The Bobby Bones Show - FEELING THINGS - 6 People Who Quietly Drain Your Energy, Over-Apologizing & Semen Jewelry (Yes, Really)

Episode Date: July 31, 2026

We’re breaking down the 6 types of people quietly draining your energy: the Constant Critic, the Guilt Tripper, the Fake Supporter, and more. We also cover the "survival strategy" behaviors you didn't realize were trauma responses in disguise (over-apologizing, we're looking at you). Plus, we get into Enneagram Types 7, 8, and 9, unpack the very real "Crush Recession" hitting the dating world (53% of singles report burnout, and we have thoughts), and yes, we talk about the semen jewelry trend that is freaking us out. There's also a Honey-Do Hack, a Wait to Worry segment and Kat watched two documentaries on Netflix: Shipwrecked & Toxic Love Story. Get some Feeling Things merch by clicking HERE! (FeelingThingsPodcast.com) Sign up for the Feeling Things newsletter HERE! Watch us on Youtube HERE! Find us on TikTok: @radioamy Call and leave a voicemail: 877-207-2077 Email: [e-mail] HOSTS: Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy Kat Van Buren // threecordstherapy.com // @KatVanburenSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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This is Feeling Things with Amy and Kat. Happy Tuesday. Welcome to Feeling Things. I'm Amy. And I'm playing around with intros? I don't know. Okay. Just Amy. I am feeling curious. Okay.

And that has to do with something else that's going on to my house with my furniture. But before we started recording, Kat was going to diagnose me with some sort of disorder. Because I was feeling a little scattered about my furniture at my house, playing musical chairs, moving some stuff around. Like one room not feeling complete. So then I'll, you know, rob Peter to pay Paul. And then Peter's like, ah, I'm missing a chair. So I feel a little scattered, but now I'm curious as to what you're trying to diagnose me with. Well, okay.

I wasn't, I don't know that I'm really trying to diagnose you. I just was kind of joking and I was like, what's the disorder where you can't just relax in your house and have it be done? Because I'm not even making this up. I told you this. Yesterday, it could have actually been this morning, but I think it was yesterday. I was talking to Patrick because we're doing a room in our house, a nursery, and it's making me put pause on all these other projects. And I was talking to Patrick about how I want our house to look.

And I was like, well, Amy's house just is perfect. Well, I think that's. Like it looks perfect. Not accurate, but thank you. And it's all like, it all goes. In my, this is my opinion. Okay. Which I don't sit here and look at everything every day.

but like everything flows and goes and but like doesn't go because I don't want matchy-matching right right but like it that is a skill to be able to buy things that go that don't go so difficult like I'm struggling in a nursery with different furniture pieces because I'm like I'm buying them all in the same color and then they go too much that they don't go you know I'm out of breath talking So I might have some sort of disorder where I need a project all the time. And then I looked at you and I was like, whatever, I haven't done anything since we went to Arizona and I had my laundry room clothes done. Yeah. But really, before that, it's been a minute.

Yeah. And then now I'm going to maybe move full steam ahead on a couple of projects that are an investment in my home. Yeah. I think it's just interesting for me because I'm like, I want this to look just like this. you're like, no, I want to change this. So to me, something's like perfect, but to you, you're like, no, different strokes for different folks kind of thing. But I don't really like where you put your chairs. No, I'm not going to leave those there.

I just needed them off the wall because they were up against the wall and their chairs you can spin around in. And what I've learned, I think, is those chairs are too big for the space. So I don't know what I'm going to do with them, but where they were, you can't spin around in them. And I want to be able to sit in those chairs and twirl around. What's going on over there? Oh, what did you say? And I turn it. What's going on?

Oh, what? What? Oh, you want to sit by the fire? Spin around. But where they were up against the wall, which I love them, they're these green leather chairs and they're under this smoking goat picture. It's really cool. I don't know what kind of animal it is, actually.

It's not a goat. Is it a deer? It looks like a deer. Maybe it's an antelope. Maybe it's a smoking antelope or something. And the chairs are under it. It looks really cute. But then you're like, it's almost like the chairs aren't getting to be what they're meant to be.

It'd be like, if we're in a straight jacket and we can't go anywhere. These chairs are like, we were born to move. And we're like, we can't do anything. So I need to move them. Maybe they need to move rooms. That's what I'm saying. I might move my living room couch to the game room and then the game room, couch to the Facebook marketplace. And then the green chairs maybe could go up there, maybe not.

Do the green chairs go into my bedroom? Maybe. Then I can spin all around in there. You have a little sitting room in your bedroom. Yeah, I'll be like, do I want to see what's to the left in my room, to the right, out the window? And I can spin around. I have more freedom. Yeah.

But then I have chairs in my bedroom. Where do those go? So you see how this becomes a musical chair. Maybe the chairs in my bedroom go better in the living room. but not with the current couch. That's the disorder I have. Yeah. Where like I would have just kept him against the wall.

But I get the problem. I get it. And I, Stevenson and I were moving all this furniture around ourselves this weekend. And props to him, he's been doing a conditioning class for cross country where he's lifting weights and it is paying off. I now have my little helper.

Because what I really need is a honey to do my honey-do list. Okay. And I don't have a honey right now. But if I had a honey, I would do that honey-dew hack that you see people post about online where they're like, just tell your man that you're having people over and give him a to-do list because they love to check off a list before companies coming over and have them tackle everything. And they'd be like, oh, it's canceled. Nobody's coming. But then the honey-do list is done.

So I need a honey-do list. Well, you said you wanted to start lifting weights. Yeah, I lifted a lot this weekend in my furniture. Yeah. I don't know that that hack would work for me. I think my husband would be like, it's fine. My friends don't care. Oh, really?

Unless it was like we're hosting like an actual, I don't know, like a party of sorts. That's what I mean. But like, when are we doing? We're putting on a party. We're having people over. Then he'd be like, we've got to go to Costco and get some stuff. Okay, well, then you got snacks for days too. You are pre-pay.

So that's the honey-do hack. Okay. If you have a honey. If not, you have to like convince yourself. I'm having a party. I'm having people over even though you're not. Yeah. And then you're like, I need to act as if because nothing whips me into shape around my house than company.

If I know people are coming over, like a hosting a thing, not just a friend stopping by. There are some people. I don't know what disorder that is, but if one person is coming by, like they have to have everything perfect. I'm not like that. But if I'm having people over, I want to have it. Your house is always clean that. Where I see. It's a little.

I was just out there in between us filming a couple of things. I was trying to tidy some things up. Right now it's things are in random places because you've been moving things. But I think your version of your house not in order and my version of my house in order are the same thing. I'm sure my type of energy around the house is probably an energy suck because I can be a little. particular. Yeah. But I'm not like my sister.

Because listen to this. This is where I then I'm like, no, no, I'm normal. Because my sister will get out of tape measure. And measure her curtains from the wall. But what? That sounds normal. Not to hang her curtains when she's opening them. Oh.

Yes, of course when you're hanging them. I'm saying when she's tidying her house, she might. And I'm not saying she does this every time. She's just been known to like if she's opening the curtains and she wants some fluffed and positioned just right. You know, she might measure that. Well, okay. I'm going to give her the grace because she's like a designer. I mean, she is.

Yeah. Some of it has to do with her trying to control a situation. Would she agree to that? I think, yes. I'm repeating what I've heard from her. And maybe she's chillax a little because they have people in and out of their house. all the time. Did you just say maybe

did you just yeah I said chillax is that not a thing? Why did you? Chillaxed. Wait Is that not a word?

I've never heard you say it. Relaxed. I'm sorry it's not that funny but it's combining like chilled and relaxed. I know chilled and relaxed. Yeah, I get that.

I just was shocked that that that's, the word you chose it just doesn't seem like it's I thought it was very fitting for that. Like it was part of your normal vocabulary versus I think the only ever time I would think you would say that would be kind of like a joke.

I'm sorry. That has caught me off card. Now my eyes are watering. Okay, maybe she's relaxed. I think normally you would say maybe she's relaxed a little, but you just threw that in there. Maybe she has. And then brushed past it.

You could use that word. Sorry. Sorry. I don't want you to be self-conscious. She has calm. Maybe she has calmed down a little bit on that area. Yeah. Shanna just looked up.

Chillax originated in 1994. And you've been using it ever since. So I don't know. That's just the word that came to me. Yeah. So I'm not like her in that. I almost wish I was with some of her design stuff because then things we positioned in the right way, I really could channel some of that energy. Because here's what

would happen. Right now, you see how I move things around my living room and it's like, nothing makes sense. If she were to come over and move things around, I would be like, what? I never thought in every scenario to put that chair right there. Or not even that, to put that tiny drink dropper right there, because that's changing everything. And you know, I love a good drink dropper. Yeah. I bought the same drink dropper as you. Oh, guys, we got a drink dropper off Amazon that is so cute. It looks like nothing else that you have. So therefore, it goes.

Yes. I will say, I had a hot glue mine. Yeah, I mean, but it's from Amazon. But it doesn't look like it's from Amazon. No. And it's so easy to assemble. I don't know why you had a hot glue yours, but mine just screwed on. Well, the screw is.

Part of it. Yeah. But my sister-in-law is. like that too where she actually came to my she helped me figure out where to put my drink dropper in my living room and she helped me be like oh you have a lot of circular pieces in here you love circles it seems and i was like i do she's like well it seems like you do because it's every piece of furniture is circular you need to put a square piece right here or you need a rec you need to switch this one circle for a rectangle and it will change the whole space and i'm like i never would have thought that

because I picked out some circular side table, so I was going to go pick up, and she said, don't do that. So you need to diversify your shapes. Yes. I'm sure it can be annoying for my kids when I'm wanting to tidy up or keep things clean. Because I feel better, like put in a podcast or an audiobook,

and I just like an energizer bunny and go. Now I will have my piles that are hidden, like most of my closet. And I'll just keep adding to that pile, but at least it's not somewhere else. My closet, I feel like nobody would see, so it's fine. Or I have some closets I'll just throw stuff into. How do you not have like a pile in your kitchen then? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month.

Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell, connection is everything. How do you not have like a pile in your kitchen? I do sometimes and then I transfer it. Or here's a question. This is an issue I have. We have like a little, it used to be, I think, a desk back in the day.

Our house was built in, I think, the early 2000s. And everybody used to have these little desks in the kitchen. That has become a catch-all. I made it look like a little cute bar, but now it's a catch-all. And it's like mail. It's like car keys. It's random lip gloss. It's a pair of sunglasses.

It's a book that I started and didn't finish. It's whatever, whatever. That doesn't have a home. It just goes there. What do you do? I have a junk drawer. The junk drawer is underneath. Oh.

So the junk drawer is like, you just, you clean out. And I have like a little section, like a door that sometimes with a bowl in there. And the bowl is behind the door, like a cabinet, like a glass. It's originally where I want my espresso machine to go. But anyway, you put it there. that coffee nook and there's a bowl and I just throw stuff in there. So I think it's like having little systems that work for you. Like you could find.

Have you seen the people that have the catch-off for their purse, like a purse insert that's a little bag that makes it easy to transfer all of your purse essentials? Or to your point by the front door or your garage door wherever you're in and out of, you have like a lipstick or lip gloss bowl or a purse bowl or a purse. purse bowl and everything gets dumped into that bowl. That way you just dump it or grab whichever lip gloss you need when you're walking out the door and it just makes life more convenient. I think that that was my intention because I have a plate on that desk, but it's become a

catch-all for other things. Everything, yeah. Which I've been trying to, I'm in the nesting phase, which I feel like you just are a nester, I guess, like you don't go through a phase. but in the nesting days and I didn't really understand that like what do you mean nesting all I want to do is clean out closets in like drawers in my house it's all I want to do and I just want to throw everything in my house away you don't get that why no I get that I've got I've done that or donate or yeah well right I hopefully I'll donate the things that are donateable but I just

am like how did I get this much I just moved just moved. How do I have this much stuff? And from a small house, mind you. Yeah. I think one takeaway from losing both of my parents that I have is when we are able-bodied and young and we need to sift through our stuff, our kids don't need to inherit our stuff. Like checkbooks from the seven my grandmother kept every single what are they called like the register or whatever where you used to balance a checkbook she kept every single one she's ever had so I could go through them and be like this is what she but was buying that might be cool to see maybe for three of them but then they get old yeah she kept every single one so here's here's my issue though

this is my issue because I can get in this like black and white where I can be very nostalgic my mom likes to keep things and i have that part where i'm like what if my daughter wants this one day or yeah what if this would be cool for somebody to look through when i'm dead but then there's the part of me that i want to get rid of everything and then i have nothing for people to like look back on my life so how do you find that balance i mean well okay photos real memories mementos but yeah this one thing that you ordered on amazon that's a piece of junk that you probably shouldn't keep. Are there any of those items? Yeah, but I'm like, clothes sometimes are hard or like purses I think about. So I'm either keeping them all because I'm like, this will be cool when my daughter's

15 to have this vintage purse. But then like also what if it's ugly? But also like what purse do I keep? But how how many purses do you actually have? Is it like a lot? I have a bin of purses, but I only use like two I haven't used them in years. I can help you go through. Maybe. I mean, that might be a thing where you ask a friend like hey can you help me go through these bags you know the last time what happened well that was i wasn't there right so you have to i cannot be lumped in yeah with that the last time i did this i cried with friends with friends but i cried so i need you to be gentle i would be gentle yeah and i would encourage you to keep one keep some of the bags like one of my favorite bags that i carry when i go out is a clutch my mom had from who knows 70s or 80s and i love it and i'm so glad that she

had that but I will say she did have a ton of stuff in her garage in her attic that my sister and I had to sift through that just wasn't you're never gonna you know people have those rules that are like if you haven't worn it in a year get rid of it or if you haven't used it in a year get rid of it but then you know you know as soon as you get rid of it you're gonna be like where is that three centimeter Allen wrench that I just threw away I need one now I have to go to lows and buy one yeah well you could put that in a toolbox Like just have, it's just like for. You're helping me keep stuff.

Well, you might need that. You might need the Allen wrench. So I think it just, I don't know, it can get overwhelming. But when my house is out of order, I feel like the life is getting like sucked out of me. Which, speaking of draining energy, I have the six types of people who will suck out of you. Yeah. What do they call those energy vampires? Drain it right out of you.

The constant critic, the chronic victim. the emotional dumper, the competitor, the fake supporter, and the guilt tripper. Wait, are we going to look and see if we're one of these? Well, I can go through them all in a little more detail. Like the constant critic, nothing is ever good enough. So if you have a critic like that in your life, you should stop seeking their approval because it's not available. And it hasn't been and it likely will not be.

So just know, like, okay, this is who they are. So don't go to them for these things. The chronic victim, life is always happening to them. You can empathize once or twice. And then if you start to see the pattern, you're like, okay, this is just how they're, you don't have to, like, play into it every time. There are also the people that you might want to rescue and find solutions for, but they don't want solutions.

So that's really what drains a lot of your energy. Because they're not speaking the same language. I want to help you. So I'm giving you all these ideas. or whatever, but they want to be, they want to stay there. So that is really, can be frustrating for sure. That's one that I actually, we all play the victim at certain times. We all do that.

But I know we've only gone through two, but I really don't want to be that one. I know. I don't either. And I hope if I am that a friend would let me know that that would be hard or like, hey, you are you, but I know, you're not. That's a fine line. If you have a trusted friend that maybe if you know you tend to go to victim mode quick, you could maybe ask a friend like, hey, I realize this about me that I tend to shift a victim.

You know, recently I asked you, I told you, I was like, I'm trying to be more positive. I feel like I'm always, like, complaining about things. How have I been? Pretty good. Okay. I mean, you don't like where I put my chairs, but. That wasn't me, like, complaining about, like, I know, I'm just joking. And the chairs can't stay there.

I know, but I do like how I could swirl around in them. Right, but they're right under the TV. We'd have to lift her right by the fireplace. So I know it's summer and we're not building a fire. What do you do more often? Stare at the fireplace or watch TV? Yeah, they're not staying there. Don't worry.

I'm just letting you know. I liked being able to spin around them, like I said. What did they say with people that go to victim mode a lot? They speak victimese. I've never heard that. Is that what the people say? That's what I've heard. I don't know if there's anything.

Victimese? Like... Sensitive about that? Victimese. Yeah. Like a language. You speak their own language. Okay.

You speak like victimese. Like every time they talk, they're the victim. What would be intensive of that? I don't know. Because it sounded like another language. Oh. Vietnamese, Chinese, but it's not related to that at all. Victimese.

Yeah. I don't know. I just try to be sensitive to like, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's really nice of you. I think that's okay to say. Okay, thank you. Yeah. I think there's other...

Things that people say, like when people speak Christianese or something like that. There you go. Yeah. See? Okay. Thank you for reminding me. But I haven't heard victimies. Victimies.

The emotional dumper. Always in crisis. Always an emergency happening. You can care for them without carrying the entire weight. The competitor. Your wins are threats, not celebrations. Stop sharing your wins with people who treat them as threats. The fake supporter.

they cheer so loud for you in public, but sabotaged quietly in private. Watch people do when your back is turned. Why are you making that face? Because this sounds like this list. I'm just like, oh, like, yes, these people exist, but it just sounds so harsh. I know. The guilt tripper. This is the last one.

Everything somehow becomes your fault. Their feelings are theirs to carry, so you need to let them. do that. And you know what I think about with some of these people? Like I also, I don't know why I can't speak. Just chillax. Maybe you'll be able to speak. I instantly think of friendships. Yeah. But you know there are people where this is a mom. This is a dad. This is a sibling. This is a spouse. I was thinking more at coworkers. Like or a colleague or a boss or a coworker. Maybe someone who's a little more distant. Yeah.

But some people have to live. This is their mother. Yeah. I was talking about this with a friend who had somebody in her life that it's like a mom-daughter relationship that it feels like they're living their life through their children. So there's a lot of the like, yeah, the competition and also emotional dumping. So yeah, it's easier if it's a friend. Yeah.

Because I can create some boundaries and I can separate myself. It's honestly easier if it's a coworker. I might not work at this job forever. But if it's a mom or sister and you don't want to sever that relationship, then it's like how do I learn how to live with these people in my life? Well, and that's when we pick up, like if you have been around it a lot, we pick up different behaviors that seem sort of normal. Yeah.

But then they are actually survival strategies for us. and some of those behaviors that may see normal. And again, these are actually can be normal behaviors. Some of the stuff I'm going to list, you might do, and it doesn't mean that this is a survival strategy for you. It doesn't mean that your mom is a competitor. Right. Or a guilt tripper or chronic victimhood in your house.

Being easygoing all the time. Someone that might be their survival strategy. So they don't ever speak up and say, what they want to do or share their side of things over apologizing always being the peacemaker over explaining yourself that's something that i used to do a lot but i've worked on it brushing off compliments never asking for help avoiding confrontation struggling to make decisions reading people's mood before speaking laughing off hurtful comments feeling anxious when things feel too good and replaying conversations in your head. Those behaviors can be very normal and also

they can be survival strategies. They can get in the way. As you started reading this, I started thinking about the aneogram because I was just thinking about, I think I'm a seven. You're a seven, right? I feel like you are. You're such a good time. Oh my gosh. That's so nice. Yeah. And you're looking forward to a good time. Well, I think I'm a seven, but sometimes I'm like, my fear is everybody not everybody a lot of people want to be a seven so I'm like I hope that I really am and I am not just like agreeing to these things I'm like yeah being a seven's kind of sick you know because there's also other like I resonate with a six a lot which I just say I'm a seven wing six and I resonate with an eight a lot yeah you know anyway me bringing that up is because as you're

talking about this especially like the first one being really easy going all the time reminds me of a nine which they're the peacemaker my sister's a nine and some of hers is a survival strategy yeah and so there's these like what what you have to keep bringing up all my sister stuff sorry hey christie i'm like you and your sister need to talk no she would say she would say any of this but it just came to my mind but the the nine is a peacemaker and how you how you develop if you're not familiar with anagram it's just like a personality hyping system. It's very helpful. It's very interesting. You say it. Well, I should have thought about how, because she's so easy going.

You bring up your sister again? Well, because when you say that, I'm like, okay, yeah, she's a peacemaker and she's so easy going. And I think that's why she measures the freaking curtains. Oh, it's where she's like nine wing one or something. No, with like all the situation, she keeps quiet. So she's going to go over and measure the curtain to the couch and make the couch is in the right spot and the curtains are pulled back to the right spot because that part she can control without ruffling anybody else's feathers that yeah that's her own stuff versus that impacts you're picking up all yeah what have people do is that is that is that the fingers they do clock it that's what it is what finger is it i don't know i maybe chillax

Sorry, I only know cool things from 1994, but I think in 2026 there was saying, But what finger is it? It's in that. It's this one. You were doing it right. Clock it. Okay. Cool.

Okay. Back to what I was saying. Okay. The, how you develop your type is like how your personality develops is based on one, part of it's your temperament. You're born with some parts of yourselves that are innate, but then your environment. And so I'm reacting to the environment. And these are the things that help. I develop these traits in order to survive in the world and get through the world. Some of those traits are great. And they're going to be part of your personality forever and

they're wonderful. Part of those traits get in the way. And so when you said like some of these things can be normal too. It doesn't mean anything. Well, some of these traits also don't need to be shifted. So I think when we think about, a lot of times when you think about this is why I am the way I am, it feels like if it started because of, you know, there being chaos in my family, well, then I must, I need to change that because it started because of something not great. But not necessarily. Some of those things might be working for you. It's only if those things are impacting the quality of your life and your relationships, do we really need to shift them. And I say that because I think some Sometimes we get too hard on ourselves and we want to like better ourselves and continue to change.

And if I have these traits, I need to shift them and I need to be my best self. And sometimes, well, no, all the times. Our best selves include things that aren't perfect, our little quirks and the way we get a, it makes us who we are. So, yes, if your sister is not able to communicate with people and she is not able to get her needs met because she's being a peacemaker and that's then why she's measuring curtains, I want her to look at that. stuff. But if she just measure, if the measuring in the curtains isn't really impacting her life in a negative way, then like, go off. You know, clock it. Cluck it. Measure the curtains. Well, my over explaining, I can't remember what my therapist said that was about me. I can't, I was, I was, been saying you're trying to think of the root of where that came from. Possibly. I think there

was a little more to it, but I, but I realize what I'm doing and I try to dial back. Like, I'll type something out if I'm texting someone. They'll be like, okay, are all of these words necessary? Like, I don't think I need to do all of this. So I'll shorten it and dial it back. And it gives you some anxiety about like you can't, you almost can't like say what you want to say because you're so worried about how they're going to interpret it. So that impacts you. But if you I think, well, you finish your thought. Oh, no. Do you agree with it? I said or is that was that not? Okay. I agree with what you said and then I had a thought of what my therapist said because it just came, I've been trying to remember. And I know she said something about me wanting to

control outcomes. Yeah. And if I over explain, that helps me control how you're how the outcome and how I'm perceived and how the other person is going to respond instead of surrendering that to the other person. So some of that was some codependent behavior. But I wasn't okay. with just like not knowing how someone might receive something. I want to make sure they have all of the details so they can know exactly where I'm coming from. And it's like, that's exhausting. Get Bell, Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month.

Price guaranteed for two years on Internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.com for details and to check availability. Bell. Connection is everything. Hi, I'm Bob Pipman, chairman and CEO of IHeartMedia. I also led the team that created MTV, and my co-founders and I are celebrating MTV's 45th anniversary this month. On my podcast, Math and Magic, stories from the Frontiers of Marketing, you'll hear the untold origin story from the people who built MTV from the ground up. Those are powerful words, my, something for me that felt like mine and want.

What a powerful word. Listen to math and magic, stories from the frontiers of marketing on the IHeart radio app, Apple podcast, or whatever you get your podcast. What's up, fam? I'm sports journalist Ari Chambers. Hey, what's up, y'all? It's your girl, Sam J. And we're the host of everyone watches women's sports, a new podcast from Together and Iheart women's sports. Because let's be real.

Women's sports is giving us way too much to talk about these days. So Kelsey Finler, she became the first female solo rower to go from California. to Hawaii. My first thought is, like, what's up with the snacks? Like, what are we eating? The highlights, the rivalries, the breakout stars, the moments that take over your entire timeline. And the conversations that start during the game and somehow keep going all week.

Every week, we're breaking down the biggest stories across women's sports. Naomi Osaka, showing out, she beat Sabalinka. Shout out to you, Naomi. You get the palm, Naomi. You get the palm for that. Because we're not just interested in what happened. We're interested in why everyone's talking about it. Because everyone watches women's sports.

Listen to everyone watches women's sports on the IHeart radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Hey, Portlandia fans. Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here. You know us or rather you know them. Tony and Candice, Nina and Lance, Spike, and yes, the chicken. We've played a lot of iconic characters over the years, but today we're showing up as ourselves to tell you about Podlandia, AEO rewatch, our brand new podcast. Each week, we'll revisit an episode of Portlandia from the very beginning. Breaking down the sketches, exploring the backstories of our most iconic characters,

revisiting the Portland locations you know and love, and opening up about our creative process. How did any of this get made? Why do we think that was a good idea? We're ready to talk about it. And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Chrysler, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin,

legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more. Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvised, not just words, but a song, a melody. I thought he was going to write. I thought you're all going to write a song. I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia. Ayo, rewatch on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Remember when we worked on that clear as kind and we can just make it short and sweet? Yeah. Sure do. Sure do. And as you've done that, not everybody has received exactly what you want them to receive. but you're saving yourself. Yes. Well, and it's not always, I mean, there's sometimes where it's like there's conflict and that

needs to be done. But sometimes it might just be in like a simple explanation to you where you've even noticed like that I've gotten better at it or I don't know. You correct me if I'm wrong. But maybe you've called me out like, well, you didn't need to say all of that or something. I think you've said. Well, you still do this sometimes in like. What was it last week you texted me all of these texts?

And then you were like, never mind. Oh, yeah. I processed in real time. Yeah. So it's not that I over, I didn't over, I didn't sound like a whole paragraph of like all these random thoughts is I, I texted you too quickly. What was it about? About a video. Oh.

And I sent you like a sentence or two. And then I sent another sentence. And then I was like, okay, wait, never mind. It's actually really good. And then I was like, the more that I think about it, ignore me. And so what I wish is that I just would have been more patient and not sent that right away. So that wasn't really me over explaining. But it was me in real time catching myself.

Okay. But I didn't get to the text until they're all there. You saw the processing of like me being like, oh, this might need to change. And then it's like, never mind. Loss alarm. Well, I think it was because I did. we had agreed on something then I changed it. Yeah, yeah, that threw me off.

Yes. And you were like, that was, you go, that wasn't even an option. But that's not how my, that's so funny because it was on text and written and you just said it back. That wasn't even an option. And that's not how I texted it. That's how I really. My tone was like, oh, oh, that wasn't even an option. That, you know, do you still?

You're like, I thought we agreed on this and that wasn't even an option. and just confused. Yeah. With kindness. Confused with kindness. And then turns out after I took a beat and clocked it. Yeah. And I relaxed a little bit.

I was like, oh, yeah. This is actually better. So it probably was an option because you hadn't thought of that yet. And it was the best option. See. And you also have creative control to do that. Like I was in a, what you do? Thank you.

Well, sometimes. We have different, me and Amy have different strengths. Yeah. And I'm the first to say, my strength is not marketing. My strength is not. I don't think my strength is creativity. Oh, I think you're creative. I don't think my strength, in different ways.

Okay. My strength is not knowing what will do well on social media. My strength is I can do something. I can get something done. And I can not overthink something like that. But because you have a lot of information and you're better at that stuff, you overthink more where I'm like, this is fine. Well, thank you for the compliment.

I don't think I'm better at that. And I think it's a, everyone out there is just throwing stuff and seeing what sticks. Like I don't know that there is a method. I don't think you give yourself enough credit for knowing what is a good clip to pull or not. Am I being a victim? A little, no, I just think that maybe you need encouragement to know that like you mostly pick all of our clips and they do well.

So I want you to acknowledge that. I would say 99% of our clips are ones you've watched and been like, okay, I'm going to clip that. Not cluck it, clip it, clip it. But it's hard to do. Yeah. I know. Thanks. I didn't really say that to get a compliment.

I was really saying, like, we have different strengths. And so sometimes when we're communicating, stuff like that happens. Because I usually rely on you to do what I had done on my own. And it probably shocked you. Yeah. I think that's all it was. Yeah. Anyway, we're still friends.

We're still friends. It's a little inside baseball there for people. You're going to love this because this is just for you because I know how much you love questions that don't come up, which is a segment you came up. Yes. I love when you have a question that doesn't come up. I'm ready. So look at you, segment creator. Yeah.

See? What other segments do we have? I think that's our only segment. No, we have feeling of the day. Oh. No, we have feeling of the day. We have questions that don't come up. We have emails.

We used to have email of the day. We have voicemails. Yeah, but that's not segments. That's a whole episode. Yeah, but do we have other segments? There's no more segments. This is something I want to do. This is maybe like some homework for us.

I want to have more like segments. Like maybe it's like. In radio we call them benchmarks. Okay. Let's have more benchmarks where it's like every, I don't know, first of the month we have a science fact. I don't know. I couldn't think of one,

but like we do something and it's like, yeah. Oh, wait, I just saw this text from Chase. I'm not sure. I won't speak too soon. But potentially if something goes through that he's working on for us, we might have a benchmark,

like giveaway segment. Yeah. Where, and we're trying to figure out who that might be too, but it might be to teachers, single moms, military, but that'll be potentially an eight-week benchmark. I have to clock something. Clock it?

Shannon just came up with this. This actually is a good idea. Oh, yeah. Well, we kind of done it before. I just read that she typed in the dock. We have done this before? Well, we haven't done it. We had it in the newsletter.

And then also I had to file for the trademark. So yes, we made it as if we have done it before. Okay. Well, I want to do. maybe like that can be emails that people send in like if you have a wait we didn't even say what it was if you have a wait to worry story a story where you really were anxious or kind of were not relaxing about something and then it worked out or something like that happened send it to us and that can be like our monthly wait to worry proof and then it shows it's proof that waiting to worry

works yes yeah okay I like it good job Nice, Shannon. Because especially we did trademark way to worry. As its own little segment. Or saying? Same. Yeah. And it's mostly, so my ex-boyfriend's dad said that to him, and then he said it to me when it came to something.

And then his dad is a trademark lawyer. So he filed all the paperwork for us, and then we had to do a bunch of things with it. And I was like, oh, well, now look at us. We're going to be putting it to use. Wait. I like that. to worry segment and it all just poop happened here organically. So we have our wait to worry segment.

We may have our giveaway segment coming up. We've got our feeling of the day and we have questions that don't come up. I'm ready. Okay. Would you ever wear? Seamin jewelry. Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave Netflix and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit.

Visit bell.com for details and to check a availability. Bell. Connection is everything. Hi, I'm Bob Pipman, chairman and CEO of IHeartMedia. I also led the team that created MTV, and my co-founders and I are celebrating MTV's 45th anniversary this month. On my podcast, Math and Magic, stories from the Frontiers of Marketing, you'll hear the untold origin story from the people who built MTV from the ground up. I want my MTV! Those are powerful words, my. Something for me that felt like mine, and want. What a powerful word. Listen to math and magic, stories from the frontiers of marketing on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcast, or whatever you get your podcast.

What's up, fam? I'm sports journalist Ari Chambers. Hey, what's up, y'all? It's your girl, Sam Jay. And we're the host of everyone watches women's sports, a new podcast from Together and Iheart women's sports. Because let's be real. Women's sports is giving us way too much to talk about these days. So Kelsey Finler, she became the first female solo rower to go. from California to Hawaii? My first thought is, like, what's up with the snacks? Like, what are we eating?

The highlights, the rivalries, the breakout stars, the moments that take over your entire timeline. And the conversations that start during the game and somehow keep going all week. Every week, we're breaking down the biggest stories across women's sports. Naomi Osaka showing out, she beat Sabalinka. Shout out to you, Naomi.

You get the palm, Naomi. You get the palm for that. Because we're not just interested in what happened. We're interested in why everyone's talking about it. Because everyone watches women's sports. Listen to everyone watches women's sports. On the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hey, Portlandia fans.

Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here. You know us, or rather, you know them. Tony and Candice, Nina and Lance, Spike, and yes, the chicken. We've played a lot of iconic characters over the years, but today we're showing up as ourselves to tell you about Podlandia, AEO, rewatch, our brand new podcast. Each week, we'll revisit an episode of Portlandia from the very beginning. Breaking down the sketches, exploring the backstories of our most iconic characters,

revisiting the Portland locations you know and love, and opening up about our creative process. How did any of this get made? Why do we think that was a good idea? We're ready to talk about it. And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Chrysall, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more. Kyle is going for it here.

You fully improvised, not just words, but a song. I thought he was going to write. I thought you're all going to write a song. I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia. Ayo, rewatch on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Would you ever wear semen jewelry? No.

Do you know what it is? Well, my question that doesn't come up is, how do you make semen jewelry? I don't. Is it like semen? Is it semen in a capsule? Yeah. So there's this woman. She popped up in my algorithm where she makes necklaces and bracelets.

She takes the contribution from the man and turns it into a powder. Do you see? I wonder how that's done. Freeze dry it maybe or something. And then it's turned into a powder. and mixed into clay and then she forms it into a piece of jewelry. That's watching her do it right now. Wait, I thought it would the powder maybe be in a capsule.

It's like, it's touching me. Her, she's trinkets by Amanda Booth. In case anybody gets interested in this. First of all, why is your algorithm? I don't, exactly. Exactly. I'm sorry. I don't know.

I don't know. Would you wear this? No. Ew. But that's why I was wondering if you would. because you get real sentimental. Okay. Like, Patrick, you would,

I'm not saving his. You're obsessed with Patrick. Fair. I'm obsessed with my husband. I'm not wearing his semen. Mm-hmm. And the fact that you would even consider that I would is offensive. And you are being a fake supporter.

I don't know. I was trying to fit one of those things in, but what? There's a fake supporter. Well, I was just trying to pick one of those sucking things that you were talking about. Oh, no. Energy Suggers. There is a company also, in addition to her, that makes it that's called jizzlery. Is this company profitable?

I don't know. But it must be in demand enough to where people have, there's the, there's the, I don't believe that. I can't. Booth girl, there's jizzlery. I mean, it must be a thing. There's a market. I mean, my mind is blown that women are having jewelry made out of this.

Okay. I want to be open. Okay. Not for, I don't want to wear this, but I need to know a scenario in which this would be the sentimental thing somebody chooses. Like, maybe, maybe they are, have testicular cancer and they're about to get their. And it's like their last. Semen. There's removed.

Okay. Okay. And so they want to save a little bit of the last? Yes. Hurrah. Or maybe they are being proactive in case that happens. So, okay, okay. There can't be that many of those people out there that want to make it into jewelry.

I don't even have anybody to, I'm not really not. expensive too yeah well i think it depends on who you go to but yeah the whole process they are they're handling that stuff and then drying it out and then forming it into a custom piece of jewelry for you what's the like trajectory to become that person like that makes that like you just start as a normal jewelry maker and you're like i want a niche market to drum up business um yeah like i want to know the origin story yeah of these people i mean that they're really really has a market for everything you think about it and this is what i have to tell myself not everything that you see on the internet is working out like you it looks like it you know like like like the businesses

yeah like how many how many orders did she get a day not that i want to wish bad business on her i hope that she might make other types of jewelry too this is just just well jizzerry doesn't it well they have a whole system. You can pick your piece, receive your collection kit, make your contribution, you send it back, and then they work the magic according to their website. It's a three-week turnaround. What would you do if for an anniversary, Valentine's Day, Christmas, what have you, you got a piece of jizzlery? A bracelet. I can't decide if I would be roast out. But it was cute. or it would be hilarious? What if it was cute?

Would you wear it? I mean, maybe. Now you're talking like if I was dating somebody or my husband, whatever, gave me that. I would need to know his intent. Like, if it was to be hilarious, like, that could be kind of funny. And then you would wear it. Yeah. And then people are like, where did you get that?

And I'd be like, jizzlery. Jisory.com. We have to stop saying that. I feel like people are going to be like gagging. but I think I would be okay what if he but if he was serious and it was some sort of like marking my territory thing that would be weird yeah yeah I guess if it was a joke but also is it from the prices that I'm it's expensive joke I beg you we could have gotten something else yeah like you could have bought me something like really nice which speaking of having a partner and being in

relationships. I don't have anybody that's going to be giving me this jewelry, so we're good. But you also were telling me before we sat down to record that there's a crush recession, and I don't know what that means. Yeah, we talked about this a little bit months ago maybe. With dating out fatigue, that was happening. Yeah. And now I saw this new term. Apparently people are saying this, like online. Maybe it's the kids that are saying chill. The kids aren't saying chalks. No, they're saying clock it. Yeah. So there's a crush recession and it basically is along the same lines, but people are getting less likely to like go out and date and getting less excited about dating. Oh, well, you told us about solo maxing. Yes. Yeah. Yes, that must have been what it is. Like that is all,

I think that is becoming a bigger and bigger story and more people are opting. And I hear this as a therapist in my office of people just getting fatigued from whether it's dating apps or going out and trying to date because it's just not working out for them. But I do say it doesn't work out until it does, you know? Right. Which that's also one of the most annoying things to hear if you are in the process because you kind of just gave me a look. Well, I mean, I knew where you were coming from because you went on a lot of bad

dates until you didn't. Yeah. Yeah. And guess what? My husband went on two. He only went on two? He went on, when he got on the dating apps, he went on one date with somebody else, then have a second date, and then me. Oh, wow.

And I said, well, do you want to come over and see my shitty date jar? Because I've been on about 400, so this is really nice for you. I thought you were going to bring that jar one day and we were going to open that boy up. We should. Yeah. Okay. Sorry. You used to remind me.

Okay. That'll be a good idea. Anyway, there was a survey done, 14th annual Singles in America survey, released by the Kinsey Institute, found that 53% of singles reported dating burnout. 46% took breaks from dating to recharge and 63 noticed more passivity in making the first move. So data has also shown that dating app use and marriage rates have been forced. falling. I didn't know that marriage rates have been falling. Falling. So I guess what I'm curious about is what's going to be the next thing because if dating apps are starting to go on like a downtrend, people can improve the dating apps. They do that and they change things about them. But like is there

going to be something else? Like is it going to be in person events? Yeah. Are we going to go back to setting people up? I hope so. I would I would do that if I had people to set up. You know, how cool that would be if you were like at somebody's wedding you're like I did that. Oh, I made that happen. I thought about starting like a dating service at one point in my life. You know, I always have a new idea because I'm like, I feel like I'd be really good at getting stop looking into those eyes. No, what?

My eyes are, I'm intrigued. I've never heard this. Like I'm like, we've been friends for so long and I've never heard you. This is a dream that doesn't come up, you know? Oh, dreams that don't. come up. I love it. So I just think because I, this is me patting myself on my own back. I've never sat anybody up before. I've never. But you're like, I don't have, I'm a batting average is nothing. Because I've never done it before. I've never done it. Never tried. But I'm good at understanding

people's psyches and behaviors and all that. And I feel like I'd be able to come up with the good questionnaires to see who would be good fits with who. So you know how Patty Stanger from Million Dollar Matchmaker? I don't want to be a million dollar matchmaker, but I would love to have a database of singles and then have people, because you could just be a passive, you want to be in the database, but you're not going to like, this is where my business brain was going. You pay like, whatever, $10 to be in the database, but you're not being set up on a date. You're not, I'm not matching you with somebody.

You're just in my group. and then you have the people that are like, I want to find somebody and then you pull from your database and you set people up and then I can give them some, I mean, I would need to be a little bit more trained on this, but then you do some coaching and you do some, I just feel like that would be so fun and I feel like I would be good at it.

So while you were talking about that made me think of this one girl that pops up into my feed every once in a while and her name is Matchmaker Tiffany. And sometimes her videos come up and they always catch my attention. But she doesn't ever show who her client is, but she'll say, hey, ladies, if you're between 35 and 45, listen up. I've got a guy. He lives in California, but he also has a home in Austin. He's back and forth.

He's open to anybody in the United States, though. He loves to travel. He loves dogs. His kids have grown. He's looking to travel, blah, blah, blah. Like she starts saying all these things about him. And he sounds so great. He's six to very fit.

How many comments is she getting? Well, but then I'm like, well, how do you, do you have to then DM her and be like, hey, you want to consider me? Since that's her client, then do we have to become her client too? Or can we be like? I think. Oh, here, I just pulled up her account and it says, Bachelor Alert for Texas and California, this might be the same guy. owns multiple businesses self-aware, gorgeous smile, flexible schedule. Are you into it?

He's hoping to meet a woman between 30 and 45. I'm like, I'm 45. I'm at the top end of that. Oh, he wants her to have flexibility in her schedule. I don't have flexibility in my schedule or my legs. I mean my hamstrings. Yeah, yeah, okay. Not like, where are you going?

I just meant I'm not flexible. Okay. In any area of my life. I mean, my hamstrings are tight. Yeah, they are. Like really tight. Should we take that out? Oh, he also wants her to be curious about life, open-minded, excited to build a real

partnership. He's simply looking for someone who dreams big, embraces growth, and wants a long-term relationship. So I would assume that you don't have to be a client of hers. You would just, like, comment or DM her. Okay, I looked at someone's comment. Okay. My mother just sent me this.

He sounds great and I just filled out the application. Move to Austin from SoCal and love both. So I guess there's an application to fill out because that's what this person says. Yeah. If you are like, I like that guy, you probably go to her website, fill out the app and then she sees if you're a fit. Yeah. Did you ever see that, I think it was like Kelly's Corner or something or Kelly's Singles that was a Nashville thing? where this girl just...

She goes to the park. Does she go to the park and talk to singles? No. Oh, I said that girl. Okay. You know, that park you like? What's it called? McCabe.

Yeah. She goes there. Somebody was telling you about this. Yeah. I haven't seen her and she just goes up to random people. Yeah. They're either random or she might know them, but she'll interview them and ask them what they're looking for.

Like, what's their dating life like? Is she trying to set people up? I don't really know. She's only just popped up in my feet every now and thing in it. But she does a good job because it always gets my attention. Well, this was like a Instagram from this was like seven years ago I don't know if she still does this but you would just apply to be one of her singles I think she did it once a year and she would post

all these people to her Instagram and then you would comment on that if you were interested in that person then you would comment on their picture and be like I want to be set up with this person but I would I was single when she was doing that I would never do that because what if you don't get that many comments yeah oh yeah it's vulnerable to put yourself up. It's very vulnerable. I want, yeah. And then I also don't want to comment on their page because it's like, oh, it feels like

competition, you know? Mm-hmm. So I don't know if I would do it that way, but I wonder how many people, I mean, she did it for years, so it had been working for people. Yeah. So I just think that I could. So, okay, let me tell you what this article that I was reading about crush recession, this is the tips they gave.

And I just feel like my matchmaking might be better than these tips. Okay. Okay. The dips they said are opt for less expensive dates because that was one of the things that was driving fatigue. It's expensive to go on a lot of dates. So they're like, go to the park, go, whatever. Which I do get that. Like if you're trying to like meet a lot of people, you can't be buying somebody dinner or buying drinks or buying whatever three nights a week.

Change your expectations of dating. Don't expect people to be all hyped or amped during dating. There may be some bumps and even some pessimism. So don't fret it if you and a date are not singing Taylor's supposed to. a love story by the end of the night. It's not a bad. Change your goals for dating. Rather than being laser focused on finding the one,

maybe your goal is to simply meet and learn about different people. In the meantime, you might find that right match for you comes in an unexpected package. Which these are all great. I shouldn't have set that up the way I did. These are not bad tips. I agree with all of them. I think we also just need to shake up the dating world. Okay.

Shake it up. You do it, cat, start your business. I'm about to have a baby. You're going to be at home with your baby and you're going to be like, sorry, I can't feed you. I have to set this person up on a date. But also, like, I would love to have a database of people. So when I do meet somebody who's like, I'm like, I wish I could set you up. I'd be like, oh, let me look in my book.

Yes, I think you would have to pay me. I think you would be good at it. I'm going to encourage that. We'll see what is in this next chapter for you. You never know what you might do. And with your therapy background, I do think you would. would know the right questions to ask people. Yeah.

Totally. I need a business partner to financially support me and to help me make business decisions. But what are the finances involved in this up front? Just curious. I just imagine there to be some. What? You just need people. People.

You need people. Well, I probably need to host an event to get people to know about this. Oh, I got it. Okay. So you need to host an event. I'm going to do it. If I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it right. All right.

Do you want to do it? I could help you host an event. You could help me host an event. You could be the host. Yeah. And a candidate. What? And a candidate.

And you kind of would be like the store. And that would be really cool for you because you'd be like, oh, I'm just here because I'm the host. But like, that guy's cute. Yeah. I want to share something that I just saw on Matchmaker Tiffany's page that is a good thing to close on. That's really positive that it has to do with just our behavior in general, whether you're dating or not. we have happily married people that are listening, but you may not know your worth. And she is a matchmaker, so it is leaning to dating, but there might be inconsistency in a lot of your

relationships that you allow. So we're going to end with this little tidbit. Okay. Clock it. People throw around the phrase, know your worth, like it's a mindset. It's not. It's a behavior. Knowing your worth isn't posting a quote.

It's not pretending you don't care. and it's definitely not playing hard to get. It's choosing not to reward inconsistency. It's paying attention to patterns instead of potential. It's letting people reveal who they are before you decide who they are. Most people don't get hurt because they ignored red flags. They get hurt because they explained them away. The right person won't need unlimited access to you to stay interested.

They won't disappear the first time you set a boundary. And they won't expect you to prove your value, before they show you theirs. Stop trying to convince people you're worth choosing. Start paying attention to who's already acting like it. Save this for the next time someone tells you to know your worth but forgets to explain what that actually means. I love that.

That's good. I was watching Logan Yuri. I think that's her name. She was the psychologist for a hinge maybe. She was a behavioral psychologist for hinge. She actually had a dating. She had a dating show called Elder Dating or something like that. It was like a dating.

She was matchmaking older people. I thought it was cute. But she was talking recently on a reel that popped up on my page that was saying, she talks about not lowering your standards. She was like a lot of people like when she's giving her feedback or she's coaching people, she's helping them fine tune what's important to them. And she's like, people will look at me and say, oh, so you want me to lower my standards? Like do not think I'm worth that stuff like that and she's like no I don't want you to lower your standards

This isn't about lowering your standards, but you need to maximize what is important to you and that is a problem. I think we do have insist and I was probably a part of that too like I probably did the same thing Where I want the whole package plus like the gift with purchase situation like I want everything plus more But then you miss out on something that can be very good and you won't ever have I love, I'm obsessed with my husband. I, there are things that if I made a list of everything I wanted in a partner, he wouldn't have all of those things on that. So it's not about lowering my standards because I don't think I'm worthy of that. It's maximizing what I do think I'm worthy of and focusing on that stuff.

If you are a single person, she's a good follow. She has good. She says things well. So what's her name again? Logan Yuri. Okay. Why do I follow her? I don't know if I do follow her.

I might. No, I think I said I need to follow her. I didn't say why. I thought you were like, why do you follow her? I was like, I like what she says. I guess how do you spell her last name? I think it's UR. Y.

Okay. I don't know if I'm saying it correct, but. Array. Luka Nore. Could be an array. Ooh, yeah. Her page, her, what's the thing, bio?

Her bio says, it's time to date smarter. Scientist at Hinge, dating coach at Netflix. Yeah. her book is called How to Not Die Alone. Did you say that? No, but that's a good time.

I guess that'll get you. I don't want to read that book at a bar. That's the bar. That's the book I take to the bar with a glass of wine sitting by myself to see if some man comes up and talks to me. I would recommend you to take the book jacket off of that one if that's what you're. Although it might actually spark conversation if somebody's like, I don't want to die alone either. Oh, I love this on her page. She has the post date eight.

So after a date, you may have a checklist of criteria that you look for. And she's got her post date eight questions. What side of me did they bring out? How did my body feel during the date? Was I stiff or relaxed? Do I feel more energized or de-energized? Like did they suck the life out of me energy-wise? Are they one of the six?

Yeah. Energy suckers? Is there something about them that I'm curious about? Did they make me laugh? Did I feel heard? Did I feel attractive in their presence? and did I feel captivated, bored, or something in between? The post-date 8.

I like those questions. I like the did I feel attractive in their presence? That, I have a lot of, like, follow-up questions to that. That's interesting. Like how you feel, or do you feel, like, self-conscious in their presence? Or do you feel, like, I've never. I know we keep going on and on. I said I was going to close, but I am listening to a book right now,

and she's in an emotionally abusive relationship. But she never knew how to categories is that? Are you already in a new book? Yeah, it's one that I'm just listening to. I didn't even order the physical copy because I was moving my furniture around and cleaning. So I was like, I need something to listen to. It's by Abby Jimenez. And I read them out of order because I ordered yours truly and I read that and it was so good.

I loved it so much that then I got her next book. Wait, what do you mean you read them out of order? Well. Did they go together? They do, but I didn't know it. So I read yours truly and I was like, oh, I should order another one of her books, but I wanted to just get it on Audible and listen to it while I was cleaning my house. And I got the book that was the book that came out before yours truly.

So because stuff in yours truly, I had no idea they were connected, but they are. So about halfway through when I realized they were connected, I already knew how it was going to end because I knew in the second book some of the stuff of how. But it was like different characters. Well, anyway, well, now I'm giving away some stuff if people want to read the book because I wasn't going to give the title. But I've already said the... You're not...

I already said Abby. Well, anyway, she's in an emotionally abusive relationship. And I can't even remember why I was going to bring this up. But it's called Part of Your World. Just read that one first. Read part of your world and then read yours truly. Okay. But just know that...

I mean, you know, there's abuse in the book, she gives a forewarning about what's to come in case, like, a trigger warning. And she, she, like, never knew him treating her that way was emotional abuse. But he was trying to tear her down so that she would feel so insecure that she wouldn't want to leave him. Yeah. So I think why I brought that up was how you feel around someone, like, when, do you feel attractive when you're around them. And how did they pump you up and make you feel like desirable and beautiful and all the things?

Because he was, she was beautiful and desirable or her character is, but he would say things like, have you showered today? But she would have, she would have already taken two showers. And it's like nobody else will love me. Right. So I'm going to stay with this person. Yeah. So he was so consistent with that type of, those types.

comments that she made a doctor's appointment. This is a fictional character, but she made a doctor's appointment to see if there was something wrong with her that was making her smell. And the doctor was like, nope, all your balance, your pH are all good. And you sure, like, you smell fine. Yeah, she, she smelled fine. It was his tactic to abuse her in that way. So anyway, womp, womp, um, there you have it.

Okay. Yeah. I think that's it. Yeah. We're good. All right. We hope wherever you are, you'll have the day. You need to have.

Bye. Bye. Hey, Portlandia fans. Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here. The Dream of the 90s is alive in podcast form. We're launching Podlandia, AEO rewatch, our brand new podcast where we revisit every episode of Portlandia together, breaking down sketches, going deep on our iconic characters, and pulling back the curtain on how it all got made. And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life.

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