The Bobby Bones Show - AMY: Why We Put Things Off, Trusting the Wait & The ADHD Paradox

Episode Date: February 20, 2025

FIRST THING: Ever put something off for way too long even though you know you want to do it? Amy breaks down why we do this to ourselves and how to stop. SECOND THING: The first thing is about something you WANT to do, but what about tackling things you NEED to do? Amy's got encouragement for you (and herself) so y'all can just "do the dang thing." THIRD THING: If you're in a season of waiting: just because you can’t see progress doesn’t mean nothing’s happening. FOURTH THING: Amy talks about the ADHD paradox (because wow, it explains SO much!!) HOST: Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. In 2023, Bachelor star Clayton Eckerd was accused of fathering twins. But the pregnancy appeared to be a hoax. You doctored this particular test twice, Ms. Owens, correct? I doctored the test ones. It took an army of internet detectives to uncover a disturbing pattern. Two more men who'd been through the same thing.

Greg Gillespie and Michael Mianini. My mind was blown. I'm Stephanie Young. this is Love Trapped. Laura, Scottsdale Police. As the season continues, Laura Owens finally faces consequences. Listen to Love Trapped podcast

on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. When a group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific con artist, they take matters into their own hands. I vowed, I will be his last target. He is not going to get away with this. He's going to get what he deserves.

We always say that trust your girlfriends. Listen to the girlfriends. Trust me, babe. On the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Ikew, I got you. And I'm I go on. My next guest, it's Will Farrell. My dad gave me the best advice ever.

He goes, just give it a shot. But if you ever reach a point where you're banging your head against the wall and it doesn't feel fun anymore, it's okay to quit. If you saw it written down, it would not be an inspiration. It would not be on a calendar of, you know, the cat. Just hang in there. Yeah, it would not be. Right, it wouldn't be that. There's a lot of luck.

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You're kicking it with four things With Amy Brown Happy Thursday for things Amy here And I've got an OG episode for you For totally different things Although I will say the first and the second thing are sort of related

Like the title of the first thing is why do we put things off That we really want to do And the second thing is just do the dang thing But they are different And when you hear the things you'll understand why. Third thing is the ADHD paradox. I found this very interesting when I saw it. And the fourth thing, encouragement for a season of waiting. Because waiting is hard. And if you happen to be in a season of

waiting, this will just give you that extra nudge that you need to be patient. All right, let's get started. All right, let's talk about why we put things off that we really want to do. Like, I want you to about something that you really wanted to do but you put it off or that you currently really want to do but you are putting it off at this exact moment, even though you know it's something that you're going to totally enjoy and you want to do it. I have done this many times. Now about a year and a half ago, I think it was, maybe even two years at this point. Time has been weird lately. I took an improv class and I absolutely loved it. I left it feeling energized and I was. I was a lot of, and I, I told myself that I would sign up for another session soon, so there are eight-week courses.

But guess what? I totally put it off and put it off and put it off. I originally signed up for improv after I had that teeny tiny role in the Christmas movie Holiday Harmony. My scene was in the bathroom. I'm not sure if y'all saw it. My kids thought that my bathroom scene was hilarious. My debut in a movie and I had my lines in a bathroom. but I loved the entire experience. So after that, I decided to take improv lessons and acting lessons to, you know, hone in on my skills. I obviously should have done that stuff before

I filmed the movie, but I was playing myself and it was sort of a last minute thing that I got invited to do. And I was like, I don't have time to take any lessons. I'm just going to go for it. And I had no idea how much I was going to love the whole thing. So then I decided I would like to pursue more of these opportunities. So I'm going to do the acting lessons. I'm going to do the improv. And I did all that and then just stopped. Stopped going, didn't pursue anything.

And I really think it boiled down to that I feared the rejection. And I don't know why we do this to ourselves because I know better than that. I have heard from others. I've even shared on this podcast. I know that we have to just go for things. We can't fear the failure. Because even from the failure, obstacle is the way. We will learn from it.

We will grow from it. We have the question that Donald Miller gave us. What does this make possible? So I know all the things. So why was I putting it off? Like, why did I quit? And then why did I just ignore it, even though I've had it on my list for sure the last six to eight months, sign up for another improv class, sign up for another improv class.

Like when we know we want something and then fear creeps in, it's the worst when the fear wins and that's what happened to me. I feel like we easily convince ourselves that we don't really want it because that's easier than failing. And it's sort of what I started to tell myself. I'm like, well, I guess it's not something that I really wanted because if I wanted it, I would be signing up for it. Or we tell ourselves that we're going to wait for the perfect time. Then the perfect time never comes. And we think about doing it so much that we exhaust ourselves before we, even get started and that's exactly what happened to me. However, I had a turning point today.

I finally signed back up for the improv classes. Like before I hit record, I made myself go to the website. I signed up. I'm going to be taking classes starting in March. It'll be for eight weeks every Tuesday night, 630 to 9.30. I'm sure I'll run into some issues there, but I'm going to have to navigate around it. This is something that's important to me. So for the next eight weeks, that's where I'm going to be on Tuesday nights. You can't miss more than two or you have to start over. And I did level one a while back and I got to do level one again because so much time has passed, I would feel ridiculous going into level two. So I'm going to start level one. I'm going to see how it goes. And then if I still love it, I'm going to roll in to level two. But I'm proud of myself for

finally signing up for the class. And I hope that that will encourage any of you right now. If there's something you've been putting off, maybe even pause this right now and go look up what it is you need to do. Go to the website. Can you sign up for it? Do you need to look at your calendar? What is it you need to do? Like if you've been putting off something, ask yourself why you're putting it off. Is it fear? Is it perfectionism? Is it lack of time? Whatever it is, acknowledge why you're putting it off and figure out a way to make it work. When we do that, it will help get us out of the what if cycle, which is what I need to get out of. I will just know and I owe it to myself to give it a try. And so do you. Right. So why is it so hard to do the thing we know we need to do?

This is different from the first thing because in the first thing, we're putting off something that we want to do. This is something that we need to do. And we put it off. Why do we do that? Whether it's a difficult conversation, maybe sending a hard note or email or making a tough decision, I will put that off. And then it just causes more trouble for me. I tend to get stuck in thought overload.

I know this about myself. My therapist gave me that term thought overload because I have so many thoughts at once and it paralyzes me. I was talking to my boyfriend about it the other day and he could not relate to me, not one single bit. He was like, I don't really know how to help you through this because I have one thought at a time, one task at a time. I finish that thought or that task and then I move on to the next. I cannot imagine what that must feel like. Must be amazing. For me, I sat down to try to figure what I'm doing when I'm procrastinating a hard task. And it boiled down to that I'm overthinking

every possible outcome. I don't want to deal with feel. uncomfortable. I don't want to deal with the discomfort that that moment will cause me. And I somehow convinced myself that avoiding it will somehow make it easier later when I know with 100% certainty that it does not make it easier later. I've shared the Buffalo versus cow analogy before. You know how Buffalo will run into the storm while cows turn away from it, ultimately staying in the storm longer. I've shared that multiple times. I even have this gold buffalo that my sister gave me as a reminder. When I see the buffalo, I'm like, be the buffalo. Don't be the cow. Sometimes it's easier to be the buffalo. And then sometimes I know I'm just being the cow. But I have that thought

overload and I just get paralyzed. Like I don't take any action. When I know that taking action and doing it well, that's another thing I get caught up on. If I'm being honest right now, I think about, oh, I want this to be warded so perfectly. And I want to do it well. And I want it to be thoughtful and I want it to be kind and I want to make sure I'm staying on my side of the street. This is an example of some conversations like even in co-parenting with Ben like I'll be drafting a text message or an email with him or to him and I'll delete it like 50 times because I don't want to be taken the wrong way and I'm like, okay, I'll just make this a phone call because I feel like if you were to read this on text or email, it's going to come across the wrong way.

But then we like having things in email or text message because then we can go back to it in case there's any misunderstanding or miscommunication. It's good to have it and write. So there's that whole thing. Like that's an example. But it could be a work-related thing that you need to tackle or something personal. But we got to be the Buffalo. The Band-Aid theory also is another good analogy. I feel like right now I need to go to my bathroom and get a Band-Aid out and put it on my skin and practice just ripping it off because that's what I need to do. I have something that I'm putting off and I just need to look at it and rip it off because I know I'm going to feel the sting, but then I'm going to be able to move on. Because we all.

all know if we've had a band-aid on and we start to peel it off slowly and makes the pain lasts longer. So why not just rip the band-aid off if we need to just do the dang thing? We don't need to prolong the discomfort. Let's just handle it. Here are some ways that we can just do the dang thing. Maybe we give ourselves a five-minute rule. Like we tell ourselves, I only have to think about this for five minutes and then I'm doing it. Maybe I stop rehearsing. We're worst case scenario. That's another tip. Like our brains will make up so many stories that probably will not happen. And we just need to stop ourselves from doing that. Easier said than done, I know. And then another thing we can do is treat it like a muscle. And the more we start to tackle

things head on, the more we are the buffalo, the more we rip the band-aid, the easier it gets to continue to be that. And I will say that I've had that experience before, like when I've been the Buffalo and I've done things head on. Yes, I get into that groove and it feels good. But sometimes I feel like I'm two steps forward, two steps back. And then I have to pep talk myself again. So that's what this is for you. If you've been putting something off that needs to be done, do the dang thing. The relief that we will feel after we do it is going to be totally worth it. In 2023, former bachelor star Clayton Eckerd found himself at the center of a paternity scandal. The family court hearings that followed revealed glaring inconsistencies in her story.

This began a years-long court battle to prove the truth. You doctored this particular test twice in so much. I doctored the test ones. It took an army of internet detectives to crack the case. I wanted people to be able to see what their tax dollars were being used for. Some lights the greatest disinfected. They would uncover a disturbing pattern. Two more men who'd been through the same thing. Greg, a lesbian, Michael Marantini. My mind was blown.

I'm Stephanie Young. This is Love Trap. Laura, Scottsdale Police. As the season continues, Laura Owens finally faces consequences. Ladies and gentlemen, breaking news at Maricopa County as Laura Owens has been indicted on fraud charges. This isn't over until justice has served and airs

Listen to Love Trapped Podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. There's two golden rules that any man should live by. Rule one, never mess with a country girl. You play stupid games, you get stupid prizes. And rule two, never mess with her friends either. We always say that trust your girlfriends. I'm Anna Sinfield. And in this new season of The Girlfriends, oh my God, this is.

the same man. A group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific con artist. I felt like I got hit by a truck. I thought, how could this happen to me? The cops didn't seem to care. So they take matters into their own hands.

I said, oh hell no. I vowed. I will be his last target. He's going to get what he deserves. Listen to the girlfriends. Trust me, babe. On the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Everyone, I'm Ago Wadam. My next guest, you know from Step Brothers Anchorman, Saturday Night Live, and the Big Money Players Network. It's Will Ferrell. Woo, woo, woo, woo. My dad gave me the best advice ever. I went and had lunch with them one day, and I was like, and dad, I think I want to really give this a shot.

I don't know what that means, but I just know the groundlings. I'm working my way up through, and I know it's a place that come look for up-and-coming talent. He said, if it was based solely on talent, wouldn't worry about you, which is really sweet. Yeah. He goes, but there's so much luck involved. And he's like, just give it a shot. He goes, but if you ever reach a point where you're banging your head against the wall

and it doesn't feel fun anymore, it's okay to quit. If you saw it written down, it would not be an inspiration. It would not be on a calendar of, you know, the cat. Just hang in there. Yeah, it would not be. Right, it wouldn't be that. There's a lot of luck. Yeah.

Listen to Thanks Dad on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Sometimes I need encouragement in the waiting. We all go through seasons of waiting and it can be really difficult. This came about because I got an email from a listener asking me about this and then I have my own thing that I'm also waiting on. Sometimes I share the emails, but when something is super personal, I will reply back to the person, just make sure, hey, is it okay if I read. read this, say your name, or I can leave you anonymous and still read it. And she just shared some very personal things where she was like, oh, I'd rather you not say anything about the email. But that's what brought up my desire to make this a thing and talk about it and also helped

me find comfort in my own season of waiting that I'm in right now. And my patience and how my patience is being tested. And my patience has been tested multiple times in life. Just like I'm sure the same is for you, but the waiting doesn't get any easier. Sometimes waiting is just hard, period, whether it's waiting for an answer to something, we're waiting for a breakthrough, or we just want clarity on something. It's tough to feel like nothing is happening. But even when nothing's happening, something is happening. Like it's not wasted time. And so as I was thinking through what I was going to reply to the listener that was asking me about this and even, you know, through my own journaling, I'm just going to share with you some things that God is doing while we are

in a season of waiting. And I know this first thing I'm going to share has been very, very helpful for me to just keep in my back pocket and say anytime that I need it. Like sometimes delays are for our own good and we're being protected from something that we cannot see, even when we don't understand it. So that's one thing God could be doing. He could also be preparing something bigger for us than we could ever even ask for. He could be strengthening our patience, which is literally what is happening to me at this moment. I am worried about something that I don't need to be worried about. I can wait to worry. I'm creating scenarios that don't need to be created during my season of waiting, when I just need to be still. And for me, because faith is an important part of my life,

I need to make sure that my faith is in check. It's in the right spot. Like I'm not just making sure that a result happens. I have to surrender. And maybe I won't ever get clarity on certain things. And I need to have peace either way. And I need to trust that there's a process, something bigger is happening. And sometimes waiting has nothing to do with me. Not one single bit. God might be aligning things in other people's lives before it's time for something to happen in my own.

There's nothing to do with me. It has nothing to do with you. And I just wanted to remind you and myself that in the waiting, God is still working. the season is not wasted. And for me personally, I'm really trying to focus on trusting that what's ahead is even better than what I could dream up at this very moment. So if you're in a season of waiting, like me and like the listener that emailed, you're not alone. I'm just sharing with you all some of the thoughts that I replied to them and that I journaled

through myself. Trust the process. Trust his timing and know that even in the silence, things are happening. All right. Have you heard of the ADHD paradox? I saw this post on Instagram from an account. It's Molly's underscore ADHD underscore mayhem.

And it really resonated with me. She was talking about how ADHD creates contradictions in our behavior. And if we have ADHD, you'll probably find this very relatable. Here's what she put up. The ADHD paradox, feeling very confident versus feeling very self-conscious. I want to do everything versus I don't want to do anything. I can't focus versus I can't stop focusing. I want a routine versus it's impossible for me to stick to one. I have so much energy versus I am completely burnt out. Now if you don't have ADHD, then you don't really know what

it's like to have your brain constantly pulling you into opposite directions. And this gives an example of what it can be like and it's not that we don't care or we're not trying it's just that our brains operate on a different rhythm like imagine driving a car with only two speeds parked or full throttle like sometimes there is just no in between and that's often how ADHD can feel it's all or nothing and for me what's helpful is i have to identify which mode i'm in am i in my burnout mode or i'm in my hyperfocus i'm about to get stuff done mode and then i have to adjust my expectations accordingly. Because if I know that it's a low energy day, I cannot force high energy tasks. And I try to pay attention to my body because that's how I'm going to survive, especially as I'm unmedicated.

I also use opposite strategies. Like if I can't focus, I'll go move my body. Like I'll jump on my rebounder. If I'm overstimulated, I will do a five-minute meditation. Because sometimes Sometimes you don't really have a choice in what you need to get done. I do try to listen to my body when I can, but there are times when it's like, well, okay, I get that I can't focus right now, but also I have a deadline for something. So I have to use opposite strategies to come in and help me out. So if you have ADHD, you're not alone in this paradox instead of fighting it. We have to really just learn how to recognize our patterns. That's been very, very helpful for me. in my unmedicated season of life, which now it's officially been, I feel like I started over Christmas break. I was thinking it was at the new year, but it was a little bit before the first of the year. So I'm probably coming up on two months, no meds, and really implementing some of these strategies, which you want more exercises and things you can do for yourself if you go to YouTube and put in brain gym exercises for ADHD,

a lot of things will come up that are helpful for adults to do and kids. So if you have a child that has ADHD, you can look up some of these exercises and start doing them with them at home. They're just like easy things. Like if they're home from school, maybe they're having a burnout day or they can't focus, try some of these exercises. Or if you'll both have ADHD,

then you get to do the exercises together as a family. So I hope that that's helpful because the extremes can feel pretty crazy. It can feel very, very high and then very, very low at times, which can be confusing and confusing for those around you if they don't really understand the ADHD paradox. So I hope that this is helpful for someone. I'm not an expert, but I'm thankful for all the accounts that I follow and the people in my life and my therapist and people that have helped me. as I navigate some of this. All right. Hope y'all are having the day

that you need to have, and I will see you on Saturday for Outwey and then on Tuesday for the fifth thing with Kat. Bye. In 2023, Bachelor star Clayton Eckerd was accused of fathering twins, but the pregnancy appeared to be a hoax. You doctored this particular test twice, Ms. Ellen, correct?

I doctored the test ones. It took an army of internet detectives to uncover a disturbing pattern. Two more men who'd been through the same thing. Greg Gillespie and Michael Marantini. My mind was blown. I'm Stephanie Young. This is Love Trapped.

Laura, Scottsdale Police. As the season continues, Laura Owens finally faces consequences. Listen to Love Trapped podcast on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. When a group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific con artist, they take matters into their own hands. I vowed. I will be his last target. He is not going to get away with this. He's going to get what he deserves. We always say that trust your girlfriends.

Listen to the girlfriends. Trust me, babe. On the IHartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What's up, everyone? I'm Ego Wood. My next guest, it's Will Ferrell. My dad gave me the best advice ever. He goes, just give it a shot.

But if you ever reach a point where you're banging your head against the wall and it doesn't feel fun anymore, it's okay to quit. If you saw it written down, it would not be an inspiration. It would not be on a calendar of, you know, the cat. Just hang in there. Yeah, it would not be. Right, it wouldn't be that. There's a lot of luck. Listen to Thanks Dad on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed human.