The Bobby Bones Show - Monday Morning Confessions + Woodpecker At Amy's House + High Maintenance Men

Episode Date: January 15, 2018

Monday Morning Confessions, Woodpecker At Amy's House and High Maintenance Men Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. Bobby Bones, everybody. Transmitting across America. This is a Bobby Bones show. Come on, Bobby. Yeah. Good morning.

Welcome to the show. Everybody good? Good. Yep. Cool. I like that. Good morning. What do I say?

Come on. What are you about to say? Good morning. He said, good morning. Ship. I know. I say, good morning. show and the good morning

what do I say Good morning studio I do I do every time you know how sometimes you'll say a word over and over and the words like starts to look funny Yeah sound funny every time I don't ever remember saying Good morning show just start doing shit I like that Good morning studio Good morning studio

That's weird man that didn't feel right David's on in Fayette the Larkinson Hi David Hey what's going on Bobby you know what up early in the morning Taking your call what can I do for you? Yeah man uh you know I've got a fifth year anniversary coming up and I really need to blow this one out of the water with a gift and I am just lost. Are you married anniversary or like together anniversary?

Yeah, yeah, no, we've been married. I was going on five years, you know, and it seems like that those five years I've just, I'm lost for gifts now. It's like I'm drawing a blank and need some advice. Right, let me help you. Let me help you. Okay, so here, you have two options. If you're wanting to just crush it, David, you have two, one, two options, and that's it. One, you either go and spend a ton of money, which I don't recommend, but that's the easy way, but you have to spend a bunch of money, right? Or two, you spend almost no money and you make her something. Those are the two ways to blow it out of the water. I always prefer that second way of putting time into it.

Some people will spend money and be like, I just want to get something nice. I would say that you make her something. Now, do you have anything that you've been, like, stashing around from when you guys first started, like, dating or got married, anything like that? Right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, we've got a few things. The thing about women, and let me tell you. Oh, tell me. Tell me. Women just like it when men try, because we're dumb, and we don't get it right most of the time, but we can try most of the time.

And if we try, that's where it is. That's where the success comes. It's just in the trying. You can screw it up, but if you really try hard, it's almost like we're eight when we're, We just trying hard for our parents. That's what men are to women. So if you make her something, David, or you, that's the, that's to blow it out of the water. Okay.

Yeah, I did the personal gift on Christmas, but, yeah, I kind of put the wrong date on there. Oh, what? That's okay. You tried. It's all about trying. And she probably loved it, right? Did she love it? Left about it, yeah.

Okay, okay. Two options, either spend all your money or spend no money and do something like heartfelt. Right. There you go. And that's why I'm not married. Those who can't do teach. That's why I'm a teacher of relationships and parenting. Recognizing people, doing cool things.

It's ICU. Now, let me tell you a story. Kaden Wilson, a little boy in Houston, he said, hey, listen, I don't want to have a birthday party. This is 7th birthday. I don't have a birthday party because I just don't think anybody's going to come out of a lot of friends at school. Oh, man. So it was just him saying it. They didn't have it, and then nobody showed up.

He's like, I just don't think it's a good idea. So his mom's like, okay, I'm going to reach out to this cop. This officer has a big social media following around town. And so he put the thing on his webpage and his Facebook page. And so strangers donated desserts and cakes for a party. And then some else covered the cost of the party. And then 200 people showed up at the party at Urban Air Trampoline Park because they were like, yeah. Oh, my gosh.

That's a crowd. That's a bigger than any party I've ever had. Bigger than my wedding. That's like a rave. Just a good had a birthday rave. I see you. This is Bobby Bones. I really enjoy the fighter, and I have for a long time.

So it makes me dance a little bit. And I've never been one to hate a parody. I actually enjoy them. We do them ourselves sometimes. But Eddie's kids have started doing parodies. Oh, awesome. Yeah, this is on their own. I mean, this isn't my proudest dad moment or anything,

but they're in this phase of their life where everything's got to be about poop and potty and butts and farts. They're nine and three. I know, but that's all they joke about. Like, really. What does lunchbox joke about? It's the same kind of humor. Exactly.

My kids' lunchbox. Okay, so here's Eddie's 9-year-old and 3-year-old doing the fighter, but to their own words. Okay. And they're just singing in the car, right? Yeah, that's what they do. What if I do? What if I fart? And if I win?

And if I win. Oh, my goodness. That's y'all's version. Yeah. You weren't happy with Keith Urban's version, so you got to change it and make it your own. Yes. You guys are gross. Listen, they're crazy, man.

Play it again. Everybody in the room smiled. Yeah, it's cute. They're crazy. From the top. I know. What if I can't? I will let you put.

What if I fart? I will let you fart. And if I will. Oh, my goodness. Hey, they have potential, Eddie. Yeah. They're writers for the rage of the idiots too now. Yeah, man.

That's a jam kind of. We had to remix that. Bobby Bowles. Here's your story. Firefighters had to use a heavy-duty cutting tool to free three children who accidentally locked themselves inside a gun safe. The kids were three and four years old.

They were okay, but they were young kids. It was a gun safe. Yeah. It's a safe, though. A gun safe's a safe just built a whole guns inside of it. Like, it's just a safe. They weren't guns in there? I don't know.

It was just delivered to the house and it was in the garage. And so they hadn't come up with a code yet. And the instructions were inside and the kids got in. They crawled in. That's so scary. The fire chief and all the guys showed up and they had to like, and imagine you're having to cut into where kids are. That's scary.

So I was like, whatever happened here with people on their kids? Melissa and Nashville, you're on. Yes. A couple months ago, I was heading out to the garage in my two-year-old lock. me out into the garage and I couldn't get in the house and two so I couldn't explain them how to open and unlock the door and for a little bit I couldn't get out of the garage but finally I did I was able to get outside and I was in my underwear. Oh no!

And thankfully we have a spare keys I was able to get inside the house but for a little bit I was panicked that I was stuck in the garage. That's funny. Yeah. In your underwear. That's funny. I feel like, am I getting locked out, like, butt-naked? That'd be terrible.

I'll walk out in the door shut the behind. You're like, oh. Adam and Eve style, you're like in leaves. And you got to go knock at someone's door, like, excuse me, can I borrow a towel? Hey, Gillian and Virginia. Hello. Hi. So when I was little, we used to watch, my mom used to watch our neighbor, and we were playing in front of her house for some reason.

And we started locking ourselves in between her front door and the glass door. and it was funny and everything. We were facing outwards, but then I decided to face inward towards the front door. She locked it, closed me in, and then I couldn't reach my hand up to get out. So I had to, I can't remember how long I was there, but my dad had to actually come with a crowbar

and open the door and get me out in front of, like, the entire neighborhood. Yeah, kids, huh? I got no kids. Do the darnest things. Kids. You kids do anything like this? They've locked us out of a room. And that's the hardest.

When she said, the last lady said that, you know, it's a two-year-old and you know how to explain to them, that's scary because you're like, they're never going to open this door. Ashlam and Mississippi. Yes. How are you? Really good. Thanks for calling. What's going on? I was just in calling me.

My older son, when he was almost two years old, locked himself from my same convertible with the keys inside the car. and the unlock button he kept hitting it, and then apparently it had a short in it. So I'd get my husband to come from work and get him. And he was in the car like 45 minutes. I was freaking out. I didn't know if I needed to call the police. And finally, my son was able to hand the key through

at the hard top of the bar between the window and get out. And so he's two? Yes, he was two. We had driving my oldest kids off at the bus stop, and so we were riding back down. the driveway in my car so he was just sitting in the front seat so I got out, walked around to get him

and apparently he locked the car when I got out. Oh, man. Wow. Amy's friend locked her kids in the car and she had to bust the window, right? Yeah. Oh, and my sister, my nephew, got locked in the car too, but she was able to

instruct him to unlock it, but barely because he was like three or four. And then, yeah, friends had to bust the window. It happens. That's a big decision to bust that window. Hey, get ready. Are you ready for this? Bam, baum, baum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.

Ready. I got a good time like something good. Are you ready for this? Are you ready for this? Da-da-da-da-da-da-da. I didn't know what you were doing. And now I get it. Are you ready for this?

Oh boy, we shouldn't do that together. It's like, yeah, yeah. A fifth grade class who had been talking over FaceTime with a U.S. Army sergeant who was serving time in Afghanistan because they were like, we want to give back. He just showed up their classroom. What? It was supposed to be their last virtual visit with him.

Yeah? Oh. And they were like, oh, we can't connect him. And he shows up. That's cool. I get it now. That's cool. And he brought him candy.

And he was like, thank you so much for talking to me while I was overseas. Let me ask you this question. Were you ready for that? Dun, done, done, da, da, da, da. Okay. You're missing a beat. I know. Missing lots of beats.

It happens. Yeah. Amy. So two women that were pen pals for 71 years, finally met face-to-face. they started riding each other in 1946. What? Wow.

Yeah. Then they got to meet over Skype. Then one of them hopped on an airplane, never had flown before, and got to meet her pen pal in person. How was that? Was it a real person? She said it was a catfish.

I have the exact quote here. Geriatric. Coming next week on MTV. No, it was real. That would have been some crazy catfishing that started in 1946. That was hardcore. The most hardcore.

catfishing story of all times. It took 71 years. Old person catfish. She described it as a marvelous adventure. You know when Ray's laughing at something is funny? Because Ray, our producer, stands behind me. Never laughs at a thing. Never. He's like the guy that stands up front of the palace. Yeah, you can't make them laugh. Yeah, they don't even blink, did they? I don't know. Which I thought blinking was involuntary, but they don't do it. They have to blink. No, they don't. They have to blink. No. Her eyeballs.

Okay. Amy I. That's right. There's this 37-year-old woman in California. She was 38 weeks pregnant. She started having chest pains, goes to the doctor and finds out she has a life-threatening heart condition. If she would have gone into labor, it would have killed her. So they were able to do a C-section, six-pound baby healthy, mom healthy.

Little chest pain saved her life. Dang. How about that? There you go. Talking about if your man's high. maintenance or not and what it is about them. Hey, Kristen and Columbia, how are you? I'm good, how are you? I'm really good. Thank you for calling. What do you have for us? All right, so my husband is extremely particular when it comes to his laundry in multiple facets.

Gosh, I hope he's listening right now, too. Do you want us to call them? Oh, yes. Okay, hold on. I'll put you on hold on hold on a minute. Okay. Hey, Kristen on in line one. You hear me? Crystal in line one, her husband needs to hear what she's about to say. So she'll give you his number. We'll get them both on the phone. We can callers calls, right? Yeah, I think so.

We have that technology. I'm telling you, we don't have that technology. We have the oldest, worst equipment. Our phone, not just our board. Our phone is probably from when this song came out. Yeah, I haven't used one of those in a long time. Like, if it rang, I don't know that I would know what. do. It's a handheld.

Yeah. With a cord. With the cord. The whole thing's weird. Yeah. The Bobby Bones show. Bobby Bones. Okay, so I want to go to line one, and Ben is on line one. Hey, Ben, it's Bobby Bones. Do you mind if I put you on the radio for one second? It's nothing bad. Yeah, man, go for it. Okay, so Ben, your wife, Kristen, has called into our show. And I don't know if you're a listener at all, but she's a listener of the morning show.

And do you listen to it all, Ben? Yeah. Okay. Thank you very much. I appreciate it. that. Okay. So what I'm going to try to do is see if there's a way to three-way them. That's great. Kristen? Yes. Ben? Yes. Yeah. Boom. Three-way.

Kristen, can you hear Ben talking? I can, yeah. Okay. Now, we're talking about high-maintenance men. So, Ben, she called into the show and was talking. She was like, I sure want him to hear this. So we got you on the phone. And so now, Kristen, the stage is yours. How is he high-mainten? maintenance. He is high maintenance regarding his laundry. Hi, love. The biggest tantrum over the way his clothing is folded. And I just naturally fold clothes a certain direction. I don't know why it seems to be difficult. It's like right and with your left hand if you're right handed, but it's hard for me to

fold it in a different direction. He wants his shirts folded so that the pocket or where there would be the label, symbol or logo, is up and showing, you know, if he has multiple shirts in the same color, he can tell which shirt it is based on the pocket. Dang, Beyonce, Ben, what's the problem? Right. No, no, no, no. Listen, logical. Logical here, Bobby think.

In the morning, you're getting dressed. All your clothes are stacked up in your drawer. You look at your shirts. You want to know what you're putting on before you put it on, right? Before you go unfolding everything. I get it. No, no, no. Hey, Ben, do your own laundry.

If you don't like out, you do. I re-fold everything. Okay. Who's doing most of the laundry here, Kristen? You are Ben? I do most of the laundry. He works a lot. And so I don't put laundry away.

That's on him. He's very particular by the way he wants to put away. I will pull. And what's up with this laundry fit? Like this whole thing. It's a laundry thing. It's just the way I was raised. Put it away right.

You don't have. I don't have wrinkles in your shirt. You don't have wrinkles in your pants. You know what you're putting on and you look good. So did your mom or grandma or your dad, whoever raised you, did they fold your laundry like that and that's why you like it now? They folded it like that and before it tall is probably eight, I don't know, 10, 11, and then I got told how to do it and I did it that way for my whole lot. All right. Well, to be fair, like one of my first memories when we started dating or getting more serious and, yeah, I was sleeping over at his house or.

whatnot in his clothes were there and I would fold them was him telling me how to fold his socks his socks wait a son Ben how do you like your socks your socks folder buddy my socks folded? Yeah they just roll together I don't know I don't even care

now about my socks I probably care at one point but now it doesn't matter yeah he didn't care at one point he's chill he's chill about socks Kristen how did he used to like his socks Kristen how did he used to like his socks Okay, you have to take the socks and you have to find them up from top to toe. Oh, my lord.

And then you have to take the top of one sock and roll it completely over the other so that they all line up exactly the same size when they're folded. Oh, wow. Ben, you're OCD, right? A little bit. I recognize that because I'm the same way

with a lot of things, not clothes, but the lining up and the numbers and the colors, I do that, and I think Ben has a problem. And it's the only one that has a problem. blasted is this laundry folding. And I'm a good housekeeper, and I do, I mean, I'm not saying I hand him his clothes and mask, but, oh, boy. Ask you how the socks get folded now.

Uh-oh. I know, I'm not getting into a fire. Jerry, Jerry, Jerry. Ben, does she have anything that she's high-maintenance about? You need to get off your chest? Oh, my gosh. Ask her about her bathroom sink. Oh!

Okay. Listen, what's up with that bathroom sink? I'm not entirely sure what he means. by that, that it might be that every single thing that I need to use on a daily basis is actually not put away anymore. It's blinding the thing because I want easy access to it. Bobby, it looks like a Macy's counter when you go off. Man, I love these guys.

You know the OCD and then wants to put that stuff away. Oh, man. All right. Hey, Ben, have a great morning. Thank you for letting us talk to you. Kristen, have a great morning. Thank you for calling to the show. Man, you guys are awesome.

Bye guys. Can we call them back tomorrow? That's funny, man. We didn't even get to the segment because we didn't need to. Bobid Bones Show. Bonehead. Story of the day. This story comes to us from South Dakota.

This is a double bonehead for Mr. Donald Watson. He's in his apartment, playing with a gun, and boom, shoots himself right in the groin. He's recovered, had surgery. Now he's sentenced to five years in prison because he's a confirmed. ficted felon that wasn't supposed to have a gun. Dang, so I got a groin shot and if you wanted to do. That's a rough day. Double bonehead!

Double bonehead! I'm Lunchbox. That's your bonehead story of the day. The Bobby Bons show. Never going to get it. About 50% of people have one of these in their home. Still, still. Let me go to Hardy in Georgia. Hardy.

Hey, man, what's going on? You tell me, buddy. What are you thinking of half people have one of these in their home? I say a pet. Oh, a pet. I'm going incorrect on that one. Amy, I'm coming to you. They have a landline phone.

Oh. That's a quality, yes. No, lunchbox. I have an answering machine. Dang, you have to go on old school. You said the word still. Yeah, you said still have it. Katie, you're on the air in Nashville.

How are you? Great, how are you? I'm good. What are you thinking about this? I'm thinking it's probably a microwave. Nah, not a microwave. I need way more than half a bag of that. Yeah, probably like 99.

I was heating up plastic popsicles yesterday in microwave. What? Why would you heat up a microwave? I mean, a popsicle. Because it's too cold. That doesn't even make sense that you do that. It does too because then I had it. It was perfect. And it was in a plastic container?

Yeah. There's so many things wrong with this right now. It tasted so good. Like, I like that plasticy taste. I love carcinogenic. I like a freezer burn plastic popsicle. That's gross. What do you think, Eddie?

50% of people. I'm going to go coffee maker. Oh. Hit me. Hit me with a bell. A coffee maker. Way more than 50%. Angela and Virginia Beach.

We don't have her. Angela? Yeah, she had Kyrig, but she's not there. I'm going to give Angel one more shot. Angela, are you there? Okay, I know. If it's right, you both get the prize. If it's currig, then they are doing some business.

We get a mystery prize? Oh, it's better than that. All right. Oh, you tricked us. Come on. Let me tell you get a lot of calls from Virginia Beach, and sorry she couldn't come on. Nobody got it. I'll take one more call.

Hello. Brittany and Austin. Hey, how are y'all? Good. What's you got here? What about like a wax warmer, a candle warmer? Not half of people. A what? Let me give you guys one more shot?

Yes, please. Bobby Bowles. I'm going to wrap up this. I'm never going to get it here. About half people said they have one of these in their house. You're on the air, Kelly in Richmond, Virginia. Hello. Hello.

What's you thinking about this? Oh, I think it is a gun or a weapon of some sort. That's not right. But I wonder in this room, I have guns. Amy? Yes. Yes. You do?

Lunchbox? Just two on my body. Oh, your arms. Yeah. So that's 75% here. Yeah. That's more than 50%. I think we though are probably more than normal, like city, big city folk.

Yeah, but I also have an African spear. Okay. Okay. Eddie's son is a ninja turtles. Yes, swords. Well, I'm just saying that's my weapon of choice if you intrude on me. Okay. I'm going to beat you up my fist in.

If you pull an African spear, I'm just going to move my head, dodge it, and then beat you up. Yeah. Well, I'll take the spear and then my husband's going to go, Oh, well, you didn't mention he was there. He doesn't need a gun. Oh, yes, he does. He doesn't need to speak. I'd be like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Oh, stop. All right, half people, Amy, you got to guess? Yeah, I do. What is it? A boombox. No, the answer is the VHS tape. Half people still have a VCR tape, yeah. Wow.

My parents still have that. I do. I don't have a VCR, but I have the tapes. You do? Yeah. That's all they're saying. My pretty woman. Dirty dancing.

You have still magnolias. No. Oh, poser. Ammy ran into a celebrity at the grocery store. The Earth is round. I can't help that I... My dog poops. All things that happen and exit.

That grocery store you go to. Like, I don't know how that's not a tourist attraction. Yeah. Because all the stars are there. Yeah. Turn a truck? Yeah. Yeah.

In both locations. I mean, you can run into any given old celebrity. In the past, you've run into who there? Rachel Beelson, most recently. Brett Eldridge. Wow. Brothers Osborne both. Well, and then this one that I ran into yesterday I've run into before as well.

Oh. Have you seen Dirks there too, haven't you? No, he was at Whole Foods. Oh, different. Oh, okay. Dang. Julie. Yes.

Take a shot at this. What celebrity did Amy see at the grocery store? I think she saw her man, Dirks. No. But I have seen him before. And I saw Stephen Tyler at Whole Foods. Now that we bring up, if you bring up a different grocery store, I give you a different celebrity.

But that's just how Nashville is? How come you don't react when people say her man, Dirk's Bentley? It's a thing that. It's normal. It's just, you know. Well, I am sitting here. Yeah. In the chair with his face on us.

Yes. No, is it Dirk's? No, not Dirk's. You're on the air, Tom and D.C. What's happening, Tom? Hey, good morning, Bobby. Can you guess the person? Good morning to you to the Amy Salt the grocery store.

One final game here. Go ahead. I think it was Carrie Underwood. Carrie Underwood. I think the celebrities seek out Amy. because she's so sweet. Oh, dang. Interesting.

That's really neat. Yes. Interesting. Amy? I ran into Kit Moore. Kip Moore. Yes. You've seen him here before.

I have same grocery store, same experience, sleeveless, cut off shirt, healthy food and basket. I talked to him last time of the phone. He didn't. He didn't. He saw you. He didn't. He was so nice.

Yeah. It was lots of healthy lean meats and greens. Why'd you look in his basket? Stocker? What's wrong with you? What's in their basket so we can see it? No. No.

Don't he's looking at people's food? Yeah. We talked about the weather. You talked to him? Yes. We hugged, he talked. He was super nice. But you know when you start talking about the weather, it's time to just be like,

hope you have a good day. Yeah, you got to go. You're done. That weather talk, it's not for me. You don't like it, do you? Listen, I don't like small talk, period. And sometimes people would go, that's kind of rude. Because I don't go into a room and just talk.

I had nothing to say. And so I have nothing to say. I don't have nothing to say. nothing things. Like if there's a blizzard or if there's a huge rainstorm and I'm like, hey, heads up, I'll talk about it. Otherwise, I'll have to say nothing.

That's going to change in your life because you own a Jeep now. You're going to want to know if it's raining outside or not. I have an app. I have an app on my phone. Jeep app? No, it's the radar. We need to talk, though, as people. Adopt your radar.

Here's the thing that happens to me all the time. They see me coming. They hate in. They're trying to catch me riding in GP. Trying to catch me riding in GP. They're trying to catch me ride in GP. Trying to catch me right in GP The Bobby Bones show

Bobby Bones Walmart had to refund somebody who bought an iPad But when they got home And they opened the box The box is full of flour Wow You know how people

Still stuff and then replace the boxes That's great Yeah Walmart refunded the money She said she bought an iPad And then when she got in there It's full of flour Can you imagine you get home Being so excited

Because I know it's like You know you open that box And like Oh my innocence's time And then you probably go they're not going to believe me. Yeah, there's no way. Like, there's no way they're going to believe me.

And so she says, it looks like someone cut in the packaging. And one more, I get with the $400. And they say, if this happens to you, as a general, let them know immediately. Okay. Because. Don't doubt. Don't think they're going to doubt. You just go for it.

Just go for it. Yeah. That one person, remember not so long ago, they bought that big old vacuum from Target and they opened it up and it was like trash and. Oh, yeah. It was all just garbage. Yeah, garbage. Like, just fill it.

with stuff. Someone's going into the store and stealing it and then replacing it. Are they taking it home and bringing it back? I think they're taking it home, filling it up or taking it to their cart, filling it up, and then taping it back and returning it. I would say you steal it at the store. I would too because I would think when you bring it back in the box. They look inside of it.

Yeah, when I worked at the store, you would always look in the box when someone returns something. How do you walk out with a vacuum? How do you steal anything? People are good. Okay. There was a baby that weighs 62 pounds, right? It's 10 months old.

Oh, wow. It's a 62-pound baby. That's a big baby. It's right. And they can't stop the baby from getting fatter. Whoa. Oh, no. And so, doctors are like, they don't know why he continues to put on weight.

Has he been exposed to mold toxins? Now, stop with this mold toxins. I'm serious. It's a thing. I watch a documentary. At birth, he weighed 7.7 pounds. At two months of age, he weighed 22 pounds. That's a big jump.

Is it? Because I don't know much about it. Yes. It's a huge jump. Like, my son's seven. He doesn't even weigh that. 20 weight you like 22 pounds? Sure he does.

Oh, I hope he doesn't. Oh, yeah, he does. Yeah, for sure. Then over the next eight months, he gained a staggering 39 pounds. So at 10 months old, he weighs 62 pounds. I wonder what that is. That is crazy. They're trading them for, like, some sort of childhood diabetes.

Wow. Now? But I don't know. Like when a baby's, how big were your babies, Eddie? Born at one was seven, five or something, and the other one was almost eight. So they were around, they're high sevens. And normal is that? Yeah, pretty normal.

Do you see the guy, he went. into a liquor store and he was like, give me all your money. And they took and the person working the counter took a bottle of Baileys and busted it over their head. Oh, man. Yeah. I was at the register here and I was counting it down and a guy walked in. He had on hat and sunglasses and he said, give me the money. I didn't think much of it and we kept, I kept counting the money down and he came closer and he came at the register and he was like, no, give it to me. He was pulling on the register that way and she was pulling on it this way and I just grabbed a bottle of Bailey's Pumpkin Spice and I looked at Sarah and she just said, hit him.

So I hit him over the head with it and he just stopped and he backed up and he turned around and walked out the door. Oh, I wouldn't be afraid to hit him again, though. Is it rude to make up in Pollock? Just give me your thoughts. No, it's not rude. What if you, I mean, I don't think it's rude. If you're not bothering anybody else, I feel personally a little uncomfortable when I have

to do it, but I've definitely had to if I need to kind of do some stuff. And I do feel awkward, but I don't think it's rude. Why don't I go to the bathroom? Maybe you can't get to one. Okay. And you have a little compact mirror. What, I mean... The reason I'm bringing it up, I saw it as a new story this morning. Okay. People were debating. They were yelling at each other, too. It's like, this is not a yell topic. Yeah, there's other things to get passionate about. There are a yell topic. Then there are something you just talk about. So I think if you have to pull out your mirror, you go to the bathroom. Okay. If you can do it, no problem, it's big deal.

Yeah. You don't do it at dinner. Okay. I think there are places that you do and don't do it. Yeah. Like, would you shave, would you pull out a razor and shave your legs at dinner? No, but that's different than putting on makeup. Is it though?

Yes, it is. You're like removing hair from your body. I wouldn't be sitting at the dinner table and pull out a brush or comb and fix my hair. Well, now we're eating dinner. Yeah, yeah. You said we were in public. Dinner. And no driving and doing it because that's dangerous.

Oh, I know, but what about it, a red light? Okay, see, here we go. Tisha? Yeah. Thank you for calling. What do you think? I think that it's just rude driving down the road. That irritates me more than anything.

Because it's unsafe? It's unsafe and they're not paying attention at all. They're too people looking in the rear rear view mirror or their mirrors and not paying attention doing makeup. Yeah. That's not considerate. I appreciate you. Thank you very much. Thank you.

I appreciate you. Let's go to Kayla in North Carolina. Kayla. Yes. Hi, Bobby. Give me something. I agree with the last lady driving down the road drives me nuts. I get running late.

I'm a new mom. But when you get to work, just go in the bathroom and throw mask hair on. You don't need to do your full face makeup in the car. I hear some passion in that voice. I am. Well, it's dangerous. And being a new mom, like, I'm super concerned about my son because nobody pays attention to driving anymore.

If it's not texting, it's reading, it's makeup. It's just there's too many distractions. I agree. Appreciate you. I appreciate you. And I think pretty much we're all on the same page. We're normal. They were screaming to hear on the news. Yeah.

Like it was some sort of crisis in the Middle East. Yeah. I'm makeup. Hello, Bill. I'm dating. Yes. Dayton, Ohio representing. What's happening, Bill?

How you doing, Bob? I appreciate you having me on the phone. I appreciate you called New, Bill. Hey, I'm going to come to Dayton sometime this year. If I come, will you come? Oh, I was so rock to your show with you guys, man. All right. I would show up instantly.

I love that. All right, tell me what you think about this. You're a dude. I honestly think if you're driving down the road or even sitting at a red light, you should not do it. When you could get rated, two, you might have to slam on the brakes, and you will lose your eyeball. Oh. Shoving it right into your eyeball. Not going to dangerous.

Yeah, Bill, PJ. Oh! Good Lord. This definitely went from just doing it in public to doing it while driving. No, it went to what are the rules, and we found a rule. One, don't do it while driving. Okay. Two, don't do it at the dinner.

Got it. Other than that, I'm cool. Fair game. Do it wherever you want. If you have to pull out a mirror, you should probably go to the bathroom. Question. Just for guys too. If you got to do something and you need a mirror, go to the bathroom.

Okay. What about, can I put on lip gloss at the dinner table when I'm done eating no mirror? I really... Let it slide. Depends how much the meal cost. Fancy meal? No. Okay.

Tapas? Yes. Okay. Got it. Bobby Bones, everybody Transmitting across America This is a Bobby Boll Over to Amy now with the Morning Corny

The Morning Corny Why was the baby aunt so confused Why was the baby aunt so confused? Because all we're ants Get it? Oh no, we get it, yeah? That was the morning corny. Yeah.

The Bobby Ball Show. My neighbor plays loud music at night. But his night is my night are different. I get that. I go to bed at 8. He plays music. And I live in a house. Like with the bass.

And I can hear it through my house walls. Until like nine sometimes. And I understand that probably nine's like to cut off. So I don't get upset. Now, I go out in the morning and take my dog out, use the bathroom. Get up at three. Sometimes he take my dog out like three.

15, 320. And I'm like, hey, here! You know, I whistle. And then I'm wondering like, oh, I wonder if he hears me. Should I even be concerned about that? Nah. That's my lifestyle. Y'all are even.

Yeah, you're good. I feel like we're even too. I'm like, down there. So that's what happens in the morning. That's kind of like my neighbor nuisance. You know, there was the whole yard mowing thing. But mine's human. Like, Amy has a woodpecker that she cannot control outside of her house.

Yeah, woodpecker. Constantly pecking. pick, pick, pick, pick, pick, pick, pick, pick, pick, pick. And I don't know what to do about the woodpecker. So I started Googling how to get rid of a woodpecker. And it says that you can give them a good scare. Like if you go outside and start just like yelling, they make a bunch of noise. Please record it if you do this.

If you go yell at the woodpecker, please record it. But what kind of noise is a nuisance to a woodpecker? Get out of here. Shoot! Go find your home. Get out. Hit the road, Jay. Go, come back.

I don't know. It's crazy. Or you're supposed to call a professional. You don't get out a BB gun or anything. They said, don't endanger the woodpecker. But call a professional pest control and see if they specialize in removing woodpeckers. Is it that annoying? Is it that annoying?

It's pretty annoying. I have audio of the woodpecker outside Amy's house. Here you go. That's what it sounds like. Basically. It's outside my kitchen. It's annoying. It's annoying.

Does it go? Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. You know Woody-Wi Woodpecker? That would be kind of cute. Woody Woodpecker was awesome. I don't know who Woody Woodpecker is now. We didn't bring him back. He is chilling in my house right now if y'all want to come see him.

Woody Woodpecker? Yeah. The Bobby Bones show. Bopin'Bones. Monday morning confessions. If you have something you want to add to the show, you want to confess and clear it. Let's get it out there. Let's go to Veronica in Austin.

Veronica, Monday morning confession. Yours is a wife confession. What do you have? All right. My husband and I are accepting my first baby any day now. And we were given some clothes. And this box of clothing was this one little outfit. Cheater print with pink, two-toewy bows and all kinds of stuff.

Way to over the top for me. One of the most tackiest things I've ever seen. And my husband loved it. He was just stood and awed, and it may and may not have fallen in the box of stuff I donated. And he keeps looking for it, and I just keep saying I don't know where it could be. Oh, no. His favorite baby outfit you gave away, and now you're saying you don't know where it is. I did call the place and see if they still had it, and they said, no, they already donated it to the churches.

You can't take it back from a church. I know. I did try to do, but I even went on Amazon and online looking for it to try to buy it to say, oh, look, honey, I found it. Nobody else wants it, so if you don't sell it before. All right. Well, thank you for the call. I appreciate that. Bobby Bones.

Stephanie and Tennessee, thank you for call. Monday morning confessions. Yes. When I went through my divorce with my ex-husband, I took his toothbrush and cleaned my feet and the toilet was done. No. You got to be kidding me. You have to send, what?

Oh, she loves it too. She loves it. Have you ever told anybody to the story? One person with my sister, she kind of helped me and put me out, you know, because he was a bad journalist. he hated germs. Yeah, but he didn't know, right? You never told him he did this.

No. There could be, like, diseases and stuff. Hey, it's your ex. You don't care, do you? No, he was abusive, too, so it may be better. All right, Stephanie. Yeah, but I wrenched it out and put it back in there. Like, nothing never happened, you know?

My very little age. Oh, gross. That's so gross. You know, I love it. And on that one, I think we'll piece out. Thank you for showing her. And then I've been taking my stomach. Our listeners are so funny.

They just sent me this. Here, this is from the Today Show. If a party is slated to start at 6.30 p.m. What time do you arrive? Is it A, the designated start time. B, 10 to 15 minutes late or C, 30 minutes late. Okay, okay. So here we go.

First of all, they didn't even give the real option early, which is my favorite option. But if the party starts at 6.30, do you get there at 6.30, 15 minutes late or 30 minutes late? Okay. What would be your answer? I haven't heard the whole clip. If you've been invited to a party, you get there 15 minutes late. Okay. That's easy.

15 minutes late. You don't want to be the first one there, but you don't want to be the last one to arrive either. Boom. Okay. I think the question's already wrong because I already got there at 6 o'clock. Yes. If it starts at 630, Bobby will be there at 6. You need any help anything?

I would have gotten there at 7. 30 minutes late for sure 45 Oh It starts at 630 No I'd get there at 7 30 minutes late Okay

Okay 10 to 15 minutes late That is correct That's stupid That's stupid Yes yes If he has a dinner party And it's at 630

You don't even a little bit early The house is rushing around Doing last minute thing So you never want to arrive right on time I agree Okay then set the time back 30 minutes No 15 minutes

No it's just always But the time that you say It's a time that people should get there And they're really good people in your life, we get there early. What time did you get to Amy's party? Well, listen, the party was how roughly was it started like eight or something? Eight. Yeah.

Probably got there at 7.30. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not bad. And he sat there and just drank energy drinks. It's like he was, or eight, got there to lend a hand. If you would have asked me to lend a hand, you'd have had two helping ones. Oh. But you didn't.

No, I just was just rushing around. And then we never even ate until 9.45 because I was still. Man, Eddie, how time did you get there? I wasn't invited. Oh. It's fun. I finally got invited to my first Amy party. You still finally invited.

It lived up to the high. Really? Yeah. When the pony came out, I was like, this is the great thing. Yeah. Bobby bones. All right. Never trust a man who.

Carrie, you're on. Hi, Carrie. Hi, good morning. Good morning. Never trust a man who, blank. Has two first names. All right. There must be some negative experience with this.

No, no. A friend told me that, like, say like Ken Scott. Oh, that name specifically? All right. No, no, no. Hypothetically, let's just say, all right, go ahead. That's just an example. Okay, so never trust a man with two first names.

Okay, okay, okay, okay. Let's go to Kirsten in Springfield. Hey, Kirsten. Hey. What do you think? Never trust a man who, blank. Never trust a man who won't tell his friends or family about you if you're dating. Yeah, because he's probably dating somebody else, too.

Exactly. Yeah. You know, we had this issue with Morgan number two who does our digital work, our Wichita web girl and her boyfriend won't put pictures of her on his social media we think gets a little fishy but what do we know?

We're not professional fishermen, aren't we? Like never trust a man who doesn't post you on social? I refuse to comment. Brittany in Connecticut, never trust a man who blank? Who does not take care of his children? Solid? Wow.

Yeah. That would be a simple way. I can respect that. Yeah, yeah. Candice in Nashville, never trust a man who accuses you all the time. That's right. And you know why? Because he's up to something.

That's right. Wow. When someone's accusing you're constantly cheating or constantly lying, that means they're doing it. Right, Candace? Exactly, boys or girls. Yeah, can I get amen, Candace? Amen. That's all I'm talking about.

That's absolutely true. If someone's all accusational and you're like, why are you like this all the time? It's because they're doing it. Thank you very much. Let's do one more on the latest side of things. Noelle in Springfield Never trust a man who Doesn't take care of his mother

So that's one for you? Yes, definitely one for me You gotta love your mama and take care of your mama Because that's how Love and take care of you That's right And daughters And daughters, there you go

Good one, thank you very much All right fellas Never trust a woman who lunchbox Ask how much money you make on the first date Boom She's going after that wallet That's all she cares about. That's obvious.

Duh. Never trust a woman who breaks into your house and steals all your stuff. On the first day. Okay, fair. I've never had to happen to me. No. No friend has ever... Well, has anyone?

No. Any guy here ever had a girl ask how much they're making the first day? No. No, you haven't. Okay. You're lying. Eddie? Never trust a woman who doesn't like good music.

But that's your taste and good music. Yeah, that's a kid. No, no. If she doesn't like the music I like, Oh, come on! I know one you could say for you, Bobby. Wait, why are you, how come the women's answer? All the women they called had great, except for the two first name ones.

They were like great and they made sense of her logic behind them. Oh. Guys, we're just idiots. Duh. No, she don't like my favorite music. She's probably dumb. Wait, so what's yours, Bobby? Never trust a woman who gossips about other people a lot because she's also gossicking about you to other people.

Because if someone's telling you everybody else's secrets, period, they're also telling your secrets to other people. So even in business, I was doing a deal a couple weeks ago, and a couple services will say, we're bidding on me. You know, like, hey, want you to come work here, work here. And so, and one of the guys was like, don't tell me what they're doing because that means you're telling them what I'm doing. And I was like, that's a real honest approach. Like, I appreciate that.

But it's the same way with people. If they're telling you someone else's secrets or telling your secrets to someone else. Right. So that was it. But what would you? I think you're going to say never trust a woman who doesn't like my dog. No, I just won't. No, I trust them.

I just want to date them. Oh. The Bobby Bones show. So what happens before the show is Amy and I sit in my office and we record all these station liners and we'll do commercials and pretty much just boom, boom, boom. And sometimes Amy gets a little cranky. Uh-oh. Oh, I. Yeah.

Okay. Or you get cranky. Well, I just have audio here. Oh, great. Uh-oh. I have a heard. You do not. I haven't heard this happen.

You do not. What? You have audio? Of you just getting. a little bit cranky. This is Amy doing a commercial? No, no, not a commercial. Like a station event. And she messes up. And I was like, no, it's this. And she's like, I got it, okay. I just remember experiencing it. I haven't heard it back. Here we go. 3, 2, 1.

Admission is free. Plus, there's going to be prizes over 30 minutes. Let's start over. What? Sounds like you're reading it. Plus prizes over 30 minutes, including your shot. Every 30 minutes. Doesn't say every. I know, but I can tell just by knowing what it should say. Hey, it's Amy from the Bobby Bone. Oh, wow. Doesn't, yeah, Beyonce over there.

It was a typo. It said, ever. Don't say. Wow, so you guys have a lot of fun in there. Sometimes she has a short fuse with me. Sometimes, me. Yeah. Man, I really wish I could collect some audio of you.

Oh, do you? Yeah. Next time I will. I'm my sneaky recorder. Well, there's that. I just want to play that. Man, the only audio I hear is you being grouchy. I know.

I was. Well, Bobby was already, Bobby told me to quit talking to him. Oh. No. What happened? Wow. Amy just, I got a work to do. I walk in.

Now try to have fun and just talk to him about fun stuff. I have stacks of papers. Stacks on stacks and stuff to read. And then he just goes, quit talking. No. And I don't have that body of though. Amy starts talking about some asinine thing. I don't even know.

She's like, wow. Have you seen a new knees on Jonathan Taylor, Tomomicon? This girlfriend. And I'm like, what are you talking about? Stop talking. And then I go back to recording commercials. Yeah. And then I'm like, fine.

I guess I quit talking. I mean, he just like made me quit talking about life. No, not life. Something dumb she read. This is who's... Oh, I don't have audio of yours. And you just said what I was saying was assonine. Yeah, yeah.

Sometimes you talk about stuff about. Who says that word? Who used asinine? You all need to go on a co-host retreat or something. We need to do the opposite. We need to go on a detreat. We need co-host counseling. Yeah.

Admission is free. plus there's going to be prizes over 30 minutes You start over What? Sounds like you're reading it She's already upset What? You know what though?

It did sound like I was reading it So I was glad you had me start over Plus prizes over 30 minutes Including your shot Every 30 minutes Doesn't say every I know I can tell just if I know what it should say Hey it's Amy from the box

She just starts I love it Yeah because we don't have time to waste If I were to like go off on it Bobby be like Amy No talking Don't talk about stupid stuff

You're asinine. It's asinine. Lunch walking. With Lunchbox. Lunchbox goes out and he takes a microphone. And he starts talking to people in the bathroom. And they don't know he's recording him. Oh my goodness.

Have you heard that? No. And he's like, hey, he just starts bringing stuff up. For example, there's a guy. Imagine you're sitting on a toilet, right? And somebody starts talking to you. And lunchbox starts talking to this random dude about how his girlfriend's pregnant. He just found out.

It's all two. What up? It's all one. What? I just found out my girlfriend's pregnant, and I don't know how to tell my wife. Like, I'm freaking out. Yeah.

So how do you think I approach that? Tough question. Tough question, he says. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think she's going to be mad at me. Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This guy just trying to do his business.

I know, man. I know, man. I know, man. Hey What do you say? He said I said she's gonna be mad at me He goes yeah

And he goes Well it depends on the type of person She is What kind of person Wouldn't be? Yeah All right man Have a good one

I'm sorry What's okay Watches it and pieces out So awkward The Bobby Bones show Lunchwalking With lunchbox Lunchbox

Lunchbox goes into the bathroom Just randling And he goes He goes up to people and he's like, hey, excuse me. And he talked to this one guy by gambling. This guy has no idea. He's like, hey, man, I lost $2,000 gambling here. This is lunch walking.

Stall 2. What up at stall 1? My parents gave me $2,000 to get my girlfriend an engagement ring and I was in Vegas this weekend. And I thought, oh, just be smart. Double up, put it on red. And I'll be able to get a bigger ring. And I lost the 2,000.

And I don't know what to tell my parent. What would you do? If you buy the stone loose, it's cheaper. If you buy the stone loose, it's cheaper. Dropping bathroom knowledge here. My husband did that. Yeah? Yeah.

Do you know what it means? Buy it loose. Just the diamond. Yep. Yeah. And then have it mounted. Oh, really? Yeah.

This guy's like a jeweler. First of all, you buy it and you mount it. And the setting is... Yeah. To find a jeweler. That's like, I'm going to... All right, man. I appreciate it.

Sorry about that. Have a great day. There you go. Wow. That's good advice from the bathroom stall. Yeah, good luck. It's like that Fox News segment where they go up to the guy. It's like, hey, how do you feel about the hurricane?

It's like, well, Meridian 7 says that it's not approaching. Do you guys ever see that clip? Yeah, it's amazing. And it's like the smartest man ever on the news. Lunch walking with lunchbox. Here's Amy's pile of stories. So the next time you're staying at a hotel, you guys, don't use the ice bucket. Don't worry.

I don't. I do all the time. Because I take, like, smoothies and stuff with me on the road and I get the ice bucket and I go fill it up and then I stick my smoothies down in there like if my hotel doesn't have a fridge and it keeps it cold overnight. I mean, I get I'm not drinking out of it but the things I'm reading about hotel ice buckets, no, no, no. There are three things you don't want to touch in a hotel. What? The remote. Well, the ice bucket. You don't want to touch the lights either because this is where everybody's

hands are and that's where they don't clean. The reason you don't touch the ice bucket and the only thing you can do with the ice bucket, it's put a bag inside of it and then get ice. Just never put ice in the actual ice bucket. It's disgusting. They don't clean it. I've heard stories of like the coffee coffee makers don't. I stop doing that. Everything. Everything's gross.

Everything you look at right. Look at me. I'm gross. Oh, you're gross. And I'm the clean one in here. You are gross. Yeah. So the ice bucket is probably the germy. Is that in the remote? Oh, I mean, I don't even want to tell you what some people use it for, but they've been tested and there's germs galore. So, yeah, stay away from that. Some people I guess just see

and sometimes think it's a trash can. Yeah. No, I can absolutely see that. Disgusting. It's a mini trash can. Oh, yeah. I think I'll put a little bit of trash. Right here on top of the counter.

How nice of them to put a trash can in the lid. So if you want to be seen as a winner, you got to dress well and smile. Always dress for the position you want, not the position you have. Well, the sharper you look, the more trustworthy you seem. And research discovered that smiling, people that smile are thought to also be more trustworthy and just all around better people, better at their job, better performer. And I agree. Do you what you said about dressing.

Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. Because you already have it. It's like working for the job. You already working for a promotion. Why would you not do other things that lead you to that promotion? For example, me, I'm in sweats. I want to be a sweater. All right.

What else? Okay, I'm just going to talk for a second about just how far we've come with home appliances and technology. Did you know now that refrigerators have internal cameras that show you when you're out of groceries and it'll like scan it and be like, send you like a list through. That's pretty cool. Did you know? Or just open the fridge and be like. Yes, exactly.

And look at it. No, no, no, no, no. Before you get on the, well, you do good old days, I like it when things are automatic. Yeah, I'm Randalli Laird. Okay, just know that like on Alexa, for example. I'm getting to that. If I just say I need and like it's like, I need paper towels.

Boom. It goes, paper towels added a list. It's the same thing. She's good at keeping the list. Your refrigerator's looking like, oh, you don't have this. Here's the list. It's the same thing. Well, but here's what I was going to say is that these refrigerator camera things can

hook up with your Alexa or your Google Home or whatever, and it'll add it to the list without you ever even having to do it. Your ovens can be preheated remotely. Like, say you want to bake something you're at the grocery store. We'll preheat your oven and by the time you get home, you can pop that sucker right in. Sounds real safe. That's not crazy. me, on my phone, my security system, I can watch my house, I can unlock my door.

Yeah, I can do that. I can do everything pre. If someone comes, I... That's come in handy when I have, like, a worker show up at the house, and I just unlock it and lock it when they're gone. Yeah, stop acting like... What in the world? You guys have this thing where you pick...

Some technology is good. We're getting so lazy. Yeah, I mean, I just feel like the camera in the fridge is a little much. No, you know what I want? I want a camera in the fridge, and I want an arm to... Shake people's hands? Shake his hand for me, will you? No, I want it to, like, hand me stuff.

Like, it knows what I want, and I'll get like that. They had that. They had that. Remember, there's a robot connected to the fridge, and all you had to say was, bring me a drink, and then the robot comes out of the fridge. It was a cooler on the bottom, and it rolls to you. Oh, well, something like that. Boom, money.

Yeah. Alexa, give Amy a hug for me. Like, let's slow down. Yes, Alexa, please respond to my text messages from Amy. She won't stop texting me. Send her an emoji or something. Yes, yes, yes, yeah, yeah. That was Amy's pile of stores.

Get your bones on the Bobby Bones Show. Okay, we are going home, but thank you for listening. You can catch up on everything. Just search Bobby Bones show on demand on IHart Radio. Search Bobby Bone Show on iTunes. You can listen to the whole thing. Listen to Bobbycast, a show I do from my house. Just search that too. All that. Thanks for being here. We would not be able to pay our mortgages or eat our meals without you listening. Right, Amy? That's right. We appreciate you. Thank you. We'll see you soon.