The Bobby Bones Show - TAKE THIS PERSONALLY: Social Media Overload: How to Protect Your Mind and Mental Health

Episode Date: December 8, 2025

Social media is everywhere and it’s changing the way we think, feel, and interact. Amanda White, licensed therapist and host of Nuance Needed, returns to unpack the real impact of viral trends, rage bait, and online advice on our mental health. Amanda shares practical strategies for: Recognizing and avoiding misleading or extreme content online. Reclaiming your attention in a world designed to distract you. Practicing psychological flexibility and healthy boundaries in daily life. Taking small, intentional steps toward balance and wellbeing. Whether you scroll daily or just peek at trends, this conversation will make you rethink how you interact with social media and help you take back control of your mind. 🎧 Follow Amanda’s podcast Nuance Needed for even more insights into mental health and navigating the online world.  📲 Follow Amanda on social media: @therapyforwomen 📲 Follow the podcast: @takethispersonallySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Bob Pittman, chairman and CEO of IHeart Media, and I'm kicking kicking off a brand new season of my podcast, Math and Magic, stories from the frontiers of marketing. Math and Magic takes you behind the scenes of the biggest businesses and industries while sharing insights from the smartest minds in marketing. Coming up this season on Math and Magic, CEO of Liquid Death Mike Cesario. People think that creative ideas are like these light bulb moments that happen when you're in the shower. Or it's really like a stone sculpture. You're constantly just chipping away and refining.

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podcast, a one-stop news and pop culture shop to get you caught up and on with your day. And listen to Amy and T.J. on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Anyone else having the post-Turkey family time blues? I am feeling it this week. With the holidays coming up, I've got a lot of awesome interviews for you guys, but they're a bit more hodgepodge than series. So we may have a few mini series over the next couple of weeks or it may be totally random. Also, with your input, hopefully. I love when you guys share what you want to hear and who you may want me to have on as a guest. This week's episode I wanted to bring back on Amanda White. She's a therapist and she was on my very first episode of this podcast. She recently started her own podcast, nuance needed, to address the way social media has changed the landscape for our relationships, mental health and while everything. I think you guys are going to love this conversation. Let's do it. You all may remember Amanda White.

She was the very first episode that we had of take this personally many, many months ago now. But I'm excited to welcome her back. Amanda, how are you? Thanks for coming on. I'm good. Thanks so much for having me. I'm excited to chat with you, Morgan. Me too, because there's so much life has happened since we last had you on.

And we talked about a whole lot of things. But honestly, more than anything, social media has changed drastically in the last two years since we've talked. And that was kind of the whole reason I brought you on. So we're going to get into it. But I want to start with why you created a podcast that's all about nuance. I think it's what's missing in the world, right? I just feel so frustrated lately with social media. I think it's just gotten worse and worse over the past couple years where I've been explaining it,

it feels like we're playing this giant game of telephone. And what started as like helpful concepts and important things we were educating people on has become twisted and misconstrued. And we are talking about something totally different than what we started with. And a lot of that is because concepts all across the board. I'm obviously talking about mental health concepts and therapy concepts, but in different categories also. have just flattened so much that it's stripping everything of nuance. And it's like, what are we even talking about anymore? Well, and from what I can tell from a lot of your posts, especially in that mental health field,

we're seeing just a lot of people who don't have background or knowledge or the even education to be sharing a lot of topics that they are. And on top of that, then society is taking these very things. Therapy-based terms and turning them into trends or things that we're doing to post and make them either look pretty or look worse is what I'm seeing. Is that what you're seeing also? Yes, definitely. And I think it's because one reason is like the public has a very different perception of they collapse therapy terms you see online and what actual therapy looks like. And I think that's also because we have a like the mental health. industry is also not super regulated in terms of like the word therapist is not a protected word.

Anyone can call themselves a therapist even if they are not licensed, even if they don't have training. Yeah, I think that's definitely what I've been seeing. Everyone is a coach or teaching a course now and nothing you get like there are some really great coaches out there. But I think it's really confusing for the average person to understand what do I do? What do I pay attention to. It's like there's so much information. It's, I feel like this is the problem with our world right now. Like I always think about the analogy of TV and how there is more TV options, right, than ever we could have imagined. And yet all of us sit on our couches at the end of the day and just scroll through options and then end up just watching the same thing. Because it's like

too many options and so much bad stuff to sort through. You're so overwhelmed. Well, and how do we like the average person? I'm somebody who doesn't have a therapy background. I try and be really conscious of what I'm posting online. It's really just meant to be for entertainment and people to connect rather than me really inform unless I feel so strongly that I have years and years to teach on something, which I really don't, right? I just have my experience. Yeah. So how do we as the average person start to work through this to understand what we're learning? online is actually helping versus hurting us. What are we supposed to do, just the normal person in this new space? I think one of the things is look for people who do address nuance. Obviously, nuance is going to hide on the internet, even if someone doesn't mean to. I post a lot of nuanced things, but my most nuanced posts don't get views a lot of times. So it could be easy to just look at some of my most popular posts and maybe not see the full breadth of what I'm talking about. But I think just being a little bit more. And it's so hard now because, right, even when we talked,

we didn't have this feed of people who we don't follow who would show up on our feed. It was, it used to be with Instagram, right? Before the algorithm, it was just logical. But then after that, at least you had to follow someone to see their stuff or someone would repose. post something to see their stuff where now you're going to be fed stuff that you don't necessarily agree with, you don't like, isn't something you would ever click on and it's showing up on your feed. So I think the first step is before you take anything as advice or something to do, I would check out that person's profile. Some people don't even exist. There are bots. There are now AI people that are starting to, they're not real people who are having accounts.

So I think we have to start with just not taking everything on as something we should do or even take seriously. Well, and that's what's super crazy too is we're watching a day and age of social media where you, like I have to as someone who is actively on social media. I am a digital director. I know exactly what is happening on social media all times. But even I as somebody who's very skilled and well-versed in technology and digital media have to do very, very deep research to be like, is this actually true? Or is somebody trying to divide us or somebody trying to really play to one side of this? What is actually happening? There was a story the other day.

Yeah. I see this 91-year-old woman who's in a hospital gown in a courtroom and she got arrested for stealing heart meds for her husband who's like really ill. Yeah. And I'm sitting here like looking at this post completely enraged because I'm like, yeah, if that happens, I'm going to be mad. This is a society we shouldn't have. And then I went to three different places trying to figure out the validity of this story. Yeah. And it wasn't real. It was AI. And it took me as someone who is very well versed in digital technology to understand that this was happening. But my visceral reaction was anger. So it's like it's doing what it's supposed. to do, but nobody takes that second step to say, wait a minute. Is that actually true before I share that and give my visceral reaction to what's happening? Yeah, absolutely. I feel the same way even with like therapy content and things like that I see. And yeah, absolutely, especially with images and videos produced by AI, it is just a different landscape. You basically can't trust anything without verifying it these days, which is an insane thing to have.

One of my thoughts about it, too, is I interviewed on my podcast a misinformation researcher who is incredible. And a big thing he talked about is anytime you do get that immediate visceral reaction, and you probably know this too, right, it is telling you something. And often anything that is creating an extreme reaction like that is way less likely to be accurate or be representative of what's actually going. on. And it's crazy that we have to be so just vigilant online of what we're consuming, of what we're making sure we're spreading because we're also the source of things spreading further, right? I could have been the source there to continue sharing that story and made it just that much worse and spread like wildfire. So we have our responsibility on this other side, not just of consuming for the sake of ourselves and our brains and our mental health. But we also have a responsibility.

a responsibility as a consumer to not be the one who's adding fuel to those fires. And it sucks. It sucks that we have to do that, given everything else that we all have to do these days. Like, it feels very unfair, I think, that now we have to be vigilant online and we have to assume everything is false. But unfortunately, that is the world that we live in right now. It absolutely is. And yeah, to your point, We have so many things to worry about. Is this really another thing we need to worry about? Come on.

You were talking on your social media. I know you're doing substack, but you're doing substack a little bit also on Instagram where you share these Carousel posts of really getting into deep detail about things. Yeah. What do you feel like are some of the things that we've, as far as therapy terms, that we are just exploding in the wrong way? I think everything is getting, I think if we look at polarization. in every arena, I think that's where we are. And I think what's really, I've talked about just,

and it's been something I've been seeing a lot with my clients as well, of just everything is so misconstrued. No one knows what to do anymore. I think if you take the word boundaries that was so important, is so important a few years ago, people didn't even really, it wasn't like a common concept. And we've twisted it in. and to boundaries means I never have to do anything that I don't want to do.

And society starts to break down when that happens. I've done posts about what do we owe each other and stuff too? Because if every single person in the world is just like I'm out to get mine, I'm not inconveniencing myself, I'm not going to be uncomfortable. Not only does society break down, but it's not good for our mental health. A lot of my work as a therapist is always talking about someone's support system, always talking about who they're connected to. We know that is so fundamental to our mental health. And I just am very frustrated by the overcorrect we've done where we've taken things such as especially abusive situations, harmful situations.

Some of these phrases really helped women who were people pleasers who struggled to say no. And now that is all drowned out because it's been taken to such an extreme. I get very concerned about the people who are using them properly and in good faith and it drowning that out because we now just think boundaries means I'm going to do whatever I want. So when someone tries to authentically set a boundary, I think people are bristling at that idea. Yeah. And that's so dangerous, not just. in the social media world, but in our personal relationships, right?

Because you see things online and you take them for face value and then you put that into your real world. And, well, that's going to be a little damaging because you don't have all of the actual information that you need to be incorporating that into your real life. And it's super frustrating for me. I feel like what this tool came about, right? Social media started as this place for gathering and for community and to see each other and be connected. And it's turned into this situation now where it is the source of a lot of our problems instead of the source for what it was created for.

And it's difficult, right? Because I believe in evolution. I believe in growing and I believe that we should continue to constantly learn and grow and expand. But this doesn't feel like that. Am I weird or wrong for feeling that about all of this? No, I feel like that too. It feels like recently things have taken a turn and we're like spiraling. I don't know.

The telephone analogy is what just keeps coming back to me. It's not a growth. It is like a turning inward of itself. And it's getting too big and misconstrued. And it's a totally different beast than when it started. I think we're now coming up with solutions to problems that were created by it. Social media is creating problems where we're all disconnected from each other. We're not meeting in real-A.

And then we have social media companies that are now creating solutions to that problem that are to be online more and now have AI friends. And at some point, it is like a snake eating itself. It is just unsustainable. A win is a win. A win is a win. I don't care what I'll say it. Yep, that's me, Clifford Taylor the 4th.

You might have seen the skits, the reactions, my journey from basketball to college football, or my career in sports media. Well, somewhere along the way, this platform became bigger than I ever imagined. And now I'm bringing all of that excitement to my brand new podcast, The Clifford Show. This is a place for raw, unfiltered conversations with some of your favorite athletes, creators, and voices that not only deserve to be heard, but celebrated. One week, I'll take you behind the scenes of the biggest moments in sports and entertainment, And the next we'll talk about life, mental health, purpose, and even music.

The Clifford Show isn't just a podcast. It's a space for honest conversations, stories that don't always get told, and for people who are chasing something bigger. So if you've ever supported me or you're just chasing down a dream, this is right where you need to be. Listen to the Clifford show on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. And for more behind the scenes, follow at Clifford and at TikTok Podcast Network on TikTok.

You can have opinions, you can have like a strong stance. And then there's your body having its own program. I'm Dr. Maya Shunker, a cognitive scientist and hosts of the podcast, a slight change of plans, a show about who we are and who we become when life makes other plans. We share stories and scientific insights to help us all better navigate these periods of turbulence and transformation. There is one finding that is consistent, and that is that our resilience rests on our relationships. I wish that I hadn't resisted for so long the need to change. We have to be willing to live with a kind of uncertainty that none of us likes.

Listen to a slight change of plans on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On a recent episode of the podcast Money and Wealth with John Hobriant, I sit down with Tiffany the budgetista Aliche to talk about what it really takes to take control of your money. What would that look like in our families if everyone was able to pass on wealth to the people when they're no longer here? We break down budgeting, financial discipline, and how to build real wealth, starting with the mindset shifts. Too many of us were never, ever taught. Financial education is not always about, like, I'm going to get rich. That's great. It's about creating an atmosphere for you to be able to take care of yourself

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Gorsha accusing Kelly of sleeping with a merry man. They holding Kay Michelle back from fighting Drew. Pinky has financial issues. I like the bougie style of Housewives show. I think it looks like it's going to be interesting. On the podcast, Reality with the King, I, Carlos King, recap the biggest moments from your favorite reality shows, including the Real Housewives franchise.

The drama, the alliances, and the team everybody's talking about. As an executive producer in reality television, I'm not just watching it. I understand the game. As somebody who creates shows, I'll even say this. At the end of the day, when people are at home, they want entertainment. To hear this and more, listen to Reality with the King on the IHard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Anna Navarro, and on my new podcast, leap with Anna Navarro. I'm talking to the people closest to the biggest issues happening in your

community and around the world. Because I know deep down inside right now, we are all cursing and asking what the bleep is going on. I'm talking to people like Julie K. Brown, who broke the explosive story on Jeffrey Epstein in 2018. These victims have been let down time and time again for decades and decades by local law enforcement, by federal law enforcement, by administration after administration. The Justice Department through, I think we counted four presidential administrations, failed these victims. Listen to Bleep with Anna Navarro as part of the My Cultura podcast network, available on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, and because you can offer such a great insight to from this other perspective, you're seeing people in real life clients for therapy work who are dealing real life with what has come from social media and really blended into our real lives every day.

So what are you seeing from that perspective as a therapist where you're like, oh my gosh, social media is just there's something happening here and I'm a little worried for my clients. Give me that perspective. Totally. I think one of the things I've been seeing is the people who are really attempting to make friends are trying to show up, be in their communities, throw a party and nobody comes because it's too much work to go to someone's party. They don't want to get out of their bubble. They're exhausted from work, all of those things. And then it creates this self-fulfilling prophecy where if someone puts

themselves out there and has a gathering of inviting people over and then nobody comes, that person feels bad about themselves. And then they're more likely to retreat also. And then the other people in their circle, then they don't have anything to go to. And then they're like, no one's inviting me anywhere. It's weird. Right. Then the whole culture shifts of what is weird. versus what is not. And I think that's a really good example of some of the stuff I'm seeing of people just being like, well, I'm protecting my peace. I'm protecting my mental health. I need to conserve my energy. I'm not going to push myself to go to someone's house or do something outside my comfort zone. And then everyone is negatively impacted and it reverberates through a whole community.

Yeah. Gosh, that makes me so sad, right? Because you just know, that's hurting people's social well-being. And we're social creatures. We're meant to be in gatherings. We're meant to be around people and we're meant to have these strong foundations of friendship and relationships. And it's also funny the way that you mentioned that because it was something that was sparking in my head where I often feel like I'm very level-headed.

I'm very self-aware. But even times when I've, if I lose a friendship and I've. put those boundaries in place, social media almost makes me feel crazy if I didn't do it in the right way or if I did it in a certain manner. And it's like, wait, was I wrong for that? But that feels really right based on my experience and everything that I experienced. But social media is making me feel a different way. So am I right or they right? What are we doing here? Are you seeing that happened to? Yes, absolutely. And I think a big part of that also comes from we're losing the skill of When everything is very specifically curated for us and we don't see things that are different from our beliefs or outside of the norm and we're just being reinforced the same things.

And then you add in like rage bait on top of that. It is difficult for us to remember that not everything applies to us. Not everything is about us. The bean soup theory. Yes, exactly. We can see something and not take it personally and not react to it. And I think your example is a good one because, yeah, when we have so many, especially the way people are very authoritative online of this is the right way to set boundaries. People are so black and white online.

This is good. This is bad. This is how you talk to a friend. This is how you don't. And there is no, I try to make my content about how can I teach you to do something? How can I teach you the skills to learn what applies to? you versus telling you what applies to you because that will go much farther. But yeah, even I fall into it with health stuff because I'm not as well versed right. Obviously I know about physical health

and stuff, but I'm like, am I doing something wrong because I don't go on like a circadian rhythm walk every morning? Would I be better is this the secret? And I think we are so being taught to look externally for the solutions because never in history have we been bombarded with so much like self-improvement content. Even if you are on social media and you don't seek that out, like this goes beyond just mental health. It's physical health content. It's parenting optimization content. It's work optimization content. It's whatever your field is, how to be better at work content. It's so much.

We are drowning in it. And we don't have time or the wherewithal to step back and be like, is this too much information? Is this for me? Is this helpful? Should this even apply to my life? And again, like I think back to even five years ago when we were on social media and a lot of what we saw was our friends or maybe some celebrities. it wasn't everyone telling you what to do. Now everything, every single, everyone's an entrepreneur, so they're all trying to like add value and create everything.

This is nothing against entrepreneurs, but the way that it's taught as like, I don't know, every person is trying to add value and we make adding value about influencing someone or telling them what to do in some way that we lose touch of what our value. are and what actually is important to us. Well, and I can even speak to this from the digital perspective. I know what is happening on social media for people to do to go viral, to get content seen. People who are creating content are encouraged. This is across the board, right? There's no one platform that is or isn't doing it.

It's across the board. If you want to be seen, it's like first five seconds, you have to say something really catchy. So when you think of that, everybody who thinks catchy, it's going to have to be something that's going to make you angry. It's going to make you feel like you have to be like told what to do. It's like this, this five second is what's molding our brain because creators are having to, but now we have so many people who have jobs out of creation, which is beautiful that people are finding ways to make money. But then their livelihood depends on it. So then they have to make sure I have to get the attention in the first five seconds, which means creating things that may not be exactly

what they want to create, but they're forced to in order to be seen on a feed. So if truly, like, when you find creators that you love, you have to support them. And when you feel that way and you're like, this is something I believe in. Like, I see a lot of creators out there who show the messiness of their home or the things that make it a little bit less aesthetically pleasing. And I'm like, follow them. Make sure they're in your feed and they're part of you because it's the only thing that you can actually do as a consumer on a digital platform to drown out some of that noise and engage with it. Then it keeps popping up for you. Because if you don't, the algorithm is going to feed you what it thinks is best. And what it thinks is best is stuff that's rage bait,

stuff that's telling you exactly what you should and shouldn't do, what you shouldn't believe. And it's so crazy the way that we're even teaching the algorithms that that's what we want because we're consuming it and we're engaging with it. It's interesting from a digital perspective to watch what's happening on social media. And it's also funny because I'm somebody who refuses to do it unless it actually is beneficial and I'm going to help somebody through it. You're never going to see me do something rage baity where I'm like, okay, well, I'm going to make you really angry just because I need to. That's just not who I am. And I think you have a lot of creators out there who are also like that. But it's interesting. You mention that because I can see it

from the actual side of where it's coming from. Yeah. Oh, I'm so glad you brought that up. And yeah, I think the other component of this is, as everything is becoming so dependent on social media, I think about the book publishing industry, right, used to have a lot of power over the books that were made

and ones that were successful. And now everything has become, you have to have a following to be able to get a book deal. If you think about news, media, right, as it's become, like, decentralized and more independently creators and stuff like that, we are a lot more independent. Journalists used to be able to not, like, have a lot more protection over not caring about whether all of their stuff was seen.

And now those people are more dependent on hooks and act more like creators and things like that, too. So it's wild. It is. It's really infiltrated in everything. It's infiltrated in the music industry, too. That's where we see a lot of talent coming from is TikTok and Instagram, whether they're actors or their artists.

It's such a big part of our lives. And it's also why I wanted to have this conversation because it's not all bad. And again, as somebody who's on the side of creation and understanding social media, it's my exact job I do every day. It's not all bad. It can actually be really good and really useful and important. But I think what we get back to is that really tricky word that you had mentioned, which is discernment.

Yeah. And understanding how much of a role. we are playing in our consumption of social media. And it's an important topic right now more than ever because we just, it's getting really easy to be unaware that we have a role that we're playing. And it's why I had really wanted to bring you on because not only were you creating the nuance podcast to really get into the nitty gritty of a lot of topics that are important, but it's to bring an awareness to discernment and nuance.

Is there anything you have to share on those as I say that? because I know that's really your bread and butter right now. Yeah, I agree with you that I think we have to start seeking out things. I think one of the things that people could do also, in addition to what you were saying about really being clear about the people they follow, putting your energy into creators that you like, into things you want more of, supporting people. I think also taking stock of what is important to you, right?

Like in this attention economy, our attention is so fresh. fragmented, we're all so overwhelmed. I think coming back to yourself and getting clear about what your values are, what is important to you, because a huge thing I also see is because we're so overwhelmed, we end up taking on all this responsibility for things we don't have control over and then we neglect the things in our life that we do have control over. I'll give you an example. I'm a parent. I have a two and a half year old. I am bombarded all the time. time with parenting content that makes me feel as though one wrong thing will ruin my child. So it is very easy to get caught up and all these things I have to do. And if I'm not doing this

and I'm not doing that. And then we don't read the parenting book that we have or we don't implement and practice the things that we already decided or no. We don't go back to our values because we're just constantly seeking the next solution, the next magic fix, the next thing. It feels better a lot of times to research than to actually put into practice what we know. But as a result, if we're only looking externally, if we're only collecting more information, we're just going to get more overwhelmed and not actually make a difference where we can. Oh, gosh, yes, that's so important because it is. I see the parenting content. I don't even have kids and I'm overwhelmed. It's often what plays a role in me being like, do I want a kid? Because I'm the,

little not sure I can handle all of this, even though I'm full well, no, I'm a great adult and I'm capable. Yeah. It's crazy that the little seeds it's planting to really just push us in one direction or another. A win is a win. A win is a win. I don't care what I'm saying. Yep, that's me, Cliver Taylor the 4th. You might have seen the skits, the reactions, my journey from basketball to college football, or my career in sports media.

Well, somewhere along the way, This platform became bigger than I ever imagined. And now I'm bringing all of that excitement to my brand new podcast, The Clifford Show. This is a place for raw, unfiltered conversations with some of your favorite athletes, creators, and voices that not only deserve to be heard, but celebrated. One week, I'll take you behind the scenes of the biggest moments in sports and entertainment. And the next, we'll talk about life, mental health, purpose, and even music. The Clifford Show isn't just a podcast.

It's a space for honest conversations, stories that don't always get told, and for people who are chasing something bigger. So if you've ever supported me or you're just chasing down a dream, this is right where you need to be. Listen to the Clifford show on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. And for more behind the scenes,

follow at Clifford and at TikTok Podcast Network on TikTok. You can have opinions. You can have like a strong stance. And then there's your body having its own program. I'm Dr. Maya Shunker. a cognitive scientist and hosts of the podcast, a slight change of plans, a show about who we are and who we become when life makes other plans. We share stories and scientific insights to help us all better navigate these periods of turbulence and transformation. There is one finding that is

consistent, and that is that our resilience rests on our relationships. I wish that I hadn't resisted for so long the need to change. We have to be willing to live. We have to be willing to live with a kind of uncertainty that none of us likes. Listen to a slight change of plans on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On a recent episode of the podcast, Money and Wealth with John Hope Bryant, I sit down with Tiffany the budgetista Aliche to talk about what it really takes to take control of your money. What would that look like in our families if everyone was able to pass on wealth to the people

when they're no longer here? We break down budgeting, financial. discipline and how to build real wealth, starting with the mindset shifts. Too many of us were never, ever taught. Financial education is not always about like, I'm going to get rich. That's great. It's about creating an atmosphere for you to be able to take care of yourself and leave a strong financial legacy for your family. If you've ever felt you didn't get the memo on money, this conversation is for you to hear more. Listen to money and wealth. Listen to money and wealth. with John O'Brien from the Black Effect Network

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Listen, Inside American Soccer with Tom Bogart and Tab Ramos on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, wherever you get your podcast. I think there's also a piece to this too where I would love for you to share. I do not know how the heck to really have you give this advice. Yeah. But take it as somebody who's on social media and they're really trying to understand what they're consuming and they're trying to be this person who's having a little bit more discernment with things and they're trying to understand that things aren't always met for them. What is that advice that you're trying to give them or maybe tools you're trying to give them to work through this particular day and age, this moment in time where they're faced with these two choices, if you will? I think one thing to do is when you see advice that you think is good and you want to apply, I would ask yourself, what is the nuance here?

What might be missing from this? How can I, even if you love it, how can I maybe do this in not the extreme way that someone's talking about it? Because even if there is nuance to something, we tend to as humans take it to the extreme. We then see things in the extreme. Our mental health often dictates how we take something on. So we're already pretty towards the more extreme end of things anyway. So checking in and asking yourself, is there another way I can look at this? What might the nuance be that's missing?

How can I implement this 10%? Instead of the big issue I see is people want overnight change. They want a hack, they want a secret, they want their like to be totally different overnight. And then they try to do something. it is completely unrealistic for them. And then they end up feeling like a failure and giving up and doing nothing. Compared to, right, I'll give an example of the circadian rhythm walks that people love to talk about online, right? Instead of being like, okay, every morning as the sun comes up, I must be outside for at least 20 minutes every single day.

It's like, okay, could you just try to go outside once a day and look at the sun? No, really? Because honestly, that's hard sometimes. Yes, Sam. Like, can we find the small, what is the smallest step possible you can take towards that? And let's be consistent with that first. This is such a very, especially right now and happening in my life, I had gone through some major health problems and I had some really bad long COVID. And so I finally got to this point where I had to really take some drastic measures to get better. and it's so crazy because I've been documenting it not because I feel like people should do it.

I feel like it's more information for people who might be struggling with chronic health problems and don't have answers. But what's wild about sharing that is I've always had to be clear of this is my body and this is my experience. I need you to understand that your body is going to be different and that you're going to have different things that you need based on your own literal genital. genetics and blood and all the things that are pumping through you that I don't have. And it's wild that even has to come to such a pivotal point that a stranger has to say it of like, hey, just please do this for you in the way that's going to be working for your body. But I wish that I could remind everybody that for all things, not just the health that I'm sharing online recently, but like everything I see online is I take it with a grain of salt. It's like a trend. If I see

something that brings me a lot of joy and I want to try it, then I'm going to try it. But if I see it, I'm like, oh, I don't quite think that's for me or that's going to look really bad on me. I'm probably not going to do that. Then I'm not going to do it just because I saw it online. There's so much to this where it's, you had mentioned it and we talk about the bean soup theory. Everything is not met for you in a great way, right?

Yes. Just because something isn't meant for you doesn't mean something else won't be. There's all of these things out there that you can find your core. of the internet that is things that you love and that you like and it can be this positive space. So it's like you were talking about this and that's what it reminded me of just, yes, we're in a very for you time where your feet is very for you and they think they know you. Yeah. You're the one who knows what you feel.

You know what you like. You know what makes you happy. And the best way to make sure that's what's in your life is to continue to like have that autonomy over your life. Absolutely. I love that example too because I think that in this age of everyone telling us what to do, we forget that it's optional. Like, we forget that just because this worked for someone doesn't mean that it will work for us. We forget that just because someone made something that isn't for us also doesn't mean that it's harmful to us or it's leaving us out either. I think a lot about there's a word in therapy called psychological flexibility.

And it essentially means it's one of the biggest predictors of good mental health. Like your ability to react to things, to adapt, to think about things differently. All of those are positively correlated with being mentally well. So I think a lot about how can we, and I talk to my clients about this, create more psychological flexibility for us, especially in a world that's against it. And some of those things you can do are purposely exposing yourself to things that you don't necessarily agree with or are different. It doesn't even need to be like rage baiting either because I think that's what we think of, but just like someone who has a totally different perspective than you, who lives in a different

place, who has different ideas. Engage with that, get curious about how that person came to be and how their perspective is shaped. When you're frustrated with someone or a situation, like starting to practice, I love giving my clients as assignment of so often we have an assessment about a situation and we don't think about what other possibilities there are. But just because someone did something and we think that they did it for X, Y, reason, doesn't mean there aren't other reasons at play.

So purposefully trying to think of what is another way could interpret their behavior? What is the most generous way? What is the least generous way? What is the middle way? Like, practicing, like I think of it in terms of my brain. Like practicing moving your brain around a situation to just develop that skill of recognizing that you have a perspective, but you are not your perspective. Right? You have one, but that is not you. It is not fixed. And other people have different perspectives, too.

Oh my gosh. That's so important. When you said you are not your perspective, I'm like, oh my gosh, yeah, because I, mind you, we can have this whole conversation. And I know full well that I have been guilty of doing so many of these different things, right? I've gotten caught up in it. I've made the mistakes. But it's interesting to hear you talk about that flexibility, this mindset of that because what? back when I was in college my freshman year and I was studying leadership. I remember this class so vividly. Our professor made us all sit in a circle. We were all of different cultures, different nationalities, different beliefs, different views. And we had to talk about the things that you don't want to talk about, right? We had to talk about these very divisive topics. And we were all different. We all had so many different opinions. But when we left that room, it's not like we were mad at each other or we hated each other. It was like we actually really loved the experience that we had because we came away with different things than when we entered that room. And what you're talking about reminds me of that.

And it's something I wish everybody could experience in their lifetime. It's just this constant realization that there's so much out there in the world that we don't know or we've never had experience with that. it can only help you by just being a little bit more to your saying flexible. I've always called it like this openness of just knowing, it's like knowing you don't know everything. But more than that, it's being open to the idea that it can shift and change in mold. And that's exactly what you're talking about. And I just, I wish that more people could practice that in everyday life. And I know that's hard because you don't have a classroom full of people to do that with in everyday life. But so if somebody is, wanting to do this more flexibility mindset. What would you encourage them to do? Hopefully some are going to therapy and working through this with the help of somebody. But if they're just practicing in an everyday life, what are some questions they should be asking themselves or maybe some things they can do because social media is a little bit hard to do that with? Because it can be pretty hostile when you're trying to create that environment. Yeah. So maybe in real life,

I guess, would be some better examples. Yeah. I think you could. start with just getting curious, like the people in your life. I think that we assume we know everything about everyone that's close to us. And I guarantee you people in your life have stories and things to tell you and knowledge that you don't know that they have that would be interesting to you. So yeah, I think you could start there. I think you could talk to your parents or your friends, your partners. When someone starts talking about something, start asking more why. My questions, start just acting like a scientist and getting really curious about why they came up with this reason, what their thought process was, how they came to that conclusion. And I think that stretching your mind in different ways or reading, I think, too, is a really underrated way to do this.

We all read so many nonfiction books, I think, these days, which is great. But a really great way to get into someone else's head and really be immersed is right by reading fiction and reading like first person fiction when you're in their brain. You understand especially a really great book. And it is really practicing a skill of realizing that your perspective is not the only one and isn't even you, right? Because you can then be this other person as you are in their world by reading, for example. Very much so. It's also the other thing where I feel like traveling should be free because it's such an educational experience. You can learn so much about just so many other things and it really gives you perspective. It's almost like it's so expensive because they don't want us to realize that we can learn on the conspiracy theory that I'll stick with in my head. But I just love talking about all of this with you. Not to hit the nail on the head. But like it is so nuanced. In social media, we are in a different day and age than what we used to be before. And whether we want to admit it or not, it's really got a hold on of a lot of our lives. And the best thing we can do is be having these conversations to just take a step back.

And hopefully we can, in another way, rewire our brains to do some things differently. So I do want to end, though, on something. Maybe we didn't get to something that you want to make sure we talk about or maybe something inspirational, motivational, whatever is on your heart right now. I think that we have really become just consumers and we need to take the energy and shift the power back to what does our, like, remembering what power we do have. What do you want your relationship with social media to look like? What do you want your community to look like? What do you want your relationship with your friends, your family?

Like, because of how much overwhelm has happened, because of how the world has shifted, it feels very much like everything is happening to us. us, which I completely understand and relate to as well. But I think the more we can come back into ourselves, think about our values, think about what we want to create and start taking small action towards that. Even if you're not successful, quote unquote, with creating what you want, it feels much better to be putting your energy towards that instead of spinning your wheels about something you don't have a ton of control over. Oh, yeah, that's a really good a place for us to end on because it is true. And hopefully, again, this is something that will, at the very least, make us think a little bit more and it'll be a little bit more paying attention

to what's happening and what we're consuming. So, Amanda, thank you for your time. Thanks for coming on here. And I appreciate you, as always. And go ahead and shout out your podcast so they can check that out because we need some more nuance. Yes. So my podcast is called nuance needed. That's available everywhere. You get podcasts. And she is therapy. for women on Instagram. I love following her. Like I said, she has what I call them substacks. They're really cool. They are long carousels. But they're great. They're so informative. So if you are wanting to just challenge yourself a little bit further, it's great content to have. So thank you again, Amanda. I appreciate it. Thank you. Next week, I may do another guest interview

because I have several awesome ones ready for you guys. Or I can do an even deeper dive on social media and share with you all my experience working in this field, aka digital world for the last 10 years, and answer some questions. Let me know what you think, because as I always say, this podcast is for you. And I want you all to have the content that you want.

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