The Bobby Bones Show - Monday Post Show (05-09-22)

Episode Date: May 9, 2022

Amy recaps what she did for Mother’s Day with her kids. Eddie shared what he did for his wife on Mother’s Day. Bobby reveals what could be causing the guy's hair loss on the show. Eddie said he would do terribly in jail after going to the social security office. Amy’s daughter wants to go to an interesting camp this summer. Bobby is doing a big clean up in his digital and possessions.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Open doors to the future for you and your family with the help of American Military University. That's AMU. APUS. dot E-D-U-S-Military. It's time for the Bobby Bones Post Show. Here's your host, Bobby Bones. Happy day after Mother's Day. I guess I'll check in, Amy. What happened on Mother's Day? I was with my sister mostly because we were in Austin for I-Heart Country.

So, and then also my kids, I've started to approach it differently since they're adopted. Like, I don't really make a big deal of it because they talk about their birth moms often. And, I mean, of course, we don't ignore it. But, I mean, they have their first moms. And I know it's like a sensitive. I know. I'm a sensitive. It's a sensitive thing. But like, I didn't mind being. I was already in town and I don't live near my sister and I was going to be flying back. And like with my kids, it's just not that big of a deal. And then also, I don't know they've learned about Mother's Day the last few years.

It's not like they grew up doing it. And so it's like from my daughter, it was, hey, mom, since it's Mother's Day, will you learn this TikTok dance with me and we can do it? I'm like, okay. And then my son's like, hey, Mom, since it's Mother's Day, will you throw the football with me? Oh, you're supposed to do things from Mother. Right. Like they're just...

Mother's due day. That's funny. Yes. So I was like, oh, I think we have this concept all wrong. It needs to be like, hey, mom, since it's Mother's Day, can you just go away and get a massage or something? Well, you could, yeah, you create a new tradition. Mother's Day is when you guys make breakfast for me and then leave me alone for three hours, starting now. And clock starts.

Eddie, what did you guys do? Well, it was tricky for us because it was Mother's Day and my wife's. We were celebrating my wife's birthday on the same day. And so it was just a big day for her. Hey, win-win for you. What's crazy is my kids are the opposite. They were like, my wife was like, I want to spend all day with the kids. So I was like, okay, you're sure you don't want to go away and get your nails done?

And then she's like, no. So we went to a movie as soon as we got back from Austin. And then after that, we went to, I got, I went to the store and I got all this charcutory stuff and a bottle of wine. And we all went to a field. And the kids played football and kickball while my wife and I sat there and ate cheese and drank wine. And then after a while, we joined the game. And it was just a day of like just family fun. It was really cool.

Drunk. After a while, I was like, let's get some cake. So it's our birthday and Mother's Day. Yeah, it was a big day for her. That sucks for her. She did end it by saying like, thank you. I had a wonderful day. And I was like, that's pretty cool.

But she's missing. She gets a whole day taken from her. That's why I said, it's like, win-win for him. Because he's just like, boom, knock it out. It doesn't happen like that every year. Oh, it doesn't. No, no. This is like once in a long time.

Okay. All right. Well, that's good. Yeah. Lunchbox? What did we do? We went to a soccer game and then we finished the night off

with having peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for dinner because everybody was tired at the soccer game. So you didn't really do anything for Mother's Day? No, that was it. You didn't celebrate her? You were going to do that anyway, even if it wasn't Mother's Day. Right, yeah, that was the plan.

Like, we had tickets to the soccer game, so we went. And then when we got home, we were tired and said of cooking a nice meal, we had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with some red grapes. I mean, that part I can live with. I don't like peanut butter, but I mean, just going,

yeah, you know what? What we'll do is we'll be tired and we have these freezer pancakes. Oh yeah, yeah, we got those too. And it's like, you know what? Let's just have pancakes. Those like koala bear ones or whatever? I don't know.

They're in a white box. And so it takes a minute on each side in the microwave. That's awesome. Flip, I mean, we had that yesterday. We got in yesterday from Austin. We were both so tired. And she was like, I can make lunch.

We can order lunch. And she was like, why don't we just do pancakes? I was like, I co-signed. You're ready to be a dad. Pulled out the frozen blueberries from the freezer and ate the pancakes. one minute on each side, boom. I do have a story I wanted to share with you guys before it gets late and we have to go

because this is important to a lot of people on the show. So a top hair surgeon is warning men about hair loss. Uh-oh. What's the warning? Well, I'm glad that you asked. A top hair surgeon warns that too much masturbation causes hair loss. Now, when I look around the room, Eddie.

That is hilarious. Ramundo. All of you guys. Who is this guy? A top hair transplant surgery is more than too much masturbation causes hair loss, especially if you're going at a non-stop. He is Dr. Muramad said that in the past, men have approached him asking if that would result in your hair falling out. And he said that although vitamin A, which is found in semen, is important when it comes to hair loss.

And so therefore, it's gone, you know. So it's either someone that does that or gets a lot of it. This is from L.A.D. Bible. No, no, no, no. How do you know the difference? Come on, smart, doctor. Are we talking about you? No, I'm just saying, what's the difference? Well, I'm not, I'm just talking with the doctor's stuff.

Oh, now you're just reading a story. So all three of you guys, all I know is I look around the room. I mean, Scoob hadn't had here in years. I know. So, there you go. A couple in Northern California came back from a trip and found hundreds of swallows flying around their house. They had invaded Gary and Patty Rydomeyer's home.

This is from Local 21 News. It costs about $20,000. and damages because the birds were everywhere. The carpet was ruined. It was just like a total takeover. It reminds me of what Ray said was going to happen with the cicadas. Yep.

It never happened. It did. No, it didn't. You warned us forever that we were going to be taken over by cicadas. And like you would see like one small town that got hit hard on a Wednesday. In Kentucky. And then another small town in like Ohio,

but it never happened like we thought it was going to happen. Trust me. I didn't want it to happen here. I would have been terrible. My wife said it was a nuisance. Sometimes you couldn't even see out of your windshield. So luckily it didn't happen. A woman's sentenced for poking holes and her partner's condoms from dw.com.

See what do you? Don't do that. Like, what would they do that? What would they do that? What would they do that? I have a friend in high school that says that this happened to him. Okay. Okay, high school.

And he said, okay. And did he end up getting somebody pregnant? No. What high school? We're always like, oh, yes. This is my prime time to do this. Women are crazy, man. They want to trap you.

Okay. Yeah. The case concerned a 39-year-old woman who was friends, with benefits in the relationship with a 42-year-old man. They met online, had a casual relationship, but she had deeper feelings. So apparently, according to the story, started to poke holes in the condoms.

Is this a crime? Yes, it is. But I just wonder how a hole poke, because first of all, the odds of even if there is no condom and the semen going in, and the whole, the odds are not good. That's going to happen anyway, right?

So secondly, if it's only a tiny hole, what are the odds that it gets, some gets through the hole, and then still. Have you seen the size of a sperm? No, no, I know, but what I'm saying is, A little hole? You're missing my point.

If all of that sperm is not able to make a baby and you're saying that you're poking a needle hole that you can't see with the human eye when you put it on your winger, that... And it's still a thing because it obviously still can. But I'm saying what are the odds that have got to still be so bad that that happens. That you actually get pregnant from that amount of sperm

whenever all the sperm is hard to get pregnant. Sometimes doesn't, yeah, I see what you're saying. Well, that's sometimes, most of the time. Really? Yes. Yes. Most, do you know how this works? Well, I feel like most of the time

it works properly, and then you hear a lot of times that it doesn't work properly. Right? No, not most times that you ejaculate into... Oh my gosh. You don't have a baby. I'm just telling you, because this is a real thing. Most times that you don't have a baby.

Really? Yes. Eddie, if you had a baby most of the times, how many babies would you have? Well, according to that last doctor, none, because Eddie's losing his hair. That's true. Okay, okay, okay. What, Amy? But you got to think...

Just like a welcome to sex ed with these guys. I don't know. Me? You mean Eddie? Okay, Eddie. I'm still learning. Yeah, Eddie's like, no, no. Every time you do it, you have a baby.

Well, there's a time to do it. Yes, and even then... When the woman's ovulating. Yes, and even then the odds that it's going to have to have. because you did it one time. Not good. That's why you got to go at it over and over again.

So she probably poked a lot of... And you gotta think when you poke a hole in the condom, when you put it on, the hole probably gets bigger. If... You know what I'm saying? You were talking about how the hole is so small. So it gets bigger.

But it can't be so big that you can see it. Right, but once you put it on, you're not looking. Yeah, you are. You have to look to put it on. Oh my God. Oh, my God. You don't look, go, oh, is there any holes down there? I do.

You should check. Yeah, I would. Poe Show. And not only that. After dart. And not only that, you got to poke it on like the bottom, bottom, bottom part. Because what if you just poke it like in the side? I am shocked that you actually look at it like to see if there's holes in it.

No, you just put it on and go. Okay. There ain't no time. Okay. But my, no time. My point is it has to be done almost exactly right. Because imagine you poke a hole in it and it's not right over the end of it. The peepie hole.

Then it's got to go in and around and then come out the side. Right. It's like a, yeah. Twisty slide. What do you say? Twisty slide, you know, like one of those... No, no twisty is really. Yeah, not really.

Okay. Let's see. Good story, man. I'm not embarrassed about talking about this stuff. I don't even feel uncomfortable with. Eddie is. He doesn't understand. Eddie has no idea.

So how does it work? Did y'all know that over a lifetime, men will produce at least one billion sperm per month? Yeah. That's what I'm saying. So over a lifetime, it's 525 billion. What if your low tea like? Eddie. That's what I'm saying. I think one little whole bones you're talking about, you can get probably a good

mill in there. Okay, but one million as compared to what normally comes out? No, way more than a million probably. Yes, but you're missing, it's relative to how many come out normally. Right, because Eddie, I mean, I spent years trying to get pregnant and nothing was deemed wrong with either me or my husband per fertility doctors and there was hundreds of millions

of little spermy thingies happening and nothing stuck even during ovulation. No, but Eddie said every time. I didn't. I just said most of the time. More. Okay. Eddie says he would do terrible in jail. Oh, gosh, yes. So this is all because of this?

No, no. That's nothing to do with this. I went to the Social Security office, and I mean, you would have thought I was going into prison because, like, there was so much security to get in there, and they were so mean. Like, they're just like, what's in your pocket? And I'd taken everything out of my pockets, and they were referring to my back pocket. I said, my back pocket, that's what I said, sir, what's in your back pocket? And I said, well, what do you think is my back pocket?

You said that? Well, yeah. I mean, these are just security guys. They're not like, you know, cops. I still just want to get through efficiently. I don't. And it was my wallet. I'm like, dude, my wallet's in my backpack.

Well, there's no metal in it. I said, I said everything out of your pockets. And I, dude, I honestly, I just started getting scared. And I started, like, stumbling on words. And he's like, why are you mumbling? Are you hiding something? I'm like, no. No, no, you're just scaring me now.

I'm very scared to get into the Social Security office. So I felt like automatically, if I'm in jail, guards are going to be thinking, like, I'm like, hiding something because I'm stuttering because I'm just not good with authority like that, I guess. It sounds like you got scared. Somebody you just said it's only security. Like your story kind of went. No.

No big deal. Only security. Because I went in saying, four security guards, big deal. But after they started patting me down and then they got the metal detector out and they're just like, it's beeping by your shoe. And I'm like, I have regular shoes on. I don't know what. Start crying. I don't know what you're looking for.

Why are you going in the social security office? I was trying to get my social security cards for my two boys that we've adopted. and I went during... Did they see their dad melting? No, I... No. I went by myself. Oh. Thank goodness.

They're like, my... Daddy cried when the guy said, let me see your shoes. It didn't cry. Oh, and then some hot girl came in later and they were like, hey, how you doing, ma'am? Good day. Don't worry about the middle tech or go on through. I'm like, you sons of... Let's see.

What else do I have here? Amy, your daughter wants to go to a computer hacking camp. That's what she texted me. She'd make a lot of money. One day, well, she said programming slash hacking. Which I was like... So hacking's probably not in the brochure. Right.

But she thinks if she can learn all the programming stuff, she'll just learn how to hack. And when I said, what? Does that even exist? The hacking part, but she just looked at me and she said, Mom, this is the future. And she's, I mean... I wish I had learned how to do that stuff. Yeah. When I look back, it's not learning how to play music or read music and not learning

how to do early computer stuff. I really wish I would have done. Even like when you can program apps or just like coding or whatever they call? Yeah. Yeah. Amazing. Yeah, yeah. So are they going to camps?

Not that particular camp. So far, I ever signed up for, like, the opposite. We're going to dance camp. I think the opposite would be, like, building card houses or paper, like, writing only on paper. Yeah, it's like trying to think of writing. Well, I just mean, like, a different direction. Chiseling rock. Words into rock.

If I can find that camp, we'll do it. But we've got dance, baking. She really loves to bake, and then our regular church camp. It's crazy that camp is a thing. I went to church camp twice, and I couldn't afford to go to church camp, but people from the church paid for me to go, and I was like, crazy, we go to camp, and I got so homesick, and I, it took me about two days of hating it before I liked it.

But they have all these specialty camps. For everything. Eddie went to jail camp. Pretty much, yes, when I was a summer jail camp. It was like juvie. But you thought it was what? Just a fun summer camp. It ended up being for, like, juvie kids.

How do you think you're playing? parents got you into that. No, it was my friend Pepe who like invited me and my parents didn't ask any questions. They're like, oh, we know Peppa and his parents. They're cool. So just go ahead, go with them. And I got back and I was like, mom, what did you guys let me go to? It was crazy. They didn't even see what the camp was? No, I was like a church. I guess the church put it on, but it was for troubled kids, as they said. And then you met a friend there. Jules. And you still haven't found him. Oh, man. Jules from New Orleans. If you're listening out there, dude, I'm looking for you. You think he's still alive? Yeah. What? I hope.

jail camp, dude. It went one or two ways. I felt like me and Jules, you know, we connected because we weren't that trouble. I wasn't troubled at all. Like, I was never in trouble. The fact that I was there, I was just, I remember this one day, this kid took my hat. Because I've been wearing ball caps my whole life. And, like, he took my hat.

And he's just like, thank you. And I was like, where are you going? I was about to go get it. And they were like, whoa, whoa, no, dude. That dude's like, he's, that dude, series, a gang member. So I let him have my hat. What kind of hat was it, man? It was like a white socks.

Why were you wearing a hat? I always wear hats. Early stages. Just figured it out. No, my whole life I've been wearing hats. So, Dr. One Lion. So dumb. Oh my gosh. I have a new phone number. I don't ever use it. I know it's a couple you guys have asked what's my new number.

I don't ever use it. I'm still on the old phone number. But I am planning in the next two weeks to move to my new phone. The problem is I bought a phone that was a little too small. This is the big one. And the other one that I have, I don't see very well. So I don't, it's just too small. If I'm going to move, who has my new number? Mike.

Oh, I like that. Maybe an old text has it or something. You must not have it then. I got in the NBA, our NBA 2K chat room with it and acted like a Russian. You did? Yeah, you probably weren't paying attention. No, I muted that conversation. Well, how do you act a Russian?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I would you do that. I'm Russian. That's it, the end. That's good. I was like, what is this chat room? You know, because it's six of us friends that play NBA 2K, and they were like, who is this? And I was like, I am from Russia.

Natasha, anyone here single? And so they started to be like, who's in this? Because it's a group chat. You can't get in unless you. Did any of them start hitting on Natasha? No, but they were all really confused. And I felt like they were one step away from asking for a picture. And then I got kicked out of the group chat.

And then I was like, guys, it's me on a demo phone. That's funny. So I'm doing that. But I did a bunch of clean out of email, which is always a hard thing to do. because you're like, well, I ever need this again? When's the last time you've cleaned out your email? Completely. Oh, never.

Never. Never. I still have thousands. I've been contemplating just creating a new email and starting fresh. And leaving the other one like. Just if I need to go over to the other one. Yeah, like it's going to be there because I have old emails that I'd like to have or maybe I can transfer them over. But yeah. That's like a hard drive.

Amy's using a different email address. Like an extra hard drive. Yeah. Well, I mean, I have emails back from like 2000. 2012 for my mom that I don't want to, I want to keep them. But those you can save, just move them over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now I'm thinking, I'm talking it through right now.

So I would move them over. But I literally, my friend said she just did that. And it was like so awesome because now she just created the new email. She's fresh. She's staying on top of things. She's the leading. And I'm like, ooh, that sounds amazing. Because I have right now.

I've just went and been like, you know what? I don't even know anymore. Control A, $10,000. Really? Oh, I have $3,722. I haven't even opened. But it's what I... Oh, well, you're never going to need them.

So I'm doing a big cleanup right now with shoes and clothes and a lot of the TV clothes that I wore for American Idol that I wore once. And they paid for and I never used again. You're getting rid of those two? Well, yeah. Listen, I sent Mike D and Eddie both shoes I maybe have worn once. Shoes are legit. Like I sent dress boots, SpongeBob Kyrie, high tops. I gave Mike some easies.

I got Jordans too. Oh, the gold ones. You got the gold. Did you want those? Like, how hard was it to part with these? Here's the thing. I'm like, you know what? I haven't worn them in a year.

Won't need them. Don't even, I forgot about them. Give them away. That's a good rule. And so I've got a lot of clothes, but if you don't come over in the next three days, you're not going to get them. I'm going to donate them.

The next three days? Yes. You got it. But that's what we're doing. That's my thing. If I don't go, oh, yeah, I need this. I delete it. And if I have to wonder what's in there,

delete it. With the clothes, same to the emails. If they don't pick them up But wait those kind of clothes Where are you donating them? You can't donate those as a normal place To us Yes I can

I can To give them to whomever You should go to a resale shop It makes them money Goodwill No no Good Or Eddie and Mike come

Last time Like I'll see Eddie Just randomly show up In like something I wore on I don't He'll match it up with a show And be like This is me for me

Oh Mike D loves to send me pictures Oh it's Mike D doing it That's funny I'm wearing He doesn't like it I'm wearing the jacket And then he text me A picture of you

wearing it like on some TV show. Who cares? It's a great jacket. It costs way too much, I'm sure. I didn't pay for it. The show's paid for it. Thank you, dude. That's awesome. They have, like, dress for success programs because if it's nice stuff, you can donate it, like to these groups that'll work with people that have job interviews or different things.

And that way, you know, the nice things can be. Well, I don't think anyone's going to be wearing these SpongeBob chires to a job interview. Well, no, but he's talking about some of his other nice stuff. I will donate it at the same place that we always. donate clothes and people will go there and find them and use them hopefully. And so, but I got a lot. I mean, probably, I had probably 320 pair of shoes in this one room. Dang, dude. And I've probably gotten a pair of like, gotten really like 40 of them. It's a problem. But I was just buying shoes. I have single. And some guys would go out and

spend their money on women. What? Or alcohol. Everyone has that though. Like, everyone collects of them. I bought shoes. It's okay. I know it's okay. That's what I did. You're all right. I'm not saying I'm not all right It's gonna be fine dude Thank you I was wondering So all right well I think that's it We're gonna keep it kind of short today We're all pretty tired from the weekend Ray what do you have time wise

We are at I'm saying 25 we're at 21 Isn't it crazy scuba Steve won the hundred bucks? I was thinking about that On the ball roll that's awesome dude That's so much fun it was exhilarating I loved it Mike and I were standing over it going we can't believe it Yeah for sure you guys like uh 33 But it was 32 hey I've $100 Let's go

If you want to play against the hundred you can if not we're gonna roll playing against it is using your own money no good none good no I'm good no I'm dry dude I have no cash we got bin-mo I know I that's a slippery slip you can have for five bucks

you can have five numbers roll the dice scuba steve win it I saw it possible baby okay you dream it you can be it that's not true anything no I'm good man lunch I guess we're good then

no I'm good I just want to do it for free there's no free roll today well then I'm out today. All right. Anybody? Going once? Morgan?

Throw the hotel key away. I'm good. Go the hotel key away. Kept the hotel key. She kept the hotel key. Should have put in that drop box. What number would you? Let me see what number this would have been.

Here we go. We're not doing this. We're not doing this. What number would you have picked? Yeah. 47. 41. Probably three.

I don't know. 52. Ray? I'm going to think something higher. I'm feeling a 92. Okay. Scuba? 32. Ooh. 34. Scoop is on fire.

That was close. Let's do one more. This was fun. Put the hunter on this one. We're not doing a bunch of rolls. No, no. If we're going to do this, we're putting money up. No, no. I will do. I can roll the ball all day long and not put money. Watch me to do it again. Oh, you're still rolling it. Yeah. 19. Yeah, keep going. 21.

No, it's not. Mike 21 Mike he's lying okay you want about money that's not did you just move it to it

you can't move it Mike what's that number say 21 really it hit 21 and you would have guessed three huh you were to guess three no I was

I just did that because in case it hit 21 22 really all I do one more for 23 38 all right

we're out no money today I'm broke scuba Steve had me suffering all weekend couldn't even get coffee because I had to give him

100 bucks all right see you guys tomorrow everybody. All right. If you have ever dealt with a traditional home security company, you know the drill. Expensive monthly fees, contracts that lock you in for years, and waiting around for a technician to set everything up. It's a lot. Well, now they're Simply Safe. They have completely changed the game. Simply Safe has no long-term contracts, no hidden fees, no being trapped. They earn your business by actually keeping you safe, not by locking you in. Setting up is so easy. You customize your system at SimplySafe.

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Service opens doors. And at American military university, it can open doors for the whole family. If you have a loved one who served in the military, you may qualify for reduced tuition. AMU offers flexible online programs designed to fit your schedule so you can keep moving forward wherever life takes you. Learn more at AMU. APUS. Dot APUS.edu slash military.

Open doors to the future for you and your family with the help of American Military University. That's AMU. APUS. Dotter. Air Tasker helps you get your weekends back. I need a screen printer. And someone to wait in line for my everything bagel. Go to Airtasker.com or download the app.

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