The Bobby Bones Show - SORE LOSERS - Why is it so Hard to Order a Pizza?

Episode Date: May 17, 2026

In this episode Ray relives the struggles he went through trying to order a pizza out in the county and how it almost ruined Mother's Day. Lunchbox went to play some golf on Friday but the people in the clubhouse tried to screw him over to keep him off the course. Plus there was an intense battle over the batting cage at the Dodgers game on Saturday and it all came down to who called DIBS first. Also when are dudes going to get it through their heads that your female doctors don't want to date their patients? We would appreciate no comments about Victor Wembanyama, his elbow, and the San Antonio Spurs losing last night. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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And for more, follow Timbo Slicelife-Live 12 in the TikTok podcast network on TikTok. Welcome in. Oh, dude, what a weekend. What a weekend I had. hopefully you had a lot of a great weekend I've got to what's on the menu

address ordering pizza in the country okay ordering pizza in the country I also ordered pizza in the city though I tried to play golf tell you all about the the trip to the old muny

are we talking about actual ordering pizza though yeah I ordered pizza some of these reality shows they're saying when the cast says hey, do you want to shower before we head out? They always say that before going to the clubs. Means I want to hook up. No, showering means skiing. Got it.

Got it. So we're talking about ordering pizza. No, ordering pizza. All right. Play golf. What else did I? What else do we have to talk about? I knew it.

I knew you golfed. If the sun's out and it's over 70, I know you start shaking. I do. I start getting an inch. I got to talk about a dude. and a physical therapist, the flirtation. You're the dude. No, no, not me.

Oh. Another dude. And last but not least, I had something else, but I forgot. We're not going to talk about the elbow herd around the world. That's old news. We don't care. Spurs lost. Congratulations.

We're moving on. What are you talking about? Yeah, they lost last night. We're not talking about it. We're moving on. So it was what, like one of those elbow crunching games or what? No, Wimby. No, no.

Oh, so the Spurs. Spurs lost from the elbow. The guy shot it from the corner. No, no, no, no. Very early on in the game, there was a little frustration by one of the best players in the world. And May he got reckless with his right elbow. And they said, have a good night. So he's done for the playoffs?

Well, I don't know about playoffs, but he was sent to the locker room that night. We don't need that in the game. I would be fine if he was out. If he's out the rest of the playoffs, I think the NBA needs to put it's their, Iron Fiss down. Oh, my other thing on the menu. Batting cage battle. Batting cage battle.

That was it. Oh, the guy from the rock station. Nope. No, no. That was my other thing. His name is also battle. Yeah, he does battle ground. Not to be confused with Battle of the Battle.

Batting Cage Battle. All right. Let's start the show, man. You know what? Friday, we never started the show. We're going to do it live. Wimby, I hope you had a good night off, man. We?

Oh, well, he was in the local, What was it, the Minnesota, St. Paul precinct? No, he was at the Mall of America. He wanted to go check that out, so he had to get out of the game early. We are the one, two, three. Soor losers. What up, everybody? I am lunchbox.

I know the most about sports. So I'll give you the sports facts, my sports opinions, because I'm pretty much a sports genius. Y'all, it's Sizzen. I'm from the north. I'm from the north side of Nashville with Bayer in the country. It's a beautiful weekend. 70 degrees. Grass looks good. The shrubs look good. I watered a little. Didn't really need to. It watered itself

last night. And it looks great. Just hanging out in the country all weekend, just admiring those 2.3-3-3 acres and a lot of new neighbors moving in. Duplexes got built. What do you know? Now we're a city no longer in the country. Over to you, coach. Coach, your Friday, man, it couldn't have been a nicer day. It was 73 degrees sunny. And I said, man, it'd be a great day to play golf. And then it hit me. Two of the three boys after school were going on to a friend's house. So that means they weren't going to be home until five or six o'clock at night. So I had plenty of time to go to the golf course. So you're fine with them staying at friends' houses. Yeah. My parents always wanted to in-house. What's, I mean, I don't understand. The point of having friends is to be

able to go to their house. They come to your house. That's why you have friends. There you go. And if there's a weekend, book it. Go make another friend. I don't care. It should be wide open as a parent once they get to that five, six range. It really should be. You should let your kids go have fun, experience, enjoy the time at their friend's house. And the coolest thing is, is when they go home with them after school. It feels like an adventure when you get to go with them. I remember saying, hey, mom, can AHA come over after school on Friday? I got to ask his mom. His mom would say, and she'd write a note and say, hey, AJ is going to ride the bus home. And it was like, oh, my gosh, it felt like so cool to have someone new on the bus. Oh, you have to tell the teacher. Yes. Or a note for the bus driver because the bus driver kind of knows who, what kids are on the bus. Yeah.

So they were going over to James's house. Can you stay the night at a girl's house? I did in like seventh grade at Lauren's house. Oh, can lunchbox stay the night in Lauren's bed? I mean, hows? Yeah, Lauren and Kathleen, those were the two. They were best friends, and we were really good friends with them. We'd have slumber parties over their house, six, seventh grade.

But elementary school, I don't think I spent the night at a girl's house in elementary school that I can think of. Anyway, back to the story. So James' mom was like, hey, can they come over after school? We're like, oh, absolutely. I was like, this is great. I can play golf. So get done with work on Friday, and I look, and there's a place north of town. They have tea times, like, it would be perfect.

I'd be getting there right at the tea time. But there's a course south of town. I hadn't played in like six, seven months. And I really like. Okay. I really like playing that course. It is funny how many times we say six, seven. It is.

In the English language. Yeah, and it's really died. I haven't seen any videos. I think it is dead. Okay. I don't think it's popular anymore. but we can keep it alive. What about 4-1?

Didn't really ever catch on. And so I was like, you know what? I'm going to drive to the course south of town. I'm going to be a walk-up. That's fine. I got all day to wait. And I drive up. I'm in the parking lot and I see another truck pull up.

I'm like, oh, I got to beat that sucker inside. Because if it's a wait list, I got to get my name on the wait list first. And I walk up to the counter and they're like, what can I do for you, sir? And I'm like, yeah, I'm just trying to play 8. walking up and they're like ah it's gonna be a minute we got some people on the list there's like four ahead of you what's your last name i said gible they said all right man we'll call you and why don't you put hollywood and then i turn around to walk out and they ask that guy what's up with you man we got two time he goes no same boat as him just trying to walk up play i don't have a boat and they're like uh what's your last name and he goes haul all right cool we'll call

you and it's your turn so i go down to the putting green i'm down on the putting green i'm down on the putting for like maybe 10 minutes. Pudding green is the worst. So boring. The driving range was closed. They were doing some work, irrigation, whatever. So you can't even warm up. And the speaker comes on and goes,

haul single to the pro shop. Hall single to the pro shop. You were ahead of him. I'm like, what? They must be taking him off the list. You don't think that he slipped him a Bitcoin. And I'm like, that's weird. Maybe they just wanted to make sure he was still there.

Like, you know, I don't know. Maybe they misspelled Hall. They wanted to make sure they spelled it right. And I'm like, because I was here ahead of that guy. And he comes walking about the clubhouse, back out of the clubhouse, gets in a golf cart, goes up to the starter. And I'm like, what? That doesn't seem right. Good old boys.

Let me go back inside and see what's going on here. So I go back in the old clubhouse. I say, hey, man. Hey, mister. I'm just checking. is that hall guy, he was here after me and you just called him and he's going off the number one T right now. They said, yeah, it's not really an exact science on how we determine who's going.

Well, I'm not a scientist. Good thing. I said, I said, well, there is no exact science. It's a laundry list. It's a pecking order. I was like, there doesn't need to be science involved. It's literally you go down. It's counting.

first person goes first second person goes second third person goes third I mean it's really pretty simple I am so tired of these munis and the muni directors also known as tour pros also known as

tour what are they called pro shop pro shop well no they're the pros yeah pros and I'm just like that's just weird I mean I'm I don't so I could come in 30 minutes and I could get ahead all these people

well you know you just it's just kind of a how it flows. What? Whatever you're saying doesn't make sense. All right, cool. I'm going to go back outside. I'm just going to say, I don't really understand it.

Thank you. I'll be right out there. I'd love to play, man, just whenever. So I wait about 30 minutes and the guy, starter stressed out because the 1120 tea time is not there yet. And there's two of them there, but the third one's not there. But the 1140s there.

so they're going to let the 1140 go ahead of the 1120 or they're going to force the 1120 to go off and their friend will just have to catch him. So is there a marshal as well? Yes. Or is the starter the marshal? The starter's the marshal. Okay. And there's just going back and forth, back and forth.

I'm there. 45 minutes. Still putting. Brutting is the worst unless you're a pup putt. I can't even bring myself to do the practice putting. If you do, you're a loser. I'm sorry. Unless you're on the PGA tour,

It's just such a lute. It's so boring. So boring. It's the worst thing on the goal. I'll chip. I'll just sit there and stare at birds before I just practice putting. Well, after about 30 minutes of practice putting, I just finally started staring at the birds. It's the worst.

I finally started staring at the birds, man. I was just like, I do not know what to do. Like, I am so bored. I just want to play golf because Harry's on a hole number three already when he got here after me and I specifically hurried into the clubhouse so I would be in front of him because I saw the guy pull in. What was that? He knew the guy? I don't know. I still, I wish I could have talked to Harry after the round, be like, hey man, like, did you give them a $10 tip or something? Like, how did you get ahead of me? It has to be around me, good old boys club. I know a lot of the munis are good

old boys clubs. My cousin can get any tea time. He can jump on any course. You can bring any booze he wants. Yeah. So I'm like, all right, cool. And then, so I go back in there and I just look at the list and I'm like, two down, right? And I'm like, gosh, man, I'm never going to get on. And I'm saying I got all day, but I've been waiting 40 minutes. I should have now in my head, I'm like, I made a bad decision. I should have gone to the course north of town where there was a tea time available and just played that course. I would have been on right when I got there. Yeah. But I'm okay because my name, my new name is Mr. Patience. I'm going to be patient.

Okay. And finally, I look at the list. I'm like, all right, and they get on the microphone, a young single, young single to the clubhouse, and young is right above me. And I'm like, dang it. Dang it. And then the lady chimes in from the pork missiles. She's grilling them.

She goes, I think he's the one that left. I'm pretty sure he left. She's got so little on her plate. She's also got her hand in the list. she's going to chime in with who she gets to go and who doesn't get to go. If I'm portmissle, Patty, I'm just chilling at the port missiles and watching the TV. I am trying to have no stress. I don't need to get involved in other drama.

I don't care who's on the list. Like, if you ask me about a guest on the Bobby Bone Show, don't know. I'm not security. Yeah. So then they get on there and they go, gibble. Oh, that's me right here, man. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah, you're going to be playing with Charlie.

all right, just tell the starter you're with Charlie. Okay, cool, man. And it says your tea time is going to be 1210. Cool. All right, man. So I go back outside and I'm waiting around. And then he walks up and he goes, hey, Patterson 4. Patterson 4.

You guys are the 1230 tea time? Well, let's just go ahead and send you off now. I'm like, whoa, whoa, wait, what? Wait, you were called up. I'm 1210. They're 1230. Why are we sending them all? Dude, you're messing now over an hour of just,

standing there. Yeah, well, I did putt for a little bit. And I'm like, I'm like, what? He goes, yeah, we, why don't you guys just go ahead and go now? I'm like, well, that doesn't make sense. Like, they just skip me now. Another tea time has skipped. This is why I hate golf.

The fun of golf when you hit it pure and this, this is why I'll never go to a course again. And I'm just like, okay, I'm not going to get annoyed. And then he tells another tea time, hey, you guys are 12. 1240. You're just going to go to the box after them. What about you? And I walk up and I show them my receipt.

I said, hey, man, I got 1210. Like, why, they're going ahead of me. And he goes, yeah, if there are three and foursums, we're just setting them off. Like shotgun. What? What? If there are three and foursomes, you're just sitting them off. Okay. And he goes, you might want to go check with the clubhouse to see if you're still good for that tea time.

Wait, so you're just standing there and people are just going in front of you. And the marshal's holding you up, though. Yeah. Dude, you can't go back to the clubhouse, though. That dude hates you. Oh, no, I put my tail between my legs. I walk back into the clubhouse. I sit, and then he goes, what can I do for you, sir?

And I was like, yeah, yeah, you just saw me at last 45 minutes. You just checked me in 15 minutes ago, and you have on my receipt. You wrote 1210 in Sharpie. And I showed it to the marshal down there, the starter, and he said, I don't know. I need to go check with the clubhouse and see if I'm still good for that tea time. And he goes, yeah, you're still good. Just tell him you're going to play with Charlie. So now you're relaying that message?

So I go back down there and he goes, hey, man, I'm supposed to play with Charlie. He goes, okay, yeah, we'll get you off here in about 20. What? So then I'm like, no, I'm just going to walk down to the tea. So I just go get in line at the tea box. No one else is skipping me. I'm not doing this. I don't know who Charlie is.

Charlie in the chocolate factory. I don't know what we're doing here. Does the Marshall have a gun? Does not have a gun, but he has a red flag on his cart. And I'm walking. Because it's a beautiful day. I'm going to walk the course. Here comes this older gentleman in a golf cart and he gets out.

And I was like, hey, man, you Charlie? And he goes, yeah. So, well, I'm playing with you. He goes, okay. Great personality. Like, cool, man. And he starts talking to Marshall, their friends. Oh, how you've been?

Man, how's the old lady? I've been retired now for five years still collecting on that Roth IRA. And Charlie looks at me, he goes, guess how old I am? I don't know. Don't care? I don't know. He goes, no, give it an honest guest. What are you, a woman?

70? I don't know. I was like, all right, 71. And he goes, add 17 years to that. Great. You're 88. Couldn't have told. Dude, the fact that he was 88 and he was moving the way he was, I was like, okay,

I'm super impressed with you, Charles. Okay. So it's worth doing that. Like the guessing game, like at first I was really annoyed. And I've been annoyed because what has happened trying to get a tea time, trying to get on the number one T box. But that, like him moving around and swinging a golf club at 88, I was like, damn impressive, Charlie.

Whatever you're doing, whatever you're eating your diet, can you please fill me in on it? That tells us we can play this game until we're 88. Then his another guy comes up and the marshal goes, oh man, watch him. He's like a scratch golfer. I'm like, oh, great, man. Right. Just what I want.

I want to play with Scratch Golf or to make me feel really good about myself. Old Scratchy at the Muni, sure. Yeah. And then another one of their buddies comes up just off a plane from Orlando. He got in at 5 a.m. He was there for work. And so his back's really tight. And he's like, man, I just straight from the car to the T.

Don't know if that's really a good idea. And he's trying to stretch it out. And we play, and it's great. Really nice guys. Charlie, the old guy, he's not really talkative to me. It's cool. And I'm not playing very well. Very frustrating.

Don't know what's wrong in my golf game. After whooping batters boxes rear in last weekend, I was not hitting it well. Let's just put it this way. One hole. I hit it to the right and then duff it and then hit it to the right of the green, then chip it over the green into the sand, out of the sand back over the green. They packed up their clubs and walked to the next tee box. Oh, they left you?

They left me. that's too sloppy for them I guess so they weren't going to wait for me to finish the hole I guess that's awkward it was so awkward and you paid you don't want to pick up your ball

oh I'm not picking up hey but then I'm feeling the rush like oh my God I got to hurry and catch up with him but when you're hitting it over the green and stuff I mean you just can't do that dude I mean I literally you can't son J. Mett off the grandstand and use it as a backstop

that was awesome and then it came back in the same back in the sand. But literally I hit it to the right and hit on the side of the hill and bounce over the cart pass. So I chip it and I mean, chip it more like freaking bladed across the green into the sand. All right. Hit it out of the sand, get too much of the ball over the green. Okay.

Yeah, I would have picked up. You got to. Like, I'm sorry. And that's at the point they leave. They leave. They say, oh, we're out. They are out. So I go back over and I'm like, man, I got a hurry.

Chip straight over the green. Oh, my gosh. What did you get a snowman? I got a nine. I got a nine. So then I chip it up and I two putt it and then I go to the next T-box. And one guy was playing the whites. Charlie was playing the Reds.

And me and the other guy were playing the Blues. And because it was only 6,400 yards. It was really short if you play the whites. It's a shorter. And so I step up to the blue and the guy goes, oh, oh, sorry about that. The guy in front of me goes, I forgot. I forgot. I didn't realize you hadn't teed off yet.

What do you mean? you don't realize that and teed off left. You left me at the other freaking green, man. You know I have a teed off. You loved me in the dust. You tried to ditch me. You tried to say, you looked at your friends and said, guys, if we hurry, we ain't got to play with this jackass anymore.

Please tell me you had a decent tee shot. Because if you went left or right, it's so awkward. No, I hit it so high in the air, brought rain. Oh, is it a pop-up? And we went about 100 yards. These dudes are about to kill you. they were ready to kill me. See, and then you're rushing yourself.

You didn't work on your game. It was a bad day at the Muni, man. See? Shot that 101. It was awful. It was tough. It was tough. We got to take a break, dude.

We got to take a break. But yeah, man. Hey, that's my day at the golf course. And we'll be right back. Pride is like love. You feel it in your heart. IR Radio. Canada's number one streaming app for radio and podcasts,

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As we get ready for the Men's World Cup this summer, listen to American Football as part of the MyCultura podcast network, available on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, listen up. Jonas Brothers here. Our podcast is called Hey Jonas. We're here, since everyone has a podcast, we wanted to as well.

And we've had some incredible guests so far. And now our good friend, Nile Horn, is joining the show. How's it going, boys? Hey, Niall. It's the same thing with Slow Hands. Slow Hands is not about anything else, really, is it? You know, or taste so good can't be about food. You do the same, Nick, with some of the stuff that you've done.

You too, Joe. Drop what you're doing and listen to Hey Jonas on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your podcasts. All right, man, you want ordering a pizza? I'd love to hear ordering some pizza, man. So, Beezer's out. It's Mother's Day. So I guess the present to my mother-in-law is me just not being around.

What do you mean, Bazer's out? She's with her mom and dad at their house. You don't go hang out? No, they just wanted to, she was actually planning their trip. And then her mom kids around and says, no, no. I go, hey, when do you want me to bring you lunch over? And she goes, he's not seriously coming, is he? she's being funny

but she's not a big time people person she loves my company but I don't think she wants me to come chill on the couch man spreading for five hours so my gift to her is I'm just not there so I'm starving there's no food at the crib I'm gonna order some pizzas

so I call the pizza in pub and I go hey how's he going yeah Ray yeah I'm gonna get two small cheese pizzas and add jalapinos and extra cheese Did you get my order?

Oh, let me see here. Did you say two pizzas? Yeah, yep. Two pizzas, cheese, small, and then jalapenos and extra cheese. Hold on. So you're ordering two of the exact same pizzas. I just love how the crust is on the smalls. Once it gets to medium and large, it's thicker crust.

Thank you. I was trying to figure out I'm like, the science behind that. Yeah, it makes no sense, but I've, gotten it to a science. Thank you. All right. Let's see here. We got two small cheese pizzas, extra cheese. And was there another ingredient on there? Third time I've said it.

Yep. The jalapinos. All righty. Am I good? Let me just see one more time. So you got two small pizza cheese, small pizzas. You got the jalapinas and you got the extra cheese. All right. Will there be anything else?

Nope. Nope. All right. Do you want any soda pop? Any exercise or anything like that? Let's get some ranch on that. All right. So let's just go ahead and verify this order.

Two small cheese pizzas, jalapinas and extra cheese. And now, was there another thing you wanted? Yep. Just, I don't know if you wanted me to add, say it again, but the ranch. Did you have that on there? Oh, the ranch. and the ranch. Okay, we got two small cheese pizzas, jalapinos, and the extra cheese on it, and then we got the

ranch as the side. We'll have two of those for you. We got it. We're on. Now, do you want some soda pop with that? Nope. Like I said, got stuff at the crib I can drink on. So yeah, just those cheese pizzas.

All right, you don't want any of our bread sticks. You don't want any of our dessert options, all kinds. No. Just those two small cheese pizzas. All right. Am I good? Oh, I didn't even ask you.

Are you eating it here or is that takeout or how is that? I'm fucking coming there and taking it out. Why would I order a pizza and then come there. eat it. The fuck are you talking about? Yeah. Yeah. Yep.

I will just be coming there and picking it up and heading out. Alrighty. It'll be $29. And it is going to be two small cheese pizzas, extra cheese, and the two ranches. Sir, I'm sorry. I didn't hear you say jalapinas.

You're right. Halapinas. added as well. Two small cheese pizzas, jalapinas, and we got the extra cheese and those two things of ranch on there for you. All right, you're all set. $29. We will see you in about 15 minutes. All right. Perfect. Thank you very much. Oh, hold on one second. Now, did you want those ranches in the box or separately? You know what? Put them wherever the fuck you want to put them. I've been on the phone for 15 minutes ordering these two cheese pizzas. I'm almost actually at your business.

I'm going to see you in person and I can actually just tell you the order. Good gosh. Hallelujah. All right. You're all set. We will see you in 15 minutes. You'll actually see me in about a minute because I'm at your door right now. This is taking so long to come and get these cheese beans.

on my day off from my wife and mother-in-law and I was going to be by myself, but now I'll just sit in the parking lot because I missed timed it because you're so old and you're in the country. All right. We will see you in 15 minutes. Thanks for calling pizza and pub. Good. They get it right?

They got it right. They got it right. But I hope I did it justice. He repeated two small cheese pizzas. six or seven times. That's incredible. You sounded just like him. I mean, I already know.

I mean, I know when I call pizza and pub, that is the exact guy I get. I totally get it. If I had a dollar for every time he either forgot the jalapagias or the ranches, what is happening? Like, the first time I say it, write it down. Even if you have to repeat it one more time, if you wrote it down, there's no reason.

explainable explanation as to why you need to repeat to somebody on the phone that many times. He just didn't write it down. He was going from the Noggin and the Noggin wasn't there. It wasn't working. I didn't expect that to take a whole segment. I went to order pizza this weekend because the Astros, we were wrapping up our season. You know, the T-ball Titans of America, the Houston Astros. I wore that orange jersey proud all season long and 7.

Saturday our game was at 225 and we were wrapping it up at 310 and to be followed immediately, immediately over at the playground with the team party. And I said, man, we are going to have pizzas. And I would love all the families to stick around and come enjoy it and have some fun with each other. And so I went online and I tried to order some pizzas. And it's like specialty pizza, build your own. They don't just have a section where it's cheese. pizza. Like I have to go in and click cheese. Do you want extra cheese? No. Why not just have one like

cheese, pepperoni, sausage, and then you have your, you know, your basic pizzas and your specialties. It was so annoying. So then I get to the end. Okay, so you're, you would just want three clicks, whereas this is making you click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, for every pizza. Yeah, what sauce do you want? No, no, I just want the normal sauce. I just want to put just a cheese pizza. You know how you make a normal cheese pizza? Could I just click on cheese pizza? Three of add to cart. Got it. So I finally had to go build my own and I do it.

And I do pepperoni. I do cheese. And I do Hawaiian, right? So I get to my cart and it says four large pizzas, four large pepperoni pizzas and two large Hawaiian pizzas. So the four up at the top, it doesn't say cheese. It just says four large pizzas. So I'm like, did I do it wrong?

because the picture has mushrooms and sausage, and I'm like, no, no, that's not what I want. Please tell me the picture, so maybe it doesn't match up with what you actually ordered. The other two did. And I was like, what in the world? I was like, I'm just going to take a chance. And I hit it. And I said, deliver it to the playground. And I gave him the address.

And I was like, there's no way this is going to work. Hey, man, did you order pizza to the playground? It's pretty rad. Harley, bro. And we are in the last. inning of T-ball and I look up and the pizza has arrived. Good timing. Perfectly. It showed up.

One of the dads who is a tall human had all 10 pizzas stacked up under his chin. He was, needed some of to sop up that booze. And he was waddling over to the picnic table to set up for the team party and the Astros partied like it was 1999, man. They partied hard. 10 pizzas though made at the same time how are they even able to do that with the dude that is another great question how do they make 10 pizzas all at the same time i would imagine stay hot and get them to you and how do you fit 10 pizzas in your car that's a lot of pizza that's a lot of pizzas in their bigger boxes i can yeah sometimes you have two boxes it's a little tough but the oven the fact that they can make 10 at the same time is pretty impressive i figured they could only handle about four or five And maybe they did five and then they just stuck him in the heater and then they did five and they put them in the car and they brought them. I don't know how they did it, but the pizza was still hot.

The pizza was good. The kids were happy. The parents were happy. And I ordered 10 pizzas and we only had a pizza and a half left. So it was a good estimation because you don't want to be short on the team party. Should have gone with 6-7. No, that would have been not enough. That had been one short.

Yeah. And they had cook. People brought cookies. Those got devoured. They brought snacks. By the birds and bums. Cheez-its and all that, those got destroyed. They brought juice boxes.

Those got destroyed. And we wrapped up our season and we clapped it out. And we said, have a great day, Astros. We'll see you next season. Any of the parents sneak a couple beers in the bottom of the cooler? Not that I saw. Oh, son, don't dig that deep. Boxes are on the top.

You know what they were drinking. Those dirty sodas that the Mormon wives have made popular. It's like a diet. Dr. Pepper. Yeah, and then cream. And then cream that you put in your coffee. Yeah, because they don't drink, the Mormons. Correct.

So they have all these seven brews up by me or these caffeinated drinks with all kinds of different flavors and coffee. Those are popular now. So they get creative with their sodas and their coffees. Yes. Actually, maybe they can't even have caffeine or coffee. They have to have caffeine. No, some of them don't do caffeine. So they get all creative with their sodas.

That's why they come. But soda has caffeine. Some of it doesn't. Caffeinate, decaf. There's no decaf soda. I don't know. There's decaf coffee. No crap.

I know that. There's no decapped Dr. Pepper. So then, yeah, I guess they can have a little bit of caffeinated stuff. I guess. I don't know. But they were, hey, the women, they were loving. They're like, oh, my gosh, this is so good. There might have been a little add-on captain in that one.

Oh, they were saying, oh, you know what, it would taste good with this would be rum or this or that. Dodd would have put a Grand Monnier on top. Dodd, how did you know that'd be good? Slater, you think I haven't had that before? We'll take a break. We'll be right back. Happy Pride Month, Toronto. Pride is an opportunity for you to create your own space, to celebrate your existence. Iheart Radio is proud to be an official sponsor of Pride Toronto Festival, and we won't stop.

Celebrate Pride. Turn up the love and listen to IHeart Pride Canada. your 24-7 radio stream and the only playlist you need for your Toronto Pride celebrations. Pride is so great because it gives a whole bunch of people this visibility that they've never had before. We have a ton to celebrate Toronto. Happy Pride. Iheart Radio. Hey, I'm Hoda Kotby, host of the podcast, Joy 101 with Hoda Kotby. Together, we're going to have meaningful conversations with the world's most fascinating people. Like when actress Olivia Munn shared how she overcame fierce health challenges.

I've gone through breast cancer and then helped my mother through breast cancer, and that was more difficult. There's a lot of people who understand postpartner depression. I was not prepared for postpartum anxiety. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotby on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I love the sounds, the buzzing from the stadium, the chanting from the fans, the announcers calling the place soccer, football, at home. Why do I watch the World Cup? That's like asking me, why do I breed? I inherited that fandom from my mom.

I like watching it with my dad. It's a connecting force. From Futuro Studios, I'm Fernanda Chavari, and this is American Football, a show about soccer culture in the U.S. and its underdog roots. We go beyond the game to the people and the stories that make it great. A soccer game is a festival. It's not just a game. It's your culture.

I took an elbow to my head, which cracked my skull. It is an American game. The Brazilians don't like hearing that, though. Are they the only ones that don't like that? Nobody likes that. As we get ready for the Men's World Cup this summer, listen to American Football as part of the MyCultura podcast network, available on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, listen up. The Jonas Brothers here. Our podcast is called, Hey Jonas. But I figure since everyone has a podcast, we want it to as well. And we've had some incredible guests so far. And now our good friend, Nile Horn, is joining the show. How's it going, boys?

Hey, Niall. It's the same thing with Slow Hands. Slow Hands is not about anything else, really, is it? You know, or taste so good can be about food. You do the same, Nick, with some of the stuff that you've done. You too, Joe. Drop what you're doing and listen to Hey Jonas on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your podcasts.

So, Baby Box One, has a lot. the game, you know, 12 o'clock game and the coach says, hey, everybody be there 1130 so we can get some hitting practice in the batting cage. All right, man, we'll go ahead and do that. And we get there and the coach, I see him, he's in the batting cage and he's pitching to his kid, right? He's pitching and they're pitching and they're hitting. Well, and of course it's his kid, right? Well, they were the first ones there. I was just going to say, of course their kid's going to get the best stuff. And I'm like, I tell Baybox, I'm like, hey, hustle over the to the batting cage. You can be next. Hustle up because we parked out in center field.

I was like, I'll be right there. And he was like, dad, they're not at the batting cage anymore. I'm like, what do you mean? And I walk around over there and I'm like, sure, no, they're not. The other teams in the batting cage. And I go up to the coach and I'm like, hey, man, like, I thought we were hitting in the batting cage goes, apparently that guy called dibs. The old in person dibs. I'm like, what do you mean? He goes, yeah, I was in there and he told me that he had it. He had dibs on it. I'm like, but you were in the batting cage, right? And he goes, yeah.

And he just told me, hey, man, we had already called dibs on the batting cage. And he goes, so I had to get out. And I'm like, no, no, no, you didn't have to get out. You were already in there. You could have said, hey, when we're done, you can use it. And he goes, no, apparently he said that there's a dibs. Like, he called dibs, so they get to use it. Dibs on drinking fountain.

And I'm like, okay, well, then you should have said, we've got dibs on scoring runs. They're not allowed to score runs. He goes, I'm going to let it go, but I'm just ready to kick their ass. Coach called dibs in the parking lot. They have the batting cage. What? I just have never heard of another team being able to call dibs on the batting cage.

If you're in the batting cage, you don't have to get out. They can't walk up to you and be like, hey, man, you weren't here and you couldn't hear me. And I didn't tell you this. But I called dibs. I told my kid on the way to the game, hey, we got dibs on the batting cage. So that holds true. I wonder when he called dibs. That's what I'm saying.

Who did he call dibs too? If he didn't say it to our coach, if we're already in the batting cage, how did he call dibs? Is there a sign up sheet that we don't know about? Maybe there is. Maybe there's something I'm missing. Maybe this is back to the same thing at the golf. Maybe it's the good old boys club where he knows somebody.

And he says, hey, man, if you just tell him that the league president told you, you guys get the batting cage, so we didn't get the batting cage. At all? No. He used the batting cage. engage and he went through his whole team. Hey, who wants to hit more? And I'm like, no, no, no, you shouldn't hit more. Once

you've gone through the whole lineup, get the hell out of there. So what were your kids doing the whole time? Playing hide and go seek in the woods? That'll get them ready for the baseball. Hide and go seek and they were hiding behind trash cans and because there's houses right by it. So they run and hide across the street behind the trash cans. See, my dad would have pitched to our team, then

pitch to the other team. See, that's a nice guy. Yeah. all these fights that probably potentially could have happened growing up, I never knew about them because I was a kid. Like your kids will never know about this. Right. It could have been a pretty intense situation. It could have been.

Hey, dibs, huh? Like, it just seems correct. And it's not even like, and see, here's the thing. They're only seven years old. So it's not like it's a big major game. Like, it's not like we're playing for a world championship. But to get in a fight over it would have been a little crazy. Well, and for you to be the Mr. Confrontation,

You didn't go up and say, when did you call dibs? I'm just curious. No, I'm not a coach. I know, but out of curiosity's sake, I would have loved to laugh to myself if he goes, yeah, there's a voicemail line, and I call it at 6 a.m. And as long as you say on the line, uh, dibs, Frank, then you get the batting cage. There's, there, any municipal batting cage you get that day.

I would love to know where he called dibs. I would love to know also. Because it has to be a legitimate way you're calling dibs. You can't just call it to thin air. So, like, did he call another coach? Hey, hey, Frank. Hey, Mike. Yep, dibs.

Just if anybody asked, dibs. Mike, you're not playing us. I know, dude, but I just wanted someone to know that I said dibs. So when we get to this field that we can have the batting gauge, thank you very much. Yeah, I told my wife last night at 720 dibs. And then your coach apparently told his wife at like 820. So out dibs, John. one. Yeah, he's laying in bed, hey, honey, I got dibs. Well, no crap. You're married to me. No,

no, I'm talking about the batting cage, huh? I'm not talking about your, you know, I'm talking about the batting cage. Oh, okay. Good. I'll write it down. So we know tomorrow when we show it, we have dibs. Dude, I wish I was on this coaching staff. I'd have been like, where did you call dibs at? How did not one of you say that? No, no, I wasn't there when it went down. I showed up after the dibs had already been transpired and they were already in the middle of the batting cage. So I still ask him. At that point, here's the. There's the thing. At seven years old, it's not worth the confrontation of causing uproar at the Little League. You don't want to, you know what I mean? You're trying to keep it fun and enjoyable

for the kids. If you see, let, they see you getting upset and they see the aggression and the frustration, then it makes it awkward at the Little League. I'm trying to not carry out the segment, but him calling dibs is one thing. Correct. But then you guys, not asking who'd you call dibs to is a completely other thing that is equally as confusing. I know. You have to say, oh, cool. How did you call dibs? Do you tell your mailman?

Who did you yell dibs to? Do you have proof of this? Where's your receipts? I know. I know. He called dibs to who? You got to call it to somebody. It's like dibs on the front seat.

I know. You got to call shotgun. Shotgun. Dibs. All right, guys. We got six ice cream cones left. Dibs. Who did he call Dibbs to?

I don't know, but our coach was very like, oh, well, he respected the Dibbs. No, no, why. Not sure why he folded to the Dibs when he was not in on the Dibbs conversation, but he did fold. And so we called Dibs on that W and we whipped that. and we whooped that ass. Oh, really? Wop that ass. Dude, handshake line?

Hey. Dibs. Dibs, dude. How about those dibs? Hey, coach, dibs on the win, huh? Have a good one, dude. Hey, you have dibs on that vacation, man. Have dibs on that vacation.

Your season's over. Head to Cancun. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, man. It was great, dude. They won Baye Box, rich one right down, third baseline, that first inning. Maybe the second inning.

I don't know when he hit. But yeah. I should have picked him on beat the street. You should have. He was great. Instead, we had Yorvin Alvarez, no hits. Yordon? Yeah, struggle. He's on my fantasy team. He's a keeper. We'll take a break. Pride is like love. You feel it in your heart.

IR. Radio. Canada's number one streaming app for radio and podcasts, including IHart Pride, Canada, your favorite hits and must have party bangers, plus personalized and curated playlists. Like back in the day pride. Come together. Celebrate love. Take pride with you. Anytime. Any time. Just ask your smart speaker to play iHeart Pride Canada. Stream us on your phone. Listen now at iHeartRadio.ca. Hey, I'm Hoda Kotby, host of the podcast, Joy 101 with Hoda Kotby. Together, we're going to have meaningful conversations with the world's most fascinating people.

Like when actress Olivia Munn shared how she overcame fierce health challenges. I've gone through breast cancer and then helped my mother through breast cancer, and that was more difficult. There's a lot of people who understand postpartner depression. I was not prepared for postpartum anxiety. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotby on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I love the sounds, the buzzing from the stadium, the chanting from the fans,

the announcers calling the place soccer, football at home. Why do I watch the World Cup? That's like asking me, why do I breed? I inherited that fandom from my mom. I like watching it with my dad. It's a connecting force. From Futuro Studios, I'm Fernando Chavarri, and this is American Football, a show about soccer culture in the U.S. and its underdog roots. We go beyond the game to the people and the stories that make it great.

A soccer game is a festival. It's not just a game. It's your culture. I took an elbow to my head, which cracked my skull. It is an American game. The Brazilians don't like hearing that, though. Are they the only ones that don't like that don't like that? Actually, nobody likes that. As we get ready for the Men's World Cup this summer, listen to American Football as part of the My Coutura Podcast Network, available on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

All right, listen up. The Jonas Brothers here. Our podcast is called, Hey Jonas. We're here, since everyone has a podcast, we want it to as well. And we've had some incredible guests so far. And now our good friend, Nile Horn, is joining the show. How's it going, boys? Hey, Nile.

It was the same thing with Slow Hands. Slow Hands is not about anything else. is it? You know, or taste so good can't be about food. You do the same, Nick, with some of the stuff that you've done. You too, Joe. Drop what you're doing and listen to Hey Jonas on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your podcasts. We'll take a break. We'll be right back. We got time for one more. We got to go.

We do. And on Fridays, I just titled everything. I said, hey, we had a heck of a week of shows. We mailed this one in. And I think that may be carried over into today. I think we mailed this one in. No, we didn't. Because I got a story. I was at physical therapy. If we have two straight episodes mailed in, not good for the ratings. No, no, dude, what do you mean? The golf course story was amazing.

Your pizza story, amazing. The batting cage battle, that was amazing. I feel like I should have had the guy say, now, jalapenos, a couple more times. I don't think I did it justice. How many times he repeated the most simple order in the history of pizza making? cheese pizza, extra cheese, jalapinos, ranch over you. Dude, I've been going to physical therapy for my little stomach issue.

You know, it's really annoying. It's stupid. I don't know if it's working, but. Titans doctor. No, I haven't known. That's not the Titans doctor. This is physical. This is physical therapy.

And there's mostly women in there that are, you know, in their 50s, 60s that are having, you know, pelvic floor issues, pregnant women. But I guess there was this one dude He was in there on Thursday And it was his last physical therapy session Like he's done He's out like he's graduating He's healthy He can go out in the world on his own

And I have never seen Someone try to flirt And try to hook up With the physical therapist As hard as this dude did And him not get the hint That they were not interested In your chili man

he was like they were talking he was like oh because i guess there's some workout class he's like are you guys gonna go to that workout class tonight i'm thinking about signing up you think he was single yeah or he was cheating i think he was single some of these variables nowadays you never know and he's they're like no i'm probably he goes like oh come on it'd be great if we were in the class together they're like oh i don't think i'm going tonight you know i got to do this he's like oh you haven't been in like a month i haven't seen you in there in a month it's like okay Okay, awkward. And then they start talking the three physical therapists.

They're all female. And one of them's like, man, I've always wanted to go to steeplechase. And she's like, we should do that one year. We should do that. And here comes Brosky. Well, we got a spot. Well, how, did you say age? He's probably 28.

Oh, I was thinking like 68. No. Okay. He's like, hey, we got a spot. You guys can pull up. You're welcome to come hang out at our tent this weekend. So you got some lookers? at these PT classes. And he's, and they're like, are you sure? Oh my, we would love to have you at our

tent. You know, we got, we got extra room. You guys want to pull up. We, I mean, it's right on the infield. It's going to be an absolute blast. It's so fun. It's me and my boys. And we, listen, we'll get you in. We had infield passes. Yeah. And they're like, I don't know. Oh, dude, he's like, come on. Come on. Just here. Like, I'll give you my number and you can just pull up to steeplechase. I mean, you guys said you've always wanted to go. Wear a little dress. And they're like, I just don't know if I can go this weekend. He's like, oh, come on, I'd really like to see you at Steeplechase.

No, he's trying to get him in one of those little spring dresses. I understand. But they're like, I don't know. You know what I'm pretty busy on Saturday. I was just saying, like, in the future, I'd like to go. And he goes, well, the future is this weekend. And I've got a spot in the infield. It's me and like 10 of my buddies.

What is he a used car salesman? Dude, he is so trying so. hard like they don't want to go I'm like they don't no no I'm like they want to go but they don't want to go with you you are not the prize they want to go work out but they don't

want to go to the workout class with you man that guy couldn't sell ice to an Eskimo they want to go to the steeplechase but they don't want to go with you I mean he tried for his entire hour session that guy couldn't sell a drink

to a drunk on Broadway Dude. That guy couldn't sell a Archburger to a person in line in McDonald's. That guy couldn't sell window cleaning to a skyscraper. That guy couldn't sell

soccer tickets to a soccer fan. That guy couldn't sell you're starting to mail it in. $2 gas. To anybody in America right now. That's what we want. Dude, it was an hour long of him trying to convince them to go to the workout class.

Then he gave up on that. And then for the last point... Wait, when is he going to leave? It's an hour long session. Oh, this is painful of him cold calling. The 20 minutes was the workout class. Then when they started talking about steeplechase, he spent 40 minutes on them going to steeplechase with him. And how many chicks are the birds are there?

Three. He can't get one bite? Not one. And they're just like, oh, that sounds fun, but I don't know. He's like, oh, it's going to be a blast. He goes, and looking at the weather, it's going to be amazing out there, the tent. It's an atmosphere you've never experienced. See, he thought he's going to take advantage of it now that the pelvic floor is fixed.

Whatever he was rehabbing, he thought they wanted to come and give him special attention outside the clinic. And it made me realize I bet you that clients hit on these chicks all the time, right? They have to. Have to. But and then at the end, this is the icing on top. He's like, well, you guys think about it here. I'll write my number on this post-it.

And if you guys are going to pull up, you let me know and you can come to our tent. If I'm you, just take the post-it, crumpled up and throw in the trash can. Don't even subject these ladies to that. So he, because he was out by the, he was by the front and he wrote it on a post- And he goes, look, I'm going to stick it right here on the keyboard. And he stuck it on the keyboard of the computer so they couldn't miss it. And he goes, he goes, all right, I hope to see you guys on Saturday. Really thank you guys for the physical therapy.

I feel so much better. And don't forget, steeplechase on Saturday. And he walked out. You look over at him. Nobody's calling that number, don't what I'm saying? No, I looked down to him. I said, hey, you mind if I get that number? It was, it was.

It was so awkward, dude. It was just like, these girls were trying so nice to be so nice. And he just was not, no, man, it's so much fun. It's me and my buddies. And, you know, we got this. Oh, my God. For an hour, dude, or 40 minutes, I heard about Steve will chase and him and his buddies in the infield and how great it was going to be. It was a hell of a weekend, man.

It was nice, though, sunwise. Oh, man, it's beautiful. Well, we didn't leave the country. We had steaks. We had pizza. We had our friend Jess pull up. She's got a golf cart. She just rolls up right in the backyard in the grass and the golf cart.

Doesn't even have to walk anymore. She has her clubs? No, no clubs included. I live in a golf cart community, not on a golf course. Everybody just drives their golf carts around. I got a question. When did this become a thing? I don't know.

Is it yours too? I'm going to tell you what? This weekend? I swear to you, it was this weekend walking the dog. Me and one of my kids, we saw three different golf. golf carts and I was like when did this happen yeah like when all of a sudden people buy golf carts just to drive around the neighborhood oh worry bayser it would be so fun if we got one oh my god like what do you mean like so say I take the night off from

drinking and then you're just gonna drink some margaritas I'm gonna drive you for what two loops around the neighborhood and then we just pull back inside the garage and charge it the one cool thing I've seen is Jess rolled up in our backyard inner golf cart that was cool Because then she's able to go to her mom's house because she can cut through our yard and go to her mom's duplex. That is the one reason to get a golf cart. These people that just do loops around my neighborhood,

they've lost it. How is that fun? Oh, look at that yard. Oh, my gosh. Sarah planted her flowers. Oh, they're blooming. We're just going to do a double loop on a Friday night and you have a margarita while I'm your DD.

I'll pass. Oh, make sure you charge it. Great. Glad we got it. I'll park both cars outside so both of them can get wet. Golf cart can stay inside though. Got to keep that golf cart out of the sun.

Don't want it to fade. You know what I mean? Hey, did you charge the golf cart? There we go. Dude, it's a thing. I don't know. And it was just like, I was like, this happened overnight. Oh, and Jess said she only paid $10,000 for hers. Only.

Jesus. It's like, if we're getting one, it's going to barely be hanging on with the smallest lithium charge you've ever seen. I'm not spending 10,000 on not even an actual vehicle. I would say my car's worth 2,000. Yeah. Oh, that was a good purchase, Jess.

Oh, 10,000, just a couple loops around the neighborhood. Carry your dog. Can you drive it down 65? No. Oh, okay. Can you carry anything with it? No. No, no.

Can you pull something? No. No. No. So it just goes like 10 miles an hour and just like, around the neighborhood and that's it. Yep, yep, yep. Can you dig anything with it?

Can you take it to the beach? Pull anything out of the ground with it. So it just is just a moves you around the neighborhood instead of running it. Instead of walking the neighborhood? Wow, so you save a whole three minutes. Oh, can all five of us fit on there?

Oh, only two. Got it. Oh, yeah. Dang. And I'm worth 10,000. Hey, have a great Monday, guys. We're out. Jess was pretty funny.

I was in my back swing, chipping off the deck, and she goes, hey, you want me to get all your balls? But she's going to go in her golf cart. Oh, she drove out and got him. And she was going to drive out in her golf cart and collect my balls

at the pitching green. That's actually not bad. I was like, maybe we need to get a golf cart. That's actually worth it. So you don't have to walk the 100 yards? That's probably worth it. $1.15 yards.

Oh, sorry. That was the joke. She was going to drive 15 yards and just grab them. Probably worth it. Yeah. Yeah. What a Monday. We didn't even talk about Brable and Racini today, man.

We'll see you guys later. I got to go. Yeah. Yeah. See you, truckers. Yeah. Did you see that, man? No, I got to go, though.

Yeah, I don't know. Let's go. Traffic's getting bad. I got to commute. Yeah, let's go. I could see it building right now. Uh-oh. A lot of golf carts out there.

Yeah. It's that time to put on your jersey and wave your flag, whoever you root for. Why do I watch the World Cup? That's like asking me, why do I breed? and it's beautiful. The guys are young and cute and fit. It's not just a game. It's your culture.

I like watching it with my dad. It's a connecting force. From Futuro Studios, I'm Fernando Chavari, and this is American Football, a show about soccer culture in the U.S. and its underdog roots. Listen to American Football on the I-Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Joy is essential, and it's also, elusive, but now there's a new and exciting way to start your journey toward a more joyful existence, Joy 101. It's a new podcast hosted by me, Hoda Kotby. If you're craving inspiration to maximize your joy, tune into these candid, uplifting, and moving on-air chats. Open your free Iheart radio app. Search Joy 101 and listen now. Joy 101 with Hoda Kotby is presented by CVS. All right, listen up. The Jonas Brothers here. Our podcast is called Hey Jonas. Because since everyone has a podcast, we want it to as well.

And we've had some incredible guests so far. And now our good friend, Nile Horn, is joining the show. How's it going, boys? Hey, Niall. It's the same thing with Slow Hands. Slow Hands is not about anything else, really, is it? You know, or taste so good can't be about food. You do the same, Nick, with some of the stuff that you've done.

You too, Joe. Drop what you're doing and listen to Hey Jonas on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your podcasts. Last night, a blown call changed the game. This morning, the internet lost its mind, and nobody's telling you exactly what happened. That's where SportsSlice comes in. I'm Timbo, and every episode, we're cutting through the noise, breaking down the biggest moments in sports and giving you the real story behind the headline.

And we're going straight to the source, the athletes themselves, their locker room stories, their reactions in the moment, and the stuff nobody gets to hear. Listen to SportsSlic on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. And for more, follow Timbo Slical Life 12 in the digital. TikTok Podcast Network on TikTok. This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed human.