The Bobby Bones Show - MORGAN: Not Forgotten: Life Inside Senior Living Communities
Episode Date: June 29, 2025TAKE THIS PERSONALLY WITH MORGAN: Often times our senior communities get forgotten or overlooked, but we're hoping to change that with this new series. Morgan & her dog Remi found a special family... in Abe's Garden, a senior living community they've volunteered at for over 3 years. Morgan is bringing on the COO, a manager of community programs, and a life engagement manager to show the inner workings of senior living so that we may all have a better understanding as our own families age. They share how they got into this line of work, the need for involvement, and understanding how to support our loved ones as they enter this season of life. Abe's Garden: www.abesgarden.org Follow Morgan: @webgirlmorgan Follow Take This Personally: @takethispersonallySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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When a group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific con artist, they take matters into their own hands.
I bowed. I will be his last target.
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But if you ever reach a point where you're banging your head against the wall and it doesn't feel fun anymore, it's okay to quit.
If you saw it written down, it would not be an inspiration.
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of, you know, the cat just hang in there. Yeah, it would not be. Right, it wouldn't be that.
There's a lot of luck.
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It's the start of a new series, and I'm very ready for you guys to hear these episodes.
Remy and I have been volunteering as a pet therapy team at Apes Garden for several years now.
It's a senior living community and they have memory care support. And we've been part of this community for so
long that it's become really part of our routine of life. And this week, I get to bring on some of the
incredible employees who make a senior living community like Abe's Garden actually work and
function every hour of every day. So joining this week is Mallory Grimes, the manager of community
programs, Chris Coelho, who is the chief operating officer and Valerie Snyder, the life engagement
manager. And those three are going to share what their jobs mean and how they got into senior
living community work and why it's necessary for people to get involved. So let's do this.
I'm joined by Mallory, who has been working at Aves Garden for a long time, and we're showing a
different side of the senior living community. And I'm really excited for you guys to hear this.
Mallory, how are you? I'm good. How are you? Good. Thank you for being here.
Of course. So tell everyone how long you've been working in this field and kind of how you got into it.
Your story. Yeah. So I've been working at
Abe's garden for eight years. It was really my first job out of college. I've been here since I graduated,
but I grew up really close with my grandparents. I was lucky enough to spend time with them on the
weekends, get dinner during the week. They'd come to all my games, very supportive, and I would even
hang out with their friends as well from church. They all watched me grow up. Really comfortable
with this population, but I didn't know if I could handle it emotionally.
and my grandpa and I were especially close, and he died while I was in college, pretty unexpectedly.
But I ended up choosing social work. I knew I wanted to help people, but wasn't sure if I could handle it.
And so I did my internships with older adults and really enjoyed it, and I've been here ever since.
So you mentioned that you weren't sure if you were going to be able to handle it emotionally.
When did that change? And you were like, I have to do this.
I think it was just worth it. I think I just decided.
that it feels so natural. I knew that this is what I wanted to do. In some ways, I think it was a way
to honor my grandpa, but it just felt very natural. And I worked really hard in school. I worked
hard to make good grades, but I feel like I have a really high emotional intelligence. And so it was
really a gift to finally find a field where I could use that and social skills and just have fun.
And you say that there was part of that with your grandpa.
that inspired that. Do you feel like when you're doing your job in your day-to-day life,
are you thinking of him and the things that would help him or would have or things that you wish
you could have done with him that allows you to do what you do so well? Yeah, I think there's so
much that I wish I could ask him, knowing what I know now, the songs that we've learned or the
stories I've heard, what his life was like early on. I was only 18 or 19 when he passed. And so
I've grown so much and learned so much from the people here that I wish I could share as well.
I think he would love to have seen me here and met everyone that I care so much about.
But I do feel like I honor his legacy and I've even met people here that actually knew him.
So that was really special.
Was that a moment where you're like, this is where I'm meant to be.
This is what I'm meant to be doing when that happened?
Yeah, I think it was probably my second year here.
And my grandpa was from West Tennessee, like two hours from here in the middle of nowhere.
So it doesn't make any sense.
But I realized that they played football together.
Found an old yearbook.
And the whole first page was from this resident.
So they ended up being best friends.
It was such a small world.
But, yeah, I was able to learn some stories that I hadn't heard about my grandpa from someone
that had late stage Alzheimer's and happened to remember who he was.
was that because you also work very closely you've brought a program to apes garden that helps
Alzheimer's within the community outside of this building you see firsthand what that looks like
and then you have this moment with someone where one of their memories that they're having in the
late stage is of your grandfather what did that feel like i don't know in a way it felt very
surreal in full circle and my grandpa confided in me one time we were just going to lunch it was
quiet drive he always took back roads um but he admitted that his biggest fear was getting Alzheimer's
and he passed pretty suddenly but i think i'm grateful that i never had to see him suffer i'm grateful
that he didn't have to go through that but in some ways i think that it's almost like paying it for it i
I know that he would have been well taken care of.
Yeah, I guess that makes sense.
It does.
And you speak of these kind of emotional moments.
When you are in this job and you're here every day, you're in it and you're seeing all
these residents, what are the really cool moments that you're so happy to be part of?
And what are the really hard ones that maybe people don't think about?
Yeah.
I would say some of the hardest moments or the hardest parts of this job, I would say, would be grief
and then work-life balance.
Sometimes, I mean, there's seasons of grief, right?
There's seasons that are so much fun.
There's seasons where that loss is coming.
And there's moments where it's so unexpected
and it kind of catches the whole community off guard.
So just finding different ways to cope,
noticing the warning signs in myself
when you can feel that burnout coming or, yeah,
I'm always looking for different ways to work on that in myself.
And then work-life balance, I'm sure everyone feels
that but I think because this job is so people-oriented, it can really take a toll. I spend more time
with the people here than my own family or my own friends, and so how do you not take that home,
right? And it affects you. But I think being so relational is also the best part of the job.
And it might take a toll on me, but I know that I'm good at it. And they would sense it if I
pulled back. If this was just a paycheck, I don't think I would be making nearly as much of a
difference. Does it feel good when you are ending a day and you're just like, I feel like that
really mattered? Is that a lot of days for you in doing this job? Yes, I would say that's definitely
the best part that I can get up every day and leave every day and I don't have to wonder if I've made a
difference and or whether or not they're going to make a difference in my life. And you create these
really close relationships with so many of them. I feel like you get to have more relationships in
your life than most people because of this job. Does that ever stick out to you as you're thinking
about this job and the career that you've chosen? Yes. The relationship part is the best part. And what's
funny is when they know just as much about my life. Like I can catch myself and like, I don't know why I
told you that. They know all your secrets. How is your date or how is this? Or how are your parents?
Or they keep up with my nieces and nephews. They love to look at pictures. And it's a good reminder
that no matter what they're going through or why they're here, that they have just as much to
offer as they ever have. Do you use them as people to share advice because they have so much knowledge,
so much wisdom and things that they've been through? So when you're going through things,
do you ever be like, hey, I need some thoughts on this? Does that also help them?
stay incorporated really into the life outside of these walls and what's happening here?
Yeah, I think so.
And I primarily work with people with like younger onset or early stage Alzheimer's.
And so that's a big thing that I try to educate people on is they still have just as much
purpose and just as much to offer.
I think the best parts are when you're running around trying to get everything done on
your to-do list.
And they stop me and say, hey, are you okay?
Like what's going on?
There's still that emotional.
human connection where they can tell if I'm having a bad day and there's grace and it's not just a
business, it's a family. My coworkers are the same way and so it's kind of a, again, how would you
not get attached when you're spending every day with these people? It's the best part of the job.
And when you're looking at this job and you were working here and you decided to create this program,
which is so awesome of what you do, touch on the program a little bit before I ask you this question.
What is the program that you started?
And why was that such an important thing to start?
So I'm the community programs manager here,
and we have different day programs for different levels of people with dementia.
But I run the social support groups, the early stage, younger onset.
It's a couple days a week.
My job is to keep them as independent for as long as possible.
The things that people face in the early stages, you know,
maybe giving up your keys, the earliest signs.
What did you notice?
Maybe getting official diagnosis or having to sell your house.
Some people don't have any family left.
So being that community, that saves space.
But I think helping people process as much as they can early on and plan ahead makes
the rest of the journey a little easier.
And did you see this need for this as you were working in Aves Garden?
why did you feel it was so important for this type of program to exist?
I actually had a mentor that used to work here.
We met here and she left to go back to school,
but she was here and kind of got it off the ground.
It started as a grant-based program,
and they were like, it seems like we can't find anything else
for people with early-stage Alzheimer's and dementia.
Let's see if the need is out there.
Let's just try and get it off the ground,
and it went for a year grant-based,
and everyone wanted to stay on.
It was full, and that was probably back in 2018, and it's still going strong.
It survived.
I did it all online during COVID.
We went around and taught everyone how to use their computers, and we started a support
group for the families who were now full-time caregivers at home during a pandemic.
It's definitely something that I'm very, very proud to be a part of.
I feel like you're the one person that would have this knowledge to answer.
answer this in the space of dementia Alzheimer's.
What's something misunderstood that we maybe quite not see?
Maybe family members don't quite understand or know when this is starting to happen.
What is that that you're witnessing and be like, dang, I wish I could communicate this to
people to make whether the process easier or understanding what's happening to their loved one
better across the board.
This is open end in whichever direction you want to go.
but I feel like you're someone who has seen just about everything,
and you can speak to stuff that we might not understand.
I would say, especially in early stages,
just communicating with them directly.
I think there's a lot of hush, hush, behind the scenes,
you start to make plans without including them.
And I know that's not going to apply to people in later stages.
I know that usually.
but as much as they can be a part of, I think it's important.
And then a lot of things that I hear is just let me try.
You don't have to do everything for me.
If I can do it, let me do it.
And if you know that I can't, let me try.
Or you don't pointing out every time I repeat myself.
And a lot of that is just education.
And so I'll educate my group members too.
It's like, why don't you say, you can stop me if I've told you this,
or let me know if I've said this already.
you have to be prepared for the answer.
Just little things that can be really triggering for people.
But I think just helping them be as independent as possible.
What are some signs of Alzheimer's or dementia that maybe we don't know about?
Because the memory loss is the one that people most recognize.
Is there other things that people should be looking out for?
It's so different for everyone.
I think that's one thing that's challenging too.
I could put 100 people with the same exact diagnosis and it's going to be different for
everyone, which is another thing that's hard to grasp. But for some people, it might be speech.
For some people, it's word recall, or maybe their thoughts are totally fine, but you'll notice
that putting it to paper what they're thinking is hard or just certain decisions they make.
I would say the most recent person I talked to said that he probably noticed signs in his 40s,
but didn't notice it in himself.
I think that's hard to come to terms with,
but it was just little things like maybe getting lost
and not wanting to admit it.
There's a lot that people can hide,
but not with malicious intent just to be protective
or they're scared.
Yeah.
See, and this is why I wanted you to share that
because I think that's really important
for family members to understand
and just be paying attention a little bit.
What's something you've learned from all your experience in doing this job and the work that you do and spending time with as many of the senior living community as you have?
What's something you've learned from them?
Honestly, probably to never stop learning.
That they, that's probably something that we preach here that you can teach an old dog new tricks.
And we love doing new things here.
But they have so many stories and so many experiences and so much to offer.
And I love words.
I'm constantly writing down quotes and words of wisdom.
That kind of sticks with me.
It really resonates with me.
I definitely think that's one thing I've learned.
I get yelled at if I don't have plans on a weekend.
Every single day I have a woman that asks me,
why are you tired?
Did you stay out all night?
And I'll say no.
And she's like, well, why not?
You should be.
So I get in trouble if I'm not out drinking or hang out with friends.
They're just great influences in my life.
And you can't really put a price on it.
And if I could share something, I would really encourage our generation to get involved and pick a community or pick an older adult, a neighbor or something and just form a connection because I think isolation is really important to pay attention to.
And none of us are meant to be alone.
Community is very important.
Yeah.
Well, Mallory, we're about to wrap up.
Is there any last things that we didn't get to something you might want to share that is so important or on your heart?
I do feel like you have to be called to this field. So for those that are impats and just sweet and kind and called to this field, just being mindful of, again, of the signs of burnout. I'm always grateful to be here, but we do have to take care of ourselves. And whether it's a hobby or trips or however you choose to take care of yourself, just encouraging people that, I feel like we lose a lot of people that were born to do this because it gets so overwhelming. So we're so.
fast. And so just being protective of your heart and your mind and loving people and figuring out
how to take care of yourself in the process. Thank you so much, Mallory, for being here and
hanging out and sharing all your story. You're welcome. Thanks for having me. A win is a win.
A win is a win. I don't care which I'm saying. Yep, that's me, Cliver Taylor the 4th. You might
have seen the skits, the reactions, my journey from basketball to college football, or my career in
sports media. Well, somewhere along the way, this platform became bigger than I ever imagined.
And now I'm bringing all of that excitement to my brand new podcast, The Clifford Show.
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life, mental health, purpose, and even music. The Clifford Show isn't just a podcast. It's a space
For honest conversations, stories that don't always get told,
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There's two golden rules that any man should live by.
Rule one, never mess with a country girl.
You play stupid games, you get stupid prizes.
And Rule 2, never mess with her friends either.
We always say that trust your girlfriends.
I'm Anna Sinfield, and in this new season of the girlfriends...
Oh my God, this is the same man.
A group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific con artist.
I felt like I got hit by a truck.
I thought, how could this happen to me?
The cops didn't seem to care, so they take matters into their own hands.
I said, oh, hell no.
I vowed I will be his last target.
He's going to get what he deserves.
Listen to the girlfriends.
Trust me, babe.
On the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
I'm Ego Wodom.
My next guest, you know from Step Brothers Anchorman,
Saturday Night Live,
and the Big Money Players Network.
It's Will Ferrell.
Woo, woo, woo, woo.
My dad gave me the best advice ever.
I went and had lunch with them one day, and I was like,
and Dad, I think I want to really give this a shot.
I don't know what that means, but I just know the groundlings.
I'm working my way up through, and I know it's a place that come look for up and coming talent.
He said, if it was based solely on talent, I wouldn't worry about you, which is really sweet.
Yeah.
He goes, but there's so much luck involved.
And he's like, just give it a shot.
He goes, but if you ever reach a point where you're banging your head against the wall and it doesn't feel fun anymore, it's okay to quit.
If you saw it written down, it would not be an inspiration.
It would not be on a calendar of, you know, the cat.
Just hang in there.
Yeah, it would not be.
Right, it wouldn't be that.
There's a lot of luck.
Listen to Thanks, Dad, on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.
Valerie Snyder joins me right now.
She is somebody that I've worked with at Apes Garden for several years now.
She was my first coordinator as Rumi and I joined on.
Valerie, thanks for being here.
Thanks for having me. Are you scared, nervous, all the things? Absolutely. It's going to be great.
Thank you. You're a wonderful human, and I've known that from the day that I met you and all the work that we've done together.
And I'm really excited for you to share some of your stories. So tell us why you got into this line of work in your role here at Apes Garden.
I would say as a young girl, I was just comfortable with older adults or seniors.
and my sister and I would go and write cards and pass them out when we would go see my great aunt
at a nursing home. I was just always comfortable with gray hair and aging individuals. My grandmother,
my grandma Smith, would actually take me along to what was called Ruth Helms Prayer Group as a child,
and it was just this big group circle where all these ladies would sit around and pass around
cards and everyone would write a card to someone and it could be someone that was a shut-in that's not
getting out of the house or someone that had a surgery or wasn't feeling well and so i learned from a
very young age just the love of card writing from my grandmother and that was one thing that i think
nowadays has gone away very lost art yes so i just remember being a part of that group and i was a
kid and then everyone else was so much older and being okay with it
are comfortable. And fast forward, going into my adult years, I studied songwriting for a couple
years overseas, and I studied the Bible for a year in Florida. And I really wasn't sure what I wanted
to do and what was next for me. I ended up moving to Georgia, and I eventually had a few jobs that I
wasn't particularly interested in banking and some like administrative type of things. And the last
job that I had, I knew that I was not doing what I should be doing. And I was trying to figure out
how I could get to the point where I was working with seniors because I felt like that was where my
life was kind of going. So still working a job. I wasn't necessarily loving in Atlanta. I started,
I guess you kind of say booking or started contacting senior communities.
in the Atlanta area, and I would just go and sing and play for 30 minutes or an hour.
And it was there that I really fell in love with individuals with dementia and Alzheimer's.
I got to see a little closer up what kind of challenges they had and just who they were.
And so I really fell in love with that population.
Fast forward a few more years.
In 2018, my husband and I moved for him to pursue music, and I really wasn't sure.
what I was going to do for a job. I was at that time working with a small business that did
assisted living placement. So basically helping families find communities like Apes Garden for their
loved ones. So I did that for a year. I ended up working at another senior community,
but I really had heard about Apes Garden and really wanted to be here in a part of what they were doing.
and so I started in 2019 at the end of 2019 as a life engagement coordinator and was a part of the team that does all the engagement groups and I really learned a lot.
My background wouldn't have said you're going to be in front of people talking or teaching.
I would have never seen myself doing that.
I was pretty introverted and like I was a lot.
and like I was a banker for a long time.
And I just kind of was comfortable in other fields,
but I wouldn't say being in front of people was ever a comfortable thing.
Well, and I can speak to this.
When I come in here, I always see Valerie.
And she's in front of a group of older individuals.
And they're learning about Hawaii or they're talking about music with Dali Parton
or they're having a wine and cheese party.
I've witnessed you in so many, in front of so many large.
groups in here. It really is a drastic change for you. For sure. Yeah. And so I can say that this job's
really brought me out of myself, I would say. And so I was life engagement coordinator and then
volunteer coordinator for a couple years. And that's where when you started serving with Remy
through pet therapy, that's where we connected and met. And I loved that role. And a couple years later,
was able to take on the life engagement manager role.
So I oversee our life engagement team here at Apes Garden,
and we have so many activities and engagement groups happening throughout the day.
We do outings and all kinds of fun things.
We had a crawfish boil that a family sponsored last week,
a resident-led sale where we collected proceeds for a charity,
and there's just really a lot of things that I'm glad that I'm a part of here.
Why is it so important with the role that you have, which is so much about their life engagement
and making sure that they're enjoying their time here, why do you feel like this role is so important?
Because I see firsthand how important it is.
But why do you feel like this is something that really makes a difference for them being somewhere
that provides that opportunity?
Allowing them to feel purpose in their life and whether they've lost a spouse,
or are trying to figure out what's next that Abe's Garden a lot of times is that place for them
to feel community and be engaged with.
Something I also know that you told me about was that you wrote a song.
Speaking of being a songwriter, you wrote a song with one of the residents, and there was this
whole thing, and I need to hear that story because I know it, but I want everybody else to hear it.
We, through Leading Age, which is an organization that really advocates for aging adults,
they had asked us last year if we would partner with a local songwriter here in Nashville
and write a song. And so I thought, well, I haven't written a song in a long time,
but I know a great group of people that could help me do this. And along with the songwriter
and also individuals from our memory support, our club program was also a part of it.
We wrote a song called I Am Who I Am, and I really can't take it.
any credit for writing the song. I was just there and maybe I'd have an idea or two. Isn't that so
cool when you think about that and the fact that they were part of this song and to share their stories
through music, which is so impactful for them? What does that feel like when you get to be a part
of such a big part of their life now? Because I feel like that's a big memory for them now.
Yeah. Just the process of writing the song the first time with the songwriter and then she,
Kashana is her name.
Kashana came back the second time and she had recorded the song but we put background vocals to it
and sang along. It was really neat how just in the course of the months of working on the song,
the residents and club members would really remember the song. Anytime I would play it,
they would sing along, at least the chorus. I am who I am, you are who you are.
They recalled the song, which is amazing. If you know,
anyone that's dealing with dementia or Alzheimer's, and we'd see it a lot at Abe's Garden,
there might be like five minutes where you tell them something, and just within five minutes
or a short amount of time, they can't recall what just happened.
And so for them to recall the song and sing it whenever we would play it was really neat,
was really cool.
And I think there was pride.
I think that they took pride in being a part of that project.
We also got to sing the song at the leading age conference in October,
where they performed it in front of a few thousand people were there.
And it was just a really neat project to be a part of.
It's so cool.
And I love when you share that story because I think it's awesome that you're not just
doing the bare minimum, right? You could just throw on a movie and say life engagement and we're
happy. You're doing these things that are impactful every single day. Every time I come in here,
they're doing something new, something different, and they just feel like they're still getting
to experience their life. And I think that's what's so wonderful about you. And one of your highest
qualities, as I've witnessed, is patience. I have walked into many conversations, Rumi and I
have. And it's like an entirely different language. And I think about you every single day and you're
around this all the time. Why is patient so important in this? And why is it so helpful for them
as they're navigating? Because I've seen it and I can speak to you doing it. But you're the one
firsthand who witnesses and experiences this every day. Just what I have learned about,
dementia and this disease and as it progresses, there are certain behaviors that happen or there's
funny things do happen or they say funny things. And it's just really meeting them where they are
and just understanding that they may be having behaviors that they don't mean to have.
What are some of your favorite moments or memories from your job in getting to witness beyond
the song because the song is beautiful in itself? But you've been here a long time and doing a lot of
different roles. So I'm sure you have favorite moments. I think anything with music is a way to
kind of trigger their emotions. And I think that I have seen an array of motions from them.
Sometimes we'll just be listening to something. And then the next song we put on, it ends up turning
into a dance party and they want to get up and dance. And you're like, okay, let's, you know,
just letting them in some ways leading. Because they,
Yeah, I'm leading this group right now, or I'm in charge of this group, so I say.
But they really have a lot of say and have a lot of pull as far as where the group goes.
What are we going to talk about?
What's important to them?
And so I think some of the best moments have been around music and conversations with that.
And I think there was one time we were talking about what's the song, Rock Around the Clock.
We've heard the song forever, right?
Bill Haley in the comments.
and we've heard it and I just was just, I don't know, I wasn't trying to be silly.
I was just like, has anyone over here ever rocked around the clock?
That sounds crazy, you know?
And just like talked about it and somebody said, yeah, I've done that.
And I was like, I was just dying.
So music brings out so many emotions and also when you play some of the older songs that maybe
that they knew from their childhood or they were a teenager or a young 20-something,
these songs bring back memories to them.
You've been in this for a really long time
and you have done these different roles and stuff.
So advice for maybe somebody who's considering getting into this field
or thinking about doing the work that you do.
What would you say, or motivation or inspiration on any of those levels?
Yeah, I would second Mallory when she said that it is really a calling
if you want to get into this field.
just like I would say teaching small children is probably not for everyone.
And working with seniors may not be for everyone either,
but being in this world so much, 40 hours of my week,
I can't imagine why it wouldn't be fun for everyone because we have so much fun here.
But I would say if you're not sure what you would like to do with your life,
maybe volunteer at a community like Apes Garden
and spend some time with different populations,
whether it's kids or older adults and see if it's something that you might be interested in,
I think that we need more people to work with seniors.
I love that.
I think it's really great advice, and it's how I got involved in the community was just trying it out
and seeing Remy was the start, and then we waited into the waters and we loved it,
and it was so rewarding.
And the impact that even just a couple hours a month that we do,
is astronomical, just sitting in those rooms with them.
So the work that you guys do every day is really important.
Valerie, thank you for being here.
Thank you for what you do.
I'm happy you're here.
Well, thanks for asking Apes Garden to be a part of this podcast.
Always.
You guys have a special place in my heart.
A win is a win.
A win is a win.
I don't care which I'm saying.
Yep, that's me.
Clever Taylor the 4th.
You might have seen the skits, the reactions,
my journey from basketball to college football,
or my career in sports media.
Well, somewhere along the way, this platform became bigger than I ever imagined.
And now I'm bringing all of that excitement to my brand new podcast, The Clifford Show.
This is a place for raw, unfiltered conversations with some of your favorite athletes, creators,
and voices that not only deserve to be heard, but celebrated.
One week, I'll take you behind the scenes of the biggest moments in sports and entertainment,
and the next we'll talk about life, mental health, purpose, and even music.
The Clifford Show isn't just a podcast.
It's a space for honest conversations, stories that.
don't always get told, and for people who are chasing something bigger.
So, if you've ever supported me, or you're just chasing down a dream, this is right
what you need to be. Listen to The Clifford show on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
you get your podcast. And for more behind the scenes, follow at Clifford and at TikTok Podcast Network
on TikTok. There's two golden rules that any man should live by. Rule one, never mess with a
country girl. You play stupid games, you get stupid prizes.
And Rule 2, never mess with her friends either.
We always say that trust your girlfriends.
I'm Anna Sinfield, and in this new season of the girlfriends...
Oh my God, this is the same man.
A group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific con artist.
I felt like I got hit by a truck.
I thought, how could this happen to me?
The cops didn't seem to care.
So they take matters into their own hands.
I said, oh, hell no.
I vowed I will be his last target.
He's going to get what he deserves.
Listen to the girlfriends.
Trust me, babe.
On the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcast.
I'm Ego Wadam.
My next guest, you know from Step Brothers Anchorman,
Saturday Night Live,
and the Big Money Players Network,
it's Will Ferrell.
Woo, woo, woo, woo.
My dad gave me the best advice ever.
I went and had lunch.
with them one day and I was like and dad I think I want to really give this a shot I don't know what that
means but I just know the groundlings I'm working my way up through and I know it's a place they come
look for up and coming talent he said if it was based solely on talent I wouldn't worry about you
which is really sweet yeah he goes but there's so much luck involved and he's like just give it a shot
he goes but if you ever reach a point where you're banging your head against the wall and it doesn't
feel fun anymore it's okay to quit if you saw it written down
It would not be an inspiration.
It would not be on a calendar of, you know, the cat.
Just hang in there.
Yeah, it would not be.
Right, it wouldn't be that.
There's a lot of luck.
Listen to Thanks, Dad, on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
I'm joined by Chris right now.
I am so excited you're here and I hope you're not nervous anymore.
How are you feeling?
Feeling great.
Thanks for having me.
Thanks for being on to talk.
Now, Chris, share your title and your over.
of being at Abe's Garden. Yeah, my role is chief operating officer for Abes Garden community. I've
been here for 10 years. I started off as a continuous quality improvement coordinator, so assessing
how the quality of life is for the residents that live here. And then over time, I moved into
different roles. I did HR, some training, and then I was lucky enough to get put in a position like this
to help everybody out. So you've really seen all different stages of what
Apes Garden does, works with how it all operates.
Yeah.
What's been the craziest part of working in this field?
You see all these wild things.
What has that experience been like?
I think what's pretty impressive about it is in really difficult moments,
how everybody comes together.
And throughout my time here, stuff that we could have planned for
and couldn't have planned for came up.
And an example, I was on my honeymoon and the temperature dropped here
and sprinklers popped around the community,
and there was flooding of water and water more and more.
And when I got to the hotel, I pulled up the cameras,
and I saw so many people here helping out,
helping residents get to safe places,
cleaning up the water, setting up dinner and inconvenient places.
But in times like that where people would get overwhelmed,
you can see more and more people coming together
to really being able to help the situation.
Oh, yeah, I bet that was super rewarding, especially because you're away and you know you can't do anything.
Yeah.
And you're just hoping it all works out.
Yeah.
And I think from my position, that also makes me feel good about what we're doing here where I can go away on my honeymoon and know that the team here is able to manage whatever situation comes up, whether it was planned or not.
Yes.
And being around so much of that and seeing and witnessing so much, what are things that you've learned?
Maybe it's about yourself.
Maybe it's about the senior community.
what's been the biggest impact for you that you wish you could learn all over again?
I think the greatest thing I take away from working here or working with older adults is perspective
on life, met so many people that are younger, older adults, but also older, older adults,
and they're over the age of 100, and they have all these great perspectives about how things went
in their life, how they felt about it, things that they'd change or things that they wouldn't change.
And I think I started working with older adults when I was 20.
And so I got to learn from people who were over 100 at that age about what their life
experience was like.
And I've been able to take pieces of that and add it into my life and be able to prepare
for what might come up.
And yeah, I really get to learn from the people I work with.
Oh, that's so awesome.
They have so much wisdom to share.
And I've learned that just in my time here.
and you look at an experience like this, and you said you started doing this at 20.
Why did you get into this?
What was the reason and purpose behind it?
At one point, I thought I wanted to be a nurse, and I was in college, and things were not
going my way.
And so I dropped out, and I thought the next step would be to get certified as a nurse's
assistant.
And so I went through that program, and I started working in the nursing home.
And I went from teaching swimming lessons, like three to five-year-olds.
to working with people that were much older, and it was a completely different phase of their
life. And at first, it terrified me and the things that people were going through was pretty
difficult. But then over time, again, the perspective and the information that they can share
in their history really changed my feeling about working with older people. And I really ended up
enjoying it and to the point where I'm still doing it and loving it. Yeah. And what have you learned
about the older community that maybe you feel like gets misunderstood or we just don't quite have
the full perspective on because I feel like there's so much we were talking before this of not a lot
of people talk about senior living communities and what happens when they get in. It's just kind of
like they go and bye. Yeah. What's some things that you've learned about them that you wish maybe
people understood better? I think the power of their voice, their knowledge and their wisdom,
I think to your point, and what I know this a lot, even when I'm outside of here, is that people
move in here and then their world continues to isolate, and their voices become harder and
harder to get out, and maybe the families don't visit as much, or they don't see their grandkids or
kids as much.
And what I've learned from being here and during my time here is that the more that you can
talk and communicate and spend time and find ways for people to express themselves.
there's a whole bunch that they want to share and they just really need the outlet to do it like
something like this it's a pretty amazing thing and the longer i'm here there's just more and more stories
mallory and i before coming in were just going through one person after another about all the things
that we've learned from them or to pump ourselves up for the podcast we're quoting residents that have
lived here and i think all that kind of feeds into it and yeah they they have a lot to share and that's really
the biggest takeaway. Well, now I need to know some of the quotes. You're doing a great job and you're doing
it right now. That's real classic that we have. Lordy, Lordy, Rogers over 40. That one gets stuck in my head
quite a bit. Things like that. Those are kind of the regular ones that we use. But yeah,
everybody has their own story and there's something that you can talk about with. Every person that's here
every person that's lived here that can make you smile or give you a good laugh.
What do you feel like is your hardest moment that you've had to face while doing this job?
I don't know about the hardest moment.
I think overall where it gets challenging is that there are a lot of people here that we want
to help meet their needs.
Everybody has an idea of what they want when they move in here.
And there's the families that we want to help, please.
There's the people that live here.
They're the people that work here.
And then everybody else that visits and comes in and out.
And I think on the day-to-day basis, I think the challenge is helping to make that happen.
I think the positive part, and the reason why I like being here and being in a role like this,
is that we're surrounded by people that are trying to make those things happen.
And we have a board and CEO that really help.
support that and give us the opportunity to help everybody's needs as much as we can.
That's super tough.
You talk about families and you probably witness a lot of emotions when people bring their loved
ones here.
How do you navigate something like that?
Because it's such a big change that's happening, not just for the person who's coming
in here, but also the families.
Yeah.
What's that adjustment period like?
What's that experience?
It can take some time.
And the biggest thing is getting an understanding of what everybody's goals are.
And another tougher area to navigate is nobody really chooses to move into a community.
People want to live at home as much as possible.
But when they do move in here, what does a great day look like for them?
For the family, what is a great day look like for them?
And what can we do to help make that happen?
And really understanding everybody's life story, their history before coming in here.
And we get to know people at this one point of their life.
but the relationships that spouses, their kids, and the people that move in here have can be all
over the place. And we really just need to better understand everything that's going on. So while
they're here, we can help them have the best day possible. And I think that's so helpful for so
many people to understand because when it's all happening, life's just happening, right? And you're
just moving someone in and you're like, okay, we're good. It's happening. And you're not really
thinking about that aspect of what does this day-to-day look like. How can we be helpful in making sure
that their lives are enriched by this change.
And I think just hearing from you that you've seen a lot of that happen will be helpful for
people.
I want to ask you, too, because you have witnessed so much, what's like the craziest moment
you've had at Abe's Garden?
I do think the sprinkler situation was pretty crazy.
There were so many pipes that burst and the amount of water that came in.
And, yeah, everybody, yeah, pulling up the cameras and seeing all of that going on was
pretty wild. I think
this on the positive side, a good thing that happened
is we had the
Nashville Opera come here and they do the opera on wheels
and the first time
they came, they brought in a whole trailer and they opened up a
stage in our front parking lot
and we had residents that were sitting on their patios to watch.
We set up a whole area for people
to go outside and serve drinks and
on an impressive level you don't think something like that could happen but here he had professional
performers singing opera the hits of opera and then you had all these people out there to enjoy it
and things like that are surprising because you don't necessarily wake up thinking how am i or
how are we going to get opera here but what we are lucky enough to be in a place to have that happen
Mm-hmm. That's so cool. I know that probably meant so much to so many of them because you even hear their stories on doing this podcast and so many of them were influenced by music in so many ways. And that's a huge part of their life. So I can only imagine what that was like. And I also want to know, too, from your side, why do you feel it's so important to try and get more people into this line of work? Because you are an operating officer now. You've, you ever see employees, you see what this work looks like and why it's important. What would you tell people?
who are maybe looking potentially to get into something like this and why it might be necessary.
Yeah.
My personal perspective is before I thought I wanted to be a nurse.
I thought I wanted to be a teacher.
And I had always worked with kids.
And nothing ever seemed to really click.
And I liked doing it, but it wasn't what was driving me.
And then when I started working with older adults, it really changed my day.
and what I got to do is have a regular relationship with all the people that I met here.
And I know most people, when they go to school and they go to become a doctor,
they probably want to be a pediatrician if they do want to do therapy,
they want to work with kids or a social worker,
or you go to be a cook or a chef, you want to work in these really great restaurants.
We have all of that stuff here.
and we try and provide a setting where you can be as creative as you want in each of those different fields.
And when you work with older adults, the thing that appeals to me the most that I wish more people would know about getting in this industry is you can be very real with everybody and that there's not really much BS.
They want to know exactly what you're thinking.
They want to have a real conversation.
They want to be able to joke around and balance all of those things.
But I don't have to try and be a mentor for anybody.
I don't have to be a role model.
All I have to do is be a person that is listening to them and helping them meet their needs.
And it makes it, for me, I think, a lot easier and appealing than all these other different areas that you can get into.
I love that.
I feel like that's really important, especially.
as, you know, people are graduating and trying to figure out what their lives look like.
And maybe this is something that we're touching on that they might not have thought of.
I always like to end on its motivation, advice, or maybe something we didn't talk about
that you is really heavy on your heart and you want to make sure to share.
So the floor is kind of yours to share anything at this last moment.
Maybe we didn't get to.
Yeah, I would emphasize more looking into working with older adults.
I think there's stat after stat that shows our.
people over 65, the number of those people continues to grow and grow. The number of people that are
under 18 continues to become less and less. And there's this giant gap of people that need our help
as much as anybody else. And that there are all these really great positives and working with older
adults. And you get to really be able to have a pretty great day.
where in my role, I do the budgeting, I have meetings and those things like that,
but we get to go to a sounds game and we get to go for walks in the courtyard.
And they're just, my day has this whole range of things that what you would think of in this role
of just sitting at desk, crunching numbers or working on different strategies.
Those are fun, and that's why I like being in this role.
but I get to sprinkle in all these great one-on-one situations and group engagements.
The mock tales last week, like the residents and the car.
Oh, I've seen the wine and cheese parties too.
Yeah, that's it.
They have giant parties here.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
You get to mix in everything.
And that's really what's great about working with older adults and especially in senior living.
Oh, well, Chris, thank you so much for sharing and talking about your story.
It was great having you here.
Thanks for having me.
Appreciate it.
And next week and maybe the week following,
We'll see how long this goes for, but it's resident time. I'm going to be doing it in a few parts
because honestly there's just too much gold to put in one episode. The residents you'll meet
from Abe's Garden go by Brenda, Carol, Dave, Larry, Sandra, Shirley, and Ward. And they're going to
share their life stories. Any regrets they've had in life, the things they've accomplished, advice?
And of course, there's a whole lot of laughs along the way. And all of these humans are over 80 years
old. So they have expertise, knowledge, and wisdom.
then I cannot wait to share with you all. So do not miss it. Make sure you subscribe. And as always,
thank you for being here. I love you. Bye. A win is a win. A win is a win. I don't care what you're saying.
Yep, that's me, Cliver Taylor the 4th. You might have seen the skits, my basketball and college
football journey, or my career in sports media. Well, now I'm bringing all of that excitement to my
brand new podcast, The Cliver Show. This is a place for raw, unfills of conversations with athletes,
creators and voices that not only deserve to be heard, but celebrated.
So let's get to it.
Listen to The Clifford Show on the IHeard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.
And for more behind the scenes, follow at Clifford and at TikTok podcast network on TikTok.
When a group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific con artist, they take matters into their own hands.
I bowed. I will be his last target.
He is not going to get away with this.
He's going to get what he deserved.
We always say that trust your girlfriends.
Listen to the girlfriends.
Trust me, babe.
On the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
What's up, everyone?
I'm Ego Vodom.
My next guest, it's Will Ferrell.
My dad gave me the best advice ever.
He goes, just give it a shot.
But if you ever reach a point where you're banging your head against the wall and it doesn't feel fun anymore,
it's okay to quit. If you saw it written down, it would not be an inspiration. It would not be on
a calendar of, you know, the cat. Just hang in there. Yeah, it would not be. Right, it wouldn't be
that. There's a lot of luck. Yeah. Listen to Thanks Dad on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed human.
