The Bobby Bones Show - BONUS: Get Real: Round Table Talk with Tyler and Hayley Hubbard On navigating marriage, parenting, careers, trusting God,

Episode Date: December 25, 2019

We start this conversation with discussing the importance of learning each other’s love languages. Then Tyler tells his love story with Hayley and lets us know who initiated the first kiss ;). We talk secrets for making time for each other in the midst of busy music careers, Tyler being in Florida Georgia Line and Michael in A Thousand Horses. We also dive into parenting and how guys view it verses women, plus how we work together. Hayley and I share how essential our mama tribe is and what we share and learn from each other. We discuss why finding time for ourselves is as crucial as date nights with our spouse. We also talk about God and the importance of weaving him into every aspect of our lives and why we shouldn’t be scared of failing. This convo is as real as it gets! Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Thanks for checking out the Bobby Bone Show podcast. Since you're here, wanted to share an episode with you of my podcast called Get Real with Caroline Hobby. Each week I sit down and talk with the wives of your favorite country artist plus other incredible women. I'm married to a country music artist myself, Michael Hobby, from a thousand horses. And recently I had Tyler Hubbard from Florida Georgia Line on the podcast with his amazing wife, Haley, along with my husband Michael in a roundtable talk. We talked about secrets for making time for each other in the midst of busy music careers. Plus, we dive into parenting and how guys view it

versus women and how we work together and so much more. I'd love for you to come and check out more episodes, subscribe on Apple Podcast, listen on IHeartRadio, or wherever you get your podcast. Right now, here's my episode of Get Real with Caroline Hobby featuring Tyler Hubbard, his wife Haley, and my husband Mike. I'm pretty excited. I'm doing a little podcast mini series right now called Roundtable Talk. I'm just calling it Roundtable Talk. It's not technically called Roundtable Talk. But it's not just me sitting down having a one-on-one interview with one person talking about their lives and all the amazing things about their life. This is more about a conversation about real life stuff going on currently in this moment. So I'm kicking it off with my husband. Michael is

joining me. I'm so excited. And then Haley and Tyler Hubbard. And we are having the realest conversation ever. We're talking about marriage. We're talking about career. We're talking about babies. We're talking about babies affect marriage. We're talking about God. We are literally talking about it all. And it's real and we're honest and we're open. And so I'm very excited to share this with you guys. Here is my husband Michael, Haley and Tyler Hubbard and myself. Okay, hi everyone. Hey. So this is a first that I've done for my podcast. It's a couples podcast, which is really exciting. And my very own husband is joining me. I did it. How do you feel, babe? Good. Are you nervous? No. Michael, we've really been talking about a lot of personal things.

lately so I feel like we might as well to share them all with the world right just like getting to the core of ourselves yeah that's what I want I want to hear the core of Michael and Caroline Hobby right now we have Haley and Tyler Hubbard joining us and this podcast idea came about because Haley texts me and you're like I think we should really talk about some real life stuff and I was like I think we should too and then of course like give me a tiny little nugget I'm like let's just do a podcast is like get it going and do it immediately and share all the things and here we are and we made it happen with them like a week i know i'm proud of us so what inspired you to want to like talk about some

real stuff you know i think just with our girls mom's text that we have going on it's just been so nice to have everyone to lean on and to get advice and to help share advice and to just kind of circulate all of that, all of our fears and excitements and victories in life. And so I'm like, let's just share that with other people. But I think it was our walk that we really were like, okay, we need to do this. We need to make this happen.

And we're all, like Michael and are new parents. We have a seven week old. We've been two weeks behind you guys with baby Luca. Now you all have two kids. You have a two month old and almost, is she lived two years old? She's almost two. And I think that's what, encourage us to join this mom's group, our walking group, because we're all just like

in the trenches trying to figure this out. Right. How to navigate marriage, how to navigate babies, how to navigate careers. And it's just overwhelming sometimes. Oh, all the time. I mean, marriage is a whole other ballgame once you put kids into the mix, as we all know. And I don't know, but just be good to gain knowledge and share knowledge in that department. So how have you guys navigated your marriage, starting with live? with like how did y'all what was your love story like when y'all met like how did y'all meet and was it instant and did you know right away that this is the one let tyler share yeah i'll try to make this short and sweet but we met through a mutual friend initially we were just kind of friends and we

were hanging out and uh so much to the point where haley was trying to set me up with one of her friends and i'm like no i ain't i ain't really feeling that so we anyways we uh we were hanging and one thing kind of led to the next and after a few months of kind of hanging out I was on the road at the time super busy so we weren't hanging out a ton but um ended up we had a wine and cigars night at one of our friends' houses and uh that was July 1st and I remember that date because that was the first night um that Haley kissed me. Haley kissed you? Okay wait wait what Haley? I'm just playing I'm just kidding we still debate to this date but I assume the story.

But no, that was kind of the night where we both kind of, oh, there's something here. So we ended up hanging out quite a bit shortly thereafter. And I think we both felt something special and kind of knew pretty quickly that, you know, this was leading somewhere. And Haley was moving to California a few weeks after that. And that was her plan. She had already had a roommate and a room set up. Prior to that. Oh, was it?

Yeah. I thought you were going to let me tell the story. Oh, you can tell it. But you forgot. That was when we were actually, that was when I was supposed to move. What was the first night that we kissed? Oh, that's right. Oh, that put a wrench in it.

Yeah. So, yeah, then I told her. Must be a good kisser. My line at the time was, you should pray about it. So that's what I told her. I was like, I don't think you should move to California. I think you should pray about it. And I was kind of kidding.

But at the same time, I think she took me serious and actually thought about, man I really hadn't prayed about this. So kind of went home and prayed about it, asked God for a sign, and she was signing her lease on her apartment at work, and her boss came up to her behind her and told her that he would double her salary if she would stay in Nashville. So that was her son.

If you ask for a sign, they really do show up. I think at times is pretty obvious like that. You know, I think God's kind of got a sense of humor too. It's a good deal, too. So, yeah, right? She ended up quitting her job, but just using that as a sign to stay in Nashville, and, you know, we hung out a ton and shortly thereafter, we were engaged and getting married

six months later. And, yeah, it was, you know, I think we both knew pretty quickly. It wasn't love at first sight, if you will. But it was definitely, you know, love pretty quick. And we knew it was something special. So, yeah, that's kind of the short version of our love story. And, yeah, it's pretty cool. I mean, obviously it was something special because y'all just had one kiss, like you're saying.

You know, that must have been a real good kiss because y'all hadn't even really started dating yet. It's fresh, fresh. Yeah, it was fresh. But like I said, we were so busy that, and because she had just quit her job, she was kind of in between jobs. And I was selfishly like, hey, you want to just come on the road with me? And when I'm home, can we just hang out all the time? Like, we were together pretty much every day after that. So you had already started music going on the road all the time.

Yeah, we had just gotten a bus. We were sort of past the really, really roughening it stage. Like the double mucking all the time? why she probably wouldn't, you know, join me on the road. But we were definitely, we were sharing a bunk for a while. That's fun. We've shared a bunk a long time. We also had 12 dudes on the bus.

So you guys have probably been there. So you get to know each other quickly, you know, to say the least. I'd say six or eight months later, we moved in to the same house together and just to save money to be honest and then realized how amazing that was. and yeah, I asked her to marry me pretty soon thereafter and talked about raising kids at our farm and how amazing that was going to be.

And then she told me about, after we got married, that she didn't want to beat the farm, so change the plan skirt. But it was all, it was all for the better anyways. Now that we live in town, it's really convenient. And we have the farm to get away to. So you all started in the country together.

We did. And that's when I learned that men do not take hints. You have to communicate clearly to them because I told Tyler when I was ready, when I wanted to move to town, that I'd been hinting for the last year and a half that it wasn't going to work out at the farm. And he was like, well, this is the first time I'm hearing about it. And men don't communicate in hints. So that's true. At that point, that was my turning point and actually really communicating what my needs are to him.

That literally was like a moment for you at Mark Time. Like I've got to speak up and say directly what I feel. Yes. Because I just thought people could read my mind and could. They should be able to. You could just sense how I was feeling, but that was not the case. I mean, obviously, no one can read minds. So I've worked on expressing my needs. Was that something that did, does that come natural for you to express your needs?

Or did you feel like you had to like work on that? It's still something I have to work on and be conscious about. I'm a two on the enigram. So you're a helper. Yes. So you probably put your needs last and you see how. you can help everyone else first, probably especially the ones you love the most. Right.

What are you on the Nanyram? I'm a three. So that's an achiever. If you're a seven, which is the enthusiast. Hey, what a great deal. I'm a four, which is the romantic. Okay, so I think that's great. All of the Noreenogram.

We actually try to play an enneagram game failed royally, card game. Don't get that off. That game is for the birds. Off of Instagram. Buy that game. So let's kind of talk about that. Like how do your personalities match? Because we'll talk about ours too, because obviously I know, and I know ours a lot, but we'll share that.

But how does an achiever and a helper go together, especially with very busy lives and kids? How do you make that work and communicate? That's a good question. For me, I've just been really focusing on. She helps me achieve. Yeah, that's good. Help her achieve her, guess. It takes a team.

I don't know, actually. You want to go with that one? You know, I think the anagram is interesting because, you know, I don't think it's the end-all-be-all. I think it's a cool way to help understand each other's personalities. But I would say overall, we're just a really good team. And that's kind of been our saying since we got married is, hey, we're a team. But it does help me understand, you know, qualities about Haley, that, It helped me communicate better with her and vice versa.

But overall, you know, I think we're just a team. This is a terrible answer, but so maybe next question. Well, okay, speaking of team, because I do think especially now that you're like marriage, like once you've been married for a while, have a kid, how do you feel like, how do you feel like our team dynamic is, babe? well you are organizer and scheduler yeah which i love and i'm not a god that follows the sheet i know michael's like send me a day sheet of what i need to do for signing today i'm like i work well okay in that type of environment um i mean team wise we just it's being a good team we just work well together and we move well together and you you let me be me and you're flexible with schedule and

you're not, you're not sentimental about things. You know, it's like, you know, a birthday. Like, you celebrate it, but, or like, anniversary. Like, you're really like, well, every day's anniversary. Like, at Valentine's Day is every day. Yeah. Like, we can, you know, you're just laid back and cool like that, which makes it easier on me.

But that's just years of being with you and understanding, like, your love language is words of affirmation. So. And I sometimes, like, for my birthday or Christmas, I'm like, you don't have to give anything, but please write me a three-page love letter. Like, think about it. Take some time. That's highly too.

I want you to write out specific things that you love about me. Not just, you're great. I need a long, long list. Yeah. I'm like doing that. A couple times a year, yeah. I love getting cards. That's all I want, but I don't want like a quick breezy card.

I want like a thoughtful card where you have like specifically listed things that you love about me and noticed. Yep. One day we need to get together and with a plan to write a song and instead we'll just write, we'll spend three hours and just write a long thought out. A song would work too. A very specific song. If it's under three minutes. If it's under three minutes, but if it's totally directed towards us.

A thousand percent. Then. There you go. We can do that. I want to know that he went out and planned that, okay, it's her birthday. I'm going to go get the card. I'm going to write the card.

I don't want the card to have been like planted by her assistant. I want it to be thought out, you know, a well thought out thing. And I do think that is the different, like one of the, I don't know, some men may be super sentimental, but I used, when we first got married to start dating, like, I would drive to where you were and put a card in your windshield with all these thoughts. And you didn't even care. Like, you didn't even. I thought it was sweet.

But you could have cared less. It's just, I just thought it was sweet. And I was like, well, you know, but I mean, you read it and you're like, well, it's really nice. And I'm like, that would have made my whole day. But that's what you're like quality time. Yes. Over any of that. Yes. You're all about quality time. Yeah. And I don't gifts, I'm not a gift guy like you don't have to give me gifts or anything but i mean if you want to you can't but you want like you want if you want a gift you're going to buy it yourself because you're only going to want like things that you like yeah it's like little things for me it's like you know

getting picked up from the airport i hate ubers you know yeah i'm with that okay so tyler you said you wrote a song yesterday about heyley what inspired it and what is the song about uh it's called invisible is this what you were dancing to live yeah yeah which was the cutest thing ever. I know. It was so cute. She made my day. But it's just the concept of sometimes, like, you know, I'll be in the spotlight a lot of times and people forget that how valuable. And, you know, for me, I just want to make sure I remind Haley on a regular basis. Like, you're the real star in this situation. Like, all I do is get up there and sing songs or go write songs or whatever. But to me, you're like the, you're the rock star in our relationship.

and sometimes it gets overlooked. And I do feel like just a good reminder, you know what I mean, to make sure she knows that because it's important. And everybody around me to know that too, like, I don't know, just a big part of our dynamic. And I would not be who I am anywhere close to who I am without Haley around. So it's just kind of that idea behind that a little bit. What are some things you love most about Haley?

The first thing I was really attracted to Haley about was, or attracted to Haley too, was her overall kind of aura and how she's so relaxed and calm. Amen to that. And just handles herself with grace. Like even in where I might be all uptight or like anxious or like, you know, not nervous really per se, but I would just, anytime I get wound up, I just look at Haley and she's just so like calm and just like nothing faces her bothers her. She's self-spoken. and it's just good energy. So instantly, like, when I first met her, I was like, man, I love being around this girl. And she just, she balances me out really well.

And I learned so much from her. So that's the first thing. And then as I got to know her, there's a lot of things that I love about her. I love how she loves people so much. She is a genuine helper. She wants to help everybody with anything, even if they don't want help. You know? So I've had to work on that a little bit.

Boundaries. But she's just such a loving person with such a big heart and wants to help people. So yeah, that's the first, the two things that come to mind is just, and now having kids together watching her be a mom is just like, I just fall more and more in love with her. But initially, that was the outward things that I really was attracted to. It was just kind of her overall aura and how she carries herself. I second that, Haley. you are the most relaxed laid-back person I have ever met.

You're so calm. Like the word I would always use for you is just calm and peaceful. Just very peaceful and calm. And where does that come from? Thank you. Thank you guys. I'm tearing up. Just let it out.

We're hormonal. We can cry anytime we feel like it. All these emotions. You know, I think deep down it stems from just this innate, knowing that God's got everything under control. And I would say that's probably the root of it. Just like, okay. How do you know that?

This is really a big deal in the big scheme of things. Where did that faith in God so strong come from such a young age? I don't know. I just, I don't know. I think it's just in me. Holy Spirit, whatever you want to call it. That's awesome. I don't know.

It just, um, It's part of who I am and I guess I've just tried to kind of laugh things off if and try not to make things such a big deal Just interject a little bit. I will say some of your biggest influences are like from your mom and from mama Kim as well He's very I mean I would say your parents have a Pretty calming aura about them too. They're pretty relaxed and they're pretty easy going and they kind of have a optimistic outlook on life and then probably her second her second family I would say is a lady named Kim who's the same way I look up to her so much she's just so graceful and calm and uplifting and optimistic and just good people to be around

and I think that's that has to have a pretty big influence on you and I think yeah I think that's a choice too that you make we were just talking about that this morning that you know, you wake up some days and not everyone just feels super positive and happy every morning. It's definitely a choice you have to make and to be intentional about it every day. I'll say you do that better for me than I have a natural tendency to like get super emotional about stuff and I could like fall down a rabbit hole of feelings. Like I could really just like just sink into my feelings and like live at the bottom of them. But you always find a way to spin it.

Like you'll always spin it and you'll find a positive way to view something. And how do you how do you do that? I mean, how did you, how do you find that? You know, I think it's like Haley said, it's like you wake up every day and you make a choice, you know, even when things, you know, aren't going your way or, you know, you're frustrated. you just, there's a reason why you're frustrated, so you just kind of, I always try to get to the source of that first, and then usually you overcome it, and then you look at, you know, gratitude is a huge thing. I mean, you just, if you look around, you know, you got a roof over your head, you got, you know, I got you, you know, I got you, you know, I got you, now we have a daughter. So it's like there's a lot of good to focus on, opposed to just a moment of, you know, frustration or emotion, in my opinion. Do you feel like you've always been that way? Yeah, I've always been a pretty positive person, you know, and, I never, it's like as cliche as the one door closes another one opens type thing. It really is true, and those things happen for a reason. And I think navigating through those things is the most important way with a positive attitude,

and you'll get your best results. So, I mean, life's pretty good when you wake up. And I want to talk about this because, and I know this is like a new thing that you're talking about lately, and I'm just going to help you open this up. You recently posted about your brother. Yeah, for sure. Who passed away. And that's been a really hard topic for you to talk about in the past.

But you're wanting to talk about it now and like view it. You view it in, you're viewing it in a celebration. Yeah, which I always have. It's just not something I share. You know, I don't want to go into a room and be like, hey, check it out, guys. You want to get to know me? Yeah. Like, it's just a part of my life that is a painful part of my life, but also a happy part of my life.

You know, and everybody's suffered loss in some way, you know, and how you'd cope with that and deal with that. I think that probably is why I grew up or being positive because I was always positive in that situation, you know, because you had to be. Plus, I was a kid, so I really, you know, I just wanted to play in the mud and, you know, ride four-wheeler's. That was what we wanted to do.

So we didn't look at it. You know, I think what hit me most this year about it is now I have a child. And like looking at her and then finally feeling what my parents, not feeling what they felt, understanding a little bit more of like like holy shit like what did that do to them like we were just kids you know so I think that's like timing wise this year is why and it was 20 years ago which is crazy yeah it flew by that that's where I felt

they need to express it because you know people always go I understand I understand it's like you don't really because you've never been there so now that I've we have a child it just kind of hit me a little harder like looking at her what do you understand now more than you didn't before well i mean what you mean like you said now you understand more where your parents are coming from well i can i can i can imagine what their perspective of what they felt you know on a big level and then trying to keep a family together on top of all that you know it's it's it's it's just a what a load to carry you know and you know a lot of people stay together and they grow through something like that and most couples and families just disperse.

You either go one or two ways. Yeah. Yeah. So I finally understand both ways. Mm-hmm. And you have more forgiveness and grace. You gotta have people grace. I mean, geez.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. Totally. You know, and everybody deals with things differently, you know. So. Not to backtrack, but to piggyback off what you were saying, I think that having the heart of gratitude, I forget the phrase, but basically, is really impossible to be to be

unhappy if you can maintain a state of gratitude. That's not saying like always being happy or never looking at life in a negative way, but we play the gratitude game, which sounds really silly, but a lot of times, like, hey, like, what are you grateful for? And so I'll have to think of stuff, which is not that hard, but at

times it's like, why am I, why do I feel this way? Like, and then almost instantly the gratitude brings you out of that and helps you get a perspective. of like okay I have a lot to be thankful for you know there's no there's no reason to yeah to be pessimistic in this situation or whatever so we've tried to incorporate that even with like live and stuff like what are we grateful for just to start trying to you know plant those thoughts in her mind

and help her understand the the power of being grateful you know what I mean for for every little thing you know even life in general absolutely so it's you know it's powerful it helps us shift our perspective a little bit from just being kind of like oh the second I start thinking about something in a negative light that's when like okay that's my trigger I need to think of what I'm grateful for because it's so easy to go down that rabbit hole of it's so easy and even through loss or something super heavy like there's always like silver lining you know that you can kind of focus on our situations to be

grateful for and I know we've talked a little bit about that, but yeah, just through life in general, I think there's a lot of power and the gratitude, you know, of everything. Yeah, snap's out of your funk. And, you know, yeah, it's just, it works. I don't know how, but it's hard to do sometimes. A lot of people don't do it, you know, but it's simple things that, you know, there's always going to be a bigger house or a nicer car or more money or success

and somebody's doing this and better than you or whatever it may be all shapes and sizes. But if you just focus on what you have, like, and have gratitude towards it, I think naturally you'll be happy and those things will grow too, you know?

And totally, I don't know, it's kind of where I stand on. I'm with you. Great gratitude is a good thing, especially when you're having a shit day. Something I've been really trying to use gratitude

towards lately is now that we have Sunny, like I have the ability to let a little bit of, lot of fear creeping into my life. Like I could just cry thinking about it. Like, because I can just go to like these things that you, terrible things that you hear that happen to your child, like people's children.

And it's like how do you not live in that fear, you know? So how do you not live in that fear? Brinna, oh, sorry. No, I was going to say that's the God thing. You're the God thing. Totally. Yeah. Knowing that, you know, he's in control and it's out of our control.

but I think it was a Bray Brown book, and she was saying, you know, every time you start having those thoughts, because we all have those thoughts as parents, like you think of that horrific thing that could possibly happen. And even if that thing didn't or did happen,

nothing's going to ever prepare you for that moment. So don't worry about it, you know? That's true. And so that's where she says to shift it to gratitude. Every time you're looking at your child and you have that moment where you're like, oh my gosh, what if this happened? Shift it to, I'm so grateful.

I've got this beautiful, healthy child and my family, and it kind of snapped you out of it. Because nothing will ever prepare you for that moment and what you are worried about would never even happen. Right, irrational fears that we all have. Yeah, it's natural, though. That is such a good perspective. And my sister told me that too.

Catherine said she was like every day she says every day has to be a good day and then also like why miss out on enjoying the moments that you have with people that you love the most with your children because you're worrying about something that most likely will never happen and is out of your control right right so then you miss out on your life with people that you love because you're stressing out about something that will be in the moment. Yeah, you're not in the moment. Yeah, you're in a fear. And that's ego and that's trying to control and not giving it up to God.

So I guess you just have to give everything up to God all the time, but how do you stay in that place? So what's that the book of Four Agreements, like, be impeccable with your word, don't take anything personal, no fear, all faith. Oh, wait, be impeccable with your word, don't take anything personal, don't make assumptions. Yeah, and no fear or all faith. Is that right? No, that's extra. And there's one more. So four agreements.

Yes. If you apply that. I think at the same time we're all human. And it's obviously difficult not to live or at least have fears or you see your friend go through a tragedy and think, man, how in the world would I get through that? Or whatever the case is. But at the same time, I think it's being aware and having that mindset and knowing, man, today I feel fearful. let me just let me remind myself and ask God to remind me hey like I am not in control of my life you know what I mean and right now he has me in this beautiful place this beautiful kid or this beautiful

marriage or whatever the case is and let's just live in this today and not worry about tomorrow yeah so I think there's a quite a few times in the Bible where it mentions don't worry about tomorrow for it has enough words of itself or give us this day our daily bread Like, it talks about just worry about today. We can't change yesterday and we can't control tomorrow. So, like, just worry about today. And then hopefully with that awareness, it can help us all because I think as humans, like, especially in this culture, like, it's pretty natural to worry.

It's pretty natural to try to control the situations. And, you know, so I think that's just a good reminder. And I think we're all there mentally. So just, yeah, we just got to remind each other and be a support of us. for each other and just know when we're having those fears to like you say just give it up to god i know that sounds so like sunday-school answer but uh but it's true you know so absolutely my okay so i have a very philosophical question that i would like to see what y'all's thoughts are about me my mom's a philosophy professor so we grew up having to like analyze all of our

thoughts and lives why like i look at at Sunny, you look at Luca and live. And they're these fresh lives that have just come into the world. They're still so close to heaven, you know, like, they're closer to heaven than they are to Earth right now. And it's like, I look at Sunny and I'm like, what do you know about the other side? You know, like, and why did you come here? Like, I think to myself, like, what is it that she is wanting to accomplish in her life or experience or like, because I personally believe that, like, we all have spirits and souls and, like, we're in this earth to experience. something because then we're all going back

to the other side, back to heaven, back to God. So it's like, why did she choose to come here? So why do you guys think that we come to this earth? Like, why are we living? Why do we not just all stay in pure, positive heaven? Why is it that we come to

this earth experience? Do you notice I turn to Tyler? She does that when the hard questions come at us. That's a good question. I think that's a difficult question, but at the same time, I think it's simple. And it's, you know, for what we believe and for our faith, and what I've been learning lately,

is kind of going back to the one day at a time, live a simple life. And you know what? Like our ultimate goal, well, I think as humans, we're all built and made. No matter what you believe, we're here for connection. And I think we're here to connect with other humans and connect with God. And the Bible says, again, And to reference the Bible, it says our number one calling is to love God and to love people. And so I truly think it's just as simple as that.

I think it's, you know, to kind of sum it up, I think it's just to love people and to love God and to connect. And obviously there's a lot of layers under that and there's a lot of confusion and a lot of, you know, in the 20th century, I think there's a lot of fogginess around what our, you know, what our purposes and all this and that. And I think we as humans also, we put a, we put a, we wrap a purpose around a career or we wrap a purpose around a relationship. And we wrap a purpose around, you know, a dynamic with a family or anything like that. And we say, well, my purpose is to be a good dad, or my purpose is to be a husband, my purpose is to be a songwriter or an artist. Like you have to have a purpose. Right. But I don't, but I think ultimately all that's, all that's, all that.

just fun activities along the way or you know I think I still think all that's kind of ordained by God and I think that we're that is part of our purpose but the ultimate purpose I think for us being on earth is especially as believers is to love God and to love love your neighbor and to show them the love of God so I don't know I think that's at least that's for me that's that's where I kind of try to go back to and try to keep that perspective on a daily basis Especially in our busy, crazy life where we think so many things are important and this is important. Got to take this meeting.

Got to write this song. Got to sign this artist. Got to do this. Got to play these shows. And da-da-da-da. It's like, man, let's not forget the big picture here. Like, ultimately, when we pass away, when people are at our funeral talking about us, what do we want them talking about? How well we love people, in my opinion.

And not how many songs we wrote or how many shows we played or how much money we made. I think that can sometimes turn, you know, distract us. from the ultimate purpose. Totally. Yeah, having that human experience is, I agree with him. All that other stuff is just, you're just doing stuff, you know, but yeah, being nice to people and love one another and give to one another and, you know, like I said, it's like, it all just kind of feeds itself.

And I get reminded of that often when, like, I'll just take time to go have coffee with someone or maybe, like, help somebody out. I feel like it's just like, oh, this is what I need to do today. And I'll actually go do that. And I feel so fulfilled and so whole and so like, wow, like that was the best thing I could have done today. And maybe it didn't, maybe it didn't pay me or maybe it didn't, you know, maybe I don't have anything to physically show for it. But man, my heart was full and I can tell that's what my purpose for that day was. And so I think just keeping that perspective is important.

And I've just been reminded of that often lately. It just, you know, through little experiences and things I've had, it's just like, okay, like, I'm on the right track here. And, you know, not too distracted. This week. Next week, I'll probably be distracted. Right. Totally. Why do you think we have to go through painful experiences?

Why does that, why is that such a part of this human existence? Why do we have to fail? Why do we have to feel pain? Why is that essential for us as humans? inevitable but like why is it inevitable it didn't have to be but that's the way this whole life has been

designed that's a good question by the higher power Tyler what are you all doing over here I think with the hard question I mean when I do go through hard things

it helps me have empathy for other people that are going through hard things and I find myself when I do need to be there for someone else I've referred back to the time when I had a really difficult time and so empathy empathy

but again I don't know why we have to go through hard things I don't you know it'd be nice if God put us in a perfect world and there was no pain and there was no sadness and there was no but then again we'd be living in a very robotic world wherever well what do you learn I mean when you go through pain you go through hard times you're always learning something and it's always a faith building for me it's

It's a lot about faith building, you know what I mean, and actually having to lean in on God and trust him and know, man, we as humans can't even wrap our head around what God's doing. Like, we can't even begin to fathom, like, his ultimate purpose and plan. And I think it just creates a demand for Jesus, to be honest, you know, the hard times in life and the way that he can give us peace when there's no reason to be peaceful or you know what I'm saying or give us comfort in times of you know times of need or times of pain and you know for me I've experienced that in a few times in life where it's just like

okay God like I know you're here I know you're with me I can feel you I can feel you comforting me and giving me peace and what does that feel like it just it's hard to explain but it does feel like okay I should be so upset right now and I am sad but like like when I lost my dad I feel like it was a moment where I kind of prayed right after, all right, God, like, I need you right now, like hardcore. And I'm either going to go this way, I'm going to go that way. And I really want to choose you, and I really want to go this direction. So help me out.

And, like, I prayed that prayer almost instantly, and I could truly just feel, like, almost, I was just almost smile about it. And it lasted for a while, and it was still a journey, for sure, especially, like, months after that, you know, of just the healing process and the grief. and all that but I could just feel God with me and I think to go back and kind of talk about what Michael was saying earlier about being a parent now I feel like you can kind of get the perspective of our relationship with God because it says that

everybody on earth is a child a son or daughter of God and to be able to take that perspective now of man he'll do anything for me like he's got me he wants to take care of me he wants to protect me when when we've and hurt our knees or whatever the case may be, like, he's going to be there to help us feel better. He's going to be there to help us heal. You know what I'm saying? You're still going to fall and hurt your knees. But if you didn't fall and hurt your knees, you'd have no need for your dad.

So I feel like there's a big, there's an underlying kind of, I think God uses that to draw us into him. You know what I'm saying? And it also gives us more faith and it encourages us to have to rely on him. Because sometimes, I've been there a few times in life where you hit the bottom and you're like, look, I got nowhere else to go. but up, you know, I mean, like, I'm just going to trust God here and see what happens. I hear he's, you know, I hear he's a good, good father. I hear he's going to take care of us and all this stuff, so I'm going to test it out and and he does.

Do you feel like hitting the bottom is actually kind of a blessing sometimes? Yeah, I do. You know, I think it's an eye-opening experience for anybody, and you realize, man, I'm not in control. I need help, which we all do. You know what I mean? And I'm not invincible. and I'm not as strong as I think I am

and just all those things. It's very humbling. So whether it's, you know, I think that many different definitions are hitting the bottom, but, you know, you lose your best friend or your dad or your brother or anybody, that feels pretty close to the bottom.

Like, how can I get over to this? You know what I mean? So anyways, yeah, I think, again, I think it's just part of God's purpose and plan to draw us closer to him. I totally agree with that. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I don't think about the father perspective.

Like, that's wild. I've been listening to some messages lately, and it's even like the simplest things, like, that reminds me, okay, like, like, as a parent, now we know, like, we would never, we would never let our kids go out in the cold without clothes on. Or if they're, if they're doing something, we would die, if we'd do anything for our kids, anything. And I feel like to have that perspective and realize, man, that. that's what God will do for us and probably even more. You know what I mean? Like, he did do that for us. So it's like, okay, let me just try to wrap my head around this level of love that sometimes we forget about, you know, because it's not, you know, it's not a tangible or always audible thing right in front of us.

You know what I mean? Like, obviously we're there to wake our kids up every morning and God's not always standing in our living room shaking us to wake us up. But at the same time, in retrospect, I feel like it kind of is. You know, so if you can have that mentality and know that that's the relationship that is designed between us as humans and him as God, I feel like it just helps you stay in that mindset. Totally. Yeah, connects the dots. Okay, enough rambling from me. I love all that.

I just learn something. So, okay, I want to talk a little bit about marriage and marriage. in parenthood. And I'm interested to hear your perspective too, babe. Well, seven weeks into this deal. What has been the most eye-opening thing that you have learned about your marriage? I'll start with marriage first before I get into motherhood and fatherhood.

What has been the thing that has changed the most in your marriage, in our marriage, since having a kid for the better, and not worse, because none of it's worse, but like things that you've realized, oh gosh, I need to work on this, and I didn't have to work on it before a child. But then also, what has been the most incredible thing that's happened since having a child within your marriage? Okay.

Um, I feel like, you know, since having kids, you do lose a little bit of that freedom, but we get closer together at the same time. and... Because you really have to work together. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, we've hit points where we get to that low point of like, oh my gosh, I'm struggling and what do I need right now? Like, I need you here or I don't know. Have you found that you had to speak up?

Because you said, like, that was something you learned earlier in your marriage, is you had to learn how to, like, voice what your needs were. Have you found that you needed to do that now with being a mom? Totally. I think just being intentional about it. what my needs are and what I need because I can't expect Tyler to know what to do and vice versa. And I think being a mom, you just have extra little intuitions that maybe a dad doesn't naturally have and that they want to help. You know, they're there. They're wanting to help.

They just don't know how. And so, I mean, you guys do. But it's different for her mom. It's a mother instinct for a reason. Totally. You know, knowing what they're needing when they're eating. and to the point where our boobs tingle when the milk comes in and we're like we need to feed the baby. Which I totally get.

I get a little tangle every now and then. So I think just, you know, being intentional with our time together and our needs and communicating, communicating is huge for us. And when I stop communicating and I can tell. You can? What happens? Oh my gosh. I get emotional. I'm like, what's going on? Why am I upset? I'm like, oh, because I haven't communicated how I'm feeling. But at least you have the awareness to realize that. Right. So you know that now. Like when you start feeling it, can you catch yourself? You're like, oh, I need. So then how do you communicate? Do you like write down your thoughts? Do y'all have like a family meeting? Or do you like, how does it, how do you take the time to get your needs out? Wherever we can't. I mean, wherever we can make time for it in our crazy schedule.

We just say, hey, we got to talk. I don't know. How do we make time for that? You just talk to me whenever you feel like it. I feel like. Even if it's a bad time. Usually by the time I'm trying to fall asleep or so. But Tyler, you love to sleep.

You can sleep anywhere. Hey, man, I sleep, especially around bedtime. You know, that's when I like to go to bed. My favorite instant stories are you are catching him, like, sleeping in the most random places? I can't sleep pretty good. good just about anywhere. No, that's true.

If I'm frustrated about something and he's passing out, I'm like, oh, there is no way he's sleeping right now. We are talking about it.

I get so mad. Oh my gosh. I will say, like, I think with kids, it just, it, um,

requires you to be more intentional because there's so many more things you're juggling. So, you know, literally will, and I know this sounds a little bit surface level but like for us our calendars are like a really useful tool for us

to be intentional so like if if we see on our calendar we'll go check our calendars and if we don't have a date night on the books you know within a week or so of that we'll put it on there and we're pretty good about if something's on the calendar or on our schedule we're going to we're going to do it it's almost like our checklist you know and even if we have something that comes up that that we would like to do but hadn't talked about yet we have a little system in place where it's like we'll put it on the calendar

so we both see it and we'll put a question mark because that means we've got to talk about it before we remove the question mark and make it official. So that way I don't do something and say a Titans game on Sunday and she's like we're not going to the Titans game

it's like well did you see the question mark because we hadn't talked about it yet so let's discuss it that was just a complete that's never really happened but maybe a motocross race or something but anyway so it's like just little

you know being intentional about setting little things in place that work for for each relationship I think is key and I think having kids really makes it extra important because you're as you guys know like you can you can just go weeks and weeks and just be so busy and feel like man I hadn't had one second to sit down with you and have any time or we hadn't made the time you know what I mean like let's put it on the calendar let's go on a date night let's go on a picnic even with the kids But, you know, just whatever the need is, it helps you voice that and implement and make it happen, you know. I've been trying to make time for myself. I'm talking with my therapist and she's like, you've got to get out of the house for 30 minutes a day and just go do something for you.

And so I just go to Starbucks and I start writing in my journal and that's like my lone time. And so I can feel full when I come back. to the house and I'm like, oh, I feel like I got my time. I got filled up. And I can be my best or try and be my best for the family. And I'll just touch on this and then I'll quit talking so much. But I will say balance is key like in our life. And every week, I look at a week and I say, all right, to have a balanced week,

I need to have me time. I need to have us time. I need to have a whole family time. I need to have workday. days, songwriting days, I need to, you know, there's a lot of things, but I got to make sure I need to have my workout time, like all the things that make my week whole. I need to have my time of God, like one-on-one time with God. You know what I mean?

That's interesting, making sure you have it all in there. Yeah, it's like a pie, you know what I'm saying? And if each piece is 20%ish or so, I mean, I can probably put it all into five or six categories. But yeah, I gotta have all that to be a full week, to be whole and to not feel out of balance. So kind of just go look at the calendar and say, all right, we got her date nights, got my Wednesday morning, Jesus walk, got my Tuesday, Thursday workouts with my wife, got my Monday Wednesday or Friday workouts and my boys. Got the, you know, two days of songwriting at 11 o'clock. I got a couple meetings. You know what I'm saying?

Like just to make sure you're getting the, and it's, and it also, I mean, but then at the same time, I want to have, I want to live a life that creates freedom. So we're not completely living by the schedule. So sometimes we'll literally put in the calendar a freedom. day where it's like don't book anything. We're going to see where the wind blows this day. And it might blow me up to the farm to ride dirt bikes. I don't know. It might blow us to Percy Warner Park to go on a hike.

Like, or we might just, it might rain and we might stay in the house all day. So I think there's a beauty in that too. And you create freedom and create spontaneity, but schedule it. I love that. Then you make sure that you're balanced. Right. Because balance is communication and balance. Yeah.

It's important. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. How do you think our. marriage has changed for the better or what have we struggled with since having it's changed for the better just to i mean we're fresh into it you know so we're still it's just not we'll see if it seems like coming up for air what's popped up that has been a stress well not much lately

actually that's funny because it's true it's been a little dry it's probably much up here what do you feel like has been something that you've had to like wrap your head around good and hard as a new parent. As a parent. I think the hardest thing about this is selfishness. Because, like, you know, we've been together a long time and the life that we live and it definitely caters to you being selfish and just all about you, you know. So I think that's been the adjustment for me with her is, you know, finding that balance of

like, okay. I mean, it kind of comes naturally because you want to be with them and you want to, you know, it's a thing. But, I mean, watching you become a mother has been inspiring because you just make it look easy, you know? That's nice. Thank you. And that's cool to watch. I mean, because I'm really just there to help, you know.

Well, you've cooked every single meal, which has been so nice. You know, you pick your rolls. Oh, he's, like, become the chef hobby of the house. And, like, you've really done some great dinners. I'm bored. Awesome. I'm glad you're putting it into food. Yeah.

But that's the thing. If me cooking and, you know, doing all that. helps you while you're feeding every three or four hours and you take the night shifts I'll take the mornings you know it's like we have a balance of like an ecosystem that we've just got into the groove and it works so we're both happy it's like you know you got you were able to get out of the house today for a few hours while I sat there this morning and you know took care of her then and you're gonna you know you're gonna let me out of the house you know one night for something I got to go do like tonight when we go the bar together

after, you know, like after this. Yeah. Something I realized, though, is like, we used to do everything together. Like, you and I would always go everywhere together. And now we don't. Well, no, because we're still, I think we're still adjusting. That's what a change for me, though, is like, I used to just go anywhere all the time, do everything constantly.

And now it's like, really, like, I have to, like, find a babysitter or hire the night nurse to come, which is a blessing that we have these people in our lives. But it's like you have to really prepare to leave. That's so true. You know? It goes back to your calendar and scheduling. It's just you just got to think out your weeks or months a little bit, you know, ahead of time. Because back in the day, there's a beauty about being newly married or having just freedom all the time and saying, man, we don't have got to worry about this week.

Like, what's do we want to do that day? And it's a lot of fun. But when the kids come along, it just requires that if you want to have a healthy. It's not about you anymore. It's like, this kid's got to be on a schedule. And some people don't subscribe. to that and some people do but it's just like well that's I have to make that in a priority now for a little bit of time you know you know it's not forever yeah I mean we did the thing where

we were married for five years before we decided to have a kid and we were together 10 years we got a 10 yeah but we're gonna get it forever he was 21 we met I was 24 I'm older I'm Puma it's fine everyone we lived it up yeah oh hardcore to the point where we're like man what are we gonna do now right you know it's time it's time time and I think that's important for people that when they get married I mean you do what you want to do but I think it's it's important to have that time in the beginning to yourself you know because like you're doing so many different things like you're either buying a house together and you've got careers that you're combining and all these things and there's an adjustment period

to all that because you know our whole lives we've been used to just being us just for me you know I feel like we learned how to weather all sorts of like storms together before we had kids so it's like now even if things are really intense or hard or we're in a season like right now we're intense season with a newborn. But it's like I are we already know every single little nook and cranny of each other's personality and how we interact together. So it's like almost I don't worry about surviving hard things with you because we've already survived so many hard things together. That's it. I will say something that popped up for me. I'll just speak to struggle that happened for me with in the beginning was I felt like you could

continue living your life as normal. Exactly. And as a as a the mom and like obviously be breastfeeding every three hours and like someone has to be there with the baby all the time I felt like I will never leave this house again like I will never be able to get out of this house but you can like just leave you know so I get that was something I had to like learn how to yeah did you feel that it's not it's not you are doing it on purpose but what what are you going to do to sit there with us the whole day while we breastfeed yes I still Tyler I'm like I just need you to be here. Be here with me and sit.

Which I don't do very well. I don't want to sit. 10 minutes is all you get and then I got to move. But it took me so long to realize that frustration. Like, oh my gosh, he gets to continue his life. He gets to go to his workouts in the morning. I'm still recovering. I can't work out.

Yep. I'm breastfeeding. My body's not what it was. My pants don't fit. Nothing fits. And so it's all this emotional stuff. And we were on tour in the middle of tour. That's true, too.

So, yeah, just jump right back into being on the road, writing songs. Yeah, and I'm like, oh, I miss being on the road. I want to go on the tour and you're like, how do I get back to that? But it's like, right, how do you? Right. It does feel like, oh, my gosh, when am I ever going to get out? But, I mean, thank God for our texts that we have going on with the girls. I'll say that's crucial to have, and I'm sure guys feel the same way about having guy friends

your new dad. Having a support group of females going through the same things has been so important for me. Well, it's the same thing for God. I mean, we do the same thing. I mean, I remember when we went out to your farm, I was like, I just needed, I needed this. But like, Haley and I, like, we're not going to go out to farm all day from morning till night because we can't. Every guy gets like, I think that first like four to six weeks, like, A, the shift, you know, the change that everybody's going through. I mean, we're going through changes too, you know.

Absolutely. And what do you feel? What was it changed? What what made you? Well, it's like that was like this is it like that you're just you you have to have everybody has to have a grace period I think of adjustment to like big life things like marriage kids huge career things like you got to adjust. Nobody just gets it just like that. I don't think. Um, that communication is key that I felt and it's kind of like just to change perspective a little bit like for us as dudes you have your wife. It's like for the most part. you know, I live for Haley and she lived for me. And it was like, it was all about us. Like you said, well, as soon as that baby comes, mom is all about baby. And all of a sudden, husband kind of gets pushed aside, which is okay.

Yeah. And that's expected, but it definitely takes some adjustment. You know what I'm saying? And it's kind of like, all right, you got to have grace on that, just like you've got to have grace on us. Because you were the number one before. That is true. I mean, very much so, you know, and it kind of, at least it felt that way where it's like,

yeah, like, if I'm on tour, Haley's coming with me and it's amazing. I get to have my wife with me all the time and, you know, we love that. But as soon as baby comes, it's like, all right, baby's number one now. And so you kind of get, and even to the point of like, you know, Haley would cook meals and Haley would do things. Well, all of a sudden it's like, that just takes kind of a back seat.

You know what I mean? Because the priority shift and change. And for dudes. And we don't have enough time or energy to do it off. Of course, which we don't expect you to because, I mean, I see it. I'm like, you know, props to all women. and, you know, who ever had a baby because it's just like, geez, I don't see how y'all do it.

But at the same time, like Hobby said, there's an adjustment for you guys and for us, you know? Have you felt that, like, that I have kind of not, well, we're not even sleeping in the same bed right now because I sleep in Sunny's room on a mattress on the floor because I just... Yeah, one positive thing about that is I get to watch TV as long as it wants. I kind of would enjoy it.

But it is true. Like, I have felt bad that we, aren't as like intertwined as we have been the past 10 years of our marriage. Yeah, and that's interesting to talk about it because you asked me that the other day and I don't feel anything towards it because to me

it's just that's what it is and it's not going to last. Right. And you know that. You're able to separate that? Yeah, it doesn't. It's not like I'm like, what's going on with our marriage now? It just seems like since the baby's here, it's over. But no, it's like, well, fuck, man, you're raising a kid. Yeah. Yeah. Feeding it

every four hours waking up and like good on you for sleeping in the room on a little pallet you know and doing that from midnight to 6 a.m. you know that's but I think it's that motherly you deserve breakfast in the morning for that but I think it's my it might be because I need to have more faith or whatever but like I just have it's like a I have it's fear that makes me want to do that because I'm so worried about her all the time because she's my number one you know and they say and things I've read that that's very. common with a woman in the first child, you know, but then you look at like some friends of ours or like my sister-in-law, she's got five. Your brother, they have five kids. I remember your Christmas

time, she was born in April. She was just like four weeks old and like there's kids running around and I was just like, where's the new baby? And she just laid on the floor in the den. On a mat, on a mat, you know, they ain't worry about it. Like if you, she's not going to roll, but it's just, I think it all changes, you know, I'm sure it's different for you guys now with a second one than the first one. Totally. Yeah. Totally.

And like you said, it's just a chapter. It's just a phase. It's going to get your life back. You're going to get your marriage. The dynamic that it was, a lot more. Hopefully I'll get my brain back. I don't know if the brain's ever coming back. My brain is broken.

It's gone. Yeah. I'll forget what I'm saying mid-sittance. You left your phone at home yesterday. I left my phone at home. I left Michael with the baby. Where was I yesterday? You went to get your lashes?

Oh, yeah. I was going to get my lashes done because I'm trying to like, you know, keep some things up. And I left Michael with the baby and I forgot my phone. And I was like, oh, no, panicking. I was like, what if he can't hand, like something happens and like you have a breakdown and you need me? But then I'm like, he's her dad. He's going to be fine. You're fully capable.

Just enjoy that time with no phone. Yeah. Yeah. I know, but it is. It's such a learning curve. Mm-hmm. Everybody's doing great. We're all watching.

See, this is Michael 7. He's always like, it's all good. I think we're doing pretty good. I think so, too. You guys are doing amazing. I think y'all are doing amazing. And I think it's amazing to have friends in the same chapter. That's why it's so fun to, like, hang out with, like, new parents who are, like, trying to balance it off.

You know? Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah. You have to. And I will say, like, along the same lines is, like, I think there's a lot to be said about asking for help and not being ashamed of that. And I don't mean necessarily having a nanny per se. I think if you have the financial ability to get a nanny, that's incredible. But if you don't, I still think you got to use your resources and your friends and your family around you to give you those days where it's like, hey guys, like for me and Haley, it's like, yo, we're taking two days and we're going on a trip.

Like the babies are going to be fine. We'll leave them with somebody. Here's the milk. Here's the deal. Here's how we put them to bed. And just trust it is going to work because... Trusting. Yeah, trust is hard, but I think that's another thing about having kids.

You just... You don't have to trust the person. Yeah. Well, yeah, I mean, you don't want to go on... Get a babysitter.com and just let your baby stay with anybody. But I think... Babysitter.com. That's a real thing, no way.

But even if we were talking about this other day, like, there's so many of our friends that we love and older friends of ours that maybe their kids are grown or whatever. And they're like, man, I'd love to come over and watch the baby for a day. I'd love to. And accept their help. Exactly. I really think that's, you know, I think that's important as parents, as hard as it may be,

to just lean in on that a little bit with your friends and with your family. You know, our family doesn't live in town, so it makes a little harder, but I can name five people right now that would love to come over and, or we could literally drop live and Luca off at their house for two or three days, I think, and they would be cool with it. And, you know. So I think that's also something to take into consideration as a new parent. Not saying that it's not hard because I do think leaving your kids is hard, especially for the first time.

And I think as a mom, me personally, I feel, I don't know, it's the mom guilt that everyone talks about. And it's a real thing. Have you struggled with that? Yeah. Especially because we, you know, we do have a nanny. and I'll be downstairs in my office and I hear them having fun upstairs and I'm like, oh, I should be up there. Or I hear them crying and I'm like, oh, I should go do that. I mean, I have to kind of make myself be like, no, Haley, this is what I need to be doing so that later I can be present with them.

But there's still struggle. Definite guilt that I'm just like, oh my gosh, I should be there. I should be making those memories with them. I should go take them to the park, which we do. but, you know, and I can't be there for them all the time because then I can't be my best self, but it's that constant struggle of when I'm not with them, I want to be with them.

And then when I'm with them... You need a fine time for you. Yeah, so just finding that balance again is just something we're learning. And it's a real thing to learn. It's very, and it's easy to, like, go hard one or the other way, you know? And, like, working moms too. Like, I have a ton of friends who have had newborns and gone back to work and, like, having to have their baby in full-time care, you know, it's like, but they need to work.

And so it's just, no, it's just you have to just accept so much as a parent. And, like, I'll talk briefly about this on a previous podcast with my roommates, but, like, when we ended up choosing, having a C-section, like, that was a really hard thing for me to wrap my head around in the beginning because I felt guilty. I'm still hormonal, so made me cry, that, like, I wasn't having natural labor. Like, I felt like I was, like, failing in a way. I can cry the job of that.

Because it actually is a real topic for me because it hits a person. And so it's, like, I call my sister, and she was, like, the faster you can, I'm sorry, I'm crying. But she's, like, the faster you can, like, accept that parent is not perfect, and, like, you've got to make a decision

and stand by it. And, like, know that, like, they're all fine decisions. You know, everything is fine. Like, there's not a wrong, there's not a right, and just make your choice, feel good about it, and then don't go back and, like, question it. And that is such a struggle for me to question myself in my previous life before child. I could just question everything. A million, I could analyze everything. I think I'd choose the wrong thing.

Worry so much that, like, I should have done this or I should have done that or, like, oh, my gosh, this person is upset with me because I did this. But, like, I know my heart is good. I know I'm choosing the best I can. And now as a parent, you have to just stand by that. And you can't, like, question it. Good for you for, like, saying those things. Because a lot of times we have such negative self-talk and for you to be saying, I know I'm a good mom, you know,

I can do this is so huge. And that's... Because self-talk is huge. I've recently tapped into self-talk. Like, I didn't even know until, like, this year. Michael Chandler, y'all know Michael Chandler, MMA Fighter. He's one of our good friends.

He always talks about self-talk. And I didn't even know how. how bad myself talk was until I started checking in on it. Sometimes we're the hardest on ourselves than anybody. Yes. I would just be brutal to myself. I am saying whatever you follow it with. Don't follow it with negativity.

You have to check yourself. Yeah. Yeah, the mom guilt thing is weird too. I think from our culture and our society, I think it also changes, like, even with like breastfeeding versus pumping, you know, nanny versus not having nanny, like all these things. I'm not working mom. Right.

It's like, man, like you just said, just do your best. Just do your best. Know that you're a great mom. And don't, don't compare your situations or listen to what culture is telling you. Because honestly, in 10 years, culture is going to say the opposite anyway. That's true. Now they're saying sleep your baby on your back. Before they're saying sleeping on your stomach.

There's so many things that you could be guilty from or feel that, you know, even, you know, I'm obviously not a mom. So I don't really know, but I will just say just from observing. from an outside perspective, it's like, it's real. And it's just, it's kind of sad that our culture puts so much pressure on moms and so many expectations. And if you don't do this, then you're a bad mom. Well, like you said, there's not a right or a wrong of how many months you should breastfeed or there's not a writer wrong on a lot. A lot of times. Well, you should do it in public or not.

Right. I know. Pull that thing out, girl. Just bust it out. It's natural. Yeah. So anyway, I just encourage all moms to, do you and to have confidence and know that it's different for everybody, you know?

Mm-hmm. Then there is no wrong or right. Right. Totally. And that is hard. That's really hard to do that. I know. I've been trying to lately, my motto has just been kind of to celebrate the little victories.

Even if it's, I got out of bed and I brushed my teeth and I got my makeup on before the kids got up today. That's a miracle. I did it. Or we had out the door on time and the kids are dressed and, you know, those little things. I'm like, yes, we did it. Yes. So it's the little victories that are actually the big victories. And I've been trying to really just encourage those instead of at the end of the day being like,

what did I get done today and kind of being down to myself? It's like, no, we did a lot. Because sometimes at the end of the day, I really can't tell you one thing I did besides just keep sounding alive in theater and, like, be with her all day. Like, I don't really, and I have the time, I'm wearing the sweatpants I wore last night to sleep in. Like, and I still haven't brushed my hair or my teeth. And I'm like, well, I feel like I was exhausted and busy all day. But you just said you kept a baby alive. That's a huge job.

Yeah, it is. And so we don't give ourselves enough credit for those things. Mm-hmm. Yeah. That would have good. Well, you guys, I feel like we really hit a lot of topics. I think, yeah. I like to wrap every podcast up with Leave Your Light.

So just leave some inspiration of obviously this whole thing's inspiring and we're talking about inspiring things. But like how do you want to inspire people? Like what's some wisdom that you want to drop on people just to like spread some light? Here's mine. Just that hit me right when you said that because it's kind of along the topics of what we're saying. But I think whether you're a parent, whether you're not, whether you're not, whether you're you're married, whether you're not, you know, wherever phase of life you're in, I think there's,

I don't think we give ourselves enough grace. I really think, like, that's important. Because like you said, the self-talk and all that stuff, like you can be so hard on yourself. So I think it's just giving yourself grace. I mean, if Jesus can give us so much grace, why can't we give it to ourselves? You know what I mean?

Cut ourselves some slack every now and then, and don't be so harder on ourselves. So there's no. my little light nugget for you there. I love it. I guess mine would be, hmm, just to,

I guess we said this before, but just remember that God's in control and to just take that weight off of your shoulders. So true. And just live your life and enjoy it and not be fearful because he's got us. That is so hard not to do,

but it's so true. It's so hard. Yeah, you just have to constantly remind yourself. I try that every day and it's hard. Amen to that. I guess mine will be kind of what I said before. This is my personal struggle is owning my decisions. Like trusting myself and trusting my instincts, especially now as a new mom, like I have to trust my instincts. So I would just say like trust your intuition, trust your instincts

and know that if your heart's in the right place and you're doing your best, then don't go back and overanalyze it and beat yourself up. Just know that like you did the very best you can and you do what you felt like you were led to do and then you just have to let it go. That's awesome. I need that. I have to do that all the time. Of course I got to go last. You got this baby. I'm with Tyler on the grace thing. I think that's really important. But, you know, one thing that I always try to do every day is say I'm thankful for things that I don't have and thankful for things that I do. And you speak that out loud. You always speak that out long. And then find gratitude, at least once a day, take a deep breath and find gratitude and something.

And it'll change your day. But, yeah, I'm always been a believer of that. You know, your journey's not someone else's, you know what I mean? And you're on your own path and plan. So something doesn't happen for you. Don't mourn over it. Just move on to the next thing. But just be thankful for everything that he puts in your life and God takes out of your life because that's the way it's supposed to be.

Totally. I love that. Awesome. It's good. Well, I just want to say before we get finished here that we look up to you guys so much. You guys are incredible parents and incredible friends and incredible people. And so just to encourage you guys a little bit, we love y'all so much and look up to you guys a lot. And thank y'all for having us on your podcast.

Back at y'all. You're incredible examples of all things and very inspiring. So we're grateful to have you guys in our lives. And thanks for sharing your heart on this podcast, everyone. Hey, baby, thank you for coming on. Hey, thanks for coming on. Hey, thanks for coming on. Can I ride home with you?

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