The Bobby Bones Show - Dare to Drag with Kerri Colby

Episode Date: September 28, 2022

Drag star Kerri Colby has come came a long way from her Southern upbringing. Today, she’s one of the breakout stars from Season 14 of RuPaul’s Drag Race. On this episode, Kerri joins Betty Who to talk about how she uses drag to inspire others to find validation, acceptance, and visibility. Kerri understands the importance of respecting where you came from as part of the journey to finding who you were meant to become. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. Amazon Health AI presents painful thoughts. I can't stop scratching my downtown. Yeah, but I'm not itching to go downtown and tell a receptionist. I'm here to talk about my downtown. Some things you'd rather type than say out loud. There's no question too embarrassing for Amazon Health AI.

Chat your symptoms and get virtual care 24. 4-7. Health care just got less painful. Hi, everyone, and welcome back to Unfiltered, the JBL podcast, an iHart radio production and partnership with JBL. I am your host, Betty Who. I am so excited about today's guest in today's episode because something I have been thinking a ton about recently is how you can share and set an example for people

without putting yourself too much on blast. How do you come to reconcile the balance between giving yourself to the people who follow you and see you and want to know more about you while still holding on to a little bit of it for yourself. Balance is actually a very big theme of our episode today. So I could not be more excited to introduce the one and only Miss Carrie Colby. Oh my gosh, you guys.

A seriously talented drag performer, as you already know. She is as fine as she is fierce. You may know her from season 14 of RuPaul's Drag Race. Oh, my God. Carrie is also an open book, which is one of my favorite parts about her. She has used her platforms like Drag Race to share her life story and inspire others with her visibility, whether friends or fans from the legendary House of Colby, yes. Carrie is a trans queen trailblazer and a lip sync legend, and now one of my new best friends.

So let's just get right into it, shall we? Carrie, Colby, I can't believe you're here with me today, and we're doing this together. We are metaverse and connected, and I feel like it's in our destiny to be connected often, and I like it. I'm here for it. I know, we got to tell the people we were literally just together. a couple days ago playing a show in Dallas, just, you know, holding it down for the people and the heat. Sweating it out for

the South, honey. That is exactly what we really did. I remember seeing you come off stage and you were like, please don't hug me, I'm disgusting, and I was like, I feel you I'm about to be that way. Trenched. We call it the splash zone on tour when we get really hot. If you're in the first four rows, we're doing turns, we're moving and just, it'll come off

of our bodies and it will hit you in the splash zone. So, you're welcome. I've been so excited to, I'm like, you know, of course, now we're a besties because we play a show together and we go so far back now. But I genuinely believe that you were the perfect person to be here with us doing this together because you, this entire podcast is supposed to be about being authentic and trying to find yourself and living out loud, if you will. Let me show you my true colors, honey. Please. So I guess let's like start at the very beginning, which is how did you, I know this is

the obvious question, but how did you start doing drag? I want to know sort of where we all began here. Oh my gosh. It's a long, long journey, but I feel like any feminine, spirited individual that resides in good old Texas, specifically the Dallas Metroplex, there shall be some cross-dressing. I understand. And I feel like that's kind of like in a really funny way how everything started for me. I feel like I always knew that there was a very feminine energy and entity. And in my story and my journey, I think my biggest story arc or my biggest antagonist, really, was my trauma because I always felt to do one thing. I always felt to be one way. I always felt to explore something. And I was never allowed to. I was never encouraged to. In fact, I was punished oftentimes for that. And so my journey into drag and everything really started to take hold of itself when I was a little underage. But we were in Dallas around 15 to 18. And I was finally in a place where I was in my own zone. I was thankfully living with like a roommate who saved my life, literally.

But I was not looking over my back like, am I going to get beat by my parents for playing with this Barbie doll? Am I going to have to write a whole Psalms 1952 verse because I wanted to play with some girl's hair and like, see what it feels like because I like that shit? But I started to like finally tiptoe out. And it took baby steps. It took putting a beautiful acrylic piece of plastic hair on my head for one time.

It took, you know, getting the most glamorous handmade gown from somewhere in Asia at a BCBG boutique, honey. Oh, hello. You know, that was my first dress ever. So there was a lot of stages to that. But I think drag really started from my mind. And it started from me stepping out and experimenting and exploring with my feminine side and building on that. Now, there was a lot to build because it was definitely a little humorous at first. Well, it's so special.

I mean, like, look at where you are now, especially coming from a place where your art, your drag, has come from this, like, place of repression, place of I cannot be myself. Yeah. I'm so proud and happy and so glad that you put yourself in a position to be able to succeed and be yourself. And hello, victory. It's me. Hello? We hear. Yes.

I love hearing, especially in queer, trans, people of color, all the beautiful layers and spectrums of our rainbow. I love hearing about those success stories of someone having a moment where they find themselves at a very early age. But I think the one very important part of my story is, especially coming from a person of color's perspective. Unfortunately, my story is so common. And that is the problem. I think that there's suppression in a lot of the umbrella of people that come from a repressive background and very religiously structured. You know, that's our story. And I love that I'm able to give that story a little extra layer of life.

Thank you for sharing that. Thank you. This is the generation now where we get to break the cycle. Will you, like, paint me a picture as far as how it started? Like, you know, you said there's a little piece of acrylic hair here and maybe a little lips. Like, where'd you learn to do makeup? Are you a YouTube makeup queen? Like, how did you sort of grow, starting from, like, the piece of acrylic hair that you were putting on to being this, like, completely evolved, like, you know your look, you know your shape, you know what you're giving?

So we're talking, like, 2013-14. This was the era of, like, the very, like, made-up super tan, gaudy Barbie dog divas. I remember. This was very, like, Kim Kardashian's, like, glam lashes era. This was Lily Galici. This was Angel Brinks. Beyonce was popin' off. with her fashions and stuff. So it was like all the girls were entering their like glamy,

Barbie emulated era. And I was obsessed with that because it was the most feminine thing I had seen. And I wanted to take inspiration from that to hopefully utilize that. I got into working in makeup as soon as I turned 18. So that was where I started kind of like, okay, I know I like being pretty. I know I like being feminine or whatever. How can I learn to get a better skill set around it? So I started doing cosmetics. As soon as I turned 18, I worked for Klinique. When I tell you, I had the most beat bitches walking out of Kinnik. Like, you would have thought it was a mat counter with a white coat on.

And I think that kind of got me in trouble at the time. But, you know, I made it my own thing. I was like, we're going to make you fabulous. Oh, you were being authentically you, no matter where you were going. Authentically me. In good old Texas, honey. Well, holding it down. So I went from there.

And then when I moved to L.A. in, I was like 18, 19 at that point, I never really like lost focus of like, I want to focus on learning the aesthetic that I'm obsessed with. So I went in from there and worked at Tom Ford Beauty, Charlotte Tilbury, and just started shaping my artistry skill set more and more, more, cleaner, cleaner, and eventually there came point where I was like, being the kind of girl I want to be. And we were still doing drag at this point. Like, the whole drag into transition thing was a trauma Lama in itself that came from my brother passing and me being like, I need to get myself together because he's not here no more. That's an extension of my family. It's gone. And what am I? Where

am I? What am I doing? But to that point, I was like, I need more money to be able to afford this fantasy, these shoes. Because at that point, it went from acrylic hair to, if it's not human hair, don't touch me with it. Oh my gosh. You know? No more shaking goes. No more. This ain't no chicken shit. Shake a go, honey. We don't got tired for that. And that was when I kind of went from working in a beauty counter and doing other people's faces. So, like, I still wanted to keep up with that. My focus on the fantasy that I liked never, ever changed. And at that point, I was, like, taking more reference from YouTube and beauty influencers.

Because that was, like, I think, what are we talking at that point? Like, 2017, 18. It's beautiful to see that that's something that I remember when I was, because that's, again, I'm on that edge between when that internet sensation of Be Who You Are broke out. And like before that, especially come from the South, it was like, no, we got some rules for you because you need, you need to follow these patterns to be what you're supposed to be. And if you're not what you're supposed to be, then now you're a problem. So I'm so curious about how it feels for you now, the show we just played in Dallas together. Like, talk about queer. It's like exclusively, just like the gayest night ever. It was a gay softball league. We played the after party. It was like this big fun queer night. Absolutely. When you go back to Texas, when you're there, do you feel like this push and pull between like, oh my God, I had so much trauma here, but also look at how beautiful. this queer community is?

What's your experience going home now off to having kind of this entire life experience you've had where you really do get to be yourself and you've come to terms with who you are? You explained it perfectly. You know, like you hit it right on the spot about that there's, there is a lot of trauma. So it's almost like I'm on the verge of a panic attack everywhere I go because it's a familiar street. I remember what happened. And even some of my trauma came from my queer community because, you know, going back a few years ago, there was a lot less evolving.

people were projecting and they were masking. Especially about trans people, I feel like that has been a really new space where the queer community has had to be like, we have to make room for the trans community here because that's the whole point. Exactly. And education is key. I feel like a lot of times, especially in southern queer communities, people love to learn about themselves. You know, like, I don't want to put nobody on the spot, but like the white twinks, like whatever, they would learn specifically things that apply to being a twink and being Caucasian. and that was their ministry. That was their struggle, and that was their thing.

Everyone's the main character in their own life. They were all, yeah. And I think that that's something that really has changed in Texas since I was there, where I think there's been enough people coming in from other places. It has reshaped it a little bit. The people do seem to be in a much better headspace. What's the balance for you between, like, living by example, and having sort of, it's definitely a burden to bail.

Yeah. I'm always trying to find my balance for that, so I wonder how you feel about, where you sort of stack up and what's the right chemistry for you to feel like you're doing something really important while also like being an entertainer that's like making people have fun. The way I look at it is number one, me, like the product or the visual people see, this was built over time. There was a lot to me. The brand. Yeah. The brand was built. Yeah. The brand's all. It was built. The ground. But it was built, you know. This was my way of fixing my insecurities. But

before that, there was a lot of trauma that made me insecure, and I had to learn how to work out of that. And in my life personally, my story is not just like I said. It's not just like a, I thought it snapped it, I got it, success, amazing. It was a lot of things that were a little hard and also beyond that, things that were completely out of my control. When I think about that, I really try hard not to allow an ego to really take over. A little ego is fine. You got to have a sense of self, But I think for me, I'm always coming from a place of humility and humbleness because this wasn't something that was just like, I want to do this and I'm going to do it, period. It was so many things that came to me sometimes outside of me that I'm like, okay, I'm part of something bigger.

And that's where my focus always is. And I always think about the young me. Balance is something we're going to chase to the day that we stop breathing, you know? I'm a Libra. I'm always, my whole life is about trying to figure out the balance. She's all about balance, darling. Well, so speaking of that and kind of like also out of just curiosity for me, where do you find, especially you've gone through so much in your gender expression,

finding out what makes you feel the most to you? Yeah. So in all of that, you've gone through this whole journey from like drag was sort of the first, like this exciting place that made you feel like really safe. And then this is, you know, shaped and grown. And now you've transitioned and you are, you know, I don't want to put words in your mouth, but living happily in this new kind of, like, like world and body and self, and here you are, and you've arrived inside of you, is there still

this sort of divine feminine, divine masculine? Like, is there a balance still inside of you that feels, or are you like, honey, she is 100% feminine? Or are there still things that you, like, hold on to from your masculine self? Like, I'm really curious about that. To me, my transition really only happened in me being 100% authentic, honest, and real with myself. And there are girls out there that, like, they ran from their previous gender. They couldn't do it. It was trauma. Never, never, never, never.

They got to be woman, woman, woman. There's no balance. For me, personally, I've never rejected or turned a blind eye to my previous self. I just had a whole thing on Twitter where I addressed my old self as my dead twin brother because it literally was like my other half that got severed and dearly beloved, dearly departed. I don't identify with that anymore. But that doesn't mean that I'm going to erase everything I learned.

Because I didn't transition until the pandemic. The pandemic really got us in us, right? I was battling doing that, but I was afraid. I was terrified of people's opinions. I was terrified of what people might say. I was terrified of that awkward, ugly stage. But when the lockdown happened, I could not stand being around myself without exploring. And part of that exploration was,

defining my masculine and where that is, defining my feminine, where that is and where I want both to be. Well, and also like, you know, giving yourself the grace. Yeah. More on Unfiltered, the JBL podcast, after a quick break. Amazon Health AI presents painful thoughts. I, um, I can't stop scratching my downtown. Yeah, but I'm not itching to go downtown and tell a receptionist.

I'm here to talk about my downtown. Some things you'd rather type Than say out loud There's no question too embarrassing For Amazon Health AI Chat your symptoms And get virtual care 24-7 Health care just got less painful

And now back to the show Okay, I have to ask you like Just I feel like this is the question That I feel like everyone's gonna want to know So we have to jump here Jump, honey Iconically, you wore J-Lo's green

Milan Fashion Week dress The Vessachi has on RuPaul's Drag Race. Coutor girls, honey. What does that moment even feel? I can't even like that's, it feels like there's so much, it's like RuPaul, you're on RuPaul,

so you're like, whoa. And then it's like you're in the J-Lo dress and you're like, whoa. And it's just like there's a lot of layers of woe there, so I just want to check in on how you felt about it. And then you had to lip sync in it. So you're like, whoa. Whoa.

Because that dress be going places, you know what I mean? That dress is made to move, but it's not meant to do no Super Bowl halftime performance. I'll tell you that. It was a bucket list item to even be affiliated with J-Lo. Like I said, I'm a Leo. She's a Leo. I've always really appreciated her.

I ride for J-Lo so hard. It was amazing. And I happened to have a very close friend. My house brother, Mr. August. Shout out to August, Getty, honey. Oh my God, I love August. Okay, this is a connection for us. I didn't realize.

I'm obsessed with August. Yes. I love, love, love. Okay, great. We're here. He's everything, everything. So the dress was actually his. And when we got that list, I was aware that he recently had acquired that dress.

So I was like, I know that's his baby, but like... Do you think? Is it anywhere I could potentially wear it? The show's already like, oh, my God, I'm here. This is something I've watched as a kid. It helped me out a lot when I was dealing with my crazy moments in my early ages in Dallas. And it's all coming together. And it really made me feel so...

I think that was one of the first times, which is kind of sad, but it's just honest in reality. That was one of the first times that I was. I looked at myself and I not only felt beautiful, but I felt proud. Like, I achieved a dream. I'm living a dream out loud. And this is everything. Definitely thought that I was going to win that challenge. And then I got told, nope, it's time to lip sync.

And then imagine it was just panic, but almost like exhilarating because I'm like, if there's one thing people going to pay attention to is this. And it opened doors for literally to be here, I heart radio. I opened for J-Lo herself. for the icon awards this year. Did you get to like meet her, meet her? Say hi to her? We had a moment because she actually came in early.

Leo's one thing you're going to get them on, no matter how successful they are. If it comes to iconography about their life, they're about it. They are committed. So she literally had flown in a little early for dress rehearsals to make sure and we had so much representation

in the queer culture that was embodying her, her eras and all that. So she was there like on them. Like I turned this way. I didn't spend this. I love that. If you're going to snap, snap with this hand, honey, snap with one finger less. Like, she wanted to see herself.

So specific. I love that. Yes. And when it came to her and I, I guess it's a good thing. She didn't say much because she had no notes, which is good. I'm honored. But to me, I was like, can you make a note? Can you give me one?

Give me a note. And she literally was like, no, no notes. Like, okay. Wow. Just do you. Honestly, put that on your tombstone. No notes, Jennifer Lopez. told me she had no-no. Yes. That's iconic. Okay, so speaking of lip sync, what a crazy moment.

Do you have a song that is your like, this is kind of like, I feel like the drag equivalent of like, what's your go-to karaoke song? What's your like lip sync for your life? I'm going. I'm going to fuck everybody up right now with this lip sync song. It depends on my energy. I have so many different inspirations. But like if you want me to go to somewhere, I don't even know where I'm going. Give me Whitney. Understandable. Are you like an up-tempo? or are you like an end-night kind of Whitney? I'm a little bit of all of it. You can give me Queen of the Night because I love that.

Reminds me of my upbringing. You can also hit me with I have nothing. Oh, my God. And just like leave it on the floor. Whitney's voice speaks to my soul in that powerful way, so I completely understand. And just remembering her story. It's just like, I know. Oh, she lives on in us.

So did you have a moment where you were like, I have to be more honest? Have you always just been super comfortable sharing yourself? How has it changed your relationship to performance? Does it make you feel more invested in it because you're like, these people know me now? I just want to know about like your relationship to sort of sharing in that way and how it has changed you. Completely, completely. Well, I always felt like I had nothing to really hold onto for myself because like every time I would try to find something,

it was taken away from me or I'd be punished or it just would end up collapsing. But I think one thing that's happened is I used to do it out of like a coping mechanism. I used to do it to like, okay, I'm just going to tell you everything so you can't like come back and like judge me. Because like if you know everything now, then you're not really going to be able to like say, I didn't know that about you. Ew, later. And now I'm at a point where it's like, no, I've lived. I feel a lot more comfortable now with people. I don't feel anxiety like everyone's staring at me waiting for me to mess up or waiting for me to do something wrong so they can laugh at me.

I feel like now it's like they can laugh all they want. At the end of the day, my head, my heart, my spirit was in a space of giving and sharing. And the people who received it, that's who I'm there for. And it is scary. That's scary territory. But it's like you always have to bring yourself back to that. Like, we only do this once. Yeah.

Even though in our life, it feels like we live so fast. We live so many lives at one time. It feels like there's a sense of rehearsal. There's a sense of preparedness that it takes us out of that space. But you got to remember, we do this one time. You know, we do this one time. in this moment, in this space, being exactly who we are at this moment, always just give it your best. Because you never know, but you always should just give everything you got because

you want to look back and be proud, you know? Yeah, absolutely. Okay, so how long does your full face take for a show? Like, what's your pre-show timing? Do you want just face or like head to toe, outfit, hair, everything? I want the like head-to-to-to-show show getting ready and then what's your like our pre-show, how are we, like, walking on the stage? For me, I make everybody dance to music and then we all take a tequila shot. Like, what's your version of that? Okay, yes, tequila shot. I'm very much a tequila shot type person, too. It gets them nerves down. Yes. Hello. I don't like to be brushed. So I will literally wake up earlier to enjoy the process and take a little longer. For me, head to toe getting ready. It depends on how complex it is. But like,

for example, today, I think this took like two and a half hours, three hours, which is about my normal. And then if it's like a big event, we add a little more to it. If there's more moving parts. Five. Yeah. I love a good five-hour moment. People don't realize how committed you have to be and how much energy it takes to just get ready before you're even starting the thing that you're supposed to go do. Like, especially for a gorgeous woman like you who is doing art, you're going, this is aught. This is, I'm serving something here. My body is my temple. It's my expression. I'll be honest. there's times just in getting done, I'd be exhausted. Like, am I really about to go do more?

Like, whoa. Just getting into this is like, oh, I'm ready for bed now. Great. Right, like, okay, got ready. I feel like I did set the time to go to bed. But I feel like another part that, like, helps me deal with that sometimes is that, you know, I'm a lot more comfortable. I used to run away from who I was everyday natural. Because my everyday person is Elise and my stage ensemble is Carrie, right?

Okay. I used to run from who a least. least was so I could go be Carrie because Carrie felt like a superhero to me. And that was exhausting. It's Alma to put on and be like, nobody can touch Carrie. Absolutely. But I think in making this a more everyday moment, right, where this is our life, I've had to be a lot more comfortable. So I'm not running and getting ready and like, oh my God, I have to fix everything. I hate what I got. I don't like this. I got to hurry up and be my superhero version of myself for I'm not anything. The more that I've like relaxed and be like, I'm me regardless,

the more that I'm like, okay, I could get through this. I'm not as tired because I'm not running. I am pursuing a destiny, but I'm not running from anything. And it helps. Oh, so beautiful. When you arrive there, what a beautiful place to be. You walk in, you're just like, oh. Here I am.

Perceive me. Yes. Okay, well, my last question, to top us all off. Top me, honey. Speaking of being inspirational, you inspire me. Thank you. I want to know what inspires you. Or like, oh, this makes me want to grow and do all of this.

Like, what is the stuff that's making you feel coming outside of yourself even more? Absolutely. I am a huge believer in the power of manifesting. And I'm a huge believer in the power of set unrealistic goals for yourself because I want to be able to look back in 30 years from now and be like, we were here and now we're here. And that pushes me. the people around me push me. And also like opening up more, doing more, doing the very things that scare me has now become what I love. And even like right now, I'm finally taking the leap and I'm investing into getting into some music.

I'm working on it. And that's really exciting. It's really, really exciting. It's a passion that I've had for a long time, been very kind of shy about. And stepping into that, I'm so excited to see what that works. is going to be like because it's uncharted territory. The sky is literally the limit for you. And if you just tell yourself this is where I'm headed and I'm going to get there and

everybody just wait and see, it absolutely will happen. There is no doubt in my mind. Sisters, sisters thriving, honey. I'm so grateful for your time and energy and you're just so, I really have enjoyed our time together. Thank you, Miss Betty. Thank you. Thank you very much.

All right, that's it. I want to thank Carrie Colby again for joining me today. Elise, my absolute gorgeous, gorgeous girl. We love to see a queen at work. I am so inspired and moved by her authenticity and her ability to be herself and share herself and sharing this parts of herself that were really difficult, things that she overcame and how she's become this incredible living out loud person that I think should inspire us all. So that's it for today's episode. But join me again next week when we talk about being an elite athlete while staying authentic when the game is over. And don't forget to Join in on the conversation.

Share your thoughts with me on social, or leave a rating and review for the podcast wherever you're listening. Let me know how you like the show. Tell me what your favorite moments have been and what you want to talk about in the future. You can always find me on Instagram and Twitter at Betty Who and on TikTok and YouTube at Betty Who Music. Until next time, Unfiltered the JBL podcast is produced by IHartRadio

in partnership with JBL. Our show is hosted by me, Betty Who. Our executive producer is Molly Socha. Our EP of post-production is Matt Stillo. Our editor is Sierra Starris. Spring. This episode was written and produced by Sierra Kaiser. Special thanks to our friends at JBL, Initiative and Donna.