The Bobby Bones Show - SORE LOSERS - How Did Lunchbox"s Kids Get Locked Inside a Store After Closing?

Episode Date: August 2, 2026

Lunchbox's family can't travel without mishaps along the way and his sister proves it's in their DNA with her wild adventure of trying to fly to Nashville for a visit. Travis, one of Sore Losers Nations own is celebrating becoming a Dad, and Ray lets everyone know how easy it is to be a parent because it's just someone you get to order around. Plus Lunchbox's nephew had to be rescued from a kid swing at the park and Lunchbox managed to get his kids locked inside the Country Music Hall of Fame. Also we breakdown former NFL quarterback Tony Romo's arrest video from his OWI in Wisconsin over the weekend. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What's up, fam? I'm sports journalist Ari Chambers. Hey, what's up, y'all? It's your girl, Sam J. And we're the host of Everyone Watches Women's Sports, a new podcast from Together and I Heart Women's Sports. We're breaking down the biggest headlines.

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We are coming at you live from Nashville, Tennessee. We are 90. Six days away from the Soar Losers Convention, 2007, brought to you by Freeland Chevrolet. We will have another convention in 2,000. 2008. We will have another convention in 2009, but then in 2030, we most likely will not have a convention in Nashville, Tennessee because of the Super Bowl in Nashville, Tennessee. What up, y'all? We are a spin-off podcast, The Soar Losers Podcast.

We are on the Bobby Bone Show. I'm a producer. Lunchbox is a co-host, and then we come on here and do nothing. Really do nothing. And we want to say that we are going to extend early Bird pricing to at least August 15th trying to nail down those add-ons. So yes, sore losers.com. You can payment plan. You can do all that. We are working hard to make sure that could, I mean, we thought we had it all lined up. We did something early for the first time in our lives, and it hadn't worked out.

So we apologize. But we're going to start the show. I don't know what sports we're going to talk about because there ain't crap going on. Well, I got to talk about my favorite radio show. Oh, I can't wait to hear it. The big show in a minute. Okay. We're going to do it live.

We are the one, two, three. So, losers. What up, everybody. I am Lunchbox. I know the most about sports. So I give me the sports facts. My sports opinions. Because I'm pretty much a sports genius.

Y'all is Sizan from the North Alpha male, also from the West, also from the South, Texas. and I live now northwest with Beezer, just outside of the city. It takes probably 15 minutes with no traffic. Indian Lake. We got two acres. They're mowed. We got shrubs. They're trimmed.

We got monkey grass. It's cut. And we got two kids at Vanderbilt. Justin should be checking on him, but he now lives at Gunn Lake on a dingy. He fishes with his brothers. They speak broken English. I had a conversation with them for 30 minutes. Had no idea what they were saying.

And I said to Justin, how have I never known? that your brothers are from Guatemala. You think you know everything about somebody until you don't. Over to you, Romo. I mean, lunchbox. We got an email that's very important to start out the show. Coaches, I'm a dad. My son was born July 22nd, 2026 in Cincinnati, Ohio.

He hasn't missed an episode yet. Love you guys. Keep up the great work. Soar Losers Nation for Life. That's from Travis. Hey, Travis, congratulations. Welcome to fatherhood. I mean, you are not getting any sleep right now,

but you're staring at that little thing going, oh my goodness. Welcome to the sore losers tribe. Yeah. I mean, we need to get sore losers onesies for the babies. Well, we probably should start with t-shirts. Yeah, for the sore losers nation. All I know is Beezer did just get a box of a ton of t-shirts that say,

yeah of my face what yeah they were gifted or they the warehouse didn't want them anymore they were deemed worthless oh so i'm like uh bayser are we going to be wearing my face every night you go to bed interesting because that needs a stop so she could just i mean we have shirts like coaches t-shirts all the the old merch sitting in my spare bedroom so if you need it you know what i mean if you want to ven mo me 15 bucks we can mail it to you whatever shirt size you want just email us we are the sore losers at gmail dot com but yeah hey travis welcome

to fatherhood dude i mean it is the craziest thing you're ever going to do it is wild it's exciting it's exhausting but it is amazing but also easy i mean i've had my nephew come to town nephews nieces and other nephews

and your niece saw me she saw you working she was working she didn't say hi she was shy probably and she didn't know it was you we're on the radio dude she didn't necessarily know your face from a wedding from eight years ago oh when was the last time she saw you i'm not sure they don't have social media okay and then probably a while but i mean i did i did rock the slides she goes yeah he was at playing with his kids and they tried to piece it together and i do believe my niece saw you yeah she did she definitely nailed the place i was at um and saw me going down

those slides. Let me tell you, those slides were whipping me around. They whipped, whoa, whoa, whoa. I mean, for little slides, for little kids, I mean, I'd come down and my feet would fly over the edge, man. I was hauling. Ray, they were whacking me. I was saying, though, with children, it's very

easy to be a parent. When the boomer comes into town, you really just tell him how it is, and I took him to work when I needed to. I told him when it was time to get up. The one thing that would be hard with parenthood is that everything's always dirty. And you always got to feed them.

And you got to, I guess if money's no object, because you also got to provide a life for them. But what I'm saying is, it's pretty easy being a parent. It's kind of cool because you get to just yell at somebody. I loved bossing boomer around. I'm like, hey, get the golf cart. Come pick me up on the back patio. I never get to say that to Bayer. He did what I wanted him to do.

He did tasks for us. Hey, boomer, we need you to help lift this. Come on. It's awesome having a kid. Yeah, it works that easy. It's like when, you know, at night and you're like, hey, go brush your teeth. I'm good. I need you to go brush your teeth.

I'm not going to brush my teeth tonight. They don't do what you say you want them to do. It's amazing how much refusal and denial and all that that they can do when you're just asking them to do a simple task. It is so infuriating. Hey, why don't you get up in bed? I just want to lay here for a minute. Yeah, but decide to go to bed. Why don't you get up in your bed?

all right and they go so slow that you want to pull your hair out because it's so infuriating but they do it because they said you said go to bed and they are going towards the bed oh my gosh kind of like soccer they go towards the goal but now you can go super slow up until the last second you should you should probably try what my dad did he would every Saturday 8 a.m. come home from work Raymond Robert Maria who just stand upstairs

one foot inside the door while we're trying to watch cartoons and we would have to run upstairs and see what he wanted see what jobs he had for us we never got to do the slow walk that sounds fun though yeah it's like my dad

would stand at the bottom of the airs lunch batters box sister I'm leaving for work what up everybody it's batters box here with the... Really? Really? You've got to announce you're going to work? Don't care. That's what he would do. So yeah. And I mean, right now, I mean, it's really hard because I have six kids in my house because my sister's here with her three kids. Oh, man. They're going all with every direction. Can't keep up. That's even better, though. They're entertaining themselves. They are entertaining themselves like crazy. But I mean, it's a... It may be in our DNA, my family about the travel and like how it doesn't go right. Because my sister,

her a week before coming here, guess what she did? Had a baby? No. Lost her driver's license. How do you do that? I don't know. She has no idea where she put it. So she has to go to the DMV and get a new driver's license and she does, but they

give her the paper copy and they're mailing her the hard copy, right? So she goes to the airport in Austin and goes to the security checkpoint. They're like, ah, yeah, paper copy. We're going to do some extra security measures. And she's like, okay. She's like, would you like to be patted down right here? Would you like to go in the hallway over there? We need to do that at the convention.

Pat downs? And my sister's like, well, I guess we'll do it right here because I got my three kids with me. I can't just leave them here, you know. And so lays patting her down. The boys are over there wrestling in the middle of the airport. She's like, guys, stop it. Stop it. And then Lade gets done patting her down.

Then opens the suitcase, dumps everything. out everything because she has a paper ID. Just because she has a paper ID, they go through her whole suitcase. Wah, wah, wah, wah. And then the guy goes, I'll let you put everything back in. Thanks. Really nice of you. Then the lady goes, all right, and one last step, we're going to go through some security questions. What country do you live in? And she says, okay, cool. And she goes, I'm going to name some addresses, name any of the ones that you've been associated with within the last 30 years. Oh my gosh. So she does that. She goes, now we're going to go over vehicles. If I say a vehicle that you have owned, say yes. Porsche. No. Bentley. No. Volvo. No. Accura. No.

A car. Yes. Then they go, okay, good, okay. Now I need to know Kathleen Jackson's birthday. Who's that? And my sister goes, I have to know my aunt's birthday. How many bodies? She's like, I have no idea. Can we do immediate family? Because that's my aunt.

I don't know her birthday. They go, okay, how about just the month? No chance. And my sister's like, I don't know. I have no. idea when her birthday is. And they're like, would you like to take a guess?

Yeah, you got an 8% chance. So my sister. You caught me. I'm on the United States most wanted list. I'm traveling state to stay kidnapping kids. I mean, how if you know your aunt's birthday, okay, then you're good to fly.

Like, what in the world kind of ruling is that? And so she finally just goes, uh, March? And she's like, she didn't say anything. She has no idea if she got it right or wrong because she has no idea our aunt's birthday. I do not know how you're supposed to know your aunt's birthday, but hilarious. Your co-worker's birthday? Um, let's see what month did he get mad? July, July 25th.

Thank you very much. So yeah, so then she gets on the plane. She's got her two boys and her daughter and the boys had never flown before and they're on there and they're talking to the flight attendant. And one of the boys goes, man, wouldn't it be cool if this plane crashed? Well, he's getting interviewed. My sister's like, stop, stop, you can't say that. And the flight attendant goes, don't worry, I have boys.

They're always saying cringe things that make it very awkward. I'm used to it. Don't worry. I have kids that aren't reared either. That aren't what? Has it reared, like, controlled? Ray, we're free range. I don't know, but then they make it.

They make it to town. I mean, so we did it. They got here. We're excited. And we have, the first night at our house was, what, Monday. And I thought we were going to entertain them, dude. They played doctor for hours. Well, you're set in life.

Oh, my gosh. Dude, we just sat there and they were just, one person was the receptionist. One person was the doctor, and you had to be a patient. you tell them what's wrong with you. So they were wrapping paper around their arms and with rubber bands holding it on. So they had broken arms, broken legs, broken noses. Did they fix your testicle? Ray, I was wrapped with a diaper.

No, they did not. They did not. And so they said, we did that for hours. Then we ate dinner. And we hung out for a little bit. Then they're going to go to bed. They're like, hey, guys, let's party all night. We're going to party all night.

they say we got to go to bed, but we'll just party. Because they're on summer break. They're on summer break. And so I'm like, whatever, guys, you want to do whatever in your room. You can do whatever you want to do in your room. Within 45 seconds of being horizontal, half of them were asleep. So they just say it, big talk, but they're obviously exhausted from the day. Yes.

And they wake up yesterday morning, and my sister told me that she heard them talking going, hey, guys, I know we didn't party last night and I really wanted to, but I was just kind of tired. So I fell asleep. But tonight, we are going to party. What's their definition of partying? I don't know. They think they're going to stay up all night. Juice boxes?

Yeah. So like, tonight we're going to party. You got to order them a pizza or something. So they can have it in their room? Yeah, like to add to the party. Hey, you guys want a party? I agree. And so then yesterday they went to the park while I was at work.

And there's a swing that you sit on. There's two people and you go back and forth. It's like a seesaw, but it's a swing. Only problem is it's really built for a parent to do it with their kid because it's like a baby seat, you know, that has the legs that to go through the holes on a playground. Ray, it's built for adults to creep. And so my sister's son, who is seven years old, he gets in the baby seat and my son gets on the other part and they rock, rock. And he's like, all right, I'm ready to get out. His legs were stuck in the baby seat.

And my sister couldn't get him out. and there's a YMCA right there where the playground is. She had to go into the YMCA and get an employee to come out and help her get him out of the seat. Lotion, ice, stuff like that. She said it was 20 minutes. He just stuck in the baseball swing. Well, she had a wide open summer day. Well, she's on vacation.

Dude, I want to be a parent. That sounds awesome. She's on vacation, man. You just like chill and your only object for the day is to get a kid out of a seat? well then we go home after work i go home meet them at the house we eat lunch and my niece wants to go to the country music hall of fame how old is she 40 9 if i have friends ever say that i'm like huh i didn't hear you no no i've never been billy wanted to do it on his bachelor trip no he did not he did they went to it one day while i was at work hung over his balls i was like

how is the country music Hall of Fame? I'm pretty sure I told you that. It was going to be a bust. Yeah, I'd never been. And so I was like, I don't know if it's going to be really fun for kids. But we can give it a shot. We can give it a shot. Zero percent fun for kids, I'm guessing.

And you would nail it 100%. It's just a bunch of stuffing glass. Oh, here's John Party's jockstrap. And there's a lot of people that you've never heard of. Johnny Cash's Thong. and they are really bored. I mean, within three minutes, my middle son goes,

all right, can we go to the pool now? What Wayland Jennings Cup? I mean, just ridiculous stuff like that. So we, they luckily had a sheet of paper where there was a scavenger hunt. You had to find certain things in the display case.

You mark it off. And if you get bingo, you get a prize at the end. At the country music Hall of Fame? Yes. That's actually a good idea. you. Dude, I got the exit.

I'll go find it. See y'all. I got the exit. I'll go find it. I still haven't been in that place. It was the first time I'd been. We lived here for 13 years. I really, I had no idea what it looked like.

I had no idea what it looked like inside. No clue. Oh, Maggie Moroni's bra. They do have one of Elvis's old cars in there. that was cool that's cool that was about it I mean

whatever not my not my but whatever so they do the scavenger hunt and before we go in they're all carrying

their water bottles and I tell my kids look guys we're gonna be inside they'll have a water fountain leave your water bottle in the car and my sister's kids still have theirs and she goes look I'm not going to carry them

we're going to be inside if you want to leave them in the car I don't want you to lose them they said all right we'll leave me in the car and she goes well I'm going to bring my water bottle this is foreshadowing and we get through the whole, you know, country music Hall of Fame.

They do the search, you know, they get a prize at the end. Then we go in the gift shop. And they want to buy something in the gift shop. So my sister lets them buy either a ducky or a guitar pick because they're a dollar each. Oh, a Jeep duck. No, it's a little, little, like hard duck.

I don't know if it says country music and Hall of Fame on it. I don't understand the significance. significance, but we did that. I'm like, all right, you guys want to go watch some live music? Let's go to Broadway. No, you didn't it. And the country music hall of Aang closes at 5 p.m. And it is 5 p.m.

And we walk out on the street. And my sister goes, we're walking, walking. We take about 10 steps out. And she goes, guys, I forgot my water bottle. Oh, my gosh. So we have to go. back into the gift shop and they have to radio. Yeah, we're looking for a water bottle.

It's pink and blue and it's a whatever brand. Oh, I thought it was a Desani. No. I was like, man, you guys are cheap. No. Let me go look and see if we can find it. She thinks she left it in the Taylor Swift exhibit. Thank you.

Oh, my gosh. I mean, they are shoeing people out of this gift shop. and we were sitting there waiting for a water bottle. The kids are playing with spinning tops, all this. And I was like, all right, I'm going to go to the bathroom. Oh, look at this. Taylor Swift drank out of an Ozarka. And it is connected to a hotel.

Yes, I'm aware. I used to live right there. I'm telling people so you understand what's about to happen. There's also a Mexican restaurant. There's also a bar. There's also a steakhouse. Yes. So I go to the bathroom and I go pee.

And I'm walking out of the bathroom and my sister's walking. walking into the women, she goes, ha, I got the water bottle, we're good. I'm like, all right. And I walk, you know, and I turn the corner and come back down the hallway. And they've closed the Country Music Hall of Fame. The kids are on the inside. What night at the museum? They're in the gift shop.

And they've closed the door. They've closed the plastic sliding door. It's I have to run up and I have to bang on. Were they yelling? No, the kids are laughing. And they're like, ha, ha, ha, you can't get in. I'm like, hey, hey. And the guy goes, sorry, we're closed.

Just knocking off the checklist. Yeah, what about the kids still in there? I'm like, I need the kids. And I need the kids. He goes, oh, let me go get a key. Let's go get the key. Unlock it and open the door. The sliding, like, plastic metal door, whatever.

Oh, my gosh. And so we get out of there and we go to Broadway. And I'll tell you all about Broadway right after this. Get Bell, Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus. From $94 a month, price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell, connection is everything. What's up, fam? I'm sports journalist Ari Chambers.

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Search Delivering Happiness with Nick Totoro. And listen now. So we go to, I don't even know which bar. The first bar on Broadway. Kane Browns. No. Garce. No, those are more than middle.

No. More than middle. Tutsies. Legends. We did go. Maybe it's legends. The first one on the corner right there. Layla's.

Layla's was there. I don't know which one. Roberts Western World. We did go in that one. It's got the boots all along. Yeah, we did go in that one. Kids thought that one was too loud. So kids can just go into them.

Yeah, if it's before seven, maybe, before eight, I don't know, but kids are allowed in. So we went into one and they watched the music and they loved it. Ah, woo-hoo. Yeah, woo-hoo. And then immediately, one wants to go eat. I'm hungry. I'm thirsty. I'm this. I'm that. I'm all right. We got to go. Try a different one. So you bar hopped with the kids. Yeah, we went to two. And we went into. You probably did Alan Jackson's if you're on that side of the street.

We went to Tutsies, the second one. And we're like, all right, here we go. And they were in the middle of a band change. What about mellow mushroom? No. Jelly rolls? You weren't lower broadway. No, we didn't go that far. And then they're like, we're hungry. Let's go eat. and Baby Box 2 is like, oh, Dad, can we go where they cook in front of you? Can we go to where they cook in front of you? Which is Habachi.

So I was like, yeah, all right. So we got to walk back to the car, drive to the Habachi place. And this is where it's great. We walk in, we're like, we got eight people for Habachi. Like, all right, they sit us right down. And there's these three college bros that came in right after us. And when they sit us all around the table and br-da-l-do. And the college dudes, they come and sit them at the same grill as us.

With the kids. Hey, man. How the, how the fuck was last night? Dude, bro, I'm so fucking hung over. Hey, bro, did you bag that fucking hottie? Dude, she was elite, bro. Yeah, dude. I fucking cooked, bro.

And so it's me or it's my sister, me, baby box three, my sister's daughter, then her son, then my middle son. than my sister's other son and baby box. Thank you for the seating chart. And the two broskeys, the three broskries, they don't want to sit by baby box. They just leave the seat empty and two of them sit down where the chair in between him,

another one just stands there. I'm like, I'm not sitting there. I'm just going to chill here, bro. I'm going to post up. He's like, I'm not sitting next to a kid. And they're just looking at each other. And they're just like, what the hell do we do? What?

And he said, I'm not. Bro, just throw me the shrimp up top, bro. Second dag, bro. You can throw it, bro. And one gets up to go to the bathroom, so the other dude sits in his chair. Vandy bros. Vandy bros 100%. And they're looking at each other like, dude, we got to get out of here.

We can't be sitting with these kids. So they text their bro in the bathroom. They said, we're out. We're not sitting this table. They get up and they freaking hightail it back to the front of the restaurant. I said, hey, sorry for scaring you off, guys. Can I already tell. The kids must have been well-behaved.

No, no, no. That's what the thing. The kids were freaking phenomenal. They were just sitting in their seats. They weren't even doing anything. Your best version of your kids is to the outside world's worst. They were like, what is this? They were just overwhelmed.

And also they hooked up last night. They probably got the Sunday scaries. They're a little worried their chick might be pregnant. They, and they obviously texted the bro in the bathroom. Because when he came out of the bathroom, he went straight to the front. He didn't even go back to the table. He knew that they were already at the front of the restaurant. So they hadn't ordered anything yet.

It's just that period where you sit down at first. And you wait for them to come to the table and take your drink order. And these dudes were like, not doing it. Not doing it. I'm with them. Not doing it with six freaking kids under 10 years old. We're not doing it. We're not out on the town to sit with a bunch of six-year-olds.

Bro, you just want to get McDonald's, bro. What about the king, bro? Bicken Burger King, bro. But I mean, these dudes, they were just like, No. The fact that they left a seat in between them and the kids because they didn't want to sit next to a kid. There are another 10 years removed from that. It was hysterical. And we do Habachi. Freaking fantastic. We got the D-level guy, though. He put no effort into his cooking. No effort. No effort. Like usually they do the like, look, egg roll and they make the egg roll and they flip shrimp up into their hat, all that stuff. And the volcanoes usually. really big, you know.

He literally did two pieces of onion for the volcano. Yeah. That is it. Yeah, you got to really make it erupt. He did not do any of that. He didn't do the choo-choo where the smoke's coming out. None of that. Fire, big flames. He did that, but that was it.

And he put no effort. He was done. Lickety split. Yeah, and it seems like because he's trying to get tipped, though. I don't know why he wouldn't show out a little bit. He figured, kids, who cares? But my whole thing is, you would

think you would want to be more entertaining because of kids. And they were just, and the kids don't know any better, but me as an adult, I can look around the room and see the other guys dominating. Oh, so you could, there was more people at this restaurant. Yes. There's multiple tables

where the habachi is going on. Sometimes you just get the dud. And my sister even goes, man, we got the low level one. I was like, yeah, no effort. She goes, I mean, look at the volcano over there. And the dude had it like, you know, six onion slices high. Steam coming out of it. Dude put no effort.

That looks like Vulcan R and all over there. And also the heart beating. What else do you have? The egg spinning. Yep. Stuff like that. And he did do the flip the rice into their mouth. Not a single one caught it.

I mean, you can do that in your kitchen. I know I could. It's what about the spinning of the spatulas? Yeah. Those things. You can do that. And then... Did he ever let somebody come behind there?

No. They let you do that in Dominican. But... They usually get me up there about nine deep. I'm like, I'm telling you, you don't want me next to these flames. And they're like, no, no, come on. Get up here. And I'm like, I'm dead serious.

I'm S-faced drunk. You don't want me up here doing this with knives and fire. Yeah, they didn't let them back there. But the guy that was cooking on the show gun, the whatever stove right behind us, like our chef was touching. They were butt to butt. That might have hindered him a little bit. He had this cool thing where it's like a dude standing there with his into clean.

He pulls it. It's like the guy's peeing. Dude, he shot at the kid's mouth. He wasn't even our dude. He was like the kids were like catching pee. Oh, he's the post guy. Yeah. And what is that?

Cleaning grease? That's just water. Oh. It's the kids were, I thought that was the funniest thing ever. Hey, fun trick, but why did you just squirt at my kid? Now, that was a little weird. They were getting squirted in.

Yes, that was a little. weird, but they were having the time of their life. You got to cater to the kids. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. So our guy was terrible. We went home. We FaceTime Granny because it was Granny's birthday. We sang happy birthday to you. Happy birthday

to you. Happy birthday, dear Granny. Happy birthday to you. Another trip around Mars, Granny. Yeah. So happy birthday to Granny. We celebrated her with a bowl of ice cream, cookies and cream. And then we were like, all right, guys, it's time to go to bed.

time to go to bed. They're like, we're going to party. We're going to party. And about 10 minutes later, I was like, hey, guys, they kept sneaking back out of the room. And I was like, I went in there and I was like, sorry, sorry, we don't want to get in trouble. We don't want to get in trouble. I was like, no, guys, I want you to party all night. But party in your room. Party in your room. That's it. If any older chicks come over, let me know. They were like, well, you know, he keeps yelling. We're scared. We're going to get in trouble. I was like, no, yell all you want, dude. Party. It is a party tonight. I want you staying up all night. And they said, okay, yes, let's party. And they close the door. And I go to bed. I'm in my room. Getting ready for

bed. I mean, maybe 15 minutes later, here comes baby box one and two. Dad, dad, the twins are trying to go to sleep. And I thought we agreed we were going to party. And they're telling us we got to be quiet because they want to go to sleep. I'm like, well, bud, you got to decide sometimes you know the party's over. But that we just started partying. We just started the party. I'm like, it's okay, man. Like you partied hard and I go to bed.

He goes, I said, you got a compromise or I got to come to, I got to come in there and I got to shut the whole party down. So you guys got to talk it out. So they ended up playing old maid and then they went to bed. I heard him go to bed like 10 minutes later. You always try to pull the all-nighter as a kid. It's nearly impossible. Yeah, it's hard, especially when you're nine to four years old.

Yeah, they are young to be partying like that. But they thought they were partying hard. And that's what we've been doing, man. That's been my week so far. We'll take a break. We'll come right back. Get Bell, Pure Fiber Internet with Crave Netflix and Disney Plus. From $94 a month, price guaranteed for two years on Internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit.

Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell, connection is everything. What's up, fam? I'm sports journalist Ari Chambers. Hey, what's up, y'all? It's your girl, Sam J. And we're the host of everyone watches women's sports, a new podcast from Together and I Heart Women's Sports.

Because let's be real. Women's sports is giving us way too much to talk about these days. So Kelsey Finler, she became the first female solo roer to go from California to Hawaii. My first thought is, like, what's up with the snacks? Like, what do we eat? The highlights, the rivalries, the breakout stars, the moments that take over your entire timeline. And the conversations that start during the game and somehow keep going all week.

Every week, we're breaking down the biggest stories across women's sports. Naomi Osaka showing out, she beat Sabalinka. Shout out to you, Naomi. You get the palm, Naomi. You get the palm for that. Because we're not just interested in what happened. We're interested in why everyone's talking about it. Because everyone watches women's sports.

Listen to everyone watches women's sports. on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Hey, Portlandia fans. Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here. You know us, or rather you know them. Tony and Candice, Nina and Lance, Spike, and yes, the chicken. We've played a lot of iconic characters over the years, but today we're showing up as ourselves to tell you about Podlandia,

AEO, rewatch, our brand new podcast. Each week, we'll revisit an episode of Portlandia from the very beginning, breaking down the sketches, exploring the backstories of our most iconic characters, revisiting the Portland locations you know and love and opening up about our creative process. How did any of this get made? Why do we think that was a good idea? We're ready to talk about it.

And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Chrysall, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more. Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvised, not just words, but a song, a melody. Well, I thought he was going to write.

I thought you were all going to write a song. I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia. Ayo rewatch on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is Chelsea Hanelor from Dear Chelsea. Every week, the news gets worse. The world gets crazier. And Yamanika is here to tell whoever's responsible, you're the problem.

If you come over here to play games, I'm a check you. Okay? If you do some in the news that don't sound good, I'm a plumbin. You join Yamanika Saunders as she breaks down the week's most problematic stories on her new podcast. You're the problem with Yamanika. Do you know I just found out who Sidney Sweeney was? New episodes weekly every Wednesday is part of my new network, the Dear Chelsea Network. If he got a bunch of women, then I should have a bunch of men.

Do better or do less so I don't have to do so much. So join Yamanika each episode as she answers one question. Who's the problem? I'm Yamanika. Listen to You're the problem with Yamanika on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Yeah, and then, uh... Man, that's rich, rich, though. Midday Hibachi? Not what midday?

Unplanned habachi, that's rich rich. No, no. No particular holiday habachi. That's rich, rich. No, no. We did it for Valentine's Day. Hey, Ray, can we go to this Habachi place I used to go to as a kid for Valentine's? Wednesday. I guess, sweetie. They had like paper hearts glued to the wall and crap.

It was like it's basically Habachi and they put up a couple construction paper hearts. Well, there were two Habachi grills. Full baby football players. Really? Yeah. Wow, that team's going to suck this year. I don't know like if they were the deepens of backs, the running backs, the wide receivers. I'm not really sure, but I'm pretty sure there was a coach with them, and I think he was buying them all dinner. Man, they are going to be slow out of the gates. Or they're going to be ripped up because they were eating some habotch.

I don't want my team eating piles of rice and a bunch of fried food. It's on the grill. Yeah. It's not fried. There's no way. There's got to be something healthier in today's day and age than habachi. There's definitely a lot of butter on it. Yeah.

Vandy. Who do they play first? Charlton State. Probably someone like that. Yeah, take Texas State over Vandy first game. Oh, I wonder if that quarterback was there. Probably was. Man. Jordan Carlton. Should have looked. Well, yeah, man. What's up with you?

Anything you want to talk about? Well, I was going to tell you my favorite podcast, The Big Show. Pat McAfee? Yeah. You can't take time off from these podcasts. So this is actually just for me to say, If you guys are a trucker driving across the country, I get it.

Sometimes you just get bored with us or annoyed with us. If you're a school teacher, if you are a tugboater, I get it. But you always got to keep listening because I took about eight months off of McAfee. Just one day, I said, I'm not going to do it. I actually got into by the beach with Cavalari and Stephen Coletti. It was like from 2022. What in the world? They were reviewing Laguna Beach.

It was fascinating to me to hear about how fake it was and how they said everything was staged. and they would actually explain how it was all set up and stuff. Interesting. Then it got very boring. But I digress. So McAfee, I haven't listened in eight months. I just went on to their Instagram.

One of the guys isn't there anymore. What? So I, today, the second I'm done with. What? What makes show? Dude, I got to do a deep dive. What happened to Boston Connor? Boston Connor leaves Macafee.

They show the desks and it's Darius Butler. You got hammered. Don't. And then the other dude. And they've scooted it over and just eliminated Boston Connor. What happened in eight months? Oh, Boston Connor has not left the Pat McAvey show. There you go.

So they just reorganized desks randomly on a Tuesday? If you saw a rumor that he left, it may be that he got married. Oh, time off. Yeah, maybe he's on his honeymoon. So like I said, guys, you do that with us. Next thing you're going to know, boomers on the show. Next thing you're going to know, Justin's a sidekick on the show. There's always changes with the podcast, so never even take a day off.

So for that, I was a little bit like, dang, what did I freaking miss out on? Straight up dude on the show isn't even there anymore. They got the desks all mismatched. I do find it interesting. What was that one guy that he emailed in? It's like, hey, I'm back listening after eight months. It's like, why, where have you been? Yeah, you really are not even the kid in marriage,

because in nine months you can, somebody could have a kid, but life just takes so many twists and turns. So that's like almost, not to get deep on you truckers, but when you guys are on the road, you come home. Man, your kids are all grown up. And what about parents that aren't in their kids' lives? They come home and they're like, man, you turn into a man. Holy crap.

So guys, don't take any time. from us. It's going to change. And I felt that firsthand. That was weird. Yeah. And you know what I watched this morning? I watched the Tony Romo video. Watched it as well. Dude. Oh my gosh. Can I just say? I started the whole podcast today by saying over to you Romo, because I assume that was your lead. Did you really? Yeah. And then I was going to make another joke, but I was like, I can't in this day and age. So I just let it go. But you didn't even pivot or transition into the perfect segue. Romo. Over to you, Romo, you big Romo. What? What?

It's kind of hard to hear you. I feel like I'm yelling at you. Like, how stupid? I can't get over this. I still don't know what side you're on. I'm curious. I don't know how drunk he didn't seem that drunk. He didn't. I don't know if he did a breathalizer, but he refused everything.

He tried to set his camera. Can I call my lawyer? No. Can I call my lawyer? No. So you're saying I can't call my lawyer? No. And, hey, yeah, you pass the gully.

What's a gully? The strips is in the middle of the road. Huh? She's like, Hey, you went over the Google law. He's like, the what? I'm going to give you some fields. What are fields?

I don't work in your department. Field sobrieties. Oh, you didn't say that. You said fields. Yeah. Said you're going to field me. What's a field? And then he gets out and he says,

starts getting ready. She goes, well, actually, we're on a bridge. We got to get to even ground. We're heading back to the precinct. I'm like, what in the world? The whole thing is comedy. I'm going to grandma and grandpas. What the?

And then Romo says, I'm going to do a couple stretches before we do these fields. And he's out there stretching out the back. He's doing calisthenics, man. Genius, Romo. Hey, if they're going to make you do these. awkward test. Get stretched out. Hey, you would never go into a game cold. You got to. He's great. I mean, any injuries? Well, not recently, but I mean, I was in the NFL.

I got a bad back, man. He's barefoot the whole time. So interesting. He was grounding. Yeah. Where was his shoes? Great question. I would bet he left the golf course. Barefoot. And flip flops. And you just take a flip flops off when you're driving. you don't want it to get stuck under the pedal. I don't know. It was really weird.

If he was drunk, drink drunk, get him off the road. Thank you for doing that. He didn't look drunk, though. He sure didn't look drunk. And man, if he wasn't drunk and he just had a drink, which you're allowed to do in every state in America, that's embarrassing to have that video all over the internet now of him barefoot with his hair blowing in the wind, bent over doing stretches.

But the interaction when he's in his car and they're yelling at each other because the traffic. It really is hard to hear because whoosh, whoosh, cars are flying by. And then she calls the breathalyzer like the pipe. He goes, what? And she goes, and then the other officer goes, it's called a breathalizer, stabilizer option. She's like, oh, I didn't know what that was. Why didn't she just call it the breathalyzer? He was perplexed.

There were five words. To the cop was a local Wisconsin colloquialism. To Romo, he was like, what is a gully? And she's like, it's the paint in the middle of the road. He said, he goes, she goes, you went over the colloquialant, the goalie. And he goes, I did what? Apparently the paint in the middle of the road's called the go to go. And he goes, what is that?

I mean and he goes, you said I went over the white galala and then she goes, there were two shooters in the bag and he goes, well, were they drank? And she goes, well, there were a couple shooters and he's like, yeah, but they weren't open.

You can have a couple shooters in your bag. You can transport alcohol. So my question. She found shooters in his backpack. Was he setting up the phone to record his so he had proof that he passed

or what? I know that or he was still talking to his lawyers. Damn lawyer wouldn't answer. He's in the driver's seat lawyer won't damn answer. Then he's out in the middle of the intersection lawyer still won't damn answer and he's trying to figure out, hey, do I have to take this test if I had one beer at the golf course?

Like this seems a little ridiculous, right? Also, even if you've had one beer and you're at a charity tournament, I would assume that you're at a charity tournament, they would provide a driver for you. Maybe I'm crazy. Wisconsin.

Maybe it's spread out. Maybe. I just like, God, it was going to Graham and Graham's place, man. Now, tell me again, you were leaving grandma and grandpas? No, no, no. I was at the golf course. Oh, that's when she changed. She was like, oh, I'll be right back.

And then she goes, but then he hit her back. Low-key flex. It was a Wisconsin amateur PGA event. Yeah. Just because I was at the golf course doesn't mean I was drinking. I'm an elite golfer. And what's crazy is earlier that day, I had seen him a video of some little kid at the golf course

and Romo was giving him quarterback lessons, like how to move his feet when he's dropping back to pass. And then like two hours later, it's like, Romo arrested for OWI. And I'm like, what? What? He was hammered when he was teaching that kid? Like, what in the world?

It was a fascinating video. His hair the whole time was blowing in the wind. It's all in his eyes. eyes. He's so confused. The Wisconsin cop is talking in accents. He doesn't even know what the names of these things are. The thing in the middle of the road is truly fascinating. The gul-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g. He's like, what? She goes, the paint in the middle of the road's called the g-g-g-g-g-g. What?

And I really had no idea that it was unstable to do those on the bridge. Yeah, she said uneven ground. She needed to get him to a precinct. I get it, you know, I would have said, it's kind of dangerous to do it up here because traffic is flying by. I get that. Never heard that that's uneven ground. When she first pulls him over, he goes, I didn't know that. You guys have speakers on the top of your cars? I guess she got on the speaker and was like, get over to your right.

Get over to your right. He was like, I had no idea that was you and the PA speaker. He goes, you were saying get over to the right? Okay. I mean, he's the, I've been pulled over in 40 years probably. He was very confused It was a very entertaining video But if he was drinking

Thank you for doing your job But man, it looked hilarious Where are you coming from? What? Then he asked the normal question He's like, did I Hey, and every student wants to know Did I pass the test?

He goes, did I pass the fields? And she didn't answer me And he goes, okay Like, I can't get a pass or fail He's defeated He's like, whatever man, all right, I'll just And then they have you stand on your foot. Dude, he was standing on his foot for 45 seconds. And then he fell and he's like,

okay, that was at least 10 seconds. I mean, what do you want me to do? He looks at it. Like, how many? He goes, I'm going to integrate this into my workout. That was a hell of a workout right there. He was like, I did tree pose perfectly. Like, I mean, we don't hold it this long in yoga. I mean, I don't know. And being in the precinct just look funny that they're in the little garage or whatever. And the whole time he's barefoot, like a barbarian in his hair is all over the place. And then she has him in the most unflattering position, I guess, in the back of the cop car.

Dude, he's got his legs spread. Because he's a big dude. His head's like in his crotch. And she's like, are you good? And he goes, I'm not comfortable, but yeah. I mean, his legs are just everywhere. Those seats are not meant for big

tall guys. Like, what did I bought a low point right there? Oh, man. They would have called, hey, we're going to need the patty wagon. This guy is 6 foot four. He's not going to fit in the back of the cruiser. That would have been bad. And he just asked a couple normal questions.

Can I call my lawyer? Get out of the car. I'm going to be back up. Mail refusing to exit the vehicle. It's like he wasn't being combative at all. He was just like. The one time he goes, I've been told not to do the breathalizer. Then she asked him again.

He goes, I've said it eight times. Like he was being nice. He's like, for the eighth time, I don't want to. do the breathalyzer. I mean, I did the fields. I crossed the gunggola. I'm going to Grams and Gramps house. Can I call Graham and Grandpa?

I got to tell him I'm going to be late. Like, you know what I mean? Poor Grum and Grandpa are sitting there going, where's Tony? And then he finally had to low-key flexes. Guys, I got a jet waiting on me. Do you care if I call the jet company? Like, I got, guys, if none of you all realize yet that I'm an NFL, star NFL quarterback at one point, I'm making like $100 million with CBS right now.

I'm the guy famous for going, I don't know, Jim. I mean, can I call the private jet company right now? You guys are like having me walk the donkey. I don't know, Sally. I got to go. I got to go call a preseason game, Sally. Are you sure you want to put me in there with those guys? Sally, I don't belong here.

You know what's happening this fall, dude. Oh. Oh, Jim. We know with that uneven ground. Oh, that looks like a bridge right there. He must have found some uneven ground. Oh. was he in a route?

No, I think he crossed the Gagola Gull. Well, Jim, a ball came out of his hand like a shoot. He was shooting it. No, not that kind of shooter, Jim. Oh, you guys have a great Wednesday. Well, Jim, we've all been there before. You know, I couldn't hear you, Jim. What?

What? That might have been the funniest part, how loud the traffic was, and he couldn't hear crap. She was yelling at him, and he's like, I'm being honest. I can't hear what you're saying. And she goes, I can't hear you either. I mean, the traffic is loud. They're screaming at each other. You don't realize how loud it is.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, man. Well, he crossed midfield or as some call it, the gungalajum. Jim. We know the name of that paint now. It's the gungalya. When she hit him with that word, he's like, I'm sorry, what? Oh, that's the name of the paint in the middle is the gungulah.

Oh, man. Are you willing to take the ZB-T-Y-T-Y-T-Y-T-Y? What's the Z-B-T-Y-T-Y-T-Y? Oh, and the other guy goes, it's the breathalyzer. Just call it the breathalyzer. Everybody knows what the breathalyzer is. Are you okay to take the L-E-N-V-O-T-2? What is that?

And the other cop just looks at him. He's like, it's the breathalyzer. Like, guys. Oh, man. What a phenomenal. A phenomenal video. I may have. I was left and right clicking on.

It was every different scenario. When he was first in his car, when he then gets out, when he goes back to the precinct barefoot, when he gets thrown in the car precinct barefoot, when he's calling the lawyer barefoot, it is a movie. I haven't seen movies at times that good. I mean, that's been better than Big Brother. I mean, that is fantastic. Did I pass the Fields?

She doesn't respond. He goes, okay. Like he just gives up It's like talking to my kids Dude hey Hey did you wash your hands Alright whatever I don't care

I don't care if you wash your hands Whatever guys She goes Just turn around He goes Are you gonna cuff me? Okay It just turns around

Like what else He's trying to get answers Can he have a lawyer Does he have to do this Are you gonna cuff me? Okay Oh man Have a great Wednesday

We're out She found a bomb in his bag and he goes, and she goes, there were a couple shooters. And he goes, oh, the airplane bottles, were they open? And she goes, no. And he's like, what are we doing? Did you find a roll of toilet paper in there too? Like, what? You find dude wipes?

Like, what? There's nothing wrong with him in your bag. They're not open. Were either of them drank? He's asking the most normal question. questions. Oh, maybe you kind of like Romo more,

except for if he was drunk, then I don't like it. But yeah. And hey, congratulations, Travis. Hopefully your son liked this episode. Oh, but tell him,

don't be like Romo. Get an Uber. Dude, and as an old man, you and me, he said, can I stretch before I do this? Now when I'm playing with the nephew,

I'm like, hey, give me five minutes. I got a stretch. to what Romo said. She wanted to put him through the fields. He's like, bad back. You guys care if I stretch? He's on the front of the cruiser doing leg raises.

He's holding on to the what is that? The grill guard or whatever. I don't know, Jim. These players are out there stretching. Can't knock that, Jim. Never can be too stretched out. It's always good to stretch before any activity. Including the field.

Oh, that's funny. That's really funny. Oh, man. We got to go, man. Oh, man. Lady freaking hated him. She was not a fan. But she's dealt with so many people that are annoying.

Yes. And I didn't think he was that annoying. He was friendly, and then she would just snap at him. Do you care if I call my lawyer? Get out of the car! So, no, I can't call my lawyer? Am I not allowed to call my lawyer? Oh, man.

All right, you got to end it, man. I've got to end it. Or else we're going to take a break and come back and talk about something else. Oh. Hey, Portlandia fans. Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here. The Dream of the 90s is alive in podcast form.

We're launching Podlandia AEO rewatch, our brand new podcast where we revisit every episode of Portlandia together, breaking down sketches, going deep on our iconic characters, and pulling back the curtain on how it all got made. And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guestrars, collaborators and friends, including director Jonathan Chrysall, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin,

legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more. Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvised, not just words, but a song. Well, I thought you were all going to write a song. I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia. A.O. Rewatch on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What's up, fam?

I'm sports journalist Ari Chambers. Hey, what's up, y'all? It's your girl, Sam Jay. And we're the host of Everyone Watches Women's Sports, a new podcast from Together and I Heart Women's Sports. We're breaking down the biggest headlines. Naomi Osaka, showing out. Shout out to you, Naomi.

The viral moments. I've been obsessed with Kashan Rock's boxing journey. She looks good. Her combos are swift. And the stories everyone's talking about across women's sports. Because everyone watches women's sports. Listen to everyone watches women's sports. On the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcast,

or wherever you get your podcast. You probably know me from NYPD Blue, The Longest Yard, or Spike Lee's Black Klansman. And on my new podcast, Delivering Happiness with Nick Tatourl, I deliver pizza to a new guest. I've shared a slice with everyone from Seth Rollins. What are you doing my belt? To Bill Burr. I don't think I've ever met somebody so exactly out of their mind as I am. And now, we even have more great guests coming up, including the great John Tuturo.

It's called Happiness, Delivering Happiness. And many, many more. Open your free High Heart Radio app. Search Delivering Happiness with Nick Tuttle. And listen now. I'm Jake Brennan, and on the Disgraceland podcast, I explore the wild lives of rock stars and unbelievable true crime stories from music history.

These are the stories you haven't heard, the kind you'll end up telling someone else. Like the time Paul McCartney spent in a notorious prison or the bizarre crime Lady Gaga is accused of, or that time Blondie's Debbie Harry, escaped Ted Bunny. Listen to disgrace land on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed human.