The Bobby Bones Show - GET REAL WITH CAROLINE HOBBY - Getting Real with Alana Springsteen: Healing Out Loud
Episode Date: August 1, 2026From singing onstage at 7 to moving to Nashville at 14, Alana Springsteen has spent her life chasing a dream. Now, with her new album, I Hope This Helps, over 400 million streams, her first Gold recor...d, and a #1 hit with Tiësto, she’s proving vulnerability can be just as powerful as ambition. I truly feel like we have the same brain, and it was so inspiring to talk about our mental states, how she grew up too fast, healed inherited patterns, evolved her faith, and is finding identity beyond success, plus what it really takes to become yourself.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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I'm here with Lana Springsteen.
Let's go.
I think the first time I met you was at Trani's Baby Shower.
That's right.
It was so random and like I feel like just serendipitous.
I've known Trani since I was like 12.
How?
Oh, my God.
By the way, Trani is an amazing songwriter.
What's her new last name?
Anderson.
Tranny Anderson.
She moved to town.
She's from my hometown of Waco, Texas.
I knew her when she was a kid.
She wanted to be a songwriter.
And now she's here writing for people like,
Alana Springsteen.
I love her story so much.
If you don't know Tranny, you know her songs.
Yeah.
For sure.
And she's just like, I just love her so much because, like,
this was her calling and she is just doing it.
Yeah.
So what did you all write together?
So we started writing back when I was not even driving.
Like, I moved to Nashville.
when I was 14, signed a publishing deal.
How did you get to Nashville when you were 14?
I mean, girl, there was never a plan B for me.
Like I always knew.
I always knew.
There was just like, I felt like it was my purpose.
And granted, I, my family's not in the industry at all.
I grew up in a small town.
So there was no, like, path to follow.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Both my granites are pastors.
Okay.
So there was no, like, set path to follow.
It was very much, like, figure it out as you go, just walk through the doors that open.
But it was God the whole way through.
and when I got to Nashville for the first time,
it was just like an instant fell in love with it.
It was an instant love affair.
I just felt like for the first time,
I was with people that spoke the same language.
I always say like music is my first language.
It's how I process my emotions.
It's how I have my hardest conversations.
And for the first time, it was like,
okay, I don't feel like an outlier anymore.
I just feel like I fit.
You know, these people get it.
So my parents were amazing.
enough to. They took you here. Yeah. We would take quarterly trips. We would drive 12 hours in the car
to come to Nashville four times a year. Virginia Beach. So they were like here for the dream.
Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. I mean, I'm grateful that they, they're kind of, the way they grew up to
was a little untraditional. Like they had me when they were 20, dropped out of college and just kind of.
Yeah. Were they married? They weren't married. Okay. So.
It was a little bit drama.
So were they,
or were their parents at sex?
Because both their parents are preachers?
Oh, yeah.
I mean, it was drama.
And they were going to Liberty University.
So is that even more?
It's just like a very Christian,
especially back then when they went.
It was like super don't hold hands in public.
Don't like a super conservative Christian.
And you talk about a note to sell like that song,
how you wrote that for you,
but also for your mom.
Also for my mom.
Okay.
Yeah.
I mean, there's so much to dig into there.
But they tell this story now.
Like when they thought they might be pregnant,
they were scared to even go out and buy a pregnancy test because classmates might see them walk into
the Walgreens or whatever. It was such a small town. So there was just a lot of guilt and shame that
they started their marriage with, I think. Oh, that's hard. If that makes sense. It's hard.
And it's hard because, like, we were talking right before we got into this, like, and I love your song,
Same God. I feel that so much because, okay, I'm scattered raining. I'm like, I'm squirreling.
That's okay. But I'm going to.
come back around. So I relate to you so much because I feel like I moved here from a small
town of Waco, Texas. I had an incredible family. Nobody was in the music industry, but just like a good
family, good values, all the things. But I always felt like, okay, I have to get out of here.
Like, I have to get to where all the creative people are, even though it was a great,
amazing community. Yeah. And so I get to Nashville and I just feel like I was, I have just
been searching my whole life. I have been searching my whole life. I've been looking for
answers. I thought maybe people had the answers. I thought maybe love would be the answer. I thought maybe,
you know, God is the answer, but like I didn't know where to find God because you grow up with one
example of God through church. And then that didn't always like totally sit perfectly well with me.
Like I knew that there were parts about the religious aspect that I learned in church that weren't
totally aligned with me. And then I just didn't know where I belonged. And then I always felt like
I was unworthy. And I just have been searching my whole life. So when I heard your album, like, and
heard note to self and same God. I was like, oh my God, you're brave enough to write all this,
though. Yeah. Because that takes bravery to speak that out loud because you're kind of telling your
upbringing and your family, like, I love you so much, but like, this is me and all of my mess that I
am trying to discover and I'm trying to really figure out who I am and I'm not afraid to voice
the messy parts. And I was so scared to speak that out loud. How did you get that bravery? Because that's so
terrifying because you don't want to let your family down. You don't want to let your
god down or religion or whatever you've grown up with, but you know you have to go figure it out.
Sometimes it's a mess and sometimes you make mistakes, but you're writing about it.
Totally. How are you so brave? Oh my God. Well, thank you. I had not felt brave this whole way through,
but you probably feel like nervous and sick. You know, it's funny you even mentioned that word because I look back.
I think this journey started a little sooner than I even would like to admit. Like when I released 20-something
There's like three parts.
Yeah, three parts.
I didn't get a lot to say right off the bat.
Well, granted, I had been in town for probably eight years at that point.
Okay, so it was just the collection.
I had been writing.
And it was like songs that I had written within a season of my life.
But it just like wrote itself in a way.
And when I wrote the title track, it was just like those songs were me starting to ask the real questions.
And what were the questions you were wanting to know?
Hmm.
Why?
am I such a people pleaser?
Same.
Why do I, why am I so good at shape-shifting?
Why am I so quick to abandon myself for other people?
How did you even know you were doing it though?
It took me so long to figure that out.
So I had a little bit of a wake-up call.
I dated a guy who lied to me about everything you ever told me.
And we were together for about nine months, but it shook me to my core.
I mean, when everything came to light.
So he was essentially a con art.
He was pretending to be a professional golfer
Had me fooled had my parents fooled
Had my friends fooled
Like kept us gone for a while
That's a big front to hold
It was crazy
And looking back still I'm like half expecting there to be a Netflix
Documentary at any minute about this man
And be like oh my God there he is on my TV
But like all jokes aside
It really did shake me
It rocked my trust in other people
I was so trusting like so naive
so optimistic about everything.
I wanted to see the best in people.
And it also rocked my trust of myself,
which was the worst part of it.
And I realized that,
God, if I can be so wrong about this,
like what else in my life am I getting wrong?
And I realized that I was living my life
for other people for so much of my life.
I'm the oldest of four kids,
you know, firstborn daughter to like babies practically.
They were 20 years old when they had me.
So I just, like, learned from a really young age before I even knew what.
I was doing how to take care of other people and abandon my own needs.
So, okay, note to self, I have like all the lyrics on here because there's things I wanted to talk to you about that.
It's like your younger brothers are crying and you were soldiering, hiding in your bedroom, trying to keep it locked up inside.
You just ignored all the sirens.
If I could go back in time, I tried to write it out, note to self.
And then this part, I'm going to cry.
Because you say, I know you had to get us through some hell.
You couldn't put a name to what you felt because you never hurt like that before.
But you aren't alone anymore.
I got you not.
Like, you went back for your younger self.
That is, it killed me.
You're going to make me cry, girl.
But, like, that is it because I just went back from my anger.
I've been trying to go back from my younger self for so long.
And it took me until, like, 40 to even know how to do that.
But, like, you went back and you got her.
Oh, I did.
That's what I felt like.
Yeah.
It felt like, so a big part of, like, the tools that have really helped me through this process,
one big thing has been therapy.
And I had to really, like, find that on my own because coming from a family that's very religious,
you know, Southern Baptist Christian, there's so much stigma around therapy.
Yeah.
I got so many calls from family members that were like, why are you seeing a psychiatrist?
Like, they're going to brainwash you, you know, pray about it.
go to see a Christian counselor.
So is your childhood trauma mainly around the church a little bit?
Not in like God.
I'm not talking about God.
There's so much to dig into there.
Yeah.
I would say like a big part of the work I've done is separating,
separating, yeah, we're like the,
where people get involved in religion.
To me it's like faith on one side and religion on the other.
and I have more issues with religion.
Same.
Yeah.
And with faith.
Like, faith has been so intrinsic to me my whole life.
And it's like something I'm so grateful for in the way I was raised.
I was raised to know that there was something bigger that it wasn't just about like living life for yourself.
Good morals.
They taught me where to go with my questions.
But there was also so much guilt and shame and rules and just like checked boxes and judgment, like us versus them.
and all of these semantics that I'm grown up
and I've realized like, what does it matter?
Like it's the same God at the end of the day.
What is it matter?
Why are we getting so caught up on these things?
Yeah.
But I mean, going back to that therapy,
finding therapy for myself was like massive.
And I started doing.
No, I went a couple times.
I went a couple times.
That was like my intro to therapy.
And then my co-writer Laura Veltz,
who you probably know.
Yeah, she's a legend.
And just one of the kindest human beings.
and she introduced me to my therapist.
Oh, nice.
Yeah, so she was like, you need to see my girl.
And it changed my life.
I started doing EMDR.
Oh.
That was a massive shit for me.
So is that where you go back and you talk to your child?
So that's a lot of where I think note to self kind of originated from
because I was able to go back into these moments that I maybe didn't even remember.
But through, like, following the red chrome trail of emotions, you get back to these
moments where it's like, wow, that really cemented.
this pattern in my life, this core belief of like, you can't show emotion, you have to be strong.
Like that moment in the first first, a moment in the first verse where it's like, you know,
your parents are fighting, your younger brothers are crying, you were shoulder, like, that was a
memory that I had come up and I had this vivid memory of like my parents when they were going
through something like really fighting.
I had two younger brothers, one younger brother, and then the other one was just a baby.
And, like, he was little, little.
And I just, my instinct in that moment was, like, grab my brothers, don't let them hear
my parents fighting, go into my room, shut the door, like, entertain them.
Just be strong.
Like, and I was terrified in that moment.
But for me, it was, like, soothe my crying brother, entertain this other brother, like,
make sure that they don't feel any of this chaos and protect them at all costs from that.
How did you even know to do that?
I think it's instinctual.
Like, when you're a kid, like,
And when you're raised the way I was,
I was kind of a third parent a bit to my brothers.
Your parents are so young.
They're so young, yeah.
And we were all so close.
Like we're all homeschooled.
So we grew up spending a lot of time together.
And I mean, I just, I never looked at it in another way.
To me, it was just, um, my therapist taught me this too.
It's like, as a kid, you don't know how to differentiate like what is your fault and what's not.
You just think everything is your fault and you do what you can to fix it.
So do you think like your parents fighting was your fault?
Of course. That's what kids just kind of assume. Like when you grow up in houses like that where there's a lot of turmoil, it's just like, it must be something wrong with me. What can I do to fix this? So like going back into moments like that where I was just like, in that moment, I picked up this self-defense mechanism, like armor that you put on yourself. And it's like, don't show emotion. Be strong. Your job is to protect people. And don't show them your weak. Don't show them. It's.
affecting you, like put on a brave face. So did everyone just always think you had it together?
Yeah. Like, like, Alana's fine. I had this conversation with my dad too where I was like,
Dad, I don't think I ever cried until I was like 18, unless I hurt myself, unless I was physically
hurting, but I never cried. And he was like, that's right actually. Like, I don't remember
seeing you cry as a kid. I always thought that was kind of weird. But everyone just thought you were
okay. Everyone thought I was just good and easy and genuinely happy all the time. And I know you weren't
okay then? No. I wouldn't have had words to put to it. I think my whole life though I've struggled with
when you have, I was such an empath like from an early, early age and I didn't know that until
recently and I've really had to learn to, um, like, word with it. Yeah. And like realize, yeah,
it's a superpower, but it also needs to be protected. And you can't absorb. I'm such an empath to.
Are you a four on the anyagram? Yeah, I'm a three, four. I'm a three four. I'm like, I knew you were a four.
I'm a three, four. And I literally, like, I say all the time, I live at the bottom of the drain.
Like, I am like literally just always an emotional wreck. I feel everyone's feelings. Like, I will walk into a room and if somebody has a bad feeling or is off, I immediately feel like I have to go.
Yes.
Fix it. Yes. I have to go energize. I have to go alchemize the energy to make sure they're happy.
We're the same. I know. That's why when you wrote your album, I'm like, this is me so much because I, and I just like, I have so.
much mad respect for you for putting these feelings into words and putting them out there in the world
because I have been terrified and I still am at 43 years old and I'll cry about it right now.
I cry every day. I don't know if you do. Do you know?
I do now. Much more. Much more. Yeah. But I love it. I love it. I love it's terrified of someone
I love being disappointed in me. Oh. You know. Being disappointed to me and not just someone I love,
but I'm also terrified of like anyone being disappointed in me. Like anyone. If anyone. So where does that come from
for you. Do you know? I'm such a people pleaser. I mean, it has to come from my upbringing.
I think I'm born with this personality, first off. But then also, I just am a high functioning
codependent, which I finally realized after I hired a life coach and like try, I've tried to do
everything. You need like three different therapists and a life coach. Everything you can do to try
to fix your brain. I have done it because I'm like, I am so insane. And like everything breaks my
heart, the world is crushing to live in.
Yeah.
Like, people's feelings kill me.
And then, like, disappointing someone.
So I hear your words and I'm like, how are you able to do that?
And, like, writing same God and then going and playing it for your grandparents.
Oh, my God.
When you're talking about taking shots and, like, I think you even talk about hooking up with
someone in there?
I was like, did you do that?
I would have died one million deaths, but, like, I did that same life.
But I just hit it in the shadows and tried to still act like I was following.
the perfect path because I didn't want them to be disappointed. How did you do that? Man, it's terrifying.
I remember that specific moment, like, going back home and the song was about to come out.
So granted, I was like, I want to be respectful and, like, play it for them and, like, allow them to
digest it so they don't hear it with the rest of the world, you know? But that moment, my heart
was racing. I was so nervous. You probably couldn't tell because, again, I'm good at hiding emotion,
right? I'm like, I'm totally fine right now. Everything's fine. It's all fine. Everything's fine. We're good.
But I was freaking out.
And that was the most honest conversation I've ever had with my grandparents.
Like, we grew up also living in the same house as them.
So in a way, they're like, my parents.
Like, yeah.
I mean, my, every single morning I would wake up and, like, sit around the kitchen table and have coffee with my grandparents and talk.
And, like, they are, not only is my granddad, my pastor, but he's also like this incredible, like, figure in my family that I look up to so much.
That is voice in the song?
Yeah, it is.
And that actually is from a phone call that we had where,
He was basically telling me that he was worried for me and scared I was going down a dark path and upset that I was seeing a therapist and all of this stuff.
So this is a big song for them.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They probably didn't even.
So, okay.
So I played it for him.
And, you know, A, I realized, like, in that moment, it was important for me to go into it knowing, like, I'm doing this for me.
Like, I don't need anything from them.
I'm not expecting anything from them.
I'm just doing this because I want to.
have honesty with my relationships and honesty with myself.
And it was really tough because after that song...
I just say I admire you so much.
Thank you.
That is so brave.
That means a lot.
Thank you.
Well, I know.
A lot of this work is like invisible.
That's the thing.
And it's so...
There's no gratification.
It's soul crushing.
It's for you, though.
Yeah.
To you to say, I'm going to be who I am.
Yes.
And I'm going to tell the people I love who I am.
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Hey, what's up y'all?
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And we're the host of everyone watches women's sports, a new podcast from Together and IHart
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So much of the past two years has been me keeping promises to myself and, like, building trust with myself.
Because for so many years, I let myself down.
I abandoned myself.
And as you do that, your body will see.
stop listening. It will start going, okay, if you don't want to hear us, we'll shut the fuck up
and just like deal with it. And for me, that came out in like health issues.
Because you said another post where you could never eat junk food or anything.
I couldn't, I couldn't, it got to the point where I couldn't eat anything without getting
incredibly bloated and like in pain, just so much pain. And it was my body going, we've reached
our limit, girlfriend. Like, you've got to, we're trying to tell you, we're trying to tell you
something's wrong. We're freaking out. We're screaming.
And it really has opened my eyes, too, to, like, how much love my life I've spent living out of my body, too, like, dissociating from my body.
And now learning, like, where do I feel fear?
Where do I feel anxiety?
Where do I feel happiness, joy?
In different places?
Yeah.
And, like, learning to be more embodied, and that's translated into live shows, too.
Like, being able to get up on stage and not dissociate because I'm nervous or anxious or being.
perceived, but just like, I'm here because this is my purpose and I get to enjoy being here.
I get to perform just for me.
And by doing that, it gives them permission to just experience it for them and show up however
they are.
But performing just for you, I mean.
Yeah, that was something one of my therapists told me where I was like, it sounds so simple,
but I think most of my life I've been like grading myself based on reactions.
I'm just going, am I good enough yet?
Am I good enough yet?
Are you having fun?
Are you, like, are you getting what you need out of this instead of going, am I getting what I need out of this?
Like, I'm up here because this is how I communicate.
This is how I metabolize emotion.
This is my gift.
And I'm allowed to enjoy this.
Like, I'm allowed to call this my job and also really enjoy this and have fun.
So what does your grandparents say?
So my nana, my granddad, A, funny but not funny.
He's kind of getting to that age where he's losing his hearing.
he's got a little bit of dementia setting in.
God bless him.
So I think most of it probably went over his head.
Like after I sang, he just broke out into singing a hymn.
Like he didn't even really like address it.
My nana on the other hand was like, I just, and she's,
there's so much I could say about my nana too.
We're similar in a lot of ways.
But I have so much more empathy for her now
because she spent most of her life silencing herself.
Like I noticed that now.
She's such a deep feeler and she's so soft-spoken, like so afraid to speak her mind, so afraid to ruffle feathers.
And like when there were ever arguments in our family chaos, like she would disappear and just go play the piano.
And music was her therapy.
And I never realized that I got that from her until one of the last trips to home.
And I was like, wow.
Like I noticed that.
And I was like, that's exactly what I do.
That's the same in that way.
But she was just like.
That's really powerful and beautiful.
Yeah, that worse, more similar than I ever thought we were.
Except for now, you're speaking.
Yeah, right.
Which honestly is honoring her, even if they don't even realize it, like, you're speaking your voice.
So after I played the song, she basically was just like, I just have one thing to say, like,
there's a difference between judging someone and being fearful for them and showing concern.
And she was like, you know, if you saw me on a path that was hurting me and like that you felt was bad for me and dark, I would want you to say something to me.
So that was kind of her lens.
And I was like, okay, fair.
And I expected that.
Like, you know, it's so hard to hear that.
How does that sit?
Because it's still like unresolved.
You're still like on your own path.
That's the thing too.
It's like where I relate to you so much is like I always felt that way.
And I was like, I was always so envious of the people who just could.
say like this, like my sister, for instance.
Like I'm so envious of her because she knows the way, the black and white way.
Like she knows the truth.
Yeah.
And she doesn't need to go explore outside of those boundaries.
Actually exploring outside of the truth is very painful for her.
She knows her truth or the truth?
And it might be in her mind both.
Okay.
You know?
Yeah.
For me, I'm like, it's all splatter paint.
Like the whole world is like just a giant splatterpain.
And like this could be the truth and this could be the truth and this could be the truth.
And what if that's the way?
And that person has an idea.
And, like, this looks like I might want to try that.
And, like, I need to know, I need to try all this.
And, like, I do want to go get drunk.
And I do want to make out.
And I do want to do these things that I know necessarily aren't.
And now I have 43, I definitely am through that.
I'm on the other end of the spectrum.
And now I'm like, sober as a goat, man.
I mean, if you still want to go get drunk, like, let's go have some tequila.
I've been sober for almost four years now.
Oh, congrats.
I mean, but not because honestly, my husband decided he wanted to.
You feel better?
Alcohol was terrible.
for me. I don't know being a four if you have this, but like, it just made me more in my feels.
I would either cry, pick a fight, or want to make out, but then fight.
I feel like I'm probably right behind you there because I noticed some of those patterns
sometimes. I'm not fun. I don't drink a ton, never have, but like, I have a feeling I'll
be right behind you on that. Like some people are like, whoa! Let's go! Spring break!
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, all my feelings are worse. And now, like, I just like, I want to
crawl under a blanket and cry about it or yell at someone or scream yeah um yeah i i think i will say to that
like there are just like different types of people and i think we're created differently for that
reason but i've i've started to see it as a gift that needs to be productive it's like not a right
or a wrong way to live but in my opinion if you just innately have that curiosity and your soul like
you just need to experience.
You just want to color outside the lines
and figure out where your right path is.
And figure out your truth.
That's what you need to do.
Like for me, I know.
Sometimes you have to go too far one way
to realize that's too far.
And for me, I know I never would have been able to
be so confident in where I am now
and like the life I'm living and the choices
I'm making what I am convicted about
if I hadn't allowed myself to ask hard questions
and like disappoint people.
And you just follow suit.
Yeah.
I don't learn just by like copying someone else.
I have to learn.
I have to live it.
And I mean, that's so artist of me, right?
I'm like, I need all the experience.
I want to do it all.
But I think it's a little bit of a gift and the way I see it to and the purpose of this album, honestly, was to create a space where people like me can feel validated in that.
And like it's not a, it's not a flaw.
It's actually like your superpower to be able to live all of this experience and then like turn it into something that other people can learn from an experience and like digest.
And I, this album is not me going like, I've done all the healing.
I've got all the answers.
Got it figured out.
It's more going.
I actually am recognizing now that I don't have a lot of answers that I thought I had.
And that's okay.
Like, this is a space where I want people to feel like they can ask questions and be curious and not feel guilt and shame because of it.
I think it's amazing.
And I think I just want, I want to validate you because you have validated me with this album and say that, like, I always have felt shame for the way that I am.
Like, I have felt shame my whole life.
Yeah.
Because I feel like I'm just like, why am I a disaster?
Why am I such a mess?
like why can I not just like figure this out?
Like why can I not just like stay on this straight and narrow?
Like why do I have to go and do all this exploring and searching and like hearing your album
and seeing you talk about this so bravely and honestly I'm like, okay, it makes me feel like
this is a beautiful thing.
And it is great that like there are people in the world who want to go to the depths
of their emotions and experience all of it.
Some people don't need that.
Some people don't want to do that, and that's terrifying for them.
But some people like you, and I relate to you so much, have to go to all these depths of every corner that their imagination can come up with and feel.
Like, if you have a curiosity, you have to go there and find out if it's for you or not.
Yeah.
And then you come back and you recalibrate.
And now you have your own alignment.
But it's yours.
Yes, girl.
So true.
And I feel that in your songs.
And I am just, but I'm going to say it again, I'm just so proud of you for being so brave.
to speak it out loud, especially at 25 years old.
God, that means a lot.
Thank you.
It's so healing.
I was sitting there listening in the car and I was crying my eyes out and I was another one of these lyrics that hit me so freaking hard.
Was it same God?
I think, oh, love me anyway.
All the in your feels ones.
Oh my gosh.
And it's this one.
It's like, okay, where is the part that I'm fine?
Okay, it's like, because I drink too much.
I get too high.
I wake up next to someone I can't take back home.
I've spent some nights that ain't like the way you raised me.
If you knew, would you still pick up the phone?
If I told you everything, would you pray for me to change?
Or would you love me anyway?
I don't know I still got a crossroad on my neck,
but I'm standing at a crossroads of where I've been
and where I'm going to be.
Yeah, I just want to know that you're still listening.
And I'm like, man, because isn't that God's love ultimately?
It's like, in like coming back to the origin of it all,
like, doesn't God love us anyway?
when you talk about same God, it's like you're just out there in the big middle trying to find
your truth and be real to you.
But it's like, are these people going to love you when you are the mess?
Yeah.
When you are in the big, messy middle.
Yeah.
When you aren't walking the straight and narrow.
You're not lost.
You're lost, but you're not.
You're just, you're looking for yourself and you have to go through the woods.
So right.
And I wrote that with Traini, actually.
You did?
And it was like the first song.
Let's circle back to Trani.
I know.
She is such a gods and has been for me.
Like I wrote note to self with her.
No way.
Like every time that I have an idea that I'm terrified of, I take it to her.
Which is amazing because she's so rude in her faith.
Oh my God.
Which has to feel so comforting too to know someone's so grounded in God is also saying yes.
Also a safe place.
Safe place to explore.
For the mess.
Yeah.
For the mess.
It's been such a God thing.
Like I literally typed out those chorus lyrics basically verbatim into my phone like a late night crash out.
I was in my feels.
I was just going through it.
And I was at the beginning of realizing that the path that I felt I was meant for
was so different than the one I was taught to live.
And I knew it was going to be a shake-up.
I knew it was going to be shake-up.
I knew it was going to be pretty isolated through it and have to do it on my own.
Which in reality, you're really not doing anything that crazy.
I know.
You know?
When I step back on it, I'm like, it's really not that crazy.
I know.
But when you come from such a loving, protective family,
they just want you to be safe.
Yep.
And get into heaven.
And here's the thing that helped me to is like,
I grew up believing in a literal heaven and hell.
Like a hell where you burn for eternity if you don't do X, Y, and Z.
Yeah.
Right.
And my parents believe in that.
And I was taught that as like a four or five, six year old kids.
Like reciting these verses about like burning and being tormented for eternity.
I'm like, don't you think that's a little traumatizing for, like a five year old mind cannot
comprehend that concept, even if it is true.
So my parents believe that to their core.
And, you know, that's for them.
Like, that's great for them.
Totally.
And if I truly did believe that and I felt like someone I loved was doing something
that would send them to a place of endless torment, that's how I would react to.
I would try everything in my power to save them, to go, nope.
pull you back over here.
I can't let you make those decisions because it's going to cost you more than you know.
And the thing is we just believe differently about that.
Yeah.
And explaining that to them has been so hard.
It's like, yeah, I know this is your truth, but it's not the way I choose to live life.
I don't want to come at life from a place of fear.
I want to come at, like, I want to be close to God and, like, one with my faith,
be out of a place of love and just, like, dedication to it and not fear.
Not doing it because you're scared.
you're going to burn and help.
Yes.
But because I, like, I know this is right.
I know he has a purpose for me.
I know this is the path.
And that's been a big part of, like, this album and a lot of these songs is it's just a call
to embrace, like, curiosity and acceptance and openness over fear and judgment.
That to me is, like, the best way I can sum up what this album represents for me.
And I just think the world could use a lot more of that,
especially sometimes in these extremely religious communities.
Like it's so easy to go, we're right, you're wrong.
Yeah, forget grace.
Forget forgiveness.
Forget love, forget empathy.
And remember how Jesus was.
Jesus wasn't like that.
Exactly.
He was with all of the sinners.
Yeah.
But when I wrote, Love Me Anyway, it was kind of a threefold question.
And the first verse is to myself.
The second verse is to my family.
And the bridge is to God that still got a cross around my neck,
but I'm standing out of crossroads.
And that was a line that was a line training had.
Like she saw the cross that I wear this all the time.
And she was like, came up with that line.
I was like, oh, my God, that just wrecked me.
Because you're right in that God, God's love is perfect love.
And I grew up thinking that they were content.
contingencies on it rules rules on it like I need to present myself a certain way for God I need to when I pray like I'm I can't be fully honest like right there's almost like you got performance and even prayer and like that that communication and I think I had to allow myself I think I've learned that like testing your faith is is so important and it's a concept that ruffles a lot of feathers like
The idea that doubt is the antithesis of faith, but actually it's the past who faith.
Yeah.
Like if you're not doubting, if you're not asking questions, like, you're probably going to have pretty weak faith that's not going to hold up in the reality of life.
Like the, how gray life can be sometimes.
And like, you know, in those moments where, you know, I was taking shots backstage and I'm, you know, living a life that my parents would definitely not approve of in a lot of ways.
I would have prayed for me like 10 years ago.
You know, I would have been the type of person that I would pray for.
And now I'm realizing that, God, it's so much less like about the checked boxes and the
rules and more about just the your heart position, like how you're living life, where
you're living life from, how you show up for other people.
And my faith has gotten so much deeper through this process.
And it's yours.
Yeah, and it's mine.
And it's like not something.
I'm performing, it's something that I'm wrestling with every day and learning more about
and practicing and it's just a lot more, it's ever evolving, I think, as it should be.
How are you emotionally with your family?
Like now that this album is out, now that you have these huge songs, these big conversations,
how is it with them?
Do you get like a sick feeling in your stomach sometimes?
are you guys like...
Yeah, I mean, you see my body language.
I'm like immediately like,
I would never be able to do what you did.
So I'm just wondering, how has it been?
Yeah.
Because I probably will just die,
never expressing my full truth.
That's not true.
I mean, sort of.
It might be.
I'm expressing somewhere,
maybe not publicly, because I'm too afraid.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Yeah, my...
Making this album
in a lot of ways was
was the most terrifying because of my family.
Like there was so much that I was writing about for the first time about my childhood,
about the way I was raised.
And I'm so...
And you're bringing them into it.
I'm so protective of them.
Always have been.
I told you that story about me as a kid.
Like, that's how I've approached everyone in my family.
It's very much like block you from everything.
Shield you from everything.
Protect you at all costs.
Like, be whatever I need to be for you.
So now you're saying this is how I feel.
It was like...
Yeah.
With you.
I'm going to tell my story.
and not with the intention of like putting a spotlight on you or hurting you in any way,
but telling this story because I hope it helps somebody else.
Somebody else out there might need it or relate to it or see themselves in it and find something beautiful from it.
And we had a lot of hard conversations, a lot of periods that were transformative.
I think anything where it's like you're changing the ecosystem of your family.
And my family's very like, we're so tight-knit.
Grew up in like a very close circle.
Like not many people ever came in and nobody leaves.
Like it's very much like, this is our tribe.
And there's a lot of beauty to that, but it's also like if one person within that changes or evolves or like starts behaving differently, it throws everything off.
And it sent some ripple effects in my family.
And I think it forced them to ask some hard.
questions too and like I am grateful because they've shown up for every hard conversation.
That's amazing.
From a place of like love and openness and oh okay we got to fly away.
This hair is amazing by the way.
Thanks. Thank you.
I love your hair.
Thank you.
Is that wavy?
Natural waves?
It's not natural.
Nope.
Nope.
This is like an hour of doing it.
To make it look so.
Mars did it.
Mars.
She's amazing.
She does my hair the best.
I love that.
Thanks.
Hey.
I played with it.
It was like bubbling.
I just was like if she turns her head, you're just going to have like one like.
Hey, you know, I love that.
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Oh, God, where was I.
Okay, so your family, though, they showed up for the hard conversations.
That, to me, that's all you can ask for.
I mean, because you're walking the boat, their boat.
Yeah.
And so, but they're saying, okay, we love you so much that we are going to come,
we're going to go here with you.
That's beautiful.
I mean, I'm so blessed for that.
So where have y'all landed since all of this?
Um, how's your nervous system?
That's a good question.
I mean, I'm in therapy all the time.
I'm, I, every week I go see my therapist and we have a conversation.
It's been, it's been really, really good.
But my nervous system, A, is like more regulated than it ever has been.
I think it's been such, it's been so eye-opening to realize what regulated feels like.
Because now I'm looking back and going, oh, my God, I was pretty unregulated for most of my
Stop people pleasing?
Have you caught or can you catch yourself?
I don't know if I ever will fully stop having that instant because I think it's some of it is personality, right?
I'm a Libra.
I'm a three wing four.
Like I just, I want to keep the peace.
I can see all sides of an argument.
I can put myself in somebody else's shoes really easily, which is a good thing.
But also when it comes to like setting boundaries are going, you hurt me.
I'm so quick to invalidate my own feelings because I'm like, I can understand why you did what you did.
So I can't be really mad.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You can understand them.
You can get to the root.
Even if they're completely disturbed, you're like,
well, this goes back to your childhood.
When you had this happen and that's why you're acting like this.
Exactly.
I think I'll always have that.
Which also is beautiful.
That's a gift.
Yeah.
It's a double-edged sword, I think, with everything.
It's like you just have to understand it and learn how to navigate it.
And so for me, I just have to watch out for those things.
I have to watch out and check in and go like,
does this feel right in my body?
I'm really working on that.
Even just like small decisions,
like going,
what do I want to wear today?
Does this feel like a yes or no in my body?
Intuitive.
Dressing?
Blue.
Or are we going on like basic black?
What are we feeling?
And like little things like that
have really helped me learn what a yes and no feels like
and to be more embodied.
Just in small decisions.
That's really, really helping me.
Thank my therapist for that one too.
I love that.
Just knowing what do you want?
Yes.
Instead of all of the layers that have been put on us,
just by it happens.
Yeah.
Just like, what do you want?
Totally.
But I would say, like, when it comes to my parents,
we're actually closer than we ever have been
because it's for the first time, like, fully honest.
And, you know, I'm 25.
I'm their oldest daughter.
So, like, it's the first time they've had a kid go from a child to an adult
and, like, living their own life and setting boundaries.
And I think they've actually handled it.
gracefully all things considered, especially when your kid is like making an album about all of this
stuff and putting it out in the world. Like, I get it. I get it. I get how hard that is. And I'm,
I'm just really grateful that they've been able to have the conversations and have them from a place
of love. Man, gosh. And in a few years, like, you're going to have such a new normal. Yes. Yes. Like,
I feel like that's so beautiful because it's like so hard to do the big shake. And then like once it kind of
levels out, then it's like, okay, you're going to be in a new normal. And you did that.
You did that for yourself. You're in your family. I think it's important to realize, too,
for anybody out there that's like, oh my God, I feel so responsible for my parents' happiness
or for my siblings happy or whoever it is, my partner's happiness. One thing that my therapist
told me was like, you're never going to be responsible for their happiness or their
unhappiness. That's never going to be, you can't take credit for it and you can't blame
yourself for it. That is a hundred percent their thing. And if you spend your whole life trying to
earn somebody's happiness, this is one thing she told me. She was like, yeah, it's kind of a morbid thought,
but it really like put things in perspective. It was like, if you spend your whole life trying
to make your mother happy, you're going to bury your happiness with her. And I was like,
like the idea that you can't ever make somebody fully happy. You're never going to be able to do
that. That's their responsibility at the end of the day.
to manage their own emotions.
And you owe it to yourself to be happy regardless.
Because you can't control anybody else.
But you can control whether you allow yourself to be happy and validate your own self.
And that was an eye-opener for me.
Like she just drops these truth bombs sometimes where I'm like, oh.
Thank you for that.
Thank you for that.
I needed that.
Why does it sound so simple when you say it?
But yeah, I'm working on, I'm working on like being okay, being a,
little misunderstood. And that's kind of what black sheep is about too. That's another one of my favorite
songs on the record. I don't think you're missing her, Sid. I totally, I totally feel you. And I'm like,
thank you for those of us who are feeling the same way. I'm like, you were speaking what I felt.
Thank you. See, but like, you were talking earlier. You're like, why do I feel so broken? Why do I feel so
that was me? Like, I was in those, like, always asking myself those questions, always thinking
I was the problem. Something's wrong with me. Why, why am I so emotional? Why can't I just like
color inside the lines. Why is what's so easy for everybody else so damn hard for me? And I mean,
it is the biggest compliment that in some small way you feel more seen because of it. Because I think
there's a lot of people that ask those same questions all the time. And someone, not everyone's
brave like you to put them into song. So that's why I'm like so grateful. Thank you. Yes. And I say this
all the time too, but like I think having something to put all of this into,
has saved me because I'm so grateful that I have music to help me like metabolize this and then like
have it live somewhere outside of me that I can just put it there and leave it there and um yeah get out of
you if you're going through like a season like that where things just feel really heavy or you're
changing a lot um I think everybody should create in some way like even if it's just like cooking or like painting
or like doing something.
To get it out of you.
Yes.
Let it move through you.
Don't let it sit here because it's just too much.
Like having this album has saved me the past couple of years.
That's amazing.
Okay.
Quickly, let's talk about touring.
You're on tour with Keith Urban.
Yeah.
How was that?
Insane, as you can imagine.
What is that like just like for a year?
Did you tour then?
I mean, yeah, it was a long, I think of the longest tour I've done.
It was probably about six months.
Okay, so you kind of, do you get to know him?
Yeah.
What's he like?
like a friend. He's, he's so cool. He's the coolest. Um, granted, like he, you know,
wasn't around all the time on the tour. He's the headliner. Like, everybody tours differently,
but the time we get, we did get together, he's just so, like, down to earth. One thing he said
that really stuck with me was, we're all perpetual students. And he approaches every aspect of
his career like that. And that was just a piece of advice that's going to stick with me forever. Like,
like the idea of approaching life like that, you know, even where he's at, like, like,
peak success, all the things, he's still going, how do I learn more? How can I be better? Like,
what can I still work on? What do I not know? And that's so exciting to me. Having that growth
mindset, I think is really, really special. But we had a blast. It was so much fun. We had this,
like, funny moment. You know how artists have, like, tour outfits? Like, almost like costumes, right?
They're like, it's a lot to dress for 60 shows.
It's better to have it just, like, dialed in.
Have it dialed in, have it all figured out.
So he had a similar outfit that he wore every night.
It was like this black shirt with, like, paint.
It looked like a custom, different piece of art on it every night.
And I saw him.
We had played, like, a couple weeks worth of shows.
And I saw him at CMA Fest.
And I was interviewing him for something.
And I was like, he walked in and he was wearing like the same thing.
And I was like, do you have, like, is that the same shirt?
And he was like, no, it's a different shirt.
I was like, okay, cool.
I wasn't sure if you had, like, you know, a tour outfit or, like, something that you always wear.
I wasn't meaning the exact same shirt.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But, like, you know, Taylor Swift has her same body suit that she wears every show.
Anyway, it got in his head.
So every time I saw him after that, he was like, it's a different shirt.
He sent me a picture of, like, his clothing rack on his tour bus, and they were like 50 of them.
Same but different.
Just to prove, just to prove that they were all different shirts.
Like I'm Keith Irvin.
I have a lot of shirts, okay?
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, it was special.
And then I think one of the most memorable moments was here in Nashville at Bridgestone.
It was my first time playing Bridgetown.
So, like, unbelievable.
Like, driving from my house and, like, pulling in the loading dock at Bridgestone was just wild.
And, like, you're an artist parking.
Yeah.
You're, people are here.
This is you're part of this show.
Like, so wild.
Like, I will never forget that feeling.
But he.
pulled me up during his set to sing landslide and it was just like what does that feel like
when dreams are coming true like literally that's a dream come true yeah what does it feel like when
your dreams are coming true in real time i think in that moment it was like time didn't really exist
it just felt like this moment outside of time and i'm grateful actually i think the timing of everything
i was able to be so much more in my body for that performance where i think if it had been two years ago
and i was a different version of me i probably would have just gone whoops somewhere else
because I was nervous.
And, you know, there's a lot of people looking at me,
and that was just my habit when I performed was like,
Disassociate.
Go into autopilot, disassociate.
But I was able to be, like, so present and just embodied.
How did it feel in your body?
It feels like you're putting your hand into a light socket.
It's like you have this electric current running through your body.
And I kind of visualize it like, I think it's source energy.
Like anytime you're channeling or creating when I'm writing, sometimes I feel like it's just this light coming from source into my body.
And that's kind of how I visualize it because sometimes it can feel like a lot.
And you just have to learn how to be a container for it and not disappear and just like be able to hold it and know like I can't hold this.
I'm meant to hold this energy right now.
But that's kind of what it feels like.
It's hard to describe.
It's an out of body experience, but it's beautiful.
Okay.
And you're going to Europe.
You're going to, in like a week.
What is it called the Heruko or Heron?
I don't know how to pronounce it.
Michael played that last year.
We went.
Okay.
You're going to the Her Casa County Festival in Riazza, Spain.
I'll learn how to pronounce that, I promise.
That festival is so fun.
Isn't it?
Michael, Sonny and I went my four-year-old, five-year-old went on tour with Michael last year,
and we went to that festival.
And it was amazing.
I'm so excited.
I have never been to Spain.
I'm dying.
I'm dying.
I want to eat all the food.
Yes.
And just like, do all.
I cannot wait.
Just getting out of, like,
you know, going into another world.
Yeah.
It's so amazing.
And I feel like that's the beauty of music, too.
All the places it takes you.
I love traveling.
I'm obsessed to that.
Have you just, like, seen so many things?
Like, music is just taking you everywhere.
I never, I don't think I ever knew to dream this big, honestly.
It's so cool.
I grew up in such a small town, like 4,000 people, you know, and my parents have never
been out of the country, really.
My grandparents definitely not.
So, like, to be really, like, the first person in my family to, like, get to travel
the world and it's just a dream come true and it's something i've always wanted since i was a kid that again
i felt weird for i was like why is everybody so good with just staying here and growing old and having a
family and like putting roots down yeah that's beautiful too it is beautiful but it was just never going to be
my path i know i always wanted to like see other other cultures and travel the world and it's just a big
world like i want to see it you know there's so much to see so much to see next i'm like japan
I want to do like Iceland.
Like there's so much I want to do.
Okay, so we're going to wrap up.
I am so, just thank you so much for your heart, your conversation, this album that you've put out.
What do we need to know?
What's coming up?
What is on the docket?
What do everyone, how do we follow you?
Give us all the details of what's on.
So I don't know when this is going live, but Europe tours coming up.
We are playing like top of July.
So I leave like in a week.
Yes.
So excited.
And then.
Where are you going?
Spain.
Spain.
Germany, Manchester, London, no, not Germany,
Northern Ireland, Belfast, and then Glasgow, Scotland.
And you're going with your band, do you and your band?
I'll get along really well.
Full band, it's going to be some, it's my first, like, headline run out there.
So it'll be a blast.
We're going to be trekking around.
Just like, it's always chaos traveling over there because it's, you know, trains and all of that.
But have fun.
That's what makes it so great.
It's so great.
And then later this year, I'm going on my second headline tour.
It's starting in September, like through October.
20-some dates across the U.S.
I'm playing like my first headline in California.
I can't freaking wait.
Like, as I was making this album, I envisioned these rooms so much.
Oh, yeah.
Like just the idea of getting to sing lyrics, this personal and like deep in a room
full of people is so powerful.
And I want it to feel like that for them too.
I want it to feel like almost like so,
um,
so like vulnerable and transparent.
It feels like illegal to do that in the space of that many people.
Yes.
Now that's healing in real time.
Yeah.
How do we ever get to experience something like that if it's not for live music?
So, um,
I can't wait for those shows.
Grab tickets.
Yay!
Just okay.
Your website is just.
Alana springsteen.com.
You're not related to Bruce.
No relation.
Have you all met yet?
Nope.
One day.
One day.
I would die.
I love his music so much.
I want to see him live.
All the things.
Yeah.
Okay.
So you're going to Europe.
You're doing your headlining tour.
The album's out.
Is there when you're working right now?
Is it just kind of all?
I mean, same God was like the last focus track.
I freaking love that.
I mean, that is a powerful song.
Thank you.
It's probably the song that I'm most proud of writing.
Totally see why.
Yeah.
So, yeah, check that out.
But yeah, the full record is just two years in my life in music form.
And it means the world to me.
I love that so much.
Thank you so much for joining me.
Thank you for letting me to dive into your brain.
And by the way, if I got inside your brain, I still would love you.
I love you more.
Back out you, girl.
I love you so much more.
And I'm so grateful that you're brave enough to share what's in your brain.
I'm so glad this happened from like meeting at Traini's Baby Shower to like making this happen.
Thanks for having me.
Well, I always know I loved you.
I'm so glad you came on.
Thank you so much for joining me.
Okay.
Oh, I always wrap up with Leave Your Light.
Last question.
Okay.
What do you want people to know?
Drop some inspiration.
I want people to know that all the things that make you different, that make you feel like you don't fit in, that make you feel misunderstood are your superpower.
And so like embrace them, learn about it, lean into it.
I look at the things that I felt insecure about as a kid that made me different.
And they make me uniquely built to live this life.
Like nothing is an accident.
So embrace those things and figure out.
why they're there.
Amen.
A lot of Springs.
Thank you so much for joining me.
This is amazing.
Bye.
Bye.
Hey, Portlandia fans.
Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here.
The Dream of the 90s is alive in podcast form.
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This is Chelsea Handler from Dear Chelsea.
Every week, the news gets worse.
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Do you know I just found out
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Do better or do less,
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Listen to You're the Problem with Yamanika
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You probably know me from NYPD Blue,
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I've shared a slice with everyone from Seth Rollins.
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Open your free High Heart Radio app. Search Delivering Happiness with Nick Titturo.
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of The Lost Podcast, we explore cinema like no one else, including huge interviews with stars like
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It was like the Jaws Shark.
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That's what made it great.
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On set, there was so much magic happening with each scene we were putting together.
Deep dives into classics like 2001 of Space Odyssey or Fight Club, plus weekly episodes on
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Listen to Raiders of the Lost podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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