The Bobby Bones Show - FEELING THINGS - The Silly Little Star Chart That Changed Everything

Episode Date: July 4, 2026

Amy and Kat kick off the episode by sharing their feelings of the day, from feeling proud, productive, and accomplished to Amy's annoyance after someone took her salt. Amy shares 2 unforgettable restaurant stories involving a date, wine, and an abandoned purse before diving into a simple but powerful communication tip about how shifting compliments from personal opinions to thoughtful observations can make people feel more genuinely seen. Later, listener Julia shares how a "Silly Little Star Chart" has transformed her approach to building healthy habits over 75 days. The episode also features heartfelt listener messages offering encouragement, perspective, and practical advice for navigating fears around childbirth. It's an episode filled with laughter, Kat’s tears, meaningful conversations, and reminders that personal growth often happens through the small things. Have the day you need to have! Get some Feeling Things merch by clicking HERE! (FeelingThingsPodcast.com) Sign up for the Feeling Things newsletter HERE! Watch us on Youtube HERE! Call and leave a voicemail: 877-207-2077 Email: [e-mail] HOSTS: Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy Kat Van Buren // threecordstherapy.com // @KatVanburenSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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brother, ladies and fellas, we just follow in the spirit where it tells us. From the real stuff to the chill stuff and the in between. Sometimes the best thing you can do is just out and feel things. Feeling Things with Amy and Kat. Happy Tuesday. Welcome to Feeling Things. I'm Amy. And I'm Kat. And I have two feelings of the day. I have two feelings, too. I have a little alliteration with mine. I'm feeling accomplished and annoyed.

Okay. Oh. So, oh. That's so crazy. I just looked at the document and I saw that yours is a P.P. Mine's A. And yours is, well, you can say your feelings. I feel proud and productive. But I want to hear, gosh, we're so. so sympathico right now. I know. So, okay, tell me about. Well, I'm a call. I feel accomplished because I've already packed for our trip, which is way ahead of time for me. Normally, I am last minute and it's a little chaotic. I just totally got ahead of things. So I feel accomplished and I feel good. And I'm like, is this how some people just live their life? Because this feels really good.

And I'm annoyed because my daughter took my salt for my house. Say more of why that's annoying. Because I made egg in a hat where you take a piece of bread and put it in the skillet and cut out a hole and set the hole aside on the skillet so it browns. And then you crack an egg and put it in the middle of the hole. And you cook it and it's delicious with a little butter and salt. And it's perfection. And she makes hard boiled eggs in the mornings. I guess wherever she was going today, she was in a hurry and she took her eggs with her.

And I guess she took the salt so that she could eat her eggs and put the salt on it. So I was like, cool, cool. And I was so excited for that. I would have picked a different route for lunch. Because we were recording and you were coming over and I was like, am I going to do chicken tacos or I'm going to do egg in a hat? I was like, I'm going to do egg and a hat. No salt. Salt kind of can make or break a dish, you know?

So. So I hope she's enjoying that salt. I'm annoyed. I know. And then she goes to her dad. So I'm going to have to be like, okay. I'm going to need you to make a special trip to my house to drop off my pink Himalayan. It was special salt too.

Seasol. Yeah. Okay. Oh, I'm sorry about that. I don't know if pink Himalayan Seasol is a thing. Maybe it's just pink Himalayan salt. Well, whatever. It's special salt.

It's not just your average table salt. So hopefully you can work through that. Thank you. I'm using my coping skills. Your tools. You use your tools. I'm feeling proud and productive. What's interesting is I always am packed pretty early and I'm not packed and you are packed.

So that's crazy. That's not why I'm proud of myself. Actually, maybe I am. Oh, you're proud for like chilling out a little bit. Yeah. Yeah, because you don't need to be packed by now. I just am. Yeah.

Yeah, you're fine. But I went to UPS. And I had about 20 things. That's an exaggeration. I had a lot. I had a box of stuff that I had to return to Amazon. And that stuff stresses me out. Do you, does it stress you out?

Like, it's something I just want to always put off. Yeah, of course. Returns are never fun. Yeah. So I did them. And I rewarded myself afterwards with a little pedicure. Because I said if I go to UPS, the nail place is right next door. Then I can get my house.

else done. That's a good way to get stuff done. Yeah. Is to, when you have something you really want to do, like you really wanted a pedicure. Yeah. But don't allow it until you accomplish XYZ. And then it was like the pedicure was free because, you know, I'm getting all this money back. Yeah. From your returns. Yeah. Sometimes I get lazy and I forget about returns. Like when I was packing, I went into my cabinet where I keep all my sunglasses and I found two pair of sunglasses that I ordered back in February for the cruise that the Bobby Bone Show went on. And I guess before the cruise, I decided I'm going to return them.

But then I put them in the cabinet and then I went on the cruise. And then I was probably like, I don't want to deal with it. And I forgot about them. And I opened them up. And so now I'm going to take them on our trip. So it's like new glasses. Yeah. That's so fun.

Yeah. But I definitely didn't return those and I should have. It's okay. It's okay. Okay. So that's proud and productive. Love it. Those are good things. I have something that you really enjoy doing, which is questions that don't come up.

I'm so excited. This is a segment that Kat invented several months back because she loves. I invented it. It's really just asking a question. I know, but you gave it a cute name. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Questions that don't come up. When you get curious about something. And sometimes it's about your friend, just something you feel like you think you should know or maybe your partner. you all can play this game at home too with your kids hey questions that don't come up do you dating anybody i had to ask my son that if he was like one of these girls that he'd be he's gone to do a mall hangout and a pizza place hang out in the last week or so same group and there's this one girl and i had to ask questions that don't come up do we like her he said no oh but

I'm just giving an example of like how to use it with your kids like oh or questions that it won't come up but like I have no idea what your favorite color is you don't purple yes I know it's just oh you're kidding okay I was like this is crazy but you might not I had a friend get mad at me in college because I didn't know her favorite color but I think that was her way of expressing that she felt disconnected from me or that I wasn't pouring into our friendship the way she was and I totally feel that. I can have my guard up a lot sometimes with people. And I don't know what it is,

because she wasn't the first person that had to express that to me. So that's something I have to try to work on. I don't know, college me was a long time ago, but she did say during one of our friendship talks where we're really like, hey, she was like, I mean, you don't even know my favorite color. And I was like, you're right, I don't.

And I did not like that feeling. I'm having a feeling because I don't think I know your favorite color. Because guess what? I don't have one. I was about to say brown. Maybe that's my... Mushroom. Was that the color that you're supposed to wear?

Mushroom is one of my colors. I have my colors done in case y'all don't know. What's that called? Color theory? Color analysis? Yes. I had that. And I am cool summer in case anybody cares.

And mushroom looks really good on you. Mushroom is a color under Cool Summer that is, I guess your skin and eyes look better with mushroom if you are a cool summer. But whatever. Sometimes I apply my analysis and then other times I don't care because black isn't in my color wheel and I still like things that are black. So it is what it is. Yeah.

I'm just going to wear black. I know, well, navy is in my color wheel. So I'm supposed to replace black with navy. Anyway, back to my original questions that don't come up. Because they are scenarios. Okay. Like these aren't, this isn't the questions that don't come up so that I can learn about you. It's more, I want to know what you would do.

So in a way, I guess I am learning about you. Video experience. Weekend gold tickets to Ilson Inc. One, two, three. With Dom Dalla, Chris Lakin, Friends, Woolly, Dead Mouse, Above and Beyond, Subfocus, and, more with flights from porter airlines three nights at residence in downtown montreal and one thousand dollars cash enter for your chance to win at iheartradio dot ca il sonique in montreal every day you enter

is another chance to win i was sitting at a restaurant at the bar because we didn't have a reservation and this place is popular is it oba okay it's so good i wanted to say ava i think it's oba i think it's I haven't been there yet, though. I want to go. AVA. However you want to say that. It's so cute. I love the vibe.

I'm sitting at the bar. There's this guy and girl next to us. And I think they have some friends around, but they do not know each other. And I'm going to call a man and woman. I think they were a little older than me. Man gets a drink. Woman is curious about that drink, contemplating, possibly ordering it herself. So he says, you can try.

try it. I knew you were going to say that. And she takes a sip of his drink. And then that's really the end of my story. Because I was, wow, I said to who I was with. They don't know each other. And she just took a sip of his drink because I know, because I know. And then the longer their conversation went on, because that's what who I was with said. Well, how do you know that? And I'm like, pay attention. You could tell. And then the way they were talking, he was like, Oh, yeah. Wow. Oh, my gosh. They don't know each other. And then eventually, like, she got up because they were only sitting at the bar waiting for their table to get ready. And they got up and went to their table and he stayed. So 100% confirmation. They didn't know each other. But she was like,

mm, that's good. And he was like, yeah. And I'm thinking, did she drink out of the straw? No, they both drank out of the cup. Okay. So what would you do? If you were curious about a drink and a stranger offered you a sip of his drink. Are you taking it? It depends because my first thought is, are these people single? Because first of all, if he's offering another woman to sip his drink, if my husband did that, I would be so angry. Let's just say for the sake of the story, they're single. So they're both single. It's kind of a flirty move. So I get why they might have done that. However, it depends on where I am. Are we acting like we didn't just live through COVID six years ago? I guess that's. I guess

That doesn't bother me as much. I'm thinking like you can get roofied pretty easily in this town. But he's drinking it too. People are tricky. So I think if somebody offered me a drink of their drink at like a dive bar or like, I don't know, a less elevated place, I would be much less likely to do it. Nobody's thinking about the germs here? I wasn't thinking germs. I was thinking like this.

What if somebody's something's in the drink? Okay. Well, you're right. I should think of the jumps. That leads to my next question. Okay. Scenario number two of the evening, same night, same bar. Okay. Same everything. A girl comes in, sits down to the other side of us by herself, orders a drink, a meal. I believe it was like salmon on some skewers. Some what? Skeers?

Skewers. Scuers? Yeah, you got it. With some rice. vegetables and she has her cell phone, her purse, her drink, her food. She gets up and goes to the bathroom and leaves her phone, her purse, her drink, her food all unattended. And it's a bar where, again, this is a very busy place. To your point, it is elevated and there are a lot of people watching.

So it's not like shady and dark where you could like sprinkle something on her food. But what if I was thinking someone could tamper with your food? Someone could slide something in your drink. Someone could take your purse. Yeah, there's multiple scenarios. But the roofied one was a thought. If she has left her drink here in the wide open, she didn't say to anybody, hey, can you watch my stuff?

I'm going to go to the bathroom. She just went. So, okay, that's a tough situation because if you have to go to the bathroom and you're by yourself, what are you supposed to do? I guess ask somebody to walk, but then you have to trust that they're not going going to do something. I don't know. These days I might take my drink with me. Or leaving the purse and stuff. But then I'm like, did she leave her purse so people didn't think she like left? Well, in that case, I would say to the bartender, hey,

I'll be right back. I'm going to the restroom real quick. I'll be right back. Can you watch my stuff? And shoot, maybe she did that, but I don't think so because I was very observant at this dinner, if you can't tell. And I... People are trustworthy in this town, it sounds like. They sure are. And a lot of people go sit at nice restaurant bars. by themselves. But you know one of my friends that you've met used to, she still does this. She goes to bars and journals all the time, like nice bars. And that's how she meets people, right?

She has met many of people that way. But like if. Yeah, I think we've talked about it on the podcast that maybe I need to go hit up different nice hotel bars or restaurant bars and just sit there with a glass of wine in a journal. Yeah. And see, we have to be open and approachable. You can't be like, you know, head down. scribbling, furiously.

I'm journaling. Why are you bothering me? It'd be lightly journaling. Maybe I should do some sort of an experiment where I do that. Not even journaling or just go with my computer in a glass of wine or just I need to be doing something or a book. I guess. Yeah, you go with a book or your computer to make it look like you're working. And maybe you could get a little work done.

Who knows? And see what happens if people talk to you. but are you going to be open to talking to them? You're very good at talking to strangers. Yeah, I think I would be open to it, but I just don't know what. What bar? I don't know. Maybe we need to call your friend and get a recap of like, what are the places?

I do know she loved Barcelona. They have a cool bar. Well, yeah, so if I'm going to do that, I would maybe do Abba. Why is it so hard for me to say Abba? Like, every time I'm about to say it. Because my brain. my brain that whole time. I was like, Abba, Abba, Abba, Abba, Abba, Abba. Is that my dyslexia? I don't know because I know the right way to say it because even at the restaurant, they said,

Welcome to Ava, right? Avah, Ava. But I can't, I can't ever remember the right way. And it's not hard. It is kind of hard because of the band. Yeah, but it's A, BBA. Okay. And that's all. Abba. Okay. Abba. It is. Yeah. It's not a. Just call it wrong with me.

Just call it A. ABA. Now that sounds like an airport. Yeah. So I could go there. Yeah. I mean, I like Barcelona too. I guess we probably just need to make a list and then it's part of my little experiment.

But then that requires like getting ready. No, no, no. This is going to be a podcast. We need you to do this. I want you to commit. For the people? For the people? Once you commit to doing this, one, let's say two times.

And I want you to tally how many people try to make connection with you. What if it's so sad and nice and zero? We don't have to do it again. Nothing we know. But then, no, then we'll dissect like, are you open or were you furiously reading or something? Okay. You know? We can make some adjustments and then we'll go again.

People are going to approach you. You don't know that. We don't know that. We'll have to just see. And I need to ask your friend, is it matter the night of the week? Like, are we going on a... Don't go on a Friday night. This is a weeknight, cool, casual. So like a Wednesday, like a working Wednesday. Yes. With wind down working Wednesday. Yeah. And you have to be by yourself. Sorry, I can't go with you. Okay. All right. This is something that I shared with Kat before we started recording because I didn't know if she would really like it. And she was like, oh, I love that. And I thought, oh, okay. Well, then I guess we're going to be.

to talk about this. And this is how to make a compliment less about you and more about the person that you're complimenting. And if you're like, what? A compliment is making it about the other person. When I break this down for you, you're going to be like, oh, I get it now. It makes sense. So speaking of little challenges, like my challenge to go to the bar, Kat and I are going to be challenging ourselves to try to compliment this way. And y'all can too. For example, Instead of saying to someone, I love your dress, you say, you look stunning in that dress. Yeah, girl. You look so good.

You are wearing that dress. It is not wearing you. I'm just kidding. You could just say you look stunning. I know. You can give it simple. Instead of, I was so impressed by your presentation, you can try saying, you explained everything so clearly. Instead of I love your home, try, you've created such a beautiful, welcoming space.

It's just like you're removing the word, I love your dress and making it more about them. You look stunning in that dress. Instead of I love your home, it's like, wow, you've created a beautiful space. It's the opposite of when we're talking about expressing our feelings. We want to use I statements. It's the opposite. This is when it's appropriate to you statement it out. It's so simple, but I do think it makes...

Yeah, there are observations that make someone feel seen and more focused on the receiver than the giver. Yeah. I love it. Love it, love it. That's from elevate etiquette, which... My daughter and son are 19 and 15, respectively. And I want to send them to, like, Catillion or etiquette school. Did you do that growing up?

I did do Cotillion. But I just, also full transparency, full disclosure, it's on me. I raised them. What do you think they're not? I just, I don't know. Some stuff just etiquette-wise, we're missing. And I'm like, what have I done? Like they don't use the right fork?

Like the, no, because we have one fork or maybe the salad pork. We were out to dinner the other night with some friends. at a restaurant. And this is on me. The food came and not everybody's food was at the table. And generally, I thought I had raised them, let's wait for all the food to come. My daughter was pretty much almost done with her taco by the time everybody's food got to the plate.

And I was busy talking to the other mom. And then I look over and she's like scarf down her taco. And then we've all started eating. And then my son's like, we need a prayer. We need to pray. Whoops, we forgot to pray. So then halfway through our meal, we gather hands. Like our etiquette was just like all off.

Well, that's sweet that he remembered to pray. I think that is, yeah, I think generally people wait. Also, you don't wait too long because then your food's cold. And I get it. I am somebody who I don't want you to wait because I don't want you, especially if you're really hungry. Well, then we can check with the table. And then if everybody's like, oh, yeah, no, please go ahead. I get it.

And then one of the other kids at the table, my friend's son, was talking about how he hung out with this one guy. And then my daughter's like, ugh, I do not like him. I mean, I just thought, oh, when we got in the car, I thought, well, he may not have the same experience as you. And that sounded like that was one of us really good friends. So I don't know that across the table we need to yell. Like, I don't like that person or that, you know. It just was. Do they teach you that in Catillion, though?

No, I was joking about that. When I saw elevate etiquette, I just thought, oh, there are some etiquette things I want to go over with my kids, even when it comes to napkins. Like when you sit down at a restaurant, when you sit down in a restaurant, do you undo and put the napkin in your lap straight away? You know, sometimes if it's a nice restaurant, yes, but like at like a taco place. Your paper. No, I'm not putting that on my lap. It depends on the vibe. But when you were saying that, I just recently, when I was sick a couple weeks ago, I started watching.

the Queen's gamut. Oh, that's so good. The chest show? Yes. Okay. But you don't like it? Radio experience. Weekend gold tickets to Ilson Inc. One, two, three. Montreal with Dom Dalla, Chris Lakin friends, Woolly, Deadmouse, above and beyond,

sub-focus, and more. With flights from Porter Airlines, three nights at Residence Inn downtown Montreal, and $1,000 cash. Enter for your chance to win at iHeartRadio.ca. Il-Sanique in Montreal, every day you enter is another chance to win. Hey, I'm Hoda Kotby, host of the podcast Joy 101 with Hoda Kotbby. Okay, if you know me, you know this.

I'm always searching for inspiration, for support, and useful tools to help maximize joy. So this podcast lets us uncover all of that together. We're going to have these meaningful conversations with the world's most fascinating people, Like when actress Olivia Munn shared how she overcame fierce health challenges that she never saw coming. I've gone through breast cancer and then helped my mother through breast cancer, and that was more difficult. There's a lot of people who understand postpartner depression. I was not prepared for postpartum anxiety. Olympic champ Sean Johnson revealed why she had no choice but to be a gymnast.

There was something about gymnastics that was intoxicating to me. It's given me a belief that we all have one of those treasures inside of us. We just have to find it. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotby on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Munges shit together, and I'm back with a new season of the podcast Skyline Drive. This time I'm diving into a rabbit hole of peptides, organoids, blood boys, blue zones, and brain replacement to try to understand what this longevity obsession is all about and what it really means to live forever for all of us. I learned about some rad science. I can make a brain for you,

and then we can test what draw is the best for your brain, as opposed to his brain. Here are some hard truths. I would expect Indians to age faster, but I did not expect it to be almost a four-to-five-year acceleration. And get myself into a world of trouble. I'd say probably start bone smashing. That doesn't work.

Make it a look more defined. They say it works. I don't know. Listen to Skyline Drive, How to Live Forever on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Here's something that should not be as complicated as it is. Getting a racist statue removed.

And here's something that should be a whole lot easier than it is. Getting a new one put up in its place. As long as there's a politics of race in America, there's going to be a politics of remembering the Civil War. To get to school, I had to go down Robert Lee Boulevard, Get to the grocery store, I had to go down Jefferson Davis Parkway. If you're an historian and you leave out half of what the history is, you're not doing your job. I'm Akila Hughes, and Rebel Spirit Season 2 goes deep on both of those things.

The fights, the politics, the people who won, and my personal campaign to add something to the Kentucky State House that's actually worth the wall space. We are more than our bodies. We contain essence. We contain spirit. How do you represent that? They are just fueling a fire that is really catching. You'll see what I mean.

Listen to Rebel Spirit Season 2 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Queens Gamut? Oh, that's so good. The chess show? Yes. Okay. But you don't like it? So I told Patrick, I said, I just didn't expect there to be so much chess.

And he goes, it's a show about chess. But I thought it was going to be chess. And then there's, there is other stuff. but you're watching a lot of chess and I don't understand chess anyway I didn't finish it I will eventually but the reason I bring it up is in the beginning one of the I think it is the main character she's like at a boarding school and learning about manner some etiquette class and they are making the girls they're eating an orange with a fork and a knife yeah that's weird like how do you and she was cutting it and it like flew off the table and whatever.

I'm like, that's what happened to me. Who eats an orange fully, the skin on, cutting it with a fork and a knife? That's wild to me. So if that's what etiquette class is, I don't think I'm built for it. No, I suppose I don't really mean, like my kids need to go to full-blown etiquette school. It's just on me, like little things. Also, same dinner. We're almost done.

And my son's like, I have to go to the bathroom. Should I do it at home or do it here? And you know, he meant like number two. And so I was like, how about we not announced that to the entire table? I know. But I just thought, what am I doing wrong? What? Like, colleague.

What was your answer? Home. Okay. Like we're leaving. We're close to home. No, because then he'll be in the bathroom for the next 15 minutes because he's lactose intolerant and he forgot his lactate. And yes, they had cheese on his burrito.

So then I was like, let's just go. Let's get in the car. Let's go home. That's funny. Okay. Whatever you've done, you've given your kids great personality. Thanks. You're welcome.

Yeah. Speaking of personality, we got a voicemail from a listener. And when we go over these briefly, we kind of give them a child. topic of where they're going to fall. And the topic of this one is silly little star chart. So that's the topic. But she's talking about Kat and I's upcoming trip to Canyon Ranch. And this is from Julia in Wisconsin. She's 29, almost 30. Shout out another 20 year old listening to us. So happy almost birthday, Julia. And here's what she had to say. I was really excited to hear about your guys' upcoming trip to Canyon Ranch.

I'm doing the very Midwesty version of that this weekend. I'm going to a summer camp, but it's a women's retreat, so it's very yoga and meditation. And then we also have a lot of journal prompts to do. And I was on the committee for the event. It's a fundraiser for the nonprofit that owns this camp, that it has a mission of connecting youth with nature. And this is just a women's fundraiser, and I'm so, so excited to go. and it really just resonated that you guys are kind of on your own women's retreat with just the two of you to Canyon Ranch.

So not quite so glamorous. I will be laying at a lake, not a pool, but do have another good book lined up. And yeah, I'm so excited for you guys. But one thing I wanted to talk about kind of on my mental health and wellness journey right now is I bought this thing called a silly little star chart. And if you Google it, it comes up. But it essentially allows you to, like, create your own 75-day chart. challenge and I'm really been enjoying it because it comes with little stickers or you can do just the downloadable version and just challenge yourself to new things. So I started on May 1st,

so July 15th will be my 75 days and I feel like I've made so much progress in so many aspects of my life and I'm just really excited. So I'm feeling excited and I hope you guys have the day you need to have. I'm Julia from Wisconsin and I'm 29, almost 30. Hope you guys have a great trip to Canaan Grant and thanks for all the joy and smiles you bring. Okay, Julia, thank you for that. We love this idea. And I bet so many people listening right now are Googling silly little star chart so they can get started. I mean definition of whimsy.

Yeah, I love this. It's so cute. So thank you so much for this voicemail. I'm looking at the website right now for this because I've never heard of this. And you can do like silly little workouts, silly little quit. I think that's like if you want to quit something. It's like a start. This is adult star charts.

You know, like your don't pee the bed star chart you had as a kid. Like this is so whimsy. I love this. And there is something so motivating about a sticker. So I might order this, but I might just buy some stickers. Yeah. And you can just make your own chart. I don't think there's any rules about it.

We could even do silly little go to the bar alone and get somebody to talk to me, chart. And maybe I can do. a chart for my 19 and 15 year old kids and be like silly little don't talk about the bathroom when we're at the table you get a star don't eat your taco before everybody gets their food you're get a star speak kindly of other people's friends at the dinner table you're going to star oh there's a silly little chores you can do silly little etiquette see i could see myself doing this like laundry i love so that's not really a chore that i hate but if there's like i've got to organize my bathroom i'm gonna be like oh i'm gonna go tackle my silly little bathroom so i can get a

little amazon returns there you go and there's a silly little breakup i wonder like what that's about if you're like doing positive things after a breakup silly little books silly little chores yeah there's all kinds of cute things on here this is a great idea whoever invented this i like it well not that julia is the one that invented it but we'll credit her because she let us know about it so yeah thanks girl shout out we have another email that was a voicemail but we do have an email from lindsay to share with you hey my name is lindsay and i'm listening from austin texas in your episode this week cat talked about her fear around giving birth and i just wanted to say that i know exactly how she feels i had never had the desire to give birth because it honestly terrified me but i accepted that it was necessary when i was

pregnant with my first, I would tell people I wanted a twilight birth, which is what they used to do in maybe the 50s or 60s, where they would put the mother to sleep and then deliver the baby. Obviously, I was joking, but a little part of me was wishing it could be that easy. I'm here to tell you that both my babies were born without complications, and when you finally go into labor, you will accept that there's only one way this ends with the baby coming out and you just do it, vaginal or C-section. I can't really explain the mental shift that happened, but I hope it's the same for you. Have the day you need to have, Lindsay.

Okay, so when we got this email, I would say that the highlight and theme of this email is Twilight Birth. Yeah, who knew? Because Kat and I did not know that was a thing. So then we started reading about it. And that is a real thing. Yep. That should not have probably ever happened, but it did happen.

It was developed in Germany in the early 1900s. And it provided women. with a quote painless childbirth experience morphine was used to blunt physical pain scopalamine did i say that right i was going to say good job on that i have no idea i can't say abba or abba but i can say scopulamine uh induced a semi-conscious drowsy state and crucially amnesia saying like that was the most important part okay got it the goal mothers would and labor in a semi delirious state but wake up hours later with absolutely no memory of the event of the pain. Okay. Obviously, there's many, many reasons why this is no longer done. I've never given birth,

but even though it is painful and awful, isn't it so empowering and like you want to remember that experience? Like, I did this. I think so, but I just read something. Okay, what? It, that set, it's, I'm reading about the, like, the complications of this. Like, obviously there's, you're talking about, like, you're missing this, like, magical experience that people love. But also, one of the issues is because they were, like, delirious and, I don't know, not, like, fully present. The, the moms couldn't push. They couldn't actively push because they weren't, you know, aware.

So it increased the need for forced forceps delivery, which I guess that's, like, sticking the thing in there and pulling. pulling out. So then that's fetal, like distressed on the baby. Yeah, I think, yeah, I don't think, I think one of the reasons they don't do this is it definitely was not good for the baby. I, yeah, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Women. Suffocation upon delivery.

Oh, okay. Yeah. I wonder. So this should be just to make you feel good. Like, you're not having a twilight birth. So this is so beautiful. You're going to. I was going to say this wasn't that long ago.

So I wonder if we know anybody who experienced a twilight birth. like this is 19 developed in 1906 i don't know when they stopped doing it but like it was highly pop it says highly popular in the 1910s and 1920s now lindsay said something about 50s or 60s so i don't know how many decades it was going on but i wonder if like my grandma was delivered via twilight burn i can't ask her but crazy okay so yeah that does make me feel yes this is like it could be worse this is like it could be worse this could be what I would, I guess people when they did it, they thought it was good. I think I'm getting more excited about that process depending on the day.

Depending on also what TikTok videos I've seen that day. Yeah. We have another email and the topic of this one, I'll just put it, is crying. And let me tell y'all, we are sitting at my kitchen counter. I'm eating my saltless egg in a hat. And Kat and I are going over the episode and reading emails and looking through voicemails and talking. And Kat's like, oh my gosh, this email. And she starts reading it. At first, she's smiling and kind of fine. And then all the sudden, Kat starts crying. And she was like, I don't know

why I'm crying. This email isn't sad. The email is about crying. But just an email about crying was making cat cry. It was ridiculous. Like, are you going to cry right now? Because I'm telling the story about how you cried? No, I might cry if I read. Do you want me to read this? I think, or do you want to read it? I think you could try, but you should try. So let's see if you can get through it. And if not, no judgment, this is a safe space. Thank you. And I also need no judgment around I get out of breath really easily these days. So if you can hear my labored breathing as I read. So tell everybody how far along you are. 27 weeks. What fruit is the baby? I don't know. I'd have to look. Last week I was a spaghetti.

squash. A small one? Well, it's remember, we learned it's the length. Oh, yeah, that's right. So I don't know. I think maybe is next time eggplant maybe? I just feel smaller. Yeah, I don't know. I just bought a real large spaghetti squash the other day. And did we talk about this? My dog ate it. Oh, yeah. I saw that on Instagram. I was like, my dog's a goat. Raw. She got it off the counter with her grubby little paws and somehow got it open. Like, I can barely get a spaghetti squash open myself with a very sharp knife. But that's also like, yeah, yucky. I mean, dogs eat dog food. Yes, speaking of going the bathroom. Like it was, like seeds for days. She was having a good old time with that. But so baby is, we've said this sex or no? Yeah, it's a girl. A baby girl. I didn't, I couldn't remember.

I get so nervous. I don't want to ruin anything. So baby girl is a little bigger. The next thing after a spaghetti squash. And you are due in September. And your baby shower is in August. Yes. Everything's coming up. Kat texted me the other day. She was like, hey, my sisters are going to text you in case you want to, if you still want to help with the baby shower, no pressure, you don't have to.

And I was like, what? Well, first of I've told you multiple times. I want to be a part of helping with the baby shower. And I just replied, of course I want to. I just didn't want you to get a text from my sisters and you be like, this is weird that they're asking me to do it. Even though I know we talked about, I don't know. I just needed to put that out there that like you might get a text from them.

But also if you've changed your mind, it's also okay. But like if you did change your mind, I would be kind of like, why did change your mind? What would cause somebody, although I will say in couch talks this week. So on Thursday, we have an email from one of you about a rocky friendship. Like a friend that says really, or does and says really bizarre things. that is making this listener of ours, like step back and be like, what? Why am I friends with this person? So we'll be sharing that email. And I feel like this would fall into that category. Like, if I were to do that, that would be really weird. It would be weird. It would just be weird

because of how many times I brought it up. And then also, why would I change my, I mean, even if I was going to be out of town, which that could be a possibility because I've got a vacation around the same time. And I remember being at your house one night. I stopped by. I don't know. You and Patrick were having dinner. I don't know if maybe I ate a few of your nuggets. But we were talking and you were like, oh, well, that's your vacation. Like, don't change your vacation because it's a shower. But in my mind, I'm like, well, I probably would, like your shower. That's a big deal. This is your first baby. But let's say if I had an opportunity to go to Paris, like I've always wanted to go. Like I was really thinking this through in my mind. I was like, Kat would want me to go to Paris. Sure, you had a really good time at my baby shower. Right, because I did it. Right. Well, now we don't have to worry about that because our vacation is no, is not near your baby shower.

Same month, but weeks apart. And also, I thought about it. And I was like, okay, she would want me to go. So I would still go somewhere on my trip. But I would want to contribute to helping, like, get the shower ready, however I could. Because I would want to be a part of it. Did they text you? Not yet.

So then I'm like, did they not want me to be a part of it? I don't think so unless I miss their text which could happen I just missed a text from Bobby yesterday and he had to hit me up with a double tap question mark and I was like how did I miss that? Maybe I miss texts a lot but not from if it's work like I have this weird hyper like I have to yeah I wonder if maybe because there's three of them they don't know like who's texting Amy because that's weird so yeah they're still I'll check in on they maybe think the other person is I mean definitely think you're helping though because we were having a conversation and I was like well I'll pay for this or all do this or all whatever and no it will they were like we have like plenty of people helping

so I think they they assume you're helping that's like whenever what were we doing for your bachelor whatever I paid for the house no you didn't I know you paid me back for it because I was like you're not paying for that it's your back no I feel weird about that though because I'm asking people to come spend a lot of when you have a wedding you're asking a lot of people especially if you're in the wedding you to buy a dress you have to maybe people have to take off work for my wedding because it's on a Friday like and then you're going on this batorette trip we had did a we didn't do a laundress shower we did a comfy pajama shower but I don't want people to waste their money and yeah you're spending money at a place some people had to buy plane tickets yeah yeah I get it it adds up to a lot

to pay for my stuff like this it's a lot so I do I did appreciate that a lot but I also don't I'm not somebody who expects like to have that stuff that's true I don't either for me I get the same thing like I would be totally the same way you'd be like I'll pay for the bachelor's party for everybody I get that I would be but I was like no I don't want you paying for that and I I guess to that I'll say I guess I'm just thankful yeah we're in a position where we can do that but okay do we have an email from Julie sorry I'm circling back to the email about crying. Kat is going to give it a go.

And if she, if she's unable... You can take over. To finish, I will take over. I think I can do it since I've already read it one. Are you sure? Okay, here we go. Video experience. Weekend gold tickets to Ilson Inc.

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I think I can do it since I've already read it one. Are you sure? Okay, here we go. Hey, girls. Do you make me nervous? I'm like, really feel like I'm, like, giving me a speech right now. I can do this.

I've been listening to the Bobby Bone show for well over 10 years. And so I've heard just about every episode of four things, fifth thing, and every episode of feeling things. I totally understand. Okay, hold on. I'm not going to cry. I just think I feel a lot of pressure.

So, okay. If Julie is listening and y'all will hear this email, Julie's the person that sent this in. If she's listening right now and you start crying, we know for a fact Julie's crying. Oh, yeah. She's going to start crying. I totally understand cat's teary-eyed feelings. I have always been a pretty sensitive person.

My grandma used to tell me that I wore my feelings on my sleeves. But since having children, I have figured out that I cannot allow, this is what called me. Okay. I cannot allow anyone to cry alone in my presence, as Dolly Parton says and steal magnolias. And this is me talking. I just think that is so sweet. It is sweet. even just listening to you tear up on the podcast, get tears in my eyes too.

I could keep going though. I also want, are you crying? No, okay. You're letting me cry. You're crying. I know. I'm not like Julie. I mean, I'm not pregnant and I'm also not like Julie.

I think that's very sweet. Yeah. I sometimes might be moved by someone crying. But we've tried to read this email multiple times even before. still cats legit crying right now no it's okay you can let it out the thing is I'm not sad it's really sweet

because this is sweet yeah this is sweet yes thank you touching and I don't know if you guys remember but I cried watching a video about somebody packing a hospital bag like I've been crying at things that aren't emotional anyway carry on I can do this I feel good about it I also want to give you the best advice that I got for labor unfortunately it was advice that I got when I was pregnant with my second child, but it helped me realize that it was a perfect

simulation since I had already experienced it. You want to get some crunchy ice, like a bag from Sonic, and grab a big handful in your hand and squeeze it for one minute. Your hand will hurt. It hurts a lot. But the thing that makes the simulation so perfect is that when you let go, your hand goes completely back to normal. That is very much how a contraction feels. It hurts so bad when it's happened. But as soon as it's over, you feel completely back to normal. What's sad now? It just is like, I just think it's sweet. Like that sentiment, like you can do it.

Like, that's what I've been telling myself. Like, labor is going to be really scary, but you can do it. Oh, God. No, I feel awful because you're crying and I'm laughing. I'm crying more now than I was before. I just, this is just really sweet. I'm, guys, I'm stable. If any of my clients are listening, like, I am stable.

Oh, she's, cat's definitely stable. Yeah, it just, I mean, I've cried with my clients more lately, too, but it's been appropriate. Okay. Ooh, carrying on. The other thing that helped me with labor is knowing that my body just knows what to do. My job is literally to relax. That's it. That's my only job.

Just relax and let my body do what it needs to do. That helped me feel a lot less pressure, and I hope it helps you. I am a crazy labor lover and when I had my third child I cried because I knew it was the last time I would get to experience it. I think this is the most I've ever cried on this podcast. For sure. Praying that you also find joy and not just the beautiful times of motherhood but the painful times as well. Have the day you need to have your friend Julie from Kansas. She's 55.

And Julie, I wish I could give you a hug. I know. And it's on it. It's, it's hearing her. say when I had my third child, I cried because I knew it would be the last time I get to experience it. For me, I feel like a part of me hasn't ever experienced it. And I've accepted that I won't. I'm just accepted that I won't. However, could I? Maybe. Maybe. Is it a part of you? Maybe. I think there's a part of me that really

wants to know what it would be like to carry a baby and deliver it and have that bond. So, you know, that's a part I've had to grieve and let go. And so I can't imagine having experienced it and you know exactly what it's like. And you're having to grieve that it's over. But what's worse? I think they're both hard. Yeah, they're both hard. I mean, I'm not even really comparing them.

It's just that all of us are having different feelings around. someone's labor like there might be someone's like yep I delivered three never wanted to do it again you know there's just a spectrum don't send me an email I don't need that okay well thanks for sticking with me through that I'm proud of you I'm stable I just have a lot of feelings and this email to me felt like a hug like it was it almost felt like something like a mom would say to somebody yes and she quoted steel magnolia which is one of my top three favorite movies of all time. I've never seen it.

Oh, we're watching that on our. Should we? Yes. Should we? Yes. You are going to. We'll both cry. We'll both cry.

That's the thing about Steele Magnolius is you laugh, you cry. There's joy, family, all the feels, there's pain, like, there's anger. Okay. You think I can handle it? We might need like to watch an episode of Schitt's Creek or something. In between? Sure. We can.

No, I can do it. Wait. But there is humor. So you are laughing in the movie too. Did you ever watch that movie with Elizabeth Olson? It just came out. I can't think of the name of it. But it's about when she goes to heaven.

Let's look it up. Because if you haven't watched that, we're watching that. It's recent? Yes. Well, then I don't think I've. I have seen it because I feel like I would, oh, eternity. Yes. You haven't seen that?

Oh, it's so, it's funny. It says it's here. It's a comedy drama. I haven't seen it. I boohooed his, like, was hysterically crying during that movie. But it says it's a comedy. It is. I'm so confused.

So now are you going to cry during Schitt's Creek? There is an element to this. If you, if anybody listening has not watched this movie, I will say you, I don't want to say what it's about. Well, does it, I don't. Okay. It's a hard, I don't want to give anything away. I think as long as you read what's on IMDB, it's fine, which says, it says here, in an afterlife where souls have one week to decide where to spend eternity, Joan is faced with the impossible choice between the man she spent her life with and her first love, who died young and has waited decades for her to arrive.

Oh, man. Yeah. That sounds. Sounds hard. You're crying. You're crying. I read the, I just read the plot of the movie.

It's a really good movie and I really, we're going to watch it. I'm just going to say I'm going to cry. I don't know that you will, but I think you'll like the movie. I don't want to say anything else about it. But, okay, that's my recommendation. And then I'll watch Still Magnolias for you.

Unless you are against watching this movie. I don't want to force you. No, I want to watch it. This looks good. Okay. checking it. It's, I mean, it's, yeah, PG-13. Let's see what- If it was R, would you not watch it? No. I guess I'm just used to looking at ratings. Let's see. P.G. Steel Magnolius says PG, so. Okay, so we're good. But that's interesting. I feel like some of it would actually be.

Do you think the ratings were different back then? Like, it was like. Maybe. I mean, you're dealing with, like, there's some, yeah, harsh comments from some of the characters. Deaf. Okay, it says a young beautician newly arrived in a small town in Louisiana. She finds work at the local salon where a small group of women share a close bond of friendship and welcome her into the fold. And that definitely doesn't give anything away. No, I have no idea what it's been. But you know that Dolly says in the movie, I cannot allow anyone to cry alone in my presence. They all have accents. And she has babies. And you're having a baby. And she's getting married and you got married. There's a lot of similarities. You've gotten your hair done before.

They have a hair salon. There's a line in the movie where she's, her colors are pink and pink. And I think it's her mom that says something like, your colors are pink and pink. And she goes, my colors are blush and bashful. Oh. What does she mean by that? Very specific. Those are her specific pink colors.

They're not just pink and pink. Oh, can I give an update on my paint color for my baby room? Now you said that? Absolutely. So you know how we talked about hushed Auburn? And people have been invested in this. Well, about three or four people that have messaged me about it. Hushed Auburn is a paint color.

Yeah. Hushed Auburn is a paint color from Sherwin Williams. It is a color that looks when you see it on, line, it kind of looks like a mauve color, but it's actually a more brownie-orangey. So, update, you had convinced me to use it because then if I have a boy, I don't have to repaint the room because it wasn't actually pink. Well, I did a little testing. I learned a great lesson.

Do not just paint your house the color because it looked good in a TikTok. Paint it in that specific room because depending on the look. light or whatever, it might look different. This hushed Auburn and my in the nursery room looked, I mean, I don't know if I sent you the pictures. I think I did. It looked like a, um, rub rust, like just straight up rust, which wouldn't work. That's not the vibe.

So I ended up going, this very, this surprised me. I ended up going with an actual pink. It's called dressy rose. And it's like a subtle pink color. It actually looks really good. I like it. I didn't think I would like a pink room. But if you're looking for a pink color for your nursery, I suggest look at dressy rose.

Dressy rose. Dressy rose. Okay. And then, I mean, for your son, if you have a boy, you can just. Well, I think I decided I'm making this room super cute. She's going to stay in there. Okay. And then we'll just.

Also, I hear second kids, you like, are like, oh, here. There's a closet. I think a crib will fit in here. The room's painted gray. already, so. It's fine. Okay, well, thank you all for sending in voicemails and emails. I know this isn't couch talks, but we threw some in here today just because we thought they were follow-ups to stuff we talked about before on feeling things, and we love hearing from y'all. So hit us up. 877-207-2077 is where you can leave us a message. As always, we love your name, where you're calling from and your age, if you're willing to

share, but no pressure. You can also remain anonymous. Just let us know. You can send an email as well. Hey there at feeling things podcast.com. And we hope wherever you are right now, whatever it is that you're doing, that you have the day you need to have. Bye. Bye. I'm Munga Shatikula and I'm back with a new season of my podcast, Skyline Drive.

This time I talked to scientists, biopunks, curmudgins, blues owners, super seniors, and Goa's top cryotherapy lab to try to understand this obsession with living forever and what it means for all of us. I get into a bit of trouble along the way. I'd say probably start bone smashing. That doesn't work. To make it look more defined. They say it works.

I don't know. Listen to Skyline Drive, How to Live Forever on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Your husband is not who you think he is. Your body is not what you thought it was. Your identity is formed by a secret history. I'm Danny Shapiro.

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