The Bobby Bones Show - Episode #5: A Brush with Fame

Episode Date: June 5, 2019

Avery Thompson is a funny, heartfelt and eccentric filmmaker and radio producer who has done almost every job under the sun. Like many 20 year-olds, he had big plans of what he was going to do with his life – he was determined to be the next Orson Welles. Unable to find someone to fund his creative endeavors and a portfolio of nothing more than a few zany student films, Avery took a summer job with a landscaping company in the Hamptons, determined he would meet the right people to eventually help him land his dream job in film. Surely Jerry Seinfeld would need a new walkway! Or Robert Deniro would need his roses cut! As the weeks went on, toiling away under the hot sun, Avery received the worst project he could think of – paint a fence in between overgrown holly bushes. But then a hilarious and chance run-in with Steven Spielberg helped set Avery on the path to what he was destined to do. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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On the job is brought to you by Express Employment Professionals. Express Employment Professionals is a leading staffing provider that employs nearly 600,000 people annually across more than 800 franchise locations in the U.S., Canada, and South Africa. Our long-term goal is at the heart of our company's mission. To help as many people as possible find good jobs by helping as many clients as possible find good people.

It takes more than just online searches to land a job. It takes real people who will identify your talents, a person invested in your success. Express Employment Professionals understands what it takes to land a new position at a top employer, or start a new career in today's job market. Express knows jobs. Get to know Express. Go to Expressprose.com. Welcome to On the Job. This season, we're bringing you stories about people finding their professional stride by virtue of who they know, whether it's breathing new life into an age-old

profession, taking the reins in a family business, forging your own path with a new idea, or landing the perfect job doing something you'd never before even considered. Avery Thompson grew up in Long Island. Today he's a writer and radio producer, but his past is fraught with jobs that span the globe and made him into the person he is today. He was a ski lift operator in Colorado, a line cook in Zurich.

He's bailed hay in New Hampshire. Today, a story from his early life as he pursued his dream of being a filmmaker. Like most 20-year-olds, I had delusions of grandeur. My particular delusion was that I was going to be a film director. And not just any film director, I wanted to be the next Orson Welles. But with little to show besides some zany, no-budget student films, believe it or not,

no studio had yet handed me a blank check. So if I intended to direct my next film, I would need to fund it with my own money. In other words, I needed a summer job. I quit golf caddying after two days. FedEx didn't think I was overnight box order material. To work at the local movie theater would have been too large a slice of humble pie. And so I called my friend Matt, another film buff, and complained about how the world didn't recognize my genius,

how my talents were being squandered looking for a job. Then Matt said, Well, we can work for my brother. He owns a landscaping company in the Hamptons. The Hamptons, I repeated. The following Monday, Matt and I talked about movies for the whole two-hour drive out to the Hamptons. And as the roads gave way to leafy lanes

and mansions rose above tall hedges, I knew we were exactly where I needed to be. Here were the people that would change my life. These people had taste. They had class, connections, but most importantly, they had the money I needed to direct my masterpiece. I could already see myself smoking a cigar and yelling action.

So you can imagine my shock when we pulled up to a barn and were told by Matt's brother to get in the back of a pickup truck with a bunch of weather-worn Latino men. For the first few weeks, Matt and I met no celebrities. We attended no parties. We worked like dogs as rich old ladies eyed us suspiciously from curtained windows. We dug trenches.

We built fences. We were told to work faster and talk about Fellini less. And all the while, no one recognized the genius's toiling, in their backyard. No one even brought us lemonade. Despite being the future of filmmaking, Matt and I were being treated like a bunch of day laborers, except by our coworkers,

day laborers, who didn't appreciate these two pale giants, who talked about wide-angle lenses and stopped every now and then to drink water. And worst of all, these co-workers wouldn't take us to lunch with them. Instead, every day on their way to some secret Latin food layer, Matt and I would get dropped off in the village of East Hampton, quite possibly the richest, poshest town in America, where the only thing we could afford was pizza,

and not even good pizza. Because let's face it, wasps don't know how to make pizza. So every day we ate crappy pizza. And let me tell you, For a New Yorker, few things are worse. But one thing sustained me that summer. For all the blisters and backaches, I held out hope that it was only a matter of time

before I met the right people. One day Jerry Seinfeld would need a new walkway, or Robert De Niro would need his roses cut back. And somehow, I figured that would be all it took. But that didn't happen. As the weeks wore on, Matt and I talked to films less and less. We started crying more and more. And just when we thought, it couldn't get any worse, we got the job from hell.

Our task was the paint a quarter-mile fence wedged between two strands of overgrown holly bushes. Now, for those of you that don't know, holly bushes have little prickly thorns. And as a grown man, I don't have a problem, saying that thorns really hurt. So the only way that Matt and I were able to paint this fence without bloodying our backs was the jam a piece of plywood in there, lean against it, and brush just in front of us, which worked some of the time. When it didn't, if we tripped or got a little tired, then the holly bush would shove us

against the fence that we had just painted. And that happened a lot. By lunchtime, Matt and I were covered. in green paint. I mean, covered, head to toe. And when the truck arrived to pick us up for lunch, the Latino guys can't help themselves. They slapped their knees and laughed big,

gold-tooth laughs right in our face. And then they drop us off in the center of East Hampton. We'll get back to the story in a second. First, a word from Express Employment Professionals. A strong work ethic takes pride. and a job well done. This is you. But to get an honest day's work,

you need a callback. You need a job. Express employment professionals can help. We'll connect you to the right company. We're committed to your success and never charge a fee to find you a job. Express knows jobs. Get to know Express.

Find your location at expresspros.com or on the Express Jobs app. And now back to our story. Before we can even climb out of the truck, people were staring. Not that I blame them. We were two life-sized GI Joe figures. And as such, our mission was to reach the public restroom to wash this paint off. Except when we get there, the paint doesn't come off.

And I want to reiterate, we are covered. Matt, who is 6'4, bore an uncanny resemblance to the Jolly Green Giant. I looked more like Gumbie. So Matt called his brother, who informed us that paint thinner would take it right off. But we were on Main Street in East Hampton, whose shops weren't exactly stocked with paint thinner. So then Matt's brother says the gasoline would do the trick. Yeah, gasoline. So Gumbie and the Jolly Green Giant go walking through a living J. crew catalog in search of a gas station.

Let me tell you, being laughed at by a bunch of our day labor coworkers was one thing. But to be laughed at by people wearing boat shoes and pastel pants, that's a pain that sticks with you. After a few blocks, Matt and I find a gas station. And then we start rummaging through the garbage. Because, obviously, we need something to put the gasoline in. We find an empty Gatorade bottle beneath a rotten sandwich. and then pump 30 cents of gas into it. And then we pour the gas all over us.

And I know what you're thinking. That's not a good idea. But this story doesn't end with self-immolation. Well, not literally. Because as Matt and I stand in this parking lot, our bodies covered in a toxic smear of gasoline and paint, one of the most beautiful cars I have ever seen pulls up beside us and we look up to see a familiar face

gray beard round glasses I'd know that face anywhere that's that's Stephen Stephen Matt yells at Stephen Spielberg and Matt who now resembles the creature from the black lagoon starts running toward the car and screaming at him.

Stephen, Stephen! Now I don't know if Stephen Spielberg saw us or not, but I do know that he didn't stop. He kept right on going. But Stephen didn't go far, because down the street we see his brake lights come on. Come on, Matt shouts, running back to the pump for more gas. Pump more gas, Stephen's getting pizza.

We can catch him. But I don't. I may have been only 20, but that summer I learned that no amount of gasoline would help Steven Spielberg or anyone else see through to the genius underneath. Instead, I walked over to the little convenience store attached to the gas station,

bought a Snickers bar for my lunch, and I decided, screw movies. I'm going to be a writer instead. This piece was written by Avery Thompson and produced by me, Otis Gray. You can find more of Avery's work at AveryH Thompson.com. We'll have a link over on our website, expressprose.com slash podcast. Thanks for listening to On the Job.

Brought to you by Express Employment Professionals. Find out more at ExpressPros.com. This season of On the Job is produced by Audiation and Red Seat Fentures. Our executive producer is Sandy Smallins. Our producer is Otis Gray. The show is mixed by Matt Noble at the loft in Bronxville, New York. Find us on IHeart Radio and Apple Podcasts. If you liked what you heard, please consider rating or reviewing the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen.

We'll see you next time for more inspiring stories about discovering your life's work. Service opens doors. And at American Military University, it can open doors for the whole family. If you have a loved one who served in the military, you may qualify for reduced tuition. AMU offers flexible online programs designed to fit your schedule so you can keep moving forward wherever life takes you. Learn more at AMU. APUS.edus.edu slash military. Open doors to the future for you and your family with the help of American Military University. That's AMU. APUS.edu slash military.

Make every day Phil Epic in the all-new Hyundai Palisade hybrid. The Palisade Hybrid is packed full of features, cutting-edge tech, and up to an EPA estimated 619 miles of range on select trims and class-leading interior space. Seating configurations for 7-8 passengers, available H-track all-wheel drive, so you can be ready to go anywhere in style.

Learn more about the Hyundai Palisade at Hyundai USA.com. Call 562-314-4603 for complete details. And now for a bit of breaking news between your breaking news, with me, the Gecko. Here are some things you ought to know today. People have switched their car insurance to Geico save about $900 a year. Experts are calling that nice to know. Also, plants can hear when bees buzz.

My phycus just heard that. And finally, animal experts have confirmed that goats have regional accents. I'm getting a hint of Irish that. It feels good to get good news. It feels good to Geico. The Disneyland Resort is everything. We came to play the Calli Way. It felt like I was in the round-up game with Woody and Pixar Piers.

Have you been holding out on us? No, just showing you where the real Hollywood stars are. Like Tiana's Bayou Adventure. Oh, there's jazz, right? And a drop. You'll see. Grab a Mickey Brussels on the way. Girl, you'll read in my mind.

We're almost there. Disney California Adventure Park and Disneyland Park. We came to play. Part tickets and reservations requires subject to restrictions change and cancellation without notice. Visit Disneyland.com for details. This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed human.