The Bobby Bones Show - Dare to Find Your Voice with Betty Who

Episode Date: September 7, 2022

In this first episode of “Unfiltered: The JBL Podcast,” songwriter, entertainer, and host of this podcast, Betty Who shares her growth as an artist and how she found her voice in music. She shares her advice on how to be comfortable in your skin when you were born to stand out. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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see the right care fast. Health care just got less painful. Hi everyone and welcome to our first episode of Unfiltered, the JBL podcast, a JBL podcast produced by IHeartRadio. I am Betty Hu. Hi, and I am so excited to be here starting this journey with all of you. This podcast is meant to be a place to minimize the noise and tune into what's unapologetically real and unfiltered. So every episode, I chat with the innovators and disruptors who have taken a leap and dared to stand out, yes. So today's episode, though, we're going to start things off a little differently, because while I am also the host of this podcast today, I am also going to be the guest, question mark? I know, it's crazy, you guys. So for those of you who don't know me, I am an entertainer

and a songwriter and an actor. I are going to hear a little bit about that in this conversation. But I have spent the last 10 years seeing how music can affect the world. I want to use my powers for good instead of evil and connecting with people through vulnerable storytelling and sharing space with people is the number one way I have figured out how to create change and start conversations. So I obviously relate so much to the journeys our guests have taken finding their voice. It's so hard being a creative person and trying to figure out who you are. So today, I am lucky enough to share my story with all of you, if you will allow me. But since I cannot interview myself, our producer, Sierra Kaiser, is going to step into

the interviewer role for this one. So what do you say? Should we hop to it? Let's get to my story. Hi, Sierra. Hey, Betty. What is up? Oh, you know, I'm just doing great. I'm so happy to be here with you in conversation. What are some of your first, like, music memories and, you know, where that started for you? Sure. Well, I started playing cello when I was four. So I feel like that was definitely like an early childhood sort of cello lessons, being in the like young kids orchestra and ensembles and stuff like that, actually playing music. So much of that is rooted in cello. And now I'm kind of expecting to hear a cello performance from you, but I'll let you sit on that idea. Sierra, I will tell you, the album that I'm putting out is about to have the first

song that I've ever played cello on. No way. I know. We're really doing it, babe. It's official. I know. It took me a long time to get here, but I've made it. That's called Full Circle. It is. I can't wait to hear it. Thank you. From cello, how did you get into singing? And where were you first performing, like on stage. So I did a lot of musical theater programs and stuff, kind of outside of school. I'm a real theater kid at Haas. I don't know if you get that energy for me. I don't know if my extroversion is really giving you all that you need to know already. And I think that was really where I found the love for singing and performing, but especially singing and storytelling. I started writing songs when I was 14, and that really kind of blossomed.

And it was my way of expressing myself. And I just felt like I had these big feelings and I had to put them somewhere and and that's kind of where it'll started. It just grew sort of beyond my wildest dreams. And so when you first started, and especially like at 14 trying to write songs, did you have stage write then? Was it kind of like writing in my journal trying to make these songs for fun? Or were you like, I'm taking this to the stage? Full, like, it's not ready yet. Like I couldn't possibly. No, I think the theater kid in me was like, everybody, look at me. I think I definitely had like maybe some overconfidence, if nothing else, that's pretty aggressive. But I think I'm very grateful for the part of my brain that didn't really feel embarrassment or shame in high school.

I think I'm very rare in that instance. So love that for me, love that for her. But I definitely think that I have always felt much more comfortable. I always felt that way about cello. Like I was playing it for me, but I felt really uncomfortable sharing it. And I think understanding at a really young age that I felt like I had something to say as a singer and songwriter in a different way than I did as a cellist really helped put that in perspective. Yeah, of course. And when you were trying to start writing and getting used to that, were you very pop focused at that time? Or was there like a different vibe? Were you being angsty? Like, how has that changed to what the music you put out now? Oh my God. I wish that my, I mean, it was pretty, I guess it was pretty angsty. It wasn't full emo like, tonight, you know, like full. I didn't, I didn't go full there. But I definitely think it was it was about feelings. It was about heartbreak. But I think still to this day, like at my core, I'm such a. Cerell. I'm such a. Cerell. Barbara Ellis, Missy Higgins, Ingrid Michelson.

Like, I was the era of Grey's Anatomy music, you know, it was like that was very important to culture. And it sounds like something that's so silly now because of the way that we consume music. But, like, that was huge. I remember seeing these songs that were, like, heartbreaking and about something that, like, storytelling that matches this moment. And so I think I spent the first 10 years of my professional life really being in the pop world wanting to go there because I love Brittany and I love Beyonce and I grew up on the J-Lo and

and these incredible female entertainers that I wanted to be just like. And now I had to step back and be like, what am I really good at actually? What's, well, who am I as opposed to who we're all? I know who those people are. Like, who am I? And so I think a huge part of that has been coming back to my songwriter roots and love for storytelling and really focusing on that. And I was like, what if I just wrote songs? That's what I think. I think I'm actually really good at. Hell yeah. I mean, at this rate, I think I smell like a Brandy Carlisle collaboration in your future.

Don't! Sierra! Sierra, I'm getting really close to the mic. Sierra, don't start with me. I will poop my pants. Brandy Carlisle's voice, her and those twin, her and those fucking twins and those three-part harmonies that she's been cooking out for 10 years, I, Brandy Carlisle speaks to the depths of my soul. Oh, man. Well, that's how I feel about you and Brandy, which is why I'm,

hype to be here because you know what? I was like, I would love to work with Betty Hu. I think she's perfect for this podcast. And you're here now. So I feel like we're in the space to manifest you and Brandy. Sierra, you are a powerful manifester. I feel it already. I'm speaking it into the universe. Ms. Carlisle. Hey, hey, Brandy, call a bitch. You know where to find us. Any day. We all know and love you for like all these pop bangers and just like something you could really dance to and feel outside of yourself. And so I'm wondering like who were some other people. I know you mentioned Brittany and Beyonce and any genre that you looked up to growing up and how they have an influence on your work now. Yeah, I think a huge part of my process in the last couple of years leading into this record has been about realizing all of the people that I am not and all of the people that I did look up to and wanted to be just like and then realizing that that's who they are, of course, and I have to figure out who I am and be that instead of trying to be them.

And so Brittany and Beyonce, as a kid, like, they were at the height of pop culture of being the most important women in the business in my eyes. J-Lo is also up there, too. They all are triple threats in all these different ways. But I think those women were born into different bodies than I was born into. I'm really tall. I'm over six feet tall. I think that alone has given me a really singular life experience, like me and the girls in the WMBA. Like holding it down, most people, like, don't really understand what that feels like.

And so coming to terms with the fact that that actually makes me really different, and I should lean into that instead of trying to hide it and pretend like I'm everybody else. Now I'm finally at a secure enough place in my life where I can take inspiration and be a fan and consume the art and music from all of these different artists and also understand what is and isn't mine and letting them be them and knowing that there's enough room for all of us. I love that. And don't think us fans didn't notice you when unprignant. When I saw you on the screen, I literally fell off the couch and, like, flew out the window. I was so shook. You were great in it. Oh, my God.

Baby's first movie. Thank you. So great and so hot in it. Like, you were peak. Sierra, wow. I was 6'2 coming into this conversation. Now I feel like I'm 6'8. I just grew half a foot.

I can't believe it. I'm so excited. I'm jacked up. Thank you. Do you think a lot about how you're a role model for your own fans? Before this record, I don't think. that I thought about it a lot. I think I was very like, I can barely figure my fucking self out. So like, I can't think for, I can't be a role model. I'm barely a role model for myself.

I definitely think that's changed for me. You know, I'm a little older. I think I've spent a lot of time with myself in the last couple years as all of us were kind of forced to. I think a huge part of that was realizing that little me, you know, 10 year old me was watching Britney Spears, who's five foot six and a hundred pounds. And like, that's amazing for her. And I love that for her. and like, you know, chic, so 90s, you know, it's like giving tiny girl. But I didn't see artists that reflected me back to myself. And that's maybe why it took me an extra 10 years of my adult life to be able to figure that something that seems so fundamentally obvious. It's like, no, you'd have to be yourself. It's like, duh. Like, of course I do. But it's taken me so long to process how to do that.

And I'm still really, I'm in it. And so I think now that I've come. to realize that about myself, I think about 10-year-old me and how badly she needed somebody to be that person. And now I think I understand the, you know, age-old adage with great power comes great responsibility. And I think I feel more comfortable and capable of carrying that now. And maybe more like excited to. Like I want to be on stage and be proud of who I am and show other particularly young women. I think young queer people is really the people I really want to speak to, but also especially young women. I have such a soft spot now for this young person inside of me. And now I think I'm way more excited and ready to stand on stage and be like, hey, you,

like in the audience, this you little girl, like we are the same. You can be anything you want to be. Yeah. And that's why representation is so important and so powerful. So when you were finding yourself and who you were as an artist, how did you find that place where you felt comfortable expressing what finally felt like your true self? I think I've really been standing in my own way for a long time, as I think maybe that's what we do. I think so often we are the cause and solution to our own problems. I think that making better choices for ourselves is always a way that we can take care

of ourselves better. I think being self-aware enough about what's not working. That was definitely something I really had to overcome was I spent a decade being like, well, this is just how I do it because this has been how I do it. And this is what everybody else is doing. So I guess I should do that. And taking a second to stop and actually ask myself, what do I really want? How does this look if I have everything I want?

And then trying those things on and going, oh, if this doesn't work, I can make a different choice. More from Betty Who after a quick break. Amazon Health AI presents painful thoughts. I can't stop scratching my downtown. Yeah, but I'm not itching to go down. and tell a receptionist I'm here to talk about my downtown. Some things you'd rather type than say out loud. There's no question too embarrassing for Amazon Health AI.

Chat your symptoms and get virtual care 24-7. Health care just got less painful. And now back to our conversation with Betty Who. On the show, we want to really explore how artists approach their art, but also like the confidence that informs that art and just, you know, they have to be kind of synonymous. And so I'm wondering the confidence that you bring to your persona as an artist and an entertainer, is it informed by the confidence you have as a person?

And do they kind of deviate? And how do you see them interacting with each other? Confidence is absolutely like, I know people say this, but genuinely it is fake it till you make it. Like, nobody has any more or less right to be somewhere or be better at something or be doing something. Like you showing up and saying, I deserve to be here, because I'm awesome and you should want to be with me and work with me and do the stuff with me is really all it takes a lot of the time. And the rest is just like experience points that you gain

through learning and falling on your face. The part that speaks to me in songwriting is also the part that can like send me into a manic depressive episode for days at a time. So now I'm trying to have better boundaries with that creative part of me. And also it's kind of like I picture it often as the Pixar movie Inside Out. Favorite. Where like there's the creative little noodle in my brain. and when she's like acting a full or having a tantrum, I will fully say to myself like, hey, hey, hey, you're in a timeout. I don't want to deal with you right now. This is not the time for this. You're going to sit down. I'm going to bring joy out. I'm going to bring happiness out. And I'm going to live with them for a second. And you can rejoin us when you're feeling like it.

You know, I think that agency and self-awareness about the different parts of you and where they are best used is something that's taken me. That's like a big adult thing. That's a grown-up thing for me that I have like been coming into now is having the agency and making the choice to put the parts of my brain in a timeout when they need to be in a timeout. Yeah, no, that's like a perfect way to picture it because, hey, that's an amazing movie. And it's actually so clear. It's like just let joy take over and sometimes you have to just make yourself sit down. Well, and also say like, hey, you don't get to ruin this moment for me right now. You to yourself. You know what I mean? Like, hey, self-sabotageer. You don't get to do this to me. I've worked my whole life for this moment.

so that one day when hopefully all of my dreams are coming true and I'm sitting on stage at the Grammys about to sing for everybody, it's like, no, that's, of course, because I've been waiting my whole life for this moment and I don't want to miss those moments while I'm getting them, you know? Hell yeah. Yeah. Speaking of manifesting. We've got the Grammys, Brandy Carlyle. Doing a lot. We'll just keep adding to the list. We'll do like a moon ritual, Sierra. I'm ready. Some witch shit. We're on our witch shit. So as a musician, you have a lot of crossover.

with also being a staple of queer culture. Who were some of, like, your LGBTQ role models growing up? I think growing up, funnily enough, there weren't that many that I can, like, that were really important or sort of, I was surrounded by queer culture in Sydney. It was always, like, from a young age, I was, I definitely felt as though people could be themselves, and I knew that. But as far as, like, in the media, especially in Australia, I think it's a really, there's a lot of, you know, internalized homophobia in so many Western, I mean, in so many countries all

over the world. When I think about like Peter Allen, the singer-songwriter who has written some of my favorite music and the iconic song I still call Australia Home, which is one of my most favorite songs of all times, just speaks to my soul. In my childhood, where I felt like gay culture was so on the outskirts of culture, even though gay culture was what informed pop culture, but we all just pretended like it didn't. And now we've arrived at a place where we respect and understand that gay culture is the driving force for all of culture because the gays have the best taste. And that's what they always say, like first the gays, then the girls, then the world. Like, I fully subscribe to that belief. And I think it's, I feel really lucky to be living in a time

when being queer is a lot more accepted. I don't want to say that it's like everything's dandy and fabulous. You know, I often struggle with being a queer person who's in like, a heteronormative relationship and how strange I think that reads to other people where I go, I'm just following my truth. And like, I found this person that I'm obsessed with and I want to marry and he's the best partner on the planet. And I love that. But I'm also like really queer presenting. And I feel really queer. And I think I act really queer. And so giving myself the permission to be myself, regardless of the circumstances or what I think people will feel or see for me, I think I'm trying to lead by example. If I'm going to tell my fans, if I'm going to tell people who come to

a show to be themselves and be comfortable with that and I'm not doing the same thing. I think it sucks. It's hypocritical. So I'm trying to to really live into it. It's really scary. It's really intense. And I'm very inspired by so many incredible artists who have found their voice and their comfort in themselves in a way that really inspires me to be myself. Like Jake Wesley Rogers, do you know Jake Wesley Rogers? Yeah, yeah. Is one of my favorite artists that exist right now. I remember hearing their song that goes hate on me. You might as well hate the sun for shining just a little too much. The lyrics in the song, I just was like, yes, exactly that. Hey, you got it. That's the thing. So shine bright sister,

you know, and I remind myself of that all the time and take the inspiration that I get from these artists, most of whom are younger than me. You know, it's like the new generation that's coming up of musicians like are so comfortable being themselves. It's like, that's crazy, you know? Yeah. And then, you know, like you're saying, we're still digging out of it, but there's a lot of brightness to the future, which is just sick to just watch happening. It's like a really, really beautiful thing. My best friend was with her cousins for dinner. They're all younger than 15.

She was trying to like, you know, be the cool, you know, millennial aunt and was like, tell me about your old life. You know, what's there getting crushes? Like, who are we into these days? And all of them went around instead of boy and a girl. Oh my God. And she was like, it was the coolest thing. I didn't tell them, you know, she was like, I didn't force anything.

They were literally just like, Zendaya is so pretty. I have the biggest crush on her. But then I guess also like Harry Styles. And it's like, oh my God. Cool vibe. I love this for us. We've made it. Yeah, it's so crazy to think like that is where we're moving and I just can't wait to see it like doubling over on itself and for everyone to just be comfortable in that space. I'm obsessed.

Queer people are joy. I genuinely believe that it's magic. Being able to be yourself and there's so much hatred in the hearts of people who hate queer people. I think that's very much what your music and your whole persona gives off, which is like the most beautiful part of it. My brand is strong. Thank you, Sierra. I love that. It's coming through loud and clear. It's coming through. I'm wondering, what do you want your legacy as an artist to be?

Oh, a toughie, a toughie for the end here, Sierra. I think I'm really good at holding space for people. I think I like to live into myself in the most loud and comfortable version of that so that other people see me. And they're like, wait, she's having so much fun. Can I have fun? I think humans often wait for permission from somebody else to live their best life. And so I think the thing I really want, the legacy I want to leave is that I lived into myself and I was honest about who I am and it encouraged other people to be their truer, bigger selves, you know.

Hell yeah. And I think you're heading in that direction. I'm trying to find it. I'm trying to figure it out. Thank you, Sierra. We ask all of our guests about not only finding their calling professionally, but finding themselves and living authentically. So what has your journey of living authentically been like? And how do you see that? My journey of living authentically has definitely been a long one. I think it's just been a process of getting deeper into what that really means and uncovering layers and making choices about who I really want to be. You know, I think making bold choices and trying things on and go, oh my God, who is she? Like, what is this part of myself? Can I access it? Do I want to?

You know, we are so untapped. And I love exploring. and I hope to get deeper into it only as I grow and get older. Yeah. And how would you describe yourself as a person and as an artist? I would describe myself. As a person, I would say I am loving and I talk too much and I will ride from my friends and family to the end of the earth. I think as an artist I would say that I want to hold space.

and honestly put on the most fun show anybody's ever been to. I want to have so much fun on stage that everybody is like, I can't believe how much fun she's having. I'm having fun and I'm only having like 30% of the fun that she's having. That's the vibe that I want to create. All part of that legacy, baby. Yeah. What is the hardest part about being authentic for you

and finding that contentment with who you are? I think the hardest part about being authentic for me is actually probably sharing it with people who don't know me. and then I go out into the world and people judge me for that. But I also think the whole point is probably to like, toughen up your skin because nobody can judge me but me. I was born free, as Beyonce says. And I think that that's the place I'm really trying to get to is like,

this is who I am today. It's okay if I want to change or make a different choice tomorrow. And if someone judges me today, that's about them and it's not about me. And I'm still living my true self and doing the best that I can. And when you're living your true self and trying to achieve that, What is your favorite way to feel your best? My favorite way, honestly, to feel my best probably is dancing. I know I'm a musician and we've talked a lot about music and creative process like that,

but I come alive on a dance floor, especially like a wedding dance floor. If I wasn't a musician, I think I would start like a party company, but it's not event planning. It's like, no, no, no, you hire me to come make your party fun. I'm going to get your grandma on the dance floor. All the aunties are going to be obsessed with me. just do you wait, it's 100% on a dance floor, just like feeling myself. I mean, people, stream she can dance by Betty Who, wherever you find your music. That's what I'm saying, Sierra.

She knows. She gets it. We get it. We get it. We're tying it in. What is your favorite music or artists to listen to? Oof. Ever-changing. On a big podcast kick, I like audiobooks. I like to listen to stories. I like to learn. I think I'm in a like input because I've been on output for so many months. but I know that's kind of a cop-out to your question. I guess if I'm listening to any artists for real,

I'm listening, again, listening to a lot of musical theater. It's like story time for me. I'm thinking about storytelling, and I have like a pretty bang and musical theater playlist that be on in the shower. I mean, yeah, you got to bring, that's the best place to belt it, so you got to bring out the theater kid.

Oh, big time. I've got range in that shower, like no one's ever heard. I guess, if we're really being honest, probably the only music that I have consistently been listening to is Renaissance. She's got me out here like, I want to be on a dance floor. I like, I really, Beyonce is who, I have a Beyonce tattoo. I have a WWBD.

What would Beyonce do tattoo? Oh my God. Right there. So it's very, like, Renaissance is very important. I should have led, I should have started. That's so obvious. I should have started with that. And what advice do you have for others who may be listening and struggling with finding

themselves and figuring out who they are, you know, especially as young people? You're exactly where you meant to be right now. Everything that is coming for you will come when it's meant to come. And be grateful about today. It's presence. It's about enjoying literally the moment that you're in because it's over. You know, it is all a part of the journey and and be kind to yourself. And if there's something today that you don't like about yourself, do something tomorrow to change that and make that something that you can love about yourself. You know, and you're on the journey and I believe in you. Literally, as you're speaking, I'm like growing a small, blonde wig. I'm becoming Betty Who in spirit, which is really really everything I've ever wanted. I think we should get the entire team, Betty Who Wigs, for these interviews. I think that would be really important. Molly's nodding.

We've got the whole team on board. Okay, great. Last question. I spoke about the type of music you started out with. When did you know that the music you were making was like 100% like Betty Who and who you wanted to be? I actually know exactly what in that moment was. I spent, so I went to Berkeley College of Music in Boston, which was my college education. And the person that I met there who was probably the most impactful.

person in my adult life was Peter Thomas, who was my collaborator, co-writer, and producer of my first three albums. And so he and I spent basically three years, like in his basement, in my dorm room, in his parents' house writing and recording and trying stuff out and trying to make songs and figuring it like listening to Katie Perry records and being like, how does it sound like good and listening to, you know, the music of the time, femme fatale and Teenage Dream, the Britney and Katie records were like our pop education at this moment in time. Peter sent me a bounce of, he texted me saying, I think I figured out the drums. And he texted me the first demo of somebody loves you, which is my first single. And it was the first time that I was like, I think we could put this out.

I think we made it. So it was like 2012, January 2012 or something was I was like, okay, I think we're getting somewhere. Hell yes. Shout out to Katie Perry. Big, big shout out to Ms. Catherine Hudson. What a gal. Catherine Hudson, the coming out of a generation. Oh my God. She did kiss a girl and she liked it. Daddy Who, thank you so much for taking the time. I didn't think I could be more obsessed. Sierra, feelings mutual. More obsessed with you now than I ever have been. Can't believe it. Okay, that's it for today's episode. But starting next week, I'm taking the reins and I will be doing the interviewing. I'm going to speak with some really amazing people and I'm excited for you to come along with me. And I want to hear from you.

What do you think of the podcast? Who should we have on the show? What are you loving right now? What inspires you to live in the world? Your own way. Rate and review us wherever you're listening. And you can always find me on Instagram and Twitter at Betty Who and on TikTok and YouTube at Betty Who music.

Until next time, dare to be bold and dare to be yourself. Unfilted, the JBL podcast is produced by IHart Radio and JBL. Our show is hosted by me, Betty Who. Our executive producer is Molly Socha. Our EP of post-production is Matt Stiller. Our editor is Sierra Spreen. This episode was written and produced by Sierra Kaiser. Special thanks to our friends at JBL Initiative and Donna.