The Bobby Bones Show - Bobby’s Hemorrhoid Flares Up + Bobby Sets The Record Straight On Katy Perry Twitter Feud
Episode Date: May 22, 2018Bobby talks about dealing with some hemorrhoid issues, and sets the record straight on his alleged Twitter feud with Katy Perry. Also, Amy’s son thinks she needs to ‘chill out.’ Learn more abou...t your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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funding. Folks, it's your buddy and my Mr. Bobby Bowles. Come to the big show on Tuesday. Morning,
everybody. Morning. Morning. Thank you.
Here, I'll give you, I'll read the story about sitcom dads.
Okay.
I'll give you a sitcom dad.
Tell me their job.
Okay.
From Full House, Danny Tanner.
News anchor, morning show.
Yeah, TV host.
Okay.
Yeah, I'll take that.
How about from Roseanne, Dan Connor?
Um, construction worker.
Yeah, a building contractor, or he switched over to a motorcycle mechanic at one point.
Okay.
How about that?
You're going.
How about that?
A little belt.
Yeah, how about Ray Barone from Everybody Loves Raymond?
Sports writer.
Wow.
Wow, Amy.
How about Philip Banks from the Fresh Prince?
A judge.
Or lawyer?
Lawyer first.
He was for most of it a lawyer and then he turned into a judge when he won the election.
Yeah.
Good.
Okay.
Okay, Amy.
Okay.
Raise it up a bit.
Carl Winslow from Family Matters.
What was his job?
Carl Winslow.
Police officer.
Wow.
We found her strength.
Oh, yeah.
Wow.
Yes.
Okay.
Al Bundy from Marry with Children.
Come on, Amy.
Very famous for this job.
Really?
Yes.
Did he work?
Al, he did.
Just picturing him at home.
Al Bundy.
They even did scenes there.
A lot.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, gosh.
What was his job?
I just didn't.
Car salesman?
Shoes salesman.
Oh.
Okay.
How about Mike Brady from the Brady Bunch?
Architect.
Correct.
Wow.
She's good, guys.
Yeah, she's really good.
Okay, okay.
Rick Grimes from the Walking Dead.
Oh, he was a sheriff.
That's correct.
You won't get this one.
It's the last one.
Okay.
Phil Dunphy from Modern Family.
Car salesman.
Real estate agent.
Dang it.
That was good.
Hey, that's pretty good.
That's pretty good.
Good way to start Tuesday, you all right?
Well, well, well.
Let's get going here.
Recognizing people doing cool things.
It's ICU.
This guy James Harrison is known for being the man with a
golden arm. He has donated blood every week for 60 years. Wow. How about that? Man. It's a lot.
Yeah. How about that? After all the donations, he retired on Friday. According to the Red Cross,
the 81 year old has helped save lives in more than 2.4 million babies with his donation.
Whoa. He had a life-saving chest surgery. He was 14. And blood donations helped save him.
So that's his motivation. He's 81. And for 60 years, he's been giving blood.
Why is he hanging up his arm?
I don't know if that arm's got much left in it.
He's drained it all.
So James Harrison, how about that?
How about that?
Let's go to Raymond with the news now.
The Bobby Bones Show.
Big Three Stories.
It's producer Raymond in South Carolina.
That manhunt for those two escape murder suspects is still going on.
An electrical outage led to the escape.
Pictures of the men are online.
In Hawaii, that volcano lava has made its way to the ocean.
It's making a toxic haze.
An expert said it can cause irritate.
to your skin, eyes, and lungs.
And finally, in Chicago, McDonald's workers marched at the headquarters for $15 an hour wages.
Other marches for higher wages are planned across the country.
Yeah, so here we are.
It's Tuesday morning, and we should celebrate the fact that there's another anniversary on our show.
We recently talked about our phone screener Hillary, but Mike D. is celebrating, is it two years?
Two years.
Two years here on the show.
Wow.
It goes by so fast.
So let me tell you about this Mike D. Fella, aka Movie Mike, aka Music Mike, Chirona.
Wasn't there another one, Mikey knows or something?
Oh, there's a lot of them.
AKA Mikey likes it.
Mikey likes it.
So Quiet Mike.
I don't know who you said that.
Quiet Mike, yeah.
So Mike D was an intern for me.
How long ago?
Like nine years ago.
Nine years ago he was an intern.
And he sent me a message on MySpace at the time.
asking if he could come
or just advice on how to do a podcast
and I replied on MySpace.
You've been here with us in the studio for two years?
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
Quiet Mike doesn't say much so sometimes I just feel like
he's not here, which is a good thing because that's what he does.
He hovers, writes, and little papers slide right next to you
and who gave that to you?
You don't know.
Oh, he's completely changed how I do the show.
Yeah.
And I think he came in at a great time where
Amy shifted a bit into her kids
and Mike D came in and shifted into that space where it's like
Hey I also I got you here on the creative side of things
So but so Mike's been there two years
Intern nine years ago came up to the studio just to watch
Yeah
And that's all the other interns I was like I want to do that
So he came on we left Austin
moved to Nashville
I hope Mike get a job producing the morning show
In Austin
Meaning he would just run the board locally
Then he got a job doing weekends
on the air.
And then I was like, hey, dude, I got a spot.
And he came over to help me in my personal life, like, you know, stuff around the house and
stuff.
And then it was a phone screener and worked his way up.
Two years and two years.
Look at that.
And now he's got insurance.
Wow.
Big deal.
Yeah.
Look at this guy.
Two years here.
Say something.
Mike, do.
Speak, speech.
I mean, it was, I remember the day Bobby called me.
I was at the gym.
And he's like, hey, I got a spot for you.
And immediately, I was like, yes.
He's like, no, take some time to think about it.
I'm like, I'm ready to go right now.
And he packed his car up and moved here, and he lived with me for six months or so.
Yeah, I did.
Lived with me for a while.
And then we have to address the fact that he lost over 120 pounds.
That's a big part of his journey, just straight journey.
Congratulations, man.
Thank you.
Two years here on this show.
Two years and 20 words later.
It's about it for the next few months.
And pretty much everybody really likes Mike.
Yeah.
Lunchbox gets irritated with him.
No, yeah.
Lunchbox, that's everyone.
My stuff is all just playful.
I don't pretty much like you.
I do like you.
There you go.
You're welcome.
I just have to clarify that because I know sometimes on air it may seem as though I don't.
You two, when we build a new studio, if I ever do, you two won't stand beside each other.
Because right now you two are right beside each other.
Okay.
You know what is that?
You're so close so you get to pick on them closer.
Oh, he's a close to punching back to you.
Yeah.
He's your stress pillow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Anyway, congratulations, bye.
Thank you.
So here's Amy's son Stevenson saying chill out.
Chill out.
That's what he says to me.
Anytime we get worked out, worked out.
He's like, chill out.
Here he is saying relax.
Relax.
We're still working on relax.
And what's the other one?
What does he say?
What else?
He says, calm down.
Everybody calm down.
Everybody calm down.
He says,
He says them all together.
He says them all together, too.
So that's normally his thing.
If you're going a little bit crazy, what did he say to you?
He says, he'll start with that.
He just goes, everybody, and he puts his hands up, and he lowers them, calm down.
Chill out.
Relax.
Where does he get that from?
I don't know.
I think that, well, they say me, because apparently I may say to them, like, okay, everybody
just calm down.
I mean, I don't say it like him.
But I must say, calm down.
Just chill out.
Okay, let's relax.
I'm going to keep the chill out clip for when you guys get out of control.
Hey, Raymond, hear me some chill out.
Too loud.
So, when you guys get a little obnoxious, I'm just going to hit this button right here and go, hey, chill out.
Too loud.
Chill out.
I mean, it does kind of make you want to chill out.
You'll probably be using that mostly when lunchbox is talking.
That's true.
How's the kids thing working, Amy?
I mean, it's working.
Yeah?
Someone was asking about it because I was in Austin over the week.
weekend. And they were like, hey, what's up with Amy and the kids? I said, well, I feel like now
she has blocks of good days instead of a single good day, which before that, there were no good
days. We're getting in blocks. Like, we're getting in the groove. I feel like a mom, my husband
feels like a dad. It seems more legit. For a little bit, it was like, this is real. Is this
really our life? And now it's like, okay, yes, this is legit our life. And we love it.
Yeah, if you're new to the show, Amy adopted two kids about four months ago from Haiti,
after spending five years with them
in the adoption process going back and forth.
So, hey, if ever time
start to get tough with these kids,
just chill out, you know?
Chill out.
Too loud.
Chill out.
The latest from Nashville in Hollywood.
Amy's 32nd skinny.
Blake Shelton will be replacing Kathy Lee
on June 6th on the today show.
He and Hoda Cobb will be at Blake's old red bar
in Nashville doing a pre-party
for the CMT Music Awards, which is going down that night,
they'll also be announcing the five finalists for video of the year.
So Jackie Lee released a song yesterday called Long Year,
and he started writing it back in 2016 after his mom died of cancer.
But before he finished, he himself was diagnosed with testicular cancer.
So that's why he's been, you know, not really out and about the last year or so.
He had surgery, everything was fine, and then the cancer came back.
Then he had chemotherapy his last year.
treatment was in January, so he feels like it's time to get back into the swing of things.
I'm Amy. That's your 30-second skinny.
It's time for the good news.
With Bobby. Tell me something good.
I love a good old overachiever story.
A New Jersey 17-year-old is getting his associates degree three weeks before he graduates from
high school.
How about that?
A 17-year-old from New Jersey is earning his college degree even before he finishes up's high
school career.
Quentin Adams.
Man, that's crazy. That's awesome.
He worked hard to skip the usual academic order.
He would do six-hour study sessions every day to complete assignments from both high school and college.
Obviously, he was an AP.
And now, because apparently he wasn't able to afford college to get into a university,
he's got a scholarship because he did all this work ahead of time and already has his associate's degree.
Legit.
Yep.
That's cool.
I know lunchbox gets annoyed by these kids, but I think it's pretty cool.
I just understand.
He doesn't, no childhood.
But hey, props to him if that's what he wanted to do.
No childhood?
I don't know he didn't have a childhood.
Because, listen, he said he studied for six hours a night.
No friends hanging out with you if you're studying six hours a night.
That is a lot.
What about the fact that the kid couldn't get into college?
So he did this in order to get to college.
That's what I said.
Congrats.
He knew what he needed to do.
And he said, I'm not going to have any friends, but I'm going to get into college.
That's cool.
I like this guy.
Quentin Adams, you keep working hard, buddy.
We need more people like you in this world.
I see you, Quentin.
This story comes to us from East Ridge, Tennessee.
A woman was at a cell phone store when her cell phone wasn't working.
She wasn't getting good reception.
She got angry and she said, I'm about to make the news.
Goes out, gets in her car, and drives right through the building.
Wow.
Oh, yeah.
And her friend tried to talk her out of it, said, you don't have to do this.
She goes, oh, I'm getting on the news.
And right through the front window.
It's pretty awesome.
But did she make the news?
Well, she made bonehead.
She made bonehead, so she made it pretty far in life.
And did she go to jail?
Yeah, she was arrested, for sure.
Oh, that's it, girl.
Well, she got her news coverage, some radio exposure.
What's her name?
It doesn't say her name.
Well, you know what would be fun?
It would be fun to drive through a building, let's be honest.
It would be so awesome to crash through the glass window.
Amy, you don't think that sounds fun?
No, I have zero desire to drive through a building, guys.
I don't think that breaking things for the sake of breaking things is fun.
Lunchbox does.
Yep.
But I don't.
But I think driving through a glass storefront, a big.
truck would be awesome.
You don't.
No.
If you know you're going to be safe, you don't want to hear the
like on the movies?
No.
Eddie, do you?
Yeah, I'm down.
Okay, y'all are guys. I don't know.
No, no, no. Amy, don't you want to take a baseball bat and break TVs?
That's what I'm doing that too.
Do I?
Absolutely.
I don't, but you've said you do before.
Okay, I must have been hormonal that day.
She's mature.
I mean, it depends on the time of a month, but yeah, probably.
Okay.
I don't know.
Thank you for that story, Lunchbox.
Yeah, I'm Lunchbox.
That's your bonehead story today.
Folks, it's your buddy and mine.
Mr. Bobby Bones.
I got to spend the Price's right wheel, which is pretty cool.
I was at American Idol.
And I forgot to mention this.
And the wheel is in the hallway.
Because American Idol was in the same studio,
the Price is Right, the James Corden.
All that's in the same place.
And they go, yeah, that's the Price's Right Wheel.
Don't go spin it because they don't like that.
Are you kidding me?
You gotta go spin it.
How many times am I going to walk by the price's right wheel?
So I didn't spin it super hard and I was getting some crap online because I didn't spin it really hard.
They were like, why you give it?
Wimpy.
Well, I just gave it a little tug because I don't want to get in trouble.
So I did pull it.
It's on my Instagram.
Were you jealous?
Yeah, definitely.
I mean, that's goals.
I always wondered how heavy the wheel was.
Yeah, how heavy is it?
It's pretty heavy.
Yeah, it is.
Really?
Yeah.
Did you see people like, get up there and then pull it down?
It's on my Instagram if you want to see it
But the James Corden TV studio is so small
Really?
It's like kitchen chairs in the audience
And they're like 100 of them, right?
My Dee?
It's tight, it's like two rows.
It's like two...
It's so small.
It's so deceiving on TV.
Everything looks so much bigger.
Even the American Idol studio where they have the live show
It's not that big.
But they use that wide angle lens.
Yeah, they do.
I need one of those for when I'm naked.
You know what I mean?
Okay.
We'll order one for you.
Give me one of those, wide-angle lenses.
Sure.
You know what?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
All right, cool.
What?
What's up?
Nothing.
Darius performed last night.
I'm going to play for the first time from Darius Rucker now on the Bobby Bones show.
By the way, speaking to Darius, I'll be in Charleston coming up in a couple weeks on my funny, I guess it's, what is it called?
Red Hoodie Comedy Tour?
Yeah.
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
Bobby Bonescomedy.com.
If you're in Charleston, you want to come.
So I flew back in probably like 8.30 last night.
I think it to bed until close to midnight just because I was up.
And I'd been on West Coast time over at Idol for a bit.
And so I get in and I watch all of American Idol last night.
And as I'm watching it, I just tweet, hey, you know, the final tour of dating.
I thought it was just known.
Oh.
They were talking about it so openly.
I'd asked about it in the packages, which they didn't run that part of it.
But they didn't stop me from talking about it.
So I tweet it and I get a message for my friend who worked at Idol.
goes, hey, you should probably take that down.
I'm like, why would happen?
I thought it's pretty open.
And they said, ah, I don't want to get yelled at.
But I was talking to Caleb and Maddie about it.
So whatever.
I pull it down, whatever, what do I care?
And like 10 seconds later, they announced it on TV.
Oh.
And I text back, I said, you made me take it down.
And they were like, yeah, they wanted to make the big announce.
I said, what was the difference?
I pulled it down for 10 seconds.
I didn't mean to break news.
But I guess it did.
Then Maddie won, which is pretty cool.
After the nationwide vote.
The winner of American Idol is Maddie Pappy.
Maddie Pappy.
As I called her over and over, Maddie Pope.
Which means a runner-up is Cair and Lee Hudson's son.
So yeah, she was my favorite throughout the year.
As far as, like, hanging out, like my kind of artist.
She's a singer-songwriter, but it was good.
And so that's the end of it.
You think you'll mentor?
I have no comment.
That was quick.
What?
Wow.
She didn't even get the question around.
No comment.
It could have gone anywhere.
Oh, go ahead.
Well, I mentor you today at radio?
Absolutely.
Oh, no.
I was going to say mentor their relationship.
Oh.
No.
They're a little young.
They're still together even after she won?
Yeah.
Like, they didn't break up?
It's like a competition and then they're like, uh.
Actually, I don't like you.
Now they have to be together through tour.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
I think he wanted her to win.
Oh.
Because the whole time we were there, she's the winner.
Okay, Bobby.
She's better.
So if you and I are young,
and we're out there, and we're on American Idol, we start dating, and then I win.
You're breaking up with me.
No, I think it'd be the other way around since you're the winner.
I'm probably holding on to that number one person and making a bigger story about it.
Oh, right.
See, this is PR brain.
Gosh, that's good thinking.
So even though you want to break up with me, you're staying with me.
I don't want to break up with you.
Oh, I just feel like you're so competitive, you'd break up with me.
I wouldn't date you to begin with in the competition.
Because you'd be way ahead of that because you're smart.
But once I did, I'm a type of conversation.
All right, hold on a minute.
All right, never going to get it.
80% of parents have bribed their kids with this to get them to do something.
80% of parents.
Amy, you're a new mom.
80% of parents, that's most.
I don't know the most math.
That's the most.
80% of parents have bribed their kids with this to get them to do something.
What do you think?
Ice cream.
Oh, wow, you think it's ice cream.
Okay.
Amy's guess.
It's a good one, Amy.
Lunchbox?
Yeah, stay up later.
Ooh, good one.
Yeah.
Eddie?
Cookies, cookies, cookies, cookies.
Yeah, easy access.
Here's a cookie, do it.
Well, I will tell you guys that one of you's right.
Oh, lunchbox isn't so good.
I'll tell you after this.
Okay.
Yeah, now we're going to get it.
80% of parents have bribed their kids with this.
Hey, Donna in Arkansas.
Hey.
What's happening?
Oh, getting ready for work.
Well, thanks for calling.
What do you think about this?
Well, I bribe mine with money.
Yeah, how much money do you give them, and how old are they?
7, 8, and 14.
Do you have to give more money to the older kid?
Yes, because he tries to make deals with me.
Yeah, kids a little smarter.
Yeah, that's not it.
I appreciate the guess.
That's not it.
Amy, what was yours?
Mine was ice cream.
80% of parents bribed their kids with ice cream.
Wow, Amy.
Instinctual for her.
Yeah.
Your kids like ice cream?
Oh, they love it.
So much so that we, it's currency.
Yes, it's basically currency.
But they get it one time only on the weekends and they can choose if they want it Friday or Saturday.
And they always choose Friday.
Of course.
Because it's like, yeah, it's Friday.
When can we have ice cream?
I'm like, you don't want to save it for tomorrow?
Nope.
But then I have used it on the weekends as extra bribes sometimes.
Like, hey.
Oh, so you give it to them on both days.
No, no.
Or on a weeknight if they're real.
I'm really trying to bribe something.
Oh, so any day of the week.
All the days.
Okay.
No, no, no, no.
I'm just saying that's when I use it as a bribe.
Later, you've got to have something to come in handy.
But I will say lunchbox came in with a clutch guest of staying up later because I do that one.
I do that forward bribing.
Your husband let you stay up later?
No, no.
Oh, wow.
That's nice.
No, I do that like for bribing for the next day.
I said, okay, I'm going to let you stay up later, but tomorrow I need you to do this.
I'm like, okay.
Does that work or are they just tired the next day?
No, it works.
How much later?
Like five minutes
but they think it's like forever.
Here's the big headlines.
Number one, Maddie Pope
wins American Idol last night.
After the nationwide vote,
the winner of American Idol
is Maddie Pappy.
Maddie Pappy.
I always do that.
Why don't think I can see?
So yeah, she wins.
And then she starts crying hard
in the middle of her song,
can't sing anymore, so the other idols run on and sing for her.
It's a cool thing.
Yeah, it's good.
Miss Nebraska wins Miss USA.
Miss USA 2018 is Nebraska.
Not bad looking.
Did pretty good there.
Let's see what she looks on.
I have to check her out.
Yeah.
James Arthur is sued over the song, Say You Won't Let Go.
So you know this song?
Yeah.
Say you won't let go.
Just say you.
Oh, it does sound like the script.
The song from the script.
So, yeah, about that.
When I heard that song, I thought it was the other song, frankly.
Which other song?
I thought that was a song.
Oh, you thought it was.
Oh, is that why I think I know that song?
Yeah.
Okay.
Probably.
So there's that.
Here's another one.
A marathon runner wears a 100-pound weight during a marathon.
It sets the Guinness World Record.
I just kept telling myself, 17 months ago, you said we're going to do this.
Don't make yourself have to go to another marathon to get this record.
Not exactly sure what I'm going to do next.
We've got a couple of ideas I'm kicking around right now.
How about that?
It wears a 100-pound weight during a marathon.
How about that?
How about that?
How about that?
That sounds pretty miserable.
Yeah, even he was going, I don't want to do that again.
I think his motivation was not having to try it again.
Yeah.
Okay, well, I guess he was just trying to break a record because I was like,
what's he trying to prove to himself?
Like, that seems like painful.
Like you could hurt yourself.
Well, that's what a regular marathon seems like to me without the weight.
Yes, I agree, agree.
But you've done the marathon.
Yes, and I hurt myself.
See?
There we go.
Without the way.
No extra added weight.
And yeah, I completed it, but I don't think I could walk for like six weeks.
The human body is not supposed to do that.
Especially mine.
No, that's why it's a thing.
The human body is not supposed to run and have that violent force on your knees and ankles for 26.2 miles.
I thought that's why it was a thing because they're saying this is possible.
No, no, no, no, no.
It's not at all.
And then finally, here's one other clip.
Today in 1995, Alan Jackson released, I Don't Even Know Your Name, went to number one.
I'm in love with you, baby, and I don't even know your name.
Wow.
I'm in love with you, baby, I don't even know your name.
I've never been too good with all those sexual games.
So maybe it's just better if we leave it this way.
I'm in love with you, baby, and I don't even know your name.
That's got it by.
Yeah.
Throwback.
There it is.
So all that's today.
Those are the big five clips that I have this morning.
I feel so up to speed.
Do you?
Yeah.
That was the whole point.
I wanted to get everybody up to speed.
I love it when things work out like that.
Okay.
Body's all messed up.
Like my mouth doesn't produce the adequate amount of saliva anymore.
And I don't know if this is a medical condition or not, or if I'm just really dry from flying.
But I hear you're talking.
Me talking all the time.
See, yeah, my mouth.
My amyroids getting bad.
I'm telling you.
Yeah.
I was talking on my first.
friends and he was like yeah I have one two he was a bodybuilder and so I now realize why pregnant women
get them when they have a baby they strain so hard yes so I have one too from running from a long
time ago man it's starting to hurt me again okay the whole cause the fit my mom okay you need a
hydrate I like two bottles of water this morning I don't even know what's happening I do leg day now
it takes me a month to not be sore how's your fiber thing going you've better with that excellent excellent
Because I've been on it.
Okay.
Like, there's one thing I do.
I wake up, have my four metamusals.
It's not a commercial, by the way.
Just check it.
Just check it up on you.
I have my four fiber pills in the morning.
Yeah.
And my four before I go to bed.
Yeah.
Four in the morning and four before bed.
Yeah.
And then that's why my hemorrhoid hurts.
Oh.
So it's a no win.
There I am going back and forth.
Probably why you need to drink more water too.
You want to know, though?
What happened is that I'm with Quiet Mike and we're on the road.
And you know how some people will be like, hey, man, let me get hit it.
Let me get hit to that.
I don't know.
That's what I think people do.
What are you talking about?
Yeah, yeah.
Like if you've got something to share and they want a piece of that.
Oh, okay.
Quiet Mike's like, hey, man, let me get some of the fiber.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
On the D.
Mike, Mike D.
Mike D.
A.k.a.
Quiet Mike, Mike, aka.
Movie Mike.
AKA punk rock Mike.
Your Mike.
AKA Mikey likes it.
AKA Magic Mike.
Mike.
Okay, dang it.
Amy took my last one.
Oh, now you were saying it.
Matamusal Mike.
Come on.
Okay, stop.
Mucal Mike.
That's a, man, Amy, you stole a good one.
Amy's like the person at the theater who, like, calls out people's jokes.
No!
I didn't know you had that joke coming!
I'll do, you know.
People will have read my book and they know the Hobby Lobby Bobby story at this point.
And I have the first joke and I've shifted to a second joke.
People will yell in theater before I get to it.
No.
And then ruin it for other people.
That Amy just did that.
I didn't ruin it for anybody because I didn't know that was coming.
A.k.A. Prison, Mike, AKA Mama, Ma'a, Mike.
Sharona.
Thank you.
You ready to do the skinny?
I guess.
What's your headline in one of your stories?
Well, I bet you could spoil it.
No, no, go ahead.
I'd have a story about Dirks Mintley.
Oh, yeah, he's hosting Old Red from Old Red to Bar at Vatota.
That would be Blake Shelton.
Yeah, whatever.
That's two different people.
What?
What I said?
I told you Dirks Bentley.
This saliva is in my brain, too.
Right here.
Bobby Bonche.
The latest from Nashville in Hollywood.
Amy's 32nd Skinny.
Dirk's Bentley will be in the new Pepsi commercial.
He teamed up with them for their new summer campaign
and he's going to be giving away tickets for his tour in Florida.
Fans will also have the chance to meet Dirk's.
So go to PepsiStuff.com for details on this.
And Mike Fisher, he's called it quits one last time.
Carrie Underwood's husband, you know, he plays for the Nashville Predators
and he's officially retired now twice.
He put a little announcement on Instagram yesterday
saying how grateful he was for the last 18 years.
and I was like, 18 years.
18 years.
18 years.
He played hockey for 18 years.
So, anyway, shout out to Mike Fisher,
and he's just, you know, super thankful for all the memories.
It's been a blast.
And the money.
That's right.
He'll be back.
I may be.
That's your 30 seconds.
Now he will not be back again.
It's time for the good news.
With lunchbox.
Tell me something good.
Mr. Boo is usually a silent cat.
And the other day, he wakes up early in the morning.
He's just going up and down the hallway, meowing,
saying, meow, meow, trying to alert the family that something's wrong.
And the family's like, why is he doing this?
So they say, we better get out of the house.
They get out of the house.
They call the fire department.
They come.
They had a carbon monoxide leak.
And Mr. Boo sensed it, warned them, got him out all safely.
Boom.
Yeah, that's crazy how animals do that.
They have to be able to smell.
Something.
Well, they have heightened senses, yeah.
I wonder if my senses are heightened because I can't see that well.
Yeah, because they, I knew a guy.
once that was blind and his nose
and taste, his taste buds
and his smell were like off the charts.
Hmm. Yeah, I wonder if my taste buds are off the charts.
That'd be my superpower. Well, you're not
using them to your full potential because you eat just
normal stuff. I know, but
that would be my luck. If I were giving
a superpower, be like, you have excellent taste buds.
Like, oh, come on.
That's what I have. For all the
radioactive poison, I just fell in, I have great taste buds.
This sucks. Yeah,
good for that cat. That's pretty cool.
I'm telling you.
Good for the humans the cat saved.
Well, hold on.
Let me get to this point here.
The humans, if I were a human and my cat was going, meow, meow, for no reason, I'll be like, be quiet.
I'm not leaving the house.
But so good for the humans for listening to the cat.
True.
Do you suffer from fear of missing out?
Then don't wait.
You have to download the addictive mobile puzzle game that everyone's playing called Best Fiends.
You've heard me right.
Best Fiends, like Friends Without the R.
85 million people have already downloaded this game.
In Best Fiends, you solve puzzles, you collect tons of these cute characters,
then you level up those characters and beat more bad guys.
I interest people to the game all the time.
Listeners tweet me about it all the time.
Download it.
You can play it by yourself.
You can connect with friends, connect with family.
You can also compete at Best Fiends.
They do update the game all the time.
They're over 2,000 levels.
There's always something new in the game.
Best Fiends is not like any of the other puzzle games.
Just check it out.
I can tell you all this, but just check it out for yourself.
Solve your fear of missing out right now.
Go to the app store or Google Play and download Best F-Fiends for free.
That's Best F-E-N-D-S.
It's like Friends Without the R.
Best Fiends, check it out.
Let me know what you think about it and what you're planning all the time.
Send me a note.
Tell me how addicted you've been.
Folks, it's your buddy and mine.
Mr. Bobby Bone.
One minute until Amy's morning corny.
One minute.
Maggie and Missouri.
Good morning.
Good morning, Bobby.
Thank you for calling.
What's going on?
Oh, I'm so excited to get to talk to you about first-time caller.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I'm a fourth grade teacher in Caledonia, Missouri at Valley R6, and I just wanted to tell you guys how appreciative I am for your morning corny.
And the reason why I'm so excited about your morning corny is because this year what I decided to do was to try to start my classroom off with a positive vibe in the morning.
And so every morning, the first thing we do is the morning corny.
And I use Amy's morning corny usually from the day before, so I have.
one on hand, but I use a morning cornage that she's done and to get the classroom going in a
positive way.
We love that.
Awesome.
Yeah.
A-oo-hoo.
Ah, ooh.
Hey, guys, chill out.
All right.
Chill out.
Too loud.
Chill out.
Hey, thank you.
Bobby, if you're ever in St. Louis and you want to come to the school, we also listen to
all of your kids' songs and we listen to the Raging Idiots.
And so if you guys ever want to come down, we would love to have you.
Well, thank you very much.
Which raging idiot song do you guys play the most?
Probably namaste.
Oh, namaste.
That's not a kid's song at all.
I know it's not, but we love it.
Oh, wow.
The kids love namaste.
They do.
May I have to get that on for you then.
Okay.
All right, thank you.
Thank you very much.
Appreciate that.
Give me namestay.
Nice little song about yoga.
Yeah, that can also be their P.E.
Just a little something.
Just a little something.
Namaste.
The Morning Corny.
What does a rain cloud wear under its clothes?
What does a rain cloud wear under its clothes?
Thunderwear.
Okay, solid.
I mean, really, solid jokes.
Thunderware.
Yeah.
That was the Morning Corny.
There it is.
You know a song I really like.
This song from Brandon Ray, that Bring Your Love Back.
It's catchy, huh?
Yes.
I mean, I just sing this one part
Bring your love back
Like it's kind of the jam, right?
Yeah
And I heard him play it 100 times
I never thought much about it
I was like, ah, just another song
But when they put out this version
Like that one lunchboxer now?
Sounds good
I saw you nod your head
Yeah, it's a little jam
He was into it
Why you never know about him?
Sometimes he was like, I don't like that one
Yeah, but that's called The Dance by Garth Brooks
I know what. Sometimes I just don't think of songs good.
Got to my front door. I've been gone for a few days.
And my neighbors in my house, I'm new there.
A big loaf of homemade bread and fresh strawberries.
Wow.
Yeah, and a note that said, here's our phone number. Give us a call.
Bone number.
Yeah, and when do I call them?
Wow.
That's be like, hey, what up is Bobby.
Yeah, today.
I ate your strawberry. They're good.
And the bread.
But when do I make that awkward call?
I don't think they were like
Call us
They're like here's our number
In case you need us
Well I posted on my
Insta story
I blocked out their numbers
But no I think it was
Let's get together or something
Or maybe they heard about my pool party
Coming out
Oh
They want the invite
Regardless I thought it was pretty cool
Because I don't eat bread
At least not right now
But I did eat some of those fresh strawberries
Wow
It's fresh too
When are you gonna eat bread
You can eat it
When are you gonna do that
You can I think it's time
Yeah
Whoa, whoa, whoa, haters.
You said you were going to eat pizza.
Yeah, you said after Idol.
So, whoa, Idol's over.
Idol finished, and here's what I did.
The night of my final day at Idol, which was Sunday night, I had, and Quiet Mike, well, second this, I had half a ball of ice cream.
Yeah.
And not only that, I had a half thing of French fries.
And I had something else.
Do you remember what else they had about Quiet Mike?
It's a bit like wapers in the ice cream.
And Eminem's.
Eminem's.
Yeah.
So, Pug on knees.
What do you think about that?
Yeah, I don't want to be that person that's, like, calling you out to try to eat food,
because I don't like when people say that to people like, eat a burger already.
Oh, I'm getting eat a cheeseburger every second tweet I put out there.
But you did say after Idol, you were going to relax a little.
And here's the thing with you, you get obsessed with everything.
And I feel like currently you're obsessed with weight loss.
Hey, Amy.
Bring your love back.
Bring your love back.
What are mean to me?
I'm not being mean.
Bring your love back.
Come on.
No, I am showing you love.
Yeah. Well, I did have some bad meals, but then I go to Louisville on Wednesday and then Phoenix on Thursday, so I have to kind of chill out a bit.
We don't have to eat bad. On the pool party, I'm going to eat pizza.
Yeah. I'm probably going to eat pizza. So, yeah, I don't need to be hate.
Should we bring pizza or you ordering it? I think I'll probably order a bunch. I got a DJ. I told you that.
Yes, yes, yes, yes. I'm pumped.
By the way, in 45 minutes, there will be another invitation going on. I was wondering about that.
What's up? What's up? I was wondering him right now.
No, I'm probably like 45 minutes.
I'll make another invitation.
This is the day.
I'll wait 45 minutes.
The weekend pool party.
By the way, Eddie nor lunchbox has been invited yet.
I feel like today's the date.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, cool, cool, cool.
Do you all have any other backup plans just in case?
No, no, no, no, we've cleared the calendar.
I have at least.
I have.
Do you lunchbox?
Oh, yeah.
I got things lined up.
Then he's good.
We played a clip earlier this guy who ran a marathon with a hundred pound weight vest on.
I just kept telling myself 17 months ago,
you said we're going to do this, don't make yourself have to go to another marathon to get
this record. Not exactly sure what I'm going to do next, but I've got a couple of ideas I'm kicking
around right now. We're talking to Amy because she's run a marathon before. Yeah. And you said,
why would he do that? Yeah, because I couldn't have carried anything. One old man, probably 80,
I don't know, 80 ran the marathon that I ran and he carried an American flag the entire time and he beat me.
So all the things. It was like all the things. Like I was.
super slow. Hey William.
Yeah. William is the guy
that ran the marathon with 100 pounds.
Oh my gosh, William. Why'd you do that?
So it was
a bet over a couple of
cocktails 17 months ago
that had to turn to reality.
Wait, so you made a bed at a bar
and that's why you did that?
Yeah, and then we decided to do it to raise a bunch
of money. Oh, now we're talking.
Yeah, there's got. Tell me more, William.
So, yes, we were able to successfully raise
well over $10,000 to
help veterans.
How about that?
So, yeah, so it's huge, super success.
Amazing.
Well, shout out to you.
That's impressive.
Thank you guys.
Thanks for the shout-out this morning.
I really appreciate it.
It helps us raise more awareness to raise more money to help more vets.
Give me a link or something here.
I mean, let's not waste our time.
Let's get people moving here.
Yeah, so if you go to H-O-A-H-N-C-Rg.
And that H-O-A-H-N-C-Rew-E-N-C-Rug.
And that H-H-A-H-H-H-H-E-Ros.
So it's a nonprofit where none of the board people are ever paid all the way up to the national president.
So they're able to return all the money back to the veterans where it belongs.
Oh, that's amazing.
So it's spelled, H-O-O-A-H-I-N-C dot ORG.
Okay, so hoo-A-Nc.org.
Yeah.
How about that, William?
You know what?
You get it.
How about that?
Hold on.
How about that?
How about that?
How about dad?
How about dad?
Man.
Oh, I love it, man.
Hey, where do you live in Wisconsin?
I live in Green Bay, Packer City.
How in the world did you hear us talking about that?
Somebody call you?
What's that?
How'd you hear us talking about that?
One of my buddies who lives down in the Nashville area,
texting me right away this morning.
He's like, you won't believe they're playing your clip down here
about you're not wanting to run another marathon.
Did you train for the 100-mile run or did you just throw it on?
No, so I trained for the last 17 months forward.
17 months ago, I put it on the first time.
I went a quarter mile and I was like, this is so stupid.
I don't know how any human being ever did this.
And then I took it off and like two weeks later I told myself,
no, you said you were going to do this, be a man of your work,
go raise a whole bunch of money, help a lot of people and get it done.
So it took 17 months to get me to a point where I could actually break the record.
How about those legs though?
They pretty ripped or what?
They're toast right now.
My feet are the worst.
But I'm talking about like your calves
Are they so sculpted right now?
Be honest
Yeah, they're tone
That's what I need to do
That's what I need to do
No, you don't need to do it
No
He's just hurt in his feet or like a wreck right now
But I have such bird legs
William, how are your legs before the race
Are they pretty bird leggy or no
No no
They were real rock solid normal
Like what I thought good looking legs I guess
Oh come on
Yeah, I like this guy
All right
Hey William congratulations my friend
and great work, great effort.
Man, I like that. Thanks for calling.
Thank you. Thanks for having me on. I really appreciate it.
You're welcome, bud. And how about that?
How about that?
Yeah.
I feel like we got, and that is the rest of the story.
Yeah. Yeah.
We got like the inside scoop fare.
And for anyone under 70, you won't get that reference.
Oh.
We laid out our options for our next will at Uber.
And the options were a dog, just to see if the person would pick up the
dog and take it to a location.
But what scared me was, what if the dog bites somebody?
And then I thought, let's just get a dog from the Humane Association and then highlight it and
get it adopted, but still if it bites somebody, we get in trouble.
Okay.
We could put it in a muzzle.
Oh.
What's the fun of that, though?
You're sterilizing the whole segment if there's no risk.
Oh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Also, someone blindfolded and tied up.
I like that a lot.
Yeah, would you please?
Yeah, would you please take this person to Main Street?
Like, that was an option.
Hey, what do you think about that one, Anna?
Well, I'm currently an Uber driver,
and I honestly think it would be hilarious if I had picked someone up who is
while I'm fully in chide up.
But would you do it?
Would you be, like, you know, a collaborator?
Oh, right.
You know, if there's a crime happening and you're now involved.
I would have some thoughts in the back of my head, but I totally do it.
And what if the tape on their mouth just had them going,
Mm.
Would you remove the tape?
Help, well, basically.
Well, I'm also an EMT, so if they went unconscious, I'd be able to bring back to life.
Oh, boy, they scare me.
Man, I want you as my Uber driver.
I know, yeah.
Hey, Stephanie and Alabama, one of our options, too, was to dress them up as a prisoner.
Like, they'd escape from prison and they have handcuffs on?
What do you think about that?
Well, the prisoner or the tape over the mouth kind of thing, I would do that one, but I also done that around here.
And I had the cops called on me.
Wait, what?
You did it?
A bunch of my friends and I, we were driving around town, and we thought it would be a great idea to do that.
To do what?
We put our friend with tape over his mouth and tape around his arms, and we drove around in front of it, like a gas station.
And he played it to the tea.
He was really good.
He was trying to scream and stuff and trying to get out of the truck.
And when we left, and the next thing I know, when we come back around, we had undone it and everything, and the cops were there.
Amy loves that.
She does.
Because I just never thought of doing something like that for fun with my friends.
And it's also really dangerous, but...
Well, Pam in Massachusetts is a lawyer, right, Pam?
Oh, great.
I am.
I'm a retired lawyer, but I was a lawyer in two states.
So you hear us talking about these options for Ubering things.
What do you think?
Oh, my God.
You have to do the dog.
The other two are not only risky, but totally illegal.
And this is why I tell my kids they can't take Uber rides.
They can't believe you have Uber drivers.
I'm saying they would do it.
And if one suffocates, they'll get, they have EMT training.
It's like, what is that?
Wait, but I think you're missing the point here.
Is it illegal to dress up?
It's an escape convict?
Escape convict is illegal to transport and escape.
No, but it's only going to dress up.
It's like Halloween.
Like Halloween.
Costumes.
Yeah, but how does the person know?
The Uber driver doesn't know.
That's the point of the bit.
That's funny, Pam.
It's like, now the bit is like,
Will Uber driver call the cops?
Will we get arrested?
Do love dogs more than anything.
I do love dogs.
No, dogs not going to bite anyone.
They want a new life.
Put it in the Uber thing.
That's not true.
Listen, I got to think about these.
These are my three options.
Go ahead.
And by the way, I would pay money just to listen to Amy laugh like that every day.
Well, that's why we should do these bits where we take.
Oh, my God.
I laugh.
Darling, thank you so much for all of you.
guys. I wanted to see you Bobby in Boston, but you sold out in seconds.
Yeah. We all love you here.
Thank you very much. And thank you for your legal advice. Do I owe you anything?
No, I'm not allowed to take a fee. Come on.
Okay. All right, Pam. Thank you for a lot.
since you couldn't get tickets to the Boston show and Tampa and Charleston, South Carolina coming up,
Bobby Bonescom. I don't know that we're any closer to where we were a minute ago.
Hey, Jordan and St. Louis.
Yes.
You want to help out?
Yeah.
What you want us to do?
I want you guys to pretend drop Eddie in a black suit and then put lunchbox handcuffed with a black bag over his heads like El Chapo.
What on earth?
They're going to think I am El Chapo.
That's too real.
Wait.
What?
Hold on.
Now we're like, now we're like narcos.
You know what I'm speaking Spanish too?
I'm back to the dog.
Derek
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Take my friend El Chapo
To the convenience store
Down Street
But he's somebody important
That's in under
Like you're a DEA agent
And he's gonna go to jail
So you want the cop
And the criminal
Being transported by a will at Uber
Because that's how they do things
Please take us to the courthouse
Hey, you never know
The Uber driver might be like
Oh my gosh, you'll never guess
Where I drove today
We'll probably be scared out of his mind
And quiet the whole ride
Yeah, because he wants to mess with Al Chapo.
Oh, no.
Anything we think is this funny we shouldn't do, right?
Like that's the real?
It's time for the good news.
With Amy.
Tell me something good.
So a yard was getting mowed with a lawnmower, and it ran over a drain pipe, leaving a big hole.
And then a curious puppy that lives in that backyard that's only five weeks old, fell in the hole.
Oh, no.
It was 20 feet underground.
And they didn't know how to get him out.
They couldn't rescue him.
So they called the fire department in Missouri, the Ferguson fire department, and they responded
and were able to rescue the five-week-old puppy with a rope.
And then in the video, you just see the rope going down and then they attach it somehow
and then they pulled the little puppy out.
Wow, it's like fishing.
Yeah, basically down a drain pipe.
They just got a puppy.
Yeah, it really is super cute.
And a little boy owns the dog and he got to watch the whole thing go down.
I mean, how cool if you're a little boy.
I mean, it's scary for a minute.
But then the fire department shows up at your house and rescues your puppy.
It's legit.
Dang.
All right, there you go.
Mr. Bobby Bones.
Lick Erica.
Over the weekend, I'm having a pool party.
It's weird for me because I don't have parties.
But, man, let's do this.
Yeah.
Oh.
Yeah.
What I get it.
Yeah.
Anything about that, huh?
This is the kind of music you're going to be playing there?
I'm not.
I got a DJ.
Wow.
It's going to be amazing.
So right now there are 19 people invited.
I think I'm cutting it off at 30.
That's just too much.
It's a lot.
It gets to be expensive.
So I like to talk to somebody now and actually invite them to the party.
The next invitation.
We ready?
I'm right here.
That's right.
Do you know how I'm inviting it?
I have no idea.
Well, they're on.
I'm talking to them right now.
Yeah.
Hi.
Hello.
So I'm inviting our friend Megan Bordman.
Hi, Megan.
What up?
Hey, guys.
Really?
Yeah.
Really?
What?
Megan Bordman on the phone.
And she has some legit floats for the pool.
That's right.
Good morning, Megan.
Hey, guys.
Good morning.
I heard you have a float with like a bull on it or something.
It's a mechanical bull float.
Yeah, it's like a bull and you blow it up and everyone gets around it and you shake it.
So it's like you're riding a bull.
Come on.
How do I not invite this?
This is awesome.
Can we borrow it and not invite Megan Bordman?
No, no.
Megan Borman's coming.
Yes.
So Megan Borman, I'm extending an invitation.
Would you like to come?
I would be honored
There we go
I'm blue
What
Hey
I mean some random girl
You call up and invite her to the pool party
It's like one of Amy's closest friends
One of my friends
So you're not even
Your closest friends
Yeah yeah
We were friends
I met her through Bobby
That's right
All right
Whatever dude
Megan will see it at the pool party
Thanks guys see you there
All right bye
There you go
You're doing this just in mega's mouth
I know you are
I will not fall for it
Yeah, what?
I'm not mad
Well, good
I'm just waiting
Whenever you're ready
What else do I need?
I don't know how to have a party
I'd never had a party in my life
Drinks
Okay, so I have to go buy alcohol
Margarita machine
No normal drinks too
Like waters
And ice and
Okay
Yeah
Yeah
Because not everyone's gonna have alcohol
I don't drink so I'm
I know exactly
So you need like
So waters and have to buy alcohol
Yeah
Maybe since sparkling
Can everybody bring something though?
Yes
Absolutely
Yes that is 100
percent a thing. That's not like a cool party
or anything. Oh, it's no.
What's a cool party? Where you just show up
and everything's there. Oh, oh, is there a theme, like a
white part? Like, should we wear a certain color?
Thongs. The theme is thongs.
What? Everybody in thongs.
Especially me. Oh, gosh. Okay.
Well, so Amy's coming.
I'm looking at it. Ryan Hurts coming. I talk to him.
That's awesome.
Yeah. It's very cool. Let's see.
Gator.
his family, his cousins
Wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on.
So everyone in the room, everyone here,
except Eddie and Lunchbox.
Yeah, and some girl named Megan.
No, Megan's coming.
No, that's what I'm saying.
No, I know.
And Ahmad, he already said Amad.
Oh, yeah.
Mazzat.
Yeah.
He's like lying in.
And we're not even by it.
I didn't fly anyone and he paid for his own ticket.
I said, hey, over the weekend
we're having a pool party.
Someone out of town.
Yep.
Who, yeah.
I'm my friend from Austin.
Oh, what about your, um, boxing trainer?
He's coming.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, Jared, too.
Jared.
Yeah, he's going.
How many does he get plus three?
Yeah, because he has a wife and a kid.
It's.
Whatever, that's more spots.
Getting closer to that 30 cutoff, huh, boys?
Well, what you're offering, Eddie?
Don't forget, man.
I have a plus three and lunchbox has a plus one.
Like, don't get too crazy.
You're getting that 30 point.
Like, we're here.
I wonder, like, who can I invite this?
It's really cool.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Lunchbox.
Keith and Nicole.
Yeah, I thought you were doing that.
I mean, I can't really, I'm thinking to text them.
Extend the invite.
You know what happened?
I sent Jillian Jacqueline because I know her and her fiance.
Yes.
And I said, hey, you guys should come.
We're having a party.
And she's like, oh, she goes, I'll be there.
I'll have some stuff tomorrow.
And I was like, it's not tomorrow.
No.
She thought it was the next day.
Yeah, she was going to show up.
Ready to go.
So anyway, there we go.
Let's see.
Do I take a call or play a song?
Take a call.
All right.
Hello, Hunter and Austin.
What's up, buddy?
Hey, what's up, Bobby?
How are you doing, man?
I'm doing great.
How are all y'all, Amy?
What's up?
Doing good.
Hey, lunch.
What up?
Oh, yo, you're a man, lunch.
You're a man.
I agree.
All right, Bobby, sorry for interrupting you.
No, what you got?
I went to the show on Friday.
My girlfriend surprised me with opera box tickets.
Oh, to my stand-up
comedy show.
Yes, at the Paramount.
It doesn't get more baller than sitting in an opera box, you know?
I never said an opera box before.
Me neither, and we're not high-class people, but we just, you know, she knows some people
who knows some people and just blessed.
Do you have fun at the show?
Yeah, I toss my phone down to you.
You put me in your Instagram.
I was like, what?
I'm famous.
People were asking.
You're like, yo, I get the guy from the show, and I'm like, yeah, please, please.
I'm just a normal guy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, just a normal guy, living life.
Wait, you had someone throw you their phone from the opera box?
If I remember correctly, listen, if there's one thing I'm about, it's the people.
Yeah, I know.
And I believe, Hunter, if I'm right, you said, hey, well, you catch my phone, and you threw it to me, and I caught it and I caught it and I caught it.
Yeah, I wasn't just going to throw it out here.
Yeah, it's very unsafe, but that's what I do for my people.
Yeah, I'm glad you caught it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, Hunter, I'm good to see it.
I'm glad you got famous.
Yeah, just for a little bit.
Can I also, hey, lunchbox, I'm Miss Butler's son.
The lunchbox used to slap my mom's butt all the time.
Oh, my gosh.
There you go.
This is like a full circle moment right now.
What does your mom say about lunchbox?
She loves, we have a picture.
There's a picture of me and my brother's on the fridge,
and there's a picture of my mom and lunchbox on the fridge.
That's right.
I'm telling you guys.
I was awesome and the teacher loved me.
It was such a fun time in second grade.
Wow.
In second grade.
He slapped her butt.
Hunter, thank you for the call.
Thanks for coming, buddy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thank you.
See, Bob.
There he is.
Hunter.
I wasn't expecting that tidbit.
Miss Butler's son?
Yeah, Miss Butler's son.
A little nugget.
A 70-year-old woman claims she's pregnant.
It's going to become the world's oldest woman to have a baby.
She has shown reporters ultrasound scans to confirm her pregnancy.
The mother did not reveal if she'd gone through any fertility treatments.
What?
How about that?
70.
Imagine you're some old dude, and you're making love this lady, right?
Why are we imagining this?
Why do we know that?
You think you're free and clear, right?
She's 70.
You'd probably just, you know, having a time of your life.
No worries.
You get a call from Gertrude, right, on line 7?
Why is your name that to be Gertrude?
Hey, it's me, Gertie.
I got some news.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, what's up, Gertie?
I'm having a baby.
And it's yours.
And it's yours.
If this 70-year-old calls and says that, I'm going to Moripovich immediately.
Yeah.
How about that, huh?
Currently, the oldest verified mother in the world is 66 years and 358 days.
Okay.
You always say, like, having a baby.
It's not a miracle because...
A miracle.
A miracle because it happens every...
No, no, my point is something that happens all the time is not a miracle.
Not just the baby thing.
But if it happens every day, it's not a miracle.
Now it can be a miracle in your life if the odds are against you.
Meaning, let's say they tell Amy you're not having a baby.
And then I get pregnant.
And then she gets pregnant.
Miracle.
Because of the situation, it's miracle-esque.
Now, is this a miracle?
Oh, yeah.
Because it doesn't happen.
The odds are so sacked against it.
Yeah.
It's like if my dad's girlfriend got pregnant right now, I'd be like, what?
I'm going to need some money.
Because you know she'd call off money if you got pregnant.
If all Walter's out there slinging it, then she's got to be there.
Slinging it.
Oh, my goodness.
How do we know the father's old?
I mean, you know what?
You know what?
You're right, Amy.
We don't know.
We don't know.
I were just assuming.
Yeah, we're just assuming there.
But yeah, I saw that.
You know what else I want to talk about?
So I was backstage at American Idol, and this dude walks on my dress.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know.
We were all just hanging out watching TV, like four of us.
And he steps in and he's kind of an older, older gentleman, like Walter that I described.
Okay.
And he goes, you that famous radio guy?
And I go, uh...
Well, yeah.
Yeah?
And he goes, so you're Seacrest?
And I said, no.
I didn't know what was happening.
I thought it was the worst comedy bit in history because, one, I don't, I'm not really a famous radio guy.
Two, I'm not Ryan.
And he would say...
He walks out.
Then all this, just disappeared.
So all of a sudden we look on screen, and he pops up on American Idol with Steve Perry from Journey.
Oh, wow.
And he thought you were Ryan Sechrist?
I don't know what he thought.
First of all, he just comes walking in.
He looks like Wayne Newton.
Really?
Yeah, a bit.
And then he's in, and it's like, hey, and I didn't know who he was.
But yeah, then he pops up on Idol because Gabby was singing a Journey song.
But he doesn't sing for Journey anymore.
He doesn't sing her anymore.
But he is on the song.
song.
It's quite peculiar, right?
People were asking if Katie Perry and I weren't
getting along. Because
I said on American Idol that I think the judges were
right about this one particular statement
they had said. And she,
as they say, clapped at me
after the break. And so then
afterward, we were taking pictures. And you can
see on my Instagram of the picture of us together.
It's a pretty intimate picture if you asked me.
But she came over and was like, oh, we're in a Twitter fight.
And I was like, man, I wish.
That'd be awesome for me. And then we
talk for a little bit, but there was nothing bad.
Okay.
She may have been angry with me for a second.
Taylor Swift-level feud?
With Katie Perry?
Yeah.
I think they're over it, though.
I know they're over it.
That's what I'm saying, but y'all could feud and then y'all can make up.
She'll send you a legit olive branch like she did with Taylor.
I didn't steal a background dancer.
I'm not even sure what's happening with that situation.
Who stole whose background dancer?
A shark. Somebody stole someone's shark.
I think we're just assigning.
The left one.
The left shark.
I think we're just making stuff up at this point.
Regardless, Taylor and Katie were fighting, and Katie, we're fighting.
and Katie sent Taylor like a package.
No, no, I saw that.
I just don't know what they were fighting about
as far as the background dancer.
Like, who stole who.
Probably John Mayer.
I don't know.
See, here we go again.
No, there was definitely a backup dancer involved.
There was definitely a backup dancer involved.
The dancer went to work, worked for Taylor forever,
and then I think went to work for Katie.
After I got off Idol, I did the thing that you should never do is Twitter search yourself.
Bruttle.
Oh, does.
see what people are saying about you? On me, brutal, yeah.
One, all the Katie Perry people were just
hating on me hard. Really? Like, don't
ever mess with our queen.
What? What? What? Yeah.
And then two, it was
He stomped on her ant pile. They were all mad.
They were mad. And then two, it was
a lot of people going, who is this Bobby guy?
Some people were like, he looks like a Simpsons character. And I was like,
what does that mean? Simpsons.
Yeah. That's interesting.
Yeah. So, how long were you doing that? Don't
That thing would be scary and dangerous
And it never bothers me really
Because people are always writing about what I'm saying
If I say something ridiculous, I'm cool with the backlash
For the most part
But I didn't do anything except try to mentor some kids
They were bashing me, they were like
I don't brought in this no name
This is who they
And they had a point
But I didn't like to see it
You should just reply, yeah, no name for now
I didn't reply
I didn't reply, yeah
But I wanted to be like
We all started as a no name at some point
But then I cried
So whenever Yanny and Laurel was happening and everyone was, what do you hear?
There's another one.
It's either brainstorm or green or green needle.
What?
Yeah.
Okay.
So I don't know what you guys are going to hear.
You're either going to hear brainstorm or green needle.
Now, write it down because I don't want anyone jumping on any sort of bandwagon or messing with me.
Brainstorm or green needle.
Here you go.
Oh, wow.
Cool.
What?
Did you hear that?
I heard it.
They put on a bunch of audio at the beginning they shouldn't have.
But at the end it goes, can you cut that down towards just that word?
Oh, yeah, I thought, oh no.
No, it was confusing.
I'm like, I don't hear anything.
So I'm part of a different category.
No, it's at the end here.
Okay, do you hear that?
Okay, listen again.
What do you, do you hear it?
Yeah, I got it.
Okay, hold on.
On the counter three, say what you hear, hold on.
Ready?
Yep.
One, two, three.
Brainstorm.
Wait, who said brainstorm?
Me.
You hear brainstorm?
Yeah.
It's so, it's clear as day.
Storm, the storm part, because I could see how green and brains sound the same, but not needle.
It's so easy.
Play it again.
Green needle.
Oh, I hear green needle.
Green needle.
So clear.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You really hear a brainstorm?
Yeah.
Hold on.
Green needle.
Green needle.
I don't hear a brainstorm.
That's how it does it.
That's how he hears it.
Wow.
Isn't it wild, though, that someone, that was my whole thing with what we see, too.
You can see something.
You guys all hear.
Green Needle.
If we all hear Green Needle and he's the only one that hears Brainstorm, what does this tell us?
Do you think we've all gotten together?
Yes.
I think you emailed each other and said, hey, let's make lunch look stupid.
No.
And we'll all say, what, Green Needle.
I don't think it makes you look stupid.
Why do you think everybody's always trying to do things to make it look stupid?
I think you just have a difference of opinion.
Because she tried, Amy just tried to make it sound like I was stupid for hearing brain strokes.
No, I said, what does that mean?
Because the other one was a frequency.
Here we go.
Green Needle.
Green Needle.
100%.
store.
Do you see the guy that peed on this flight?
I saw a headline.
She says her flight turned into a nightmare.
She snapped this photo of him slouching in his seat and then snapped this.
Starts to pee and urinate on the seat in front of them.
We've blurred the picture, but it shows a stream of urine hitting the back of the seat.
And I scream, he's peeing, oh my God, oh my God.
And the flight attendant doesn't even acknowledge him first, acknowledge
me and says, you need to calm down and stop cursing.
She was moved.
Her bag fees were waived and she was given a $200 voucher.
But she says Frontier needed to do more.
Frontier Airlines passenger arrested after peeing on seat in front of, he had to be so drunk.
So.
He's making the rest of us look bad.
Like all these stories is going to make the airline stop serving alcohol because people can't control themselves.
And the rest of us that like to have a drink or two on the plane, we're going to be in trouble now.
So over at my house once, there were like seven or so guys.
And we had a poker night.
And Eddie drank so much, right?
Not on an airplane.
No, it was at the house.
So Eddie goes back to his house.
Somebody drives him home, drops him off.
He goes in, he goes upstairs.
And he thinks that his bedroom is his bathroom.
And he just pees in the corner of his bedroom.
I was asleep.
I was asleep.
Like, I don't remember anything except my wife yelling at me, Eddie, Eddie!
and I like wake up and I'm peeing in my bedroom on the carpet.
I hear nothing but just pee on the carpet.
Ew.
That was a bad time.
Once in college, because I was a nerd, you know, and I would study, then I work all night.
I'd go back to my dorm and someone opened my door.
I guess I'd left it unlocked or my roommate had left it unlocked.
And so he comes in and just starts peeing in my recliner.
It's so gross.
All I hear is liquid on fabric.
It's a very, it's a very, it's a very, it's.
And it's a tiny dorm room.
And I hear, that sound of just a stream on fabric.
And I'm like, Evan, what?
What's happening?
And some dude, I don't even know it was,
is just sprawled out, just letting her rip, just peeing.
And I'm like, hey man, hey man, hey man, hey man, it freaked me out.
And so I started yelling at him.
He's so just obliterated.
He's like, huh?
Just zips up, walks out of the room.
Didn't know him.
Lived on my floor.
Saw him the next day.
I said, dude, you put him.
peed in my chair.
And so...
Was he like I did?
Well, what do he say?
He was receptive to it.
Oh, okay.
He was like, oh, I was so wasted.
My bad, man.
He thinks I think I went in the wrong door to the bathroom.
Oh, yeah.
So he peed in the chair, and then he had it cleaned.
And then I was like, I don't know if I can just settle with that.
So why don't we get me a new chair?
So he bought me a new chair.
That's nice.
But then I kept the old one that I cleaned.
I was broke, man.
So I had two chairs.
That's nice of him.
No, no, no.
He peed in the chair.
That wasn't nice of him.
That's what he should have done that.
Yes, yes, yes.
But I can still remember as clear as day
that sound of him just peeing on that fabric.
He's going, what's happening?
What?
What?
Elevator quickly, man.
Zach Massey's in who shoots a bunch of stuff, like photographer.
And Lunchbox and Eddie are mad
because Zach Massey got invited to the pool party.
Hey, Zach, hop over to a microphone.
Did you feel like these guys are hating on you for no reason?
Yeah, I mean, I've been, I would like listen to like the pre-show
post show the other day.
And like, I was getting such a hard time from lunchbox.
That's not fair, man.
I've always been nice to you.
You're a friend, too.
They keep going, the photographer.
You're a friend.
Like, kind of degrading a little bit.
No, no, no, I didn't degrade him at all.
I just said that who is more important?
Me or Zach Massey?
Me, so I think I should be invited first.
But if you want to save the best to last, that's fine.
You want to get the scrubs out of the way in the beginning.
See, there's no reason to call your scrub.
Mom, Zach, I'm sorry you had to go through that.
It's okay.
At least I know you're a friend.
Zach's out living his personal life trying to live.
Yeah, but Zach, did he think it was.
Did you think, Zach, do you think it was strange a little bit, though, that he invited you
before us?
No, I'm just excited.
I got invited.
There you go.
Oh, you didn't think about the fact that he skipped us.
You're obviously not thinking about me, so I'm not going to think about you.
Okay.
Okay.
Well, well, well, there we have it.
By the way, Eddie gave me such a hard time this weekend.
He saw me like a picture from Candace Cameron, Boree.
Dude, I, L-O-L.L.
Because you know when you, you like, go through people's profiles or whatever.
If you follow them, you see the likes.
Yes.
Just sometimes random.
people like random stuff.
But this one wasn't random.
Mr. Bobby Bones liked a lot of her pictures.
I'm trying to be her friend.
I was like, dude, chill, chill, chill.
I like three of her pictures.
I don't like many pictures.
I was about to say, you don't really, I don't.
I don't even think about that.
And it was a picture of, I think, her son going to prom.
I'm like, come on, dude.
Bobby's like, beautiful picture.
No, I didn't comment, but I didn't like it.
Okay, but be real.
Do you comment on hers?
No.
Well, that's how you're going to get to be her friend.
You got to get into the DM.
Amy, I like to slide in slow.
I mean.
So I, no, I just, you know, I liked a couple pictures.
She liked one of mine.
Oh.
Yeah.
Oh, you guys are doing the like thing right now.
But she's DJ Tanner.
That's the start of a friendship right there.
Right.
And so Eddie took a screenshot and sent it to me laughing at me.
I put a little arrow on his profile name.
I'm like, dude, be chill.
By the way, speaking to Eddie and lunchbox and the drama,
what happened with the McDonald's remote that everybody's talking about?
Oh, this great.
I don't know what happened, but they asked if we were available for remote,
I said, yeah, and then they said, oh, we'll just take Eddie.
Just like that.
How is Eddie getting appearances over me?
I don't understand what's going on around this building, this show.
None of us.
I didn't recommend that.
No, I know.
That's what I'm saying.
I don't understand what's going on.
There's something in the water or something, but.
No one knew what was happening.
They just told us both to just block our calendars for that time.
And then, I guess, last minute, they decided to go with me.
Why do you think that?
Well, I think it's easy, obviously.
I mean, lunchbox just makes people mad.
He just rubs people the wrong way.
I don't know what it is.
So you think you're more palatable.
Yeah, like I like these people.
We keep in touch.
You're the McDonald's people?
Yeah.
We keep in touch and they're nice.
And I just don't think lunchbox.
Lunchbox doesn't care to remember anyone's name.
Doesn't care to remember who anyone is.
He just kind of, I'm lunchbox.
You know me?
I don't care about you.
But people do know them.
I know.
Yeah, and I do remember people's names.
It's just I meet a lot of people so I can't remember everybody's name.
It's hard.
Like, it's hard to remember everybody.
Is this a real thing?
No, it's a real thing.
Yeah, it's a real deal.
No, I knew this was submitted to both of you.
I couldn't believe it.
I was in shock.
They legitimately picked Eddie over me.
Like, more people.
I love it.
I'm blown away by that.
Thank you.
I know what I am.
I mean, I don't know what's going on, but, hey, if they want to have Eddie and no one show
up, that's fine.
Oh, you don't have to go with a dig.
That's not a dig at you.
Yes, it is.
That's a direct dig.
That's an absolute dig at him.
No, guys.
If they want to hire him.
and hire somebody, sucky.
Why don't you do that?
That wasn't a dig.
I just was in shock.
When's this remote?
It's Friday.
It's this weekend.
It is?
Yeah, it's Friday.
Wow, so listeners can just come out and meet you?
Yes, they come out, hang out.
Well, I'll probably buy them a burger or two.
Wow.
When is it?
Friday at 11 a.m.
Where do you know yet?
Yeah, it's an Antioch.
Okay.
Antioch, Tennessee.
And you're going to buy it with your own money?
Yeah, I'll buy him.
So are you rooting against him?
Yeah, well, see, here's the thing.
Because he does get gift cards to buy people,
meal so he's not using when he says I'm gonna buy it don't you do that all the time I know but I just
asked with your own money he said yes so we need to make sure he's spending his own money I don't
care no if you're gonna present something say you're you're gonna buy it like when people
come to the bar I bought drinks I bought him with my own money but bones what do you suggest like
obviously he's right something isn't like something's up like why do why they don't want him to
show up or do the remote I'm a little shocked at that so I don't know so do you have any
suggestions for lunchbox?
I just feel like he just sits there and he hates
on it. I didn't do anything, dude. They picked me
and he just hates on it. So for him to like dig in to figure out why
and so maybe he can get his own
remotes? Yeah. I think that
he could cultivate relationships and business
a little better because he doesn't do that in general.
But I don't.
And that stems from the I'm lunchbox.
You should know me. I don't need to know you.
But still, he is a bigger deal than you.
I get that. I get that.
I know that's rude to me to say.
No, but no, as far as like.
That's not a deal.
As far as...
True.
But roles on this show, yes, he's a bigger deal than me.
That's what I mean.
I accept that.
Not in human life, we're all equal.
But if they choose me to do the remote...
I mean, dude, that's pretty cool.
It is good for you.
I love that.
That's good on you, buddy.
Just don't hate on me.
I didn't hate on you.
Be happy for each other, you know?
Like an American Idol, they were happy for each other.
Not really.
They dated.
They are dating.
They got trouble for exposing them too early.
But they don't really...
They're not really happy for each other.
When you lose, you're not as happy as you would be if you won.
But you can still be happy for someone.
You don't have to be as happy.
Be happy for me.
Yeah, just be like, Eddie, thank you for.
Eddie, thank you for.
Good luck, good luck.
Good luck.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm losing stuff over here because of age to younger people on the show.
And I'm happy for them.
Like, I'm not bitter about it.
I'm happy.
I'm like, okay.
Morgan number two, how are you doing over there?
I'm doing good.
Yeah.
Just listening to all.
Her microphone works.
Amy, you never think like, hey, you know what.
Now, I have to face the fact that, well, I mean, I figured out why I didn't get it.
I mean, if I was on trips, I'd be curious too and figured out.
And I can't take offense to the fact if the client wants someone younger to speak to the younger audience, that's totally fine.
I can't argue that.
And why wouldn't I be happy for Morgan?
There was a time when I came on and I was 24.
Those were the days, you know?
Now I'm 37.
I have to own that.
Now I'm going to own the older market.
Like, what can I sell?
That's out there.
I just have to find where I am and be happy for where I was.
And you learn to accept that Morgan number two's role.
You're like, okay, now I'll accept that she.
But at first, when you found out she got it, you're like, what?
Why is she getting it?
You get a little angry.
And that's how I got.
But I will grow to accept it.
You're speaking for me now.
I didn't get angry.
Thank you, everyone.
Everybody called?
Are we good?
No, we're good, man.
All right, good.
Here's Amy's pile of stories.
The Megan Markle Effect has officially hit plastic surgeons offices.
They're reporting an uptick and people
requesting procedures to look like Megan, you know, the woman that just married Prince Harry.
That never works to go in and try to look like somebody else.
Well, they're asking to get her nose and her lips to be specific.
I guess they saw her on TV.
They saw her up close to the royal wedding and they're like, oh, maybe I could marry a prince
too if I get her cute little nose and her lips.
Yeah.
I don't know.
It's not a nose or a lip away.
But it's always weird when someone goes in to request somebody else.
And also, we can tell.
for the most part.
Like, if you're getting the injections or you're getting,
we can tell.
We can tell.
Okay, what else?
A 10-year-old Labador named Fred
has become a father to nine baby birds,
and it's amazing.
Their mother disappeared, which is sad.
But that's okay.
The ducklings have been following Fred around,
and they even line up on his back,
and it's the cutest thing you've ever seen in the world.
And the fact that Fred is like taking care of,
it's like little ducklings lined up on his back.
You've got to see.
Check it out.
Google it if you don't know what I'm talking about.
Oh, yeah, this dog has got a bunch of ducks on his back.
Better yet, we'll just.
put it up at bobbybones.com. That's where you can
check out my pile sometimes if you miss it. Yeah, that'd be better than Googling
it. I know, I know, I know. Well, we do put the pile up, so check it out there. And then
bar crawls with alcohol
are definitely a thing, but something that's rising in popularity is
juice crawls.
That sounds right up, lunchbox, Zalley.
I am totally into this. So instead
of going from pub to pub, they go from juice bar to juice bar
and drink juice, and they even do little workouts
along the way. And it's all about
your friends, but not getting wasted.
Nobody is doing that.
Yeah, they are.
You say, oh, this is a thing.
Two people may do it, maybe did it and put it on their little site, but no one is really doing that.
No, juice crawls.
Hey, let's go to Vegas and do a juice crawl, man.
Google it.
All right, there you go.
Yeah, maybe that's my pile.
That was Amy's pile of stories.
Bobby phones.
The Bobby Bones Show.
What's America's favorite lunch food, Amy?
Man, lunch?
Pizza?
Peperoni pizza.
Yeah.
Would anyone else guess that for lunch?
Yeah, absolutely.
For lunch?
Dinner and everything.
Breakfast?
Oh, all meals?
Maybe not breakfast.
I'm probably going to eat some pepperoni pizza at the full party.
Okay.
That I'm throwing because...
I'll bring some vegan once.
You don't worry about that.
I got you covered.
No, no, I like that vegan pizza you had at your party.
Oh, okay.
I can bring it.
If it's time for me to let go.
Oh, you're going to really, like, if you go big and go.
Oh, strap on the bag.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So there's that.
Okay.
That's what I plan on doing.
I'm going to order a bunch of pizzas.
And I think Eddie's, you know,
Been talking to me about if he, you know, ends up coming.
If I do go.
If I get invited.
He's going to do a little, he's going to be the cook.
So pizza and barbecue.
But the pizza I'll take care of.
Okay.
If you come, maybe you're the head chef.
Okay.
But that's a lot of responsibility.
That's if I come, if I'm invited.
That's a lot of responsibility.
Oh, I'm ready for it.
And then you have a lot of people who don't know, like if it's like, ooh, the food's just okay.
You're kind of like forever the guy.
That food was just a thing.
Yeah.
Wow.
It's a lot of pressure.
Yeah.
That's what I'm saying.
Dang.
Well, we're going to go.
Anything happening today, Amy?
Let me think about it.
No.
Lunchbox?
Uh, no.
What about you?
Probably lots.
Yeah, lots.
I'm only in town for two days, so I have to cram everything in two days.
So, yes.
Oh, I'm in a, I'm meeting up with you later, right?
Yeah.
Tonight.
What are you guys doing night?
We have no time, so we're recording the countdown for this weekend tonight.
I mean, I have time, but you.
I mean, I'm going, I have like an interesting.
review thing and then I have a magazine shoot I have to do.
And then another thing. But then after that,
I'm driving right over here to the countdown. All this today?
I just, I'm only in town for two days.
We got to get him while he's here. I mean, I got a magazine
shoot. No, I didn't roll my... I don't talk like that.
You posted a picture of your schedule. It looked crazy.
Like it was all covered.
On my answer story? Yeah.
Yeah, but I'm not bragging about that. I was just like,
ooh, this week's a beast. That's the opposite
of my schedule. Oh, yeah?
Mine's all white, blank.
I'm not always going to be like this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come August.
Have a great Tuesday. We'll see you on Wednesday. Thanks for listening.
Buddy bones, y'all.
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