The Bobby Bones Show - BONUS: A Message from Bobby on Get Real with Caroline Hobby: Kristen Brust: Since the moment we met on my hubby’s tour bus it was love at first friendship.

Episode Date: December 16, 2020

Subscribe to Get Real with Caroline HobbyI met Kristen the day she moved to Nashville. She was working for my hubby’s record label and we met on Michael’s bus before a show... It was friendship love at first sight. Kristen is a force. She loves BIG and HARD. She wears her soul on her sleeve and she isn’t scared to be raw and real and really share and bare it. Connecting with others and realizing we are not alone in this life is her mission statement. On this episode we talk a longggg time about the power of manifesting and her tips for getting your mind right. We talk about marriage. She tells me about the dance parties she and Preston (LoCash) have every night with their kids and how they have had to learn the new normal of him being home all the time since touring shut down due to Corona. We talk about loss. She miscarried in between her 2 kids and the ache and love for that child is so strong. I also relate to that ache. We talk about her podcast “In Kristen We Brust,” and why she started it, and what it’s all about. This convo is truly two best girlfriends/wives/mothers living in the music industry, talking about everything in God’s green earth, and recognizing how precious it is to have friendships that fuel your soul, allow you to be vulnerable and seen, and hold your hand while we make our way through this wild, wonderful, crazy life. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Thanks for listening to our show podcast while I have you here. let me recommend a podcast. We weren't live today, so I want you to hear something that maybe you can start to listen to every week or so. I think you'll love Caroline Hobby's podcast called Get Real with Caroline Hobby. Heck, you may hear her come on our show sometimes. She's super funny. She sits downs and talks to a lot of the wives of your favorite country artists. But she also talks to a lot of fascinating women. She has episodes with female entrepreneurs, influencers, and more. She says it's honest women having honest talk. On this episode, she talks to Kristen Brust, the White. of Preston from Locash.

They talk about marriage, how their life has changed. They've been off the road and that he actually gets to be home now. So check it out. If you like it, subscribe. If you don't, hey, nothing lost. Just wanted to give you something new to listen to today. It's called Get Real with Caroline Hobby. Check it out.

Subscribe, search. There you go. Here's the episode now. Before, one when I first was launching, we did like a Mother's Day special with two of my other friends, Audrey and Mary Catherine, and y'all had just had new babies. and it was all about being a new mom. Then you came back on with one of our mutual best friends, Lainey Crowder,

and we had such a great conversation. And now I'm getting you all to myself, just you alone. Kristen Brust. Hello. I'm here. I'm a three-time raining champ. Hey, does that mean, have I been on the most? You're, you are, maybe.

I feel like varsity right now. It feels good. Yeah. I mean, you are definitely. there's a very small handful that's been all as many of you as much as you, if not any. So, I mean, I love it. Welcome back. I'll do my whole life snuggled up on your lap.

So it makes me feel good that we just do a lot of life together here on your podcast. That's fine. I'll come back tomorrow if you want me to. I mean, let's just do all the conversations. So we met right when you first moved to Nashville because, I mean, was I one of the first people that you met on your Nashville journey? You are the first person and I didn't even live in Nashville yet. See, we were destined. Yeah, I was working for a big machine and I had a thousand horses as one of my acts and they

flew me to the Indy 500 for the weekend. And I walked on this bus and I was like, who is this soul in front of me? She is stunning. You had the biggest smile on your face and I was like, this amazing human being. And you're like, hey, I'm Caroline. And I was like, she's for sure going to hate me. You know, when you think that pretty girls are always going to be, like, awful? Like, it was back in those days for me where I was like, oh, she's too pretty to be nice too.

She's for sure. I mean, you're like so pretty. I'm definitely lacking on that these days since COVID's it. Listen, we've all gained, as Lainty Crowder says, the COVID-19 pounds. Yeah. Anyways, it was like instant love. You were just my person. And we have been like, I mean, you were in the delivery room when my daughter.

was born. That was an amazing moment. Watching love be born and you were just like a champion. When you gave birth, you were so calm the whole experience. It was really, it was really an incredible moment to witness. I mean, obviously it was incredible for you because your child's coming into this world. But to get to witness that was amazing. Yeah, it was just like, it was really neat though to have like the support like you and Andrea both in the room and just feel like I had I'm a big one on energy and I knew just having that kind of like loving, caring, positive energy, it was going to be a rock star day. And now how old is love?

She's going to be five in January. Where does it go? I don't know. It's so fast. And they say that and I feel like I've lived so presently inside of each day with her that I, I feel like it could be five years. But I guess for me, it's just like she's. She's becoming such a little girl now.

Like, I'll get emotional talking about it, but she just is such a person. Her language and her opinions and her designs and everything. She's just a whole human, you know? It's so weird. I love that you said I live so presently in each day with her because I feel like I do that also with Sunny. And I feel like, do you think it's because we were a little bit older when we had children and we wanted them so desperately that it makes you a more present mom because a lot of things that I know some moms rightfully so complain about or hard and like everyone has their own journey and struggles for sure. But like I don't know.

I think because I wanted Sonny so badly and I know that you felt that same way with love, it's like the little the little things that could be stressful don't really stress me out on the whole. I mean, yes, by the end of the day, I need a bath and a bottle of wine. let's be real but full bottle i like how we're just full disclosure i mean i need a bottle of wine and a straw with the bubble bath but in the day when when the living is happening as sunny like i feel that same thing it's very important for me to be present talk to me about that with love and how and why that is for you well i think so i've shared a bit of this um my story throughout the podcast journey on my own podcast but oh which is in christmas. We Brust.

Everyone needs to check it out. It's everywhere you can find podcast. And Kristen, we'll get into that. We'll talk about what your podcast centers around in a little bit. So this wouldn't be new to anyone that's heard this ish. But I grew up in kind of a tumultuous upbringing. So for me,

it's not lost on me. Love and I are two days apart in our birthdays. It's not lost on me that I have this little blonde nugget who I don't project my inner child onto for those therapy people out there. But it's important to me to not get that it's not lost on me. I get this poetic kind of breaking of the cycle, fresh start with her. And I think because I've always, because I didn't grow up in maybe the safest emotionally kind of stable home. It's like her living a really full present life with me is important to me. and she is my fresh start.

She's the cycle break. It is not about me rewriting my story, but it's about me rewriting like, you know, the next generation of like the hearts that we carry in our family, which I think is important. So my theory on parenting is that they're not really ours. They're just borrowed from God

and that we get to steward their walk and that we were the ones responsible for these children that are his children. Again, they're so. So for me, it feels like, and listen, I have a lot of mom fail. So I'm not being like every day I wake up and they have fresh pancakes and I have a ribbon in my hair. But like I do always keep at the center of it at the gravity of like parenting and motherhood in our house is this idea that they are on loan to us from God and that it is our responsibility to do earth or walk wisely.

And it's a privilege to be able to do that. I have a lot of friends who have not had the opportunity to, you know, even to be able to. to be able to conceive a baby. So I don't take it lightly that it's a responsibility, but it's also a privilege that we get to raise children. And I'd like to say in the same breath, living presently is easier for me to do because I'm going to stay at home mom, I feel like. So there's a lot of moms that don't have that option. So I do think it's important that when you get the time with them, you stay as present as you can with them. But I know that not everybody gets every single day from the morning they wake up to the time they go to bed.

And that's a great distinction. And I think to whatever journey you are on as a mom or as just a human in general, just doing the very best you can to be present with your circumstance and trying to find the joy in your circumstance because, hey, this is your life. And you might as well, like try to enjoy it to the, best you can, even if it's not ideal. And I think that I want to talk to you also about make manifesting because I don't think anybody has to stay stuck where they are. I think you may be in a situation that you know you're not happy with or you know isn't living your best life

or you know you have so much more potential or dreams or desires. How would you, because you're so good at manifesting and we talk a lot about manifesting how would you what what would be some first steps you would try to help someone get out of a situation or to manifest or to like move into a new spot if they're not happy with where they are considering even how you said like emotionally growing up you weren't it wasn't necessarily the upbringing that you crave for love and so like you've sort of done that with your own life like how how would you suggest someone start moving in a in another direction if they're not totally happy where they are. I know for me the thing that has helped me the most is I have a

strong faith. Like I'm a I'm a no what is the word I'm looking for? See mom dementia is a real thing. Like I'm just I'm a Jesus girl and I say that unapologetically all the time. So that is helpful for me. There's a piece that surpasses understanding that comes with that that for me is the grounding force. And I don't get commissioned for people being Christians is what I like to say. But if there is like a piece of you that has some curiosity about what a relationship with God is like, I always encourage people to dig a little bit into that because that's usually like the first sign there's more for you and there's a strong relationship, you know, like he's always there waiting. The manifesting piece, so in my brain, I always make God made the universe and the

universe works in my favor. So that's how I can loop it all together, make it make sense. because sometimes people are like, that's a gift from the universe. And I'm like, slash, you know, like, and or the manifesting thing. So this is crazy. And I just shared this with a group of girls that we do like some mentorship stuff with. But it's funny to me that this is like the secret of the secret. But you and I are very familiar with the secret, the book. And it's been out for forever.

Well, I listen to it on audio because I can't sit down and read. And it honestly gets a little repetitive for me. So every time, moms, this might be your hack. Every time I do laundry, I listen to it on audio. And Lord knows we're living in the laundry room. So it seems, I mean, you're getting a lot of secret if you do it that way. But I think the first step is to just really tuning into the words of the secret. I, it's so, they lay it all out there so simply.

and I don't digest well things usually on audio as well because I have kind of like this ADD brain. But because it's laid out so simply and her accent is so fun, listening to it seems to get like do a lot for me. And I think the first step is just really sitting down and getting quiet with yourself. And don't mind my speaking of laundry right on cue. I manifested that. It's a sound effect. I'm missing my manifesting time. Manifesting's calling, guys. You hear it? So I think the first step would be sit down with

yourself and get quiet enough to know and hear what you really want out of life. Your laundry like sings a whole song. It really does. I wish, I kept telling Preston that I wish, my husband, I wish that I could make it be like a song like so fresh and so clean, clean or something. It kind of feels like the manifesting song. It's kind of perfect, really. Yeah. Preston says it sounds like British troops coming over a head. hill, but that's fine. I think if we sit long enough and get quiet enough with ourselves, we know exactly what we want deep down in our soul. That's a good point. Like, you know in your heart what your heart really wants, how your heart really wants you to live

your life. And if you pull away all of the layers of just the noise that the world or your parents or your family or friends or whatever, mean girls in high school, all the things that have put on you deep down. You know, yeah, for sure. It's like there at the core is a person that knows exactly what they want. And often, I think those wants in your heart are not given to you unless God was going to move the pieces to give them to you. Amen.

I agree with that times 100. I do not. I kind of call it like the blueprint on your heart. I think we're all born of a different blueprint. And that blueprint is your mission, your destiny for this life. and everyone's is different because it is what you are meant to do in this life or what you came here to do. It's the calling on your heart. I agree with you so much.

I love the blueprint thing. And we wouldn't have been given it if we weren't able to achieve it. But we have some, all times it's a struggle to get there. It's never just like, oh, here's your blueprint. Let me lay it out to you so perfectly. You're going to have no struggles, no obstacles. There are always going to be obstacles and struggles. But your blueprint is not by accident.

But and also don't let your biggest obstacle be you. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I liked that one I could tell by your face. Don't let your biggest obstacle be you because we define ourselves by these moments that have wrecked us. Oh, and then we don't trust our own intuition. Intuition is everything. If you and you all, everyone has it. It's just we either allow the volume for the intuition.

to be higher or we don't. And once you can strip away yourself, like just all the lies you've told yourself, like you and I have talked about negative self-talk and that stuff before. Like once you get to the root of who you are, you know what you want, those things are just there. So I say the first thing is get quiet, get still. And then the second thing is just trust that whatever's on your heart is meant for you. Don't doubt that.

You know? And then go to your laundry room and really get to download the secret. and just really start to learn what it's like. I mean, there's time. I've listened to that book. It has to be at least a hundred times and just different parts. And I just kind of always play it. And it's kind of fun too.

You watch how it manifests. Like the other day I was like on this big body image thing for myself. And I'm like, I've got to just be kinder to my body. And so I started writing some affirmations in the morning. And then I went to do laundry that day. And when I hit play on The Secret, it was all about like the weight part. And, you know, eating what you want and enjoying food. And I was like, see, manifesting's working.

And also a step that I would say, because I totally agree, and I love, I have all the, I have all the secrets too, like in the power. And there's like, there's several books. Like, I love it on audio too. I think I actually, that's a great idea to do it when you play laundry just so you're doing it on a regular basis, kind of make it a ritual. Something that I always look for, too, is when you don't know how you're, say you're manifesting, you're believing in the secret, you're believing that you're calling on your heart

is meant to be, you're believing there's more for you. You have to believe all that first. And like you said too, you can't be defined by what's happened to you. I love that. The first step that I always look for are just a tiny, even if it's just a crack of an open window. Like you said, get still and even write down what it is that's on your heart, even if you don't necessarily know, even if it's just like a feeling. Like write down what your craving and then just look for the tiniest of opportunities that flow into your life that could start moving you in that direction. And it doesn't have to be like, you don't have to land on it right away, but just like you have to know what you're wanting and you have to know what your

heart is craving. So that's where you said, and I agree, you have to get still and focus and know what it is. And then just open up your eyes to look for the tiniest, tiniest, tiniest, tiniest step that can move you in that direction. And then just keep looking for the step. And then just keep looking for the steps and they'll kind of start to domino, I think. Yeah. Rattitude, I think you're right. I do also think sometimes, especially when you're, I think like nonbelievers have a harder time with this too. Sometimes it's like, don't forget to give gratitude for the tiny things that happen. Like, if you're, it's like treasure hunt all day. Like if you can if you can go like even just this morning, for example, like, I would say probably not our finest morning here at the Brass household.

There's some, there's some tension revolving around registering a car in the state of Tennessee, which I feel like. I mean, if you don't get stressed at the DMV, then are you really a human? I don't know why it's so painful, but it is. It's awful. So my husband is now taking, he's taking the paperwork, any energy we have left, and he's in round two, because I went yesterday and I could not get it accomplished. So that was like the lay of the land this morning,

packing the kids lunches and because they do a little school now, which is new. And I just was feeling anxiety. And I've been working so hard on that. And I was like, okay, so much anxiety. I just feel like I've got to calm my brain down. And I thought, okay, once they're at school and I come home and I'll get some quiet, that's going to be what it is.

And literally I get a text message in that. instance from a girlfriend, she's like, hey girl, I love you. That's all. It's like, okay. So instead of just being like, crazy timing, I was like, thank you, God, thank you universe, thank you for moving in my, like, just a moment of gratitude to really say like that's not a coincidence. That's like one of my little nuggets for the day. I love that. And I think that that's a really, really important point that you make. Don't miss the tiniest, tiniest things that are going in your favor that are moving you towards what you're wanting, the mental state you want to be in, the life you want to be in, like you've got to have great gratitude for all of it. That's such a good point and so easily

missed, you know? Especially when you're, I mean, honestly, especially when you're a mom. I mean, it's a kind of like, let's be real. It is a, it is the most beautiful, sacred, messy, chaotic and thankless work we can do as human beings. And it's like, you have to look for all the little things. I mean, legend and love. our little kids and it's like they don't you know there's like apology languages are different especially at different age groups but and just the way they express love to you is different it's just like that in the world like not everything comes to you you know like your love language or gifted at your door or delivery or flowers or it's it's like sometimes it's hidden in a way that

you just have to go I'm going to take that as a sign or I'm going to take that and say thank you or you know you've got to like in parenthood it all overlaps because like legend doesn't know how to say he doesn't know when to say he's sorry right now he's for a while he was saying sorry so much that he literally that was like his default it became like thank you and i was like oh no no nobody because he's just he's kind of a brute but now he like will come up to me and and like grab my cheek and he's like pretty mama and i'm like that's kind of like that to me is almost like that's like that to me is almost like that's the wink, that's the universe sign, that's the thank you in his own way, you know? Absolutely. And that's another good point you make is we're not always going to get the signs

in the winks in the way that we think they should form. It's like life doesn't unfold. Like you look back on your life and you can see all these blessings that happen, but none of them came in the way that we thought they should come. Like our careers haven't unfolded in the way that we thought they should unfold, but you look back and it's like, oh my God, actually that all makes sense. The universe has a different way of getting you to where you want. You just have to be open that our brains, I mean, why would things unfold the way that I've created them in my brain? Like, who do I think I am? Of course, there's this bigger, bigger, bigger thing at play, and I have my desires, but like, I'm not, I'm not, I don't hold a magic wand and, like, shape the whole world.

Like, so much energy is at play. So it's like, yes, you can manifest what you are wanting, but don't expect it to come in some way that you have it wrapped up in your brain. It's going to show up totally different. But it still is going to show up, but you have to be aware to look for it in the way that it's showing up, which is probably not how you think it should show up. No, and the how is not up to us. So once you figure out what you want,

then you just have to kind of let go and just let things move in your favor. I also, I am 10 for 10 out of every time I have just let God, move in my life the way that he will move and make things shift 10 out of 10 times, it is more brilliant, better and fulfilling than anything I could have come up with. And it doesn't, there's no, I mean, I like to say, like you and I are creative people. So like I think when our brains go and, you know, to a good spiral as opposed to our bad spiral, but like we can really start to think of some cool ways things could happen. And he blows it. out of the water every single time.

It doesn't even make sense. I'm just like, okay. And every time I try to hold the tight grip, because I think that's just a humanness kind of thing to do, I feel anxious or tired or, you know, overwhelmed. Or defeated. We can feel defeated because it's not happening. Yes, sad.

You just get like, and every single time, I'm like, okay, objectively, am I holding on extra tight right now? The answer is always yes. Yeah. And so I can just. loosen the grip and allow. I have this phrase that I have shared a lot of times, but this is where I go when I get anxious and overwhelmed. And so I kind of just feel like once you adopt a motto, you can have this one if you like. It's totally available. But just find something that you can

ground yourself in that brings you right back to the center and is exactly what you need to hear. So like, no matter what, my phrase is always, I am loved and I am protected. And so, So when things get overwhelming or, you know, or I feel sad or I just feel like, you know, lonely or unseen or whatever, all human things, no one's fault, it's just like I have to remind myself, I am loved and protected. And all of a sudden, it's like I am just right back and in alignment. And sometimes I have to say it four or five times. And sometimes I have to say it out loud. And whatever your like gravity phrases, I think that's important too, because you have to have a way to snap yourself out of it and get yourself back to a point. place of feeling secure and less overwhelmed. I love that. Change the energy. Change the energy, man. And there's a lot of energy that it takes to be alive, to run a family, to be a wife, to do the laundry. And even like if you aren't married or don't have kids, or you're looking for your one, like, or you're looking for your career or you're feeling lost. I mean, you and I both have

been on the spectrum. Like, yes, we both are married with kids. And, you know, have families that we love so much. But, like, I have also been on the spectrum where feeling so lost, is, am I ever going to have love? Am I ever going to end up in a career that feels like what I'm craving in my heart that's fulfilling? Am I, I, I don't know if you felt this one, but I felt so many times, like, am I just, like, a waste of space?

Am I a loser? Is this ever going to pan out for me? And then people look at you, like, when you get your shit together on some level, it appears, and they're like, oh, my God, how did they ever get there? I'll never be able to get that. It's like, I truly have felt the full spectrum of it all. And you just sort of like you said, have to trust and let go and just keep moving forward because we're all going to hit all the different railroad stops along the way.

Sometimes we're going to be like, I am freaking killing it. Like life is awesome. And then other times you're going to be like, what in the world? I feel that. Like, let's go back to like 2000. What year was I really killing it? Because it's been a while. I was not.

I'm like, oh, yeah, killing it. What were those days like? But also it's perspective because I feel like you are killing it. Like to someone outside of perspective, you have a marriage to a country music star. Like he just had another number one, Preston Brest. He's in low cash. You have a podcast that you just launched. Has it been a year yet?

Almost. We're actually getting the logo for our birthday. Almost a year you've been dreaming of launching this for so long. And then you did it. And Kristen, we brushed. And you're having amazing efforts. episodes and it's fulfilling your soul. I mean, you have great friends. You've built a great mom squad. You have two precious children. You have a beautiful home. You know, it's like if you look

at it from an outsider's perspective, you have so much going on. That's amazing. I do think, though, like, it's crazy. I mean, I feel like when I finally get, you know, when I get out of all my feelings and once a month, those feelings get really intense. But I feel like it's, the comparison is The Thief of Joy thing is massive. I think social media is really, really hard on everyone. And I feel a little blessed in the fact that like my real social media launch,

if you will, like my real, like all of a sudden started gaining followers, came out of such a vulnerable space when I talked about the loss of our second baby that like I've been so real that my followers are the freaking best, like just genuine good people. and really, I don't know, I think like enjoy the real rawness of it. Like that's why like I always love, I mean, I love you, period.

I again, want to curl up in your lap. But like we're all just like there's this group of us kind of like changing the tone to of social media that it is just a little more raw, a little more real so that you can not feel like you have to nail it. You know, like I was doing live from the half bath when we were potty training love. And I was like, hey, here I am again on the bathroom. And we are not nailing it. Like we cannot figure this.

out. I mean, I have like what I would like to think is like this very intuitive, gifted, wonderful, beautiful child, don't we all? And it's like, she just doesn't seem to be able to figure out when to go pee on the potty. So what am I missing here? You know, but I think like when you said even when you're having the bad days and stuff, it's like we've all been defeated. And so I call them valley pullers, but it's like some days we're on the mountaintop, sometimes we're in the valley. but if you're on the mountaintop, like to an extent where you can lend your energy, like going into the valley and pulling someone up is probably one of the most important things because that's how we just keep each other moving.

Like I'll get moms that right and they're just like, I feel like I suck. I feel like you, you know, like I just wanted to say thank you today for saying that, you know, legend rode on your wall or whatever. I mean, the kid is Bill Farrell, so like something. The guy needs an indoor helmet. really a little. No, actually, you should put it helmet on him. Like, you should just have him wear one all the time. It's really intense. He has these two-year-old ideas. So, like, a pretty toddler babyish ideas. But then he has this, like, massive body that can execute them seamlessly

or not so seamlessly. So it's just, like, one big, I'm just saving himself. I literally save him from himself all day until he goes to bed. That's my only job. But, you know, like, when you just say I'm not doing well or I feel sad or I feel anxious. Like people are so ready for that. Everyone, that's why we were created to do life together. Humanness. You know, like, listen, I love Jessica Simpson, Dave Ramsey, Dave Chappelle. I mean, I watch these people and think, okay, sometimes like they just got it all together or what's it like or, you know, but then I think there's people that think like I have full-time nannies. Yeah.

Oh, girl, we're only a little bit fancy. Like, it's called low cash for a reason, you know? Like, what do you? Like, maybe we've manifested in our own demise when it comes to that. But it's like, once you just realize everyone's just doing the best they can and no one's nailing it, life just doesn't seem so competitive and it just seems a little bit easier. And, you know, when I can reach out to you and just say, hey, I feel really sad today. And I just need you.

And you're like, okay, what's going on? You know, it's like years to hear, we were gifted to be able to support each other and keep each other afloat in this life. And I love that. You said that about the social media real. And I do agree that there are a lot of us who we have gotten some little bit of influence and some followers who are amazing. But it's like I feel a responsibility to, yes, I do have moments where am I glammed up and rocking it? and feeling like a million bucks, sure. But then other times, like most of the time, am I literally covered from head to toe in cheese puffs and milk and chasing sunning around and feeling exhausted

and feeling like I'm a, for me, I struggle with, like, food. I'm a terrible cook. So, like, am I giving her enough nutrients? All these other moms are doing gourmet stuff. Like, you know, it's just like, all these things you can compare your journey to. And it's like, at the end of the day, you've got to share where you're struggling. or like lately like I've been really struggling with the people pleasing because I felt like I was just letting friends down by not being a good enough friend or like talking about one person

that I loved what they did with their business and then realizing that by talking about one and supporting one I maybe wasn't supporting another you know just like trying to do it all and do it all well and then accidentally dropping the ball in places and it's like those can be moments that are really hard to deal with, but it's like you've got to share the ugly parts, or like you're just having a bad day or like you said, you got to five, that wasn't over the DMV. I mean, it's like you've got to share that kind of stuff because otherwise social media, I feel like can be a wonderful tool, but it is so toxic. And so I think it's our responsibility to show the real side also. And I do a great job of that. Well, I do think we,

owe it to ourselves to be well, whole human beings and take care of ourselves. And I think when our self-care, oxygen mask on ourselves before assisting others, becomes less important, we all of a sudden, social media gets magnified in our brain. So, like, there's times where I've just had to take myself off, like, you're not being invited to something or, you know, it does hurt. And I always think of our younger, like, younger, sweet little babies. Like these teenagers that like, you know, if you weren't invited to something you may be found out through the rumor mill, but like now it's just so blasted in your face. And so I think like just really goes back to being still with yourself. It goes back to trusting yourself. It goes back to knowing like I know like I know. I act out of integrity and love. Like I operate out of those two things. I am I am so intentional that if I make a mistake and hurt someone's feelings, which is bound to happen at some point and has happened, I just have to go. I just have to go. I'm sorry and I would never intentionally do that.

And I have to hope that the person I'm talking to knows enough about me to go, she would never intentionally do that. And if you don't, probably not your people. I hate to say it as bluntly as that, but it's like anyone that's been in a season of chaos or defeat or just living life can typically a healthy person can find the grace in that and be able to meet you with the grace and mercy that you need to be able to kind of let go. Let's get this back on track.

And we have to give each other grace because, like you said, we all have so many balls spinning in the air. We're all trying as best we can to just stay afloat and stay present and the best we can in our own little ecosystem. And we want to be great friends and we want to be great to everyone. But like, we're going to drop the ball. It's going to happen. And you pray that the people that you accidentally hurt their feelings know that you did not mean

it. Like it was not intended. Like the last thing I wanted to. do is stir up some drama in my life. I do not want any of that. Oh my god. That wears me out. I don't have time to pee alone. I don't have time to score it out drama. Like me either. Sunny's with me every single time I pee on my lap with stuffed animals. Yeah. And I just, it's like, I really do think it's just super important to, to just take good care of yourself. And, and really, I said, I've been in a self-care mode, but it's like, and by self-care, I mean,

I put my kids in a two-day-a-week program so that I could just breathe in a house with some quiet. But we've just got to trust ourselves enough to know that we were wanting to be better humans and we're trying our best. And you said something else a minute ago that I was like, oh, I have to mention that because you were like, to me, you have it all. Like you're stunning. You've got it together. Like you and Michael have this great marriage. You know, it's like it's everyone's outside. don't think it's such a bad thing. It gets kind of a negative connotation sometimes, but it's like,

sometimes it's okay for us to like just think the best of those people because they probably need us to everyone needs someone that thinks they're nailing it. You know, like I'm not sure who that is in my life other than you, but I'm not nailing it. I am, I'm far from nailing it. I mean, I literally, Caroline texted me this morning and was like, hey, are we still good for today? And I was like, yep, just wrap it up a fight with my husband, be there in 15. Like it's just like. that's just real life. And I don't know. I, I wish that the world gave grace, but I think we just have to start one single person at a time. I'm trying to remind people and myself more lately that, like, let us not forget folks that we are living in a pandemic. So,

golly gee. I mean, living, I love Michael more than anything in the world. We've been together for 10 years, but like when you are with someone all the time, it is like to being with, by the way. Like, I mean, our husbands are gone on the road constantly. You have, you, since you've been married to Preston, y'all haven't had this much time together ever. How are you navigating that? I mean, I will, I try to remind everyone right now, I'm like, listen, we're living through history. We do not have to thrive through history. Like, you just need to live through it. Take some pressure off yourself. Yes, there's, things are changing a lot. lot of things are shifting for the good. We needed that to happen. But like also, maybe this isn't

the time to do a deep dive into couples therapy. Like maybe right now it's just like, let's stay surface level and working as a team, you know, instead of like, let's work on every single problem we've ever had for all my. The spare time could just be to like organize the closet. It doesn't have to be necessarily to like go back and do some intensive couples work. But hey, amen. Like just right now, we need to just focus. I will say like he. he's usually on the road. I mean, the first year, our daughter was born January 5th and January 11th, he took off and his song that year also took off. That was his first big hit. And he was gone like over 260 days that year. And the song was, I love this life, which is so fitting. Yeah, so please download and send

our kids to college. Um, shameless plugs all over this place. We're just trying to make it. But it's crazy because we've literally like, I don't do life. Like the first week, I don't do life with him. So the week, I was like, here, this is where we keep the spoons. My name's Kristen and welcome to orientation. And you also got married really quickly too. Married quickly and pregnant quickly. We've done everything quickly. Like, I don't, it's crazy. So it is weird to like live with each other and be doing like parenting with each other and I'm so I'm fiercely independent and so I've had to like really do some work on myself during the last like eight months and go okay like you know I would just take the trash down and he would be like well I could take the trash to the curve and I was like I know but

I can too and he's like but I'm home and I can do that and so I've had to like go okay it's a weird shift from having to be like the husband and the wife the mom and the dad all the time to just like I can just be a wife and a mom for a minute. you know, we're still married. I mean, I got to tell you, for a while, the country music industry looked like we were all dropping like flies. I was like, you read a headline next day, another headline. And I was like, it's crazy when you're used and have designed a whole life around not really being with each other. You know, like it takes, it's so strong in some areas because it takes a massive amount of trust, a different kind of level of communication to sustain these marriages.

But what it doesn't take is cleaning toilets up after everyone and getting no help and watching people drink hot coffee while you chase two kids around. I'm just speaking hypothetically here. So we're like really learning how to do life together. But I think the world is learning how to do life together right now for the first time. We've all had to slow down so massively. Yeah. Like as a world, we're finally seeing each other and acknowledging struggles.

and acknowledging like some broken systems. I mean, that is like global and then all the way down to inside our four walls, you know? I know. It's a lot. It's a lot. The world is really shaking it up. It's like, okay.

It can't be just business as usual. Everyone, things have got to change. I'm shutting the world down. We got grounded. Yeah, I was like, we all got grounded. God sent us to our houses and was like, you go to your room and you figure some stuff out. And it's hard to, like, you know, then you just think of even like one level. It's like if you have your health, you have everything.

But then you think about just the fact that financially, like I know y'all have felt this too. Like we are primarily touring income house. So take that away from us. And I mean, we were on the phone with the realtor month one. Like, do we need to sell? Like tell us where we need to start figuring some things out because it gets really overwhelming, really fast. And it's just crazy how much we all had and took. I mean, I don't think, I don't think specifically us took for granted because I think you and I've always been grateful.

But man, it's another prime example of loosening your grip because I remember even saying to you at one point, we did not have time as a family. Like it is not sustainable to live like this. The four of us are never together. Like, I mean, it would be weeks and countdowns and he's in Australia you and I'm making some countdown on the fridge and we're putting a sticker every morning and how many more sleeps and it's like that some of that is just the business but then there's just somewhere I'm like we need time well I would have never shut down the whole world but God moved some things so we've gotten months together we've never had I mean before March our longest run together at home was two weeks we've never so how have love and legend responded to

to this. They are obsessed. We have a really, honestly, I'll say this, we do have a pretty fun household. Like, Preston and I kind of sometimes are like, it's kind of like we keep waiting for our parents to come home. Like, we kind of feel like we're just doing, like, you know, it's like movie night and sleepovers and all this. It's kind of probably, I don't know that they get it. It's fine. It's perfect. It's love. It's so love. And it's so, you know, he came from this amazing house of he had a preacher dad and a homemaker mom and she's so creative. Ariya, yeah, yeah, she's a good one. So he's just got this next level creativity and like yolo about life.

I bring some rules to the table because I just think structure is probably okay for them. But like they have just loved, you know, the first two weeks he was off the road. She would say every single day when she would wake up, are you leaving today? Do you leave in the dark tonight? Are you not there? Is the bus leaving tonight? Like she just checked every single day. And then after two weeks, she just kind of was like,

Dad is home. And he had to do a couple things last week and he was gone. And it was like, how many sleeps will be gone? I said, just one sleep. She got up that next morning. And she was like, good morning, Mama. Do you know what today is? Dad is coming home?

Why does this think we just want to cry? Because it's such a blessing. Like the careers are such a blessing. And everybody has their blessings and their struggles within their lives. But that is the blessing and the struggle of this industry is you get to witness your spouses do amazing things and like fulfill dreams, but then it is a sacrifice of time being gone. And I know a lot of people in other industries deal with that too. And it's, it's a hard, it's a hard payoff sometimes. But I can't imagine.

We talk about a military all the time here. I just, I have such a deep gratitude for, I mean, listen, I've even said, I've even said this to you. There's times where I'm like, I wish he was doing something that felt a little more credible, like saving my country because I send him off to be surrounded in crop tops and booty shorts. And I'm like, wait, so what are you doing again? But I will say music does heal. And I think music is so important. It just is. And I think we've seen how vital it is to all of us. Like, it makes me emotional. But it's like this year, we have missed all of that. I know. People need outlets to go let go. and to get lost in music.

I'm getting out of here. I mean, I'm listening to The Secret and doing laundry. Does anyone want to throw me a bone? I'm like, really on this. It's crazy. But that's how it feels with music is like it might have felt like it was something that was just like extra. But like when you get locked down, we've all been grounded. Like we all of us, how much do we just need to go and let our hair down and dance and

feel alive to music and get reset and to forget about all the struggles and the hardships and to have some, like, music that connects to our soul and reminds us while we're alive and reminds us who we are. And it's like, you've got to have that. Like, it's so important. And it feels like it's not necessary sometimes or it's, like I said, extra, but it's not. It's, you know, like, honestly, I'm sitting talking to you in a house that music built, which is incredible to me. And Preston and I met because of music. Like, I had a love for country music and I can't sing at all. So literally, like, I was on the label side or the radio side, but it's all for music.

And it's crazy, even in this house to watch, like we have a music room and it's got like some expensive equipment in it. And we just, the kids, I mean, legends walking around with a microphone, I don't even know how much it costs, but it's intense, but he just always walks around and Preston never says a thing. Because he's just like,

they need to feel that. They need to know that. When we have, I'll be honest, when we have tough days here, like the dance party is what breaks it up for us. We just get, I just blew too thin and I'm like, okay, we got work to do.

And we just shake it or dance or whatever. And it's like, music is everything. It just is in all of us so innately that it's so cool to me to watch how it brings us all back together. And I think we miss. I know Preston misses the road because I'm sure he misses sleeping in and, you know, a lot of other things. And there's got to be some validation there that is good for him. because I mean, I asked him on actually on month two.

I said, would you like to stand on the counter and like sing? And I can stand down here with a cropped off on and just you make out eyes. Like, are you missing that? Do you need like, what can I do to help you? But I do really think like the world is so we just are better together. I know they keep saying that. Now it's become like this hashtag, but it's like, gosh, when we were, that's how you and I met, you know? It doesn't even make sense.

Now we live like 20 minutes away. I mean, you're freaking in the delivery room, but it started in Indy from me flying in from Kansas City, you from Nashville, like all because of music. I know. So tell me about your podcast and Kristen, we breast. And tell me what is the central theme of it because you share a lot of, like you said, the real real, like how you like to be vulnerable and share your truth on Instagram. You do that also on your podcast.

So talk to me about it. So I've always been a writer and I really love writing, but I realize there's some comedic timing that gets lost when you. can't say things writing them. So essentially what started it is just realizing that not everyone is as lucky as we are to have such a good girlfriend group. And when I really started, like, I have true love confessions about my people on Instagram. So it's like social media just, you know, celebrating each other's victories. And I feel so lucky because I feel like I've always had a sense of that and not everybody does. So I designed what I call the Girlfriends Girlfriends Podcast.

And it is just like nothing is off the table to talk about. There's a place for everyone. Everybody has a seat at our table and no one left behind is basically the idea. So we've talked like I had a three part Mean Girl series where I brought my friend Amy on who's a therapist and we talked through like, you know, the Regina George Complex and what that is and why people are that way and recovering mean girls. It's just like we, it's just been really, it's been really good for me.

And it's been especially, I guess it's been healing to feel like, you get to a certain point in life where you're like, why have I gone through so many things or why? What's, you know, like you just get kind of tired. And when you,

when I created in Kristen Webrass, it feels like there's finally a reason for all the things, for all the heartache, for all the loss. for, you know, for the way I grew up, just to be able to share and grab somebody's hand and be like, we've got this, we're in it together. We is a powerful word. And I think when I made it, I just had like, it's interesting that it's in Christen Webrest because it's just kind of like whatever. It's just a play on words because you know I'm corny like that. But like,

we matters to me because it just means no one feels alone. So that's the whole goal. We talk about at all. This month is like, or October will be, it's just centered all around like infant loss, miscarriage, you know, infertility, really anchoring there because of how many people I've gotten from losing a baby, you know? And you're really honest with that, with that part, that chapter of your life. And I mean, I also share that with you and like miscarrying. And tell me how that has changed you. Oh, well, this is the instant tears. I'm always tears. It's okay.

I'm going to cry too. Man, it's so crazy. It's like I tell people all of the time how it's incredible, how someone you never met changes your entire life. It just was a really, it was just hard. I mean, we lost it 12 weeks and we, you know, I just held, I think my body held on a lot longer than it should have just because my mind, the mind is such a powerful thing.

And I had convinced myself that I, you know, that it just was going to be, we were just going to defy all the odds and that we were just going to prove everyone wrong. And like I just adore medical professionals so much. But sometimes I just love it when God just comes in and trumps and just shows people, you know. But again, not my plan. And so we, it's, it's just changed everything for me. I think I got like, I think I got like 17 of the 21,000 followers or something from sharing.

I lost a baby. It sucked and I'm still not okay with it. And it was like they came out of the woodwork. Like, no one talks about this. And, you know, I feel alone or I, you know, I think I hate my husband or I think. I hate my husband or I'd think I hate my mother-in-law because they weren't there for me. It's just like, it's crazy. This one little person who I've never met has just changed everything, my whole direction.

And it's not lost to me either. Love is a Capricorn. Legend is a Leo. And then our little middle one, baby lion, as we refer to our middle one, we didn't find out if it was poor a girl, was due to be a little. Leo, but went to heaven at Capricorn. So it's like, I have these three little souls that I've mothered in some way or another. And they all are just kind of like, it's this sweet little package of Leo lionheartedness and Capricorn tenacity, you know?

Parenthood is hard. It is hard. And, yeah, it's just, I never understood. I never understood like the pain of miscarrying until I actually like went through it also because I was just thought, well, I don't know why I just, I mean, I just hadn't thought about it. I guess you didn't think it was so emotional as it is. I would have never known. I mean, I remember Jana when I found out they were like, the first visit, they were like, you could just tell. You know, they questioned the conception date.

and I'm pretty A-type, so I knew everything. And you could just tell, like, the Dow. And then my doctor, like, gently kind of preparing me for, like, the idea of a miscarriage in the first visit, which I was like, it was, like, weird to me that she, I don't, I remember just feeling like, why is she even saying this? Like, this is not. It just fell off. It didn't feel sturdy.

Yeah, I was like, why would she even mention that? Like, we're busy. We're going to, this baby's going to be fine, you know? And then you just, like. the second visit, there's, there's no heartbeat. And you're, and so that's just it, you know, and I remember like getting in the car. It was almost like a blackout. Like I just wanted to be alone. Like I just kept remembering wanting to get to my car. I just wanted to be alone and just cry. And I just, like, we had brought love in with us because we were like, this is when you see a

heartbeat, you know? Like, I just, all of it was too much. And it was like, I just wanted to get to my car. I wanted to be alone and I just wanted to cry and I ended up calling Jana. Who's a friend of ours, Jana Kramer, and I said... She's also been open about suffering miscarriages and loss. Yeah. I just was like, I don't know what to do. I remember one of the visits was the visit where we decide then how I will lose the baby, which was like... Oh. I mean, just do I wait to have it for it to happen naturally, which is essentially like your body is just a time bomb. It can happen at any time.

time and you can't care for your kids. And I had one toddler or I could schedule a DNC and just do it that way. And I just called her and I was just bawling and I was like, how do I pick how to lose my baby? And she was like, you know, I mean, she just was such a good friend. But like I think about that even like, God, I would do anything to meet that person. and like the strength of friendship and love that I have because I didn't get to meet that person is insane. Like Jana and I had always been friends,

but it was like in that moment where it just went like deep. And yeah, you know, you just, it's crazy. I always just try to think like your baby, my baby, a millions of other babies that didn't get to live here like are all together. and for some reason that just makes me feel so good. And when I met legend being a rainbow baby, there was a lot of anxiety around that, around carrying him.

And because we are in the public eye, we had to do ACMs. And so I had to announce because it didn't look like a party girl body anymore. It looked like a baby. And we were about to walk the carpet. So we had to announce and that's just the amount of anxiety that came with that because you just don't feel like you ever get to keep a baby. after you lose, you know?

And so I was able to go through it without the public the first time, you know? No one really knew. So it's intense because now having legend, I remember when I was delivering him, I couldn't wait to just see his eyes. I kept saying to Preston, I just need to see this baby's eyes. And we didn't know if he was a boy or a girl. but I remember knowing that I was going to see eyes that knew what baby lion looked like and knew what Jesus looked like.

And I, it was going to be the only person that I would get to see on this side that already had seen that side. And I was like waiting for his eyes, like my little baby. And the minute he came out, they laid him on me and like, it was surreal. Like I'm probably too emotional for this today. but it was intense. I feel like he delivered his message, then he closed his eyes, then he cried, and then he started life.

Like, special. Parenthood is a shit show and amazing and just so many things. But it is. I know. It just changed you forever. I relate to you so much with feeling like you'll never get to, like, actually carry a baby once you've lost. Like, that's, I had so much anxiety.

was sunny. It's a real, so much anxiety. Like, I stopped exercising. I barely, like, I barely moved. Like, I could, I just was so afraid. I mean, I wouldn't walking and stuff. I didn't barely move. But, like, I just, I was so afraid, like, if a dog jumped on me that, like, it was

going to, like, kill her, or, you know, if I laid wrong or if she, I couldn't feel her kick. Just the whole time, I was just, like, plagued by anxiety. Exactly. You're like, oh, my gosh, I'm the worst human. If you eat deli meat, even if you eat deli meat, even if you eat deli, me even if you've heated it like to heat it long enough like I know it's intense but it's interesting because it's like it never ends I mean honestly the worry I've always been a warrior by nature

but just like it's I think to me again like to circle it back is like you have to have faith in something bigger than you you have to feel like life the universe air energy loved ones are all moving on your behalf. Like you have to get into some safe place of like real knowing and feeling in your soul because there's so many variables, especially once you become a parent that are just so not in your control that it's like you have to have a grounding place. I am loved and protected. You have to have whatever that is for you to go back to and just remind yourself.

It's also weird because you feel like all of a sudden you have to be like really, good at it. Right. And like honestly, the first six months to, now I feel like I have the hang of it with Sunny because now we're like, you know, she's a little human and stuff, but like not the hang of it. Like I understand it now. The first six months, I felt like I needed a manual.

I needed so much help. I needed someone to tell me how to do everything from eating to sleeping to, how often do you breastfeed? Like, when do they need a nap? Like, what in the world am I going to? What do I do? Like, I don't feel like anyone knows how to do it. No, I call it the.

foreign exchange student phase where you kind of all feel like you might speak this like you could kind of gain the language but you're not really sure and no one's really communicating. It's just really overwhelming. And it's not any less overwhelming the second time. It's because you just worry in different ways. But the one piece of parenting advice I give every single person and you know no one likes parenting advice is literally that you were given this person because you as you are, your gut instinct, your intuition, everything is more than enough for the human you've been gifted. So all you have to do is trust your gut. Like if something feels off, it feels off. And this has been my parenting advice, the only thing I will say to someone for five years now, because I really

feel like instinctually you know and you're connected. And if it feels wrong, it is wrong. And it doesn't have to make sense to anyone else but you. We pulled love out of a school. We tried her in a preschool. there was an incident. I just did not, no matter what they did to, like, rectify the situation and not feel good, and she was out. And it's, it's like, you don't have to explain it or apologize for your gut instinct. It's one of the most empowering things, you know, like you, you like to think you're nailing it, but like really in life. And that's why you're like able to become a parent or, you know, can take on the responsibility. But like, I've learned more about myself and healed more parts of myself being a

parent than I ever knew could even be possible. Like, the empowerment and the feeling like you speak on behalf and are responsible for people is so, it's such a powerful thing. Like, I don't care what anyone thinks. If it's not good for my babies, we are not doing it. Next, like, it's, I've never been that assertive in something or that. And it's because I actually was talking to my sister about this the other day. You, it is like, she's the best.

It is like you have to find it in yourself to be assertive and to step up because if you actually don't step up when you have a gut instinct that says no, that could be a moment that impacts your child negatively for the rest of their life. And if you knew it in your gut, and I'm not saying things aren't going to happen that we can't control it all, like stuff is out of our control. But if you have a gut instinct that says no and you ignore it and something happens, you knew it. You knew it that it was a no and you ignored it because of whatever factors involved in the world that you're letting override your gut instinct. Like you have to step up for your kids. You have to. And I feel that same way because I am not that kind of person. I am like go with the flow.

I kind of want everyone else to like make the decisions. Like I want a people please all day long. But it's like, no. I have to say no if I feel it in my gut for Sunny. Even if it makes me so uncomfortable, you have to do it. It's crazy though. like how it's all so well designed, like universally, you know, like just people like you and I wouldn't normally say we would just go, okay, and like kind of go with it or, you know, if it's like,

like big injustices, we obviously never have. We've been pretty vocal about it. I don't know. There's in a couple of things we're both like, actually, I don't like that. And you're like, yeah, me too. Or, you know, like we kind of like, I feel like we're good about that stuff. but it's a really beautiful divinely invented process that you actually become more whole of yourself when you're responsible for someone else. Yeah. It's like, gosh, characteristics I wish I would have had 10 years ago. I got because of love, you know, and like, and now to say like, actually we're not going to

do that or we're not going to be involved in this friendship anymore. We're going to put some boundaries up because we need to do what's best for our family. is the most powerful, enlightening things I've ever done for myself. I couldn't agree more. And it's made me such a stronger version of myself, that's for sure. Like, because where I used to doubt myself, and I still do doubt myself, but it's really it's made me have to shape up because I got to, I got to know who, what I stand for, what I stand for with Sunny, who, what I'm going for in this life.

Like, I can't be wishy-washy because it really matters. And these little children are looking to us as they're going. guides as you said and it's like it's my responsibility to have a sense of knowing and if I know something in my gut I have to just act out on that and it's it's made me have to step up for sure and so I agree with you 100%. So I want to talk to you. Okay yeah wrap it up wrap that up and then I want to talk to you all day long but I'm going to have to wrap up the podcast sadly even though we could literally talk all day. I was just going to say that part of that podcast for me was leaving something for love because I feel like my kids can listen to their dad sing and do his talent

for the rest of their lives somehow some way and they when you said like I have to kind of like know where I'm going or what I'm doing I felt that so strongly especially when you just said it because it's been like you know as a mom you really always struggle with like should I take time away from them to do something or you know like am I being selfish like mom gill it's just such a real thing. And it's like, I just got to a point where I'm like, I want her to see me doing what I love because I think there's nothing greater and more powerful in the entire world than a woman doing what she knows she was made to do. Preach it. And I feel that same way. You and I are both raising little girls. And I, I know you feel this way for love because you just said this,

but I feel the same way for Sunny. Like, she, I can already tell Sunny has big ideas. You know, She's got massive dreams. She is like curious and determined and like wanting to do stuff. Like what am I going to tell her? You grow up and you throw all those dreams away. No, you keep your dreams going and you can figure it all out. You can figure out how to do all that's in your heart. Like you don't have to sacrifice.

And you can find the way to have your dreams come true also. And you have to. And I think you being that example is so important. And I feel like I feel the same way. like I want Sonny to see that like I am her mom and I love her more than anything and she is my number one over everything but I still I still have my dreams and I'm still I'm still pursuing what's my my what I feel my talents are and what my purposes and I'm finding the way to do it where it works for my life and I love that you said that I couldn't agree with you more

we make generation by generation the knowing and the trusting of ourselves in our daughters, in our sons. I mean, the world needs a lot more good men. That's for sure too. So I don't take that responsibility lately at all. But especially when it comes to love because I can relate to her is probably why I feel like it's such an important thing.

It's like if the sunnies and the loves and the birdies and the, you know, of the world can all learn a better trusting of themselves than generationally we are pushing this race. in a way better, the human race, I mean, in a way better direction and creating a way more compassionate world. And we're showing that women are so capable. Because like our generation, like even our mother's generation, they were beginning to like have, have their pursuits and their dreams and like, but it was still a fight to get there. Like our generation, yes, women can

have their dreams and we are absolutely given all sorts of opportunities, but it's still such a struggle. Like I feel we are trying to pave the way for like our kids that it's not going to be like this huge, oh my God, I have to like be a mom or have a job or I don't know how to mesh them both together. Like women in our generation are even paving the way like April Tomlin, I just interviewed her. She's created, she's an all women. She's an interior designer who's amazing. She's an all woman workforce who works for her. All of them, a lot of them are moms. She gives them like personal hours so that they can she can you can be a mom and yet if you need to go to your child's game or if you need to go get a hair appointment to have self care or whatever you don't

have to explain it or feel guilty or feel like you have to sacrifice being a mom to be a great worker like you can do it both and I feel like that's what we're trying to do right at least in my mind this wave of women it's like we all have these talents we all have these gifts we want to work we want to pursue them but yeah we also want to be a great mom so like why do we have to pick either or why can't we work them all together? Why do you have to have a nine to five work hour schedule? Why can't it be a fluid work schedule? When the kids go to bed, you do some work at night. Like, why does it have to be this set old schedule? We can come up with something new where you can do it all. You don't have to feel like you're sacrificing or guilty. I mean, of course, that's always going to come and play when you have a lot on your plate.

But it just doesn't have to be the way it was. We can come up with new ways and be more effective. Yeah, and just live a more purpose. life. Like I tell Preston all the time. I'm like, if Adam was enough, like, God wouldn't have dropped Eve in there. And by the way, if it wasn't for Eve, Adam would just be naked and hungry in a garden. Like, it's a mess. Like, you know, like, we need each other. And I don't, it's, it's very much in our household. Like, it's not manhater nation. You know, I do take the responsibility of growing a man for this world so intense because it's, it's a huge responsibility to legend, I don't like his wife already and he's only two. So that's going to be hard for me.

But I do feel like I can shape him and understand like feelings are okay. And it's, we have such a responsibility to raise these babies in a way that they can just see a more whole view with less crazy lenses. And I mean, we, I mean, I believe children are our future. I mean, do you want to put that song in here? But it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, really a, it doesn't have to be that we gave up all of ourselves to push a generation forward. We learning to be whole ourselves, I think helps show them. I grew up with a lot of do as I say, not as I do. And so in my house and our house, my slogan is just like to keep operating in a way where

like actions and words are always matching so that it can just build a real strong foundation and you don't have to wonder what you're, something to do next like you know it because you've seen it and it's what your example's been and it's how you've been raised it's your if you feel sad if you feel sad you cry and that's okay and we'll just make space for you to cry if you feel angry you're not going to hit your sister but we're figuring out ways where we're like trying to move him you know like let's talk it through like let's get to the core root of why you're angry and let's like express your feelings and you don't have to do it through violence, but instead, not that like hit hitting, I mean, they're not trying to be violent. They just

don't know how to express themselves. But it's like, you can express your feelings. Like, let's actually talk about it, not just like ground you, you know? Yeah. And I do, I mean, I just think, I need that for myself. Like, I need to say, I feel sad and it's okay to cry. I mean, there's times where I don't even allow myself to feel something because I'm like, okay, come on, Kristen, be a little tougher, you know, whatever. It's just like, if everyone would just be a little more gentle with everyone, I think we would be in a way better position. But women are magical, empowering great creatures that are absolutely essential for existence in all the ways logistically.

But there's something that we have that's a superpower and I just never want us to lose it. So that's why I try to raise good babies. That's why I'm trying to raise good podcast content. That's why I'm obsessed with you. Like it all comes down to kind of that for me. Well, I also just was on my friend. her handle is so Sarah Ann and she just launched a podcast called Amen

Sister Friend and she said like she'd been wanting to launch this podcast for a long time but then she like you know like the imposter syndrome crept in it's like who am I to do this like why should I do this because it's all inspiring and trying to give you like inspo for your week and everyone should check that podcast out to you by my amen sister friend it's so good um but it's like I told her and the same thing I'm telling you and the same thing I'm telling

all my friends like our friend Lainey Crowder just launched something life in the week field which you're you and her have the same vision which kind of helped her grow into this this amazing bible study she's doing virtually so you all should follow that too but i'm like anyone who is putting goodness out there who is spreading light who is trying to help others feel not alone especially in the social media platform that is overruled by comparison feeling like we don't look good enough like our lives aren't good enough like everything isn't comparing. If you are creating a space to spread light and love and the feeling of we are all in this together, then shine on. We have got to support each other to do that because it is needed

and we need more light workers to be flooding these platforms. So people don't just get lost in this abyss of like depression because they can never match up and they can never compare. It's like we got to just like shine that light bright to try to. try to keep the dark light, you know, it's important. Make your own rules. Don't be afraid to pave away. Don't be afraid to follow your gut and trust yourself. Like, gosh, we were given intuition as such an amazing gift. And every single person has it.

Sometimes we've just gotten lost in the noise that we've collected from the world and we forget how to listen to it. But that intuition is a direct connect. So I love that. We're a special breed of people, women. I mean. People do, but women. I agree.

Okay, so I always wrap up with Leave Your Light. And obviously, this has been one heck of an inspo conversation. So everything has been very light oriented here. But what do you want people to know? They're not alone. I think loneliness does things to people. And it makes walls get tighter and spaces get less air and more dark. And just whatever it is,

there is just no, there is just nothing that can separate you from what you were meant to have. There is nothing. So there's nothing too dark. There's nothing too deep. There's nothing too sad. You're just not alone. I think once you feel less alone, once you put the we in life, it just starts to feel like, we weren't meant to do this alone, guys.

We were not meant to do life alone. I agree. Once you feel all isolated and that no one gets you and that no one understands and that what you've done or what's happened to you is so awful. it'll never be able to recover. But once you realize there's a whole army of people out there who have gone through the same things or who maybe haven't but want to hold your hand

and comfort you and help you heal, man, all the power of that darkness is gone. It's gone. Like you just can't. It's even like you and I. I mean, you have been there in the thick of it with me, the thick of it. And I just think back to like the time where I'd be like,

gosh, if I didn't have one person to call, you know? So I think until you find your people, it's important. Like I think podcast, social media, this platform has so many little treasures in it. People just wanting to say, like, let's feel connected until you can get really connected. I love that. Exactly. Like, if you feel alone like you haven't gotten your crew or like you are in a situation where you don't have interactions with people who are like-minded or like going for the same things

or wanting to like heal in the ways that you are, find it online. That's where online is great. That's where, like, oh, amen. That's where it can be great. And I think that we should all start trying to use social media in that way and not like keep going down the rabbit hole, feeling less than, but like find all the follow people who make you feel not alone. Listen to podcasts who give you inspiration.

Like use it in that way. Use it to help yourself. Use it to fuel yourself. Don't use it to like keep making you feel worse about yourself. If you ever feel like you're not nailing it, I have a perfect home for you. It's at Christaween for us. We were just talking about how we're not nailing it all the time.

But my goal, at the end of every episode, I do something called Bard Hope. And it's just like a homework or something to think about until the next time. And it's mostly just so that we can leave with like an action item because I just feel like my Capricorn A-typeness loves a good plan. And I think when you feel like people are also moving together,

making a plan, you just feel like some momentum. And most of the time, loneliness just comes from a lack of momentum. I love that. Man, I love this conversation. I'm so glad we got to happen. I'm so glad I didn't cancel

because I got in a fight with my husband. See, folks, that's what would happen if you let all the... I was like, I'm really a good person to talk to today, actually. You might want to reschedule me. Nope, it was perfect.

This is such an amazing conversation. I love you so much, and thank you so much for sharing all your heart and soul. Everybody go follow a little... Your Instagram handle is a little bit fancy. and L-I-T-T-L-E-B-I-T-F-E-B-I-T-Fancy. And then your podcast is in Kristen. We Brust, B-R-U-S-T.

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