The Bobby Bones Show - Honoring Fallen Soldiers with Patrick Nelson

Episode Date: November 11, 2020

Although retired Staff Sergeant Patrick Nelson experienced great loss while serving in the U.S. Army National Guard, he also found a new sense of purpose and drive. In this episode, Patrick explains to host Bobby Bones what it means to carry on the legacy of the service men and women who never made it back home. Veterans' Organizations and Resources:Tee It Up for the Troops Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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a podcast from IHeartRadio, celebrating the many who have selflessly put their lives on the line to serve their country in the armed forces. Every Veterans Day, we as a country, honor and commemorate the people who fight for our freedom and defend our country. And in this four-part series, you'll hear from these individuals as they share their unique experiences in the military and the lessons they learned that carried them into their new roles in civilian life. In this episode, I'm talking to retired staff sergeant Patrick Nelson

of the Army National Guard. At first, Patrick decided to attend boot camp to escape a difficult home life. But a few years later, he dropped out of a community college two days after 9-11 and went active duty with the National Guard. Patrick eventually retired from the Army and transitioned out of active duty. Today, he speaks to groups across the country sharing stories of a service and telling audiences about the inspiring men and women he served with whom we lost overseas. Hey, Patrick, how are you? Hey, I'm good, Bobby. How are you doing? Pretty good. Good to talk to you. Where do you live right now? Where are you? I am in Elk River, Minnesota, which is just a suburb of the Minneapolis-St. Paul area. So is it freezing cold up there right now, or almost getting there?

No, it's pretty cold. We're expected to get five to seven inches of snow today. So we're in the middle of it right now. Fall has passed us by and we've shifted into winter. I am not lying to you here. I'm looking, because I'm in Nashville right now. And it is 78 degrees right now. It could not be nicer. Nice. So you enlisted in the military in what year? Well, I first enlisted in the Minnesota Army National Guard in February of 2000 while I was a junior in high school. school. Well, why as a junior in high school did you feel that it was the right time for you to get involved? Well, Bobby, I didn't have the greatest childhood growing up. It certainly could have been worse, but I heard a bunch of guys from my high school were joining and they said,

they're going to send us down to Oklahoma for basic training for the entire summer. And I was like, what? I want to get out of here. Count me in. And I signed up really. not knowing what to expect, but just wanting to take a break from the situation back home. You went to Oklahoma for Basic First, right? And what was that experience like for you? That's correct. It was, yeah, Basic Training, Fort Sill, Oklahoma. It was interesting. I think it's everything that you would think it would be. I had a fun time because I was there with a bunch of buddies from high school. So I think that probably made it a lot easier. And I got to do some things that I've never done before.

Similar to your story. You know, I had a very rough childhood growing up. You know, my mom was an addict. I never knew my dad. Kind of had to figure out situations. And, you know, it's wild how we have to find other places to go to get a feeling of involvement, sometimes love, sometimes a feeling of just accomplishment. And mine was, you know, church and performing, you know, for me.

And it's awesome that yours was the military. And so you're a junior in high school. you're going through basic. When did you go? This is going to be something I know I'm going to do for a long time. Yeah. Well, so, you know, I got back and, you know, started my senior year of high school, had zero direction with what I was going to do in life. I didn't have the family support that said, here, you should, you know, visit these colleges. Here, let me help you fill out these forms and applications. It was basically just me navigating things on my own. And after I graduated high school, and I'd, barely graduated. Again, there's a lot of similarity between our stories because, you know, I saw drugs in the house, my mother arrested. I did not know my biological father growing up. I didn't meet him

till three years ago, which is an even more interesting story, and he's a wonderful man. But yeah, I had no idea what I said to do. I had to go back to Oklahoma again for my advanced training. And then I came back and I enrolled in a community college in West Central Minnesota. And three weeks And in my first semester, I was skipping classes already. It's safe to say that I wasn't going to find a lot of success in college, but then that Tuesday and September, all of our lives changed. And as I watched on TV just like everybody else, I felt those same feelings of helplessness, sorrow, anger. And two days after the attacks, I went and visited the recruiter's office and asked to go active duty army. I knew that the military was going to be doing something in response to this.

And I knew that the active duty obviously would be the ones going first. And driven by all those patriotic feelings and emotions, I wanted to be, I wanted to be part of it. You know, when looking at you getting in January 2002 and you talk about 9-11 and just listening to how as a student, you weren't as disciplined as you would like to be, why do you think you felt like? You wanted to get into what is probably the most disciplined area you can go into, which is the military. Why did you feel like that was right for you? Yeah, that's a great question. I think a lot of it boiled down to growing up, I feel like I had a lot of self-awareness. I understood my lot in life, how people viewed me.

But at the same time, I also had friends who had very, you know, what I'd call normal families and normal family experiences. and I really craved that and wanted that and would try to surround myself with those type of people. So I learned at a very early age the importance of surrounding yourself with the right people. And I knew that I would get that in the military. So you specialized as a filled artillery cannon crew member. You got to help me.

What does that job entail? That job entails shooting a howitzer cannon. And so specifically I was on a 105 millimeter howitzer, howitzer, so I was a paratrooper, and so it's something that can be parachuted out of the back of an airplane. It can be sling loaded underneath a helicopter, so it's a very agile artillery piece where we can kind of shoot and move and get the job done. So from when you first start training until you're actually active with the, what is that training process? That sounds extremely intense. Yeah, it's pretty intense, you know, in basic training. And,

And in your advanced individual training, it's really just sort of introducing you to the military because you really don't learn the most until you're at your unit. And so when I finally was able to get active duty in January 2002, I first got sent to this unit in Germany, which was a rocket brigade. So they fired rockets. I was used to shooting cannons. And so they gave me the position of the colonel's driver. Now, I didn't drop out of college after 9-11 to drive the colonel and make sure his coffee was hot.

I happened to be at a training exercise. One day we were in Germany, and I saw these guys parachuting out of the back of helicopters. And I pointed up to my first sergeant who was standing next to me. I said, that's the stuff that I want to do. And he had the right connections with the help of a lot of paperwork. I got reassigned down to the 173rd Airborne Brigade. based out of Vicenza, Italy. So you're a guy that grows up in a small town of Minnesota.

You're in Oklahoma, doing basic. And all of a sudden, you're all around the world. You're in Germany. You're in Italy. I mean, that's got to be a bit of a culture shock to you, huh? Absolutely huge culture shock. But such an amazing opportunity for myself just to have that exposure. And just, I mean, even in the military alone, even if I would have been stationed in the

States, it's a blender full of people, and it was just such a pleasure and joy to be able to serve with such a diverse group. But as fulfilling as the experience was, Patrick faced major adversity while deployed. In 2005, he was stationed at a forward operating base along the Pakistani border serving as fire support for a special forces team. It was here alongside the Pakistani border that everything changed in an instant for Patrick. It was June, which meant fighting season was starting to pick up. Things were starting to get pretty busy, so we needed some more ammunition. I went over to help that other section that day because they had a sergeant leaving on

R&R. So I was going to basically backfill his position while he was gone. And so as I heard the sound of the Chinook helicopter approaching, I hopped in a Humvee with my good friend Luke. And then just as we're about to pull away to drive out to the landing zone, my soldier hopped in the back. Now, he was supposed to be back with our section. So I turned around and I was about to yell at him, but I thought for a second, you know what?

I value that kind of work ethic. He wants to come lift some heavy boxes in this heat out here. That's great. Our section can no problem handle the job without the both of us. But then I realized he didn't have his helmet on. And Bobby, I literally opened my mouth. But then I realized I didn't have mine on either. And it's kind of hard for me to sit.

something if I'm not doing the right thing. So we got out to the landing zone, the Chinook landed, and a group of ten of us stepped to the side of the aircraft so they could take the machine gun off the back ramp. My platoon sergeant, he handed me a piece of paper with some serial numbers to items we're expecting. The rotor blades are turning. It's kicking up dust. You can't hear anybody talk.

And I grabbed the piece of paper and I turned around to ground guide my buddy Luke in the Humvee V to get him a little bit closer to the back of the back. of the helicopter, so it's a little shorter distance to load the ammunition. And the next thing I remember, I'm just picked up, and I'm slammed to the ground. Unsure what happened. I look up, and

I see bodies laying everywhere. I see blood. And I initially thought maybe one of the engines on the helicopter had possibly exploded. The helicopter powered down, and then I heard that distinct sound of an incoming 107 millimeter rocket.

And I got up and I dove underneath the Humvee for cover as more rockets impacted around us. And as soon as the barrage ended, I crawled out from underneath. And I started running back to the soldiers that were still on the ground, really unsure of what I was going to find. And as I was running a Marine that was on our base, training Afghan National Army soldiers, had yelled to me that I'd been hit. And up and to that point, I didn't felt any pain. But I turned my head and looked at the back of my uniform and it was shredded and blood was pouring out. And it was at that moment the pain really hit me. So they brought us to the small Afghan clinic that was within our forward operating base and was ran by an Afghan doctor.

And so it was a mass casualty situation. And my wounds were very minor compared to everybody else. I took some shrapnel to the back, nothing too serious. Had a piece still sticking out of me. One of the special forces guys came by with his little, leatherman tool whipped out his pliers and pulled it out. That was pretty interesting. And I got bandaged up and I started looking around to see who else was hurt. And I saw a supply sergeant that was recently attached to us from a National Guard unit out of Massachusetts. And he's laying on this

elevated stretcher and the local Afghan doctor who is like five feet two inches is standing on this red milk crate performing CPR. So I kind of do a quick lap around the clinic trying to see who else is hurt, how bad. And I come back around it. It couldn't have been more than 45 seconds, and they're zipping Michael up into a body bag. And I find my way into a small room in the back of the clinic there, and that's where I see my soldier, Emmanuel Hernandez, laying on a table. His head is bandaged. A few people are working on him, but I could see his chest rise and fall. So I knew that he was breathing, and I grabbed his hand. I said, hey, everything's going to be okay. Metavac helicopters arrived.

They brought us to forward surgical teams in the region. They removed several pieces of shrapnel from my back, left a few souvenirs in there for me, bandaged me up, sent me back out to the landing zone for another helicopter ride to Bogger Mirrofield for some further advanced medical care. And it was as I was waiting there, my commander approached me and asked me how I was doing. and I told him I was going to be fine. And of course, I asked, I said, well, how's Hernandez? And he looked at me, he said, he's going to be okay.

And, you know, I just felt such relief. And he turned to walk away. And he got about three or four steps, and he turned around. And tears were rolling down his cheeks. And he said, I'm sorry that I lied. Hernandez didn't make it. And I dropped to my knees, and I just lost it. He died because I didn't have the courage to speak up because I wasn't doing the right thing.

And that was something that haunted me for a long time. As I finished my military career and even as I transitioned into the civilian world, you know, I tried to drink it away. I tried to wash it away with pills. But I've learned over time, it's such a cliche. I can't change the past, but I can influence the future. And so I've learned that I can take that story. I can take my failure.

I can take the sacrifice of Emmanuel and Michael and other friends of mine that I've lost in combat, and I can share them with others to inspire them. And so I've really found a purpose in being able to share my story with others and also just let them know about these brave men that I had the honor of serving with. Well, first I'd like to thank you for sharing. that part of your story. I know that you're extremely vulnerable to tell that and that so many people are going to benefit from you just sharing what you've gone through because people have and will go through very similar things. So first, before we move on to the next part and some other questions

out for you, I would just like to thank you for spending those few minutes talking about that with me. After spending nearly seven years as a paratrooper in the U.S. Army and completing three combat deployments in various leadership positions, earning a bronze star and Purple Heart, Patrick turned his focus to helping others. Being able to place yourself in somebody else's shoes and see things from their perspective is something we need so much more of in this world that we're living in today. And so I'm able to take that story and just, one, it connects me with other people like you said, who've had maybe not the same, obviously tragedies being blown up by a rocket, but people who've experienced grief or people who've experienced loss.

and just attempting to be a role model for them to show them that, yes, it still impacts me, it still hurts, but I can do something about it as far as sharing that story and influencing others. And, you know, in February, I lost my job like a lot of people did. And now I am making a go of it on my own, trying to be a speaker to share my story. and I will talk to anybody that will sit down and listen. It has made me very purpose-driven. When I was in the military, or rather when I signed up, I signed up for all those patriotic reasons.

But when I was in, it was just another job. We woke up a little bit earlier than most people, and we took extended business trips, but just like somebody might be an insurance salesman, I was a soldier. I didn't think about that patriotic stuff. And it wasn't until I got out that I reflected on my experiences and realized I was part of something so much bigger than myself.

I tried for a long time thinking I had to replicate that exact purpose, which I quickly learned that I never was going to be able to do. But I have found a purpose again and just being able to inspire others to help them realize that they can impact those around them. because sometimes the smallest access service have the biggest impact, and you may never know unless you speak up or talk to somebody or reach out. You just never know the impact that you could have on somebody's life. Whenever you transition into civilian life, did you have a clear path that you knew that you would follow getting back? And what was that transition like for you?

I knew before I got out that I needed to have a plan. I saw, a lot of soldiers leave the military without a plan and say, you know what, I'm going to take a couple months off. Then I'm going to go to college. I'm going to use my benefits. And I never saw him do it. While I was in Afghanistan on my last deployment, which was 15 months long, I had already received one scholarship, a Horatio Alger military scholar. I had been accepted into college. I had signed a lease on an apartment in the city that I was moving to. I knew that I had to have things in place. So when I got out, I was ready to rock and roll. And again, even though I had a plan, though, it wasn't always easy. I didn't expect the challenges that I faced with the

PTSD symptoms that came up and the challenges that I had with my reliance on prescription pills. So I got out and I had two surgeries related to my wounds. I was on Vicodin and Immorphine for five years. I didn't go anywhere without a bunch of pills in my pocket. It took me a long time to realize that I even had a problem. The pills, the drugs, the alcohol, they only act as accelerants for any type of PTSD challenges you might have. So having to overcome that was tough. And so I think still having that foundation of the plan really was able to help keep me on a path, which wasn't always straight. but then also having my girlfriend at the time, who is now my wife, and again, understanding the importance of surrounding myself with people who have your best interest in mind,

not yes men or yes women, right? People who are not going to tell you what you want to hear, but obviously what you need to hear. 2008, I think you go back and get your degree, but what inspired you to do that? Yeah, again, it kind of really goes back to the tough childhood that I had. People didn't look at me growing up, and I'm sure it might have been the same for you, Bobby, saying, man, that kid's going to go places someday and do some great things. And it really was driven by the sense of wanting to overcome the stereotypes and the statistics and have a sense of achievement. After I got wounded in the military, I got medevac out of there. And I was gone for three

weeks. A fellow soldier in my unit by the name of Greg Trent had a conversation with me. And Greg was able to sneak me on a helicopter flight to get back there with my soldiers. Unfortunately, and Greg was killed in 2012 in Afghanistan while operating with his special forces team. But Greg got me back out there. I couldn't go out on any missions, but we're working with the special forces. We're working with the SEALs, which meant we had bigger budgets, which meant we had satellites, which meant we had fast internet. So I started plugging away at online college classes while I'm in a mud hut in the middle of nowhere, Afghanistan. And so I finished two years of college classes while I was in, just because I wanted to,

challenge myself and accomplish something and prove people wrong. And so I got out December 2008, January 2009. I was sitting in the college classroom with a bunch of 18, 19 year old kids. And, you know, I was 26 at the time. I felt like I was that kind of old weird man on campus. But 26 is still pretty young. I double majored. I went and got that master's degree. And then, you know, just a few years ago, I went and finished another master's degree in organization. development for Pepperdine. And again, really driven by that sense of wanting to accomplish something and showing people that I can do it. And not only showing people that you can do it, and I feel like we come from the same spot, and you may agree with me here, it's showing other people

like us, they can do it too. Absolutely. Yeah, definitely. It's, you know, being that, I like holding up that mirror to other people and saying, like, look, if I can overcome this, I know that you can too. And yeah, you know what? It's going to be hard. And it's going to take a lot of hard work and it's not going to be handed to you. But you can do it. If there are young people listening to this right now who are considering enlisting and they're moved by your story, what advice would you give them about enlisting?

I would ask them, what do you want to do in life? Like, what's your dream? And whatever it is, go for it. Like, you got one shot at this life here on earth. And if it is joining the military, if you want to go shoot some guns, go for it. Do it now. If you want to work for the CIA someday or FBI, you know, and you want to go into intelligence, do that. If you're 18 years old, you don't have to have everything figured out. I mean, it took me to tell us about 31 to kind of realize what I wanted to do with my life.

So if you don't know, just go out there and soak in different experiences, whether it is the military or volunteering for different organizations. because, you know, when I got out, I first wanted to work in professional sports. I got a master's green sport management. I was very fortunate to be named that NFL Tillman scholar. And I went to work for the Minnesota Vikings. My hometown football team, what I thought was going to be my dream job. And it turned out it wasn't and it wasn't for me. So you don't have to have it all figured out.

If you want to join the military, do your research, figure out what branch is going to be best for you with what you want to do. and do it. But my recommendation is if you join the Army, make sure you become a paratrooper. What do you miss most about being in the military? I miss the people. And I also miss the mission.

Obviously, there's a lot of politics at play when it comes to the conflicts that are going on. And that's not something that I thought about when I was in. But I saw the impact that we had on local people and when it was in Iraq when I was there and when I went to Afghanistan. And that is such a humbling feeling that allows me to still keep things in perspective to this day, thinking about those people in the lives that they have and all the blessings.

You know, again, I lost my job in February, but I'm going to be okay. I'm not living in a war-torn country. So it just makes me continue to remain grateful. how would you encourage someone, because this for us is inspired by Veterans Day, obviously. How would you encourage someone to go about celebrating Veterans Day or what can we actually do? Not just think and feel. And that's level one for sure. But what can we also do, level two?

Yeah. I like that you put it like that, Bobby, because words are nice. They're great. but what sort of action can you take? And so my recommendation is to get involved with some type of organization. If you support veterans, if it's a cause that you're passionate about, whether it's going to the VA and visiting with some of the patients there or one of the many veteran service organizations out there,

the VFW, the American Legion, that unfortunately are really struggling with membership with this younger generation of veterans. I encourage people get involved. And, you know, yeah, I was here on Veterans Day. That's kind of the, obviously, prime time to thank a vet. But then that sort of just fades away after a while. I like to say for my, you know, there's a lot of Gold Star mothers and brothers and sisters and fathers out there.

And I know plenty of them that Memorial Day is every day for them. And the same thing applies for me for Veterans Day. It might be the middle of June. And, hey, it's not Veterans Day. stay today, but go out and do something for a veteran anyways. You know, I found my ability to do that through my affiliation with an organization called T-It-Up for the Troops. They hold golf events across the country, raising money for wounded veterans.

And I had never swung a golf club. Again, growing up like we did, I'd never swung a golf club in my life until I was 27 years old. And they put a set of golf clubs in my hands, and I fell in love with the game. And I'm a terrible golfer, but I found it as a therapeutic outlet just to kind of take my mind off of all the other things that were going on. That's the one organization that I really will bend over backwards for and do anything that I can to help them further their cause. So tell me about life now and what you're doing and how do you see the lessons and values that you've learned influencing and impacting your journey as it continues. Yeah. Life is great.

It's been a challenge. Again, losing your job in February. My wife and I were in the middle of the adoption process. We have two beautiful biological girls. And we had just, in January, we went through what's known as a failed match. We lost, you know, $15,000, which is a significant amount of money for anybody. But what hurt the most was the emotional investment. And then I go ahead and lose my job. And we have to decide if we want to continue on with this. this adoption journey, which is expensive. And, you know, we make the decision to continue on. I start trying to make a go of it on my own to be able to speak to others, to help them develop as leaders. And in May, we welcomed a beautiful baby girl by the name of Haven that we adopted. And she has just been the light of our life through these challenging times that everybody's going through.

And we definitely look forward to adopting again. much love to give. It's always been our dream to, you know, we just want to build a big house in the country and fill it full of kids and fill it full of love. My wife had a very normal childhood growing up. I didn't. I didn't have one of those safe places where you could bring friends over to hang out and play a video game or whatever. And so we really want to create that opportunity for kids to be that place where you're not worried about where your kids at on a Friday night. They're all, you know, at the Nelson house, hanging out at the sports. And court court, playing basketball, or whatever.

And so really, that's what drives me as my family and taking care and providing for them and doing meaningful work. How pivotal was your wife in your process? I think I would have committed suicide if it wasn't for her. I don't think that I would be alive today if it wasn't for her. because I struggled. And I kept a lot of those struggles internal. And I didn't share those with anybody.

And, yeah, man, if it wasn't for her, I don't think I'd be here. As a dad, just as a dad. What's your goal? My goal is to spend as much time with my kids as possible. And that's another thing, the career that I've changed. chosen and that has I feel like has also chosen me provides me that flexibility. You know, I encourage everybody, do whatever makes you happy. And this is what makes me happy because I have that flexibility where if I want to go

play at the park with my girls all afternoon, I can do that. They're only young once. And it's just having kids is so awesome. And Bobby, I just, I know you got engaged recently. So congratulations. And, you know, if you end up having a family, I think you're going to. going to feel that as well and just be an awesome dad. I hope so. You know, I was always, and still am a bit scared to have kids because I had no, I didn't have parents. So I don't know if I know how to

parent. You know, I didn't have a safe place. Much like you. So to hear your story and hear you love being a dad and want more kids and like that's inspiring for a guy like me. Well, you know, I like to say I was taught exactly what not to do. I learn exactly what not to do from from those I head in my life. But at the same time, too, I understood the power of positive people around me and surrounding myself with them and seeing what it can be like. And so I've been able to take that and use that to shape me as a father. And you'll go through a lot of learning experiences, obviously, too. Listen, I have really enjoyed talking with you. I mean that as sincerely as I possibly can. So thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for sharing your

knowledge and your advice and for continuing to want to do that because I can tell you from experience it ain't an easy thing to want to talk to folks because not everybody wants to always hear you want they don't want to listen to your story but when you connect it is worth its weight in whatever currency you want to spend and so you're going to it's going to be so great for you because I can just tell that that fulfills you to help others so thank you again and the best best wishes to you and your wife and all your kids. you very much, Bobby. I appreciate the opportunity. It's been fantastic. So thank you very much. And again, congratulations on the pending nuptials. Enjoy it, man. I want to thank Patrick for his

bravery and dedication and service and for the work he does today, carrying out the memory of those who have made the ultimate sacrifice. I encourage you to follow Patrick Nelson on Instagram. He's at Patrick J. Nelson, 1983. Thanks for listening to Vets you should know. Check out our other episodes for more great stories from inspiring vets like Patrick who continue to work selflessly and tirelessly in civilian life to make positive change. If you like what you heard, please rate and review the podcast. We want to hear from you. And don't forget to subscribe for free or follow the show on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you listen to your podcasts. Vets you should know is a special four-part series podcast from IHeart Radio hosted by me, Bobby Bones. Our show is written and produced by Molly Sosha, Andy Kelly, Ethan Fixell, in partnership with Haley Erickson and Garrett Shannon of banter. Edit, sound design, and mix by Matt Stillow. And my personal producer and hero is Mike D. All right. If you have ever dealt with a traditional home security company, you know the drill.

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