The Bobby Bones Show - MORGAN: Money Talk With Anna Brading & Daniel Brigham

Episode Date: March 16, 2025

TAKE THIS PERSONALLY WITH MORGAN HUELSMAN: MONEYYYYY! 🤑 Yes, we're talking about that special M word this week. Morgan has on financial educator and author Anna Brading to talk about the 3Ms of money, how to save while still living your life, and the best of the best BIG investments to make. Then Daniel Brigham comes on to share his story and how moments of his life led to a difficult relationship with money & how he turned things around.  Follow Anna Brading: @mentoramoney Follow Daniel Brigham: @budgeters_anonymous Follow Morgan: @webgirlmorgan Follow Take This Personally: @takethispersonallySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed human. A win is a win. A win is a win. I don't care what you're saying. Yep, that's me. Clivert Taylor the 4th. You might have seen the skits,

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I got you. I'm Agoode. My next guest, it's Will Ferrell. Woo, woo, woo, woo. My dad gave me the best advice ever. He goes, just give it a shot. But if you ever reach a point where you're banging your head against the wall and it doesn't feel fun anymore, it's okay to quit. If you saw it written down, it would not be an inspiration. It would not be on a calendar. of, you know, the cat just hang in there. Yeah, it would not be. Right, it wouldn't be that. There's a lot of luck. Yeah. Listen to Thanks Dad on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Money, money, money. I don't even know where that comes from, but I love that saying. This week, we are talking all about that M word, yes, money. No one likes to talk about finances

because they're scary, but we're going to dive into it. First up, I have Anna Brady on a financial educator and author to talk about the three ems of money, how to save while you're still living your life, and the best of the best big investments to make. We're talking cars, houses, that kind of thing. Then Daniel Brigham is coming on to share his story and how moments in his life led to a difficult relationship with money and how he turned things around and the steps he still takes today to create a better life for himself. I have Anna Brady on with me. I'm really excited. She's a financial education instructor and an author. And this topic is so important. So Anna, thank you for being here. How are you? I'm doing very well, thank you. I'm in survival mode

in the British winter at the moment, but I will get through it. I'm paring on and seeing it will be spring. So that'll be great. Yes, it will. We're powering over here in the winter too, so I totally understand. I'm really excited to talk with you about all things, finances, because this is one thing that I don't feel like I had a lot of education on growing up. I got really lucky that I had parents who were really smart with their money and they were good at saving and they were good at investing and they taught that to me. But in schools, it's not something you really learn about. So this is why I have you on.

You're going to be our educational teacher today. That's my happy place. I'm totally fine with that. Fire away. All right. So here we go. What are some things about money? that we should have been taught growing up as we really started to get into finances

and we got our first paycheck and we understood, oh, we're getting paid for the things that we're doing. What are some things that you wish maybe if we did get taught in school, they would have taught us? There are so many things and so many angles we can go on in this. And one of the things I like to talk about is what I call the three M's in money. And I think if we zoom out for a second and we just go big picture. Okay, let's just take a step backwards and look at the big picture of money and finance. Because there's so much we need to know that we didn't get to exactly as you're saying, let's break it down a little bit. So I have like three ms of money. So I have mindset, manage and multiply. And I think so often what we can do is we come to a crunch point in our

lives where we go, oh, it's not working. I feel broke. I feel stressed out about my finances. I've got nothing in my savings account. I've just dipped into it over Christmas. Panic, panic, panic. And then we can go into fix it mode and try and figure stuff out. But I think it's really important to understand this overarching broad, big picture of our finances. And then when these things up, we can zoom in on one of those Ms and have a look. Is it a mindset thing going on here? Is it a managed thing of how you're managing your money? Or is it a multiply thing of how you're growing and building your wealth? So those are the kind of, that's the big picture. So the three M's is a really good starting point, I think. I think the mindset is really

difficult from people, especially when it comes to saving our money. I think the idea of saving is really great and you're like, yeah, I need to do that. But when it comes down to it, we just don't. So when somebody's trying to save or you're encouraging them to start saving, what are those first steps you're encouraging them to take? Yeah, I think let's come back to the mindset thing for a second because I think as you're describing it there, one of the key ways to know, one of the key signs that you've got a mindset thing going on here is when you're trying to do something and it's just not happening. And you're like, I'm trying to go ahead. I'm trying to get my saving sorted. I'm trying to move forward. But I just keep coming back to this same point. I think that can be a really key

indicator that there's something going on in your inner wiring that's stopping it actually happening. Yeah, I always like to think of mindset stuff as like either a handbrake or an accelerator pedal. So if you want to start saving and you really want to get it going, is it, is your mindset, wired in such a way that actually when you get going, you're just powering that direction, or is it just the break goes on and you just can't get going? But I think you're right to flag savings because I think that can be one of the toughest things. And let's be honest, saving money is not glamorous and it's not sexy. It's not the thing that makes you go, oh, I just can't wait to get savings is really exciting. Some stuff we talk about with money is really exciting. It's

fun, it's interesting. Maybe you started a little business and it's starting to get going. You've made your first sale. So fun. But when we talk about the quiet discipline of putting a bit of money into a savings account, it's just not as glamorous. So I think it's good to acknowledge that and identify that. So what I like to do is I like to really zone in and focus on what is this saving going to achieve for me? What's the outcome? What's the why behind it? Because I think when we dial into the why when we get that really clear in our focus and in our mind we can align our motions we can align our mindset and it can then just help keep us on track when it does get a bit boring and it gets a little bit difficult those moments where you're standing in i don't know equivalent clothes shop is in

in america but in the UK we've got you got your zara and you've got your h-and-m oh yeah we have those two those are definitely a thing you're looking at that amazing outfit and you're thinking I really want that, but I've got a savings. I've committed to saving, but I can look, I can just open that app on my phone. I can see the money is there. I can just dip into it. And it's in those moments that you better have a good reason to save

because that's going to bail you out in that moment. So what is it? What is it that's motivating you to do it? Is it just because someone's told you to? Or in my case, it was a case of I knew I needed to build an emergency fund, which we could talk about maybe if you want later on. but it was this sort of idea of building up a lump sum. And I knew that if I did that and I completed that,

that would then open the door to allow me to start confidently investing. And I knew that investing was the thing I really wanted to get to because then I could start to grow my wealth and I could start to move from a place of being paycheck to paycheck the whole time and actually start planning for my future and get excited about that. So it was like this, it was almost like this tool really to get me to where I wanted to actually be. think when you know why you're saving what it's for, you've got clarity on that, that can really

help motivate you and keep you going. You mentioned here, talking about being in Azaro or an H&M, why do we have these tendencies to want to overspend? What's happening there that's in our brain that may help us understand a little bit more why we might be overspending for whatever your vice is. Yeah, obviously there's so many ways to overspend, isn't there? And particularly now, we're in a point in time that we've never been in history before where you can click a button and get the very thing you want tomorrow, or even today, potentially. That's never been the case. In the whole of the history of time, that's never been the case. So we are facing challenges of immediate gratification now that we've never had to face before in this way. And so I think it doesn't,

you don't have to look very far to see something that you want. And also, we're, with the rise of marketing and sales and adverts, social media, it's absolutely bombarding us. We are constantly surrounded by the next cool thing, the next idea, the next cool gadget that we want to get. Making you feel like the thing you've got right now isn't good enough anymore. And it's moving at such a pace that I think overspending is so common and so easy to fall into.

And I think, to be honest, unless you're very strict, most of us do it. I think I do it from time to time. I'm not perfect. I see the flights and I think, oh, I could go and see my friend. Don't have a plan to pay for that. But I'm just going to do it. I'm just going to do it. And I think we've got to be real, though. And I think one of the problems with overspending is because it's like a, it's a little bit of escapism. Because a lot of us, especially at the moment, with the way things have been in recent years, post-COVID, with cost of living crisis, and really the rising cost of living going mad. Many of us potentially were doing all right before that

and now we're feeling in a position where we feel a little bit trapped and we feel a bit stuck in that, maybe in that paycheck to paycheck, what I call the doom loop, because I just think it is a complete doom loop. And do you feel, if I just get that thing, it's going to relieve that pressure a little bit

just for a moment. It's going to make me feel like I'm not trapped. It's going to make these circumstances feel a little bit better. And I think we've got to be real about that. But also we mustn't ignore those feelings of what you actually want. You want to have a fun, exciting, adventurous life. Cool. We all do, I think.

And I think one of the things I love to help people do is before they jump into the how and the what and the why of money and managing money and bank accounts and saving pots and all that stuff, I really love to inspire people to stop for a second and just say, what is it you really want? What is it deep down that your circumstances don't even allow you to think about right now like you just think, oh, I'll never have that. If you put it down on paper and you get it all out, is it really that far off? If it is, maybe that will help you make some decisions to start moving in that direction. So I think overspending can often be a little bit of a signal to what it

is going on under the bonnet and actually what you really want to be doing and having in your life. Oh, hearing you say that, just talking about the deep down what you really want and writing it out because I think the biggest thing with finances in general is we do feel like we want to have everything and we want to have this life. You have this juxtaposition of I want to do and live my life, but also I understand and I need to save and protect myself for the future or for emergency circumstances. We have that constantly going on, this internal conflict. When we talk about two mistakes, what are some mistakes that you're seeing people often make, especially in the beginning stages of financial decisions or learning to save or invest.

Yeah. I think if we go really practical for a second, this is such a quick fix, but it really works, is especially with saving. I think we tend to think, I used to do this like literally all through my 20s. It was bad.

You basically get your income come in and then you go, okay, I'm going to spend what I need to spend and I'm going to be really good this month, honestly. It would be so good. And then I'm going to save what's left at the end. And I think right there is, one of the biggest savings mistakes because there's this thing, Parkinson's Law, you may have heard

of Parkinson's Law where it's about the time it takes to do a task, it will expand to the time you give it. There's a derivative of that for finance, which kind of goes along the lines of. Whatever money's available to you to spend, your spending will increase until it's all gone. That's just how it goes. So if you think to yourself, I'm going to be really good with my money this month, then I'm just going to spend really carefully, and then by the end of the month, I'm just going to save that bit. What's actually going to happen is you're just going to spend more and then you're going to get to the end of the month and there's not going to be anything left and that is me if i don't plan for that that is me and i'm sure many people can relate so one of the best hacks it sounds so simple and so almost silly but it's

just put your money aside first as soon as you get paid if you plan to save what is that amount automate it to go out of sight into another account before you start spending for the month just that act alone of putting it out of sight, out of the way before your spending starts, it's just night and day. It's just such a different approach, but it works. And then when you look at the number in your account, you're living off that amount. You're not living off the total amount. And that'll just help you as you go through your months to pace it out a bit more and work within your means having already saved. And also, just a side note, spending is way more fun when you've already saved because you're not standing in the shop going, oh, I should be saving,

but I don't, I just, I really want that thing. You're like, I've saved, we're good, let's spend happy days. This is my spending money. So I think it is a, it's a nicer way to go through the month anyway. You're saying things that my dad has hounded into me since I was a kid. He was like, pay yourself first. Go on dads. Yes. And this is what I saw on your social media too. I was like, yeah, she gets it like you you do this first and you can take care of the rest later and something too that you really honed into me very early on which he wishes he did we're a circumstance of their mistakes and the things they wish they did and for him he wishes he invested in his 401k sooner and so he said really early on as soon as you feel comfortable and you feel like you're not

surviving paycheck to paycheck he's i want you to take a little bit out at a time and put it into your 401k don't even think about it just have it automatically go in there and it'll be put away for a later use one day and you'll be really glad you did it and so i've been doing that since maybe i was 25 and it was just a little at first i think maybe 10 dollars a month it was not anything but it was something enough to make me feel okay i'm contributing why is that 401k so important because it's really easy to think like future times don't worry about it it is so easy to think like that I still do that now when I'm getting closer to that bit. I'm much older than you starting at that age.

I wish I'd started that young. And I had to play catch up and I'm still playing catch up because I didn't start young. And it's frustrating. So I wish the same as your dad. I wish people got this early and just did it as a, like you said, exactly like that. A small amount to start with doesn't have to be a lot. But it just gets the habit going. And then as you hopefully, as things increase, your income increases as you get older,

that you can increase the percentage perhaps that you're saving each month and putting into investments. The important thing, the thing it all comes down to, and it's not, this is why it's so important to start young, it's all based on compound interest. Very boring sounding, but there's like this magical force going on behind investing that makes it all work and it's compound interest. It's a bit of maths that without it, the whole thing falls down. The idea is you're earning on your earning. So you're getting a return on your investments, but then you're getting a return on that return as well. So instead of having a sort of straight line increase, it's a curve upwards. So the longer it goes, the more the growth happens. So there's crazy stats.

I'm not going to quote them exactly because I don't want to get them wrong. But Warren Buffett, for example, the majority of his wealth, he created after he was about 68, I think it was. And then from that point, it's just absolutely rocketed upwards. So he became a millionaire quite, young, but then his wealth was increasing, but there was a moment where it just hit, and that's compound interest. It's a classic example of compound interest. So I think the younger you can start, even if you're starting with a little bit, the longer you've got for your money to compound, and it really does make a difference. If you've got a spare moment and you want to geek out on this, you can go to the calculator site, there's loads of different calculators online, but a calculator

site.com or something like that, they've got a compound interest calculator, and I think to visualize it, I wish I could flash up a graph right now, but to visualize, if I put in, let's say, like, your example, 10 pounds or $10 a month for 10 years, what does it do? And if, say, let's say you've got a return of, let's say, 8% or something, what does it do? Okay, well, 20, now let's look at 30, let's look at 40. And when you can visualize the difference, that's quite motivating. So I always recommend people have a little look and a play around with those, even though it's quite geeky. It's worth doing.

You talk about motivating. I had started, I don't know if you guys have Robin Hood over there. It's an investment app. Similar stuff, yeah. Yeah. So I had started playing around on that. When I finally got to the point where I was like, okay, I'm comfortable. Maybe I'll try a little investing. I have no idea what I'm doing. You're looking at someone who has zero experience, zero knowledge of the stock market. But I said, I'm going to just start buying some stocks of things that I use and I love. Yeah. Because I know I'm using and loving them, which means there's probably other people that are. So that's what we started with. I think I bought like Apple and Disney and all these different kind of just things that I use every day, meta. And I was buying stocks in them and I was having so much fun. I was not playing with a lot of money, but I was having so much fun being like, oh, I made $5 today.

Now, I know the stock market is like very volatile and that goes up and down. But the days when it would be up, I'd get so excited. Watching that experience happen and seeing something happen with my money that I didn't do anything besides I just put into an app was really fun. So totally understand that motivating factor. And I do want you to speak on the investing because I, like I said, I am so not an expert, but you have the expertise to tell us like what investments might be right for us, especially starting and as we start to grow.

Yeah. Even you saying that, I have some. expertise. I am not a financial advisor. I'm a financial educator. So just to put it out there, I'm not going to tell you exactly what to invest in with your money, that only a financial advisor can do that. But that's the point really is that you don't need to have, you don't need to dedicate your whole life to understanding stocks and shares and the ups and down to the market to really benefit from investing. And I think my biggest tip would be don't, because it's a bit of a vortex investing. You can get sucked in by all the information that's there and the different

theories and different ways of investing, different asset classes you can invest in and everyone's got an opinion. But you really need to almost learn quite quickly to drown out the noise and just look at what is a sensible long-term strategy for someone like me who's not going to spend 10 hours a day watching the stock market going up and down. I'm not going to do that I've got things I want to do with my life. So I think just to go, just to be okay with picking sort of broad market index funds, those kinds of things that are capturing lots and lots of different companies rather than, even with picking your stocks, even in that example, I think investing in what you're interested in is a nice idea. But I think at the same time,

if something happened to Apple and you've got only Apple stock and maybe two others, it's quite a risky play because let's we don't know the inner workings of apple right we don't know what conversations are happening right now behind closed doors there might be some big scandal about to come out tomorrow let's hope not but that can happen and it has happened in the past and you have to remember that if all your eggs in one are in one basket that is quite a risky play so you want to look at what are less risky strategies but will still get me some potentially good returns on my money because you still want your money to grow right so I think taking that approach where you're not just putting all your regs in one basket is a really good move.

There's very simple, boring funds that you can put your money into that are not like all singing or dancing, very exciting. They just follow different markets that are doing well and the best companies in those markets. And that's a less riskier approach than sort of trying to work it all out for yourself. Yes, the funds are super important to when you look at different funds. Can you give us a few examples just because I know like for me when I started learning so much about this, I had I had no knowledge of anything. So some maybe some basic ideas of what those funds may look like. Sure. I think you can look at different geographies. So you can go, so say for example, you were you were like, I want to invest in US. Okay. There's some great companies in the US.

Let's be honest. Let's see if we can capture some of those. So you've got one that everyone talks about is S&P 500, which is just tracking 500 amazing companies in the US that are doing very well. That's all it's doing. It's just following those 500 companies. So that's a really interesting one. That's the one that everyone normally quotes when they talk about index funds. But there's other ones like that around the world. There's an equivalent in the UK.

And then you can get worldwide funds as well. But the thing to do, I think, would be to find an investing platform that has, has got a very high emphasis on education and handholding you through the process. I don't want to speak to specific platforms because it won't apply in different geographies. But in the UK, we've got some great platforms now that aren't just dishing you up funds. They're going, okay, here's a few video tutorials on what this is and what you might be investing in if you invest in this. And, hey, are you interested in potentially impact funds that are doing good in the world? Okay, let's talk to you about that. And I think I would just really encourage people to do, just do a bit of rabbit hole,

just go down a rabbit hole and learn, but do it with a reputable source like a decent investing platform where they are educating you, they're handholding you, they're telling you about the risk levels of each different fund. And yeah, I think that's a good route to go. A win is a win. A win is a win. I don't care what you're saying. Yep, that's me, Clifford Taylor the forth. You might have seen the skits, the reactions, my journey from basketball to college football, or my career in sports media. Well, somewhere along the way, this platform became bigger than I ever imagined. And now I'm bringing all of that excitement to my brand new podcast, The Clifford Show. This is a place for raw, unfiltered conversations with some of your favorite athletes,

creators, and voices that not only deserve to be heard, but celebrated. One week, I'll take you behind the scenes of the biggest moments in sports and entertainment, and the next we'll talk about life, mental health, purpose, and even music. The Clifford Show isn't just a podcast. It's a space for honest conversations, stories that don't always get told, and for people who are chasing something bigger. So if you've ever supported me or you're just chasing down a dream, this is right where you need to be.

Listen to the Clifford show on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. And for more behind the scenes, follow at Clifford and at TikTok Podcast Network on TikTok. There's two golden rules that any man should live by. Rule one, never mess with a country girl. You play stupid games, you get stupid prizes. And rule two, never mess with her friends either. We always say that trust your girlfriends.

I'm Anna Sinfield, and in this new season of the girlfriends... Oh my God, this is the same man. A group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific con artist. I felt like I got hip-hift. by a truck. I thought, how could this happen to me? The cops didn't seem to care. So they take matters into their own hands. I said, oh, hell no. I vowed. I will be his last target. He's going to get what he deserves. Listen to the girlfriends. Trust me, babe. On the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What's up, everyone? I'm Ego Wodom. My next guest, you know from

stepbrothers anchorman Saturday Night Live and the Big Money Players Network. It's Will Ferrell. Woo. Woo. My dad gave me the best advice ever. I went and had lunch with them one day. And I was like, and dad, I think I want to really give this a shot. I don't know what that means, but I just know the groundlings.

I'm working my way up through and I know it's a place they come look for up and coming talent. He said, if it was based solely on talent, I wouldn't worry about you, which is really sweet. Yeah. He goes, but there's so much luck involved. And he's like, just give it a shot. He goes, but if you ever reach a point where you're banging your head against the wall and it doesn't feel fun anymore, it's okay to quit. If you saw it written down, it would not be an inspiration.

It would not be on a calendar of, you know, the cat. Just hang in there. Yeah, it would not be. Right, it wouldn't be that. There's a lot of luck. Listen to thanks dad on the IHeartRadio app. Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, that's super helpful. I wish, again, it's living you learn. Like, you start to understand things a little bit more. And I wish that's something even I

had as I was starting to dip my toes in this very shark eating world where I had zero experience what I was doing. On this kind of flip side of investing, we also have debt. There are so many people out there that carry debt, unfortunately. And it's something that I feel like holds this storm cloud for people over their head. What are some tips or resources maybe that help for you when you're working with people and they have debt, but they want to get out of debt and they want to be on their way to savings or investing? Yeah, really good question. It is. It's very, storm cloud is a very good metaphor for what it feels like with debt. And I think, and the way that it can grow and accumulate as well is pretty scary. And I think let's mind

ourselves again that we are in a really strange point in time where, again, you can just put anything on buy now, pay later, just click that button. Don't worry about paying for it today. Just pay for it tomorrow. It's fine. So easy to take on debt now. So just to get in that position is very easy. And not to mention all the big things that have happened in the last few years that have just thrown curveballs at us, one after the other, in life globally. So there's a lot of that. But I think somebody who is wanting to get out of debt, I think the first thing to say would just be like huge, well done. Excellent move. Having that shift from I'm going to just have it there sitting there growing to I'm going to do something about this now and I'm going

to get out of this situation is incredibly brave. It takes effort and it takes courage. And I think you need to know that's a great decision. That is a great decision to tackle it, to face it, to battle with it, to get out of it is a great thing to do. I think another thing that I often say to people, which I think still is relatively unknown, is there's so many free resources and people that will give you their time for free to help you know what steps to take. So if we're talking significant amounts of debt and you're in a position where it is difficult to pay your bills, you're in a tight spot, there are so many amazing charities, resources, organizations around the world that will help you for free. So the whole idea of you have to do this on your own,

you got yourself in this situation, it's your job to get yourself out. That's not necessarily true. I think to be able to walk it through with somebody is a really good move. And there are plenty of places that will do that without charging you anything for their time and expertise as well. And then coming back to what we started with saving, one of the best, I think, motivators for getting out of debt is having that clear goal and that target and setting yourselves, if you can, breaking it down into from now to completely cleared, what are the steps I'm going to take and ticking them off as you go. So a lot of people have their sort of charts. They put on the

wall. They might have an app that kind of reminds them of how well they're doing. They're seeing that number come down. That's so good because that's just a good thing to do anyway with savings goals, with investing goals, with business goals, anything. And I think that is a really great motivator. I was just saying, if I was to pay that much per month by this date, I'm going to be debt free. And you do everything you can to stick to that, to pay it down. quicker if you can, very motivating. And that's worked really well for a lot of people. Because you just brought savings back up, it reminded me that I also wanted to talk a little bit more in detail about the dip into savings, because we also, a lot of us love to do this.

I love to do it. I'll be like, I have savings. I can go on that trip. It's there. I have the money. So how do we make sure we don't keep doing that, especially in this situation too, when maybe you do have somebody who's in debt and they're trying to save or you just have somebody in general that's trying to save for an emergency fund. How do we make sure we just don't touch the savings? It's great. Yeah. I can relate to that. Okay. I think step number one is what is that saving there for? What is it doing for you? So coming back to that, giving it a reason to be there. I think many of us grow up with we don't have a lot of financial education. We don't. But one thing we do know is, we should be saving. Like we have this kind of at the back of mine, there's a little voice going,

you should be saving, you should be saving. You know what? You should be saving. And so you're out and about and you're trying to spend your money and you're just thinking, I should be saving. But no one ever really tells what to save for. They never really break it down and say, okay, this is this type of saving, there's this type of saving, there's that type of saving. And I think when I got clarity and what is that I actually need to have in my bank account for my current lifestyle right now to make sense and then to move on to other things. And I got those numbers, I was like, oh, great, you're just giving me a bunch of targets to hit. I'll do that and then I can move on to the other things. So I think one of those, so taking that time to stop and go,

okay, yes, I've got a savings pot, but why is it there? What's it for? So the ones you really want to think about is your emergency fund, which is your three to six month buffer, you build up this kind of lump sum of cash. So if anything happens to your income, if anything awful comes your way, let's hope it never does, but it can happen. You've got three to six months worth of living expenses. So not all the fun stuff as well. Just what does it cost you to live in a month? That's saved up and ready to go if anything happens and you suddenly need to pay out tomorrow. Now, you want to keep that out of sight because that needs to be there when the time comes if you have an emergency. So I think, so personally, my husband, we've built up ours and we transferred it recently into another account. I set up a whole different account.

It's got better interest rate so I can make a little bit of money on that money. But also, it's very hard for me to log in because I can't remember my login details. You've got that three-step process to go to just to even see what's in there at the moment. And I logged in the other day and I was like, why can I not log in here? And it's all good. It's just great security. But that process of having to actually go and find out how to log in is really helpful because it stops me just being able to quickly transfer money out. That's a really good thing to do.

Then you've got your, what I call smug savings, but other people call them sort of sinking funds as well. It's another term. I call them smug savings because, okay, I love this idea of, firstly, I don't really know what's sinking in that scenario. Is it ship? Is it a boat? I don't really, never really resonated with that term.

So I call them smug savings because what are the things in your life that you know, if that expense came in, you'd feel so smug if you had a pot of cash sitting there ready to go for that thing. Oh, I love this term. Yeah, it just makes more sense to me. So imagine Christmas is coming up. If you celebrate Christmas, you make me a bit of a spendy time of year, you get to the 1st of December and you look at your accounts and you've got a pot in there in your bank called Christmas ready to go for the whole of December to go enjoy yourself. You're going to feel so good. You're going to be like, yes, go me. I'm so good at this money stuff. So I think taking a step back,

and looking at your life as a whole, what are your big expenses that are too big for one month that you really should be putting money aside towards every month to fund those little pots to make sure whenever that expense comes in, you've got money ready to go. Outside of those two things, there are some other things like saving for a house deposit and maybe a big expense like a car, but really once you funded those things for your life and for what your numbers are, that's when you can go, cool, I've done it, now I can move on to the other stuff and I can put my money elsewhere. So I think knowing what the things are for helps you to not dip into them and helps you to have that separation between them. So it's not just one big giant pot of money that's fair game

for any cool thing that might come up in your life. This is the part where my mom comes in and she was really big on when I started saving. And she said, I need you to have specific different categories because that's going to help you understand what you're saving for, what it looks like. And at the end of the day, why you're putting it in there. And when I adopted my dog, she goes, time to add another emergency fund. You need to have something ready in case something were to happen. And it did really help me just to have categories of things, especially in the beginning. Now I've gotten, it's such a habit that it's just, I'm so trained in the brain to do it. But in the beginning, it helped me as very young 20-something girl who had no idea what I was doing.

It just categorized things so much easier and made it seem very, very real versus just money going to a different account. Absolutely. Yeah. I think the more you can map that out for yourself early on, the better. And like you say, what a wise woman to tell you, don't just get the dog, plan for the dog financially, because dogs are expensive, aren't they? And I think that's wise. That's good wisdom of using your money well so that you don't end up in a spot where you're having to dip into some other savings because you never planned for it. But I do think that a whole idea of just mapping it out for yourself, it seems, again, A silly thing to do, do I need to do that? Yeah, you do. Because life's complicated. And I find as I'm getting

older, I've got three children, as they're getting older, more variables. Every day, it seems. There's more things. I'm like, what? What else do I need to put on my budget? I had this lovely moment last night that made me chuckle. So in the UK, we have this banking system called Monso. It's like a, I think it's in the US, but I think it's early days in the US, which basically just allows you to split your money in your bank account into different pots. So you can physically move your money into pots inside one account. Which is amazing. It's incredible.

It's literally an absolute game changer. So we've got this. So I teach about these pot systems a lot because for me it was one of the things that took me from somebody who wasn't saving to somebody who's good at saving. So it really changed things for me. So anyway, my husband was sitting there doing our budget last night. We were,

we've just moved to London. We've changed a lot in the last year. So we're constantly reviewing it at the moment. which is a, it's not the funnest job in the world, is it? You'd rather be watching TV in the evening. Anyway, we're sitting there. And then he just goes, so I always joke about how many pots I got. And I think at the time, counted it was about 16 or 17 different pots, different categories.

Is that not, though, just the great example of a mom? Like that, if that anything, that details it. Yeah. And he was sitting there last night doing the automations for next month. And he just hit the button. It was like, you've exceeded the maximum amount of pots. And I was like, yeah. That sounds about right. That sounds about my life right now. So I was like, oh, can you screenshot

that? Because I feel like I need to share that on socials because that's too good. But unfortunately, it was gone. Yeah. So I think the more than merrier, map out your life. Look at your situation. And remember, personal finance is called personal finance because personal to you. Doesn't need to look like somebody else down the road. It doesn't need to look like how your best friend's doing it. What do you need to make your life work? What do you need to have in your emergency fund based on your lifestyle. So make it personal. There's one thing I want to end on here because you you're giving such great advice and just educationally. This is something that I just so wish that I had in my teens. Even in high school, I wish it would have been planted as a seed. I want to end on this one.

When we look at buying things, what you talked about big purchases, houses, cars, getting a dog. what are some things that are a very smart investment, like as far as personally to do versus looking at this is probably something that might drag you down the later. Maybe it's more credit cards, but could be any number of things. Yeah. When you're talking to people,

what are those kind of two things on that side of things? Oh, such a good question. I think make sure you understand the difference between assets and liabilities. I don't know, many of your audience probably have read the book, Rich Dad, Poor Dad, by Robert Kiyosaki, excellent book, but he really introduced that whole concept to me of assets and liabilities.

And just understanding that one concept alone can massively change the way you spend your money. So in terms of what you've talked about, dragging you down in the future, what a great way to put it, because that's the job of a liability. And liability is something that you, buy that then cost you money to have it. So I hate to say it, but even a dog, like, sounds awful,

but like dogs cost money. Your dog's not going to make you money unless you make them in Instagram, dog superstar, and then you start making money that way. But that's okay. It doesn't mean they're wrong. It's not bad to have a dog, great to have a dog. But it's just understanding that is going to be something that costs you money later on down the line. And I think being real about that and having a strategy and a plan for that, if that's what you want to do, because we can't just say liabilities are bad, anything that costs money is bad, we need to live super frugal lives and be miserable, that's not the goal here. But I think just understanding how many things in your life have you got that fall under a liability category?

Have you got an expensive car that's costing you lots and lots of money each month? If you're thinking about buying a car in the future, how do you want to go about that? Do you want to do it in a way that it's going to have a massive monthly expense that, if something happens to your income later on, that's going to be a real burden. There's just a lot of just understanding that liability categories would be helpful. And then on the flip side, you've got assets, which are things that you can buy that do make you money and actually adds to your income. So liabilities, again, not wrong. If you've got to just how much that's going to cost you to keep them and have them, can you actually afford that?

And then assets, super cool because go for it. Get your assets going because they actually add to your income. then you've got more room each month in your budget to use and do what you want to do with that money. So assets would be things like investing in a property that you can rent out. It'd be things like we talked about investing, investing in a business so that you can actually one day make an income from that business, but potentially dividends from that business, all kinds of different ways of creating assets. But I don't think we really talk enough about assets and how to create assets other than thinking about your one stream of income, which is your job. And then you've

got your liability. So I think learning about assets, understanding them is a really good thing to do as well. Oh, you just made that sound so beautifully and just so helpful in the most basic of terms. So I appreciate you for that because it's, again, those aren't even terms. I learned when I bought my house that this was an asset and this would be helpful versus me for five years paying rent that went no place at all. So I learned as I got older and it's something that I'm continuing to learn, but just hearing you talk about it, I think it's going to be super beneficial for a lot of people. Anna, thank you for being here. Thanks for talking with me and sharing so much of just your knowledge on wealth and understanding, and I really appreciate it. Thanks having me.

A win is a win. A win is a win. I don't care what I'm saying. Yep, that's me, Cliver Taylor the 4th. You might have seen the skits, the reactions, my journey from basketball to college football, or my career in sports media. Well, somewhere along the way, this platform became bigger than I ever imagined. And now I'm bringing all of that excitement to my brand new podcast, The Clifford Show. This is a place for raw, unfiltered conversations with some of your favorite

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stories that don't always get told, and for people who are chasing. something bigger. So if you've ever supported me or you're just chasing down a dream, this is right where you need to be. Listen to the Clifford show on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. And for more behind the scenes, follow at Clifford

and at TikTok Podcast Network on TikTok. There's two golden rules that any man should live by. Rule one, never mess with a country girl. You play stupid games, you get stupid prizes. And rule two, never mess with her friends. either. We always say that trust your girlfriends. I'm Anna Sinfield, and in this new season of the girlfriends, oh my God, this is the same man. A group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific con artist. I felt like I got hit by a truck. I thought, how could this happen to me? The cops

didn't seem to care, so they take matters into their own hands. I said, oh, hell no. I vowed. I will be his last target. He's going to get what he deserves. Listen to the girlfriends. Trust me, babe. On the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. What's up, everyone? I'm Ago Vodam. My next guest, you know from Step Brothers Anchorman, Saturday Night Live, and the Big Money Players Network.

It's Will Ferrell. My dad gave me the best advice ever. I went and had lunch with them one day, and I was like, and Dad, I think I want to really give this a shot. I don't know what that means, but I just know the groundlings. I'm working my way up through, and I know it's a place that come look for up and coming talent. He said, if it was based solely on talent, I wouldn't worry about you, which is really sweet. Yeah.

He goes, but there's so much luck involved. And he's like, just give it a shot. He goes, but if you ever reach a point where you're banging your head against the wall and it doesn't feel fun anymore, it's okay to quit. If you saw it written down, it would not be an inspiration. It would not be on a calendar of, you know, the cat. Just hang in there. Yeah, it would not be. Right, it wouldn't be that.

There's a lot of luck. Listen to Thanks, Dad, on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Right now I have on Daniel Brigham. I saw a lot of Daniel's content online sharing his story, his relationship to money. And so I wanted to bring him on to talk about some of those experiences. So hi, Daniel. you. Thanks for being here. Yeah, thanks for having me on. How you doing? I'm good. We were both talking about how we didn't get much sleep. So we might be a little delusional during this episode, but that's okay.

Those are the best ones. That will make it more interesting. It definitely will. I want to kick things off by having you share your story of how you grew up, how you had some drug and alcohol problems that also related to some of the financial problems and how your dad getting sick led you to also making some changes. So if you are up for it, that's where we're going to start. Let's do it. What a good way to wake up. I grew up in a super small town in Vermont, which I'm incredibly grateful for. I think it's really shaped who I am. But one of the things that was part of that is I grew up with a single mom in a trailer and a really small town that wasn't like a poor town. There's actually a lot of people there with money. And so my whole life, I just felt a little bit discouraged by our financial situation and

always thought, why did we have to be the ones with no money? And so as a result, as I got older and went to college, I was oftentimes trying to overcompensate for the fact that I didn't want people to think that about me. I wanted people to think that I had money. And I actually became more obsessed with people perceiving that I had money, even if I was completely broke, then people to think that I didn't have money and maybe actually start saving money. Over time, that led to a lot of bad spending decisions, a lot of bad decisions with my budget. And it wasn't, it's funny, I had like around $100,000 in debt. And it wasn't until, like, you just brought up my dad. It wasn't until my dad got sick and I realized I had no money to go and see him. My parents didn't, either of them had no money.

my dad never had a job for more than six months kind of guy. And so I really had to figure out a way if I wanted to be able to go see him before he passed away to scrap up some money. And it was a big awakening to just thinking that I had a good job that I was doing all the right things because I was told to go to college and just get a good job to realize, actually, I was being a complete bozo with my finances. I'm curious. Did you have to heal your relationship with yourself of what you experienced growing up

before you could start to look at finances and change that relationship? Or did it all happen at the same time? So it actually, that stuff happened later on as I was going through that journey. So because when my dad got sick and I realized I had no money, I also, when I made a budget, realized that I was going further into debt every single month and that I wasn't going to be able to even pay for my rent. So the reaction that I had in that moment was more fear-based. And there's a good thing that came out of that where it really forced me to get better. But I never was actually processing any of my trauma that I had growing up with money and finances. And it wasn't

until I became more stable where my wife used to buy these go macro bars and they're like $3. And I would have these knee-jerk reactions when she came back with one because I had this trauma around we're going to run out of money. We're not going to be able to pay rent, all these things that are just completely ridiculous. But it just really triggered me when I felt like we were spending things that weren't part of the budget. And that's when I decided to be like, okay, I'm clearly this is causing problems. in my life. I should go figure this out. But that was years after all those events.

Wow. So really the starting to budget and change your relationship with money really came at that heels of really wanting to see your dad and then shifted. And you're just like, okay, this makes more sense for me to go down this path. Yeah, pretty much. So it was a combination. Like my dad was the catalyst to making the budget because I was confused. At the time I was working in tech sales, which I think if most people heard that, they'd say, oh, you make good money doing that. And I was making 50 grand a year at the time, which to me felt like it was good money. But obviously people are aware of the economy.

It's not like I was rich or anything. But by going through and being like, okay, why can't I afford to go and pay for a flight from Austin to Philadelphia? that didn't make a lot of sense to me. And so when I made the budget, it just really exposed how irresponsible I was being and how that was going to lead to me basically coming to a point where either I could choose to pay rent or I could keep going out and doing drugs and alcohol and partying and being flashy with the little bit of money that I had. So my dad wasn't necessarily the motivator.

I wish I could say that he was the motivator to get. better with my finances, but it really was just rooted in fear, which I think, unfortunately, if you think about the stick versus the carrot, we all tend to be more motivated by the stick, unfortunately, than we are by the carrot. Yeah. Were you ever at a moment during all of this that you got so far into a hole and you were like, how do I get out of this? Yeah, yeah. That's how I felt immediately. At the time, I didn't even think that I was going to be able to get rid of all my debt. I had a personal loan with a really high interest rate. And I told myself, if I could get rid of that at least, then I could maybe go back to being an idiot.

And I like it. I could manage the car payment and I could manage my student loans and I could manage the credit card. But if I got rid of that personal loan, it would make a big impact. And so I did some just really wild things. Like I sold my blood plasma. I just started working every single day. I signed up for Rover. I signed up for this brand besties thing, which is like brand ambassador work.

Like I just was looking for, if I could work 24 hours a day, I would have at the time. And then as I started doing that, the good thing is when you're working, you're not spending money. So it slowed down on my ability to go spend money. But it just made me think, man, I'm doing all this effort to make this money. Maybe I don't want to buy that thing. So it was a slow build where it made me just appreciate. the hard work that I was doing.

And so then I just didn't want to spend my money. And then when I paid off that loan, that was when I started to think, okay, maybe I could actually pay off my credit card too. And maybe I actually don't need this car, right? And so I actually swapped it out for a soccer mom ban. And slowly with surely, it was like, okay, maybe I don't need these fancy clothes. Maybe I actually can just thrift something or maybe I don't need to go out to eat all the time. Maybe I can actually just make my own, like I used to make this chicken stew and spend

25 bucks a week on groceries and I just eat nothing but chicken stew. So I did a lot of weird things, but it was all rooted in the fact that I just started to appreciate my dollar more because I was working so hard. Yeah. And that's a hard lesson to learn, especially what you talked about, how you grew up in that way. You were never taught those things. You had to learn them on your own and have those personal experiences, which I think a lot of people can relate to because everybody has a different relationship with money and it's all rooted in how we grew up and what we were taught. So can you expand on that a little bit more like your experience and your emotions that

you would feel, especially looking back on your life and you're like, why didn't I get to, like you mentioned, why didn't I get to grow up rich and not have these problems? What was that like for you as you're finally addressing some of those things and those feelings you were having? It's interesting. I found that sometimes how much money your parents have nothing to do with the financial principles that they instill in you. Like sometimes people make a lot of money and they instill those. But it's really interesting. My mom has a learning disability and my dad was autistic.

And so I think for them, one of the things I really had to deal with as I was facing these things was you don't think about that as a kid. You're like, oh, my parents, why aren't they like other parents? But as an adult, I started to just really feel for them more and really accept them and say, you know what? I shouldn't have these massive expectations for them. They're humans. So no one taught them how to be a parent.

And so really a big part of that for me was just accepting my parents for who they are and not holding this grudge against the. things that I thought they could have done differently with either progressing their career or holding down a job or even today my mom makes a lot of bad financial decisions and it's really hard for me sometimes to not be able to control that because she's her own person. And so I think a lot of the trauma was just really on that piece because I want to have a good relationship with my mom and I want to have a good relationship with my parents. But if I'm like resenting them for things that are really not their fault, but maybe they should have taught me that's probably not

fair for them. But I think your question was more maybe like reacting to other people around me. And that part I still do struggle with a lot. If I'm just being honest with, it's really hard to not have imposter syndrome. My wife and I now are coming up on being millionaires. And it's wild to think about that. But there's this voice. my head that still tells me, even though I've made it that far, I'm still the person that was growing up, poor, not worthy, and that people who grew up with parents that had money are better than me, even though maybe they have a bunch of debt. I don't know, maybe I'll eventually be able to figure that out, but it's still something that really is like a battle in my mind. Yeah,

there's a few kind of different ways I want to go with this. You mentioned And your wife, which I would like to talk about the experiences you had when you met her, especially as all of this is happening. But I also want to acknowledge that I think as an adult, it's really hard to come to terms with understanding that your parents were also kids too at one point and they had to grow. And they were the best way I could ever say when I talk to people about parents is your parents are also experiencing life for the first time too. and they do truly the best that they can with what tools and resources they were given.

And you have to acknowledge that as an adult, which is a very delicate balance to understanding, okay, this is somebody that I love and care for, but also they're their own human, and they had all of these reasons, and I can't hold this against them. Now it's my turn to also do better. So I want to recognize that you mentioned that because I think that's something a lot of people experience, especially when they get older and they look back on their life and they're addressing things that happened when they were kids. It's so tough because there's still a part of us that's like the teenage version of

ourselves that's, okay, mom, okay, mom, and thinks that way. And it actually, I noticed it more after my dad passed away where I started to have more conversations because I was about 24, 25 when he passed away. So I was really just becoming an adult. at that phase and he had been sick for a couple years. And so I didn't really ever feel like I got to know him as an adult. And so I spent time with his sister and I spent time with my grandmother just trying to get to know him more because I had realized I developed all these perceptions of him.

And as I was going through that journey, that's when I started to realize that, yeah, he was just his own person with his own struggles, his own traumas, his own limit. imitations and he loved me very much, but he's an imperfect person like we all are. And it stinks that it took that for me to realize that. But now I try to, when I think about my mom, I really try to appreciate that more. Yeah. And it's probably helpful with you and understanding your relationship with your mom too, I would imagine. So there was a reason for it. But it is also. It truly is hard. And you have, when I say the delicate balance of honoring that like you feel a certain way because you didn't have certain things while also honoring that they were their own person and they had their own experiences and their living life for the first time too. That's really hard.

You're experiencing multiple different emotions in that same span of things happening. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. The biggest challenge that I'll cap it off with, I think that I faced with all that was. And I'm sure other people can relate to this, but my dad got sick and we hadn't talked for over two years because we'd gotten in this big fight. And I decided I didn't want a relationship with anymore, relationship with him anymore. And when he got sick, then I immediately had to throw away this grudge that we didn't ever work through.

Right. And I remember when he did pass, I was really struggling with, I should be more sad than I am. But at the same time, I didn't have the traditional relationship with my dad. And that's always been a really wonky one too because I think oftentimes we feel pressure from society to have a certain relationship with our parents because that's like the hallmark version of it when in reality our relationships with our parents are super complex and very unique. Yeah, that's a great point. And I know we're talking finances and stuff, but I'm so glad you shared that because it is.

It's very unique. And just like with all things in social media, we love to compare ourselves to others in every single way. And seeing people have those experiences while you don't is difficult. And when it's challenging, that's part of it. Now, you had also talked about your wife a little bit. What was it like for you? Because you did have this specific relationship to money. And I imagine probably at the point where you were looking to meet a partner, you were probably pretty frugal.

and you were trying to understand what this would look like. So when you start looking for a partner and these all things have happened to you, what was that like? I think there's some context here. So for one, my skills and when it comes to finances, we only to lean into what our God-given talents are. And one of my biggest skill sets is just being able to network with people and create connections and be really outgoing.

When it comes to dating, it turns out that's a really good skill to have. have. So I want to put that caveat in there because I understand that is just going to result in me, probably having a slightly different dating world than other people. But when it came to going past the just meeting somebody and actually developing intimacy, like letting someone actually into your world, I was, I actually feel like the reason why I let my wife more into that world. I was always very hesitant. My dad was sick when I initially met her and passed while we were getting to know each other still. So I was just very guarded at the time in general. But one of the reasons why I chose to let her in was because I felt like there were little things

that I started to pick up on that we were aligned on. And finances was one of those things. And so I just felt very confident being who I was. I didn't feel like we needed to have the same financial situation by any means. But I felt like I could share where I was at and I wasn't going to be judged. And I think for anybody when it comes to dating, you need to be able to talk about those things because finances might not even be your problem, but you're going to have some problem. And if you can't talk about that with the person that you're going to be the most intimate with, like what a awful relationship. Like that's one of the major benefits of being in a relationship. And so I hear a lot of men talk about how they want to get their financial poop together.

They'll say, hey, I want to get my finances together before I get out into the dating pool. And I just don't think that should be a factor. It'd be like sometimes I feel like it's almost an excuse to not commit to something or it's an excuse not to get intimate with someone because it's scary and we've all been hurt before. We just want to keep our independence because we're all a little bit selfish. but I just think that if you're, it doesn't matter where you are on the journey. And in fact, if you're struggling, having that partner is going to probably help accelerate that journey because it definitely did for me.

Yeah, for sure. And to your point, if you try and make sure everything is perfect before you find someone, before you do anything, before you chase a dream, before you get your finances in check, you're going to be waiting a long time. There's never going to be a perfect time to do anything. it's a perfect time for you that matters. And I like that you address that because dating and finances, there's a lot that comes with that. And you have a lot of people who feel this need to provide, especially on the men's side where they're like, I need to do all these things and I need

to have all my ducks in a row. You can have a lot of ducks in a row and still be good. You don't have to have every single thing figured out. That's part of a partnership. But to your point, it is what I see a lot in social media finances and guys in dating is a hot topic. Yeah. And then it's funny because then you have the guys that are really successful, right? Maybe they did wait, but then they probably have this fear of, I'm going to go to the dating pool and there's, I can't really relate to this because this was never me, but I imagine then they're thinking, was this person going to actually like who I am? Or are they just going to like all the things maybe that I can provide? And then also, can I even be vulnerable because they only know me as this person who's like strong and successful. And so if I were to

lose everything or if I were to hit this rock bottom moment in my life, would that person stand by me? And one of the amazing parts is I met my wife when I was going through rock bottom. So I have a lot of confidence that unless I did something really stupid, but if bad things happen to me, if a storm came my way, I know my wife would stay with me. And that's really amazing security. And one of the reasons why I that. I'm not saying the only way to go about it is to do that. But one of the reasons I have that is because I went through that journey with her. One of my therapists told me she always said in the beginning of dating, she's like, honestly, you need to go through one hard moment. It doesn't really matter what it is, whether somebody loses a tire and they have to change it on the side of the road

or some major kind of moment in somebody's life before you truly start knowing who that person is to truly say, I can commit to them because you don't, until you've seen someone go. through something hard, you don't really know who that person is. And I think there's a lot of truth to that and what you're saying and the experiences you had. Yeah, that's so true. And my wife has gone through a lot of hard things too. So on the flip side, I've seen that. And it's true. And I think vice versa, if your partner goes through something tough, they get to see how you handle it. And if you go through something tough, they get to see how you handle adversity. And I think both of those things are equally important. Yeah. And for you, when you did meet your wife, how did you bring up

the topic of finances and understanding that you guys are on this level? Because finances are a hard thing. People don't love to talk about them. And it's weird to be like, this is how I am. This is how I feel it may have been a little bit easier for you because it's part of your story. But I'm curious how that went. Oh, man. I met my wife like eight years ago. And it's so, we met in San Francisco. I was out there visiting. And then afterwards, we were pen pals for a few months because I was going out to San Francisco quite a bit. So I'll admit, in the beginning, no finances were talked about. It was very just like flirty text. It's okay. You got to talk to somebody, get to know him a little bit first before you just drop some

bombs. Yeah. And then after that, I think it was a little bit, the first one we ever talked on the phone we ended up talking for three hours. So then you're like, whoa, I have a lot to talk to this person about. So I'm trying to think about when some of the more finance-related things, because I definitely felt a little bit nervous because it wasn't an area that I was feeling very confident in myself about. It felt like a blemish. And so I was like, okay, when am I going to reveal this blemish of mine?

But then she had a moment where she was vulnerable about some stuff that her parents were going through financially and it made me feel as though, okay, I can share this with her and she's not going to judge me. After I started talking to her about it, I almost was like desperate puppy afterwards. I was like, please don't. I just shared this really vulnerable thing. Don't judge me and run away. So it was this really big weight when I finally did start talking to her about those things. But then we're both incredibly emotional. So as you can imagine, when we're, we fight, it is like not pretty, but then we have like super quick rebounds. But we decided to just move in together after three months of dating long distance. And so that's when finances really just

started, you can't avoid it. Like we're living together. We're figuring it all out. And the good thing was my wife was a writer. So she was not really making a lot of money. But the bad news was she moved in with me and I got laid off the very next day. To your point about like adversity, like neither one of us are making any money right when she moves here. And one of those moments where I didn't think about it as much as we were going through it, but afterwards I thought to myself, man, she could have totally been not down with it. She'd only been there for maybe a month. So she could have decided to just leave.

But she stuck it out. And she'll joke about it now and say, I was wondering if this was going to work. But I think to your point about the adversity piece, it just, it came up really quick and yeah neither of us i think just neither one of us were judging the other person every time that finances came up i know that's not a great answer for maybe someone that's early on how you go about bringing up finances i will say i lead a group through dave ramsdy's financial peace university and this past group or whatever the last group that we went through over the nine weeks. I was with a bunch of just single girls, which obviously my wife was crazy about.

I just got paired up that way. And so dating would come up a lot with them because they felt like they were doing all these things to improve their finances and how they think about it and their financial literacy. And so they're like, I don't want to date a guy that doesn't care about this as much as me. But the consistent thing that they would say was, I don't care necessarily that he's got everything figured out. I just want to know that we're aligned on how we think about these things. And I just think if you're dating, if you're early in dating, you're questioning or the things that you ask shouldn't be about how much money they have or how much debt that they have initially. It should just be more about how they think about those things.

And you can notice little things. Like if you go on a date with a guy and he's driving a $30,000 car and he makes $60,000, I don't know. Maybe that's a sign that he's an overspender. Yeah. You gave a lot of tips in there and stuff. You did great and you shared a lot of pieces of that. I think something that I noticed from all of it is that you were willing to be vulnerable,

even though it was so hard because you felt you were in a safe space and you felt there was empathy there that you could be that person that you needed to be. And I think that's what everybody's looking for in dating. And when you find that right person, I think these conversations can start to become a little bit easier. And maybe that's also a sign when you meet someone. and you're like, this doesn't feel comfortable to talk about. That's probably not the best situation to be in.

So there was a lot there that you gave and I really enjoyed that. One thing I want to make sure to ask you about, too, some of what you were mentioning in there sounded like budgeting and as you were changing things, why is budgeting so important to you now? I know you also talk a lot about that in your social content. Yeah. I think no matter what stage you're at,

maybe if you're like Elon Muskrich, maybe you don't need to make a budget, but he probably even has a budget himself. I think, regardless of what stage you're at, budgets can serve a very different purpose. And I've noticed that there's a perception of restriction or even, hey, I don't need a budget. I'm not broke, right? Like people oftentimes maybe associate budgeting with being broke. But when you're in a partnership with somebody, a budget is a written, I wouldn't say contract, but a written contract of how you guys are going to spend your money because my wife and I don't talk about your money and my money. We talk about our money whenever we do things. And it doesn't mean that if she goes and buys something

for $20 that I'm like, hey, you spent our money. But it means that if we spend a certain amount, like I think for us, it's around like something that's over $500, we usually will ask each other about it. So it's our money. So if you're in a relationship, budgeting is a great way to just get alignment with each other and have that conversation. And for us, I don't think that we would, talk a lot about how we would spend our money if we weren't sitting down and making a budget. But if you're just someone who is just feeling like you're struggling, a budget is an audit of your situation. Budgets are like going to the doctor when you're sick.

You know, you can't figure out how to heal yourself if you don't get a proper diagnosis. Right. if you're like, hey, I'm living paycheck to paycheck, but you never actually go through your expenses or how much money you truly have coming in. I don't know how you can expect to get any better. And so I felt like that was just such a foundational step. And then on top of it, it also, it's a test of your behaviors. So it's one thing to commit to making a budget, but 90% of it is actually sticking to it. And so to me, it feels like if you can just do that, part, you could almost know nothing else about finances. But if you were just good at sticking to a

budget and living within your means, you're going to be just fine because you'll probably figure out a way to start investing over time. You'll probably save up for emergencies. Like all the other stuff is smaller details that can definitely help you accelerate your journey. But if you can't follow a budget, I'm like zero to one, right? If you can't get to one, you're never going to get to all the other things. Baby stuff are very important. The baby steps. Yes. Daniel, I so appreciate you being here and sharing your story.

I think it's really important. And just how you share and how you talk about these things, these are hard topics. And people need to hear these things. Is there anything that we didn't get to that you want to make sure people here know about anything like that? No, not really. I'm pretty new to this game myself and trying to figure out myself online a little bit, I think, right now. So I think the one thing that I'll just echo is that zero to one piece. If people are struggling to get from zero to one, that's the stuff that I talk about online.

That's the stuff that I write about in my newsletter and all that kind of stuff. But if you're past that, then there's probably way better people than me to get your advice from. I think you're super relatable and what you're doing, again, is important. So Daniel, thank you for being here. Thanks for sharing your story. And it's really great to talk with you. Likewise. I hope you came away from this episode with some new tools and resources.

while also feeling heard when it comes to maybe your relationship with money. If you like the episode, please subscribe. It's a huge help and follow the podcast Instagram at Take This Personally. As always, I'm so happy you're here. I'll talk to you guys next week. A win is a win. A win is a win. I don't care what you're saying.

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