The Bobby Bones Show - BONUS: A Message from Bobby on Velvet's Edge with Kelly Henderson: Liv Like Riv with Granger Smith and his wife Amber Smith

Episode Date: December 22, 2020

Subscribe to Velvet's Edge with Kelly Henderson:Kelly talks to country music artist, Granger Smith and his wife, Amber about tragically losing their 3 year old son a year ago through and accidental story. The couple bravely tells their story in hopes of educating people on extra safety measures that can be taken to help prevent this from happening. They also share stories of how they are working through their grief and finding joy in each day. Donate to help: riverkellyfund.org Socials: @grangersmith@amberemilysmith Earl Dibbles: Country Boy Quarantine  Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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morning still wanted to give you something new and recommend a podcast to you it's called velvets edge with kelly henderson it's one of the podcasts here on the nashville podcast network now kelly is a celebrity is a celibstylist based in nashville she has a podcast based on her website and her blog called velvetsedge dot com it's all about fashion health beauty and she talks to really cool people inside the industry that she works with now in this episode she's talking to granger smith and his wife amber they share their story of losing their son how they're working through their grief to find joy in each day. It's really a fantastic episode.

It's a good podcast. Hope you check it out and you subscribe to it when you're done. Search Velvet's Edge wherever you listen to your podcast and subscribe. Okay, here you go. This is Kelly Henderson and you are listening to the Velvet's Edge podcast. My guest today are country music artist Granger Smith and his wife Amber. Unfortunately, a year ago, the couple experienced every parent's worst nightmare with the drowning of their three-year-old son, River.

For children ages one to four, drowning is the leading cause of accidental. death. So Amber and Granger are here today to share that tragic story in hopes of shedding light on safety precautions and ways to help prevent this from happening to others and also to give insight on how they are walking through their grief. This was an extremely tough conversation to have and I'm truly grateful for their bravery and vulnerability. Here's our conversation. All right, so I debated on how to approach this story because I just imagine reliving this day would be very traumatic. So I just want to come at this from a place of understanding. your experience and then also educating people.

I know you guys have been doing a lot of that lately. So just educating people the best we can is to hopefully help this from happening to others. So I just want to turn it over to you guys and ask if you just want to tell us what happened in June a year ago, just to whatever your comfort level is. You want me to take it? Yeah. Okay.

Okay. So June 4th, we were home. It was a normal, normal night, a normal late spring evening. And we had just finished dinner. I had gotten River out of his high chair, and he wanted to go outside and play with London and Lincoln, which was totally normal. Granger was outside, kind of doing gymnastics with London, and I had had a rough day, and I just needed a little bit of a break. So I went back in the house to take a shower. I got out of the shower, and I was just kind of, I think I had just sat down on the bed, and I had heard London scream, and I heard River fell in the pool, and I heard her far away.

We had the back door open of the house. And I heard her scream, River fell in the pool. So I came running out. I was thinking he's got to still be in the pool. I'm going to go grab him. I'm going to scoop him up. He's going to be fine. And then I was thinking in my head, you know, I think I screamed where's daddy

before I got out the door. And by the time I got out to the pool, I saw Granger doing CPR on River. So in, I guess, the span of 30 seconds to, maybe a minute or two, you know, our boys were playing water gun fight in the backyard. And Granger was, his back was to the pool. And he was doing gymnastics with London. And somewhere in that time, River found his way into our locked pool gate. And there was no splash. There was no sound. There was no fight. Nobody saw it that was outside. So we spent the next couple days in the hospital, and we had to say goodbye a couple days later. Wow. I'm so sorry.

Um, Granger, I was reading that on Today.com that you said the part that still makes you so mad at yourself is just that you had a pool and you didn't know that it's the leading killer. So for children, I was reading from children from ages one to four, drowning is the leading cause of accidental death. Is that act? That's right. Yeah, that's right. That's crazy. Right. And yet, and yet whenever you go to a pediatrician, you never hear, um, do you guys have a pool?

Right. Do your neighbor, do your next-door neighbors have a pool? Just curious. You never hear that. You hear more about how are they, how's their diet? Where are they eating? You know, do you have a car seat? How are they sleeping?

You hear that kind of stuff instead. Yeah. And then I was with a part about the gate was the hardest thing to read too because it seems like you guys took all the precautions that as a parent you would think that you should. And river could swim and there was a gate. It wasn't like he was just. out there by himself. What would you say to other parents who are probably listening now and just thinking like,

I mean, obviously this is a worst nightmare situation, but what are some of the tangible things that you could even say that you could do differently? Because it seems to me like you guys were taking all the safety precautions that you could. I think the number one thing for me I would say to any parent, any caregiver, any babysitter is that we didn't, I never knew about, it's what's called ISR. it's infant swim survival or infant swim rescue. Okay. And this teaches, it could teach babies as young as eight months to float in the water. So they learn how to float and they learn survival skills to where if they ever somehow make it

in the water, they can roll over and make a sound or cry or breathe so somebody can hear them or see them. And we just didn't know about that. You know, I thought age three, you know, we put them in swim lessons and we'll be good. And that's just, we know now that that is just too late. I think the number one thing I would say would be very, very early swim lessons or ISR. Okay. Definitely still install a pool gate, add a second lock, get a pool alarm. I just, our main thing is that it's not one thing that's going to save your child. It's multiple layers of protection.

A gate's not going to save them. Maybe a pool alarm could fail. But all of those things added together offer layers of protection. Right. Yeah. Kelly, the deadliest thing, in my opinion, is thinking that your supervision is enough. Yeah.

And I look at that in terms of, say, you're driving down the highway and say, well, I'm going to be, I'm a safe driver. I'll just watch all the rest of the cars. I'll just keep my eyes on the road. But you're not thinking about a seatbelt and airbags and everything else, the other layers of protection. And it's ironic we're actually doing this podcast on the anniversary of, of close friends of ours that lost their child the same way.

Wow. And we were actually close family friends. They knew our story. And a month later, it happened to them. That's how crazy. And it happened to them in a birthday party for his older brother. He was turning, what, six years old, five years old. And the entire family, all the friends, grandparents,

parents were there. They had a lifeguard there. It was at a community pool. And they were literally cutting the cake for the little boy, the five-year-old and the three-year-old snuck away behind everyone and was fishing something out of the water and slipped in. Oh, my gosh. So even, yeah, because weren't you, I mean, do you replay that moment in your mind over and

over because you were 20 feet away, right? Is that just the hardest part of that for you? yeah yeah every day I think about it every day I think about it every day I think about it every day all I had to do was turn my head around a little sooner than I did and yeah it's it's it'll be with me forever I was reading in people you said I'm going to forgive myself but I'm not there yet what do you think it will take for you to get to a place of forgiving yourself I think the reason I say that is because everyone else tells me that eventually I will yeah I was like, well, I mean, you have to eventually, right? But that's, I mean, besides time, just having a lot of time and to reconcile with myself over time. And it's hard to reconcile right now because it's still fresh. And you don't want to really dive into that. And I used to dive into it every day.

And Amber and I called it the slideshow. You'd get, you get, it's like you're walking on a hallway and you, you glance into a room and the door's cracked. And there's a slideshow playing and you get sucked into that room and that's the same six or seven slides that are playing over and over. And that's, that's your memory of that night. And it's, it's, it gets on a loop. And anyone that's, that's gone through anything traumatic doesn't even have to be terrible. You, it could be a breakup with a boyfriend and girlfriend. You go through a slide show of these certain events that you,

you remember and you cannot get that loop out of your head. Well, so how do you stop that? Have you figured that out yet? No. I've gotten a lot better. And Amber and I have been to therapy. We went to therapy in Tennessee and spent a week there. And it was probably the best thing that we've done for ourselves since the accident was actually

invest in some therapy. and was actually wants to say it. I was just going to say, I think we did a certain therapy called brain spotting that was there, and it's kind of a different form of EMDR, where it's like an eye, rapid eye movement, and Granger's talking about this loop, and it is. It's a loop that you play over and over and over of the traumatic visions that you see and what you could have done, and so that therapy truly helped me. I mean, I still have those visions, of course.

I always will for the rest of my life, but I can, on a lot. I honestly say that therapy has diminished those for me by about 80%. So if anybody is struggling with something like that or things that they remember or trauma, I recommend looking into that because that really helps those visions for me. Yeah, I actually love that tip because I know with me in any experience that I've had in my life where there's been grief, it comes in such waves. Like some are expected, obviously, but then some of it has been so unpredictable and kind of like this slideshow thing. you're saying like almost sometimes you wouldn't even realize you're doing that, you know,

but it's just like it's unconsciously happening. So what else has the grief looked like for you guys? Like is it just different every single day? It is. I mean, it's been a little over a year now. So we're slowly coming into, you know, peaceful situations and we're finding joy. But like you said, you can be hit out of nowhere with this wave of grief or a memory or a trigger of something. And then you just have to just have to.

fight through that. And another thing I've learned is that we, Granger and I grieve very differently. You know, how he grieves is going to be different than how I'm grieving. And there's no right or wrong way to grieve. And you have to, you have to really support each other and give each other grace to be able to handle something like this and to make it through that. Yeah, Amber, how, I mean, how in the world do you handle your grief and still, well, I guess this question could go for both you guys, but how do you deal with grieving the loss of one child while you're still parenting two other children? I think that it's just a, it's just something I have to, I don't have a choice.

You know, I have two other children. I have to take care of and they're, you know, I want them to be, to be raised and have a joyful life and, and to be, to be happy, but also to still remember their brother in a, in a good light and a happy way. And I don't want them to be traumatized. So we did put them in therapy, play therapy for about nine months. And it is hard because I'll be playing with them sometimes and laughing and, you know, truly laughing and having joy. And then there's that thing in the back of my mind that says, why are you laughing right now?

You know, you lost your son. Your son should be here. And so that's a fight. But it's just trying every day to do the best that you can and giving yourself grace because there's going to be days that are much harder than others. Yeah. Have you, I know you guys are both pretty, give a faith background. and you're pretty religious. And so has it at all,

have you battled with being mad at God and just like why would this happen? Because it just seems so unfair. Yeah. That's very natural to think. Why could, how could a God of the universe allow something so terrible to happen

or anything for that matter? And I kind of quickly put together that day that the only way to really answer that question is that if you believe in God, then you have to believe that he is all knowing, and he had Rivers days numbered. He has all of our days numbered, and he knew exactly what was happening,

exactly when it happened. Why? I have no idea, and that could torment me forever, why that could even be possible, but the fact that it could be possible that that that is that his days were numbered then that makes me think well then there has to be a purpose yeah there has to be there has to be something in his legacy that matters otherwise it doesn't it was a waste it was a it was just a tragedy that was gone forever so the only other way to look at it is there's a purpose there's there's something bigger than all this and And just thinking that and kind of diving into that thought was instantly healing for me to think, okay, I'm going to put my, anytime I feel that heavy grief, I'm going to put that into a drive of Rivers' legacy and how he could affect other people all the way to this podcast today. Right.

That if one person hears it and goes, you know what, I never really thought about that. I could get a pool alarm. I'm maybe I should I should do that. You know, and if that message could spread and spread and spread one person at a time, then you could look back at your question on being angry at God and you can go, maybe God needed River to save a bunch of lives. Yeah. I hate that. I hate it. I hate that.

But maybe maybe that's a purpose and it helps answer that question. I was reading that you guys are using the hashtag live like RIV. what does that mean to you? What does that mean every day? Well, Riv, he had a very special personality. He was extremely outgoing. He was very carefree and happy. He enjoyed being outdoors and barefoot and he had crazy red hair. And he liked going fast. Everything he did, he liked to go fast, faster, fast. faster, faster, whether that was a little tricycle when he was a little baby or as he got older and got into go-carts and things like that. But he loved adrenaline and wind in his face. And so when we think about Live Like Riv, it was instantly a live life to the fullest type sentiment where let's focus on today.

Let's not worry about tomorrow. We can't change the past. Let's enjoy today to the fullest like Riverwood. Yeah. I do think you guys have a huge platform now to talk about this. And I'm so, we're just in reading your story, I'm so, just in awe of how gracefully both of you have been doing this. And I also think that it's so amazing, the beauty of the realness between the two of you. And I was, I was reading about, I think Granger, it was on your Instagram page. You posted on your 10th anniversary. And the whole thing was just about, you know, we can post these pictures. of this perfect family and this perfect relationship, right? But like that you're more in love almost now because you guys have been through so many ups and downs. You're heavily flawed each of you and you accept each other as you are.

And I want to read it because the way you said it was so beautiful. But you said what I see is two people in a storm hanging on to God for truth and guidance like a lone fence post in the ravaging wind. I see a girl hurting, drawing on unimaginable strength just to continue. continue on with necessary motherly duties. Clinging to the Bible like it's a life raft hurling through an unknown sea, I see a man savagely battling a relentless demon, shielded only by faith and masking the crippling weakness bought on by his deep shame, his failure as a father.

But we're still in love stronger than ever before, but it feels different in its evolution now. It's not the fairy tale, but the vulnerability that fuels the fire. The very essence of what makes us human bounded by integrity and truth, but still fundamentally flawed that makes our love mature. It's always sweet to see a young couple exchange vows and rings, but it's truly special when you see the old couple holding hands on the sidewalk because you know the peaks and valleys they've climbed together,

the storms they've weathered, the matter love that's endured. That is the real fairy tale. I thought that was so incredibly beautiful. And you know, you often hear when a family loses a child that it can tear a relationship apart. So how do you feel that you guys have both leaned into each other in your grief instead of turning on each other? I think, I mean, it's kind of a hard question to answer, but, you know, I even had some friends asked me after it happened. You know, I don't know if I could have, I don't know if my marriage would have withstood, you know, losing this, losing a child. I can just honestly say there was never, you know, he could have blamed me that night because I didn't, you know, put river to bed or, you know, we just, when I,

I made that commitment to say I do. For me, it was honestly till death do us part, you know, for better or worse. And this is, this is part of the worst. This is, I hope one of the worst things we ever have to face as a couple. But I'm glad that he shares my same view on that on marriage and love. And we have a family and we are just committed to each other. We have just made that commitment to each other to stand together, understand that we're going to go through ups and downs in our lives. But it's leaning on each other and leaning on God that are going to get us through it. Granger, what about you? Yeah, it's hard to really answer that if I didn't already feel the way I did about Amber before the accident. Yeah. I think if we were fragile in any way or doubting in any way, this probably would have just ended it because I've seen that happen to other people close to us. But to me, it all boils down to one thing. I was out in the backyard with all three kids. Playing gymnastics with my daughter.

The boys were water gun fight. I looked over my shoulder and saw river in the pool. No matter how you added up, that's all on me. And when she came out of the house to help with CPR, from that day to this when she has not blamed me. She splits the blame. And that did it. I mean, that's it.

That's the only, that's why we're here. If she had come out and that's what tears people apart is if she has ever looked me in the eye and said, how could you do this? Yeah. How could you take your eye off of him? If she had ever once said those words, that would, that would be the crack that would just grow and grow and grow. Well, you both really talk a lot. now about finding joy. So how are you finding joy each day? The simple things really. And I think

maybe there's a lot of more, there's a lot of other people that could agree with me because of what 2020 has brought us. Right. That, you know, we have, a lot of us have turned back to just being grateful for today and the little things and, you know, a sunny day or a cool breeze. or a nice meal on an actual table with another person sitting across from the table. You know, but things, things that we might have taken for granted in 2019. That's where we're finding joy now. We haven't gone on vacations or gotten new cars. So I can't say anything for our joy besides today and God.

it sounds like a lot of present living to me yeah absolutely yeah absolutely and there's a little bit of a danger in in me preaching live in the present because it gives a little bit of a you know i don't care about anything rightality but it's but there's a difference between that and saying you know what i could prepare for tomorrow but i'm not going to rely on it and and you know phrases like dream home you know, things that we used to say, we don't say those things anymore. We say we're, we, we could plan for tomorrow. We could, we could, uh, have a, the five and 10 year plan, but we're really going to live for today. We're going to, we're going to find the best moments of today, knowing full well that tomorrow's not guaranteed at all. Right. I think it's just such a fine line like you're saying. I mean,

you obviously want to set goals in your life, but you also don't want to miss what's right in front of you. Yep, absolutely right. Amber, if you had to say one thing that you would want Rivers' legacy to bring, what would it be? Oh, my gosh. That's really hard to answer. I think just like Granger said, just to be in the present moment and enjoy each other and just love each other. And River always knew that Jesus was his friend. and I I he's already his legacy is already bringing this you know you asked how we find joy and I get so many messages from people that say you know I was turning away from my faith I didn't trust God anymore but your story has brought me back to church your story has brought me back to God and I think that to me means so much for his little legacy you know bringing people to bringing people to heaven for sure and then on the earthly side of things saving lives you know I've had to be one

so many people say we installed a pool gate because of you. I put my kids in lessons because of you. So as much as this hurts that we don't have our son physically here, his legacy is doing so much already. And he's changed so many lives in his short little life on earth, you know, than many people do in their whole lifetime. So, thank you. A little boy floating on us back. Oh, yeah. I heard a story the other day that a babysitter was watching some children and the littlest one just, you know, in the blink of an eye, if you go to the bathroom, he snuck away, and he made it through the gate. And she had found him in the pool, but he was floating. And he was taking his breath because their parents had heard of our story and it put him in the ISR lesson.

So she said, if you ever don't feel like you're saving lives, you at least saved one today. That just means so much. I bet. Granger, would you contribute anything to that? Yeah. My focus for River's legacy truly is it starts with our two children here. And my number one goal above saving other family's lives and above everything is that they grow up without regrets or sadness or they only think of River is a little bundle of joy and forever their little brother. and no pain or sorrow connected with any kind of PTSD as they get older that they have to deal with.

And that's definitely been a challenge for Evernight, but man, I got to say right now, I think it's doing great because I don't see remnants of that. Everything seems to be a smile when we talk about River. And, you know, like I said, they were both with me. London, my little girl, she was facing the pool. So when I went in after a river, she was right there with me. Then she was, what, seven years old when it happened. So that could be something that carries what there, the rest of her life. And so that's my number one goal is make sure that that memory turns into a lesson of recovery and peace and understanding grief.

Yeah. I know you've said that being on the road and performing has been, it's been very healing for you. Why is that? What's healing about it? Yeah. At first it was terrible. Why? It was really terrible. Going out and, you know, I knew I had to. It was the lesser of two eagles because I didn't want to be at home. That's the last way to be at home. Yeah. So I took the family and we hit the road. And those first few shows, I remember, we're up. and kind of almost up in the northwest and we were started in Montana I believe and so it was a great place to go Montana is an amazing place to go if you're wanting to grieve and feel start to feel nature around you but but going out on stage I just it felt meaningless it just really felt it felt worthless singing some lyrics to some people so that that they could just party. And I really had to wrap my brain around re-engaging and why it mattered to play music. And I quickly understood it. It took a few months to realize that a lot of people were looking at me to see how I was going to react. Yeah.

Like, what's this guy going to? Is this guy going to freak out? Is this guy going to cry on stage or do something weird? Or is he even going to show up at all? And so I kind of thought, okay, well, here. we go. This is something. I'll go out there and and I'll try to give them the best show I can and show them that I'm going to stand up for my little boy and life is not going to stop. And that was kind of a message I wanted to send because there's a lot of people there that

were going through losses. Everyone is. Everyone is going through it or about to go through it or dealing with it from 10 years ago, but everyone knows how that feels at some level. And I think it's important message to say, you got to get up, you got to comb your hair, you got to brush your teeth, you got to put one foot in front of the other,

and you have to go. You have to. Keep showing up. Yep. Have you, is there anything new musically that we can look forward from you in the next coming months? Yeah, there's going to be a new album, September 25th.

Nice. And it's going to be divided up into two volumes, Volume 1, September 25th, Volume 2, November 27th. So there's a lot of music. I was going to release an album in 2019. That was always the plan. And then that year got turned upside down. And then it got pushed to this year, which this year was also too. Yeah.

So there's going to be 16 songs, needless to say. And I'm happy with it. I really am. A lot of it was written during a crazy time. And so although I'm not going to get into specific stuff about River in these songs, you could definitely feel the emotion of what our family was living. I know for me, especially just in this pandemic, I've been listening to so much music. So I'm always really excited when there's new music coming out.

I also need to talk about Earl Dibbles. Can we talk about him for a second? Yeah. Explain to people who Earl is. Yeah, Earl is an alter ego, lack of a better term, an ultra-country boy, is what I like to say. Ultra-country boy, I like that. It started in 2011, and I was promoting an album at the time, and my brothers and I, who we all work together in management, they were coming up with just trying to think of some videos

that would go viral to help promote the album in 2011. and Earl was just another idea that was ultra-country boy kind of represented some people we had known and some family members we'd knew. And let's just go way over the top and just make this funny guy and have him sit on the porch and talk about country things and how mad he is about the city. And that went viral. And then a year later, I wrote a song for him and put out a music video for him. And then that went viral. And so then I added that to the show. and then it became a really fun part of our show.

So the next album, I did another song for him, and then we added that to the show. So then then fast forward to 2020, it's just become, it's really integrated into, strangely enough, into what I do, just this crazy country boy comes out at the end of the show and sings a song, and then there's random videos I'll put up with him, and he has his own Instagram pages. And so it's surprisingly not very strange after nine years.

definitely something I absolutely love Earl. I love becoming him and singing songs for him and the creative release that it gives me. Well, I have to tell you, I mean, I obviously knew who you were just from being in the country music world, but during this pandemic, my boyfriend, he is a little bit of a country boy himself,

and he was like quoting something that Earl says. I can't even remember what it was right now. Maybe it was Yee, or something. But anyway, he shows me the videos. We watched, Probably for an hour straight, just dying laughing. I mean, it's so spot on.

If you guys haven't checked it out, I mean, is YouTube the best place to go find it or just Google Earl Dibbles? Yeah, you could either one, but yeah, YouTube is kind of where it all started. Yes, if you need a good laugh, I feel like Earl is your guy. He's the place to go. I just want to say thank you guys so much for being vulnerable and just open about this story. I really do appreciate that and the honesty. and I know it's never going to be easy to talk about. So I just really appreciate you showing up for that

and what you're doing for educating people. And is there anything that we could do as just, you know, myself or listeners, is there any sort of things set up for River or like what we could do to help you guys? So after River Pass, we knew we just wanted to keep his little legacy going. And so we created the River Kelly Fund. And that's river-kelly fund.org.

And people, you can just donate as little or as much as you like. And we've set it up to be able to help out all different areas of the community. So we've helped with drowning prevention. We've helped with the Tennessee Tornado Relief Fund. We've helped recently with a wildlife organization in Alaska. We've helped with citizens with disabilities, children's hospitals. So it's set up to help anywhere that there is a need. So we set that up to help keep his little legacy go.

Riverkellyfund.org. Riverkellyfund.org. And then where can people find you guys on social media if they just want to keep up with your story? So my Instagram is at Amber Emily Smith. And mine is everything as Granger Smith on all the socials. Amazing. Thank you guys again so much for being here

and for sharing your story with us. You guys go check out both Amber and Granger and Riverkellyfund.org. Just if you feel the need to help or you want to get involved in this. Thank you guys again. Thank you so much, Kelly. All right.

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