The Bobby Bones Show - Best Bits with Amy: Amy Details First Christmas Without Her Kids & Morgan Shares Why She’s Wearing Red Nail Polish On Dates

Episode Date: January 20, 2024

 It’s Best Bits time! Amy shares what her first Christmas was like without her kids, plus how they spent their New Years holiday together. Morgan has a big question about dating and reveals the reason she’s been wearing red nail polish on dates. And they both share how they spent their Nashville snow days.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human. Hey there, folks. Amy Robach and T.J. Holmes here. And we know there is a lot of news coming at you these days from the war with Iran to the ongoing Epstein fallout, government shutdowns, high-profile trials. And what the hell is that Blake lively thing about anyway? We are on it every day, all day. Follow us, Amy and T.J. for news updates throughout the day. Listen to Amy and T.J. on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever.

you listen to podcasts. Hey, I'm Dr. Maya Shunker, a cognitive scientist and hosts of the podcast, a slight change of plans, a show about who we are and who we become when life makes other plans. I wish that I hadn't resisted for so long the need to change. We have to be willing to live with a kind of uncertainty that none of us likes. You can have opinions. You can have like a strong stance. And then there's your body having its own program.

Listen to a slight change of plans on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On a recent episode of the podcast Money and Wealth with John Ho'Brien, I sit down with Tiffany the budgetista Aliche to talk about what it really takes to take control of your money. What would that look like in our families if everyone was able to pass on wealth to the people when they're no longer here? We break down budgeting, financial discipline, and how to build real wealth, starting with the mindset shifts. Too many of us were never, ever taught. If you've ever felt you didn't get the memo on money, this conversation is for you to hear more. Listen to Money and Wealth with John Hope Bryant from the Black Effect Network on the I'd Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. The Best Bits of the Week with Morgan.

Part 1. Behind the scenes with a member of the show. What's up, everybody? It's another weekend, and that means it's time for Best Bits. And I am joined by the lovely Amy this weekend. Amy, how are you? Happy to be here. Yeah.

Are we excited to talk about some holiday? Because that's what we got to talk about. Oh, like the holiday we had. Yeah, we got to hear about yours. So I want to share the best bits real quick. So we did have a spill-the-tee, lunchbox, stole something, kind of a huge deal. The show all admitted their most embarrassing moments of all time. Amy, quote, unquote, snapped at her kids because, you know, it's a version of that, but not really what you're thinking snapped.

Well, I mean, I definitely snapped, but not like full-blown TV show snapped. Yeah, that's what I want to make sure we're not alluding to. Right. Abby shared an update on her boyfriend. She gave the full story. Eddie shared what's going to happen with his son going to see the Drake concert with some friends. Lunchbox has a grudge situation going on with his garbage man. And we did some blind karaoke Taylor Swift edition.

So lots of good bits up. If you want to catch up on this show, make sure you check out part two. Amy, let's talk. Not like the holiday, the movie, because I do love that movie. But your holiday, this is like the first Christmas you had without your kids. So how was it? Yeah, it was, you know, I guess I was nervous leading up to it because I didn't know how I would feel. I think I had more emotions about it two weeks before it ever was even there.

And then when it got there, I was okay. I mean, I had friends and hung out with people here in Nashville. I didn't have to travel. I thought about our Thanksgiving trip and how special and amazing that was. And I had that with them. And then I got them the day after Christmas because they flew back from Colorado that day and then spent the week with me. And so it was great.

And I know that next Christmas I'll be with them. I just, you know, you're getting used to the new normal. and they did well. So that's all I could ask for. Do you feel like you experience kind of a lot of different emotions or were you pretty like steady over the course of it all? Because you kind of like you said two weeks in advance, you're like, okay, preparing for this to come.

I think it was leading up to it. The two weeks in advance, I hadn't really done any Christmas decorating at my house because I thought, well, it's going to be just me. The kids aren't here. I mean, what's the point? and I was driving down the road and I was with a friend and we passed a Christmas tree, you know, little setup with wreaths and trees. And I just start crying. And I realized that my tears were because I love putting wreaths on the outside of my house with red bows on all the windows.

Yes, classic. And there's some windows that are upstairs. And I thought, well, how am I going to get the, like this is, you know, Ben would do all that stuff. And then I had gone by Ben's house and his house was decorated for Christmas and he even hung lights and I just, you know, I think my brain went back to that and I'm like, well, he has that and I don't know what I'm doing. And then I let myself feel the feelings and cried and whatever I needed to do. And then I put my butt in gear and I decorated my house. Put a tree up, put the stockings up. You know, even though the kids weren't there Christmas morning to have stockings, I decided to do stockings with them when they were turned. Love that. You guys had your own version of Christmas. Right. Which Ben and I, we still split Christmas with the kids, the gifts. So everything they received was from me and Ben together. It was from mom and dad. And then we split the cost and then we split the credit. Because I think for us, I know not every couple or former couple would be able to do that or that would make sense. Obviously,

if another partner comes into the mix, that's probably going to die. But I think for us, that's something that we can do for the kids that for them, it's like, oh, my mom and dad got me this. There's still a team. Just another way to show that. And then there's no action. It's not a competition in any way, shape, or form. Yeah.

Not like, mom got me this and dad got me that. Right. It's this constant back and forth. Yeah. We went on it together. And so they, and then Ben took everything to Colorado and they got their stuff Christmas morning. But Ben made sure like, hey, this is from mom too. but I decided to do stockings when they got back, which was nice.

But the two weeks before, after my meltdown, I decorated and I felt so much better. And then I think that having all of that stuff up did help me feel more normal and did give me a little more peace and joy. And I was thankful for that meltdown when I passed the Christmas tree place because that's what triggered the emotional response. But it also made me aware, like, this is why I'm crying and this is going to be my fit. Like this is how I'm going to remedy this situation. It was almost like you had to have your last moment of all of those feelings to experience the light that's now coming. Right. Like the darkness is over.

Here's what's coming. And this is what's to look forward to. Right. So I offer that as encouragement to anybody. And then pay attention to your meltdowns and what triggered it because then it may give you a solution to something. Well, and I'm glad you decorated for Christmas because here's the thing. And I'll talk about it a little bit more in our listener Q&A, but like I've, I've, I'm so focused on romanticizing my life now.

Like, that's really my goal. And I'm, because I'm so tired of just, like, the monotony of every day and being like, well, you know, and then I, there's always a chance I could die tomorrow and, like, well, that was a really monotonous day and that was really dumb of me because this is how I ended it. So instead, it's focusing on, like, all the little tiny things that you do every day that can still be really beautiful, even though there's something you have to do every single day. And so I think for you, like a perspective for me is that, like, You took a step there in romanticizing your own life and being like, I'm going to decorate my house for me for this time in my life.

And it's still going to be pretty and it's still going to be beautiful amidst all the chaos. And I'm going to enjoy it. And you probably sat there loved having your tree up and watching movies. I bet that was also fun. Yes. I mean, I have my lights on. The first thing I would do when I would wake up would go over to the tree, turn the lights on, built fires, built fires, watched Christmas movies. So it was special.

Okay. And then they came back so you got to spend New Year's. with them. Is that right? Yeah. We were together on New Year's. My daughter actually went to spend the night with a friend, but then Stevenson, my son, he had a friend over. And we decided to do a New Year's cold plunge. So, okay, like jumping in your pool. It's freezing cold. And so some of my friends that were over and then even the kids, so three minutes before midnight got in because we do three minute cold plunges. Oh my gosh. Yeah. So we got in the cold plunge when it was 2023 and then we emerged at midnight so we got out of the cold plunge in 24.

Okay, so how was that? Like, was that a wild experience? I feel like I'd be freezing for three minutes. Well, I've been building up. I mean, I've been doing it. So it's still miserable and I've never done it at midnight. So I think it's obviously colder when the sun's not out and stuff. But it's cool.

And you had, we all did it together. So it was a fun, like we were giggling, laughing. Yeah. And you know what? there could be like some superstition thing with that. Like you're cleansing off the old year beginning of the new year. There's so many superstitions of like doing something like going into 2024. So this could just be a new one for you all.

A metaphor of like, yeah. You're emerging a new person. Yes. Okay, cool. Well, before we talk about some other things, is there anything else you want to share from like your holiday? Did you do anything else? Super exciting. Fun that you want to talk about.

I mean, you tried to, speaking of, you know, doing things I don't normally do or trying to get out more. I went to a Preds game. I went to a Titans game. So you were in your sports girl era? Yeah. Well, I was just in my, if I'm invited to do something, I'm going to go, era. I'm proud of you. I don't have to get.

Yeah. And I think I would more than be like, I'm good. You know, thank you. But I decided to go and it was fun. I did a lot of my out to eat era, just trying new places. Have you gone out at all? Like out out out? Yeah, like out out.

Like going to have drinks. or kind of out-out, out. Okay. I mean, sure, with a friend. Because going out is different, but, like, I mean, like, going out. Like, you're intentionally going out to have drinks at a bar later on in the evening. Of maybe. Maybe talking to people, hanging out and mingling.

I have not done that yet. Okay. Yeah. But I think you and I talked about doing that. Yes, we are. It's Amy and I's goal to go check out some happy hours, some little boogie happy hours. Out-out. Out-out.

That's what we're going to call it now. Like, 4.30 p.m. Yes, 5 p.m. an out-out because you're right it has the intention of mingling and there's a purpose behind it versus just like going out yeah i don't know if that makes it we're going to have to it does i think that there is a difference in the outs there's all kinds of ways to go out yep that's true that's we're going to hold each other accountable to just put ourselves in situations or that sounds bad but circumstances like that we normally i avoid like i don't want to go out out like that but

I think if I want to be social and make memories and meet new people, that's what I got to do. Then we're going to do it together. So you don't have to do it by yourself. All right. We're going to come right back after this quick break and talk about some ladies' nights, what you do with the snow days and stuff too. On a recent episode of the podcast Money and Wealth with John Ho'Brien, I sit down with Tiffany

the budgetista Aliche to talk about what it really takes to take control of your money. What would that look like in our families if everyone would. was able to pass on wealth to the people when they're no longer here. We break down budgeting, financial discipline, and how to build real wealth, starting with the mindset shifts. Too many of us were never, ever taught. Financial education is not always about, like, I'm going to get rich. That's great.

It's about creating an atmosphere for you to be able to take care of yourself and leave a strong financial legacy for your family. If you've ever felt you didn't get the member, on money, this conversation is for you to hear more. Listen to Money and Wealth with John O'Brien from the Black Effect Network on the I'd Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. American Soccer is about to explode. The World Cup is coming.

Ramers sending on to Ernie Stewart the Chip. I'm Tab Ramos. I'm Tom Boe. On our podcast, Inside American Soccer, you'll get the real storylines. I'm not worried about Policicic, I'm not worried about Balagan, I'm not worried about McKinney. My only concern is what happens in the back. The biggest decisions. If you're going to look at stats and numbers, he has no shot at making this World Cup team.

And the truth about the U.S. national team. It wouldn't be a huge surprise if our team ends up in the quarterfinals or potentially a great run into the semifinals. The World Cup is almost here. Experience it all with us. Listen, Inside American Soccer with Tom Bogart and Tab Ramos on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, wherever you get your podcast. Hey, Ernest, what's up? Look, money is something we all deal with, but financial literacy is what helps turn income into real wealth.

On each episode of the podcast, Earn Your Leisure, we break down the conversations you need to understand money, investing, and entrepreneurship. From stocks and real estate to credit, business, and generational wealth, we translate complex financial topics into real conversations everyone can understand. Because the truth is, most people will never taught

how money really works. But once you understand the system, you can start to build within it. That means ownership, smarter investing, and creating opportunities not just for yourself, but for the next generation.

If you want to learn how to build wealth, understand the markets, and think like an owner, earn your leisure is the podcast for you. Listen to earn your leisure on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. All right, so how do you spend like cold weather? Some people are cold weather people. Some are like,

I don't want to step foot outside. How did you spend our snow days in Nashville? I like being outside. I don't mind the cold at all. If you bundle up properly, it can be good. So I think it's a combo of movies and hiking. Like I went and hiking. Oh, you were like walking in the snow. Yeah, but on the snow boots and my coat, my gloves and my beanie. And I took a hike and it was so beautiful. Like I noticed things I hike. that lake often. And in the snow, I noticed things that I'd never seen before. And it was really peaceful. I think we talked about on the show, someone had a story about maybe it was Ray, I don't know, snow slowing everybody down. Because it's quieter. Quiet. Yeah. And so I experienced that. And it was really cool. I was hiking and then came up to this one spot where someone had drawn a heart in the snow.

and it reminded me that a couple of years ago my therapist had me looking for hearts. She was like, look for hearts. You're going to see them everywhere in leaves, rocks, on trees, in the snow. And so I took a picture of it to just, it's the little things that just make you smile. And you could have intention about looking for anything. But she was just having me look for hearts because it was something I could focus on. This was in a more difficult time, but it did make me smile when I stumbled upon the heart that someone had put there. And I thought, oh, how cool. Thank you. Whoever put that in the snow earlier

today. So I did a little bit of outside and then lots of movies, like lots. By the fire, I made soup. Oh, what kind of soup did you make? It's from half-baked harvest. Okay, I love her. She's great. And it's called like creamy white chicken chili or cream like that. Yeah. Something like that. Okay, I love this. Now with the heart thing, was there an intention behind that to kind of show that there's love everywhere or was it more just to give you something else to focus on? Yeah, no, I think we just picked our hearts because I don't know. Because that's also a good reason. Like it's to show you that like, even if you're not feeling a lot of love in this moment, if you see hearts everywhere, there's love everywhere. I don't know that it was related to love at all. I think it just happened to be,

maybe it was an exercise she gave me. I can't really remember. But it could have been an exercise for being present. Okay. Because like wherever you are, looking for. in being intentional about looking around you and stuff. Okay, that's cool. I really like that. You know, I spent the snow day back to romanticizing my life. Like, I woke up like I was a little kid on Christmas. And I was like, I'm going to go in the snow.

I got all bundled. I bundled Remy up. Like, she had her little booties on. And we just went and froliced in the snow, like making snow angels together, hanging out. And then I walked inside. We all cooled off. And then I made chocolate chip pancakes.

And I watched the holiday still snuggled up to my Christmas tree. that is still up. And then I went and walked in the neighborhood with some of my neighbors. And we went and played board games. And it was like the best day ever. I felt like a little kid again. Yeah, it's fun. Just getting to do whatever I wanted and it wasn't a big deal.

Like, luckily we had that as a holiday from work too, like, which was a bonus because then I didn't actually have to do much work from home. I actually got to enjoy like the day off. And it was like, I was a little kid. I like the snow day genuinely was like my school day got canceled and I'm going to go play in the snow. And that was like my snow day. I know. I saw your pictures and videos and they were very cute and fun. Like just that. Childlike. And that's again, back to romanticizing my life. It's also a pro tip. And this can be helpful for you too as you like kind of move through this next season of your

life. Like I was really worried about being alone on the snow day because everybody gets snowed in. I live by myself. And I'm like, great. I'm here. I don't get to go anywhere. I don't get to do anything. but I have recently started making friends with some of my new neighbors. And I'm like, I'm just going to start making friends with people who even if I don't hang out with them all the time, there's always this option that we can rely on each other in hard situations or when there's a snow day and we want to do something and not be by ourselves. So try and make friends with your neighbors when you can. Like, doesn't matter the age.

It doesn't matter. Like I talk to all my neighbors now and trying to be aware that we're all kind of in the same situation together, especially when weather stuff. happens, you know? Yeah, no, I think that's wise advice. I think that there's places I've lived where I haven't known my neighbors at all. But when I think back to my childhood in the neighborhood we grew up in, I'm still friends with people to this day because my mom was friends with our neighbors. Isn't that crazy? But it was, you know, maybe it was a unique neighborhood. I don't want to say it was a different time. No, I do feel like it was a little bit different, though. It was. I mean, and we did

live in the same neighborhood until I was 18, so that's a long time. time, but there's so many of us, like, and it's not like we talk every day, but there are 100% people I could call on for anything at any given moment, night or day, and they would answer because our parents were friends growing up in our neighborhood. And that's how strong the bond was. And I think it's so important for community, too, because, like, you talk about community, And yes, you're supposed to have this community of your friends and your family. But, like, that's community is, like, talking to your neighbors and spending time with your neighbors.

That's literally, genuinely the purpose of communities, the people around you that you live in, and that you can rely on. And you can lean on and you can call to if something's going on. Like, if you hear things in the neighborhood, you can text them right away. Or literally the other day I needed powder sugar. And I was like, hey, do you have any, like, nowhere in my mind did I ever think that I would be, like, borrowing powdered sugar. from my neighbor. But it just worked out that I was like, this is important to me to create this for myself. If I am going to live alone, I can't be alone. Yeah, I'm glad you asked for that, because I think it's so easy just hop in your car and go get it or have it delivered if you're in

the middle of something. And that's, yeah, maybe that is what is a little bit different. It's because we've lost some of that. Because I remember as a kid, my mom being like, run across the street and get eggs from the Andrews or the Wilson's like, we're out. And so I would. run across, knock on the door. My mom needs two eggs. And I feel like now I would be like, oh, I'll just, you know, order it or get in the car and go get it. So, and maybe because our neighborhood, too, we didn't necessarily live super close to a grocery store. And I kind of do. So maybe that's it as well. But. Well, and there's also this level of like not bothering people, right? We don't want to bother

people, especially like people that we may not know super well. You don't want to inconvenience people and I've had to let go of a lot of that because I am very very fiercely independent. I don't like bothering people. I don't like asking for help. And I'm learning to let go of that because it's not necessarily that I'm asking for help. It's just asking for like relationships and connection. Community. Yeah. Back to community. Yeah. It makes me think of Jenny Allen. She's an author and she wrote a book called Find Your People and there's a lot of encouragement in there like that of like you've got your different pockets of people, your neighbors being one of them. Yeah. See, I think it's important. So especially it's not just important for a snow day when you can go and have fun with them, but

it's important for all days. So maybe that can help you too as this new season of life is happening for you. Okay. We're going to come right back and I'll talk to you about some dating things that's going on. Okay. It's going to be fun. Dating things with who? Me? Yeah. You're like, who at me? No, we'll just talk about it. We're going out out yet. I know. I know. We're working On a recent episode of the podcast, Money and Wealth with John Hope Bryant, I sit down with Tiffany the budgetista Aliche to talk about what it really takes to take control of your money. What would that look like in our families if everyone was able to pass on wealth to the people when they're no longer here? We break down budgeting, financial discipline, and how to build real wealth, starting with the mindset shifts. Too many of us were never, ever taught.

Financial education is not always about like, I'm going to get rich. That's great. It's about creating an atmosphere for you to be able to take care of yourself and leave a strong financial legacy for your family. If you've ever felt you didn't get the memo on money, this conversation is for you to hear more. Listen to Money and Wealth with John O'Brien from the Black Effect Network on the I'd Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever,

You get your podcast. American soccer is about to explode. The World Cup is coming. Ramos sending on to Ernie Stewart. I'm Tab Ramos. I'm Tom Boe. On our podcast, inside American soccer, you'll get the real storylines.

I'm not worried about Policic. I'm not worried about Balagan. I'm not worried about McKinney. My only concern is what happens in the back. The biggest decisions. If you're going to look at stats and numbers, he has no shot at making this World Cup team. And the truth about the U.S. national team.

It wouldn't be a huge surprise if our team ends up in the quarterfinals or potentially a great run into the semifinals. The World Cup is almost here. Experience it all with us. Listen to Inside American Soccer with Tom Bogart and Tab Ramos on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, wherever you get your podcast. Hey, Ernest, what's up? Look, money is something we all deal with,

but financial literacy is what helps turn income into real wealth. On each episode of the podcast, Earn Your Leisure, we break down the conversations you need to understand money, investing, and entrepreneurship. From stocks and real estate to credit, business, and generational wealth, we translate complex financial topics into real conversations everyone can understand. Because the truth is, most people will never talk how money really works. But once you understand the system, you can start to build within it. That means ownership, smarter investing, and creating opportunities not just for yourself,

but for the next generation. If you want to learn how to build wealth, understand the markets, and think like an owner, earn your leisure is the podcast for you. Listen to Earn Your Leisure on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. All right.

So I'm in this situation right now. Okay, so, Amy, let me tell you this. Like, I really go off vibes. And if I get really excited about somebody, then I'm like, okay, this is somebody that I could potentially keep hanging out with. If I don't get excited, it's really hard for me to like kind of keep continuing.

And I'm just in this place where I'm like, how many dates do I give it before I'm like, this is, the vibes aren't here? And I don't know. I don't know what that answer is. And I've been dating a lot. And you're asking me, the person that hasn't dated a lot? It's just more like a balancing off feedback here, okay? Like, you know, we talk about my dates a lot.

And so like, from just a different perspective, how many would you think? It doesn't have to be the right answer. Three? That's kind of what I'm thinking. Like that's a good average. Average of three. Some you may know it too and some it might take four. Yeah.

Also, do you feel like you should be getting excited and having butterflies about somebody? Or do you feel like that's maybe something we think is supposed to have them, but it's not necessarily healthy? Okay. So my friend that's getting married next month, her first date with her fiancé, was not good. And she didn't think she was going to ever go out with him again. But she decided to give it another go. Did she get, like, Butterfly's the second one? She knew that she was definitely like, oh, okay, the first situation, like, maybe he was nervous.

She didn't know what was going on the first day, but that was not who, her experience on the second date. So then she went on the third, and then, voila, here they are now. You're married. Getting married, married, married. So really that three, like three date threshold. Yeah. Ish, but you can't. I don't think you put that as a hard rule.

I know. I'm just, like, nervous because it's like you don't want to waste your time. You don't want to waste their time. And it is like, this is like a really good person. I'm just not sure if I'm like excited because I'm not like getting ready. I'm like, oh my gosh, I can't wait to see them. But is that like too schoolgirl of me to think that, that I should feel that way? You know what I mean?

I mean, it is an expectation that might be a little bit too much. I don't know that you have to feel that right away. I know. So I'd remove that expectation. And if you feel it, great. I don't know. But then like if it doesn't keep coming, like after a third date, am I like if it's not there, I feel like that's a concern.

I feel like you'll know. I don't know. I heard a dating expert talking about, shoot, I wish I didn't finish the whole episode, but I think she was talking about how, you know, your healthiest relationships are the people that you may dive with in a really great way. It might seem to you, depending on your history in relationships, to be a little boring. You don't have some of those same rush-type feelings that you had before.

So maybe lean into that or pay attention and give it some space because it doesn't mean that the person is boring or you're boring. It's just sometimes we get used to certain types of feelings, even in like the drama or if there's, you know, avoidant or anxious behavior from one of the, people we kind of get into a pattern of that and we kind of we want that and there's like this rush we get like oh he made me feel this way or oh is he avoiding me or oh oh that makes me like him more oh why is he ignoring me and then we or we push people away because we're trying to avoid but it

becomes a cycle and you you look for it and so anyway I'm just saying no I know because you're not getting like crazy feelings inside of you or it's maybe seems a little, you know, vanilla, plain. Yeah. Vanilla means a lot of things. Oh, see, I always heard vanilla. What does that mean? It can mean a lot of things.

Okay, well, this could be one. Like plain vanilla or there's French vanilla. There was this photographer that in Austin and he would take a lot of pictures of a lot of the girls from my high school at least. And my sister was doing her senior photos with him. and they're kind of inappropriate. Like I look at the pictures now and I'm like, why did our parents let us take pictures with this person?

But maybe just because he was like the guy. But my sister was like on, he had her like on the wall kind of leaning up against a wall and this black dress kind of like cat like. Okay, yeah. And or she told me he said to her, he's like, okay, do you want to be plain vanilla? Or do you want to be French vanilla?

See, there's any windows with this? Right. So that's probably where I get the vanilla saying. So sometimes vanilla's good. I know. It's also one of those things that I'm trying to understand my expectations because I do like, there is this level of like I want a movie love in the sense that like I just want to be healthily in love with this person that I'm going to spend my life with.

And there is concern for me if I, after three dates, I'm not even feeling a hint of that. You know what I mean? Like, just this kind of excitement. It's not even like this like giddy, like, oh my God, this is so toxic. I cannot wait. It's more this like, I cannot wait to see this person again because I love spending time with them. Do you know what I mean? Like it has turned from that because it used to be that lust factor, the push and pull. I loved that. Clearly I had some wonderful relationships. But you feel more secure now. Yes. I feel very healthy. And I don't need that. But I still want the excitement of love. Sure. You know, I think that's okay, but I don't know at what point

that comes. If you're attracted to someone and you're still having a good time, I say keep going and see what happens. I'm attracted to the companionship. I don't know if I'm contracted to them. Is companionship bad? No, but like if I want to. Okay, if you're not attracted to them, okay, then I'm going to go ahead and say, there's the keyword. Like, it just hit me where you're like, okay, now I think we're getting somewhere. I know. You just want someone to hang out with, but you're not necessarily attracted to them. Okay. I think he's a wonderful person.

Okay. It's not that. At this moment, it's not him. And I think it's okay. But should I keep going like on dates with them to see if that helps? If you. I don't know. I'm stuck.

One more. Okay. See, I'm stuck. See my problem? Yeah, but you also, are you dating somebody else too? Like, are you going out with multiple people? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And maybe it is okay to hang out with it. Just kind of keep exploring. Yeah. Okay. I just didn't know if there's like a threshold I should be looking for. Listen, I'm going off a guidebook that I've made up of my past experiences and all of my friends' past experiences.

And we're all just like kind of fumbling our way through it. Yeah, but also, I don't know that movie-ish type love we can look to that. Movies aren't real. Just more that like I just really genuinely want to be so in love with somebody. That kind of movie love where you're just like you love. But like, you love always every minute because there's not. No. But like.

So in love. I'm so in love with them that even when you're angry with them, you still love them. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, that you love them in all aspects, even when they really make you mad, even when their flaws really suck, or even when something bad happens. You love them at their worst. Yes. Like, genuinely, like, what we should have.

What everybody should get to experience. That kind of love. I just call it movie love because I really love movies. That's that connection. Okay. I don't know if we got anywhere with that one, but it's there. I think we did sort of in that. that you're enjoying some guy's companionship,

but you're not attracted to him. Yep, maybe. What if the attraction could build? I don't know. That's what I'm saying, and I just don't know where to give up that threshold because I don't want to waste either of our times. It's a funky balance.

Maybe he'll decide for you and he'll just stop calling you. I don't think that. I'm not getting those vibes. Oh, he's feeling the in love. He's got the... Yeah, I think so. At least the way he's talking. And the actions are proven it, you know?

And he's very intentional. Well, let me ask you. Could it be that you're thinking he's too into you? So you're not attracted to that. Do you want to work for it a little more? No. Is that what you want? Amy, I actually really love that he's intentional.

I really like that about him. Okay. I'm just more concerned. I'm not feeling that further connection, like love connection. Like I feel very connected as a person. How about just be in the moment and don't look like? Well, I do on the dates. Okay.

You do on the dates. So even after, just be present. and be like, hey, I'm enjoying this guy. I'll keep going out with them as long as I'm curious about where it's going to go. The minute you're no longer curious if you're going to eventually feel that way, then maybe you step back. Okay. That might be what it is.

Yeah, because I think sometimes we might be asking ourselves questions that don't need to be asked at this moment. That's true. I can be very analytical. Like I'm very feelings-based, but I can be very analytical. Also, feelings shouldn't be in the driver's. receipt. No, but like, I'm very analytical because I, you know, we've talked about it. I've dated a lot of losers, like losers. And so I'm so protective over my, over myself. So I get very analytical about situations instead of just allowing to be present. Yeah. Which is more, a little bit more

feelings based is more present in the moment. So now I think we got to where we need to go. And it's that. Yeah. Be present. Okay. You know, I'm normally really good about that. Apparently, I'm just not good at it with dating. You're, it's learning. It's a process. Yeah. You're growing. You're evolving. Something like that. Okay. Also, speaking of a date, I did go on a date and a listener came up to me and made me look

really cool on my date. And I just, like, want to shout around for that because that was really awesome. That was her name. Okay. She messaged me because she came up to me and she's like, oh, my God, it is you because she had bought the jacket that I was posted online. She's like, I bought that because of you and I saw you wearing and I knew it was you. I looked the link.

Yeah. And I was like, oh, my gosh. Thank you for making me. Did he know at that point your job? Yes. Like he knows what I do. I don't think he knew the extent of it, right? Like, I think he... Did he listen or no? No. He doesn't listen. I think he just knew that I am on a radio show. He didn't realize, like, the public side of it as much. And it didn't start all him, and he was really good about it. Like, he literally just stepped back and, like, let me do my thing and didn't, like... It was a great interaction to have experience.

But she made me look really cool. Oh, good. Like, I was like, okay, that should have a bar off it because now I feel really proud. Now I can't find her, though. She's in my inbox somewhere. She knows who she is. So that happened. I feel like your clothing links.

People are appreciating those, right? You're getting good at that. Yeah. Like when you're going out. Short people things. Yeah. Right. Because you do have to find certain things.

Oh, my gosh. Yeah. It fits differently. Lanks are so hard. So I just want to shout her out because that was awesome. And this is a pro tip because I learned this. Apparently, if you wear red nail polish, which I'm like testing out this theory, it reminds guys of their moms for some reason and in turn makes them more attracted to you. Don't ask me the science behind that or why that's the case.

Okay, I've heard about the red nail polish thing, but I didn't know it was because of their moms. Like a familiar feeling, I think, is what it is. And like associate it with like a good figure in their life who is likely their mom. and in turn for whatever reason makes them more like attracted to you and what you're saying and talking. So pro tip. Morgan right now, though, I have red nail. Guys, I know you can see this, but Morgan has red nail polish on. I don't know that this is the look we need to use.

But the tips are completely all changed, which I can be this way too. But if you're testing out a theory, then like paint the nail. I will when I go on the dates, though. Like we're not on a day. Yeah. Okay, good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, this is just from the last date I went on and I just haven't fixed it yet.

Which was win. Because. Amy, let me live my life. Okay. Most of the time, my nails were chipped. Okay, okay. But when I am testing the theory, yes, they are freshly polished. Gotcha.

I'm just giving you a hard time. I just got called out so hard. That I was like, because I do want you to get accurate, you know, results from your. Yeah, my chip nail's going to do that. Mm-hmm. Okay. That's all I got. Okay, so I looked at the red nail theory.

Okay, this is where I saw on TikTok. If you wear red nail polish, you're more likely to receive attention from potential suitors. There it is. And then, God, that was just the headline in her video. The girl Robin on TikTok said that every time she has red nails, a guy comments on the color. She was confused at first until it hit her. In the 90s, when we were growing up, women had red nails a lot, especially like our moms. And I weirdly think that guys are attracted to red nails because it reminds them of their moms.

And when they were growing up, taking care of them. See? Yeah, that hashtag red nail theory has over 164 million views on TikTok. Yeah, so pro tip, if you're going on dates and stuff, just wear red nail polish and like, see if they're paying attention. Another person on TikTok said that she has been asked out five or six times because of her red nails. What? See? I have no nail polish.

When we go out, out, Amy, we have to wear red nails. We have to continue the study. Okay. Because it's just a theory, right? It's just a working theory. We got to feel like if it is a thing. Now I'm scrolling down.

This is this, now we're going beyond TikTok and we're hearing from psychologists. So this is from Yahoo News. It says, is the red nail theory real? Yes, according to psychologists. Color experts and, well, science. Red nails can be a magnet to attract male attention, but not necessarily for the reason. The reason maybe that the TikTokers said.

Okay. Men associating red nails with female figures from their past. It really is dependent on individual experiences, obviously. Certainly you could see red nails or any color that you had an experience with, and that would remind you. The idea that red nails conjure up memories from their mother sounds reasonable. Where's, can we get to the point? They're always like long.

Blah, blah, blah. I'm trying to read. Okay, here we go. They say that red has deep roots in association. with romance, sexuality, and passion. So they're talking about what is associated with red. This is also a reason why I had to wear red underwear under the table eating grapes. I had not heard of that until you posted about it.

Listen, these are all theories, okay? So we're going to be wearing, when we go out, out, we're wearing red nails. Okay, maybe. I might do pink. My mom wore like a coral. Okay, but it's not your mom. We're trying to drag the guy's mom. Gotcha, gotcha.

Okay. Okay, we're going to go jump over to the listener Q&A. You guys send in a bunch of questions, and we're going to go answer some of them. Sound good? Yeah. Okay. We'll be over there.

Come join us in part three. That's the best bits of the week with Morgan. Thanks for listening. Be sure to check out the other two parts this weekend. Go follow the show on all social platforms. At Bobby Bone's show. And follow at Webgirl Morgan. To submit your listener questions for next week's episode.

Hey, I'm Dr. Maya Shunker. A Cognitive Scientist and hosts of the podcast, a slight change of plans, a show about who we are and who we become when life makes other plans. I wish that I hadn't resisted for so long the need to change. We have to be willing to live with a kind of uncertainty that none of us likes. You can have opinions. You can have like a strong stance. And then there's your body having its own program. Listen to a slight change of plans on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

This is Amy Roboc alongside TJ Holmes from the Amy and TJ podcast. And there is so much news, information, commentary coming at you all day and from all over the place. What's fact, what's fake, and sometimes what the F. So let's cut the crap, okay? Follow the Amy and T.J podcast, a one-stop news and pop culture shop to get you caught up and on with. your day. And listen to Amy and TJ on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. On a recent episode of the podcast, Money and Wealth with John Hobriant, I sit down with Tiffany the budgetista Aliche to talk about what it really takes to take control of your money.

What would that look like in our families if everyone was able to pass on wealth to the people when they're no longer here? We break down budgeting, financial discipline, and how to build real wealth starting with the mindset shifts, too many of us were never, ever taught. If you've ever felt you didn't get the memo on money, this conversation is for you to hear more. Listen to money and wealth with John Hope Bryant from the Black Effect Network on the I'd Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed human.