people think that gossip is this bad thing. But it's also something that helps connect people. And it's not all like we're talking. When you hear gossip, I think what people think is you're talking crap about. people. You're talking badly about people. You're in other people's business. But a lot of times it is like, yeah, a way to connect and a way to like process things with friends. And I think that must be where I

heard the stuff about sports because in the beginning, I think I only got like a couple chapters in. But in the beginning, she was talking about how historically people think gossip is for women and men don't gossip. But men do gossip. It just isn't seen as that. Yeah. And that's where like the sports comes in. So I went to click around to where I pulled that from and it was the surprising benefits of gossip, a study done at the University of Westminster. It's over the pond. This is from BBC. So it must be legit. Yeah. It's from over there. So yeah, go gossip. And this is an article from 2022. So very relevant. It's only a few years old. But that's relevant. Yeah. I'm just saying it wasn't anything that I pulled like from today. Oh. Or yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I had it somewhere separate. Like I have like different open documents on my computer. I mean, because on the Bobby Bone Show we have- Wait, you pulled that from 2022? It is from 2020 that I had in a doc saved to like talk about at some point on the Bobby Bone Show. But it was research from 22. Okay. I thought you just like have had that saved on your computer for- Since 2020. I'm like, you really wanted to talk about this. Yeah. We haven't gotten to it yet. I'm still waiting. You're like, please pick the article about gossip. One day we're going to talk about how gossip could be a good thing. Yeah.

It's not as bad as we think it is. But also gossip can be very toxic and destructive. You just have to do it in the right way. That's like anything. And I'm glad you clarified about the sports thing. I don't mind if a guy doesn't like sports. What I was saying was unattractive, which I know we touched on it, but I'm just going to reiterate since we have male listeners, is just that if they're not into it, but they try to fake

like they are. it's not attractive. Like you don't have to do that to fit in. And I'm sure there's things that like, I mean, I can speak for myself. There are things that I have done that I've been just trying to fit in that probably didn't come off. So women do that too. You're just saying that this is one way that men can do. But there's probably so much pressure for them to like do that, like to be a man.

Like I know more about what it's like to be a woman and the pressures to be a woman and what I feel like the world says I should care about. I don't know as much on the male side, and I'm assuming that this is part of it. It's like you should like these masculine things. Sports are masculine. You should know this, so you should be able to talk about this with people. Okay, approximately 14% of men are not a fan of sports at all. Not one sport. Mm-hmm.

Not a single sport. Can you just Google what are the top hobbies for men? See if AI hobbies? Hobbies. Okay. Ooh, woodworking in a number. number one. No way. Okay. Talk about an attractive hobby. What? A woodworker? Like a carpenter? Like Jesus? Is that hot? I'm more thinking like building things. He could build anything. He could build you a coffee. You could see

something online that you're like, I want this. This coffee table. He could just make it for you. Yeah. Do you ever like work a tool? Like a wood, a wood whittler? My boyfriend in college had a whittling machine in his garage and he would make. Carve things? Yeah. I think I'm thinking more of carpentry. Yeah. Like, hey, I want new kitchen cabinets. And he could just do it. And he's like, no problem, babe.

Yes. That is out there with a tool belt. Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Like chopping down a tree. Yeah. That's hot. Mountain biking?

That would give me anxiety. I don't know that I want my partner to do that. Okay. Gardening, hiking, video gaming, cooking, photography, scuba diving, brewing. Okay. This is just listing hobbies because I don't think scuba diving. is a top. That's probably a hobby, but I don't think that's in the top for men.

Okay. Let me move on to a different answer. Top hobbies for men are very diverse, it says. So what do you want me to do about it? Including sports and fitness. And in that, they put golf, hiking, and cycling. Then there's outdoor activities such as fishing, camping, hunting. Then there's creative and manual arts like woodworking, playing musical instruments, and gardening. Then there's social and intellectual pursuits like gaming, cooking, reading. learning new languages. Hobbies are excellent for physical health, mental clarity, self-expression, and building connection with others. Just to round out. I mean, does that, are those the hobbies you think men would be into?

Like, I guess I was thinking like hunting, fishing, fishing, hunting and fishing, hunting and fishing. Loving every day. Gaming is one that I'm grateful. My husband does not participate in. Yes, same. Same. My ex-husband, none of that. He didn't do that. And, my boyfriend now doesn't like I don't I've never dated a gamer well I did remember I called him gamer gamer gamer gamer boy one time I said what are you doing he said my friends are coming over play video games and I think I texted you and I was like I don't know what to do with this yeah he was having like a gaming party yes it was Saturday night which like not to shame anybody for their hobbies that's great I think that meant we weren't compatible right you know this is just

what we're like if I was having to do that on a Saturday night that's what we're doing I'm out. However, I don't love sports, but on a Saturday night, I do like going to somebody's house or to like a sports bar and watching football. Not that I'm watching it, but I love the community aspect of it. I'm going to my first UVA football game this weekend with the boyfriend and the kids, his kids. So he went there for college and I'm meeting all of his college friends too. Apparently every fall, they pick one game to all meet up at. And this is the one. Is UVA good? I should know that because I've been watching games with him the last several weeks.

What conference? I don't remember. I don't know. Who are? They're SECC. I don't think they're ACC. ACC. Who are they playing?

I don't know. But you know you're going. I am going. Okay. And I got a Navy blue. Is I going to say, did you get an outfit? Yes. I got a, it's like a Navy blueish button down and it has orange stripes.

They're orange and blue. It's cute. It's dawed. I don't know if you know that brand, but it's like not like my rule was, whatever I get it. You would buy an orange and navy shirt normally? The way it's styled, it's cute. And my rule was when I was shopping for something to wear because I knew I needed orange and navy colors. I was like, whatever I'm spending money on, I'm getting a type of shirt and a brand that I will wear a lot. Yeah. So it's like a little button down bodysuit thing. I think it's cute. A body, oh, I'm thinking like a jumper. But it, yeah, it snaps. Question, this is a big deal. Because you're meeting friends you haven't met before, right? Are you nervous? A win is a win.

A win is a win. I don't care what I'm saying. Yep, that's me, Clifford Taylor the 4th. You might have seen the skits, the reactions, my journey from basketball to college football, or my career in sports media. Well, somewhere along the way, this platform became bigger than I ever imagined. And now I'm bringing all of that excitement to my brand new podcast, The Clifford Show. This is a place for.

raw, unfiltered conversations with some of your favorite athletes, creators, and voices that not only deserve to be heard, but celebrated. One week, I'll take you behind the scenes of the biggest moments in sports and entertainment, and the next we'll talk about life, mental health, purpose, and even music. The Clifford Show isn't just a podcast, it's a space for honest conversations, stories that don't always get told, and for people who are chasing something bigger. So, if you've ever supported me, or you're just chasing down a dream, this is right what you need to be. Listen to the Clifford show on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. And for more behind the scenes, follow at Clifford and at TikTok

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most on the iHeart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast question this is a big deal because you're meeting friends you haven't met before right are you nervous or are you more excited what do you feeling why do you think I bought my stalled shirt I mean uh let's see I'm feeling well I'm excited I'm feeling included oh you know yeah because it's a special it's a thing he does with as kids and like I'm invited. I'm feeling yeah I mean that's pretty good excited and excited and included okay and I wouldn't say I'm nervous so do you know any of the friends have you met any of these friends because I know you've met some of his friends before I think one of the wives I guess I don't know exactly who was going to be there when I get there and I see their faces I'll report back

okay because it's like there's a lot of names and a lot of people because he's from Nashville so sometimes him it gets really tricky because he knows so many people from growing up here yeah and then just in his work and his dad still is like in business here and I just they know I feel like we run into people everywhere and then there's oh no I went to college with that guy I went to high school with that guy I went to junior high with that guy oh I live next door to him in elementary school and I'm like it'd be like if I lived in Austin it might feel that way for him if it was a little overwhelming because a lot of A&M people or UT people like there was just college. I mean, Austin's kind of exploded a lot. Nashville is much smaller. But you know what I mean? So sometimes with him when he's talking about people,

I'm like, I'm sorry, I'm really trying to keep up with who you're talking about. But, oh, there's just so many people. You're too popular. Yeah. When we first started dating, I was like, what are you mayor? Like everywhere we would go. It wouldn't be like we have to stop and have these full-blown conversations, but everybody would be like, Alex, what up? Like everywhere. Okay, but do you not feel like that's everywhere you go people. You might not know them, but I feel like people know you. No, like he knows them. So like you have to say like.

Or they're like, what up? And then he'll be like, oh yeah, that was my college roommates, dad's lawyer. Like, I mean, yeah, it's like everybody. He remembers everybody. That's, okay. I've told you my fear that like people don't remember who I am. So I am the opposite of, I grew up here. But when I go places, if I, well,

Honestly, the backwards happened. Did I tell you about the girl, the grocery store? I don't think so. So we've just moved to Franklin, which is where I grew up. We went to the grocery store that I went to growing up to get groceries. And I'm like, oh, who am I going to run into here? But, like, not really thinking I would run into people because, like, what are the odds? Like, I don't know who still lives in Franklin.

Which Franklin's, like, 25 minutes outside of Nashville. If people are listening and they don't know where that is. Yeah, so I didn't move far away. So we walk in and, like, within the first three minutes, this. girl does a double take on me. And then she goes, how are you? And I was so awkward because I'm like, is she being friendly or do I know her? And should I say something back or do I just like act cool and keep going? It was very awkward, very uncomfortable. And then Patrick thought, he goes, oh, was that one of those can't confirm or deny situations? Like it was a client. And I go, Patrick, I have no idea who that is.

but I think I should. So like the opposite is happening where like somebody recognizes me, but that's one of my biggest fears. So I'm sorry to whoever that was. If I know you, how are you doing? Well, I hope she wasn't one of your clients and you're like, I have no idea. She definitely wasn't one of my clients. But then I saw another girl that did know. But I don't like living in this. I like where I live. But my fear is that like I do run into somebody and I want to say hi. and they're like, who are you? Yeah. I can talk about this in my own therapy.

Yeah. Maybe you should. Maybe you should. Before we go, I want to talk about work burnout. I've got two different things to touch on with that. One of them is like a little short story that is from peak performance with Julia. And when I read her story of who she used to be and how she tries to show up now, or this example of this 38-year-old woman is who we're going to be talking about. I just hope that you can

reflect on being this person, because I know we probably have a lot of listeners that are this person, or you were this person, which is okay if you are, but you don't have to be. You don't have to be. And Kat and I want to give you a big hug and be like, let go, let loose, relax, calm down, chill out. My son used to say that all the time, those three things. Oh. Like if he, he, he, he, would be like, relax, calm down, chill out with his little Haitian accent. It was so cute. All right, I'm 38. I answer emails at red lights in the grocery store line and before bed, because being the responsive one has become my identity. At first, it felt good. People noticed. They called me reliable, dedicated, a team player. But underneath, it sounded more like, she'll always say yes, she'll pick

up the slack, she'll never push back. And over time, what felt like recognition started to feel like resentment because being responsive doesn't just mean answering fast. It means sacrificing yourself before anyone else even notices. I've interrupted dinners, canceled workouts, stayed up way too late, all to prove that I was on top of it. And the hardest part, no one even notices the cost. They just notice that you're always there. The truth? Responsiveness isn't respect and availability isn't value. High achieving women? What if being respected at work didn't mean being available 24-7? Protect your time, set boundaries that stick, create success on your terms. Boom.

Drop the mic. My favorite part of this is her saying it means that sacrificing yourself happens before anybody even notices. Like nobody notices that you're sacrificing yourself. They just notice that you're there. That feels important to recognize that like they're not seeing what you're having to say no to or point blank sacrifice. they're just seeing that you're available.

And people won't have the forethought a lot of times to recognize why you would be available. Yeah. And that's not even on there. That's not on them either, right? Like if you're always there for me and you don't share with me what you're missing out on, like I could just, it's fair to assume that you have nothing else going on. Right. Yeah.

And even yes people will you as a therapist, you probably know that sometimes there's a some sort of wound attached to people pleasing like I must show up all the time type behavior so it could be some inner work that could be done because I get that I'm saying this and like we're like oh you don't have to be this person but it's not as simple as like snapping the finger and being like chill out calm down relax it's not that simple because there was probably a threat if you were not always there what was the threat that like you'll be replaced or people will forget you or maybe there will be a punishment of some sort Well, and it's got to be exhausting to live that way.

So it's a perfect transition into burnout. And we're just going to run through quickly, like sneaky ways that burnout can appear at work. And so I'm just going to go through this checklist and you take inventory in your own life. But saying yes to everything at work is the number one thing. Answering emails at midnight, feeling guilty for taking a break. Everything feels annoying, rewriting the same to-do list three times. times working right after you wake up and then not being able to ask for help or not choosing to say, hey, I need help with this. And I get that some people are like, oh, yeah, right, okay, but I don't

have that luxury to not answer the email at midnight. Or I don't have that luxury. Like, I'm trying to keep up or I want this next promotion or this person's going to get ahead. And so that's got to be a difficult place to be in too. But those are just sneaky ways burnout can appear at work. So just make sure you take inventory of that so that you don't end up getting burnt out. Like, can this email wait? I caught myself getting on my phone first thing in the morning the other day. And I had to like throw my phone. It's like, no, I'm not going to take over me right now. This is my time.

And I'll deal with you when I get to work because it's really easy. And sometimes it's not even work stuff. I'll go on Instagram. And then I'm like, no, world. Yeah, you can get burnout from all kinds of things. But I think even that, yeah, it's easier said than done. And so when I have these kinds of conversations with people at work, clients of mine, I know it's easier and it might sometimes be annoying for me to point things out.

Like, well, this, this and this. If you change this, this, this and this, then this feeling or this might not be there, but like they feel trapped or like they can't. But I think it's helpful to realize that sometimes it is important to weigh. What's more important? This promotion or the enjoyment of my life overall. And like, yeah, this promotion might come with money. It might come with more financial freedom. It might come with certain things that we've told ourselves in our head that we want are important and we need. But would I even be able to enjoy them if my life feels like it's crumbling? If I'm irritable all the time, if I hate my job, like, is it worth it? And if the answer is yes, cool. But it's okay to ask that question and that might be no. And then I'm working

towards something. Why are you smiling? Because my brain, when you said worth it, this is where my brain. And is it worth it? Let me work it. I put a thing down with it and reverse it. Like that's instantly where my brain goes. And I'm like, you're trying to talk. As I said that, you just were like a little kid. If I made like some kind of, I said something, you were like had like a sex joke in your head. Right.

Right. But no, I just had Missy Elliott. Like you're like, you have to weigh. Is it worth it? And I'm like, let it work. Speaking of, you know, that girl that was the dancer. Missy Elliott's all her music videos growing up. I think her name was like Allison or Alyssa or something. Do you remember that? She's, this is a nothing burger that I'm about to give you guys.

But through my brain went is I keep seeing her all of her TikTok. She just came out with like a tell-all book. Ooh. About like what it was really like. In the industry? In the industry. Yeah. Okay. Thanks. Check it out. On that note. Check it out. All right. We love, love, love hearing from y'all, especially all you guys out there. Yeah, you hit us up. Men that like sports and some men that don't like sports. And women, all of you, we want to hear from you. So email us, hey there at feeling thingspodcast.com.

Or you can call us 877207-207. And if you want to hear from us, sign up for a newsletter. You could do that now by clicking the link in the show notes. Yeah, we have a link in the show notes to make it easy. And then, oh, well, I mean, and feeling things. Podcasts are social and it's where we are on YouTube too. You know, it's so crazy.

What? So when we started this podcast, we had this newsletter sign up. And a lot of people emailed us saying, I want to sign up for the newsletter. How do I do that? And so we told people to email us and we would send them to the link. Why did it take six months for us to realize that we could just put the link in the show notes? I don't know. And also-

Nobody thought of that. If y'all are wondering why we have not really, you know, kicked off the whole newsletter thing. Tell them, Kat. I'm just kidding. Whoa. I'm trying to blame it on you. It is? No, it's not.

Totally my fault. No, it's both of us. I was just kidding. We had differences in how we wanted to handle it. Yeah. And Cat won. And that's why you haven't got. So it is sort of on Kat.

We did have differences. But I do think that the way we're going to go about it is going to be great. But now there's something else holding us up. We're kicking it back. Yes, we're circling back to the newsletter because we're about to have a calendar and a schedule and we're going to have deadlines and then we're going to get burnout. And then we see, Katner just trying to avoid burnouts. We're like, oh, newsletter.

Gosh, no, it's something we really want to do and we look forward to adding it. We just had some behind the scenes. Hangups. Hangups and differences. But we're here. And it's going to be good. So make sure you sign up because you don't want to miss out. Because you never know we're going to drop in the newsletter.

We're keeping you guys on your toes. Behind the scenes stuff. It's made really good. Really good. Worth the weight. I mean, we talk about things like Missy Elliott's backup dancer from back in the day that's now. Just kidding. Okay, hope you have the day.

You need to have. Bye. Bye. A win is a win. A win is a win. I don't care what I'm saying. Yep, that's me. Clifford Taylor the Fourth.

You might have seen the skits. my basketball and college football journey or my career in sports media. Well now, I'm bringing all of that excitement to my brand new podcast, The Clifford Show. This is a place for raw, unfilled conversations with athletes, creators, and voices that not only deserve

to be heard, but celebrated. So let's get to it. Listen to The Clifford show on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. And for more behind the scenes, follow at Clifford and at TikTok Podcast Network on TikTok. Hey, I'm Dr. Maya Shunker, a cognitive scientist,

and hosts of the podcast a slight change of plans, a show about who we are and who we become when life makes other plans. I wish that I hadn't resisted for so long the need to change. We have to be willing to live with a kind of uncertainty that none of us likes. You can have opinions, you can have like a strong stance, and then there's your body having its own program.

Listen to a slight change of plans on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On a recent episode of the podcast, Money and Wealth with John Hobriant, I sit down with Tiffany the budgetista Aliche to talk about what it really takes to take control of your money. What would that look like in our families if everyone was able to pass on wealth to the people when they're no longer here? We break down budgeting, financial discipline,

and how to build real wealth, starting with the mindset shifts. Too many of us were never ever. If you've ever felt you didn't get the memo on money, this conversation is for you to hear more. Listen to Money and Wealth with John Hope Bryant from the Black Effect Network on the I'd Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.