The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - A Dead Genre

Episode Date: July 7, 2022

Dan and Jay examine slap-stick comedy movies and check out the trailer for Machine Gun Kelly's documentary.Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

And now the bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Dan Soder. You're gonna watch the machine gun Kelly trailer or the documentary. I'm done everything. Every series that I started is done. There's no new shows. AGT threw on a best of last night. How dare they? Someone sent in a maybe before we watch this trailer, the AGT clip of another comic.

Mr. Pants? Yeah. Yeah, he just does pants puns. For some reason, they have a lot of comics who do this. They show one right before, actually, Mr. Pants, that does like a themed, you know, I mean, I'm a thing and here's the jokes about it. And then this guy does the same thing with pants and they're like, I think what you've done is amazing. Frank DeBaker sent it in Someone's in this jerk off way worse than the voice instrumentalist. I don't know

Voice instrumentalist has got two ladies dude. She better watch her. I think Mr. Pants is a comic. I recognize But I don't know who it is. You watch it yet. No Do you have Christine? Do you know this guy? I? Do you have Christine? Do you know this guy? I've never seen. I mean it's like a whole character. No, no, I don't know. I forget Mr. Pants. Not the Pants, the man in the pants. Yeah, the guy. I think I mean, I've got this to come clearly doing like a silly thing. The man that puts the pants on.

The man inside the pants. Not an interview with Christine Evans. The man inside the pants. Here you go. Good for them always eat and sauna on the show. Good for them always having man inside the pants. Here you go. Good for them always eat and sauna come to show. Good for them always having Asians in the audience. My name is Mr. Pants.

Mr. Pant, I don't know how to say it, but your fly is open and something is poking out. My closer! We do! Shut up you German bitch. Just show a show of fist and that crowd smile. I got a whole thing of hands. I'm paying for a different time. I'm 50s pants. Pipe down bitch.

Make me an old fashioned. I like it because I made a joke about your pants. Everything is coming and I make joke like your face, his penis coming out of the pants, several powerful men of porter penises out and showed me like your face, but they were actually penises. I bet she's had a life of guys just wag and tail, for sure. How many guys have got her? How many guys have got it? Look at this. A lot of guys have tried the trick Heidi Klum into looking at their pecker. Now, that's like the road runner in their Wiley Kioati. That's who gets unsolicited dick pick complaints.

That's someone who is there is a spam folder of dicks around the globe that people just go, I'm going to send it in hopes that she just takes a peek. Heidi Klum is at a Normandy amount of dick thrown at her. Yeah. She's storm to beat her D day. And she's made it out. Like, if they ever ask her kids ever, they're like, was it terrible?

She's like, there was a time in the late 90s that it was a hell. Everywhere I looked, I was penises. Well, she very publicly was linked up with an African black guy, which is to shut down a lot of people thinking they got a shot after that you know i mean you can follow ciel dude now she's dating like a hot like uh... like a pool boy kind of guy

sure but that guy's bringing that heat but there's if i was sending her dick picks unsolicited and then they were like she married cilago she's a care about my Dumped it. I don't think she would begin with their own solicit. No, no, no. If she didn't fuck seal She would think my dick room. No, I don't think she was like some German weener. Oh, I have such an embarrassment of riches All these penis pictures show up I can sing like I never mind. She fucking is dating a werewolf. Yeah, who's this? He's a husband, Rob Zombie. Hot Zombie?

I like that he is different and he plays instruments. He's a spooky man who can fuck me. Yeah. Alright, let's watch Mr. Pants. That was by close. By closeer. Yes. Well, Mr. Pants.

Mr. Pants, can we get the Q-tip for a sign over here? It's Mr. Pants. Okay, Mr. Pants, tell me where you're from. Brooklyn, New York. What is your danger? You've broken everywhere, y'all. Hey, let me start right here. Yo, Brooklyn everywhere, y'all.

You could beat a funeral in Najir and be like, where Brooklyn at? They get like, oh, damn. Yo, I be fucking bitches like, black-ass. Black-ass me. Black-ass dude. Hey, but since the pandemic, I've been virtually replaced by sweatpants.

Oh. It's said by the pandemic by the way. Wait, please. Comedian? Sir, yes, sir. I'm here to dazzle you at my stand-up comedy routine. So what's the dream, Mr. Pants? Vegas, baby.

Okay, I'm not going to ask any more questions, complete wasted time. Good luck. Thank you. I'll be right back. He walks up the stage to keep the crowd hanging by the seat of their pants. Is that a good pants joke? Blue one, what kind of a pants joke? Blue one, we're gonna have my pants jokes. Love your pants jokes.

We're on it. They're folded. We're gonna have a pants joke. You're Sir Pants! Terry Cruz. I hope his big brother's beating him up constantly. Father was missed the pants. Why?

They just like him. Look at the make this brief, I only got one day left on my return policy. I inherited my father's jeans. He immigrated here from a banana republic. So lady, that one lady really was though. They do show one person going like, the fuck's happening. Did you see that girl's face? Go back first.

Yeah, during this, when they realize it's gonna be pants puns, and then it starts sinking in, and they're like, I don't like this. I don't like this one bit. Yeah, she's like, is it gonna be all this? Yeah. This is what it is. But with guys like hammer pants,

look where the crotch is in those things. I inherited my father's jeans. He immigrated here from a banana republic. Say no, no. No, no, no. I'm faking. That fucking fat ham next door is, falling the pitch goes, I'm gonna say all these in my book club.

Were you talking about the wizard wife? Yeah. Yeah. I'm talking about Hulk Hogan now. Should I hate brother? We got karaoke Mondays at Hook and Peach. Jimmy the Method is so hard to me there. Did that girl over there, she's like, I don't like anything

about this. I love watching unaffected people when they cut in comedy. She's like, This is next. Bring in a child who plays Brock Violin. I always see people stack each other. It's very hard to be growing up. You used to call me a huge waste. Yeah.

You see, both of my parents wanted me become a lawyer. Never even came close to becoming a lawyer, but I was once involved in a suit. I bet the Rosa does love it. This is the Rosa-like stick. Sort of ironically, but he also got a red light on the camera. New was on Arsios. Oh! Heeey! There it is.

But I've since traveled the world. Went to Spain for Madly and La La La. I think he's got a red light on the camera. New was on Arsios. Oh! Heeey! There it is. But I've since traveled the world. Went to Spain for Madly and La La La. Yeah, there it is.

But I've since traveled the world went to Spain film Madly in Love with a Spanish sundress And we broke up and I was pantalonese She's Terry Cruz alright Damn if you're cow She's surprised too. Terry Cruz already. Oh my God. Damn! If you cow! How? The easily impressed man. Is he just impressed by everything?

Sure I'm glad I got my purple suit pressed. Dude. And love with a Spanish sundress. Oh my God. And we broke up and I was pantalonase. Yeah. I love him. But I'm happily married now.

By the way, go back again because I'm pretty sure it's ADR. And then later, I think it is. Which one? The howie? Yeah. Terry is saying, yeah. Look at his look around the face. I was pantolonies Yeah, nice. I am okay. I love him, but I'm happily married now. Oh My wife and I are poly

It's a polyester Fuck me. Oh Should hand out tomatoes. Let me say something If you enjoy this you're not welcome listening to the show anymore. I hope I I don't care if it cuts 80% of our listeners shit I won't have it. I won't have it. You can't like pure pun humor. They love them pure pun. They move them right on I wish they I forgot who the one who went before him just did the same exact thing with like I'm a school bus. You know, I mean it was like it was just instead of that. He's like I was something exactly like that. And they were like

they were like I don't get it stupid a bunch of puns about the same thing. I think after the Simon goes like he's I thought I hated puns. but then you did them. And it's just okay for some reason here. What if you walked into the stand, or like the seller and I was downstairs in the giant sock, doing sock puns? Oh, socky damn? Yeah, but not even.

My name on the lineup is just Jim Sox. Oh yeah. And I do like kind of naughty puns about jerking off, catching a bunch of com. What's the worst thing about it? All the clean up. I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can He's got to be a supporter of father. But I want to see your date someone to iron with a crease. This guy looked like he'd been donated. You have to get pretty much that out of your mind. You guys just laughed there to understand English.

Hey guys, I'd love to tell you more jokes, but unfortunately, I left to be my other pants. Fuck it so much, you're gonna love me, I'm tired of people. Alright. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Who do you think goes farther? Do you think him or the Man with two wives the voice tremendous with two wives The voice tremendous is a better shot his better story We've got a bit what if the guy's gonna do another like piece of clothing and write more put that this guy has no more opportunities You think the tank is low the next time he comes out even this size crowd again. He will fail Mark my words if he does Mr. Pants again Like if he tries to just do more of that you have to report back you guys watch a gt you got a you got a report back I wanted to watch yes today

but they put on a god damn best of instead because they're lazy on fourth of July weekend lazy I worked fourth of July weekend nobody else did up here to right just us yeah everyone's off we're fucking lunatics I hope you enjoy that campers I don't mean that aggressively. Look the way I sounded it. It did come out. Better fucking appreciate this. You piece of shit.

I sent Christina News story coming from Colorado. That's why it's always fun. About a funeral home operator who pleaded guilty into selling body parts. Wait, just for a quick. Do we do our just thing right now? We stopped. We went to Mr. Pants, but was that,

I thought that was en route to something. It was into the machine gun Kelly thing, but then Jacob was like, we're recording today, so we can't do video. Got you. So that's why I was like, this is just a news article. Oh, in my mind, he was like, I thought you should use sign that was like,

isn't J Fat? No. And then I just was like, and I started just just fixing the way I sit up. He was checking out the tits on him. There you go. And then I looked at my way. Hey, it's Jay's slobber. It's just me anyway. We'll talk after the show. Why would you write that? It's weird. All right, Jay. It was, I know. Dude, but this lady's sold body parts without the family members consent. Wow, she's got,

she's just hacking off arms and legs, Dicks, does she sell Dicks? Looks like my stepmom, Diane. That's what Diane looks like. Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss Maniac fuck face, but she has a similar hair face thing, huh? What could her body parts after they are now go to the article? It depends on rigging more to sit in and winged. That was a wing joke. Are you working on your wing jokes? Lou, that was a wing joke. Love it. Thank you Scientific buyers to medical and scientific buyers hundreds of thousands of dollars illegal bought in an illegal body part scheme

two people like practicing Fucking surgery and shit. I don't know you did they send it to like you know how you like dissect a frog in high school Do they just do that in like medical school? Like hey take a part this arm and they're like where did you get this arm? I thought it was always like full-body cadavers I don't know if I think yeah, Delved in parts you go true. I told you I told you you need a whole body We're just working on arm stuff Trish told me when she dies. I'm supposed to donate her body to the University of Colorado I'm sorry for that. Oh, no put down the proton pack

She's gonna face up a 20 years in prison for doing it. How is Trish gonna come back and be a ghost if you're giving air? So some fucking Chinese exchange, Dr. Student can fuck her while she's dead. Why they got a fucker? Why can't they just look at her liver? Because that's not what they do. They look at her liver and then they put her back together with stitches and then they go in there and they fuck them or they're gonna stare at your mom's pus, dude. And I don't want that for Trish and that was my first home that was my first place yeah you can learn a bunch of people in your first place check it out

Hey guys, it's not Siding still holding up. What if that's the caveat when I don't enter body I go But I have to be in the room at all times with the body when you take the body out You will not fuck my dead mother do what if they are practicing with your dead mom making like a dick out of pussy stuff and then they just put a wheel on your dead mother, dude? I finally have a dad. I finally have a dad, I could fuck her. Oh, it all makes sense now. I could, they turn Trish into...

Or if Harry. Or if they do that when you don't, they go, thank you. We've never been able to operate on her Mafferdyte before. My mom's a Mafferdyte. Oh my god. I had both in one You don't like that. You get for any idea. Hey, why they go we're trying to see how big a tits We can do fake tits. So we're gonna put double G's on her and oh my god Put her in the cocktail dress and you're like no Portrist just blew with a monster cans

Or if you put a Zonga's hanging off the table.'s you guys see all the pictures of Nancy Pelosi They tweeted out with her fat tits now, dude damn just yes Just some gloves some gloves on yeah, dude. I didn't realize that's how she's getting elected so many times in San Francisco She's down on Geary Street fucking showing them tits Did the post damn dude Michael Rainey is so funny on the table. I'll tell you what, I think we're gonna get right just on the front of those, too.

He wrote, on second thought, I can spare $15 Nancy. What's your cash app, girl? I love Michael Rainey. I'm telling you, I think those nipples are in a decent place, though. Damn, dude. You know what I mean? They're not pointing south yet.

Those things are still forward a little bit. You're saying Nancy's place is got perky big tits? No. No, they're not perky. There's swingers, but I'm telling you the nipples are still like, there may be 45 degrees. If you go a line from the nipple about 15 feet in front of you, you're going to hit the ground. Yeah, but I'm telling you that's way better than like, those size titties can have dips point straight down. She's holding together the polos. Is that her fat kids? Is there gross? Is it weird that I said better than

both of you houses? Which one of you ate my lunch? I'm gonna steal your boyfriend. Oh better not bring them around the bay. I had sex with E 40. Oh man. Pelosi's daughter. I'm sucking on Nancy Pelosi's big ass fat tits. Is that her kids? I don't know. I don't know. If it's her kids, the one on the left looks like

the one who's got a good personality because that one, even though she's unattractive, is like the mouthy one. She's the big personality. Yeah. And the girl on the left is just like sweet. Hey, I'm sweet I'm just here to be a sweetie pie. She's nice. Would you donate your body to science? You think there's absolutely they're gonna fuck you 100% fuck rate pulverize my

Creamy I'm I'm creamy burn me up and put me in a canister. It's fine Don't mean a toilet. I really don't give a shit But you want to be cremated, but don't not mess it with your body What about a casket? What if Isabella puts you in a casket and a suit? Either be a caveat to I'd say are you gonna have my body for science put Christine? You have to promise to cut my dick off before I before the ambulance gets there That's crazy. I don't be looking at my dead soft weiner. No way. It doesn't matter.

What if I'm looming over it? What if Christine gets you hard in the last breath and you're like, hold. Yeah, my God, I'm gonna go. I see the light. Christine's our jack-in. Oh, God. I see it.

Oh, but throw your mouth a little bit. Oh, God. I think this is really it. Oh, it's so glory. Pop, pop, mom, mom. Christine, please, fucking put some effort in this. Please some shoulders to it. Well, yeah, what about to be a big dog?

Huh, huh. Oh, there it is. There's a big gut. Or you just want Christine to lose her love and then be like, all right, where's the knife? I gotta cut off his neck. Yeah. Don't let the world see.

You know what, I'll let you be the job and you make a judgment call, but do not give me to science if my dick looks really little. If you promise. If it's looking good. Christine, you look at me right now, and you promise.

You promise. Look at me in my sunglasses and promise. I promise. You look at the best, you look at me. You're not getting hard. You can see my fucking annoying. You look at the fucking best damn poker player arena when you tell him. Oh yeah.

Christine, you want to fuck tonight? You can be in your fucking fat Richard Belzer. Shit. What? What are you supposed to do? Psycho Jack for an hour? No, no baby. The Bell's a giver.

Dude, I love that. I love those drops. Hey, my spirit of essence, do you Psycho Jack for an hour? Why am I turned on and I'm not wet? Because Belzer's an older gentleman. You don't even know why you're turned on. Sing it, sister. The Bell's a dock. what because bells is an older gentleman you don't even know why you're turned on saying it sister the bells um

the doc oh dude they took the money that they made from selling body parts back to this new york times article and then it helped them become the cheapest option for cremations in the region increasing their supply of cadavers authority said families tip we pay to thousand dollars or more for cremation that often never occurred. So see, you're gonna sign up for a fucking cremation and they're just gonna sell you, they're just gonna sell your parts. What's that they sold? No, Christine, you gotta watch me fucking. Hundreds of occasions the funeral home operators would sell heads, torsos, arms, legs, or entire human bodies.

That's a good Sunday sauce right there. Frequently, they delivered cremated remains to families. With the suggestion they were the remains of their relative, when in fact, they were not. Yeah, damn. The torso, you don't actually eat it though, but you just get like the old front. It's for the broth.

It's for the broth. Look at that. Is the hospital just saying, not checking checking they're just saying give the bot Meet me up back and give me a bag ahead General home maybe there's some maybe there's some system because said they were forging paper work Well, they could also they could be there could be a hospital that's like money ball in it I don't know like let's get the cheapest it's get the cheapest bodies we can get I like the night was gonna fake funeral home was just like a vampire layer where you get laid first

Remember that no or Delo of blood. Oh my god bordello blood on HBO Was don't HBO was a movie theater movie it was tails from the fails from the Crypto movie it had titties in it. Oh, yeah, it was a Corey Feldman in that. Oh, yeah, Bordello blood Corey Feldman wasn't it. He was a bit with vampire and Uh, I think it was a series Dennis Miller. Well, it was Dennis. It was like it was Tails, McCrypt Wasn't a vampire movie that's I watched demon night. That wasn't a vampire. It was just the other Tails, McCrypt movie what's more what sexier but Bordello of blood or Dustold on Oh dust old sexier, Bordello of blood or dust-told on. Ooh, dust-told, duh.

What do you mean, sexier? What's sexier, Jack? What's sexier about Bordello blood? It's a fucking brothel. Oh, yeah. It's all my hikes. And absolutely for sure, but Salma Hikes, not, I think even Angie Everhart, I think, might show some tit

in this, and she was really hot at the time She doing that dated Howard Stern Yeah, I think they definitely fucked so they probably dated a little bit. I mean she's definitely fucked I think he said that on the show is that correct? Yeah, I think he's talking about on the show Like he's not he hasn't been like I mean house what I know for sure You know I was there was great. Well, we talk. Yeah, we were the chess club together Um, I couldn't imagine being like we're gonna find a head in this town Samaheik all day long not arguing that you're talking about the overall movie

I think more dillow blood was rooted much more in like a sex thing this Had these scenes and then it went to vampire. Yeah, pure vampire vampire survival. And before that, it was like a pedophile fucking rape being stopped for the first hour of the movie. Yeah, so real nice, everybody. Real nice to say that. Oh, is that Virginia Madsen too? Dan, you know everybody. Is that her?

I don't know if that's her. Virginia Madsen, that's Michael Madsen's sister. She used to show cans a lot. Yeah, she used to be great back in the day love her yeah that's a old celebrity sleuth name there Dan Virginia Madsen also be verna candid shot is this all Bordeaux blood tits yeah but you see this is this in Bordeaux blood probably yeah ah it's fake yeah Yeah, that would be one of the last. It's just a screen of a...

Ah! I just turned around and it was much bigger on the screen behind me. Gabon! Yeah, but they'll have blood sucked, but, ooh. It sucked, but, uh, Look at them vampire titties. Yeah, really.

Age glossy. That watermelon's really good. Pfft. How dare you. Yeah, she's hot. They got caught, so what's their problem? They're gonna faint 20 years in prison, I think. Wow, she ain't gonna make that forging paperwork. When you die, does your weiner like get relaxed

so it looks big when you're dead or does it shrink? Oh Christ. I hope big Dick you looked that up Christ I mean that's the ultimate nightmare. I bet it shrinks. I bet it shrinks into a little fucking love Because you're not listening to show. That's the whole thing. I said I don't my dick scene Yeah, I bet I bet when you're With you I'm out Yeah, because I know in clerks the original clerks They're the thing where that girl

fucked that dead guy in the bathroom. And that was my scientific knowledge that you could have a boner and hold a boner as a dead man. Well, I get all my signs from Kevin Smith films. Yeah, dude. I like a dude in a hockey jersey. Antlers. When one of your friends make an antlers one day.

Eating pretzels. No, there's tusks. They make a tusks. Eating pretzels covered in shit. Totally. By the way way it's pretty funny they would give people body parts and so they didn't have HIV and hepatitis and then they did Jesus Christ well I guess he tested positive of course it's gonna suck if you bought that head to fuck them out does this thing have absi and they go clean as it was no no

no dude yeah why do you why do you want? What are you gonna do with the head? He goes, nothing. If you have sex with this thing, it could be dangerous. He goes, I'm not gonna. I'm still thinking about that guy. Who's the typo negative guy that we talked about? Peter Steele. You're still thinking about his penis?

Yeah, because Christine said it's perfect. She did, didn't she? So it's probably a good dead too. Oh yeah. Christine, Google the words perfect penis an image Sorry, little what are you for? You're gonna fucking salivate all over your board is I don't need to get a boner in work This time hold it in whiskey Perfect pussy afterwards

Yes, we got to say what the perfect pussy is I'm gonna straighten you out. I think perfect pussy afterwards. Yeah, we can't say what the perfect pussy is. We're gonna straighten you out. I think perfect pussy is no, yeah, you two worried. You can tell if she got the boner from that. Yeah, you can tell it's actually. Christine, look at perfect pussy first. So Luke can say that's what his boners from. I'd say that one in the middle.

Too late, we're out there. Dead middle, perfect. Christine, I mean, that's pretty great. That one's good. You're pretty great that one's good that's nice perfect penis perfect penis turn in on blue yeah these are classics look at those classic pieces this one's a charm these are like Coca-Cola this one's a gem gem. Here's for a fucking lonely Sunday, maybe. It'd be crazy though, if you Googled that and you were one of the results,

like you recognized your body. And you're like, that's me. What a great deal. Could you imagine that great feeling you'd have and go, shut up. It's just, do I know you from somewhere? He's like, yeah, you do. They've ever Googled perfect penis.

It also has a lot to do with the seeming of the ball bag Go down go down about three rows and tell me a second from the left and If things haven't changed much in the last month, it's gonna be me. I like Disagree I thought no here's where I said I knew when you looked up perfect pussy It was gonna be just that it's just a hundred percent in ease, but I don't always think that's the most perfect looking pussy. Yeah I like when they shout at the devil. Yeah. I want to say shout.

Shout. It's too, it's very young, young for everything to just be like peach and pink. I always loved that. I like some miles on it. I always loved that Doug Stanhope Jokey did about Dr. Drew where he was like a rehabilitation specialist for celebrities. That's like if I was a gynecologist that only specialized in hairless pink perfect Scandinavian pussy.

We have Dr. Drew's gonna be on skanks Monday. What? You're getting the fucking Dr. Drew. We're gonna talk choke jerk. Oh man, that's crazy. Love lines getting split up. You guys got Dr. Drew in and I'm supposed to do Adam Corolla show when he comes to New York.

Yeah, I'm doing that in Corolla show too. Hell yeah, why didn't they put us together? He asked me and Lewis to do it for some reason. I'm with Jim Norton. Yeah, I'm gonna do it with Lewis and we've decided to make it so funny because Dave so in with like Rogan that we just, they don't skanks today.

We're like, yeah, we're doing like, the most popular podcast ever, Adam Corolla. Dave, he didn't ask for you. He's gonna do Legion of Skanks, but he didn't ask for me and Lewis only, so. Oh, Corolla's gonna do Skanks? You're not gonna get that Corolla pop, yeah. Not at all.

You're not gonna get that Corolla pop, but I have fun, I guess, doing whatever you're doing is fine too. I'm telling you right now, I was a love-line fan. Worlds are colliding like this is pretty fucking cool Oh, yeah, yeah, for sure. I mean I listen to four years of love line every night running the board Yeah, I'm excited to say it got a big if David Allen Greer showed up a Chit dad do I love dad do you well the best guests on love line? He was always hilarious on love line big dad guy Dude love David Allen Graham.

Was there an unloving color fan? And loved plank man? Yeah, I don't. I love them when I was younger. He did some really funny thing. Hell yeah. And then I liked them on love line. Amazon women on the moon. I'm saying, what's the commercial resings?

Dude, David Allen Greer, Amazon women on the moon. It's so, you just play the... Too many, too many. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's like singing like it's a Christmas song, but yeah, yeah blacks for that soul Stayed hungry. It is so funny. He was awesome Wasn't he the dad on the car Michael show he was good on that was he yeah, we've got an older guy in that Yeah, but I loved dude when I would listen to love line I go get high off that terrible Arizona weed with sticks and stems in it come This is I came I came into weed at the tail end of

Put the concept now of having the pull seeds out of we would be just breaking up Huh you'd just get like long fucking plates and you'd have to like no I know but the concept now of having seeds in your weed. Oh, yeah, let's me at seeds and weed I remember getting a bag of weed that had so many seeds that you just had to like sit there and be like, pull them on. You just lost interest at a point where you'd be like, you know, go get beer. I just smoked the seeds.

This fucking sucks, but you would sweep it aside and have like, you'd have like a thing of weed and then it would go down to like this much weed. And then when chronic showed up and they're like doesn't have seeds like what bro shut your fucking cock mouth. Yeah, but I'd smoke that shitty ass Arizona weed and man love line got me through some nights. Do you have that Christine? You said Amazon woman on the moon right? Yeah David Alangrier. What exactly from it? It's a sketch where he's like singing. It's good commercial. BB King introduces him. Oh yeah.

It's a PSA. Damn, that's good recall. Blacks without soul. It's a fine, you never saw a movie? Amazon Women on the Moon? Yeah, really fine. It's one of those like, is it Kentucky Fried movie like that too?

It's like Vignettes? Yeah. Which one's better? Like Amazon women on the moon I think it's Amazon I think it's a complete uh yeah yes yes turn it back go back to be getting of it so funny I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Did you know that every seven minutes a black person is born in this country without soul? Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-Gim-G I'm chiming chiming chiming chiming chiming chiming Would love to run away when I shake hands with you Or below me have kisses and that's lucky too

Oh dude, there's a... ...haha Hey, why? Why do you... Why do you? Why do birds suddenly appear sung by the man who turned the personal affliction into a recording career? Don no soul Simmons. Just like me, they long to be close to you.

Why do stars fall down? This is one of the funniest things, Arsenio Hall in Amazon with Malino 2, which is him coming. It's a good slapstick thing. When that movie come out, maybe 85. Oh, rather than that, I think. Really?

It's one of those ones that I haven't even heard of until today, and I'm blown away, I haven't heard about it. Because it's like, what was the other one? What was the one with Weird Out, UHF? Yeah. It was like one of those ones that I haven't even heard of until today. And I'm blown away, I haven't heard about it. Cause it's like, yeah, what was the other one? What was the one with weird out UHF? Yeah. It was like one of those movies. It's a terrible film.

Terrible film. That one didn't really have like a room, oh yeah, that was pretty fun. I like to stay tuned more than that. Stay tuned rule, John Ritter. Yeah. It's pretty bad though. I was a small child.

Amazon women on the moons really made me laugh. Yeah. And there's like a one-through line story happening It's like ridiculous and then it should a bunch of those vignettes, but our sending a haul One of the funniest things, but you know it's hilarious. There was a thing in it I think it came up for a while because it's There was like a telling of the future in Amazon women of the moon because there's one sketch that's dating and Like she has like some app not an app, but like her

computer like she ran them on the computer member and tells you like everything about this guy like it's bad and the guy's like, whoa, okay, and I was like, oh, because then when you were 14 years old, you did that. You go, we're masturbating in the thick. I'm like, it really is like that now. Before you date someone, you can find out so much shit about them. Oh, yeah. But that it was Gutenberg, I think, right? Was it Steve Gutenberg? Yeah, I think you're shit about them. Oh yeah. But it was Gutenberg I think, right?

Was it Steve Gutenberg? Yeah, I think you're right about that. Who knows? I'm gonna rent this shit. Dude, Amazon will move the dating app. So you just wanna see if it's Steve Gutenberg. Not dating app. Date.

Just type in date. Well, that was her typing. Did you hear it? Did everybody hear it? I didn't fucking suck. Yeah, I never saw Kentucky Fried movie better. It was the same thing. I was watching Blazing Saddles.

Why are you still swimming around in your daddy's nuts sack? Oh, yeah. There it is. I don't remember how fired up you were. It's, uh, yeah. There it is. This one? No, no, no. It's, uh, that video date one's going to be censored

because that's got all kinds of nudity. There's a Yarsinio Hall thing I thought we couldn't do video. We're not I'm not I'm just saying it was Steve Goomba. I just wanted to see if it was Steve Goomba up top Yeah, it's got everybody Michelle Fiverr isn't it? Yeah, it was like a real like Is that how is that women? Was she in that too? I? Don't remember that I don't remember all the vignettes because it's been so long Well, they're off when they actually get to the movie at the end I don't remember that. I don't remember all the vignettes because it's been so long. You can turn it off when they actually get to the movie at the end.

It's all vignettes leading up to the actual movie Amazon. Well, I thought that was, I thought it's throughout. I think it's like they come back and forth to it a bunch. Right. Is that movie suck? No. It was the least funny thing. All the vignettes are the funny part.

The joke of it is mostly that it's like bad special. If they're making fun of like the 50s, yeah, star checks better. So everything's like obviously on like strings and stuff like that, you know. Dude, I'm always surprised when the shit where you're like from the 80s and 90s were like, I didn't even hear of that.

How did I not forget that? What's the last slapstick movie? Well, we're gonna get into this again. Some shitty... We brought up Stone of Films and forgot like, 20 years. Well, we're gonna get into this again some shit. We brought up stoner films and forgot like Well some shitty some shitty Leslie Nielsen like last one where he stopped giving a fuck Oh Dracula dead loving it sure something like that. That's actually funny. It wasn't that good It was pretty bad. I like all three naked gun movies. I think all three of them are really funny 33rd and the third absolutely great. That's what that anacol Smith do they do they don't slapstick anymore

Scary movie Was that kind of slap no scary movie is that's the same kind of thing that was the last one of those but those were the last I'm saying after that went away. It's It's not that they tried to do that again with another I thought they were doing that with like not another team movie or like shit like that So those were the ones. Oh, yeah, the epic movies and things like that. Yeah, those were slapstick they come out But slapstick just I don't feel like it plays anymore does it? I Don't know do I think you get away with some goofy ass shit in the fucking eighties 90s

You could put out some real Maybe airplane is just like literally it's a guy. It's like pouring gasoline themselves. Yeah, yeah, that's joke. Joke, joke, joke. It's all jokes. But the jive guys like everything would be like, did white men make these characters of jive guys talking? Like it's a different fucking way.

Yeah, they're also smoking inside when they made airplane. That movie. I love the airplane. Those guys actually the story behind the the jive guys in airplane is when they got the airplane. Those guys actually, the story behind the, the jive guys in the airplane is when they got the script, the Zuckerbrother's, Zuckerbrother, whoever the maker, so they wrote their own jive dialogue and it was atrocious.

It was so bad. So they created a language. So they made all that up for the movie. The guy in the actors that played the final regal, there's no jive. So they had to invent. There's no real jive. I'm not ready to invent it.

I don't call it right. Yeah. I always thought they were incredible actors because they they created this an actual language for the movie. Yeah, I got something in season three. And I'm going to suck my own dick here a little bit. Season three of 21 Jump Street. Somewhere in there, we're me, Dan and Ari, we're watching. Sure, that's six in jump.

21 Jump Street, you should have six in jump to return one day. TBD. Skankfest, maybe, we said. Yeah, I think we're gonna do a live watch long. Skankfest. For sure, but there was a coach shaved face. Yeah.

Coach on an episode. I remember. Yeah. Where do I go? Where's this guy from? Where's he? First I call that go. Is it the baseball coach?

Yes. I go. It's one of the, it's one of the jive guys from Airplane looked it up on IMDB. Son of a bitch if it wasn't. It was also just in case you didn't, I don't know. Christine looked that up. In case you didn't know this episode of 21 Jump Street

And this one had Del Louise Peter Del Louise was on the baseball team, but he's a cop But he was the fucking God. He was the man on their baseball team. He literally will get them disqualified from any kind of like tournament play Fuck fuck a Dominican kid forging his birth certificate. This is worse Fuck the kid is a public servant and he's going yard on a kid blew the stats. Gonna cost people scholarships for sure. Some kids aren't gonna go to school now in the fall because fucking he cracks a home or when's the game. We're in there. Like games no one void now. You're a cop. You're a fucking adult playing with kids.

Yeah. And by the way, show us. In the show. In the show, bad it around. He was having so much fun and realized that he misplaying sports, batting around just staying and trying to go pro from pretending to be on high school team. It's crazy. That's a fun conversation. We're like, we want you to get drafted. He goes, okay, well, here's the thing. I'm actually a cop. I'm a cop. Does he look remotely like he could have been in high school back then? I don't know.

Everyone in the 80s, older, everyone in the 80s looked older and very young at the same time. Where are the drive guys in the lineups? I got to tell you, it's bummed out that the jive lady, who's the mom from a leave it to beaver. She's already passed her in the credits. So jive lady white lady Higher up the credit than the guys who talked to the only reason her character exists No, that's because her name is Barbara Billingsley. It's Loo off the top

Did you buy an arm from that lady to shove up my ass? Move that camera. Now move it back to me The Jay Watch this camera now move over to me camera. You know which one I'm talking about the eye in the sky Look at me you son of a bitch Yeah, look move, move to me. Come to me. Yeah.

That one's doing it. No dude, I just watched that one move and it moves to me sometimes. That one's. They're always watching. They're filming us and they move around when they look this one right. Always watching.

Yeah. Hey, other camera, move. You see me? Tell that one to move. Tell your friend, just pull out of gun. We're all fucking Dude don't touch that dude Don't touch it. It was happy you

That's good the fucking oh no Listen, I know we did enough though video and we did some video Let's take our last break come back and watch this machine gun Kelly trailer Okay, cuz we did a whole hour of him. Second job dude. Al White. Yeah, we got it. We're in the clear. Where's first job? See you bro to get that booty. Yeah, the back of me. She is. We'll be right back. It's the bonfire.

And now back to the bonfire with big J. Ocarus in and Dan Soder. A serious XM Faxi Talk 103, I'm Dan Soder, that's Big J. Ocarus in. If Big J. Ocarus is going to be an Albany New York at the funny bone and I'm going to tell you right now, you better watch out because it's dangerous. The stuff that he says is insanely dangerous. If, if you're brain can handle it, go see Big Jail C. I've been told that his words do cause damage. He's so bad that all streaming platforms can't deal with them. They said he's too naughty of a boy. Albany funny bow July 8th and 9th Breakdown comedy club Oklahoma City July 14th through 16th and he's hosting

Linus Day show and just for last mantra all end of the month big J comedy comm It's pure gasoline Yo Tacoma Washington if you're ready if you're ready to battle through walls of Antifa if you can get to the front doors If you can handle real truth coming from a real man Dan Soters making his way up to you Tacoma Washington Tacoma comedy club July 21st through the 23rd after that Oklahoma be on the lookout Phoenix through the 23rd after that Oklahoma be on the lookout Phoenix Tuck your grandmother's away because dance coming to town. He's gonna fucking go there dangerous comedy sells now He's going and we are two of those there dangerous naughty boys out there. You're thinking it. He's saying it

God, we're so naughty. We're so naughty that everyone's like these boys are so dangerous Yo, with the drug sensor me you drag on a stand the way they think about the world is different and that So naughty, we're so naughty that everyone's like these boys are so dangerous. Yo, the joke's censoring me. You know, I gotta stand the way they think about the world is different and that's what's upsets, that's where it sets everyone. Yo, mom, I'm fuck all these haters, right? Ah! Ah, for real.

Go out and back to the show. Jay's got nothing to watch tonight, so he's probably watching this machine gun. We watched the trailer for machine gun Kelly's Comedy stoner comedy movie, which you know, yes, look Look like he could act you can act, but now he's got a documentary that you said you're gonna watch Is this one where he puts the shotgun in his mouth with Megan Kelly? Megan Fox make it Fox. I think he's from Fox news Or something that they just talked about?

They're probably talking about. Is this like his way to be like, no, this is why I left for app. Oh, he's, I don't think he's gonna, he's gonna, if he says anything, he's gonna use this to reiterate that it's not that at all. You know, I mean, he's gonna reiterate to like, no, this is where my heart was with like making like music for 12 year old girl. Yeah, you're just see that when I'm dressed as gonna reiterate that like no, this is where my heart was with like making like music for 12-year-old girl Yeah, you're to see that when I'm dressed as a big Scott sock. Yeah, yeah I'm a big no, this is where my comedy heart was the whole time Danny sock. Yeah, when I'm downstairs

Instead of Danny Hawk your Danny sock machine gun Kelly says he put a shotgun in his mouth While on the phone with Megan Fox. I just fucking snapped Wait, here's a deal for saying that when he's older and be like, how dramatic he was being that dumb day. I don't think he will. I don't think he will. I think this is like he's being crazy rewarded for acting like that. What's he saying? What was so bad? I don't know. I think his dad died. Yeah, I'm yelling on the phone and the barrels in my mouth make it like dead silent. Machine gun Kelly opens up about a suicide attempt, which led the singer to making some big changes in his personal life.

I'm so fucking dangerous and disheartened. I'm so fucking dead. I'm so fucking dead. I'm so fucking dead. I'm so fucking dead. I'm so fucking dead. I'm so fucking dead. I'm so fucking dead.

I'm so fucking dead. I'm so fucking dead. I'm so fucking dead. I'm so fucking dead. I'm so fucking dead. I'm so fucking dead. the best self sabotager I've ever seen. What the fuck? That's badass. That's crazy. I'm so fucking dangerous and disturbed. Yeah, no one fucks up more than me. No one. I straight fucks up better than any mother fucker.

All I do is drop the ball. I drop the ball constantly. Fumble, Rusky. Hey, hand me that. Oops. Oops. Your juice is on the floor now oops and I did it because you don't like me anymore because I'm self I'm a self-sabotor Self self-sabotor You can find me under the same auto assassin

Self I step on my own feet. I trip myself No one's better than self-sabotons. I keep my pants tight around my ankles. I don't wipe my butts while I always smell like shit. I'm a self-subitual. I know I got a pee, but I just don't pull my pants down. God damn it dude, everyone is so fucking corny now. Everyone is so fucking corny. Dan, I'm gonna give Ben and Fiddler the doubt to these people. Dude, Jay, you're dangerous. I am. I'm a dangerous guy. I just pulled your comedy dates and I know how fucking dangerous I'm gonna give benefit of doubt to these dude Jay you're dangerous. I am so I can listen to you I just pulled your comedy dates and I know how fucking dangerous. I just know because you're 39 you're 39 now Yeah, I'm 44 I'm saying I'm 44 so I'm just telling you you're and Lou could tell you by the

Bossa Dangerous 44 of course you're like I'm swinging. Yeah, do not fucking Dangerous 44 of course, you know, come swing it. Yeah, do not fucking The Saint your granddaddy's comedy that's the god You're a dangerous 44 series basically like you're 22. I don't disagree with you. However, I'm saying You're talking over because you want me to say it. What you don't want to hear it say it because 39 It's you might as well be 40. No, I'm sorry. I honestly am walking around it's 40 in my head I'm saying so you might as well be 40 in the sense to like exactly I'm like you mentally for what you are is you remember

Laughing at a st it dude. It was Bert Christchurch saying to me You can do both when I gave my story of like that's when I told my parents like I can't quit this I got to put it all into it or I can't do it at all and he was like you could have went to college during the day Yeah, it's only in at all. And he was like, you could have went to college during the day. Yeah. It was only in the morning and I was like, yup. Like I was gonna argue back and I went, yeah, I just, I didn't like college.

What I should say in the stories, I didn't like college at all. So I had a great excuse when I did come and I go, I like this. Yeah. And I just tell my mom, I'm doing this all the time because you can only really do it as much as you can do it. Yeah, dude.

Yeah. She probably, I think, she probably, somebody you have to think like, what about the other like four days a week that you're home? Yeah, you're also a baby sad also. You're not like headlining. Yeah, I baby sad also for them,

so they don't mind having that kind of help either. But like at the same time, it is funny. But again, it's just so fun, but again, it's the dramatic. But you know what I'm saying, the dramatic. Like I said that girl one time, I told you the story of her like stabbing the floor of the knife being like, no, I think it's real. I'm sure she's had so many normal times in her life since then where someone's got to think back on that and be like, I mean, maybe she doesn't, but like, probably have

like a, wow, what a dramatic thing. Jamie, it's very dramatic. It's very dramatic. You know, when you're late and you go, I used to throw everything I eat. What a dumbass. Every time I had a crush on a girl and I was like, this doesn't work out. This is fucking crushing it now.

I'm like, you weirdo. It was clear shit, no interest in you. And you're like, but what if? It's like, you have to look back. I think there's zero chance machine gun Kelly looks back at this when he's older and is like, nah. That's why I've tried to not before shows. Like I told you, when I did new faces, ironically we were talking about it today.

When I did new faces, standing in the back, waiting to go on, I was next and staring at a picture of like, baby Isabella and being like, I'm going to do something here. This is going to change our lives so I can give you a good, it did nothing. Number one. Also, that was when I got the intro. It was Sean Cullen. Yeah. He's a comic from Canada, and he's just gonna style.

Not even insulting him, he's funny comic. I don't know much of his stuff, but he's a good guy. Also, he's intros, they had him host. Mm-hmm. And he's a terrible host. And I remember getting ready to go on stage and I go, here we go, and he goes, you're next. I'm like, all right, here we go. And he goes next I'm like all right here we go and he goes all right

Are you guys ready for your next comic your next comic comes from a he comes in a spaceship for far far down a space from from the planet Mars No, no, he's not from the planet Mars at all. He's actually from a New York City everybody big joke I said and was just so many words and they were just like what like all of that culminating into a name You've never heard before and they were just like what? Like all of that culminating into a name you've never heard before and they were just like I went first and just like fucking did what evs and then you went back and yeah like that picture moment yeah you can look back at that and be like that was silly because it's not that dramatic yeah do you know I'm saying I but it makes for the great thing in the movie of course it does when I looked over my dead father's corpse at his funeral and I said I will not be you.

I Know they had to cremate them. I'm saying just actually I think my grandma sold them. Just any of the things like there's drama but you need it because drama fuels a motion for sure But it's just like you look at put in the picture of the guy you're fighting next like in the fucking corner of the mirror So it's like the mirror you go me and this guy's like you don't like to overdo that. Yes, I think, just train hard and like whatever, he goes, I'm motivated, looking at this guy. I think it'll make me do the thing. I think life in pink, which is on Hulu, the machine gun

Kelly documentary, is gonna be all of those moments. It's just gonna be like a highlight film of those moments. Oh, if him being like, I gotta do do I gotta make some changes. Let's watch the trailer Let's toss it to the trailer Christine Yeah, it's absolutely gonna be that I'll tell you right now from that one sentence We go this isn't always how it is Sometimes it's fucking fucked up sometimes I'm sitting by myself underneath a private jet. Don't think anyone saw me coming. This is 112th and Duff.

We always had these big dreams. Ladies and gentlemen, how you all feelin'? I like that energy. First music video I ever shot was right there in front of that ADM Delhi. I got a gun pulled on me right here. I was like, we're gonna do this with my daughter in the car. His dad ended up kicking him out. So, me and Kels lived in a basement.

I'm trying to transfer all my own pain to music. This makes me feel good. The media chose to write me off. Damn. Love him. This makes me feel good. But the media chose to write me off. Damn. Love him. The MCD, he's a... Here's what I gotta say about positive.

This is what I think will be the through line when I watch this. Conomer Granger's is drunk and Irish. She's like, fuck her. Or like, like, poor men like that. If this guy's story was the same exact story, borderline say same talent, but he was ugly or had dad bod. None of this happens. All of his things majored blessed

with his like he's a very good looking guy. Do you know what I mean? And he's also like, and he's like the quintessential type. You can dress him again. And he's sponed thin. So you could dress him in anything. He'd be the tatted up dude. All you're saying if he had moobs in a weird chin, ed Sheeran with his level of talent, each shit. He's just doing fucking open mic night in a barbecue joint.

That fucking ginger freak looks like a goddamn thumb with the, with the mop top. Moves in a dream. Doesn't get him anywhere. No, it gets him nowhere. Get you the night shift at Target. This guy, he just had a cool look because he's always like known how to like rock his look. Yeah. And it's been different looks. But that's the point

of being like a handsome skinny person. You could, whatever. He's also probably swinging a hammer of a cock. He's like, I'm into my, I'm into my spike phase. I'm into a lot of spikes. Oh, like Pearl necklace. He'll wear it now. It's like, yeah, it's a ridiculous ship, but like, never. Shows your fashion. Should we dress like machine gun Kelly, both of us, we we're wearing out. It's like, yeah, it's a ridiculous ship, but like, you know, fashion. Should we dress like machine gun Kelly, both of us, we're just one day. The next day in there. Should we get him on the show?

Tell you right now, serious people, where's my camera? I got two on here right now, dude. Listen. See, look, it moved. It moved. Hey, down on me, get a aerial of me. No, you're over here.

You're over here and you're over there. You're over there. If you get machine gun Kelly to do a in-person interview on our show, every member of the show will dress exactly like you should. And a different machine gun Kelly will look? Yeah, from a picture. Yeah. We'll all mimic a picture.

I'm thinking about going in a three-piece sleeveless suit. Oh, dude, I want that one. It's like weird mesh. I want to wear a hookah necklace that he's got on right there. Yeah, I'm going to do a, maybe maybe like a I wear parachute pants and like a pink sleeveless turtleneck. I'm gonna wear I'm gonna get my ear pierced with a vial of Katie's blood. Yes I'm a dye my tongue black. I don't know what style I'm going with there's so many to choose from What kind of asshole do you want to be?

That's really what kind of stupid asshole do you want to look like you want to look like a fucking super gothic Stupid asshole or a pink loud and proud dumb asshole Maybe a sharp suit dumb asshole go down Christine Yeah, that might be you Dan. Yeah, it might be me the checkered with no shirt under it. Jacob's like it's real It's a real it's real talking heads meets an asshole. Yeah, I think Jacob's gonna go more for his second and command van Pire Prince look No, it's the red. I think it's the red there on the bottom. Yeah, there Man with the face glitter on it. Yeah, a little face glitter also Let me see if I could find my look here.

I think something a little bag here. I can make my hair look all jerk off you like that. Oh my talking about it. I got spiky hair. Ain't no better. Who the hell do I think I am? Ain't nobody. He put your slits on your phone.

I'm excited for it. I'm excited for it. I'm excited for it. Megan Fox. Yeah, dude. Have Christine dress like machine gun. Kelly, you dress like Megan Fox. Oh my god, it's going to be so great. And then I'm'm excited for she got. I'm excited for like Megan Fox. Yeah, dude have Christine dress like machine gun Kelly You dress like mega oh my god. It's gonna be so great. And then I'm excited for DJ Lou Yeah, I'll say well. I'm committing to I'm wearing a thong. You're gonna see my nuts big in the front

Just so my dick's never gonna feel bigger than trying to be covered up by a little thong patch you guys got a weird matching pink I bet my dick looks really ugly and thong underwear though. I would like to see DJ Lou and Michelle wearing the white and pink outfits. Yes, also I guarantee I think I could speak freely on behalf of Lou's girlfriend. Indeed, she will also dress machine gun Kelly-ish. Uh, we're gonna make it work. Uh, let's go back to this documentary trailer. Oh yeah, we've had three minutes left.

Damn, these weeks are like, oh, okay, sweet. Some taking things too far throwing tree branches and beverages at him. Most putting that right there. I can't stay forever, let's break the sand. We made such an incredible piece of work. For me, it was like working on an uplink album. I loved it, like it was my own. The fans loved it, but the world was rooting against us.

It's music sucks. You just sell out. People say that's the fun my dad, but you only see one side. I'm going to a daughter's volleyball game at 9.30 in the morning. Yeah, it's going to make daughter's volleyball game at 9.30 in the morning. Yeah, it's gonna make me like him. Yeah. Yeah. So far a lot.

Last time I heard from him, I was like, I love you so much and I'm so sorry for how he lives this life together. He's a little over the communicator. He's a little over the communicator. Jay's gonna come in and gush in about him. I'm a little over the communicator. Jay's gonna come in and gush in about him. I'm a little over the communicator. Jay's gonna come in and gush in about him. I'm a little over the communicator. Jay's gonna come in and gush him percent of my fans listen me because

What everyone knows I'm a fan you are you we know All right, you love him. I do like him. I think it's talented. I don't think he's like a talentless guy At all I thought in fact I was worried On M&M's behalf when he made that rap devil songs. I was like, oh, he kind of fucking like, he was drilling them. He was probably the most attacked I've ever seen. Anybody, or attack anyone's ever going on M&M. And then M&M just wrapped him right into pink clothes.

And it's insane. Did you think anyone's a rap stamina? He beat him into longer hair and pink things. He beat him into emo? Yeah. He's like, you made him sad. Yeah, he got punched right into fucking Megan Fox's snitch. Good on him. Good on him.

Do you think Brian Austin Green is mad at Eminem? He's like, dude, what the fuck? You punched him right into my wife. Oh, yeah, dude. Bag. Bag. Well, bag's got a new lady who him right into my wife. Oh yeah dude, bag. Bag, well bag's got a new lady who just had a baby. She hot? Yeah, bag rebounded.

Oh yeah? Yeah, but I lost in green, dude. Yeah, but he punched me man. But she had a baby so, did you beat it up though? Did he beat it up too good now? What do you mean? Like, is this C section that you get stretched marks? Do you fucking wear her out?

I don't know, we don't talk that much anymore. Megan Fox doesn't have any kids, right? They have two kids. Megan Fox. With Brian Austin Green. Did she? Yeah. She had two kids with them.

She's a mom. Yeah. She's running around like this is a mom. As a man. Yeah. Her bike and blood drinking. You could be a mom in a pig. Well, you could be a mom.

Do you know this, Chris? And you could be a mom and a complete moronic retard. You know that? They, they have to have a couple of kids. I don't think I'm a mom and immediately like, and turn you face of life. Some moms were fucking plastic mini skirts and fucking, you know.

And some moms don't. Some moms wear butt plugs all day, vibrating ones that people at home can control from a computer. And some moms wear kit kitten sweatshirts and Make wonderful grilled cheeses the world keeps this big marble keeps spinning everybody She gets it She knows did she know how dangerous you were my grandma. Yeah, yeah for sure. She knew dude Albany's about to find out Friday and Saturday Friday and Austin Green does not look good. You can go to big J.

comedy if you dare to go get tickets to see him in Albany, New York, and then there'll be an Oklahoma City big J. comedy.com. I can't see my eyes because I'm for this day right now. Dan Soder everybody if you're if you're willing to go through whatever kind of I can only describe it as a Riot of chaos outside as Dan haters and lovers clash over the things this guy is willing to put out there in the world That's happening at Tacoma comedy club in Washington July 21st through the 23rd after that Oklahoma Phoenix Dan Soder dot com guys. Don't forget the Lord save me at OklahomaFenixDanceSoter.com. Guys, don't forget the Lord save your Jesus Christ.

Christ is the world. The Lord save your Jesus Christ is the world. The Lord save your Jesus Christ is the world. You've been listening to Sirius XM's Bonfire. New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows. Always on Sirius XM. you