The Bobby Bones Show - Lunchbox's Mentee Calls 911 + Bobby's Advice on First Dance Wedding Song + First Line of the Song Game

Episode Date: December 19, 2018

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Eddie your first. Oh, I'll tell you right away. Getting yogurt at the grocery store stresses me out. What do you mean? There are, I don't know, 500 flavors of yogurt, and my wife will send me to the grocery store and say, hey, will you pick up some yogurt on the way home? Which one?

Like, I cannot, and my son likes honey vanilla or something. I can't find it, dude. It takes me 10 minutes to find yogurt. That stresses me out. Do people like vanilla anything except ice cream? Like, vanilla to me, is this not in a try. Of all the flavors you choose vanilla? My three-year-old loves honey vanilla.

Like, vanilla will be something you're stuck with and you're like, not bad. Who chooses? Oh, my husband. Vanilla. Vanilla. All day, every day. That's not even a real flavor. Even the smell vanilla. It's not bad.

The smell. I don't smell. A vanilla candle. Like a hay vanilla candle. Okay, so yogurt is for you. Yogurt at the grocery store. I mean, what dumb thing? Well, mine is also a grocery store related and it's either

picking out avocados, like which one is going to be the ripe one? Or like pears or something where there's like multiple kinds of pairs, but you don't know which pair is better? Like stuff like that really stress me. I can stand at the avocados of the pear section at the grocery store for like five minutes. Finally, sometimes I just ask a store employee, can you tell me which avocado you think I'm going to cut into it and it's going to be perfect? Pick for me, please.

I'll just close my eyes. It's hard. For me, stupid things to stretch you out. If my phone has any red numbers on it, They must go fast. And if I like ones or twos or none. No updates, no email, no text message. Like Amy's phone drives me bonkers.

Red everywhere. How many email, Amy, do you have? You haven't opened up. 1,479. Oh, man. Oh, that's my heart you heard. Yeah. What else you got?

How many texts have you not open? 17. That, to me, is amazing. I don't even know where they are. They're so far down the bottom. I don't know. Bones, I have 4,478 emails unopened. You guys make me vomit, but not in a series.

What about voicemails? 20. That to me is... Oh yeah, you keep your voicemail full. So do I. Mine's full now. You can't even... But yours is just full in accident.

Yeah, yeah. Mine is my voicemail going, hey, listen, I'm probably not going to check these anyway because who checks the voicemail anymore. I love that. But just send me a text message and then check it. That's what starts as me. It makes me feel gross inside.

Lunchbox. It's easy. It is trying to figure out which show I'm going to watch on DVR. Like, during the day, I'm like, I go home and I'm like, I have a list of shows that I want to watch. and I'm all recorded it and trying to decide which one to watch drives me nuts. You really worry. I really worry because I'm like, well, if I catch up with that show, I only have three episodes so I could watch it all today.

But this one is more recent and it just throws me off and it really stresses me out. On our Facebook page, what dumb thing? Now, these aren't serious things. They're real life things. They're all pretty dumb. But what dumb thing stresses you out? Bobbybones.com. Hit her Facebook page.

So I'm real particular about cleaning and cleaning myself, and I got into the Q-tips, and I started sticking it in my ear. And then obviously I stick it in my ear canal, which I know I shouldn't. But how else does your ear canal get cleaned on the box of the Q-tip? It says don't stick it in your earhole. But why do they design it to go right into your earhole? It says that. Oh, yeah.

I've always put the Q-tip in my ear. No, no, you're not supposed to, but they're designed to. See, like the other day I was giving my kids a bath and I was like, when was the last time you cleaned your ears? And my son was like, never? Like, I don't clean my ears. And I was like, what? And I got after him. I started like putting them on the Q-tip in.

My wife's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, do that. Like, last time we were at the doctor, the doctor said, I've sent my college because of my kids to college because of Q-tips because parents always put Q-tips in their kids' ears and ruin them. Wow, they rupture their eardrum? Yeah, I had no idea. I was about to stick the Q-tip in my kid's ears because they said they'd never clean their ears. Amy? I definitely heard that before. I think even my husband's nephew had that issue.

What? Yeah, but I have to admit I cleaned my kids' ears out the other day. See? But I love the feeling of it. Yeah, the deeper the better, too. No, I don't go too deep. I do. Because I am aware that this is an issue.

But if you just approach it delicately, I think you're okay. Lunchbox, what do you do? There's water in the shower that gets in there, the soap from the, like when you wash your hair. Yeah. The shampoo runs in there and then when you're dry and you just kind of dig the towel in there. Yeah. By the way, can I say that someone on the show saw lunchbox in the bathroom, use the bathroom and walk out without washing his hands.

Oh, he does it all the time. I mean, who hadn't seen me do that? Oh, okay, never mind. So that's not a story? No, that's not a story. I mean, you print T-shirts because I don't wash my hands. It's good. Oh, well, I guess we can wrap it up on that.

I just kind of thought that was disgusting. And it's the flu season. Oh. So that alone should be washing your hands. Guys, my stuff doesn't have the flu. I don't know. Okay. That's not word around the street.

The Bobby Bohn show. Amy sent me a story and the link was how to email like a boss. And I thought it meant like how to email like a boss. Like a boss, like a baller. But really it's how to email like a boss. Like a legit boss. Like a CEO. And basically you just need to respond to emails quickly to the point as possible.

And that's how you stay efficient and you get things done. And I've always thought of Bobby's email. style is, I don't know, sort of like rude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not boss-like, but just short and like confusing because it would make me think like, oh, is he being short with me? Like, if I done something wrong and then I analyze it for 10 minutes, which I shouldn't do. But really, what I learned after I read this is like, oh my gosh, Bobby's just been emailing

like a boss. Like a boss in both ways. Oh, because that's what they do. Because then otherwise, if you spend too long on your email, that's not a good use of time. And then if you don't respond because you want to do some crazy long response, your emails back up. Again, you're not efficient. For me, if I get an email, I try to get it back out of my box as fast as possible. Oh, wow.

With my thoughts that need. And it's, the article is emailing like a CEO. Okay. Well, I type so much they end up being a draft. Oh, Amy's are. And then I'm like, maybe I'll send this later when I have more time to do another paragraph. So, yeah, I do get in trouble for my tone. But I like to call my tone CEO tone. Yeah. Like a boss. Yeah. Sure. Like, like, but it's everything. you need is in an answer. Maybe you get one of those email signatures that, you know, it's the automatic goes with all

your emails at the bottom. Like it's signed. Bobby. P.S. Read this like I'm a boss. Like, don't get offended. Like, I'm not being rude. I'm just emailing like a boss.

Starting with not being rude. It sounds like the signature is way longer than any email. But it's already there. You don't even have to think about it. It's just there. It just goes with the email. And that way people know, like me who have known you for 10 years, but I still analyze every email.

Longer than 10 years. years. Oh yeah, you're right. Way longer than 10 years. Like 12 or 13 years. But I know like it's just you, yeah, you're just being efficient. I'm going to try it out. I bet I'll clear up. Let's see how many emails I haven't unread in my. Here we go. Oh, 1,647. All right. Start emailing back like a boss. Let's say. There's a baby boom. If you're new to the show, Amy, my co-host, who up here, has two kids. She adopted them from Haiti. One's 10, one's seven. Her daughter's the older. She's 10. And your daughter's the older. She's 10. And your daughter. Her daughter's been talking in her sleep, right? Yes. In English. Oh, wow. Wow, that's cool. Yeah.

I feel like that just means the English is really starting to come out and school is helping them really. I know that she knew English when she got here. I knew she was holding back. But now I can see she's getting more comfortable with it even in her sleep. Wow. So how's your son doing? Because he wasn't as advanced as she was in English. Right.

Totally not. But he's doing better. Communication with him has gotten a lot easier. He's not speaking it as much, but he understands me more. And then he can look at me and say, Mom, I don't know what that means or I don't know what you're saying. And I have to figure out a different way to explain it to him. But that's progress.

Wow. That's pretty cool. I know. Do you guys have? Their little brains grow. Are you learning? like hand signals. Like how do you talk whenever you can't fully say a word?

No, maybe I'll go point to something or find a different way to explain it. But if not, if it's just too difficult, it's probably just not something he's going to grasp quite yet. So we just move on. Do you ever tell your daughter to translate it to your son? Yes. Yeah. Thank you, daughter.

She's really good at it too. And now they used to just talk to each other in Creole sometimes if they wanted to behind our backs, but I really think she's loving that she can communicate with us now. And so sometimes he'll try to get all sassy and say something to us in Creel. And she used to not rat him out. And now she'll say, Mom, Mom, he just said he wants to go to-da-da-da-da-da-da-to-do to you. And I'm like, oh, really? Wait, what does he say?

What does da-da-da-da-da-da mean? Like what are the things he says? Well, I mean, one time he said he wanted to, it's like, going to take my husband's belt off him and spank him. You say, no, that's for mommy. Yeah, or I can't think of other, that's one example that stands out right now. Yeah. Other stuff involving farts, I'm sure.

Oh, I go to Amy's house. All our son wants to do it, that means if I farted. You fought? You fought. It is all we talk about. But my husband has taught my son to excuse himself from the room, go to the restroom, and fart and then come back. Wow, I've never done that.

I have two boys. It's actually pretty awesome because, let me tell you, it's so bad when it goes down. But now I've started to see my son disappear for a second, and then he'll return. And I said, where did you go? He said, I'm into the bathroom to fart. So you're not laughing about it as much, because when you laugh about it, you're asking him to do it more. I don't know. We still laugh about it a lot

Because they're just so cute about it How come you don't do that one lunchbox Does it? Right. Because it's just not cute And he says fart Like they say fuck It's like so cute I'll fart too

It's no problem It's time for the good news With Amy Tell me something good A California sheriff's office shared like the cutest video ever Of a deputy rescuing A little baby bear cub

that he found trapped inside of a trash bin. He had to lower a pallet into the container so that the little bear could use the pallet as a ladder to climb up, you know, like a little wooden pallet. And it's just so cute. The young bear successfully climbed out, runs off, presumably to find his mother.

They don't really know where the bear went. They didn't try to deal with that situation. But also just sending this warning out there to people with several bear and cub sightings around Lake Tahoe the past few weeks. Please remove food from your cars. Keep your cars and homes locked and avoid fluffy four-legged burglars. Oh, come on.

Come on. But they do break into things. They really do. They can like open. Do you see Brooklyn Decker, you know, Andy Rodick and Brooklyn Decker, they live at a place where there's bears sometimes. And a bear went into her SUV, opened the car door, climbed around inside, got into her. Pick up the mail, drove to the mailbox.

Yes. Pay the bill. Starbucks. Picked up some bucks in the family. No, but here's a funny thing. she had a Yeti cooler in there and the bear tried to get into it but couldn't.

She just wasn't a commercial. No, it was a commercial. It wasn't a commercial. It's like a Jeep slash Yeti commercial. No, it was real life. I do like the story though. That's what it's all about. That was Tell Me Something Good.

Bobid Boneshow. Bonehead. Story of the day. This story comes us from San Antonio, Texas. A 26-year-old man was mad because his ex-girlfriend broke up with him. Like, oh, man, broken heart. He's like, I know how I'll get back at her.

I'll rob her. So he waits in the parking lot of her apartment complex. She comes back from work. He pulls out of gun and says, give me all your money. So he got her phone, wallet, and ran away. Only problem is he didn't wear a mask or anything, so she went and told police.

But did she fall back in love with him because of his passion? They did not get back together. See, here's the thing. People, men and women are always looking for that bold act. act, right? But is robbing, does that show passion? Who am I to say what's right and wrong in love? Okay. You know what I mean? But he didn't make it, huh? No, he's in jail

on a $75,000 bond. What idiot. I'm lunchbox, that's your bonehead story of the day. You know, I'm kidding, right? Yes. Some people may not. Let me say, I'm looking at the phones. I'm shocked at how many people have an escape fund. Oh, okay, yeah. An escape fund

is you put a little money to the side just in case you have to escape your marriage. Oh She said the woman Who I read the story about That she was perfectly happy But that every woman should have one Just in case

Now I take it and go broader than women Yeah I mean do you think she's speaking to women That aren't working So then it has to be more shady Because they're putting a They're having to like sneak money into a fund No she says

One of her friends said hey Just put away X amount a month Into your escape fund And so she started doing it And she's happy and Sounds hopeful Like, yeah. Let's go over to Cody first.

Marriage is great, but. Cody in Alabama. Hi, Cody. What's going on, Bobby? What do you think about this, buddy? I actually had one. I had one and had to use it. Hmm.

I didn't put it in there with hoax of a divorce, but I just put, you know, some rainy day money away on the side and wound up having to use it for a divorce. It rained. Yeah, it rained off. Yeah. Hard, and that rain took away half of stuff. Not really.

Amy. Yeah. Do you have car insurance? I do. Don't even talk. This is like a pre-knuck. No, can I just say something without you yelling at me? Yeah.

If I can have the talking stick for a second? Yeah, you can. It's your show. It's our show. Okay. Okay. But. Okay, boss.

If you say, why would you say, why would you? you do that? You don't want it to happen. Same thing with having car insurance. Life insurance. Just in case, you don't want to have a car wreck. But if you do, isn't it nice to be covered? Yeah. For that rain day. You don't want to die. Yeah.

But just in case you do, isn't it good that somebody else is covered? That's all I'm saying. Kelly and North Dakota, you're on the air. Hey. Thank you for calling. What do you think about this escape fund? I think that every person should have a little bit of something set aside for them. And if they need it as an escape fund, then yeah, that's what it is. Question.

Okay, go ahead, yes? Man, this is sick. It's your show, go ahead. Talk. Okay. Does the other person know about this fund, or is it open? Because a pre-nup, you both know about it. It's been signed.

You're all in the know. But if you're just kind of... My husband knows. Oh, okay. So does he... Because he is a sole provider. Like, I work part-time. Wait, hold on.

Wait, what? So he's a sole provider and he's okay with you taking some of the money in case one day, y'all don't work on. I work part-time. Oh, okay. And so I, whenever I have, I do interior painting on the side. So when I have a big job, I put $100 away. And he knows that randomly I just take a little bit of my money and I just put it away. But he knows it's for that, not for, like, clothes.

Well, before we were married, he knew it was for that. Now, we bought a boat with some of it. There you go. And I put it away. Yeah. And I agree with Cody. It's like a rainy day fund. And if that rainy day happens to be an escape, then it has to be an escape.

then it has to be in a skate. Okay. You can call it rainy day funds. Right. It could be for any kind of rainy day. In your mind, though. Because one of my friends just texted me who got divorced recently and goes, hey, yo, skate funds aren't legal. I tried.

Oh, really? Yeah, you can't call it that. It's got to be a different account. And you can't even hide money. Yeah, that's why I'm like people, as long as you know about it doesn't make it more okay. Page. A strong no. In my opinion, you should take whatever money that you're feeling you need to save on the side.

in case of a divorce and buy some counseling for your marriage. That's right. What if it's over? Like what if the counseling is done and you've exhausted it? Okay, then you cannot call it an escape fund. I see what you're saying. Okay, piggy bank. We'll call it piggy bank.

Okay, but if you're just putting money aside in case any crappy thing happens in your life and you just so happen to use it for that, I'm okay with it. But setting aside money is strictly for it, just in case my husband decides to leave me, I'm not okay with. Okay, and I appreciate your opinion.

Wait, hold on. If he's the one that's causing the leaving, then, yeah, it might be good to have a little extra money. Oh, a little hot sauce over there. I don't know. I can't decide. I can't decide. I guess if you both know about it, it just seems so not like hopeful in the right direction. I guess I'm just a southern Louisiana bad dude.

No, I feel you. I'm with you. She agrees with you. I do agree with you. I'm just also, sometimes it seems like, oh, what if you never, I mean, some people are in some really hard situations where they might need a little escape fund. So I don't want to totally blanket hate it. Don't blanket hate it. Hey, Paige, I appreciate you.

Thank you. Thank you. See you later. Hey, let me do another one. Hey, Heather and Austin, what do you think about having an escape fund in a marriage? I had an escape fund. I had a secret account. My husband started turning really mean,

and so I started putting money aside and plans to leave them. And I did it, and I've exhausted all of those funds. So you would recommend what? You know, you should always have money set aside because you never know who you marry until you really divorce them. Dang. You never know who you marry until you divorce them. And then the true side comes out. I just went to her one year long battle with my ex-husband, and it's finally over, but it was expensive.

That just tells me this, Heather, as I'm listening to you, I go. Oh, boy. I feel like Heather knows. She's been through. It's hard for me to go to somebody and take advice if they haven't screwed up a lot. I'm asking about. So that would be, it'd be hard for me to go to a priest and talk about marriage because he's never been married. Oh. So that would be tough for me. So that being said, I feel like someone like Heather who's been through the ring or a divorce, maybe when I find the person I'm going to marry, I divorce them, see how that's going. And if I really feel good

about it, get remarried again, like that's the test. Because you'll never know unless you divorce them. Because I'll never know who I'm married until I divorce them. That's a good philosophy. Dang. I'm kidding a little bit, Heather. But thank you for your story. I appreciate that. And You kept money. You're welcome. All right. I appreciate you. I have so many calls to say they do this that I don't even want to put anybody else on because I'll go to court and play this tape back.

And I don't want to be part of any lawsuit, frankly. So there we have it. A lot of people are doing it. Yeah. I think if there's like concern of safety or something, it's a little bit different, but just overall, like life is great. But I'm good with always regardless, not even relationships. But you would also be good. But having funds.

Like, hey, and if she wants to have one, great. I have no problem with that. I don't think I should get anything that she doesn't or she gets anything I don't. Okay. But if she wanted to do it great. That's fair. Yeah. You probably need an escape fund from me.

You probably need a tunnel out of the bottom of the house. We need a literal and figured. Yeah, everybody has one in here. It's my Bobby escape. I pay Amy's escape fund too. That was part of our deal. I'll fund your escape fund. Yeah, yeah.

Hmm. How would you feel about me, not if, but when I get a pre-nup? what do you mean feel about you? I'm not going to judge you for it. How would you feel? I'd feel like, wow, I really want to see you trust someone someday. And I feel like, I feel like if you ever do decide to get married, that person has had the ultimate trust that none of us have ever experienced.

So I would like to see you just fully just go all the way, you know? But it is all the way. Like we're never getting divorced. It's not going to matter. Listen to you. You're never going to divorce. It's not going to matter. It's pre-nop.

But it's never going to matter. So why not get the car insurance? I'm getting a wreck. It's not going to matter. That's another car sideswice me, and I'm not paying attention. Yeah. Life. So confused.

But I feel like Bobby's marriage can be more like, okay, look, I'm going to live here. You live there. We're going to eat at this time. We're going to be done at this time. I'm going to have this bank count. You have that bank count. Basically, we're going to live separate lives. We're going to be married.

It's a sign here. But she's not going to be judgmental. That's it. Yeah, she's not going to judge. The Bobby Bones show. Do you wish you were a morning person? Was the headline of this article I was reading? I'm not a morning person.

I will never be wired to be a morning person. I do a radio show in the morning, and I wake up a few hours before the show starts, and even when the show starts, I'm still not quite there yet. It's like halfway through the show. But I'm not a morning person. Amy, are you a morning person? Not really.

Really? You're so pleasant. Oh, what? No. And years and years ago when I first took this job, my parents were like, Are you sure? Because, I mean, they're the ones that know well that I'm not a morning person.

But I guess I'm morning overnight. Like, I'm not a night out. Like, I don't want to stay up. I would sleep until noon, 1 p.m. every day. Oh, yeah. I don't want to do that. Yeah. Wait, do we have anybody that's a morning?

Lunchbox, do you a morning person? No, I'm awesome all day, but I'd rather stay up late at night and sleep all morning. We have four people here, none of us are morning people? That's correct. My point is, if they put us on the afternoon, we'd be a killer show. Could you imagine? Dude, pitch that. You know what I would do, though?

I'd sleep all day until the show started. So you do. And then I'd be the same thing. Yeah, yeah, I'd be the same thing. And then I wake up, they're like, oh, I've got to wake up at 2 p.m. Oh, I'm so tired. Yeah. Dude, my 3-year-old son, he wakes up smiling and laughing every day.

And I'm like, how do you do this? Ray, are you a morning person? Yeah. You are? Yeah. What do you like about the morning? I love just getting up early when it's dark and nobody else's awake. You do?

Yeah. Man, that's weird. I like waking up and it being sunshiny and light outside, and I feel like half the day's already gone. Yes. That's the bad half of it. the day. Oh, I don't like that feeling. Does that make me a morning person? I do not like that. Well, there's a becoming a morning person by doing these 12 things and it tells you things to do. Become a morning person. I read the first one. I was like, too early. I went out. Yeah, I want to read

I did. I'll play a song from the very beginning of the song. You have to sing the first line. Oh, yeah. Okay. So the music will stop right as the song starts, but you have to pick up from where it stops. And I'm just going in order of the sheet. We'll give all three you guys, Amy, Lunchbox, and our producer Eddie, a couple shots. Are you ready, Amy? Ready.

Sam Hunt, take your time. I used to drive out your house and how many words. I don't know if you were looking at me and not. It's the right idea. Close, close, close, close. So, no. Lunchbox. Yeah, I'm ready.

Pondoon from Little Big Town We're going out on The water Back this hitch up into the water It was not close at all What I got water Did you know? Because a couple of my friends wrote that song

The first lyric is back this hitch up into the water But that wasn't how they wrote it originally Hitch wasn't the word Yeah, yeah yeah I think it's in the Bobbycast It is in the Bobbycast Yeah Oh, don't figure it out.

Eddie. Yeah, come on. Here you go. Come on. Derek Spentley drunk on a plane. I had two tickets on the way to Cancun. I took two weeks vacation for the honeymoon. I thought it was like...

Nobody got one right. Let's go back around one other time. Come on. Amy. Yeah. Strawberry wine, Dana Carter. I love this song. We were thirsty for knowledge.

Oh, yeah. Oh, take it! My grandpa's farm. I thought he had a car. Listen, here's an, oh, well, the next line was, I was thirsting for knowledge. Yeah. And he had a car. That's right.

Yeah. Lunchbox, you don't know anything. I know that song. Bring it on. I know that song. You did not know that. He didn't know that song, you're right. Lunchbox, you ready?

I'm ready. Okay. Low cash. I love this life, okay? Oh, man. I'm going outside tonight. I love my. I love.

Guys. No, I won the game last time. For sake of the game. Yeah. Do we keep him in? I won the last time. Yeah, we all are in. But he just yells words.

It's fine. I won the game last time. He's never close. Okay. Eddie, ready? Yeah. Eddie, you can win this? It's the last one.

But don't because it's fun. But it's the last one. No, no. Somebody has to win it, Amy. One more time. Please win. Come on. Oh, you had Dina Carter.

Stop. Yeah, yeah. He's tired about. Went to college. Barefoot Blue Gene Knight. I got it. Eddie stood up. Taking my shoes off.

He's taking their shoes off. All right, here you go. Full moon shining bright. Full moon shining bright. That's the end of the winner. There he is. That was literally the easiest one on the sheet. Amy, no.

You had Dina Carter's strawberry wine. Yeah, but I knew full moon shining. Hit me with one more. Come on. There are no more. I just said that. Amy, my song was playing. I'm sorry, dance

Aye, aye, aye, aye, a Arriva. Oh my goodness. It's time for the good news. With Bobby. Tell me something good. I got one for you. Police in Utah say a greyhound

bus passenger jump behind the steering wheel and pulled the bus over to the side after the driver passed out while driving. Now, that's a tough decision to have to make. Because is the driver really passed out? What do you do with their body?

Throw them real quick? Do you sit on their lap? Oh, yeah. Again, a question you have to wonder. Do you just sit on their lap? All things I would go, what do I do? How do I do this? Yeah.

Crawl in their body. Am I going to go to jail? Because what if they're really not passed out? Is there an emergency break? And when you pull that, is it like a sudden stop? Or do you slowly hit the break and bring it to a stop? The Utah Highway Patrol says the passenger took over after realizing the bus driver was losing consciousness. So again, you're taking a risk because losing, not lost.

losing. You're like, oh boy, he didn't look good. Kind of risky for me to jump in there. But according to the trooper, the passenger stopped the bus with 20 other people on the board. The bus hit the concrete barrier on the side of the highway. No serious damage. No one was hurt. The driver who suffered a medical episode taken to the hospital and recovering. Wow. But the passenger stopped the bus from crashing into other cars. Woo! Clutch thinking there. Good call. Because imagine if the driver wasn't passing out and someone tried to throw them off the chairwell?

Yeah, he'd get awkward. So good for him. I mean, they knew. And, yeah, save people. That's your good news, and that's what it's all about. That was Tell Me Something Good. If getting a good night's sleep is apported to you as it is, to me, there's nothing worse than those random nighttime noises that can keep you awake. Someone snoring nearby, or late-night roadwork, or the dog in the backyard next door barking.

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The morning corny. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? No, I did not hear about the restaurant on the moon. Yeah, great food. No atmosphere. Come on. She's back. She's back, folks.

That's the morning corny right there. That was the morning corny. What I will do is I will read a song in a dramatic form. Oh, boy. Like a slam poem. You have to name what country song it is. Oh, cool. Okay?

Yeah. I like this. Okay. There we go. Got a girl. from the south side. Is it Eddie? I know my name.

Let's write it down. I'm in the middle of our performance. I'm in the middle of a performance over here. My bad. When you go to your slam poetry sessions, do you ever interrupt the first time? Never. Sorry.

I should have known better. Let me do it again. Got a girl from the south side. Got braids in her hair. First time, I seen her walk by. Man, I about fell about my chair. All right.

Amen. Named that slam poem Don't look at my paper, Eddie. Amy. Sam Hunt, body like a back road. Lunchbox. Body like a back road. Eddie?

Body like a back road. That's right there. Got a girl from the south side. Got a brazen air. Like that one? This sounds like too. Already like slam poetry. Yeah, it's good.

Okay, thank you. Ready for this one? Yeah. Been up. Since the crack of dawn. Just trying to to get paid. It's been hotter than a hundred sons.

I can't find no shade. I'm in. I'm in too. Keep going now. Just two more roads. I'm good to go. Yeah, I'm shutting. This track you down.

I'm in for the win. Amy? Dirt on my boots. Matchfogs? The weekend. Eddie? Dirt on my boots. my boots. There you go.

They're like, since the cracker dawn. Just trying to get paid. Been hotter than a hundred suns. I can't find no shade. All right. Name that slam poem. They're like, hey, who that there?

But the shade's like, oh. The way you move to the base. Hold up. Wait, what? How long is this spinning from the second you walked in here? Because you look good. What? I'm in.

I'm in. A little bit more. Yeah, yeah. Keep going. Go ahead. Encore. They're like, hey. Who that there?

Who that there? I'm in. Let's go to lunchbox first because if he missed it, he's eliminated. Lunchbox? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Black. What? Eddie.

You look good. Lady A. Hey, Moodyev. You look good. I don't even know the words of that. Good. There you go. Co-winners. Co-winners. Yes, Amy and Eddie are better.

I, uh, congratulations, T-Bove. Oh, thank you, thank you. A slam poem. Oh, yeah, I got to play your winning songs. Oh, no, too. Our first winner, Amy. There she goes. There she goes again.

Our second winner, Eddie. Thank you all. The one. I love the story about couples that watch TV in separate rooms. I got an email from a guy named Tim. My wife would often sit in different rooms to watch TV because we cannot agree on the same. show. Last night she watched

CMT and I watched basketball. It doesn't bother me, but it does bother her and our friends make fun of us. So that was the email he said. Is it weird for couples to watch TV in different rooms? Now, I meant not a couple. So I watch the TV in my own room. But you guys

are all married. Amy? I can totally relate to that with sports. For sure. If there's football or basketball or whatever it is, if he wants to go watch it in another room, okay by me. You good with that? Yeah. I got other things to watch. Like. Bravo.

Just the channel. She doesn't have nothing else. Just a channel. Yeah. Lunch bikes? We watch TV in several rooms all the time. Yeah, because she gets on that Law and Order SVU and I'm like, I'm out and I go upstairs, watch something else. Eddie?

I don't think it's weird at all. I don't think it's very healthy. So you could probably strengthen your relationship a little more if you can relate to one show and watch it together. But I don't think it's weird. Okay, football's like four hours long. Yeah, watch it with your husband. They've spent the games up a bit this year to be fair. Oh, that's amazing.

So, only three out of 58 minutes. Oh, maybe I'll check, uh, inning out. So, hey. So all three of you guys are separate room watchers, huh? Yeah. Yeah. It's fine. I think that's pretty current. I don't think it's super progressive or anything.

No. Yeah, no. Or you two laptops beside each other. Exactly. I was not to say, because we used to only have one TV. This is the first time in our marriage that we've had multiple, like more than one TV. So if you only had one TV, I guess, yeah, laptop. Hey, Tim.

Take a break. You're good, buddy. Go watch your show. Bobby Bones Show. Tina, and one of my favorite places, Bakersville, California. Hey. Hi there.

Thanks for calling. What's your question? My son's getting married, and he wants us to do a mother's son dance. That's cool. And unfortunately, I can't come up with the song. He sent me a song a couple of days ago, and I literally could not get through the first three,

probably words that they said without crying, and it was just too sad, and I wanted something memorable for us, but not something that's so, I'm going to cry on the whole dance for it throughout the whole entire song. So I thought it would kind of call him and see if you had a recommendation. Well, you're going to cry anyway. I mean, it sounds like you're ready to go right now, honestly.

Like, this is a big deal for you. What was the song that he recommended? You know what? I really couldn't tell you because I honestly could not get through probably, like, the first four or five words of the song. Well, I can give you a couple just Evergreen, like really good songs, that if you play aren't going to be weird but they're big songs

for example like I hope you dance from Leon Womack like that song is just like it's not romantic it's about love and opportunity it's about life and it's like you know if things don't work out

find it just it's just a good message of a song like I think that's a good mom's son dance song because you gotta be weird because if it starts to get a little romantic in the song it starts to be a little weird right And it's tough to have a slow dance song that's not romantic. And this is one of them. This is very much to be a mom talking to a son.

So that's a good. I would recommend that one. Anybody have any problem with that one? No, I like that one. Everybody's kind of like, huh? It was interesting at first, but it makes sense now. It's like a life song. Yeah.

So that one, or I would recommend And like, what a wonderful world. Older song, but man, this is such a beautiful song. I see trees of green, red, I see them blue for me and you. And I think to myself a wonderful world. Like that's a good one. Yeah. They're just beautiful songs, right?

They're not romantic. You can't do, you know, Tim and Faith. It's your love? Yeah. It just does something to me. Yeah, that'd be awkward. It's a ballad song. Ballads are mostly love songs.

Unless it's like burning house where it's sad. Oh, man. You know? I had a dream about a burning house. Wait, mom? What? Why are you telling me this, mom? So those are the two that I would say right there.

I'll give those recommendations. And thank you for the call. I appreciate that. Good luck. Congratulations. So Lunchbox mentors a kid. He doesn't like to talk about it because he's always like, I'm tough.

I don't do nice things. But he does. Like, he mentors a kid. How old is the kid? He is in second grade. Eight. Yeah. So, you can tell him what happened.

So I was at mentoring the other day, and I don't know if they're just learning about this whole 911 thing or whatever, but we're walking by, like the, I guess it's the information desk where a receptionist usually sits during the day, and there's a telephone back there. And he runs back there and dials 911, and he called, and they answer, and he's like, I just called to say, what up. And he hung up the phone. Oh, no. What'd you do, mentor? Yeah, what'd you do? You probably told them to do it. Exactly.

They all laughed. They both laughed and ran away. I'm just like, do it again, do it again. No, I'm just like, you did not really just call. You did not really just call. I'm like, oh, my goodness. And they call right back. I'm like, no, everything's good.

But then they have to send a cop up there. Boy, yeah, you answered. Everything's good. It's okay. And then don't man answers. No. I know an eight-year-old just called, but it's all right. I know I'm an adult man, unknown, with an eight-year-old.

All-good ear. I promise, I'm not dangerous. I'm a good guy. Trust me. That's no teeth, Keith. All good. I had the best mentor, too. He taught me everything enough.

Good thing you're answering that phone lunch. We'll be at the park. I mean, what is I supposed to do? I mean, oh, man. So, wait. So, oh, my stomach. left the tour. So he calls 911.

They call back. You answered. They say, is there a problem? I said, no. And I tried to explain this situation. I'm the mentor. What is the situation? You okay?

I said, well, look, I mentored this after school program, and I'm the mentor. That's my mentee. And I guess they're learning about 911. And he just saw the phone and he called. And they're like, and I'm like, everything's good. And they're like, okay. And they send a cop up there anyway, just to make sure. So when the cop arrives.

Oh, I didn't handle it after that. That's when the head of the program has to deal with it. I don't have to deal with that. Like, I was like, did you mentor your kid and you went afterward about that and what it happens?

Well, I was just like, you can't do that. Like, you're going to get in trouble and he's like, no, no, they tell you to call 911. And I was like, and so now he's suspended

for a couple days. Oh, no. From what? From the after school program. Because you can't do that. He got suspended? Absolutely. Can you go rogue mentoring?

No, no, I can't go rogue because they pick up with the school bus and everything and bring him to the facility. Amy brought up a great point that was totally laughed over because we're all laughing. Lunchbox was mentoring a kid that got suspended on his wife. Yes. Yeah.

So, guys, you should have gotten suspended. You can't bite me. You're suspended. I am not the one that picked on the phone and called 911. You have to start putting that probably in your application to mentor. Like, you're a permanent record. Your mentee got suspended from mental. So tell us about your past experience.

Oh. Well, got a kid kicked out of mentee class. That kid's like later in life Like it's wherever Switting for a well It all started What happened? He's like

Well it all started back when I was in second grade And I had this mentor Name Lunchbox Dang dude Dang dude Yeah Do you tell your kid about your The gang you were in

Little White criminals No I haven't told him anything about that I'm trying to teach him Like respect And how to respect others Keep your hands of yourself Keep your hands of yourself We got to treat others how you want to be treated things like that.

You try to teach them that. That is interesting. You got to do, like in the second semester, we'll do smart goals where they come over the goal that's, you know, specific, measurable, attainable, and traceable. What's your goal? Oh, you forgot the R. What's R? He didn't do R. Reachable.

Did you say it? Yeah, I think I said reachable. No, because that's attainable. I don't remember. Do you remember the rule? No, it's something like that. If you forget, just call 911. They get all the answers.

That's funny, man. Bobby Bones. The Bobby Bones. It's time for the good news. With lunchbox. Tell me something good. Paul Wood was having headaches. Couldn't figure out why he was having headaches every single day.

He goes to see a neurosurgeon says, ooh, you got a tumor. We're going to have to have an operation in about a month. So he puts a plea on Facebook, please pray for me, pray for me. Day before the surgery, goes in, gets it scan. the tumor has disappeared without any medical treatment. Wow. It's always wild whenever it just disappears. Yeah.

Because I've heard that a few times with people where they go. It's something and all of a sudden there's nothing. What do you think that is? No idea. And I guess if you knew the answer, if you knew the answer to that, Amy, I'd be like, wait, what? I know. A lot of doctors didn't know that, but you did. So I'm glad you didn't know.

Actually, a lot of prayer and a miracle. Or sometimes, I don't know. Like, they can think they see something. and then it's not really there. I don't know. Well, good. That's a good story. I like that.

Lunchbox, thank you for sharing that. That's what's all about right there. That was Tell Me Something Good. Bobby phones. The Bobby Bones show. People are paying 500 bucks for an O.J. Simpson autograph. I'll pass. I'm like giving them five nickels for one.

Amy, the coolest autograph you have. I have Taylor's supposed to autograph on a guitar. That's a good one. And it's a super special way that I got it, so I love it. And I'll always keep it. Yeah, because someone's, signed it one of our taylor signed it somewhere but a listener bought it in an auction and gave it back to you yeah it i mean it was just an amazing little gesture was it because your mom was sick

yeah so he's a doctor pretty sure he works in cancer and then my mom had cancer and then we were doing a tornado relief fundraiser so he went on bought the taylor's of guitar and then gifted it to me that's a good one yeah it's super special and i'll always have it that's a good one it's a special one my special one? Yeah. There was this fella. Maybe he hadn't heard of him, I don't know, named Garth Brooks, right?

Oh, yeah, yeah. It comes in the first time he's been in, and I know Garth now, but at the time, I was just like, holy gal, this is Garth Brooks. And he plays on the show, and then he gives me his guitar and signs it, and I have it.

Yeah. And he signed it upside down, too. So it's an error card. Oh, the error. Yeah. And he gave you the guitar, too. He gave me the guitar, the case. He gave me the case.

That's right. And so I have guards to guitar with the case, and you know, this big long message on it. And I don't even hang that up in my house. And you have video proof, too, of him playing the guitar. Yeah. So you just have it in the case? It's in like a safe. It's in another safe.

It's in another country and a Swiss bank. Okay. Oh, smart. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Coolest autograph that you have, Shelby in Gainesville, Florida. You're on. Hi. Oh, my gosh.

Hi. I'm such a fan. Thank you very much. So I have a Luke Brian autograph, but it was back when he was opening for Rascal Flats. That's cool. You got an old school autograph. That's cool. Yes.

So we were at the merchandise table after the concert, and he just walked up to the merch table. And we were like, um, is that the guy that opened? So he signed my shirt. We got a cool picture, and it's been years. But now he's like this big thing and it's awesome. It's especially cool because it was pre-Luke Luke. You know what I mean? Yeah.

That's a go, hey, I appreciate you. I appreciate you. Thank you for calling. Hey, Kate in Alabama. Hi. Tell me about this autograph that you have where you're like, this is cool. I have Jonathan Taylor Thomas's autograph. From home improvement.

Yes. How'd you get that? He was at Planet Hollywood, and my dad took me to meet him because I, like, had posters all over my room. And I shook his hand, and for two days I didn't wash my hands because, I wanted his germs on me. I even stuck a rubber glove on the hand that I shook him, shook his hand with, and I still have that rubber glove. Ata, girl.

That's awesome. His germs are preserved. Appreciate you. Appreciate you. Lunchbox, favorite autograph. When I was working at Jason's deli and San Antonio, I'm sitting there working, I look up and Tim Duncan is going through the line from the San Antonio Spurs, so I handed him a Jason's deli menu and had him sign it.

Basketball player, Amy. I know. Just make it, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I didn't know if you knew it because sometimes you don't. Oh, yes. I'm aware. Thank you very much. Chelsea, can't know how.

Hi. Hi. Who's the coolest autograph you have? I have LeBron James' autograph. Wow. From when? He had just graduated high school, and he was getting ready to play in the NBA. And I was young at the time, and I didn't realize it,

but we were at a high school football game, and he was sitting like two rows in front of, of us and my dad said he's going to be really famous, go down and get his autograph, and I did. That's cool. Wow. You got old school LeBron autograph. Hey, appreciate you. Appreciate you. Thank you. Thank you for all the calls, everybody. Man, those are awesome. Lunchbox lets his dog go to the bathroom people's yards all time and doesn't pick it up, right? Correct. It's kind of your thing. That's just the way over the world. It's fertilizer. It's whatever. It's just inconvenient. And it's been going on for years and there's no reason to change now.

So the irony is he sees someone letting their dog use the bathroom Except it's not in a yard where was it? It was in the airport Wait what? In the airport Literally right there on the carpet Like you know how people have their dogs walking around now on leashes She had one of those stretchable leashes

And the dog starts to squat to go to the bathroom Leaves two big old logs And then she just drag the dog away You could have just said number two Oh number two I think her to be having a droppings. There, dude. Yeah.

So wait, she didn't pick it up in the yard? No. And it was like, it's kind of like brownish carpet. It's dark carpet. Oh, so she thought it was a camphalajia. Oh, no way. No. How horrible if you're like boarding a flight and you step in that.

Nothing to see. Did you not say something to her? No, she was going one way. I was going the other. I was running. But you saw, citizens arrest? Listen, I avoided it, so I wouldn't worry about it. What kind of human lets her dog,

take a crap in an airport. A bad one. And then lets it just go. Yeah, because then she walked into like a restaurant or whatever. Like she went to... And you said nothing? Said, I mean, there's other people around. Why is it my job? I don't know. We need to get that picked up. Oh, no. Was it a service dog? Oh, no. It doesn't matter? Yeah. It was like a little pool. Why? What if she couldn't see? Or she didn't know what the dog was doing? Oh, you mean if it was like a seeing eye dog.

Right. Oh, it is. Okay. Lunchbox is like, oh yeah, minor knee dills. She was blind? No, no, no, no. Okay. Just check it. Okay, well, if you're listening and that's you, you're a bad person for that. So I look better now. No, you don't look better.

This is not a make lunchbox like better segment. Did you go pick it up? No, I went to get on the airplane. Bobby Bones. The Bobby Bones show. This couple, they go in, they do Jerry Duty, they meet during Jerry Duty. They get engaged. When they decide to get married, they go.

asked the judge that presided over the case that they were Jerry dutying on to marry them. I thought wasn't that cute? I said, any more listeners have a story like this? Hey, Trey and Mississippi. Yeah. What up, buddy? What's up? Tell me your story.

I got this quick and shot, I met my wife on a Disney internship, and we ended up getting engaged and married at Disney World. How about that? You love Disney, huh? We are a huge Disney fan. Man, congratulations. How long you've been married? It'll be almost five years in November. Man, best two years of your life?

I've been the best so far. Hey, thank you very much, Trey. Let me go over to Brooke in Indiana. Hey, Brooke. Hey. What up? Hi. Mine isn't about getting married, but it's about getting engaged.

My husband and I met when we were in college, our freshman year. He was my coach for our Powder Puff Football team, and then fast forward four years. We did it all four years. He was my coach again, and I told him, if we were going to engage, I just wanted to be surprised. Well, he pulled it out on me. I had no idea. He surprised me in the middle of our Potterpuff football game. He called a timeout and proposed in the middle of the game.

How about that? Now, you're talking about coach. Like, he was probably a student who was coaching? Correct. Okay, okay. It's not like Coach Wilson, who's 57 years old, grizzled veteran of the gridiron. No, we were both freshmen, we were both seniors all through that.

That's a sweet story. Thank you for sharing that with us. You're welcome. Have a good day, as always. I appreciate you. Hey, Caitlin in New Orleans. Hi, Bobby. What up?

Caitlin, tell me your story. He's at daycare, and then we met again in high school, dated all through high school, and ended up getting married at the daycare. I like that. Wow. That's cool. Both our kids actually go to the same daycare. Come on. Wow.

Wow. Wow. That's a good one. Thank you for that. Have a good day. Hey, thanks for listening in New Orleans. Of course. Thank you. Bye, bye. Man, we did have listeners to have cool stories. Man, I appreciate you. Eddie got mad at his waiter. Have you guys heard this story yet? Of course, Eddie got mad at someone in the service industry. Lunchbox? You would be too.

Okay, hold on. I forgot about the lunchbox. You mean that Eddie is like... Yeah, Eddie has no... Chronically gets mad at servers. Yeah. Customer service is important to me. Eddie's our video producer. Been married for 11 years? Yeah, 11 years.

Two kids. Maybe 12. Oh, gosh, I've got to figure that out. What happened? So we're just sitting down to eat. We sit down, the waiter comes up, and he looks right at my wife. He's like a Latin guy. He's got an accent.

Aren't you a Latin guy? Yeah, yeah, but I don't talk like the way he did. He talked like this. And he looks at my wife and goes, good evening, my love. And gives her the menu. Then he looks at all of us, me and my kids. He goes, good evening, guys. and I was like, what?

Okay, no big deal. Whatever, right? We eat. We're waiting for our food. Our food comes. She gets her chicken. It's in the shape of a heart. I'm not kidding.

Chicken breast can be, though. Yeah, so he split it perfectly where it'll look like a heart like this bones. And I finally tell my wife, I throw my force. That's it. What, do you notice? Do you realize he's like, oh, totally. Is he totally hidden on me? I'm like, yes, he's hitting on you.

He called you my love. He gives you the chicken in the shape of a heart. You realize he just wants a tip. Yeah, that's all he's doing. You want a tip? Don't hit on my wife. I'm paying, obviously. Is that what you wrote on your receipt?

Tip. Tip. Lay off my wife. You're ridiculous. Again, let me just play server's advocate. Go ahead. Okay, yeah. As a server myself for many years.

If a wife comes in with a husband and kids I know she's off limits So I'm gonna play to her That's who you play to You do? Of course How about the kids? How about like

Hey little guys? What are you all gonna eat? Like no you go straight to the wife And be like my love Nice shirt do you have there Like get out of here Did he talk about our clothes? No he just said my love

Okay now you're adding to it Yes of course But he's like adding to it anyway And now he's like rushing or something I have a picture of the chicken If he dies He dies He dies

Now he's running the Yeah He's not the cook he's the server. Like, maybe the cook is into her. You don't think he went to the cook and be like, can you make that in the shape of a heart? No, Eddie. Ford of my love.

The server's got to play to somebody. And there's no risk in flirting with a wife with the husband and two kids there. There is risk if he flirts with you. There's risk. Not with her. Okay. Lunchbox. And you got to be like, yeah.

And she's coming home with me. What on? She's coming home with daddy. You got to be proud of that. Like, my wife is hot. People are, even if he is into her. Who cares? Be like, I'm glad he recognized.

she's a hottie. Extra tip. I wouldn't say it in lunchbox's words like haughty and daddy, but he has on to something. It should make you feel as the husband like, oh, wow, my wife's looking good. Why are you so threatened by service industry people all the time? It's not certain. Like customer service, you're always like angry with them. You want good service. You have to complain sometimes. Did you complain? Nope.

How much did you tip him? What percentage? Normal 20%. Oh, no way. I did. I'm saying no way that's normal for you. Oh, 20%. Yeah. I'm going to wrap it up for today. you so much for listening. On Instagram, I'm Mr. Bobby Bones. You can click and follow. Let's say appreciate you guys being here. Lots of options for you. So the fact that you listen to us,

we really appreciate that. And if you spend 10 minutes or five hours, we appreciate that. Listen to the show back on Iheart Radio or iTunes. Just search Bobby Bones show. Thank you very much. Go Bobby Bones. The Bobby Bones show. All right. If you have ever dealt with a traditional home security company, you know the drill. expensive monthly fees, contracts that lock you in for years, and waiting around for a technician to set everything up. It's a lot. Well, now they're SimplySafe. They have completely changed the game.

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