The Bobby Bones Show - TAKE THIS PERSONALLY: You Are the Perfect Parent for Your Baby: Postpartum, Baby Instincts & Trusting Yourself

Episode Date: January 4, 2026

What if new parents aren’t failing, but simply unsupported? Morgan sits down with Michelle Pool, nurse at Maven Clinic and the person behind One Minute Milk Bites, for an honest, deeply validating conversation about breastfeeding, postpartum mental health, and why modern parents feel so overwhelmed. Michelle shares her own journey from struggling new mom to lactation expert, breaking down why breastfeeding can feel impossibly hard, how baby instincts actually work, and why the “breast is best” messaging has caused more harm than help. Together, they explore postpartum depression, the loss of the village, C-sections vs. vaginal birth, and the quiet identity shift that happens after a baby arrives. This episode is for: New and expecting parents Partners who want to show up better Anyone who’s ever wondered, “Am I doing this right?” If you’ve ever felt alone, unsure, or like you’re not enough, this conversation is your reminder: your best is good enough, and you are the perfect parent for your baby. 🎧 Subscribe to the podcast for more episodes. 📲 Follow Michelle on Instagram @one_minute_milk_bites 📲 Follow @takethispersonally on InstagramSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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There's an economic component to communities thriving. If there's not enough money and entrepreneurship happening in communities, they fail. Listen to Eating While Broke from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the IHeart Radio. app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hey there, folks. Amy Robach and T.J. Holmes here. And we know there is a lot of news coming at you these days from the war with the run to the ongoing Epstein fallout, government shutdowns, high-profile trials, and what the hell is that Blake lively thing about anyway?

We are on it every day, all day. Follow us, Amy and T.J. for news updates throughout the day. Listen to Amy and T.J. on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcast. On a recent episode of the podcast, Money and Wealth with John Hobriant, I sit down with Tiffany the budgetista Aliche to talk about what it really takes to take control of your money. What would that look like in our families if everyone was able to pass on wealth to the people when they're no longer here? We break down budgeting, financial discipline, and how to build real wealth, starting with the mindset shifts. Too many of us were never, ever taught.

If you've ever felt you didn't get the memo on money, this conversation, is for you to hear more. Listen to Money and Wealth with John Hope Bryant from the Black Effect Network on the I'd Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I've got Michelle Poole with me this week. Her Instagram One Minute Milk Bites is helping new parents everywhere with advice in quick one-minute videos. I'm excited for you all to hear her drop some major family knowledge. Here we go. Michelle Poole is a nurse at the Maven Clinic, and she is awesome about sharing so much.

information online about babies, motherhood, the boobies, all the things. So Michelle, thanks for joining me today. Thanks so much for having me, Morgan, very excited to talk all things, babies today. Yeah, I would love to know. So you work at the Maven Clinic. You work in, you guys are family building, fertility, pregnancy, parenting, menopause, all the things that around this. But talk to me about starting that and why you got into that line of work, but then also your social media page and why you're sharing the information that you are online. Yeah. I mean, how much time do we have? I'm kidding. You can go as far as you want. We love to get deep on here. The short version is that I have a master's degree in counseling. And before I even thought about having a baby,

I was a counselor. And I helped families with children with special needs and did that kind of behavior therapy. So I was in that world when I became pregnant. I was told that breastfeeding, was easy and natural, it's just like breathing. And I was like, oh, cool that I don't need to take a class or read any books. That sounds like a big waste of time. But when my baby came around, it was really, really difficult for me. And I struggled. I was doing all of the things with the breasts and the pumps and the bottles and the formula and the nipple shields. And I started to lose it. And I didn't know what postpartum depression was because I didn't take any. I have the classes, you see. It's good to take classes, guys. And I just thought, I'm really bad at this. I'm not cut out to be doing this. And luckily, I did get some help from a visiting nurse. Things got into place. My little baby, God bless him, decided to participate and try to figure it out with me. Some babies don't, and that's okay, too. But it just worked. And it took a couple of weeks before I was like, oh, it is easy and natural after.

eight weeks of really hard bad times. A lot of ups and downs, I would imagine. Now it is. Now you just put the baby on the breast and we're done. Ah, like this is why people breastfeed. I almost gave up, which would have been fine. Something was going to give my mental health or breastfeeding. And it just worked out that I was able to keep both. But I realized it is, it can be easy and natural if we get through that learning curve.

make it through the zombie haze of becoming a new parent. I almost didn't know that because I would have just stopped and I would have hated breastfeeding and said, don't do that. That's a really bad idea. But because I had both perspectives and I was a counselor, I was like, ah, I think there's a new pathway for me here to use my counseling skills and learn about lactation and babies and then marry those into a new job. I became a nurse because that seemed to be helpful in the whole overarching career path. Did my time as an intern and studied and did the exams and ended up with a lot of different jobs in the realm of babies and newborn care and breastfeeding. I've worked in hospitals, lactation centers, niccions, birth centers, outpatient, home visits. And then the pandemic happened.

and a lot of things switched over to online. And that's where I actually worked for Maven before that happened, but I have several jobs now. Maven is one of them. They are not only taking care of moms, pregnancy, having babies postpartum, but throughout the life cycle of women, which I just love every bit of that and love being a part of their team. So that's why I'm sitting in front of you today. And the social media just, I don't know, two or three years ago, I just felt like I can give more. I'm seeing so many moms. We're struggling so much with just not knowing the very basics of this thing.

And we can talk more about that, but that's where the social media part came in. I love this. And you mentioned that. We'll definitely get into it about how it's a life cycle, right? We like to think we push people into having kids and oh, it's so exciting and you have a kid. And they're here. This is cool. And then it's like everybody disappears.

And I've seen that happen and so many of my friends and so many of the people that I love. And it really breaks my heart because that's when that's the most isolating moment of their lives is this new thing. It's so exciting and they were so excited for it. But also nobody warns you about what happens after everybody's excited about it. And nobody's, that village disperses because they're like, oh, you got it. You know what you're doing. And the moms and dads are sitting there like, no, we don't. Hey, we're still here kind of thing.

So we'll definitely get into that. I want to talk about it. But particularly a lot of the content you mentioned about new moms in this very first phase of having the baby and then being like, what am I doing? And it's a fear I think a lot of women have especially because they're like, I don't know how to do this. And I don't have all these tools. Everybody says the mother instinct happens.

And it does. But there's also a lot of fear that comes with that. So what do you see a lot where moms are starting to freak out and they don't know things? Talk to me through those things that you're seeing and experiencing with people. Yeah, I think it ties into what you were just talking about where we're not set up for a village anymore. As a human species for hundreds of thousands of years, we did live together in community, in a village. There weren't lactation consultants. Other mothers were the lactation consultants for the new mom.

And we helped each other. And if you couldn't breastfeed, I would breastfeed your baby. Problem solved. And then we try to help you. But it was a very village-led effort. And now, of course, we're very isolated in general. So new parents are isolated. But I think that's just a reflection of the bigger picture of what's been going on, probably for the last 100 to 200 years since the Industrial Revolution, since we all had to get, everybody has to have a job. We can't just have a, or dad goes off to work and I get to stay home. Not that there's anything wrong with that or wanting to go to work, but a lot of people don't even have a choice.

Both parents must go back to work. We are able to move away from our village. I did. And there's good things about that and not so good things about that. When it comes to raising a little baby, I think moms definitely start to feel that isolation, if they're not at least near their family or friends. So I think that has a lot to do.

with kind of the origination of why moms are feeling so disconnected from themselves and their babies and each other because that's the society that we live in. It's not their fault. Yeah, it very much is. And right, like you're mentioning, it's part of that bigger picture. And it's hard to watch because there is such an encouragement of have kids. You should have kids, don't not have kids. But we're not really supporting them in the way to give people the belief that it's safe to do so. It's like this scary thing. And so that's why I love what you're doing is you found this gap and you're like, I'm trying to provide the support and I'm trying to help you guys through this. And so you do milk bites, which I love. And they're really walking through the basic steps of, hey, breastfeeding. So

talk to me about breastfeeding and why that kind of became a little niche for you when it comes to social media. I think breastfeeding, again, because we've lost. touch with the community, the village. Many moms who are having a baby, they've never actually seen somebody having a baby before. So like if we lived in the village 500 years ago and you were having a baby, I would be at your bedside helping you out. There would be women around and we would just know what this is and what it looks like and what to do. So a lot of women who are having kids, they've never even seen that happen. And when it comes to putting a baby to their breast, they've never seen that either until it's their baby.

And now, mistakes are high. If we're trying to exclusively breastfeed, we're trying to keep the baby alive from the breasts alone. But I have no idea what I've never even seen it happen before. So I feel very at a disadvantage. And then the moms, like you mentioned the maternal instinct, there's a baby instinct as well. So moms feel out of touch with that instinct. And I think they are. And again, that's no fault of their own. But they don't know that the baby, has instincts as well. And to learn some of those baby behaviors and the reflexes that the babies are born with to get to the breast can be so helpful before the baby comes along. But all in all, when it comes to baby feeding, we can breastfeeding. We can formula feed. We can pump. We're all three. Breastfeeding seems to be the harder one to get under our belts in a steeper learning curve. So that's where I give the most help because I feel like it's the hardest of the three things. I do try to talk to pumping moms and formula feeding moms as well because formula feeding moms get left in the dust sometimes. Like you're breastfeeding, that's hard.

Pumping's also hard. Oh, you're formula feeding. Read the back of the can. Yeah. And it's not that simple. Nothing is ever that simple. That's right. That's right.

So I try to help everybody out. But it is the breastfeeding where we're getting the most kind of confused and tied up and lacking just very basic information, not only about the mechanics of it, but also just the biological components of it, which I think are really important to the big story. And a part of this picture, we're obviously seeing a huge shift in people wanting to be aware of what they're consuming, what their babies are consuming what's happening. So I'm imagining that's also a role in this when it comes to formula and breastfeeding and pumping and stuff. Are you seeing that transition happen as well? It's really heartbreaking to me because moms are always, constantly comparing themselves to get a sense of how they're doing. And that's also just a

reflection, I think, of the society that we live in. And it's like, I have to look at you and you to know that I'm doing a good job, which isn't how anything really works. But they're doing that. And then they're hearing messaging from people like me, I don't say this, but some lactation consultants may say, or doctors or healthcare professionals may say breast is best. Breastfeeding is best for your baby. And they just hit with that message again and again, And then when that isn't going well, they've tied it up with parenting. It's not just like breast is best. It's like, oh, breast is best.

And therefore, if I'm breastfeeding, I'm the best parent. Like, I didn't say that. That's not what I said, but that's what they're hearing. And I've been really asking lactation consultants to change that messaging because we know how harmful that can be when the mom has now tied up. If I'm breastfeeding really well, that I'm a good parent. And when that starts to fall apart, I'm not as good as a parent anymore. but at least I can pump. And now they're pumping, but comparing like the volumes that they're getting.

We're having people telling them, oh, when you pump the milk, it's not as good, is that the baby's just breastfeeding. And then when that's not working, they have to use formula. And so the formula, I'm so grateful that we have formula that nobody has to breastfeed if they don't want to. If they can't, we have something to feed the baby. And we live in this society where the almighty dollar rules. And so formula companies are marketing to these vulnerable moms and trying to tell them why their formula is the best one. And it can't even be in this country anymore. Now it's like, well, you have to go and buy the European formula if you want to be the best mom.

So it really is heartbreaking to see these moms just trying to do. They just want to do what's best for their baby, but they lose sight that like their best is the best for the baby. Just being themselves is the best for the baby. loving the baby, taking care of the baby, the baby trusts that I'm going to meet their needs. That's what we got to be focusing on, not like how many ounces of milk you pumped, whether you were at the breast or pumped it, what kind of formula did you buy? But they've tied that up with how good a parent I am. So I'm trying to unravel that problem, which again is people like me caused that.

So I want everybody in my side of the screen today to take responsibility here and think about how the language we're using is messing moms up. Well, and it's funny you mentioned that. We had just done a podcast episode where we're really talking about social media and how the twist and turns. It's turned on so many different levels from therapy to parenting to so much a part of what we understand and how we compare ourselves and what that all looks like. And it's super damaging for the real life experience versus the online experience.

So I know that's playing such a significant role. And I want to get back to that thing you mentioned about baby instinct. because this can also be a way that moms and dads can be the best parent they can be, because I think I should have thought about that, that babies do have instinct. They're their little human, but that's definitely not something anybody has told me about. So talk to me about that. Yeah, this is also, it's funny in a way. Like, it's very sad, but it's also funny because when parents, first-time parents,

who have not been around newborn babies, have not lived in that community where we're helping each other out, when they have, and I'll get one of my baby props. I love a baby prop. This is perfect. So we have the baby arrives on the scene and it's like, what do I do with this? And parents, dads especially are like holding the baby like this. Like, ah. And they're like, what, like I need an instruction manual.

What do I do with this little creature? Is this even human? It seems like it's a foreign species to us. That's how far removed we are from it. So part of what I'm doing in the future, in the near future, I think I'm going to start another Instagram channel or some kind of social media channel where I'm really trying to build these basics of this is a human being. You know how to take care of a human being.

You've taken care of a lot of human beings in your life. This is one of them. They just happen to be a lot smaller. But when we just reframe it, even that, I get parents who are like, I never thought of it like that. And I'm like, wow. Well, then we have a lot of work to do. But it's good that now you are thinking of this is a lot of. a human. This is a mammal. And if you can learn some basic things about mammal babies, it's going to

apply to your baby as well. And then we can just start to say, what is this baby mammal born with the ability to do? And there's social media. It's problematic in this space. And it's also a blessing because it gives me an opportunity to just get the message out there. There are other providers who are giving good evidence-based, nice, not-harmful information. And there are so many videos that we can go watch now of what happens when a baby is born. Did you know that every baby goes through the same nine behaviors after they come out? No? Can you tell me about these nine behaviors?

Because I feel like I'm getting a whole educational experience right now. It's super cool. So I'm not going to go through all nine of the steps. But if you go, anybody that's listening and you want to see what I'm talking about, if you look up, newborn babies breast crawl, newborn babies, the golden hour. Like, then you're going to see these babies who are fresh out. They're out now. They're living in the world. And they do nine of the same thing. So it's like they cry, they rest. They like look around. And eventually they get themselves to the breast. So like step nine is like they've latched and stuff. started eating. And if I just, now this is, okay, so here, and it has to be a normal vaginal delivery with no interventions. And that's pretty rare these days. It still happens. It happens in birth centers. It can happen in the hospital if you're vocal about it. There's sometimes

are compromises we have to make. But we could have a baby who's going skin to skin after birth, full term delivery. And all I have to do as a mom is just make sure the baby doesn't fall off of the bed. And this baby will put herself onto my breast. Parents don't know that. And when they see the videos, they're like, it's mind-blowing. I've seen a lot of babies doing this over the years. And it's still like makes me weep because it's just this beautiful thing that I have no idea what I'm doing. Thank goodness. This baby got now it got somebody. That natural instinct. Like I soon as they're out of the womb, 100%. So within the first hour, you're going to see all of those things happen, these stages that our baby mammals go through. And that can be a big shift.

For parents to see it on a video is one thing. And that can make them say, wow, what? But then when they have their baby, it's amazing just to have them just sit back. You don't have to do anything. Because they're just like, what do I do? Like, you don't even have to do anything, literally. Just relax and hold your baby and watch what they can do. And then as we move forward, now it's nice for you to be able to sit up and hold them and do the things. But if you just lean back, they'll do a lot of the work for you, which is super cool. A win is a win. A win is a win.

I don't care what I'm saying. Yep, that's me, Cliver Taylor the 4th. You might have seen the skits, the reactions, my journey from basketball to college football, or my career in sports media. Well, somewhere along the way, this platform became bigger than I ever imagined. And now I'm bringing all of that excitement to my brand new podcast, The Clifford Show. This is a place for raw, unfiltered conversations with some of your favorite athletes, creators, and voices that not only deserve to be heard, but celebrated. One week, I'll take you behind the scenes of the biggest moments in sports and entertainment,

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I feel like it was a little bit unbelievable until I really start making money. It's Financial Literacy Month, and the podcast, Eating While Broke, is bringing real conversations about money, growth, and building your future. This month, hear from top streamer, Zoe Spencer, and venture capitalist Lakefield. Landrum Pierre as they share their journeys from starting out to leveling up. If I'm outside with my parents and they see all these people come up to me for pictures, it's like, what? Today now, obviously it's like 100% they believe everything, but at first it was just like, you gotta go get a real job. There's an economic component to community striving. If there's not enough money and entrepreneurship happening in communities, they fail. And what I mean by fell is they

don't have money to pay for food. They cannot feed their kids. They do not have homes. Communities don't work unless there's money flowing through them. Listen to Eating While Broke from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, I'm Bob Pittman, chairman and CEO of IHard Media, and I'm kicking off a brand new season of my podcast, Math and Magic, stories from the Frontiers of Marketing. Math and Magic takes you behind the scenes of the biggest businesses and industries while sharing insights from the smartest minds in marketing.

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the hosts always act like they know what they're talking about and they are experts at everything. Here, the Nick Dick and Poll Show, we're not afraid to make mistakes. What Cougler did that I think was so unique. We see? He's the writer-director. Who do you think he is? I don't know. You mean it's the president?

You think Canada has a president. You think China has a president. Los Angeles Cruzette. God, I love that thing. I use it all the time. I wrap it in a blanket and sing to it at night. It's like the old Polish saying, not my monkeys, not my circus.

Yep. It's a good one. I like that saying. It is an actual Polish saying. It is an actual Polish saying. Better version of Play Stupid Games, win stupid prizes. Yes.

Which, by the way, wasn't Taylor Swift who said that for the first time. I actually, I thought it was. I got that wrong. Listen to the Nick, Dick, and Paul show

on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You've mentioned that specifically the traditional style of birth. So does that change? If C-section is part of this and different things,

what does that look like? It can look a lot of different ways. We have, of course, a lot of studies now that show us what it can look like. And so if you have an epidural, let's say. And some moms want an epidural, which is totally fine. And some moms don't want an epidural, but then they do, and that's also fine. And some moms don't want one, but then the healthcare team is like, you really should get one because of medical reasons. It's safe for the baby in terms of the medication.

But if you think about what an epidural is, you know, it's a numbing agent. And so it's not, that the baby doesn't get any of the medicine, they do. And so sometimes just depends, like the dose of the epidural, how far away we are from delivering the baby, all of these kinds of things. But we see that babies who were born to a mother who had an epidural, they're not quite as feisty. If you go look up the breast crawl,

you're going to see these babies that are like doing push-ups on the mom's chest and bobbing their head and eating their hands and pushing with their feet to get to their breast. And that's what we would love to see. Babies who have some kind of medication in their system might not be quite as bright-eyed and bushy-tail. They might be a little, just a little flopier, a little more relaxed about the whole thing. And as that medication wears off, they will start to pick up with those behaviors. They don't lose them. It's really important for those moms who had to have an epidural. I had to have a C-section. I had all of medication. And thank you.

for all the medication for that. And I had a baby that was floppy and not super into things for a minute. And I've seen lots of babies like that in the job that I do. Keep that baby skin to skin with you. That's, if anybody's listening today, if there's one take-home message, hold your baby skin to skin as much as you can, as often as you can. And when you get tired of it, give it to dad, give it to your partner, give baby to grandma to hold in skin to skin.

It's so good for them. It's really great for breastfeeding. Development. It's like the neurons are firing in the baby when they're held skin to skin. It's really cool science stuff where they have like sensors on the front of their body that are talking to them about where they are and what they need to do and triggering feeding reflexes. And if the baby has had any medication, as that wears off, I'm going to start seeing some of those behaviors that I wanted to see when they were born. And I'm going to be the first to know if the baby is right here and know that, okay, now it's time to fee. So there are some differences.

But generally, they're short term. Within 24 to 36 hours, we should see a baby kind of free of the medication and acting like fiery little mammals trying to eat. Oh, wow. That's so fascinating. And they do not teach you that in school. That's for sure. And it's also interesting. I've seen some stories recently coming out talking about C-Sexam.

So I'd love your take on that because it's there's, and I don't know, you may not have one and you may not know, but it's more the, we're seeing that C-sections were pushed a lot for people to have them and versus having natural birth or whatever they wanted to have. I loved watching my sister navigate this for the first time because she, I said it in the very beginning. I was like, one thing I know from all the information I've taken in is just be your own advocate. Do whatever you want to do and stand up for yourself. You deserve that. And she did in every way. And she. She fought like hell to do the things that she wanted to do as long as it was safe for her and her baby. And that was really cool to watch. But it's also interesting now seeing a lot of the feedback come out online about C-sections and this push to have them done. So is there anything you can share and shed light on that kind of situation that's really unfolding right now? Yeah. Like I mentioned, I had a C-section. My baby was breach.

And he didn't turn and he didn't turn and he didn't turn. And when I finally delivered be a C-section, they said he was. was never going to turn. Like he was folded up like a taco this way. There was no room for him to move. So thank goodness we have C-sections for medical reasons. It is major abdominal surgery. And we forget that because it's so commonplace when we're talking about having a baby. And it's like, oh, you're going to give birth vaguely? You're going to have a C-section. It's like it's major abdominal surgery. And not only is it major abdominal surgery, maybe even at this point, we can hold baby skin to skin after a C-section. A lot of hospital.

are doing that now. But imagine, like going in for any other abdominal surgery, like you're going to have some kind of liver surgery or surgery on your stomach and you are awake for the surgery. And 10 minutes later, they go, here's a baby. Please keep it alive. Can you imagine? But that's what we're doing when we have a C-section. And we're like, here's your baby. Don't pull your stitches out. Be really careful holding them. Like, make sure when you're breastfeeding, they're not kicking your incision. It's crazy. So we've really normalized it in a way that I think is a detriment to the way that moms are thinking about it. And like I said, I'm glad we have them and everyone, you should do what you would like to do.

But make an informed decision and recognize that you are having your body opened up and they're taking your organs out and laying them on your stomach and then they're cutting. So it's like, it's a big deal. There can be just like with any surgery, there are way more risks. as you can imagine, involved with this way of delivering a baby. Because we do it so much on the plus side, we're good at it. Yes. I would say probably, I don't know the evidence, so don't quote me on this, but I would imagine that whenever we started doing C-sections,

that they're probably a lot safer than they used to be. I would hope so. I would hope so as well. I think we've been doing those for a few decades. I would hope so. But they do come with some disadvantages. And then once you are recovery is a whole different story, You now, I remember standing up the first day after I had that surgery and it was scary.

It was scary. You're not allowed to drive. You're not allowed to walk off the stairs. You're not supposed to pick up anything bigger than your baby. And if you have other kids at home, it's a challenge. It's a challenge. So lots of kind of risks and downsides that I'm not sure that we're always being honest about with moms. Mm-hmm.

I think the wild experience about that, too, is that. You mentioned it and you don't get to recover completely. You're now going to get kicked out too. They chose you on this Friday to misbehave. They are normally angels during this whole process. They've gotten used to it. I'm not sure what the warning is, but I thank you. You mentioned that this like the recovery process and I think about the idea of having to take care of a newborn, learn to breastfeed,

learn to especially new moms, right? If you've done, this is your four C-section, you probably have a little idea of what's about to happen. But what's wild to me is those first newborn moms for the very first time are like, I have to recover for how long and I also have to take care of my baby this whole time. And nobody really warns you about that in the process. Yeah, this is a big deal, but you'll be fine. I don't feel like we're super, I may be not honest, but just like not talking about it at all when we're making informed decisions. And like I said, sometimes it's really not a decision. In my case, if we have a baby that's breached, to me, that's not a decision.

I guess some people might say it is, but in my opinion, we're going to have a C-section because we're at much less risk than delivering vaginally in some of these cases. But it is super stressful to have to be recovering from this. And then just, even after birth, I remember. I remember I felt so sick because of the medication that they gave me. Like I was, and like a lot of people are throwing up. I don't remember if I did or not. I might have.

But again, they're trying to like give me a baby when I'm like vomiting. And I'm like, are you out of your mind? I'm like, what is happening? This is not. I can't even take care of myself right now. Don't give me something that needs me to help it survive. That's right. And so it gets a little weird, I think.

Again, we've just normal. It is, it is a normal way to give birth. I think the babies are coming out through the window instead of the door. And it's very safe relative to other things, but compared to a vaginal delivery, it's not quite as safe. And then the recovery time is intense, especially sometimes right afterwards. And this was a planned C-section. When we're talking about an emergency C-section, that can be way riskier all the way around. And then depending on why did we have that in the first place, what was going on with the mom, what was going on with the baby.

Now we might have a baby in the NICU for some reason, or moms had to be moved to a different part of the hospital. I think it really complex and challenging for new parents to navigate this. And just navigate it, period. Forget about breastfeeding. Sometimes that goes out the window pretty quickly when we're in that kind of a situation. Very much so. And we're now to this point where it's after the baby is born. And a big piece of this, what we mentioned right at the beginning, is that there's a little,

stage at which people forget that these parents exist and they have a newborn and this is what's happening in their lives for the rest of their lives. And they don't have that village and community as much as they did in the very beginning. And there's also postpartum that comes with that. So what are some things that you're seeing maybe to help parents, especially moms, get through that postpartum season and get through it without having to face that? Because that is another thing we just really don't talk about a lot because joyful having a baby. it's great, you created life. But hey, also, you might have some depression, anxiety and stress that come with us, but don't worry about it. It'll be fine. Yeah, that gets really hard, too,

especially not being in community because now, and I mentioned I had postpartum depression. It didn't go diagnosed because I never told anybody about it. Because what I'm going to say? I'm bad at being a mom. I don't think I can do this. I decided to have a baby. And now I feel like I can't say I didn't want this or I'm bad at this. So the feelings of like shame and guilt are big in moms. And it's like it's not even their fault. Like we've had this major hormonal flux that has triggered some kind of depression. Now, if we have a baby that's not breastfeeding pain, we're not sleeping, that makes it all worse.

But it's it's not like they did something wrong. But they don't know that. You can't see it when you're inside of it. And so now if you're lucky enough to have a partner, they're the ones that are responsible. So one thing I would say is that if you're supporting somebody who's pregnant, learn about the baby blues and learn about postpartum depression because we want to normalize those things so that you understand it's pretty normal

for that big mood swing to happen over the first few days after birth and to feel very teary sometimes, even though this is supposed to be the happiest day of my life, why am I crying? But then most of the rest of the day I can move out of that. and still enjoy myself and still laugh or eat dinner something. If that continues to pick up, get worse and worse, and now I'm crying more and more, I'm just shutting off emotionally. Now we're headed into postpartum depression territory.

And again, I don't know it because I'm inside of it. So for the partner to be able to be checking in daily and just being like, hey, how are you feeling? How are you doing? What can I do for you? What's the hardest thing today? I like that question a lot. What's the most challenging thing for you today? and telling mom, this is so hard right now and you are doing such a great job in spite of these

challenges. I see how hard you're trying. Moms need to hear that and they're not hearing it from the community anymore. They don't get it from the village. So that partner has a lot of new responsibilities that sometimes as men, they're not as in touch with that womanly mothering part of themselves, that nurturing part of themselves. So I think all of this needs to happen. before we have the baby for it to work out. So I think there's a lot of work that can be done prenatally with couples going to classes, asking questions, learning about what's normal, how can the partner support mom, knowing the signs, how to talk to her about it, what to do if we feel like this is not okay. You're not alone. There is help and things are going to change,

but we need to take some action to get there. But that falls on the partner a lot of the time. Well, and I love that you said that because it does, right? This isn't just one person who's part of this picture. And sometimes it is, and that breaks my heart in itself, and it's an entirely different story. But when there is a partnership that's happening and one of them is just removed from the scenario, and I'm like, hey, you made half of that. Just because it's coming out of her, you still have a whole lot of responsibility that's about to come. And it's so funny, I was my poor brother-in-law, when my sister first told me she was pregnant, I I think I sent him so many different social media clips of taking care of her. I was like, I'm not there. We live in separate cities. So you, I like you right now. We've gotten along this whole time. But I'm going to make sure that you're also going to show up in this way because I

need you to do for my sister. And I knew he would. He's an incredible dad and an incredible partner. But it was like I wanted to help him also have information that I don't know that I even knew. It was an entire community trying to help to make sure one of the things that I was so profoundly just really in touch with for my sister was like, I need to check in with you all the time and how are you doing? And how are you feeling about this? Talk to me about what you are instead of

being like, how's the baby? Talk to me about your new baby. It was like, mom, you're still my sister and I want to know about your life and how you are. So that was something I really recognized in just a lot of friends and a lot of people I've seen have babies too. She's really lucky to have you. No, thank you. I'm glad that you recognized the need for that. Well, and I hope it helps other people recognize. But it took me seeing and experiencing other people going through this to say, I need to make sure I'm aware of this.

When this does happen for my best friend, need to be the one who's checking in on her because it's really easy. And to no fault of anybody's, right? A new baby's exciting and having a new family member and all of these things are so exciting. but mom's still there and she's still very much a part of that picture so it's not just the baby. And that was something that hopefully me saying that is just like, oh, yeah, I need to flip that switch because it's easy. It gets lost in the mix. That's so true.

And I like what you said about maybe you saying that was the first time that she even thought about herself because we forget about ourselves as moms and we're so hyper-focused on is the baby, okay? is the baby breathing, is a baby eating? And I forget that, like, I'm here too, and I'm alive, and I need to keep myself alive, and I need to be okay as possible. And I stop thinking about that. So it's important not just to be checking in, but also for you to make mom remember that she needs to be thinking about this too. And again, we've lost a lot of that connection with other people in a community.

So if you have a family member that is pregnant, having a baby, friends, check in on that. Somebody's checking in on the baby, I promise you. Like that baby's getting checked over a million times a day. But mom gets left out sometimes. And that's a bit problematic from a lot of different angles, in my opinion. I hope we're going to do better with sometimes a mom won't even see her doctor for six weeks after she delivers. So she has a baby and her first OB-GYN checkup is six weeks postpartner.

Wow. That's 15 lifetimes with a new baby. six weeks. Oh, are you breastfeeding? No. I'm like, I quit three weeks ago because it was so hard. Like your whole life is changing day by day. The baby's doing different things. If I'm breastfeeding, my body's changing. We need better postpartum support just through the medical system. That's a different topic. But in the meantime, people who are around mom in her community, even if we're living far away. We do have FaceTime. We do have phone calls. Take advantage of those. I think also, So having conversations about it before we have the baby. I think I mentioned that, but just to

reinforce everybody having a conversation with mom because her whole identity is going to change. We often don't talk about that either, where it's like, well, I'm having a baby. What do I need to buy? What are the hacks? And I'm like, cool. Like, you can get that probably literally anywhere on social media, but who's talking about like your whole life is going to change? You're not going to be the same person ever again. And your relationship is never going to be the same relationship. ever again. I think we need to spend some time thinking about that and talking through that in addition to all the things we're going to buy in the baby showers and all of that. Well, that is so important because it is. It's a focus on what all do I need. How do I make sure the

house is prepared? Is the baby room ready? Do we have everything the baby needs? And those conversations, there doesn't feel like there's a lot of space for it in all of the noise. And not intentionally, but just there's so much else happening. A win is a win. A win is a win. I don't care what you're saying. Yep, that's me, Clivert Taylor the 4th. You might have seen the skits, the reactions,

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Yeah, I think feeling like I really trust my partner. Do we have any trust issues that we need to work on, talk through? And just saying, hey, do you trust me? What about this relationship? Could I be doing better? Because literally, like, my life is now dependent upon my partner. So the dad is sometimes, ah, you can change the diapers or you're keeping your family alive. And dad, partner, whoever, again, if we're lucky enough to have that person, is like, eyes on the big picture now.

And is baby okay, yes? But like mom's pretty attuned to that. Is mom okay? And what does that look like? And then is the household okay? And talking through, I want you to be able to tell me when you're feeling anything that's wrong or there's a big challenge. Like I want to be the first to know. I want to hear what do you need?

Like you can ask me for anything. Like just really building and making a solid foundation of like trust because it really it can be life and death when we talk about like new baby, new mom. There are risks that go along with this and we want to make sure that everybody's safe and healthy. And that involves some level of trust between caregivers. So really working on your relationship, if there's any sort of stress around that, and of course, those of us who have been married, like leading up to the wedding, it can get a little stressful sometimes with our future spouses and like having a baby sometimes leading up to that can get a little stressful. And I see it happening postpartum as well. But the couples that I know

are going to be okay are the ones that I know because they've told me about like how wonderful this person is for them. And they know that and they say it and they can be vulnerable with that person. They can share their deepest, darkest fears with that person and trust that they're going to be able to receive and help in whatever way that they can. So that's critical. And then the household management, one of the best things that my now ex-husband did when we were expecting the baby was he got very serious and he came in one day.

I was having a C-section and it was planned. So we knew like tomorrow we're having a baby or something. And anyway, he came in. He's very serious and he has like a pad of paper and a pencil. And he's like, I need you to tell me. me everything that you do in this house. And I was like, ah, and I'm telling you, like, he realized, I do a lot of things that he doesn't even know what they are. And he realizes that's all going to change. And I'm not doing crap for at least a couple of weeks now. And he's

going to have to do it. So that was amazing. So I share that story with new couples and say, have that conversation. What are each of you doing in this household and know that mom's not going to be doing a lot of that at least for a minute please no really at least for several weeks actually yeah that's those are such important questions and once again like you speak from that counseling perspective i'm sure too of just we do see a lot of resentment that comes after people have a baby because life does change and it's not to be dramatic it's supposed to hit you with a reality that this is going to be different it's going to be awesome and there's going to be exciting moments but there's also going to be a lot of changes. And are you prepared for that? What is your life? It's no different

than when you're about to get married. It's like, are you sure you want to be with that guy for the rest of your life? Like, have we gone through the whole questions and have you answered all of them? How do you feel? There's a cool trend that's been happening online that I've been seeing lately of people saying it's important who you marry and they're showing these really hard moments in their life. And I wish I could stress that so much more. because it's all I see, right? And I've seen so many different perspectives of this. And I've lived in so many different partner situations. And the one thing I always come back to is, are you going to be able to get me through the toughest moment of my life? Are you going to be able to get through loss? Are you going to be able to help me get through if I do decide to have a child and push it out of my body? What are you going to do?

What's that going to look like? And I wish more people had that conversation with themselves before marriage, before having kids, all of it. I think that's such an important topic. It really is. And I just saw something funny and it was like, ladies, you're going to meet a man when you're 23 years old and you're going to know that he's the one. It's very important that you don't marry. I was like, oh, day, okay. Like I feel called out a little bit, but all right. It's so true though. Sometimes it feels that way and it's just not it. And also we do the best we can with where we're at. Hindsight is 2020. Often within the situation, it does feel like this is the person. This is the one that can do all the things. And then when push comes to show up, but I didn't know that because we didn't,

we never had a baby together. So a lot of these things are kind of first. And I don't even know how I'm going to be. So it gets, it can be like it's not a perfect equation where if we talk about it in advance and everything's going to be great. and there's not going to be any problems. No, there's definitely, that's not how this works. No, you could have all the conversations you want.

You can still not be prepared for certain things. That's life. And I like to really stress that because the pressure to be perfect in having a baby, the pressure to be perfect parents is bigger than ever. And now social media, like the whole world has their opinion on what that looks like and how to be the best parent. You're going to mess up 100%. you are not going to be a perfect parent, but that's okay as long as you're able to remain

focused on what does my baby need right now and I'm trying my best to answer that need. That's a great parent. Not somebody who bought the right things or showed the right video or these kinds of trendy social media things, but you have to allow for the flexibility. And I said this before in my videos, take that word failure and take it out of your vocabulary when it comes to being a new parent when it comes to breastfeeding. Get rid of that word and replace it with another F word, not the one you're thinking of. Replace it with another F word, flexible.

I didn't fail at anything. I was flexible in meeting the ever-changing needs of a little baby mammal. And that's where we need the gland is just saying like, I'm showing up and doing my best, but I'm going to get it wrong. And this baby's going to tell me. They're going to tell you you got it wrong. And you get to try again until you get it right. And if you can't get it right, you pick up the phone and you call somebody.

Help, come help me. I don't know how to take care of this baby. But even that, asking for help, that's where, again, we've lost that community, that village. None of that would even have happened if we were still living with each other in these close-knit situations. So you will mess up. Your relationship is going to experience friction because you're becoming new people. And you've never met that person before. You've never met the baby before.

It's a new dynamic. It's a new family unit. Like there will be friction. There will be stress. How do you work through that with each other? How is that gone historically? What do we need to talk about in terms of how to best get through it when it comes up after the baby arrives? These kinds of things, I think, are critical.

Oh, yeah. And wow, having those conversations is so important. Even the idea that you can have those conversations shows that you're in a good place. to be able to approach this type of situation. It's the ones where you may not be able to even have a conversation that I would be a little concerned about. But to your point, yeah, nothing's perfect. Everything is going to come with its challenges. And I think that's what's so cool about having you on to share those experiences to hopefully,

the whole purpose is always of this podcast is to make people feel less alone. And the one area that I don't have a lot of experience with, because I'm not a mom or a parent in any way, that is motherhood is such a journey and parenthood is, and it's such an individualized one, that there's just not a one-size-fits-all, but there is information you can consume to help you. And that's what I think is really cool what you're doing. Thank you so much. Yeah. Everything you said is absolutely true. And we have moved out of the literal village situation, but we still can find it if we look for it. It is out there. there are places to call. I don't have anybody else to call. Yes, you do. There's phone numbers you can

call that will pick up at 3.30 a.m. and help you with whatever you've got going on and knowing that, and there are social media accounts like mine. I hope to think that are really trying to help you get through at support. And I do, I get a lot of requests and DMs. I can't just do that with my life. I don't have time or else I would. If I were independently wealthy, y'all, I would be answering every single one of the DMs about I need help. I need help. But I do try once in a while to do that. But know that in this, in the United States, if you have health insurance, you receive free lactation benefits. So I want everybody to hear that and know that.

You pay nothing as long as the lactation consultant is in network with your insurance. Take advantage of that. Nothing is free. You're paying for it somewhere along the line. But when it comes to, I show up at your house, you don't have to give me anything. Like, I'm getting paid and I'm helping you. And a lot of times you can even have like up to six visits with a lactation consultant. at no extra cost.

So that's really important to remember if you're struggling with breastfeeding, pumping, bottle feeding. I love that. That's really good to know. I don't think a lot of people know that and are aware of it. Resources are everything. So we are in a different time, but at least hopefully the resources are so infinite that you can find what you're looking for. And hopefully for something like that. Hey, it's girl math.

It's basically free. So just do it. Love that. Yes. I do like to end this podcast on it's either a piece of advice or motivation or maybe it's something that we didn't talk about that you'd really like to talk about. I give the floor over to you and you end us on something. So this is me transferring power right now. Wow, I wasn't ready for this.

There's so many little things. And you can hit a bunch too if you're like. There's no rules to this. I just like to end on something that you're really passionate about or want to share. everybody out there who's having a baby, going to have a planning to have a baby, you, this is going to be a weird one. I love it. You are a mammal. And that means that by definition, you do have some behaviors and instincts.

You make milk. Nobody has to breastfeed. I think that's fine. But you're going to make milk no matter what because your mammal body is doing a lot of things, growing a baby, creating milk for the baby. And maternal instincts are real. in every mammal and in you. It is inside of you. So sitting with yourself and really, I think getting to that truth, yeah, you can watch social media, watch videos, but also just sit quietly and just think about yourself as a mother. Who am I as a mother? What does that look like? How have I

mothered other people in my life? How do I nurture those around me? What do I feel when I think about having this baby? That's a great way to start getting in touch with who you are as a mother, because it's built into your DNA. You can't escape it. We feel very removed from it, but just sitting quietly, even just once before you have the baby, a couple times would be great. I think going to groups where women are talking about these things

could be super helpful. But you can do this. And the last thing I'll just say is that your best is good enough. You are the perfect mother for your baby. They think you're literally a goddess. That's what they think. You're judging yourself. Stop doing that.

It's your baby fed? You did a great job. Is your baby loved, cared for? You're rocking it. It doesn't look the way that you want it. That's okay. That's another problem, though. That has nothing to do with your worth as a mother.

Get some help. Get help before you give up. Get help if you need help. But you're doing a great job, taking care of this baby just as you are. And we wouldn't be here sitting here having this conversation if people like you didn't exist. So, Michelle, Thank you for everything that you're doing and the information you're sharing.

Do you want to shout out your Instagram page so they can follow you? See all that content? That is one minute milk bites. Please come follow me, drop me a message saying you saw me on Morgan's podcast. I'd love to chat. And thank you for listening and seeing what I have to do, what I'm doing with my life. I love it. It makes me feel very validated and motivated to continue.

So thanks for having me. me on and letting me spread the word to as many people as want to listen to it. Oh, yeah, you are doing amazing things. Like I said, I found you from my sister who kept sending me things. I was like, I don't even have a baby, but I will keep taking this from you. And I thought you were going to be such a great guest and you are. So thank you for spreading information. Keep going. And I'll make sure to link her profile in the show notes too so you guys can find it easily. But again, thanks, Michelle. I really appreciate it. Thanks, Morgan. That wraps up our new parent episodes. Hopefully you all got some wisdom or a moment of relatability these last two weeks.

The next time I talk to you, we will be in the new year starting our next era. I'll be sharing an episode with my grandma Bernie, who is an incredible woman and firecracker with lots stories to share. I'll post things on my socials in case you want to stay in the loop at Take This Personally. Happy Almost New Year friends. Stay safe this week. I'm so happy that you're here. It's Financial Literacy Month, and the podcast Eating While Broke is bringing real conversations about money, growth, and building your future. This month hear from top streamer Zoe Spencer and venture capitalist Lakeisha Landrum-Pierre

as they share their journeys from starting out to leveling up. There's an economic component to communities thriving. If there's not enough money and entrepreneurship happening in communities, they fail. Listen to Eating While Broke from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hey, I'm Dr. Maya Shunker, a cognitive scientist and hosts of the podcast, a slight change of plans, a show about who we are and who we become when life makes other plans. I wish that I hadn't resisted for so long the need to change.

We have to be willing to live with a kind of uncertainty that none of us likes. You can have opinions. You can have like a strong stance. And then there's your body having its own program. Listen to a slight change of plans on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast. or wherever you get your podcasts. This is Amy Roboc alongside TJ Holmes from the Amy and TJ podcast. And there is so much news, information, commentary coming at you all day and from all over the place. What's fact, what's fake, and sometimes what the F. So let's cut the crap, okay?

Follow the Amy and T.J podcast, a one-stop news and pop culture shop to get you caught up and on with your day. And listen to Amy and T.J. on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever. you listen to podcasts. Saturday, May 2nd, country's biggest stars will be in Austin, Texas. At our 2026, I Hard Country Festival

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and how to build real wealth, starting with the mindset shifts. Too many of us were never, ever taught. If you've ever felt you didn't get the memo on money, this conversation is for you to hear more. Listen to Money and Wealth with John Hope Bryant from the Black Effect Network on the I'd Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. This is an I-Heart podcast

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