The Bobby Bones Show - BONUS: Get Real with Caroline Hobby - Kelli Haywood : Boss lady and wife to Dave from Lady Antebellum

Episode Date: May 23, 2020

SUBSCRIBE to Get Real w Caroline Hobby on iHeartRadio or wherever you're listening to this now!Kelli Haywood, one of Nashville’s top women in the country music scene and wife to superstar Dave Haywood from Lady Antebellum, talks about how she climbed the ladder in the music industry going from an assistant to the vice president of marketing for Warner Brothers Records, all at the age of 25. She tells us all about the journey of how her and Dave became friends first and how their love story began. She lets us in on their extravagant winter wonderland themed proposal. Kelli walks us through her experience of going from full-time boss lady to a full time mom and finding balance. She is an inspiration to all those hardworking women in the world, who are striving to have it all. Kelli is one of those women, where the limit does not exist. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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fin.com. Own the dream. Hey guys, it's Bobby Bones, and, you know, thanks for listening to the podcast for the radio show. Whether you're getting back to normal life or you're still

working out of your homes, we just appreciate you listening to us and making this part of your day. Everything's a little different right now. We get that, and you may be hearing this on the weekend. We put some of this stuff on the weekend now.

I wanted to share another podcast from the Nashville podcast network with you guys, because if you like it, maybe you go subscribe to it. It's called Get Real with Caroline Hobby. Maybe you've heard Caroline on the show before.

She does a podcast where she interviews a lot of wives from country artists. She also talks to business women, entrepreneurs, influencers. Her tag is honest women, honest talk. And so she sat down with Kelly Haywood, the wife to Dave Haywood from Lady Annabelle. They talked about her and Dave become friends first, way before they dated, and then Dave Haywood's big old elaborate proposal to her. So check out the episode. If you enjoy it, subscribe to her podcast.

Just search Get Real with Caroline Hobby on IHeart Radio or wherever you get your podcasts. enjoy it. I do. I hope you do too. Here is the episode. This week on Get Real Podcasts, I have the beautiful, talented, and just wise beyond her years. Kelly Haywood joining me. She's a wife today from Lady Antebellum, and her story is incredible. She moved to Nashville right out of college when she was early in her early 20s. She became an assistant to an executive at Warner Brothers Records. She moved to Nashville to be a singer, but needed to, she was like, I'm going to get a job, I'm going to get straight to it. She's an achiever, a number three on the enneagram.

So she is a worker and an achiever, and she's like, I'm going to get a job. She started an assistant, quickly realized that though she's talented as a singer, she was really thriving on the entertainment business side. And so she worked her way up, became vice president, a vice president at Warner Brothers age 25. I mean, that's just unbelievable. And she just has such incredible work ethic. But on top of her work ethic, she, Sunny agrees. On top of her work ethic, she has so much heart and soul and she is so aware of

herself, constantly is doing work on herself, constantly checking in and she loves therapy. And she's just such a wise, well-rounded person. She talks to me about how she and Dave are parenting to young kids, how they navigate their crazy, busy lives. Obviously, Dave's on the road. how she has the winding road for her with her career. She took a break from being a badass boss lady for a minute to raise her kids. And now she's back in the working field and the workforce. And she just talks to me about how she's navigating life. And it's really beautiful and really inspiring.

And I just love this interview so much. So here, oh, we also talk about Dave's elaborate proposal to her when he asked her to marry him. I mean, elaborate, insane, incredible. Like, you've never heard anything like this in your life. Here is Kelly Haywood. All right. I'm pretty excited because I have the beautiful Kelly Haywood. Kelly Haywood with me.

Heywood. Heywood. What's going on? How are you? I'm amazing. I'm happy to be here. Thank you for asking me. I know.

I was like, I have always known who you are and always admired you from afar. But I feel like just recently. I started like creeping into your life. Creeping in. It's good. It's good. I feel that way about like, I feel like a lot of people. I feel like I've known them.

We've known each other. But then, you know, I do feel like there's something about this camaraderie of people who are going through a similar thing where you end up together. And, you know, obviously both of our husbands are, you know, in the music industry. So that's something that brings people together for sure. You need a community for that. You really do, don't you? Yes, for sure. Have you leaned on?

on that during this journey being married because your husband is day from lady a i've actually known dave since before right when lady a got put together no no way because i interned for victoria shaw oh my gosh yes hillary scott's publisher yes helped produce the first album and so like i kind of feel like i was one of those really lucky people that got an inside addition to like lady a in its entirety yeah and you kind of are too because you started off with dave like working in his label and friends with them. I actually didn't work at his label. I have a very specific memory. Actually, Victoria brought them in. I was working at Warner at the time. And branding? And I was in marketing, yep. And he, they came in. They were shopping record deals at the time. And I do remember so vividly that we, I mean, we put the full court press onto them.

You're like, we need these. Yeah, Warner wanted them very badly. Um, but they just, what was it that made them stand out so much. You know, I think at the time there was such a need for fresh new. It kind of had gotten to that everybody recognized names on the radio, but the music started to feel a little bit like it was not growing maybe. And their sound was so unique and so different. And they're like kind of the first to do the male female vocals. Yeah. Yes, which, you know, there was lots of talk about should the male and the female switch off. Everyone was like, oh my God, this is a bad idea. Yeah, exactly. Screw y'all.

We're going to do this our way. They said, we're going to do what we're going to do. So they did. But I remember wanting us going after them so bad. And of course, they ended up signing with Capitol. So I actually never did work with him. Thank God. We've tried that one time.

And it was like, yeah, we're not going to do that again. When did y'all try that? Well, there was a group that I helped put together called Post Monroe. Oh, yes. I love them. He did their EP. which they're no longer together. But he did their EP and it was interesting.

How has dolls work dynamic together? Well, I'm a three on the Enneagram and he is a nine. So you're an achiever and he's a peacemaker. He is. Okay. But he also, the hard parts of being a nine is you are somebody who takes all the information. And even if you want to say something, sometimes you just stuff it and stuff it and stuff and then there's a moment where it goes, blah,

and it turns into this huge, like, tornado. And I just say what I need. And I'm like, this is what we need to do. And this is the what, you know, and this is the budget. And we can't afford that. And, you know, he's a creative. He wants to be able to do what he wants to do. And so it got to a point where we got into the process.

We did finish it. And it was a really great EP, but there was a point in the process where we both looked to each other and said, we probably, just need to be separate. So were you managing and he was producing? Correct. I was managing the band. So then in essence you're kind of managing him.

Exactly. It was and he did not like that. Yeah. Because it's one thing to be like the wife and the kind of the home manager of the kids and all that. But I guess when you're actually having to tell him what to do. Right. And it's such an interesting dynamic because I've always been on the music,

on the business side of the music and he's always been on the creative side. So we've learned a lot about each other and the roles and we have a lot of empathy for like he has a lot of empathy for music executives where maybe some artists don't. Because he sees it from your perspective. Because he sees it from my perspective where I and I have some empathy for him an artist where sometimes I'm just like. Where music executives might not. Correct. So it's provided good things for our careers separately. We just shouldn't work together again. Okay. So, hey, good to know, good to try.

Yeah, exactly. We tried it. The music was great. At the end of the day, it was just the process of getting to that. Would know or finish? How did y'all know that that was a one and done kind of thing? Well, I mean, just the process was so difficult for us. I mean, we don't, we don't fight a lot.

Obviously, we have regular marriage disagreements like everyone, but that really brought a lot of stuff up for each of us. So it just, we agreed that, and we've agreed on that part of it, that we shouldn't do anything else together like that. You know, I actually feel like Michael and I would be very similar in that way. Yeah, because he's very creative and has like a very clear picture of how what he wants to do. And like, same with me. And I feel like if I was trying to tell him what to do creatively, he would not like that at all. Like he's a seven and I'm at four.

Okay. Which is so he's like the enthusiast with life. Yeah. But then he also, like, when he's a terrorist too, so when he gets his mind set on something, he's a bull. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Hardcore. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Well, but both of y'all are the creatives though, right? I mean, I guess now you are business. But you're a business creative. Yeah. I was sitting here. I walked into you on a conference call. And like, I'm hearing you, like, talk to your team and you're coming up with ideas and you're navigating, you're actually navigating a podcast world and like figuring out how to do this. world and how to take it from beyond a podcast and make it into a business and a touring business. And I mean, that's creative. Yeah, it is. I guess it's a different. I don't, I've never looked at it

like that because I look at people who are talented and creative like you and Dave, your husband. And I'm like, that is so amazing to me because I don't, I mean, I have a singing background, but I'm not like a. Oh, yeah. And don't we all? Everyone who's moved to Nashville. Did you move to be a singer? I did. It's crazy. Oh, I can't wait to hear about all that. But I'm just, so I have a hard time like saying that is what I am as creative. But I think there are definitely parts of everyone's job in life where you find that, dig deep and find that creative.

I mean, Dave even used to be in finance. I mean, he used to be just numbers. It's probably super helpful for him in a creative career. It is. I mean, everything you learn once you start having kids and you start figuring, out like who they are and math and music go hand in hand. So if you think that your husband or your child is like, oh gosh, he's going to just love math and the numbers. Actually, he might be really good at music. You should put a guitar in his hand.

Truly. It's interesting. Yeah. I think you should claim creativity in your job, though, because I was talking to, I never know who I'm talking to and what I've talked about. Somebody who was a creative and they were looking for a manager. And they were like, I want a manager who's creative. Right. Because if you don't have someone on the business side working for you as an artist per se, who thinks outside of the box, who has creative ideas, who puts together interesting concepts that are different ways to showcase this talent.

Like if you don't have someone who's able to think that way, then you kind of stay stuck in a rut, you know? So it's really important to have a creative executive on your team. So I think you are nailing that. Well, thank you. I'm trying. So what brought you to Nashville? How'd you get here singing? Tell me a little bit about like the beginning story of Kelly.

Well, I grew up in Dallas, Texas. I grew up in Waco. Okay. Texas girl. I got it. And then I went to school at the University of Oklahoma. Okay. What brought you there?

I got a scholarship for academics. So you're very smart. It was an academic leadership scholarship. I mean... You're one of those people that just seem smart. Like being around you, I'm like, you know, you know things it's it's all avail yes my plan is working um no but i did i i i went to the place where i could get college paid for yeah smart um so i went to oklahoma and oklahoma is only

three hours north of dallas so it was easy you know it wasn't too far away from home but i felt far away enough to feel like i could spread my wings and um when i was there i had i have a musical theater and singing background as far as like growing up. And so when I was there, I got a band together. And there was this local guy in Norman, Oklahoma, who kind of took me under his wing, Charlie Rail. And we played a bunch of gigs all through college and wrote songs. And it was country.

Yeah. So I did that in addition to like living my college life. And then... Were you kind of the cool person who had the band? I don't know if it was cool. I mean, you know, at Oklahoma, I mean, I was in a sorority, so everybody is just so obsessed. And I had amazing friends in my sorority.

I'm like, we're still very close. We try to get together once a year. It's hard. I mean, I think I did the math and between all of my closest friends from school at Oklahoma. I think we have like 18 kids between us. Wow. Yeah, it's a lot. It's hard to plan and get together.

It is. So anyways, they were, everybody's just so. It was just such a social situation. And they loved coming to hear me sing, but it wasn't like a thing. I kind of had it on the side for me and for what I wanted to do. So I had always planned on moving to Nashville. To be singer. Yeah.

Were you going to move with this dude? No, no, no. He was always going to stay in Oklahoma. He's a much older guy and very, very great, was great for me during those years. But we just, we sometimes played just he and I, and then we had a band for the bigger gigs. Okay. So, but yeah, so I moved to Nashville. I literally graduated in May and I moved to Nashville in July.

Did you know anyone? I did not know anyone. I met my roommate through a mutual friend from college. So we literally met each other when we moved into our apartment together. And what was life like for you when you got to Nashville showed up, no, no, knew no one and you're diving into this big wild music world? Well, I did I mention I'm a three on the endogram? I was I was very very sure that I needed to get a job and take care of myself while I was quote unquote following my dream. Okay.

And so immediately like I had my resume. I was shopping. I mean, I did not sit still. I did not waste a minute. I was like going. I had contacts through radio because I had interned in radio whenever I was growing up. And I just did everything I could to get a job. And there was a guy at Warner who was a big, huge Oklahoma Sooners fan.

And so I think he saw that on my resume. Okay. He was like, I'll interview her. So just a little lesson. Just put everything you think of on your resume. You have no idea why they might interview. True that. Yeah.

Yeah. And so anyways, he hired me as his assistant. At Warner Brothers. At Warner. So what was his area? He was the head. of radio promotion. Okay.

Yeah, head of national promotion at the time. That's a big assistant job. Yeah, he's still in the music industry. And he's, he totally helped me, you know, navigate all of that. But yeah, I was, I was his assistant. And then throughout my first, those first few years working at Warner, I mean, no joke, one of my very first day on the job, the air conditioning went out at Warner. And it was CRS week.

I think it was CRS. So every radio station in the day. the country is in Nashville. Correct. And so it was a huge day. And it was my, I was, everybody was hot. I was wearing, you know, I dressed up because I was like, it's my first job. Like, I want to look nice. And I'm wearing these like, you know, it was hilarious. But I'm, the elevator was not working. So we were going up and down steps. And it was Blake Shelton was there signing guitars. And so we were handing him the guitar and then walking them all down the stairs to go give them to the this all these country radio guys it was it was hilarious it's kind of nice to have things go a little bit

wrong because then it just kind of gets everyone on equal playing field absolutely kind of get you all bonded yeah and we and they we did bond we did bond but after i had kind of gotten into it after that i was pretty sure that i wanted to stay in the business side of things once my personality type once i taste a little bit of success and know that i'm good at something yeah i want to pursue it so you thought maybe it was singing, but then you got into this other area that you hadn't even known about. And you're like, okay, I'm actually really good at this. Yeah. I'm enjoying this.

I'm going to kind of pivot. Yeah. And I, you know, I can sing. I can carry a tune. But I'm not special. And once I know that I wasn't going to be special, again, my achiever in me was like, I don't want to do something that I know I'm not going to be good at. And that's not a good thing.

That's a character flaw that I try to work through and try to do things that I know that I'm not good at now because it stretches me. It makes me go, you know what? This may not be easy, but you need to try this. This is good for you. And I also want to instill that in my kids. Like, you're not going to be great at this the first time. My son has such a hard time with this.

If he can't do something on the first try, he like, he wants to give up and cry. And I'm like, we are going, keep going, you know, so I have to model that. So that's hard work. It is. It's so hard, especially for. for me, especially for me. I'm one of those that literally doesn't want to try anything that I might not be good at. Wow.

God, isn't it so funny how people really are just like, you're just wired a certain way because I am just opposite. Like I do not have the achiever thing at all. Like I go into things nervous and sort of feeling like, oh my God, I'm not going to be good enough already. And so then I just sort of, I have sort of like been shy of trying everything. thing. I'll put myself in there, but definitely afraid the whole time that I'm not good enough to be doing it. Yeah. And so I won't necessarily try to like hustle it out and stand out in a way.

Right. And I've always seeked groups. Like I've always like, because I'm a matured to be a singer too. Yeah. And I got involved with trios because you can kind of like blend in and like lean on others for support. I get that. Totally. And this podcast is the first time in my life where I stepped out and I was like, okay, I'm just going to expose it all. Yeah. And it could totally fail. And. and people can think I'm the biggest loser in the world, but here we go. And you're not. But like you said, it's nice to push yourself. It is.

And put yourself out there. Even as adults, we have to do that. I mean, again, I feel like I expect so much of my kids, my son in particular, because he's can't expect much from a two-year-old, my daughter. She's a great ballerina already, though. Yes. So cute in her outfit. Yeah.

She may be a three. But I, you know, I expect so much. much of him and then I have to step back and go, okay, maybe he's a little bit like you. You know, let's figure out how we model this for him so that he feels empowered to do so and know that he's going to be loved no matter what happens, even if he isn't successful, whatever he tries. How do you navigate that parenting? When you see the potential of your kids and you're already like a full grown adult so

you know how to like get things done, but he's obviously what, like five? He's five, yeah. five. So how do you, how do you navigate that when you like want to push them, want to keep them trying, but yet you got to give them room to fall and grow and be? Yeah, I think the hard, the thing that Dave and I have agreed on and really feel that we are going to do together in parenting is that we're going to offer opportunities for our kids to try all different things and encourage them to try their best and of course there are going to be times they're going to want to give up and we're going to want to push them to not but at the end of the day the only thing that I can control

is how my kids feel when they walk in our house you know there's going to be a lot of stuff out there they're going to be kids who don't think they're good at sports and bully them there's going to be you know people that say don't sing ever again or you know whatever it ends up being there's not going to, life is not easy. But at the end of the day, if my son walks into this house and he knows how loved and, um, big dog. Hello, Bear. Hi, Bear. My dog just walked in. Um, if he knows that he's loved and that no matter what happens that everything that he should feel in here is security. Yeah. Safety and security to try new things to fail to, you know, know, know that it's, it's okay like that is the number one thing that we can do as parents me and dave for for our kids

are you guys um do y'all like to talk things out or how do y'all how do you express that to your children like are you guys big talkers are y'all big just like yeah i mean we're still learning i would say i'm not we don't have anything figured out i'll tell you that but um we're really big on letting our kids have their feelings. So I love that. Yeah. So nothing is a bad feeling to feel. Right.

And you know, there's so much as parents like, I mean, picture yourself in the grocery store and your child having a meltdown. It can be really embarrassing. Yeah. But they don't have those boundaries.

They don't know boundaries. They don't know that it's inappropriate to be losing their mind in a grocery store. So I always, we always give credence to their feelings. Like it is okay for you to be upset right now, but it is not okay for you to be losing your mind right now. So we can talk about this when you get home or whatever, but it's always allowing them, tell me how you feel about that.

How do that make you feel so that they can articulate their feelings? Because I feel like that our generation and of course our parents' generation, we're told not to have feelings. And I feel like it's so good for you to be able to identify that so that you can understand how to move forward out of it. I've been in a season lately of accepting the fact because I'm always someone who's like, let's get to the blessing, let's find the meaning, let's get to like the, there's a purpose and the pain. I've been in a season right now and I don't know what it is. I mean, maybe it's just 2020 and like seeing things clearly. So much happening in the world.

The freaking frenzy with the coronavirus. The tornado just hit. Like, you know, just having kids, career stress, all of it. We're like, I've been overwhelmed lately. and I've been letting myself just be there. Right. Because normally I'm trying. Instead of moving through it,

you're letting yourself sit in that, I feel sad about this. Yes. Or I feel really mad. I feel angry that this is happening. Like why is the coronavirus happening? Or why did, I mean, your neighborhood? Why did my neighborhood get decimated by a tornado?

Yeah. It's okay to be angry about it. And then like even just talking to you a little bit about like my podcast before we got into this podcast. I don't know what I'm doing with this podcast. Like I have no free. freaking idea what I'm doing with this podcast. I've been making it up as I go. And now that Sunny's here, it's like, you know, like when you have a kid, you want your time to matter more. You want your

intentions to be like good. You want to have like your day. You don't want to waste your time. Right. Because you want to be with your kids. Yeah. Absolutely. And so now I'm like, okay, this is not just a hobby. Like it's a passion and has been a passion of mine forever. But I'm like, I got to make this actually, I got to get structure with it and like create like a plan and like know where I'm going. And that's stressful. If you want to, do you want to do that? Yes. Yeah.

I want to do that. You can do that. You can do that. You have people around you that can help you do that and you're going to be awesome at it. I think it's just identifying the fact that it's like, okay, I'm a little bit overwhelmed right now. I'm going to let myself spin. And then once it settles down, then I'm going to sort it. Right.

But I don't have to get out of the stress of it immediately. I'm always trying to get out of stress. Like, because I feel like that's like bad to feel. Right. But it's not. And we want to teach, like you're saying, you want to teach your kids to feel. Yeah. we as adults should feel also.

Right. Absolutely. 100%. And there's something probably that's making you feel that stress too. Like there's something, some underlying something that's making you feel that stress. And you can eventually get out of that stress, but allowing yourself to go, why, what can I do? Why do I feel this way? And what are the steps that I can do from here?

I feel like identifying your feelings just gives you so much clarity for how you move forward and how you move to the next, like, if like you say. finding the joy. Like that's a feeling too. Like how do you then move out of it into that? Have you done a lot of therapy? Yeah. Does it sound like it?

Like you have, it sounds like you've got some tools. Oh gosh. Tools are so important. And I am like, Dave and I both have done a lot of therapy. Together and separate? Yeah.

In fact, we literally just got back from a two day marriage intensive a couple of weeks ago. That is just so, so, I'm so grateful for it. I'm so thankful that we stop amidst all the craziness of having two kids, two young children. He has a crazy career. You know, I'm glad that we take time to sit and learn more about each other and understand each other better.

I mean, it makes your marriage strong. It makes your confidence in who you are and what your purpose on this earth is and your purpose to your partner. I mean, we really make it a priority in our marriage, which I'm really proud of us for doing, because it can be hard to do that. It can be really hard.

And a lot of times when things are going well and fine, and you're like, things are well and fine. Exactly. Like there's no huge red flag that I need to address. 100%. Everything's sort of, yes, there's stress of life, but everything's rolling. And that's the stigma of therapy.

But people's stigma of therapy is that you go when you're having problems. Right, when shit's hitting the fan. Exactly. And it, Sometimes it is, and that's okay. Yeah. But also it's okay for you to just do a tune up. I mean, you know, it's so important for us to not always be like, okay, let's wait until this is in crisis mode and then we'll fix it.

It's like, well, let's. Yeah. Then the damage cleanup is so much worse. Totally. Absolutely. Absolutely. So I know therapy is very personal and stuff, but what are some takeaways that you could share with us that you have gathered that maybe you wouldn't have gathered without therapy? That's a hard question.

I think the thing that therapy is done for me really, and I'll speak specifically for me, not like marriage counseling, is understanding why you are the way you are and not shaming yourself, but accepting it. And that has to do with like childhood? It does. It has to do with, what does it have to do with?

I mean, all different things. I mean, obviously trauma, if you've had trauma, that affects you. But yeah, just growing up, the role that you took in your family, you know, who you were within your family, you know,

makeup. That is so, it's such a part of who you are and the personality you have. And I think just accepting it. And then also as you go in through life is just kind of referencing back,

like, and having like this tent pole that you can go back and look at. Like, oh, the reason why, did that or the reason why I feel this way when you know Dave said that to me is because of this and it just brings awareness and recognition which has helped me in business yeah it's helped me in my marriage it's helped me with my kids I mean it helps you in every part of life I just feel like

probably to respond instead of react yeah and into for me so one specific thing for me so Dave wants to sit and talk about everything immediately. Like he wants to talk about it that minute. He wants to resolve it very much like he's a peacemaker. And I sometimes need a minute to absorb and process everything that has happened so that I can come back and go, you know, this is how I felt during this. I didn't realize I felt this way. But after I, after the fact I realized I felt this way, I can be more articulate and more

less, you know, huge response that it. is kind of, you know, explosive. Right. Not your best self-response. Exactly. Yeah. And now that he knows that about me, I can say to him, listen, this is an important conversation to me.

And I do want to talk about this, but I need an hour or I need until tomorrow. I need to think through this. Yeah. And so him knowing me better and me, which is comes from me knowing me better. Truly. Allows him to give me that space and not think that he's getting abandoned by me. Right. He just knows that I'll get the conversation.

Exactly. It's just that I need. But he would rather have the conversation with you when you're processed. Of course. Of course. So I think that's probably the biggest thing. It's taking time to gain awareness. Yeah.

I feel like that is so easy to just not do. Especially in this fast-paced world. Like we're saying everything's fine. So it's like, it's almost like, I don't want to take the time to get to know myself and to figure this out because it's exhausting. Yeah. When really, if you take the time to get to know yourself and figure it out, it saves you exhaustion in the long run.

100% and I think, you know, this is not to be preachy because everybody has their things and there are some things that people can't make time for and I get that. You know, you don't have the resources or whatever. But, you know, we make time for working out. We make time for, you know, going out to dinner with friends. You can make time for yourself. Yeah. And trying to discover more about yourself so that you're better for yourself moving forward and better for the people around you and your family and all those things. So I love that. So how did you and Dave know it was love? How did you all reconnect after you met and then didn't end up working together at the label?

Right. So Dave and I were introduced through a mutual friend. This was the very before they had their deal. So when they came through, we knew each other, but it was just we met after church one day. And so we have, our story is that we were friends for a very long time. That's awesome. We actually have this group of friends that, we would go skiing with every December or January because he was always off around that time.

And so was I because music industry like shuts down in December and January. So I mean. Ever sparks? Yeah. I mean, we, we have what I call a false start. If his mom listens to this. I mean, we definitely, you know, we made out a couple of times. And we definitely felt something for each other.

I started to feel more but around that same time Lady A was blowing up I mean it was just like right as their first single I run to you went or their it was like their second or third single that went number one and then they were getting ready to put out their second record

and I could tell I was starting to have real feelings for him and so at the time it was so difficult for me to do but I decided to tell him you know, listen, my feelings for you are no longer just friendship. And I don't want us to continue to do what we're doing. So if you want to see if there's something else here, like, I want to do that, but I also understand that your life is crazy. And he, at the time, he was just like, I just don't think I have it. I don't, I can't commit to anybody right now. And

I was like, that is totally fine. You need to stop calling me. Okay, good. So you just put the end to it. Yeah, I mean, we had a bunch of mutual friends at that point. We had been on two or three skiing trips together. And yeah, I just said, I need to set some boundaries because my feelings for you are not just friendship anymore. And so, and I'm, you know, I'm at the time, I think I was 25 or 26. And I was starting to want to date somebody for ever potential marriage. Yeah. So. we kind of we set our boundaries and he he respected them for the most part every once in a while he would like text me and be like I'm home like what are you up to and I'd be like um I'm busy you stayed strong I did I actually ended up dating somebody um in between and um he at the time I guess I didn't know this but he supposedly was like oh crap like she's really moving on she's not joking right and uh He and my friends who usually go skiing together, they went without me that year. Because you were dating someone else.

Because I was dating somebody else. So I went skiing with him and. Oh, goodness. Yeah. Okay. Okay. And then my boyfriend and I broke up in January. And I'm not kidding.

I had texted my girlfriends who are in that group of people that ski together. And I just said, I just want to let you know that we broke up. And they were like, I'm so sorry. And all of a sudden I got a text from Dave. It was like, hey. when we get back, you want to have lunch? No, uh. Yeah.

It was like instant. Kind of made the break of a little sweeter. Yeah. And I was like, well, and I said to him, I'm not, I need a minute. I need a minute. So we were friends. I let him back in friendship-wise. But I was so busy too.

Like I was really, really working hard on my career. At this point you have moved at the ladder and now you're like. Yeah, I was a vice president of marketing at that point. So you went from assistant to vice president. Yes. By the time I was 25, I was a vice president at Warner. I know. I was, I was working very hard. I did not have much of a life. At 25, you were a vice president at Warner. Yeah. So I was busy. I didn't have time for him. No. I'd say so. I was also like training for a marathon at the time. God, you are one of those people that just does everything to the fullest.

Yeah. Are you exhausted? I'm not anymore, but I was. Because like when you're starting, something, like you said, you're going all the way. So here you are starting as assistant. Now you are vice president. Oh, I'm going to start running. Oh, now I'm going to do a marathon. Yeah. I was exhausted. The way that my therapist said it to me, yeah, the way my therapist said it to me, though, is you keep climbing the ladder. You keep climbing the ladder. When you get to the top, there's no more ladder to go. So you add more lath. You add more rungs. He's like, aren't you exhausted? I mean, that's a lot of work. and I was like, yes, I'm so exhausted. And he's like, then you got to get off the ladder.

How'd you get off the ladder? That helped me like transition. How do you get off the ladder? Therapy. Is that, did you say, okay, I'm going to go to therapy? I did. That's when you went. That's whenever I, we're kind of jumping all over, but I, whenever I was pregnant

with our second child, I started, I said to him, I was like, if we're going to, if we're going to consider me not working, I need to go get some help because I, I, don't know who I am without all of this. Wow. Which is tough. Okay, I do want to talk about that because I want to talk about leaving a vice president career right to not work. Obviously, you're working again now. Yeah. So we'll transition to that. But okay. So anyways, he, um, as far as our relationship goes, he, he just started to pursue me in a way that I needed him to pursue me to know if it was going to be real. And it was, it wasn't like full on like crazy at that moment. but a lot of things were happening at that point in my life.

Again, I ran the Nashville Marathon in April, and he came over after the marathon, and we had a very real talk about. So I literally had ran 26.3 miles, and then he came over after. It's quite a day to have a big conversation. And then I had the most emotional conversation of my life. I mean, is that symbolic or something?

It's got to be something, right? Dang. Of any day. emotionally exhausting. You just purged it all. Yeah. And so then from there, like he was pursuing me pretty consistently in a very like purposeful way where I knew he was falling in love with me. And so we once that happened, we had that foundation of friendship.

That's so awesome. So once that happened, we've been friends, I guess, at that point for six or seven years. Once that happened, we dated from like May. to December. And in December, he proposed. And then we got married in April. It was very quick. Wow.

But I think that that lends itself to the fact that we were friends for so long. We had such a foundation that, you know, once you just start dating, there wasn't like we were having to learn so much about each other. Yeah, we already knew a lot. So was that, like, an epic proposal involved? He did. I mean, he is, he's a very, like, romantic guy. He's very, very good at that stuff.

but I had a house over in the Sylvan Park area and he, I was at work, which I always was. I was at work and he had hired someone to completely transform my house into a winter wonderland. And so I'm talking like when you walked in the front door, there were real flocked Christmas trees so that you had to walk like it was a maze to get into my house.

and then he had pipe and draped the living room. And there was like, you know, a table and lights, like Christmas lights everywhere. It was, I mean, extravagant would be an understatement. Do you have pictures of this? I do, yeah. I'll share it with you. And then whenever, so he, we went in the house and I was just like, what is going on? And he like played a video that he had made of like compilation of us growing up videos that

he had gotten from my parents. And then obviously like pictures of us and all of our relationship. And then he took me outside. And my favorite movie in the whole world is White Christmas. So the wreath on the front door said, welcome to Pine Tree, Vermont. If you all have, if you love white Christmas, you know that's where most of it is set.

And so he told me to close my eyes and then we went outside and did you know it was coming at this point? At this point I knew. I mean, what else could this be? I was like, this is either an amazing. Christmas gift or we're getting engaged. And he was down on one knee and he had like a little clicker, I guess. And in Christmas lights, in this huge yard sign in letters, it said, will you marry me in Christmas

lights? Are you kidding me? No. It was epic. So you really got the pursuit that you were hoping for? 100%. I think, you know, I think I needed that knowing where we had come from and how I had felt those feelings for him before he was ready.

I think I needed that from him. Not that that's the reason he did it, but I think that it was important part of our story that he, once he was in, he was in. He was all in, like crazy in. I'll share the photos. It's pretty amazing. So what is Jaws dynamic?

Like, how does Jail's personalities work together? Um, I mean, Dave is such a sweet. And he's very, he's very, He's vulnerable with people, which I think is also done. He's done a lot of work to be that way. But he's so welcoming and authentic. He's the guy in the room that, you know, probably you end up talking to because he's so, he looks like someone you want to spend, have a conversation with.

He does. He's very, like, open and unassuming. Yes. Yeah. And obviously, out of the three, you know, they have great big, Charles is a huge personality. Hillary is such a amazing emotional woman figure. And he's definitely, obviously, more in the background of things, but he, that's where he thrives. I mean, he's so, so talented in that way, but also when you're in a room with him, you're drawn to him.

But as far as our dynamic goes, I mean, I am definitely like kind of a boss. lady. You are a boss lady. It's not a bad thing. Well, I mean, dynamically though, in our relationship, it's not like that. But I, you know, you're running stuff. I'm running stuff. And he is definitely great to kind of like let me be who I am. I think, I think it would be really hard for someone like me to be in a relationship where the man needed all of the attention constantly, which I know that sounds ironic because of what he does. But he is, it's important for our dynamic, I think. For him, he, he uplifts me so much.

He doesn't make me try to be somebody I'm not. He doesn't want me to sulk and be different. Like he is so, like, be who you are. Yeah. You know, like, I love who you are. I want you to be all of those things and not try to tame or trim any of that because of, you know, my job and what I do. That's amazing.

It is. What are you all like to do together? Like if you had just like time to hang out with no worries? We really are adventurous. We do, we can't travel as much now that we have two young ones. Totally. But we love to try new things together.

We've gone to a lot of new places that we've never been together. But also this season of life, I would say just finding, making time to be just together him and I, which we are both so obsessed with our kids and we love spending time with them. so it is an effort to go this is this is what we need we need to go spend three days you know in the mountains together yeah we're just doing it and making that time and just committing to it absolutely which is easier said than done i'm not saying that's like something that is super

easy but i that's something that we we love to do but adventure is big for us for sure so how did you get to the place where you are climbing the corporate ladder you're a total boss vice president literally like doing it. How do you get to the point where you're like, okay, I'm going to, it's time to walk away for a minute. That's a big job to walk away from. Yeah. And like I said, I think my, before I into therapy at that point in my life was so important

because so much of who I am, I was my job and who I, what I did and people knowing me for that as opposed to maybe knowing me truly inside and who I am. we don't even know who we are without these jobs. Because we've been doing them for so long. And I didn't. And that's the truth. That's not, that's not pacing anything on society that's totally on me.

And I liked it. Yeah. You know, because it gave me worth. Yes. My worth was, you know, how much higher can I climb? How much money can I make?

You know, so I really had to stop and take a moment and go, what is all this for? You know, I am in a really fortunate situation. or I don't support our family. So it's not because I'm, you know, keeping food on the table. So I just had to be really introspective.

And I did spend three or four months toiling over it of, is this the right decision? Because you probably loved what you're doing. At least the adrenaline of it. Well, I love working. I do love to work. And I think that God gives us gifts that he gives us that we, he wants us to use. I agree. And I just knew that for this season, I needed to try to use those gifts in different ways.

How did you know that? I always like to know how people know when God's speaking to them. I was spending a lot of time by myself. Do you get like feelings? Do you feel like resistance? Do you feel like sick about stuff? No, I don't. I think at the time Dave was busy.

know he was gone a lot. I was feeling such a pull towards wanting to have one of our, having our kids have stability. And I started to really, I mean, there's so much mom shaming out there. Like if, you know, whether you are a mom who works, they're shaming of that.

And then if you're a mom that doesn't work, like they're shaming of that. And so I really did dive into that too of like, what is this perception that I have of moms? Why am I having such a resistance to step back? And I think I had. Were you more on the shaming of you if you're a mom and don't work, then there's shame in that?

Yeah. Okay. I was thinking like, I mean, don't you want to do something with your life? And I've really, I will tell you that for the two years that I stayed home, that was harder than any job I've ever had in my entire life.

What was the hardest part of that? You have to die to yourself every single day. That's a great way of putting it. You do not. There is nothing. There is, you do not win at being a mom. You cannot succeed at being a mom. It is, I mean, you can succeed at being, you know, a loving mother.

But there's, there was no, there was no trophy at the end of the day. There's not like somebody. And for three. Your five year old doesn't, you know, look over it. You go, mom, you did such a good job being a mom today. Like, that doesn't happen. Whereas like in a job, you know what? You get the, you know what?

that was a bad decision. You did not do a good job at that. But you also get the, wow, Blake Shelton just won male vocalist of the year. Yeah. Congratulations. Yes. You can see that.

You can see it. Whereas mothering is blind. I mean, you just pray that you're doing the right thing and you still don't know if you're doing the right thing. Yes. So I think that that was, I had to do a lot of that diving into what I thought and really kind of changing those perspectives.

What did you learn in that season of dying every day to yourself? What did you learn about yourself? Oh gosh, I'm better when I'm working. No, I think I learned that that success is sometimes not measured. You know, I think that, and this is my own personal story and my own personal journey, so I think it will be different for everybody. But there was so much that was built up for me in what I could accomplish. And I think, I, I feel like I learned to just truly do my very best. I do my best. And then at the end of the day, just go, you did everything you could do today.

You did the best you could do. And it wasn't pretty when you yelled at cash in the tub. But give yourself some grace. And you've got a new day tomorrow. Your kids know that you love them and go to the next thing. I mean, it wasn't a easy season for me. But I feel like I learn so much about what I'm capable of, which I'm thankful for. What did you do with your ego?

The ego that needed to work. Ooh, the ego had to die too. I know. The dying of the ego is really hard, especially when you're really good at stuff. Yeah. And I, you know, and I have other wives that have been very supportive of this. But I have, I've had a really hard time. Since I had built my career, I had a really hard time being.

just Dave's wife, you know. That's a very hard thing for me. I get that. I'm not, it's not a bad thing. It's not a bad thing to be someone's wife. I'm proud that he is my husband. And some women, that's all they want is to be a stay-at-home mom and someone's wife. And that's great.

But when you are this working force and that's a huge part of what makes you feel alive, then that's not enough. Yeah. And I think that there's a lot of that too where you have to spend time with the Lord and go, I need you to tell me who I am. I need you to say who I am because I think I am this and these people think I am this and my husband thinks I'm this, but I know that you tell me who I am. And so I think these last couple of years, I've really flown closer to my relationship

with the Lord, which has been such a blessing. I wouldn't have done that. I wouldn't have done that. How do you, what does that look like for you? When you're getting close to God, like what are you doing? Well, I'm still learning, but something that I feel like, has been really helpful to me is I feel as if God has always been someone who, yeah, I mean, he made this, he's in control, but what is he really in control? Because I'm the one who's making

all these decisions. Yeah. So learning to rest and have faith. And truly what that looks like for me is I have to picture myself sitting with God and putting my head on his shoulder and being vulnerable and saying, you know what? I don't know what to do with this situation. I need you to take it. How does the answer you? It's not like audible, but I think with the peace that I feel, I mean, I also feel, I also feel as if he leads me towards an answer. And by like opening doors or presenting opportunities. Presuming opportunities. Also, you know, we just have gone through this decision-making process for our kindergarten for our son, which was hugely stressful for me. Very, very difficult and I mean I probably obsessed over it more than ever I ever should have at the end of the day

we had gotten it down to two schools that we were super excited about both were amazing the pros and cons were very even at the end of the day I had to just go God you've given me the opportunity to make a decision so I'm going to make a decision I'm going to ask you to bless it and if it's wrong then I need you to lead us somewhere else. I love that. I love that. And does it feel, do you make, so when you're in that position,

do you go by what feels more peaceful? I'm not really looking for that feeling. I'm really just, I'm trusting that God is just going to be who he says he is, which is always there with me and faithful and ever present. And so I'm just banking that the Holy Spirit is helping me make that decision. But those schools are equal. Like they both line up.

They both check all the boxes that you need. What in you? You go with a feeling. Yeah. And that had a feeling. I had a feeling. I had been trying to push against that feeling. And once I finally,

once somebody said like, God has given you the gift of discernment. You are a discerning, loving parent. You are doing nothing but the best for your son. You are equipped to make the decision. I was like, well then I yeah I know this decision then you knew exactly which one yeah so you already knew it I did but I was questioning myself and I that's that goes back to when you put it back in your hands and I'm in control of

well if we make the wrong choice it's his life will be horrible and he'll never have friends and you know you just run play through that all in your mind and when you really it's all make believe it's all fake I mean it's all fake it hasn't happened it's and what you're thinking won't I literally am like having a big dose of that right now. Like after since having Sunny, like I've had more anxiety in my life than I have ever had just going through everything that could happen that's wrong and me preventing her like barely taking her in public like the first four months of her life because I was so afraid of people sneezing on

her, you know? Totally. And then it's like, oh gosh, now with coronavirus. I don't know. Coronavirus hits. Like what are you going to do? Our husband's travel. Like am I going to send Michael to hotel when he comes back?

Like you could get it anywhere or maybe it's not even a real thing. Who knows what's happening? But then you're sitting in all your safety that you've built for yourself in a tornado sweeps through your neighborhood. And I'm like, okay, what am I going to do? And like, I think the Kobe Bryant thing has shaken the world up because you can't be more at the top of your game. You can't have better opportunities. You can't have more safety built in. Yeah. He was in the best of the best of the best. And look what can happen there. So it's like, what are we even stressing about, you know, because. And I, there's got to be. there is got to be some comfort. It's just how do you access that comfort of knowing that you have no control over the future and that it's going to be okay.

Like that anxiety that you are perpetuating is not going to change the outcome of what's happening. Like if you're going to die tomorrow, you're going to die tomorrow. If you're not, then you're just continually putting that anxiety into a cycle and it's pointless. It truly is make believe. And I'm finally, I think with me, like, I'm having a breaking point with, like, Sunny and life and everything. And I'm just like, I, my prayer to God every single day is like, God, just guide me. Like, I don't know what I'm doing. I literally can't even see the road.

Like, I don't know where this is supposed to go in any area of my life, like, at all, which is crazy. Because I like to have things all planned and safe and, you know, like, Michael and are, like, moving right now. And then like it's just all these things and like his career. They just signed a new record deal and like a new single and like I'm trying to do my podcast. And Sunny like what is the best for her? And I'm like, I don't even know how to control any of this. So I'm focusing on blessings and then just saying God guide me kind of what you're saying. Give me the peace.

Right. Shut the doors that are supposed to be shut open. If they're not, if they're not shedding, I'm going to keep walking. Right. Right. The best to my intuition. Yeah. And I mean, hear me say too, there are people who have clinical anxiety that do

need to get help for that. Of course. Yes. So it's not always like just give it to God. Like that I don't want to sound. No, I agree. There are people who have real problems with that. So don't hear me say that. But I do think that there's something that we do to ourselves on a regular basis.

And I think that before I left work, I just didn't realize how much anxiety I cared with me every single day. And there was such freedom in going, I don't, I don't have anything to care about except for what's right in front of me right now. So I think I needed that stop. And that reset. That reset button for me. That was important.

It probably felt like you had to care about all that stuff. And that's just a part of your life. And then you actually realized that was the job. Right. That actually isn't me. That is 100% true. Because you get so wrapped up in it. And your job is people.

It's like actual human beings, artists. And like making it. So you're very, it's very. very personal. Yes. Yeah. I needed that reset button. Wow. Yeah. So then you decided to creep back into it. Yeah. Yeah. I also, I knew that I was always going to go back to work at some point. I kind of had anticipated it wouldn't be until Lily was in full time school. But I also knew that I was going to listen if the Lord put something on my heart and open a door that I feel like I would have never thought to open. but I knew that I was going to have to be passionate about it. And probably it wouldn't be in music because I needed, I'm still in a little detox from the music business.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I've had a friend for a very long time who asked me if I would manage her career. She's not in music, but she is an entertainment. She's a book author and a podcast host in the faith space. She's an amazing woman of faith that I have admired. for a very long time. So her name is Annie Downs. Check out our podcast. That sounds fun. That sounds fun. That sounds fun. That sounds fun. Yeah. But she asked me, we were literally at dinner with another friend of ours alley at a restaurant here in town. And she just brought it up again. Not again.

I mean, I guess she had always said to me, I would love for you to manage me, but it had never been like a serious question. So she asked me if I would take on her career stuff. And I was like, you know what? that's something that I 100% believe in. I 100% believe in what you're doing and how you're doing it. And I said, let me talk to Dave and I'll get back to you. Because we do make those decisions together.

I mean, even as I sit here today, like we're making a decision together, even though it obviously Lady A stuff is so much bigger than just two people, but they also allow themselves to make decisions as couples and as a group as opposed to like... You have a very healthy band family relationship. We do.

You've worked for it. We have. We have. All of y'all in there, I can see individually have worked on themselves. Yeah, all individually and then together too. So... Awesome. But we've made the decision that we feel like we could make it work and I have a flexible

schedule to where I can really work hard when my kids are not here and then when they are that I can pick them up from school. And Annie obviously is someone who believes. leaves in that the family unit and so she knows you and what you're capable of she doesn't care she doesn't care if i'm picking my kids up it too she knows she needs the job to get done and she knows she'll do it yeah and that is such a freeing thing for me because i feel like i came from a place it was like if you the music industry itself it's like if you don't look like you're working hard then people don't think you are right which is such a joke right there's so much wasted time yes

oh yeah and it's like so many lunches fake it lunches lunches and then showing up to all these night showcases and shows and you're just like, you know. I'm seen. Yeah. Just be seen so that you look like you're working hard. And a lot of people do work hard. I don't want you to say hear that. They do.

A lot of them do work really hard. But I just got to a point where it was just, it wasn't worth it for me anymore. So now you're just able to do your own schedule. Yes. It's really nice. And do something I really, really love. I mean, I'm doing using all my skills. for Annie. I'm using everything that I'm good at, but I'm doing it for something that I believe

can change lives because of her platform and who she is and what she does. That's awesome. Do you feel peace? I do. I feel really joyful. I don't feel like it's, I don't feel like even three, four years ago, I could have said. I feel joy because I feel joy now. Like when you wake up, do you feel joy? Yeah, I mean, when I wake up, it's usually to a five-year-old in my face, But that's not super joyful. But I do. I just feel there's not a weight there anymore. You know, and there are some days that there is a weight there.

I'm not saying it's like all happy, you know, kittens and puppies all day, every day. But I can at least see the joy and be thankful for how God has changed me over these last few years. I'm super, super thankful. What's a moment when you think on it that brings you. much joy. I mean, this may sound really simple, but I feel joyful that I have two beautiful kids that are healthy. I feel joyful that I have a husband who loves me and shows it and that I love him and that we can

do life the way we want to do life and not have to fit it into what maybe other people think it looks like. I feel joyful that I can use my gifts. All those little things add up and do. to the big joy box, I guess I should say. But I love looking at the little things that make life maybe seem simple, but are really beautiful moments. I like to talk to people about their self-talk, too.

Yeah. Because I didn't even realize self-talk was a thing for a long time until I realized I had really negative self-talk. What does your self-talk look like? Do you have different versions of your self-talk? Well, I'll be honest and say that I'm not good at. And so I sometimes have to like even make note, like write notes to myself every once in a while to like remind myself. But the number one thing that I say to myself that I feel like I have to repeat is it is okay to be you the way that God made you and not the person you think everybody thinks you are.

Just be who you are. people love you for you and you know who what's in your heart and soul and how you share your life with them not what you accomplished or who your husband is that doesn't that's not your that doesn't define you and your self-worth is that the answer to your question i don't know if it was when you're in a project how are you talking to yourself i usually but well i'll say right now it's more like you know how to do this do this you're this is you're perfectly equipped to do this just do it don't think about it try not to overthink everything i have to tell myself that i am i am equipped yeah there's so much of even you know obviously i was a vice president at a very young

age and a lot of what i told myself was people don't think you're worthy people don't think that you're that good people don't think you deserve your position so i was working a long time and you're here you are 25 yeah and so i think i felt i needed to like prove myself all the time I'm and I don't feel I have to prove myself anymore. I just know what I'm capable of, but I also know what my weaknesses are. And I know that I can identify what I'm not good at. And I either A,

have somebody else doing it or I have people speaking into my life that says, you know, it's okay that you're not good at, like, that's not your thing. Don't worry about that. I don't have people. It's not like this, I have to take over the whole thing and you know. Right. You're cool to outsource. I'm cool to outsource and I'm also cool to say, that's just not something I'm great at. Yeah. Knowing, knowing yourself, knowing your strengths,

know your weaknesses. Well, in my previous life, my previous life, I wouldn't have done that because that would look like weakness. And I only think that that looks like strength now. It looks like strength to go, I am not sure I can do this. Will you help me? Yeah. Confidence. That's really confidence. A hundred percent. Yeah. What would you tell your younger self? What would you tell your 25-year-old self? I think I would say to slow down and look around you. Don't miss the people that you're getting to walk in life with.

Don't miss them. Don't miss these moments. I was so focused on achieving and getting better and that I feel like sometimes I missed moments with people that are really special to me. I love that. Okay, we're going to wrap up. Two more questions. Okay.

This is a big one. Okay. A big one. Uh-oh. What is the point of this life? With all the things that are happening, the chances to achieve to climb a ladder. Yeah. The chances to have love and children and adventurous life.

Tragedy, hardship. Yeah. All the things that discerns constant dance. It's all of it. Why are we experiencing this? And how do we navigate it? Like, what is the point of it? Well, not to give the Bible study answer because I truly believe this.

I believe that we're all here put on this earth to glorify God. And all of the pain and suffering is not his plan, but he can be glorified through it. And I think that my whole goal and, you know, and I have to remind myself, it's not like I wake up every day and go, how can I glorify God today? I'm not that great of a person. But I do think that it helps me when I go, why is everything falling apart? What is going on? It helps me to go, where can I see God in this? Where will he get me through this? Because I know that my, that everyone, the whole point of this situation is for us to bring glory to him. Because it all ultimately is. Yeah. And that, that's just my, my faith journey.

in what I truly believe. And then I wrap every podcast up with, leave your light. So, I mean, we sort of, your whole thing is inspiring. But what do you want people to know, just anything?

I want people to know that it's okay not to have it all together. It's okay for you to want and desire things and not have it. And it's okay for you to want for those things. But it's also okay for you to be vulnerable and say, I don't have it all together.

I need help. I want community. I want, you know, you want more friends. You say, I want to be in community. Like,

vulnerability, I think is a word that gets thrown around. Thank you, Brune Brown, quite a bit. But I do think, if you really think about how, what that does to people,

if you both stand there, like you and I were both sitting here naked. Yeah. I mean, we would be, it would offer a lot of opportunities for us to really just be real with each of. other. Yeah. So I just, I don't know. I think that I want people to, it's okay for you to want and

strive for things, but also just know who you are deep down and know that it's okay to be who you are and struggle. And I don't think that was very good. That's great. It kind of leads me to one more question that I want to end with. What would you tell someone who feels just completely less? They don't know what their dream is. They feel overwhelmed. They don't feel like they have any bright future in front of them. They want to be something great, but they don't even know where to start. They don't, maybe you don't even know their talent or what they're good at. Like, they feel just sort of like at a dead end hopeless road. How would you tell someone to even start? What do you even do in that position? Pray. I mean, so much of what these last two years with once my daughter was

born was me just saying I was feeling that same thing. What is it? Why did God put me on this earth? I mean, obviously, nothing is happening for me. I'm not cool. Like nobody, you know. Just totally not true, but that's how you felt. But that's how I felt.

And so I would, I just remember praying that God would give me a sign and that it didn't have to be like this big, you know, flash in the sky. But it ended up being a door. Ended up being a door. He opened a door. Oh, like a figurative door. Yeah, he opened a figurative door, but I just felt like me being in constant conversation with God and working on my prayer life with him has helped me kind of decipher what it is that I am looking for. You know, I think some people are like, I don't know what my passion is.

Well, if you don't know it, no one else knows it. But I'm not saying you should know at this moment. I don't know. I didn't know what my passion was either. I knew what I was good at, but I didn't know what I really wanted to do to make my mark. But you just started. Like you got to Nashville on singing. You took a job as an assistant.

Just keep going. You let it lead you. Absolutely. So you just gave the answer. It's like you just keep going. You put one foot in front of the other. You show up. You show up for your friends.

You show up for your people. You show up for your job. Take notice of what you find interesting. Yeah. And just keep doing it. And I believe that if you. are doing that and you put one foot in front of the other and you're showing up. Really, really showing up and looking for how, if there is a door that the Lord can open, that it'll be there for you.

It'll open. And maybe you'll have a light, bold moment or maybe you'll just make a decision that lead you down a path that you're like, wow, this is the path I was always meant to go down. It just keeps showing up. Wherever you get a chance to show up, that feels like love, it feels good, just do it. Yeah. Kelly Haywood in the house, thank you for this. This is. She was like before we, and I'm sure you're going to say something after this. She's like, this might not even be good. I'm like, Kelly, this is going to be so freaking good. No, this is great.

Thank you so much for joining me. You're so inspiring. Oh, you're sweet. Thank you. Bye. All right. If you have ever dealt with a traditional home security company, you know the drill. Expensive monthly fees, contracts that lock you in for years,

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