The Bobby Bones Show - BONUS: Velvet's Edge: The Consequences of TV Cheating with Caroline Bryan

Episode Date: December 26, 2019

Kelly sits down with Caroline Bryan, wife of country music superstar Luke Bryan. Caroline spills the details on how she and Luke met and what her first impression was (which may be different than what you think). She also gets real about the anxiety she has faced after losing several family members and how starting a charity, The Brett Boyer Foundation, has helped her grieve and heal from those loses. She also gives her top marriage advice and the one thing she and Luke do monthly to keep their relationship healthy and alive.  Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. Make every day feel epic in the all-new Hyundai Palisade hybrid. The Palisade hybrid is packed full of features, cutting-edge tech, and up to an EPA estimated 619 miles of range on select trims and class-leading interior space. Seating configurations for 7-8 passengers,

available H-track all-wheel drive, so you can be ready to go anywhere in style. Learn more about the Hyundai Palisade at HyundaiUSA.com. Call 562-314-4.4.4. 4603 for complete details. All right, if you have ever dealt with a traditional home security company, you know the drill. Expensive monthly fees, contracts that lock you in for years, and waiting around for a technician to set everything up. It's a lot.

Well, now they're Simply Safe. They have completely changed the game. Simply Safe has no long-term contracts, no hidden fees, no being trapped. They earn your business by actually keeping you safe, not by locking you in. Setting up is so easy. You customize your system at SimplySafe.com. It ships to your door in a few days. And with the app guided setup, you can have everything installed and armed in under an hour. No technician needed. And it's not just a camera. It's a full ecosystem of sensors, cameras for inside and outside and 24-7 professional monitoring. If there's ever a break-in, a fire, or a flood, SimpleSaf's agents are on it immediately. They were also named America's best customer service by news week, which honestly tracks. Right now, you can get 50% off your new system by visiting simplysafe.com slash bones.

That's half off at simplysafe.com slash bones. There's no safe like SimplySafe. You're listening to a podcast, so you're doing something else too. Like maybe scrolling home listings on Redfin, saving places you like without thinking you'll get them, because that's what house hunting has become. But Redfin isn't built for endless browsing. It's built to help you find. and own a home. Redfin agents close twice as many deals as other agents, which means when you

find a place you love, you got a real shot of getting it. Redfin helps turn saved listings into real addresses. Get started at redfin.com. Own the dream. Service opens doors, and at American Military University, it can open doors for the whole family. If you have a loved one who served in the military, you may qualify for reduced tuition. AMU offers flexible online programs designed to fit your schedule so you can keep moving forward wherever life takes you. Learn more at AMU. APUS. Dot APUS.

Dot E-D-U-S-Military. Open doors to the future for you and your family with the help of American Military University. That's AMU. com. That's AMU. Hey, this is Kelly Henderson. Thanks for checking out the Bobby Bone Show podcast. I wanted to share an episode with you of my podcast called Velvet's Edge with Kelly Henderson.

Velvet's Edge is a podcast that explores inner and outer beauty and is based on my lifestyle website, velvet's edge.com. I also love exploring these topics with some of my friends in the music industry, which are relationships that I've made over the past 15 years of being a hair, makeup artist, and stylist here in Nashville. I recently interviewed Caroline Brian, the wife of Luke Brian. Caroline spilled the details of how she and Luke met and what her first impression was, which may be different than what you think. She also gives her top marriage advice and the one thing that she and Luke do monthly to keep their relationship healthy and alive. One of my favorite parts of this podcast was that Caroline gets real about the anxiety she has faced after losing several family members and how starting a charity at the Brett Boyer Foundation has helped her grieve and heal from the losses.

If you like this episode, I would love for you to come check out more episodes. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts. listen on IHeart Radio or wherever you listen to your podcast. Here's my episode of Velvet's Edge with Kelly Henderson with Caroline Bryan. Okay. So obviously I have to talk with you about how you and Luke met. Okay. I mean, I love a story about people who have known each other since, was it college?

College. I was 18. Oh, my God. We met, surprisingly, we met in a bar. I'm sure everyone shocked. It was my first night out in college on a Thursday night. Yeah. I went to a bar with, you know, typical friends.

And a friend of mine who's still a friend of ours today, he's actually our neighbor, he walked up and said, you know, hey, I'm John Davis. He goes, I want you to meet a friend of mine. And he pointed across the bar. And all I saw was this guy with these big teeth, smiling and waving. He looked like the biggest goober. But it was Luke. And we met and we talked briefly.

And then we just kind of hung out and were friends. Yeah. Friends. I say that with air quotations for about a month. And then we started dating. So pretty quick. Very quick. I love that I read some article where you were like,

I didn't know what to think about him because, you know, he has that larger than life personality. So he's always been that way. I'd never met a person like him. Like tell people like. about what that means. Would just say anything and he has this big laugh and which I, I love goofy guys. I love goofy guys.

I just think they're adorable. And he would just say anything. And I was thinking, what, what is this person? I didn't know if he was drunk, but that's how he acted when he was sober. And I just thought it was just, and he was so sweet. Yeah. He's the nicest person. And I just thought he was adorable, but I never thought we would date.

And then we kissed. And it was like, rest was over. You know how you see sparks fly. If you kiss a person, sometimes you just, and I knew after we kissed that we were going to date. Like the chemistry was there. It was. It is hard before. You always wonder if someone you can be friends with.

You're like, oh, would it be there? What would happen? So you knew immediately. Yes. But you guys, y'all dated for, what, a year? and then broke up? A year and a half on and off. And then he was graduating college. I had another two and a half years in college. And Luke was the second guy I had ever kissed. Like in your life? In my life. Okay. Ever. I had a high school sweetheart from the time I was 13 until I went to college and we agreed to see other people.

And I just, I had no, I just didn't know anything else. And Luke was talking about marriage and I just was not ready. I kind of freaked out. And so we broke up and we always stayed in touch on the sly. And he and my brother were always great friends. So we always stayed in touch. But we did date other people and it was the best thing. We were apart for almost five years. Why do you say it was the best thing?

Because I would have never known anything else other than Luke if we'd have stayed together. I went on all kinds of first dates, which I hate dating. if Luke leaves me tomorrow, I don't know if I'll ever date again. I hate dating is the worst. Yeah. At tons of dates, you know, and I had two other boyfriends, but I just, I just, I would have never known that if we hadn't have broken up. Right.

You probably wouldn't have been able to appreciate it in the same way. Not at all. So when you guys, or how did y'all reconnect? Or you guys you always didn't touch, you said? Kind of, we always, we would email. back and forth or I would see him at shows because he would still come to my college town when I was still there and he would play shows and we would speak briefly, nothing crazy, but one day I was working out of the blue, I sent him an email once when he got his deal

with Capitol Records and I was working in New Orleans and I sent him an email just saying congrats and I'm so happy for you. and that's all that's all i meant for it because i was in new orleans well two months later i'm working in connecticut out of the blue i traveled a lot and he called me and it was around christmas and i just he just called me out of the blue and we talked for about 20 minutes and then we started texting this is like right when texting started yeah so it was like you had to do the on the remember on the numbers it was like you had to tie you had to tie you Hit it three times to get to a seat.

And it took 12 minutes to do one text. But we started, I was like, I would text him during a meeting for work. And then I invited him to my family's Christmas in Atlanta. And he came and we've, we've been together ever since. Had he met your family before? Oh, yeah. Oh, okay, okay. My family loved him.

Yeah. So when I'd said, Mom, Dad, I'm going to bring Luke to family Christmas. Is that okay? even my dad was like thank god oh he wanted y'all together they always loved Luke yeah loved him and my brother and my sister like everybody just loved Luke so they were like of course sure but they were terrified because of how things you know we were together and then we broke up but but they knew when they saw him at family Christmas that it was it like my dad just knew yeah I mean so was he always doing music like what was that

did you know oh my gosh this guy's going to be a star or do you think this was like a little side gig well in college it was a side gig but i always knew that if he pursued it he could do it yeah i mean he's he's very talented but his personality he's just so good with people i mean that's one of his greatest gift is luke can just he's so funny he can talk to anybody he can own a room and not even mean to you know i'm more of like i'll stand in the back and you know yeah but um I never, I never dreamed it would be on this level, but I knew that if, if he pursued it, he could do it. But I don't think he ever even thought that it would be on this level at all. Yeah.

But, I mean, somehow what happened? But that, so that wasn't immediate, though. So, like, I think, because I think when people think about the wives of huge country music superstars, they're like, they have it made. Oh, God. But, like, you went through it with him, right? Like, I read that you were. working. Did you do pharmaceuticals? I was a drug rap for a long time. So and he was just trying to pursue music, maybe not making that much or he was making. I think his salary was $15,000 a year.

Oh my God. So not enough to live on. I had a great job. So I did that and you know, that's so that's how we made it. And our first house was 843 square feet. Oh my God. But those were our best days. Really? We had so much fun. But because back then there's no kids. There's no, so but we had a blast but it takes a long time so it does not happen overnight no whatsoever what do you think the hardest thing now being married to someone in such a demanding huge position what's the hardest thing now about that well still the the hardest thing still is him being gone yeah he's being pulled in so many directions and like he got home this morning he had a show last night somewhere i forgot. He got home at 6 a.m. but had to fly to New York immediately for a meeting. So he'll be home

tonight, probably around seven. And then he has to leave again Wednesday. Right. And I'm staying in town because our kids have sports and, you know, practice. So I can't, it's just too hard to, so it's still the hardest thing is him being gone. The travel schedule. Yeah. How do you guys, so how do you balance that? Like, what does your day to day look like? I mean, are you just, home running shit basically. Yes. Yes. It's running shit. Yeah, it's a shit show. But like, okay, so for example, this morning, my Luke was gone. My 11 year old had to be at school by 640 because he went on a class trip. Right. So I had to get the two small boys up at like 5.30, get them ready and fed and out the door. And then our oldest Till as a senior in high school. So I came home and hugged him by and he

went to school. So it's just, you know, and then I'll leave here. I have an errand to run. And then I'll go pick everybody up at school. Yeah. And then go do homework and all that crap, which homework I hate. Yeah. Especially math.

Math can suck it. I can't imagine. I see some of my friends trying to help their kids with math homework. And I was terrible. I myself and terrible at math. But it seems like everything's gotten so much harder, too. Well, they teach it differently. like how we learned in high school in math that is not how my kids learn and so i have no idea

how to tell them what to do like you can't just like carry the one or no it's not like that anymore oh god and so i'll i will just start i have to walk away and i'll just start cussing yeah because i cannot help them because i don't know how they're being taught i would like i yeah my poor kids if i ever have any with math i'm gonna have to get a tutor or something because i there i think i would be like I don't know what to tell you because first of all you're probably never going to use this like geometry I use my cell phone for everything right that's what I mean no you don't even do you really need math I mean I hate math math math is my cryptonite yeah always has been same and I absolutely hate it I want to vomit every time I see it yeah my brain has never worked that way okay well so you guys have

been married for what 12 years now almost 13 okay so we need some relationship advice from you So how, I mean, obviously you said the traveling is a huge thing. How do you make it work? I honestly think, well, at the end of the day, both people have to want it. Okay. Both people, if one person is checked out, you're just done. It's not going to work. But you have to, but we're also really good about talking.

Like, you have to talk, talk, talk. If there's a problem, don't keep pushing it down. You better talk it out. Try to solve it. And we do, and I'll tell this about, we try to once a month go see a counselor. Oh, you do? Just to stay on top of it because, you know, some of the best advice I ever got was do not let small problems become a big problem because they can, it's like a snowball effect. Just go and sit down, talk it out, just stay on top of things.

And he and I haven't been to our counselor in a couple months because it's been so busy with summer. but we do try during the year to go at least once a month and just sit down. And if there's anything like we're worried for the kids, you know, with our family or with us, we'll just talk it out. So that has helped us. And I'm a, I do. I believe in that a lot. Me too.

I think everyone should be in therapy. Like even if you're going through something or not, it's just such a good way to either connect with your person, connect with yourself, just to talk things out. Just to be honest, too. I mean, nobody's always 100% of the time a badass. I don't care who you are. And just, I mean, you know, I just think it's good for everybody because there are things that Lucas said that I never knew would bother him or things that I would say.

And then you just get on top of it and it makes a difference. It is true, too, with couples. I know, like, the past experience I've had with couples therapy, having that third party who can hear both sides objectively because everyone just, speaks differently, communicates differently. And sometimes you can't, you're translating it off. Yeah. Yeah.

And men truly, I love all the men out there. Men don't know. They don't. Tell us more. Men don't know. I've been told so many times by so many people, you truly do have to tell a man what you want. And girls just want men to read their minds. Yeah.

Like, you should know this about me. I still think Luke should just know what I want because he's known me for my God, over 20 years. They don't. But if you just tell them, hey, if you'll just help me with this, it's done. Yeah. If you let men try to guess and then girls get mad, it's going to blow up in everybody's face. Good one. So I'm getting better at that at telling Luke how he can help me instead of just hoping that he'll know.

like figure it out because they won't figure it out what is that mostly is it like i need help around the house i need help with the kids or is it just like i need time like what do you what do you find yourself asking for the most um i'm still i'm still getting better at asking but luke has he he knows now that if he wants to make me super happy or if he wants to get lucky if he'll just straight if if he'll just straighten up the kitchen oh yeah or get the kids ready for bed, that that just does wonders, because it's a lot. And, you know, and he's figuring out, he's, he's a smart guy. He's like, okay, well, if I put the dishes in the dishwasher, game on. Then she's going to be in a really good mood when we get into bed. Yeah. So just small things.

I mean, I don't know anything big, but just small things like that. It's like the, also just the knowing that they thought about you or the consideration of, let me take this off your plate. It's like, oh my gosh, dreams come true. Yeah. That's amazing. That's just a little marriage advice. I don't know anything about dating. I don't know anything about what people who are dating want, but that does a lot for people

with kids and a household. Oh, I bet. I think, yeah, that's probably a good relationship tip in general. What else? What else do you guys do? We always try to, well, trying to have a date night's hard because our kids have something every night with with sports but we always do if he's home we always have a show that we're into oh yeah so we'll try to get everybody in bed yeah we'll try to watch something on TV and that's just

kind of like our time and yeah and that's fun because we're all and we both agree to never TV cheat oh besides cheating cheating but right like we can't if we're into a show together we like the other person cannot TV cheat and watch without the other that's a big thing the TV cheats especially because he's gone so much like what if you guys have what's the longest you've been apart the longest we've been apart years ago when he was doing his radio tour it was like two and a half weeks he was a long time he was on the west coast and yeah we couldn't afford to fly back and forth now the longest I mean it's been a week but that's that's as long as we'll go that's smart but that's also smart for TV cheating because no he

TV cheated once. Oh, wow. What happened? I threw the remote at him. As you should. I fully support that. Because he said self and I said, you watched this without me, didn't you? He said, it was just one episode and said, I got mad. He was just one time. He had to, well, he had to rewatch it with me. Oh, there you go. So do you, I've read somewhere that Keith Urban and Nicole Kim and their max is three days. Like, they will not go further. So you said a week is the longest you guys have gone. Do you find that if you spend more time apart than that, like the miscommunications start happening or what happens if the time goes by? I mean, you know what?

It can do two things. You can either kind of get mad or you can kind of feel like, okay, well, I feel like we haven't taught in a couple of days. Or you can really, like, really just miss each other and just crave the other person. And the only time that he and I have gone a week is if he's, he's, he's. he's had something and then I have to leave for something like he he and I went a week two weeks ago because he was gone for four days for show in the morning he was flying home I had to fly to L.A. to do something with my sister-in-law for our charity and then so I was gone for like two days so

when I got back it was it was pretty much a week but that that was something that's not typical yeah but we just really at the end of that just really miss it. missed each other. But. So then once you're back together, it was actually better. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

And then a day passes and he has to leave again. So, yeah. Bye. I love on your Instagram, which is Lena Brian three, right? How many Lena brian's are there? Okay. All right. Here's, it's, everybody says Lena.

It's Lina. Oh, that was my line. Yeah. That was a friend of mine in college started calling me Lina. Okay. That makes sense. Long story. And my nephew, and a few of my friends here in town, call me Lana.

Yeah. And when I opened Instagram, I don't know why I did it because I didn't know how to work it. I just typed in that because Caroline Bryan was already taken. Yeah. But I just typed in Lana because that was my nickname. So now it's Lana Brian, but it's three. And I was like, wait, there's more than one? Or it was like one and two taken?

I did three. No, I don't think anything was taken. I did three because of the three boys in the house for Bo Tate and Till. Oh, okay. I thought it was that you had to have a number. Yeah. It wasn't thought through. I just, I was like, okay, Caroline's taken.

I was like, I'll just do a lot of Brian three for Bo Tentill. Yeah. So that's it. Okay. Well, on your Instagram, you do a lot of pranks. Yes. Which we were talking about before. But that's kind of what you've become known for, right?

I guess it was accidental, but that's what our home life is actually like. And so I was just on the phone on the way over here talking about a few ideas I have for this coming up. I guess I call it Pranksmus, the 12 days of Pranksmus. So I have a few things coming up that we're going to start working on pretty soon. Well, let's talk about some of the old things because when I say pranks, I think people would be like, would she like jump out of a closet but like these are very thought out meticulous pranks and a lot of times Luke is obviously the object of yes you're praying he hates it it's pretty funny though but his reactions are my favorite well he does a lot of stuff to me that people don't see okay so this is just

this is like he'll bring a live snake in the house that's not right and if all snakes are demons I'm petrified of a snake I don't care if it's rubber it's If it's real, if it's dead, I am terrified. So I just decided, I don't even know why I did it. I had an air horn. And he was on the phone. And I just got him. And then it just turned into something.

But this year is going to be better. It's going to be more thought out because it wasn't, nothing was thought out last year. Really? It was thought out a little bit, but it was, I mean, I just did them pretty quickly. but the air horn's coming back because that's my all-time favorite. Oh my gosh.

He jumped so high. I almost bought one here. Oh, God. That would have been a rude awakening. What's your favorite prank you've done? What'd you say? Besides the air horn. I truly loved when we scared the hell

at a Luke's mom with the fireworks. Wait, where were they? So I call my nieces in Georgia. Yeah. And I said, hey, I have an idea. And they got the wrong fireworks, but it still turned out funny. I said, go to the store and buy some bottle rockets. They go, pow, pow, pow, pow.

Yeah. And just set them off behind Ma' Mall. That's what everybody calls her. And they're like, oh, okay, okay. So they had her sitting out at a store. And they went and bought like legit fireworks. And so they had a friend set them off and it's just scared the hell out of her and she jumped up and started cussing. And so that was probably my other favorite.

Oh, that and the hairdryer. Which one was it with the powder? With baby powder. That one to me, okay, describe that one because that was so funny. So I'm kind of evil. I just love to torture people. Not in a horrible way. But you put baby powder in the top of a hairdryer.

Yeah. And tell a friend, it's not working. It's not working. And when they turn it on, it just goes straight in their face. So they start looking at the tip. Yes. That was what happened to your friend, right? So they start looking in the tip, and then they turn it on, and it just shoots all in their face.

Oh, my God. Which is terrible, but it's really funny to watch. So if you guys want to check out, it's all of Caroline's pranks, go to why is that hard for me to say? I want to say Lena. Everybody says it. it's line of Brian three on Instagram there's a lot of videos up that are actually very very funny do you think that stuff like that like the fun goofy side of you and Luke is kind of another thing that helps make it work I feel like you guys are always laughing we do no we can also fight

because that's just normal but yeah do I think that's why people most of the people who follow my Instagram they're they're all moms yeah and I never I've never I rarely ever look good in Instagram post because I'm dealing with kids. It's like real life day to day. It's just you know sometimes it's hard to see a post of a mom is like I've had

the worst day and I'm like oh honey but you've spent an hour and a half on your hair makeup but so yeah we laugh a lot we don't take things too too seriously and we're just we're as normal

as it gets. We're sometimes we're so normal, we're boring that we kind of have to just try to have a little bit of fun and just prank each other. And my kids prank me now. Well, it's kind of payback. I've started something horrible. So, yeah, they put fake bugs in my bed and. Well, snakes, I assume. No, they don't do that. Oh, they know. That's a, mm-mm. Oh, wow. It's that bad. I can deal with bugs, but if, if don't, just don't throw a snake on me. Ever, ever. Ever. Okay, noted. So if you ever bring an air horn near me, I know how to get you. A snake is where of you. I'll have a slight heart attack.

Well, I did say you and Luke are both. To me, as a couple, every time I've ever been around you, y'all are laughing, just so kind, so just generous with everyone around you. Do you think that that has come a lot from the stuff that you guys have been through with just the loss in your family? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I've always said everybody better stay humble because life will humble you. Life humbles me every day. Yeah. And we will never be pretentious or snoddy or because we've been through, I mean, we've been through hell. Luke has lost his brother, his sister, our brother-in-law, and our niece.

And just when you think it can't get any worse, we're like, okay. and we both have anxiety now about who's next like what's going to happen so I do I and this is something a lot of people don't have a clue about I deal with horrible anxiety and I never had anxiety until we had losses in our family and and so I've had a couple of horrible panic attacks and that's just being totally honest because I'm always scared of what's going to happen next like I'm just like PTSD I'm sure Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I do have that from the loss of our, from our brother-in-law who passed away of a heart attack because I was there when it happened. And, but I've always said that, you know, I don't, it's not our job to understand why God does what he does, but it is our job to accept it. And just try to make something good out of something horrible. And it's really hard. I mean, There are days, trust me, where I don't, I just don't want to deal with anything. I just want to curl up in a ball, but I have to keep going, obviously, for the kids.

Right. But it's also okay to have a shitty day and not want to and just be sad. That's fine. But people who go through a lot, and I always say, you know what, I've been through a lot, but people have been through worse. Like, I can't imagine losing a child or. watching my child be sick in the hospital. And I've seen those parents. And it's so we just try to always stay on the bright side and just try to help a person

who's going through hell. And so that's my, that's my whole mission. I mean, I feel like that is always, it's always the families that I look at that I just have so much respect for and who are so kind to other people. And I'm like, how do they do it? Because I remember when Luke's brother-in-law died. Yeah. Thinking to myself, why this family?

why again you know because like you said his brother had passed away that's drink a beer is about his brother right um it it's kind of about his his brother and his sister and his sister because they had both passed when when they wrote that song yeah and then to have so the sister who the brother and law were talking about they had three kids three kids two boys and a girl and both so young Yeah, and just unexpected, out of the blue, no clue, just taken, just taken just so quickly. And we still don't understand any of it, but we're also very thankful that we're able to take care of them. Right. Did you?

We want to. Right. I mean, because you, I've read too, you guys said the three kids are now, did y'all adopt them? We did not adopt. So we're their guardians. So the oldest now, well, the girls are at the age where they're adults, so they don't have a legal guardian. We've been Tills guardians since he was 12. Yeah.

But we never, we never questioned it. I mean, it was an honor that they, you know, wanted us and our help. And the girl stayed in Georgia because the oldest was in college. In the middle, Chris, she was a junior in high school. Yeah. And she wanted to stay with our friends. Of course. So she stayed with our family, but we were always until moved in with us immediately.

But we were, we've always been in contact. Like they were just here. They flew home yesterday around lunch. So we see each other a lot. And you said y'all never even talked really about that. It was just kind of like, yeah, we're doing this. Yeah. Yeah.

No, there was no talking about it. It was just they, you know, they talked to us. And we were like, of course. And so that was it. So wouldn't you say you have anxiety or like, what do those days look like, the panic attacks and all of that? Well, I think anybody who has panic attacks, I don't know. I'm just speaking for myself.

I know like a full-blown panic attack. I've only had four major full-blown attacks in my life. And I know what my triggers are. Yeah. And so my last one was just, it was awful. So, and it was from, I was alone in the house. It's something about being alone. Okay.

And I was alone in the house. I was exhausted because I hadn't been sleeping because we, we had just lost a child at the hospital who we all loved. So I hadn't been, I hadn't been sleeping. It came out of nowhere. and I had to go to the ER, which no, it's not, it's not fun, but it's, that's a panic attack, like a, a real one. So now, and I'll admit it to anybody, I have emergency meds in case I feel one coming on. I can stop it.

Because anybody who's had a real panic attack, I would, I told Luke and he was like, oh my God, because I don't think Luke's ever had like a real panic attack. real one. I mean, he has some anxiety about, you know, death and everything, but I would rather give birth with the nomads ever than to ever have another full-blown panic attack. It's crippling. It's the worst thing ever. Yeah. Because you can't reason with anybody and it's just, it's the most helpless. It's the, it's the most awful feeling in the world. Yeah. So, and I do battle just keeping my anxiety under wraps because I'm just, I'm always scared. of is somebody I love about to die or am I about to die and leave these kids with nothing and

but I keep it under control most of the time right what do you do is there anything you do on a day to day to just keep the positive outlook well honestly I mean exercise is a big yeah that's a big thing it keeps me busy I mean it keeps me feeling good and trying to eat somewhat right I'm still a glutton for ice cream and french fries but and then just you know i i also have the i have the best friends in the world and they know everything about me and if i have a bad day they're there in an instant yeah so that's a big deal i can't imagine what that would be like i think it's like always waiting for that next shoot a drop kind of thing when you've been through back to back to back but you can't live like that i try to and i have great days where i'm like okay everything's

fine, quit worrying about something that's probably going to never happen. Right. But then there are those days where you're like, but what, and it's, it's the fear of feeling that pain. Yeah. That's what my anxiety is, is the fear of feeling the pain of another death. Mm-hmm. And because that pain is something nobody should ever, ever feel.

But that's where mine comes from is the fear of feeling that pain again. So we talked about the loss on Luke's side, but then there's also. on your family side, your brother and sister-in-law lost a child. Was that two years ago now? Well, she would be three. So she passed away when she was seven months. Well, let's talk a little bit about Brett. Tell me about Brett.

Brett, Sadie Brett Boyer, she was probably the greatest thing to happen to our family. My brother and sister-in-law, who were the best people in the world, truly, like, the smartest, the sweetest, the funniest. They tried for years to have a baby. It just did not happen. And we don't know why they went through all these tests. Everything was normal. It just didn't happen. So Ellen and Bo went through IVF and they got a little girl.

And when Ellen was probably, I guess, about 12 weeks pregnant, she called me just crying. I remember I was driving. Honestly, I'll be honest, I was parking at a liquor store to go by wine. I truly was. I was pulling into a store to go buy wine, and Ellen called, and she was just hysterically crying, and I knew something was wrong because I knew that they're going to have tests done, and she said that Brett had come back positive that she was going to have Down syndrome. And Ellen, this is what I love so much about her.

She never said, why us, why this? I don't want this baby. her first words were I can't I can't even she goes my heart is breaking over the thought of somebody making fun of her and that and that's what's so good about Ellen and I was like Ellen you know what and then my brother was so sweet he goes because he goes we're gonna we're gonna do this she's gonna be a badass and Brett is still a badass

and then once our family wrapped our head around it. We didn't care. We just wanted Brett here. Then we found out Brett had a heart condition, which is very common in Down syndrome kids. It was supposed to be an easy fix. Her surgery was supposed to be an easy fix. Something just with her little body, it just did not, her, the surgery just didn't take. And Brett fought and fault and fault. She truly did. And at around seven months, her little body just couldn't take it anymore. And they called us and told us to come in. That, you know, it would be soon.

And so our whole family was there. And Ellen Abbe got to hold her. And watching them hold Brett after she had passed was the single hardest thing I've ever seen. And then we decided to, you know, take what she taught us and what we learned in the hospital about CHD and about kids who have Down syndrome and just to kind of hopefully change the world.

And that's what we're trying to do. So she had congenital heart disease, which is one in 100 kids have that in the U.S. So it's common. Yes. It's way more common than anybody knows. But it's under research. Like it's so common that people don't talk about it.

Right. And there's just, And so we're trying to just put it out there. So our tagline is support and celebrate. So we want to support the families and research and then celebrate kids who have Down syndrome because they are these sweetest, most, I mean, just the best light. They're so much fun. And they're really intelligent.

They're very sassy. Really? I love everything about these kids because they're so great. So that's kind of like our thing. because not every kid that goes through what Brett has gone through. A lot of kids make it. They have the surgery and they're home in five days. Right.

And that happens every day. And Brett was just the exception, like our family's been exception to so many things. Right. When you say we, you're talking about the Brett Boyer Foundation, which is a charity that you and your sister-in-law, Ellen, started after Brett passed, right?

We did. So the other question I would say is, Does it come hand in hand a lot of times with Down syndrome or is that completely separate? It's about half of the kids, yes. It is. It is. So it's very common, but it's very fixable. I mean, every child is different, but the surgery that Brett had, so many kids are home in five days and they're thriving and they're fine.

And they're fine. We just, you know, God gave us this for a reason. And, you know, and Brett still is. we always knew that she would do something amazing to change the world and she's doing it. Yeah, she's still doing it. Do you find that the work you guys are doing with the foundation is healing you guys? Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's helping us.

It's helping Ellen and Bo, because they still grieved. Of course. They lost a child. Every day's different. So it's helping us to just watch what we're doing to help kids because we've seen kids that have been saved. from a few things that we've done to give money. And so that's all worth it. So you guys do a bunch of different activities,

which we'll talk about in a second, but what is the main thing that you've seen as a result of the money you've been able to raise? Like, what are they doing? Are they researching or? So they do research, but also immediate things, like whether it's buying an artificial heart to help a child before the child has a heart transplant.

Oh, okay. Because they need more of those. okay so if a child is on a list it could take up to a year i mean you just don't know which is a horrible thing because in order for a child to have a heart another child house has to die which is it's still something i have a hard time talking about but so if you buy an artificial heart that can help a child stay alive until they get a heart right so it's just stuff like that okay and then what are some of the activities because i actually i knew about the redbird games which I want to talk about too, but y'all do a lot.

There's a lot of different, like I was reading about there's something you do with the Preds or you're doing a hockey game. Yeah, it's the, I forgot what it's called, but it's like, um, Preds, um, Preds love. Preeds have a heart hockey. Yeah, Preds have a heart hockey night. So the Preds are going to help us with that, which they do so many awesome things. Like those guys, like I don't even know any of them. I mean, I've met Mike, you know, a few times, but I don't really know any of these guys,

but what they do, like I have so much respect for all those guys, like a lot of respect. Really? They truly do good and they aren't even forced to. They just do it. Oh, really? They just do it. And they'll go to the hospital and see all the kids. And, you know, I have a llama named after Pecca.

Peca. Because a kid at a hospital wanted to name him Pecca because he's his favorite player. Yeah. I love that. So there's that. There was a, I read about a meat lover's dinner at 4-Four kitchen. Best Buddies friendship walk. So is there a way that people can get involved if they?

There's tons of ways. You know, if you go to the site, which is www. at the brett boy your foundation.org. You can read, I keep dropping your pillows. That's okay. There's tons. The chairs of my office are not that comfortable. They're just really cute.

I like them. I mean, there are tons of ways to get involved. There's bike for Brett and there's just a ways to donate. then, you know, there's places to buy, you know, a t-shirt or all kinds of stuff. And Luke's Bar in town, I've got merch there that we just started. Oh, cool. I didn't realize that. And it's doing great.

So there's downtown Nashville. You can go to Luke's bar and get some Brett Boyer's Foundation merch. Yeah. I love the, so last year we did the Redbird games, which tell people what that is. So that is a day, that is a full day. It's a different type of, you know, most. of these charity things a girl has to get dressed up all day fancy and go to a dinner where the food is you know yeah so par and then so ours ours is an all day event you there's fishing there's

skeet shooting there's putting for purses there's archery there's all kinds of stuff there's golfing um like on a golf simulator and we raise money for the hospital wait you say raise money tell people how much money I'll raise last year. Last year, we raised over two million dollars. I mean, and that was our first year. Yes. It was an insane event. And that was like, at the end of the day, I'm like, holy shit. Yeah. No, we didn't expect that either. Like, like, I told them, I said, my goal is to raise a million. They're like, there's no way. Yeah. And we raised over two million dollars our first year. This year's going to be better. And then at the end of the night, Luke hops on stage with some of his other friends, like, and does a little show, which, which like, some of his

other friends. It's like Little Big Town. It was so fun. It was like something that nobody can ever experience because Luke did it. Jason Alton hop on stage, Little Big Town, John Party. All the Peach Pickers. Yes. And so we had, it was really something. And we have a few more people showing up this year. You'll have to wait and see. It's going to be really cool. Surprise guest. It's going to be really cool. There's a bunch of singers and non-sing singers who are coming. I have a few comedian friends who I love who are coming and they are the funniest people on this planet and they're just going and they're just coming to hang out and have a good time and they'll probably grab the microphone a few times just to do something funny. Comedy shows are my favorite of all. Mine too. Mine too. Like I wish I was but I'm not talented

enough to do it they do at all. Yeah. It was honestly for me one of the most fun days of my year. Me too. It was so. fun because well you we we plan this for almost a year so everything is very well planned out and my my baby is the putting for purses which dominated and i yeah and that's that's why i had a shot stand set up right right behind it i was at that shot stand a lot yes it was fun and we have a glam tent yes this year go get hair and makeup done do that and it's being sponsored by net a porte so there's going to be some there's going to be tons of of stuff there. The putting for purses is like a little area set up with the designer bags and you just

have to make a put. But people don't realize how hard it is to put after a tequila shot. Like you were pretty smart to set it up that way. Oh yeah. But you can win Gucci. So we've got all kinds of purses coming. Like real deal stuff. So that's happening October 19.

October 19th. Also information for that would be on the website as well. Yes. And then we're also doing because our teams have sold out, which it's, it's, unbelievable. Our teams have already sold out. But me and Luke and some other people are going to be live streaming that day. And so there is a raffle that I've got on my Instagram. So there's a raffle where anybody can get involved and win like free tickets and all kinds of stuff. So how would people find the raffle beforehand? I've been putting it on my Instagram story every day. So they can just,

I think it's 20 bucks. Okay. I need to double. And so you're and we pull. And we pull. I think five or six names all day and they win tickets and Duluth show and maybe maybe something else. Okay. Some pretty big prizes for 20 bucks. Yeah.

I'll actually post the link or whatever it is the flyer about that on my Instagram page. Maybe in a story too. And like a highlight. So people can see and find where to find that because that sounds like a pretty good deal. It is.

And it's just fun. And it's, I mean, we'll just be on, we'll go live throughout the day just to show you what in the world's happening. because it's a pretty crazy event. There was a lot going on last year. So if you guys want to find out more about CHD too,

I know on your website you guys have a lot of different descriptions of kind of what, I can't believe how common it is. And I've never heard of it before hearing about Brett. Oh, yeah, it is. There's all kinds and all kinds, one in a hundred kids. Yeah. Jeez. But let's talk about a positive too that your brother and sister-in-law did just have another baby.

did well's a little boy he just turned one oh and he's the cutest the happiest and he favors brett a lot which is so funny he favors brett a lot but he's just the happiest cutest he's starting to walk he's just he's he's the best that makes me so happy for them he's the little brother and that's what everybody calls him little brother little brother so he's just he's just the cutest and i'm so in love with him. I love that you guys have turned your pain now into something that's helping other people. I love hearing stories like that just because like you said, it helps you heal, but it's also, there's so many families out there who probably are less fortunate than some of the people we know. Yeah. I mean, and you know what? I've found the first person to pick you up is a person who's been

down. Yeah. So, you know, and a lot of people haven't been through horrible things and, you know, good. I don't wish you need, right. I don't wish that on anybody, but I've always found the, the first person to show up is a person who's been there. Because I know what it feels like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm here to pick anybody up. Well, I love your spirit. Thank you so much for being here to do this with me. You guys go check out the brettboryer Foundation.org for all information of just this organization, the things that they do, where you can help out if you want to buy these raffle tickets, all of that. Check out both Caroline and mine and my Instagram. It is Lina Bryan. It's very, it's very country sounding.

Line of Brian three on Instagram. And for nothing else, follow for the pranks. Seriously. Well worth it. Thanks so much for being here. Thank you. Thank you guys for listening. Bye. Hi. This is Kelly Henderson and you've been listening to the Velvet's Edge podcast. I truly believe that every one of us has a little velvet and a little edge. So it's so important to remember that to be strong, you must be soft too. Thank you so much for sharing in those stories with me.

You can follow Velvet's Edge on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter as well as Velvet's Edge.com. If you haven't yet, go to Apple Podcast and subscribe, rate, and review this podcast. Join me every Wednesday for more conversation. on lifestyle, beauty, and relationships. Thanks for listening. All right, if you have ever dealt with a traditional home security company, you know the drill.

Expensive monthly fees, contracts that lock you in for years, and waiting around for a technician to set everything up. It's a lot. Well, now they're Simply Safe. They have completely changed the game. Simply Safe has no long-term contracts, no hidden fees, no being trapped. They earn your business by actually keeping you safe, not by locking you in.

Setting up is so easy. You customize your system at SimplySafe.com. It ships to your door in a few days, and with the app-guided setup, you can have everything installed and armed in under an hour. No technician needed. And it's not just a camera.

It's a full ecosystem of sensors, cameras for inside and outside, and 24-7 professional monitoring. If there's ever a break-in, a fire, or a flood, SimplySafe's agents are on it immediately. They were also named America's best customer service by Newsweek, which honestly tracks. Right now, you can get 50% off your new system by visiting simplysafe.com slash bones. That's half off at simplysafe.com slash bones.

There's no safe like SimplySafe. A better help ad. Financial stress affects the majority of Americans, often causing anxiety, sleep disruption, and even depression. It's also one of the leading sources of conflict for couples. When money feels uncertain, it can weigh on your thoughts, your relationships, and your sense of stability, and that emotional weight can be hard to carry alone. Finding the right type of support can help. Therapy can give you the space to talk through what financial stress brings up for you, and help you build tools to manage uncertainty with more confidence. With better help, you can connect with a licensed therapist from the comfort of your home on a schedule that works for you. It's flexible, convenient, and designed to make getting started feel simple.

If you've been feeling the impact of financial stress, you don't have to navigate it on your own. See if they're a piece for you. Visit betterhelp.com for 10% off. That's betterhelp.com. Service opens doors, and at American Military University, it can open doors for the whole family. If you have a loved one who served in the military, you may qualify for reduced tuition. AMU offers flexible online programs designed to fit your schedule so you can keep moving forward wherever life takes you. Learn more at AMU. APUS.edus.edu slash military.

Open doors to the future for you and your family with the help of American Military University. That's AMU. APUS.org.org. With Air Tasker, you can check off anything on your to-do list. Okay, today's list. Pick up the cat, get my nails done, drop off the brownies for the fundraiser, and add fixed windshield to the list. A palm tree just fell on my car. Air Tasker it is. From errands to emergencies, post your task, set your budget, and let local taskers help you out.

Go to Airtasker.com or download the app. No task too big, too small, or too palm tree shaped. Air Tasker. Get anything done?