The Bobby Bones Show - FEELING THINGS: Rebuilding Self Trust, Placebo Affirmations & Elegant Exits for Difficult Conversations

Episode Date: March 29, 2026

Amy thought she was killing it in Pilates…turns out the praise wasn't just for her. There were 3 Amys in class. Kat is pregnant and the listener calls and emails are already pouring in…including one from a listener who is pregnant at the exact same time. Amy shares 5 small ways to rebuild trust in yourself when you're not sure you can. Plus, Victorian-inspired phrases for dealing with difficult men that are so good you'll want to memorize them. Get some Feeling Things merch by clicking HERE! (FeelingThingsPodcast.com) Sign up for the Feeling Things newsletter HERE! Watch us on Youtube HERE! Call and leave a voicemail: 877-207-2077 Email: [e-mail] HOSTS: Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy Kat Van Buren // threecordstherapy.com // @KatVanburenSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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In the spirit where it tells us. From the real stuff to the chill stuff and the in-between. Sometimes the best thing you can do is just out. And feel things. This is Feeling Things with Amy and Kat. Happy Tuesday. Welcome to Feeling Things. I'm Amy.

And I'm Kat. And I'm ready to just get to the feelings because I know that you have a bone to pick with me. And I don't know what the bone is, but I just want to get through the feelings. And I don't know if that has to do with your feeling or what, but let's show. Okay. Leggo. Okay. So I will say, this is a little taste of your own medicine.

Okay. From when you told me that we needed to discuss something and then left me on red and I was freaking out about it. Right. I just sent you a text because. I needed to talk about something, but it was really not a big deal. Well, neither is this. Okay. Well, what is it?

Okay. Well, I will say my feeling of the day, I have two. I feel very grateful. And that's because of all of the, like, comments and messages and emails we got after I announced my pregnancy, they were so sweet. I was texting you. And I was like, the people that are like, I don't even know you and I'm crying. Aw. Yeah.

That was so sweet. And that meant a lot. So that's my grateful. I am going to use the feeling in, because I'm not, I'm intrigued. I'm intrigued. And this is my bone to pick with you. Okay. We have been talking about, in past couple weeks or so, love is blind.

And I have been suggesting shows for you to watch such as traitors. And you have been very anti-both of these shows. Right. And then I open Instagram and I see that you are watching Age of Attraction. Yes. So how did we get there? Because from my perspective, age of attraction, I could not even click on that. It gave me the ick.

It felt so cringe. Okay. So if you are so uninterested in these wonderful shows such as traitors and love is blind, what got you interested in age of attraction? Well, I was sucked in through an Instagram claim, actually, of this woman and a man, but he's way younger, so a boy. That feels weird. He's a young man.

A young man in his late 20s and a woman in her late 50s. I think I got the same video. So I got this video and they weren't telling us the age of these people. They were just showing that they were having a connection. And it was like, well, how old is she and how old is he? So then I got sucked in because I needed a know. I needed to know the age difference. And so the only way for me to find out is to watch.

Okay. Well, and for people who don't know what we're talking about, age of attraction is a dating show on Netflix. And from my understanding, it's, you just date a bunch of people you don't know what their ages are. And at the end, you tell people. So they bring everybody together and you have to do like these little speed dates or go on these types of dates.

Only one rule. You cannot discuss your age. But like, I think part of my thing was like, you have to know they're like, right. it's kind of obvious Right Yeah Yeah Well so that one particular couple

That I'm talking about Like I won't say their names Are who they are So it's not like It's not like a really spoiling anything It's been all over the internet But

He ended up being Older than her son Than her oldest son Like that would be weird If I was her son I'm younger Hmm How do I say it

Older? He ended up being older than her oldest son. Maybe I said youngest son. That's no, that's good. That's normal. You want the, you want the boyfriend to be older than the kids. Okay. So what's he younger than her kids? Okay. Maybe, maybe you're right. I get it now. I was like, am I hearing this wrong or what's going on? I'm like, what is this, what's wrong with me? Is, can I blame? She goes, that's normal. Okay. But, okay, you're right.

you're right, you're right. Fine. We'll make them the same age, even though one of them's, like, they're a year apart or something. I can't remember, obviously, if he's older or younger, but they're only a year apart. It reminds me of when my dad, his fourth wife, my brother brought a girlfriend to dinner, and my brother's girlfriend was older than my dad's wife. Now, that makes sense, right? Yes, but was his girlfriend a lot older than him? No, not a lot. Your dad's wife was a lot younger. Yeah, like it would have made more sense for my brother to be dating my dad's wife.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wait, so do these people stay together after they find out that ages? I don't know. I don't know. And I'm not going to be that invested in the whole thing. Don't, like, pick too many bones with me about this because it's not like I'm obsessed

with the show or anything. Like, I don't know if there's season two that I'll watch. The finale is tomorrow. The finale is tomorrow. But you watched all the episodes. Yeah. I had it on the back. You know how I watched shows like that?

Like I was doing things. I was computer, like walking in and out. But I watched it enough. But it's interesting because Netflix normally rolls things out all at once. But this has been in... That's how they did Love is Blind. Or it was like three episodes, then two, then two, then one, then one, then whatever. Okay.

So I will say that I think it must be on TikTok. They're posting, Netflix is posting videos of the age reveals. So they're kind of giving spoilers. on TikTok. So I will say this. Shannon looked it up. This particular couple, she's 54 and he's 27 and he's two years younger than her oldest son. So that makes sense. He's two years younger. So if he's 27, she has a son that's 29. And I don't know why that was confusing me to say, I was really doubling down too. I'm like, no. I was like, what am I crazy? I don't know. he should be older.

This show also, did you feel weird about it at any point? No, everybody's, they're all adults. And they surely have to be on, are they on there to find love or they're on there to become Instagram influencers? I don't know. I mean, this guy was a software salesman and she's a stylist.

Well, maybe she wanted more clients and so she went on this Netflix show. Well, if your parents went on this show. I don't know. I mean, maybe it could be fun. Maybe not. You could get a new friend. Yeah. are going to be your age. I will say if it was reversed and like the 54 year old was a man and the 27 year old was a girl, I'd be way more creeped out. Yes.

Well, that does. I think that happened too, right? Sure. But this was the couple that got me to watch the show. Okay. Like this is the couple that, you know, I don't know if it was reversed. I would have been like, yuck, I'm not watching. But instead, I was like intrigued.

I wonder if any couples got together that were like normal. There are two that I. Two that I watched, they seemed relatively the same age. She was definitely younger than him, but not by much. By 30 years. It wasn't anything crazy. Okay. Well, I just needed to talk about that because I was a little offended that you were too good for my shows and then you were watching this.

I know. Well, I am feeling affirmed. Oh. And since I'm struggling with making sense today, this may not make sense at all. but I feel like it's affirmation, but a little bit of the placebo effect. Okay. Okay. Let me explain it to you and then you tell me.

Okay. So I was at Pilates and they were like, you, good job, Amy. And you know, what's my love language? Affirmation. Exactly. So if I get affirmed during class, what do you think that does for me? I'm doing a good job. I'm going to work harder.

Like, yes. I'm a star Pilates princess. Right. I'm going to work. I'm coming back tomorrow. Watch, you thought my form was good there. Watch it now. So then we move on to a different move and they're like, yeah, okay, yes.

Oh, that's it, Amy. And I'm like, okay, I got it again. Then throughout class, I mean, there was three or four times where I got called out. Well, then, you know, they give you wipes at the end of class to you wipe your bed down. And then over by the trash can, you throw away the wipe. Well, normally always on top of the trash can, normally always. I think that's okay Normally always

I think that's contradicting I didn't get any red flags Normally they have this sheet of all the beds and whose name is on each bed so that the instructor knows

so probably so they can call people out and be like good job Amy nice form Amy Ooh looking good Amy Guess how many Amy's were in my class Oh no.

Three. Amy's. So who knows when they were actually shouting me out? They should say like Amy B. Right. Or Amy P. Yeah, but they, no, they left it at Amy. Wait, that's funny.

That instructor's probably like, yes, I only have to think about one name. Right. If I say Amy, I've nailed, you know, most of the class. Yeah, there's 14 beds total. Three of them are Amy. So I was. was really feeling good. And what's crazy is,

why I say placebo is because some of those weren't even for me, but yet I felt. Did you have the urge to walk up to the instructor and say, like, so when you said good job, it was me, right? I think she would have been like, yeah. For sure. And then when I left,

they would say something about me being a weirdo, but. So do you want some insider baseball on fitness instructor? Yeah, because Kat used to teach spin class. Tell me. So I taught, yeah, I taught spin and we had, I had on my computer, I could see all the people and their names. And sometimes I would just open up that tab on my computer because I also would play my music off my computer and just call people's names out. But I didn't know who they were. Because it's nice, it is really nice and motivating to hear your name regardless.

However, I will say sometimes I would do that. But when you know them, I would. would say good job and I would mean it most of the time. Don't ruin this for me. I need to be affirmed in class. But I think this goes to like the placebo of it. You're right. I'm not going to know. But now I'm going to know, oh, she's probably just saying the name.

To motivate you though. Yeah, but I like being told I'm doing good job. And it being like, I earned this. Yeah, like nice form, Amy, good technique. But I think if you say nice form, you need to be, I wouldn't say nice form to somebody if I wasn't looking at them because what if they were like sitting down at the time? I feel like at my studio. They take it seriously.

I feel like, well, like I'm picturing it a spin class. It's like dark. You can't always see everybody, you know? Yeah. And I would, again, I would only say nice form or something specific like that if I could see them. But I might say like, I don't know, keep it up or something like that when it's dark and I can't see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's never fully dark in there.

And I've never gotten a like just blanket. Keep it up, Amy. Keep it up, Cindy. You're like, I get like the actual, like, I like the lunge with your right leg, Amy. Very good. Like, mm, good extension, Amy. Do you know that instructor? Yeah. Okay. I mean, would define no. Like, I've taken her class multiple times. And like, you say hi. Like, she probably does. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, some I see more than others. Like I was leaving the other day and one of my favorite instructors, her name's Nicole.

She was like, oh, great job, Amy, per usual. And I was like, for usual. That's me. I was like, she thinks I did good. And it's like, that's my usual. Yeah. That's my sometimes always. Okay, well, I'm glad that it felt good no matter.

It felt good, no matter what. It just made me think, like, there was something that Bobby said on the, the Bobby Bone showed the other day, some article, I'm paraphrasing. Yeah. I don't have the scientific research with me at all whatsoever. But that obviously we know about the placebo. effect, but sometimes even just taking a candy or a sugar pill or something before bed and acting as if it's some magic pill that's going to help you sleep will help you sleep.

Really? And I'm like, I got to start trying that. Yeah. Like I got to pop a skittal and be like, I get it. Sleeping pills. Yes. I will say when you're, this is for me, and I feel like this is somewhat universal, when you're working out in a class like that and somebody says your name, what is coming up.

my mind is like you're feeling seen in that space and like they know you and you feel special that is like a I don't know a feeling that you can't make up somewhere like it's what's the term I'm looking for when it doesn't when you can't buy it with money. Tangible? Nope. No. When it's priceless. That's like a priceless feeling when you're like, oh, they know me here and they care

about me here and they see me here versus like you go to a workout class like a I don't know. this is how I felt in like big places, like a soul cycle or something when there's like 75 people in the class. You feel like just like one of the, I don't know, millions and they don't really care if you're there. So it's very important. I'm glad that your instructor was calling out names. Yeah. Well, I think they've, where I go, they've generally been great at that. I really feel like it's why I decided to sign up. Even after the first time I went, you know, Kat called me Pilates Princess a minute ago because when I first signed up at this place after my first class and they do this with every first time visitor.

After you get done, you go to your locker and open it up and they have put a card inside that says, congratulations, you're a Pilates princess. Like, you did great, good job. And there's little stickers and you just feel special. And I was like, fine, I'll buy a year. When even if they do that to every single new person, it still means that they care about every single new person that comes in the door versus like, oh, who cares if they come back or not?

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Speaking of other things that I love, you were talking about. talking about how you got some nice messages from people and notes. We have some voicemails and I love them. And they're for you. I'm nervous. So this is a little gift to you and the baby. Okay. From our listeners.

We have a voicemail from Linda. Some people say where they're calling from. I don't know where Linda's calling from. Just picture Linda in the world. Can I picture her like in Australia or something? Maybe because you know we're international. Yeah, we are. Okay.

So, but I don't think she has an accent. Okay. But here's Linda. Kat's having a baby. Katz just listening to the podcast and that was so exciting. I'm so happy for you. Love the show. That's sweet.

That was so, okay, to take your time out to send that message and this is going to make you cry. Yeah. Is that your goal? Well, I think you're going to love this next one. Okay. This is from Kylie and she's in Alabama. Okay.

Hello, my name's Kylie. I live in Alabama and I am feeling super excited because Kat and I, are pregnant at like the same time because as of right now, at 12 weeks pregnant, my baby is the size of a lime. Have the day you need to have. Limes. And that means now her baby's the size of a lemon. Yeah, because last week you were a lime. And this week I'm a lemon, which my app said,

because it gives you like different categories and the fruit category. I'm a lemon. But then it also said it was the size of a Pokemon card. And then it also said it was a size of a. baby carrot. And a baby carrot and a lemon are very different. Very different. So I'm like, is it this big or is it this big? Isn't that crazy? Yeah. I need a new app maybe. I don't know. I don't know. That is really weird. We need more details about that for sure. So I'm going to go with lemon. We'll go with lemon, especially since we went with lime last week. So we'll just go with that.

That would mean it got smaller if it's now a baby carrot. We have other voicemails, but I can't play them all. So I I've got this one from Amber in Iowa. Hey, Amy and Kat. I just finished today's episode. And number one, yes, I know, Puma, absolutely love him and his crew. I didn't know the name of the thing, though. I'm really bad at that. Number two, can you continue doing check-ins with Kat?

I'm so excited for you. Congratulations. Excited to watch you become a mom here. You become a mom both. I don't know. But it's fun. And I think Amy has perfect questions since she's never experienced that. I also have never experienced it, though I wanted it when I was younger, but I've dealt with the fact that I'm not happening for me.

Anyways, yeah, those are fun check-ins for as much as Kat is willing to share. It's fun to hear you go through it. So, anyways, have a good day or have the day you need to have. This is Amber from Iowa. Thanks. That's sweet. So we've got to create little check-ins that we can do periodically. They just be like, okay, you know, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

Time for the baby checking with cat. Okay, but remember, we were told that our singing was annoying. We can get our, I can get a jingle for it or something. Like, we can get an official jingle like, T-D-da-da-da-d-to-do-to-t do. Time for the baby checking with cat. Okay, that one's actually kind of cute. Well, I feel like I could do that live every time.

It's quick, too. Yeah. It's time for the baby chicken with cat. Ooh. Okay. Yeah. So the check-in today is that your- A lemon or a baby cat.

Are there any other things you're experiencing? Because I have something I could bring up if you're not ready or prepared. It's about you, though. My lugging pants. Your jeans. So, yeah, I'm in this stage where I'm not like showing, but I am showing, if you don't know what I mean. Like, I don't have a baby bump, but my stomach has expanded.

So my clothes don't really fit. And I'm just in this weird in between. My jeans sometimes feel too tight, even though some of them I can sell a button. So I bought, I've never bought something from Hilara before. Have you seen that on? You get the ads. We all get the ads, right? I don't know what you're talking about.

You don't get Hilara ads on your TikTok? Is it for maternity clothing? No, it's like, no, these aren't even maternity jeans. These are normal people jeans that are just really stretchy. They do like active wear and I've never bought anything. Well, now that you're saying it, I'm sure I'll get the ads. Yeah, you're welcome. Yeah.

But they are literally leggings. They're so stretchy. You saw how far I stretched them. They look like jeans. And the cut of them, I feel like a lot of times, jaggings, like jean leggings don't actually have the like shape of jeans, but they do. And I love them. And I think they'll stretch with me for a while.

So great purchase. They're very cute. I feel really good about them. Your shirt is cute. Where's your shirt from? Old Navy. New, recent. I actually got this when I was.

doing my egg retrieval because I, when you do the egg retrieval, your stomach looks pregnant because your ovaries are so. What's the word? Swollen? I guess so. So I needed really baggy clothes. So I got a bunch of these. Don't ask for me for words earlier. You're looking for the word priceless and I was like, frugal? I don't know what I said. But it couldn't. It was like, nowhere near the right word that you were looking for. Oh, tangible. Tangible. You're like, what's the word? And I'm like, tangible. You can't buy it with money? Tangible.

Which you can't buy it with money. Because I was looking at a Intangible or something. Because like something you can't touch. Yeah. Yeah. Like you tried. Whatever.

I tried. So now you're like, what's the word? I'm like, I don't know. I'm assuming your ovaries are inflamed, swollen, enlarged. I guess enlarged. Why can't I think of the word that they would use? Juicy. The word juicy.

I looked more pregnant in the 10 days of. of my egg retrieval than I do now. It was crazy. That is crazy. So shout out to anybody who's going through that because it is a, I mean, it's a mind game with your body image. So also, I do believe Old Navy is doing a half off sale right now. Well, I might go on there and look for that shirt because I love the green. Like a boyfriend cut Oxford is what it was. Well, it looks great with your stretchy. Thanks. Stretty jeans. I thought literally they were maternity, but you're saying they're just for anybody. Yeah. Yeah. Legit for anybody. Because. I hear that maternity jeans are people don't like them that a lot of people are just wearing lower cut

jeans which I don't know if I'm going to do that yeah oh I saw a girl um at our track meet the other night and she was full belly out like little teeny tiny tank top yeah with these low rise drawstring pants and her like she must have been eight or nine months along like giving birth any day and it was interesting I didn't have anything wrong you know But there was, you're like, I don't know that I would do that. I don't think I could do that. She looked adorable. I didn't know I could do it. And then, yeah. I feel that way. That's like the style now that people like their bump is an accessory. And I think it is so cute. Because I get a lot of TikToks now that are about maternity style. And I'm like, okay, those outfits are so cute. But I'm not wearing a crop top with my belly out to work. I can't do that. I just am more, I think, modest than that. And I'm not at the point now or that I'm not at the point now or that I'm not at the point now or that I'm. could do that anyway because I don't have the bump. But it is, it's the thing. It's like instead of a necklace, you have your baby bump, you know? It's your accessory. It's, what was that rule? You have like seven things. Yeah, the rule of seven. The bump is one of the things. Yeah, earrings, purse, jacket,

hat, scarf, belt, baby bump. Baby bump. So Shannon has confirmed, old Navy is having a style right now 50% off online and in store, but only till March 25th, so like one day. If you're listening to this on Tuesday, you got until tomorrow. And then, yes, your ovaries were inflamed. She confirmed online. That is what it is. That's the official. There's a word that they use, though, but I'm thinking.

Enlarged. Enlanged. Enflamed. I'm trying to think of the word because they were, the, maybe it's stimulated. It's because they're stimulating. your follicles. So all of, so then they want them to be a certain size. And once they get to a be a certain size, then you have the retrieval and they go in and they suck them out.

Yeah. That makes sense. Which also shout out Amber for knowing Puma. Yeah. Crazy. Love that. Wait, that means she's seen the videos of Puma. Versus she knows him.

Applegate or Apple, whatever the landscaping company is that he works for. Yeah. Because they're TikTok and Instagram. Instagram famous. They obviously have a following because they make fun videos while they're at work. And Puma, he's just so cute. I swear to you, if I see him, I will be like, Puma. And I'm like, what a?

And everyone knows Puma too. So cool. This is something that came up in my therapy session the other day. And then I saw shrink chicks post about knowing if you can trust yourself, like if you're feeling like you can't or maybe you once could and you feel like you've lost trust in yourself. They shared a long list of small ways you can build that trust back. But I pulled five of my favorite from the list and then put my own little twist on them after something that came up in therapy because my therapist was challenging me with something I could do to support myself a little bit

in that moment. Like, what's one little thing you can do to support yourself? So that might be, for example, like going on a walk. Like, can you get up? If I'm feeling in a certain way, she was also celebrating and acknowledging that my window of, not my window of tolerance, but my window of, let's say I go off the rails and do a behavior that like isn't in alignment with who I want to be now. But it's like, God, I thought I evolved from that, right? Like, why am I having this thought or why did I have that behavior or why did I do that or why did I snap or what you know like why was that my reaction or why did I react and not take time to respond you know but I recover more quickly and so she said that my window of recovery is getting smaller

which is great she's like that's what we want in therapy like we want you to have that awareness and then you come back to self because we're going to mess up more quickly right she's like have grace like you're human doesn't mean you're going to always okay now that you've decided this is who you are and how you're going to be that you just, that's the path you stay on. And I told her that I had a moment, but I self-corrected faster than like ever before. And she was like, oh, let's celebrate that because your window of recovery is becoming more narrow, which is what we want. Because some days, sometimes, like, who knows, you may not even be aware of how you acted or what you did for like a week or a month. Or you may stay in them. Because you did it,

you might be like, oh, well, and you may stay in that behavior for, or that slump or whatever you want to call it for a week, a month, or however long, when, if you want a course correct. Anyway, so we were celebrating that. And then I was just like, well, now I feel like I've lost a little bit of trust in myself. And how do I know I can take care of myself? She's like, well, that's one example. But she's like, what are some little things you can do for yourself that will support you in those moments if you're having some of those thoughts?

and she was like going outside, getting fresh air, practicing whimsy, like when we wanted to be more playful, do I need to take a nap, do I need to eat something, do I need to drink something? Water, probably. Not like drinking something else. So then it reminded me of something that the shrink chicks put up and it's pretty much if you're not sure you can trust yourself anymore, these are some ways that you can. And that was one of them to ask yourself, what would feel just a little more supportive right now, Just small shifts like that are more than you think.

What would be one for you if, like, you were feeling off, like, what's something you know you could go do for yourself that might feel supportive to you in the moment? The first thing that I came to mind was take a shower. But you can't always do that. I know. But do not underestimate washing your hair too. Yeah. Today was a hair wash day. I felt really good.

But when I can't do that, when I can't go, because I like that reset, I'll do like an ice roller that feels like soothing, you know. or, I mean, drinking a cold glass of water. Yeah. Something that feels like, yeah, soothing and good to you. One of the examples from shrink chicks was stop rushing yourself back to fine. Because sometimes we want to, even though I was celebrating that I course corrected more quickly, I probably need to give myself space because sometimes that might not always be the case. Or if I'm in a rut or grieving something like, oh, I need to.

feel better by this point. You don't need to necessarily rush. That we need to trust that we're going at the pace that is good for us. Another thing was paying attention to what your body is telling you. Like if you're tired, hungry, tense, all of those things are signals. Your body's communicating something to you. So start listening and paying attention and then acting on it and be like, oh yeah, I ate and I felt better. So I can trust myself. Or I drink water. I felt better. I took a nap and then I felt better like that. Except for my naps can't go too long. I'm not a big napper anyways, but if I nap, if I do nap and it's too long of a nap, then it's a problem.

But there's like a sweet spot for me. It's got to be less than 30 minutes. Why, how long are your naps? Well, that's a cat nap. This is also not really fair because I just went through a trimester one of pregnancy. and I was taking like two hour naps every day. That is not normal for me. So I don't know.

I think a good nap is like 45 minutes to an hour. Really? Yeah. Interesting. By the time, if at 30 minutes, like I've just fallen asleep and I'm back up. Listen, don't ask me. I'm not really that big of a napper. Give yourself permission to change your mind is another thing because changing your mind is evolving.

That's wisdom. Don't beat yourself up for it. You're allowed to change your mind. I feel like that's something that gets people twisted in trusting themselves when they're like, well, I now believe this or I now know this or I now would do this. And so then they're like, how do I even know that's right? Because I used to think this. That's not fair.

It's like you said, it's natural to evolve. And as we gain more wisdom, we allow ourselves to change our minds. That should build more trust, knowing that I'm flexible when I gain more information versus I can't trust myself because I once thought this thing. I feel like online isn't necessarily making it easy for some people to change their mind. Like if someone opens up and is sharing like, oh, I was wrong about this, there's so many comments. And these are trolls. So you should not listen to them anyways. But it's hard to ignore when someone's like trying to publicly say, hey, I know. But now I'm thinking da-da-da-da-da, instead of being like, oh, cool, like way to evolve and do some critical thinking and whatever.

instead of saying, well, you were part of this problem to begin with. So, you know, it's like, wait, that's not very welcoming to. It's all, yeah, it's like, is that our job to hold them accountable for those things? Yeah, no. And then it's, so then it's difficult for them to be like, oh, well, I guess I'm not allowed to change my mind, which you are. Give yourself permission to change your mind. And then the final thing is follow through on one small thing you promised yourself each day.

So this doesn't have to be anything crazy. It can be something manageable. You know, like I mentioned, water. It could be like, okay, I want to drink six cups of water today. Like, follow through on that for yourself. And then you'll be like, okay, I can trust myself. Or I want to go to bed tonight at 9.30 p.m. We'll get in bed at 9.20 so that you're in, you know, do little things to show yourself. You mean what you say. Yeah. I think what happens a lot of times when people want to make a change is they want to make all the changes at once because you're motivated. But that's not possible. So then that backfires because you're not going to do all that stuff. And so then it's like, well, never change versus like what you're saying. If I start with like this week, I'm going to go to bed at 9 p.m. three times. Like you can do that. But you can't go to bed at 9 p.m. every night. Drink 17 glasses of water. cook all your meals at home. Make sure that your car has gas in it before it's time to leave to go somewhere. Do all your laundry. Like you can't do all of that stuff. This, that if you're going to change it at once. It's going to get overwhelming.

Yeah. Have I told you my gas thing that I'm doing my little reward? Yes. I feel like I talked about it on the podcast. Yes, but now I can't remember what it was. You would love it. What is it? You don't remember?

Try to guess. Okay. I give myself. Picture me at a gas station. Getting myself a treat. If you fill up your gas before you get three quarters. No, just a quarter. A quarter.

Then you can get a Diet Coke. Yes. Okay. Yeah. I did it. You did it. From the fountain. No, I just get a bottle.

Or a can. Or a can. The bottle is the worst kind of Diet Coke. Listen, I don't know that I trust the ice at the fountain. Huh. But that's. I've never. been worried about that.

I mean, but I mean, I'll go to a restaurant and get it for them. So it's the same thing. Gas station's different a little bit. Maybe, maybe not. The health code standards. Are they different? Well, not standards, but I bet that, like,

Chick-fil-A has a higher health code score than your local Exxon. The gas station? Yeah, I don't know. But I just go in and get, yeah, either a tall boy can or the screw top. I like the screw top because that'll last me. A few days because I can put the lid back on and then keep it in my fridge.

But you don't go home and pour it into a cup with ice. No, I'll just take a few sips in the car. I get your point. It's not the same. Fountain through and through all the way. Fountain Diet Coke. Can Diet Coke. Then bottle.

Yeah, but you're right. If you have a can, you have to drink it all then. Right, because you can't if you've got the bottle. So anyway, that's if you struggle. Sorry, I'm not trying to mess with your reward. That's really great. Sounds like it. If you struggle with.

getting gas because I am a get gas when my car says refuel immediately. So my car goes, you know, empty or like close to getting empty and then it'll send me a message on the dashboard that says, please refuel. And then it will go refuel immediately. And that's normally when I get gas. But as of the last six months or so, I have been going and if I get there and I still have a quarter of a tank left, I get my Diet Coke treat. Have you ever ran out of gas? on the road? Yes. Recently. No. Was this a teenage thing? Yes. Okay. That's appropriate. But I mean, I've been close. Yeah. And it's not, people always loved some messages because when I'm like, oh, I'm on it, please refuel. I'm

like, oh, Instagram. Like, I don't know why that's something. I'm a daredevil. Look at me. I'm so edgy. I don't know that's why that's one of my most viral videos ever has to do with the gas tank. I think it has over 11 million views. Well, that's like kind of rage bait, don't you think? Why? When you post a picture and you're like have negative, that gets people riled up. Well, I did like a video where I did, like I married my video up with another girl's video from TikTok. I can't remember her name, but I gave her credit in the video. It wasn't like just like, oh, hmm.

But I pulled her video like she says, she said in her video, do you know why I keep my gas tank on E? And she's like, because if anybody gets in my car and, you know, puts a gun to my head and is like, just drive. She's like, where am I going to drive besides to the gas station so that I can get out of my car and run? Yeah. You know? And so I did a little like stitch video with her where I was like, anytime I'm nearing empty, I think of this woman. And then I played her clip because it's like, do I really want to get gas? Because what if I get taken? And then I'm like, well, sorry, we're going to go to the gas station. Having gas in your car essentially could end your life. Exactly. They could

get they could drive all the way to the country. Rural parts. Yes. And then you're really. And then you're in the middle of the nowhere. Yeah. I think about that a lot when I'm on in the land. Like if I'm somewhere like if I'm ever, if I'm driving where there's lots of land or

looking at homes that have lots of land. You're like I could die here. No, I don't think I could die. I think are there bodies there? We wouldn't know. And then you know, I don't know if this is on your algorithm, but a lot of bunker stuff showing up on my algorithm. You can have opinions.

You can have like a strong stance. And then there's your body having its own program. I'm Dr. Maya Shunker, a cognitive scientist and host of the podcast, a slight change of plans, a show about who we are and who we become when life makes other plans. We share stories and scientific insights to help us all better navigate these periods of turbulence and transformation. There is one finding that is consistent, and that is that our resilience rests on our relationships. I wish that I hadn't resisted for so long the need to change. We have to be willing to live with a kind of uncertainty that none of us likes.

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I don't know if this is on your algorithm, but a lot of bunker stuff is showing up on me. my algorithm of people who've built underground bunkers. We're very different. And I strongly believe anybody that is building an underground bunker needs a background check. Why? Because now you're telling me you have this very discreet container in your backyard that has

like this hidden trap door with all these living amenities where they could totally live life down there. Like you could be hiding somebody. That's fair. I was thinking I need to find a friend that has a bunker just in case. Yeah, same. I don't know anybody. I also, are the people that are doing bunkers?

Are they kind of trying to keep that on the deal? Because if they need it. Some are. Some aren't because, I mean. But if they need it, they don't want people to know because they don't want them all up in their bunker. Showing up. Like, hey, I know you have a bunker. Yeah. And then it's like one more mouth to feed.

I know. One more person to sleep in the cot. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I don't have this on my algorithm now. Really? Is it, I wonder, is it because you're watching Paradise? I got intrigued because this one bunker guy popped up in my feed who's built them for all the billionaires like Zuckerberg and everybody else. Okay, that brings up a whole other.

I don't know why I got so. You had a visceral reaction. Yes. Are you sweating? Cat just got all. My palms are getting all clammy. For some reason, billionaire and bunker freaks me out because they, you're sweating. because they already get away with so much stuff because they have billions of dollars that i'm like

they don't get to have a bunker because they could be doing if somebody's going to do something with a bunker i feel like it's going to be that that's very judgmental and i acknowledge that and i will work on that and that is how i feel right now well i don't know if this is true or not because again it was just in my algorithm but there apparently is some secret paradise-esque type bunker situation that all the wealthy people have, I'm not talking about Zuckerberg, I'm talking about just maybe not billionaires, but maybe they're multi, multi-millionaires.

And there's this community of where they will go. No, but should they need to, they bought in. And it exists somewhere. It's like a club. In America. Yeah, like a prestigious club that you can get into, hold your slot. I mean, Rodo, what a racket.

be like, oh yeah, to all these people with money, you just act like you have this like bunker situation. Let's hope so. Because they're wise with their money, obviously. Most people that wealthy don't just have the wealth because they're buying bunkers sight unseen. Unless they've just been gifted that money through, you know. Inheritance. Yeah. Which they could still be wise with money. But okay, is that on your algorithm that you're seeing that? Because I didn't, I've never heard this. Yeah, that's why I don't know. True. Also, Switzerland, I believe, I talked about this on the Bobby Bone Show. I think they have a shelter for everyone in their population. Well, how big is your population? Well, I don't know exactly, but still, to have something and then some, and they have

extra space, but it's required, like they have somewhere safe for everybody to go. Shelter. Bunker type situation. Underground. Yeah, or in the, yeah, in the ground. Under the ground. That's the difference. No. In the ground, not underground. So here it is. Switzerland has a vast network of nuclear, hardened shelters and bunkers capable of housing its entire population of over nine million people. What's the population of United States? Way more than that. Shannon's going to look it up. Should we move to Switzerland? I'm thinking maybe we should just because they seem happy. neutral.

Yeah. They're like, they're known for. They're known for being neutral and positive. I mean, they have a plus sign on their flag. What's the cuisine of Switzerland? That would be a. We have, in the U.S., we have $342 million. Okay.

That's a little different. So yeah. Crazy. Okay. So I would consider Switzerland, but I don't, like, I don't think like I want to go on vacation there to try their food. Because what is their food? Well, we're going to look that out.

Okay. What is it like? While Shannon's looking up, a Swiss cuisine. Do they have Swiss cheese? I don't like Swiss cheese. But I do, is that a pretzel? I know that's like a German thing, but is that just like a soft pretzel? Yeah, or like a wiener schnitzel.

You just wanted to say that. I did. Okay. Okay, well, Shannon already found it. So we'll do the other thing in a second. But popular Swiss cuisine is divined by hearty alpine. influence dishes featuring generous amounts of cheese, potatoes, and bread. I'm in.

Okay, I can do that. Yeah. I can do it. I'll move. Let's go. Add two more bunkers. We're going. Population 9 million plus two more.

Oh, wait. And you're having a baby. I have to bring my husband. Yeah. I can't take the baby. That's kidnapping if you take it away from the father. Well, he can come too. Yeah.

So speaking of other ways of being. I came across. Four Victorian-inspired phrases for dealing with men. And these just made me laugh. Okay. Did you watch Bridgeton? No. And you know I love Gilded Age and...

I didn't watch any of those like old and day shows. And I don't know why. Part of it is like I have a hard time understanding what they're saying. Really? Well, I'm going to speak like them. Looked at me like I was... Well, because it's not... Really? You're done.

I just met like, really? Because it's not like it's some crazy accent that's like... Or you could just put the subtitles on? Like, would that help? I never have tried. I just remember watching the, what was it? The crown. The crown.

And that was hard to follow for me. Right. You're like, yeah. Again, you're not very sorry. Okay. So this is just formal speaking, Victorian, you know, proper. So if your man is talking to you in a condescending way, this is what you can say to him. You appear most committed to the sound of your own voice.

Isn't that cute? Yeah. I'll say that to Patrick. But you just say it with it. It's like an English accent. I just feel like it's like proper. Yeah. But, okay, you appear most committed to the sound of your own voice.

You know what I've been looking up? Because I'm watching a show that is, we have to have the subtitles on. It's Broadchurch. It's in England, I'm pretty sure. And you can't, like some of the words we don't have. that word. Like they're just, they're, the way they say things are, it's just, everything is either cuter or sweeter or like meaner. Like, maybe because it's not my language, but I'm envious of it. Do you know the happiest language? This is just from the dome. Don't quote me because maybe

research has changed. Can I guess? Yeah. Australian? No. No, that's English. Spanish. Ah. It's like the happiest, like, you know. Yeah. Yeah. I can, I see that. Comestas. Thank you. And the angriest, I feel like, would be German. Yeah. Or Russian. Freaks me out. Maybe because those places are both freaky, I wonder. I feel like German, the way they have to talk, they have to be so like. Direct. Yeah. The words, you have to say them so like, oh. Yeah. Okay. Carry on. When your man is defensive, your fragility is most revealing. I feel like that might make him more defensive. when he won't apologize.

Accountability appears beyond your current capacity. Now I feel like it turned into a southern bell. Accountability appears to be beyond your current capacity. You're good at that. Who is the girl from White Lotus? What would she say? What would she say? Oh, we love talking like...

Sunami. I never even watched that, but I knew that. And there was another thing she would say. What's her name, Parker Posey? I think that's the actress. Oh, that's not her name in the show. No, I think it's her real name and she was fabulous as that character. Tsunami.

The final one. When you're done dealing with his... Oh, wait, hold on. I have another one for when he won't apologize. Sorry, there's two options. This conversation has reached its natural demise. That sounds like a robot. This conversation has reached its natural demise.

I've sort of lost my victory. Self-in-blode. I sort of lost my... Victorian era when I mixed with Southern Bell. This conversation has reached its natural demise. Okay, when you're done dealing with his BS, I have two options for you. Okay. I take my leave of this foolishness.

You may continue alone. That's a good one. You may continue alone. But that still sounds to me like a robot. You may continue alone. Goodbye. You may continue alone. Yes.

Mandarin, Chinese, German, Arabic, Russian, and Korean are frequently cited as sounding the most aggressive. Really, they could be saying something so sweet and nice, but it just sounds a little more. I like listening to people speak Mandarin. Very bonita. Yeah. Yeah, they have more like. Sass. Yeah.

Very caliente. Arriva. I wish I had really paid more attention in Spanish. Spanish was ranked number one. followed by Portuguese, English, Indonesian, and French. Oh, if I could speak French. I've never even been to Paris. But I want to go there and have a croissant?

I feel like French is not my favorite language. Really? It feels. Yeah. Italian, I feel like it was very, very pretty. Give me some Italian because I can't. Like, I can't. Yeah, I can't go.

Gratier. Yeah. Parmesan, Balinese, pasta, primavera. Oh, madone. Okay, okay, okay. Bonjourno. Yeah, I don't know, like, I can't say a sentence. I know a couple words, and I know a curse word, and that's about it.

You can say a curse word? Which one? Well, I don't know if it's an actual, well, now I'm blanking on it. It's something my grandma always says. I don't know that it's what? I don't have never heard that. Vava. Vavau cool.

But I don't know if it was like a slang. My grandma also taught me this word and now I can't remember what it was, but it meant you look, it was something you'd say if you look like a mess. And the, the translation is you look like a cat sprayed across the wall, splattered on the wall. A cat splattered on the wall? Yes, that was like the English translation, but it meant like you look like a mess. But I can't remember. I don't, that's not helpful because I don't remember what it is. Sorry.

I remember when I went to Africa, if they wanted to compliment your outfit, they would say you looked smart. Oh, thank you. Smart. That means, I get things. That was a word or they just thought that smart meant. That's how they said like, oh, beautiful. It was smart or like you look nice. Smart.

But I don't know. That wasn't, what did they speak in Kenya? You want to know a fun fact about Italian that I learned when we went? I think it was 2020. Swahili, duh. Duh. Dangible. So.

I don't know that my brain is working this episode, so I'm sorry. That's okay. That makes it better. It's priceless. So when Italian, you learn Italian, just because you learn Italian doesn't mean you can go to Italy and speak Italian everywhere because every single like little city or like suburb or whatever has a different dialect. And so when we were in Cortona, we went and did this cooking class.

and we were talking to the people that live there, and she was like, if you go one town over, I might, I have, that's why Italians talk with their hands so much because the word that I might use for road might be a different word that they use for road. So we talk with our hands to explain things so we can understand each other.

So learning Italian in high school, or if you take an Italian class, doesn't mean that you're going to be understood in certain areas or that you'll understand certain areas. And I thought that was so interesting because English is here, it's just, English. English.

I mean, there might be like slang words, but. Well, I wonder, I mean, we would say like, um, pop, Coke, soda, pop. Yeah. But we would all understand that. Like highway road, free. Some people say freeway. But we understand what that. If somebody were to come and say freeway, we would understand what they meant.

Yeah. I also talk with my hands a lot. Are you Italian? Well, maybe it's just part of my. No, I believe I'm Irish. Oh, yeah. Which didn't end up on a friendly or a aggressive list. the language.

Well, don't, don't Irish people speak English? Mm. Yeah. Ireland. Ireland. I think they speak English. Oh. I mean, I could be wrong, but...

But their, their accent is very different. Yes. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Can you do an Irish accent? I just did. No. That was Russian. Hold on.

I did. I said Ireland. Ireland. Ireland. Ireland. I'm from Ireland. It's they say like... Er instead of O.

Beer. Burr. Do you want to burr? The perk or the Gerdin. The perk of the Gerdin. The Pirk of the Gerdin. Instead of, I've watched a video trying to learn the accent of Irish because I feel like that's such a fun accent.

That in Australian, but it's so hard. And it was something about like, instead of A-R, it's like ER. So they say, would you like to go to the perk or the Gerdin? Yeah, the perk of the Gerdin. Okay. Well, yes. talking like this. I don't know if I'm better at this because my sister

and I did it so much growing up and we would say, oh, sister, I don't know. Do you know where father is? Like we talk like this all the time. So it's natural. We'd like go order our food in public this way. People were like, uh, somebody calls some help.

Right. I thought of the curse word. So earmuffs. Well, if it's in another language, it's fine. It's fun gul, which means I think the F word. So my grandma could say that. And it's not like she was cussing because I didn't know what I meant.

Right. The more you know. I could be wrong though. So fact check me. Or don't. Or just let me live. Just live your life. Speak how you want.

Yeah. Do your thing. Okay. Well, good. Perk of the garden. Try to say something else for the Irish accent. It's very difficult. Do you want?

Lucky charm. Lucky charm. Wait, what is it the slogan? they're after my they're after me lucky terms they're after me lucky terms okay yeah I guess that's all I say do you want to go to lunch I do you want to lunch all I have in my head is do you want to go at the lunch and now I now I sound like Dracula think about do you want to go at the lunch think about how hard it is for actors I don't know how they do it how did they do it I think it's like a gift yeah obviously one we don't have like people that can see

or dance. Impressions are, some people are so good at impressions. I mean, it's crazy. Like sometimes my algorithm will get on impressions of people just impersonating different people. There's this one girl that does a Claire Dane's impression that is just so spot on.

That's such a random impression too. Like the other day I thought it literally was Claire Daines. And then I was like, oh, no, no, this is that girl that impersonates her. That's crazy. And then this one guy was doing Obama, but it was like a white guy, so you knew it wasn't Obama.

mama, obviously. But it was perfect. Wow, you almost could pass as him. If my eyes were closed. Right. But even his facial expressions looked in the pauses. Like, it wasn't just the words. It was like the pause.

Yeah. Like, it was everything. It was just perfect. And like Eddie on the Bobby Bowen show, he can do really good impressions of like Luke Brian. Isn't that just like a country accent though? No, he like really sounds like Luke. And then it's not just like, oh, I'm Luke, Brian.

Like, he really sounds like him. And then, or like Disney characters and stuff. Like he can, like goofy. People can sound like those characters. It's crazy. I don't have that gift. That could be something you learn to figure out my gift. I was going to say, that could be something you learn in like improv.

No, I don't know. I think it's like, again, I couldn't learn how to sing it improv. Yeah, but you might learn how to do impressions. I don't know. I think the only one I have is Russian. Russian sister. That's like mediocre at best. Yeah.

Okay. Well, there you go. Yay. Yeah, that was fun. Okay, well, we hope wherever you are that you have the day you need to have. Bye. Bye. How much you wait, Wanda?

Right now, about 130. I'm at 183. We should race. No, I want to leave here with my original. On the podcast The Matchup with Alia, I pair prominent female athletes with unexpected guests.

On a recent episode, I sat down with undisputed boxing champ, Cloresa Shields, and comedian Wanda Sykes to talk about Wanda's new movie Undercard, the art of trash talk and what it really means to be ladylike.

Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search the matchup with Alia and listen now. Brought to you by Novartis, founding partner of IHeart Women's Sports Network. Hello, gorgeous. It's Lala Kent. Host of Untraditionally Lala. My days of filling up cups at Sir,

may be over, but I'm still loving life in the valley. Live on the other side of the hill is giving grown-up vibes, but over here on my podcast, Untraditionally Lala, I'm still that Lala you either love or love to hate. It's unruly, it's unafraid, it's untraditionally Lala. Listen to Untraditionally Lala on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Kristen Davis, host of the podcast, Are You a Charlotte? In 1998, my life was forever changed when I took on the role of Charlotte York.

on a new show called Sex and the City. Now I get to sit down with some of my favorite people and relive all of the incredible moments this show brought us on and off the screen. Listen to Are You a Charlotte on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Bob Pittman, chairman and CEO of IHeart Media, and I'm kicking off a brand new season of my podcast,

Math and Magic, Stories from the Frontiers of Marketing. Math and Magic takes you behind the scenes of the biggest businesses and industries while sharing insights from the smartest minds in marketing. Coming up this seasonal math and magic, CEO of Liquid Death Mike Cesario. People think that creative ideas

are like these light bulb moments that happen when you're in the shower. It's really like a stone sculpture. You're constantly just chipping away and refining. Take two interactive CEO, Strauss Selnick, and our own chief business officer, Lisa Coffey. Listen to Math and Magic on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast,

or wherever you get your podcast. This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed human.