The Bobby Bones Show - BONUS: Get Real with Caroline Hobby - Lauren Akins: life + love with Thomas Rhett since first grade, secret to marriage & why their marriage isn’t perfect, navigating 2 kids under 3 yrs old!

Episode Date: August 27, 2019

Bonus: Check out Get Real with Caroline Hobby!Lauren and Thomas Rhett met when they were in first grade. They were great friends then tried dating around 15 years old. It didn’t work out then, but they stayed besties and after college TR confessed his love to Lauren and dared her to kiss him. The rest is history.  Lauren walks me through their whole love story, why their marriage isn’t perfect, their love of therapy, life on the road when they were newlyweds (it’s not always glamorous or fun FYI), becoming a huge celebrity in her own right and how she learned to process it. She then shares how she fell in love with the children and families of Haiti and Africa and knowing she was called to work with and change lives of children in need. She talks about finding balance between the poverty of 3rd world countries, where her heart lives, to walking red carpets.  Plus how she learned to embrace her platform to spread awareness of how her community can help those in need.  Also we talk about how TR knew they should instantly adopt Willa Gray and how they navigated being new parents to a 1.5 year old and newborn at the same time! Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Open doors to the future for you and your family with the help of American Military University. That's AMU. .APUS. .-E-D-U-S-Military. Hey, guys, glad you're on the podcast feed. I appreciate you listen to the show. And if you're here, it means you listen to the show, but there's also another show I'd like to recommend. It's called Get Real with Caroline Hobby.

Maybe you've heard me talk about it on our show. Each week, Caroline sits down with really a lot of the wives of the biggest artists in country music. Caroline Bryan's great episode. Haley Hubbard, Tyler Hubbard's wife from Florida, Georgia Line. Abby Smires, it's Dan's wife from Dan and Shea. She's also married to a country artist. You know, it's honest women having real conversations. On this episode, you will hear her talk to Thomas Rett's wife, Lauren Aikins.

They talk about the first time they met, their kids. You can subscribe to the Get Real podcast. on Apple Podcasts. Listen on IHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcast. And check it out. If you like this, enjoy. It's called Get Real with Caroline Hobby. Check it out.

Hey, you guys. This episode of Get Real Podcast is so amazing. I have Lauren Aiken's on. She's the wife of Thomas Ret. I don't even know where to start with all of the incredible journey that she shares with me. From meeting Thomas Ret when they were five in kindergarten to briefly dating when they were in middle school, breaking up, dating other people. falling back in love, him professing his love to her, saying he'd been in love with her for years,

then them getting married, life on the road, her getting her own fan base and celebrity, huge fan base and celebrity, based off of his songs, him making her such a crucial part of his music and career, them adopting Willa Gray from Africa, that whole process, how much her heart is called to Africa and the orphans and changing the world and changing lives of children and keeping families together, how she's learned to embrace her platform that she naturally isn't comfortable with, but she's learned to embrace it because she has such a message, she has such a message that she wants to share with the world to how they make their marriage work, why they love therapy, how Thomas Wrett knew instantly that he was going to adopt

Willa Gray with her. It is the most incredible episode. So y'all get excited for Lauren Akins and her journey. It's so beautiful. Here she is. Hello, hello, hello. Hello. I'm here with Lauren Atkins.

Akins. Everybody says different. There's no D. No, no D, no T. So what do people call you? What are the names that you get mixed up by? Oh, they're good. They're really good.

so I didn't think about this when I was creating my Instagram. It's like LAR. Do people call you LAR? People call me LAR all the time. I mean like people who have grown up with me, my husband, our family, they call me LAR. And so when I was creating a name, I think, I guess Lauren or I don't know, I don't know why I picked LAR, but I was just like, I'm going to do LAR. And then with my last name, Aiken's, it looked like Laren. If you were to put,

it was Al the underscore. So I put the underscore in between. So it's Lar underscore Aikens. But people still see it and somehow they still think my name was Laura. And then they don't realize that Thomas Rett's last name is Aikens.

Because he's got that double name. We love double names. Your daughter's are double names. That's right. So they think that our last name is Rhett. So a lot of times people will go, Laura Rett. Laura Rett.

A Larrette. I'm like, oh gosh, this is just not good. And then our girls have kind of hard names too because Willa, there aren't a ton of Willas. I love that. But Willow, people always think her name is Willow. And then Gray isn't a super common name, but my brother's name is Grayson. So that's kind of how we came up with the gray. But people think it's Grace.

So she gets called Willow Grace. Willow Grace. And then Ada, also not. a common name and James is a boy name. And so they think that she is Ava Jane. So y'all just want to, y'all just like to keep it interesting. Okay. Next maybe we're going to go with the most generic easy to remember name. You're going to go with Betty Sue. Right. That's right. So I don't know. We'll see. But yeah, we've got we've got trouble with our names. But you're just Lauren. There's no double name for you. No, no double name. Okay. Okay, so your story is kind of amazing. You're one of the

few, like, unicorns of the city because you're from Nashville. That's right. What is it like being an actual Nashville native? Because so many people are transplants. Yeah, and Thomas is a native too, right? Well, he moved here when he was like a toddler, a little bitty. So basically. Yeah, so this is all he he remembers. But he moved here because his dad, his dad, Rhett, Rhett, Aikins. Oh, he's saying, that's my house and that's my yon right so that's Toby Keith yeah yeah that is toby Keith no dang it no that ain't my truck that ain't my truck okay yeah I was gonna sing it for you but I promise you don't want to hear it so I was gonna let you take that I love he was one of my favorite 90s country I know he was good 90s country's the best well he still is good he's songwriter of the year you know I mean he's just

done that a few times and been I don't he's got like 29 number ones or something crazy crazy as a songwriter he's he's insane and how cool though now that thomas has grown up and become a singer and successful and now they get to write together tour together have that together is that been really sweet it's so sweet it's really cool to watch them bond over something that i just can't even relate to so they have a relationship i mean i'm sure there are lots of dads and sons they get to work together, but there's something about the music industry that is just magic, too, and then seeing them do that together is really cool. And he's actually on tour with Thomas Brett this year. He's opening for him. So, it's, um, what's their dynamic together? I mean, they're just, they're like

the ultimate father-son duo. I mean, when they get on stage together, they just play off of each other and they're both like such natural entertainers and they're brilliant and their writing and how they talk with a crowd and it's really it's really cool to watch but um this year will be interesting with them on the road with us why i mean they live right around the corner from us okay so like we do life together off the road but we've never done life together on the road okay um he's come out I mean he'll come out for a couple of weekends here and there but I mean we're about to be living together what do you think it's going to be on the road I mean I'm sure it will just be like a dream come true for both of them.

I mean, can you imagine like somebody that you already love, but then getting to like do the thing you love with them for a whole tour? That's really sweet. Yeah. It'll be awesome. So, okay, so Thomas Movedere and who's three because his dad was obviously a country singer in doing that. So then did you guys meet in kindergarten?

Is that what I, is that what I heard? So he didn't go to my school in. kindergarten but he came in first grade. Was it love in first grade? No. Actually, we didn't even really hang out with each other until, I mean, you don't really hang out anyways in elementary, but we became really close in middle school. Okay. We knew who each other was. Our school wasn't very big, but yeah, we got to be really, really close. Like besties or was you like your boyfriend in middle school? No, no, no, no, definitely not in middle school. We were just like really, really close.

But then when we were 15, we did date. Okay. We were sophomores in high school. And did you ever break up? Oh, yeah. Was that the start of a- Lots and lots of breakups. Okay, so what, how did the road go?

So we, I think I had a tendency to date people that I was really close with as a friend first. that's kind of how most of the boyfriends I ever had. That's how it went. Just because if we can't laugh and have fun together, then there's no point us hanging out. And so, yeah, we were just really, really close. And then as we got older and our friends started driving, and we were doing a lot outside of home, outside of school,

a lot of hanging out. And one of our girlfriends, Raleigh, I remember after school one day, she was like, you know what? What if you and Thomas Shrette dated? And I was like, ew. Ew. Why?

And she was like, I don't know. I just think y'all get along so well. And he's so cute. And like, I bet he likes you. And I was like, what are you talking about? I don't even remember how it started. But we did. So I don't know.

She talked to me into it. And I was like, all right. Yeah, maybe. Maybe we should try it out. So we dated off and on for like, I don't know, six months to a year, which I feel like is kind of long for a sophomore year. Yeah. Dating. Yeah.

How did it go the first round? We were much better friends at that age. Okay. So then how did the love spark start to bubble up? So we, when we broke up, I guess we were, it was like at the end of our sophomore year. Okay. And then that summer, both of us started dating other people that both went to our school. Actually, the guy I started dating was about to go off to college.

And he was dating a girl that was a year older than us in school. And so we never, they weren't close friends. So like we didn't hang out as much after that. we saw each other like with our group of friends but as far as the dating life we just didn't stay super close but then when we went off to college our senior year there's something about a senior year that just kind of brings everybody really close together so I guess our junior year we kind of were friends but didn't hang out as much I mean we had just dated for a while so we kind of took a break from being besties but then it kind of came back around our senior year because I was

actually ended up dating a different guy that year. And I think it's good y'all dated around before you just got married. Yeah, we did. Yeah. But then I dated, the guy I was dating my senior year, I ended up dating for five years. And then he are almost. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

And then he. You dated in a whole college career. Yeah. Well, till my senior year. And that's when me and Thomas Dreck got back together. How did that all go down? That feels like something. So he dated the girl that was a year older.

for I think almost five years too. I mean, they dated a while too into college. They both went to Lipscomb and then me and my boyfriend went to the University of Tennessee. Go balls. And so Thomas Rett would come up

on the weekends because we had the football, we had the big campus, we had no curfew. Yeah, because Lipscomb is like Christian school, right? Yeah, and there were, you know, parameters that you couldn't go outside of as far as curfews and different things. And so I think his wild side, he was like, I'm going to go to Knoxville for the

weekend and, you know, did you help him find his wild side? Well, he would always stay with me when he would come to town. Um, and he would hang out with me and my boyfriend and all of our friends. And then he would sleep on our couch. And, um, yeah, so he. And your boyfriend was like, cool, whatever. Yeah, I mean, well, we all lived in the same complex. My boyfriend lived. you know, a couple apartments over or whatever. And then me and my girlfriends, my roommates, loved him and had known him for years. And so we all were just close and just hang out.

And I didn't think anything about it ever. And my boyfriend didn't either. I mean, we just, we were just friends. Yeah. But my boyfriend and I broke up at the end of my junior year. And I guess, for whatever reason, Thomas Strutt, at that point, something inside of him was just like I've got to tell her how I feel because if I don't now I don't know that I ever will. So have he loved you since middle school? Yeah so that's well he told me

at my sister's graduation party in May. We were back in Nashville obviously at my parents house for my sister's graduating from high school. He stayed close with your whole family if he's at your sister's graduation together even while we weren't dating I would go on vacation to his families beach house and sometimes he would be there sometimes you wouldn't i mean that's that's crazy close we're very close our sisters are best friends oh whoa yeah it continues it just it's deep it's a deep deep bond with our families you really could not avoid this right well and so at my sister's graduation party everybody was like you've got to tell her you've got to tell everybody knew except for me is he still with his girlfriend no they had broken up i think like a year before okay um so he's like this is my

moment. This is my moment. And he was like, everybody had gone home. It was like 2 a.m. Like, we'd been sit on the front porch talking for like hours. And then he was like, hey, um, I've got to tell you something. I was like, okay. And he was like, I've been in love with you since I was 15 years old. And, um, I mean, I feel like I'm going to cry. Like, I literally fear, feel tears in my eyes. I mean, it was, well, well, and you would think. Holy, like, oh, your heart's melting. That is so sweet. Yeah. But my

initial reaction was, A, I had just gotten out of a relationship with the guy that I loved. I mean, I loved him. I loved his family. It was a really, really hard breakup. And so I was like on the rebound still. Try to get your mingle on me. Yeah, yeah.

I'm like, I'm not trying to, well, that's when he said that I was like, first of all, you've ruined our friendship. Like, I can't, we can't be friends anymore. me knowing this about you. And second of all, absolutely not. If we were to ever date, if we were even going to try this out,

it would just be rebound. Like, I am not in any state to be dating somebody. Yeah. And I remember, which was so not his personality or so not the 16 year old that I dated, him saying, well, let's just roll with it and see what happened.

And I was like, what? Like, who are you? Who are you? Because first of all, let's just roll with it. just roll with it like he's the most like he worries about everything everything induces so much anxiety i feel like with him and he he's not just rolling with it especially the love of his life so when he said that i was like wait a second you're you're lying you're not are you the same person

that i dated when i was 15 so had he changed into this chill out chilled out roll with the guy I found out later that his stepdad, Tim, who is like one of the most wonderful people on this planet, has been coaching him on like what to say. And Tim was like, dude, you play it cool. Stop. You play it cool no matter what. And do you just stick to your guns. I was like, you stick to like, all right, cool. Like, let's just roll with it. Let's just see what happens. And so like, Thomas rides up there dying inside, but he's like, oh, yeah, yeah. Let's just roll with it. Let's roll with it. Um, yeah. So how did rolling with it go? Did you ever get to rebound with anybody else?

Thomas Rowe. It was just him. And I think it worked because we were so close already. Like we knew whenever he'd be going through stuff with his girlfriend who he loved at the time, he would be heartbroken over their relationship. And then I'd be heartbroken over me and Michael's relationship. And we'd always talk to each other. Like, what should I say?

What should I do? This is what's happening. So we just stayed. We stayed really close. We double dated a few times with each other and our boyfriend and girlfriend. Have y'all ever, like, gone back to your other relationships and talked to them about this? Were they like, I knew there was something there? Well, for a second, because it happened so quickly with him and I, a lot of people, not, I won't say a lot of people, but there was definitely talk of people being like, oh, something was happening before now, which really hurt my feelings because I was like, if you know me, I hope that you would know.

that that's not something I would do. And that I loved Michael and respected him as a person. Like, that's not something I would have done to him. Right. But I get people make mistakes and you're surprised all the time when things happen. So I can't fault them for talking about it, but it hurt my feelings. And I was like, you know what? Time will tell.

And I'll just let it roll. I'll just roll with it. I hope y'all get that like on some of it. sort of mural. I'm sorry to your house. Yeah, so both of our exes are happily married. And actually his ex goes to our church and we see them every now and then. And they had a baby right before we had Ada James.

And so through pregnancy and labor and delivery, I was asking Casey all kinds of questions because she had just gone through it all. And so we've stayed really close. and through the adoption, Casey was one of the girls on my group texts of girls that I would send prayer requests out daily about the adoption. Like, hey, today we really need this to happen. And so she was getting all these and she was praying for us through bringing Willa Gray home. That's amazing. Yeah. And then Michael and his now wife, you know, when we have parties or do whatever, they're always here. That's incredible. We just stay really close. I love that. I mean, there's definitely a period where you have

to like give it a moment. But this is a lot about you and try around threat though, that you all have that kind of personality that it like could end so well and yeah. Everyone still respect each other and move on. And I just think a starting off as friends, it would be so sad to lose that friendship, you know. So I think that's what's important to us is that, you know, you give it the respectable amount of time that each heart needs to move past the loving part of the relationship,

the in love part of the relationship. but then bring it back around to that friendship one day. So what did you and Thomas Red's relationship look like after y'all started rolling with it and y'all, you know, were, this was your rebound. So how did that go? Yeah, it was my rebound. So I just would never commit to it. I was like, we can hang out.

We can go on dates. We can, you know. Was it weird to like make out for the first time? Yeah. Well, just because I was like so thrown off. He was in such the friend zone. He was such the friend zone. And I was just not, it grossed me out to think about it, truly.

Because I was like, really, brother and sister. Yeah, this is like incestual. Yeah, right. Yeah. That's what I felt. And then when we kissed, I was like, wait a second. That's not so bad. Maybe there's something else I've been missing.

Yeah, it was, it moved fast, though. I mean, I remember. Was it like, here's Thomas Reth the man now? Yes. truly. I was like, when did I miss you growing up? Like, how did I miss that? But I totally did. And we still just had just as much fun, if not more fun, when we were dating because he was still my best friend. But then I just got to kiss him anytime I wanted. So it was perfect. And then our families are close. So it's just, and still, still are. I mean, we're still all of us so, so close and do

vacations together and we all were at the farm for Easter. Oh my gosh. And I just do everything together. When he said, I remember something. I remember the next morning. So my sister's graduation party was the night before graduation. And we stayed up so like, like super late the night before. And at the end of the night, he dared me to kiss him. Oh my gosh. And I was like, no. After he confessed his love. No, no, no. Yeah. And he was like, can we just try it just one time. And if you hate it, then it, then just leave it on. I'll never mention it again. We don't even have to be friends anymore. Like, we'll just drop it. I was like, no, absolutely not. And we ended up kissing at the end of that. I was like, fine. Like he, he stood up to go inside. I'm like, I got to go to bed. My sister's

graduating like in a few hours and I've got to go to sleep. And so he, I remember he stood up and blocked me from walking past him on the front porch to go. He was getting this kiss. He was like, one kiss and I'll leave it alone. I was like, what? I'm so confused right now. And I was like, well, what do I have to lose? Well, a great friendship, but here we go. Right, right, right. Well, that's already lost to this point. Yeah, truly. So, yeah, we kissed and I remember, like, kept pulling back from it and looking at him and being so confused. And then I'm pretty sure we just kissed again because I was like, can we just try that one more time? Um, and so, anyways he went home I went to bed we were both at my sister's graduation the next morning was it like

awkward the next day a little bit no it was like we were both so giddy kind of like hey you remember what happened last night um and I remember my sister sitting on the stage of her graduation and you know we were up close watching her and close enough to where her and I made eye contact and my eyes got really big and I was trying to like tell her like we kissed last night While she's on stage. And I remember her, like, finally at clicking what I was telling her from the crowd. And when I tell you, she was, like, so trying to play at chill and was freaking out on stage. It was so, so funny.

But, yeah, we, it went really fast. That summer, I kept calling it a rebound. But I knew at the end of that summer when I had to go back to school for my senior year of college. that I was just like, I don't know how I'm going to live without him. And then he was starting radio tour. Clearly, it worked out. And he kept going. So how did you wrap around, wrap your head around being in this lifestyle of kind of instability

for a while, at least in the beginning? Yeah. I think we were so early on in our relationship that I didn't really care or I didn't think that I cared. I remember thinking like as long as we're just. together, I don't care what you do. But I had to finish nursing school and he was on radio tour. So we were apart a lot my senior year. And that was really, really hard for me. And then that summer after I graduated, he was touring a lot too. And then one of my very best friends, he was like a little

brother to me that lived across the street. He passed away that April of my senior year. And And so I think I was like missing my husband and then we had that happen. And I was just in a really like homesick place. When you lose somebody so close to you and then you're apart from the person you love, like my heart was just hurting so bad. And we were engaged at that spring. So we got engaged the Christmas after we got together. And so I was engaged when I grew up.

graduated college, but I just remember thinking, I don't care what your career is. As long as I can be with you, like that will just help my heart. And so I didn't care. And then we got married that October. And then I started traveling with him a lot more. And what did you think about road life? It was okay. We shared a bunk on a 12-person bunk, a 12-person bus. That's tight. And not like, that's cool. Like, that's tight. Right. And as newly well. And as newlywet. it's like you've got zero privacy yeah you're on a bus with yeah it was um so of wait it's it's just it doesn't it's not ideal well you just like you know really breathe you can barely breathe but also as newly wed you're like this is what newlyweds do like where else is this going to happen because we're just

we're gone all the time yeah you just make it work where you can and you just i mean my take your moment when you can i mean now since we're all married we can talk about this but being honest we're like michael I would go like when we got to like the shows and find like arena bathrooms that were abandoned like under the bleachers like in the back of the bus like lock the door like there's four couples on our bus so it's like if the door's locked don't come in there that's right that's right respect each other's relationships and if the door's locked don't come in I mean that's crazy yeah it that's that's tough on a marriage not having that space yes to be a married couple yeah so like so that was hard but it was also exciting because like doing things like that like makes it more exciting you know

so it was you know pros and cons to it but um yeah sharing a bunk and then having you know 12 guys on a bus yeah it was it was yeah it was tight you're right um but it very quickly got old it was fun for a little bit and his career taking off was cool and fun for a little bit and then and then it kind of got real and it was like oh this is real life we're never home for things we want to be home for and when i stay home you're gone so i can go to weddings but i'm like the forever dateless wedding attendee um all of that was hard for me um how did you make peace of it all Or how do you make these little? Yeah, because we're kind of still in that season.

There are just so many good things that come with what he does and seeing him like fulfill his dream. What are your favorite things that have come from it? Travel. Seeing the world. Seeing the world. I mean, it's truly, I've always wanted to travel and get to do things like that, but it costs money and it's not realistic for most people.

But he's getting paid to go to all these cities. And so I can just jump on the plane. And with Southwest being your $5 companion, it was nothing for us early on. It was like, it's only going to cost me five bucks to go with you. And we could share a bed so the hotel room that the label was already paying for. It's paid for. Right.

Yeah. So that was cool. And then we still get to do it. Now with kids, we still get to travel with him. It costs a little more money now. But y'all just pack the kids up and go. Just pack them up and go. Overseas too.

Yeah. Yeah. We just went to New Zealand and Australia. With all the kids? Yeah. How do you do that? With help. Yeah.

With help. So we hired a nanny this year. That's smart to go with you. We hired a nanny and she is truly sent straight from heaven. And same with our assistant, Mo. So Mo is our assistant. Mack is our nanny. Maureen and McKenzie.

We call them Mo and Mack. But yeah, they're just like our built-in family on the road. and they are girls adore both of them and they are two of them are truly some of my best friends now and um they just they roll with it with us and we just all kind of roll with it yeah and you just and the girls are good at traveling yeah i mean they're definitely the they they're kids yeah there are moments that are really fun and really easy and there are moments that are really really hard and you're just like so embarrassed that your kid is doing the thing that your kid is doing that when you were younger on an airplane without kids you're going gosh can you please control

your kid and I'm going I immediately regret ever thinking that to another parent um I would never say anything to but that definitely would get annoyed when the baby would be crying and I'm like gosh do you even discipline your kids and now I'm like just eating my words but um they're good they're good kids and they do some of the best advice I got as a parent was your kids are going to react the same way you do your kids are going to take things the same way you do so if you're freaking out in a situation they're going to look to you and they're probably going to freak out if you're playing it cool and you're like it's all right we got this we'll just roll with it they're going to follow your lead and just chill out and be like all right we got this yeah so I just am trying to

live by that motto of they're just going to see what we do and respond that way. And it's worked so far. I mean, it's definitely been hard, but it's so much better than if we were all apart. Yeah. So it's just worth it. So do they come on the road too? They do. Touring on the bus? Yeah, they do. They love it. They love the bus. Because they feel like they're all, you know, everybody's in a bunk. We're all having a big sleepover and they're close with our band and crew. And so it's. So they just love road life. They love it. They don't sleep. well but yeah it's you know you win some you lose some you've probably given up sleep a long time ago yeah that's not on top of your priority that's right that's right so it's it's it's fun i don't know

that we'll go every run this year just because we've got life happening here too um but the cool part about our relationship is we did have about five years without kids that's nice to have that foundation. Yeah. So we got to go do whatever it was. We wanted to go do. And now missing out on some things, I don't really feel like I'm missing out because we got to have our time. And now our girls are kind of, yeah, the priority. And so if they're not doing well or we've been gone too long, then I'll just stay home and we'll be like, see you when you get home, Daddy. Yeah. And you're okay with that. Yeah. I agree. I'm very grateful. Same kind of thing. Michael and I've been together like 10, 11 years, married five. And I'm just like, okay, now we're having our first baby.

And I'm like, I can handle this. You know, because you know what it's, what it's all like. Right. You don't feel left out. Right. Right. Exactly. And you can make plans for when you really want to do something. That's right. But it doesn't have to be like, oh my gosh, I feel like I'm just left behind. Right. Because that's a real feeling. He's taking off and leaving you. Because I do think some wives do feel that way. For sure. Or that like, they've got this glamorous life and you're stuck at home in the mess. Yeah. Which, to be quite honest, I still feel that way sometimes.

But, I mean, their life is not all glamorous. No. I give him a hard time about his job, but I know he's exhausted at the end of every day. And he does. He works really hard. And so you just, you got to be a team and you've got to each do your part and more. And then it does work out, but you've got to. What is a secret to marriage for you?

you guys um i mean i really think it's our friendship and us wanting to like serve each other because i think when you you know people say you've got to give you know every person's got to give their 50% and their marriage to make up that hundred but i think it's you've got to give more i think each person's got to give 100 and then then you're overflowing with the goodness and the help and serving each other and loving each other. And so you're not ever coming up short. I mean, I'm not saying that we don't ever come up short. There are definitely days where we're not clicking.

And I just want to cuss him up and down. Do you? No, I try and hold my time. But I'm sure he feels the same way toward me when I'm not having a good day, which happens. But do you feel like you've learned each other so well at this point that you're able to? Yes. I mean, this is your hashtag for life.

Roll with it, though. Like even when he's like, on your nerves and you want to cuss them up and down are you able to be like okay i've been here before i'm just going to move through this yeah and not make it a big deal right well and i think so much of it is like i could look at the things that drive me nuts about him and i have a list that's probably on one hand the things that really would cause a fight yeah i think because he he gives so much for me and our kids and i want to be doing the same thing for him that that the little that's a bad list goes down if you're each really trying hard to love and serve each other.

When I am having a rough day or if I'm being that wife that's nagging and negative and getting onto him, I have to remind myself that like, yeah, I might have this list of things that are driving me nuts and he's doing all of those today. But like what about the list that just doesn't end of the things that he's good at? What are the things that he's good at that you love? What are your favorite things that he does for you in the family um i mean i feel like i go back to friendship every time but just when we play when we're just playing all outside running around us the kids the dogs um like he's such a good kid like he just has so much fun with our kids and they have so much fun with him. And I mean, for him and I, when we kind of like have that moment of feeling

like we're dating again and he takes me out and we go to dinner and then go to a movie and we've got a babysitter and so we can stay up late and sit outside for hours if we want and drink more wine or just like those moments where he makes the time for him and I to have a moment, that speaks volumes to me. He really values you. Yeah. And I don't get moments with our kids. I mean, you will find out soon that all of your alone moments will be toast once you have a baby. But I mean, it's a good tradeoff because you've got your sweet babies. But he tries to leave that space for me. He tries to, he really tries to be like, hey, you know, what can I do to help you today? or what can I do to help you finish up the kitchen so we can get in bed?

You know, he, I don't know that we have ever, I mean, less than 10 times in our marriage, I bet that we have not gone to bed together. Really? He will wait up for me and her will turn on a movie. If I'm working on something or finishing something up that I want to be doing before I go to bed, he will turn on a movie or something on TV and try and stay awake until I get in the bed. He just,

he won't go to bed without me. And, um, it's sweet. It's sweet that he wants me to be such a part of his life and right next to him through all of it. I feel like I'm going to cry again. Um,

but he just, he leaves the space and he loves us so well that I, when I do get annoyed with him, I have to like remind myself that he is such a good man. And, um, He leads our family so well. And it's so when I am dateless at weddings, you're like, I have to remind myself of all the good things that I have and my husband and that not everybody gets to say all of those things.

And what about him making his whole career about you? Every single song he sings is about you. And you have this big of a fan club as he does. Like I will never forget, we were at Lake Shake, I think in Chicago and a thousand horses was playing. It was the Jason Audine tour, which 1,000 Horses Thomas Wrette and Jason were on. And the audience was chanting your name. Like, Lauren. Oh my gosh.

And I mean, you have millions of fans yourself. Like, he has made his whole career every song he sings, every music video about you and now your daughter. So, I mean, there's that, too. Yeah. Yeah. Right. We can just add that to the list of things. He is crowd.

He loves us. How does that feel, though, that he's made you your own musical. celebrity through his music. Well, are you ready for that? No. It came from a good place, so I can't get mad at him for it. But I would be lying if I told you that that was a dream of mine. I mean, I just, this podcast right here is, this is even out of my comfort zone, truly. And I'm not even talking to like, there aren't people watching me live right now, you know?

You're so outgoing. To my friends, I am, like to girls that know me and guys that know me. Like, yes, I, like, I will gladly get on a stage, be in the spotlight, have the whole room's attention if it's my close friends. But when it's people that I'm not sure of how they're taking me or what they think of me or I don't know what it is, but I freeze. I mean, he knows. He's pulled me on stage a couple of times. and the repercussions with it were not good. I mean, I just was like, honey, do not do that again.

Like, don't do it. Like, what do you feel inside? I'm not comfortable with it. Well, it's also weird because, A, I don't sing. So, like, what am I going to do? Walk out on stage and, like, just wave at everybody. Miss America. What do you want me to do?

So it's just, I feel so awkward. And it's his show. It's not my show. But it is your show. Well, I... I have a hard time swallowing that pill. I mean, die happy man is about you.

Then he had that life changes. Yeah. I mean, that is verbatim your life's story. I know. You know? I know. All these songs are young. It's a double-edged sword.

I mean, it's so sweet that that's what he wants to do with his career. But it does make me uncomfortable a little bit. And how much he loves your family that he wants. That's what he wants to do. wants it's it's precious that's really is sing about yeah it's sweet is y'all I mean that's bringing tears in my eyes so speaking of life changes in the song talk to me about how you got involved with Africa and when you knew that you were going to adopt Willa Gray because actually you were on tour with jay it was Thomas Jason and a thousand horses and I'll never forget

you were talking about how you were about to adopt and I remember thinking like I was I'm old I'm old how are you almost 30 Okay, so I was like, I'm like five years older than you, or five and a half. And you were like probably, what, 26 or 27 then? Yeah, 26. And I remember thinking like, oh my gosh, you are so mature that you're not only ready to have a kid, but you know how to adopt a kid. Like, how do you even know how to do all these hard rental things?

I'm like over here 33 and don't know anything about being a mom. And you're like, we're going to adopt a kid. And it's so exciting. I'm like, oh my gosh. Yeah. How did you feel called to do this? Like, I need to know. How did that all happen?

And how did you get involved with Africa? Because it stole your heart. Oh, yeah, yeah. So I went to Haiti first. That stole my heart, truly. I loved, loved, loved the people of Haiti. On a mission trip? Mm-hmm.

I went with Suzanne Marnick, who is the founder of Love One. It used to be called 147 million orphans, but we made a shift in what, yeah, they just, they kind of came up with a number that would raise awareness. They just picked a number. Okay. Because I don't think you can really know. Yeah. But there's a lot of orphans.

A lot of orphans. And so I went on a trip with Suzanne. And it was my first trip. That was when Die Happy Man started to go. Okay. And that won everything. Like Song of the Year, Singly Year. Yeah, it was the song that it definitely changed his career.

And then when I went to Haiti, I actually flew back into Vegas. No. Was that Haiti? I don't know. I remember one award show. I had just come from a third world country. And I remember it was Vegas. I don't remember what award show was. Maybe it wasn't ACMs. It may have been like, I don't know. I can't remember. But I remember locking myself in the bathroom in our hotel room when I landed and got to, because some of our family was there too. And I remember locking. myself in the bathroom and just crying for like an hour. Was it hard to like process? The reentry was. Yeah, because here you go seeing all really hard. This other world that doesn't have any of the things that we have and now you're going into like red carpet.

That's a big change. Yeah, it was horrible. What do that do to your heart? I just felt like, well, I started to resent his career. I started to resent a lot of the luxuries that we have in America because it made me sick to know that there were so many people that were without so much. And we're just over here partying and living the dream. Not worried about it.

Right. And it made me sick. I was like, how can we be living our lives here and just have such a blind eye to what's really happening in our world, to our human race? How did you deal with those feelings? It took a lot of processing. And Suzanne had been doing it for years. and she talked me through a lot of it

and I just had to talk it through with a lot of people and what did you come to? What is your hybrid answer? Because now you have a foot in both places. So how have you grasped being happy with both? In reality, I wouldn't be able to travel and do these things if he wasn't doing the career that he's doing because we wouldn't have the money.

It's expensive. It's expensive to go and travel and do those things. I mean, a trip to Africa is. really expensive. Yeah. And that's not staying in a nice hotel. I mean, you're staying in a safe hotel, but it's no five-star American hotel. It's not expensive because of that. It's the travel. It's, you know, the amount of work that we're doing over there that that cost a lot of money. And so raising money, state side, there's a lot of money that goes into the travel, into putting on big events to try and raise a lot of money because you need money to be able to put things into place to create

sustainable projects and helping whoever the people are you're trying to help it's not free. I mean, you can't just do all of that with no money. And so the platform that we have, we're able to like bring in the people who love us and follow us and want to be a part of what we're doing. and so we're just like this big community of people that are supporting each other. We're supporting people around the world and we wouldn't be able to do that if he wasn't in this career. So that gave you peace.

Yeah. So it was like, you know, I could feel so disconnected from the two, but I'm going to choose to try and blend the two worlds and tell my world in America and around the world who follows us what we're a part of and tell them how they can be a part of it and our needs and what we're our goals, what we're trying to do and show them pictures of the children whose lives are forever changed because of their support. And so that would be really hard to do if I just had, you know, 200 people watching me. I mean, we could definitely change some lives, but hundreds of lives are being changed

because of the following. So have you been able to embrace having a platform now? Because even though that's out of your comfort zone, now that you are able to use it for something that is so important to you, have you been able to embrace that? Yeah, totally. And so now, you know, when I'm doing things that are out of my comfort zone, I have to remind myself that, like, hey, in some way, somehow this can,

benefit the kids that we're trying to take care of, the orphans around the world and the families that are on the verge of losing each other, keeping families together. So we don't have the orphan crisis continuing to rise and rise. And so that makes it all worth it to me. Because if I'm like, if I have to get out of my comfort zone just to talk to some people on Instagram or to talk to people on a podcast or if he pulls me out on stage and more and more people start to follow me, those are more ears and eyes that can be listening and watching the world change because of their support. Yeah.

And just bringing awareness, just because you don't have to be supporting our cause, but you go do good in the world wherever you want to go do good. And I just, I want that to. be what we're about. Yeah. You know, I want us to, of course, have fun and have a world where our kids definitely have fun in his career and we get to travel and see beautiful places, but also our family and our fan base and our friends, like being aware and encouraged to do whatever it is the

Lord may have put on their heart to go and do good, whether they're going. that's here around the corner or, you know, with your own kids. I mean, sometimes moms truly, I have help. Like I had to like, you know, swallow my pride and go, hey, I'm not going to be able to do all this travel and do all of this nonprofit work and all the things that I'm doing without help. So we are able to hire help. But there are a lot of moms who don't have that luxury. Yeah.

And so their ministry truly may be. to watch their babies, teach their babies, love their babies, and teach them how to love and be good, good stewards of our world and of the people around us. So I just, I hope that all of this following and fame, if you will, turns into spreading just goodness and love, just for people to love each other and to try and help out where you can and not just use up the planet and then be gone one day. I love that.

Yeah. So you talk about calling, calling on your heart. How did you get this big calling? Like, what did it feel like? And was it something you couldn't ignore? Yeah, for sure. I mean, well, I mean, just like the vaguest story of me locking myself in the bathroom, it, it wrecked me.

I mean, it took my heart straight out of my chest. And I knew I was never getting it back. You had changed. You'd been changed. Yeah. Forever. Yeah. You could never be the same again.

No. And it was one. And he jumped on board with you. Yeah. And even before he had traveled with me, he was pumped. When I came home and kind of like spilled, even though I was in a pretty dark place when I came back, when I spilled all of this to him, he was pumped because he saw like this passion.

Because for years. You're such a great team. Y'all really are. I love that he supported your calling and your passion. Yeah, because I think he knew. Well, because I had gone to nursing school and am a licensed, a registered nurse. And I never worked in the hospital. I never got to work as a nurse.

And so I gave up my career to let his career take precedent over our family. and that that's not me letting a man rule my world that's letting the love of my life see his opportunity and wanting to support that because it was I love that you view it that way and you have to seize the moment yes and I wanted that for him and to be quite honest if I was working and he was doing his we could have done it but um there's no way our relationship would be where it is now if I had been home all of those years working because you would have missed all those moments together so much the bonding the experiences just that foundation of building that together when his career is starting yeah and so when it came my time so to speak he did the exact same thing was just

like I will do whatever it takes for you to live out your passion and to do what you feel like you're called to do. And so, yeah, it's just a lot of... What do the calling feel like? It was heavy, so heavy. I remember coming back from Haiti with Suzanne. And it was the first time that her and I had ever been together. The first time I met her was the meeting right before we left. And one of my really good friends is her nephew. And I love and trust him so much that when he told me, you've got to go with her, you've got to meet her, you've got to go on these trips. Like I just know this is what you're supposed to do. He told me that for years.

And when this trip came up, he was like, I really feel like this is a trip you need to go on. And I just all of a sudden said, yes, I don't even know why, but I did. And I went. And Suzanne and I basically became instant best friends. And on the trip home from Haiti, I remember trying to process a lot of. of what we had seen and been a part of and we did a medical clinic that time and um i was just processing so much and on the plane home i looked over at her and i said listen anytime you book a flight to go anywhere to serve book me one right next to you and she was like um are you sure

it's it's expensive it's um it's heavy it's exhausting but it's also the most life-giving thing that she was telling me that she'd ever been a part of. But it's hard. It's hard. And it does take you away from home, you know, quite a bit. And she was like, that's a pretty big commitment. Like, are you sure? And I was like, 100%.

I didn't even talk to Thomas Red about it. It was just like, it was so clear to me that that's where the Lord had me. And I was just like, all right, I hear you. Like, I want to go. I want to go and do. If that's why we're here, then I want to do whatever it takes to accomplish this work on earth. And so I think when he saw that passion in me, even though I was heartbroken for the people of Haiti, I think he saw the love and like the fire inside of me.

And I'm sure for a few years where I felt like I was just kind of on his tour following him around. it was something that he hadn't seen in me in a long time. And I think once he saw that fire, he was like, we are not letting this fire go out. Like, you've got to go and do. I love that. Oh, my God. I love that he loves your fire too.

Like, the fact that you guys are such a strong, supportive marriage, that's why people love y'all. Truly, because of all the great things you're doing. But also, it's so hopeful for people to see a marriage of two people who really love each other. We do. We love each other. We love each other so, so much. But we also fight just like everybody else does.

But that's okay, because if you didn't, that would be weird. That's right. That's right. Yeah, I think, I do think a lot of people have an unhealthy view of our marriage, though. I think there are a lot of people who think it's perfect. Like, what do you, tell me Instagram versus reality of girls' marriage. Yeah, so I try and keep it as real as possible on Instagram, but I'm also not going to just post like depressing things because who who wants to see that um but if you talk to me and want to ask me

the questions i'll answer them honestly um but yeah instagram is is we are a happy family that is truth we we do love each other and we love hard but we also fight hard what are the hard parts um i just i think it's when we're all exhausted and he's got to go do one more thing and our calendars didn't sync up. He didn't check that I had this going and I didn't check that he had that going and we're missing each other and that it drives me nuts when we're not synced on our calendars because then it's our kids that are hurting because one or both of us are gone and we're like scrambling to get Mack over here when she was supposed to be off or we're just our life is so chaotic right now that it's hard to stay on top of it um but that's

probably the most common thing that happens is that we're so busy we miss each other a lot and when you start missing each other and not spending quality time the little things that do drive y'all nuts about each other man they come in full force and like if he's leaving his clothes on the ground and and like the kitchens are wreck and the kids are crying saying daddy and and he's on the phone that morning or whatever or like if I'm getting on to him for not being a clean, organized person, which is not who he is naturally. I'm getting on to him for him being just who he is and nitpicking everything and my patience is so thin and the fights just can start in the blink of an eye and I don't even

know how we got there. And then you're just pissed. And we're just on each other. Like, oh, well, if you hadn't done this, then this wouldn't happen. He's like, oh, okay. Well, if I hadn't done that, then you, you know, it's just, it just gets out of hand so quickly. And gosh, I mean, it's just like every family, every relationship. I mean, you just.

That's what they say, halt. Hungry, angry, lonely, tired. Do not proceed forward. If you are any of those things, halt. Yes. Because it can get ugly fast. And that's not something. that I want my kids to see.

Right. And, but we're so all on top of each other all the time that whatever happens, everybody knows about it and sees it. So it's, which is, I mean, it's good.

It's, they're seeing reality. Yeah. But, yeah, it's just, it's reality. But at the end of the day,

I may not like him all the time, but I do love him all the time. Yes. I don't have to like him all the time. It's impossible to like someone all the time. Especially someone that you do every single thing with your life with. Yeah. For sure.

for sure because that's the thing with marriage like marriage is so great and I love being married but sometimes like you are with this person at all times they are basically you you are them and you're not always going to feel the same way about everything totally think the same way yeah like things aren't going to be lined up right but you're still like okay yeah i have to like listen to you and deal with you yeah yeah right we got to figure it out somehow because we're stuck together um but yeah we have moments like that just like everybody else does it just i'm probably not going to like post our or lobstream our fighting you're not going to put like a picture of thomas russ laundry on the floor to like screw you honey oh my gosh can you imagine if i like brought all of our fights to instagram

that would be something else so what was it like when you were adopting willa gray because you had fallen in love with willa gray even before thomas rep met her so what was that like bringing her home and knowing that you this was your daughter you had to bring her home thinking you probably weren't going to maybe be able to get pregnant or something because y'all had been trying we've been trying for a little bit yeah and so you were thinking okay this is this is how i'm going to be a mom yeah and at least right then i wasn't i didn't i hadn't like written off ever getting pregnant but um we had tried for a little bit so so that i think that's what prepped my heart to be ready for a baby for a baby because we were already like actively trying for a baby and so when she came into my life

you're like this is my baby yeah it made it a little bit easier to pursue that because I knew we were trying for one anyway what was it about Willow Gray um she was just one of two babies at the children's home that we were supporting at the time and um she's the one that just kind of attached to me that week. And her story is a little bit different than some of the kids in children's homes and around the world. And a lot of kids have her story. But her story is that nobody knows any blood biological relative of hers. We don't know. She's a true orphan. We do not know anything. How does she get to the orphanage? Um, they, when she was brought in, she was like two weeks old.

Um, but there was a lady. There's a little bit of backstory there. Um, and some of that is pretty sensitive to her story. So I'll leave some of the details out. But it ended up a lady who was not related to her. Um, didn't, didn't even know who she was. She brought Willa Gray to the police. station and the police station brought her to the children's home in that area to take care of her.

And, you know, there had been broadcast of, you know, a child found. Uh-huh. And kind of given details of that and nobody ever came forward. And, you know, they did an investigation, but nothing was ever, they never found anything or anybody. And so I think in my heart, a lot of the kids there, and not that. not that I don't want a loving home for every single child in a children's home. I do.

But I think more than anything, that's what we try and do at Lov One, is keeping families together. So if a child has a living relative that's healthy with their mind and they're able to love that child, the goal is to get them back with their families and then figure out how we can help keep families together. I love that. But for the most part, a lot of those families split up because they're just, they're poor

and they're not able to care for children. So they end up having to send them away to children's homes to be cared for because they're not able to do it on their own. But then you've got stories like Willa Gray of children who truly don't have someone to care for them, even if they were able. And I think knowing that about her,

and holding her that day that I took a picture of her and I. And I think I actually posted it on Instagram. And that's how Thomas Rett saw her for the first time. Oh my gosh. Lauren, it's just so much love. But it's like such heavy things filled with so much love. Yeah. We FaceTime that night at our hotel and he was like,

who is the baby in your picture? And I was like, oh, funny, you should ask because she needs a home. Like, I know this is not her future. Like, this children's home is not, is not her future. This is not where she's going to be. And I told him, I said, we know so many people back home that are looking to adopt and are open to it and just wanting a baby. and this is something that their hearts are called to do and they want to give a child a home.

Like, we just need to tell everybody that we know about this baby. This just cannot be her life. And without even hesitating, he was like, we'll do it. Now we're just like, what? I'm all pregnant and emotional. Like, the tears have been bound to be coming. Oh, my gosh, Warren. I know.

Like, I can't even handle that right now. I know. Sweet little baby. What did you do? I think for a second, I remember talking to Suzanne later. Gung ho, do this. I was kind of like, I'm sorry, come again. Is this Thomas Shrette that I'm Face-Tying with?

Because we talked about adopting early on in our marriage. My mom's adopted. And so I am a product of a very healthy adopted family. And your mom's like your bestie. She's the coolest. Yeah. She really is. You're really like closer to your whole family.

Yeah, we're all very, very close to the point where some people are like, is that normal? Yeah. Should you get help? It's the dream. We love it though. Yeah. We love it. So we talked about it, but I just didn't think it was something that he was going to like definitely jump on board with.

I thought for sure if we were going to get pregnant, I thought that needed to happen first to like really get him ready for an adopted baby. because that process, you know, the labor and delivery and the pregnancy, most of that is on the mom. Yeah. When you're in adoption, it's a lot of work on both of you. It's a lot of, it's stressful. Yes, it took about 13 months for us, which actually is pretty short compared to some stories. Why does it take so long? Just the legal, all the legal tape.

There's so much. lot of it is to protect the child to make sure that it's the right thing and the family is not doing it for the wrong reasons and at least with Uganda the judge that we had said that you know his his only role in this scenario was to look out for her and make sure that she was where she's supposed to be and taken care of and so a lot of that is a lot of that is what take so much time and then things tend to move a little bit slower in Uganda I think and so that that took a lot of time and um it was just a lot it's just a lot I'm sure emotional process but once we got through that um then you have to go to the U.S. side of things and you have to go through all of

that legal oh gosh a whole other round yeah so it just to takes a little while. And then once you get through all of that legal stuff, then you've got to get, you know, your appointment with the U.S. Embassy just to get her visa. And sometimes that visa approval is hard to get. And so I was stuck over there thinking like, oh my gosh, am I even going to get to bring her home? Because I was pregnant. And so when did you find out you were pregnant in the midst of all this so when we went over around christmas in 2016 i really felt like god had told me i was coming home with the baby and i was like no she's coming home and people are like no way yeah coming home yeah i was like no no i've already i've i've talked to god and he's he's bringing a baby home with

us it just a knowing it was it was me praying and praying and praying and praying for willie and and I just had this piece like don't worry don't worry you're gonna you are gonna come home with your baby I was like okay she's coming home it's coming home for Christmas and so um we got home I think on the 23rd or 22nd of December without her without her so you were upset was so upset but two weeks before we were we'd come home we were over there, obviously. And I found out I was pregnant. What did you do?

I was like, oh my gosh. So you then knew you were about to have two little kids. Yeah. And then flying home, it like hit me that I was coming home with a baby. Holy cow. And I was like, all right. I see you, God. I see what you're doing.

How did you process that? Well, it was panic. It was panic initially because I was like, holy crap how are you going to do this yeah um well and then just of course like the physical hurdles of being pregnant and being there my doctor is however many thousands miles away yeah um and you know hoping all goes well but medical care there isn't isn't like the medical care that i'm used to here i mean first world problems but i'm like, okay, but I do have access to really good medical care for this baby. So, like,

how do you choose to go home for one baby or stay for another? Oh, gosh. So it was a lot of back and forth. And finally, I just told my doctor, like, listen, I'm staying over there until the last possible second. Like, you're just going to, you're going to have to make me come home. And we were so close to bringing Willa Gray home that I was holding out and holding out and holding out. And my dad actually ended up, so Tom Streat wasn't with me. He was touring. And so my mom came over with me for the last part of the adoption and when I had to go back my doctor was like listen you've got to come back over here we've got to check on you and baby and so my dad got all of his shots and got you know ready to prep to come to Uganda and my dad flew over and he stayed a night

and then the next day I flew out to him and my mom um let's see I came home like on the third of May and Willa Gray came home the 11th. So my mom and dad stayed there a week and a half, and then they were the ones who brought her home. I was so upset that I didn't, that I'd like, I wanted to be the one to bring my baby home. It broke me. But coming home, I look back now and realize, like,

that was like the Lord's way of, like, letting me settle down, letting me have, like, a few days. at home with my dogs. I know that sounds stupid, but like, I love my dogs. And I was already anxious about bringing babies into the home with them because I knew

the attention was not going to be on them anymore. Yeah. So it was so nice getting to be home with Thomas Stratt, getting to be home with my dogs. You all have some quiet time. Yeah. I kind of got to get the house a little bit ready. We got to process through some things. I got to get through my jet lag. Yeah. I mean, can you imagine

having a new baby and then being jet lagged? It's a moment of just some downtime. Yeah. And so I realized that I really needed that. I needed it. And I had one more night with all my girlfriends. We all went out for Cinco de Mayo and got, well, I had a virgin margarita, but we all went to bar taco and got tacos and margaritas. And it was good. It was good. And then when she was able to come home, I was ready. I was ready. Her room was ready. Her room was ready. April, Tomlin, got her room ready for me. Yeah. Without, I wasn't even here. And April just transformed my house while I was in Africa. Also another angel dropped into my life. She's amazing. But yeah, I just, I was ready for her then.

And it ended up being okay. It was okay that I didn't bring her home on the plane. And it was the best thing for her and I. So it, it worked out. But then, yeah, three months to the day that Willa Gray came home, I was induced with... Ada James. So now what is life like? You're adjusting to already having, because Willa Gray is how old when she's home? Oh, she came home in 18 months. Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay. So she's toddling. She's walking around. And so you're adjusting to life with her. And now you have a newborn. Just how I need to know what those first few months looked like. They're a blur. But the good thing about our crazy family being so close to us is that They were here doing so much for me and for the babies and for Thomas Rett.

And it was all just fine. It was fun. It was really fun. It was exhausting. What was the most fun? But I was just like so much adrenaline, like seeing Willa Gray being able to hold her sister. Did they love each other right away? Oh my gosh.

Willa Gray is such a mother already. She is? Yeah. And she just, so sweet. I mean, it was just, she was obsessed with her the second she saw her. Was it her baby? Yes. I mean, she still is.

She still wants to wash her hair in the bath and go get water out of the fridge or get the milk cup ready and give her the milk. Or she wants to feed her her food. And Ada James is 20 months old. It's not like, you know, she can do a lot of that on her own. But Willigray wants to do everything for her. And she wants to, whenever she gets a toy, she wants another one for Ada James. She's a sweetheart. She loves her and she's always, they're always asking about each other.

The second one of them wakes up, they're asking about the other one. If the other one's not awake yet. Does that just fill your heart? It's so sweet. They're just, they're the best friends and, oh, it's so sweet. Can you believe this is how your life turned out? No. Could you?

Way better than I ever could have dreamed. I mean, because it's, and that, I feel like goes to show. Yeah. Why try to make some stiff plan? Right. Because if you. It's not worth it. If you would have had your life organized it,

you were going to follow along. You would have missed all of this. It feels like maybe a chaos at times, but has turned into the most beautiful, wild, loving existence. And the human mind could not have come up with that dream. How do you just, do you think this is God? Oh, 100%. I mean, there's no way, nobody in the right mind would have said to do all of those things, you know, I mean, you just, you couldn't even dreamed them up. No, no. Well, and so much of it was hardship, going through that hardship to get to the rainbow on the other side. Do you think hardship is important? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Because then you appreciate where you are and you don't take it for granted. And then it, you know, hard work pays off. And you really, it's good. It's good for you to struggle a little bit and feel like you don't know what you're going to do. Because in reality, we're not all in control. We think we are. But so many of us freak out when we get to that struggle.

And we're like, oh my gosh. what's next like I'm lost yeah so what is what is your take on that um how what do you what's your advice for people in that for me for me it's truly just leaning on the Lord and being like hey have you learned to embrace the struggle oh yeah I just I just expect it now it's just it's coming but we're going to get out the other side like we always do and he's always going to make away he may close a door but he'll open a window and through the whole process I just had did like my mantra was the Lord is not going to bring me here to leave me. I love that.

I almost got that tattooed on my hand. Really? Like the Lord didn't bring me this far to leave me. Right. Like you can't have come this far to get dropped off in the middle of the desert to die. So I think clinging to that knowing that like I wasn't able to see the way out but trusting that he knew the way out and he had already made it, I just had to wait for it. How do you know when you're on God's path and not your path?

Like how do you know when it's. when you're on the path that God's going to lead you out of instead of your own desires. What's the feeling? Well, a lot of it is very selfless. I mean, if you start doing the things that you, that feel like selfish desires, and I don't mean like a mom needing a break from her kids and like going to get a massage, like those things are needed. Like you need to take time for yourself. Self care is important.

Right. But I mean like doing, like living for. yourself, I feel like for me, that's when I start to veer and not go where I feel like he's calling me to go. But when I'm serving and when I'm serving either in Africa or Haiti or my family or my friends, that's when I feel like I'm surrounded by people who are pushing me the direction he's wanting me to go. And I've got people speaking truth into my life and encouraging me to do things and opportunities just pop up and um and a couple of times the lord has audibly you know spoken to me heard through other people and and i um that's not something i was comfortable

with growing up the gift of prophecy yeah but um i've i've had it happen to me a couple of times now and um it's a little freaky at first but um he's given that some people that gift and when he's speaking directly to me um and i know it's him because he proves it he proves it through the speaking i mean i remember the first time he did he um called out things about me and thomas ret in our conversation earlier that day that no one could have known no one could have known yeah um and just the things that the piece that comes with that work and the clear directions he's given me when he's spoken to me and seeing the fruit of that and going through it and listening listening to those directions and seeing on the other side

what happened because of it is proof that like having that faith and trusting that if you feel like he's calling you to do something or you know, spirits putting something on your heart and you listen to it, you know. Yeah. Like you just know. and and then you may be going through a lot of hard times but you're not alone and you know you're not alone and it's important to have people around you that can support you and that and have that same belief and encourage you because there were definitely times the adoption that I was not standing

on my own I wasn't I wasn't even standing I had people literally every day lifting me up I mean I was I was so, I was angry. I was angry at Thomas Stratt. I was angry at his career for him not being with me through that. I was angry at the Ugandan government for not moving faster. I was angry at, I was angry that I was pregnant. I was angry that I was throwing up in a bathroom with no air conditioning and so sick. And angry that it wasn't your plan.

Yes, I was just angry. And so the thought of praying about it made me want to hurt somebody. I was like, no. Like I'm not in a prayerful mood. I can't, I can't, I can't get there. And so that's when I started these group texts and sending these texts out to my family and my close girlfriends. And they all were covering me in prayer and covering the whole situation in prayer. And they were praying for the windows to open when the doors would shut.

And they were praying for my peace. They were praying for my sanity. They were praying for both of my babies. they were praying for my marriage they were praying gosh this is so beautiful I mean how amazing it was but how amazing that that's you knew that's what you needed and that's what you

sought for even though you weren't there and yourself yeah you're like I know this is the way to get to where I need to be and then you probably felt the showering of love oh yeah and then it carried carried a straight through I mean we just then she came home you know like it it all worked out but I would be lying if I told you I wasn't miserable yeah miserable at times and like

in some of the deepest darkest valleys I've ever been in my life yeah what did you learn there um I learned that no marriage is perfect and that every marriage is able to fail every one of them Like you have got to communicate and you've got to want to work at it or it will fail. Yeah. And so after I came home from Africa, we started doing serious counseling together. And what had, tell me why you love that so much because you. Well, because it would, it, you've got a third person that's not in your relationship. That's not taking sides.

And they're breaking down not only like how to see each other. in different views or put yourself in their situation, but also breaking down like why you're feeling the way that you're feeling, why you react the way you react and why when he says this to me, it triggers this and why when I say that to him, it triggers that and him and how that's breaking each other down. And I mean, we just learned so much about each other, so much about ourselves,

so much about marriage and so much about sacrificing what it takes. Probably take you out to another level. It did. But you also were willing to do the work. Right. That's what you're saying. Because if you don't. We don't want it to fail.

If you get to that point where you're just, the list is all you see. Right. Your short list is all you see of the bad things. Yeah. And then you get hung off on that. It will fail. Yeah. But you guys, but you want.

Yeah, you did the work. Yeah, you got to do the work. And then once you do the work, it's like the heavens open up. That's right. And you're on this whole new level. I do like you. And then you have such a new depth with this person. For sure.

For sure. And yeah. I mean, there was a lot of darkness. that came out of that adoption journey, but then so much beauty because of the darkness. To get it out. Yes. Because there's no way we would be this strong if we hadn't gone through that.

Good for y'all for going to therapy and doing that. Truly. It's one of our favorite things to do. And he loves it now too? He loves it. Wow. He probably loves it more than I do. That's amazing.

He loves to talk about his feelings and emotions. I'm not so much. So I think it came more natural to him. But it is a very good thing. I encourage everybody to do that in some form or fashion. I totally agree. What do you think the point of this life is? I think to love each other well.

I think to love, just to love well. I mean, to love the earth well, to love each other well, to take care of what we've been given and, you know, get ready for eternity. Why do you think so many people are unhappy? Um, happiness isn't always a given. Why do you think so many people are upset with, maybe not happiness, but like... The way their life has turned out? Yes.

I mean, I'm sure every story's so, so different, but I wonder how many of those people that are so unhappy. I wonder how many of them are serving with a lot of their life. I feel like the most life-giving thing I can do is to take care of. care of somebody else to love somebody else so much that I'm serving them, whether that's your neighbor or your kids like I was talking about earlier or traveling Africa, Haiti, I don't know, anywhere. I mean, just a state over anywhere in, I mean, there's so much need in the U.S. I just, I think when you feel like you're doing your part and you're doing your best to

steward this life well and what you've been given, the people who've been given to you in your life and the world we've been given, it's going to be hard. There are going to be moments where it's just, it just sucks and it's not fun. But I think as long as you're holding on to that feeling of knowing that like we live in a fallen world, so it's just going to suck a lot of the time. But There is a lot of beauty in it. There's a lot of beauty in humans. And I think when you find that and hold on to it and really commit to loving and encouraging each other, even when that person may not seem like they deserve it, you end up loving and

encouraging yourself too. And that does a lot for a soul. Yeah. You know? Yes. And I think that can bring a lot of peace. And I'm not trying to make light of... Oh, no, there are some situations that just go on and on and on and are very, very dark and hard.

And I don't want to, you know, ignore that. But, oh, man, we do. We live in a fallen but a beautiful world at the same time. You just got to find it. And hopefully you have people around you that encourage you. And if you don't, maybe that's part of your problem, is you don't have the people, the community around you to push you that right direction. and to love you back. That's so profound.

Yeah. You got to have people loving you back. You do. You do. You have to deal loved. You're drained. Yeah. If you don't have somebody loving you back, loving you well,

yeah. That's your first assignment. I mean, God loves you well no matter what, but you need that community on earth, like loving you well. Okay, I would talk to you forever, but obviously, oh my gosh, we've got to wrap up. Okay. Tell me.

Leave your light. I end with every interview with leave your light. Obviously, you're just like a prophet to me. Like you are speaking, you are so good at following your soul's calling and following the Lord's path for you. But leave your light. Like out of everything you've gone through,

your life journey, what is something you want to share with people who maybe aren't as confident in their spirituality or their journey or like feel lost? Or what is just something that you want people to know? I think probably what I've learned more than anything is that I'm not capable of doing anything that people look at my life and go, oh my gosh, you did this.

Like I am not capable. Nobody is capable. Nobody gets where they're going on their own. And I just think know your heart, know your heart, know your passion. and know that the Lord has like an incredible plan for your life, no matter who you are. But trusting in that and knowing that you, the weight is not all on you.

And when you're on those mountaintops, not crediting it to yourself. You know, I think that's where you kind of find your groove in the world and really start moving mountains and seeing, hearts and lives transformed and then you have this peace and this passion that you're living out and it's really cool it's cool and it's fun and it's life-giving and it's fulfilling it's I think that's what everybody wants is a fulfilling life giving life yeah and everybody can

have it but it's not something you're going to do on your own you don't have to who wants to do anything on their own. Not me. You don't. Nobody really does. But, um, yeah. Amazing. Tell me the name website to go to. Love on. Oh, for Love One. Yeah. Um, so Love One international.org. Okay. And that's where that's where your heart is. That's where my heart is. You're the best. Thank you so much for talking to me. I didn't even realize this is an hour and a half. It was so incredible. Oh, my gosh. You're amazing. Oops. Well, we can talk. You're the best. Love you. Love you too, girl. All right. If you have ever dealt with a traditional home security company, you know the drill. Expensive monthly fees, contracts that lock you in for years, and waiting around for a technician to set everything up.

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